What cured me is after a night of heavy drinking, I experienced diarrhea while walking down the sidewalk and had to quickly duck into the bushes for an explosion I didn't anticipate. I thanked God for those bushes cause I would've been one BIG, STINKY mess, totally embarrassed and not very ladylike ... my alcoholism ended that day, twenty years ago!
We don’t want to lose you Slayer, you are such an amazing soul and the world needs you! You re inspirational and so glad to have found you 😊 Please stay sober, stay strong! Much love friend. -Nebula moon
I remember that LD video about a 'letter to alcohol' so I tried it out myself but something unexpected happened. As I wrote the letter, I got extremely emotional and ripped up the paper in anger before I finished writing. I still haven't finished that letter but I remember my reaction and that alone stuck with me for some reason.
Very understandable man, I got super emotional just writing that small letter. I think part of me has been holding back writing a full in depth letter because I know how many emotions will rise. It’s definitely an interesting experiment to do. Much love as always brotha, god bless 💯
@afterhourscinema782 something is very interesting about these letters!! I never did that, but recall the LD video, and it seemed so cathartic to him. I'll ponder it more ...thanks !
Your letter from Daemon made me cry. It is like having an emotionally abusive boyfriend who tells you, "I am your only friend and the only one who really cares about you" when nothing could be further from the truth.
You're ahead of me again... Sadly I have had drinks again. Lil bro I watch every video. I'm going to write that letter.... goodbye to alcohol....I think it will help me to move forward. I didn't think I would have a hard time giving up on this....then again we are talking about a demonic situation. Again thanks for the video.
Hey Jerome you’re not behind me man. You have the desire to stop and you haven’t given up, which means we are both in the same spot. It’s like LD says you’re only a failure if you give up. Write that letter brother, let some things off your chest. I appreciate you being on this journey with me man, keep me updated and you got this!! 💪🙏
Hell yes always a consequence every time I drank. Lost wallets, phones, credit cards, vehicles and of course incarceration! Keep speaking the truth my friend!!
The day after a night of heavy drinking for me can get terrible for my nervous system. I start to feel anxiety and sometimes when I'm eating i shake when putting it to my mouth. My head would shake just looking to the left or right. Buying stuff from the gas station and shaking. It's embarrassing. Almost like a panic attack coming on and the anxiety can get so bad I didn't even want to be around anyone in fear they would notice. But I am so happy I don't have to worry about that feeling anymore now that I am about 9 months sober. I sleep so much better and my dreams are better too. What was once a fun good time turns into a nightmare. the monster like you said. Also like you said, time wasted. all that time is gone. I remember several camping trips and different vacations that I can't even remember most of it because of stupid alcohol. That's another thing that is terrible with alcohol. Forgetting the good times that should be remembered. But if you keep drinking you are literally throwing all the good memories down the drain. Drink alcohol and piss it all down the drain along with the good memories. Could you imagine going to like Hawaii and just wasting it all because you drank too much? What a shame. Hawaii is beautiful and I am so happy that I really didn't drink too much so I could remember it. Oops this comment got long... lol Stay strong bro!
Don’t apologize for the comment being long brotha, this comment shows exactly why you deserve to be sober today. You’re such a chill dude, you remind me a lot of myself haha. Good dudes just wrapped up in a really, really bad addiction. I can almost always relate to everything you say. I’m really glad we are both sober today!!! Away from that poison!! Much love brotha. 💯👏☝️
@@Slayer-7373 for sure man! Great minds think alike. Support each other! It’ll help us stay sober too. You’re chill as hell too. That’s my favorite kind of people. Caring respectful people. As long as we can stay sober, otherwise the demon can come out and that’s not who we are lol. Here’s to sobriety! 🙏💫💪❤️🐯🦁🌲🍃🌞🌻🌼🌸🌎
Been clean since August, my demon isn't alcohol, more like benzos and strong opioids. And the fact I tend to use opioids that get stronger and stronger is scaring me. In August I got me stuff (won't name it so nobody else tries it) that was 4x as strong as fentanyl, and in a weak moment I put stuff that's 20x as strong as fentanyl in my eyes. I know if i relapse it will be the 20x stuff and I know as soon as I take the first dose, I won't stop until I have nothing left. It scares me that my next time relapsing could very well be the end of me Im doing it on my own, but im currently seeing an addiction professional every other week so I don't relapse Talking about - and understanding your addiction is key! Know your triggers and try to stay away from them I really feel bad for alcoholics, their poison is in every grocery store, gas station and restaurants If Xanax or Valium was as accessible as alcohol is, i wouldn't last a day sober
Good work on your sobriety from opiates. You have turned addiction off so now keep it off. Hopefully you have " a life " that you value and enjoy and are doing lots of good healing. **I hope you have hugs for when you are afraid. Try not to obsess about drugs and your predicament. You have turned addiction off and that's the End now. Don't flirt with relapse or stay in your head for long. Thoughts may come, but don't put the kettle on for them. Don't isolate. Find a mens group if interested. Learn to dance Salsa --- Stay well.
Congratulations on your sobriety brotha!!! That is fricken epic!! Keep on that path my friend, do whatever it takes. Same as you I’m scared of relapses at this point. We must stay away completely!! And guess what our lives will be better for it. It’s interesting too that you say that about the booze being so easily accessible because a m3th addict once told me the same thing. He said he felt bad for us and he could never stay sober if he could just go get it at the gas station. Trust me my friend it disgust me and it is really rough. When I goto the store to get food I have to watch as people walk right by me with my dr*g of choice. Right there in my face tempting me. It’s something I guess we have to get use to with our society. Anyways thanks brotha for the awesome comment and again congrats. 🙏
@@Slayer-7373 thanks bro, I really appreciate the kind words Your community is really a place where people with similar issues get together and support each other, which is awesome
Awesome letter! I can relate. Alcohol does tell you that you can get a temporary relief from anxiety. Alcohol isn't lieing about that, but it never mention how many problems it causes.
Beautiful and powerful video. I have chills because every word youve spoken has been exactly my life for nearly the past decade as well. Thank you for all that you do. That is one of your many purposes on this planet, to speak to people and to move them. ❤❤
I’m praying for you brother. Been there. Keep going!!! The devil come to kill steal and destroy but Jesus came to give life in abundance. I can’t emphasize enough, How SPIRITUAL addiction is. Light/dark. It’s all real! I’m proud of you.
