My heart dog passed almost 2 years ago and I still haven’t taken that walk. 🥺 I miss her more than words can ever say and I don’t think I’ll ever be the same again. 💔
i was just speaking with a friend, how i feel overwhelmed with Apathy, i have so many things i want to do, but ive lost everything three times in life, and just can't get up to fight anymore, i keep watching the world descend into madness, i feel trapped in an asylum.
Listening to Pink Floyd, "Brain Damage" in particular, helps. I've been kicked over and over, lost EVERYTHING 3 TIMES, and am so tired. I used to fight, stand up, and believed that things would get better, yet... I had to quit telling my friends how I feel. It wasn't helping me, or them. Sending you hugs, and hope.
It's really that building yourself from nothing and losing everything multiple times that really sucks your motivation to do anything cause everything feels pointless when you know you can lose all the effort and materials from your hard work, ultimately making your struggles and sacrifices feel worthless
I am trying my best to do it that way. The side effects are tough when you try to get off meds if you have been on long term. I don't want to lose the progress I jave made but sometimes I think, "Maybe I should just try another prescription pushed at me". I don't want the meds if I can use tools. Each person is different though and meds can definitely be a life saver to many. Use them if warranted. Wishing you the best in your journey.
And then there are psychologists that specialize in certain areas. I needed to find one that understood trauma, parental alienation, and addiction. Always make use of those free consultations to make sure there is a fit. It's SO important. Good luck on your healing journey!
Same here. I am trying to get off of them, but dealing with side effects angst, anger and lack of sleep is a bit too much. I've gone through video list on this channel, but couldn't find any specifically about medications... A video on this topic would be nice.
I’ve been learning about how to get the nutrients I need to help my brain make more serotonin and dopamine… B-6 and Tyrosine with magnesium Taurate to help make the dopamine… which helps me feel more motivated.
There's only so many times you can come back fighting when you've been knocked down over and over. You just give up. When you've lost everything over and over, family turning their backs on you, friends disappear because of relationship breakdowns, broken marriages, financial problems, lost homes, loss of precious pets, the list goes on and on, you can't find the physical or emotional strength to even try to claw your way up again. That's where I am now.
I feel like you just described my life. You don't have to get up and fight. You just have to get up. You are a collective wave of energy and sometimes thats all you have to be. Just a wave. Don't think, don't feel, just be. Give up on giving up. It's overrated anyway ❤
I stick to the absolute basics when I'm in what I call "the ditch".. I MAKE myself get out of the bed, I do not stray from my schedule of wake and sleep, I do not make important financial decisions and I make SURE to do my self care (excersise, rest and meditation). I take on the attitude of "this too shall pass" and carry on. It is absolutely a total battle when I'm in that "ditch". These funks(I call them that too) usually pass after a while. I've come to accept that this happens to me, I accept that I will not be at my best, I'll probably mope through the day and I get on with it. The earth keeps spinning regardless if I'm in the ditch or not.
This is exactly how I survived cyclical depression from my hormonal cycles, before I got medication for it. It was quite helpful! I'm proud of my 23 year old self for figuring out the reason for my depression. And this coping strategy!! 😂
If you do meditate, maybe you should try, when these feelings do come, to practice a whole body awareness. Every feeling is an awareness, and perhaps these episodes keep coming back because you haven't heeded their messages. Gendlin has thought the practice focusing on the 'felt sense'. You should check him out.
@gideonros2705 I'm 58 years old and I've been dealing with these cycles for my entire life. The thing I've learned from age is that there is a cycle to everything. The entirety of nature works in cycles.. everything.. including my body and brain. The key is acceptance of these cycles. Learning to accept and adjust to brain cycles (which are linked to all sorts of other cycles like weather, climate, magnetic field, kp index, food intake, seasons to include light exposure.. the cycles of living on earth are a huge part of my existence and I pay very close attention to how my brain and body react to the ever changing cycles. It helps to know that there is nothing wrong with me or how I meditate, think or feel.. its a part of how life just is.. for me.
What would we do without you Dr Scott? I have never heard anyone voice the struggles and thoughts I am experiencing, let alone provide tools and insight as to how to respond to them. God bless, man. Thank you for turning your personal struggles into healing opportunities for us.
My strategy is "I will thank myself later" ... whether it is to go to work or to go have lunch with a friend. I may not feel it at the moment but I know my future self will feel good about the memories and for my taking responsibility.
This is me. Been falling into a dark crack for the last six years. Now my husband has dementia and there is no money for help. I am just TIRED beyond description.
9 years dealing with this. Got knocked down one too many times. I know what I want to do and how to do it, but I struggle so much with just believing again. Without the belief that I can rise again, I just stay down there, stuck in the worst mental habits. Can help others all day, but can't seem to help myself. Keep putting out your content. It's reaching people who need it.
No friends or any family nearby. Old with athritis and a lifelong depression. My brain is so shut down that that l cannot even think what to do and l am so tired all the time. Is there anyone else feeling like this where we aren't even functioning. I want to sleep and not wake up. Sorry!
Exactly the same. COPD (emphysema) here. I get tired and sleep so much. I haven't left my apartment in over a year except for medical reasons. No friends or nearby family. In 10 years, I've lost both parents, my four closest friends, and my pet of 15 years. Every day is exactly the same and my fatigue is how you mentioned. Best wishes to you. 63 yr old woman with long depression, anxiety, and Borderline Personality Disorder.
l feel compelled to ask why are you not medicating for depression because it sounds like that would help. I relate! Don't surrender. Talk to your doctor. We all deserve better. @@marlenechicoine4005
Yes, the same here. I have a depression that started 2001. I never have had 1 minute break from it, lost my job, friends, family, all my interests.... I am "just" chronically sad, everything is hopeless.
@@marlenechicoine4005you have the same name as my mom. Losing her is part of what kicked this off for me. I might be biased but I think you have the best name in the world.
Felt so numb today I could hardly move. When will this end. I used to be so driven. Time to make a new deal with myself. To start again in the morning. I want to break out of this hell. People are counting on me if I’m being honest.
Scott: you're the best therapist I've encountered, including programs at McClean. Stay independent! The authorities are untrustworthy to say the least.
" If i am going to feel horrible no matter what i do, then i might as well do the productive stuff. Because some day once these bad feelings go away, ill be in a good position instead of having to crawl myself out of a hole that I've dug myself in during my depression ".
Doesnt work cause doing stuff actually does feel even worse than just bedrotting 😊 if i even have a choice when faced with executive disfunction cause it doesnt feel like i do
Thank you so much 😢 You understand the struggles of Depression. You're literally helping me navigate complicated Grief after the deaths and loss of so many people I loved. You're helping me find my way back to living one small step at a time ❤ Bless you
Mine started when I lost my dad and then my ain't and uncle and father in law. All within a year. I'm struggling with dissociation. It's like something else is talking and going about my business.
Oh, I wish you well. I am struggling right now because I was abandoned and there is stigma attached to my disease. In the past I had this stigma myself. I even tried to kill myself, because I thought I can do bad stuff when I am ill. I had many episodes. I made embarrassing things. But I rarely did anything really bad. And it wasn't because I meant to do something bad. So I made peace with my disease. I try to heal. I recently started this journey. But I still have episodes. But it least it in waves. Wave when I insane and wave when I understand that it was delusions and hallucinations. It's hard. I was so scared previous month I had a stomach problem. But at least I am not in your shoes. It breaks my heart. There is war in my country. I am so lucky. Our relatives returned alive. He lost his arm. But he is alive. I heard rumors that they don't survive usually. It's rare that soldiers survive, they either die either continue to fight. I want it to stop. But I can't do nothing about it
I am crawling out of the pit after 2 months of severe depression. I am motivated by the love of God. Im also a fighter for life. So far I keep trying again. I accomplish 1-2 objectives everyday. I can now realize these feelings that sometimes wash over me will go away and aren't permanent nor my true perspective . I do count my blessings.
You are profoundly affecting my life in a powerful way. THANK YOU for your, essentially charity work, here for those of us who cannot or will not access this type of essential therapeutic instructions. I now watch your video's daily, first thing in the morning. Now I am a better person for myself, my daughter's , my employer and my fellow citizens. As a widow I had given up on life. Now, after 8 years of grief, I am re engaging with life. Your words are giving me tools to be a person comfortable in my own head and making better choices and actions. You have my sincere respect.
But staying in bed does feel so much better than forcing myself to get up, forcing myself to do something ... Every little step takes so much effort, everything feels so exhausting. Even eating. And when I finally cave and fall back into bed, that feels so good ...!
That is death by comfort zone. It is short term versus longer term. And even though I am aware of that, I still feel the same about being in bed, like it is the one and only truly safe and peaceful place there is or something. ✌️
I congratulate myself for everything I do. Have you tried l-theanine or glycine? I take these to make myself do stuff when I don’t feel like it? I buy Now brand off of Amazon. They help!
For me anhedonia isn’t feeling nothing, it’s just that I can’t enjoy anything I used to or things that are supposed to be pleasurable like music, food, sex, socializing, movies, video games etc. I can force myself to do hobbies, or any of those things but there’s no reward, pleasure, enjoyment, satisfaction or accomplishment. I can still feel despair, hopelessness, anxiety, guilt, shame, embarrassment. I’ve had anhedonia for a few years now and I want to be able to enjoy things it just doesn’t work no matter how many times I try and put forth the effort. I think a lot of people mix up things like amotivation, apathy, anhedonia, avolition etc although a lot of times they come together and can feed off of each other.
