He's full of crap. Look ladies this is what I do. I tell you if I'm not interested in a relationship BEFORE I sleep with you. Trouble is twofold. A lot of guys do it AFTER they sleep with you (since they dont want to risk missing out on sex). Also, Women dont push for the info. Thats the solution. dont sleep with a guy you like, until you know for sure.
Men also need to take them down from the pedestals they put the on and ask the HARD questions, like Besides your body and beauty, sex mainly, which you ALREADY know I want, what ELSE do you bring to the table?? Do you really really believe in equality, and what does it means to you in practical terms, or is it just an ideology you use when it suits you?? Am I your first choice or are you still paining for Chad from your past?? What are my realistic chances of having sex with you soon, or will you string me along to keep that sexual tension, and find out more about me, so I'll have to keep being good and you won't find out anyhow until AFTER we have sex?? How much would you like me if I told you the worst of me?? ... but [always a but] , if men did this we never get laid, so that examination comes later. Men know what women want to hear, there Disney fantasy movies they have watched all there lives... so we accommodate. Women know what the MAIN reason men approach them is, and they also pretend they don't fully know it, and use it to the max. "Like me for me" is meaningless at the beginning.
I actually disagree with this statement. Unless he means later in the relationship, which he did not clarify. My male friends tell me they ran away from women because on the first or second date they shot off "You want to marry in your future? Because i want to.", "Do you want kids?". Wth? That sounds so neurotic!
*I feel like every woman needs to have an experience of when the guy likes you more than you like him, so that she can see what a man who is interested and pursues looks and acts like.*
I thinks thats usually the case but alot of those guys don't exactly register in alot of womens field of vision when they come. Might not have any game Might not be very handsome Might be not talk very loud Behaviorally They may seem a little tense May be excessively palliative Or very quiet. May not be good at talking to women A liitle too Eager to help May give you compliments (Compliment is not game at all) May go out of their way to make conversation with you.( Convrsation you may not even want to have.) Very attentive. These guys who probably like you more than anybody else are most likely friends of yours or trying to be friends to get closer to you because they understand if you don't have a connection its going to be no. Male friendship with women can often be motivatd by attraction but please understand character matters.....how they act as a friend is not necessarily the same as a boyfriend so you should reflect on their relationships if you go for one of your friends. For most women its actually relatively easy to turn a male friend into a boyfriend. But the girl usually says something to the effect of not wanting to ruin the friendship because in some ways they SOMETIMES unknowingly use that male friend as a dependable non obligatory source of male attention/interaction and validation when theyre feeling low. Girls used to do that with me all the time because talking to me made/makes them feel good but they don't realize their doing it. They'd literally be all over me in private and in public. And there is the infamous "I wish all guys were like you"....which the natural response is......"I'm a guy like me" as I'm usually single when they say this shit to me😂😂😂 I called the bluff but nothing came😂. If you are afraid of ruining the friendship understand your relationship should be similar to your friendship just with some extras. Issues come when you make things more complicated than they need to be.
@@jugular911 attraction is still important otherwise theyre settling and they May not appreciate the guy like they should ..... nobody deserves to be treated like someones doing them a favor by talking to them. I've also already said what you have said in my comment.
@@mauricionovae8484 So they're hoping for a hot, rich, tall, muscular, Chris Hemsworth lookalike who is desired by many other women, but who only pursues her. When she's only average herself. That's a fantasy and never going to happen. Well, at least Matthew Hussey and other dating coaches make millions off idiots like these women! I might start my own dating business promising women this fantasy man. I could make millions because women are so gullible.
@@jugular911 You're projecting general beliefs. I understand and I used to think that because alot of girls think they want that but its not all true. I know better now because I HAD TO. You have to see every woman as herself because you lose perspective when you get general. Women want: a man they can respect. They want a man with perspective. A man who can make them feel something. A man that Doesn't lower himself to elevate her. A man they can admire and each woman admires a man for SOMETHING other than his utility, validation, or financial status. They want to watch you be great in some area they value and the area depends on the girl thats why you have to understand who you're talking to. Unlike us women don't exactly say what they really mean...like they mean it at the time but not on an internal level. So the thing is to figure out what she likes about you and not what she says she likes about you. A man who can communicate without reacting emotionally because two emotional people will clash and women are hard wired to feel. You need to be unshakable because if they can move you they can control you and if they can control you then subconsciously she wont respect you. Not tommention she has her own feelimgs to deal with and we as guys SEVERELY underestimate the effects emotions have on women. They want a man they can trust with their life. Somebody they can talk to about anything without being judged. Keep your word. Do what you say. And most importantly they need you to not need them. You need to be willing to walk any second No threats or ultimatums because thats emotional manipulation. If you gonna do that shit just do it. And you dont come back. But when you do it NEVER leave them in a bad financial situation they can't handle.
I’ve spent three and a half years around a man who just didn’t know what he wanted. I, on the other hand, wanted him 1000%, all of the time. Well, finally, I had to accept that no matter what, this man simply didn’t want me enough. I couldn’t hang around anymore so I left with all the grace i could master. Heartbreaking, but I didn’t think it was right to keep company with someone who simply didn’t want me.
Props for not settling. It's not easy to be the one who walks away when you've invested time, but sometimes, our downfall is that we don't walk away sooner.
I’m so proud of you. I’ve been there and picked up and left… now… he’s trying to get back in my life. Stand your ground. Be your own best friend first and compliment yourself on doing what was in your best interest. ~N
Do not enter the world of doubt. When people aren't sure of their emotions, commitment or desire toward you. Stay clear of them. It can be the ultimate clash and/or crash of your life. Choose self love 1st.
I have been told this by men. They say this because they don't want to be subjected to a list of conditions and requirements from the woman. If a man says "I want a serious relationship", some women see that as an invitation to vomit their personal demands on them. "Oh but you said you wanted serious, so now you must visit my mother every weekend, and let me check your phone, and never talk to any other woman again". I have also learnt from personal experience that if you don't demand from them, they will want to stick around because they feel free, respected and appreciated in what they do decide to give. Whatever the initial non-committed intentions are, they sometimes change.
@@bronkonovak6555 I've read his book and interpret it as advice to stop someone from wasting all their time, energy and emotions trying to make it work with a narcisistic type who was never going to commit to them anyway. If someone is inconsiderate, disrespectful, makes minimum effort and shows no signs of commitment you're likely being used but can't see it and are scared of losing them because you like them so much. You shouldn't hang on desperately trying to make it work. Instead invest in someone you like who is kind and considerate and also invests their time, energy and emotions in you. That way you're far more likely to meet someone who you could have a loving long term relationship with. 😀
I think I just did that today - not intentionally though. I was very polite for a change, but made it clear I’m moving on, because he simply didn’t want me enough. There’s no point being around people who don’t value you. Just move on. It’s easier said than done, but it has got to be done, otherwise you may end up losing all your sense of self-worth and your sanity.
@@BambiOnIce19 & be Safe and aware when leaving buy thinking will they do the unthinkable & kidnap kids , set u up like Amber heard did Jonny , don’t underestimate people’s ability to completely blindside you .
@@RoddyPipersCorneas You shouldn't evaluate quotes like that outside of context. The point is that there are often no real consequences in dating from the person that invests. It's all talk. No action. Ruthless talk and no or kind action. And this is realized quickly by the other side. It's basicly a free ticket to treat you badly again. But many of those situations that lead to ruthless talk and no action are actually really big red flags. So leave. For honest. Make it the other persons task to fight for your relationship. "He or she cheated on me, so I'm going to fight harder for our relationship" creates a real bad precedence and is a surefire sign for disaster. "She or he cheated on me, I'm not interested any more UNLESS he fights his way back into this is much smarter." Or much more common: He or she says that he or she is not interested in a serious relationship. Some people talk upset and hope that he or she will change his or her mind and start justifying sleeping with him or her in order to up their chances. And some will just say "okay, I understand" and walk away.
I started to see someone and noticed negative behaviors. Emotionally, I didn’t want to end it because it felt good when we were together. But when I asked myself “does this bring peace or take away my peace?” I knew exactly what I needed to do. Trying to date for two years post divorce I have yet to meet a man who doesn’t expect me to fill a void or in a round about way ask “what can you do for me.” It’s exhausting so I’ve stopped looking. When I got to bed at night and snuggle my pup and my little girl, that’s all the love and abundance I need. Would it be nice to have someone to share that with? Of course, but unfortunately quality is hard to find and I need to protect what I do have. I would rather be alone than compromise my boundaries or expectations. Welcome to 2022.
Same girl. I started dating after two years of being single, had plenty of options but I really tried to pick carefully. Ended up picking a guy that was just interested in sex. I mean, OK but it was the lies and future faking that made me finish it. I was also doing all the legwork, paying for everything, I couldn't go to his house, never invited me anywhere and I just decided that I was making far much more effort. I'm happy with myself to be honest, my old self would have kept flogging the dead horse, but I finished it and I'm happy I respected myself. Love to you and stay strong, God has a plan for us all xxxx
What is wrong in asking you "what can you do for me?". What can you actually do for them? Or you think you shouldn't be doing anything. What is negative about somebody asking you how will you take care of their needs? I have no idea what expectations you have as a single mother with also a pet involved. You are not really going to attract the best men out there who have their options. I think you have to really find some humility first and really assess where you are placed on the dating market and be realistic about it. So, it's not about that quality is hard to find, it's just that quality men will not really pick somebody in your situation. I know the reality of this is sad and maybe unfair, but that is how life goes.
@@Alnivol666 Nothing, if the question is being asked is also reciprocated. It’s a shame you’re looking at your assumptions of a situation and passing judgement on what is quality and what is not. None of us are clean slates, and many of us aren’t interested in the ‘Market’ mentality.
@@mrm-888 Just because none of us are clean slates, you think that means what exactly? I really have issues with people thinking their decisions in the past and sometimes in the present should not carry the weight that they do.
@@Alnivol666 asking that question sounds like you are looking for a good business deal, looking for an employee. Are you looking for a live-in chef, housekeeper, assistant, therapist, hostess, financial investor, PR manager etc? This does not ellicit romantic feelings in a single soul. It kind of stabs the idea of love in the chest. Simply put. Asking this you immediately reveal yourself as a selfish user.
And, it’s important to understand this for partners who are decent people who don’t necessarily “mistreat” but cause you unhappiness and don’t understand how there’s something wrong in their behaviour. My problem has been these types of people I attract & then finding it difficult to break away because they’re not ‘bad’ people.
When I met my now fiancé, right from the start there was ZERO anxiety in me in relation to him or us, ZERO doubts that he was REALLY interested, and he was completely open and consistent from day one. Incredible - and we're still going strong. I am 46 and he is 51. I stayed single for 14 years because I never wanted to settle; I wanted the high-quality man I deserved and who would be truly compatible in every way... I am beyond happy that I waited. Never settle... Much love to all. Xxx
YOU GOTTA BE CAREFUL OF THE GUYS WHO ASK A TON OF QUESITONS ABOUT YOU TOO!!! trust me on this. that dosnt garantee they are genuinely into you. It means they know it makes you feel seen and you are going to feel flattered and charmed by them! Also, they know if they keep the attention on you they don't have to reveal as much about themselves!
