Full of Regret for Screwing Up Your Relationship? Watch This. (Matthew Hussey)
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- Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
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Ever sat ruminating obsessively over something you could have or should have done differently in your relationship?
Something you said, something you did, or something you wish you’d have done more?
It’s a dreadful, sickening feeling. I know because I’ve felt it. It leads to regret, anxiety, self-loathing… not to mention a lack of appetite and insomnia. We turn over every memory, imagining where we could have been with that person had we just behaved differently.
And this feeling isn’t limited to situations that have ended. Sometimes we are still seeing someone but we have this crippling anxiety over having irreversibly damaged the relationship. We feel we’ve created a perception of ourselves in that person’s eyes that we can’t now undo.
If for any of these reasons you are currently torturing yourself, this video will be life-saving for you today. Trust me when I say it is essential watching.
In this video, I break down for you why you don’t need to be wallowing in pain, and why, despite everything that destructive voice inside is saying, you actually have reason to feel good today.
Please also share this with someone you know who may be beating herself up right now. Life’s too short for any of us to suffer needlessly.
I’m with you, friend. You’re loved.
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The ‘regretting how you behaved in a situation’ really hit hart, it made me tear up. Time to stop blaming ourselves, thank you Matthew.
Oh yeah, I am overthinking situations almost a year and regretting. Almost to a level like "if I ate bread instead of cornflakes on that day, maybe I behaved different and the breakup never happened. On the other side I didnt know that these small actions lead to that consequence :(
@@Flowmotion-Parkour same, i feel that exact way
When I heard him talk about maybe that was the best we could of done at that point in time and our best fell short that made me burst in tears bc I always do that and blame myself in fact I did so last night ans couldn’t sleep when I got broken up with. I was upset at my gf telling me she’d rather see me 2 days after I got home this week after being a month away trucking when just a couple hours ago she was telling me how much she wanted to see me. I blamed myself and kept making all kinds of scenarios that would of kept her from breaking up with me and fixing my tone of voice.
@@n1ghtscxr i have a similar incident
All chicks ever do is avoid 'feeling' the the blame. Actually become a better person, actually treat men like human beings. Do that ffs and you wont have to worry about 'feeling bad'
"The right relationship isn't brittle" dude you have no ideia how much peace this phrase brought. Thank you so much, +1 follower
I did screw it up. Our seven-year relationship ended two months ago because of me. My ex broke it off because he felt I was cold and detached (and yes, he was right), and he felt under-appreciated. It was all my fault. I've been beating myself up these past months and wished I could've done better for him. He didn't deserve any of that. He has always been kind, understanding, and loyal towards me. But he realized that his needs weren't met and though he didn't communicate properly, I still know that it was all my fault. I led the downfall.
I was going through so much at that time we were together and the separation needed to happen for me to understand myself better, and to realize what "love" means because I lost my understanding of the concept for so many years. I had to experience loss and grief to understand how to "love" and appreciate the good things.
I'm still grieving the loss. But now I am on the road to self-forgiveness. Thank you, Matthew.
2024 UPDATE: I received numerous comments/messages about how I'm doing now. It's been two years since I posted this comment. I am now happy and fulfilled with my life. I realised that the break-up was necessary for me to learn and mature. I no longer pine for my ex and have fully processed and healed. He did email me in May this year saying that he still loved me and felt sorry for what he did (which he failed to tell me when he broke up with me). I wasn't sure about the main intention of his email (whether it was manipulation or regret, I have no idea), but I am so glad I have fully moved on since mid-2023; otherwise, his email would have disrupted my peace. I'm thankful to my ex for leaving or else I wouldn't have met my new partner, whom I love and adore dearly. I will take the lessons I learned from that past relationship and apply them to this new one.
To everyone going through a break-up, don't beat yourself up. Don't ever think all of it was your fault. A relationship is two-way. If it didn't work out, both parties should be accountable. Go through the pain, learn, and move forward. Something better is coming your way. Just like what happened to me.
Did you guys ever reconsider the relationship?
@@parisam7659 Hi, I fought for him, he did a bit of thinking to reconsider but he ended things.
I relate with everything you said to a tee! It saddens me that your update isn’t that you’re both together because it gives me the feeling my ex will decide to stay away as well. Learn and do better next time!
