0:58 Ax Murderers can even use these 1:10 Eyes 3:28 Confidence and playfulness 6:20 Fitness and strong jawline 8:53 Good character 11:20 A facial scar 11:53 Book smart 15:45 Good personality 16:50 additional traits added by Courtney (posture, beard)
Eyes indicate interest. Character creates trust. Fitness and Jawline suggest health. Facial Scars suggest toughness and protection. Personality and book smarts implies that he can be social and make friends and/or acquire resources.
A lot of women only see if he'll be a good father when she reaches her 30's. She'll realize that the bad boy and player won't be there for her after they have children. So it takes that much drama to realize that the genuine nice guy was to have a relationship with.
BUT by then they'll probably not be attractive to the genuine nice guys anymore. Getting ran through by the bad boys during her 20's, ghosting and friendzoning those nice guys, yeah, most nice guys would move on, seeking a woman who would admire them and their values BEFORE going through all the drama because drama can translate to bad baggage.
I tend to find it amusing but sad for everyone. there's a reason father's were controlling things for most of history. to keep the guys that young women delude themselves into thinking are good away. men get very indignant when there hard work and suffering is expected for someone who spent their own inheritance and wants theirs. it's like a cripple expecting a woman to bear him children because he's a human. order needs to be established as the bitterness from everyone is very palpable.
@@thefox47545 the problem with nice guys is they aren't "good" men who are defined by being good at being a man with kind character, nobody chooses to be a nice guy. they want to either be the good man or be the guy women complain about but can't and settle. you can see the mask fall when the latter version talk about the wall. nobody benefits from the wall, they just take glee in reality hitting and the woman being sad
The "funny guy" trait is a bit of a tricky one because girls/women will naturally giggle around a man they are attracted to even if what he says is not funny. whereas a less attractive guy can be saying the same things and be viewed as idiotic or creepy. This has happened to me and I see it happening to others, and firmly believe that females of all age groups will look for reasons for an attractive man to be compatible for them while looking for reasons to disqualify men who are less attractive regardless of whether that attraction applies to looks or something else.
this is true but you cant discount the fact that there is such a thing as humor and there are people who are objectively better at it than others such that its a skill that can be improved upon to varying degrees depending on the person's intelligence/wit/social acumen.
@@annonymous6827 Yes, they do. It's correlated with intelligence. And everyone cares about intelligence, especially when you're talking about long-term mating.
I've literally told jokes to women at the bar and nothing but crickets, 2 minutes later a better looking guy copied what I said and all of a sudden what I said is comedy gold🙄
I have known and have been a friend with a woman for over 60 years, since we were about 5. We have phone conversations about every month or so. She tells me she likes to call me to talk about some very private and serious things and asks many times for my honest advice. She trusts me. She also said she likes me to talk to her because I make her laugh. I truly love to hear her laugh. I have always supported and encouraged her when she is in doubt. I value our friendship. Relationships can be very long lasting and can have a unique love for each other.
True about if the man will bea good father. I have just started dating this wonderful woman. One of the things she told me early on is that she's not looking for a "bad boy" or "rich man". She just wanted someone who put in effort and had their stuff together to be happy. Had me shook!
That's a good sign, dude. If that's what you're hoping to be yourself, then it's great that you two see eye to eye about where you want this to go. A relationship that lacks this is destined to fail. Good luck man.
@@quinnriley237 Exactly - how old is this girl I wonder? - 28-32 hitting epiphany phase? Definitely just words. If 20-25 a bit more encouraging but still be careful.
Some women being attracted to guys with a mean mug is something I've known for quite a while. I have a naturally neutral facial expression which makes people think I'm mean, but then I smile and all of a sudden women are shocked because they assumed I was mean. Really weird but it happens.
That could be truee as I sort of had neutral facial expression in school. And still have, idk why women are drawn to about me. As I'm being honest not super good looking person in world neither is ugliest
One thing I have noticed numerous times when talking with both men and women is that we often want something different from what we have currently. We are predisposed to wanting what we do not have. Beautiful women are used to men desiring them for their beauty, and will often seek out men who compliment other areas. Same for men who are well off financially. This can be helpful information if you understand how the last person they were with treated them, and can accentuate the opposite traits they may have been neglecting.
'Want' is a synonym for 'lack' so I don't know if you can actually want something that you don't lack, if you really think about it. Do you 'want' the clothes you're wearing? Or do you just enjoy having them? Do you 'want' the food you just ate or are you satisfied/grateful? I think it is a totally different experience. I think that if we think about what we want, we are thinking about what we don't have, so I think this phenomenon of wanting we do the have is almost inevitable. For something you already have, it is a different emotion, like appreciation, or gratitude. Which is not what people think of when they are thinking of things they want/desire, so someone who is always thinking of what they want/desire - if that is your criteria for knowing you are on the right track - is always going to be seeking the next thing that they don't have. It's quite an art to actually appreciate what you have. It's actually a completely different type of thinking than going after what you want, so you need to train yourself into it, in my experience
yeah, it seems redundant to tell a beautiful women she's beautiful. she hears it all the time and you're not saying anything original that stands out. you'd be better off complimenting a unique personality trait of hers that not many people notice. but in general, keep compliments to a minimum. too much and it shows insecurity and the need to win her approval. remember, you want her trying to win your approval, not the other way around.
The facial scar thing could be a sign that the man has successfully navigated dangerous situations and come out on top, rugged look etc. Seems in line with the bad boy attraction.
@OP yes and no. It has some of that effect but mainly in modern times it is also a unique mark. It makes you stand out. This comes from someone that does have a facial scar and does get some attention from it. To add more to it, when guys notice it, usually they want to know the story. Women rarely ask the story, they just take note of it and in rare cases I had a woman caressing the line of it in a nureting kind of way. It's interesting the difference in reactions.
I was thinking the same thing as well, although the scar that might add to attractability is probably a superficial scar, as opposed to a debilitating/deformative scar.
@@yeticusrex1661 even then, there are men whom were deformed and yet got more credit/social standing due to the reasons that happened. Why there are tales or Kings and Old Soldiers missing eyes that garnered more respect due to "war wounds"
I find it attractive when a woman is comfortable being silly. I think a bit of weirdness makes things interesting. The inside jokes and laughs that you can share when you're both comfortable being silly/weird can really make a difference in my opinion.
Thank you, Courtney. I appreciate your top quality presentation. It means a lot to me! I am an older man, 58 years old now, and would appreciate more content aimed towards older guys on occasion rather than most of your posts, which in my opinion, tend to lean more towards the younger guys. Again, thank you, Steve.
The way Courtney explained the traits made it very interesting but I did realize sth when I clicked the article link: This article is a masterclass in media writing. Because the crafty title, and the way they repackaged the traits throw you off and you never realize it's actually the most generic, stereotypical hot guy list: A stoic face, a chiseled jawline, a fit muscular body, a great personality, education, a badass "battle scar" That's literally the list.
"If you didnt want me in your prime then dont expect me to want you in your decline"......if i wasnt "good enough' for you back then then im too good for you now.
I'm free from all of that! I gave up on women in general and dating a long time ago because its all about games or self centered interests. I deal with the public on a regular basis and I find many men that I interact with are on a power or ego trip. Ugh! Why women are drawn to that says a LOT about the values of the woman!
I had to wear a mask while I was at work during covid so I stopped shaving and grew a beard underneath. I never knew I had a bit of ginger and blond in my beard as well as the usual brown and a bit of grey. People say I look totally different
The "smug look" make sense. Every relationship I've been in the women have said "I LOVE your smile, it makes me so happy when you smile." I think it's because normally I'm pretty neutral faced and so it creates more value on my smile.
Embracing yourself (the accomplishments, insecurities and everything in between) radiates upon people. You can just feel someone's energy. And that's sometimes what I go based on. Yeah looks are important, but it's deeper than that. A human to human connection is important. You experience that connection by embracing yourself and sharing that with others with your demeanor.
Went out with this girl last night who was quirky AF... but confident and cute (probably unbeknownst to her).... it was suuuuper endearing she was adorable.
I just want to thank you. I just recently found your channel and your videos have truly helped me. I’ve never really been in a relationship before and that is because of my insecurities and how I’ve let them rule my life for my entire teen years. Your videos on mens health videos have basically let me transition into a period in my life where I can interact with people and not have to worry so much about whether or not I’m being “perfect”, where I can just be myself and be happy about who I am. And because of that I’ve become confident and happy which unfortunately I haven’t felt in a very very long time. No amount of “thank you”s will really show how truly grateful I am for that. I’m now subscribed.
That's awesome man! Always work on ways to improve yourself... it's hard not to be confident in yourself when you know you're getting better and better every day!
I think somebody needs to start an organization to seek Justice against the boomers before the rest of them die, so they can get what's coming to them for what they did.
When it comes to long term dating I personally look more for whether or not someone can consistently handle my "level" of sarcasm, doesn't take themselves too seriously but does take their work seriously, ethically and morally sound, and punctual/reliable.
