Catching a Narcissist in a Lie! (What happens?)
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- Опубліковано 19 чер 2024
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What happens when you catch a narcissist lying?
Are you wondering if that narcissist in your life is a pathological liar? Are you wondering what might happen if you decide to confront the narcissist with the truth about their lying and manipulation? Watch this video to find out what will happen if you catch a narcissist in a lie and decide to call them out.
🎓What you’ll learn in the webinar:
The 3 empowering secrets you need to take back control when communicating with narcissists.
How to develop a winning, foolproof strategy to drive the outcome you want out of negotiations with narcissists.
How to be more powerful, persuasive and confident when negotiating with narcs.
What to say in negotiation and how to say it so that you can beat narcs at their own game!
How to anticipate what the narcissist will do and be two steps ahead of them at all times.
About Rebecca Zung:
✅Rebecca Zung is one of the Top 1% of attorneys in the nation, having been recognized by U.S. News & World Report as a “Best Lawyer in America”, as “Legal Elite” by Trend Magazine, and recognized by her peers and the judiciary as AV(c), preeminent rated in family law, the highest possible rating for an attorney by Martindale Hubbell.
✅But her journey wasn’t always easy. She got married at 19, had 3 children and divorced at the age of 23. She was a divorced single mom when she decided to go back to law school. She went from being a single mom, college dropout, to becoming one the most powerful lawyers in the country at the helm of a multi-million dollar practice. She is now committed to sharing her secrets and empowering others to live their lives at their optimum level of success, professionally and personally.
✅She is the author of the bestselling books, Negotiate Like You M.A.T.T.E.R.: The Sure Fire Method to Step Up and Win and Breaking Free: A Step-by-Step Divorce Guide for Achieving Emotional, Physical, and Spiritual Freedom, and is a sought after major media contributor.
✅She has been featured in Extra, Forbes, Huffington Post, Newsweek, Time, Dr. Drew, NPR Talk Radio, Good Day New York and CBS Los Angeles among others. She is the host of the popular show Negotiate Your Best Life™ which is available on UA-cam and as a Top Podcast. She is also a frequent keynote speaker.
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Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions are for informational purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal advice. You should contact an attorney in your state to obtain legal advice with respect to any particular issue or problem. - Навчання та стиль
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I will be there live to answer all your questions! Can't wait to meet you there!
Yeah true that
@@rainaernst1701 when your smiling comment goes viral trust no one
I can't understand why they lie soo much??
6:11 Best way to get over this person is to play back this segment
They deny get angry then leave. Then begin the silent treatment
Text book. That never happened we are just mates. I saw you doing it are you saying my eyes lie. Yep then the I'm outta here ur paranoid we're just mates then the silent treatment. Mental
Yep ...even though i want to blast him ...guess i have ti keep quiet till i make my escape ....
@@NewNew44519 thanks i appreciate your support ❤
so true
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When you catch a narcissist in a lie and they know you've caught them, there's no way to deny it, you've got the proof, they just change their story again and tell another lie.
Yes, my ex narc got caught in a lie about his first name, he created another lie saying its his middle name when its not. Omg lying about something so simple
No responsible what so ever.
My ex was on the witness box in a court of law while being cross examined by lawyers. If there is ever a situation where you don't want to lie it's in court under cross examination because lawyers are professionals at picking apart lies. That's exactly what happened to my ex. She tried to lie her way around their questions but she just couldn't. It was gold.
Exactly. Couldn't understand why a previous Landlord kept saying "Record him!". Gaslighting, deflecting, DARVA. obvious now. I am woke - Day 6 No Contact.
@@stevo54838 Wish I'd seen that. It's like winning a lottery to see a narc caught with no escape.
Here’s the kicker, my narc does apologize occasionally but I know it’s a lie, insincere & his way of deflecting & trying to get me to forgive him.
Right
Mine too. Its just guilt relieving for himself. Usually some kind of gift with it too.