Great seeing you brother! When I was in IOP, we also wrote letters to our addiction. Afterwards, we went outside on a cold winter night and lit our letters on fire in a barrel! It was relieving. Take care man! ODAAT!
Hey get seeing your brother!! I love the idea of going and burning it. Maybe I should take the remainder of the letter and burn it haha. Much love brotha!! One day at a time 💪💯
100% dude, I actually want to make a video today on alcohol and the spirit world for Halloween. I’m super busy but I really hope I can make time for it!!! Thanks as always brother, let’s both be on guard today. 🙏💯
Glad you doing well brotha. Was just about to make a comment about alcohol being an entity before you said it. Once i started thinking of my addictions as entities it made the relapses easier to get through as I used to hate myself after every relapse and feel guilt but now I realize that they've been in the game longer than me so I can't beat myself up over relapses as ive had these addictions for years all that negative evergy over the years builds up inside us and its a very tough opponent to beat. These entities feed off our emotions. The guilt, sadness anger is like glue that just sticks you to that old frequency. I might just write a letter to weed and porn later tonight. And that letter to weed is gonna be tough because it used to actually benefit me it really did but the relationship has just gotten so toxic I can't keep doing it. The letter to porn will be way easier as that shit hasnt benefitted me in any way ever since i started watching it at 10 years old. And weed and porn go hand and hand for me which fucking sucks.
Thank you brotha as always 💯! Also yea dude I agree. It’s actually really helpful to view our addictions as evil sinister entities. Exactly what you just said, they feed off of our pain and suffering. They know what makes us tick, what hurts us and they play off of it. They are leeches and their ultimate goal is to ☠️ us. Write those letters brotha, when you’re ready. Take your time and really put your soul into it. I plan to write a way more in depth letter to booze myself. W33d and prn are both ninja addictions. They sneak in so subtle and next thing you know you got a problem. We just gotta keep doing the right thing and battling the dark arts. Anyways much love brotha!! 💯 be easy
Wow Slayer. I’m so impressed with the letters. Your knowledge and drive are strong and looks like you have focused on what alcohol does ruin lives . You are smart beyond your young age. I’m very proud of you in your journey. Alcohol never ends up positive. You have given addicts a lot to think about and no doubt help som folks stay or get sober. So happy for you Slayer. You sound so uplifted. I love you too. GOD 🎊 be with you! 💚💚🎉. Also. Yay for your channel growth 😍
Powerful stuff, Slayer! I think if alcohol could have written a letter to me, it would have said the exact same things as in your letter! A bunch of lies, manipulation, and trying to make me feel guilty about giving up alcohol. I do remember writing a goodbye letter to alcohol; it was an assignment I had to do during my stay in rehab as an inpatient. I did 28 days, and we all had to write goodbye letters to our drugs of choice! It was one of the hardest things I had to do because it made me think of everything I've been through during my alcoholism. The good times, the fun, the parties, but mostly all the chaos, drama, and turmoil alcohol brought to my life. I couldn't help but get emotional as I was writing it because it really was like saying goodbye to my best friend. Then I realized that alcohol took way more away from me than it could ever give to me, and that I don't want it in my life anymore! I saw LD's video where he read his goodbye letter to alcohol, and it is also one of my favorite of his videos. Prayers to LD, glad he's out of the hospital, too! Addiction really is the master of deception. In the beginning, everything seems perfect, like a sweet dream that you don't ever want to wake up from, but eventually everything goes to sh!t , and all those good feelings are replaced with sadness, guilt, anger, and more anxiety than ever before. Little by little, all the things that mean something to you disappear like friends, family, spouse, hobbies, etc. Our lives really are much better without alcohol or drugs, and if we do the work, we can regain a lot of what we lost, and rebuild those broken relationships. This video really hits hard, Slayer. Thanks a lot man! God bless!! ❤
Hey David thank you as always brother!!! Thank you as well for sharing. I think our drinking was very similar at times. I got emotional too writing the letter. Like you said it feels like saying bye to a best friend, but it’s not our friend. It’s our enemy and deep down we know that. I’m glad we are both sober today David!!! On this journey with this community. God bless, one day at a time my friend. 🙏
What's up, man? I've done this before in treatment. I think the last time I did the letter it was just two words. Those words. Good video, buddy. What emotionally jarring images.
Yo what’s up shades! Also interesting haha. It seems like a lot of treatment programs did this activity. Also I know right 🤣, we were all cracking up the whole time he was drawing them. Giving him sh*t the whole time. Thanks as always brotha!! Hope you are well my friend.
@@Slayer-7373 Whether it was by design, or the guy has no artistic talent whatsoever, the drawings were masterpieces inadvertently. Yes, I am well man. Over four months now.
:) thanks so much salina, I’m happy it’s helping. Also heck yea!!!! 👏💪☝️ that is what I’m talking about! Congratulations on 1 month!!! Keep winning over this monster!
Never feel U owe me a response. I know you're busy. Great Vid. Loved the letters. Group leader sounds like he's helpful & knowledgeable - Interesting activity that I know will help each of us. Thanks so much for sharing. Brilliant Point U made that you are already whole & wonderful without the booze. U mentioned booze gave U confidence to speak to girls. Pro Tip -- IF you feel you can trust the girl, & want to share with her, tell her that you can be shy or a little uptight talking & later that 'you are building confidence as a social creature'. ( We all are ). A girl who is worth your time will love your honestly, that you shared & were honest. I mean that. ** ALSO -- Silence is absolutely beautiful Too. Let her or any friend do more of the talking & don't feel you need to fill in all the silent spots. We as human beings can learn to be comfortable with silence which is also full life. To just stand in the silence & let it burn us. We will feel awkward which may feel a bit painful and that's absolutely OK as we learn abt ourselves. Like, OH I never noticed that I can't stand silence with friends. IF you are nervous that's OK. Feelings come to us to be felt. Let the silent spaces be Empty ( they are so full ). **You are smart, funny, cute & exude charisma. Stand in those truths my friend. We are not in control really of what's going on so hand yourself over to the Aliveness whatever it is in this moment. You call it God, I call it aliveness. Be more in your body, less in your head. Hope it's OK I make suggestions. I am well meaning. I do know too that you are in good hands with your program & therapy. I am proud of you for doing this hard work. I am proud of each of us here
I’ll always reply Judith 🙏🙏 I love talking to y’all. I appreciate your advice too thank you!!!! You always drop wisdom and knowledge!!! You make me think and i appreciate that more than you know. You always are here showing love 🙏🖤 god bless my friend.
