Exactly! They Should Just do Homeschooling Which is Less Pressure than School, and it would still be EXACTLY the same. Except the Kids have more RECOURSES to make their own decisions when they start getting older. Not 13 and JUST learning how to Read. The Parents are Making the Decisions off THEIR EXPERIENCES, and they got to Choose and Learn What they did and didn't want to do. Their Children Deserve that As Well. Not "this didn't work for me, and wasn't good for me, so my children can't either" When they're Older She will Surely See the Reality of what she's doing.
I definitely agree that it is neglect because he needs help, but from the Clips shown of him Trying to read and also how he speak into his phone. I am almost 100% certain he has dyslexia, I have dyslexia, and I do exactly what he does, but I had an amazing tutor, who helped me be able to read and write when I need to (if you don’t know what dyslexia is, it’s a neurological disorder where reading and writing and math is very difficult, but unfortunately, it is not fully understood by professionals)
Besides the reading and writing I think this is great. But yes i agree, there should be more priority on basic skills like that. Freedom and discipline are equally important. They give each other contrast.
I was struck by a bit of hypocrisy: they said they supported what their kids want to do but then laid an emotional guilt trip on them for wanting to try school and making fun of them when they got home. Calling them aliens and asking them if they smelled different. That's not support, that sent a very clear message that you are now no longer one of us. That's shameful.
Yeah you can tell they're total hypocrites. They decide not to teach them anything academic but teach them how to start fires and build fences... that's obviously showing bias and influencing what they then do.
How to raise selfish, self egoists, with no understanding of boundaries. Hey "mom" your client is paying you for a service-not to take care of your kids and give an interview.
@@vanessakimoli6281 Unless they can teach themselves boundaries they'll have a hard time is all I'm saying. This isn't a whole generation being raised like this, it's a very small number of kids and they'll suffer for their parents' neglect.
@@kennedyhuff Valid point.I guess as they grow older they may change the way they live rn because they'll all probably want different things in life.They're all around 9 so they may change their minds on going to school later on.
@@AbcAbc-nv9kz well he's gonna have to learn thing at some point of his life , school's zombie treatment gives you the knowledge to thrive. Money is everything in today's life agree or disagree , You're writing this comment on a full belly , Not for them . Jobs in the UK are underpaid for the unskilled . So when he doesn't have enough to buy to fill himself up , he'll steal murder and why I say so is they don't know No as an answer to everything . So basically Zombies who don't murder , rape , steal and just do what they want is way better than anyone who is without a boundary.
@@GauravSingh-vt9pg Highschool graduation is not enough for a job. Which means highschool failed at giving peole skills. Parents can teach you reading writing and arithmetic. Other than that, people need to turn their talents into solutions for basic income. A certification is necessary for technical fields. Other than that, people just need saving and investing skills. The only reason people work is to pay off debts. So higher education should be done around 30. So you can live debt free in your 20s and just save and invest.
"I don't care if she ever learns to read or write as long as she's happy." Your role as a parent it to prepare your child for adulthood. You're setting your kids up for failure. The real world is going to hit them like a ton of bricks.
Seriously what jobs can they get if they can’t even read or write? Ok they can learn to cut hair from their mom but can they count and do math? Mom says this kind of style is 80 dollars and they gave me a lot of bills, that’s more enough right? Little do they know it’s like only 40 in one and five dollar bills so it looks like a a lot. If they decided themselves to go back to school they would be so many grades behind for their age and that could be what makes them to quit before they even started. They get so many great teachers who can get them interested in music, art, history, writing etc. these kids won’t be able to get into college and feel like they’re missed out on a big experience. I hope the son and daughter who wants to go to school and have rules does good at school and catches up, maybe the other kids will see all they get to do and want to do it too. Edit. Oh no they don’t do school because of the rules and schedule! And probably because of their parents and siblings making fun of them for it, so much for the “supportive and accepting” they say they have with their kids. And school isn’t just important for education but also for interacting with other kids and learn valuable social skills and experiences. Kids having rules and structure is also very important, I would’ve liked having more of it growing up. How are these kids gunna be able to support themselves or survive on their own? Their parents won’t outlive them The parents have like brainwashed them that when they played with other kids they ended up just Interrogating them about the rules they have with their parents like bedtime. They said they wouldn’t hang out with them because they’re weird and have “too many rules”. What lil kid thinks like that?! I had friends with more stricter parents then mine and didn’t judge them for it and actually liked their parents and home life.
I grew up like this. It's on par with neglect because what it really means is the parents have little interaction with a child. And I am still suffering, in multiple ways (as are my siblings) at 38 years of age. Absolutely abhorrent.
My ex grew up in a home exactly like these homes. He was never told no & he was given free reign to do whatever he pleased. He was taken out of school after he screamed & cussed out teachers. He was violent & abusive bc he didn’t like the word “no.” This is not a way to raise children. It’s laziness.
Live whould be just more easy if you let your kids do what they want..if i just let my kids sit all day and watched youtube i would never be tired or have a messy house... its just easy parenting and not care about the kids future.
I think she meant that they don't need to learn to read or write at that age, they definitely need to but age doesn't rlly matter so long as they can learn before age 10 at least
Maybe the parents want the kids to stay at the same literacy level as they are . Or the parents probably did not have a good experience when they went to school (they should realize thought that it does not have to be the same for their kids ). How would the kids know how it is???? Or at least, if they they go to a regular school, they should at least be home schooled.
The mother alienated the kids when they returned from school. This would make any child uncomfortable. There will always be consequence to bad behavior. I would rather not see my child behind bars.
Boundaries is an act of love and children flourish because of it. It’s those boundaries (such as eating a nutritious home cooked meal as opposed to eating ice cream for dinner at midnight) that sends the message that the parents cares for and loves their children. Anything less is just pure selfishness and laziness.
There's a difference between homeschooling and just ignoring your children's social and academic development. They are limiting their children's choices. More education means more choices. There are thousands of opportunities and careers they will never be able to aim for, but wow they can eat what they want. My heart aches for the son who wants school.
Exactly! I wanted to shake that mom when she said "I don't want her to work in an office!" Well mom, it's not YOUR choice. What if the child DOES want to work in an office one day but can't because her parents were lazy? It's sad.
I'm guessing the boy who DOES want order & schooling will do well for himself. But he'll have all the others saying he's "snobby" while constantly trying to bum off him. That's what my 1st husband & several of his brothers did to the hard-working brother who saved his money & was responsible.
I can't believe Jenna took her eldest out of school because he was struggling to read and write, then never taught him how. "If I need to write anything I'll just say it into my phone." Sorry, kid, life isn't that easy, and your mother has failed you.
@@carochan86 I thought the same thing. She mentioned how she didn't like how the school handled the situation but didn't say details. It's certainly possible they suggest he may need to be tested and the parents didn't like that idea
He probably has dyslexia hopefully he gets the proper help that he needs because he may say it doesn't matter but I bet it dose to him more then he wants ppl to know. He was very asheemed when he forgot the L in club... But that's dyslexia for ya 🙃
I was raised similar to this, and I grew up with a great amount of self-confidence. The problem began when I entered adulthood and the real world, and didn't know how to clean house, be organized, or hold my tongue. This actually caused me alot of real difficulties as an adult and left me opposite of self-confident , but insecure. You must teach your children right from wrong. They're going to look at you one day and ask you why you didn't... and they will not raise their kids the same way that will be the telltale sign if you were right to raise them this way.
I grew up with friends that had parents like this. I use to think "Oh they are so lucky! As an adult now. I am so thankful my parents were open minded, let me express myself BUT did have boundaries and rules. The family I knew had 11 kids. 3 were killed in a car wreck when they took the parents car out one night, 5 of them have been in and out of jail, 1 is in prison for 25yrs to life and 2 turned out decent and have their own kids, and those kids have rules & boundaries!!
Just reading how those kids turned out let me know how terribly this parenting style is. Granted that is anecdotal and it’s only one set of kids but I think that would be the case for most kids in a scenario like this.
I know a family of home schooled kids they all loved books because their mom let them read freely and encouraged them to read without forcing them. They are/were all home schooled, total freedom, The two oldest a went to NYU and Yale. The younger ones still teens, taught themselves computer coding and the youngest builds guitar amplifiers at age 9. So sometimes it really works out for the best with no rules.
People who were never taught to respect other people's boundaries are a nightmare to deal with. They're unable to maintain relationships and can even become controlling and abusive. This level of neglect is scary.
It's come to the point that kids and teenagers start bothering and harassing adults for fun. I've experienced this myself over and over again, and the parents just keep watching or even laughing about this.
I find it disheartening how the one mother kept making comments about her two children that wanted to try out school.Calling them aliens, asking if they smelled different etc. It seemed like she was trying to guilt and shame them out of wanting to go to school rather than respecting and supporting their decisions about their education.
Scrolling through after writing my comment and we literally have said the same thing. I honestly didn’t see your comment before I wrote mine. That stood out for me too, regarding the Mom.
What you said about the comments "aliens" & "smelling different", really changed the kids mind about school. ...I'm pretty sure other comments were made too to the kids. Just Not heard on camera. Kids need structure and discipline!!! When that baby grabbed the knife, my heart skipped a beat & the mother just laughed & said "being safe". That was so Not Parenting right then!!! I felt bad for Archie being taken out of school at 7yrs old, & now at 13yrs old couldn't read or write. ...Thank you to his grandfather for stepping up to help his grandson. ...& just when Archie is making good progress, the mother wants to go on a vacation & interrupt Archie's learning. Her father was Not Happy!!! ...Archie is an Awesome kid, but his grandfather was right...Archie Does Need to hangout with some friends.
Very "you can do whatever you want as long as what you want doesn't conflict with what I think you should want." Freedom but only how I think it should be. Definitely sabotaged the school trial.
Yeah, it was pretty gross. Odd that she would say earlier that she wanted them to have freedom to choose, and then they tried to choose for themselves she made them feel like shit.
I’ve known several families that raised children this way. Now the kids are 25+, still living at home and have severe depression. Ironic, since happiness was the goal
100% agree w you. I was raised with my 8 siblings in a home with no rules. I begged to go to school and fought to go to university. I then became my family's wallet and not a person. My brother is 25 and can't read. It's been years since we've seen each ova but all of my siblings have never worked and don't even have bank acc. They all live at home and are on the government benefit. It's not right, I tell everyone please don't do this to your kids, happy stops when you realise at 18 you can't spell your own name.
I tell you guys, Finlay is gonna be huge. He sound so matured. He has plans for his future and he's aiming for an organized lifestyle. He also understands the importance of rules more than his parents. His mindset for a 12 year old is surprising, I can see a bright future ahead of him. Finlay is like that one protagonist in a movie who is born in a wrong family hahahah I just love how different he is from his family.
Well but all of this maturity comes from growing up and learning with their parents lifestyle, he wasn't born in the wrong family, he's just being able to grow up and be himself
For a kid whos given "freedom" and no rules, Findlay is really exceptional for WANTING to be clean and tidy, WANTING to go to school and do school work. Wishing him all the best
Because school can be fun. Especially at a young age you get to play with people other than your siblings you get to learn and pick your career instead of doing whatever get ps money
At the end of the video, he and his sister that tried out school decided not to go. They'd be brilliant with parents with structure, but because of the freedom at home, in the end they preferred not to go to school, and therefore their potential more than likely will not be realized, which is such a shame.
I can't imagine a parent not caring about their child not being able to read and write. Just blows my mind. I'm in agreement with Granddad...at least a tutor for reading and writing. I have a feeling that those kids will resent the parents one day. And it is lazy parenting. I'd hate to see how they act when they're in the "grown-up" world and don't get their way.
I definitely don't think these parents have the right to call other parents lazy when they can't even be bothered to teach their children how to read a book
I don't think its lazy. They just don't value reading and writing as much so a logical consequence of this is not teaching their kids how to read and write. It has nothing to do with being lazy is my point.
@@orwellianyoutube8978 well one of the moms said their kid didn't like reading, so now it's easier for them and less stressful..sounds kind of lazy or demotivated to me.
I nannied for 6 years. Kids thrive with structure. They obviously need space to explore and all. But this type of freedom can be scary and uncertain for kids. They learn not to trust you. It makes me sad.
I really think that all children need schooling though whatever that may be homeschool Montessori etc etc. And kids need sleep as well as how to learn what is healthy to eat and how much of it. Without that little bit of structure you are setting your kids up for troubles when an adult
yesss as long as they're happy ,just in the same way about rich people,just because you're wealthy doesn't mean you're happy most of rich people has no morals and no happiness inside them that they're trying to fit in on the standard that society tell us who to be. Most of broke or poor people has a decent human morals that shines compares to yhe wealthy ones.
The parents seem to be mostly afraid of school itself. I think Finley would absolutely thrive in school, but is being held back by his parents' fears. I hope he cycles around to schooling again. (as someone who loved school myself)
As a mental health professional for children in care… If I’ve learned anything it’s that kids need structure and boundaries as much as they need love and support. I understand why a parent might want to homeschool their child. But not implementing any rules or boundaries gives them a false sense of reality. One day, they will be forced to venture out into the real world where there are real consequences.
As a teacher I have learned the same thing as you. The kids who are raised without boundaries and consequences tend to become manipulative and compulsive liars as they can’t handle facing their own words and actions. They have zero coping skills around self responsibility; it’s very sad to watch, and a challenge to the management of the classroom community.
I went to school, I hated it, but i liked to learn. School taught me to hate working as a team, because the other kids wanted to be there less that me, they didn't like to learn, so I was either doing all myself or getting bad grades because of other people. They didn't like me because I liked studying so I made no friends, I don't have one friend from school or high school that I still talk to. I did learn things a school but pretty sure I learned more and more useful at home and by myself. Plus my job now is based on all the skills I learned outside of the system, not even at university. So I think it will all depend on the kid, and surely not leave all up to them to the point they can't even read... you can let them make their own choices while still guiding and intervene when it's going too far.
Not true. I was raised that way and I'm a successful person. I have 3 masters degrees, 3 properties and I'm a lawyer. :) you dont have a false sense of reality. You learn facing consequences, which is closer to the real world.
The young boy that likes structure and wants to go to school has more sense than the parents. The fact that the parents aren't open to that and want a trial is odd, especially since they say they want the kids to make their own decisions. Sounds like they are actually forcing their own ideals on the kids. In fact the parents are making rules for the kids to follow even though they are saying there are no rules
Yes, and the parents made the kids feel like oddballs in the family for even wanting to go to school. The final interview with the boy, Findlay, made clear that his mom had changed his mind for him. He spoke about valuing freedom and fun, rather than learning and having friends like he had said originally.
It made me angry how grand dad paid for a tutor and the second the teenager starts showing improvement, mom plans for them to go traveling. That's messed up. That's 100% depriving her son the progress he could get.
That part was so sad. He clearly has a learning disability. I understand that some schools are really bad places for kids with those issues, so I can see why she may have been right to remove him & change focus for awhile to build his self-esteem up. But once he started showing such progress with the tutor, that should have become the priority. Reading and writing are life skills.
@@JB-pj1ey I’m thinking he might not actually have a learning disability. In about six weeks he has progressed so well that his tutor think he only needs about one more year to be completely caught up. That’s incredible progression and highly unlikely in a child with a LD. Chances are he’s just horribly uneducated and it simply takes time to catch up. He’s 13 and has been out of school for more than six years. That means he left school at age 6-7. He was very young and his reading likely hadn’t gone very far yet. The kid needs a proper education.
I’m 100% for people having choices, including children but depriving someone of the ability to read is incredibly cruel. If you can read then you can do anything you want to do. It opens up so many doors and possibilities. Isn’t that what these parents want for their children? Isn’t that why they’re doing this, to give their kids choices? If they can’t read then they have no choices. At least Finley’s mother (can’t recall her name at the moment) is teaching her children how to read and giving them the opportunity to get an education.