Only half of it si your fault, if he didn't comunícate his needs is entirely his.
@@cabrondemente1 thank you so much for saying this.
I truly believe we meet people for a reason. So don't regret any relationship because there is always growth to take from it, or good memories, or identity formation that couldn't have happened without said relationship. None of my relationships have worked out so far, but I'm still eternally grateful that I was apart of each one of them because I wouldn't be who I am today without it, and they wouldn't be either. No one can ever take away what YOU take away from a relationship.
We learnt by any kind of experience ! My mate said” why are u looking at break up like a lesson again?” Cos I can drain little things from it and feel grateful and progressing
Dear Alex
I do love people like u, the eternal optimist.. it would be lovely to think so....
Yes we meet them for a reason! Every person we attract into our lives to learn us something about ourselves ✅❤️
I disagree I wasted 6 years of relationships when I could of invested in work,finance health, my health and other things that would of reciprocated in a positive way.
We also meet lots of people who never even leave an impression. I guess some people matter and there's a reason for that. But is everything that happens to us meant to happen by some higher force? No way. Murder and rape happens, and that is not for the good of all or whatever "for a reason " means. Some people are simply shit people and you shouldn't have met them.
I’ve destroyed myself I’ve been thru so much now that I’ve finally seen a person that truly was meant for me
I’ve found a way to sabotage this
Update : We’re still together it’s not easy but I’m better and I love her so damn much
After my 5 year relationship with my first and only love ended, the most important thing I realized is that I didn't love myself as much as I loved her which is why the regrets take over my mind.
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Just watched this after a breakup a few days ago and I felt like I didn’t put enough effort into my past relationship, I’ve just burst out into tears after watching this ❤️❤️
How are you? I feel the same way with mine.
Does it get easier? Did you ever just realize you tried your best and unfortunately it didn’t work out?
@@joeshlong9614I feel this shame and regret. I was with my partner for 4.5 years. We were engaged for the last 6 months. Financial pressure when saving for the big day hurt us. My invulnerability hurt us. My lack of compromise hurt us. I put so much pressure on us. I was living 4+years down the line and not being present and appreciating what I had. We’ve been split for about a month and it still hurts. Everyday I’m checking my phone to see if she’s messaged me. Maybe she’s thinking of me. In future- I will compromise even if it makes me uncomfortable. I think life’s about compromise. I know she’s the one I want to be with until the end, back then I was too naive to see it! One day I hope she gives me a chance again 👏🏻
I feel like you, but we can grow, move forward and make better choices in the future. We aren't going to repeat these behaviors. ..we know what consequences they bring.
@@jonasdamico720 it’s a big thing. People make mistakes it’s apart of life.
Just be sure you’re having this mindset for the right person. If you saw my comment before, I was a wreck. I thought I fucked up my whole relationship.
But I found out my ex cheated on me, she came back wanting to date again and I said no.
So basically, just make sure the person you’re grieving over is worth it. In my case, I thought she was, but I realized the relationship ending was the best thing for me.
Things change, it’s all okay.
Iam single and I'm taking notes, next relationship gon be fire 😂
😂😂😂 it will soon feel like acting school
Lol yessss get it!!🙌🏽
Good luck brother, may you find happiness!
lmaooooo
@@nomatterwhat4661 to have principles isn't acting
I needed this so much. My brain is killing me with regret. I’m ready to let it all go.
Same. I wish you healing well
Same here and it's been almost two months for me..I just want to be able to let go and not feel so guilty and ruminate over and over about her..
@@grenolf been two years for me. It hits hardest in times of emotional crisis
Same here. We’re all going through it together. I’m confident one day I will make it out.
You and me both girl..😔
Just golden! "Relationships should not be brittle". Connections should flow easily and communication of your concerns should never be feared.
I really needed to hear this. I was in it 11-year relationship and got broken up with. I've been beating myself up about what I could have done better and differently. Hearing this has made me feel so much better. Thank you so much this was so comforting to me.
Hey! I'm in a similar situation as you now, been 8 months beating myself up about what I could have done better and differently. How are things going for you now?
I'm happy that my 5 years relationship has ended , he was a NARC and I didn't realize it until now. I'm really thankful and thankful for your videos they helped me enormously .