@@Capohanf1 I read that humans evolved to act out childlike behavior (like that of a two year old, positive and negative behavior) in order to simultaneously test the partner's ability to raise a child and to prepare the partner to raise a child. (how well one does in these "tests" , apparently affects romantic attraction). I also read that behavioral traits are in great part genetic, and the genetic influence is strongest as a toddler. The nurture portion of influence on behavioral traits is strongest during adolescence, after which nurture's influence on behavioral traits decline as people age (people very slowly return toward becoming a toddler again, as they age). So to me, finding out what kind of toddler that person was (behaviorally), is something I took into account while contemplating commitment. It might be a coincidence, but I've dodged bullets this way, and I got very lucky finding my wife. So when my wife sometimes acts out a bit, I just view it as tests being conducted by her biology (and not her), and respond accordingly. I view it as dealing with two seperate entities occupying the same mind and body, who are in disagreement about what they really want and their goals. Her and her biology (her inner 2 year old) .
The beard thing is true. I used to keep it short and I don’t have a strong jaw line or chin, but when I let it grow out and keep it trimmed I’ve gotten more complements and attention from that than any other aspect of my appearance. (Also I’m not gonna lie I can grow an epic beard)
These are all qualities of a high level man. A man that is fit, capable, interesting and has his finances right. Awesome video again Lana Rhodes sister
These things are all bogus fellas. Get your financial situation in order, take care of yourself physically and mentally and you won't have issues attracting women. You want to be in control of the situation. The last thing you want is to be chosen by a woman approaching/in her 30s, who is choosing you because you won't run around on her. An attractive woman dates less appealing men because she knows they won't leave! She knows that she's the best you'll probably get, and that you most likely don't have as many options as her. If you have your life put together, you have the options. A successful man will always have options! Good luck gents.
I have not read all the comments below, but in case is was NOT mentioned, a women's VOICE can be very appealing. I would assume to some women that a guys voice can be a turn on as well. In your case, that's one reason I like your videos. You have a very feminine voice that is an instant attractant.
another one that goes along with posture and jaw and power is 'taking up space' the person who takes up space is perceived as controling their environment and is seen as dominant and the scar would theoretically be similar to a tatoo, successfully navigating a traumatic life experience
Dilated pupils can mean sexual arousal, or anger, or fear - pupils dilate with the 'fight or flight' response. In a romantic setting, of course, it means arousal. The traits you are talking about that make men attractive to women aren't 'weird' at all. A scar on the face suggests that the man isn't afraid of a fight and has been in combat, and obviously came through (mostly) intact. That means power.
I was so immature until about 30, once I grew up and got my shit together I seemed to be much much more attractive to women and had way better luck despite being way less physically good looking than my early and mid 20s (im tall, and I WAS in good shape lean muscles 6 pack swimmer type body...no longer have this uh body shape)...but growing up and being a better likeable mature and confident man went way further for me with girls
In grad school, on more than one occasion, I have had women ask about the scar on my face. On one such occasion, a woman's opening line was "how did you get that scar? Were you in a fight? Did you have to defend yourself from an attack?" She was really looking for a juicy story behind my scar.
I think the biggest problem with a study like this is women were asked questions and have their responses. This happened with their logical mind engaged. But, what they respond to, what they are truly attracted to, can be very different. What they said in logic mode can be far off base to what they are actually attracted to in person. Women are mostly attracted the positive emotions they feel when they are around a guy that makes them feel that way. That’s why they have two minds. The one engaged in logic, and the emotional one which is where attraction comes from. This questionnaire study disregards these truths.
do animals ''take care'' of themselves in the same manner to attract mates? what do you mean specificly by taking care? going to the gym and eating healthy? In nature, males often have to do more to attract females than vice versa. why is that?
@@smashmusique They have brainwashed modern women into believing they don't need to put in work and are already perfect while preaching the opposite to men. Divide and Conquer.
A thing that women do that I find really attractive is, being innocent. I'm not talking in an ironic way, where there is a sexual undertone, I'm talking actually being meek, having good will towards people, and being generally resistant to degenerate mainstream culture. Low body count, high empathy, mild temperament, and being original and expressing their true passions with transparent glee.
your comments on character are dead on, so many women i talked to married when young and as they got older they wanted out of the relationship because of clashes in character. being on a few dating sites its is amazing how many women are divorced in their 50as and want everything under the sun but dont expect to offer much in return.
The scar thing is from the hunter/gatherer era. A man with a scar is a man who won a fight to the death against a cave bear or some other human. He is clearly able to defend himself, thus he will be able to defend a woman and their offspring.
I think it is more "after ten years of dating bad boys and fewer and fewer options because attraction lowered with the years suddenly reliability, responsibility and accountability are important". Thank you girls, we love to be an option, after your best years are over.
thanks for giving me confidence been watching your videos lately. I had just got out of a 6 year relationship because of my epilepsy. I'm still sad but your videos motivate me to keep learning my new skill and do my best. Again Thanks!
Wait... she left you because you're epileptic and have seizures? Wow... Karma will be unkind to her. Let's hope her future husband doesn't leavenher when she has breast cancer
I have two facial scars, one on my eye brow and one on my cheek. The eye brow scar is always visible, but the scar in my beard is only visible when I'm growing a beard. Lady's eyes light up when they find out the patchy spot in my beard is actually a scar.
Hey Courtney, more on the 'bad boy' sort of man. There's something known as the dark triad personality which women have found statistically most attractive in men and also the correlation between the dark triad and the age of women. I would highly recommend reading up on the paper 'The Dark Triad personality: Attractiveness to women' by G.L Carter for more information
Hello Courtney: In earlier times in Europe, women would take a drug to called nightshade to enlarge the size of their pupils. Another name of that drug was "belladonna", ie "beautiful lady". It was also dangerous. Stay well and safe.
@@ragingjaguarknight86, I have read that tomatoes leaves contain nicotine, but I imagine they would make a terrible tobacco substitute. 🤢 I don't smoke, but I really like the smell of tobacco when it is not burning. Tomato leaves not so much. Now a tobacco plant that grows delicious tomatoes might be really nice.
Courtney makes a good point about women not caring about "character" when they are young, but switching gears when they get older. The problem for those women is it's often too late. We guys want the young ones. The shelf life for women is short. I'm sorry that sounds cruel, but it's true. Why would we come running for an older woman who has suddenly decided she cares about character and has wasted her best years on jerks? This is why you hear women 30+ complain: "How come there are no nice guys?"
I have heard multiple times before that according to research a happy face is not attractive for a man. This hurts me deeply and makes me feel very insecure because i often have the expression of a happy boy with big eyes and raised eyebrows (I also work in the catering industry where you are supposed to be hospitable). I thought this was a good feature, attractive and desirable, but nothing i am or do seems good enough anymore for women. I refuse to be mean to everyone with an arrogant face. That is not a life i want to live and goes against everything my parents tought me. I am a kind, attractive, intelligent, creative, caring man with nothing but good intentions, a desire for a meaningfull longterm relationship, starting a family, real genuine intimacy, good social skills and working hard on myself for alot of years already now. If women around my attractiveness level expect me to lie to them, create drama to entertain them and act like a completely different person, i choose to be alone.
You must understand that just means majority of women under 30 won't like you off the cap. Women over 50 appreciate smiling men more. Women go through a ton of phases during life on average they have atleast 7 or 8 phases and we only have 3 or 4 and this is in an 80 year life span.
You must understand that just means majority of women under 30 won't like you off the cap. Women over 50 appreciate smiling men more. Women go through a ton of phases during life on average they have atleast 7 or 8 phases and we only have 3 or 4 and this is in an 80 year life span.
Just be your authentic self Tom. You should be wanting someone who wants you, not a curated fake version of you. If ur not a total recluse you’ll find her - or she’ll find you. Best to you.
Yeah the eyes is definitely a thing because even though I'm under 6 ft, when I'm on dating apps women 90% of the time that initiated conversation with complimenting my eyes, even if it's just the words "those eyes"
Things that women find attractive in a man: 1. Kind eyes* 2. Mean eyes* 3. Beards* 4. Clean shaven* 5. Funny* 6. Stoic* 7. Breathing* 8. Not breathing* * Only counts if she already thinks you're good looking, otherwise you're just creepy
A well-groomed beard does work, for me anyway. I started growing one in February it grew in a little oddly; I have dark brown hair, but my beard grew in a white gray, and its garnered more smiles from the ladies then I’ve ever had in my life.
Something I found out recently about women, is how you walk is important, an old man's shuffle is the worst thing you can have; women don't want any part of you if you have one of those.
Yes definitely about personality and we do have to put our best foot forward to her and my thing is what I seek in woman is her inner beauty and confidence
RE: the bad boy thing. I wonder if thats another or at least secondary negative effect of dating apps. Dating apps give girls a constant supply of bad boys so it takes way longer to get fed up/run out of bad boys before giving a decent guy a shot because theres always another bad boy that "will be different this time".