My mother had severe mental illness and raised me basically hands off. As long as I didn’t bother her I could do whatever I wanted. I was placed in foster care around 10. I loved the group homes and children’s facilities. They had rules and regulations. You knew when it was time eat, what to wear and how to act. There were consequences if you didn’t follow the rules. I hated it when I was returned to my mother. I’d much rather be in a place with structure.
Likewise. My mom was off partying and cheating on my step dad 24/7(I was the product of that) , while my dad worked as a full time trucker to put food on the table and pay bills so he was never home. I am the youngest of 5 girls. My mom abandoned us for months at a time with no food or anything. My 2nd oldest sister was 12 and had to steal food from grocery stores for us. We were dirty, starving and sick. It took years for CAS (Canadian CPS/DCS) years to remove us. I was crown ward from the age 5 onward. Kids need support, structure, life skills, and skills on how to process emotions properly. I lost one of my sisters 4 years ago, and blame my mom 100%.
Same for me. My mother had severe mental illness. And it did a lot of harm. I would opt for living with strangers at 9 yrs old to get away from that neglectful environment where I was eating frozen pancakes straight out of the freezer to live because my mother wouldn't get out of bed.
My parents let me do whatever I wanted from 14 on and all I wanted was rules. I wanted guidance to tell me how to be a strong healthy individual. It took years for me to correct the lifestyle I had. I’m not finished yet. I’m 43 and been fixing the sabotage from my childhood since 25.
Honestly, most of these kids seem the same. No rules but they still ask their parents "can I do this?" They want structure! Even the one child said that other kids' parents have a lot of rules because they don't want them to get hurt.
i had a friend as a child my nextdoor neighbor and i was really jealous that she got to do whatever she wanted no rules and go wherever, when i told her that she said no i wish i had rules because at least your parents care where you are and if you are safe and that really hit me. we were only 11/12 at the time and i realized that my parents being overprotective kept me out of trouble and provided structure something she never had.
I am an early childhood teacher and I can 10000% tell you that Children thrive in a structured environment. They crave stability, security and predictability... it's the school system and anxious parents that has failed children. All children learn differently. But these parents have taken no rules to the extreme.
I agree 100%, as a teenage girl myself, I believe that some rules are necessary for a kid’s development towards adulthood. I believe that you should allow children to express themselves and for children themselves to put boundaries but this is too much. How will these kids be prepared for society? They simply won’t. How will they even figure out what they want in life, who they are, what will they do when they’re put in difficult situations if some can’t even write or read. I am not against children being themselves and expressing themselves but this lifestyle is detrimental for a kid.
Having freedom and gentleness is different from having a free for all. It's neglect tbh. You as a parent are there to teach your children how to care for themselves and be adults.
My daughter has ADHD and she thrived in structure. Everything would spiral without structure in my home, when she was a kid. I’m happy to report she’s 25 and a responsible adult now.
Structure gives most of the people some stability when they can’t be with their loved ones. But when you can stay all day every day with the most important people I’m not sure you think about sructure anymore.
Agreed. This is rough to watch. I’m 100% for allowing children to follow their curiosity. But within reason. Children need boundaries and stability to feel safe as well as to be able to respect the boundaries of others as adults.
I had a friend who was raised like this with no rules. She said she was scared and felt not safe all the time. She never knew if what she was doing was something that could get her hurt. Kids deserve boundaries. It makes them feel safe.
I was raised like this. I can’t say I remember feeling unsafe during childhood but I can say that whenever I was around other “normal” kids I felt less than. And as an adult today I struggle with a lot of social things other people don’t struggle with.
For boys and girls it's just so important. Imagine them being in a relationship with someone they won't even realize how negative their world views are as soon as the subject of education comes up. I know I commented it elsewhere already but I'm really bothered by the idea of a young girl being kept in the dark ages by her own MOTHER who does have the freedom of reading and signing contracts, making her own money etc. The daughters are set up to be financial and emotional abusive relationships and so are the sons.
Skye's case breaks my heart. She wants to go to school but she's uncertain, and she's getting bad guidance instead of the encouragement she needs. She's being raised to be emotionally and mentally crippled.
I hate how hypocritical Gemma and Lewis are.They are fine if the choices their children make are fun and unconventional but if their child wants some actual structure in their life they try to change that child's mind.
Definitely noticed that too. They have extremely nice kids but saying things like “the aliens are home” and “ do they smell different” was clearly to help reinforce to all that school is a negative thing.
All Children need structure, boundaries, and rules. I’m not saying be overbearing, controlling, and stern like my mother was; I’m just saying, raising them freely like this is not preparing them at all for the real world.
I think the right place is somewhere in the middle. Rules are important where safety, manners, and education are involved. They have to be safe, respectful of other people, and prepared for the world they'll live in when their parents are gone. Freedom is great for other things that aren't so important and letting them have fun and express themselves.
Yeah uh...do these kids have any real skills that will help them? Kids out of school have plenty to learn! Teach them to hunt, fish, climb trees, forage, find gemstones, cook, make medicine, work on cars... ANYTHING USEFUL would be nice FFS
And most children actually want that too! A child with boundaries and rules always know where they stand and have stability in their life. I’ve seen children with less structured lives subconsciously seek out structure. I don’t know- this seems crazy. Plus it’s a giant mess- the lawn never gets mowed and the houses are full of crap- I would never find peace living like that-
I think it's crazy that a 13 years old is illiterate nowadays. His mother failed him and he's going to struggle later. He'll regret it. In the real world who's gonna want to hire an illiterate man? It's basic stuff you just need in everyday life.
Absolutely! Reading gives them the foundation they need to learn themselves anything they want to. My children pick what they want to learn about with our home school, but they couldn't possibly learn if they couldn't read or do basic math. Unless there's a disability, there's no excuse.
Honestly like I get that it was hard seeing her child struggle and be frustrated with it but I don’t think fully pulling him out of school and saying screw education was the way to go. I think the young boy just needed a different style of learning. What his grandfather did was great it’s clear that he’s improving with the more hands on and personalized approach. Perhaps if his parents had went that route originally he would have been much more proficient.
Loving your kids and enjoying being with them is fine. The inability to be apart from them in order for them to attend school is not. This is child abuse. Children need boundaries and guidance to develop a genuinely healthy sense of self, to learn self-control and to learn how to successfully interact with society. They need an appropriate education (either traditional school or real homeschooling) in order to be able to function in the world and to be prepared for employment. These parents are setting their kids up for failure.
As a parent this is the most disturbing documentary about parenting I have ever watched. This is definitely not home schooling, this is outright negligence in the name of freedom
@@pepsicola7204 The second family is really not bad. The only problem is that mum decided to not get a tutor. I love how they have set meal times and bed times.
Not to mention I started shooting guns and bow and arrows by age 5, I built my first bonfire all by myself at age 8, chopped down trees by 10, used a power washer my first time at 9, cleaned out a house that my father rented out at age 5, walked to the corner store for supplies and a treat or 2 by age 7, fixed my first clogged sink at age 7, built my own bird house from scratch at age 7, cleaned out gutters on a roof by age 14, helped build a house by 15, fixed my parents roof at 16 and baked my first treats at age 4 and was sue chef by age 10. Also I went to school every day, graduated at 17 from high school, college by 19 and played all sorts of sports and was very involved in music. I grew up with rules but a lot of freedom to be a kid and learn things that are needed to be independent and successful
@@lilylebowsky5908 It was. Most of my public school friends that did not live in my development were jealous and called me rich when in reality my father just knew how to manage money. On the flip side in my private highschool I was called lumber jack Jane and not treated as well because I drove an old manual pick up truck around my 103 acres of land instead of having 4-wheelers or horses or pools. Kids can be very cruel and I don't blame these parents for not wanting their kids to be bullied.
@@aiden_zae it might seem harmless, but people have rules, we have rules in live, you don’t have to be a strict parents but teaching their kids that rules exist is important. Imagine you grew up being an adult and not being able to receive a simple no from other ppl. Not knowing that sometimes you can’t do a certain things freely because they’ve never taught what’s appropriate and what’s not. Parents supposed to teach and raise their kids, even animals do too. By letting them do exactly ‘whatever’ they want without any consequences will become a threat in the future, trust me.
Watching that 13 year old kid trying to read probably year 1 level…. That’s just disgraceful. It’s a form of abuse for these kids - holding them back from basic reading and writing and a right to an education.
And he seemed so proud of himself when they filmed him at his lesson! He didn’t say it, but I could definitely see it in his face. I love that mom is encouraging him to follow his passions, he seems like a great drummer and archer and possibly even has a cool future doing art! But it seems like mom just gave up when he was struggling when he was younger, rather than helping him at home. Knowing how to read is such an important life skill, whether or not you’re well written. You should be able to read signs to get places, food labels to avoid allergies, read a recipe to make the food you want? Warning signs, news articles, I could go on forever. Does he need to know how to write a perfectly written essay? No, not really. But reading is such an important life skill to even basic SURVIVAL at this point. I’m so glad grandpa pushed for the private lessons. He seems like a good kid, I hope everything turns out okay for him
I agree I was so scared writing my comment but lucky I’m not the only one that thinks this my kid misses school because of a reason I still ring the school update them why he didn’t attend unless my kids are very sick if not there at school everyday
It's not abuse at all... Children have the right to make decisions. Some children have problems because of traditional ideas, such as schooling and love. Not letting children be themselves is abuse, dude. Please think before you comment. Your words could be very hurtful. I'm not saying I agree with everything, but children should definitely have the right to say no. Also, it's not like the kids are dumb/aren't learning anything. All people learn new things each day. Depressed kids shouldn't have to stay. Honestly, your closed minded words were disgraceful.
@@yerinbaekscandlelight you clearly don’t have kids. It is abuse to deprive your kids of an education. That’s being closed minded. You need basic skills in life to function. Reading is important, maths is important, science and History. It’s a parents responsibility to ensure there kids are set for life.. and by allowing them to say ‘no’ to learning isn’t the best for that child. That boy was 12 and didn’t know how to read basic preschool level. You need to read in life - signs, maps, medicines, even to get a job. I think perhaps if they can’t do mainstream school, then homeschool is the way to go. But to throw your arms up in the air and not offer any form of proper education is a detriment to any child. That’s fact
In homeschooling in America this is called Unschooling. It is a method that does work well with some kids. Most parents though, make a point of incorporating basics like reading, writing and counting into the day. It does give you freedom to really delve into a topic that they want to learn about. For my son, who is dyslexic, it gave me a way to sneak in cognitive therapies for his reading while making it a game. I did a mix of unschooling and schooling. Unschooling understands that many kids can learn more if they are out and about with the parent. I took him everywhere. As a result, he knew how to hold conversations with adults, knew how to read a map, could plan camping trips by age ten, does mathematics way better than I do, and is very secure in himself and his abilities. I did it for three years as the district was not helping him with reading and his dyslexia.
They’re taking this to an extreme here. Yes, children need to have a degree of autonomy. They want to eat ice cream for dinner… okay, whatever. But kids also need structure and boundaries to prepare them for the real world. Education is very important and shouldn’t be neglected in the name of “happiness”
They, as parents and role models, made fun of the idea and all the time were using their influence on the kids to talk them out of it. In the end talking about how this decision of not going confirms their beliefs that their way of life is best...hypocrites.
I agree with Archie's Grandpa. The kid is 13 and needs to be able to read, write, know basic math and have friends. The mother seems like she wants to be his friend more than a mother. How are these kids going to keep jobs if they don't even have the basic skills.
Sadly unless someone intervenes or the children take it upon themselves, once they are legally adults, to get proper education chances are the taxpayers will be paying for them in some form of welfare or disability.
@Desiree CC To run your own business you to need to be able read, write, and do math. Depending on your bussiness you might be required to fill out permits, get loan documents, read and sign a lease or rental agreement, be able to balance your business accounts, figure out employee payroll, know your states laws when it comes to employment or business regulations and a whole shit ton of other stuff. Not to mention if you go into something like food service you would be mandated to pass a safe serve as well as other certifications to show you are running a clean and healthy business. I mean even someone who wants to knit blankets or make jewellery and sell it online need to know how to read/write/and do math. They couldn't get a website set up, take customer orders, ship out merchandise, balance their profit/loss margins, or order material from vendors without those basic skills. Running your own business is a risky gamble. It takes lots of time, organization, structure, as well as a good business idea. Yes they could have people working for them like an accountant or someone to deal with online orders and shipping but that would require paying these individuals which can put a large dent into any profit the company makes.
Freedom doesn’t mean no discipline, no boundaries, no structure, no awareness, consequences, or sense of their surroundings. These kids will grow into a dysfunctional menace, and they’ll struggle immensely in our intolerant world.
Did you watch this documentary? I actually appears that they do bave freedoms but are not truly allowed to do whatever they want. It seems more like the parents have reevaluated what is really worth it and telling their kid not to spray paint on the camper wasn't worth it. There is definitely a difference between neglect and giving children freedom 🥰
They're raising their kids to live in paradise, not on earth. Earth has very strict rules and timings regarding work, learning, health, and happiness. There is no happiness without discipline on earth.
Amen to that!!! So sad for these kids. Even our culture & American society teaches we need to follow rules (the laws of the land), order, government, police, etc. It protects us from total anarchy
The perfect depiction of the devouring mother and father. Raise them in a way that depend on you solely, rob them of any social maturity, but they'll never leave you, they'll never leave home. This is truly sad.
@@avapilsen One of the authors and clinical psychologist of our time. That's one of things that I learned from him, that and the oedipal complex from Dr Freud
“No rules” means “anti-social.” All societies have rules. If you don’t guide your children on how to function in a family, they won’t have any idea how to function in society.
Imagine a society full of individuals who have never been told no. will be supporting a whole lot more of individuals who neither want to work or are incarcerated.
This is the saddest thing Ive ever seen. “We just want them to be happy and do whatever they want” kid wants to wake up early and go to school to feel accomplished...mom proceeds to shame him for wanting that. So sad
My friend raised her kids like that: Her marriage broke down, one son is on drugs for years, the other one has no contact with his mother for many years now. I think she regrets her decision deeply and I feel very sorry for that family. And I blame myself for not speaking out more distinctly in time. Nobody did. We all were afraid of her reaction. But if you love someone you have to talk straight to that person, especially if kids are involved. It makes me very sad.
I doubt she would listen. She might felt at that time she was doing what's right and all of you were wrong. She might also wanted to feel special by doing something "special".
Like which? None of the families presented raised kids the same, just under some broad term labeled "no rules" which mostly didn't seem particularly true. (The non reading 13 yr old's situation was concerning). One family removed their child from school because she was miserable and struggling, and instead are providing an education that is individualized for her... as time goes on, they agree more and more on how to make it work and don't seem anything like a family that is in crisis or breaking down. One family decided to raiser their kids by spending all their time with them and teaching them basics, AND non standard curriculum and skills with both parents sharing parenting responsibilities equally, and always with their children. Again, nothing about the family indicates crisis or trauma in their relationships. I keep seeing comments comparing the families presented to someone they know whose life was very negatively impacted by their unconventional upbringing, but when they describe the uprising, it really isn't anything like how these families are. So when you refer to your friend WHICH of these families was she like?
@@mimiadams247 Like the family who was not happy with their two kids trying to go school. But: We live in Germany, so the boys had to go to school, it is mandatory here, even homeschooling is not allowed. But their mother opposed everything, teachers, curriculum just everything. And the boys did not find a way to fit in for very long, because they were very aggressive and unsociable. In the end they managed, as teenagers, as they are very intelligent. Now in their twenties they struggle both with drugs or mental problems. But I must admit that all children in that documentary seem to be friendly, nice and sociable. And I am impressed that they are very active and move happily around all day - something I do not watchoften nowadays. So I do see advantages in raising kids more freely, but in my opinion they should get the best education possible, in order to have all opportunities in live. And it is important to learn, how to get along with all kind of people, outside your family.
