*"Can I drink again?"* I often ask myself that question but then I ask myself another one, *"Why would I want to?"* I know what alcohol has done to my life and the more I think about it, I know deep down I don't ever want to pick up a bottle again.
That first drink engages the disease , the illness , currently sat in my bed shaking with a bottle of you know what next to my bed, it's truly scary when your doing it just to feel normal and not get drunk , I've somehow managed to survive to 29 years old after being a fucked up alcoholic for the past six years got progressively worse, so many detoxes so many broken promises so many this is the last time . One day at a time is the only way it can seem to work for me but the idea of that first drink is terrifying , alcohols can never take the first drink because it's all over , coming from the guy drunk at 7am in his bed alone and pathetic , don't do it
Brother you can absolutely do it, don’t give up. Never stop trying, man I’ve been in these same positions dozens of times but I get back up and keep pushing forward. I know how tired you are man, I was right where you were not long ago. I believe in you man, believe in yourself. Pull yourself up and together, you got this. 🙏
Omg, the pacing and waiting. That made me shudder. It took me about ten times going through a week of withdrawals (insomnia, high anxiety, rushing heart rate, etc) before I realized I cannot even have one drink. I feel at peace with that now, thankfully. I think sometimes we have to accept that we CAN achieve huge goals. For me, when I start to doubt that, alcoholic thoughts creep in. Those thoughts turn into “just a six pack” and then I’m drinking vodka for breakfast. Fock that nightmare! Thanks so much for the video, Slayer. You and Bat Country are crazy helpful!
“Next thing you know, vodka for breakfast” I know all too well my friend. I really appreciate your support and words brother, shout out to bat country!!!!! That man is saving lives!!!! Comments like these keep me going, god bless. One day at a time
I hear you when you say perfect antidote man. It is until it is not. Progressive drinking is what happened. Life became unmanageable after a while. I’m at square 1 once again. Paying the price once again because of a relapse. Why don’t I learn my lesson. I always end up with the same pattern, insanity, withdrawals, hospitals, etc. Thanks for the video :)
It’s the same thing every single time man, we prove that to ourselves time and time again yet we repeat it. It really is the definition of insanity. Also I would say man just don’t ever stop trying, LD says that all the time never stop trying to beat it. Eventually it will stick and you will beat it. You got this bro 🙏 god bless
Thank you always Cindy! And same 100%, it’s always that same question. We trick ourselves so many times into running back to that bottle and it always ends the same.
You've got REAL resolve in this video Slayer. You're convinced that you can't drink again. You even reference that each relapse keeps getting worse and worse and like I keep warning, honestly, the next relapse could mean death for you. I keep you in my thoughts often and it makes me really happy to see you're convinced that you can never drink again. I feel you've really got it this time, no more relapses only permanent sobriety!
Exactly brother I’m serious this time around. I’m calling it how it really is because that’s how you get sober and stay sober. Acceptance is huge is sobriety bro and acceptance of who I really am only benefits my sobriety and overall well being. It’s a battle man that’s for sure, I’m taking it one day at a time and tryna count my blessings. Be easy my friend.
Slayer I’m 9/10 days sober so far this month. I had 6 beers Sunday but felt terrible after. I feel so much better without it and don’t even think it’s worth it anymore. It’s true that you can just drink normally because while I don’t really drink liquor or anything higher than 5% I still just can’t have 1 drink. I didn’t need 6 the last time I drank and am trying to go the rest of the month sober.
You are doing great my friend, just keep working at it. One day at a time, you will get completely over it before too long. I’m right there with you battling bro trying to figure it out, god bless keep up the good work and remember how that poison makes you feel.
Even just 1 night of drinking when you have all ready bad anxiety issues, will causes panic attacks the next day and when you have a real bad panic attack, your anxiety and panic levels are out of whack for weeks/months or longer. I always tell myself just think about the anxiety... that anxiety is unreal.
100%!!! That’s the “kindling” effect happening pretty much immediately after just 1 single night of drinking. Like you said the panic attacks, the anxiety……. Unless you’ve been through it people truly don’t understand. It’s absolutely awful. And like you said the withdrawals literally do last for months, they can last up to 2 years I even heard!!!! How insane is that??? I’m still going through withdrawal I feel like and god only knows when I’ll actually feel normal. Anyways always appreciate your comments my friend. Bless 🙏
@@Slayer-7373 Bless brother. If I magically teleported back in time and tried to tell myself years ago how bad the anxiety was after drinking, I wouldn't believe it.. If I never drank, i still wouldn't believe it. Truly incomprehensible.
I am not a drinker and I watch your videos, LD’s and bat country. I watch cuz I learn from you guys and absolutely respect and admire that you all are making lemonade out of the lemon and paying it forward. You , Slayer, are gifted and could be a public speaker at schools etc… you have a future in helping people as you are now. I pray for your sobriety daily. I’m a mom and I talk about you with my kids. You are making a difference even with non drinkers. Love ya❤
@@Slayer-7373 just wanted to clarify the misnomer that if you’re watching this then you’re probably an alcoholic … so not true. You are teaching me daily, as a non drinker and I so appreciate your authenticity . You really would be great speaking to students, you are very relatable, that’s why I share your videos with my kids. ❤️
Good to hear from you man. 🙏 I totally agree. We can absolutely not drink again. Like you said one leads to another and another and another… at some point we must say enough is enough! Let’s say it now! Today! Stay strong. 💪 🙏
I was just in Colorado last weekend bro. I’m in northern New Mexico. We’re neighbors. You’re doing great bro and like I commented on the last video, I’m proud of you and your commitment to your sobriety. I hope to meet you someday bro. And, yes, Colorado is beautiful and one of my favorite states. Much love to you.
That’s awesome Carlos, Breckinridge is breath taking man to say the least. Amazing place to get sober!!!! Also new mexico nice, my family has been out there multiple times. One day we will have to have a big meet up! 🙏 god bless man
This came up in last night's meeting and everyone said no. We have an incurable disease that can go into remission. The fire will be re-lit the second you pick up. And that is from experience. Good, brutal honesty here, Slayer
Beautiful, caring compassionate video that will help so many. Thank you Slayer for all the love you show for those in your community. Take care, Bless You. 🙏🙏
Hey thank you Debbie, If it wasn’t for you guys I wouldn’t even be making videos so the thanks is equal back to you. I hope that you’re doing well and keeping positive. God bless 🙏🙏
Hey 👋 thanks so much brother, I’m glad you enjoyed them man. I really enjoyed the talk with LD, he’s a genuinely awesome guy. Also side note I was meaning to listen to some zeppelin today and seeing your name reminded me 😂, god bless brother
Your not alone slayer man , you never are. You should use all your knowledge and wisdom on alcohol to help and change people's life's you are very educated on the matter. Alcohol is truly demonic if you have the disease it terrifying it's absolute insanity like you said in the video. Times waits for no man or woman and that substance will fuck us up quicker than anything , it's horrible the realisation when you know you can never drink again because kindling is a real thing. Every relapse is worse .. kindling , neuropathys in the brain are triggered the disease remains dormant no matter how long you abstain , it's fatal 100% of the time if you take that first drink and engage the disease
Hey Luke 👋 i appreciate you brother I really do. You’ve been here from the beginning, you share your journey, never read a bad or negative comment from you and I just want to say I’m glad you’re part of this community bro. I appreciate those words as well, I do need to use the knowledge for good. To prevent myself from drinking and helping others not to. I think it would be so cool to go into a career path of helping other addicts. How cool would that be??? Also 100% bro, it’s straight 👺👹🤮, the people who know, know. It’s absolutely awful and yes extremely terrifying. It’s like you said once the disease is “unlocked” so to speak, it never fully leaves, it just sleeps and at any time one drink and it wakes up. God bless man 🙏
You could drink, but it wouldn't be the feeling you're looking for. We don't drink to have fun necessarily, my breakup was so traumatic I spent the last 3 years subconsciously trying to create a more traumatic experience to overcome the issues i was already dealing with, personally. Since I've started using nicotine, I'm technically been able to drink (a lot) the last couple months without any repercussions. But it's not *that good feeling* anymore that we all HATE TO LOVE. *If you could drink normally, you wouldn't want to.* (Shit is boring, we're attracted to the hellfire) That's why I think it's best to stay away from it. Because I know if I get the high I'm really chasing, there's gonna be consequences. "Right when I start to feel good again, I go right back to square one" Damn, I hate this shit... everything is gonna be okay Slayer, just dropped one of them prayer hitters for you 🙏
Your comments are always on point brother, you’re the hitter my friend 👏😂, I remember Theo saying someone was a “young Christian warrior” as a Christian that makes me laugh bro 😂
@Slayer-7373 gang gang! I'm thankful to have you, and theo in my life. "Focus on creating the new instead of trying to get rid of the old" or however that saying goes... you've already heard it 100 times but something tells me to drop it again.
I'm 44 and the past 4 years probably took 8 off my life, I'm terrified of ending up needing to drink rather than wanting to.i believe It's easier when has supportive living family.i don't have anyone at all.i don't think anyone out there is any "loved one" that cares if I'm alive.i have no children or real friends and 1 living family member.i don't think my outcome is good.yet again, I'm doing something 100% ALONE
You always have someone Christina and that someone is god. That might sound cringe but it’s true, he’s with you always and he’s always your friend. Call out to him some night when you’re lonely, let him know what’s on your soul. Also you have this community here, so many people would be more than happy to chat with you and become friends. That’s why I started this channel was for people like yourself, we all need help and making these videos not only helps me relate but it helps y’all. Keep your head up, you got this. 🙏💪
Alcohol has a very high interest rate that must be paid back immediately! I love this channel. You are a very good communicator, a genuine nice person who speaks from experience. I have been half-way there when it comes to withdrawals. Haven't experienced full on hallucinations and DTs so far, but was at the doorstep of this hell. Nausea, panic attacks, The Fear, couldn't sleep, and when I tried taking a walk, I just felt like I was experiencing the world through a fog or like a third person, very weird feeling. Over the past year I've had like 30 bad withdrawals, that's 2-3 a month. They haven't landed me in hospital yet but it was a very close call a few times, and I would surely end up there if I continued. This channel helps me remember it all and I know I'm not alone. Thank you Slayer, stay strong as you already are. Looking forward to the interview with your brother!
Hey cow 👋 thanks so much brother I’m glad you’re liking the content. If it helps y’all it really helps me too. Also 100% man, it’s absolutely awful, I know of that brain fog that you describe. It’s horrible and only people who have really been through that craziness can understand it. No sleep at all for a week sometimes it’s absolutely awful. You’re definitely not alone bro, god bless you 🙏
I say nope. Second runs!!! In the pouring rain, in the snowstorm so glad those days are over. I can cozy up with a blanket and movie. i still want to drink trust me i want to so bad but it never did me any good. Now beer is available at 24 hour corner stores.. omg. Congrats and keep fighting for your sobriety! You're doing great! I watch your channel for inspiration.
Absolutely, tracking through 2 feet of snow for a few shots I did those things many times. Walked in rain as you said, snow, blazing heat it didn’t matter. I appreciate you and I appreciate your comments thank you. One day at a time 🙏
Hey Slay!🖤 thank you for another motivating, helpful video. I ended up relapsing after 7+ months sober. I feel like I’ll never overcome alcoholism… but your videos give me hope. Thank you! Sending you lots of love!