It takes some women a loooooong time to realize they're choosing poor quality men. My sister, for example, all the way into her 40's with a string of bad boys, because the good guys were too boring for her. Well, the last one finally pushed her over the edge, and now she thinks all men are terrible and doesn't want to date at all. 🤦♂
@13:33 I disagree with the part where you talk about how if someone doesn't want a commitment, they don't value things or are not husband/wifey material. The reason I disagree is because I personally know many people that value many aspects of a relationship even if it doesn't fit your ideal perspective of a relationship, and those people have added value in many ways to their "open relationship" or "FWB" or "what ever their dating goals are" etc. Just because someone doesn't want a commitment, doesn't make them a bad boy or bad girl. It's not that black and white. There are many reasons of course. I do appreciate your positivity and your attempt to make these complicated topics as transparent as possible.
Courtney, according to Tom Leykis advice is to treat woman like crap and dirty. He said women love it. The more you're nice to her and be there for her she'll have less respect for you. What are your thoughts on Tom?
haha, good luck getting a women who has self respect, intelligence and will make a good spouse listening to Tom Leykis, also that dude looks like a cave troll.
I think if you go down that road it won't work out. In the short term, sure but if you treat anyone like crap for long enough, that shit will come back on you x 1000. A wicked person eventually gets theirs
I have a scar to the side of my eye from acne and sometimes people think it's a tattoo and women always ask me about it. One thought it was a tear drop lol
The one about facial scars immediately reminded me of a moment from The Simpsons. One of the very early seasons. Bart was talking to a daredevil motorcycle stunt jumper (Lance Murdock). Anyway, the stunt guy says to Bart, "pain is temporary, bones heal, and chicks dig scars." Completely true on all counts. And let's face it, scars tend to imply a bit of danger (or dangerous activity), and we all know chicks dig the bad boy, the dangerous boy.
Great Topic Courtney...So what guys really need is for women(never gonna happen) to wear, like a fit-bit, Hormone Indicator, we can see from a distance. All those beautiful hormones that are raging under her beautiful appearance. The one with the most activity is the one you might be cautious of, or not. We're all under the influence of our hormones...fact. Have Fun.🐬
Seriously for the 7 traits to be noticed, you have to be default attractive in the women’s eyes. How would the trusts even work if you’re INVISIBLE to them…
🛑FYI: Lumify (brimonidine) is a prescription drug (at least here in Canada)! It shouldn't be used without consulting since it is used to treat glocoma. It does that by constricting blood vessels (which is why your eyes look whiter), thus reducing the pressure inside the eye (protecting your retina in the process). It is NOT healthy to use that product if you don't absolutely need it. I just wanted to put that out there because using prescription drugs just to make yourself look better is a really bad decision healthwise.
I love men with facial scars. There is something very sexy about it. Every scar has a story, and it makes a man look more rugged and tough, and therefore more masculine. That is a huge plus for me, together with a fit body (not perfect, but well maintained), and good character is imperative. Bad boys are so over-rated, and so not worth it. A good man is nowadays a gem.
Great vid! Also fellas, being a “bad boy”doesn’t always equate to being a scumbag lol. If you are confident, successful (or driven), and prioritize yourself (rather than caving for every girl) it has the same effect as a being a “bad boy”. It will make most women and people gravitate toward you without you being an awful person lmao
It's a hard line to walk honestly and if you're black being a bad boy means being the scum of the earth and they won't want you long term. The stuff that's imposed on us is impossible to actually do in reality.
As a guy seeking marriage, that pretty much means the minority of the female population are left for me to find. You know what the ROOT PROBLEM is with relationships in the USA? The masses have forgotten what marriage is, and for those who are at least a little bit interested, what they think about marriage is mostly wrong. Example: most things in that article have to do with "how can she give me what I want? how can he give me what I want?" The essence of marriage is SELFLESSNESS, TWO UNIQUE PEOPLE SACRIFICING EVERYTHING THEY WERE, TO MARRY AND FORM ONE NEW UNIQUE ENTITY THAT DIDN'T EXIST.
My dating advice - just be yourself. If you're naturally funny then be funny, if you're naturally mean and moody be that, if you are geeky be geeky, if you're a bookish, thoughtful, reflective type then be that. If you are naturally confident then sit tall with jawline protruding, but don't do it if it doesn't accord naturally with your personality. One can act a part for a date (although most people cannot do it convincingly) but one cannot keep that act up indefinitely and be something you are not. Don't over analyze yourself. You are you and your history, genes, culture, experiences have made you what you are. If she likes you, you won't be able to do much wrong, and if she doesn't like you then whatever you do won't matter because her mind is already made up.
Wow, it's amazing to hear someone else acknowledge the "will they be a good parent?" That's basically the first deal-breaker I ever look for when looking at women. If they can be a reliable parent. I'd take a strong mama-bear over anyone who'd just panic or cry. I always date women who'll be good mothers. If I can't trust her with a kid, I won't date her.
One thing that was not mentioned is how you behave when you are in a group, that is, how you behave around your friends for example (all your good or bad features are literally in front of her and that can decide how she feels about you.) And yep, personality (being funny) is the number one thing that makes you attractive to girls. If you crack a good joke in front of her, be sure that she will see you differently.
This is literally what ended my only ever relationship. I was nervous and felt inferior in front of her friends during a party. That was the death knell.
@@BB-te8tc that's too bad! But you are not inferior to anyone. Remember that. Just work on your confidence and relax and be yourself. People can be intimidating at times. But take it as a game and keep playing!
@@kylev5602 maybe you just need to read the group better and see where you can fit! Maybe your dry remarks can be well received to to tone down the loudness of others! All personalities are valuable in a group, believe me.
@@kylev5602 Play to your strengths. Get away from the whole group. Cut the ones you are comfortable with, maybe Three or four, out of the herd. Then just be yourself. 😊
So I am scarred up, decently on my body, particularly in my extremities. And I knew a girl one time was very hard, but she loved studying my scars. This was back in high school and I’m pretty sure this girl had a crush on me, however, I was a senior, and she was a freshman, and I wasn’t about to date no freshman. But it’s almost for the same reason as Man will respect a man with many scars on his body and face that women find scars attractive. It’s a sign of battles with one and fight, it’s the mark of a survivor. And depending on your demeanor, you may not just be surviving, you may be thriving.
No it's not. Literally everyone uses flattery to grease the wheel on occasion. It's human nature to play to the need for validation for a variety of reasons, such as when you've found yourself in the dog house or you want to butter her up for something.
@@starstray4326 Yes it is. Ignoring the subjectivity of what is "good" or "evil", I contend that everyone is born "evil". You have to teach a child to share, not bite, what's right or wrong, etc. Human nature is inherently "evil" by societal standards.
Coming from someone who did have a facial scar (before many surgeries) after a random knife attack, trust me….it’s not a conversation starter. If someone asked it ruined my day having to remember that day.
One problem I struggle with a lot is knowing where on my neck my beard should stop. So, I just keep my clean shaven. I can grow facial hair but I just do not know where that facial hair should stop. And, I absolutely love women who wear glasses. The glasses that have the thick black plastic frames that Jennifer Aniston wears most the time. I also have to wear glasses too. But, most of the time when leaving the house I wear my contacts. I only wear my glasses at home.
I have a strong jawline at the right weight, and I am headed that direction now, but what really gets them is my smile and the width of my shoulders. Once they first meet me, a good button up worn casually, and rolled sleeves works well (if you have good forearms), and what carry's the day though is my sense of humor and flirting. Men, it rarely matters how good you look if you aren't comfortable enough to talk to these women. They aren't really that different from you, so don't be afraid of them. You are probably naturally funny with the guys, right? If you are with the right girl, most of that sense of humor applies just as well if not BETTER.
I have said this before about your content and will say it again. I think what you are doing is wonderful and appreciate what you have to say. I will say that since I do have a facial scar I do notice that it has definitely made it easier to approach or even have regular interactions with the opposite sex
Sense of humor is important I think for the underlying presumption beneath it. That is, that the man's not sufficiently stressed about anything (including about HER behavior), that he can devote mental resources to having fun and enjoying himself. Not being stressed about her behavior - realistic or not - suggests compatible personalities and goals. I've got a good sense of humor, but not when my girlfriend's engaging in behavior I see as detrimental to herself, our relationship, to others, or to me. In this respect intelligence can be a relationship killer.
Nice channel 🙂. Do you or anyone else have tips on average normal minorities? I’m not 6”+ and white and all my female friends love that look and they (white guys) kill it with very easy effort. Happy for tips on improving attractiveness or dating while a 5,10” black without being either overlooked, undesirable, or seen as “dangerous “. Does same general advise apply or being 100% honest are there be some differences that minority men need to face up to?
number one tip is to not be insecure in your image my dude. I've known guys who blow it to the extent that they clearly had someone who was into them, but brushed it off because "clearly they aren't attracted to my xyz..." Hell, that was me in my younger and mid 20's. 2 things together completely upped my confidence in impenetrable ways. those were therapy, and pursuing hard physical activities. things like hiking, and especially lifting in the gym. Accomplishing those hard tasks that previously seemed insurmountable just builds your confidence in unshakable ways. Took me between 2-5 years depending on how you look at it, but I started doing multi day hikes in 2017, started therapy in 2020, and started lifting in December last year. I would say that it wasn't until spring of this year that my confidence was unbreakable. I'm a 5'7" bald red headed white guy with freckles. started balding in my teens... in June a woman asked ME out, and we dated for 4 months. and unlike one previous similar situation, it didn't break me. I have more things going on in life than just the dating aspect, and many of those are more important to me than any potential relationship. In short, stop fretting over things you can't control. Things like your height, and your skin color. You don't want some shallow racist girl around anyways. Focus on you, and making yourself a better man. Not a better man for women, but a better man for yourself.