It’ll probably be telling more when these kids get a bit older & feel like ok I can run this let’s see how far I can take it. These parents won’t know what hit them…smh
Addicts. They learn to only and always satisfy themselves in any way. They always want and get immediate gratification. They could have serious problems with always wanting to meet their desires right away as adults. This can result in anything like video game addicts, gluttony, drug addicts, you get the idea. I have met people whose parents pretty much let them do what ever they wanted and that was the results every time. They battle with addiction. They can't conquer any addiction without replacing it with another. It's very sad.
I grew up without school, not so much no rules but I’d cry my way out of things and I never got punished and I can say now, not going to school and not having structure rlly screwed me over. Feel horrible for these kids.
They typically don’t need or have nannies. Mom is home with them, shes not checked out, not in drugs, not watching TV and eating BonBons. I am all for this. I’m a nanny and a postpartum Doula. The relationships between the kids are typically very close without sibling rivalry that stays with them into their adulthood. Their raw skills put them ahead of the typical public school student. It’s amazing.
I dont understand how they think kids, used to having no rules at all, will be able to function in a society which is full of rules. Without some type of structure you will not even be able to hold down a job...
@@HelenEk7I totally agree with you but I find it interesting how now with the ever growing online economy kids brought up this way have more opportunities to make a living then say just 10+ years ago. So how before these kids would most certainly be set up for failure, now it’s not a sure thing. I still think they would benefit from some structure and discipline. It’ll just be a matter of time before we see if this experiment turns out ok or completely fails these kids.
"As an adult you get to choose...so why can't they" well sir that's because they're kids and they don't know what's best for themselves. The frontal lobe of your brain which is in charge of reasoning and long term planning (among other important things) doesn't fully develop until 25... allowing a child barely even 10 to make their own decisions is just terrifying.
Allowing children to make their own decisions is a part of important developmental progress. Should the two who decide to attend school against their parents beliefs be forced not to just, because adults raising them say no?
@@Prawnstar. sure a child should be able to make certain decisions with GUIDANCE from adults that have the kid's future in mind. Keep in mind that decisions and consequences have different levels of severity. Sure a child can choose what to wear and small things like that, gaining the right to make more decisions on their own as they mature. If a kid was born knowing how to do everything for themselves then the legal age of adulthood would be 0. The second point is good tho. No, I don't think they should be forced not to attend school. Giving your child proper schooling is a law for a reason and a parent shouldn't try to talk a child out of a good decision. Imo that's just hypocritical. Edit: i didn't mean in my original comment that children shouldn't be able to make any decisions for themselves. A simple wording mistake.
You can raise happy healthy kids with structure and discipline! You don’t have to control them but show them that their decisions have consequences good or bad. Don’t stifle their creativity but they need to know right from wrong! Can’t just give them everything they want either! Discipline is needed!
Totally agree. There is a reason children have parents. For more reasons then love and making sure their kids are safe. It’s about making well rounded productive human beings. This freedom isn’t doing anything but creating hooligans. It’s sad
Positive parenting... love and logic. There are lots of ways to gently let children begin to develop a way of moving through life with conscientiousness. My child has ADHD and SPD. I think he needs a little extra help with emotional regulation and executive functioning. I could see him languishing educationally like Archie if I didn't set up a structure and boundaries. He learns A LOT from patterning and outside influences due to his non-neurotypical nature. I think this style of living offers much, as does the world of "rules" and like many things, a personalized blend of styles with the child's temperament in mind seems to be best.
Met a parent and daughter who didn't know how to read and write. Daughter was 20. Mother was almost 50. They needed to fill out government forms but wasn't able to do since they don't know how to read. Even simple things like checking if married, widow, single. They don't know because they can't read. Learning to read and write is a must even if you don't want to send your kids to school. Please teach them to read and write. What if they need to buy medicine etc.
As someone with dyslexia, I too had a "block" when it comes to reading. So, my mom took me out of school and got me tutoring and bought me books on horses (my favorite animal at the time). She didn't just let me stop. And yes, I wanted to stop many times. But now I'm so thankful that she pushed me! I would not have the life or job I have now if I hadn't learned coping mechanisms. Plus, I found a love of reading. Thanks Mom! Thanks for pushing me when I needed it!
I have 2 dyslexics. It's HARD WORK for them to learn to read. They started w/ tutoring then moved to a special school. I wouldn't like for them to have wasted time in the school system getting little to no appropriate instruction--it happens all the time!
@@musicmama2864 True! My mom was the same. However, it sounds like you are pushing them to learn. You are not taking them out of school because you don't want them to push through the struggle. My mom homeschooled me after my diagnosis, but it was no cakewalk. I worked harder at home than any of my school friends. And I'll admit to wanting to stop many times and wishing my mom wouldn't push me, because it was hard. But now, I'm so thankful for the growth pain at the time. I would not have grown like I did and developed the coping mechanisms I did if she had not pushed me. I was a child and could not see beyond it being hard in the moment. That is my problem with these parents- they are not pushing the children to do the hard things now, so they will be ill-prepared for when they hit real life later. Life has hard times and requires hard work. These children will have to grow up eventually, and it will be a lot more painful as an adult. The parents are choosing to be comfortable rather than prepare their children.
If your mother was with you every step of the way I wouldn't call it pushing I would call it guidance. Which is a parents job. To guide their children to be an adult that can contribute to life & society.
I knew someone like this. She sent the kids to Lutheran school for quite a few years. The kids knew absolutely nothing except God at that school. Especially the middle boy. The youngest didn’t get as much because she wasn’t going to school much yet. By the time she did they transferred to regular public school and there definitely was a large gap in knowledge. (The kids only went to public school because the money dried up and their mom and dad couldn’t afford religious school anymore.) That mom basically planned to only raise the kids until 16 because that’s when she grew up and became an adult. Something to that effect. I think she was a foster kid when she was younger. Instead she ended up quitting when the oldest girl turned 13. About the same with the boy. That’s when the kids started living with friends. Couch surfing. That oldest child also got a felony for driving at 12 to pick up something from the gas station for her mom. Her mom told her to. She did it all the time. This time, she got caught. Except that’s of course not what the story was when cops showed up. She allowed her daughter to get a felony at 12 and lied and said the kid stole the car. Only the youngest stayed with her mom until just about 18. Though mom dipped and moved out of state before the youngest even left high school or had her 18th birthday. Nowadays I hear the mom has returned and is living with the youngest and middle child. No, they’re not living with her. She’s living with them. Apparently the rich aunt (mom’s foster sister) and rich uncle (mom’s foster brother) are sick and tired of her and sent her back home. Both sent her packing. The kids are doing okay. The oldest is working (no college education), I think all three of them graduated HS early. The oldest was a receptionist then she worked in a mail room. Had a baby and gave him up for adoption. (Baby is okay and happy living with his new family.) The middle child just finished mechanic school and the youngest is still in college (2nd year is finishing up I think). They just could’ve used some more help and if they had that they might not have had to raise themselves or they could’ve made less extreme mistakes. The youngest has done the best out of all of them. She’s a smart girl. Though she has some mental hang ups. She was taking anti-depressants at one point. Not sure about what she’s going through now.
Struggling with this currently. My parents were definitely strict and yet it's not like it got me anywhere, but at least I'm always discussing with my SO on what the heck to do with kids one step at a time.
@@ariannasilva4462 Unfortunately she did. At least one time with the oldest daughter when the daughter was 12. She punched the girl. She wasn’t the mother that beat her kids everyday at least to my knowledge, but it wasn’t a off the table either. There was at least some going on. The boy also had learned at some point to threaten his sisters with knives. I think he’s much better now, again, they all are. They’re childhood was very chaotic though. That was the first time I realized how dangerous ultra religious families were. This family and another showed me that. Though even as a child I still had not yet realized the bigger picture of what I was seeing and experiencing.
@@FullmoonPhantom-dn2sr So basically...no planning, no structure... rolling along with life.. as it comes Sounds like no taking responsibility for one's own actions either....extreme immaturity 🤦🏻♀️
My parents did that … not recommended, as adults we don’t like working in a company, because we don’t like bosses… also no one finished college… mostly of us are insecure about being around people… we are not normal people … I think is very important to kids to have rules , go to school, interacting with outside people, not only our family.
I’m really sorry to hear that. That’s not fair to you. I know a little about what it’s like not to feel “normal” and it’s can be rough. Keep your head up. I went back to school at 30 and I chose a top career in aircraft maintenance. My alcoholism pushed me behind a lot. Just do what you can to be the best you, that’s all that matters. Lots of love ❤️
I grew up with rules. I went to school and was very successful academically. I spent most of my time with people outside of my family. I didn't finish college though. I don't like working in a company. I don't like bosses. I'm insecure about being around other people. I'm not normal. I've always longed to feel closer to my family of origin, but that sort of bonding will never occur. I would've been more independent, happy, and secure had I been raised in this way.
Parents: “We want our kids to be independent and have the ability to make decisions for themselves😃” Finley: *makes decision to go to school* Parents: “No, not like that”
@@annie.hi. yeah they were but you could clearly see how much they didn’t like it and were sort of criticizing them about it, calling them aliens when they came home and such. They were trying their best to be nice but both of them emphasized how much they didn’t want them to go and that they were loosing them to the system and stuff. But they did let them go which I was surprised about since they seemed so adverse to it.
@@optimysticpeaches they were teasing them. Obviously the parents supported giving it a try. That’s why they set up the trial. They expressed their feelings of sadness that they would miss them. Do you really think those kids went to a public school and were like “hey this is so fun! I want to do this every day of my life!”? It’s really not surprising that they went and realized it wasn’t what they hoped it would be. Even for kids that enjoy traditional academic learning, school is not a fun place to be for so many hours of your life.
@@annie.hi. Teasing at a decision like that is not good. It could easily make the child hesitate. Your username checks out, are you similar to them? School is beneficial, educate is a necessity and a right. There may be bad kids but so are good kids. Just like life, you deal with it and make the most out of it. No turning back or quitting, just moving forward for betterment regardless
I agree with lenient parenting and not over managing everything. But an extreme of any end is still bad. You should lead but not force, and let them learn from their own mistakes. But not letting them have any learning or structure is insane
That kid who shaved their head, asked for permission in a household with no rules....the child wanted a boundary which is why permission was requested.
They don't mean no rules, like that 🙄 I'm sure the mom still wants to know ahead of time, what they are going to do. Even if she's fine with it. Notice she also told her how to do it, didn't just say have at it.
Remember being a kid and playing a game with friends but that one kid just doesn't want the rules? The game becomes less fun without the rules doesn't it. Life is like that. Rules are needed.
the mom was literally crying because her son was going to school. they make the kids think they're making their own decisions but Finley was indirectly peer pressured to not to go to school. so he can make his parents happy about his decision.
This made me soooo mad! The parents' comments about how they are losing them and whether he smells the same after 6 hours of school... They made damn well sure, that those kids felt that they shouldn't actually go to school even if they wanted, hypocrisy at its best.
@@darknlovli Definitely, I hope he doesn't struggle with his mental health as an adult. Having parents who discourage educational attainment and personal growth is psychologically damaging.
so much that! his sister too. her 7yo sister kept complaining and guilt tripping her to stay out of school. and ofc bc the mom didn’t really want them to go either so she did nothing to stop that behavior. made me so mad. watching these parents made me appreciate all the things my mom has done for me so much more.
So as a 30 year old woman who was also raised this way. Let me share my experience. I was diagnosed with ASD when I was a child. And then, Not Otherwise Specifed Psychosis as well. School was not happening. I was always bullied, thrown out of the district, that couldn't accommodate people like me with learning difficulties. I couldn't bond with anyone and didn't make any friends. Once I was taken out of school. My days became less depressing and more tolerable. I felt like I was actually starting to live. I wasn't stuck in a classroom, trying to learn times tables. I was outside learning how to fill out money orders. So when I was an adult, I knew how to pay rent. I wasn't being forced into group projects. With children who made fun of me, for not picking up on their hurtful 'jokes'. I was in therapy learning how to manage all my symptoms. With both practical skills and medication. I was taught by my mother, by being brought outside into the world. Being shown things from all walks of life. Instead of looking at a paper and memorizing things. Government assistance? I knew how it worked from 14 years old. Community outreach? I know where all my safe places are. Even when I moved across states. I will always know how to get help when I need it. A lot of children around me, were being taught to smile in people's face. And that the adult is always right. I was told if I had an opinion, I was to speak it. If I had an idea, I could do it and that I should try. If it didn't work out, it's okay to give up and do something new. Not the rhetoric that; 'You should never give up.' No it's perfectly fine to walk away from something or someone that hurts you. That's how I managed to have only postive interactions with others in my life growing up. All of this in my upbringing, did wonders for my creativity. Because lo and behold I was a creative thinker. While I couldn't and still can't memorize times tables. I can write very well, I can sing, I have learned other languages. What I benefited from was not being stuck in a box everyone else is in. But being given the keys to my own future. Since nobody is going to live it except me. I can hold normal conversations. I no longer have self confidence issues. I believe in my ability to get my point across. I am more than capable of surviving on my own. I have been living alone since 19 years old. I have my own home. I have my own freedom. I know how to sustain it. I don't think all unschooling is bad. I don't think no rules households are bad. I think if you're giving something valuable to your children. Teaching them the actual things they need to survive. Then your child is going to be perfectly fine. I definitely am and I'm much happier for it. Being taking out of school at 12. And being given freedom to engage my special interests 24/7 without the fear of being told no. And being treated for my disability instead of told 'I just need to work harder.' Was the best thing my mother ever did for me. Thank you Mom. ❤
I would really love a follow-up to this documentary 20 yrs from now, from the children's point of view. It would be extremely interesting to see how this will affect the kids, once they are grown to see how this has influenced their lives, in a positive, or negative way. I can assume it will be a little of both. Kid's lives and growth are not about the parents, or their feelings. Just because a parent "feels uncomfortable" or "doesn't like it", doesn't give them license to completely upend their child's entire development. In my opinion, it's the epitome of selfishness and laziness, on the parent's part. There are exceptions, of course, for a child who is having extreme issues, to consider alternative solutions, because parent's are held responsible, ultimately, for the well-being of their underage kids. But NO rules? It's imperative to have discipline for the well-rounded mental and emotional development for kids, period. How are they going to behave, as adults, the first time they are told no?!? It would be so interesting to see...👀🤯
You must be like me. I love human behavior. I’d also love to see a follow up. I just hope that they don’t turn to drinking and or drugs to help cope mentally. I can definitely see the potential for jail or prison.
I'll make a guess. They will be able to get the least payed jobs and they will be fired from there next week. And as an option they will go to prison... just to be taught some rules. We live in a society, every society in the world has rules. And this is what to be learned from childhood
Interesting huh ? I call it a long shot at best.. your 20 year later documentary will likely be impossible, or filmed at a prison. Ever see a dog who's been taught rules ? And I don't mean an officer drug dog. I mean man's best friend. Take a quick comparison to a dog who doesn't know a single rule. Can't be walked. Barks at everything. Craps in the house. Has no use. Guess which dog is the happy dog. It's called life, liberty, and the pursuit of HAPPINESS. What's life and liberty without happiness? Can't wait for the follow up....
Ya this way of life is mind boggiling those are being set up for Failer when they are older I wonder how will they react when being told NO $& not attending school WTH it will be worse 10 years from now for jobs you will have to have a diploma to work st a fast food restaurant WOW I'm speechless to this parenting
Where do u see neglect ?? They are very happy. theyre receiving lots of love/.. learning to do practical things...n0t one of them is showing disrespect or temper tantrums.......nor do they look sick or anxious....I totally disagree with you ...They are very healthy kids, in every sense
@@IwasBlueb4 No discipline can lead to terrible behaviors in the future as teenagers and/or adults. May be fun as a kids but terrible as they get older. It is neglecting for their children because they are not taught basic necessities or habits of daily life, for example, are they disciplined to do chores, No. that’s where the neglect is coming from. How are they exactly going to survive alone when they move out if they don’t know these necessities. They don’t do school and it is something everyone needs, for example, math is a required skill because it teaches problem solving, analyzing, understanding, and more. So many kids from third world counties would DIE to have the ability to attend to schools and they are not taking the chance of it. This parenting style is called Permissive Indifferent/Indulgent, if you want to learn more about it google it. This terrible parenting style will only lead their kids to failures in relationships, academically, overall health, and general things. Every single thing even the littlest is going to somehow impact your child’s future and the way they preserve things. People’s perspective comes from their experiences and if this is THEIR experiences, it is going to be great bad news.