...yeah but little do they know you're gonna make 'em wait at least 90 days before even considering to have sex with them...they drop like flies, LOL..... ;)
@@HiddenHandMedia They perhaps meant well, but temptation overwhelmed them. Goal is to not put oneself in position to fail. Takes a LOT of willpower....
And my experience vouches for it. People aware of their masculine energy will express it. My first relationship, the guy was self aware enough to know he was selfish and runs after people when interested and drops them if he loses interest. It was a red flag, and then 2 months later it happened. Same with a female friend who has very masculine energy. Didn't have time for people going through treatment resistant MH issues and left with very cruel words. But we all learn the learnings 😊
MY NOTES FROM THIS PODCAST: 3:03 One of the reasons why women are settling for the wrong person is because the lack of choice. 6:14 Attention does not mean intention. 27:56 If someone is telling you something that would make their life more difficult, then that's probably true. 31:46 Signs that a guy likes you. 34:43 People have to be brave enough to ask questions that they are afraid of the answers too. 40:59 What did I used to do for you but don't do now that you wish I should do? Ask this question to your partner to know their attraction/love switches or what turns them on. 44:14 What gives you money in the bank to go and have a difficult conversation with someone, is what you have been doing in the weeks/ months leading up to it. Thank you.
Never settle for less than you’re worth. Matthew is legit, I’ve been watching his videos for a while and I met the love of my life and was able to demand respect from him & win his heart by staying in my power & having self-respect.
@@hardcorepreparation6740 You should just give a clear sign of interest... You don’t need to plan the first date if you don’t want to! That’s what I did to make him notice me and to see If he was interested in me. I just decided to go talk to him and to write him one time aftewards. He did the rest!
Going back to the All days with a guy picked up the handkerchief even before that to biblical days it said a man who finds a wife finds a good thing I don’t like the new woman who gets on her knees and ask for his hand in marriage never chase a man not saying that I don’t approve of a strong woman who knows what she wants and goes for it however keep the testosterone level down ladies estrogen always wins a sweet cookie
My ex was like that... initially he wanted commitment in the form of me moving countries (we live in the same continent but two different countries) and starting a business with him after 2.5 years. I didn't move permanently (chose to spend 6 months instead every year) because I am still a little old-fashioned and don't want to disrespect my parents and grandparents...also moving and settling into another country is no joke...I needed to know that I would get total support and love from him. So we thought about a business... rather he chose a business and told me to do it. Initially I was only "allowed" to do its marketing...then when his mum couldn't do the cooking (the business idea was selling cooked chicken), he turned to me and emotionally blackmailed me to do it. I didn't do it...I did the marketing and everything that I could despite not having any product to work with but I told him that I'll cook with him...that didn't happen. And then 1.5 years later, he gave me several reasons as to why we can't continue our relationship - reasons such as I don't listen to him (I once drove over a glass bottle by mistake and he has held onto that), I haven't lost as much weight as he'd like me to (apparently when he first met me he got so depressed that he started drinking and smoking heavily), I haven't moved there permanently (and we follow the same culture and religion), I haven't started a business with him, I don't help him, everything I do is for myself and my happiness solely...and then two days later, his reasons changed...he said that because of his past relationships with his mother, sister and ex's...he cannot trust women anymore and that I deserve better and he doesn't want to take away my happiness. I have never felt so betrayed and so lost and shocked. Oh and this was a 4 year relationship... and every year he broke up with me...the first three years his reasons were that I didn't move there permanently and my weight. He is the only man who has managed to break my heart, my positivity, my strength and my spirit. The lesson I've learnt is that when a man breaks up with you...no matter how perfect he may be...leave. Because that's just a precursor of what's to come.
Roshni Peshavaria Yup--- he probably was never loved unconditionally and became a border line /narcissist as a defense mechanism. People like that are broken and stuck in their shadow side. It it takes self awareness and spirituality to bring them to a place of self love. Consider yourself lucky you did not get stuck in a marriage with children with him. I suggest you watch videos by soul gps or sam vaknin or richard grannon and many others to understand the gaslighting you went thru so you can heal your heart, grow stronger , love yourself more and attract a person who love you unconditionally . ❤️🙏🏻❤️
@@lisaariottiart thank you so so much.❤️ You're absolutely right. And I will most definitely watch videos from those people/channels you have recommended.❤️❤️ Anything that will help me move forward and take back the power I lost, I'll take with open arms...thank you so much. You don't know how much this means to me.❤️😌
I told myself, "Find someone who blends in the life that you want and the one who looks at you like you're some kind of magic!" I didn't go desperately looking for someone though, I just let it happen.😘
My mom told me not to look for it. When you least expect it, it happens. That has been true with some of my relationships. Of course they haven't worked out too well in the past,but I think this guy im seeing, is the one. It'll just take some time for the relationship to flourish since e has been through so much.
I’m never afraid to ask the hard questions, because I value my time. The answer I receive is usually angry, as they don’t want to be asked hard questions lol. So basically, their anger is my answer. 🙃
If the majority of reactions you get from different people is anger, then you are being aggressive, or asking the wrong people or at the wrong time. They might be angry just because they feel cornered. Asking the hard questions doesn't have to be a punch in the face. One can ask softly and subtly, and engage the other in an interesting and mutually exploratory conversation. Where many truths come out and both of us grow, even if we decide to part.
@@neliaferreira9983 he did say the hysterical is the historical...which means that maybe you are dealing with too much of another's baggage...dodge that bullet.
We women have to understand that we are the ones that chooses. But instead, we're being chosen. That's why we need to take back our boubderies and just stop accepting people and values that don't adjust to us.
You don't have a choice, most men are not going to choose you if you come as aggressive. That is why Matthew suggests a more subtle approach, like dropping the handkerchief. Straight men do not want to date men
@@Darth_Serpentor Agreed. But I didn´t write anything about being aggressive, or about men having to change for us. All I meant was that we women tend to forget that we have a choice on who suits better for us. As men do too. We don´t have to accept whoever comes into our lives if they don´t ally with what we believe in terms of a healthy relationship. I see many women (such as myself in the past) in a sort of "desperate mode", which is accepting a person who doesn´t want to be in a relationship, just so that we are not alone. Understand?
As a woman I have always had HUGE compassion for a guy to approach me at a bar or event. And it's even MORE stressful when they come up to a group of girls. It's so intimidating...I can't imagine that stress for men over the last 20-30 years. I am always flattered, and I am always kind to the guy who walks that gaunlet, whether I'm interested or not.
Agreed. I have a few younger employees that are women ages 21-24 and while out with them once I scolded them for being openly rude to a guy who kindly shot his shot. It's important not to discourage respectful behavior.
I agree totally. I can't stand rejection, but I can control how much I get rejected. Men have to keep, getting rejected or wind out getting hardened by dating.
I think I would give my number to anyone who asked to meet more people and to get to know them first before judging (unless something feels off, your gut telling something is weird etc... )
Soooo true. This really hit me and finally made sense. I fell in love with someone who was in a relationship and then got married and all the time he spent with me during this time was great - that’s just what it was…a great time. Nothing more even though it felt as if it would go further. Until I finally said that I wanted more and can’t keep doing this to myself. Feeling so excited to see him and it was to going home alone. He had a life with someone and had no intention of having that life with me. I didn’t exist to anyone in his world but he did in mine. So lesson learned - I was only an option not a priority.
You may want to avoid thinking about it as his loss. It hurts not being reciprocated but you don't have to lessen another person to retain your value. Most times It may be circumstances that lead to you not simultaneously wanting the same thing. And thats okay. You shouldn't want people to do things they aren't sure about. You should want happy willing participants. I agree that you should move forward but always hope the best for that person.
@@joannacusi5128 you think men don't get treated as optional?😂 when I talk to women I go in with full knowledge I'm optional. Most attractive girls keep 2 or 3 in their back pocket. As long as they're respectful, treat me like a human being, and the intentons are clear early on (maybe not in the first 2 weeks) its cool. Its not that I don't have my own value of myself, but my value to me could be more or less than what is to whatever a woman would value me....like who the fuck am I?....I'm just a guy as far as I know. I think we get along. The question you have to ask yourself is "am I satisfied with this" and if the answr is no thats when you walk. No ultimatums.
@@joannacusi5128 the thing about commitment is being consistently chosen as THE option. We are not THE option for everybody. And thats OKAY because to someone you are THE option of a lifetimes. It does hurt ...ive approached hundreds of girls and thats not an exaggeration....its the reality ....literally hundreds and I've found my person after all that. I always start off as optional in every situation. In some cases I become relevant....even necessary...but wishing to be necessary is too high of an expectation. Keep it light and if if it aint right communicate...if nothing changes drop that shit. If it works You have Love Commitment EFFECTIVE Communication Understanding Trust Sexual attraction Some form of reciprocation You'll be fine
A lot of men are no longer trying. They are expecting too much hotness (due to social media) and less committing. I've met men who will talk but they end up wasting my emotions/time. I think men need to be proactive in order for us to be proactive. I've been proactive and I hope men really analyze.
100% !!! Social media has definitely damaged women more than men, women are rewarded for being narcissistic and provocative, and therefore men are given too much choice that they didn't use to have. Also you know what else annoys me? Men - especially good looking men say that they don't like fake looking girls with fake boobs, hair, lips, fillers etc - yet WHO are the ones they always end up going after and end up in a relationship with - Instagram girls!! SO infuriating!! Makes you feel like you are not good enough just the way you are, no wonder girls are so insecure ☹
@@georginalewis837 One thing about me is I never let myself feel insecure. Try to work on that. It is VERY annoying men lately I agree with you say they don't want one thing yet go for another thing. I've had men attracted to me and even when I do approach they still play around or its someone I am not into but I'm direct. I feel the act of 'committing' is really being lost and its being acceptable in society to 'play house' and in the end people get really hurt. Social media in general is destroying youth and no one knows how to handle emotions. All the men I have encountered so far do not know how to handle emotion even when they are doing well in life. That is a signal to me. Sorry I went on a ramble but my point is it not your fault and don't ever think it (unless of course its valid) when with a man. I really encourage you to watch Breeny Lee she really impacting videos!
Any good thing takes work, but it rewards with equal pleasure. But not because they are difficult to manage. But because we care and invest our time and energy (work). But then we also reap the satisfying rewards. If a relationship starts feeling like more work than pleasure, that is when it is time to reevaluate...
I'm a dude listening to this podcast/conversation and it has truly put my mind at ease about having "the talk," as I can hear it from a man's AND woman's point-of-view. No, it won't be an easy conversation, but after this, I feel ready to speak the words from my heart, but in a practical, proper way that will give off my masculine energy, but in a way that's edifying, safe, supportive, and authentic. This 48 minute video is way better than the hundreds of videos from so-called experts who strategize by game-playing because the concepts discussed here are based on authentic admiration, respect, connection, guarding each other's hearts and looking out for each other's best interests. Thank you.