@@NickM_FirstofHisName One can decide to be brave and take on tough tasks that build confidence though. therapy is tough. progressing in the gym is tough. getting out of your own way in any pursuit is tough, especially at the onset. its deciding to take the road to be better that will lead to confidence after you've attained some progress along that road. and its never ending path.
I know this sounds mad but when I take pictures with multiple different Women and post it onto social media, I get tons of girls who have never liked my pics end up starting to like my pics and jump into my DMs. This isnt even a lie. There were two girls who rejected me in my early 20s. I still got them on Instagram and ever since they saw me hang out with multiple different Women, they have started liking my pics. One of the Girls who rejected me actually messaged me to check up on me. We spoke then I brought up the time I told Her when I fancied Her. I swear to God She asked me if I still fancied Her and I told Her no. She had Her chance back in the day.
Hey Courtney! You should create a singles event--invite the guys who watch your videos (and live in the local area) and the girls who are thinking, "I can't find great guys around here. Maybe Courtney could help."
Related to online dating: Cameras in smartphones got a really small sensor (most people use those cameras), which warps the picure somewhat. A picture isn't representative of real life.
Thx for another great insight and vid on everything for us men Courtney! I totally agree with the facial hair. I’m much more confident and happy with it around girls 100% vs in my early 20’s I never wanted facial hair. But now it’s a 180 at 29
The two things I’ve always been self-conscious about are the two things girls have told me they like best about me. I get the ‘eyes’ a lot. Bad pun, I know. I never noticed I had blue rings around my brown eyes (not due to vitamin deficiency, it’s a hereditary trait in my family. I asked my Mum after) until a girl pointed it out to me. I’ve had a squint since childhood which I’ve always been embarrassed about. I’ve been complimented on my smile a lot too. I never liked my smile before that. Colour me pleasantly surprised.
16:20 well more than that even... how do you humbly convey such a thing online? I have hard to break habits of charm, but those don't come through easily online. I'm not going to just walk down the list of good traits and claim them as my own because they'll reflect nicely on me for the opposite sex.
Along with being attractive to some woman something more important is- Do you live a life that a woman would want to be part of? This is why the stereotype of a "neckbeard" playing video games all day in mom's basement is a non-starter for attracting women. What's in that life for her? Unfortunately, that requirement rules out a lot of other men's lives too. Tik tok and Facebook have raised the bar on the kind of life women are told to expect. You need money so you can entertain her with dinners, concerts, travel, pro sports events, etc. You need to be constantly not striving, but actually winning, in a "surpass the Jones's" kind of life, where the world just falls in your lap. Most of us can't fill that bill of goods. I work. I play golf. I fish. I hunt. I lift. I run. I've made enough money that I want for nothing. But the number of women who are going to be attracted my life would fit in the eye of a needle. And that small number may not be anywhere near my vicinity. You can be doing really well and still be a next to impossible to match. I would have to take on a lot of things I don't enjoy and can't make myself care about, to be more "mainstream" and appeal to a wider swathe of women. In other words, "it would help me a lot if I were in fact somebody else."
People need to stop trying to play attraction as a rule book or a list to follow. It doesn't work that way, and no relationship is going to last this way.
The Scar thing is interesting. So sometimes I get attention due to the scar that subtly breaks my eyebrow. It only gets noticed when I am in close conversational distance. Those of any gender notice it, but I get more reciprocal flattery back from women when they notice it. In my case since I am in a happy somewhat open polyamerous relationship i typically am not looking for other partners. It does feel nice to get noticed for it sometimes. I am not self-conscious of it, but I don't particularly like the scar.
@@kevinsamson1693 If it caused me actual discomfort or dysphoria I would consider it. It's more of it makes me more noticeable and I think nothing of it.
With respect to eye pupil: Photographers and especially portrait are very much aware of the pupil and the message it conveys. A dim modeling light is used to be able to see how the light falls upon the face and as such, the pupil is wider; when the shutter is released, the brighter flash light goes off to capture the image, but as the eye cannot respond so quickly, it is recorded as larger, thereby rendering a more attractive "look" of the model.
The body language (exuded) of pride, exemplified through posture and jaw line. Mind creates body as body creates mind. Much like assuming Alpha position will alter mood. I find how women gesture and or articulate their hands and wrists is highly attractive. It shows a certain refinement to or of their personality. Of course exclusive to a type of woman I would specifically prefer. As per what am I attracted to and why. These “signs” or body language are hallmark and the visual pheromones of allure ❤.
You are a very feminine lady with lots of confidence. Not only that, you have a good foundation of sound moral standards that's why men who think straight and thinks right like to listen and learn from you! Please keep it up. (Btw, I've recommended some of your videos to my son's of college level. Maybe they've subscribed to your channel already.)
0:58 Ax Murderers can even use these
1:10 Eyes
3:28 Confidence and playfulness
6:20 Fitness and strong jawline
8:53 Good character
11:20 A facial scar
11:53 Book smart
15:45 Good personality
16:50 additional traits added by Courtney (posture, beard)
Its nice to see Axe Murderers represented. And thanks for the time stamps!
13:53 for book smart
Fit good looking and confidence= “weird” things women like in a man…..
@@rickshaw3397 I was thinking the same thing. How tf are these “weird”. I know actual weirdos and they’re the homies.
they prioritize feelings and emotion, hence why they say vibe and energy. Read the unplugged alpha by richard cooper
Eyes indicate interest.
Character creates trust.
Fitness and Jawline suggest health.
Facial Scars suggest toughness and protection.
Personality and book smarts implies that he can be social and make friends and/or acquire resources.
nice synopsis
Eyes have it does that also go for a Guy who has a REALLY BAD LASY 👁️ EYE like who's he talking to
I think humor and a genuine good personality win it all! i’ve seen the most unattractive overweight men with the most beautiful women!
@@scottbegonias313 I have too and that’s why I’m not blackpill. Looks aren’t everything. But they do matter.
@@countryboyred So does money..Let’s get real!
A lot of women only see if he'll be a good father when she reaches her 30's. She'll realize that the bad boy and player won't be there for her after they have children. So it takes that much drama to realize that the genuine nice guy was to have a relationship with.
Seriously, it's like when someone tries getting a real job after a life of crime
😂 ☕
BUT by then they'll probably not be attractive to the genuine nice guys anymore. Getting ran through by the bad boys during her 20's, ghosting and friendzoning those nice guys, yeah, most nice guys would move on, seeking a woman who would admire them and their values BEFORE going through all the drama because drama can translate to bad baggage.
I tend to find it amusing but sad for everyone. there's a reason father's were controlling things for most of history. to keep the guys that young women delude themselves into thinking are good away. men get very indignant when there hard work and suffering is expected for someone who spent their own inheritance and wants theirs.
it's like a cripple expecting a woman to bear him children because he's a human.
order needs to be established as the bitterness from everyone is very palpable.
@@thefox47545 the problem with nice guys is they aren't "good" men who are defined by being good at being a man with kind character, nobody chooses to be a nice guy. they want to either be the good man or be the guy women complain about but can't and settle.
you can see the mask fall when the latter version talk about the wall. nobody benefits from the wall, they just take glee in reality hitting and the woman being sad
The "funny guy" trait is a bit of a tricky one because girls/women will naturally giggle around a man they are attracted to even if what he says is not funny.
whereas a less attractive guy can be saying the same things and be viewed as idiotic or creepy.
This has happened to me and I see it happening to others, and firmly believe that females of all age groups will look for reasons for an attractive man to be compatible for them while looking for reasons to disqualify men who are less attractive regardless of whether that attraction applies to looks or something else.
this is true but you cant discount the fact that there is such a thing as humor and there are people who are objectively better at it than others such that its a skill that can be improved upon to varying degrees depending on the person's intelligence/wit/social acumen.
@@williamschlass6371 Yes, some people are funnier than others. But girls really don't care about how funny you are.
being funny shows confidence . but it has to be real and natural. can't be something forced.
@@annonymous6827 Yes, they do. It's correlated with intelligence. And everyone cares about intelligence, especially when you're talking about long-term mating.
I've literally told jokes to women at the bar and nothing but crickets, 2 minutes later a better looking guy copied what I said and all of a sudden what I said is comedy gold🙄
I really appreciate how Courtney can point out less than agreeable character traits on both genders without sounding vindictive or petty.