It is a clear NO to me. I have seen the awful results of the free parenting. To me, this kind of "parents" just don't fee like take any responsibility in raising their children. No guidance, no boundaries, no sense of responsibility. Very scary and even scarier when they will go out into the real world.
Archie's reading is a serious concern. He probably has a learning disability that needs to be addressed not ignored. He won't be able to function as an adult with that level of literacy. This could easily be done by his mom if she bought a reading curriculum and spent and hour or two a day with him instead of insisting he just spends all his time 'playing'.
Yeah, and the teacher in the private school saying that he was nearly at the level of his peers was a straight lie. He was not able to read very basic words and had no fluency at all. Poor chap. And I found it interesting that the documentary was only looking at reading and writing skills. Imagine missing out on other languages, science and arts.
@@Hippabellita1 - Totally agree with you! It is also important to be exposed to the social side of things, meet and make new friends, expand your ‘horizons’, get a little part-time job (maybe just a Saturday paper route so it doesn’t interfere with his education) as that would boost his confidence.
I would be interested to see a follow up with these children once they’re adults and hear from them how they ended up and how they feel about their childhood. I’ve heard horror stories from adults who were raised this way about how they couldn’t read or do math into adulthood. There’s homeschooling, and then there’s…this.
me too. For most the kids I think Adulthood is going to hit them hard when they discover there's no job they can get and even if they do find something they won't keep the job because the workplace has rules that must be followed and they've never had any rules at all. Finley I think will do fine. He likes some structure to his life but Archie. . . no. That boy will have a very hard time as an adult. The couple with the 3 kids are being sensible. There are some rules for their children. They just don't have a regimented lifestyle for their children. And that's the best way to go.
I was "raised" like this. TLDR: I resent this type of upbringing. Its straight up NEGLECT. My mom was single & always working and she would let me do just about anything; skip school, dye my hair, no bed time, didnt care much if I failed classes or misbehaved, etc. As embarrassing as it is, these are some effects I've noticed (I'm 25 now) - My hygiene was horrible, I would not shower for weeks and I cringe at the memory of a girl in 6th grade telling me I smelled like pee... I believed I never did anything wrong, there was no such thing as "wrong". In school, my grades were terrible but I didnt care, I'd refuse to do tests or homework. I literally didnt know until HS that grades mattered. For almost my entire 4th grade year I sat at the back of the class in a corner away from everyone else because I was so belligerent. I did not respect authority or rules and I still struggle with this somewhat because in my mind, "I don't HAVE to do anything", its very hard for me to hold a job now because obligation is foreign. I give up easily because I never learned how to fail. I got into so many fights at school even with teachers. I had little empathy. I didnt understand boundaries or social norms & naturally this made having friends really difficult. I would get upset if I was told "no", I still do sometimes, it hurts my feelings, like, I have to excuse myself to go cry sometimes (because I dont want to make them feel bad or manipulate them) its so distressing emotionally and I feel bad for feeling like that. I learned to lie effortlessly to get away with things. II'd stay out until 11pm and no one ever checked on me. I was smoking at age 15 because by then, I was practically living alone and I had to grow up quick. If I found myself in trouble, I knew no one was coming to save me or protect me. All of this did not make me feel loved or free, it made me feel forgotten and stupid. I'm still figuring out how to survive on my own. I do not make excuses for my wrongdoings, I try really hard to do the right thing now that I know better. My older sister grew up the same way but she went in a different direction. I recognize my flaws, I isolate myself a lot because I know I'm wrong, I often feel intense shame and remorse but my sister doesnt. Shes like Dudley from Harry Potter lol. Interestingly, she has strong boundaries and has no issue saying no to people but I'm a push over. With all that being said, it isnt all negative. A positive I noticed is that I was able to express myself and explore who I was and what I liked without fear of what others might think. My mom encouraged my interests and participated in a way that created a bond. I was emo (cringe) and I loved screamo music, heavy metal, rock, etc, my mom would let me play all the music I liked in the car, she would turn the volume all the way up and rock out with me even if we were just going to walmart. She helped me dye and cut my hair in all sorts of ways so I was able to experiment and this built my confidence and self esteem. I didnt feel like I was a freak or a weirdo or an outcast. I love myself because of her. Everyone is different and responds to their environment differently. A person isnt solely a reflection of their childhood, biology still plays a role so I know my experience wont be the same as others. I think there is a sweet spot somewhere if you have the right priorities, if you guide your child rather than force or ignore. Rules, routine and encouragement would have helped me. I didnt need to be "free" I needed to learn to be a functioning member of society.
They may have no rules at home, but they'll have a very rude awakening when later in life they're in jail. Society DOES have rules and consequences for breaking those rules.
Probably not Jail lol that’s a bit of an exaggeration. What’s more likely is, if their parents aren’t teaching them how to speak to one and other with respect and boundaries, they’ll have issues forming relationships with others/understanding those boundaries. If they’re already interacting with other kids though, they may already be learning that.
I’m a homeschooling mother of two. We have a very slack approach to school. However we put education and knowledge high on priority along with developing into the best, capable person we can be. We educate ourselves through experiences and books. We don’t follow a set curriculum. We learn at our own pace and my kids have room to grow and develop while pursuing their interests but all the while the building blocks of reading, writing, math … those basic knowledge skills are being taught and learned. My children have freedom but there are responsibilities that we are all required to do. I want them to be able to function in their adult lives without the mental health issues that public schools seem to provide. So while my kids have freedom to be children they are also not running around uneducated. We have values and we have rules. All set in place to make sure that we are all healthy and set up for our best future. So the idea of letting your child make all the decisions and having no guidance is absolutely ridiculous.
@@gabrielzzz12345 Maybe my reading comprehension isn't where it should be because I think you're saying that a significant amount of publicly educated students don't learn to read or write and that isn't true.
@@CiGiDancer actually it is true people do not know how to comprehend what they read unless they teach themselves because they truly enjoy it. and the whole idealism of reading is to fluently use and comprehend it. People who cant do it and still have a 3rd grade reading level as an adult are not fully aware of a failed education system. Our public school system fails in every aspect of actually teaching. Maybe it’s forced or maybe it’s brain deficiency but the smartest and most brilliant minds never could read or write at all they played to there own interest like most do. I’m saying that if you can’t comprehend what your reading your public education system isn’t enough to qualify. The only people who can be recognized are top of the class people. So if someone doesn’t want to read or write then it doesn’t really matter technology speaks for itself. Your wasting time calling it abuse. And it’s not cps worthy. And with technology advancing about the average person loses focus span. It seems this family took a better route.
@@gabrielzzz12345 I am having a hard time understanding the thread of your points, and I don't think it is because I was failed by the public school system... If most people did not learn reading comprehension then how are millions of people communicating in these YT video comments? How do people function at work? On social media? Why are our literacy rates so high? I'm not the biggest fan of public school, I graduated a year early with a 3.8 GPA and I slid through much easier than I should have, I was just so desperate to leave. My brother actually ended up dropping out (fortunately to become a very successful entrepreneur). I tell you this so you can understand that I am very critical of public education. I plan to send my children to private school because mine and my family's experience was so negative. But to say that public school is an abject failure is patently false. The GRAND MAJORITY of children in the public school system can read by the age of 13. This family failed their child in this regard, and in my opinion it is abusive. If I am not addressing all of your points, I am sorry, as I said above, I am having difficulty parsing out all of your points.
It's almost abuse because they shame kids that go to school and they had to have learned that from their parents cus they all model what their parents have said. It's almost like a cult approach.
I just don't understand how it sets them up for a career? How will they look after and feed themselves? That grandfather was so kind and caring to pay for his grandsons tuition in English..... hopefully it will be enough to get him a job.
I can't believe what I'm hearing! The older boy says he doesn't need to learn to write because he'll just speak into his phone like voice texting. 🤦♀️ Just pure laziness! I mean, what do you expect when you have parents with the same damn attitude?
Aww look at him in his suit. Finley is one of those mature "one of a kind" children who has an old soul and ahead of his time. He will be alright. Bless his heart.
He is going to be the only one of all those children who is gonna have a normal life without greater problems. He can be proud of himself for having determination to really make his parents send him to school
@@Maddie1402_ unfortunately he succumbed to their pressure and chose not to attend in the fall. He stayed home. I hope he reevaluates that decision and goes back to school. He’s a very bright young man and could go far in life if he gets educated.
Im so happy I live in Germany. You cant take ur children out of school here, so everyone gets the same education. I think thats especially important because I feel like homeschooled children often just accept the beliefs and opinions of their parents as theirs, which in some cases, is def problematic.
What I was reading is your education system in Germany is based on where you were placed according to a test, and you have three different schooling options that have different requirements. So they’re not getting the same schooling right?
Its not based on a test, but the parents opinion (up until a few years ago parents actually had no say in it and the teachers were the deciding factor). So basically ur parents decide which schoolform would work best for you. As u said, we have three different schooling options. The difficulty of the stuff we learn does ofc vary a lot between these options, but we ultimately all learn the same things. The "better" options just do it faster and more in-depth. @@theirishsaint4324
We don’t have the test anymore. Instead teachers in our equivalent to primary school can give recommendations. The parents can choose to follow it however they might decide against it. The fallout is many teens struggling a lot in the Gymnasium (Finishing this school allows you to go to university) simply because their parents told them to just try it out. Some of my former classmates didn’t want to disappoint their parents and now have horrible grades but they also can’t drop out anymore because the grades they got in 10th grade (Which is a Realschulabschluss, this qualifies you for doing an apprenticeship but you can also continue your education on a specific Gymnasium which is only for one area of expertise, for example economics) were so bad almost no businesses would accept them as employees (They’d have mostly D’s or something worse).@@theirishsaint4324
Editing my comment doesn’t work for some reason so I’ll try to answer your question here: Everyone technically has the same opportunities however social factors, having bad teachers and other factors might keep you from being able to use your potential completely. Additionally going to university can be impossible for you because of housing issues so you need to find a university that would accept you and allows you to live relatively close which is usually only possible if it isn’t in a big city.
It makes me mad that those parents are willingly not sending their kids to school, letting them be illiterate when kids around the world would fight to have access to school. Education is SO important, they are ruining their kids lives
This! Education is SO important nowadays and thinking that they are just saying "oh well who cares" drives me nuts! People all over the word are fighting for this basic human right!
I think she should be teaching them herself if she’s gonna pull them out of school. The public education system is completely fucked and the fact that she actually noticed her kid was depressed was a great start. But I don’t think she should avoid education altogether
I grew up with no rules as a kid also I’m 26 now. And I honestly hate my parents for it… like why…WHYYYY. I literally fully Learned how to read at the age of 12, and am still struggling to fit into Society. These kids are up for a rude awakening
When they grow up - if they survive - will hate their parents for this.. also they will have problems getting friends because they behave like shit and the other parents do not want that around their own kids..
@@ladelnorte4707 at least teach your children how to read and write, it's not that hard to do if they want their kids to live happily. It's hard to figure many things out if u can't read or write.
@@ladelnorte4707 i don’t think their kids will be very happy when they realize the real world has rules and what you want doesn’t matter. They’ll either be homeless or some druggies on the street barely making a living. In this world, if you can’t accomplish the bare minimum of reading and writing, you’re done for.
I hated going to school and doing chores when I was a kid. Today I realize how important it was. It forced me to socialize and learn to get along with people from all backgrounds. It helped me to learn structure which is important as you get older. School taught me more than I'd like to admit it did 😆
They are free to do what they want, but when the choice is against parents ideas like school, the father doesnt seem so keen. I wonder if this idea of freedom is just an egoistic way of making life easier for parents
Also the comments the mom made before and after the kids went to school... The emotional manipulation with the comments about how she will miss or even lose them, especially after coming back from school checking if "he still smells the same"... I know it was meant to be funny, but it was just so cringy. They are happy that the kids do whatever they want, but only if it fits their agenda. They made damn well sure, that those kids felt that they shouldn't actually go to school, even if they wanted.
@@dorapetho2313 agree they were extremely negative and only focused on how it affected them which suggests to me this decision is more for them. He said it’s so he can “raise” them but they mainly just seem to run wild.
Yea that is exactly what I think. The parents are just lazy and don’t want to do anything other than what they want to and they get upset when the kids show any sort of independence or want to do things differently. It’s quite sad really. These parents are huge hypocrites.
Ikr! It's like they want to prevent them from learning. Why would you want your children to be illiterate??? I think the parents have this fear that if their kids go to school and start loving it, they'll wanna sign up for different extracurricular activities. So you know what that means?? The parents will become busy! *Gasp* the insanity! Lol. God forbid they might have to pack lunches every night for the next day and require their children to go to bed at a certain time.
Something I always think about and regret from my childhood - my parents were very loose on rules. There was no limit on TV, no housework, no enforced homework, my mum would bring me breakfast in bed in the mornings before school... and as an adult I've found it very hard to get motivation to do work and the 'boring' things, and always wished my parents had pushed me harder and not let me do whatever I want.
My regrets were that they weren't HONEST with me, because once I left school and I realized the world around me was nearly the opposite of what I was "sold" there went the motivations.
I am sorry for that! My Russian German parents seemed always stricter than my friends parents but now I am glad and thankful for every "NO" I got and every "forced" homework that I didn't want to do. After I started my apprenticeship as a nurse others told me that they made the experience that young Russian Germans do work better and harder than the average German. Well, that's because usually the Russian Germans are more strict on their children. They don't accept a No easily. Now I even wish they were more strict. Also if I was really rebellious and didn't wanna obey even after 3rd request I got one spank. But hey- you can do it better with your children and you can learn from other parents I am sure there are some good parents that will share their knowledge with you. But the best book to get advice would be the book of Proverbs from the bible. You have everything you need there! Every good parenting is based on the truths from proverbs. Wish you the best!
@@linza2345 the funny thing is that my mother is a Christian so you would think she would follow the Biblical example, I thank her for raising me to know God, but I wish I was disciplined more.
I mean, my guardians were the opposite but I also have a great deal of trouble with motivation to start things or get things done... That might be because of my mental health condition though. You can always change though, you shouldn't use how you were raised as an excuse to not try and change yourself or your habits. Best of luck, I know it's hard!
“If I need to write anything, I can just speak into my phone”. This isn’t just ridiculous, it’s scary, because these children are the adults of tomorrow. 😳
There’s different types of intelligence. Like 8 or something. I noticed that going to public school.. idk why people think everyone processes information the same way. We don’t. Everyone is different so why can’t the way we handle things be acceptable despite it being different or not working for someone else. I think kids with adhd or add can read upside down through a reflection of the mirror. I can’t do that 😂😂😂 I can’t make no giant 400 ton metal plane or boat float in the sky or on water...lol someone has tho. 🤦♀️😂 like ..come on people
But if there's no rules you can beat the shit out of any of them if they get out of line with you. ...Fair enough? It better be, if any of these brats get around me. Because if it's not I'll have to beat the shit out of dad.
I grew up without rules and bedtimes and things, I basically didn’t exist for my mom and my dad was never around and it really messed me up. I’m now 36 and although I have been very successful in life and my career I always struggled with discipline, motivation etc and I think a better structured environment would have set a better foundation for me in life. Edit: I didn’t mean any disrespect to my parents. My mother was 40 when she had me, and in her 50s she just wasn’t up to dealing with a belligerent teen so she was just like „whatever“. And my dad wasn’t around because he worked really hard and only came home on the weekends but it’s from him I got my work ethic and sense of responsibility, not because it was forced on me but because he lead by good example.