The more you love yourself the quicker and less you will fall for all types of 'traps' in the relationship 😊 If you're reading it, look in to the mirrow and say I Love myself ❤️
I love this guy. He is so charismatic and so respectful with women. He deserves all the best. And for all the girls here, forget about looks or money (I know it’s not easy). Focus in someone that truly cares about you and treats you with respect. Someone you feel that you can trust.
This is exactly what I needed to hear today . I did this . Created a story before we even dated because I knew this person already and just really wanted it to happen . My expectations were unrealistic and ultimately pushed this person away . I did react from a trigger on my past relationships and I totally regret how I reacted and responded when it ended before it even happened . Now I have watched this - I’m going to use this for my future relationships and reflect on my actions . I’m hurting right now but I’m glad I watched this .
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I love the 'am I an insane person' moment, it is true how we can get excited and create a whole relationship when we feel a connection with someone. Love this episode, lots of great advice.
I think we also have to keep in mind that ... 1. Some people just don't text back right away and that doesn't necessarily mean anything horrific. 2. Sometimes the other person has fears and doubts and they might be overthinking the whole thing just like you are.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
I don’t think total compatibility is not necessary or even possible. There must be an amount of acceptance towards the other’s hobbies or likes. Whilst you do this, she or he can do that and together we do other things. That should work well.
I love how Lisa doesnt interrupt and just let Matthew speak. Have also watched other videos from Women of Impact i.e with Evy (Former Secret Service Agent), and I just wanted to say that with this channel YOU WILL LEARN A LOT! Words/thoughts that you cannot articulate or know what its called? You will learn it here! I feel privileged to be an audience. Thank you Lisa!
It's so annoying when people interrupt others. That happens to me at work,or they walk away while I'm talking. Have you ever seen the view? I've only seen clips but those women interrupt all the time
@@pennyprayer764 lol this proves op's point. A guy who flirts isn't necessarily showing interest- he could just like the attention. A guy who wants you will make all the effort in the world.
"We're never getting anywhere in life unless we put ourselves on the line to some extend." That was brilliant on Matthew's end to say that. You know, nowadays I don't get to watch as much of his content as I used to, but I'm so proud of him and proud of the fact that everytime I do get to see sth, he still gets across his mission of improving not just our romantic relationships and interpersonal relationships in general but OUR relationship with ourselves. Other brilliant insight: your fear of the answer it's gonna put in the way of so much more pain than the pain of the answer you're afraid to get.
This is the sweetest thing ever hearing him talk about rejection in the coffee shop! I always think “I’m so lucky I’m a female and don’t have to make the first move, it must be so scary” .. but maybe I should!! I’ve realised I actually go as far as completely ignoring people I find attractive 😂 just blanking them completely. I need to give out vibes that I like them!
@@LisaBilyeu the sad part is this... you think that is us who have to make the move when all along you could have done the same... So sad tbh. Especially when you think about it. Theres alot of regret there i bet. Because your scared because your to good or whatever you whant to use as an excuse... But heres the thing. I dont regret a thing cause atleast i tried failed sure... but i got her! can you say the same? no i bet you cannot say the same.
@@jaimierose2985 well why? what is the worst that can happend? No im sorry im taken or im sorry im not into you. that is litterly it... right? so why are you being so scared again? Trust me you miss out.
@@sebulller yeah, you're right! It's something I'm actually working on now. There's someone I'm gonna try and ask out next week! You don't know unless you try. So, thank you!!
We don't need so called experts telling us all this, we just need to know what integrity & goid character are & a person if both of those will treat you right & value you as a person...it's that simple...they will keep their word, be honest & straight forward, & their won't be any guessing games. They will also be transparent, so you won't ever get mixed signals or inconsistencies. Before you look for a partner, find out who you are...believe in your value & worth, & the right person will come along & you'll know they are the right one. We need to stop making this so complicated.
@@keepcreationprocess that's probably why you don't have an amazing relationship, your perspective is wrong....do you have a healthy perspective & love for yourself? Do you know what healthy behavior & attitudes are in your life & relationships? People generally pick out partners according to what they are taught & how they feel & see themselves. How do you view women? If you want a good women, have you become the kind of man a good woman will be attracted to & deserve? It sounds like you're going in the wrong direction for picking partners.
Sometimes you need to go through the rough patches in the beginning of trying to get to know someone better. Then over time, a relationship develops into something good.
He's amazing!! So true! I'm a psychologist now & when I was younger men would hit on me constantly & I was acutely aware of the way I handled it, I would NEVER be rude, never in front of their friends, & quite often go out of my way to talk to them so they didn't FEEL rejected. Of course things happened anyway at times. Men are very sensitive, they just don't always show it due to cultural expectations. Thank God no internet back then!!! Men see a pretty girl, & think she must be wonderful ( used to). Now they see a threat. It's called the "halo effect" good-looking people are good people who also have a load of other positive qualities. Today it's the opposite. I've only dated 1 person in my early 20's, I married him it waz a disaster!! Every other relationship I've been friends for at least 1 yr before entering a relationship & investing myself in it. Not saying everyone should do that...but seeing how someone responds across a variety of situations tells you who they are....and I'm still friends with each & every one of them...because I like them as a friend, & they are important to me outside a romantic situation. Breaking up might have been rough, but the foundation survives & there is love there regardless. All my decade long friendships are with males...my girlfriends eventually screwed me over & were phased out. Dating is set up to fail. Being afraid of being alone is another issue. Glad to see someone not encouraging the current gender wars!!!!. I hope this gives someone a idea. Much love all♥️♥️🌎🌎⚡⚡♾♾
So while being friends, (sensitive topic here) did you just stay celibate or were you guys friends with benefits? I had a coworker who was friends with a guy first for a long time, I was wondering the same thing, she later revealed that she and him had been friends with benefits after breaking up with boyfriend.
Yes to the 'four stages': 1. Admiration 2. Connection/"Chemistry" 3. Commitment 4. Compatibility I am a master of the first two - perhaps i will level up my game now..! Thanks for the conversation Lisa 🙏 😊
i fell for you just looking at you walkin the office, plus the feel of your hand holding mine made me feel so secure in the world so sure of who I am, confident in me as well as you. you are and you have been the completehappiness of my entire lifffe. stay just as you are. You are perfect for me. I hope I can be as good for you as you have been for me. PERFECT. F for salways yours . F
WOW. It took my literally FOR-EV-ER to get through this video because I had to keep replaying/relistening to so much of what he was saying!! Everything he was saying totally showed me just how much conditioning/learned behavior/experiences, that I think myself and most women have to unlearn and have to retrain our brains to think. I'm 30 now (married, a 3yr. old boy and a 4yr. old girl) I'm not saying I settled but he's teaching is giving me new ways of thinking and approaching things with my husband and our relationship and how I communicate with him that I never even considered when we first started dating. I mean let's be honest this is not the sort of dating wisdom most women received when growing up (especially from our female relatives/parents/friends/teachers/mentors- no less the male figures in our lives). I mean how much heartache and bullets would we have saved ourselves from and dodged had we entered into our prime (dating) learning years with THIS!!🤯🤯🤯😵 This definitely shows me where I can help to improve my relationship with my husband but also how I can teach my daughter to have a successful and healthy (healthier) approach/perspective to dating whoever she chooses aside from what society says she should do or is considered safe and normal. We all need to have healthy, open, honest, intimate, mature emotional relationships with all genders even if they don't end in life-long marriages.
It's really easy: Say exactly what you mean and mean what you say. Be HONEST and be yourself. Be courteous and look for the best in others. Listen. Be happy and share your happiness. If you feel the need to put someone else down, move on. Life's too short.
Literally someone just told me last week that why and why things couldn't work out for us and I was like oh we can do this and that and solve the problem together! Turned out that was really the end of our story and "whether or not this logic is true is not for me to figure out". How powerful this line is 😭
Matt Hussey is one of th emost genuine, kind and authentic public figure who makes a massive impact on men and women all around the world. He’s constantly learning and engaging his people and members to give advce and empowers. He truly transforms people. I’m one of those people. Saved my life in many ways x
I just started following Women of Impact a few weeks ago but I have been following Matthew for a few years. It was a pleasant surprise to see him on here today. Love this so much!
This is so crazy! I never went after a man like the one I have now and it was near animalistic that I had to have him even though he was so shy! He later confessed that my bulldozing effect was exactly what he needed and five years later we are still so perfect together. We truly feel. Love this channel and awesome video!! Nice to know how to improve and when to be happy you've done something right!
SarahDunlap Good for you! 👍 And, it's good to read that there isn't a one fits all way of getting together, or staying together! Humans are very different, and variable. I think it's a big mistake to always go by the so called rules... Although, usually, chasing a man as a woman doesn't bring much, but often a breakup or ignorance from the man. Alas. I also really didn't recognise myself, last year, being full of extreem high energy, happiness, and chasing a man I really appreciated a lot, and him me. I lost track of my own self for a 1.5 month!! (That 1.5 month seemed like a year, for me!! For him, it only was like three weeks!) He gave me the ice cold shoulder, soon after. A huge rejection, I never had been through before!! It's horrible. And, a year later, here I am, still thinking about him, and the why and how... Especially because I knew that he did love me... And, he wanted so much to be together. But his past fears caught up with him. And, he flung it onto me, that way. Very nasty. 😓 When I showed him how much he meant to me, by showing up once at a different time, because I thought he was in need at that moment. (Wrong, but due to no or afterwards bad communication on his side, I thought it better to see him, fast). He took that action of mine so badly, to reject me bluntly and harshly. Although I explained afterwards. He's not a good communicator, when he thinks someone wants to hurt him. (Which I certainly didn't!). I won't go into detail, but he's way too mucked up inside and too complicated for me. Strange, because he too, like your man, is very shy and introverted. But doesn't show it really. And, he did appreciate my way of approaching him, and being there for him! He said so, many times. I still don't know what really happened in his head or life, at the moment of rejection. He still hasn't told me, properly... After 7 long months, no contact, (I forced myself), I only went to see him for a few brief moments, like his birthday. He was cold and seeked to be nasty... It's a transfer, from his past onto me, but he doesn't seem to want to register that. I've tried to tell him. He's is a very bad listener, alas. And, thinks he's superior, just because of his studies...(Alrhough, I'm more studied!). But, he's done some immense stupid things. Like making his business go backrupt, by corrupting huge amounts of money, having wrong associates, etc... But, he's ever so proud... Fled his country, and started from scratch here... Being a slave in a fast food!! Owes his country billions, and should be in prison. But strange enough it doesn't seem to bug him that much... He's just after the money here, again!! And, I thought he was a spiritual being, because he did show me that side of him, too!!!! Wishful thinking! So, I don't seek any contact any longer. He can get it up his! It took me a year, to unhook. He will find out soon what he did to me. The Universe will tell him, and show him. Because the worst is what he did to himself. And I'm very sad about that. It hit hard. He's a masochist. It will hit harder into him, now, I'm sure. Time will tell. In an ideal world, afcourse I'd wish all of this wouldn't have happened! And, that we'd be happily together! But, this is the real world ! I wish for a balanced, harmonious, kind, caring, responsible and giving man, and for a blissful loving and long-lasting relationship. 🙏💖 Take care, 🤗
22:00 Inception 37:00 Asking the hard questions early. Which can become harder to ask as time rolls over. 40:00 questions 1. What is something which I don't have you want/wish/desire in your partner? (What's the right word though) 2. What's that thing I used to do & you really admired? 2. Love switches
As a guy I really appreciate these conversations and I don't even know how many times I had to rewind and mull these points. As a guy though I'd say that I"m not scared of being asked big scary questions, but I'd say that I don't even know where I'd start with asking big scary questions, or how to lead a conversation into those avenues of conversation. So I'd add a caveat to the "if hes interested he'll ask the hard questions."... I'd say, "I'll show you my interest by making you a priority.".. I'll take the guess work out. Love is a verb.