To sum it up: be a Chad. But if you are not a Chad, be a nerd who makes money, but still be attractive.
And get some enhanced limbal rings
It's over...
Chads are not cool.
@@te9591 not if they are
Or you can just be urself :/
I have known and have been a friend with a woman for over 60 years, since we were about 5. We have phone conversations about every month or so. She tells me she likes to call me to talk about some very private and serious things and asks many times for my honest advice. She trusts me. She also said she likes me to talk to her because I make her laugh. I truly love to hear her laugh. I have always supported and encouraged her when she is in doubt. I value our friendship. Relationships can be very long lasting and can have a unique love for each other.
Not sure if this is sad or not
True about if the man will bea good father. I have just started dating this wonderful woman. One of the things she told me early on is that she's not looking for a "bad boy" or "rich man". She just wanted someone who put in effort and had their stuff together to be happy. Had me shook!
How refreshing! Good luck!
Lol dude I know right my now wife was the same way...what a mind fuck
That's a good sign, dude. If that's what you're hoping to be yourself, then it's great that you two see eye to eye about where you want this to go. A relationship that lacks this is destined to fail. Good luck man.
Take her on a date to the Dollar Store and then to Costco (the hot dogs are great!) See her reaction.
@@quinnriley237 Exactly - how old is this girl I wonder? - 28-32 hitting epiphany phase? Definitely just words. If 20-25 a bit more encouraging but still be careful.
Some women being attracted to guys with a mean mug is something I've known for quite a while. I have a naturally neutral facial expression which makes people think I'm mean, but then I smile and all of a sudden women are shocked because they assumed I was mean. Really weird but it happens.
Same.
That could be truee as I sort of had neutral facial expression in school. And still have, idk why women are drawn to about me. As I'm being honest not super good looking person in world neither is ugliest
Ur supposed to be mean mugged if ur too smiley females will see you has soft and feminine
resting mean mug
Same . I’m from nyc I gotta mean mug everyone
One thing I have noticed numerous times when talking with both men and women is that we often want something different from what we have currently. We are predisposed to wanting what we do not have. Beautiful women are used to men desiring them for their beauty, and will often seek out men who compliment other areas. Same for men who are well off financially. This can be helpful information if you understand how the last person they were with treated them, and can accentuate the opposite traits they may have been neglecting.
"I love the thickness of your ankles, and the way you pay your renter's insurance two weeks before the due date."
@@cisium1184 lol lol lol
'Want' is a synonym for 'lack' so I don't know if you can actually want something that you don't lack, if you really think about it.
Do you 'want' the clothes you're wearing? Or do you just enjoy having them?
Do you 'want' the food you just ate or are you satisfied/grateful?
I think it is a totally different experience.
I think that if we think about what we want, we are thinking about what we don't have, so I think this phenomenon of wanting we do the have is almost inevitable.
For something you already have, it is a different emotion, like appreciation, or gratitude. Which is not what people think of when they are thinking of things they want/desire, so someone who is always thinking of what they want/desire - if that is your criteria for knowing you are on the right track - is always going to be seeking the next thing that they don't have.
It's quite an art to actually appreciate what you have. It's actually a completely different type of thinking than going after what you want, so you need to train yourself into it, in my experience
they prioritize feelings and emotion, hence why they say vibe and energy. Read the unplugged alpha by richard cooper
yeah, it seems redundant to tell a beautiful women she's beautiful. she hears it all the time and you're not saying anything original that stands out. you'd be better off complimenting a unique personality trait of hers that not many people notice. but in general, keep compliments to a minimum. too much and it shows insecurity and the need to win her approval. remember, you want her trying to win your approval, not the other way around.
The facial scar thing could be a sign that the man has successfully navigated dangerous situations and come out on top, rugged look etc. Seems in line with the bad boy attraction.
i need to watch this so i know what NOT to do. i want to keep all these nutty modern women away from me
@OP yes and no. It has some of that effect but mainly in modern times it is also a unique mark. It makes you stand out. This comes from someone that does have a facial scar and does get some attention from it.
To add more to it, when guys notice it, usually they want to know the story. Women rarely ask the story, they just take note of it and in rare cases I had a woman caressing the line of it in a nureting kind of way. It's interesting the difference in reactions.
I was thinking the same thing as well, although the scar that might add to attractability is probably a superficial scar, as opposed to a debilitating/deformative scar.
Or he got attacked by an animal and ran away...or got into some kind of accident
@@yeticusrex1661 even then, there are men whom were deformed and yet got more credit/social standing due to the reasons that happened. Why there are tales or Kings and Old Soldiers missing eyes that garnered more respect due to "war wounds"
I find it attractive when a woman is comfortable being silly. I think a bit of weirdness makes things interesting. The inside jokes and laughs that you can share when you're both comfortable being silly/weird can really make a difference in my opinion.
Absolutely!
I love a silly girl. Laughter is the best medicine.
I think it's very linked to confidence and sense of humour which is for both genders I guess.
Thank you, Courtney. I appreciate your top quality presentation. It means a lot to me!
I am an older man, 58 years old now, and would appreciate more content aimed towards older guys on occasion rather than most of your posts, which in my opinion, tend to lean more towards the younger guys.
Again, thank you, Steve.
The way Courtney explained the traits made it very interesting but I did realize sth when I clicked the article link:
This article is a masterclass in media writing.
Because the crafty title, and the way they repackaged the traits throw you off and you never realize it's actually the most generic, stereotypical hot guy list:
A stoic face, a chiseled jawline, a fit muscular body, a great personality, education, a badass "battle scar"
That's literally the list.
And why as a middle aged guy without love, I find the article something that makes me angry enough to want to set fire to that article.
Pretty much.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 She left out the man that give him them battle scars 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@robertcamble3543 He could have done it to himself, stumbling in the woods.
30 something year old woman telling men that women love Chad characteristics. It's hilarious. I literally only watch this channel for the laughs.
"If you didnt want me in your prime then dont expect me to want you in your decline"......if i wasnt "good enough' for you back then then im too good for you now.
I'm free from all of that! I gave up on women in general and dating a long time ago because its all about games or self centered interests. I deal with the public on a regular basis and I find many men that I interact with are on a power or ego trip. Ugh! Why women are drawn to that says a LOT about the values of the woman!
I had to wear a mask while I was at work during covid so I stopped shaving and grew a beard underneath. I never knew I had a bit of ginger and blond in my beard as well as the usual brown and a bit of grey. People say I look totally different
I had the same experience!!
The "smug look" make sense. Every relationship I've been in the women have said "I LOVE your smile, it makes me so happy when you smile."
I think it's because normally I'm pretty neutral faced and so it creates more value on my smile.
Embracing yourself (the accomplishments, insecurities and everything in between) radiates upon people. You can just feel someone's energy. And that's sometimes what I go based on. Yeah looks are important, but it's deeper than that. A human to human connection is important. You experience that connection by embracing yourself and sharing that with others with your demeanor.
Researcher here. Courtney, your idea for the "scar study" controlling for scars being present and mate selection is spot on!
😎 thank you!
But if study is completely randomized in an experimental setting and achieved a significant result, it shouldn't make a difference
@@theseeker7692 Yes. This is true
The scar section of the study was just inane filler.
Went out with this girl last night who was quirky AF... but confident and cute (probably unbeknownst to her).... it was suuuuper endearing she was adorable.
I just want to thank you. I just recently found your channel and your videos have truly helped me. I’ve never really been in a relationship before and that is because of my insecurities and how I’ve let them rule my life for my entire teen years. Your videos on mens health videos have basically let me transition into a period in my life where I can interact with people and not have to worry so much about whether or not I’m being “perfect”, where I can just be myself and be happy about who I am. And because of that I’ve become confident and happy which unfortunately I haven’t felt in a very very long time. No amount of “thank you”s will really show how truly grateful I am for that. I’m now subscribed.
Are you going to the gym?
Stay based.
That's awesome man! Always work on ways to improve yourself... it's hard not to be confident in yourself when you know you're getting better and better every day!
I think somebody needs to start an organization to seek Justice against the boomers before the rest of them die, so they can get what's coming to them for what they did.
Well, once a man who understands women is made aware she's had the 'bad boy' run through faze, it's a wrap.
When it comes to long term dating I personally look more for whether or not someone can consistently handle my "level" of sarcasm, doesn't take themselves too seriously but does take their work seriously, ethically and morally sound, and punctual/reliable.
I have a little man inside that like to find and push their buttons to see how they react!
@@Capohanf1 I read that humans evolved to act out childlike behavior (like that of a two year old, positive and negative behavior) in order to simultaneously test the partner's ability to raise a child and to prepare the partner to raise a child. (how well one does in these "tests" , apparently affects romantic attraction).
I also read that behavioral traits are in great part genetic, and the genetic influence is strongest as a toddler. The nurture portion of influence on behavioral traits is strongest during adolescence, after which nurture's influence on behavioral traits decline as people age (people very slowly return toward becoming a toddler again, as they age).
So to me, finding out what kind of toddler that person was (behaviorally), is something I took into account while contemplating commitment.