Honestly same, I had no boundaries or bedtime but when it came to material things, they always told me no so I grew up a no problem child who never asked for things unless my mom specifically told me I could get something. My dad was not really a dad, I don't even remember having a conversation with him without feeling nervous because I hadn't done it before. My mom was buys most of the time, so I spent a lot of time with my grandparents and nanny. She taught me and my brother legit everything that I know, we still keep in touch now that I'm 16
I grew up hating school so much, I would cry and throw tantrums every morning. I am glad my mom did not decide that I would happier without school. I have a degree today and I get to work for one of the biggest investment firms in my country. This is not love its pure neglect! I feel so bad for these kids.
Bless Finlay’s heart. What a smart, kind, self-conscious and independent little man. Wishing him the best in his new endeavours. Hopefully he will get to distance himself mentally from that neglectful household.
...so we are heading for a generation which cannot read and write??? That's scary, apart from learning no rules - so how are these kids supposed to "survive" in ANY job?? Illiteracy has been fought all over the world as we learnt that this is the basis and entry to any more or less qualified work! And attending school in e.g. Africa is a privelige not all kids enjoy... Actually, this is very scary... It is like the parents want to form an enclosure, confining these kids only to their "tribe"; but kids are supposed to grow up an leave the family, to live in society - with all it rules and boundaries... This father cannot let go his son to school ALTHOUGH he claims to bring them up to make their own decisions... That's- to end this- is above all sad!
Finley is like an ultra rare kid who strive for rules, order, learning, education even though being raised in a family that never teach all these. Theres so many parents out there who try so hard and teaching their kids about rules and stuff and their kids still didnt want to follow
Its not ultra rare . Most kids do need and crave structure, routine , boundries etc even if they push them boundries and what not at points. Its normal
What normal parent dyes a child's hair at 7 blows my mind let alone keeping them from learning reading and writing and too the dad howd you growup to work and keep your family (structure rules and learning )
@@briemorandin3640 I don't really think anything is especially wrong with dyeing their hair for them at their age if they want their hair to be a fun color. They're young - I would let them have fun. It's like playing dress up except with their hair. It's not like they have job interviews to look professional for or anything.
@@briemorandin3640 Absolutely! Atleast knowing how to read and Write will give them an Opportunity to Discover what they DO want to learn and give them more Options and Recourses when they're older and Really Start Thinking about their Future.
I was relieved to hear that he was trying to write 'club'. 🤣 Finlay is a smart boy. He knows that if he likes the 'nerd life' of school structure he will be an outcast in his own family and his mother has made it abundantly clear how 'disappointed' she is. He is too young yet to be able to endure that. 'The no rules life' are great as long as you don't break the rules. I don't think the parents see the irony. They are just as, if not more controlling and selfish than any other parent, but have also denied their children a chance of fitting easily into society or making a future for themselves.
Jeez there's nothing scarier than being around someone who's never been told no
Right!
Can't Imagine them As Teenagers.
Exactly! They Should Just do Homeschooling Which is Less Pressure than School, and it would still be EXACTLY the same.
Except the Kids have more RECOURSES to make their own decisions when they start getting older. Not 13 and JUST learning how to Read.
The Parents are Making the Decisions off THEIR EXPERIENCES, and they got to Choose and Learn What they did and didn't want to do. Their Children Deserve that As Well.
Not "this didn't work for me, and wasn't good for me, so my children can't either"
When they're Older She will Surely See the Reality of what she's doing.
You're hilarious 🤣
Except someone who's only been told no. From what I've seen, they're scarier.
When he said that at 13 years old he could not read/write it broke my heart. There is a difference between homeschooling and neglect.
Yeah
I definitely agree that it is neglect because he needs help, but from the Clips shown of him Trying to read and also how he speak into his phone. I am almost 100% certain he has dyslexia, I have dyslexia, and I do exactly what he does, but I had an amazing tutor, who helped me be able to read and write when I need to (if you don’t know what dyslexia is, it’s a neurological disorder where reading and writing and math is very difficult, but unfortunately, it is not fully understood by professionals)
Besides the reading and writing I think this is great. But yes i agree, there should be more priority on basic skills like that. Freedom and discipline are equally important. They give each other contrast.
Yikes
So when they become adults do they work? Or are supported by the government?
I was struck by a bit of hypocrisy: they said they supported what their kids want to do but then laid an emotional guilt trip on them for wanting to try school and making fun of them when they got home. Calling them aliens and asking them if they smelled different. That's not support, that sent a very clear message that you are now no longer one of us. That's shameful.
I had the exact same thougt. I liked that woman up untill that point. Her reaction goes against everything she preaches.
Yeah you can tell they're total hypocrites. They decide not to teach them anything academic but teach them how to start fires and build fences... that's obviously showing bias and influencing what they then do.
Absolutely shit parenting.
How to raise selfish, self egoists, with no understanding of boundaries. Hey "mom" your client is paying you for a service-not to take care of your kids and give an interview.
Yeah I noticed too, how disgusting
Archie is lucky to have his grandfather's support. Watching a child his age struggling to read is so heartbreaking.
I genuinely want to see these kids years later as adults and see if their upbringing was for the better or worse....
I have a feeling that most of them (except maybe Finn) are going to struggle a lot.
@@kennedyhuff But the world is changing drastically everyday so i guess only time will tell how they turn out 🤷🏾♀
@@vanessakimoli6281 Unless they can teach themselves boundaries they'll have a hard time is all I'm saying. This isn't a whole generation being raised like this, it's a very small number of kids and they'll suffer for their parents' neglect.
@@kennedyhuff Valid point.I guess as they grow older they may change the way they live rn because they'll all probably want different things in life.They're all around 9 so they may change their minds on going to school later on.
@@vanessakimoli6281 I also hope they change their minds on school.
That one child is so brave to want to go to school in an environment that discourages it. I pray that he finds the structure that he needs to thrive.
He left because he saw that public school is a state Nanny for the poor, it is a restrictive and repetitive prisión that turns people into zombies.
@@AbcAbc-nv9kz Can't say I completely disagree with that statement.
Me too and he probably doesn't want to get away from family some and make friends too
@@AbcAbc-nv9kz well he's gonna have to learn thing at some point of his life , school's zombie treatment gives you the knowledge to thrive. Money is everything in today's life agree or disagree , You're writing this comment on a full belly , Not for them . Jobs in the UK are underpaid for the unskilled . So when he doesn't have enough to buy to fill himself up , he'll steal murder and why I say so is they don't know No as an answer to everything . So basically Zombies who don't murder , rape , steal and just do what they want is way better than anyone who is without a boundary.
@@GauravSingh-vt9pg Highschool graduation is not enough for a job. Which means highschool failed at giving peole skills. Parents can teach you reading writing and arithmetic. Other than that, people need to turn their talents into solutions for basic income. A certification is necessary for technical fields. Other than that, people just need saving and investing skills. The only reason people work is to pay off debts. So higher education should be done around 30. So you can live debt free in your 20s and just save and invest.
"I don't care if she ever learns to read or write as long as she's happy." Your role as a parent it to prepare your child for adulthood. You're setting your kids up for failure. The real world is going to hit them like a ton of bricks.
I think shes just saying that to pull people out of zombie land. People learn on a need to know basis.
In AfrIca, the society will shun and discriminate you for not taking kids to school home schooling is a foreign concept to us
Seriously what jobs can they get if they can’t even read or write? Ok they can learn to cut hair from their mom but can they count and do math? Mom says this kind of style is 80 dollars and they gave me a lot of bills, that’s more enough right? Little do they know it’s like only 40 in one and five dollar bills so it looks like a a lot.
If they decided themselves to go back to school they would be so many grades behind for their age and that could be what makes them to quit before they even started. They get so many great teachers who can get them interested in music, art, history, writing etc. these kids won’t be able to get into college and feel like they’re missed out on a big experience. I hope the son and daughter who wants to go to school and have rules does good at school and catches up, maybe the other kids will see all they get to do and want to do it too. Edit. Oh no they don’t do school because of the rules and schedule! And probably because of their parents and siblings making fun of them for it, so much for the “supportive and accepting” they say they have with their kids.
And school isn’t just important for education but also for interacting with other kids and learn valuable social skills and experiences. Kids having rules and structure is also very important, I would’ve liked having more of it growing up. How are these kids gunna be able to support themselves or survive on their own? Their parents won’t outlive them
The parents have like brainwashed them that when they played with other kids they ended up just Interrogating them about the rules they have with their parents like bedtime. They said they wouldn’t hang out with them because they’re weird and have “too many rules”. What lil kid thinks like that?! I had friends with more stricter parents then mine and didn’t judge them for it and actually liked their parents and home life.
And she'll be very unhappy later on in life , if she never learns to write or read
Nailed it
I grew up like this. It's on par with neglect because what it really means is the parents have little interaction with a child. And I am still suffering, in multiple ways (as are my siblings) at 38 years of age. Absolutely abhorrent.
I have read that it is actually neglect in the book "Running on Empty". Highly recommend it
💪🏽🙏🏽
My ex grew up in a home exactly like these homes. He was never told no & he was given free reign to do whatever he pleased. He was taken out of school after he screamed & cussed out teachers.
He was violent & abusive bc he didn’t like the word “no.”
This is not a way to raise children. It’s laziness.
Your ex was a narcissist. He likely had a narcissistic parent. Had nothing to do with a permissive parenting style. Completely different issue.
He was never told not to not hit. Or cuss peoplr out. So how is it not the parenting style. They let him do it.
Live whould be just more easy if you let your kids do what they want..if i just let my kids sit all day and watched youtube i would never be tired or have a messy house... its just easy parenting and not care about the kids future.
@@FirstNameLastName-wt5tothey grew him so…
@@FirstNameLastName-wt5toI think it’s a bit of both. Like some kids are naturally empathetic and kind and others need to be taught to be
A mother thinking a kid doesn't need to learn to read or write is seriously lacking in parental skills.
Yes but the rest is a good idea
@@Yvlher No it isn’t. No one in their right mind would think this was an example of good parenting 😂
My friends daughter is 9 n can't read
I think she meant that they don't need to learn to read or write at that age, they definitely need to but age doesn't rlly matter so long as they can learn before age 10 at least
Maybe the parents want the kids to stay at the same literacy level as they are . Or the parents probably did not have a good experience when they went to school (they should realize thought that it does not have to be the same for their kids ). How would the kids know how it is???? Or at least, if they they go to a regular school, they should at least be home schooled.
I think it's hilarious that a family without rules creates a rebellious child that wants to clean, follow rules, and enjoys schoolwork.
Right...the nerve of that child to be so tidy and respectful 🙄 he should be ashamed of himself 😂...he's great
He's very smart and I hope he keeps this up so he doesn't have to struggle like the rest of his family
👍😊
The mother alienated the kids when they returned from school. This would make any child uncomfortable. There will always be consequence to bad behavior. I would rather not see my child behind bars.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 new parenting startegies. Write this point down for future generations ( just kidding)
Boundaries is an act of love and children flourish because of it. It’s those boundaries (such as eating a nutritious home cooked meal as opposed to eating ice cream for dinner at midnight) that sends the message that the parents cares for and loves their children. Anything less is just pure selfishness and laziness.
The parents are lazy.
You are right. Love and boundaries go hand in hand.
There's a difference between homeschooling and just ignoring your children's social and academic development. They are limiting their children's choices. More education means more choices. There are thousands of opportunities and careers they will never be able to aim for, but wow they can eat what they want. My heart aches for the son who wants school.
Exactly! I wanted to shake that mom when she said "I don't want her to work in an office!" Well mom, it's not YOUR choice. What if the child DOES want to work in an office one day but can't because her parents were lazy? It's sad.
If a child wants school and parents claim they live without rules still deny them of that, kinda contradicting. Give the child a chance!
Yes indeed. Lazy parenting.
I'm guessing the boy who DOES want order & schooling will do well for himself. But he'll have all the others saying he's "snobby" while constantly trying to bum off him. That's what my 1st husband & several of his brothers did to the hard-working brother who saved his money & was responsible.
Nonsense, Barbara! Once they are 18, they have the rest of their lives to pursue absolutely anything that they want to.
I can't believe Jenna took her eldest out of school because he was struggling to read and write, then never taught him how.
"If I need to write anything I'll just say it into my phone."
Sorry, kid, life isn't that easy, and your mother has failed you.
He may have a undiagnosed learning disorder? If hom and his parents aren't working on coping skills early it will only be even harder later.
@@carochan86 I thought the same thing. She mentioned how she didn't like how the school handled the situation but didn't say details. It's certainly possible they suggest he may need to be tested and the parents didn't like that idea
@@jessicamarie7322 they’d rather him be an idiot then get the support he needs to be smart
He probably has dyslexia hopefully he gets the proper help that he needs because he may say it doesn't matter but I bet it dose to him more then he wants ppl to know. He was very asheemed when he forgot the L in club... But that's dyslexia for ya 🙃
Finley is the shit. I like him.
Woman: “A child being kept safe is important”
Her baby: “Knife time”
Right!. So scary 😳
😂😂😂
it's a spatula
oh no nvm, thought u meant about the first baby ahhah
Wow im your 1.1k like💃🤭 congrats bestie
I was raised similar to this, and I grew up with a great amount of self-confidence. The problem began when I entered adulthood and the real world, and didn't know how to clean house, be organized, or hold my tongue. This actually caused me alot of real difficulties as an adult and left me opposite of self-confident , but insecure. You must teach your children right from wrong. They're going to look at you one day and ask you why you didn't... and they will not raise their kids the same way that will be the telltale sign if you were right to raise them this way.
I grew up with friends that had parents like this. I use to think "Oh they are so lucky! As an adult now. I am so thankful my parents were open minded, let me express myself BUT did have boundaries and rules. The family I knew had 11 kids. 3 were killed in a car wreck when they took the parents car out one night, 5 of them have been in and out of jail, 1 is in prison for 25yrs to life and 2 turned out decent and have their own kids, and those kids have rules & boundaries!!
I feel so lucky my parents didn't raise me like this. I can't imagine.
Just reading how those kids turned out let me know how terribly this parenting style is. Granted that is anecdotal and it’s only one set of kids but I think that would be the case for most kids in a scenario like this.
I know a family of home schooled kids they all loved books because their mom let them read freely and encouraged them to read without forcing them. They are/were all home schooled, total freedom, The two oldest a went to NYU and Yale. The younger ones still teens, taught themselves computer coding and the youngest builds guitar amplifiers at age 9. So sometimes it really works out for the best with no rules.
@@Hyperactiveknucklehead But they still got home schooled unlike these kids.... these kids won't be able to go to uni if they wish that easily
@@Hyperactiveknucklehead I wonder what their social lives are like
People who were never taught to respect other people's boundaries are a nightmare to deal with. They're unable to maintain relationships and can even become controlling and abusive. This level of neglect is scary.
It's come to the point that kids and teenagers start bothering and harassing adults for fun. I've experienced this myself over and over again, and the parents just keep watching or even laughing about this.
@@corinna4077 really?
That's insane. What sort of things they do ?
Exa try right ✅
That's exactly 💯 right ✅
And frequent jail and prison. Not all of them but it creates a recipe for it.
I find it disheartening how the one mother kept making comments about her two children that wanted to try out school.Calling them aliens, asking if they smelled different etc. It seemed like she was trying to guilt and shame them out of wanting to go to school rather than respecting and supporting their decisions about their education.
Scrolling through after writing my comment and we literally have said the same thing. I honestly didn’t see your comment before I wrote mine.
That stood out for me too, regarding the Mom.
I agree like she can't even parent right!!! They'll suffer in the long run when they're older and don't know how to interact
What you said about the comments "aliens" & "smelling different", really changed the kids mind about school.
...I'm pretty sure other comments were made too to the kids. Just Not heard on camera.
Kids need structure and discipline!!!
When that baby grabbed the knife, my heart skipped a beat & the mother just laughed & said "being safe". That was so Not Parenting right then!!!