Hey nat it’s so good to hear from you!!! Also that does not take that 7 months away, 7 months is absolutely incredible 🙌🖤 that is 100% proof you can do it. Ive never had 7 months, please be proud of yourself and be proud that you see it for what it is, a trap. Every single time. I’m extremely proud of you, sending you much love to you back!!! 🙏🖤
Hey Slayer - all I can say is the way you depict the struggle with this disease proves how it defies all logic. When it’s gotten to that point, there is no going back as moderation does not exist. It’s like listening to song on repeat 🔁 over and over again until you no longer hear the song as you fade away. Whoa 😳! As far as the guilt you carry for the past and the what if’s, those are just chains and bricks holding you down. It contributes to the rationalization to fall back to the old ways. Don’t punish yourself for doing things when you were not only knee deep but completely engulfed in it. It doesn’t excuse it or give us a pass but some of the things that have happened in your life is not a result of your actions. You know what I’m referring to. That was done as a way to payback and is on a whole other level. You don’t owe them anything after that, no more regrets or wasted tears. They did what they did and that’s that. You need to release it to the universe. It’s time… I’ll end with this, regardless of where each of us are in this journey, whether we are directly or indirectly affected by alcohol or any other substance, we are worth separating ourselves from it. It doesn’t add anything positive that’s for sure. Well long post again, it’s Wednesday morning watching you and feeling so positive. I’m looking forward to the chat with your bro. Thank you for being the beautiful soul you are and taking the time to share your insight with all of us. You are worth it my friend. Much love and peaceful thoughts. 💜 💜
Hey micru 👋 hope you’re well as always!!! Also I know, it literally is the definition of insanity. We are doing the same thing over and over expecting different results but always getting the same. Also i appreciate those words about that situation. I really need to hear stuff like that from time to time just to ground myself. We will definitely make it a positive no matter where our roads take us. Thanks as always micru, I think y’all will enjoy seeing my brother. Much love 🙏🙏
Watching this video is almost like watching myself because everything you said is literally what I've done, been through, experienced and struggling with! Everything!
@@Slayer-7373 It certainly did, knowing that I'm not alone and not fighting an everyday battle for the rest of my life all alone! Thank you bro, take care!
Love your channel bro. This is hard for some people to think about, but a true addict can never have enough; or the addict uses all there energy trying to find more. I believe deep down inside everyone is an addict, but people can control the addiction or let it take control. The gorilla in the room today is the internet. People cant even have lunch with their children without playing 90% of the time on there phone. Besides the point, I am an alcoholic. God, Family and friends are a great help. Take care Slayer and the next time I write I will be 3 months sober buddy!
Hey 👋 thank you brother!!! Y’all are just as much part of the channel as I am. If not for you guys I’d just be talking to myself. When I read comments like yours it shows me I’m not alone in the thoughts and how I feel and who I am. Let’s take it one day at a time brother, thank you 🙏 god bless
Fantastic Video Slayer!!!🖤. It’s completely Poisonous ☠️ to us. For me, I always took things to the extreme. If I’m good, I’m going to be excellent. If I’m bad, I’m going to be the worst!! The hilarious thing about it is I used to think I was unique, the only one. There are many of us. You are never alone.
The golem reference is on point. Addiction creates a desperation that those without it can't imagine. When we're in that desperate place, we become willing to do things that we couldn't imagine doing when we're sober. When you're talking about putting yourself first, it's really crazy because nowadays and before my uncontrolled addiction, I always think of myself last. And not because I'm self-sacrificing, but because I just get so much joy out of taking care of my loved ones. But during that time, I lied, I was sneaky and secretive. I would put others first when it was absolutely necessary, but only then. Every day, my brain was only working out how to maintain my addiction. It's so good to see you doing so well. I watched the clip below. You guys really created a great interview series. Your conversation was on point and so helpful. I can't thank you both enough for all that you do! I commented on ld's upload that I know that you'll crush it no matter what you decide to do in life. You are going to do great things, no matter what it is. But I could see you as a counselor. I think you'd be amazing in that role. I hope everyone's well is going great!! Much love always to you and this whole community, slayer!!! ❤❤😊❤❤
Oh, and I don't think that those of us who know we're addicts, and have been to the depths we've been should consider it a possibility to drink again. The risk is just way too high ❤❤
Nice to see you as always my friend. Hope you’re having a nice week. We’re at the midpoint…you know what that means…Friday is around the corner 😊. Peaceful thoughts and all the best juju to you as always.
Hey Amanda 👋 always good to hear from you my friend!!! Also I think so too 100%, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again I need to make an entire lord of the rings gollum video. Like you said it really is hard to imagine some of the things we do and say in active addiction but that truly isn’t us. Deep down we are decent people, I know for a fact you’re a good person!! 🖤🙏 Also I’m so glad you guys liked the talk with LD, I loved it. I thought it was super interesting and informative. A counselor would definitely be awesome I won’t lie, helping people also helps you. Much love 🙏
@Micru866 Hi, my friend!! It's good to see you, too! Hope you're doing well. Yes, you're right. It's officially Friyay eve! Sorry that I'm only responding now. If you can believe it, my work schedule has become even more complicated. BUT, I just have to trudge through until December, and it should start evening out!! All this good juju always 😊❤️
Well spoken Slayer!! You said a lot of very true things especially things that I’ve forgotten about through my recovery, things to remind ourselves! Thank you bro much love!
I was blacked out drunk one night..called this dude out!! Come outside!! We gonna box!! I swing this extremely wild haymaker ✊ punch ...he dodged it...cracked me in my eye socket..lol... bleeding everywhere.. don't drink!!!
Man, it's so grounding when your ego also takes a hit, not just your physical body. I've been in this position many times but I've also been on "winning" side (it's the losing side, in the end) and it just made my ego even more artificially boosted. If you think your face may be broken, it's okay to visit the hospital. I got seriously whooped once (he was the aggro, not me) and I seriously thought my face was absolutely broken. (it wasn't and they gave vicodin). Went back to drinking that night before pressing charges the next day because he straight sucker punched me. He got convicted of felony assault with intent to cause bodily harm. So, yeah, court is also an option if people aren't fighting fair.
Cussed out multiple bosses!! Spazzed out on them!! Because of alcohol!! One boss..ex .. cop...called cops on me ...cops show up..I spazzed out on them.. luckily..I wasn't flying my arms too close to them ... threateningly to kill my boss...ohhh my gosh.. because of alcohol.. don't drink!!
Once you have a little, the alcohol quickly overtakes your reasoning, then you think, a little more won't hurt, and pretty soon, we'll I've gone this far, might as well "enjoy" a total blowout!!! You can't go back "normally ' in my opinion. !!! Great video Slayer my friend 🩵 🙏 🙏
One day you ll definitely move past it. On your side is your age to fix physically Slayer. As that side repairs its going to be your person "purpose " and use your great people skills to tell others how it works. Janet 🇬🇧 uk
I needed to hear this today. I started reminiscing a little too hard about getting all fucked up drinking and smoking. It sounded appealing but I'm over 5 weeks into sobriety, way too invested to just fuck it off in an instant. I know it will just lead to me being shit faced guilt trippin myself and drinking more and more. U definitely helped me out today dude so thanks for that
@@bak1386 proud of you brother, you absolutely are making the right decision by staying away from it. Nothing but lies!!! It’s awesome to hear my video helped you off that ledge so to speak. God bless bro
My mom and dad paid for this nice rehab center in Minnesota...in 2016 for me ...when i was 35 years old...45 day clinic... great place! After 18 days i relapsed. All that money down the drain...30 grand!!😢..ugh...
I know that feeling bro, that’s how it was when I went to my very first rehab years ago. That’s a rough one, we owe it to ourselves and our parents to stay sober.
I get the one day at a time strategy, but I wouldn't say, will I ever drink again, I don't know? I think that's a bad strategy. You're leaving the window cracked open ever so slightly that the enemy will definitely take advantage of it. Because he hates you after all, and would love to devour you. P.S. I got the chuckles when you said that if you're watching this video, you got a problem. I guess thats why I'm not into cat videos.
100% man, we can’t even leave the window cracked open at all. We come to realize that I think over a long period of time, it’s taken me forever and that other side of my brain still wants to leave some window cracked. Not worth the risk. And yes 😂, aye we are all here together lol.
_Good to see you, my man. I get the sence you're an old soul and here for exactly this, at least for the moment. Who knows how far the ripples will go?_
This is my experience and i was a pretty bad alcoholic. At one point a 1/5th of 80 proof a day and 24 beers when i couldn't get liquor! I still drink but no more than once a month period! I've been doing this for a while now but i did break this rule a few months ago and didn't drink for a couple months! I was shocked how quickly the taste for alcohol can back! Over the course of a week and drinking four of those days got to where i wanted it every single day!
Having one is really not an option for me. I drink at home and have enough to get obliterated so I won't get out after I start. I know this is a dangerous game I'm playing!
Our stories are always so similar in recovery have you noticed that brother? Also I would always do the same if I couldn’t get liquor I’d try to get the most beer I possibly could, it was brutal some days trying to get that beer to stay down. We are better than all of that my friend. God bless
Drinking mode is like matrix, you have that called tunnel vision, it just you and bottle nothing else matters that point and yes indeed answer the question i don't think i can't never drink again
This is a fantastic way of putting it, 100% it’s all down hill from there. Hey I also appreciate you always commenting 🙏 that means a lot, I love hearing from y’all. Bless my friend
You are not going to be struggling with it 20yrs later! Just focus on getting through the first year. Doesn't matter how or what you do only that you get there!!
Hang in there Slayer!! You have a whole prayer army behind you. I was wondering about you since you have not posted anything….so you are noticed and missed …your absence is deafening. It was noted in comments on LD’s recent video on 9/16. We love you so much..I am praying for you brother ❤️🙏🏻.
We're truly masters at lying to ourselves. The dragon's gone forever, there's no way to reach it ever again. I've been sober for about a month now, and can finally think again. I chucled a little about the drinking on holidays: is there anything more Christmas-y than getting sh*tfaced? Happy birthday Jesus, let's have another round!
100% ilaa, a constant never ending chase for something as you said we won’t ever reach again. It’s a trick and a real trap from that point forward. Also kindling effect and what it does to your brain is very real, it’s absolutely awful. Also congratulations on 1 month!!!!! 💪🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌 that is what I’m talking about!!!! Very proud and you should be proud of yourself. It’s crazy they say it can take up to 1 year just for your brain to return fully to normal. How crazy is that? Anyways much love, bless. And i know right, so many get trashed on the so called “Christ” day. 😪, a glass of wine is cool but getting trashed it’s like come on now.
I understand this mechanism because it worked the same way with me but with other substances. Sometimes alcohol has even gotten to me. Not to extreme levels, but I see the patterns starting. Then I understand that I probably shouldn't drink either. I can see the same addiction patterns in other areas of my life after my severe opiate addiction. I may have overcome that, & some other things, but I'm far from understanding & beating addiction. That's a monster I may never fully understand. I know this video is 2 months old but I'm finding it now at a time when I need it. Thank you for sharing.
I could email you if you'd like. I tried to leave my email a few times & my comment gets removed for some reason. Probably a UA-cam glitch thing. Who knows. Tech is weird sometimes.