“It has potential...but there’s nothing to mourn over right now” oh wow. Yeah I always get caught up missing someone because of what I’m looking forward to in the future
If you feel it....you feel it and act on that. Some folks are shy...take the initiative..give them an open.. if you want this person...assert yourself and THEN if they are still complacent...you will know
I just realised that even though i've had crushes I have never invested in anyone in a more than friendly manner. I onced walked up to a guy after staring at him a bit too long lol but that's it
That's the whole 48 mins not need to watch. This statement is enough. There is no hard written rules who should initiate every person is different and some guys like a women to initiate some guys dont. Humans are complex.
@@MimiAndM1niMe2184 men say that they want one thing but their brains are wired to respond to other things . Their brains need to chase. It’s pure biology. When they say that they want women to initiate, they mean “I want Rihanna to initiate with men”. It’s never the case. Only an insecure woman chases a man. And this is why the man is turned off. If you chase him, it means there is something wrong with you. In nature, the feminine is looking for the best candidate for her egg. She waits for the males to prove that they have the best genes
@Cindy Lou sorry queen I put a Thumb down on your message because I didn’t read it well Yes. It’s the ego boost 100%. It gives them the confidence to go chase their dream girl
This episode was fire!! 🔥🔥🔥 I have followed the Hussey for years but every interview I watch of his brings me something new, and has me nodding vigorously! Truth bombs galore 💣
Building stories before anything actually happened. That is sooo me...over and over again. I guess I'm really lonely and wish for perfect stories when all is in my head. When Mathew said find someone who is invested in you, always there when you need him, I immediately thought of any man in my life and found no one 😭😭.
We must love ourselves first bc if we do not love ourselves first, we will always feel hurt by others over anything....so and yes I do love myself and yes I am fine on my own....and others will see that about me..
People give Matthew Hussey a lot of crap for either pandering to women or just trying to get them to change to please a man. But if you actually listen to what he’s saying…it makes sense and takes both women and men’s struggles in dating into account. I think his content has improved significantly as well. It’s less click bait.
Ladies....no disrespect to Matthew, but life is too short to be wasting time and emotion trying to decode what a guy's actions mean and what he is really thinking etc. It's really very simple - if a man wants you, they will make the effort; if they don't, they won't! If you really want to learn something, check out Lisa's interview with Evy Pompouras from a few weeks ago. Now THAT is a lady who won't put up with anyone's crap 💪
How is he a relationships expert? He has never been married and never had a long term relationship - another BS story that will come to light when the truth hits
I think we create the story he's talking about in several situations in your lives, not just with dating, but with anything new we're excited/afraid about. For example with a new job, with going through some changes, anything that might significantly change our lives.
I follow him, and he just gives me confirmation, that i was just following common sense and don't over think things that a guy says, and they will tell you what they are looking for.so i listen and it saves me alot of time😁
I love what you say about the value of an relationship. It is like your business. Little by little you'd don't look after your business. It will slowly phase out. Good analogy.
Oh my.. there is so much goodness and truth in this. The whole thing about being afraid of the answer :( mine was “do you see marriage in your future” I finally struck up the courage to ask and the answer was “I don’t know”
@@cindy-tron Exactly! I left him 2 months ago. I could no longer be with someone who’s luke warm about me! I know I deserve someone who loves the way I do !!
these questions can change your relationship dynamics. "What did u want in a partner that I dont have? What was I did I used to do for you, that I dont do for you now that you wish I did?" damn that was deep.
Ugh, screw this. There's no excuse for not being clear with people and not respecting them. I don't care what's between your legs. Women AND men shouldn't have to decode what is being said to them.
@@TxHoneyBee I disagree. He never states that we as women HAVE TO decode anyone and to obey the man blindly, but gives a guidance to BE ABLE TO decode what is/what could be manipulation, to make a distinction what is manipulation and what is the truth, and how to deal with any manipulation in a proper, bold and self-respectful way. Nicely said, well-worded phrases and masculine, strong approach don't guarantee true and sincere feelings behind them, the same way shyness and waiting on a girl to approach don't mean a guy is not interested and should be rejected as not interested/weak etc. He explained it extremely well in the beginning of the video. And although actions do speak louder than words, attention doesn't mean intention.
We think differently and communicate differently. Communication is key. He is showing us how to see the situation from a males perspective. How can you decode a language you don’t speak? Emotions and getting rejected causes blockages to communications.
Truth bombs! This even applies to platonic friendships. When things are too one-sided it makes for a difficult friendship. Who meets you half way? They are the ones that are good for you!
I've learned so much about my current successful relationship and look forward to bringing these tools to make it even more successful. You both are so incredible and rational. I can't thank you enough.
I've recently got into a relationship with a younger guy, I'm 49 he's 35... so far it's amazing... there's no difference from dating a guy my own age. Infact it's so much easier. He still relates to my life experiences and vice versa... I don't feel I'm having to compensate in any way.... we just seem to work... really well. He's amazing.
i've always gravitated more toward older guys too.. i'm kind of an old soul myself for 40.. I feel like what tends to get complicated is some of the older ones (who've been married before, have kids/grandkids,) tend to have some baggage, if you will....and it gets a little harder to set a solid foundation. Sometimes you are at different life stages also, which can make things complicated... But don't let any of that discourage you...just some aspects to be aware of and open-minded about.
Ouuuh. Loved Matthew for a long time, and Lisa more recently (but I looove the idea that there is a show helping us women to be our own hero). Two beautiful people gathered. With such inspiring ideas. And Lisa facial expression 😂 she's like genuinely in the conversation. Thank you 🖤
“If he’s interested, you’ll know
If he’s not interested, you’ll be confused.”
He's full of crap. Look ladies this is what I do. I tell you if I'm not interested in a relationship BEFORE I sleep with you. Trouble is twofold. A lot of guys do it AFTER they sleep with you (since they dont want to risk missing out on sex). Also, Women dont push for the info. Thats the solution. dont sleep with a guy you like, until you know for sure.
Yup
Way too simplistic a statement....
@@valeriatubman1425 Exactly. That would also solve the issues of single parenthood.
Not necessarily because some keep their barriers up first date. Especially ladies. :)
Women need to be brave and ask the hard questions, without being attached to the outcome
Yes, like what am I doing wrong
I am in a relationship and feeling, I am lost in communication almost all the time.
Exactly
Men also need to take them down from the pedestals they put the on and ask the HARD questions, like Besides your body and beauty, sex mainly, which you ALREADY know I want, what ELSE do you bring to the table?? Do you really really believe in equality, and what does it means to you in practical terms, or is it just an ideology you use when it suits you?? Am I your first choice or are you still paining for Chad from your past?? What are my realistic chances of having sex with you soon, or will you string me along to keep that sexual tension, and find out more about me, so I'll have to keep being good and you won't find out anyhow until AFTER we have sex?? How much would you like me if I told you the worst of me??
... but [always a but] , if men did this we never get laid, so that examination comes later.
Men know what women want to hear, there Disney fantasy movies they have watched all there lives... so we accommodate. Women know what the MAIN reason men approach them is, and they also pretend they don't fully know it, and use it to the max. "Like me for me" is meaningless at the beginning.
I actually disagree with this statement. Unless he means later in the relationship, which he did not clarify.
My male friends tell me they ran away from women because on the first or second date they shot off "You want to marry in your future? Because i want to.", "Do you want kids?". Wth? That sounds so neurotic!
*I feel like every woman needs to have an experience of when the guy likes you more than you like him, so that she can see what a man who is interested and pursues looks and acts like.*
I thinks thats usually the case but alot of those guys don't exactly register in alot of womens field of vision when they come.
Might not have any game
Might not be very handsome
Might be not talk very loud
Behaviorally
They may seem a little tense
May be excessively palliative
Or very quiet.
May not be good at talking to women
A liitle too Eager to help
May give you compliments
(Compliment is not game at all)
May go out of their way to make conversation with you.( Convrsation you may not even want to have.)
Very attentive.
These guys who probably like you more than anybody else are most likely friends of yours or trying to be friends to get closer to you because they understand if you don't have a connection its going to be no. Male friendship with women can often be motivatd by attraction but please understand character matters.....how they act as a friend is not necessarily the same as a boyfriend so you should reflect on their relationships if you go for one of your friends.
For most women its actually relatively easy to turn a male friend into a boyfriend. But the girl usually says something to the effect of not wanting to ruin the friendship because in some ways they SOMETIMES unknowingly use that male friend as a dependable non obligatory source of male attention/interaction and validation when theyre feeling low. Girls used to do that with me all the time because talking to me made/makes them feel good but they don't realize their doing it.
They'd literally be all over me in private and in public.
And there is the infamous "I wish all guys were like you"....which the natural response is......"I'm a guy like me" as I'm usually single when they say this shit to me😂😂😂
I called the bluff but nothing came😂.
If you are afraid of ruining the friendship understand your relationship should be similar to your friendship just with some extras. Issues come when you make things more complicated than they need to be.
That's easy - just pay attention to the 90% of guys who you are ignoring! Don't go for Chris Hemsworth lookalikes, go for the average Joe.
@@jugular911 attraction is still important otherwise theyre settling and they May not appreciate the guy like they should ..... nobody deserves to be treated like someones doing them a favor by talking to them. I've also already said what you have said in my comment.
@@mauricionovae8484 So they're hoping for a hot, rich, tall, muscular, Chris Hemsworth lookalike who is desired by many other women, but who only pursues her. When she's only average herself. That's a fantasy and never going to happen. Well, at least Matthew Hussey and other dating coaches make millions off idiots like these women! I might start my own dating business promising women this fantasy man. I could make millions because women are so gullible.
@@jugular911 You're projecting general beliefs. I understand and I used to think that because alot of girls think they want that but its not all true. I know better now because I HAD TO.
You have to see every woman as herself because you lose perspective when you get general.
Women want:
a man they can respect.
They want a man with perspective.
A man who can make them feel something.
A man that Doesn't lower himself to elevate her.
A man they can admire and each woman admires a man for SOMETHING other than his utility, validation, or financial status. They want to watch you be great in some area they value and the area depends on the girl thats why you have to understand who you're talking to. Unlike us women don't exactly say what they really mean...like they mean it at the time but not on an internal level. So the thing is to figure out what she likes about you and not what she says she likes about you.
A man who can communicate without reacting emotionally because two emotional people will clash and women are hard wired to feel. You need to be unshakable because if they can move you they can control you and if they can control you then subconsciously she wont respect you. Not tommention she has her own feelimgs to deal with and we as guys SEVERELY underestimate the effects emotions have on women.