@@colin6673 Sorry to hear. I’ve had it for a little over for years but the last 2 years have been more severe. Do you know what caused yours or has anything helped even a little?
I go through the motions. Not long ago, I told my friend how depressed I am and how I don't care about anything. She was shocked, she said "since WHEN? Your always smiling and talking. " I told her, I only do that the little bit of time I spend with people. I fake it the few hours an months I hang out with friends
I’m always intrigued by people who don’t deal with depression or anxiety. But once in a great while I will have a really great day. I try to repeat it or understand why. It’s cruel really, because you so desperately want to feel like that more often but it’s out of your reach or beyond the veil.
I relate. You can barely remember the really good days on the endless bad ones. I get the odd good time and it's like all becomes clear. I'm going to do this, I need to do that, and I feel motivated. Then the fog settles on again and can barely even remember how I felt and certainly can't tap into feeling like I can do all the things that might help more.
Been in the deepest depression of my life after facing eviction and a close family member dying. I’ve never been more indifferent in my life and it’s very concerning. Thanks for these videos.
Yeah. I felt absolutely on top of the world when I was four years old and rode my tricycle around the block all day long with my friend. I go back to remembering that feeling sometimes and it puts a big smile on my face. 🥰
No one has ever resonated with me as much as this man. Thank you so much! You have really opened a world to me where I can feel understood, gain helpful insight that works and not feel judged.
I hope this doesn’t come across as condescending because I genuinely believe that you are trying to help people and that is a noble cause. I just find the notion that I should be doing what might make me feel better incredibly shortsighted. When someone like me is living in the depths of painful, hopeless, and paralyzing chronic MDD it feels impossible to just go on a walk. I’ve spent thousands and thousands of dollars on years of therapy and every form of medication except ketamine therapy (because my insurance has never covered it) to get “better.” I’ve done the exercises, put in the effort, worked on my diet and thought hygiene and nothing works in the long term. I’m one of those people who doesn’t care that they don’t care because there is no logical point to it. I would love to experience the emotional highs and lows you described. I live in southern Appalachia, arguably one of the most beautiful places in the country. When I get up and look out on the water and the mountains, I don’t feel joy anymore. I haven’t felt genuine happiness in so long that it’s now just a memory. I actively volunteer with several nonprofit organizations only because I know that helping others is what everyone should do. I adopt medically fragile cats because I have the financial means to care for them. I have a job that is mission driven. I should be ecstatic about life, but it’s not there and I don’t see any way out now. I’m not suicidal. I’m just apathetic to my own life. I am proud and grateful that my close friends have found happiness. I wouldn’t wish this emotional void on anyone. But no amount of mental health broccoli is going to make this sad life any better. At some point, you just have to conclude that it’s not that the therapists are bad. The medication is not bad. It’s me. I’m the problem. I’m broken and I don’t see a future without this feeling. I wish it were different.
I was the same way until I went through trauma therapy (didn’t know I had trauma at the time) and somatic based therapies. Maybe look into those if you want, I was once in a similar situation and came to the same conclusion that I was the problem because nothing would help and those two things were the answers
"You" are different than your emotional states. I do not consider myself "Hunger" because I am hungry. It helps me to experience the symptoms of depression without judgment - especially on myself (a symptom of depression) - and with a knowledge that I've been there before and come out the other side. "You" can do it. Be compassionate toward your body which is on the ride along with you. But you are more than your bodily sensations.
5:30 the reason why I don't do anything isn't just because I don't get a feeling reward, it's also acompanied by a deep exhaustion and heaviness in my body that makes it feel like torture to push myself to do anything other than just lying in bed watching UA-cam. Even going to the bathroom is sometimes too much. Anybody else feel like this?
Have been struggling with what I call burnout depression after quitting my job and a series of stressful life events that has made me not want to do anything really. Currently unemployed and my life is now in a major rut. Not doing anything, not "feeling" like doing anything and being apathetic about life will further ruin my life and make things much worse than they should be. This is really helpful.
There are times where I present myself with stimulus intended to evoke emotion to gauge how much I am able to feel. With that said I avoid the sad things all the time now (like abused and rescued animal stories on YT, or war footage) because those ALWAYS evoke sadness and outrage. Got enough of that.... My favorites to see if they evoke joy in my current state are also on YT 1. People getting cochlear implants and hearing for the first time. This is my #1. 2. Adoption stories. 3. Puppies 4. motorcycle videos from favorite channels (lifelong passion, ride when I can be bothered to gather the energy to go to the garage)
I used to watch hoarders to motivate me to clean, or people sharing their WWII stories to remind myself that my life is amazing and I need to suck it up and move on. Only helped marginally... 🤷♀️
Thank you. You’re giving us such great tools for self talk. I’m a very logical person and just really need to have the right self. Talk tools to cope. Well most things I hear are unhelpful. Your advice is solid.
Yes, and when I do spend what little energy I can muster on organizing myself for the action, and then I "do it anyway" with no energy left, and it turns out so badly (both process and outcome) that I would have been better off not attempting to do it, that's a problem. I'm open to ideas for solutions!
I feel the same disaster waiting to happen I burn things when I cook Make big mess when I try then end up in tears because there is more clean up. Then the cycle carry on the next day its the Same I never make any improvement I'm stuck can't move forward.
@@hasinapatel1233 I am so sorry. I feel your pain. Just came home from a weekend that was supposed to be really fun and I was totally shocked when it was a disaster! (Due to a health issue last Sept., and I keep WAY overestimating my new, limited capabilities.) Thanking the Good Lord that the friend I was staying with totally understood and was completely supportive. I did end up having a catastrophic meltdown when I got to her house. I really, really thought that what I had planned was well within my capabilities. Guess not. VERY thankful this one friend has superhuman compassion.
When I feel anhedonia/depression, I get SO TIRED!!! I try coffee, sugar, anything... but i just can't keep my eyes open. I fall asleep at a dining table or in the bathroom. I also have late stage COPD, so that might be part of it. Now, I sleep during the day and am awake more at night. I get so confused about the date, meals , or the times to take medication.
Omigosh! You are describing exactly what i've been experiencing for the last couple of years. Wow, i'm EXCITED to know i'm not alone. I am gaining weight, energy sucks, I try finding times i will sleep to have the energy to do something like work, housecleaning, blah😢
@cherylbogdan5044 Thank you for your comment. It's helpful for me to hear from you, too. My new problem is mice in my kitchen! The challenges do seem to pile up, laundry, mail, etc, lly in there, and I'll be trying , too. I edited because I was pretending to be cheerful, and it wasn't really how I feel.
@@cherylbogdan5044Get your thyroid levels checked this is what I have and the symptoms match. I have no motivation to do anything but sit in a chair all day... don't know if thyroid is out of balance as I keep going to Drs for test ...just fed up with being a vegetable 😢... hope you find help..
If possible you should perhaps see a doctor. Carbon dioxide retention is common in COPD and causes all of those symptoms . It can be resolved with BIPAP therapy if its appropriate. I don't know the situation you are in and Obviously it may have nothing to do with that, but if it's something that can be resolved it could well be worth it. I hope you feel better regardless because its awful to live in misery.
@thewickedpixie63 It's amazing to receive such thoughtful feedback. I'm seeing a pulmonologist this month. I have a bi-pap at night, but should wear O2 during the day, and don't. Cleaning is hard (and endless!) so the dust really gets to me. Humidity is not good, though, either! Anyway, on top of depression? Yeah, I really have to make an effort! Thanks again. Best of wishes to you. 😊
Knowing and telling yourself that this feeling will pass, that this is a blip, and you will feel differently later, has been a big help to me in the past. But currently i feel like everything is compounding to make things even more insurmountable. Hopelessness, unemployment and needing to find something new, neglecting friends and family and feeling bad about it, a perpetually messy house and endless tasks that need to be done. I can't get myself to do any of it. Disthymia and ADHD here.
I’m have a similar presentation. I like the advice to focus on actions when thoughts & feelings start tanking. Stop thinking. You know when you are half listening to someone & their words are not registering? Do that to the critical voice & the feelings. Activate the part of the trifecta, Action, that is most controllable. The 2 min tool- “I will doing my morning things for 2 min.” Do & celebrate the movements that have the least resistance. Being upright, cleaning teeth, having a tea or coffee, even just sit in morning light.
I do the work because doing it and seeing ANY change, is better than no change. 😁 I watched one of your videos and went from months/years of life-draining apathy to hosting dinner parties and socialising within 4 months. I realised i was in shut down. I started to recover within 24 hours of watching it. You are quite brilliant, Dr Scott! Thank you.
Your concept of process and outcome goals has really given me that "this is it" feeling. I have spent most of my adult life chronically depressed, and now I really feel like I know why. I'm a baby boomer, and my generation was/is very outcome focused.