@Slayer-7373 there are lots of people who recocer without intervention, but AA doesn't talk about it. AA doesn't produce numbers and operates on shame, making relapses worse
Don’t fantasize about it!!! I called it my evil headspace, where the thoughts would begin. Once I identified it, it was a huge step towards killing it & avoiding relapse.
I can answer that Slay… 20relapses + into early sobriety in my early 20’s the answer NOPE! I cannot take just 1 of anything! I can’t control it I can’t change it I didn’t cause it Addiction controls me I’ve met death too 3X Late 30’s dx w BRCA 2+ b cancer. 18hr surgery, let’s do it all at once, gutted my chest and insides like a fish. I lived to speak my truth. Healthy me was gone in less than a breath. We are one bad thought away from relapse. We all have our own road… You never know what you’re gonna get. I love being in my early 50’s… age does unlock wisdom no lie. I will die sober on my own terms. The relapse is already in the ? ❤❤❤❤❤❤
Good to hear from you and the answer is no it's the same as somebody who has took even prescription dose benzodiazepines they work until they start causing anxiety and it might take years for it to start causing anxiety benzodiazepines or alcohol eventually turns paradoxical on you and then on the benzodiazepines once you taper off then you got moths to years of fcking withdraw and all it takes is that 1 benzo and you relapsed so I can tell you I would not drink another one that's my opinion!
Hey thanks brother 🙏, also absolutely man. Once it’s in your brain you literally won’t be the same ever again as far as withdrawal goes. One single night of drinking will send me into weeks of withdrawal. The “kindling” affect is very real. It messes your brain up. Benzos are just as wicked, luckily I’ve never battled with those but I’ve heard horror stories. God bless bro 🙏
Unfortunately this everything happens for a reason is just a bias and being alcoholic is a tragedy. Of course it's wonderful that there's hope and you're here helping people out. Your content is so real, so important and it helps me a lot. I'm not an alcoholic myself but I am a woman who has been traded for alcohol and treated like shit, so I understand your ex. And to hear the things you say, ease my burden, make me realise he was under a demonic spell.
This comment is mega DEEP, I’m so sorry you went through that horrible, horrific stuff. Nobody should ever have to go through that. It’s 100% a demonic spell, “scientists” and “doctors” call it a disease now. Maybe it’s even deeper than that, whatever it is it’s absolutely awful and blows my mind when and I’m an alcoholic. Crazy. God bless you 🙏
@@Slayer-7373 But for me demons are not exactly external beings that latch onto us or whatever you and I might have heard of. My therapist asked me this yesterday, do you think they are some kind of souls or the sole product of our brain? I said I don’t know, but upon thinking about it, I came to a conclusion. They’re neither of these things, they are the child of our brain and alcohol, of ourselves and something external (alcohol), like demi-gods and the Nephilim. But this is just an allegory. In reality, alcoholism is a demon because it’s the resulting system from the merging of biological processes and alcohol, by which we grant access to our every thought, need, feeling, fear and motivation to this stranger and in no time it will be taking advantage of all this information to bring us down, until there’s nothing left that could have been also taken. In this matter, it’s like a succubus /incubus, they seduce us, make friends with us, take us for their lovers, marry us, isolate us, rob us of people and stuff, drain our health, trap our mind, then all of a sudden we are inmates, living in shackles, in dungeons hidden in the darkest depths of our mind, while it takes on our life. It’s funny to see you alcoholics talk about alcohol as something you deserve as a gift or compensation after some ordeal or suffer, and it reveals this power it has over you to appear as something delicious, heavenly, as salvation from pain, when, in fact, it’s the ultimate pain and hell. But this feature reveals the demonic character of this relationship and that it has the grip of your will. All of a sudden, the decision is no longer yours to make, because you and I have been raised to make decisions based upon our wishes and dreams and hopes and taste and likes and fears and all that is accessible to be known and toyed with by the demon. I am an atheist, hundred per cent, I don’t believe the gods and demons that have been invented by human beings to be factual, but it doesn’t mean that there is no type of demon whatsoever, that ideas are not living things, for instance; maybe they are and this is something that is always on my mind, ideas they live, breath and reproduce. But what you and guys like Sacred Serpent, Delirium Dirk and Bat Country say you have experienced makes me think of alcoholism as some kind of demon, but what I mean by that is a demonic idea, or a destructive process that develops within the person and is out to get them. And I’m sorry to disagree with your thought that you being an alcoholic had a purpose for you to be here now helping us out. I think no live is a purpose for anything other than life itself, otherwise people that had their lives destroyed so that others could learn a lesson or thrive would be but tools, and no human being can be a means to any other end than his/her own life. Love your content, man, thank you so much for all your effort!
The fact that the ring was left lying in the middle of the most pristine & peaceful haven is just pure genius on the part of Tolkein , Even in the most quiet and lovely places lies a potential seed of war, corrupting the most ordinary folk, one ring to rule them all and in the darkness bind us
I appreciate the "realness" and honesty of your videos. They are very raw and, in that way, I'm sure very helpful to people struggling to get or stay sober. I wish you much strength in staying sober forever. In this comment, I would like to gently push back on one thing you said-a saying that is very common culture-wide-that "everything happens for a reason." I can't let that just slip by without further comment. If that saying is true then doesn't it mean that World War II, the most calamitous, evil and bloody event in the history of humanity, leaving maybe 70-85 million dead, "happened for a reason"? What "reason" could warrant such suffering? I personally can't accept that view. I don't know about other people. IMO, many people use the term "happened for a reason" when they probably mean something different-e.g., that something can be learned from every single event; that, in a sense, you can "take some good" from every single event no matter how terrible or evil it is. In other words, even the greatest tragedies (e.g., WWII) offer some redemptive potential, offer lessons by which people can learn and change. However, for individuals who change because of a tragedy, who transform themselves into a better version of themselves, some may feel that God created the tragedy as a learning opportunity for them, thus suggesting that the event "happened for a reason," with the reason being that the individual would learn a lesson. IMO, I think this view is self-centered. For example, just because some people may have turned over a new leaf in life because of, let's say, WWII or the Vietnam War or some other calamity, I don't think we should forget that vast numbers of people did not benefit and were not redeemed by the tragic event. They were destroyed by the tragic event. Instead of saying "everything happens for a reason," can't we say (and think) something else? Perhaps: "everything offers a lesson." So, for example, person X's rock bottom alcoholic crisis offers a chance to learn a lesson and change one's life. But is it really necessary to believe that God ordained that all the pain associated with person X's alcoholism should have occurred-that it was all part of a master plan? Person X probably caused lots of pain in others' lives along the way. How did these other people benefit from person X's alcoholism? They didn't. They suffered. Many events occur every day for which there is no obvious purpose-there is just massive suffering and pain. In summary, I think "everything offers a lesson" is a more reasonable concept than "everything happens for a reason." I hope you will be willing to explore the differences between these two concepts. I hope you don't view my comment here as rude or troll-like. I am a strong supporter of you and your work. I just sincerely wanted to encourage you to rethink the "everything happens for a reason" concept, which so many people seem to subscribe to without considering its implications. Thank you for all you do!!! God bless you, Slayer!!! 🙏🙏🙏😊😊
I appreciate your comments always Kathryn thank you!!! Also after reading your message it made me question my own stance which honestly I don’t even have one. I go back and fourth between thinking it all happens for a reason to it’s all crazy and random. God definitely knows all and can see into the future but I do think free will is very real. I loved this comment, thank you. 🙏🖤
@@Slayer-7373 Thank you for your response! I'm sure you're very busy. I think there's a middle ground between "everything happens for a reason" and things being "crazy and random." And I think the concept of free will is key. I don't know about other religions, but Christianity emphasizes that humans have free will. They can choose to try to follow the Commandments (or, put another way, be good, moral people) or they can spend their lives in sin, i.e., basically being immoral jerks. Therefore, according to this model, God does not cause the evil that occurs in the world. God is not moving people around a chessboard like chess pieces so that they can have redemptive realizations. God is the source of the Creation but has given his human creations the power to reject Him, to reject morality. Terrible, evil things happen when people do not act morally (i.e., do not act in accordance with the will of God). Under this model, evil can occur because people have free will: Yet amidst evil, people have the power to extract good lessons from horrible circumstances. Anyhow, that's the philosophy that works for me: People aren't being moved on a chessboard. If one day all the chaos of our lives finally dissolves (let's say by getting sober) and we have purpose, I don't think that means that God masterminded the whole process from A to Z, because if He had, it would also mean that He had let many other innocent people be helpless victims (let's say of the alcoholic in their lives)-all so that one person could be moved around with purpose on the chessboard. I think it makes more sense that the person whose life finally makes sense has extracted good lessons from a bad situation. (One of these lessons, of course, may be that they should devote themselves to Godly, moral purposes.) They have "seen the light" on their own or perhaps with the intervention of the Holy Spirit, but they weren't just being helplessly moved around. In other words, things weren't happening for a preordained reason. Perhaps one can imagine that God gave them challenges or responded to their prayers seeking help, but I don't see that God was doing everything with a foregone ending (reason) in mind. If God acts that way, if God dictates every move in the universe then salvation is meaningless. Salvation comes as the result of a choice on one side (humans) and mercy on the other side (God's). To me, this view harmonizes with the view that God didn't create the evil that infests the world. That is why I reject the concept of "everything happens for a reason." That idea logically leads to an omnipotent God that allows evil and humans who have no free will and whose salvation doesn't mean much. Anyhow, sorry for rambling. Just wanted to elaborate a little more on this topic. Best wishes and God bless! 😊🙏🌺
I used to think eventually you could, but I've learned that it's definitely not possible. It was pretty obvious with the binge drinking I would do every 3 days. You live and you learn.
From the thoughts of a Sober Coach, Melissa. Alcoholism is a chronic condition, and recovery is a lifelong journey. There is no "cure". The next time could be the last time, forever. Experts argue that the concept of "normal drinking" is problematic, as it can create unrealistic expectations and potentially trigger relapse. .... whether an individual can drink "normally" depends on their unique circumstances, treatment history, and personal strengths. Very rare, if possible, in my experience. When thinking < it ALL starts with a thought> about, " Can I drink alcohol again socially?" Change it to, " Why would i want to drink?". There is a reason in Slayer's personal walk!!❤ XoXoX
Alcohol is only pleasurable as the BAC rises. If the BAC stays level, it's boring, but you are still impaired. If the BAC is falling, then it's unpleasant. Getting drunk=BAC rising= Fun Staying level drunk (1 every hour and a half) or being sober all along= Meh Sobering up=Dropping BAC=Painful The pleasure relation that the brain has to alcohol is like the vertical speed indicator on an aircraft. Who wants to have 2-4 drinks and then sober up the rest of the evening? Not me!!! So I just avoid the whole deal. You can't win with alcohol.
It can get easier though. See a therapist to let out some emotion. Possibly get on medication to help you relax if the therapist thinks you need to go to a psychiatrist. I’ll be 11 months sober soon! Some days are a little rough but I’ll take a walk, or call a friend. Keep your head up, buddy!
It worked for a while with sincere trying for a week then full blown alcoholism, I just think I am made different mentally to non alcoholics. They say a craving of body but in the mind I think unchanged, I’ve been addictive since a kid with any drug or activity
The older I get bro the more I think I’m the same exact way as you. I gotta be careful with anything I put into my body because I’m liable to get addicted if it makes me feel any slightness of good or better. We are definitely made differently, doctors have come out and said it really is a disease. It’s crazy man but we can over come, one day at a time bro. God bless
@@Slayer-7373 I was alcoholic from my first drunk can tell u where I was and every detail though I don’t remember much being 12 but I remember that first drunk changed my reality and wanted to do it everyday often sneaking into older peoples caravans to drink, even at 7 years of age I use to sneak in my grandmas liquor cabinet.