They want a man they can trust with their life. Somebody they can talk to about anything without being judged.
Keep your word. Do what you say.
And most importantly they need you to not need them. You need to be willing to walk any second
No threats or ultimatums because thats emotional manipulation. If you gonna do that shit just do it. And you dont come back. But when you do it NEVER leave them in a bad financial situation they can't handle.
I’ve spent three and a half years around a man who just didn’t know what he wanted. I, on the other hand, wanted him 1000%, all of the time. Well, finally, I had to accept that no matter what, this man simply didn’t want me enough. I couldn’t hang around anymore so I left with all the grace i could master. Heartbreaking, but I didn’t think it was right to keep company with someone who simply didn’t want me.
Props for not settling. It's not easy to be the one who walks away when you've invested time, but sometimes, our downfall is that we don't walk away sooner.
I would also say it's a combination. Not just he didn't know, but also will be you choosing to ignoring red flags which your friends and family saw.
Kudos to you for leaving
I’m so proud of you. I’ve been there and picked up and left… now… he’s trying to get back in my life.
Stand your ground. Be your own best friend first and compliment yourself on doing what was in your best interest.
~N
❤️🙌🏼
Do not enter the world of doubt. When people aren't sure of their emotions, commitment or desire toward you. Stay clear of them. It can be the ultimate clash and/or crash of your life. Choose self love 1st.
I started doing exactly that in my early 20’s and the anxiety in my dating life has been nearly non existant.
Amen to that 🙌
Excellent advice!
Preach Sis 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥📌🙏🏾
💯❤️
"I'm not looking for anything serious" means "with you".
🤗🤗🤗🤗Bravo!!!!
I have been told this by men. They say this because they don't want to be subjected to a list of conditions and requirements from the woman. If a man says "I want a serious relationship", some women see that as an invitation to vomit their personal demands on them. "Oh but you said you wanted serious, so now you must visit my mother every weekend, and let me check your phone, and never talk to any other woman again".
I have also learnt from personal experience that if you don't demand from them, they will want to stick around because they feel free, respected and appreciated in what they do decide to give. Whatever the initial non-committed intentions are, they sometimes change.
With you is always silent though😂
Some men can't be serious about a woman, any woman.
Serious=sickening
"Don't invest in someone based on how much you like them. Invest in someone based on how much they invest in you" Matthew Hussey. 🎯🎯🎯
@@bronkonovak6555 I've read his book and interpret it as advice to stop someone from wasting all their time, energy and emotions trying to make it work with a narcisistic type who was never going to commit to them anyway. If someone is inconsiderate, disrespectful, makes minimum effort and shows no signs of commitment you're likely being used but can't see it and are scared of losing them because you like them so much. You shouldn't hang on desperately trying to make it work. Instead invest in someone you like who is kind and considerate and also invests their time, energy and emotions in you. That way you're far more likely to meet someone who you could have a loving long term relationship with. 😀
@@bronkonovak6555 you better be selfish! Or maybe u rather keep chasing after men who dont want u... Get Smart!
@@bronkonovak6555 Sounds totally wise and right, and coincides with my years of experience.
The golden nugget right there💰
I've tried but the brain chemicals are never there, and I break it off due to lack of interest
"Be kind in your tone but ruthless in your actions"
I think I just did that today - not intentionally though. I was very polite for a change, but made it clear I’m moving on, because he simply didn’t want me enough. There’s no point being around people who don’t value you. Just move on. It’s easier said than done, but it has got to be done, otherwise you may end up losing all your sense of self-worth and your sanity.
@@BambiOnIce19 & be Safe and aware when leaving buy thinking will they do the unthinkable & kidnap kids , set u up like Amber heard did Jonny , don’t underestimate people’s ability to completely blindside you .
@@RoddyPipersCorneas
You shouldn't evaluate quotes like that outside of context.
The point is that there are often no real consequences in dating from the person that invests. It's all talk. No action.
Ruthless talk and no or kind action. And this is realized quickly by the other side. It's basicly a free ticket to treat you badly again.
But many of those situations that lead to ruthless talk and no action are actually really big red flags.
So leave. For honest. Make it the other persons task to fight for your relationship.
"He or she cheated on me, so I'm going to fight harder for our relationship" creates a real bad precedence and is a surefire sign for disaster.
"She or he cheated on me, I'm not interested any more UNLESS he fights his way back into this is much smarter."
Or much more common:
He or she says that he or she is not interested in a serious relationship.
Some people talk upset and hope that he or she will change his or her mind and start justifying sleeping with him or her in order to up their chances.
And some will just say "okay, I understand" and walk away.
I started to see someone and noticed negative behaviors. Emotionally, I didn’t want to end it because it felt good when we were together. But when I asked myself “does this bring peace or take away my peace?” I knew exactly what I needed to do. Trying to date for two years post divorce I have yet to meet a man who doesn’t expect me to fill a void or in a round about way ask “what can you do for me.” It’s exhausting so I’ve stopped looking. When I got to bed at night and snuggle my pup and my little girl, that’s all the love and abundance I need. Would it be nice to have someone to share that with? Of course, but unfortunately quality is hard to find and I need to protect what I do have. I would rather be alone than compromise my boundaries or expectations. Welcome to 2022.
Same girl. I started dating after two years of being single, had plenty of options but I really tried to pick carefully. Ended up picking a guy that was just interested in sex. I mean, OK but it was the lies and future faking that made me finish it.
I was also doing all the legwork, paying for everything, I couldn't go to his house, never invited me anywhere and I just decided that I was making far much more effort. I'm happy with myself to be honest, my old self would have kept flogging the dead horse, but I finished it and I'm happy I respected myself. Love to you and stay strong, God has a plan for us all xxxx
What is wrong in asking you "what can you do for me?". What can you actually do for them? Or you think you shouldn't be doing anything. What is negative about somebody asking you how will you take care of their needs?
I have no idea what expectations you have as a single mother with also a pet involved. You are not really going to attract the best men out there who have their options. I think you have to really find some humility first and really assess where you are placed on the dating market and be realistic about it.
So, it's not about that quality is hard to find, it's just that quality men will not really pick somebody in your situation. I know the reality of this is sad and maybe unfair, but that is how life goes.
@@Alnivol666 Nothing, if the question is being asked is also reciprocated. It’s a shame you’re looking at your assumptions of a situation and passing judgement on what is quality and what is not. None of us are clean slates, and many of us aren’t interested in the ‘Market’ mentality.
@@mrm-888 Just because none of us are clean slates, you think that means what exactly? I really have issues with people thinking their decisions in the past and sometimes in the present should not carry the weight that they do.
@@Alnivol666 asking that question sounds like you are looking for a good business deal, looking for an employee. Are you looking for a live-in chef, housekeeper, assistant, therapist, hostess, financial investor, PR manager etc? This does not ellicit romantic feelings in a single soul. It kind of stabs the idea of love in the chest. Simply put. Asking this you immediately reveal yourself as a selfish user.
If someone is mistreating you and tells you they haven’t done anything “wrong”, listen to them. They are telling you they are going to continue😔✨☘️🙏
💯💯💯💯
And, it’s important to understand this for partners who are decent people who don’t necessarily “mistreat” but cause you unhappiness and don’t understand how there’s something wrong in their behaviour.
My problem has been these types of people I attract & then finding it difficult to break away because they’re not ‘bad’ people.
@SpiralMystic Bingo! Yes! You've described exactly what I've experienced and thank you, that's what I needed to read. 🙏🏻
@@seagreentangerine2065 God bless you & hope & pray from this day forth, you will receive nothing but the very best treatment ✨☘️🙏
Yes a narcissist
When I met my now fiancé, right from the start there was ZERO anxiety in me in relation to him or us, ZERO doubts that he was REALLY interested, and he was completely open and consistent from day one. Incredible - and we're still going strong. I am 46 and he is 51. I stayed single for 14 years because I never wanted to settle; I wanted the high-quality man I deserved and who would be truly compatible in every way... I am beyond happy that I waited. Never settle... Much love to all. Xxx
Feeling inspired! Thank you for sharing this! ❤
Encouraging being single for 11years waiting on God I don't want stress givers. Saving my God happily 🎉❤
Wow❤🙏
YOU GOTTA BE CAREFUL OF THE GUYS WHO ASK A TON OF QUESITONS ABOUT YOU TOO!!! trust me on this. that dosnt garantee they are genuinely into you. It means they know it makes you feel seen and you are going to feel flattered and charmed by them! Also, they know if they keep the attention on you they don't have to reveal as much about themselves!
...yeah but little do they know you're gonna make 'em wait at least 90 days before even considering to have sex with them...they drop like flies, LOL..... ;)
Exactly
@@leslieferguson9562 I've had plenty of women tell they weren't going to have sex with me and they did the same night.
@Amanda Schwartz
Exactly! thats what just happened to me now!
@@HiddenHandMedia They perhaps meant well, but temptation overwhelmed them. Goal is to not put oneself in position to fail. Takes a LOT of willpower....
Also, *Maya Angelou & Oprah said it first - when someone tells you who they are, believe them.*
And my experience vouches for it. People aware of their masculine energy will express it. My first relationship, the guy was self aware enough to know he was selfish and runs after people when interested and drops them if he loses interest. It was a red flag, and then 2 months later it happened. Same with a female friend who has very masculine energy. Didn't have time for people going through treatment resistant MH issues and left with very cruel words.
But we all learn the learnings 😊
OMG! I thought about this same quote while watching
It is the quote of Maya Angelou.
This!
"If it doesn't work out I'll still be okay."
Love that!
better to have loved and lost, than never loved at all
Spot on. Love your life, you'll be fine.
"You don't stop caring about rejection, you just starting caring about something else more" woooohh I THIS !!
For me its impossible to have a connection with someone who has disrespected me in any way at that point I'm completely turned off 👎👎
Yass queen! Agreed!
@@icecreamlover4992 smart lady 💓
🙌
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
@@rosesolorio81 she is smart both wrong
MY NOTES FROM THIS PODCAST:
3:03 One of the reasons why women are settling for the wrong person is because the lack of choice.
6:14 Attention does not mean intention.
27:56 If someone is telling you something that would make their life more difficult, then that's probably true.
31:46 Signs that a guy likes you.
34:43 People have to be brave enough to ask questions that they are afraid of the answers too.
40:59 What did I used to do for you but don't do now that you wish I should do? Ask this question to your partner to know their attraction/love switches or what turns them on.
44:14 What gives you money in the bank to go and have a difficult conversation with someone, is what you have been doing in the weeks/ months leading up to it.
Thank you.
Ty❤
Thank you!
This is great. Thanks!
Thank you. 😊
Thanks for your efforts❤
Never settle for less than you’re worth. Matthew is legit, I’ve been watching his videos for a while and I met the love of my life and was able to demand respect from him & win his heart by staying in my power & having self-respect.
That’s beautiful, I’m glad his advice actually works.
Me too!
so i have to make the first move to get the person i like right
@@hardcorepreparation6740 You should just give a clear sign of interest... You don’t need to plan the first date if you don’t want to! That’s what I did to make him notice me and to see If he was interested in me.