I felt bad for Archie being taken out of school at 7yrs old, & now at 13yrs old couldn't read or write.
...Thank you to his grandfather for stepping up to help his grandson.
...& just when Archie is making good progress, the mother wants to go on a vacation & interrupt Archie's learning. Her father was Not Happy!!!
...Archie is an Awesome kid, but his grandfather was right...Archie Does Need to hangout with some friends.
Very "you can do whatever you want as long as what you want doesn't conflict with what I think you should want." Freedom but only how I think it should be. Definitely sabotaged the school trial.
Yeah, it was pretty gross. Odd that she would say earlier that she wanted them to have freedom to choose, and then they tried to choose for themselves she made them feel like shit.
Poor Finley is craving structure & rules so bad. He’s wise beyond his years. Children need structure & rules to learn boundaries & to strive in life.
I’ve known several families that raised children this way. Now the kids are 25+, still living at home and have severe depression. Ironic, since happiness was the goal
Got them there
Damn
100% agree w you. I was raised with my 8 siblings in a home with no rules. I begged to go to school and fought to go to university. I then became my family's wallet and not a person. My brother is 25 and can't read. It's been years since we've seen each ova but all of my siblings have never worked and don't even have bank acc. They all live at home and are on the government benefit. It's not right, I tell everyone please don't do this to your kids, happy stops when you realise at 18 you can't spell your own name.
This world is depressing. Dont blame on their upbringing
😐
I tell you guys, Finlay is gonna be huge. He sound so matured. He has plans for his future and he's aiming for an organized lifestyle. He also understands the importance of rules more than his parents. His mindset for a 12 year old is surprising, I can see a bright future ahead of him. Finlay is like that one protagonist in a movie who is born in a wrong family hahahah I just love how different he is from his family.
Well but all of this maturity comes from growing up and learning with their parents lifestyle, he wasn't born in the wrong family, he's just being able to grow up and be himself
Imung mama. having said that, i completely agree with you on that topic.
Matilda.
Without the telekinesis
Its like matilda, all her parents do is watch tv and they dont wanna learn anything, meanwhile matilda wants to read, and learn
For a kid whos given "freedom" and no rules, Findlay is really exceptional for WANTING to be clean and tidy, WANTING to go to school and do school work. Wishing him all the best
Because school can be fun. Especially at a young age you get to play with people other than your siblings you get to learn and pick your career instead of doing whatever get ps money
@@beansforlief5703 yea definitely but many kids (me when inwas a kid) would probably choose not to go lol
I would have choose to not go to school and learn online instead. I had learning disabilities and was bullied a lot.
At the end of the video, he and his sister that tried out school decided not to go. They'd be brilliant with parents with structure, but because of the freedom at home, in the end they preferred not to go to school, and therefore their potential more than likely will not be realized, which is such a shame.
He is such a treasure. I'm praying for him!🙏🏻💜
I can't imagine a parent not caring about their child not being able to read and write. Just blows my mind. I'm in agreement with Granddad...at least a tutor for reading and writing. I have a feeling that those kids will resent the parents one day. And it is lazy parenting. I'd hate to see how they act when they're in the "grown-up" world and don't get their way.
Well phrased. I ‘m agreeing with you❤
I definitely don't think these parents have the right to call other parents lazy when they can't even be bothered to teach their children how to read a book
I don't think its lazy. They just don't value reading and writing as much so a logical consequence of this is not teaching their kids how to read and write. It has nothing to do with being lazy is my point.
@@orwellianyoutube8978 well one of the moms said their kid didn't like reading, so now it's easier for them and less stressful..sounds kind of lazy or demotivated to me.
@@orwellianyoutube8978 thus disabling their children's future.
@@orwellianyoutube8978 so HOW are these kids every get a job if they can't read or write ?
It is lazy when you want no part in dealing with your kids in everyday life.
Man. Do a second documentary on this family when there're all adults. Everyone need some type of structure, especially children.
I nannied for 6 years. Kids thrive with structure. They obviously need space to explore and all. But this type of freedom can be scary and uncertain for kids. They learn not to trust you.
It makes me sad.
I really think that all children need schooling though whatever that may be homeschool Montessori etc etc. And kids need sleep as well as how to learn what is healthy to eat and how much of it. Without that little bit of structure you are setting your kids up for troubles when an adult
Very good suggestion... would be great to see how they panned out
Absolutely! I wonder what this kid's will think of societies rule's as they get older.
Exactly. They'll hate their parents
In other words: “ I don’t care if they’re broke and homeless in the future, as long as they’re happy.”
yesss as long as they're happy ,just in the same way about rich people,just because you're wealthy doesn't mean you're happy most of rich people has no morals and no happiness inside them that they're trying to fit in on the standard that society tell us who to be. Most of broke or poor people has a decent human morals that shines compares to yhe wealthy ones.
So money ≠ happy amrite?
And where's the "happiness" in being broke and homeless? These parents are pathetic.
@@xbvm Not entirely but yes, it can help bring happiness an awful lot. I don’t think those kids will be very happy living on the streets.
I think they won't be very happy if they are unemployed, homeless and hungry
The parents seem to be mostly afraid of school itself. I think Finley would absolutely thrive in school, but is being held back by his parents' fears. I hope he cycles around to schooling again. (as someone who loved school myself)
Yeah I agree. It's about the parents needs, of course.
As a mental health professional for children in care… If I’ve learned anything it’s that kids need structure and boundaries as much as they need love and support. I understand why a parent might want to homeschool their child. But not implementing any rules or boundaries gives them a false sense of reality. One day, they will be forced to venture out into the real world where there are real consequences.
As a teacher I have learned the same thing as you. The kids who are raised without boundaries and consequences tend to become manipulative and compulsive liars as they can’t handle facing their own words and actions. They have zero coping skills around self responsibility; it’s very sad to watch, and a challenge to the management of the classroom community.
I went to school, I hated it, but i liked to learn. School taught me to hate working as a team, because the other kids wanted to be there less that me, they didn't like to learn, so I was either doing all myself or getting bad grades because of other people. They didn't like me because I liked studying so I made no friends, I don't have one friend from school or high school that I still talk to.
I did learn things a school but pretty sure I learned more and more useful at home and by myself. Plus my job now is based on all the skills I learned outside of the system, not even at university.
So I think it will all depend on the kid, and surely not leave all up to them to the point they can't even read... you can let them make their own choices while still guiding and intervene when it's going too far.
They aren't even educating them. Their kids should be in care.
This isn’t homeschooling. This is just laziness.
Not true. I was raised that way and I'm a successful person. I have 3 masters degrees, 3 properties and I'm a lawyer. :) you dont have a false sense of reality. You learn facing consequences, which is closer to the real world.
The young boy that likes structure and wants to go to school has more sense than the parents. The fact that the parents aren't open to that and want a trial is odd, especially since they say they want the kids to make their own decisions. Sounds like they are actually forcing their own ideals on the kids. In fact the parents are making rules for the kids to follow even though they are saying there are no rules
Yes, and the parents made the kids feel like oddballs in the family for even wanting to go to school. The final interview with the boy, Findlay, made clear that his mom had changed his mind for him. He spoke about valuing freedom and fun, rather than learning and having friends like he had said originally.
Well said 👍
That's exactly what I thought
At least not all humans have lost their common sense thanks fam
What are y’all talking about. The boy wanted to go to school and they arranged for him to go to school 🙄
It made me angry how grand dad paid for a tutor and the second the teenager starts showing improvement, mom plans for them to go traveling. That's messed up. That's 100% depriving her son the progress he could get.
That part was so sad. He clearly has a learning disability. I understand that some schools are really bad places for kids with those issues, so I can see why she may have been right to remove him & change focus for awhile to build his self-esteem up. But once he started showing such progress with the tutor, that should have become the priority. Reading and writing are life skills.
It's like the mom purposely trying to go against her dad to show that she is right
@@JB-pj1ey I’m thinking he might not actually have a learning disability. In about six weeks he has progressed so well that his tutor think he only needs about one more year to be completely caught up. That’s incredible progression and highly unlikely in a child with a LD. Chances are he’s just horribly uneducated and it simply takes time to catch up. He’s 13 and has been out of school for more than six years. That means he left school at age 6-7. He was very young and his reading likely hadn’t gone very far yet. The kid needs a proper education.
I’m 100% for people having choices, including children but depriving someone of the ability to read is incredibly cruel. If you can read then you can do anything you want to do. It opens up so many doors and possibilities. Isn’t that what these parents want for their children? Isn’t that why they’re doing this, to give their kids choices? If they can’t read then they have no choices. At least Finley’s mother (can’t recall her name at the moment) is teaching her children how to read and giving them the opportunity to get an education.
@@dalhaw6760 that’s exactly what it is. She doesn’t want to admit she made the wrong decision. This is all about the parents….NOT the kids
My mother had severe mental illness and raised me basically hands off. As long as I didn’t bother her I could do whatever I wanted. I was placed in foster care around 10. I loved the group homes and children’s facilities. They had rules and regulations. You knew when it was time eat, what to wear and how to act. There were consequences if you didn’t follow the rules. I hated it when I was returned to my mother. I’d much rather be in a place with structure.
What happened to your dad?
@@8luvbug did not know who he was until I was an adult. So he wasn’t around at all
Likewise. My mom was off partying and cheating on my step dad 24/7(I was the product of that) , while my dad worked as a full time trucker to put food on the table and pay bills so he was never home. I am the youngest of 5 girls. My mom abandoned us for months at a time with no food or anything. My 2nd oldest sister was 12 and had to steal food from grocery stores for us. We were dirty, starving and sick. It took years for CAS (Canadian CPS/DCS) years to remove us. I was crown ward from the age 5 onward.
Kids need support, structure, life skills, and skills on how to process emotions properly. I lost one of my sisters 4 years ago, and blame my mom 100%.
That’s exactly how I would raise my kids
Same for me. My mother had severe mental illness. And it did a lot of harm. I would opt for living with strangers at 9 yrs old to get away from that neglectful environment where I was eating frozen pancakes straight out of the freezer to live because my mother wouldn't get out of bed.
My parents let me do whatever I wanted from 14 on and all I wanted was rules. I wanted guidance to tell me how to be a strong healthy individual. It took years for me to correct the lifestyle I had. I’m not finished yet. I’m 43 and been fixing the sabotage from my childhood since 25.
I’m glad you are able to fix the sabotage on your own. It’s not easy, and it takes a lot of awareness. Keep up the great work
Honestly, most of these kids seem the same. No rules but they still ask their parents "can I do this?" They want structure! Even the one child said that other kids' parents have a lot of rules because they don't want them to get hurt.
i had a friend as a child my nextdoor neighbor and i was really jealous that she got to do whatever she wanted no rules and go wherever, when i told her that she said no i wish i had rules because at least your parents care where you are and if you are safe and that really hit me. we were only 11/12 at the time and i realized that my parents being overprotective kept me out of trouble and provided structure something she never had.
Jesus loves you and cares for you
Same I was 9 tho.... it just shouldn't happen 😢
I am an early childhood teacher and I can 10000% tell you that Children thrive in a structured environment. They crave stability, security and predictability... it's the school system and anxious parents that has failed children. All children learn differently. But these parents have taken no rules to the extreme.
I agree 100%, as a teenage girl myself, I believe that some rules are necessary for a kid’s development towards adulthood. I believe that you should allow children to express themselves and for children themselves to put boundaries but this is too much. How will these kids be prepared for society? They simply won’t. How will they even figure out what they want in life, who they are, what will they do when they’re put in difficult situations if some can’t even write or read. I am not against children being themselves and expressing themselves but this lifestyle is detrimental for a kid.
Having freedom and gentleness is different from having a free for all. It's neglect tbh. You as a parent are there to teach your children how to care for themselves and be adults.
My daughter has ADHD and she thrived in structure. Everything would spiral without structure in my home, when she was a kid. I’m happy to report she’s 25 and a responsible adult now.
Structure gives most of the people some stability when they can’t be with their loved ones. But when you can stay all day every day with the most important people I’m not sure you think about sructure anymore.
Agreed. This is rough to watch. I’m 100% for allowing children to follow their curiosity. But within reason. Children need boundaries and stability to feel safe as well as to be able to respect the boundaries of others as adults.
I had a friend who was raised like this with no rules. She said she was scared and felt not safe all the time. She never knew if what she was doing was something that could get her hurt. Kids deserve boundaries. It makes them feel safe.
Wow, that's so sad ... Unfortunately it doesn't suprise me 🤐
I was raised like this. I can’t say I remember feeling unsafe during childhood but I can say that whenever I was around other “normal” kids I felt less than. And as an adult today I struggle with a lot of social things other people don’t struggle with.
It would probably result in them struggling once they’d leave home because suddenly there’s rules everywhere
@@samcoker9510 like what?
For boys and girls it's just so important. Imagine them being in a relationship with someone they won't even realize how negative their world views are as soon as the subject of education comes up. I know I commented it elsewhere already but I'm really bothered by the idea of a young girl being kept in the dark ages by her own MOTHER who does have the freedom of reading and signing contracts, making her own money etc. The daughters are set up to be financial and emotional abusive relationships and so are the sons.
Skye's case breaks my heart. She wants to go to school but she's uncertain, and she's getting bad guidance instead of the encouragement she needs. She's being raised to be emotionally and mentally crippled.
I hate how hypocritical Gemma and Lewis are.They are fine if the choices their children make are fun and unconventional but if their child wants some actual structure in their life they try to change that child's mind.
Definitely noticed that too. They have extremely nice kids but saying things like “the aliens are home” and “ do they smell different” was clearly to help reinforce to all that school is a negative thing.
Exactly. Allowing your kids to do whatever they want. Unless they want to do something conventional.
This^^
EXACTLY they have no rules yet 2 want to actually go to school, and it's a "BAD" Thing..... So messed up
I feel so sorry for their son who is obviously craving stability.
All Children need structure, boundaries, and rules. I’m not saying be overbearing, controlling, and stern like my mother was; I’m just saying, raising them freely like this is not preparing them at all for the real world.
Yes, there is a balance to be had.
I think the right place is somewhere in the middle. Rules are important where safety, manners, and education are involved. They have to be safe, respectful of other people, and prepared for the world they'll live in when their parents are gone. Freedom is great for other things that aren't so important and letting them have fun and express themselves.
Yeah uh...do these kids have any real skills that will help them? Kids out of school have plenty to learn! Teach them to hunt, fish, climb trees, forage, find gemstones, cook, make medicine, work on cars... ANYTHING USEFUL would be nice FFS
Boundaries and rules make kids feel safe. Their brains aren’t developed enough to let them run their lives
And most children actually want that too! A child with boundaries and rules always know where they stand and have stability in their life. I’ve seen children with less structured lives subconsciously seek out structure. I don’t know- this seems crazy. Plus it’s a giant mess- the lawn never gets mowed and the houses are full of crap- I would never find peace living like that-
At MINIMUM, Kids need to know how to READ AND WRITE AND Know how to Count and Do Basic Math
I think it's crazy that a 13 years old is illiterate nowadays. His mother failed him and he's going to struggle later. He'll regret it. In the real world who's gonna want to hire an illiterate man? It's basic stuff you just need in everyday life.
@@beatricetancredibt indeed it is. The poor kid wanted to paint "club" on the caravan but struggled with that.
well unless the child has learning problems, thats hard to promise all the time yk. and other mental issues:/
Absolutely! Reading gives them the foundation they need to learn themselves anything they want to. My children pick what they want to learn about with our home school, but they couldn't possibly learn if they couldn't read or do basic math. Unless there's a disability, there's no excuse.
Honestly like I get that it was hard seeing her child struggle and be frustrated with it but I don’t think fully pulling him out of school and saying screw education was the way to go. I think the young boy just needed a different style of learning. What his grandfather did was great it’s clear that he’s improving with the more hands on and personalized approach. Perhaps if his parents had went that route originally he would have been much more proficient.