100% insincere. Because when you dictate your boundaries and stipulate your conditions for accepting their apology and request for forgiveness, that’s when their mask falls off in a rage and the 4 D’s rear their ugly faces.
Mine is : " I'm so sorry for everything"
Also mine : " I've never done anything wrong to be sorry for. My behavior is perfect. You are the one that needs therapy and has mental issues "
Soooo true... Never take responsibility for their actions.
Yeah exactly and they blame you for everything
How do you know when a narcissist is lying?? Thier lips are moving!
😁😂🤣😅😄😃😀😆😂😃😂🤣😂🤣🤣
My X would always say that and he was Pathological liar Salesman of course
I like this. It's good to treat them as a joke because that's all they are!
Bingo!!!
😅😂🤣 That’s what I thought so, too!
To catch a narcissist in a lie, just ask them a question, the answer will always be a lie.
My would answer any questions that they feel like not answering my questions. By not answering my questions tells me that they are lying if they refuse to show you the proof or answer questions. Every other word was a lie out of her.
Would you lie to save your life,fool🆘
I wanna puke when I'm taking with these people 🤢
Pretty much! Liar liar pants on 🔥 I wish
😂😂💯
True that! Just caught my narc in a lie. Deny, deflect, devalue, dismiss. Saw it all. It became a word salad and it was hard not to laugh but I had to contain myself.
I hear that. I have wanted to laugh so many times. I think one day soon I will!
True that. You explain it perfectly. The only thing I would add, and not all narcisissts will do this. I find from my 43 years exposed to an environment around malignant narcissists that,if called out on one of their lies, you can expect instant rage.
My husband would never admit to a lie even if he was caught
Doesn't that make you hate him,fool☮️
YUP!!!!!!!!!
My wife will never admit it even when proven. It's never her fault
Same
Got my wife on video sneaking some guy out at 716 am. She's filed for divorce. Lol.
I got to the point where I told her that I would record every conversation that we have. She would deny that we had conversations.
🏃💨💨💨💨
Omg yess
Classic move
Bro...I said the same thing. And I did record some of our conversations
Dear lord I had to do the same to my last narc so he decided to start texting me instead w threats of violence & projection. I replied w the comment, “Thanks for the screen shots; I’m sure the lovely ladies at the Harris County Domestic Violence Department will just LOVE seeing these!!!”. Never heard from his sorry azz again! 🤣
I knew a pathological liar/narcissist. His excuse was always that he had a bad memory. Thus, he “didn't remember” any promises he'd ever make, even when people would remind him regularly. Blaming his memory allowed him to brush off the consequences of breaking promises like, “Get over it, I forgot.” However, he would challenge everyone’s recollection of things when it came down to him wanting to be correct. On this account, he would play the victim by proclaiming that “everyone is trying to act better than me and think they are always right because they think they have a better memory” and calling people arrogant.
They are good at answering questions with a question!
Wow!Jonathan you made my day thanx bro.
@@janekagure8807 😎
Yes, they are very adept at that one trait/ tactic
Very accurate
Facts 👌🏽💯It
The pathological lying, yes! It’s terrible. 👏💕
You forgot to add rage into the list “when u catch them in a lie”
Yes I was looking for the "over-rage" when confronted. I'm glad I saw someone else identifies with that.
The rage is horrifying... I used to be terrified. My heart raced and I saw my life ending it was so bad. I'd run 🏃♂️ Finally I accepted that if he ended my life, so be it, I'd be in a better place. Once I did that, my fear reduced by 80% and I don't placate him anymore. Still working on getting him out of my home, can't stand him. But his child depends on my love and understanding (when they visit biweekly) so I'm manipulating him to move on. Find an ideal place, far enough away, and even pay a deposit. Can't wait !!!
mj 2017 I will not entertain rage again if it happens. I’m out
Wow this is so true. If he ever got caught he didnt seem sorry or apologetic. Even after being told he was having an affair, instead he got inraged and it was my fault. Never truly sincere until a few days after the offense.