I just decided to go talk to him and to write him one time aftewards. He did the rest!
Going back to the All days with a guy picked up the handkerchief even before that to biblical days it said a man who finds a wife finds a good thing I don’t like the new woman who gets on her knees and ask for his hand in marriage never chase a man not saying that I don’t approve of a strong woman who knows what she wants and goes for it however keep the testosterone level down ladies estrogen always wins a sweet cookie
6:13 “attention doesn’t mean intention” 😮💨🙌🏻 that hit me
same.....
Yes it did 🫣
Yup me too
We can't even appreciate the attention
Starting a situationship without wanting a relationship is a symptom of manipulation.
exactly
My ex was like that... initially he wanted commitment in the form of me moving countries (we live in the same continent but two different countries) and starting a business with him after 2.5 years. I didn't move permanently (chose to spend 6 months instead every year) because I am still a little old-fashioned and don't want to disrespect my parents and grandparents...also moving and settling into another country is no joke...I needed to know that I would get total support and love from him. So we thought about a business... rather he chose a business and told me to do it. Initially I was only "allowed" to do its marketing...then when his mum couldn't do the cooking (the business idea was selling cooked chicken), he turned to me and emotionally blackmailed me to do it. I didn't do it...I did the marketing and everything that I could despite not having any product to work with but I told him that I'll cook with him...that didn't happen. And then 1.5 years later, he gave me several reasons as to why we can't continue our relationship - reasons such as I don't listen to him (I once drove over a glass bottle by mistake and he has held onto that), I haven't lost as much weight as he'd like me to (apparently when he first met me he got so depressed that he started drinking and smoking heavily), I haven't moved there permanently (and we follow the same culture and religion), I haven't started a business with him, I don't help him, everything I do is for myself and my happiness solely...and then two days later, his reasons changed...he said that because of his past relationships with his mother, sister and ex's...he cannot trust women anymore and that I deserve better and he doesn't want to take away my happiness. I have never felt so betrayed and so lost and shocked. Oh and this was a 4 year relationship... and every year he broke up with me...the first three years his reasons were that I didn't move there permanently and my weight. He is the only man who has managed to break my heart, my positivity, my strength and my spirit. The lesson I've learnt is that when a man breaks up with you...no matter how perfect he may be...leave. Because that's just a precursor of what's to come.
Roshni Peshavaria Yup--- he probably was never loved unconditionally and became a border line /narcissist as a defense mechanism. People like that are broken and stuck in their shadow side. It it takes self awareness and spirituality to bring them to a place of self love. Consider yourself lucky you did not get stuck in a marriage with children with him. I suggest you watch videos by soul gps or sam vaknin or richard grannon and many others to understand the gaslighting you went thru so you can heal your heart, grow stronger , love yourself more and attract a person who love you unconditionally . ❤️🙏🏻❤️
@@lisaariottiart thank you so so much.❤️ You're absolutely right. And I will most definitely watch videos from those people/channels you have recommended.❤️❤️ Anything that will help me move forward and take back the power I lost, I'll take with open arms...thank you so much. You don't know how much this means to me.❤️😌
Key symptom of Narcissist
I told myself,
"Find someone who blends in the life that you want and the one who looks at you like you're some kind of magic!"
I didn't go desperately looking for someone though, I just let it happen.😘
🙏🙏🙏
My mom told me not to look for it. When you least expect it, it happens. That has been true with some of my relationships. Of course they haven't worked out too well in the past,but I think this guy im seeing, is the one. It'll just take some time for the relationship to flourish since e has been through so much.
Hi 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍❤❤❤❤❤🌷🌷
Amazingly it can happen!
@@lindacahoon829 hey Linda, how is going with the guy?
I’m never afraid to ask the hard questions, because I value my time. The answer I receive is usually angry, as they don’t want to be asked hard questions lol. So basically, their anger is my answer. 🙃
If the majority of reactions you get from different people is anger, then you are being aggressive, or asking the wrong people or at the wrong time. They might be angry just because they feel cornered.
Asking the hard questions doesn't have to be a punch in the face. One can ask softly and subtly, and engage the other in an interesting and mutually exploratory conversation. Where many truths come out and both of us grow, even if we decide to part.
Truth
@@neliaferreira9983 he did say the hysterical is the historical...which means that maybe you are dealing with too much of another's baggage...dodge that bullet.
We women have to understand that we are the ones that chooses. But instead, we're being chosen. That's why we need to take back our boubderies and just stop accepting people and values that don't adjust to us.
Do you really think men are supposed to change who they are to suit you? If so, that's an unhealthy expectation.
@@thevoxdeus I didn't write that. That's what YOU chose to understand.
You don't have a choice, most men are not going to choose you if you come as aggressive. That is why Matthew suggests a more subtle approach, like dropping the handkerchief. Straight men do not want to date men
@@Darth_Serpentor Agreed. But I didn´t write anything about being aggressive, or about men having to change for us. All I meant was that we women tend to forget that we have a choice on who suits better for us. As men do too. We don´t have to accept whoever comes into our lives if they don´t ally with what we believe in terms of a healthy relationship. I see many women (such as myself in the past) in a sort of "desperate mode", which is accepting a person who doesn´t want to be in a relationship, just so that we are not alone. Understand?
Damn your so right. But if I look at a guy and I'm Not interested than I'll just ignore him
Matthew has such a high degree of emotional and social intelligence! That's truely his talent. It's always super insightful to listen to him ❤️
As a woman I have always had HUGE compassion for a guy to approach me at a bar or event. And it's even MORE stressful when they come up to a group of girls.
It's so intimidating...I can't imagine that stress for men over the last 20-30 years.
I am always flattered, and I am always kind to the guy who walks that gaunlet, whether I'm interested or not.
Agreed. I have a few younger employees that are women ages 21-24 and while out with them once I scolded them for being openly rude to a guy who kindly shot his shot. It's important not to discourage respectful behavior.
I agree totally. I can't stand rejection, but I can control how much I get rejected. Men have to keep, getting rejected or wind out getting hardened by dating.
Why don't you take the lead and ask the man out?
I think I would give my number to anyone who asked to meet more people and to get to know them first before judging (unless something feels off, your gut telling something is weird etc... )
Always value yourself more! Don't be taken in so easily. Actions always speak louder than his words!
"it's worse for me to wonder, then to ask the hard question and have the ability to do something about it".. I feel this so much in my core!!
Hi 💕💕
Attention is not intention. I love hearing this.
Soooo true. This really hit me and finally made sense. I fell in love with someone who was in a relationship and then got married and all the time he spent with me during this time was great - that’s just what it was…a great time. Nothing more even though it felt as if it would go further. Until I finally said that I wanted more and can’t keep doing this to myself. Feeling so excited to see him and it was to going home alone. He had a life with someone and had no intention of having that life with me. I didn’t exist to anyone in his world but he did in mine. So lesson learned - I was only an option not a priority.
If he doesn't want a commitment, leave and move on. Its his loss not yours.
You may want to avoid thinking about it as his loss. It hurts not being reciprocated but you don't have to lessen another person to retain your value.
Most times It may be circumstances that lead to you not simultaneously wanting the same thing. And thats okay. You shouldn't want people to do things they aren't sure about. You should want happy willing participants. I agree that you should move forward but always hope the best for that person.
@@mauricionovae8484 and it hurts when men treat you as an option...I know my value and I deserve to be treated as one.
@@joannacusi5128 you think men don't get treated as optional?😂 when I talk to women I go in with full knowledge I'm optional. Most attractive girls keep 2 or 3 in their back pocket. As long as they're respectful, treat me like a human being, and the intentons are clear early on (maybe not in the first 2 weeks) its cool.
Its not that I don't have my own value of myself, but my value to me could be more or less than what is to whatever a woman would value me....like who the fuck am I?....I'm just a guy as far as I know. I think we get along. The question you have to ask yourself is "am I satisfied with this" and if the answr is no thats when you walk. No ultimatums.
@@joannacusi5128 the thing about commitment is being consistently chosen as THE option. We are not THE option for everybody. And thats OKAY because to someone you are THE option of a lifetimes. It does hurt ...ive approached hundreds of girls and thats not an exaggeration....its the reality ....literally hundreds and I've found my person after all that. I always start off as optional in every situation. In some cases I become relevant....even necessary...but wishing to be necessary is too high of an expectation.
Keep it light and if if it aint right communicate...if nothing changes drop that shit.
If it works
You have
Love
Commitment
EFFECTIVE Communication
Understanding
Trust
Sexual attraction
Some form of reciprocation
You'll be fine
@@mauricionovae8484 I am not here to argue. I hear you loud and clear. Thank you.
A lot of men are no longer trying. They are expecting too much hotness (due to social media) and less committing. I've met men who will talk but they end up wasting my emotions/time. I think men need to be proactive in order for us to be proactive. I've been proactive and I hope men really analyze.
Yup. I have been experiencing the same thing.
100% !!! Social media has definitely damaged women more than men, women are rewarded for being narcissistic and provocative, and therefore men are given too much choice that they didn't use to have. Also you know what else annoys me? Men - especially good looking men say that they don't like fake looking girls with fake boobs, hair, lips, fillers etc - yet WHO are the ones they always end up going after and end up in a relationship with - Instagram girls!! SO infuriating!! Makes you feel like you are not good enough just the way you are, no wonder girls are so insecure ☹
Yes, they’re not alphas and lack the masculinity to take the lead... they have to earn our investment and attention.
@@georginalewis837 One thing about me is I never let myself feel insecure. Try to work on that. It is VERY annoying men lately I agree with you say they don't want one thing yet go for another thing. I've had men attracted to me and even when I do approach they still play around or its someone I am not into but I'm direct. I feel the act of 'committing' is really being lost and its being acceptable in society to 'play house' and in the end people get really hurt. Social media in general is destroying youth and no one knows how to handle emotions. All the men I have encountered so far do not know how to handle emotion even when they are doing well in life. That is a signal to me. Sorry I went on a ramble but my point is it not your fault and don't ever think it (unless of course its valid) when with a man. I really encourage you to watch Breeny Lee she really impacting videos!
I always believe that the right one will come by, and when he does you'll be wondering where he has been all your life. A little cheesy, but hopeful
It's okay to be single. One must first be happy within themselves or you are not ready to be with anybody at this given moment in time.
Agreed
We see ourselves reflected back through relationship. i am a senior and happily single woman who knows this. We can discover nothing alone.
I think Matthew has been exceptionally raw, vulnerable and honest here. See his eyes.
He seems quite sad though
@@honeysugar1 yes.. I dunno why!
“ their intentions aren’t bad, their just different from yours “
*they’re
This is what happens when two people with great energy get together - An amazing discussion.
Goodness when he said “what world are you living in where things aren’t work?” 🎯
100% facts
Any good thing takes work, but it rewards with equal pleasure. But not because they are difficult to manage. But because we care and invest our time and energy (work). But then we also reap the satisfying rewards. If a relationship starts feeling like more work than pleasure, that is when it is time to reevaluate...