It might be a coincidence, but I've dodged bullets this way, and I got very lucky finding my wife.
So when my wife sometimes acts out a bit, I just view it as tests being conducted by her biology (and not her), and respond accordingly. I view it as dealing with two seperate entities occupying the same mind and body, who are in disagreement about what they really want and their goals. Her and her biology (her inner 2 year old) .
The beard thing is true. I used to keep it short and I don’t have a strong jaw line or chin, but when I let it grow out and keep it trimmed I’ve gotten more complements and attention from that than any other aspect of my appearance.
(Also I’m not gonna lie I can grow an epic beard)
Even straight men will compliment you on a nice, full beard - even if you don't do anything with it but let it grow wild.
These are all qualities of a high level man. A man that is fit, capable, interesting and has his finances right. Awesome video again Lana Rhodes sister
😂😂😂😂
Bruh 😂😂💀
These things are all bogus fellas. Get your financial situation in order, take care of yourself physically and mentally and you won't have issues attracting women. You want to be in control of the situation. The last thing you want is to be chosen by a woman approaching/in her 30s, who is choosing you because you won't run around on her. An attractive woman dates less appealing men because she knows they won't leave! She knows that she's the best you'll probably get, and that you most likely don't have as many options as her. If you have your life put together, you have the options. A successful man will always have options! Good luck gents.
I have not read all the comments below, but in case is was NOT mentioned, a women's VOICE can be very appealing. I would assume to some women that a guys voice can be a turn on as well. In your case, that's one reason I like your videos. You have a very feminine voice that is an instant attractant.
another one that goes along with posture and jaw and power is 'taking up space' the person who takes up space is perceived as controling their environment and is seen as dominant
and the scar would theoretically be similar to a tatoo, successfully navigating a traumatic life experience
Dilated pupils can mean sexual arousal, or anger, or fear - pupils dilate with the 'fight or flight' response. In a romantic setting, of course, it means arousal. The traits you are talking about that make men attractive to women aren't 'weird' at all. A scar on the face suggests that the man isn't afraid of a fight and has been in combat, and obviously came through (mostly) intact. That means power.
Women attracted to "bad boys" is a sign of how immature they are.
Eeeew. Let he bad boy and her have each other.
I was so immature until about 30, once I grew up and got my shit together I seemed to be much much more attractive to women and had way better luck despite being way less physically good looking than my early and mid 20s (im tall, and I WAS in good shape lean muscles 6 pack swimmer type body...no longer have this uh body shape)...but growing up and being a better likeable mature and confident man went way further for me with girls
In grad school, on more than one occasion, I have had women ask about the scar on my face. On one such occasion, a woman's opening line was "how did you get that scar? Were you in a fight? Did you have to defend yourself from an attack?" She was really looking for a juicy story behind my scar.
Just smile to her and say "you should see the other guy"
I think the biggest problem with a study like this is women were asked questions and have their responses. This happened with their logical mind engaged.
But, what they respond to, what they are truly attracted to, can be very different. What they said in logic mode can be far off base to what they are actually attracted to in person.
Women are mostly attracted the positive emotions they feel when they are around a guy that makes them feel that way. That’s why they have two minds. The one engaged in logic, and the emotional one which is where attraction comes from. This questionnaire study disregards these truths.
All of this boils down to common sense. Take care of yourself and you’ll attract the right one. Love the channel thanks Court.
Or you'll put in tons of work on yourself just to get turned down for a violent felon of a good looking bum
do animals ''take care'' of themselves in the same manner to attract mates?
what do you mean specificly by taking care? going to the gym and eating healthy?
In nature, males often have to do more to attract females than vice versa. why is that?
@@smashmusique They have brainwashed modern women into believing they don't need to put in work and are already perfect while preaching the opposite to men. Divide and Conquer.
Courtney is such an honest woman, a great example, she should make videos for women on "how to be a woman of high value"
A thing that women do that I find really attractive is, being innocent. I'm not talking in an ironic way, where there is a sexual undertone, I'm talking actually being meek, having good will towards people, and being generally resistant to degenerate mainstream culture. Low body count, high empathy, mild temperament, and being original and expressing their true passions with transparent glee.
your comments on character are dead on, so many women i talked to married when young and as they got older they wanted out of the relationship because of clashes in
character. being on a few dating sites its is amazing how many women are divorced in their 50as and want everything under the sun but dont expect to offer much in return.
The scar thing is from the hunter/gatherer era.
A man with a scar is a man who won a fight to the death against a cave bear or some other human. He is clearly able to defend himself, thus he will be able to defend a woman and their offspring.
The scar on face thing is irrelevant as its less than 1% of males give it a rest
I like Courtney's science based lectures. The most is CHARACTER and health.
9:12
'Reliability, responsibility, accountability'
Yes we seek out in a partner what we lack ourselves.
😉
I think it is more "after ten years of dating bad boys and fewer and fewer options because attraction lowered with the years suddenly reliability, responsibility and accountability are important". Thank you girls, we love to be an option, after your best years are over.
Makes a lot of sense actually
Courtney i love how you can speak on your toes with a modulated voice. Its amazing honestly.
thanks for giving me confidence been watching your videos lately. I had just got out of a 6 year relationship because of my epilepsy. I'm still sad but your videos motivate me to keep learning my new skill and do my best. Again Thanks!
Keep going king 👑! Don’t stop 🛑
@@roolyfe Thank you sir 🙏
Wait... she left you because you're epileptic and have seizures?
Wow...
Karma will be unkind to her. Let's hope her future husband doesn't leavenher when she has breast cancer
I have two facial scars, one on my eye brow and one on my cheek. The eye brow scar is always visible, but the scar in my beard is only visible when I'm growing a beard. Lady's eyes light up when they find out the patchy spot in my beard is actually a scar.
Micro needle
Hey Courtney, more on the 'bad boy' sort of man. There's something known as the dark triad personality which women have found statistically most attractive in men and also the correlation between the dark triad and the age of women. I would highly recommend reading up on the paper 'The Dark Triad personality: Attractiveness to women' by G.L Carter for more information
I don't look at beauty on the outside but the inside her personality and I believe that is important in a woman for me.
Hello Courtney: In earlier times in Europe, women would take a drug to called nightshade to enlarge the size of their pupils. Another name of that drug was "belladonna", ie "beautiful lady". It was also dangerous. Stay well and safe.
Your comment hit the hammer on the head.😎👍 Plus the nightshade is also in the same family as tomatoes. ^_^
@@ragingjaguarknight86 Thank you. Have a lovely day.
@@ragingjaguarknight86,
Tomatoes, potatoes, egg plant, and tobacco are in the nightshade family along with several weeds.
@@alexanderlapp5048 cool so the " tomacco" in that one simpsons episode might actually be possible. O_o
@@ragingjaguarknight86,
I have read that tomatoes leaves contain nicotine, but I imagine they would make a terrible tobacco substitute. 🤢 I don't smoke, but I really like the smell of tobacco when it is not burning. Tomato leaves not so much.
Now a tobacco plant that grows delicious tomatoes might be really nice.
Courtney makes a good point about women not caring about "character" when they are young, but switching gears when they get older. The problem for those women is it's often too late. We guys want the young ones. The shelf life for women is short. I'm sorry that sounds cruel, but it's true. Why would we come running for an older woman who has suddenly decided she cares about character and has wasted her best years on jerks? This is why you hear women 30+ complain: "How come there are no nice guys?"
I have heard multiple times before that according to research a happy face is not attractive for a man. This hurts me deeply and makes me feel very insecure because i often have the expression of a happy boy with big eyes and raised eyebrows (I also work in the catering industry where you are supposed to be hospitable). I thought this was a good feature, attractive and desirable, but nothing i am or do seems good enough anymore for women. I refuse to be mean to everyone with an arrogant face. That is not a life i want to live and goes against everything my parents tought me. I am a kind, attractive, intelligent, creative, caring man with nothing but good intentions, a desire for a meaningfull longterm relationship, starting a family, real genuine intimacy, good social skills and working hard on myself for alot of years already now. If women around my attractiveness level expect me to lie to them, create drama to entertain them and act like a completely different person, i choose to be alone.
@Raven Carlton Thank you for your kind reply, sometimes my youtube algorythm is a bit overwhelming and i freak out abit.
You must understand that just means majority of women under 30 won't like you off the cap. Women over 50 appreciate smiling men more. Women go through a ton of phases during life on average they have atleast 7 or 8 phases and we only have 3 or 4 and this is in an 80 year life span.
You must understand that just means majority of women under 30 won't like you off the cap. Women over 50 appreciate smiling men more. Women go through a ton of phases during life on average they have atleast 7 or 8 phases and we only have 3 or 4 and this is in an 80 year life span.
Just be your authentic self Tom. You should be wanting someone who wants you, not a curated fake version of you. If ur not a total recluse you’ll find her - or she’ll find you. Best to you.
In relation to the scar thing : I've read studies that women associate a scar with me masculinity and toughness.