Oh yes, the RAGE! And that comes with just a single question that you asked in a nice manner.
I’m glad you mentioned “dismiss.” Because… if my ex narcissist said something rude and made me cry, it would linger in my mind, and I would wanna talk about why he said that but he would always say “I don’t linger on stuff. I move on like it didn’t happen.”
Mine always says, "Stop living in the past." And yet...ANY sort of perceived slight on his end, and I hear about it for decades.
Sounds sooooo familiar!
I literally confronted him on something, his answer did not make sense, and then he got angry and change the subject and started blaming me for something off topic. Then he said I am tired of your Sh-t.omg it’s a roller coaster.
Say that again.
The fact that they lie when there is irrefutable evidence to the contrary is proof that they have departed from reality and they are abusive to boot. True that!
Yeah it’s crazy I had my ex on video visiting the girl that I caught him cheating on me with previously AND THEN BLAMED IT ON ME😂 these people are evil monsters! No contact is the best way to go.
I didn't find out that he was a pathological liar until after I discarded him. Once I found out I was so shocked by the ease that he would lie to me. It wasn't until then that I realized that he had been doing that for our entire relationship and I had no idea.
Thank god u left they are the best actors Ever 😎
But what does it say about you,fool❌
Same here dear i wasfooled by a narcissist for 15 years n after leaving him i understood realsied and acknowledged myslf dat he is a typical narc . Am divorcing him
After you “discarded”?
Hmm…
Than you find out that everything was a damn lie cuts like a knife. I'm over it and him I just need to get my little home fixed so it's livable for the summer because I have no money to fix it right away. But I still stay their even though my roof leaks and the floor is going through. I'm painting the inside for now. Just me and my dog daisy. She's going on 12 in December. At least it's quiet. Lol
They get super angry and use all of the manipulative tools in their kit to excuse themselves and confuse/crush you
They lie because their life is a lie.
They always say Prove it! Prove It! Prove it! You cant prove it!!!! SMH!
Hahaha! So true! I told my narc that he was a narc and he said that it wasn’t true and I have not proved it to him over that past year or so since I first pointed it out to him. What?! What is there to prove? I have 17 books on narcs that completely describe him and his behaviour and what he put me through. “If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.” Not probably, definitely.
They will never change so the best thing to do is to move on, which I did. Only kicking myself for not walking away two weeks in when I spotted the first red flags. I have learnt my lesson though and will never make the same mistake again.
Yes. Yes. Yes. I dont believe these people are normal but demonic. They can profess God but it is fake just like them. They are so miserable and hate to see you happy.
100% accurate!!
Wow. I'm only learning about all of this and I am literally in shock at how many correlations I'm seeing.
@@katalinmcewan I feel you
Anyone else feel like frightening to be in another relationship??
My narcissistic ex discarded me recently because I called him out on basically every lie he's ever told me. He's never apologized or had a self reflecting moment the entire time.
They know they're lying but don't care! It's mind-blowing
To find out that a narcissist is cheating is not very difficult. They will find reasons to disappear, their phones will be put under a hundred passwords or a fingerprint password, they will rush out of the room to answer a phone call, their appearance will change like new haircut, new clothes etc. You will notice some new words or phrases they started to use commonly, they will find new hobbies that barely suit their lifestyle, their general behavior will change (they are mirroring their new partner). Basically, a narcissist will subconsiously give you a hell lot of hints, also your gut feeling is surely gonna suspect some shady stuff going on. Trust it no matter what a narcissist tells you. However, it might be extremely hard to CATCH a narcissist cheating. They will deny everything by all means, it is impossible to make them confess. Even if you catch your narc with another person in your own bed, prepare to hear 1000 and 1 more explanation of what REALLY happened. They are really good at hiding things and lying to people’s faces so you might never actually get them exposed, but you will surely know that sh*t is happening. You can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at Metaspyhub@gmail. com, where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you.
Sounds like a crime eh?