My severe depression, apathy, and anhedonia mixture feels like being in prison and this is just the way it is until the day I die and then I'll finally be out. That said, I have taken lessons from you that have helped. I'm going to take this one and perhaps I might get pardoned at some point and have will have made choices that will let me enjoy my freedom. I have no idea what that would even look like... I also feel like my brain chemistry is a big part of my mental health struggles and that someday there will be advances that will make this time look like the dark ages in mental health. I hope I can participate when that day comes. Thank you for sticking through the hard days. It gives me hope. ♥
I’ve struggled with depression off and on over the years so I’m experienced enough to know when it’s “flaring up,” and when to seek help. However, despite my intellectual understanding that apathy is a symptom of depression, I have never fully been able to overcome the internalized belief that I’m just *lazy*. Finding this video helped to remind me that it’s a false belief and that I’m not alone in this struggle.
I go to work, because others depend on my paycheck. That is the only thing I can consistently make myself do. I can’t motivate myself to do anything. Nothing is worth the effort. I eat because that is what I do when there is nothing else to do. I shower once or twice a week. I never exercise. I can’t even focus on this 20 minute video. I feel trapped in my own body. If I could give it all up I would. I wish I could be stuck on a desert island. If I couldn’t push myself constantly to survive, I would just fade away and I would be okay with that. I don’t see a time in the future when I can care about anything.
“I want the day I am capable of feeling good again to be the day I feel good again. I do not want there to be a lag time where I am capable of feeling good again but I’m not doing the things that would produce that feeling because then, it is my fault.” This is the reframe I needed. Apathy-ception. Thank you.
Apathy vs apathy, round 1, FIGHT! I like it. I have good success breaking my day up with a goal planner app and getting tiny dopamine rewards for each micro accomplishment but this is a great backup plan, thanks.
I'm being realistic, not pessimistic when I share my opinion that trauma burdened folks like myself will never be 100% healed. Right now estimate my healing journey is about 80% complete...and I still have way too much anxiety and downtime. I've learned from this channel that this is not a sign of regression, just a symptom of dealing with a very complex and demanding healing process. I have learned to place some trust in an underlying intuitive sense that I am close to my healing goal, and to ride out downtimes quickly with as little self negativity as possible. Our subconscious minds fight us right up to the moment when our reprogramming is complete. Yet as we advance, changes that become embedded act as subtle saboteurs to negative subconscious thoughts. I have gained strength in knowing that (excessive) downtimes will continue for a while longer...and that while my goal line is approaching, I may not realize I have reached it until after the fact.
@@beverlytaylor1745 - Stay encouraged! It took all my strength to reason with myself against quitting completely, as I woke up this morning. It was not logical. It was purely emotional. Having lived on the edge of collapsing emotions for so long...keeping in "wise mind" is a challenge. It is my only hope to continue.
I agree that I don't think that I will ever get totally healed. Recovery was originally a goal of the person who was suffering from a mental health problem in the face of professionals who didn't believe they could. After a while the professionals took recovery over and then the insurance companies got hold of it and recovery became mandatory. I really don't like having recovery shoved down my throat. I'm 77 now and I haven't recovered yet. How much longer am I going to be expected to do that?
Scott, this video is SO HELPFUL! I was literally in that joyless, meaningless headspace and then listening to your self-reverse psychology I got moving!!! I am still moving!!!! Thank you! 🙏🏽🥰🙏🏽
I learn something from your videos almost every time. Thank you for your hard work! Today, however, I also had an “A-ha!” moment! You said something that cracked my defeatist mood. Without sharing too much, I’ll just say this… Instead of the “Just Do It” self-talk (that fails most of the time anyway), I’m going to change it to “Just Get It Over With!” That is something I can definitely see myself actually sticking to! So, thank you, thank you, Thank You, Dr. Eilers!!! 🤟😎🌈☮️
I went through anhedonia after I got sick. It slowly improved to where I could live again. After 10 years I finally asked for an antidepressant and my doctor put me on Wellbutrin. It was life changing. I could smile and be happy. I’m still on it and thriving, currently doing a master’s degree.
Why does this make so much sense? Yes, it's so simple but does not mean it lacks measure in how much it will help. I liken it to the simplistic Mell Robbins "Let them" rule. Let them in front of you in traffic; Let them exclude you from the invite; Let them...(fill in the blank). This is super valuable for me. Thank you.
This is a really interesting way to think about it. I'm not sure whether it will work, but it's worth a shot. I keep thinking my mental state can't get any worse and I keep proving myself wrong. In the last week, I've been feeling this complete lack of positive emotion. Nothing works anymore. Not even the stupid, fleeting sources of instant-gratification dopamine. Even music doesn't get through to me anymore, and that's always been reliable for me. I've been ruled by my emotions (or lack thereof) for so long and I feel powerless. I think I'm at that point of "screw emotions". So I hope that's a good sign that these strategies can help me fix my life because I have nothing tf else to lose
meditating for 3 hours is curing my apathy and anhedonia. If you can sit with your pain for that long you will start to develop new nerve pathways in the brain, hormones start rebalancing. this has been a 31 year journey
@donflo3 I go to a psychiatrist every month to assess my state of depression & anxiety. He listens and adjusts my antidepressants. He is very nice, and I feel comfortable talking to him. However, I feel much more hopeful watching Scott's video. He has a beautiful gift being able to speak to our hearts.
By far, you give the most practical, common sensical, effective, descriptions of what to do in real life when various emotions overtake us for a while. I am 71 years of age. I have interacted with many therapists over the years. I wish I met you 50 years ago. I am just so taken by your approach to living with major depression, PTSD. You are just really good. I wish I could express it better but you are really good. And thank you.
This channel just adds weight to the idea that a big part of the way we solve life issues is through honest self-analysis and contemplation. Nice work, sir
I'm Bipolar, and I only recently found out that this flattening is a side effect of my medications. I'm no longer suicidal, or having random sex and spending all my money, but now I just don't care about anything. I live in a war zone, and when the rocket sirens go off I barely want to get up and walk across the street to the bomb shelter. I keep thinking "Oh well, it doesn't matter either way." The only thing that makes me truly happy is watching nature documentaries. I live in a crappy apartment, so seeing nature is good for me.
I know exactly what your going through. I was taking zoloft for depression. Then about a month into it, it started working and I felt better. But it kept going farther into.. everything's ok, so much I asked my self; how would I feel if someone died I knew, and would say that's life, we all die, and probably not shed a tear. Then I asked my self, what if it was my son? I would felt the same way too. And envision myself at his funeral and I wasnt crying. I knew that's not how its supposed to be. Its was stripping my humanity away. So I stopped taking the meds becouse my problem was mental, the meds worked and fixed things and I wasnt sure what my problems was then. So if it was mental, I was going to find a way to work it out. However I worked most of it out, I'm calling my self a high functioning depressant. I go to work and pay Bill's and had a roof over my head, but in actually I've been just hiding it from everyone. Till a few days ago, I discovered I suffer from betrayal trauma, some deep stuff that is, but I understand now all the questions answered. Yes all. I'm so relieved. Yet its gonna be a journey as these bad habits are baked into my brain and I can only mitigate it right now when they pop up, but at least I'm at a start and I hope you find the answers you've been looking for and recover from what ever is going on with you. May you find peace and love.
Hi Dr Scott! I love your approach to mental health and I resonate so much with most of what you discuss here. HOWEVER , anhedonia is something that I almost never feel when I'm depressed! Is that weird?? I usually feel a deep sadness that pervades every area of life. Even "good things" have a dark lining of sadness or hopelessness when I'm depressed. There's no lack of feeling, it's an intense feeling of profound sadness. Is this another type of depression??
I have found you to be the most lucid, helpful source of information on depression, anxiety, and so forth...and I think it is mainly from you having had to dig yourself out of your own hole. it gives authenticity to all your solutions. Thank you!
This video is so helpful! I love the apathyception idea and am going to use that. I wanted to share a couple tricks that I've found work for me: - Anger/Rage cleaning. If I'm having a crappy day, or can't feel motivated to do anything useful, I'll pick a chore that I HATE doing and just do it. And let myself be angry, grumbly, whatever while doing it. Because at the end, I'll have done that shitty chore and tomorrow I'll probably be glad I did it. - Boring/healthy food prep: keep a stash of boring-healthy food around. I like to freeze portions of lentils+veg (see dal recipes for ideas), so on days I can't think of what to eat or where I don't have energy, I can just pull one of those out, heat and eat. Appreciate your videos so much!
I absolutely love this “I don’t Care,that I don’t care”. I have an overcaring about s…t and I love simplicity in recreating a mental language. I giggled instantly when you said that. Thank you for sharing your Experience,Strength and Hope
I couldn't get off the couch. No motivation, chronic fatigue. Thought it was depression. It was a vestibular deficit - an inner ear problem affecting balance, etc. Apparently I've been living with it for years. Saw multiple therapists and psychiatrists. Only one suggested that I get my ears checked. That one is a genius. Get checked out people!
Also, those process goals often have other positive side effects - walking strengthens the immune system, saving that money even though spent on house repairs still 'saves' you that 8,000 that would have been taken anyway. Thank you Dr Scott. :) (and I'm surprised that a therapist actually speaks of their own 'apathyception' and in doing so actually helps us others!).
Well, I guess one good thing about the algorithm is it led me here! Grateful to have found you. Even after two videos, I already feel better. I've stayed single for 9 yrs; Fought a good fight, But I don't think ive struggled more until this year. I'm trying to change my mindset from " I hate everything, but Im Grateful " to " I love my beautiful mess". Yep. I need help
Thank you. I'm a brain injury survivor. I've lost so much... Everything really. Now everything is better than I ever imagined, but I just can't make myself participate in life. I'm in Ketamine therapy and it is helping a bit. I recently had to go back to weekly doses instead of every 2 weeks.