Glad you’re back. Just trying to end 5 month relapse after 8 months sober after 40 yrs drinking. Relapse sucks. I wound up drinking increasing amounts every day because I felt like an asshole for relapsing.
Hey brother the fact that you went 8 months shows me you can 100% do it. That is NOT an easy thing to do at all! You see it for what it is, just get back on that wagon when you can. God bless and thank you!!
The letter from alcohol to you was interesting bro. It really is like alcohol talks to me like that when i get a serious urge. Its almost a evil sort of romance. Thanks for the vid
The shark teeth uuugh! You gave it shark teeth. Creepiest hallucination I've had, seeing my dad's severed head insise my purse, pitch black eyes and he smiled and there they were, shark teeth with blood on them. Thanks slay, not sleeping tonight. Jk. Love tje drawings! They are hilariously creepy lol, the 3 girls ones hahahaha I prolly shouldn't be laughing but I just can't with this. This reminds me to let the bad memories go that alcohol has brought to all of us struggling, the DTs are not worth a heart attack or seizure from hallucinations even after you quit, you get no warning from those. Thanks for the video, this was a profound and funny one and very thoughtful. Good job and congratulations.
@@Slayer-7373 No, don't take it that way, you didn't trigger anything, is just a reminder of how scary alcohol is, so kinda like a wake up call from the nightmare you're experience awake and not in a sleep state. Very scary but don't feel bad cause I don't think anyone wants to go through that at all. Alcohol can take you out without even driving, that's how scary it is. But this was a high spirited video so I thank you for that and thank yourself also to be on the path abolishing this monster/beast.
Gonna draw and name the monsters (whiskey bottles and high ABV beers) and also write both letters; these videos definitely help and always look forward to them; thanks for providing a sense of community!
Do it brother!! This is awesome to hear!! And trust me when I say, y’all help me just as much!! This community is amazing. One day at a time my friend!
Hey Slay - 🥹 I’m not crying you are. The activity you did in your IOP is very powerful. I think we can all benefit from drawing our monster or alter ego. The letters depicted the toxic relationship between you and alcohol. What’s been very clear to me is that regardless of the vice we need to figure out the why. The why IMO is the hardest. Again, regardless of the vice or unhealthy activity. I also think it’s important not to compare each other. Someone can easily assume they’re not as bad by hearing how others consume more. The word functioning needs to be removed from our vocabulary. Anyways, I started watching this last night but decided to pause and rewatch in the am. The morning is when I’m at peace and in the best head space. Anyways, my friend you’re killing it and I love the bling bling! Keep moving forward, don’t look back. Like you said life is a precious gift and our purpose is one of those things many of us struggle a lifetime to figure out. Much love always my friend. 💜
🖤🥹you always uplift me with your words of wisdom micru!!! Nothing but love always!!! God bless you and thank you!!! I still think one day we need to make that big camping trip happen!!! What a trip it would be to have all of us somewhere!!!
@@Slayer-7373 you inspire me!! We all have different stories and paths but there are communalities for sure. As for that meet up, I’ve told you before we have to make that happen, I’m holding you to it. Doesn’t have to happen tomorrow but must happen at some point. It will be epic!! 💜 💜 💫 😊
Man Damon be looking like a crappy anime villan😂. In all seriousness good job with sobriety, very hard to stay sober over here. If there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that I'm not letting my ass get kicked by a guy named Damon🤟
That’s exactly what he looks like 🤣, we were all giving my councilor crap the whole time and laughing. It was a great activity man. Also thanks so much brotha!!! Also yes let’s kick his ass instead haha.
Great activities using two forms of communication. As you say, both create a physical object that can be used to see an issue from a different point of view and also analyze it, discuss it, manipulate it, and even destroy it. Drawing can bring out the unconscious and is definitely a tool that's used in psychological settings. It allows us to express our personality while connecting with others. For example, the "Cane" drawing can remind you of Pinocchio (long nose, lies) or Slipknot. I'm wondering what was wrong with "Doug", he seems chill 😂
6 month sober n released. i quit i just couldn't sleep it's it's been 34 or 36 i just can't sleep. Should i see a doctor or will it pass, my eyes got red my brain feels like cooking up.. need your advice brother
Hey man 👋! 6 months is pretty incredible bro!! That shows you can definitely do this. Also it really just all depends on how bad you’re feeling. Have you been hallucinating? How bad is the shaking? Are you throwing up? My advice to anyone including myself when going through withdrawal is if you feel like you need to goto the doctor/detox, GO! It’s better to be safe than sorry! Ultimately only you know how bad you’re feeling. Reply back when you get a chance brotha!! Be safe! 🙏
💪one day at a time my friend!! Also yea alcohol ruins anything good lol. Anything you’re tryna do good if you throw booze in the mix it ruins it. Much love brotha! 💯
Severe alcoholism is a living hell, a living nightmare. Nothing in my life has came close to anywhere to being as bad as being an alcoholic. This is coming from someone who has been addicted to hard fucking drugs, meth, opioids, benzos. I was addicted to meth from 16-18 and when I started drinking at 18 I never touched hard drugs again. I thought why have I pursued drugs when alcohol is better than all the drugs I've ever done. With alcoholism there is nothing like it. True hell.
Alcohol sounds like the narcissist ex who really wants to get back to their significant other but then isolates them from their family and friends once they are back together.
@@Slayer-7373 Thank you for replying! I was hooked from age 12 and latterly was on 1 litre of vodka and coke over 24h. One day I went into Aldi to get "it" and just turned round and left. "Something" told me to not remember the date etc. or talk about it. So easy! xx (miracles do happen.)
For sure Dominick I’m sorry brotha that I already haven’t!!! I tell you what, after the next video I will make a video discussing that stuff. I promise! 💯 god bless bro.