Loving your kids and enjoying being with them is fine. The inability to be apart from them in order for them to attend school is not. This is child abuse. Children need boundaries and guidance to develop a genuinely healthy sense of self, to learn self-control and to learn how to successfully interact with society. They need an appropriate education (either traditional school or real homeschooling) in order to be able to function in the world and to be prepared for employment. These parents are setting their kids up for failure.
Totally agree. It's abuse.
As a parent this is the most disturbing documentary about parenting I have ever watched. This is definitely not home schooling, this is outright negligence in the name of freedom
This and the extreme religious family are the worst, i guess they're and opposite ways of extremely dangerous and stupid
@@pepsicola7204 The second family is really not bad. The only problem is that mum decided to not get a tutor. I love how they have set meal times and bed times.
Not to mention I started shooting guns and bow and arrows by age 5, I built my first bonfire all by myself at age 8, chopped down trees by 10, used a power washer my first time at 9, cleaned out a house that my father rented out at age 5, walked to the corner store for supplies and a treat or 2 by age 7, fixed my first clogged sink at age 7, built my own bird house from scratch at age 7, cleaned out gutters on a roof by age 14, helped build a house by 15, fixed my parents roof at 16 and baked my first treats at age 4 and was sue chef by age 10. Also I went to school every day, graduated at 17 from high school, college by 19 and played all sorts of sports and was very involved in music. I grew up with rules but a lot of freedom to be a kid and learn things that are needed to be independent and successful
@@tattedmamma_91 sounds amazing
@@lilylebowsky5908 It was. Most of my public school friends that did not live in my development were jealous and called me rich when in reality my father just knew how to manage money. On the flip side in my private highschool I was called lumber jack Jane and not treated as well because I drove an old manual pick up truck around my 103 acres of land instead of having 4-wheelers or horses or pools. Kids can be very cruel and I don't blame these parents for not wanting their kids to be bullied.
this is called “i had too many kids so i don’t care anymore”. structure is essential in everyone’s life. they won’t survive in the real word.
No they won't I've seen this in real life its absolutely tragic what happens to children of parents that are too lazy to set rules.
This is a threat to society
And villain origin story
R u blind? How is that not care?? They just do things differently. Thts all
@@aiden_zae it might seem harmless, but people have rules, we have rules in live, you don’t have to be a strict parents but teaching their kids that rules exist is important. Imagine you grew up being an adult and not being able to receive a simple no from other ppl. Not knowing that sometimes you can’t do a certain things freely because they’ve never taught what’s appropriate and what’s not. Parents supposed to teach and raise their kids, even animals do too. By letting them do exactly ‘whatever’ they want without any consequences will become a threat in the future, trust me.
Watching that 13 year old kid trying to read probably year 1 level…. That’s just disgraceful. It’s a form of abuse for these kids - holding them back from basic reading and writing and a right to an education.
And he seemed so proud of himself when they filmed him at his lesson! He didn’t say it, but I could definitely see it in his face. I love that mom is encouraging him to follow his passions, he seems like a great drummer and archer and possibly even has a cool future doing art! But it seems like mom just gave up when he was struggling when he was younger, rather than helping him at home. Knowing how to read is such an important life skill, whether or not you’re well written. You should be able to read signs to get places, food labels to avoid allergies, read a recipe to make the food you want? Warning signs, news articles, I could go on forever. Does he need to know how to write a perfectly written essay? No, not really. But reading is such an important life skill to even basic SURVIVAL at this point. I’m so glad grandpa pushed for the private lessons. He seems like a good kid, I hope everything turns out okay for him
Wow 😲 daily wild house 🏠‼️
I agree I was so scared writing my comment but lucky I’m not the only one that thinks this my kid misses school because of a reason I still ring the school update them why he didn’t attend unless my kids are very sick if not there at school everyday
It's not abuse at all...
Children have the right to make decisions. Some children have problems because of traditional ideas, such as schooling and love. Not letting children be themselves is abuse, dude.
Please think before you comment. Your words could be very hurtful.
I'm not saying I agree with everything, but children should definitely have the right to say no.
Also, it's not like the kids are dumb/aren't learning anything. All people learn new things each day. Depressed kids shouldn't have to stay.
Honestly, your closed minded words were disgraceful.
@@yerinbaekscandlelight you clearly don’t have kids. It is abuse to deprive your kids of an education. That’s being closed minded. You need basic skills in life to function. Reading is important, maths is important, science and History. It’s a parents responsibility to ensure there kids are set for life.. and by allowing them to say ‘no’ to learning isn’t the best for that child. That boy was 12 and didn’t know how to read basic preschool level. You need to read in life - signs, maps, medicines, even to get a job. I think perhaps if they can’t do mainstream school, then homeschool is the way to go. But to throw your arms up in the air and not offer any form of proper education is a detriment to any child. That’s fact
In homeschooling in America this is called Unschooling. It is a method that does work well with some kids. Most parents though, make a point of incorporating basics like reading, writing and counting into the day. It does give you freedom to really delve into a topic that they want to learn about. For my son, who is dyslexic, it gave me a way to sneak in cognitive therapies for his reading while making it a game. I did a mix of unschooling and schooling. Unschooling understands that many kids can learn more if they are out and about with the parent. I took him everywhere. As a result, he knew how to hold conversations with adults, knew how to read a map, could plan camping trips by age ten, does mathematics way better than I do, and is very secure in himself and his abilities. I did it for three years as the district was not helping him with reading and his dyslexia.
wow very cool! they never taught us how to have a conversation with an adult at school
Yes there are nuances here that are incredibly important! We need to tune into how our child learns best
They’re taking this to an extreme here. Yes, children need to have a degree of autonomy. They want to eat ice cream for dinner… okay, whatever. But kids also need structure and boundaries to prepare them for the real world. Education is very important and shouldn’t be neglected in the name of “happiness”
Yeah and growing kids need fruits and veggies!!
My family has totally open and flexible meals limited only by what we have in the house. (Sorry, we don't have ice cream or sweets.)
Exactly what I'm thinking
AMEN, Stella!!
Exactly. People should be more balanced, everything is currently being radicalized.
Parent: We give are kids total freedom to do what they want.
Child: "I want to go to school."
Also Parent: "Uh, I don't know how I feel about that."
right? isn't that rules too?
Frightening
Disgusting
They, as parents and role models, made fun of the idea and all the time were using their influence on the kids to talk them out of it. In the end talking about how this decision of not going confirms their beliefs that their way of life is best...hypocrites.
I agree with Archie's Grandpa. The kid is 13 and needs to be able to read, write, know basic math and have friends. The mother seems like she wants to be his friend more than a mother. How are these kids going to keep jobs if they don't even have the basic skills.
@Desiree CC too bad for Archie you need to be able to read, write, and do basic math to run your own business
@Desiree CC it really isn't, it's pretty hard to start and run a successful business.
Sadly unless someone intervenes or the children take it upon themselves, once they are legally adults, to get proper education chances are the taxpayers will be paying for them in some form of welfare or disability.
I thought the same thing, like what is he going to do when he's older!?
@Desiree CC To run your own business you to need to be able read, write, and do math. Depending on your bussiness you might be required to fill out permits, get loan documents, read and sign a lease or rental agreement, be able to balance your business accounts, figure out employee payroll, know your states laws when it comes to employment or business regulations and a whole shit ton of other stuff. Not to mention if you go into something like food service you would be mandated to pass a safe serve as well as other certifications to show you are running a clean and healthy business. I mean even someone who wants to knit blankets or make jewellery and sell it online need to know how to read/write/and do math. They couldn't get a website set up, take customer orders, ship out merchandise, balance their profit/loss margins, or order material from vendors without those basic skills. Running your own business is a risky gamble. It takes lots of time, organization, structure, as well as a good business idea. Yes they could have people working for them like an accountant or someone to deal with online orders and shipping but that would require paying these individuals which can put a large dent into any profit the company makes.
And we are the ones that have to deal with them.... Thanks so much.
Freedom doesn’t mean no discipline, no boundaries, no structure, no awareness, consequences, or sense of their surroundings. These kids will grow into a dysfunctional menace, and they’ll struggle immensely in our intolerant world.
Did you watch this documentary? I actually appears that they do bave freedoms but are not truly allowed to do whatever they want. It seems more like the parents have reevaluated what is really worth it and telling their kid not to spray paint on the camper wasn't worth it. There is definitely a difference between neglect and giving children freedom 🥰
@@tiffanyroth9722 like let kids play with a pickaxe? or cook rice with a baby over the stove?...
@@tuyenerotuyenero2202 or the baby playing with a knife
They're raising their kids to live in paradise, not on earth. Earth has very strict rules and timings regarding work, learning, health, and happiness. There is no happiness without discipline on earth.
Amen to that!!! So sad for these kids.
Even our culture & American society teaches we need to follow rules (the laws of the land), order, government, police, etc. It protects us from total anarchy
The perfect depiction of the devouring mother and father. Raise them in a way that depend on you solely, rob them of any social maturity, but they'll never leave you, they'll never leave home. This is truly sad.
Yep! They are paralyzed for life.
Exactly. The dad talking about not liking outside influences disturbing his family unit says it all.
wow! very true!
Sounds like something Jordan Peterson would say lol
@@avapilsen One of the authors and clinical psychologist of our time. That's one of things that I learned from him, that and the oedipal complex from Dr Freud
“No rules” means “anti-social.” All societies have rules. If you don’t guide your children on how to function in a family, they won’t have any idea how to function in society.
Well arent they some lazy non caring parents ..what a shame..soooo sad for the kids!!!ONE DAY THEY WILL HAVE TO ANSWER TO SOME AUTHORITY!!!!
Read about Cluster B and A personality disorders. If anything forcing people into heiarchies causes worse effects like the roman empire etc
That's what came to mind too
Imagine a society full of individuals who have never been told no. will be supporting a whole lot more of individuals who neither want to work or are incarcerated.
This is the saddest thing Ive ever seen. “We just want them to be happy and do whatever they want” kid wants to wake up early and go to school to feel accomplished...mom proceeds to shame him for wanting that. So sad
Yeah I didn't get that part myself.
Yeah it did feel like his mom was not letting him have his own choice there.
My friend raised her kids like that: Her marriage broke down, one son is on drugs for years, the other one has no contact with his mother for many years now. I think she regrets her decision deeply and I feel very sorry for that family. And I blame myself for not speaking out more distinctly in time. Nobody did. We all were afraid of her reaction. But if you love someone you have to talk straight to that person, especially if kids are involved. It makes me very sad.
I doubt she would listen. She might felt at that time she was doing what's right and all of you were wrong. She might also wanted to feel special by doing something "special".
Like which? None of the families presented raised kids the same, just under some broad term labeled "no rules" which mostly didn't seem particularly true. (The non reading 13 yr old's situation was concerning).
One family removed their child from school because she was miserable and struggling, and instead are providing an education that is individualized for her... as time goes on, they agree more and more on how to make it work and don't seem anything like a family that is in crisis or breaking down.
One family decided to raiser their kids by spending all their time with them and teaching them basics, AND non standard curriculum and skills with both parents sharing parenting responsibilities equally, and always with their children. Again, nothing about the family indicates crisis or trauma in their relationships.
I keep seeing comments comparing the families presented to someone they know whose life was very negatively impacted by their unconventional upbringing, but when they describe the uprising, it really isn't anything like how these families are. So when you refer to your friend WHICH of these families was she like?
@@mimiadams247 Like the family who was not happy with their two kids trying to go school. But: We live in Germany, so the boys had to go to school, it is mandatory here, even homeschooling is not allowed. But their mother opposed everything, teachers, curriculum just everything. And the boys did not find a way to fit in for very long, because they were very aggressive and unsociable. In the end they managed, as teenagers, as they are very intelligent. Now in their twenties they struggle both with drugs or mental problems. But I must admit that all children in that documentary seem to be friendly, nice and sociable. And I am impressed that they are very active and move happily around all day - something I do not watchoften nowadays. So I do see advantages in raising kids more freely, but in my opinion they should get the best education possible, in order to have all opportunities in live. And it is important to learn, how to get along with all kind of people, outside your family.
Sadly, it probably would have just ended your friendship. It was her choice. Not your fault
It’ll probably be telling more when these kids get a bit older & feel like ok I can run this let’s see how far I can take it. These parents won’t know what hit them…smh
I'm not judgmental but dang I want to see these kids in 20 years.
Prison
drugs
Still living with their parents
Addicts. They learn to only and always satisfy themselves in any way. They always want and get immediate gratification. They could have serious problems with always wanting to meet their desires right away as adults. This can result in anything like video game addicts, gluttony, drug addicts, you get the idea. I have met people whose parents pretty much let them do what ever they wanted and that was the results every time. They battle with addiction. They can't conquer any addiction without replacing it with another. It's very sad.
They'll probably be your boss.
I grew up without school, not so much no rules but I’d cry my way out of things and I never got punished and I can say now, not going to school and not having structure rlly screwed me over. Feel horrible for these kids.
As a nanny, I would never, ever, ever be okay working with a family like this. These poor kids.
I would rather be a janitor. I feel you
They typically don’t need or have nannies. Mom is home with them, shes not checked out, not in drugs, not watching TV and eating BonBons. I am all for this. I’m a nanny and a postpartum Doula. The relationships between the kids are typically very close without sibling rivalry that stays with them into their adulthood. Their raw skills put them ahead of the typical public school student. It’s amazing.
well it wouldn’t work because they have zero rules and are a liability
I dont understand how they think kids, used to having no rules at all, will be able to function in a society which is full of rules. Without some type of structure you will not even be able to hold down a job...
@@HelenEk7I totally agree with you but I find it interesting how now with the ever growing online economy kids brought up this way have more opportunities to make a living then say just 10+ years ago. So how before these kids would most certainly be set up for failure, now it’s not a sure thing. I still think they would benefit from some structure and discipline. It’ll just be a matter of time before we see if this experiment turns out ok or completely fails these kids.
"As an adult you get to choose...so why can't they" well sir that's because they're kids and they don't know what's best for themselves. The frontal lobe of your brain which is in charge of reasoning and long term planning (among other important things) doesn't fully develop until 25... allowing a child barely even 10 to make their own decisions is just terrifying.
Allowing children to make their own decisions is a part of important developmental progress. Should the two who decide to attend school against their parents beliefs be forced not to just, because adults raising them say no?
He is 31 with 7 kids, I don't think he has ever been told no.
@@Prawnstar. sure a child should be able to make certain decisions with GUIDANCE from adults that have the kid's future in mind. Keep in mind that decisions and consequences have different levels of severity. Sure a child can choose what to wear and small things like that, gaining the right to make more decisions on their own as they mature. If a kid was born knowing how to do everything for themselves then the legal age of adulthood would be 0. The second point is good tho. No, I don't think they should be forced not to attend school. Giving your child proper schooling is a law for a reason and a parent shouldn't try to talk a child out of a good decision. Imo that's just hypocritical.
Edit: i didn't mean in my original comment that children shouldn't be able to make any decisions for themselves. A simple wording mistake.
Yeah and then there are some parents who don't let you make your own desicion even when you are 18
@@airapink815, perhaps, but that’s not what this video is about.
You can raise happy healthy kids with structure and discipline! You don’t have to control them but show them that their decisions have consequences good or bad. Don’t stifle their creativity but they need to know right from wrong! Can’t just give them everything they want either! Discipline is needed!
Says you.
@@katepausig8562 what?
Totally agree. There is a reason children have parents. For more reasons then love and making sure their kids are safe. It’s about making well rounded productive human beings. This freedom isn’t doing anything but creating hooligans. It’s sad
Positive parenting... love and logic. There are lots of ways to gently let children begin to develop a way of moving through life with conscientiousness. My child has ADHD and SPD. I think he needs a little extra help with emotional regulation and executive functioning. I could see him languishing educationally like Archie if I didn't set up a structure and boundaries. He learns A LOT from patterning and outside influences due to his non-neurotypical nature. I think this style of living offers much, as does the world of "rules" and like many things, a personalized blend of styles with the child's temperament in mind seems to be best.