Yeah the eyes is definitely a thing because even though I'm under 6 ft, when I'm on dating apps women 90% of the time that initiated conversation with complimenting my eyes, even if it's just the words "those eyes"
What color are they
Colored eyes??
Things that women find attractive in a man:
1. Kind eyes*
2. Mean eyes*
3. Beards*
4. Clean shaven*
5. Funny*
6. Stoic*
7. Breathing*
8. Not breathing*
* Only counts if she already thinks you're good looking, otherwise you're just creepy
A well-groomed beard does work, for me anyway. I started growing one in February it grew in a little oddly; I have dark brown hair, but my beard grew in a white gray, and its garnered more smiles from the ladies then I’ve ever had in my life.
Something I found out recently about women, is how you walk is important, an old man's shuffle is the worst thing you can have; women don't want any part of you if you have one of those.
I think men wandering around with broad smiles on their faces or grinning inanely would look pretty mentally bewildered.
Yes definitely about personality and we do have to put our best foot forward to her and my thing is what I seek in woman is her inner beauty and confidence
RE: the bad boy thing. I wonder if thats another or at least secondary negative effect of dating apps. Dating apps give girls a constant supply of bad boys so it takes way longer to get fed up/run out of bad boys before giving a decent guy a shot because theres always another bad boy that "will be different this time".
Interesting thought for sure...like the market for the bad boy has become inflated...they used to be someone that you didn't see in day to day
No. Woman always love bad boys. Read some books. Even 3000 years a go woman like bad boys
It takes some women a loooooong time to realize they're choosing poor quality men. My sister, for example, all the way into her 40's with a string of bad boys, because the good guys were too boring for her. Well, the last one finally pushed her over the edge, and now she thinks all men are terrible and doesn't want to date at all. 🤦♂
@13:33 I disagree with the part where you talk about how if someone doesn't want a commitment, they don't value things or are not husband/wifey material.
The reason I disagree is because I personally know many people that value many aspects of a relationship even if it doesn't fit your ideal perspective of a relationship, and those people have added value in many ways to their "open relationship" or "FWB" or "what ever their dating goals are" etc.
Just because someone doesn't want a commitment, doesn't make them a bad boy or bad girl. It's not that black and white. There are many reasons of course.
I do appreciate your positivity and your attempt to make these complicated topics as transparent as possible.
Courtney, according to Tom Leykis advice is to treat woman like crap and dirty. He said women love it. The more you're nice to her and be there for her she'll have less respect for you. What are your thoughts on Tom?
haha, good luck getting a women who has self respect, intelligence and will make a good spouse listening to Tom Leykis, also that dude looks like a cave troll.
I think if you go down that road it won't work out. In the short term, sure but if you treat anyone like crap for long enough, that shit will come back on you x 1000. A wicked person eventually gets theirs
I have a scar to the side of my eye from acne and sometimes people think it's a tattoo and women always ask me about it. One thought it was a tear drop lol
The one about facial scars immediately reminded me of a moment from The Simpsons. One of the very early seasons. Bart was talking to a daredevil motorcycle stunt jumper (Lance Murdock). Anyway, the stunt guy says to Bart, "pain is temporary, bones heal, and chicks dig scars." Completely true on all counts. And let's face it, scars tend to imply a bit of danger (or dangerous activity), and we all know chicks dig the bad boy, the dangerous boy.
Great Topic Courtney...So what guys really need is for women(never gonna happen) to wear, like a fit-bit, Hormone Indicator, we can see from a distance. All those beautiful hormones that are raging under her beautiful appearance. The one with the most activity is the one you might be cautious of, or not. We're all under the influence of our hormones...fact. Have Fun.🐬
Seriously for the 7 traits to be noticed, you have to be default attractive in the women’s eyes. How would the trusts even work if you’re INVISIBLE to them…
The phenomenon of men not getting responses online but getting dates, or being in relationships with women they meet in real life applies to me.
It's two very different ballgames.
@@richardthomas598 i agree
Courtney, you are refreshingly honest.
My optometrist said no one should use non-prescription eye drops more than twice a year…
🫣
i think that must depend on where you live.
🛑FYI: Lumify (brimonidine) is a prescription drug (at least here in Canada)! It shouldn't be used without consulting since it is used to treat glocoma. It does that by constricting blood vessels (which is why your eyes look whiter), thus reducing the pressure inside the eye (protecting your retina in the process). It is NOT healthy to use that product if you don't absolutely need it. I just wanted to put that out there because using prescription drugs just to make yourself look better is a really bad decision healthwise.
I love men with facial scars. There is something very sexy about it. Every scar has a story, and it makes a man look more rugged and tough, and therefore more masculine. That is a huge plus for me, together with a fit body (not perfect, but well maintained), and good character is imperative. Bad boys are so over-rated, and so not worth it. A good man is nowadays a gem.
Great vid! Also fellas, being a “bad boy”doesn’t always equate to being a scumbag lol. If you are confident, successful (or driven), and prioritize yourself (rather than caving for every girl) it has the same effect as a being a “bad boy”. It will make most women and people gravitate toward you without you being an awful person lmao
Her using the phrase bad boy with the comment "treating you like crap" carried some intellectual dishonesty with it.
It's a hard line to walk honestly and if you're black being a bad boy means being the scum of the earth and they won't want you long term. The stuff that's imposed on us is impossible to actually do in reality.
*These insights are easy to apply and can help anyone build stronger, more magnetic connections.*
My eyes are the most white after taking a cold shower. It really is amazing how bright they get. No eyedrops necessary.
Good to know. I’m going to try this!
Constricted capillaries .
@@dobermanownerforlife3902 yes! Those were the words I was looking for!
1. 6 Pack/Wallet
3. House
4. Car
5. The last movie they were in
6. I'm not saying it
7. Emotional Intelligence
Money
You missed #2.
As a guy seeking marriage, that pretty much means the minority of the female population are left for me to find. You know what the ROOT PROBLEM is with relationships in the USA? The masses have forgotten what marriage is, and for those who are at least a little bit interested, what they think about marriage is mostly wrong.
Example: most things in that article have to do with "how can she give me what I want? how can he give me what I want?" The essence of marriage is SELFLESSNESS, TWO UNIQUE PEOPLE SACRIFICING EVERYTHING THEY WERE, TO MARRY AND FORM ONE NEW UNIQUE ENTITY THAT DIDN'T EXIST.
My dating advice - just be yourself. If you're naturally funny then be funny, if you're naturally mean and moody be that, if you are geeky be geeky, if you're a bookish, thoughtful, reflective type then be that. If you are naturally confident then sit tall with jawline protruding, but don't do it if it doesn't accord naturally with your personality. One can act a part for a date (although most people cannot do it convincingly) but one cannot keep that act up indefinitely and be something you are not. Don't over analyze yourself. You are you and your history, genes, culture, experiences have made you what you are. If she likes you, you won't be able to do much wrong, and if she doesn't like you then whatever you do won't matter because her mind is already made up.
Wow, it's amazing to hear someone else acknowledge the "will they be a good parent?"
That's basically the first deal-breaker I ever look for when looking at women. If they can be a reliable parent. I'd take a strong mama-bear over anyone who'd just panic or cry. I always date women who'll be good mothers. If I can't trust her with a kid, I won't date her.
One thing that was not mentioned is how you behave when you are in a group, that is, how you behave around your friends for example (all your good or bad features are literally in front of her and that can decide how she feels about you.)
And yep, personality (being funny) is the number one thing that makes you attractive to girls. If you crack a good joke in front of her, be sure that she will see you differently.
This is literally what ended my only ever relationship. I was nervous and felt inferior in front of her friends during a party. That was the death knell.
@@BB-te8tc that's too bad! But you are not inferior to anyone. Remember that. Just work on your confidence and relax and be yourself. People can be intimidating at times. But take it as a game and keep playing!
@@kylev5602 maybe you just need to read the group better and see where you can fit! Maybe your dry remarks can be well received to to tone down the loudness of others! All personalities are valuable in a group, believe me.
@@kylev5602 Play to your strengths. Get away from the whole group. Cut the ones you are comfortable with, maybe Three or four, out of the herd. Then just be yourself. 😊
So I am scarred up, decently on my body, particularly in my extremities. And I knew a girl one time was very hard, but she loved studying my scars. This was back in high school and I’m pretty sure this girl had a crush on me, however, I was a senior, and she was a freshman, and I wasn’t about to date no freshman. But it’s almost for the same reason as Man will respect a man with many scars on his body and face that women find scars attractive. It’s a sign of battles with one and fight, it’s the mark of a survivor. And depending on your demeanor, you may not just be surviving, you may be thriving.
Using flattery to get what you want isn't a bad boy trait, it's a trait of a narcissist
No it's not. Literally everyone uses flattery to grease the wheel on occasion. It's human nature to play to the need for validation for a variety of reasons, such as when you've found yourself in the dog house or you want to butter her up for something.
@@Swearengen1980 the one trait I hate! And never given a fuck flattering for anybody!