I caught my husband in a lie and his response was “What difference does it make”?
Why are you always bringing up the past? Forget the past, what difference does it make. When the narcissist would answer that way it would put my teeth on edge. It makes all the difference in how miserable and helpless I feel in this relationship.
Accidently touched report button when viewing
Sound like Hillary’s response to Benghazi 😄
I’ve heard that one too. It means it doesn’t matter to THEM. You don’t matter to THEM.
Same answer as mine
Narcissistic rage. However, it's twice as bad if they are taking steroids: Narcissistic rage + Roid rage = an adult acting like a child lashing out.
Are you talking about my children’s father?!!
Then they lie about taking steroids 🤣🤣🤣 #TheHulk
My dad tried to kill me the other day because he was on steroids
He hates me cuz I stood up to him
And drugs and alcohol. Especially spirits. Meth is probably Roids close cousin. Dangerous 3 year old tantrums and someone always gets hurt.
Since I was forced to sober up, I've been catching them left and right. My memory is improving the way it was before I self medicated.
My grandma told me this my whole life before she passed away. Never be somewhere you hate because you can’t afford to be somewhere you love…..
True that! My ex was having an affair with a co-worker and he denied it. Then I found out that he had been going to her house every day before work! He said he was going to work early but then I saw evidence from his phone’s Google timeline report that he was going to her house for an hour every day before he went to work. That was the last straw and I went and divorced him. Everything Rebecca said in this video is true! I never even knew what narcissism was until the past 6 months. These videos are really helpful. When I left I told him I would be dust to him. He said he thought we would still be friends and the 3 of us (me, him, and his girlfriend) could meet out for beer and wings “if you could just get over it.” Just 1 example of the many ridiculous things he told me! 33 years together and this is how it ended! I’ve gone No Contact and it has helped me immensely! It required a lot of self-discipline in the beginning but it gets easier every day! I watch these videos and they are a big comfort. Thank you, Rebecca!
Yeah this girl I just cut off was exactly like that she has kids with like 3 diff dad's they all have gfs and she still tries to hangout with them even with the gfs, thats why I couldn't date this chick she couldn't let go of her ex's I wasted a yr my life away on her.
Dude my ex cheated on me with this girl who was disgusting btw swore he wasn’t seeing her even talked mad crap about her someone called me because he was visiting her at her work with another girl I can’t stand! He even helped her get a job by his house 😂 AND hung out with her on his day off instead of seeing me he’s on video still denied it and blamed me…. These people are evil!
Exactly what my husband was doing, going to work "early" and Saturday, NOT! He was going to the secretaries house. Evil 😈 bastards
Constant Lying gaslighting denial blameshifting manipulating berating devaluation deflection Dismissal and of course the constant verbal and physical rage abuse is just the start of describing my malignant npd alcoholic ex husband
He and my mother in law should get together. She is always the victim and dismisses everything .
Me too
omg he has a twin!!
exactly!!
The worst here is the yelling, banging things, breaking things, name calling, foul mouth and constant put downs.
I hear you !! ♡
And mine... :(
I feel like they actually sometimes do come clean and “apologize” for the things they lied about (their feelings for you for example) just to see your pain and feed of of that.
I had my ex wife come clean about things she lied about in the middle of sex! Who does that??
@@chillz44divorcingyoustalke93 mine too! Only place they can talk
True that!!! 8 years pathological lying husband... 2 weeks ago he told me I never have supported him and told me he wanted a divorce, I let him walk out and changed the locks! Abused NOMORE!
“You’re the problem”. Oh yes my narc sister loves this one.
Or when you catch them and you say “what’s your problem” and they say you 😅
So true! Absolutely, deny, deflect, devalue, dismiss... Even in that order!
Thought I was crazy! Thanks for clearing that up for me! A liar, (insults your intelligence), about anything, is more evil that honest people need to deal with.
True that!!!
