This One Thing Made Them Love You Twice As Much
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- Опубліковано 20 сер 2023
- This One Thing Made Them Love You Twice As Much. If you want to repair a relationship, you must focus on the skills that attracted someone to you. When people do things to turn someone off, Attraction is often at a very low point (especially after a break up) so you must do everything you can to minimize anything that will turn them off further. You must really focus on what you do/did to make them fall in love with you to begin with.
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Friends will always give advice contrary to their own actions 😅
I still find it difficult to revisit that horrible experience of feeling so abandoned and worthless. thank you for making this channel 🙏
The person needs to REALLY prove themselves if they want you back. I’m not saying they have to get on their hands and knees literally….but almost 😂
I am now a whole person that doesn't get clobbered. With your help on this show.
I lost my twin when we turned 32. It completely changed who I am. My ex was significant in helping me move through the process and the subsequent years to follow. That made me love him twice as much. After the break up of 30 years with this ex, on my birthday and the anniversary of my twins passing, he reached out to say he was thinking about me and my family. I was honored. I let him know he is still a part of our family.
Right now, I am in no contact. I still have hope that there will be an epiphany on his part, that he'll realize how big our love is and how good it is to have a partner to count on.
as for loss, I feel, it's not something we get over. somehow we learn to live with it.
This spoke to me so much, I’m just realizing that my ex is a fearful avoidant and that I was going about things in the wrong manner. I needed this today, thank you!
Thank you for all your help Coach. I’ve been watching your videos since 2018.
I really appreciate all your videos. I really like all of Victoria's input. I feel she's very inciteful. I found your channel shortly after I started healing my attachments and its nit easy but worth it. Thanks for all you do!
Hey Craig and Victoria,
What a great video. It brought a tear to my eye too, to hear the quality of this relationship and how she was working through it. Just such great advice and comments from both of you. I’m going through a similar situation with my ex but we are BOTH going through real rough times in our lives.
It’s so wonderful seeing you work together. I’ve been listening to and watching your channel for 3 years. I’ve learnt to much and been soothed so many times through the toughest patches. Yes, I’m one of those who listen to you to get through an anxious sleepless night. I absolutely loved/ do love Margaret and miss her but thank god her presence and wisdom is there for all of us in recorded form. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the important work you do. Helping people become the best versions of themselves in the life learning arena of relationship. Love from N.Z
2 months after i met my ex,her father had an car accident and he was in a hospital for the next 2 or 3 months.The night that happened and i heard about it,i went looking for her at the hospital,went all the city on foot to be with her.I was there for her the whole time,when her relatives seemed to go crazy and kept telling her "oh,he won't survive..".Her father allmost completely recovered,she broke up with me a month ago and it seems she forgot all about the hard times i was next to her.Don't know what to think anymore😢
I've been there when you give so much then they let you go with no answers. Makes it so hard to trust or be willing to give in future relationships.
@@rwentfordable meantime,i lost all my hope,but i'm reaaly fine.Even if she'd try to come back,i can't forgive her for all i've been trough these 2 months and absolutelly can't stand the fact that while i was in crushing pain she was with another dude and did with him everything she did with me.She and this guy are at their 5th try,where there were 5 breakups between them,there's a huge chance there's 6th coming soon enough.I hope she won't reach out to me then,cuz she'll have the worst in me.
I’m so sorry . On such a small scale , my sister was dying and when she died I had trouble and everyone left me. Now I see other women with flaws too being adored. Thanks .
I love what you are doing. This kind of lesson is great. Thank you so much.
My x and I did get back together after 7 months one day he just showed up with his bags he acts like nothing ever happened but I still feel some kind of way idk why I’m feeling this way he is treating me a 100 percent better
Didn’t I just say that’s what exes do? 🤣
Did you went NC for the past 7 months????
Was he in a rebound? Mine is
I'm curious if all this holds true while they are moved on with someone else?
@@terribickford2228 I know he was staying with his dad
Wonderful Achievement. Thank for sharing. Please keep going further . I am waiting for your next content dear.
It’s been 4 weeks, he still hasn’t contacted me. So now I know he never cared or loved me the way I cared and loved him. I have to move on. I loved him unconditionally. But his love for me was full of judgement. I had to be perfect!
I hear you I'm the same I loved him warts and all however he was very critical and eventually I thought enough of this. I'm just under a week with no contact, had a good cry last night but feel strong today and have booked a makeover as a treat
@@dawnrobinson8243
Girl, he’ll come back! Remain no contact! He ended up reaching out. But I don’t want him back no more so I ignored
Well i hope u got him back since it's been 5 months since you wrote this...Actually 4 weeks is not enough. Usually it takes 2 to 4 months at least for many people to reflect. Remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint. But one way or the other you will move on!! Wish u the best, you got this!
@@alex_6911
He came back. Multiple times. Fake profiles & everything… I ignored. Didn’t want him back
@@alex_6911
He came back. Multiple times. Fake profiles & everything… I ignored. Didn’t want him back
I watch your videos and I am glad to find you but in the end of the day practical nothing change .