Congrats for getting out. Those relationships are the most difficult to leave. Sigh.
@@livingyourstory6885 true true, it was incredibly painful but I'm happy now and so relieved.
@@livingyourstory6885 im in now as we speak
“It was my best at that point of time.”
And sometimes that shatters people.
That's why these videos are so bad they stop you from learning the one thing that's important. You love that person right? Then focus on them part attention to them. If they aren't right don't over look it, if what they are doing isn't that big let it go. Above all communicate without accusing them.
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This stuck out to me too. Been wondering if we’d be together now if only I had done this or hadn’t done that. He’s with someone else now and it’s too late. But I’m wiser now and maybe I’ll get another chance to do it better with someone else. 🤞
The best you were capable of at that time.
Where you say "maybe it's the best you could do with your current wounds" I wouldn't have known I still had the wounds if I hadn't said what is said to have him disappear. And if that's the reason he was in my life, to show me those wings that I now get to heal for the next relationship, then I am grateful for him and that experience ❤️
It’s crazy how you’re actually giving an exact answer to all my questions, in this video.
Feels like you’re sitting down next to me, listening and answering to all these doubts that are blocking me from moving on a rejection after I invested so much in the relationship and I’m struggling to keep out the sense of regrets and the feeling that I didn't do enough, when I know that the problem simply wasn't me.
Thank you so much for your knowledge and you’re ability to help other sensitive people like me.
I fuekcd up... She needed me at that moment... She wanted me to do better... Care more for her, meet her needs... And try to be nice to her... But I felt a pressure cause I couldn't meet her financial needs cos she was going back to school... We said terrible things to each other... But what break me most was when she said the relationship was a bondage and that 2yrs with me is a waste, so I decided to end it so she could have her life... But I feel like I should have fought for us... I feel like I'm a coward... It's over 3months and I can't stop blaming myself 😓
You never fail. This brought me so much PEACE. Love is stronger than a horrible fight. Love isn't brittle. So much greatness in this. ❤
Love is beautiful my dear 😊
Honestly i am Living for this Matthew. I feel like you’ve become so much more sensitive and intuitive lately Matthew.
You’ve really touched my heart in this video. The way you speak really makes people feel.
Thank you so much and I hope you feel loved and safe and content in your daily life sweet Matt. :)
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No such thing as right relationship. It all matters on how much you are willing to work on it.
*Hello there, ;why don't you send a message to this great man who helped me attract my partner back after many years of separation?h
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Thanks Matthew & your team! To me, you're not just a relationship coach but a deep thinker. You care deeply and have invested so much to make this 8 minute video, something I've been thinking about for months, it's empowering to have confirmation and encouragement from you! Love as always!!!
Even though I heard this many a time from my friends and family, the way you said this, the concern, the empathy brought tears to my eyes.
I watch this whenever I feel down. Makes me have faith again. Thank you!!
Matthew, I randomly found your video and I deeply appreciate you for it.I have been dealing with a hear-breaking separation for a long time now and it had been killing me ever since. What I suffer from the most is the " what if .." thoughts which lead to endless negative scenarios that hinder the healing process and moving on. However, your words defiantly helped a bit. I for sure going to come to this video again in case I was feeling down because of the break up and needed to reminder. Thank you very much.
"The right relationship isn't brittle". - Matthew Hussey. So simple. So true. So good.
Thank you for the part on imagining what we could have done better. That's been my personal torture for the last little while.
Don't know MH if you are reading this buddy! But Thank you soo much man! This war inside seems like endless failure and lonliness..... But you gave me hope man! Thank you sooo much buddy! Hope I can see you in person to say Thank You!
No views!? I was sick with worry just thinking about exactly this, and right at the right time I opened youtube
Omg yes
Thank you. I cried. I can't win and it hurts.
If a school curriculum used these videos for classes and had students discuss afterward I'm sure this could transform a lot of relationships and society
My emotions seem to react before my brain I feel threatened if I don’t react quick maybe it’s the fear of loosing ? Great video Mathew thank you
I wasn’t doing my best. I was at my lowest and he loved me really well. He was at a high point and I wasn’t being present or loving him right and struggling with my own addictions. He made the right choice at that time and I hope the best for him.