Thank you for your chanel It helps me beyond words! I have an adult son, 26 years old, with Schizoeffective disorder with bipolar. It can be a dark journey for him as well as me. You have given me education, help, hope and strength to keep going and I have been able to pass those benefits on to my son. Thank you so very much. Keep it up!!
My life was strongly structured around goals for a good life, and moving towards them, even if my emotions resisted now and then. This approach got me a wife, 3 kids, succeessful career, and nice stuff. Winning on most scorecards. Then my wife has an affair, the world goes crazy over covid, and I stopped getting out of bed. For two years I have been pinned down by apathy, and anhedonia. I wish my former way of living worked for me today. I hope others can put Scott's perspectives and advice to good effect.
Keep doing those things you did. You can get those things again. I think of a man who lost everything…wealth, wife, children to a horrific violent crime. He got lots of therapy, kept taking it one step at a time. He is remarried, has children & rebuilt his life. He said one step, one day, one moment at a time. Live in the moment. Appreciate the present. It has a purpose, even if painful. The pain doesn’t have to be the biggest thing forever.
I just discovered your channel last week. Your videos have been a huge help during a time of major life transitions and overwhelming changes for me. Thank you. 🙏💜
Thank you for sharing such insightful strategies for managing apathy and anhedonia. Your personal experiences and practical advice are incredibly valuable to many.
I feel like most days I'm just tired of being tired & you are so right. Those things that you powered through will have some kind of payoff at a later time...❤ I needed this today. Thank you.
Jake I have watched your channel from when you were a garden content creator. I am so happy for you that you have found peace and happiness. You could tell that back then you were missing something in your life and now you have found it. Happy the babies and nicole are happy and healthy.
I lived much of my life doing this because I had no choice (a child to raise). Once child was raised and gone it was actually harder because no reason. And what he’s saying here now really helps so much.
Loved this. It took years before I realized the one guarantee was that the anhedonia was temporary. After that i was empowered to develop the most advantageous behaviors no matter my mood. Well described and rings so true! Thank you! ❤
Im stuck Scott, now for at least seven years. Both ways medicated or not and at 61 my life is whizzing by at an alarming rate. Im scared man. Chronic pain daily. No hope in sight.
No one has ever said words that speak to both my mind and emotions, as smoothly and as effectively as you do, Dr. The help I get here is priceless. Thank you!
I have routines. I follow those routines. As long as i follow those routines, everything stays stable. I know the dark times will come. I try to plan for that, as much as i can.
You are the first person I have ever heard describe exactly how I operate in life. I am now on the road of self acceptance and have realistic strategies to try. I can’t thank you enough.
I think the reason for wanting to spend the $10 is that often, buying something you want is pleasant and exciting. If you feel apathetic, those are enticing feelings and the hope is that by spending the $10, you'll get them. It's easy to forget that in those circumstances the purchase is often disappointing.
The way you described having process goals and the difference between those and outcome goals is so helpful. Thank you! When I'm in the black hole, which I describe as the basement of my psyche, my process goals often feel like I'm just going through the motions. Now I really see how going through the motions is a really supportive thing, and not something I need to judge as not good enough.
This video and it's Chinese fortune cookie advice furthers my belief that we're doomed and that makes me sad. I think being sad is an appropriate response to doom. It allows me to appreciate what I have today.
This video was exactly what i needed. Currently working on managing my apathy in therapy this week and this was the exact insight i needed. Thank you so much
"massive lifestyle deficit" says it all! Im going back to stacking boxes I just wanted to thank you for these tiny yet huge bites of reality. Your thought provocative videos have helped me to start shaking off the rust in cracks of my mind so that i can get to welding it back together. Oh, and i love your anologies. I have a cartoonist in my mind (when my mind is ecen fired up these days but again: stacking boxes) this cartoonist keeps a running, darkly comical commentary of the world around me and this cartoonist in my mind can run with your anologies and really absorb your point.
This is exactly what I am going through for the last 3 years 😢. My husband broke his neck and had a TBI, and was in the hospital for 460 days. Then my cat died4yr. Old male- sudden kidney failure. Then my house flooded, and they found asbestos. I spent 1 year in a hotel. My 16 yr.old cat passed away on my pillow. Got home to stolen property and broken furniture! Filed a police report. They came back to my garage and took a bat to my classic Trans Am. I have to clean & move everything myself. I have lost my husband of 41years, and we were married @17! I am lost. Stuck. Not able to get anything done but cry..😪 . How do I restore my heart ❤️? My life? Help!
I’m so sorry you have gone through so much in such a short time. I hope there is something that can bring meaning to your life so you have something to anchor yourself too while you work through the grief. ❤😢
It took me a hot minute to process your statement about “binging on goldfish”… I had a confusing mental image I couldn’t quite understand. 😂 Obviously that’s not all I took from this. I like your idea about continuing to do things that are good for you even when you don’t really care…but I feel it takes a certain strength to recognise that choice in the moment. Hopefully having it pointed out will serve as a reminder next time anhedonia hits. Also - I’m quietly shocked that someone who appears as physically healthy as you do has an aversion to vegetables. I’m using all my willpower not to suggest a million ways to make them taste better. 😂
My dog passed away at the end of January. Tonight, after listening to this video, I took my walk without him.
Very sorry for your loss.
Pet loss is so hard. I'm sorry for the loss of your little guy.
💔🐕🌟
So sorry, but great job! ❤👍
My heart dog passed almost 2 years ago and I still haven’t taken that walk. 🥺 I miss her more than words can ever say and I don’t think I’ll ever be the same again. 💔
i was just speaking with a friend, how i feel overwhelmed with Apathy, i have so many things i want to do, but ive lost everything three times in life, and just can't get up to fight anymore, i keep watching the world descend into madness, i feel trapped in an asylum.
+1 here. Try and focus only on you and being the human you expect others to be.
Listening to Pink Floyd, "Brain Damage" in particular, helps. I've been kicked over and over, lost EVERYTHING 3 TIMES, and am so tired. I used to fight, stand up, and believed that things would get better, yet... I had to quit telling my friends how I feel. It wasn't helping me, or them. Sending you hugs, and hope.
Here too 😢
It's really that building yourself from nothing and losing everything multiple times that really sucks your motivation to do anything cause everything feels pointless when you know you can lose all the effort and materials from your hard work, ultimately making your struggles and sacrifices feel worthless
The world is going to shit. You are not imagining.
What ive learned from this channel is that i need a psychologist, not a psychiatrist. I need tools, not medicine
I am trying my best to do it that way. The side effects are tough when you try to get off meds if you have been on long term. I don't want to lose the progress I jave made but sometimes I think, "Maybe I should just try another prescription pushed at me". I don't want the meds if I can use tools. Each person is different though and meds can definitely be a life saver to many. Use them if warranted. Wishing you the best in your journey.
It's sad, it used to be different but insurance companies want psychiatrists to source as little time with patients as possible.
Me too.❤
And then there are psychologists that specialize in certain areas. I needed to find one that understood trauma, parental alienation, and addiction. Always make use of those free consultations to make sure there is a fit. It's SO important. Good luck on your healing journey!
Same here. I am trying to get off of them, but dealing with side effects angst, anger and lack of sleep is a bit too much. I've gone through video list on this channel, but couldn't find any specifically about medications... A video on this topic would be nice.
Except we rarely just have apathy. There is also the fatigue and lack of motivation.
Riiiiight!! That constant feeling of exhaustion ...
emu1028 That sounds horrible 😢😢 Anhedonia is such a nightmare. I totally understand being demotivated...feeling unable to do anything
@emu1028 😢that's rough
I’ve been learning about how to get the nutrients I need to help my brain make more serotonin and dopamine… B-6 and Tyrosine with magnesium Taurate to help make the dopamine… which helps me feel more motivated.
Vitamin D3 5,000 mg per day.
There's only so many times you can come back fighting when you've been knocked down over and over. You just give up. When you've lost everything over and over, family turning their backs on you, friends disappear because of relationship breakdowns, broken marriages, financial problems, lost homes, loss of precious pets, the list goes on and on, you can't find the physical or emotional strength to even try to claw your way up again. That's where I am now.
I hope you’ll find your light again. I believe in you
I feel you.
I feel like you just described my life. You don't have to get up and fight. You just have to get up. You are a collective wave of energy and sometimes thats all you have to be. Just a wave. Don't think, don't feel, just be. Give up on giving up. It's overrated anyway ❤
I don’t know what to say except every word you typed is my life. My whole broken and wasted life.
The same here. Love from Denmark ♥️@@frasersgirl4383
I stick to the absolute basics when I'm in what I call "the ditch".. I MAKE myself get out of the bed, I do not stray from my schedule of wake and sleep, I do not make important financial decisions and I make SURE to do my self care (excersise, rest and meditation). I take on the attitude of "this too shall pass" and carry on. It is absolutely a total battle when I'm in that "ditch". These funks(I call them that too) usually pass after a while. I've come to accept that this happens to me, I accept that I will not be at my best, I'll probably mope through the day and I get on with it. The earth keeps spinning regardless if I'm in the ditch or not.