The bedroom scene in train spotting very accurate to the DTs mentality, u should check it out, classic film in the UK, requiem for a dream a accurate addiction film I think is written by NA members personally jails institution and death tho I wouldn’t recommend it in early recovery, I may ask in your delirium tremens did you experience going back in history to ancient eyjpt or Russian civilisations or old English houses by any chance feeling connected to the era?
I’ve heard of it but crazy enough never actually seen it. I’ve heard it’s one of the best addiction movies out there, it’s crazy before booze I was such a movie head. Loved tv, lost, breaking bad, game of thrones etc. now I really only watch UA-cam. I saw Egyptian stuff when I’d close my eyes at times, very extremely bizarre weird fked up Egypt. Made no sense to me at all. I heard the UA-camr sacred serpent talk about seeing Egyptian stuff in his severe withdrawal. It’s a wild ride and I need to make more videos on DT’s
Went auto pilot on Kansas City freeway one day..ohh my gosh... totally passed out....thank the Lord Jesus Christ 🙏 i didn't die....or kill someone....ahhhh man
NO absolutely Can NoT drink just 1 or 2. Once you pop, you can't stop! It's ok, cuz it's not worth it one bit. Drinking is not cool! My daughter passed away at 38 y/o because of alcohol 😢
I agree Laura, once it’s on… it’s on. Also I’m so sorry about your daughter 😪😔the reality of this horrible disease, sometimes it takes us. Again Im truly sorry. 🙏
I will say, Smeagol always gets screwed over when he's trying to do the right things 😅. Maybe that's a reflection upon addiction, also. Maybe some people feel as if they may as well go for the ring, regardless of how it's horrible, because doing good may be getting them nowhere 🤷. Just a thought. I'm here as someone who is able to drink, controllaby, when at one point I wasn't able to. I just basically limit the amount and times. I give myself a preset number of beers and it's up to me how to "spend" them. If I take it over the limit one night, I'm screwing myself over another night. And I don't have the mindset I can just go get more. But this takes a lot of willpower. Also, LOVE disc golf as a sober activity! It's so fun (for me)! I'm hard into it and have long distance drivers, medium range discs, and "putters." It's great physical activity and hand-eye coordination building, using slant, slope, wind, tactics, & factoring all the variables. It's very rewarding when you improve, also. I've even competed in competitions and wow, talk about a clean adrenaline rush! You're so right about occupying oneself. You won't even hear the beer goblins chatter, you're full-on into your gameplay. PS: I'm interested in what your brother has to say about having a meth addiction. Meth and alcohol are a complementing combo, at least for me. It's like how ranch & hot wings are for the eaters out there. 😂
That is pretty deep brother, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again I need to make a gollum addiction video. I would love doing it and I’m sure y’all would love it as well 😂🙏, I always liked the character of gollum and felt bad for him. Again maybe that’s cuz I’m an addict who knows, at the time when I was younger I wasn’t but I always rooted for gollum and Sméagol lol. Disc golf is dope dude, me and my one brother went out and disc golfed it was cool. I enjoy just exploring in nature in general. And yes I’m excited for you guys to see the video with my brother, it is going to be interesting haha. Be easy my friend
Hey brother 👋🙏thank you man, I’m trying my best but it’s extremely tough. I’m currently in an outpatient program so that’s been really good but still it’s rough. Sober life is always better yet we always go back, that’s why we gotta take it one day at a time. God bless
No you can't drink ever again ,the sooner you life your life with this knowledge and adjust your life accordingly the better. If you dont , later down the line your liver will start to pack up you will get portal vien hypertension, varices in your chest,bleeding from yor bum, acities, cirrhosis and so on ,its a horrible way to die,for gods sake get a grip now! whilst your young. I was like you and was 58 before i eventually saw sense and it has left me with a damaged body i am 69 now and have all the above , but I'm glad to be sober after an awful 2years in hospital . I wouldnt consider EVER touching that crap again and I'm ashamed of myself for being weak in the past . Im ok now and life is much better having decided to sort myself out permanently, which i achieved by myself . I wish you well and sincerely hope you can change your outlook on life.
Problem drinkers, maybe. Alcoholics, definitely not. Alcoholism permanently alters your brain. It will never again be capable of processing alcohol on the "normal setting". I appreciate that you put "real alcoholics" in the title, because so many people muddy up the conversation by conflating problem drinkers with alcoholics. They are not the same. One is an acorn, and the other is an oak tree. Enjoy that beautiful state of yours, Slayer.
Yes exactly, I said “real” on purpose because it does happen on the time. People get mad and think you’re talking about them and all they do is have 2 beers a night. Yes you still have a problem like you said “problem drinker” but it’s nothing like real alcoholism. It’s next level stuff. I appreciate your comment man and yes Colorado is indeed beautiful 🙏🙏 god bless.
You will find something more signif than booze Slayer. You are young. We've all had Effed up traumas in our life. Yea so? Get your butt to college bec I see wonderful things for you. Yea it's expensive. Yea we call that flirting with relapse. It must be avoided. Thoughts are not all that meaningful in the grand scheme of things .. they're concepts. That's not the real reality. Stay present. There is only this breath. The past is a corpse. The future is pure imagination. Great vid as always.
This is actually a pretty common theme, I understand brother why you are but I hope you find some help man. You could really reverse some damage and stop further damage but i completely understand it’s easier said than done. Hardest thing I’ve had to do which is insane because I’ve seen some crazy sh*t. Anyways god bless man 🙏
Absolutely brother, this stuff is in our blood. It’s pretty crazy when you sit back and think about it like I wonder how many past generation alcoholics were in my family. I know of plenty as of now but the ones from 100-200-300 years ago. Maybe one day we will know haha. God bless man
@@Slayer-7373 It's pretty interesting really. Some Nordics have a natural tolerance to alcohol, were all different. Thanks buddy, keep up the good work man!!
Just wish this nightmare to end. The spiders are crawling in my throat , the fear is flowing through my body, everything is pain now , no detox , cold turkey , if I survive I'll post a video on here , fuck alcohol , the heart palpitations and the dry heaving are somthing out of this world , slayer don't drink bro please don't ever ever drink , I have insects crawling on me 😮😮 , scary ahir , fear at it's worst
@@Slayer-7373 right on. It’s a battle bro let’s keep fighting and I’ll keep supporting your channel any way I can as it supports me tremendously. God bless you man don’t give up. I can relate so much to the fact that every relapse is worse and winds me up in the hospital which is where I am as I type this due to another horrible relapse. Tty soon bro
Let me know y’all’s opinions!!!!
Much love, stay safe and stay sober.
You can never trust a drug addict .. Gustavo Fring
I pray your ok Slay
@@Kristen10-22 I’m hanging in there Kristen, we have a lot to talk about this next videos.
@@Slayer-7373 I’m thinking of you my friend 🩷
*"Can I drink again?"* I often ask myself that question but then I ask myself another one, *"Why would I want to?"* I know what alcohol has done to my life and the more I think about it, I know deep down I don't ever want to pick up a bottle again.
Exactly afterhours, this is how we need to view it. You’re always dropping wisdom!! 🙏
That first drink engages the disease , the illness , currently sat in my bed shaking with a bottle of you know what next to my bed, it's truly scary when your doing it just to feel normal and not get drunk , I've somehow managed to survive to 29 years old after being a fucked up alcoholic for the past six years got progressively worse, so many detoxes so many broken promises so many this is the last time . One day at a time is the only way it can seem to work for me but the idea of that first drink is terrifying , alcohols can never take the first drink because it's all over , coming from the guy drunk at 7am in his bed alone and pathetic , don't do it
You can do this! Don’t give up on yourself!🖤
Brother you can absolutely do it, don’t give up. Never stop trying, man I’ve been in these same positions dozens of times but I get back up and keep pushing forward. I know how tired you are man, I was right where you were not long ago.
I believe in you man, believe in yourself. Pull yourself up and together, you got this. 🙏
I wish I could give you a hug. I hope you are doing okay today.
Omg, the pacing and waiting. That made me shudder. It took me about ten times going through a week of withdrawals (insomnia, high anxiety, rushing heart rate, etc) before I realized I cannot even have one drink. I feel at peace with that now, thankfully. I think sometimes we have to accept that we CAN achieve huge goals. For me, when I start to doubt that, alcoholic thoughts creep in. Those thoughts turn into “just a six pack” and then I’m drinking vodka for breakfast. Fock that nightmare! Thanks so much for the video, Slayer. You and Bat Country are crazy helpful!
“Next thing you know, vodka for breakfast” I know all too well my friend. I really appreciate your support and words brother, shout out to bat country!!!!! That man is saving lives!!!! Comments like these keep me going, god bless.
One day at a time
I hear you when you say perfect antidote man. It is until it is not. Progressive drinking is what happened. Life became unmanageable after a while.
I’m at square 1 once again. Paying the price once again because of a relapse. Why don’t I learn my lesson. I always end up with the same pattern, insanity, withdrawals, hospitals, etc.
Thanks for the video :)
It’s the same thing every single time man, we prove that to ourselves time and time again yet we repeat it. It really is the definition of insanity.
Also I would say man just don’t ever stop trying, LD says that all the time never stop trying to beat it. Eventually it will stick and you will beat it. You got this bro 🙏 god bless
Thumbs Up 👍 and shared out. That question caused me to relapse over and over again before I finally excepted the fact that No!! Never Again!!!🖤
Thank you always Cindy!
And same 100%, it’s always that same question. We trick ourselves so many times into running back to that bottle and it always ends the same.
You've got REAL resolve in this video Slayer. You're convinced that you can't drink again. You even reference that each relapse keeps getting worse and worse and like I keep warning, honestly, the next relapse could mean death for you. I keep you in my thoughts often and it makes me really happy to see you're convinced that you can never drink again. I feel you've really got it this time, no more relapses only permanent sobriety!
Exactly brother I’m serious this time around. I’m calling it how it really is because that’s how you get sober and stay sober. Acceptance is huge is sobriety bro and acceptance of who I really am only benefits my sobriety and overall well being.
It’s a battle man that’s for sure, I’m taking it one day at a time and tryna count my blessings. Be easy my friend.
Slayer I’m 9/10 days sober so far this month. I had 6 beers Sunday but felt terrible after. I feel so much better without it and don’t even think it’s worth it anymore. It’s true that you can just drink normally because while I don’t really drink liquor or anything higher than 5% I still just can’t have 1 drink. I didn’t need 6 the last time I drank and am trying to go the rest of the month sober.
You are doing great my friend, just keep working at it. One day at a time, you will get completely over it before too long. I’m right there with you battling bro trying to figure it out, god bless keep up the good work and remember how that poison makes you feel.
Even just 1 night of drinking when you have all ready bad anxiety issues, will causes panic attacks the next day and when you have a real bad panic attack, your anxiety and panic levels are out of whack for weeks/months or longer. I always tell myself just think about the anxiety... that anxiety is unreal.
100%!!! That’s the “kindling” effect happening pretty much immediately after just 1 single night of drinking.