Slayer....I struggle with this addiction so much. I drink wine out of a Hannah Montana cup that I bought for a quarter at a yard sale like 5 years ago. I am going to draw my alcohol monster. It will look like a crazed child...with messy pigtails and black eyes. I don't even want to think about it. I hate my drunk self. I become this very ridiculous version of myself....like a precocious child in an adult's body. I like to consider myself a high-functioning alcoholic but that is a straight-up lie. I don't function highly. I am a lush for wine and shooters. Every morning I wake up feeling like absolute shit and the only thing I can focus on is having another drink to feel a bit more normal and relaxed. It is the worst way to live. I just want to be the real me again.
It’s not too late for you!!! I know the exact hell you’re living in!! I lived in it for years!!! You can get out of it trust me! Sometimes detox is the only way to break that cycle, break the chain. Because the withdrawals are just so horrific, trust me I know. We do very much drink just to feel normal again, but really it’s just slowly taking us down. How long have you been drinking do you mind me asking? 🙏
@@Slayer-7373 to be honest I have been an addict since I was a young teenager. I started with smoking pot, every day but I slowly graduated over the years to more drugs. I stopped doing drugs in my early 30's but then started drinking alcohol more. (I am 42 years old now). I have been an on-and-off semi-heavy drinker for about 10 years. I would quit, for months at a time but then relapse. This last bout of drinking tho has been going on for about 2 years now. I drink wine every day. About 6 years ago I went to a behavioral rehab type place for a week and then was in an IOP program. I was doing much better then. But I fell back into the hell of drinking. For me to stop now I would need professional detox.
I don't drink. Never have. But my life is terrible, it's been destroyed. It's not just alcohol or drugs that can destroy someone.. But if u don't deal with substance abuse it seems people don't understand or care how awful your life can be.. Why?
Cool...drawing your personal alcohol monster and naming it.i'll do the entire excersize.i should draw pain pills as I always thought I was better on those.goodness that was a terrible problem,I don't recommend it.
Yes Christina please do!!! I would encourage anyone to try this activity for themselves. It’s really eye opening and let’s you view booze from a different angle. Much love to you!! 🙏
Currently in IOP myself after a 30 day inpatient stay. Celebrating 40 days and 40 nights of sobriety today. Thanks for everything you do brother
40 days and 40 nights, that is beautiful my friend!!!! Congratulations!! Proud of you man. One day at a time, let’s keep winning! 🙏god bless.
What cured me is after a night of heavy drinking, I experienced diarrhea while walking down the sidewalk and had to quickly duck into the bushes for an explosion I didn't anticipate. I thanked God for those bushes cause I would've been one BIG, STINKY mess, totally embarrassed and not very ladylike ... my alcoholism ended that day, twenty years ago!
Omg griffin 😂, I shouldn’t laugh but hey it worked to get you sober and that’s all that matters!!! lol thank god.
Much love
We don’t want to lose you Slayer, you are such an amazing soul and the world needs you! You re inspirational and so glad to have found you 😊 Please stay sober, stay strong! Much love friend.
-Nebula moon
:) awe thank you so much nebula!! 🖤 this is is awesome/sweet of you to say. Much love!!
I remember that LD video about a 'letter to alcohol' so I tried it out myself but something unexpected happened. As I wrote the letter, I got extremely emotional and ripped up the paper in anger before I finished writing. I still haven't finished that letter but I remember my reaction and that alone stuck with me for some reason.
Very understandable man, I got super emotional just writing that small letter. I think part of me has been holding back writing a full in depth letter because I know how many emotions will rise. It’s definitely an interesting experiment to do. Much love as always brotha, god bless 💯
@afterhourscinema782 something is very interesting about these letters!! I never did that, but recall the LD video, and it seemed so cathartic to him. I'll ponder it more ...thanks !
You might be the most genuine person ive come across on the entire internet. And i love you for that, thankyou for sharing yourself with the world.
Your letter from Daemon made me cry. It is like having an emotionally abusive boyfriend who tells you, "I am your only friend and the only one who really cares about you" when nothing could be further from the truth.
🖤🥹
You're ahead of me again... Sadly I have had drinks again. Lil bro I watch every video. I'm going to write that letter.... goodbye to alcohol....I think it will help me to move forward. I didn't think I would have a hard time giving up on this....then again we are talking about a demonic situation. Again thanks for the video.
Hey Jerome you’re not behind me man. You have the desire to stop and you haven’t given up, which means we are both in the same spot. It’s like LD says you’re only a failure if you give up. Write that letter brother, let some things off your chest. I appreciate you being on this journey with me man, keep me updated and you got this!! 💪🙏
Just stopped alcohol 🍷 now only Kava best decision I’ve made in a long time. Feel awesome glad you’re doing well 🤙
This is awesome to hear Chris!!! 👏💪good on you brotha!!
Hell yes always a consequence every time I drank. Lost wallets, phones, credit cards, vehicles and of course incarceration! Keep speaking the truth my friend!!
Every single time brotha, every single time!!!
Also will do!! Thank you my friend! 🙏
The day after a night of heavy drinking for me can get terrible for my nervous system. I start to feel anxiety and sometimes when I'm eating i shake when putting it to my mouth. My head would shake just looking to the left or right. Buying stuff from the gas station and shaking. It's embarrassing. Almost like a panic attack coming on and the anxiety can get so bad I didn't even want to be around anyone in fear they would notice. But I am so happy I don't have to worry about that feeling anymore now that I am about 9 months sober. I sleep so much better and my dreams are better too. What was once a fun good time turns into a nightmare. the monster like you said. Also like you said, time wasted. all that time is gone. I remember several camping trips and different vacations that I can't even remember most of it because of stupid alcohol.
That's another thing that is terrible with alcohol. Forgetting the good times that should be remembered. But if you keep drinking you are literally throwing all the good memories down the drain. Drink alcohol and piss it all down the drain along with the good memories. Could you imagine going to like Hawaii and just wasting it all because you drank too much? What a shame. Hawaii is beautiful and I am so happy that I really didn't drink too much so I could remember it. Oops this comment got long... lol Stay strong bro!
Don’t apologize for the comment being long brotha, this comment shows exactly why you deserve to be sober today. You’re such a chill dude, you remind me a lot of myself haha. Good dudes just wrapped up in a really, really bad addiction. I can almost always relate to everything you say.