I'm a dude listening to this podcast/conversation and it has truly put my mind at ease about having "the talk," as I can hear it from a man's AND woman's point-of-view. No, it won't be an easy conversation, but after this, I feel ready to speak the words from my heart, but in a practical, proper way that will give off my masculine energy, but in a way that's edifying, safe, supportive, and authentic. This 48 minute video is way better than the hundreds of videos from so-called experts who strategize by game-playing because the concepts discussed here are based on authentic admiration, respect, connection, guarding each other's hearts and looking out for each other's best interests.
Thank you.
Hello dear
What a line "If the reaction is hysterical it means it's historical (from our past wounds)"
From psychoanalysis
The more you love yourself the quicker and less you will fall for all types of 'traps' in the relationship 😊
If you're reading it, look in to the mirrow and say I Love myself ❤️
Love myself and you too!
I love this guy. He is so charismatic and so respectful with women. He deserves all the best.
And for all the girls here, forget about looks or money (I know it’s not easy). Focus in someone that truly cares about you and treats you with respect. Someone you feel that you can trust.
This is exactly what I needed to hear today . I did this . Created a story before we even dated because I knew this person already and just really wanted it to happen . My expectations were unrealistic and ultimately pushed this person away . I did react from a trigger on my past relationships and I totally regret how I reacted and responded when it ended before it even happened . Now I have watched this - I’m going to use this for my future relationships and reflect on my actions . I’m hurting right now but I’m glad I watched this .
I no a powerful man who can help you get your ex back immediately
Massage him on WhatsApp inbox
I don’t settle. I’d rather be alone than settle. My choices though have left me with a broken heart.
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Don't complain later on then
@@madking1021 I won’t.
@@julieadamson6398 just wait.....
I love the 'am I an insane person' moment, it is true how we can get excited and create a whole relationship when we feel a connection with someone. Love this episode, lots of great advice.
I think we also have to keep in mind that ...
1. Some people just don't text back right away and that doesn't necessarily mean anything horrific.
2. Sometimes the other person has fears and doubts and they might be overthinking the whole thing just like you are.
the guy I'm seeing, one of the first things we said to each other at the SAME TIME: " I MISS UNDERSTOOD YOUR TEXT." how crazy is that?
No, I think if they like you, they would make an effort. Unless they’re 15 I think most adult men should be confident enough to respond.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
I don’t think total compatibility is not necessary or even possible. There must be an amount of acceptance towards the other’s hobbies or likes. Whilst you do this, she or he can do that and together we do other things. That should work well.
Did you ask her if she was happy to be with you ??
I love how Lisa doesnt interrupt and just let Matthew speak. Have also watched other videos from Women of Impact i.e with Evy (Former Secret Service Agent), and I just wanted to say that with this channel YOU WILL LEARN A LOT! Words/thoughts that you cannot articulate or know what its called? You will learn it here! I feel privileged to be an audience. Thank you Lisa!
It's so annoying when people interrupt others. That happens to me at work,or they walk away while I'm talking. Have you ever seen the view? I've only seen clips but those women interrupt all the time
I’ll just say this: if a guy really wants you, you know. You just know.
We sure know it ... but there are plenty of folks who just like to flirt. (Just sayin’)
absolutely true. it's simple really
I dated a psychopath! It was really hard with all the acting!
Totally agree babe
@@pennyprayer764 lol this proves op's point. A guy who flirts isn't necessarily showing interest- he could just like the attention. A guy who wants you will make all the effort in the world.
"We're never getting anywhere in life unless we put ourselves on the line to some extend." That was brilliant on Matthew's end to say that. You know, nowadays I don't get to watch as much of his content as I used to, but I'm so proud of him and proud of the fact that everytime I do get to see sth, he still gets across his mission of improving not just our romantic relationships and interpersonal relationships in general but OUR relationship with ourselves.
Other brilliant insight: your fear of the answer it's gonna put in the way of so much more pain than the pain of the answer you're afraid to get.
This is the best interview I've seen with him. Honest, vulnerable, awesome.
This is the sweetest thing ever hearing him talk about rejection in the coffee shop! I always think “I’m so lucky I’m a female and don’t have to make the first move, it must be so scary” .. but maybe I should!! I’ve realised I actually go as far as completely ignoring people I find attractive 😂 just blanking them completely. I need to give out vibes that I like them!
Sooo true 😂 time to try something else 😉
@@LisaBilyeu the sad part is this... you think that is us who have to make the move when all along you could have done the same... So sad tbh. Especially when you think about it.
Theres alot of regret there i bet. Because your scared because your to good or whatever you whant to use as an excuse...
But heres the thing. I dont regret a thing cause atleast i tried failed sure... but i got her! can you say the same? no i bet you cannot say the same.
Omg I tend to ignore people I'm attracted to out of terror haha
@@jaimierose2985 well why? what is the worst that can happend? No im sorry im taken or im sorry im not into you.
that is litterly it... right? so why are you being so scared again? Trust me you miss out.
@@sebulller yeah, you're right! It's something I'm actually working on now. There's someone I'm gonna try and ask out next week! You don't know unless you try. So, thank you!!
“We’re a biased judge, we can’t be trusted” I felt that. So true.
We don't need so called experts telling us all this, we just need to know what integrity & goid character are & a person if both of those will treat you right & value you as a person...it's that simple...they will keep their word, be honest & straight forward, & their won't be any guessing games. They will also be transparent, so you won't ever get mixed signals or inconsistencies. Before you look for a partner, find out who you are...believe in your value & worth, & the right person will come along & you'll know they are the right one. We need to stop making this so complicated.
The right person, will never come along. It is aaaannnn old outdated message. Wrrrrooonngg
@@keepcreationprocess that's probably why you don't have an amazing relationship, your perspective is wrong....do you have a healthy perspective & love for yourself? Do you know what healthy behavior & attitudes are in your life & relationships? People generally pick out partners according to what they are taught & how they feel & see themselves. How do you view women? If you want a good women, have you become the kind of man a good woman will be attracted to & deserve? It sounds like you're going in the wrong direction for picking partners.
exactly....integrity... i said that to myself...its so hard to find
Sometimes you need to go through the rough patches in the beginning of trying to get to know someone better.
Then over time, a relationship develops into something good.
I don't know about that. Usually people tend to put their best shoe forward.
I'm now in the longest and healthiest relationship i've ever had because I asked my boyfriend out.🤩😍
Let's see how long will it take you to leave him
Women initiated the interest in men they want for thousands of years, but then, they used to know what they want.
@@alexk2049 and women rejected these women and went after hot chicks who played them
Am so proud 🥲 of you I hope you guys stay together forever. I commend your bravery🙌👏👏
He's amazing!! So true! I'm a psychologist now & when I was younger men would hit on me constantly & I was acutely aware of the way I handled it, I would NEVER be rude, never in front of their friends, & quite often go out of my way to talk to them so they didn't FEEL rejected. Of course things happened anyway at times.
Men are very sensitive, they just don't always show it due to cultural expectations.
Thank God no internet back then!!!
Men see a pretty girl, & think she must be wonderful ( used to). Now they see a threat. It's called the "halo effect" good-looking people are good people who also have a load of other positive qualities. Today it's the opposite.
I've only dated 1 person in my early 20's, I married him it waz a disaster!! Every other relationship I've been friends for at least 1 yr before entering a relationship & investing myself in it.
Not saying everyone should do that...but seeing how someone responds across a variety of situations tells you who they are....and I'm still friends with each & every one of them...because I like them as a friend, & they are important to me outside a romantic situation. Breaking up might have been rough, but the foundation survives & there is love there regardless. All my decade long friendships are with males...my girlfriends eventually screwed me over & were phased out.
Dating is set up to fail. Being afraid of being alone is another issue.
Glad to see someone not encouraging the current gender wars!!!!.
I hope this gives someone a idea. Much love all♥️♥️🌎🌎⚡⚡♾♾
So while being friends, (sensitive topic here) did you just stay celibate or were you guys friends with benefits?
I had a coworker who was friends with a guy first for a long time, I was wondering the same thing, she later revealed that she and him had been friends with benefits after breaking up with boyfriend.
Yes to the 'four stages':
1. Admiration
2. Connection/"Chemistry"
3. Commitment
4. Compatibility
I am a master of the first two - perhaps i will level up my game now..! Thanks for the conversation Lisa 🙏 😊
i fell for you just looking at you walkin the office, plus the feel of your hand holding mine made me feel so secure in the world so sure of who I am, confident in me as well as you. you are and you have been the completehappiness of my entire lifffe. stay just as you are. You are perfect for me. I hope I can be as good for you as you have been for me. PERFECT. F for salways yours . F
Thank you for taking your time to write this down
WOW. It took my literally FOR-EV-ER to get through this video because I had to keep replaying/relistening to so much of what he was saying!! Everything he was saying totally showed me just how much conditioning/learned behavior/experiences, that I think myself and most women have to unlearn and have to retrain our brains to think. I'm 30 now (married, a 3yr. old boy and a 4yr. old girl) I'm not saying I settled but he's teaching is giving me new ways of thinking and approaching things with my husband and our relationship and how I communicate with him that I never even considered when we first started dating. I mean let's be honest this is not the sort of dating wisdom most women received when growing up (especially from our female relatives/parents/friends/teachers/mentors- no less the male figures in our lives). I mean how much heartache and bullets would we have saved ourselves from and dodged had we entered into our prime (dating) learning years with THIS!!🤯🤯🤯😵 This definitely shows me where I can help to improve my relationship with my husband but also how I can teach my daughter to have a successful and healthy (healthier) approach/perspective to dating whoever she chooses aside from what society says she should do or is considered safe and normal. We all need to have healthy, open, honest, intimate, mature emotional relationships with all genders even if they don't end in life-long marriages.
It's really easy: Say exactly what you mean and mean what you say. Be HONEST and be yourself. Be courteous and look for the best in others. Listen. Be happy and share your happiness. If you feel the need to put someone else down, move on. Life's too short.
I'm a guy and I love watching Matthew hussey. What he says applies often to both sexes.
Answers give you power over self, wondering makes you feel powerless. So true
Literally someone just told me last week that why and why things couldn't work out for us and I was like oh we can do this and that and solve the problem together! Turned out that was really the end of our story and "whether or not this logic is true is not for me to figure out". How powerful this line is 😭
Matt Hussey is one of th emost genuine, kind and authentic public figure who makes a massive impact on men and women all around the world. He’s constantly learning and engaging his people and members to give advce and empowers. He truly transforms people. I’m one of those people. Saved my life in many ways x
"If someone is telling you something, that would make their life more difficult if they tell you, then it's probably true."
I am more interested on Matthew’s skin care routine. 😄
take vitamin e and flax oil every day
😂
British skin
This helps my anxiety so much from panic attacks to meeting someone. To dealing with heartbreak.
I just started following Women of Impact a few weeks ago but I have been following Matthew for a few years. It was a pleasant surprise to see him on here today.
Love this so much!
So great to hear! Glad you enjoyed the episode 🙌
This is so crazy! I never went after a man like the one I have now and it was near animalistic that I had to have him even though he was so shy! He later confessed that my bulldozing effect was exactly what he needed and five years later we are still so perfect together. We truly feel. Love this channel and awesome video!! Nice to know how to improve and when to be happy you've done something right!