Like you said the panic attacks, the anxiety……. Unless you’ve been through it people truly don’t understand. It’s absolutely awful.
And like you said the withdrawals literally do last for months, they can last up to 2 years I even heard!!!! How insane is that??? I’m still going through withdrawal I feel like and god only knows when I’ll actually feel normal.
Anyways always appreciate your comments my friend. Bless 🙏
@@Slayer-7373 Bless brother. If I magically teleported back in time and tried to tell myself years ago how bad the anxiety was after drinking, I wouldn't believe it.. If I never drank, i still wouldn't believe it. Truly incomprehensible.
Late night slayer upload. Awesome. Always good to see when working nights
Jeff!!!! My man!!!!!! I appreciate you brother. 🙏
I am not a drinker and I watch your videos, LD’s and bat country. I watch cuz I learn from you guys and absolutely respect and admire that you all are making lemonade out of the lemon and paying it forward. You , Slayer, are gifted and could be a public speaker at schools etc… you have a future in helping people as you are now. I pray for your sobriety daily. I’m a mom and I talk about you with my kids. You are making a difference even with non drinkers. Love ya❤
Wow, I don’t even know what to say. This is so awesome, thank you so much. I’m glad I’m helping, y’all help me just as much. God bless love ya too 😄
@@Slayer-7373 just wanted to clarify the misnomer that if you’re watching this then you’re probably an alcoholic … so not true. You are teaching me daily, as a non drinker and I so appreciate your authenticity . You really would be great speaking to students, you are very relatable, that’s why I share your videos with my kids. ❤️
Slayer and booze 🥃 = Gollum and the ring 💍.
Lol 100% red snapper.
I need to make a whole video on gollum and addiction!!!
Bat Country's story is nuts. No matter how bad it is there is always someone who's been through more.
Absolutely man it can ALWAYS get worse, but it doesn’t have to.
Bat country’s story is absolutely wild, I’m glad he’s alive to tell the tale.
Good to hear from you man. 🙏 I totally agree. We can absolutely not drink again. Like you said one leads to another and another and another… at some point we must say enough is enough! Let’s say it now! Today! Stay strong. 💪 🙏
Hey brother 👋 it’s always good to hear from you too my friend.
Also absolutely, every single time. 💪one day at a time man.
I was just in Colorado last weekend bro. I’m in northern New Mexico. We’re neighbors. You’re doing great bro and like I commented on the last video, I’m proud of you and your commitment to your sobriety. I hope to meet you someday bro. And, yes, Colorado is beautiful and one of my favorite states. Much love to you.
That’s awesome Carlos, Breckinridge is breath taking man to say the least. Amazing place to get sober!!!! Also new mexico nice, my family has been out there multiple times. One day we will have to have a big meet up! 🙏 god bless man
@@Slayer-7373 Awesome bro! Los Alamos, so not too far away from Colorado. Sounds great, a big meet up would be great. God bless you to 🙏🏼
This came up in last night's meeting and everyone said no. We have an incurable disease that can go into remission. The fire will be re-lit the second you pick up. And that is from experience. Good, brutal honesty here, Slayer
I 100% agree shades. We got this sh*t for life.
Thanks shades 🙏
Once you have it, you have it.
@@Slayer-7373Exactly and there’s no way to put the genie back into the bottle once we reach that point. If there is, I haven’t found it.
@@Slayer-7373 Once the frontal lobe disconnects from the midbrain and that THIQ accumulates, forget it.
Cheers bro. Day 4....
🙌💪👏4 days is awesome my friend, congratulations.
Beautiful, caring compassionate video that will help so many. Thank you Slayer for all the love you show for those in your community. Take care, Bless You. 🙏🙏
Much love to you Debbie, thank you 🙏 hope you’re having a wonderful night.
look forward to the interview with your brother man, this was a great video
Hey thanks brother 🙏, I hope y’all enjoy it.
Thank you for the two videos. And for always being so honest.
Stay safe and take care. 🙏🙏 Debbie
Hey thank you Debbie, If it wasn’t for you guys I wouldn’t even be making videos so the thanks is equal back to you. I hope that you’re doing well and keeping positive. God bless 🙏🙏
I relate so much to this. Thanks for another vid!
:) this makes me happy, I’m glad you could relate. We are all so alike it’s actually crazy.
God bless.
Hey man i really enjoyed your talk with LD these last couple of days, it was very touching.
Hey 👋 thanks so much brother, I’m glad you enjoyed them man. I really enjoyed the talk with LD, he’s a genuinely awesome guy. Also side note I was meaning to listen to some zeppelin today and seeing your name reminded me 😂, god bless brother
Your not alone slayer man , you never are. You should use all your knowledge and wisdom on alcohol to help and change people's life's you are very educated on the matter. Alcohol is truly demonic if you have the disease it terrifying it's absolute insanity like you said in the video. Times waits for no man or woman and that substance will fuck us up quicker than anything , it's horrible the realisation when you know you can never drink again because kindling is a real thing. Every relapse is worse .. kindling , neuropathys in the brain are triggered the disease remains dormant no matter how long you abstain , it's fatal 100% of the time if you take that first drink and engage the disease
Hey Luke 👋 i appreciate you brother I really do. You’ve been here from the beginning, you share your journey, never read a bad or negative comment from you and I just want to say I’m glad you’re part of this community bro.
I appreciate those words as well, I do need to use the knowledge for good. To prevent myself from drinking and helping others not to. I think it would be so cool to go into a career path of helping other addicts. How cool would that be???
Also 100% bro, it’s straight 👺👹🤮, the people who know, know. It’s absolutely awful and yes extremely terrifying.
It’s like you said once the disease is “unlocked” so to speak, it never fully leaves, it just sleeps and at any time one drink and it wakes up.
God bless man 🙏
You could drink, but it wouldn't be the feeling you're looking for.
We don't drink to have fun necessarily, my breakup was so traumatic I spent the last 3 years subconsciously trying to create a more traumatic experience to overcome the issues i was already dealing with, personally.
Since I've started using nicotine, I'm technically been able to drink (a lot) the last couple months without any repercussions. But it's not *that good feeling* anymore that we all HATE TO LOVE.
*If you could drink normally, you wouldn't want to.*
(Shit is boring, we're attracted to the hellfire)
That's why I think it's best to stay away from it.
Because I know if I get the high I'm really chasing, there's gonna be consequences.
"Right when I start to feel good again, I go right back to square one"
Damn, I hate this shit... everything is gonna be okay Slayer, just dropped one of them prayer hitters for you 🙏
Your comments are always on point brother, you’re the hitter my friend 👏😂, I remember Theo saying someone was a “young Christian warrior” as a Christian that makes me laugh bro 😂
@Slayer-7373 gang gang! I'm thankful to have you, and theo in my life. "Focus on creating the new instead of trying to get rid of the old" or however that saying goes... you've already heard it 100 times but something tells me to drop it again.
You're a Godsend, Slayer. May your path be clear and your message continue to reach many 🙏❤️🔥
This is really amazing of you to say Sarah, thank you 🙏 god bless.
I'm 44 and the past 4 years probably took 8 off my life, I'm terrified of ending up needing to drink rather than wanting to.i believe It's easier when has supportive living family.i don't have anyone at all.i don't think anyone out there is any "loved one" that cares if I'm alive.i have no children or real friends and 1 living family member.i don't think my outcome is good.yet again, I'm doing something 100% ALONE
You always have someone Christina and that someone is god. That might sound cringe but it’s true, he’s with you always and he’s always your friend. Call out to him some night when you’re lonely, let him know what’s on your soul.
Also you have this community here, so many people would be more than happy to chat with you and become friends. That’s why I started this channel was for people like yourself, we all need help and making these videos not only helps me relate but it helps y’all.
Keep your head up, you got this. 🙏💪
Thanks Slayer for the great video 🙏👍👏♥️
Thank you!!
Alcohol has a very high interest rate that must be paid back immediately! I love this channel. You are a very good communicator, a genuine nice person who speaks from experience. I have been half-way there when it comes to withdrawals. Haven't experienced full on hallucinations and DTs so far, but was at the doorstep of this hell. Nausea, panic attacks, The Fear, couldn't sleep, and when I tried taking a walk, I just felt like I was experiencing the world through a fog or like a third person, very weird feeling. Over the past year I've had like 30 bad withdrawals, that's 2-3 a month. They haven't landed me in hospital yet but it was a very close call a few times, and I would surely end up there if I continued. This channel helps me remember it all and I know I'm not alone. Thank you Slayer, stay strong as you already are. Looking forward to the interview with your brother!
Hey cow 👋 thanks so much brother I’m glad you’re liking the content. If it helps y’all it really helps me too.
Also 100% man, it’s absolutely awful, I know of that brain fog that you describe. It’s horrible and only people who have really been through that craziness can understand it. No sleep at all for a week sometimes it’s absolutely awful.
You’re definitely not alone bro, god bless you 🙏
Excellent description! I agree, the interest rates, way too high
I say nope. Second runs!!! In the pouring rain, in the snowstorm so glad those days are over. I can cozy up with a blanket and movie. i still want to drink trust me i want to so bad but it never did me any good. Now beer is available at 24 hour corner stores.. omg. Congrats and keep fighting for your sobriety! You're doing great! I watch your channel for inspiration.
Absolutely, tracking through 2 feet of snow for a few shots I did those things many times. Walked in rain as you said, snow, blazing heat it didn’t matter.
I appreciate you and I appreciate your comments thank you. One day at a time 🙏
Hey Slay!🖤 thank you for another motivating, helpful video. I ended up relapsing after 7+ months sober. I feel like I’ll never overcome alcoholism… but your videos give me hope. Thank you! Sending you lots of love!
Hey nat it’s so good to hear from you!!! Also that does not take that 7 months away, 7 months is absolutely incredible 🙌🖤 that is 100% proof you can do it. Ive never had 7 months, please be proud of yourself and be proud that you see it for what it is, a trap. Every single time. I’m extremely proud of you, sending you much love to you back!!! 🙏🖤
@@Slayer-7373 thank you so much, Slay! Your words mean more than you know. Thank you, I appreciate you!! 🖤
@@natsnikkii yea of course, any time 🙏 don’t hesitate to reach out!! 🖤
@@Slayer-7373thank you, Slay! 🖤🙏🏽
Hey Slayer - all I can say is the way you depict the struggle with this disease proves how it defies all logic. When it’s gotten to that point, there is no going back as moderation does not exist. It’s like listening to song on repeat 🔁 over and over again until you no longer hear the song as you fade away. Whoa 😳! As far as the guilt you carry for the past and the what if’s, those are just chains and bricks holding you down. It contributes to the rationalization to fall back to the old ways. Don’t punish yourself for doing things when you were not only knee deep but completely engulfed in it. It doesn’t excuse it or give us a pass but some of the things that have happened in your life is not a result of your actions. You know what I’m referring to. That was done as a way to payback and is on a whole other level. You don’t owe them anything after that, no more regrets or wasted tears. They did what they did and that’s that. You need to release it to the universe. It’s time…
I’ll end with this, regardless of where each of us are in this journey, whether we are directly or indirectly affected by alcohol or any other substance, we are worth separating ourselves from it. It doesn’t add anything positive that’s for sure. Well long post again, it’s Wednesday morning watching you and feeling so positive. I’m looking forward to the chat with your bro.