I’m really glad we are both sober today!!! Away from that poison!! Much love brotha. 💯👏☝️
@@Slayer-7373 for sure man! Great minds think alike. Support each other! It’ll help us stay sober too. You’re chill as hell too. That’s my favorite kind of people. Caring respectful people. As long as we can stay sober, otherwise the demon can come out and that’s not who we are lol. Here’s to sobriety! 🙏💫💪❤️🐯🦁🌲🍃🌞🌻🌼🌸🌎
@DATONEGAMER25 the Monster 👻 👽 metaphor is spot on you guys !!
Been clean since August, my demon isn't alcohol, more like benzos and strong opioids. And the fact I tend to use opioids that get stronger and stronger is scaring me. In August I got me stuff (won't name it so nobody else tries it) that was 4x as strong as fentanyl, and in a weak moment I put stuff that's 20x as strong as fentanyl in my eyes. I know if i relapse it will be the 20x stuff and I know as soon as I take the first dose, I won't stop until I have nothing left. It scares me that my next time relapsing could very well be the end of me
Im doing it on my own, but im currently seeing an addiction professional every other week so I don't relapse
Talking about - and understanding your addiction is key! Know your triggers and try to stay away from them
I really feel bad for alcoholics, their poison is in every grocery store, gas station and restaurants
If Xanax or Valium was as accessible as alcohol is, i wouldn't last a day sober
Good work on your sobriety from opiates. You have turned addiction off so now keep it off. Hopefully you have " a life " that you value and enjoy and are doing lots of good healing. **I hope you have hugs for when you are afraid. Try not to obsess about drugs and your predicament. You have turned addiction off and that's the End now. Don't flirt with relapse or stay in your head for long. Thoughts may come, but don't put the kettle on for them. Don't isolate. Find a mens group if interested. Learn to dance Salsa --- Stay well.
Congratulations on your sobriety brotha!!! That is fricken epic!! Keep on that path my friend, do whatever it takes. Same as you I’m scared of relapses at this point. We must stay away completely!! And guess what our lives will be better for it. It’s interesting too that you say that about the booze being so easily accessible because a m3th addict once told me the same thing. He said he felt bad for us and he could never stay sober if he could just go get it at the gas station. Trust me my friend it disgust me and it is really rough. When I goto the store to get food I have to watch as people walk right by me with my dr*g of choice. Right there in my face tempting me. It’s something I guess we have to get use to with our society.
Anyways thanks brotha for the awesome comment and again congrats. 🙏
@@Slayer-7373 thanks bro, I really appreciate the kind words
Your community is really a place where people with similar issues get together and support each other, which is awesome
look into ibogaine
Awesome letter! I can relate. Alcohol does tell you that you can get a temporary relief from anxiety. Alcohol isn't lieing about that, but it never mention how many problems it causes.
Thanks so much Andrea!! :) also 1000%!!!
Much love.
Excellent move here with the letter Slayer, way to go 👍👍 Thank you again for another video, you are helping so many.
Thanks so much hunnie_b :) 🖤
@@Slayer-7373 👍
Beautiful and powerful video. I have chills because every word youve spoken has been exactly my life for nearly the past decade as well. Thank you for all that you do. That is one of your many purposes on this planet, to speak to people and to move them. ❤❤
🥹 gonna make me cry!! Thank you so much Shayna!!!
Slayer you are a miracle. May God keep blessing you❤🎉😊❤
🙏thank you so much Robert!!
I’m praying for you brother. Been there. Keep going!!! The devil come to kill steal and destroy but Jesus came to give life in abundance.
I can’t emphasize enough, How SPIRITUAL addiction is. Light/dark. It’s all real! I’m proud of you.
Thank you so much my friend!!!! And amen to everything you said!!! I’m right there with you. 🙏💯
Great seeing you brother! When I was in IOP, we also wrote letters to our addiction. Afterwards, we went outside on a cold winter night and lit our letters on fire in a barrel! It was relieving. Take care man! ODAAT!
Hey get seeing your brother!! I love the idea of going and burning it. Maybe I should take the remainder of the letter and burn it haha. Much love brotha!! One day at a time 💪💯
Halloween 🎃 is a bad time for relapses. Pumpkin Spiced rums and speciality drinks. The spirit world takes advantage through spirits especially.
Be on your guard slayer
100% dude, I actually want to make a video today on alcohol and the spirit world for Halloween. I’m super busy but I really hope I can make time for it!!! Thanks as always brother, let’s both be on guard today. 🙏💯
@@Slayer-7373 in the words of LD, keep your sobriety guard up at all time. Or as I like to say ‘keep your sobriety antenna up at all times’.
Glad you doing well brotha. Was just about to make a comment about alcohol being an entity before you said it. Once i started thinking of my addictions as entities it made the relapses easier to get through as I used to hate myself after every relapse and feel guilt but now I realize that they've been in the game longer than me so I can't beat myself up over relapses as ive had these addictions for years all that negative evergy over the years builds up inside us and its a very tough opponent to beat. These entities feed off our emotions. The guilt, sadness anger is like glue that just sticks you to that old frequency. I might just write a letter to weed and porn later tonight. And that letter to weed is gonna be tough because it used to actually benefit me it really did but the relationship has just gotten so toxic I can't keep doing it. The letter to porn will be way easier as that shit hasnt benefitted me in any way ever since i started watching it at 10 years old. And weed and porn go hand and hand for me which fucking sucks.
Thank you brotha as always 💯! Also yea dude I agree. It’s actually really helpful to view our addictions as evil sinister entities. Exactly what you just said, they feed off of our pain and suffering. They know what makes us tick, what hurts us and they play off of it. They are leeches and their ultimate goal is to ☠️ us. Write those letters brotha, when you’re ready. Take your time and really put your soul into it. I plan to write a way more in depth letter to booze myself. W33d and prn are both ninja addictions. They sneak in so subtle and next thing you know you got a problem. We just gotta keep doing the right thing and battling the dark arts.
Anyways much love brotha!! 💯 be easy
Can’t wait to watch And
Listen Slay ❤
Dinner time lol
Proud of ya
:) thanks so much Kristen, as always.
@@Slayer-7373 ♥️🫶🏻♥️🫶🏻🥰
Wow Slayer. I’m so impressed with the letters. Your knowledge and drive are strong and looks like you have focused on what alcohol does ruin lives . You are smart beyond your young age. I’m very proud of you in your journey. Alcohol never ends up positive. You have given addicts a lot to think about and no doubt help som folks stay or get sober. So happy for you Slayer. You sound so uplifted. I love you too. GOD 🎊 be with you! 💚💚🎉. Also. Yay for your channel growth 😍
Thank you so much Mona 🖤🙏!!! I appreciate you always being here!! God bless!