SarahDunlap
Good for you! 👍
And, it's good to read that there isn't a one fits all way of getting together, or staying together!
Humans are very different, and variable. I think it's a big mistake to always go by the so called rules...
Although, usually, chasing a man as a woman doesn't bring much, but often a breakup or ignorance from the man. Alas.
I also really didn't recognise myself, last year, being full of extreem high energy, happiness, and chasing a man I really appreciated a lot, and him me. I lost track of my own self for a 1.5 month!! (That 1.5 month seemed like a year, for me!! For him, it only was like three weeks!) He gave me the ice cold shoulder, soon after.
A huge rejection, I never had been through before!! It's horrible. And, a year later, here I am, still thinking about him, and the why and how... Especially because I knew that he did love me... And, he wanted so much to be together. But his past fears caught up with him. And, he flung it onto me, that way. Very nasty. 😓
When I showed him how much he meant to me, by showing up once at a different time, because I thought he was in need at that moment. (Wrong, but due to no or afterwards bad communication on his side, I thought it better to see him, fast). He took that action of mine so badly, to reject me bluntly and harshly. Although I explained afterwards. He's not a good communicator, when he thinks someone wants to hurt him. (Which I certainly didn't!).
I won't go into detail, but he's way too mucked up inside and too complicated for me. Strange, because he too, like your man, is very shy and introverted. But doesn't show it really. And, he did appreciate my way of approaching him, and being there for him! He said so, many times.
I still don't know what really happened in his head or life, at the moment of rejection. He still hasn't told me, properly... After 7 long months, no contact, (I forced myself), I only went to see him for a few brief moments, like his birthday. He was cold and seeked to be nasty... It's a transfer, from his past onto me, but he doesn't seem to want to register that. I've tried to tell him. He's is a very bad listener, alas. And, thinks he's superior, just because of his studies...(Alrhough, I'm more studied!). But, he's done some immense stupid things. Like making his business go backrupt, by corrupting huge amounts of money, having wrong associates, etc... But, he's ever so proud... Fled his country, and started from scratch here... Being a slave in a fast food!! Owes his country billions, and should be in prison. But strange enough it doesn't seem to bug him that much...
He's just after the money here, again!! And, I thought he was a spiritual being, because he did show me that side of him, too!!!! Wishful thinking!
So, I don't seek any contact any longer. He can get it up his!
It took me a year, to unhook.
He will find out soon what he did to me. The Universe will tell him, and show him. Because the worst is what he did to himself. And I'm very sad about that. It hit hard. He's a masochist.
It will hit harder into him, now, I'm sure. Time will tell. In an ideal world, afcourse I'd wish all of this wouldn't have happened! And, that we'd be happily together!
But, this is the real world !
I wish for a balanced, harmonious, kind, caring, responsible and giving man, and for a blissful loving and long-lasting relationship. 🙏💖
Take care, 🤗
22:00 Inception
37:00 Asking the hard questions early. Which can become harder to ask as time rolls over.
40:00 questions
1. What is something which I don't have you want/wish/desire in your partner? (What's the right word though)
2. What's that thing I used to do & you really admired?
2.
Love switches
As a guy I really appreciate these conversations and I don't even know how many times I had to rewind and mull these points. As a guy though I'd say that I"m not scared of being asked big scary questions, but I'd say that I don't even know where I'd start with asking big scary questions, or how to lead a conversation into those avenues of conversation. So I'd add a caveat to the "if hes interested he'll ask the hard questions."... I'd say, "I'll show you my interest by making you a priority.".. I'll take the guess work out. Love is a verb.
40:00 absolutely agree about the 'wondering' being more painful than asking the question and getting the truth.
“It has potential...but there’s nothing to mourn over right now” oh wow. Yeah I always get caught up missing someone because of what I’m looking forward to in the future
Woah! 😲 we have a male guest! and it is Mathew Hussey 😍🤗 I've been his subscriber for years...
Haha! He’s worthy don’t you think 😉❤️
If you feel it....you feel it and act on that. Some folks are shy...take the initiative..give them an open.. if you want this person...assert yourself and THEN if they are still complacent...you will know
I just realised that even though i've had crushes I have never invested in anyone in a more than friendly manner. I onced walked up to a guy after staring at him a bit too long lol but that's it
Damn. "Attention doesn't mean intention." MY mind is absolutely positively blown away with just that sentence.....oh Matthew.
Can we just pause and look at Matthew's perfect glowing skin
what’s on the inside shows on the outside 💘🥺
He seems hurt
@Jessica
Yes he looks under the weather !!
@Jordan Atlin I thought that as well! In his last few videos as well. Maybe it's the lighting? Or he's not getting enough sleep?
I was waiting for someone to say that... Sad that a man had to say that...
“Invest in those who invest in you”
I like how she asked “where do you start then”
The man needs to initiate
As a woman. You respond but don’t initiate
That's the whole 48 mins not need to watch. This statement is enough. There is no hard written rules who should initiate every person is different and some guys like a women to initiate some guys dont. Humans are complex.
@@MimiAndM1niMe2184 men say that they want one thing but their brains are wired to respond to other things . Their brains need to chase. It’s pure biology.
When they say that they want women to initiate, they mean “I want Rihanna to initiate with men”. It’s never the case. Only an insecure woman chases a man. And this is why the man is turned off. If you chase him, it means there is something wrong with you. In nature, the feminine is looking for the best candidate for her egg. She waits for the males to prove that they have the best genes
Yeah guys and it’s literally coded into the physical world: the sperm chases the egg. The best sperm wins.
@Cindy Lou sorry queen I put a Thumb down on your message because I didn’t read it well
Yes. It’s the ego boost 100%. It gives them the confidence to go chase their dream girl
This episode was fire!! 🔥🔥🔥 I have followed the Hussey for years but every interview I watch of his brings me something new, and has me nodding vigorously! Truth bombs galore 💣
🔥🔥🔥
Building stories before anything actually happened. That is sooo me...over and over again. I guess I'm really lonely and wish for perfect stories when all is in my head.
When Mathew said find someone who is invested in you, always there when you need him, I immediately thought of any man in my life and found no one 😭😭.
We must love ourselves first bc if we do not love ourselves first, we will always feel hurt by others over anything....so and yes I do love myself and yes I am fine on my own....and others will see that about me..
People give Matthew Hussey a lot of crap for either pandering to women or just trying to get them to change to please a man. But if you actually listen to what he’s saying…it makes sense and takes both women and men’s struggles in dating into account. I think his content has improved significantly as well. It’s less click bait.
Ladies....no disrespect to Matthew, but life is too short to be wasting time and emotion trying to decode what a guy's actions mean and what he is really thinking etc. It's really very simple - if a man wants you, they will make the effort; if they don't, they won't! If you really want to learn something, check out Lisa's interview with Evy Pompouras from a few weeks ago. Now THAT is a lady who won't put up with anyone's crap 💪
Word.
Yeah even I feel the same.
Some of Matthew videos make women go for pleasing men.
Yep.
Damn straight!
How is he a relationships expert? He has never been married and never had a long term relationship - another BS story that will come to light when the truth hits
I think we create the story he's talking about in several situations in your lives, not just with dating, but with anything new we're excited/afraid about. For example with a new job, with going through some changes, anything that might significantly change our lives.
Action speaks louder than words.
watch his actions, ignore his words.
I follow him, and he just gives me confirmation, that i was just following common sense and don't over think things that a guy says, and they will tell you what they are looking for.so i listen and it saves me alot of time😁
I love what you say about the value of an relationship. It is like your business. Little by little you'd don't look after your business. It will slowly phase out. Good analogy.
The hard truth is that no one is really that into anyone. We are all actually becoming less relational as a society.
It's amazing how Lisa empatheticly listening about women suffering no matter she is in happy marriage🥺 Thank you, Lisa!
Oh my.. there is so much goodness and truth in this. The whole thing about being afraid of the answer :( mine was “do you see marriage in your future” I finally struck up the courage to ask and the answer was “I don’t know”
Hurt me with the truth, but never comfort me with a lie (I forget who said it). Better to know where you stand ❤️
@@cindy-tron Exactly! I left him 2 months ago. I could no longer be with someone who’s luke warm about me! I know I deserve someone who loves the way I do !!
I asked him those difficult questions, now I know he truly loves me, and we have a timeline to marriage now! This is 4 months into the relationship.
Never stay in a toxic relationship ❤️❤️
these questions can change your relationship dynamics.
"What did u want in a partner that I dont have?
What was I did I used to do for you, that I dont do for you now that you wish I did?"
damn that was deep.
Ugh, screw this. There's no excuse for not being clear with people and not respecting them. I don't care what's between your legs. Women AND men shouldn't have to decode what is being said to them.
Totally agree 👏
I agree. Hussey is actually victim-blaming by putting the onus on women to decode manipulative males. Disgusting.
@@TxHoneyBee I disagree. He never states that we as women HAVE TO decode anyone and to obey the man blindly, but gives a guidance to BE ABLE TO decode what is/what could be manipulation, to make a distinction what is manipulation and what is the truth, and how to deal with any manipulation in a proper, bold and self-respectful way. Nicely said, well-worded phrases and masculine, strong approach don't guarantee true and sincere feelings behind them, the same way shyness and waiting on a girl to approach don't mean a guy is not interested and should be rejected as not interested/weak etc. He explained it extremely well in the beginning of the video. And although actions do speak louder than words, attention doesn't mean intention.
We think differently and communicate differently. Communication is key. He is showing us how to see the situation from a males perspective. How can you decode a language you don’t speak? Emotions and getting rejected causes blockages to communications.
@@Raray200 exactly. Beautifully said.
Lisa is doing amazing things with this channel. Improving mindsets and lives! Love it
God.... I luv Matt. He's so intuitive, so much warmth and empathetic in his answers. How we should react in situations with others. ❤️
Truth bombs! This even applies to platonic friendships. When things are too one-sided it makes for a difficult friendship. Who meets you half way? They are the ones that are good for you!
I've learned so much about my current successful relationship and look forward to bringing these tools to make it even more successful. You both are so incredible and rational. I can't thank you enough.
"In what world do you live in where there's no work..." yes 👍
I loved someone at 18. Its been 10 years since he broke up with me. It still hurts and I haven’t been able to love another person since. 😞💔😔
I've recently got into a relationship with a younger guy, I'm 49 he's 35... so far it's amazing... there's no difference from dating a guy my own age. Infact it's so much easier. He still relates to my life experiences and vice versa... I don't feel I'm having to compensate in any way.... we just seem to work... really well. He's amazing.
i've always gravitated more toward older guys too.. i'm kind of an old soul myself for 40..
I feel like what tends to get complicated is some of the older ones (who've been married before, have kids/grandkids,) tend to have some baggage, if you will....and it gets a little harder to set a solid foundation. Sometimes you are at different life stages also, which can make things complicated... But don't let any of that discourage you...just some aspects to be aware of and open-minded about.
Ouuuh. Loved Matthew for a long time, and Lisa more recently (but I looove the idea that there is a show helping us women to be our own hero). Two beautiful people gathered. With such inspiring ideas. And Lisa facial expression 😂 she's like genuinely in the conversation. Thank you 🖤