Much love for everyone going through a breakup like me. 9 years gone. We will be okay.
My situation is so complicated I’m just so heartbroken.
I want you to know if you see this message....you saved my life today with this video I truly mean that
you have no idea how much this means to me, Matt. 3 years since posted, and I believed many more has felt the same from this video, god bless you Matt!
😢 there are some people your heart needs forever. It's devastating when 2 hearts don't feel the same.
I think this is the best measure and interpretation of relationship
Thank you so much for making these videos. What you cal the "deep" videos have been the most helpful to me.
The right relationship isn’t brittle… Thank you for saying it - that is immeasurable… 🙏
I’ve never been in a relationship but I’m still watching this hhaha
Me neitherr hahahahahahh i still watch such videos 😅
I wish I could go back to before relationships. It’s so hard! It’s so painful. I hope you and everybody eventually finds someone who adds to their lives, someone that doesn’t take the good away x
Same haha
I needed this so badly. Been beating myself up for a 7 year relationship that just ended. I been so depressed it showed up in my health and I was just hospitalized for two days. This video gives me hope. I love her dearly but it’s time for me to heal. Long distance relationship are so difficult.
100% agree with him, he taught me so much over the years. Thank you Matthew.
For the ones that broke down crying at the start of this video, I understand how you feel. I’m there, too. I really hope things get better.
It may not have been meant to be, but a few years later, it still makes me sad.
And yet another year has gone by and I feel exactly the same.
This hit home. I got a divorce during lockdown. Because of all the stress I got acne and scars all over my face, lost hair and aged. I'm so self conscious about myself. I finally got remarried this year, and I blew it because I was so self conscious and awkward and kept needing reassurance over and over. We also had a fight about something one day and it was totally my fault. I know he had stresses already in his life and I contributed. I regret everything. I wish I acted and spoke differently. I also shared too much. Was too negative about myself. I feel like the regret is just as hard as knowing we won't be together anymore. It's hard to live with.
Thank you so much for this video I've been doing the blame game for the past 3 years I wasn't so invested and he left it really hurt me it's been stopping me from moving on this really taught me a lot
@@magicspellmiracle1089 nah it's a done deal he blocked me on all social media handles
This was really interesting ... thank you Matthew 😊 How someone makes you feel about yourself is an important factor ... You can be stripped of your confidence by the way someone treats you over time ... that's debilitating ... It's only when you step away & see things from a distance ... you realise ... so leaving & regrouping is for the best ... at that time. Situations are always changing ... as are the people in them ... people shouldn't be brittle either ! 😊
Stop thinking there is an ideal or perfect relationship, there are just relationships, if it ends move on. You are #1 for you. Your love for you is the most important love.
Wow bro thanks for putting this together for people like me who don’t know how to understand why this has happened and helping me and others to move on over difficult times 🙏 thanks!
This is absolute gold for me right now, thank you so much for putting this video out!
It's true, my ex had attempted to break up with me way before Covid. He couldn't even break up with me after Pandemic he just said he didn't want to be in relationships because he's depressed under Covid. In the end, I told him I took it as it broke things up though he didn't mention breaking up with me. Months later, he emailed me acknowledged the split. I am still grateful that it didn't actually last 5 or 10 years to split up. So I think i am blessed. Bless you too everyone who is going through this.
My dear I can Introduce you to the same powerful Relationships Restorer and healer who helped me got back my ex back few ago, he can manifest your ex back real quick
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I am the reason why my marriage collapsed . My anger issues , childhood trauma , depression , a sexless marriage that lead to cheating and then the ultimate collapse .. I am struggling so hard .. so so hard .. but he went through a lot because of me and I can only ask for forgiveness from him and wish him the best. God bless him.
I needed to hear this. I felt like I lost the love of my life. I impulsively left a 20 y relationship after she did something that threatened my life and career. I felt the break and pull away. I feel so wounded, lonely, and dark. My mind racing with intrusive thoughts and regrets. I realized that if I had paused and thought through things.....we might have resolved whatever issues we were facing. My current perception is...they were not that serious to 😢break off contact.