Awesome video slayer! I didn’t know about the letter writing!! I’m going to do that myself. Thanks for being you!!! Proud of you. 🎉🎉🎉❤
Yes you should totally do it!!! It’s really helpful!!! Thank you so much 🙏🖤
This is a great idea slyer I’m gonna try it. Thank you
Please do Jeff!! You will get a lot out of it trust me. The thanks goes to you my friend!! God bless 💯🙏
I look forward to your videos each week
This is awesome brotha, thank you. 🙏🙏
Powerful stuff, Slayer! I think if alcohol could have written a letter to me, it would have said the exact same things as in your letter! A bunch of lies, manipulation, and trying to make me feel guilty about giving up alcohol. I do remember writing a goodbye letter to alcohol; it was an assignment I had to do during my stay in rehab as an inpatient. I did 28 days, and we all had to write goodbye letters to our drugs of choice! It was one of the hardest things I had to do because it made me think of everything I've been through during my alcoholism. The good times, the fun, the parties, but mostly all the chaos, drama, and turmoil alcohol brought to my life. I couldn't help but get emotional as I was writing it because it really was like saying goodbye to my best friend. Then I realized that alcohol took way more away from me than it could ever give to me, and that I don't want it in my life anymore! I saw LD's video where he read his goodbye letter to alcohol, and it is also one of my favorite of his videos. Prayers to LD, glad he's out of the hospital, too! Addiction really is the master of deception. In the beginning, everything seems perfect, like a sweet dream that you don't ever want to wake up from, but eventually everything goes to sh!t , and all those good feelings are replaced with sadness, guilt, anger, and more anxiety than ever before. Little by little, all the things that mean something to you disappear like friends, family, spouse, hobbies, etc. Our lives really are much better without alcohol or drugs, and if we do the work, we can regain a lot of what we lost, and rebuild those broken relationships. This video really hits hard, Slayer. Thanks a lot man! God bless!! ❤
Hey David thank you as always brother!!! Thank you as well for sharing. I think our drinking was very similar at times. I got emotional too writing the letter. Like you said it feels like saying bye to a best friend, but it’s not our friend. It’s our enemy and deep down we know that. I’m glad we are both sober today David!!! On this journey with this community. God bless, one day at a time my friend. 🙏
Very well articulated. You are progressing, and I thank God for that.
:) thanks rons mom!!! Always!!! 🙏🙏
What's up, man? I've done this before in treatment. I think the last time I did the letter it was just two words. Those words. Good video, buddy. What emotionally jarring images.
Yo what’s up shades! Also interesting haha. It seems like a lot of treatment programs did this activity.
Also I know right 🤣, we were all cracking up the whole time he was drawing them. Giving him sh*t the whole time. Thanks as always brotha!! Hope you are well my friend.
@@Slayer-7373 Whether it was by design, or the guy has no artistic talent whatsoever, the drawings were masterpieces inadvertently. Yes, I am well man. Over four months now.
Great video!! Loved the story telling and visuals that you produced
:) thanks so much jts 🖤
_Letters are perfect just as they are... in my opinion. Glad you're doing well my man._
🙏💪thanks my friend!!!
Awesome video! Don’t feel bad for not posting or replying soon. Your recovery is important and should always be number one! Keep taking care brother!
Thank you as always brother 🙏 you always are here showing love!!
Good video
Thank you my friend!! 🙏
Slayer so happy for you !! You are doing great… Good work friend. Thanks for sharing this video with us. Prayers 🙏🙏🙏
🙏🖤thanks as always Jackie!! Really it means a lot! God bless
Thanks, Slayer! Looking forward to the next story
Thanks Olivia :)!
Wow that was cool! Thanks for sharing it. I'm going to share it with my friend who's also in recovery. Really great.
:) thanks image, also that’s awesome to hear that you’re going to share it. 🙏
great video and honestly fitting for the time of year.. happy halloween bro 🎃
Thanks bro!! Happy Halloween man 🎃. I think I might try to make a “scary” video today. Dt’s and stuff.
Love to hear what you do in your iop and I enjoy ur stories! Reminds me of why I want to stay sober. I got 1 month and I’m very grateful ☺️
:) thanks so much salina, I’m happy it’s helping. Also heck yea!!!! 👏💪☝️ that is what I’m talking about! Congratulations on 1 month!!! Keep winning over this monster!
Please dont stop❤ Keep up with the videos
I ain’t going anywhere heather 🖤🙏
Never feel U owe me a response. I know you're busy. Great Vid. Loved the letters. Group leader sounds like he's helpful & knowledgeable - Interesting activity that I know will help each of us. Thanks so much for sharing. Brilliant Point U made that you are already whole & wonderful without the booze. U mentioned booze gave U confidence to speak to girls. Pro Tip -- IF you feel you can trust the girl, & want to share with her, tell her that you can be shy or a little uptight talking & later that 'you are building confidence as a social creature'. ( We all are ). A girl who is worth your time will love your honestly, that you shared & were honest. I mean that. ** ALSO -- Silence is absolutely beautiful Too. Let her or any friend do more of the talking & don't feel you need to fill in all the silent spots. We as human beings can learn to be comfortable with silence which is also full life. To just stand in the silence & let it burn us. We will feel awkward which may feel a bit painful and that's absolutely OK as we learn abt ourselves. Like, OH I never noticed that I can't stand silence with friends. IF you are nervous that's OK. Feelings come to us to be felt. Let the silent spaces be Empty ( they are so full ). **You are smart, funny, cute & exude charisma. Stand in those truths my friend. We are not in control really of what's going on so hand yourself over to the Aliveness whatever it is in this moment. You call it God, I call it aliveness. Be more in your body, less in your head. Hope it's OK I make suggestions. I am well meaning. I do know too that you are in good hands with your program & therapy. I am proud of you for doing this hard work. I am proud of each of us here
I’ll always reply Judith 🙏🙏 I love talking to y’all. I appreciate your advice too thank you!!!! You always drop wisdom and knowledge!!! You make me think and i appreciate that more than you know. You always are here showing love 🙏🖤 god bless my friend.