Whoa - Don't make financial decisions. You got me with that insight.
This is exactly how I survived cyclical depression from my hormonal cycles, before I got medication for it. It was quite helpful! I'm proud of my 23 year old self for figuring out the reason for my depression. And this coping strategy!! 😂
I like that image. It sounds like something a person can traverse (and become more skilled at it), as opposed to being stuck in a pit.
If you do meditate, maybe you should try, when these feelings do come, to practice a whole body awareness. Every feeling is an awareness, and perhaps these episodes keep coming back because you haven't heeded their messages. Gendlin has thought the practice focusing on the 'felt sense'. You should check him out.
@gideonros2705 I'm 58 years old and I've been dealing with these cycles for my entire life. The thing I've learned from age is that there is a cycle to everything. The entirety of nature works in cycles.. everything.. including my body and brain. The key is acceptance of these cycles. Learning to accept and adjust to brain cycles (which are linked to all sorts of other cycles like weather, climate, magnetic field, kp index, food intake, seasons to include light exposure.. the cycles of living on earth are a huge part of my existence and I pay very close attention to how my brain and body react to the ever changing cycles. It helps to know that there is nothing wrong with me or how I meditate, think or feel.. its a part of how life just is.. for me.
What would we do without you Dr Scott? I have never heard anyone voice the struggles and thoughts I am experiencing, let alone provide tools and insight as to how to respond to them. God bless, man. Thank you for turning your personal struggles into healing opportunities for us.
Absolutely, well versed x
Literally saving me on a day to day basis.
My strategy is "I will thank myself later" ... whether it is to go to work or to go have lunch with a friend. I may not feel it at the moment but I know my future self will feel good about the memories and for my taking responsibility.
Thank you for this. The way you said it helps.
I love your note 🎉 it has inspired me
anyone suffer from not only depression, but chronic nervousness, too?
Boo
Yes. but could it be caused by stimulants?
@@UglyFaceOnAStick-iz8btstimulants help me with anxiety because i have adhd
Yes both. You are not alone.
@@jaynegiampietro4134 thanks, nice to know! cold and nervous right now.
This is me. Been falling into a dark crack for the last six years. Now my husband has dementia and there is no money for help. I am just TIRED beyond description.
💜🌷 I'm sorry honey 😢
@@nancyayotte2297 🥲 thank you, good soul. Hugs. ❤️🌹
Reach out to your county Department of aging and disability. They have supportive programs (including free respite care) that are not based on income.
@@tanyl1 Thank you for your kind advice. ❤️
🙏🏼
9 years dealing with this. Got knocked down one too many times. I know what I want to do and how to do it, but I struggle so much with just believing again. Without the belief that I can rise again, I just stay down there, stuck in the worst mental habits. Can help others all day, but can't seem to help myself.
Keep putting out your content. It's reaching people who need it.
The unshakable belief that youll be 'punished' for any progress you make... The belief from past experiences apsect sucks a lot.
That's something, I don't even know what I like or wanna do anymore.
No friends or any family nearby. Old with athritis and a lifelong depression. My brain is so shut down that that l cannot even think what to do and l am so tired all the time. Is there anyone else feeling like this where we aren't even functioning. I want to sleep and not wake up. Sorry!
Exactly the same. COPD (emphysema) here. I get tired and sleep so much. I haven't left my apartment in over a year except for medical reasons. No friends or nearby family. In 10 years, I've lost both parents, my four closest friends, and my pet of 15 years. Every day is exactly the same and my fatigue is how you mentioned. Best wishes to you. 63 yr old woman with long depression, anxiety, and Borderline Personality Disorder.
l feel compelled to ask why are you not medicating for depression because it sounds like that would help. I relate! Don't surrender. Talk to your doctor. We all deserve better. @@marlenechicoine4005
Yes, the same here. I have a depression that started 2001. I never have had 1 minute break from it, lost my job, friends, family, all my interests.... I am "just" chronically sad, everything is hopeless.
@@marlenechicoine4005you have the same name as my mom. Losing her is part of what kicked this off for me. I might be biased but I think you have the best name in the world.
Felt so numb today I could hardly move. When will this end. I used to be so driven. Time to make a new deal with myself. To start again in the morning. I want to break out of this hell. People are counting on me if I’m being honest.
Scott: you're the best therapist I've encountered, including programs at McClean. Stay independent! The authorities are untrustworthy to say the least.
" If i am going to feel horrible no matter what i do, then i might as well do the productive stuff. Because some day once these bad feelings go away, ill be in a good position instead of having to crawl myself out of a hole that I've dug myself in during my depression ".
This is pin 📌 worthy!!!
That’s excellent! I like this!
💯❤️🩹
Doesnt work cause doing stuff actually does feel even worse than just bedrotting 😊 if i even have a choice when faced with executive disfunction cause it doesnt feel like i do
@@daw1dstec I feel the same. But I did the dishes and sorted some papers.
Thank you so much 😢 You understand the struggles of Depression. You're literally helping me navigate complicated Grief after the deaths and loss of so many people I loved. You're helping me find my way back to living one small step at a time ❤ Bless you
Me too, including my pet of 15 years...I understand.
Mine started when I lost my dad and then my ain't and uncle and father in law. All within a year. I'm struggling with dissociation. It's like something else is talking and going about my business.
U all good. Hope so
Oh, I wish you well. I am struggling right now because I was abandoned and there is stigma attached to my disease. In the past I had this stigma myself. I even tried to kill myself, because I thought I can do bad stuff when I am ill. I had many episodes. I made embarrassing things. But I rarely did anything really bad. And it wasn't because I meant to do something bad. So I made peace with my disease. I try to heal. I recently started this journey. But I still have episodes. But it least it in waves. Wave when I insane and wave when I understand that it was delusions and hallucinations. It's hard. I was so scared previous month I had a stomach problem.
But at least I am not in your shoes. It breaks my heart. There is war in my country. I am so lucky. Our relatives returned alive. He lost his arm. But he is alive. I heard rumors that they don't survive usually. It's rare that soldiers survive, they either die either continue to fight. I want it to stop. But I can't do nothing about it
My reaction to this video is literally feeling nothing while thinking "oh, I feel so understood, this is game-changing advice, love it"
I am crawling out of the pit after 2 months of severe depression. I am motivated by the love of God. Im also a fighter for life. So far I keep trying again. I accomplish 1-2 objectives everyday. I can now realize these feelings that sometimes wash over me will go away and aren't permanent nor my true perspective . I do count my blessings.
You are profoundly affecting my life in a powerful way. THANK YOU for your, essentially charity work, here for those of us who cannot or will not access this type of essential therapeutic instructions. I now watch your video's daily, first thing in the morning. Now I am a better person for myself, my daughter's , my employer and my fellow citizens. As a widow I had given up on life. Now, after 8 years of grief, I am re engaging with life. Your words are giving me tools to be a person comfortable in my own head and making better choices and actions. You have my sincere respect.
But staying in bed does feel so much better than forcing myself to get up, forcing myself to do something ...
Every little step takes so much effort, everything feels so exhausting. Even eating. And when I finally cave and fall back into bed, that feels so good ...!
That is death by comfort zone.
It is short term versus longer term.
And even though I am aware of that, I still feel the same about being in bed, like it is the one and only truly safe and peaceful place there is or something.
✌️
I'm SO feeling this
Yup
In that case it maybe it is burnout or exhaustion rather than anhedonia? I've had both at different times and it is different.
I congratulate myself for everything I do.
Have you tried l-theanine or glycine? I take these to make myself do stuff when I don’t feel like it? I buy Now brand off of Amazon.
They help!
For me anhedonia isn’t feeling nothing, it’s just that I can’t enjoy anything I used to or things that are supposed to be pleasurable like music, food, sex, socializing, movies, video games etc. I can force myself to do hobbies, or any of those things but there’s no reward, pleasure, enjoyment, satisfaction or accomplishment.
I can still feel despair, hopelessness, anxiety, guilt, shame, embarrassment.
I’ve had anhedonia for a few years now and I want to be able to enjoy things it just doesn’t work no matter how many times I try and put forth the effort.
I think a lot of people mix up things like amotivation, apathy, anhedonia, avolition etc although a lot of times they come together and can feed off of each other.
Same. I fucking hate anhedonia. I've had it for almost 6 years. It sucks.
@@colin6673 Sorry to hear. I’ve had it for a little over for years but the last 2 years have been more severe. Do you know what caused yours or has anything helped even a little?
I agree with what you said.
@@colin6673me too. My beloved husband died Christmas Eve 2017.. .for 2 years all I did was care for him and my mother. Then I had nothing.....
I go through the motions.
Not long ago, I told my friend how depressed I am and how I don't care about anything. She was shocked, she said "since WHEN? Your always smiling and talking. " I told her, I only do that the little bit of time I spend with people. I fake it the few hours an months I hang out with friends
I’m always intrigued by people who don’t deal with depression or anxiety. But once in a great while I will have a really great day. I try to repeat it or understand why. It’s cruel really, because you so desperately want to feel like that more often but it’s out of your reach or beyond the veil.
I relate. You can barely remember the really good days on the endless bad ones. I get the odd good time and it's like all becomes clear. I'm going to do this, I need to do that, and I feel motivated. Then the fog settles on again and can barely even remember how I felt and certainly can't tap into feeling like I can do all the things that might help more.