Thank you for this. It’s been 7 months since she left me and if I’m being honest I can’t blame her. I’m an alcoholic, I cheated on her, wasn’t a man of my word and she did nothing to deserve that. She was and still is an AMAZING woman. But at the time I couldn’t be the man she needed. I hope in time I forgive myself and learn from my mistakes because this pain hurts so bad. Regret is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I’ll never forget her and I’ll always love her, but it’s time to heal and forgive myself😢
The way I look at it now...I’m glad I made the mistakes I made. Because it pushed the wrong person out of my life faster ❤️ mind you my mistakes were my reactions to lies, lack of thoughtfulness, and care. He was using me to get over someone and that was pure selfishness. If I had been perfect, he would’ve stuck around a lot longer and wasted even more of my time. Because it wasn’t ever really anything deep. Just surface level stuff he wanted but I wanted more. Glad I stuck up for myself and pushed him away. Albeit again I wish I would’ve handled myself better ONLY because I know I’m better than that. Hang in there guys!
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"Where you doing you best in the relationship" hits me so hard. I have to be honest I did not. me and my girlfriend split up after a year of being together because we aren't mentally stable enough to persist. WE both needed to work on each other in order to find each other again, but in a better person.
maybe one day I will see you again, love. I truly hope so.
You are so correct ! It’s so hard going through a divorce when he lied so much to me . I try to move on and then he somehow always creeps in but I finally this week said NO MORE!
That's why people should heal 1st before getting into a relationship.
So you don't bleed on someone that didn't cut you. 🤔 🏡 👌 🔥
You undid intense regret. Thank you.
This is one of The Best videos I have ever seen. Profound advice that I’m sure will help many people. I’m very happy I clicked on.
You have no idea how much you helped me.
listening to this video and it's hard truths, I'm in tears, and feel so broken from my recent break up..I know it wasn't Matts intentions, but damn, hard pill to swallow..
Jesus lord I needed exactly this! I hope my guy will realise that and is willing to work on this and calm will come in this relationship instead of defensiveness...🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻♥️
Thank you ❤ my relationship of 8 years ended in divorce after I asked my husband if he was cheating. He recently wanted to come back and I asked him for some time and maybe we can try in January and start the new fresh. He started being dodgy again and I’m back to square one on healing
Thank you so much Matt. I'm starting to let go.
That’s just it, when we were together we were strong. Being apart, listening to society, following rules has caused so much heart break. I know we could have made it if it wasn’t for my horrible mental state at the time….my people pleasing instead of listening to my heart. It seems that I lost….i pray God finds some one out there for me.
I just ended a 6 year relationship, because my partner just wasnt keeping up on her end. I worked 12 hours a day, managed all the finances, made sure all the bills were paid, maintained all the vehicles, our home, did all the grocery shopping, planned and cooked all the meals, kept her and our home safe and secure and all i asked in return was for help with cleaning and intimacy, it was pulling teeth to get those things without either excuses or an utter lack of effort, no matter how many times we discussed it, no matter how much i stressed how important it was. It just wouldnt change. I couldnt spend the rest of my life that way. In my case, she couldnt meet my needs but i was asking for so little, just help around the house and feeling like i was wanted and cared about and attractive. I shouldnt have to beg to get something so simple.
Thank you very much, i guess i only found this clip now in 2024 but it was meant to find me now. I gave my best and that wasnt good
enough.
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻Ty for this 😭guilt was eating me alive for years. This made so much sense...
I really needed this right now, thank you
I'm still heartbroken over my last breakup (2-3 months ago). She asked for space because she was going through a very tough time with her family. I panicked. I became so selfish and clouded with fear that I didn't give her the space she needed. I couldn't see that she still loved me at that point and that she gave me multiple chances to change how I acted. I'm so full of regret over what I did, but this video has helped me.
She forgive me after that fight where I screwed it up in my stress phase saying bullshit to her but she was there for me, I’m so lucky to have a person like her❤
It really is so unbearable to know that she repeatedly asked me for more attention, but I didn't show her enough. She went to find someone who could do that for her and now just feel so terrible.