Glad you’re back. Just trying to end 5 month relapse after 8 months sober after 40 yrs drinking. Relapse sucks. I wound up drinking increasing amounts every day because I felt like an asshole for relapsing.
Hey brother the fact that you went 8 months shows me you can 100% do it. That is NOT an easy thing to do at all! You see it for what it is, just get back on that wagon when you can. God bless and thank you!!
@@Slayer-7373 Bless you Slayer. I guess no matter what we just keep trying.
The letter from alcohol to you was interesting bro. It really is like alcohol talks to me like that when i get a serious urge. Its almost a evil sort of romance. Thanks for the vid
Hey thank you Paul!! 🙏🙏 definitely an evil sort of romance my friend.
The shark teeth uuugh! You gave it shark teeth. Creepiest hallucination I've had, seeing my dad's severed head insise my purse, pitch black eyes and he smiled and there they were, shark teeth with blood on them. Thanks slay, not sleeping tonight. Jk. Love tje drawings! They are hilariously creepy lol, the 3 girls ones hahahaha I prolly shouldn't be laughing but I just can't with this. This reminds me to let the bad memories go that alcohol has brought to all of us struggling, the DTs are not worth a heart attack or seizure from hallucinations even after you quit, you get no warning from those. Thanks for the video, this was a profound and funny one and very thoughtful. Good job and congratulations.
I’m so sorry nidia!! I didn’t mean to trigger anything!! I’m glad you enjoyed the rest of the video though :) 🖤🙏
@@Slayer-7373 No, don't take it that way, you didn't trigger anything, is just a reminder of how scary alcohol is, so kinda like a wake up call from the nightmare you're experience awake and not in a sleep state. Very scary but don't feel bad cause I don't think anyone wants to go through that at all. Alcohol can take you out without even driving, that's how scary it is. But this was a high spirited video so I thank you for that and thank yourself also to be on the path abolishing this monster/beast.
🎉 proud of you!
🖤🙏
Thumbs Up 👍 and shared out.🖤🎃
🖤
Gonna draw and name the monsters (whiskey bottles and high ABV beers) and also write both letters; these videos definitely help and always look forward to them; thanks for providing a sense of community!
@faixaazul69 Slayer is very good at that, and it certainly has a two way effect i believe, like an interchange of encouragement between us, and him 💫
Do it brother!! This is awesome to hear!! And trust me when I say, y’all help me just as much!! This community is amazing. One day at a time my friend!
Hey Slay - 🥹 I’m not crying you are. The activity you did in your IOP is very powerful. I think we can all benefit from drawing our monster or alter ego. The letters depicted the toxic relationship between you and alcohol. What’s been very clear to me is that regardless of the vice we need to figure out the why. The why IMO is the hardest. Again, regardless of the vice or unhealthy activity. I also think it’s important not to compare each other. Someone can easily assume they’re not as bad by hearing how others consume more. The word functioning needs to be removed from our vocabulary. Anyways, I started watching this last night but decided to pause and rewatch in the am. The morning is when I’m at peace and in the best head space. Anyways, my friend you’re killing it and I love the bling bling! Keep moving forward, don’t look back. Like you said life is a precious gift and our purpose is one of those things many of us struggle a lifetime to figure out. Much love always my friend. 💜
🖤🥹you always uplift me with your words of wisdom micru!!! Nothing but love always!!! God bless you and thank you!!! I still think one day we need to make that big camping trip happen!!! What a trip it would be to have all of us somewhere!!!
@@Slayer-7373 you inspire me!! We all have different stories and paths but there are communalities for sure. As for that meet up, I’ve told you before we have to make that happen, I’m holding you to it. Doesn’t have to happen tomorrow but must happen at some point. It will be epic!! 💜 💜 💫 😊
@ yes!!! A MUST happen!!
My boyfriend FINALLY got sober 2 weeks ago and I'm going to get him to do this as well 😊 great job Slayer!
This is AWESOME to hear Christina!!!! 🙏
Man Damon be looking like a crappy anime villan😂. In all seriousness good job with sobriety, very hard to stay sober over here. If there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that I'm not letting my ass get kicked by a guy named Damon🤟
That’s exactly what he looks like 🤣, we were all giving my councilor crap the whole time and laughing. It was a great activity man. Also thanks so much brotha!!! Also yes let’s kick his ass instead haha.
I loved watching that video of dirk (may he rest in peace) smashing those bottles on that tombstone
Me too brother, most of his videos hit home and were really deep. I miss Dirk and his awesome personality. God bless
Booze is like "whitewashed graves....pretty outside, but inside..." and they were the religious leaders !! 11:22
Great activities using two forms of communication. As you say, both create a physical object that can be used to see an issue from a different point of view and also analyze it, discuss it, manipulate it, and even destroy it. Drawing can bring out the unconscious and is definitely a tool that's used in psychological settings. It allows us to express our personality while connecting with others. For example, the "Cane" drawing can remind you of Pinocchio (long nose, lies) or Slipknot.
I'm wondering what was wrong with "Doug", he seems chill 😂
100% ER!! It’s a fantastic activity to do.
Also I know right 😂, Ricky and Doug seem like really chill dudes. Thanks as always my friend!
@@Slayer-7373 idk, Ricky looks like he'll try to sell you something 😂
Why did you dress yours with a suit?
Thank you for this. I want to write my goodbye letter to my alcohol monster.
Thank you francie!!! 🙏🙏
And please write one!! 🙏
Congrats on one month. Keep it up, you can do it
Hey thank you brother!!! 🙏🙏
You're welcome. I struggled with alcohol and relapses for a long time, but this coming weekend marks my 2 years of sobriety. I know you can do it too
@ congratulations on 2 years brother, this is awesome 👏
Actually cool exercise to give your drink of choice a name. I call my Martin now for espresso martini from hell lol
Keep up the great work!
Thanks smitty!!! I like that as well haha, Martin!! Bunch of shady characters right lol
God bless man.