He screams at me backs me into corners and lies more talks over me fakes throw things at me to scare me...your absoulty right
True that...definite consistent pattern with my ex! Never their fault, cant take responsibility!
Exactly! That's my husband, quick to amend someone else like (ME).
And, they NEVER will!
He lies about stupid stuff. Just yesterday he took candy from my snack drawer and lied about it. My son even caught him red handed. And he still told me “ what the hell is wrong with you ? “ I dint take crap from you”!
OMG. I use to hear that statement too. What the hell is wrong with you you.. That is blame shifting. You really need to think about getting out of this relationship. He will never change. You have the right to be happy. Life is short. You will find someone new and you will be happy. Don't waste anymore time.
That is creepy and scary better watch out...In fact I'd be scared to leave my drink alone in the same room as this person...you just never know...the simple insignificant lies are a sign of way bigger issues....good luck
Girl!!! My therapist recommended me watching these podcasts and real talk this is exactly what I’ve been in for 21/2 yrs!! Dang🤯 TY!!
I’ve been dealing with it for 4 years 😭 I’ve only have to wait 2 more weeks til I move back to my parents house. I gotta get out!
True that.
I've found that the narc will give you a hint that they are about to lie.
I have to stop ignoring my gut and when I feel I am chasing my tail the very FIRST time. It's amazing how inconsistent a narc can be.
True
I was gaslighted all the time he tried to make out it was all in my head
Had the same thing she said us being together was all I'm my head to one of the other people she was supposed to be with her when I found out the truth and found out she has been doing this to others
catching a narcissist in a lie is not hard...just catch them whenever they're breathing, they'll almost always inevitably try to squeeze a breath in on you here and there between the lies.
🤣🤣🤣
Everything you said were all true; I was married to one. It's unfortunate that it took me fifty years to realize I've been duped all those years!
I am so sorry....feeling duped 8s such a horrible feeling. I hope all is going well for you. Just remember it isnt your fault!
ALL ON POINT!!!!! Dealing with this narc had put me in a very dark place depression hopelessness etc... no one understood me and think I was the crazy one... to the point I was beginning to feel that way, I could really understand why a person feel the need to end their life because of the trauma these asses do to a Empath but since I found you Rebecca I feel more IN POWER then ever! I have documented for years but now I know how to successfully apply to win. Thank you
TRUE THAT!!!! My experience has been when I didn’t back down/held my boundaries for the truth/reality .. the narcissist raged and tantrum
Sandra Enright when stood your ground did he/she scream at the top of there voice and hung up on you? That's what I experienced all the time. I finally left him, was so tired of being consumed by the negativity.
Careful can poison and other ways assualt you and tell people it was accident.
@@elizabethandiosa4579 true that
I haven't never thought I would meet someone so evil and hateful as a narcissist. This woman sleep with so many people I can't even keep track of it. I never thought these kind of people existed
From my experience it starts with an OTT rage. Then you’re accused of paranoia. Then the silent moody treatment and finally they act like nothing happened.
Mine would point out things that normally if I found I’d be suspicious. A woman he was cheating with accidentally left her lip gloss in his vehicle. But instead of just tossing it, he brought it in the house and said “Did you leave this in my car? I have no idea where this came from.” And I knew damn well it wasn’t my cheap ass Walgreens lip gloss. He did it all the time and when I finally questioned him, he said “Babe, if I were cheating on you, would I go out of my way to point out the evidence?!?!”... He did and he was.
Yes. I have gone through this especially deflection when I found out he told someone something personal that I asked him to keep secret. When I called him out on it, instead of saying he was sorry he said "What about what you did". He then started calling me out on something that had nothing to do with the issue at hand.
Deflect redirect 🗣
Exactly
Never, ever... tell a narcissist a secret... they will use it against you, in the near future... They like to spread gossip too. They cut people down, in order to elevate themselves!
@@paulao7022 your absolutely right
It’s called deflection!