My ex I was in love with called me crying she hasn't messaged me for almost really 2 weeks on and off. She met someone else😢And even when I broke up she was there for meShes done so much for me.I'm still working on myself. I'm not settled yetI'm still working on myselfHoping one day we can try again❤ at 30 and 34 I want her to have the best version of anyone. She made me cupcakes and a cake for my birthday with basketball theme. We both do. 😢lord God please 🙏 whatever ur will be rubyred I want her and me to be. If it's your will..keep ya head up fellas❤🎉
I don't need to have any regrets in regard to the demise of my past "relationships," because abuse and other extremely serious issues were involved!
I do feel for the ones who didn't have that though, as it might've worked out. It's important to grieve the losses, then the pain will fade and people do have a right to end relationships. ❤
its been a year and half since the love of my life left, during the pandemic because we were in different states and couldn't see each other due to it. Still think of him time to time but this video helped me so much. He never reached out and i have been told he's moved on and im still stuggling finding connections with guys. If it's meant to be it will be.
This is so true Matthew. I left my bf of 3mos for some supposedly petty silly wish/comment he made. But when actually, as you said in nr. 2, there were fundamentally’various’ and deeper reasons why I truly left.
I dare say theres a lot of stuff i could've done differently, but we all behave the way we do in the heat of the moment because qe think its right. Theres some things i would change and some i wouldn't. To make mistakes is human and to take responsibility is humane. 🍒
I completely failed by not matching my actions with my intentions - I was subsumed by work, enmeshed in my triggers, and didn't give the relationship the care and attention that he deserved. My letting go is because I want him to be loved in the way he deserves to be loved. I wasn't doing my best... what then? If they won't give another chance, is it all lost?
This man has saved my life !
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After looking at the end of a 5 year relationship I feel guilty even if I'm not, The only thing I can think of is all the nights I have coming where the only thing in my mind would be her and not knowing how many nights it's going to continue. Your words made my chest feel relieved and I don't think I'll be okay soon but I know that I will eventually. Relationships are sure, not brittle.
My heart hurts but my brain is ok. I was dumped by a person I tried to break up with 3 times after things happened and he said I should stay and I did. He said he didn't want a fragile relationship and that we could work things out and suddenly without notice I got an ultimatum with an expectation to give an answer in less than 24 hours. And I feel bad because we were together for 7 years but his actions showed it was brittle. And he has been thinking about this breakup for months talking to people about me without letting me know. As I type this I realize what I'm saying and hope that by next year I'll be ok and that this makes sense. Thank you for your video. This is my day 1 💔
Thank you. This video was really helpful. I hope my previous partner finds peace as well.
my ex-husband ended my relationship with the love of my life by threatening his status as a professor (man I searched my whole life for = former professor). Ex-husband threatened accusations, sufficient to get him to lose his job and 10 years of study to get to where he is. I am 25 and have to settle down with kids, and after searching a lifetime I found him. All for it to be destroyed with threats. it feels so out of my control I am internally screaming as mentioned in the video.
It hit me really hard: "Maybe it was the best you could do at the time with your resources, with your current wounds, with the knowledge that you had in the moment. Maybe it was your best at the time" Thank you Matt for a reminder to be gentle ❤️ really needed it.
You are great thanks for bringing back my separated, husband? ua-cam.com/users/shortsxy2q4fkipsg?feature=share
Ohhhhhh myyyyyyyy!!!!!! yessssss!!!!!! 🥺😭💔 "SWEAR that part hit me the hardest".
shit hit me hard too
This is really how is felt… like my best wasnt enough and i knew i wouldnt be enough
bs wrong advice. Own your mistakes
I don't want a new relationship. I want to fix myself and be the best true version of myself to give the woman I love everything she deserves
me two
How's it going now? Do you still want that old relationship?
Me two. I fucked it up
me too, its the worst pain. I'm scared that there is something deeply wrong with me, and I want to change that.
Me to. She genuinely loved me but I was neglecting her and taking her for granted, resulting her breaking up. I dont know why i didnt get those feelings for her but now i feel terrible and only want her. She told me she have moved on and dont want to hear about my feelings..
"Maybe it was the best you could do at the time" I needed to hear that right now, thank you Matthew, inspiring words as always ❤
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Really needed to hear that as well...
Me too❤
That's a big one for me, too.