6 month sober n released. i quit i just couldn't sleep it's it's been 34 or 36 i just can't sleep. Should i see a doctor or will it pass, my eyes got red my brain feels like cooking up.. need your advice brother
Hey man 👋! 6 months is pretty incredible bro!! That shows you can definitely do this. Also it really just all depends on how bad you’re feeling. Have you been hallucinating? How bad is the shaking? Are you throwing up? My advice to anyone including myself when going through withdrawal is if you feel like you need to goto the doctor/detox, GO! It’s better to be safe than sorry! Ultimately only you know how bad you’re feeling. Reply back when you get a chance brotha!! Be safe! 🙏
Nice, keep going dont look back. Alcohol always mess up nofap journey
💪one day at a time my friend!! Also yea alcohol ruins anything good lol. Anything you’re tryna do good if you throw booze in the mix it ruins it.
Much love brotha! 💯
Severe alcoholism is a living hell, a living nightmare. Nothing in my life has came close to anywhere to being as bad as being an alcoholic. This is coming from someone who has been addicted to hard fucking drugs, meth, opioids, benzos. I was addicted to meth from 16-18 and when I started drinking at 18 I never touched hard drugs again. I thought why have I pursued drugs when alcohol is better than all the drugs I've ever done. With alcoholism there is nothing like it. True hell.
Couldn’t agree more man! It’s totally overlooked because it’s legal and normalized. It’s hell like you said, BRUTAL!
Alcohol sounds like the narcissist ex who really wants to get back to their significant other but then isolates them from their family and friends once they are back together.
100% accurate!!
Masterpiece !! I 💛 24:27 24:27 💛 ✨️
🙏🙏
Best wishes! Having been there and never going back my solution was to turn my back on it. Give it no attention, just didn't buy any of it.
Thanks so much Pamela :)!! Also I’m glad to hear you got free from this monster!!! Congratulations. 🙏
@@Slayer-7373 Thank you for replying! I was hooked from age 12 and latterly was on 1 litre of vodka and coke over 24h. One day I went into Aldi to get "it" and just turned round and left. "Something" told me to not remember the date etc. or talk about it. So easy! xx (miracles do happen.)
@ that’s beautiful 🙏🙏
Bro got the supreme diapers chilling behind him🔥
🤣heck yea. I use the box to store a bunch of random crap. Got it from my older brother.
@@Slayer-7373 I do the same man lol, got at least 5 Kirkland boxes filled with random things in my garage
@ great minds think alike see lol.
@@Slayer-7373 and keep doing what you’re doing bro, there’s so much toxicity on the internet today and you’re a light in the darkness no homo
Can you please do a video talking about your psychedelic experiences i still want to hear about them im very interested
For sure Dominick I’m sorry brotha that I already haven’t!!! I tell you what, after the next video I will make a video discussing that stuff. I promise! 💯 god bless bro.
@@Slayer-7373 could you also give me a shoutout in the video
sad facts true facts
💯💯sad but true.
The monster will ignore your farewell letter, as you well know 16:17
100% Craig!!
Slayer....I struggle with this addiction so much. I drink wine out of a Hannah Montana cup that I bought for a quarter at a yard sale like 5 years ago. I am going to draw my alcohol monster. It will look like a crazed child...with messy pigtails and black eyes. I don't even want to think about it. I hate my drunk self. I become this very ridiculous version of myself....like a precocious child in an adult's body. I like to consider myself a high-functioning alcoholic but that is a straight-up lie. I don't function highly. I am a lush for wine and shooters. Every morning I wake up feeling like absolute shit and the only thing I can focus on is having another drink to feel a bit more normal and relaxed. It is the worst way to live. I just want to be the real me again.
It’s not too late for you!!! I know the exact hell you’re living in!! I lived in it for years!!! You can get out of it trust me! Sometimes detox is the only way to break that cycle, break the chain. Because the withdrawals are just so horrific, trust me I know. We do very much drink just to feel normal again, but really it’s just slowly taking us down. How long have you been drinking do you mind me asking? 🙏
@@Slayer-7373 to be honest I have been an addict since I was a young teenager. I started with smoking pot, every day but I slowly graduated over the years to more drugs. I stopped doing drugs in my early 30's but then started drinking alcohol more. (I am 42 years old now). I have been an on-and-off semi-heavy drinker for about 10 years. I would quit, for months at a time but then relapse. This last bout of drinking tho has been going on for about 2 years now. I drink wine every day. About 6 years ago I went to a behavioral rehab type place for a week and then was in an IOP program. I was doing much better then. But I fell back into the hell of drinking. For me to stop now I would need professional detox.
I wrote you a long message back...don't know if it went through.
notice how
the word
SUPRÊME
is positioned
over your head
for this video..
;) 💯exactly.
@@Slayer-7373
just sayin..
🙏💜🕯💧🌱🐾👣🌿🌎🕊
I don't drink. Never have. But my life is terrible, it's been destroyed. It's not just alcohol or drugs that can destroy someone..
But if u don't deal with substance abuse it seems people don't understand or care how awful your life can be.. Why?
I’m sorry Debbie 🙏
So am I. So very sorry my life is so fucked.
Have you heard how LD is doing?
I hope he’s ok. Praying for him
Last I heard from LD he was out of the hospital and just resting up. I’m sure he will be back soon!! Much love to you and to LD 🖤
Ka - Descendants of Cain
💯
Esau did that 18:28 for a little delicious stew
The story of Jacob and Esau is wild!!! 🙏
Shakespearean language? .. Try reading Scots/English King James VI book " Daemonology" ... 5:13 video stamp .
(Now I'll enjoy remainder) 😈 lol
I’ll check this out Craig!!! God bless brotha!
🤙🏻🖤
💯🤙🖤
Cool...drawing your personal alcohol monster and naming it.i'll do the entire excersize.i should draw pain pills as I always thought I was better on those.goodness that was a terrible problem,I don't recommend it.
Yes Christina please do!!! I would encourage anyone to try this activity for themselves. It’s really eye opening and let’s you view booze from a different angle. Much love to you!! 🙏
❤👏👍🙏🫂
Thanks Debra!! 🙏
Your letter : trust me, " you positively will not die, for God knows in the day of your eating ..."
Time stamp 8:49
Sounds like who ?????
Is it really satisfaction???
We convince ourselves it is for sure, but deep down it’s not.
Slayer 🤘🏻🤘🏻
Caesar!!! 💯🙏💪
Why you got diapers behind your head? You a daddy?
No haha, just using the box for some supplies. Got it from my older brother actually. He is a father.
Bless 💯