I remember when I discovered the "first" lie - and then all of the other lies that came out after - eventually leading me to the conclusion that the "whole relationship" was a lie. I would actually flash back to earlier conversations when he lied straight to my face - which was pretty devastating at the time. At least I was able to walk away and it was actually a good thing. Now I am thankful that I went no contact - because it left an open space in my life for someone much better.
My attorney put my mother in her place today. She also tried to deny it and he told her he was looking right at it so she left! He did a great job today calling her out! She didn't know what to say lol
My experience is that as soon as he says he is sorry, I must move on one time. If I don't he gets angry and then verbally abuse me.
Caught in a lie and he would lie and lie again, or just avoid it! Sometimes he would then go into a narcistic rage! Eyes were like the devil's 👹 scary! x
That's intimidation. Be careful sweetie. Narcissist can be violent.
I feel sorry for ward🆘
" Eyes were like the devil". Spot on. Dark, flat, just black. And the smoldering rage. When cornered, when exposed, the wounded narcissist shape-shifts into a demon.
My ex would go into this demonic voice! Weird!
yes my husband the same way looks like the devil.
How do you catch a narcissist in a lie? Just wait for the next sentence to be uttered from their lips.
Lies just spue out of their mouth, and the temper flares.
So true ! It must be exhausting to wake up everyday doing this This lady is awesome
True that!
Mine would always come up with amazing explanations when I caught him in a lie. It was very imaginative, every time, almost believable. 😂 He even lied when there was really no need to and would have been much easier if he just told me the truth.
Yesss they will tell u some horrible childhood abuse probably for fake pity ( they should take to the grave ) but will lie about the weather 😳
The time. 😁 I learned early on to never ask what time it was. And stupid, pointless lies are always "just jokes"
@@bcoyblevins “I have to give you a hard time”
True That! He lies every day to my face.
True that.
They are definitely demonic
True that!
“I guess we just remember it differently”. How cute. I love producing proof.
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My boss is a pathological revisionist who prefers to keep things verbal for "clarification", and practices gaslighting in the end. Does it matter if I write things down verbatim? No. Would it matter if I get a bodycam and record everything? No. I need to get a different job.
It sucks because you know they are lying but my bf who I know is a narcissist, he's just so adamant that he's telling the truth but it's so hard to believe him. Then I'm adamant he's lying & he gets enraged cause he says he is telling the truth. It's just so hard, you end up not knowing what to believe.
Whenever his mouth is moving
Sugar Free I hear you 🤣🤣
Narcissists also conveniently experience health problems(munchausen syndrome) when they're caught in a lie, or exposed for the garbage they've done. What swiftly follows is they don't want to talk about it because it's hurting their heart, or it's effecting their breathing, or they're in pain yet never could it be their own obesity (that's if the pain is existent at all, which it more than likely isn't). They also so constantly swear up and down that you're living in the past when the past action they've done is still in the present. They'll talk about you in a text with a family member at you're expense, and when you see it their response is "Oh you weren't meant to see that anyways". They'll know the truth, but still uphold the lie yet blame it on their family, the same family they swear up and down that's holding them back.
Sir that is absolutely true
Always sick > unavailable > can’t get to it > I tried > you don’t trust
They are a total 100% FAILURE at everything
Well except lying and talking nonsense they’re professionals at that 😮
@@Kingdom_of_God777 absolutely!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The most hurtful person in my life right now is my husband ... I do not even recognize him!!! My eyes are open to what my heart had been feeling!
They'll lie when they don't have too!!
Even when shown hard evidence, they still lie!
I'm not convinced that its from childhood trauma. Many have experienced childhood traumas yet many don't become pathological liars, even when they don't have too.
True that. Recently, he even says (when confronted with things he's said). "You really shouldn't take what I'm saying seriously." lol Wow. He's done it twice in the past week.
I was married to the love of my life for 20 years. He was also a compulsive liar and cheater. I finally crawled away and created a new happy life on my own. I wrote a book about it anonymously to heal and pay it forward.