Absolutely
When your intentions are pure, you don't lose people
People lose you ❤️
this deserves more attention. well put
Thank you
I didn't mean to hurt them I loved them I just wanted them to be nice to me
Thank you
Thanks❤
Crazy how women are worshipping quotes like these that absolve all forms of accountability from them 😂
"Being with someone whose needs you don’t feel you can meet, or you don’t feel you can meet consistently, is a slow form of torture that will erode your confidence over time until you forget who you were."
Yeah....that was the moment that hit me.
Wow.
Yes a sad fact but so true.
this is the line that gets thru me the most
This sums up the last ten years of my life.
Somebody wasn't giving away the WOP😂
The right relationship isn't brittle ❤️
Agreed
Amen to that
Problem is that I was not doing my best at all, it was the easiest relationship to make the best and I fckd it up by sabotaging it and being impatient
Yes I agree 😊
@@How.Dare.You. it's okay. It's all you knew at that time. Things will get better
“the right relationship isnt brittle.” 😭 So true but so hard when you just got ghosted after planning a marriage and a life together. 😭😭😭💔💔💔
Hi Sarah, sending you a lot of hugs. I imagine how hard it must be. Remember that you are enough, girl❤️
Sarah Bocht,you deserve better 🙏🙏🙏
Keep you're head up 💯💪🏾
oh man this pains me to read, just know the ghosting has a lot more to do with him than you. He cannot simply face the emotional ramifications of a break up
I'm so sorry 😞
"Maybe it was the best you could do at the time with your resources, with your current wounds, with the knowledge that you had in the moment. Maybe it was your best at the time"
I feel like I lost the love of my life, and so I come back to this video again and again to remind me. Thank you.
Same the connection was super deep as well and won't know if I could find that with someone else
It really does works for you !!
@@Cosmicflow9 same here I feel I cannot connect with any other woman
@@RAMIC-tv1ye and on thr other hand ...kya ladkiya bhi yahi sochti h...nah i dont think so....Ladke in reallly hote h aise....and m proud i am one of them rn.....
I feel you on that.
I met my biggest love (the biggest so far) at the worst time of my life. So naturally I wasn’t at my best at that time, and couldn’t really show my best qualities and who I really am because I was at the middle of a huge crisis. At first I felt really bad about my behavior but then I realized that it was the best I could do at that time. And I need someone who could understand that and be empathetic. Yes it’s unfortunate that timing was so bad, that I couldn’t shine as much as I can now, that I wasn’t in control of my life as much as I’m now but maybe it just was meant to be that way. People met even at more unfortunate times, like during WW2 for example, and they still stayed together and fought for love no matter what. That’s what I need. If my great grandpa found time to write my great grandma a letter even though he was at war and fighting Germans, I’m sure guys now can put time and effort to fight for relationships despite “that business trip” or “too much that’s going on right now” etc etc
You know more about love than he did - honor your insight and feelings. There is real love still, be open about who you are and don't pretend to be someone else - and the right man comes like the butterfly to the right flower. Trust it: "instincts" function when we don't give the wrong "signals". But you cannot totally hide either, that is not honest.
im in the same boats although i have a loooot of regrets about the way i acted towards him, its taking me a while to accept, forgive and move on with myself :/ time heals all i guess
@@indianchika123 Learning, living, loving! New chances come, keep your heart open and warm! Forgive yourself as you would others.
Though being an atheist it has helped me to say the following sentences of Our Lord's prayer: "...and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us..." which have given people strength for centuries. All the best wishes for healing and recovery!
us; a
@@indianchika123 so some time past since my post and during the past few months I found out about things I didn’t know before. I found out he was still not over his ex and wanted to get back together with her. I found out that he lied to me when he broke up with his ex (told me it was a year ago but in fact it was 3 months before we started going out). So at the end of the day there were reasons other than me not being at my best why we didn’t work out. So don’t blame yourself, the man who really wants to be with will be willing to understand when you are having a hard time and he will still stay. A man who doesn’t want to be with you will find every little flaw in you and will be fixated on your flaws instead of good qualities.
Did he come back to you? What’s the update?
"The right relationship is not brittle."