If they miss you or not , if they think about all these moments or not finally doesn’t matter . Practical nothing change , you are still totally strangers , separated…. I don’t know if make sense for us to think , even know with some way that dumpers miss us or the way we treat them . We can’t detach if we think with this way
As Robert Greene said in the Art of Seduction, “Love can only grow in your absence.”
Isn't that thinking kinda toxic though?
@@hipnhappenin explain your reasoning why it would be toxic. It is toxic if you do this in a relationship (e.g. stonewalling, ghosting, radio silence, etc.).
@@Gbb93 Maybe I'm misunderstanding the quote. I'm reading it as someone's love for you can only grow when they have a chance to experience life without you and miss you. That to me is not healthy (toxic was kinda a strong word) and not sustainable.
@@hipnhappenin how is that toxic in any way? It’s true. People really fall in love when they miss you.
You can’t be around someone all the time. And sometimes it’s better to have some space.
If they break up with you, give them the experience of life without you. Completely.
Sounds like a lofty promise.
You hit the mail on the head with the friends and family comment
I am in the same exact situation. Went no contact and she called spilling her guts saying similar things in just 3 weeks. They don’t truly want to leave. It is a real situation where “it’s not you it’s me” is actually true. Patience will pay off. Eventually they will need someone they can trust and lean on.
We are the ones that they eventually understand that will lead them out of the dark after they get help.
My ex is in therapy and it’s making her realize who I was for her. I’m so proud of her.
My avoidant ex told me a couple weeks ago how he loves that I’m the only one who laughs at his jokes. Lol after all I do for him that’s what he remembers.
As dumb as it sounds, that actually means alot to us men lol
Since he is avoidant, that probably means that’s him trying to tell you you’re really special to him but doesn’t want to be too vulnerable. Laughing isn’t vulnerable. Make sense?
P.s this goes with my message down below 👇 I’ve had abandonment issues since I was a young girl my dad always left & came back & growing up dating most men did the same ( just thought I shouldn’t leave that out)
can you make a video about when an ex drunk calls? mine left about 6 drunk voicemails after 6 months of no contact.
Been 38 days now. And I’ve been as tempted to message as I’ve been this entire No Contact.
I’ve been gyming. Been studying. Been working on my communication. And I genuinely do *feel* as though I’ve come a long way - already. Still a long way to go.
But yea, I am very, very tempted to reach out. Such a struggle man
Do the Creative Healing Course or The Knowledge Workbooks 30 minutes a day!!
It's been exactly 38 days for me too. I wrote a text this morning but never sent it. Everything seems to be pointless without them.
@@kyleharr10 I typed one yesterday and never sent it!! 🤣 Crazy man!
@BoneThxgz haha that's wild. I wish the pain would just go away. Seems like women can just have their breaking point and stop caring in the blink of an eye.
@@kyleharr10 if this is true, I wish I was one of them 🥺 right now my avoidant ex doesnt even care. Maybe your exes are avoidant???
Yes it's nice when we can try to remain so caring and understanding for others but this does not mean to tolerate abuse or any form of mistreatment, if you entertain people that do that to you, it is only inviting more of that abusive behavior. I have a friend that has some issues and when he starts to get passive aggressive or manipulative.. I take more space away from him and sometimes I think that I will never go to talk to him again, but I do still sometimes check in with him and we share some exchange, sometimes that's all it takes is to give them a space and time, now don't get crazy lol I'm not homosexual but a little kindness can sure go a long way. sometimes it may be the very thing that can help them save their own lives.
just call me Margaret Jr lol, well maybe no one compares to Margaret Sinead O'Connor. Yes I have been learning from/ with you guys quite a bit. and loving it
Am in the same position with my ex
Craig if im the one who made the mistake and it's been a month of no contact is there is a chance of her coming back
Craig I feel like I have all the answers now I've done all the work I did the healing course. I dis the be a master in relationships videos. I've learned everything I need to learn. the problem isn't my anxiety the problem is the sadness. Even though I'm nearly perfect now how do I get over the sadness of not being with my ex. Still waiting on her
Time heals everything. Today is exactly 1 year since my specific one blocked me. And Im still blocked. In the meantime I learned ftom my mistakes, grew to a better person, seeking for my success, carrer, my dream job etc.. also I hang out with new people, female friends, etc.. After a year I still didnt forget her, but I feel detached from her and feel much better in my skin. If it's destined for us to be together in the future, we will be. If not, then everybody will go for themselves, she probably with another guy and me probably with another girl.
I so get you... I am in the same place right now. I accepted he no longer wants to be with me. I never chased him, let him go and went NC to heal. But I miss him every single day and wonder whether this feeling of sadness will ever pass...