*Quiet Little Mouse: How My Lying Cheating Huband Awakened My Inner Warrior by Mali Ponday* I'm not looking for fame or riches. Peace and love❤️
True that. I have a narcissist who is simply unable to tell the truth and will lie about things that don't even matter
True dat!! I caught my mother in a lie and I’m sure she’ll try to spin it around and act like she won’t remember revealing the truth or doing whatever she wants to try to take back what she said 💀💀
I experience those 4 d's.
It is beyond annoying and draining. I got rid of the certified narcissist. Thank God.
The most common response I got during the last few years of my marriage to a narc when I called him out on his lies was that he wouldn't lie if I didn't get mad about things. Clearly I was not supposed acknowledge or be upset over the wrong, immoral, unethical and illegal things he did because that's what made him lie.🤔
My narcissist lied about applying for a passport. I asked for proof by asking for the receipt, or the money order stub that he used to pay for it, or the bank statement showing that he did it. His excuses were “Don’t you remember? I paid cash, I even told you.” (Gaslighting, we never had that conversation, and you can’t pay cash when applying for a passport) and “I shouldn’t have to show you proof. You’ve lied to me too.”
True that!!! I got this response once, “How do you know I’m lying?”
And they say “accusing” when you have proof 😂
Hi Rebecca I've caught my narc & their harem in a lie more than once .
This information reassures why I have recorded my boss these past 20 months.
I am trying a way to get out of this job, however he is also a vengeful person.
Pray for me please.
What about lie, deny, attack, abuse, shout, shout louder, then say you are the attacker, then run to your room boohooing. My mother did this my entire life and still is. I am in year 5 of caring for her and dad.
Yup....You can always tell when they are lying because they turn away as if they are busy doing something so there's no eye contact, and tell the lie. And they will lie about the most trivial things, it's crazy.
True that. I recorded a few conversations with my wife a year ago to help me determine if I was truly the problem like she was telling me or if what I was learning about via UA-cam (narcissists) was what I was dealing with. It become loud and clear. Every conversation with her was total word salad with the goal being to for me to accept the blame for everything wrong in our world. I mostly stayed quite but when she would make an example of something that really happened and I would correct her because it wasn't proving her case, first she would try to interrupt and talk all over me. If I was able to finish my correction (basically pointing out that she was lying/gaslighting), she would always say, "you're too caught up in the details". And then she would continue gaslighting me.
Yes or the cluster B type personality comes out , total entitlement.
Wow you literally described my exact experience with a ex-narcissist.
True that! They lie with such ease! And so comfortable with it! Just constant lies!!!!
When you get to the point that you are just over it all and it doesn’t matter if they get mad when you finally call them out on their lies, rages, reactions etc. this is when you are able to take back that control . Stay smart about things and take that power back . Staying strong is your weapon !!!
The temper tantrums they have. He never talked to me. He always screamed. He always was blaming me. Causing me to seem I was crazy. He's told his famy and friends I made up stuff on him. And that's so not true. He cheated all the time .But he always denied it. Said I was making stuff up. I was seeing things. Omg he actually did drive me insane. I've questioned everything now.
True that!
During gaslighting, do some narcissists actually believe the "imaginary tale" they've spun in their minds or is it safe to say they are well aware of the tactic?
Appreciate you 🙏
I think they want it to be true, but deep down they know they're full of shyte. They are completely insane. 🤣
They are definitely well aware of what they are saying and doing to others. It amuses them to know that you know and will drive yourself crazy trying to prove anything.
Absolutely
I think it depends on the person, some actually believe their bull crap
@@lpeacelovefaith9566 Good point...I have come to believe that as well.
They make plans with you, don't show up and/or do it. When you ask them about it, they go into a rage and it's YOUR FAULT..
ALWAYS!!!
Thank you for reminding me I AM NOT CRAZY!!!
I mentioned to someone that I am not jealous of rich people. The listener used to have a very important job. I said that if someone is very rich, I am happy for them, if it makes them happy. My friend responded that being happy is the most important thing. It is also a message that I often get from those who are usually the wisest - young children.