This is exactly what I needed to hear. When things were good, they were great. But the moment things got a little difficult, she'd always shut down and not talk to me. In the last two months before she broke up with me, I always felt like I was walking on egg-shells. She'd get mad at me for wanting to spend a day or two a week with her because apparently that was "too needy" and she "didn't have enough time in her life for that." The second that things got tough she emotionally bailed on the relationship long before she broke up with me. As much as I want to convince myself how great we were together, and as much as I keep making excuses for her even now, deep down, I know that I was never going to make her happy. She wanted things to go a very specific way and wasn't willing to meet me half-way, nor would she communicate these to me before getting mad at me about them. It sucks, and I don't fully believe it myself yet, but one day I know I'll appreciate that I'm better off without her.
My ex just broke up with me yesterday. I'm so broken brother. She's making me feel that I can't be needy. That because I'm different from most men and put love above all else, that It's unhealthy and not right. I'm so broken. Unable to breathe having panic attacks needing her. So confused from the girl I spent the past year with and who she is now that she decided she no longer needs me. She says she has a life to live. As if love isn't all we need...I'm so broken....
@Nater K Sounds like she has an avoidant attachment style, and may be a narcissist
Man, I relate to this so much...
Honestly you worded it how mine just ended.
This… if only she would understand before taking anything i say in the wrong context… its so disappointing
I wasn't ready for the right person. It really sucks to not be good enough for the person you wanted to be with. It sucks. It's hard to learn that commitment isn't about staying no matter what. Commitment is a promise to myself to being the best for them & me every morning and every day. I took some wrong turns b4 I met them. It really sucks. I guess there's no going back, but this really sucked. How to stop missing someone we love so deeply.. It sucks so badly. I miss them more than I can accept and they don't want to speak to me ever again. So I just have to carry it around. I sure hope I can overcome this and become better.
I'm so sorry. My fiancé broke up with me yesterday and I know I was less than ideal for him. And knowing that sucks. I understand how you feel.
I feel you
I'm in the same place, stay strong! It sucks is an understatement.
Well It sure has sucked to face, but if you love someone tons and they have to go because you're not very fantastic and there's a lot of better options, it taught me not to love people. Not from hurt or sadness; just, if you can't lift a box, don't lift boxes. And it settles like how a raw, runny egg settles jn a hot pan. I'm not great. So I 1st accept that and then 2nd, I don't try to connect with others. It means that whoever I am now has to slowly go away. Remembering bdays and anniversaries doesn't matter if you're not much.. And so you go become more and work 12-16 hr days and stop hugging or smiling and become what all the perfect ppl are. Hard working and less focus on heart.. Just hard work always and then, when someone comes along, I will know it's becaue of my hard work, not my heart, and I won't want them for their heart.. So gotta find someone who's hard work benefits me in some way. Loving someone for no reason and no material gain has become a waste of life & energy..
@@JT-wc7me work on yourself and allow relationships to come in your life friends and other wise or you won’t heal my friend
No I haven't screwed, they just left and it's thier loos. I'm definitely OK and cool with being single until someone better is going to come along.
Matthew: People leave because...
1. They’re not good at dealing with tough times in a relationship.
2. You are not meeting what they perceive to be their needs.
Me: Another reason people leave is “the grass is always greener” syndrome.
Sounds just like a Narcissist, can’t handle anything and they throw temper tantrums whenever something doesn’t go well. They also expect you to give, give, give because they think the world revolves around them and they can’t bother themselves with what you might need or have to say.
Also if you are an empath watch out, because narcissist love to pray on people who they find caring and giving. They view this as a weakness and try to manipulate and deceive these types to get their way.
I think that falls in number one
Annette Celia Rosemary Not necessarily. Some guys just happen upon someone else and go for it.
@@ellengrace4609 then u have to include girls here to, tho
@@ragedinah4610 Agreed. That’s why I said people and not men, in my original post.
That was good. That was reaaal good! 🙌🏼
That’s what she said !!
Hey checkmark
Agree!!!
Big time
@@travistee368 u are so right ✅ 👏
In love, you do whatever you can to make the other person happy even if it's apologising for something you didn't actually do...but that made them upset. I did the same, I blamed myself, I apologised, I corrected myself. But when it became a pattern, I just realized that I was actually the most cooperative and loving partner he could ever have. Feel sorry for people like me...who love with all their heart and end up with nothing except pain.
Sounds like me. I feel destroyed.
I have been through something similar..more power to you