It’s a habit. Just congratulate yourself for every single thing you do. I got up! I’m doing a great job!
@@saintejeannedarc9460try ltheanine and glycine. They really help.
So real.
Been in the deepest depression of my life after facing eviction and a close family member dying. I’ve never been more indifferent in my life and it’s very concerning. Thanks for these videos.
I just want to go back to the way I felt as a child. I actually enjoyed doing things and had motivation. I never knew it would be taken away from me.
And now I'm crying. ❤
Yeah. I felt absolutely on top of the world when I was four years old and rode my tricycle around the block all day long with my friend. I go back to remembering that feeling sometimes and it puts a big smile on my face. 🥰
Trauma locks this inner child away from us as we grow older
No one has ever resonated with me as much as this man. Thank you so much! You have really opened a world to me where I can feel understood, gain helpful insight that works and not feel judged.
You must feel good inside because of all the people you are helping. Such a talented teacher.
I hope this doesn’t come across as condescending because I genuinely believe that you are trying to help people and that is a noble cause. I just find the notion that I should be doing what might make me feel better incredibly shortsighted. When someone like me is living in the depths of painful, hopeless, and paralyzing chronic MDD it feels impossible to just go on a walk. I’ve spent thousands and thousands of dollars on years of therapy and every form of medication except ketamine therapy (because my insurance has never covered it) to get “better.” I’ve done the exercises, put in the effort, worked on my diet and thought hygiene and nothing works in the long term. I’m one of those people who doesn’t care that they don’t care because there is no logical point to it. I would love to experience the emotional highs and lows you described. I live in southern Appalachia, arguably one of the most beautiful places in the country. When I get up and look out on the water and the mountains, I don’t feel joy anymore. I haven’t felt genuine happiness in so long that it’s now just a memory. I actively volunteer with several nonprofit organizations only because I know that helping others is what everyone should do. I adopt medically fragile cats because I have the financial means to care for them. I have a job that is mission driven. I should be ecstatic about life, but it’s not there and I don’t see any way out now. I’m not suicidal. I’m just apathetic to my own life. I am proud and grateful that my close friends have found happiness. I wouldn’t wish this emotional void on anyone. But no amount of mental health broccoli is going to make this sad life any better. At some point, you just have to conclude that it’s not that the therapists are bad. The medication is not bad. It’s me. I’m the problem. I’m broken and I don’t see a future without this feeling. I wish it were different.
At least you are helping others especially with the cat's.i feel just the same..and for some reason I attract cats around me all the time.
I was the same way until I went through trauma therapy (didn’t know I had trauma at the time) and somatic based therapies. Maybe look into those if you want, I was once in a similar situation and came to the same conclusion that I was the problem because nothing would help and those two things were the answers
@@kayleighjewell3098thank you. I will look into that. I appreciate it!
I relate to every single thing you said. Thank you 💛
"You" are different than your emotional states. I do not consider myself "Hunger" because I am hungry. It helps me to experience the symptoms of depression without judgment - especially on myself (a symptom of depression) - and with a knowledge that I've been there before and come out the other side. "You" can do it. Be compassionate toward your body which is on the ride along with you. But you are more than your bodily sensations.
5:30 the reason why I don't do anything isn't just because I don't get a feeling reward, it's also acompanied by a deep exhaustion and heaviness in my body that makes it feel like torture to push myself to do anything other than just lying in bed watching UA-cam. Even going to the bathroom is sometimes too much. Anybody else feel like this?
COMPLETELY.
Yep.
Have been struggling with what I call burnout depression after quitting my job and a series of stressful life events that has made me not want to do anything really. Currently unemployed and my life is now in a major rut. Not doing anything, not "feeling" like doing anything and being apathetic about life will further ruin my life and make things much worse than they should be.
This is really helpful.
How are you doing now? I am in the same situation
There are times where I present myself with stimulus intended to evoke emotion to gauge how much I am able to feel. With that said I avoid the sad things all the time now (like abused and rescued animal stories on YT, or war footage) because those ALWAYS evoke sadness and outrage. Got enough of that....
My favorites to see if they evoke joy in my current state are also on YT
1. People getting cochlear implants and hearing for the first time. This is my #1.
2. Adoption stories.
3. Puppies
4. motorcycle videos from favorite channels (lifelong passion, ride when I can be bothered to gather the energy to go to the garage)
I used to watch hoarders to motivate me to clean, or people sharing their WWII stories to remind myself that my life is amazing and I need to suck it up and move on. Only helped marginally... 🤷♀️
Thank you. You’re giving us such great tools for self talk. I’m a very logical person and just really need to have the right self. Talk tools to cope. Well most things I hear are unhelpful. Your advice is solid.
For me the problem with the do it anyway approach is that if I don't feel it I also lack the energy to organize myself for the action
Yes, and when I do spend what little energy I can muster on organizing myself for the action, and then I "do it anyway" with no energy left, and it turns out so badly (both process and outcome) that I would have been better off not attempting to do it, that's a problem. I'm open to ideas for solutions!
A good example of this would be when attempting to "do it anyway" results in a MELTDOWN in the middle of trying to do it. 😭
I feel the same disaster waiting to happen I burn things when I cook
Make big mess when I try then end up in tears because there is more clean up.
Then the cycle carry on the next day its the Same I never make any improvement I'm stuck can't move forward.
@@hasinapatel1233 I am so sorry. I feel your pain. Just came home from a weekend that was supposed to be really fun and I was totally shocked when it was a disaster! (Due to a health issue last Sept., and I keep WAY overestimating my new, limited capabilities.) Thanking the Good Lord that the friend I was staying with totally understood and was completely supportive. I did end up having a catastrophic meltdown when I got to her house. I really, really thought that what I had planned was well within my capabilities. Guess not. VERY thankful this one friend has superhuman compassion.
When I feel anhedonia/depression, I get SO TIRED!!! I try coffee, sugar, anything... but i just can't keep my eyes open. I fall asleep at a dining table or in the bathroom. I also have late stage COPD, so that might be part of it. Now, I sleep during the day and am awake more at night. I get so confused about the date, meals , or the times to take medication.
Omigosh! You are describing exactly what i've been experiencing for the last couple of years. Wow, i'm EXCITED to know i'm not alone. I am gaining weight, energy sucks, I try finding times i will sleep to have the energy to do something like work, housecleaning, blah😢
@cherylbogdan5044 Thank you for your comment. It's helpful for me to hear from you, too. My new problem is mice in my kitchen! The challenges do seem to pile up, laundry, mail, etc, lly in there, and I'll be trying , too. I edited because I was pretending to be cheerful, and it wasn't really how I feel.
@@cherylbogdan5044Get your thyroid levels checked this is what I have and the symptoms match. I have no motivation to do anything but sit in a chair all day... don't know if thyroid is out of balance as I keep going to Drs for test ...just fed up with being a vegetable 😢... hope you find help..
If possible you should perhaps see a doctor. Carbon dioxide retention is common in COPD and causes all of those symptoms . It can be resolved with BIPAP therapy if its appropriate. I don't know the situation you are in and Obviously it may have nothing to do with that, but if it's something that can be resolved it could well be worth it. I hope you feel better regardless because its awful to live in misery.
@thewickedpixie63 It's amazing to receive such thoughtful feedback. I'm seeing a pulmonologist this month. I have a bi-pap at night, but should wear O2 during the day, and don't. Cleaning is hard (and endless!) so the dust really gets to me. Humidity is not good, though, either! Anyway, on top of depression? Yeah, I really have to make an effort! Thanks again. Best of wishes to you. 😊
Knowing and telling yourself that this feeling will pass, that this is a blip, and you will feel differently later, has been a big help to me in the past. But currently i feel like everything is compounding to make things even more insurmountable. Hopelessness, unemployment and needing to find something new, neglecting friends and family and feeling bad about it, a perpetually messy house and endless tasks that need to be done. I can't get myself to do any of it. Disthymia and ADHD here.
Start with making your bed and cleaning your house. You will feel so much better. 👍
Same , and with aging its worse & running out of time.
I’m have a similar presentation. I like the advice to focus on actions when thoughts & feelings start tanking. Stop thinking. You know when you are half listening to someone & their words are not registering? Do that to the critical voice & the feelings. Activate the part of the trifecta, Action, that is most controllable. The 2 min tool- “I will doing my morning things for 2 min.” Do & celebrate the movements that have the least resistance. Being upright, cleaning teeth, having a tea or coffee, even just sit in morning light.
There are times when putting off thoughts & feelings- when maladaptive- can be superpowers.
I understand
I do the work because doing it and seeing ANY change, is better than no change. 😁
I watched one of your videos and went from months/years of life-draining apathy to hosting dinner parties and socialising within 4 months. I realised i was in shut down. I started to recover within 24 hours of watching it.
You are quite brilliant, Dr Scott! Thank you.
Your concept of process and outcome goals has really given me that "this is it" feeling. I have spent most of my adult life chronically depressed, and now I really feel like I know why. I'm a baby boomer, and my generation was/is very outcome focused.
get rid of all the stuff that really doesn't matter. less outcomes to worry about.
My severe depression, apathy, and anhedonia mixture feels like being in prison and this is just the way it is until the day I die and then I'll finally be out. That said, I have taken lessons from you that have helped. I'm going to take this one and perhaps I might get pardoned at some point and have will have made choices that will let me enjoy my freedom. I have no idea what that would even look like...