Thank you for being the beautiful soul you are and taking the time to share your insight with all of us. You are worth it my friend. Much love and peaceful thoughts. 💜 💜
Hey micru 👋 hope you’re well as always!!!
Also I know, it literally is the definition of insanity. We are doing the same thing over and over expecting different results but always getting the same.
Also i appreciate those words about that situation. I really need to hear stuff like that from time to time just to ground myself.
We will definitely make it a positive no matter where our roads take us. Thanks as always micru, I think y’all will enjoy seeing my brother.
Much love 🙏🙏
Thanks so much for the video Slayer! You’re doing a great job 👏🏻 with your channel… ❤❤
🙏hey thanks so much Jackie!!! God bless
Watching this video is almost like watching myself because everything you said is literally what I've done, been through, experienced and struggling with! Everything!
We are all so alike I’ve found in addiction brother. I’m glad you could relate, I hope it helped in some way. Bless
@@Slayer-7373 It certainly did, knowing that I'm not alone and not fighting an everyday battle for the rest of my life all alone! Thank you bro, take care!
Love your channel bro. This is hard for some people to think about, but a true addict can never have enough; or the addict uses all there energy trying to find more. I believe deep down inside everyone is an addict, but people can control the addiction or let it take control. The gorilla in the room today is the internet. People cant even have lunch with their children without playing 90% of the time on there phone. Besides the point, I am an alcoholic. God, Family and friends are a great help. Take care Slayer and the next time I write I will be 3 months sober buddy!
Hey 👋 thank you brother!!! Y’all are just as much part of the channel as I am. If not for you guys I’d just be talking to myself. When I read comments like yours it shows me I’m not alone in the thoughts and how I feel and who I am.
Let’s take it one day at a time brother, thank you 🙏 god bless
Fantastic Video Slayer!!!🖤. It’s completely Poisonous ☠️ to us. For me, I always took things to the extreme. If I’m good, I’m going to be excellent. If I’m bad, I’m going to be the worst!! The hilarious thing about it is I used to think I was unique, the only one. There are many of us. You are never alone.
🙏🖤
Awesome comment.
The golem reference is on point. Addiction creates a desperation that those without it can't imagine. When we're in that desperate place, we become willing to do things that we couldn't imagine doing when we're sober. When you're talking about putting yourself first, it's really crazy because nowadays and before my uncontrolled addiction, I always think of myself last. And not because I'm self-sacrificing, but because I just get so much joy out of taking care of my loved ones. But during that time, I lied, I was sneaky and secretive. I would put others first when it was absolutely necessary, but only then. Every day, my brain was only working out how to maintain my addiction. It's so good to see you doing so well. I watched the clip below. You guys really created a great interview series. Your conversation was on point and so helpful. I can't thank you both enough for all that you do! I commented on ld's upload that I know that you'll crush it no matter what you decide to do in life. You are going to do great things, no matter what it is. But I could see you as a counselor. I think you'd be amazing in that role. I hope everyone's well is going great!! Much love always to you and this whole community, slayer!!! ❤❤😊❤❤
Oh, and I don't think that those of us who know we're addicts, and have been to the depths we've been should consider it a possibility to drink again. The risk is just way too high ❤❤
Nice to see you as always my friend. Hope you’re having a nice week. We’re at the midpoint…you know what that means…Friday is around the corner 😊. Peaceful thoughts and all the best juju to you as always.
Hey Amanda 👋 always good to hear from you my friend!!!
Also I think so too 100%, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again I need to make an entire lord of the rings gollum video.
Like you said it really is hard to imagine some of the things we do and say in active addiction but that truly isn’t us. Deep down we are decent people, I know for a fact you’re a good person!! 🖤🙏
Also I’m so glad you guys liked the talk with LD, I loved it. I thought it was super interesting and informative.
A counselor would definitely be awesome I won’t lie, helping people also helps you. Much love 🙏
@@amandaflaherty7528absolutely
@Micru866 Hi, my friend!! It's good to see you, too! Hope you're doing well. Yes, you're right. It's officially Friyay eve! Sorry that I'm only responding now. If you can believe it, my work schedule has become even more complicated. BUT, I just have to trudge through until December, and it should start evening out!! All this good juju always 😊❤️
Well spoken Slayer!! You said a lot of very true things especially things that I’ve forgotten about through my recovery, things to remind ourselves! Thank you bro much love!
Hey thank you my friend!
@@Slayer-7373 you’re welcome!
I was blacked out drunk one night..called this dude out!! Come outside!! We gonna box!! I swing this extremely wild haymaker ✊ punch ...he dodged it...cracked me in my eye socket..lol... bleeding everywhere.. don't drink!!!
Unfortunately bro I have similar stories lol, god bless
Man, it's so grounding when your ego also takes a hit, not just your physical body. I've been in this position many times but I've also been on "winning" side (it's the losing side, in the end) and it just made my ego even more artificially boosted.
If you think your face may be broken, it's okay to visit the hospital. I got seriously whooped once (he was the aggro, not me) and I seriously thought my face was absolutely broken. (it wasn't and they gave vicodin). Went back to drinking that night before pressing charges the next day because he straight sucker punched me. He got convicted of felony assault with intent to cause bodily harm. So, yeah, court is also an option if people aren't fighting fair.
Cussed out multiple bosses!! Spazzed out on them!! Because of alcohol!! One boss..ex .. cop...called cops on me ...cops show up..I spazzed out on them.. luckily..I wasn't flying my arms too close to them ... threateningly to kill my boss...ohhh my gosh.. because of alcohol.. don't drink!!
Once you have a little, the alcohol quickly overtakes your reasoning, then you think, a little more won't hurt, and pretty soon, we'll I've gone this far, might as well "enjoy" a total blowout!!!
You can't go back "normally ' in my opinion. !!!
Great video Slayer my friend 🩵 🙏 🙏
Exactly Craig and it happens to fast brother. Just not worth the risk, appreciate the comments as always brother, god bless 🙏
One day you ll definitely move past it. On your side is your age to fix physically Slayer. As that side repairs its going to be your person "purpose " and use your great people skills to tell others how it works.
Janet 🇬🇧 uk
This is really awesome of you to say Janet thank you so much, I really hope so. That would be a dream come true 🙏
I needed to hear this today. I started reminiscing a little too hard about getting all fucked up drinking and smoking. It sounded appealing but I'm over 5 weeks into sobriety, way too invested to just fuck it off in an instant. I know it will just lead to me being shit faced guilt trippin myself and drinking more and more. U definitely helped me out today dude so thanks for that
@@bak1386 proud of you brother, you absolutely are making the right decision by staying away from it. Nothing but lies!!! It’s awesome to hear my video helped you off that ledge so to speak.
God bless bro
My mom and dad paid for this nice rehab center in Minnesota...in 2016 for me ...when i was 35 years old...45 day clinic... great place! After 18 days i relapsed. All that money down the drain...30 grand!!😢..ugh...
I know that feeling bro, that’s how it was when I went to my very first rehab years ago. That’s a rough one, we owe it to ourselves and our parents to stay sober.
Prayers!!!!!
I get the one day at a time strategy, but I wouldn't say, will I ever drink again, I don't know? I think that's a bad strategy. You're leaving the window cracked open ever so slightly that the enemy will definitely take advantage of it. Because he hates you after all, and would love to devour you. P.S. I got the chuckles when you said that if you're watching this video, you got a problem. I guess thats why I'm not into cat videos.
100% man, we can’t even leave the window cracked open at all. We come to realize that I think over a long period of time, it’s taken me forever and that other side of my brain still wants to leave some window cracked. Not worth the risk.
And yes 😂, aye we are all here together lol.
_Good to see you, my man. I get the sence you're an old soul and here for exactly this, at least for the moment. Who knows how far the ripples will go?_
🙏 🎶
I’m definitely an old soul
This is my experience and i was a pretty bad alcoholic. At one point a 1/5th of 80 proof a day and 24 beers when i couldn't get liquor! I still drink but no more than once a month period! I've been doing this for a while now but i did break this rule a few months ago and didn't drink for a couple months! I was shocked how quickly the taste for alcohol can back! Over the course of a week and drinking four of those days got to where i wanted it every single day!
Having one is really not an option for me. I drink at home and have enough to get obliterated so I won't get out after I start. I know this is a dangerous game I'm playing!
Our stories are always so similar in recovery have you noticed that brother? Also I would always do the same if I couldn’t get liquor I’d try to get the most beer I possibly could, it was brutal some days trying to get that beer to stay down. We are better than all of that my friend.
God bless
Drinking mode is like matrix, you have that called tunnel vision, it just you and bottle nothing else matters that point and yes indeed answer the question i don't think i can't never drink again
This is a fantastic way of putting it, 100% it’s all down hill from there.
Hey I also appreciate you always commenting 🙏 that means a lot, I love hearing from y’all. Bless my friend
You are not going to be struggling with it 20yrs later! Just focus on getting through the first year. Doesn't matter how or what you do only that you get there!!
Absolutely Richard, thank you brother I need to hear words like these. They keep me fighting so thank you, god bless 🙏
Hang in there Slayer!! You have a whole prayer army behind you. I was wondering about you since you have not posted anything….so you are noticed and missed …your absence is deafening. It was noted in comments on LD’s recent video on 9/16. We love you so much..I am praying for you brother ❤️🙏🏻.
🖤I’ll be back soon y’all, I love you guys too, thank you for checking in 🙏🖤
Very truthful narrative. This is EXACTLY what it's like.
💯💯
We're truly masters at lying to ourselves. The dragon's gone forever, there's no way to reach it ever again. I've been sober for about a month now, and can finally think again.
I chucled a little about the drinking on holidays: is there anything more Christmas-y than getting sh*tfaced? Happy birthday Jesus, let's have another round!
100% ilaa, a constant never ending chase for something as you said we won’t ever reach again. It’s a trick and a real trap from that point forward.
Also kindling effect and what it does to your brain is very real, it’s absolutely awful.
Also congratulations on 1 month!!!!! 💪🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌 that is what I’m talking about!!!! Very proud and you should be proud of yourself.
It’s crazy they say it can take up to 1 year just for your brain to return fully to normal. How crazy is that?
Anyways much love, bless.
And i know right, so many get trashed on the so called “Christ” day. 😪, a glass of wine is cool but getting trashed it’s like come on now.
@@Slayer-7373 Thank you
I understand this mechanism because it worked the same way with me but with other substances. Sometimes alcohol has even gotten to me. Not to extreme levels, but I see the patterns starting. Then I understand that I probably shouldn't drink either. I can see the same addiction patterns in other areas of my life after my severe opiate addiction. I may have overcome that, & some other things, but I'm far from understanding & beating addiction. That's a monster I may never fully understand.
I know this video is 2 months old but I'm finding it now at a time when I need it. Thank you for sharing.
Do you have an email lady scar face?? I would like to talk with you.
I could email you if you'd like. I tried to leave my email a few times & my comment gets removed for some reason. Probably a UA-cam glitch thing. Who knows. Tech is weird sometimes.
Yes, with the right tools and understanding. I had spontaneous recovery and alcohol isn't fun anymore. I can have 2 drinks and be done
You are the exception my friend, but this is very cool.
@Slayer-7373 there are lots of people who recocer without intervention, but AA doesn't talk about it. AA doesn't produce numbers and operates on shame, making relapses worse
Ive tried over 40 times and the answer for me is hellllllll no
Lol same here my friend.