@@Swearengen1980 “it’s human nature to murder”
@@starstray4326 Yes it is. Ignoring the subjectivity of what is "good" or "evil", I contend that everyone is born "evil". You have to teach a child to share, not bite, what's right or wrong, etc. Human nature is inherently "evil" by societal standards.
It's like a method. Like when you have to babysit and keep a kid occupied with funny, playful silly joking to keep em' entertained for ex.
Coming from someone who did have a facial scar (before many surgeries) after a random knife attack, trust me….it’s not a conversation starter. If someone asked it ruined my day having to remember that day.
U know your content is really growing on me thank you for putting a smile on my face courtney which i really need in these times😊😊😁😁😁
One problem I struggle with a lot is knowing where on my neck my beard should stop. So, I just keep my clean shaven. I can grow facial hair but I just do not know where that facial hair should stop.
And, I absolutely love women who wear glasses. The glasses that have the thick black plastic frames that Jennifer Aniston wears most the time. I also have to wear glasses too. But, most of the time when leaving the house I wear my contacts. I only wear my glasses at home.
It should stop where your neck ends lol
1.Money
2. Money
3. Money
4.Money
5. Money
6. Money
7. Money.
There , saved you from having to watch this.
I have a strong jawline at the right weight, and I am headed that direction now, but what really gets them is my smile and the width of my shoulders. Once they first meet me, a good button up worn casually, and rolled sleeves works well (if you have good forearms), and what carry's the day though is my sense of humor and flirting. Men, it rarely matters how good you look if you aren't comfortable enough to talk to these women. They aren't really that different from you, so don't be afraid of them. You are probably naturally funny with the guys, right? If you are with the right girl, most of that sense of humor applies just as well if not BETTER.
I have said this before about your content and will say it again. I think what you are doing is wonderful and appreciate what you have to say. I will say that since I do have a facial scar I do notice that it has definitely made it easier to approach or even have regular interactions with the opposite sex
Sense of humor is important I think for the underlying presumption beneath it. That is, that the man's not sufficiently stressed about anything (including about HER behavior), that he can devote mental resources to having fun and enjoying himself.
Not being stressed about her behavior - realistic or not - suggests compatible personalities and goals.
I've got a good sense of humor, but not when my girlfriend's engaging in behavior I see as detrimental to herself, our relationship, to others, or to me. In this respect intelligence can be a relationship killer.
Nice channel 🙂. Do you or anyone else have tips on average normal minorities? I’m not 6”+ and white and all my female friends love that look and they (white guys) kill it with very easy effort. Happy for tips on improving attractiveness or dating while a 5,10” black without being either overlooked, undesirable, or seen as “dangerous “. Does same general advise apply or being 100% honest are there be some differences that minority men need to face up to?
number one tip is to not be insecure in your image my dude. I've known guys who blow it to the extent that they clearly had someone who was into them, but brushed it off because "clearly they aren't attracted to my xyz..." Hell, that was me in my younger and mid 20's.
2 things together completely upped my confidence in impenetrable ways. those were therapy, and pursuing hard physical activities. things like hiking, and especially lifting in the gym. Accomplishing those hard tasks that previously seemed insurmountable just builds your confidence in unshakable ways. Took me between 2-5 years depending on how you look at it, but I started doing multi day hikes in 2017, started therapy in 2020, and started lifting in December last year. I would say that it wasn't until spring of this year that my confidence was unbreakable. I'm a 5'7" bald red headed white guy with freckles. started balding in my teens... in June a woman asked ME out, and we dated for 4 months. and unlike one previous similar situation, it didn't break me. I have more things going on in life than just the dating aspect, and many of those are more important to me than any potential relationship.
In short, stop fretting over things you can't control. Things like your height, and your skin color. You don't want some shallow racist girl around anyways. Focus on you, and making yourself a better man. Not a better man for women, but a better man for yourself.
@@pap4539 Confidence comes with success. One can't just decide to be confident. Brave, okay. Confidence takes time
@@NickM_FirstofHisName One can decide to be brave and take on tough tasks that build confidence though. therapy is tough. progressing in the gym is tough. getting out of your own way in any pursuit is tough, especially at the onset. its deciding to take the road to be better that will lead to confidence after you've attained some progress along that road. and its never ending path.
I know this sounds mad but when I take pictures with multiple different Women and post it onto social media, I get tons of girls who have never liked my pics end up starting to like my pics and jump into my DMs.
This isnt even a lie. There were two girls who rejected me in my early 20s. I still got them on Instagram and ever since they saw me hang out with multiple different Women, they have started liking my pics. One of the Girls who rejected me actually messaged me to check up on me. We spoke then I brought up the time I told Her when I fancied Her. I swear to God She asked me if I still fancied Her and I told Her no. She had Her chance back in the day.
Hey Courtney! You should create a singles event--invite the guys who watch your videos (and live in the local area) and the girls who are thinking, "I can't find great guys around here. Maybe Courtney could help."
@@quinnriley237 Those women would look at Courtney's trophy fiance and wonder "Where can I find a GQ model?"
It would never work out. To even think of this shows childlike naivety.
Related to online dating:
Cameras in smartphones got a really small sensor (most people use those cameras), which warps the picure somewhat. A picture isn't representative of real life.
I kept promises, she called me gracful kind and caring… and I workout and she still left me ehh
Thx for another great insight and vid on everything for us men Courtney! I totally agree with the facial hair. I’m much more confident and happy with it around girls 100% vs in my early 20’s I never wanted facial hair. But now it’s a 180 at 29
The two things I’ve always been self-conscious about are the two things girls have told me they like best about me.
I get the ‘eyes’ a lot. Bad pun, I know. I never noticed I had blue rings around my brown eyes (not due to vitamin deficiency, it’s a hereditary trait in my family. I asked my Mum after) until a girl pointed it out to me. I’ve had a squint since childhood which I’ve always been embarrassed about.
I’ve been complimented on my smile a lot too. I never liked my smile before that. Colour me pleasantly surprised.
16:20 well more than that even... how do you humbly convey such a thing online? I have hard to break habits of charm, but those don't come through easily online. I'm not going to just walk down the list of good traits and claim them as my own because they'll reflect nicely on me for the opposite sex.
Along with being attractive to some woman something more important is- Do you live a life that a woman would want to be part of? This is why the stereotype of a "neckbeard" playing video games all day in mom's basement is a non-starter for attracting women. What's in that life for her? Unfortunately, that requirement rules out a lot of other men's lives too. Tik tok and Facebook have raised the bar on the kind of life women are told to expect. You need money so you can entertain her with dinners, concerts, travel, pro sports events, etc. You need to be constantly not striving, but actually winning, in a "surpass the Jones's" kind of life, where the world just falls in your lap. Most of us can't fill that bill of goods. I work. I play golf. I fish. I hunt. I lift. I run. I've made enough money that I want for nothing. But the number of women who are going to be attracted my life would fit in the eye of a needle. And that small number may not be anywhere near my vicinity. You can be doing really well and still be a next to impossible to match. I would have to take on a lot of things I don't enjoy and can't make myself care about, to be more "mainstream" and appeal to a wider swathe of women. In other words, "it would help me a lot if I were in fact somebody else."
Neckbeard.
I'm gonna steal that one. Thanks in advance.
People need to stop trying to play attraction as a rule book or a list to follow. It doesn't work that way, and no relationship is going to last this way.
The Scar thing is interesting. So sometimes I get attention due to the scar that subtly breaks my eyebrow. It only gets noticed when I am in close conversational distance. Those of any gender notice it, but I get more reciprocal flattery back from women when they notice it. In my case since I am in a happy somewhat open polyamerous relationship i typically am not looking for other partners. It does feel nice to get noticed for it sometimes. I am not self-conscious of it, but I don't particularly like the scar.
Is it possible to get a very old scar removed
@@kevinsamson1693 If it caused me actual discomfort or dysphoria I would consider it. It's more of it makes me more noticeable and I think nothing of it.
With respect to eye pupil: Photographers and especially portrait are very much aware of the pupil and the message it conveys. A dim modeling light is used to be able to see how the light falls upon the face and as such, the pupil is wider; when the shutter is released, the brighter flash light goes off to capture the image, but as the eye cannot respond so quickly, it is recorded as larger, thereby rendering a more attractive "look" of the model.
The body language (exuded) of pride, exemplified through posture and jaw line. Mind creates body as body creates mind. Much like assuming Alpha position will alter mood. I find how women gesture and or articulate their hands and wrists is highly attractive. It shows a certain refinement to or of their personality. Of course exclusive to a type of woman I would specifically prefer. As per what am I attracted to and why. These “signs” or body language are hallmark and the visual pheromones of allure ❤.
You are a very feminine lady with lots of confidence. Not only that, you have a good foundation of sound moral standards that's why men who think straight and thinks right like to listen and learn from you! Please keep it up. (Btw, I've recommended some of your videos to my son's of college level. Maybe they've subscribed to your channel already.)
As an axe murderer, this gives me hope. I have fucking class limbal ring XD
I’m an axe murderer too. Long hours