I also feel like my brain chemistry is a big part of my mental health struggles and that someday there will be advances that will make this time look like the dark ages in mental health. I hope I can participate when that day comes. Thank you for sticking through the hard days. It gives me hope. ♥
I so agree with your first paragraph. I'm getting to old to enjoy life even if I could find the problem.
Same here, with you! 🙏for us. ( so unbearable).
It's not just your brain chemistry. The vagus nerve and your gut health have a lot to do with it.
😭I'm in it too! The prison!
@@JustVibingFullStop how do you cope. ? I'm really not doing very well... I've called for help, ... but
Who feels this totally right now??
Me
@@stevenkovler5133 yeah
Me
@@pjlee2053 what a sad group...at least we can commiserate with each other
Me
This tip about eating healthy while you can’t taste is really great, would help also when sick too 🤔
I’ve struggled with depression off and on over the years so I’m experienced enough to know when it’s “flaring up,” and when to seek help. However, despite my intellectual understanding that apathy is a symptom of depression, I have never fully been able to overcome the internalized belief that I’m just *lazy*. Finding this video helped to remind me that it’s a false belief and that I’m not alone in this struggle.
I go to work, because others depend on my paycheck. That is the only thing I can consistently make myself do. I can’t motivate myself to do anything. Nothing is worth the effort. I eat because that is what I do when there is nothing else to do. I shower once or twice a week. I never exercise. I can’t even focus on this 20 minute video. I feel trapped in my own body. If I could give it all up I would. I wish I could be stuck on a desert island. If I couldn’t push myself constantly to survive, I would just fade away and I would be okay with that. I don’t see a time in the future when I can care about anything.
“I want the day I am capable of feeling good again to be the day I feel good again. I do not want there to be a lag time where I am capable of feeling good again but I’m not doing the things that would produce that feeling because then, it is my fault.”
This is the reframe I needed. Apathy-ception. Thank you.
Yes!
I have been in the black hole since 2020. I am working on getting out.
Don't give up honey
Apathy vs apathy, round 1, FIGHT! I like it. I have good success breaking my day up with a goal planner app and getting tiny dopamine rewards for each micro accomplishment but this is a great backup plan, thanks.
Every time I hear "til you get back to normal." These symptoms ARE my fucking normal. From my earliest memory.
This....
🍀🤗🍀✌️
Yeeeessss! WHAT IS NORMAL! And how do I tell when I'm there?
I'm being realistic, not pessimistic when I share my opinion that trauma burdened folks like myself will never be 100% healed. Right now estimate my healing journey is about 80% complete...and I still have way too much anxiety and downtime. I've learned from this channel that this is not a sign of regression, just a symptom of dealing with a very complex and demanding healing process. I have learned to place some trust in an underlying intuitive sense that I am close to my healing goal, and to ride out downtimes quickly with as little self negativity as possible. Our subconscious minds fight us right up to the moment when our reprogramming is complete. Yet as we advance, changes that become embedded act as subtle saboteurs to negative subconscious thoughts. I have gained strength in knowing that (excessive) downtimes will continue for a while longer...and that while my goal line is approaching, I may not realize I have reached it until after the fact.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you
as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not
be afraid.
Your comment is both insightful and encouraging. Thank you.
@@beverlytaylor1745 - Stay encouraged! It took all my strength to reason with myself against quitting completely, as I woke up this morning. It was not logical. It was purely emotional. Having lived on the edge of collapsing emotions for so long...keeping in "wise mind" is a challenge. It is my only hope to continue.
Thank you, from someone older who can appreciate being in a wiser mind. Godspeed. 🙏
I agree that I don't think that I will ever get totally healed.
Recovery was originally a goal of the person who was suffering from a mental health problem in the face of professionals who didn't believe they could. After a while the professionals took recovery over and then the insurance companies got hold of it and recovery became mandatory.
I really don't like having recovery shoved down my throat.
I'm 77 now and I haven't recovered yet. How much longer am I going to be expected to do that?
You truly have a gift for telling people not to be so self-centered without telling them that’s what they’re doing.
Scott, this video is SO HELPFUL! I was literally in that joyless, meaningless headspace and then listening to your self-reverse psychology I got moving!!! I am still moving!!!! Thank you! 🙏🏽🥰🙏🏽
I learn something from your videos almost every time. Thank you for your hard work! Today, however, I also had an “A-ha!” moment! You said something that cracked my defeatist mood. Without sharing too much, I’ll just say this… Instead of the “Just Do It” self-talk (that fails most of the time anyway), I’m going to change it to “Just Get It Over With!” That is something I can definitely see myself actually sticking to! So, thank you, thank you, Thank You, Dr. Eilers!!! 🤟😎🌈☮️
I went through anhedonia after I got sick. It slowly improved to where I could live again. After 10 years I finally asked for an antidepressant and my doctor put me on Wellbutrin. It was life changing. I could smile and be happy. I’m still on it and thriving, currently doing a master’s degree.
Why does this make so much sense? Yes, it's so simple but does not mean it lacks measure in how much it will help. I liken it to the simplistic Mell Robbins "Let them" rule. Let them in front of you in traffic; Let them exclude you from the invite; Let them...(fill in the blank).
This is super valuable for me. Thank you.
This is a really interesting way to think about it. I'm not sure whether it will work, but it's worth a shot. I keep thinking my mental state can't get any worse and I keep proving myself wrong. In the last week, I've been feeling this complete lack of positive emotion. Nothing works anymore. Not even the stupid, fleeting sources of instant-gratification dopamine. Even music doesn't get through to me anymore, and that's always been reliable for me. I've been ruled by my emotions (or lack thereof) for so long and I feel powerless. I think I'm at that point of "screw emotions". So I hope that's a good sign that these strategies can help me fix my life because I have nothing tf else to lose
meditating for 3 hours is curing my apathy and anhedonia. If you can sit with your pain for that long you will start to develop new nerve pathways in the brain, hormones start rebalancing. this has been a 31 year journey
Do you have a good book or link to share on this? Would like to try.
@@Nur100etc I’ll leave you a comment later, at work rn
Going to not care about not caring. Thank you. Already feels a bit of a relief.
Life changing video! I was in a episode of this 2 hours ago. I listened and my mood and day has taken a 180. Just have to finish strong. I got this! 🚀
Yes! You got this!!!!
We have to be patient for the turn!🎉
Thanks for the support! 😃
@donflo3 I go to a psychiatrist every month to assess my state of depression & anxiety. He listens and adjusts my antidepressants. He is very nice, and I feel comfortable talking to him. However, I feel much more hopeful watching Scott's video. He has a beautiful gift being able to speak to our hearts.
By far, you give the most practical, common sensical, effective, descriptions of what to do in real life when various emotions overtake us for a while. I am 71 years of age. I have interacted with many therapists over the years. I wish I met you 50 years ago. I am just so taken by your approach to living with major depression, PTSD. You are just really good. I wish I could express it better but you are really good. And thank you.
I've been having passive si the last couple weeks and most of the last 15ish years, just discovered this great channel!
@@klanderkal thank you friend
@@jansmitowiczauthor78 ⚘️
....
Are you better? Please lmk.
...
( im not handling this suffering, I don't want to live another day like this. )
This channel just adds weight to the idea that a big part of the way we solve life issues is through honest self-analysis and contemplation. Nice work, sir
I'm Bipolar, and I only recently found out that this flattening is a side effect of my medications. I'm no longer suicidal, or having random sex and spending all my money, but now I just don't care about anything. I live in a war zone, and when the rocket sirens go off I barely want to get up and walk across the street to the bomb shelter. I keep thinking "Oh well, it doesn't matter either way." The only thing that makes me truly happy is watching nature documentaries. I live in a crappy apartment, so seeing nature is good for me.
I think you're kind of amazing just because you're still here. I hope things get better.
@@nomadicam ♥
I know exactly what your going through. I was taking zoloft for depression. Then about a month into it, it started working and I felt better. But it kept going farther into.. everything's ok, so much I asked my self; how would I feel if someone died I knew, and would say that's life, we all die, and probably not shed a tear. Then I asked my self, what if it was my son? I would felt the same way too. And envision myself at his funeral and I wasnt crying. I knew that's not how its supposed to be. Its was stripping my humanity away. So I stopped taking the meds becouse my problem was mental, the meds worked and fixed things and I wasnt sure what my problems was then. So if it was mental, I was going to find a way to work it out. However I worked most of it out, I'm calling my self a high functioning depressant. I go to work and pay Bill's and had a roof over my head, but in actually I've been just hiding it from everyone. Till a few days ago, I discovered I suffer from betrayal trauma, some deep stuff that is, but I understand now all the questions answered. Yes all. I'm so relieved. Yet its gonna be a journey as these bad habits are baked into my brain and I can only mitigate it right now when they pop up, but at least I'm at a start and I hope you find the answers you've been looking for and recover from what ever is going on with you. May you find peace and love.
Dr Scot, this channel of yours is doing such a great service. We are grateful for the time and energy you put in to help us. Thank you!😊
Hi Dr Scott! I love your approach to mental health and I resonate so much with most of what you discuss here. HOWEVER , anhedonia is something that I almost never feel when I'm depressed! Is that weird?? I usually feel a deep sadness that pervades every area of life. Even "good things" have a dark lining of sadness or hopelessness when I'm depressed. There's no lack of feeling, it's an intense feeling of profound sadness.