Thanks for the comment, god bless 🙏
When i take a sip its game on .
Lucky for me i only drink beer.
Greetings from the Netherlands.
100% the same way my friend. Also that is awesome, shout-out to the Netherlands 🇳🇱 🙏god bless
Don’t fantasize about it!!! I called it my evil headspace, where the thoughts would begin. Once I identified it, it was a huge step towards killing it & avoiding relapse.
This has been huge for me too John!!! Recognizing that evil voice is key to avoid self harm and prevent relapse!!!
God bless brother 🙏
Run dmc...rock box...best rap song ever...
I f with some of run dmc, I like old school rap.
I can answer that Slay… 20relapses + into early sobriety in my early 20’s the answer NOPE!
I cannot take just 1 of anything!
I can’t control it
I can’t change it
I didn’t cause it
Addiction controls me
I’ve met death too 3X
Late 30’s dx w BRCA 2+
b cancer. 18hr surgery, let’s do it all at once, gutted my chest and insides like a fish.
I lived to speak my truth.
Healthy me was gone in less than a breath.
We are one bad thought away from relapse.
We all have our own road…
You never know what you’re gonna get.
I love being in my early 50’s… age does unlock wisdom no lie.
I will die sober on my own terms.
The relapse is already in the ?
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Bingo Kristen!
@@Slayer-7373 🫶🏻
Good to hear from you and the answer is no it's the same as somebody who has took even prescription dose benzodiazepines they work until they start causing anxiety and it might take years for it to start causing anxiety benzodiazepines or alcohol eventually turns paradoxical on you and then on the benzodiazepines once you taper off then you got moths to years of fcking withdraw and all it takes is that 1 benzo and you relapsed so I can tell you I would not drink another one that's my opinion!
Hey thanks brother 🙏, also absolutely man. Once it’s in your brain you literally won’t be the same ever again as far as withdrawal goes. One single night of drinking will send me into weeks of withdrawal. The “kindling” affect is very real. It messes your brain up. Benzos are just as wicked, luckily I’ve never battled with those but I’ve heard horror stories.
God bless bro 🙏
Unfortunately this everything happens for a reason is just a bias and being alcoholic is a tragedy. Of course it's wonderful that there's hope and you're here helping people out. Your content is so real, so important and it helps me a lot. I'm not an alcoholic myself but I am a woman who has been traded for alcohol and treated like shit, so I understand your ex. And to hear the things you say, ease my burden, make me realise he was under a demonic spell.
This comment is mega DEEP, I’m so sorry you went through that horrible, horrific stuff. Nobody should ever have to go through that. It’s 100% a demonic spell, “scientists” and “doctors” call it a disease now. Maybe it’s even deeper than that, whatever it is it’s absolutely awful and blows my mind when and I’m an alcoholic. Crazy.
God bless you 🙏
@@Slayer-7373 But for me demons are not exactly external beings that latch onto us or whatever you and I might have heard of. My therapist asked me this yesterday, do you think they are some kind of souls or the sole product of our brain? I said I don’t know, but upon thinking about it, I came to a conclusion. They’re neither of these things, they are the child of our brain and alcohol, of ourselves and something external (alcohol), like demi-gods and the Nephilim. But this is just an allegory. In reality, alcoholism is a demon because it’s the resulting system from the merging of biological processes and alcohol, by which we grant access to our every thought, need, feeling, fear and motivation to this stranger and in no time it will be taking advantage of all this information to bring us down, until there’s nothing left that could have been also taken. In this matter, it’s like a succubus /incubus, they seduce us, make friends with us, take us for their lovers, marry us, isolate us, rob us of people and stuff, drain our health, trap our mind, then all of a sudden we are inmates, living in shackles, in dungeons hidden in the darkest depths of our mind, while it takes on our life. It’s funny to see you alcoholics talk about alcohol as something you deserve as a gift or compensation after some ordeal or suffer, and it reveals this power it has over you to appear as something delicious, heavenly, as salvation from pain, when, in fact, it’s the ultimate pain and hell. But this feature reveals the demonic character of this relationship and that it has the grip of your will. All of a sudden, the decision is no longer yours to make, because you and I have been raised to make decisions based upon our wishes and dreams and hopes and taste and likes and fears and all that is accessible to be known and toyed with by the demon. I am an atheist, hundred per cent, I don’t believe the gods and demons that have been invented by human beings to be factual, but it doesn’t mean that there is no type of demon whatsoever, that ideas are not living things, for instance; maybe they are and this is something that is always on my mind, ideas they live, breath and reproduce. But what you and guys like Sacred Serpent, Delirium Dirk and Bat Country say you have experienced makes me think of alcoholism as some kind of demon, but what I mean by that is a demonic idea, or a destructive process that develops within the person and is out to get them. And I’m sorry to disagree with your thought that you being an alcoholic had a purpose for you to be here now helping us out. I think no live is a purpose for anything other than life itself, otherwise people that had their lives destroyed so that others could learn a lesson or thrive would be but tools, and no human being can be a means to any other end than his/her own life. Love your content, man, thank you so much for all your effort!
The fact that the ring was left lying in the middle of the most pristine & peaceful haven is just pure genius on the part of Tolkein , Even in the most quiet and lovely places lies a potential seed of war, corrupting the most ordinary folk, one ring to rule them all and in the darkness bind us
Pure genius indeed my friend.
I appreciate the "realness" and honesty of your videos. They are very raw and, in that way, I'm sure very helpful to people struggling to get or stay sober. I wish you much strength in staying sober forever. In this comment, I would like to gently push back on one thing you said-a saying that is very common culture-wide-that "everything happens for a reason." I can't let that just slip by without further comment. If that saying is true then doesn't it mean that World War II, the most calamitous, evil and bloody event in the history of humanity, leaving maybe 70-85 million dead, "happened for a reason"? What "reason" could warrant such suffering? I personally can't accept that view. I don't know about other people. IMO, many people use the term "happened for a reason" when they probably mean something different-e.g., that something can be learned from every single event; that, in a sense, you can "take some good" from every single event no matter how terrible or evil it is. In other words, even the greatest tragedies (e.g., WWII) offer some redemptive potential, offer lessons by which people can learn and change. However, for individuals who change because of a tragedy, who transform themselves into a better version of themselves, some may feel that God created the tragedy as a learning opportunity for them, thus suggesting that the event "happened for a reason," with the reason being that the individual would learn a lesson. IMO, I think this view is self-centered. For example, just because some people may have turned over a new leaf in life because of, let's say, WWII or the Vietnam War or some other calamity, I don't think we should forget that vast numbers of people did not benefit and were not redeemed by the tragic event. They were destroyed by the tragic event. Instead of saying "everything happens for a reason," can't we say (and think) something else? Perhaps: "everything offers a lesson." So, for example, person X's rock bottom alcoholic crisis offers a chance to learn a lesson and change one's life. But is it really necessary to believe that God ordained that all the pain associated with person X's alcoholism should have occurred-that it was all part of a master plan? Person X probably caused lots of pain in others' lives along the way. How did these other people benefit from person X's alcoholism? They didn't. They suffered. Many events occur every day for which there is no obvious purpose-there is just massive suffering and pain. In summary, I think "everything offers a lesson" is a more reasonable concept than "everything happens for a reason." I hope you will be willing to explore the differences between these two concepts. I hope you don't view my comment here as rude or troll-like. I am a strong supporter of you and your work. I just sincerely wanted to encourage you to rethink the "everything happens for a reason" concept, which so many people seem to subscribe to without considering its implications. Thank you for all you do!!! God bless you, Slayer!!! 🙏🙏🙏😊😊
I appreciate your comments always Kathryn thank you!!! Also after reading your message it made me question my own stance which honestly I don’t even have one. I go back and fourth between thinking it all happens for a reason to it’s all crazy and random. God definitely knows all and can see into the future but I do think free will is very real. I loved this comment, thank you. 🙏🖤
@@Slayer-7373 Thank you for your response! I'm sure you're very busy. I think there's a middle ground between "everything happens for a reason" and things being "crazy and random." And I think the concept of free will is key. I don't know about other religions, but Christianity emphasizes that humans have free will. They can choose to try to follow the Commandments (or, put another way, be good, moral people) or they can spend their lives in sin, i.e., basically being immoral jerks. Therefore, according to this model, God does not cause the evil that occurs in the world. God is not moving people around a chessboard like chess pieces so that they can have redemptive realizations. God is the source of the Creation but has given his human creations the power to reject Him, to reject morality. Terrible, evil things happen when people do not act morally (i.e., do not act in accordance with the will of God). Under this model, evil can occur because people have free will: Yet amidst evil, people have the power to extract good lessons from horrible circumstances. Anyhow, that's the philosophy that works for me: People aren't being moved on a chessboard. If one day all the chaos of our lives finally dissolves (let's say by getting sober) and we have purpose, I don't think that means that God masterminded the whole process from A to Z, because if He had, it would also mean that He had let many other innocent people be helpless victims (let's say of the alcoholic in their lives)-all so that one person could be moved around with purpose on the chessboard. I think it makes more sense that the person whose life finally makes sense has extracted good lessons from a bad situation. (One of these lessons, of course, may be that they should devote themselves to Godly, moral purposes.) They have "seen the light" on their own or perhaps with the intervention of the Holy Spirit, but they weren't just being helplessly moved around. In other words, things weren't happening for a preordained reason. Perhaps one can imagine that God gave them challenges or responded to their prayers seeking help, but I don't see that God was doing everything with a foregone ending (reason) in mind. If God acts that way, if God dictates every move in the universe then salvation is meaningless. Salvation comes as the result of a choice on one side (humans) and mercy on the other side (God's). To me, this view harmonizes with the view that God didn't create the evil that infests the world. That is why I reject the concept of "everything happens for a reason." That idea logically leads to an omnipotent God that allows evil and humans who have no free will and whose salvation doesn't mean much. Anyhow, sorry for rambling. Just wanted to elaborate a little more on this topic. Best wishes and God bless! 😊🙏🌺
Almost got into shootout at the gas station ⛽...and yes..its the785
Booze leads us into absolute wild situations bro. I was a crazy person at times for real.
God bless man always 🙏
I used to think eventually you could, but I've learned that it's definitely not possible. It was pretty obvious with the binge drinking I would do every 3 days. You live and you learn.
We all tell ourselves over and over, “I swear this time I’ll control it, it will be different!!!” Is it ever? No….. lol, god bless you
@@Slayer-7373 I agree it's the same 💩 every time
From the thoughts of a Sober Coach, Melissa.
Alcoholism is a chronic condition, and recovery is a lifelong journey.
There is no "cure".
The next time could be the last time, forever.
Experts argue that the concept of "normal drinking" is problematic, as it can create unrealistic expectations and potentially trigger relapse.
.... whether an individual can drink "normally" depends on their unique circumstances, treatment history, and personal strengths.
Very rare, if possible, in my experience.
When thinking < it ALL starts with a thought> about, " Can I drink alcohol again socially?"
Change it to, " Why would i want to drink?".
There is a reason in Slayer's personal walk!!❤
XoXoX
Beautiful comment 🖤
Cussed out my aunt !! She's a great woman.. because of alcohol
Alcohol is only pleasurable as the BAC rises. If the BAC stays level, it's boring, but you are still impaired. If the BAC is falling, then it's unpleasant.