Please, help me what to do he lift me 😢
He had a good girl for sure. My step brother unalived himself rigtht when i started dating my ex. My ex was real sweet about it for about 6 weeks then expected me to get over it. He would get mad at me when i talked about him so i just quit talking about it. He caused so much stress i never got to focus on grieving. My ex was an alcoholic at the time so im hoping thats not really who he is because it wasnt good. I broke up with him because there were so many bad thigns he did and said while drinking that no matter how nice he was after he got sober i just couldn't get over the past. He literally told me i should be thanking him for listening to me (about my brother) 🙄
That’s a narcissist
@@asher6047 I agree
Your timeline for grief will take as long as it takes. He obviously didn’t respect that.
My ex and I had been together for 5 months when his father passed away. He broke up with me 1 week later... He expressed doubts about his decisions 2 days later, but he didn't change his mind. We went in no contact for a month. He still liked my pictures of Facebook, but I didn't reach out. Lately, he's been sending me songs we often listened to when we were together, and nothing much else. It's hard, I don't know how to respond. It seems like he's thinking of me, but he doesn't want to talk much. It's a weird situation...
It’s pretty clear he wants to get back together
Hey Coach. If i was dumped, should I use social media to make a post the odd time or should i be totally silent on social media?
Radio silence. It’ll drive him nuts.
@@disorder_goit depends
Nah I wouldn’t use radio silence. I’d post very very rarely. Make it quality instead of quantity. And if you want to spice it up, make sure it’s mysterious. You want them to wonder if you’re with someone. Don’t watch theirs though.
Edit: never tag the person if you’re with someone
Hey coach Craig! Where do i send you guys a success story? I'm currently doing the creative healing course and im wondering where I can send my success story when I am at the point where I am fully healed and ready to move on. I promise that it will happen!
How do you like The Creative Healing Course? There’s an email on the front page of my website!
@CoachCraigKenneth So far, I'm really enjoying it! Especially the art therapy and the animated videos. But currently, I'm halfway through section 2, and the first 2 sections involved a refresher of attachment theory which Im all to familar of but its nice to have a refresher. I'm hoping later on in the course I'll be able to start focusing on healing my anxious attachment to a secure one!
Not possible for me.
Why
There is a guy who is on here does what you do and if this girl would haven given him this story he would say that the guy isn't interested even if granny fell down the stairs , idk if he's being a jerk , or just want to hurt people's feelings i honestly don't believe that's true you have to be selfish , horny , disgusting*ss to think this way honestly in this situation i don't think she stands a chance unless she completely pulls her energy away and he eventually longs for her and he makes the initiative because in my opinion I felt like she was being pushy and asking questions where he couldn't give her an answe to and i feel like yes he notice the qualities but i feel he used to it to his advantage to be nice i could never ever expect for him to give me an answer especially at a time like that no way i would def. Pull away until he felt better and let him doing the reaching out also involving friends and family too ! That's very immature and just find a way for her to initiate any type of convo . W/ him this story was annoying me ! Lol
I think you’re talking about mindful attraction 2.0 giving that advice 😂😂😂 you’re right, I think his advice applies to non-committal player type men, not necessarily genuine, honest guys with integrity
Everyone deals with difficulties and stresses in life differently and its arrogant to assume or expect someone to drop everything when they’re struggling , just to reassure you and make you feel better - I speak from experience as someone who ‘pestered’ my guy whilst he’s going through a very difficult time in his life (very poor mental health) and realised how selfish it was. I simply assured him that I’m here for him after he asked me to be patient with him and bear with him as he navigates this. I pulled back and just wait for him to reach out when he has the emotional bandwidth
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This gurl was very selfish and self absorbed. He was grieving his dead brother for god sakes. She didn’t even offer empathy or sympathy. She doesn’t deserve him
This lady sounds kinda selfish and the guy is a sweetheart. Just support him how he needs help 😅
Sounds like you've never been in a relationship like this at all. It's tough when the other person is really distant and doesn't tell you and so you're not sure. She only knew for sure AFTER she blew up a little at him and he told her.
Then she was able to support him. How is that selfish of her at all?
@@Gnomesmusher it sounds like you don't think she has acted selfishly at all. I understand that. My perspective is that the approach was at least a little selfish in the relationship.
The guy was struggling and wanting to be alone. She made it about her needs in the relationship and demanded it from HIM, when he was trying to prioritize it differently. In this description, it felt like she was focused on "me," not "us" or "him."
Everyone chooses their moments to push, and sometimes things work out. I just believe the motive in the approach was a little selfish to force communication skill development in that moment.
@@fitforfreelance You still don't seem to get it. The guy wanted to be alone yes. But he did NOT make that clear. He just drifted away without a word.
Look, I'm not blaming him at all either. He went through some shit. But to call the girl selfish? I don't get that at all.
@@Gnomesmusher oh I get it. I listened to the reasoning she gave. Maybe he was being selfish. Perhaps it was a simple miscommunication or undeveloped skill. My comment is my opinion, yours is different. Different approaches will work for different people. Thanks!
@@fitforfreelance At least you're open to the possibility that he was being selfish. I still think you're wrong for blaming it all on the woman though.
But I think all love is selfish in a way. Sometimes we do selfless things in the name of love but deep down it's actually sefishness. You're doing those things to make yourself feel better not just because it helps the one you love.