Is this another type of depression??
I have found you to be the most lucid, helpful source of information on depression, anxiety, and so forth...and I think it is mainly from you having had to dig yourself out of your own hole. it gives authenticity to all your solutions. Thank you!
I agree.
I am so grateful to hear another adult confess they also hate vegetables! Thanks, Dr. Scott!
This video is so helpful! I love the apathyception idea and am going to use that. I wanted to share a couple tricks that I've found work for me:
- Anger/Rage cleaning. If I'm having a crappy day, or can't feel motivated to do anything useful, I'll pick a chore that I HATE doing and just do it. And let myself be angry, grumbly, whatever while doing it. Because at the end, I'll have done that shitty chore and tomorrow I'll probably be glad I did it.
- Boring/healthy food prep: keep a stash of boring-healthy food around. I like to freeze portions of lentils+veg (see dal recipes for ideas), so on days I can't think of what to eat or where I don't have energy, I can just pull one of those out, heat and eat.
Appreciate your videos so much!
I realized during therapy that if I give myself grace and do exactly what you’re saying I rebound must easier when I’m ready.
I absolutely love this “I don’t Care,that I don’t care”. I have an overcaring about s…t and I love simplicity in recreating a mental language. I giggled instantly when you said that.
Thank you for sharing your Experience,Strength and Hope
total apathy and anhedonia is my life.
Me too. 😞
Here as well.but honestly it's also a worth it as people are a holes
Yep.
@@kensurdity3840 people are a holes and the world is hell.
I couldn't get off the couch. No motivation, chronic fatigue. Thought it was depression. It was a vestibular deficit - an inner ear problem affecting balance, etc. Apparently I've been living with it for years. Saw multiple therapists and psychiatrists. Only one suggested that I get my ears checked. That one is a genius. Get checked out people!
Also, those process goals often have other positive side effects - walking strengthens the immune system, saving that money even though spent on house repairs still 'saves' you that 8,000 that would have been taken anyway. Thank you Dr Scott. :) (and I'm surprised that a therapist actually speaks of their own 'apathyception' and in doing so actually helps us others!).
Well, I guess one good thing about the algorithm is it led me here! Grateful to have found you. Even after two videos, I already feel better. I've stayed single for 9 yrs; Fought a good fight, But I don't think ive struggled more until this year. I'm trying to change my mindset from " I hate everything, but Im Grateful " to " I love my beautiful mess".
Yep. I need help
Thank you.
I'm a brain injury survivor. I've lost so much... Everything really. Now everything is better than I ever imagined, but I just can't make myself participate in life. I'm in Ketamine therapy and it is helping a bit. I recently had to go back to weekly doses instead of every 2 weeks.
Thank you for your chanel It helps me beyond words! I have an adult son, 26 years old, with Schizoeffective disorder with bipolar. It can be a dark journey for him as well as me. You have given me education, help, hope and strength to keep going and I have been able to pass those benefits on to my son. Thank you so very much. Keep it up!!
My life was strongly structured around goals for a good life, and moving towards them, even if my emotions resisted now and then. This approach got me a wife, 3 kids, succeessful career, and nice stuff. Winning on most scorecards. Then my wife has an affair, the world goes crazy over covid, and I stopped getting out of bed. For two years I have been pinned down by apathy, and anhedonia. I wish my former way of living worked for me today. I hope others can put Scott's perspectives and advice to good effect.
Keep doing those things you did. You can get those things again. I think of a man who lost everything…wealth, wife, children to a horrific violent crime. He got lots of therapy, kept taking it one step at a time. He is remarried, has children & rebuilt his life. He said one step, one day, one moment at a time. Live in the moment. Appreciate the present. It has a purpose, even if painful. The pain doesn’t have to be the biggest thing forever.
You're a life saver Dr. Scott. Thanks for sharing this with the world so simply and kindly!
I can literally sleep 12-16 hours a day. Of course thyroid levels, iron, vitamin D have been checked. If I sleep 7, 9 or 12 hours - I am tired.
OMG 😱! Me too! I hate this shit! I'm on levothyroxine and still feel tired and just want to sleep!
I just discovered your channel last week. Your videos have been a huge help during a time of major life transitions and overwhelming changes for me. Thank you. 🙏💜
i hate and love that it always comes down to just do the thing
Thank you for sharing such insightful strategies for managing apathy and anhedonia. Your personal experiences and practical advice are incredibly valuable to many.
This is a revelation to me, I have just realised that this is what I have been doing most of my adult life...
I feel like most days I'm just tired of being tired & you are so right. Those things that you powered through will have some kind of payoff at a later time...❤ I needed this today. Thank you.
Why do so many people feel this way? Why so many?
Blessings and love from Florida...
🙏🌍🕊🕊
Think it’s partly high ACES.
@@mommaninja51 ACES? What does that mean?
the world is a very messed up place for very many people.
Biology and environment
I swear your videos just come at the exact perfect time I need them. Thank you for all the extremely helpful information you share on this channel!
Holy shit how did he know?? I swear this is the exact phase I am going through right now... Mind reader
Jake I have watched your channel from when you were a garden content creator. I am so happy for you that you have found peace and happiness. You could tell that back then you were missing something in your life and now you have found it. Happy the babies and nicole are happy and healthy.
I lived much of my life doing this because I had no choice (a child to raise). Once child was raised and gone it was actually harder because no reason. And what he’s saying here now really helps so much.
Loved this. It took years before I realized the one guarantee was that the anhedonia was temporary. After that i was empowered to develop the most advantageous behaviors no matter my mood. Well described and rings so true! Thank you! ❤
Im stuck Scott, now for at least seven years. Both ways medicated or not and at 61 my life is whizzing by at an alarming rate. Im scared man. Chronic pain daily. No hope in sight.
No one has ever said words that speak to both my mind and emotions, as smoothly and as effectively as you do, Dr. The help I get here is priceless. Thank you!
I have routines. I follow those routines. As long as i follow those routines, everything stays stable. I know the dark times will come. I try to plan for that, as much as i can.
You are the first person I have ever heard describe exactly how I operate in life. I am now on the road of self acceptance and have realistic strategies to try. I can’t thank you enough.
I think the reason for wanting to spend the $10 is that often, buying something you want is pleasant and exciting. If you feel apathetic, those are enticing feelings and the hope is that by spending the $10, you'll get them. It's easy to forget that in those circumstances the purchase is often disappointing.
The way you described having process goals and the difference between those and outcome goals is so helpful. Thank you! When I'm in the black hole, which I describe as the basement of my psyche, my process goals often feel like I'm just going through the motions. Now I really see how going through the motions is a really supportive thing, and not something I need to judge as not good enough.
When I’m depressed I feel pronounced anger when I try to do the things.
I've been finding your videos very helpful. Thank you.
This video and it's Chinese fortune cookie advice furthers my belief that we're doomed and that makes me sad.
I think being sad is an appropriate response to doom. It allows me to appreciate what I have today.
This video was exactly what i needed. Currently working on managing my apathy in therapy this week and this was the exact insight i needed. Thank you so much
I have been in this state constantly for about 7 years now ... Believing that it won't last forever is pretty hard at this point.
"massive lifestyle deficit" says it all! Im going back to stacking boxes I just wanted to thank you for these tiny yet huge bites of reality. Your thought provocative videos have helped me to start shaking off the rust in cracks of my mind so that i can get to welding it back together. Oh, and i love your anologies. I have a cartoonist in my mind (when my mind is ecen fired up these days but again: stacking boxes) this cartoonist keeps a running, darkly comical commentary of the world around me and this cartoonist in my mind can run with your anologies and really absorb your point.
This is exactly what I am going through for the last 3 years 😢.
My husband broke his neck and had a TBI, and was in the hospital for 460 days. Then my cat died4yr. Old male- sudden kidney failure. Then my house flooded, and they found asbestos. I spent 1 year in a hotel. My 16 yr.old cat passed away on my pillow. Got home to stolen property and broken furniture! Filed a police report. They came back to my garage and took a bat to my classic Trans Am. I have to clean & move everything myself. I have lost my husband of 41years, and we were married @17! I am lost. Stuck. Not able to get anything done but cry..😪 . How do I restore my heart ❤️? My life? Help!
♥️
I’m so sorry you have gone through so much in such a short time. I hope there is something that can bring meaning to your life so you have something to anchor yourself too while you work through the grief. ❤😢
Big deep hug, sister.
@tinareynolds2938 thank you..I am praying 🙏 for something! Alot of therapy in the mean time.
🙏✨️
Doc you have no idea how much your videos are helping me through, may the universe bless you!
It took me a hot minute to process your statement about “binging on goldfish”… I had a confusing mental image I couldn’t quite understand. 😂
Obviously that’s not all I took from this.
I like your idea about continuing to do things that are good for you even when you don’t really care…but I feel it takes a certain strength to recognise that choice in the moment. Hopefully having it pointed out will serve as a reminder next time anhedonia hits.
Also - I’m quietly shocked that someone who appears as physically healthy as you do has an aversion to vegetables. I’m using all my willpower not to suggest a million ways to make them taste better. 😂