Getting drunk=BAC rising= Fun
Staying level drunk (1 every hour and a half) or being sober all along= Meh
Sobering up=Dropping BAC=Painful
The pleasure relation that the brain has to alcohol is like the vertical speed indicator on an aircraft.
Who wants to have 2-4 drinks and then sober up the rest of the evening? Not me!!!
So I just avoid the whole deal. You can't win with alcohol.
This is 100% pure facts lol.
Good video
Hey 👋 thanks brother, you’re always in the comments showing love and support. It’s very much appreciated and you’re a smart dude.
God bless bro
@@Slayer-7373 thanks
You're NOT a monster, the disease is.
Agreed debrah, thank you 🙏
Im gonna keep catching that butterfly in that dream of mine , in my lucid dreams
How are you doing Luke??
It can get easier though. See a therapist to let out some emotion. Possibly get on medication to help you relax if the therapist thinks you need to go to a psychiatrist. I’ll be 11 months sober soon! Some days are a little rough but I’ll take a walk, or call a friend. Keep your head up, buddy!
We will make it through brother, I like those ideas. God bless man 🙏
I stole thousands of dollars from my Dad!! Finally..broke down...cried.. admitted the truth
It worked for a while with sincere trying for a week then full blown alcoholism, I just think I am made different mentally to non alcoholics. They say a craving of body but in the mind I think unchanged, I’ve been addictive since a kid with any drug or activity
The older I get bro the more I think I’m the same exact way as you. I gotta be careful with anything I put into my body because I’m liable to get addicted if it makes me feel any slightness of good or better.
We are definitely made differently, doctors have come out and said it really is a disease. It’s crazy man but we can over come, one day at a time bro. God bless
@@Slayer-7373 I was alcoholic from my first drunk can tell u where I was and every detail though I don’t remember much being 12 but I remember that first drunk changed my reality and wanted to do it everyday often sneaking into older peoples caravans to drink, even at 7 years of age I use to sneak in my grandmas liquor cabinet.
The bedroom scene in train spotting very accurate to the DTs mentality, u should check it out, classic film in the UK, requiem for a dream a accurate addiction film I think is written by NA members personally jails institution and death tho I wouldn’t recommend it in early recovery, I may ask in your delirium tremens did you experience going back in history to ancient eyjpt or Russian civilisations or old English houses by any chance feeling connected to the era?
I’ve heard of it but crazy enough never actually seen it. I’ve heard it’s one of the best addiction movies out there, it’s crazy before booze I was such a movie head. Loved tv, lost, breaking bad, game of thrones etc. now I really only watch UA-cam.
I saw Egyptian stuff when I’d close my eyes at times, very extremely bizarre weird fked up Egypt. Made no sense to me at all. I heard the UA-camr sacred serpent talk about seeing Egyptian stuff in his severe withdrawal. It’s a wild ride and I need to make more videos on DT’s
2 Words: HELL NO
1 word: agreed.
Lol
Your alcoholism is 10/10 you absolutely can’t drink again bro. It might sound crappy but it’s actually a blessing if you really think about it
100% facts man
Went auto pilot on Kansas City freeway one day..ohh my gosh... totally passed out....thank the Lord Jesus Christ 🙏 i didn't die....or kill someone....ahhhh man
The lord had your back man. 🙏
As they say, you can’t unpicked a pickle. Asking if I can drink normally is like someone with a peanut allergy asking if they can keep eating PBJs. 💙
Absolutely my friend.
Got jumped by 3 dudes..got my ass kicked..too drunk to even defend myself..in Lawrence KS..785...nose broke.....dont drink alcohol!!
Alcoholism makes all worse man I swear.
Charlie Sheen’s had a nice recovery
Yes!!
NO absolutely Can NoT drink just 1 or 2.
Once you pop, you can't stop! It's ok, cuz it's not worth it one bit. Drinking is not cool! My daughter passed away at 38 y/o because of alcohol 😢
I agree Laura, once it’s on… it’s on.
Also I’m so sorry about your daughter 😪😔the reality of this horrible disease, sometimes it takes us. Again Im truly sorry. 🙏
No once a alcoholic always a alcoholic, you will just start where you stopped and go downhill quicker
Unfortunately I think you’re right….
Drove drunk constantly..like 1000s of times.. literally...not cool .gun in car..on.probation .. don't drink!!!
I will say, Smeagol always gets screwed over when he's trying to do the right things 😅. Maybe that's a reflection upon addiction, also. Maybe some people feel as if they may as well go for the ring, regardless of how it's horrible, because doing good may be getting them nowhere 🤷. Just a thought.
I'm here as someone who is able to drink, controllaby, when at one point I wasn't able to. I just basically limit the amount and times. I give myself a preset number of beers and it's up to me how to "spend" them. If I take it over the limit one night, I'm screwing myself over another night. And I don't have the mindset I can just go get more. But this takes a lot of willpower.
Also, LOVE disc golf as a sober activity! It's so fun (for me)! I'm hard into it and have long distance drivers, medium range discs, and "putters." It's great physical activity and hand-eye coordination building, using slant, slope, wind, tactics, & factoring all the variables. It's very rewarding when you improve, also. I've even competed in competitions and wow, talk about a clean adrenaline rush! You're so right about occupying oneself. You won't even hear the beer goblins chatter, you're full-on into your gameplay.
PS: I'm interested in what your brother has to say about having a meth addiction. Meth and alcohol are a complementing combo, at least for me. It's like how ranch & hot wings are for the eaters out there. 😂
That is pretty deep brother, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again I need to make a gollum addiction video. I would love doing it and I’m sure y’all would love it as well 😂🙏, I always liked the character of gollum and felt bad for him. Again maybe that’s cuz I’m an addict who knows, at the time when I was younger I wasn’t but I always rooted for gollum and Sméagol lol.
Disc golf is dope dude, me and my one brother went out and disc golfed it was cool. I enjoy just exploring in nature in general.
And yes I’m excited for you guys to see the video with my brother, it is going to be interesting haha. Be easy my friend
I don't know you, brother, but you seem young. Seek help, I've been there and still struggle myself. It's not worth it! Head my words, please 🙏
Hey brother 👋🙏thank you man, I’m trying my best but it’s extremely tough. I’m currently in an outpatient program so that’s been really good but still it’s rough.
Sober life is always better yet we always go back, that’s why we gotta take it one day at a time. God bless
Bob Marley, I don't wanna wait in vein ,,, ohh I ohhhi 😭😭 bob Marley forever , fuck alcohol 😭😭
Agreed luke, F booze
I'm 8 months sober. Almost a year! gonna celebrate with a drink! NAH JK! haha It's a milestone I'll be happy to achieve.
That’s absolutely beautiful my friend, congratulations. I’m proud of you and slightly jealous ;) 😂, keep up the amazing work bro. Incredible
@@Slayer-7373 Thanks man. You can get there too! 🙏
@@DATONEGAMER25 🙏 I will, with y’all’s help. God bless man
No you can't drink ever again ,the sooner you life your life with this knowledge and adjust your life accordingly the better.
If you dont , later down the line your liver will start to pack up you will get portal vien hypertension, varices in your chest,bleeding from yor bum, acities, cirrhosis and so on ,its a horrible way to die,for gods sake get a grip now! whilst your young.
I was like you and was 58 before i eventually saw sense and it has left me with a damaged body i am 69 now and have all the above , but I'm glad to be sober after an awful 2years in hospital .
I wouldnt consider EVER touching that crap again and I'm ashamed of myself for being weak in the past .
Im ok now and life is much better having decided to sort myself out permanently, which i achieved by myself .
I wish you well and sincerely hope you can change your outlook on life.
I need to listen to this comment, this is straight truth. 🙏🙏god bless you man I’m sorry.
Also thank you my friend, I wish you well too.
Problem drinkers, maybe. Alcoholics, definitely not. Alcoholism permanently alters your brain. It will never again be capable of processing alcohol on the "normal setting".
I appreciate that you put "real alcoholics" in the title, because so many people muddy up the conversation by conflating problem drinkers with alcoholics. They are not the same. One is an acorn, and the other is an oak tree.
Enjoy that beautiful state of yours, Slayer.
Yes exactly, I said “real” on purpose because it does happen on the time. People get mad and think you’re talking about them and all they do is have 2 beers a night. Yes you still have a problem like you said “problem drinker” but it’s nothing like real alcoholism. It’s next level stuff.
I appreciate your comment man and yes Colorado is indeed beautiful 🙏🙏 god bless.
We talking thousands!! Like 60gz easy!!
You will find something more signif than booze Slayer. You are young. We've all had Effed up traumas in our life. Yea so? Get your butt to college bec I see wonderful things for you. Yea it's expensive. Yea we call that flirting with relapse. It must be avoided. Thoughts are not all that meaningful in the grand scheme of things .. they're concepts. That's not the real reality. Stay present. There is only this breath. The past is a corpse. The future is pure imagination. Great vid as always.
Hey Judith thank you my friend. I appreciate comments like these, they give me hope. It’s a real struggle 🤦♂️
God bless you
No. Period.
Don’t let ANYONE tell u differently.
Agreed!! 💯
Don't drink!! 🍷... nope!!
Not worth it bro, you’re 100% right.
Found our I have fatty liver and I'm still drinking
This is actually a pretty common theme, I understand brother why you are but I hope you find some help man. You could really reverse some damage and stop further damage but i completely understand it’s easier said than done.
Hardest thing I’ve had to do which is insane because I’ve seen some crazy sh*t. Anyways god bless man 🙏
Genetic predisposition. I got it, some are worse than others.
Absolutely brother, this stuff is in our blood. It’s pretty crazy when you sit back and think about it like I wonder how many past generation alcoholics were in my family. I know of plenty as of now but the ones from 100-200-300 years ago. Maybe one day we will know haha. God bless man
@@Slayer-7373 It's pretty interesting really. Some Nordics have a natural tolerance to alcohol, were all different. Thanks buddy, keep up the good work man!!
Please get in touch with me Slayer. I want to help you.. Debbie 🙏❤
@@debbieporter6581 hey Debbie 🖤
Please email me slayer
Just wish this nightmare to end. The spiders are crawling in my throat , the fear is flowing through my body, everything is pain now , no detox , cold turkey , if I survive I'll post a video on here , fuck alcohol , the heart palpitations and the dry heaving are somthing out of this world , slayer don't drink bro please don't ever ever drink , I have insects crawling on me 😮😮 , scary ahir , fear at it's worst
Luke how are you doing my friend?? I’m worried about you
Getting through it one hour at a time 😭😭 , sorry bro , my heads just screwed
Were you drunk in this video than bro?
I was sober for this video brother, drank the next day though or that night, can’t remember 😔😪
I ended up throwing away that nike hat brother!!!
@@Slayer-7373 right on. It’s a battle bro let’s keep fighting and I’ll keep supporting your channel any way I can as it supports me tremendously. God bless you man don’t give up. I can relate so much to the fact that every relapse is worse and winds me up in the hospital which is where I am as I type this due to another horrible relapse. Tty soon bro
@@chrisgmusic4God get well soon brother, we are in this together. You got this man, we got this. God Bless you 🙏
Don't drink!!
100% bro it’s just not worth it, trust me I won’t! I hope you’re doing well yourself brother. God bless 🙏
Tom Petty..free failing
Pretty accurate song to when I’m binging.
Don't drink alcohol!! And its the 785