True that! My narc always says I've been good up till now🤦♀️
In process of getting away from him...step by step... It's all so creepy and disturbing and caused my health to be ruined for life. Age 62, what now? However, I will say my favorite song these days is Instant Karma by John Lennon. The words are so damn Perfect lol.
That is where I am now. After 20 years.
I might not have gotten validation for my feelings in my relationship with a narcissist, but hearing this and reading the comments is validating in itself, just knowing that I'm not alone.
Whats gets me is when i presented my gf with multiple 💯 evidenceses she was lying on an issue she invented aboutvan X fling, she paniced, deflected, denyed, gaslit, and even refused to apologize, acknowledge i was right and do what normal, loving, emathetic partners do... rather she denyed she said it, and when even turn back around and stand behind the trauma she said for over 5 years...
These coverts are creatures... its very hard to heal, and forgive someone who cares not for your feelings, and is truly not sorry... you are so spot on ...
'True That". Best lives thrive on sincerity.
I'd like to answer the question in the title before watching your undoubtedly superb response!
the answer is : DENIAL!
they will deny everything, even your own existence instead of accepting it.
Watching now, Thank you for what you do!
-one of your newest subs! (and an empath)
Edit: You had three more "D's" for me :-) I only caught one!
Thank you!!
Anytime your feeling bold to ask them a question about something that doesn't make sense, or your Narcissist Spouse confronts you about whatever b.s. it is that day, make sure you have an escape route that doesn't require you to get arms length. Countless times I've been screamed at "You don't get five minutes!" Tell them your taking 5 min and hide for 15min.
Found daring apps on his phone, Told me I did it when I was drinking. Then brought up old stuff to start a fight with me instead, then told me I’m wrong and he can’t deal with my lies and making stuff up and he had to leave. Hmm
TRUE THAT!!! This is my wife to a tee. I fortunately, we had our first child 5 months ago and she has tried her hardest to keep our son away from me, to make it look like I’m a bad father. Now she wants a divorce.
I have caught my wife in multiple lies and she almost throws a temper tantrum every time, blaming me for everything she can think of and trying to make me feel bad about her behavior that she caused.
Now she wants a divorce. She has been soooo much to deal with, it’s crazy.
If it wasn’t for me going through the court system to get 50/50 custody, (I’m sure that I can get more because she has and keeps doing weird and strange things that a new mother would not do) I most likely would never get to see my son or be apart of this life. Living with her has been a nightmare.
She said all the right things to make me believe that she would be a good mate, that why I asked her to marry me. I’m marriage, we had some issues that any normal couple would be able to work through. She fell apart and became a completely different person than who I met.
I will never trust her again, and I wonder if I’ll ever get to experience being married again because I really want marriage, and I want my son to experience family the way it’s suppose to be, and not all this confusion and madness that my wife has caused.
They love to do the big flip. Victim card.
Great video! Narcissists will lie if the truth made more sense. When they're caught they divert and deflect and move on to the next lie as if the last lie never happened. I can't believe I dealt with this for decades. Yes, this is familiar. I literally lost track of all the lying during the marriage and again through the divorce.
True dat.. the complete denial when you got them by the balls with proof!. Never admit EVER that they lie..
A narcissist is gaslighting my mother for many years now and trying to get her to believe nobody loves her and she's alone putting her down lying to her devaluing her etc it's a neighbour.
I've caught a lot of narcs in a lie and been playing along. Because they look more stupid.
My ex would start laughing when she knew I had her 100% caught in a lie.
How about just flat out making a personal attack on you? They just decide to take you down.
My ex would yawn lol
Whenever I confronted my ex about a lie he told or something he did or did not do, he always said to me "You really like holding grudges don't you?' He said that all the time I actually began to believe it.
Mine said the same thing and "we already talked about that. Let's move forward and not bring up the past." unreal!
They get mad about weird specific things but are normally calm.