@@ashashwater 😂😂
Met a parent and daughter who didn't know how to read and write. Daughter was 20. Mother was almost 50. They needed to fill out government forms but wasn't able to do since they don't know how to read. Even simple things like checking if married, widow, single. They don't know because they can't read. Learning to read and write is a must even if you don't want to send your kids to school. Please teach them to read and write. What if they need to buy medicine etc.
As someone with dyslexia, I too had a "block" when it comes to reading. So, my mom took me out of school and got me tutoring and bought me books on horses (my favorite animal at the time). She didn't just let me stop. And yes, I wanted to stop many times. But now I'm so thankful that she pushed me! I would not have the life or job I have now if I hadn't learned coping mechanisms. Plus, I found a love of reading. Thanks Mom! Thanks for pushing me when I needed it!
That's wonderful❤
Your comment just made me calm, i appreciate your mother's efforts :) 💕
I have 2 dyslexics. It's HARD WORK for them to learn to read. They started w/ tutoring then moved to a special school. I wouldn't like for them to have wasted time in the school system getting little to no appropriate instruction--it happens all the time!
@@musicmama2864 True! My mom was the same. However, it sounds like you are pushing them to learn. You are not taking them out of school because you don't want them to push through the struggle. My mom homeschooled me after my diagnosis, but it was no cakewalk. I worked harder at home than any of my school friends. And I'll admit to wanting to stop many times and wishing my mom wouldn't push me, because it was hard. But now, I'm so thankful for the growth pain at the time. I would not have grown like I did and developed the coping mechanisms I did if she had not pushed me. I was a child and could not see beyond it being hard in the moment. That is my problem with these parents- they are not pushing the children to do the hard things now, so they will be ill-prepared for when they hit real life later. Life has hard times and requires hard work. These children will have to grow up eventually, and it will be a lot more painful as an adult. The parents are choosing to be comfortable rather than prepare their children.
If your mother was with you every step of the way I wouldn't call it pushing I would call it guidance. Which is a parents job. To guide their children to be an adult that can contribute to life & society.
I feel like sometimes people do this because they had authoritarian parents growing up and are trying to overcorrect
I knew someone like this. She sent the kids to Lutheran school for quite a few years. The kids knew absolutely nothing except God at that school. Especially the middle boy. The youngest didn’t get as much because she wasn’t going to school much yet. By the time she did they transferred to regular public school and there definitely was a large gap in knowledge. (The kids only went to public school because the money dried up and their mom and dad couldn’t afford religious school anymore.)
That mom basically planned to only raise the kids until 16 because that’s when she grew up and became an adult. Something to that effect. I think she was a foster kid when she was younger. Instead she ended up quitting when the oldest girl turned 13. About the same with the boy. That’s when the kids started living with friends. Couch surfing. That oldest child also got a felony for driving at 12 to pick up something from the gas station for her mom. Her mom told her to. She did it all the time. This time, she got caught. Except that’s of course not what the story was when cops showed up. She allowed her daughter to get a felony at 12 and lied and said the kid stole the car.
Only the youngest stayed with her mom until just about 18. Though mom dipped and moved out of state before the youngest even left high school or had her 18th birthday. Nowadays I hear the mom has returned and is living with the youngest and middle child. No, they’re not living with her. She’s living with them. Apparently the rich aunt (mom’s foster sister) and rich uncle (mom’s foster brother) are sick and tired of her and sent her back home. Both sent her packing.
The kids are doing okay. The oldest is working (no college education), I think all three of them graduated HS early. The oldest was a receptionist then she worked in a mail room. Had a baby and gave him up for adoption. (Baby is okay and happy living with his new family.) The middle child just finished mechanic school and the youngest is still in college (2nd year is finishing up I think). They just could’ve used some more help and if they had that they might not have had to raise themselves or they could’ve made less extreme mistakes. The youngest has done the best out of all of them. She’s a smart girl. Though she has some mental hang ups. She was taking anti-depressants at one point. Not sure about what she’s going through now.
Struggling with this currently. My parents were definitely strict and yet it's not like it got me anywhere, but at least I'm always discussing with my SO on what the heck to do with kids one step at a time.
@@FullmoonPhantom-dn2sr Damn. I did think I could hear of a worse parent. Sure she didn't hit them or abuse them but goodness the neglect is rancid!
@@ariannasilva4462 Unfortunately she did. At least one time with the oldest daughter when the daughter was 12. She punched the girl. She wasn’t the mother that beat her kids everyday at least to my knowledge, but it wasn’t a off the table either. There was at least some going on. The boy also had learned at some point to threaten his sisters with knives. I think he’s much better now, again, they all are. They’re childhood was very chaotic though. That was the first time I realized how dangerous ultra religious families were. This family and another showed me that. Though even as a child I still had not yet realized the bigger picture of what I was seeing and experiencing.
@@FullmoonPhantom-dn2sr
So basically...no planning, no structure... rolling along with life.. as it comes
Sounds like no taking responsibility for one's own actions either....extreme immaturity
🤦🏻♀️
Ah yes just what we need. More young boys not being taught the concept of "NO"
Exactly what I thought
And girls
What about young girls?
I mean, I would say that’s an important concept for any child to learn
@@Sarah-qm9lk same
Thank you to the grandfather, who is paying for a tutor. Way to go Grandpa! You are giving that boy a few options in life.
My parents did that … not recommended, as adults we don’t like working in a company, because we don’t like bosses… also no one finished college… mostly of us are insecure about being around people… we are not normal people … I think is very important to kids to have rules , go to school, interacting with outside people, not only our family.
I’m really sorry to hear that. That’s not fair to you. I know a little about what it’s like not to feel “normal” and it’s can be rough. Keep your head up. I went back to school at 30 and I chose a top career in aircraft maintenance. My alcoholism pushed me behind a lot. Just do what you can to be the best you, that’s all that matters. Lots of love ❤️
I concur, I was one of those children! But I mustered up and got my degree, on to the next one!!
@@dollskull86 congrats on that! ❤️
@@MachoJeans9 Thank you! 🙏🏾
I grew up with rules. I went to school and was very successful academically. I spent most of my time with people outside of my family. I didn't finish college though. I don't like working in a company. I don't like bosses. I'm insecure about being around other people. I'm not normal. I've always longed to feel closer to my family of origin, but that sort of bonding will never occur. I would've been more independent, happy, and secure had I been raised in this way.
Parents: “We want our kids to be independent and have the ability to make decisions for themselves😃”
Finley: *makes decision to go to school*
Parents: “No, not like that”
Bingo! It's not about giving their children freedom at all. It's about CONTROLLING their children. Mom of 7 says it over and over "i'm losing them".
They literally let them go and try it and we’re going to support a decision to go?
@@annie.hi. yeah they were but you could clearly see how much they didn’t like it and were sort of criticizing them about it, calling them aliens when they came home and such. They were trying their best to be nice but both of them emphasized how much they didn’t want them to go and that they were loosing them to the system and stuff. But they did let them go which I was surprised about since they seemed so adverse to it.
@@optimysticpeaches they were teasing them. Obviously the parents supported giving it a try. That’s why they set up the trial. They expressed their feelings of sadness that they would miss them. Do you really think those kids went to a public school and were like “hey this is so fun! I want to do this every day of my life!”? It’s really not surprising that they went and realized it wasn’t what they hoped it would be. Even for kids that enjoy traditional academic learning, school is not a fun place to be for so many hours of your life.
@@annie.hi.
Teasing at a decision like that is not good. It could easily make the child hesitate.
Your username checks out, are you similar to them?
School is beneficial, educate is a necessity and a right. There may be bad kids but so are good kids. Just like life, you deal with it and make the most out of it. No turning back or quitting, just moving forward for betterment regardless
It's absolutely healthy to tell your kids no and give them responsibility and structure. Those are tools they'll need as adults.
Exactly how are they meant to learn how to develop healthy boundaries if they've never been given any
I agree with lenient parenting and not over managing everything. But an extreme of any end is still bad. You should lead but not force, and let them learn from their own mistakes. But not letting them have any learning or structure is insane
That kid who shaved their head, asked for permission in a household with no rules....the child wanted a boundary which is why permission was requested.
Also they had a nose piercing?
@@GuadaaMeyee the older one did, I don’t think the little girl who shaved her head did but I could be wrong
@@alexandramontes3413 She did
@@alexandramontes3413 she did lol
They don't mean no rules, like that 🙄
I'm sure the mom still wants to know ahead of time, what they are going to do.
Even if she's fine with it. Notice she also told her how to do it, didn't just say have at it.
Remember being a kid and playing a game with friends but that one kid just doesn't want the rules? The game becomes less fun without the rules doesn't it. Life is like that. Rules are needed.
the mom was literally crying because her son was going to school. they make the kids think they're making their own decisions but Finley was indirectly peer pressured to not to go to school. so he can make his parents happy about his decision.
This made me soooo mad! The parents' comments about how they are losing them and whether he smells the same after 6 hours of school... They made damn well sure, that those kids felt that they shouldn't actually go to school even if they wanted, hypocrisy at its best.
Pray for him
@@darknlovli Definitely, I hope he doesn't struggle with his mental health as an adult. Having parents who discourage educational attainment and personal growth is psychologically damaging.
so much that! his sister too. her 7yo sister kept complaining and guilt tripping her to stay out of school. and ofc bc the mom didn’t really want them to go either so she did nothing to stop that behavior. made me so mad. watching these parents made me appreciate all the things my mom has done for me so much more.
Teaching pure manipulation. Callousness and no rules or consequences. Very sad. It's irresponsible and kind of sinister really.
So as a 30 year old woman who was also raised this way. Let me share my experience.
I was diagnosed with ASD when I was a child. And then, Not Otherwise Specifed Psychosis as well. School was not happening.
I was always bullied, thrown out of the district, that couldn't accommodate people like me with learning difficulties. I couldn't bond with anyone and didn't make any friends.
Once I was taken out of school. My days became less depressing and more tolerable. I felt like I was actually starting to live.
I wasn't stuck in a classroom, trying to learn times tables. I was outside learning how to fill out money orders. So when I was an adult, I knew how to pay rent.
I wasn't being forced into group projects. With children who made fun of me, for not picking up on their hurtful 'jokes'.
I was in therapy learning how to manage all my symptoms. With both practical skills and medication.
I was taught by my mother, by being brought outside into the world. Being shown things from all walks of life. Instead of looking at a paper and memorizing things.
Government assistance? I knew how it worked from 14 years old. Community outreach? I know where all my safe places are. Even when I moved across states. I will always know how to get help when I need it.
A lot of children around me, were being taught to smile in people's face. And that the adult is always right.
I was told if I had an opinion, I was to speak it. If I had an idea, I could do it and that I should try. If it didn't work out, it's okay to give up and do something new.
Not the rhetoric that; 'You should never give up.' No it's perfectly fine to walk away from something or someone that hurts you. That's how I managed to have only postive interactions with others in my life growing up.
All of this in my upbringing, did wonders for my creativity.
Because lo and behold I was a creative thinker. While I couldn't and still can't memorize times tables. I can write very well, I can sing, I have learned other languages.
What I benefited from was not being stuck in a box everyone else is in. But being given the keys to my own future. Since nobody is going to live it except me.
I can hold normal conversations. I no longer have self confidence issues. I believe in my ability to get my point across. I am more than capable of surviving on my own. I have been living alone since 19 years old.
I have my own home.
I have my own freedom.
I know how to sustain it.
I don't think all unschooling is bad.
I don't think no rules households are bad. I think if you're giving something valuable to your children. Teaching them the actual things they need to survive. Then your child is going to be perfectly fine.
I definitely am and I'm much happier for it. Being taking out of school at 12. And being given freedom to engage my special interests 24/7 without the fear of being told no. And being treated for my disability instead of told 'I just need to work harder.' Was the best thing my mother ever did for me.
Thank you Mom. ❤
The grandfather who wanted to make sure his grandson could read really touched my heart. ❤️❤️
I would really love a follow-up to this documentary 20 yrs from now, from the children's point of view.
It would be extremely interesting to see how this will affect the kids, once they are grown to see how this has influenced their lives, in a positive, or negative way.
I can assume it will be a little of both.
Kid's lives and growth are not about the parents, or their feelings. Just because a parent "feels uncomfortable" or "doesn't like it", doesn't give them license to completely upend their child's entire development.
In my opinion, it's the epitome of selfishness and laziness, on the parent's part.
There are exceptions, of course, for a child who is having extreme issues, to consider alternative solutions, because parent's are held responsible, ultimately, for the well-being of their underage kids.
But NO rules?
It's imperative to have discipline for the well-rounded mental and emotional development for kids, period.
How are they going to behave, as adults, the first time they are told no?!?
It would be so interesting to see...👀🤯
There’s a movie called Following Sean that’s a bit like that!
You must be like me. I love human behavior. I’d also love to see a follow up. I just hope that they don’t turn to drinking and or drugs to help cope mentally. I can definitely see the potential for jail or prison.
I'll make a guess. They will be able to get the least payed jobs and they will be fired from there next week. And as an option they will go to prison... just to be taught some rules.
We live in a society, every society in the world has rules. And this is what to be learned from childhood
Interesting huh ? I call it a long shot at best.. your 20 year later documentary will likely be impossible, or filmed at a prison. Ever see a dog who's been taught rules ? And I don't mean an officer drug dog. I mean man's best friend. Take a quick comparison to a dog who doesn't know a single rule. Can't be walked. Barks at everything. Craps in the house. Has no use. Guess which dog is the happy dog.
It's called life, liberty, and the pursuit of HAPPINESS.
What's life and liberty without happiness?
Can't wait for the follow up....
Ya this way of life is mind boggiling those are being set up for Failer when they are older I wonder how will they react when being told NO $& not attending school WTH it will be worse 10 years from now for jobs you will have to have a diploma to work st a fast food restaurant WOW I'm speechless to this parenting
Can we just call this what it really is? It's called neglect. It's not a new style of parenting. Parents have been doing this for forever.
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Crunchy neglect.
STRAIGHT UP!!!
Where do u see neglect ?? They are very happy. theyre receiving lots of love/.. learning to do practical things...n0t one of them is showing disrespect or temper tantrums.......nor do they look sick or anxious....I totally disagree with you ...They are very healthy kids, in every sense
@@IwasBlueb4 No discipline can lead to terrible behaviors in the future as teenagers and/or adults. May be fun as a kids but terrible as they get older. It is neglecting for their children because they are not taught basic necessities or habits of daily life, for example, are they disciplined to do chores, No. that’s where the neglect is coming from. How are they exactly going to survive alone when they move out if they don’t know these necessities. They don’t do school and it is something everyone needs, for example, math is a required skill because it teaches problem solving, analyzing, understanding, and more. So many kids from third world counties would DIE to have the ability to attend to schools and they are not taking the chance of it. This parenting style is called Permissive Indifferent/Indulgent, if you want to learn more about it google it. This terrible parenting style will only lead their kids to failures in relationships, academically, overall health, and general things. Every single thing even the littlest is going to somehow impact your child’s future and the way they preserve things. People’s perspective comes from their experiences and if this is THEIR experiences, it is going to be great bad news.
It is a clear NO to me. I have seen the awful results of the free parenting. To me, this kind of "parents" just don't fee like take any responsibility in raising their children. No guidance, no boundaries, no sense of responsibility. Very scary and even scarier when they will go out into the real world.
Archie's reading is a serious concern. He probably has a learning disability that needs to be addressed not ignored. He won't be able to function as an adult with that level of literacy. This could easily be done by his mom if she bought a reading curriculum and spent and hour or two a day with him instead of insisting he just spends all his time 'playing'.
Yeah, and the teacher in the private school saying that he was nearly at the level of his peers was a straight lie. He was not able to read very basic words and had no fluency at all. Poor chap.
And I found it interesting that the documentary was only looking at reading and writing skills. Imagine missing out on other languages, science and arts.
I have a child with a learning disability. That's probably his problem too.
He has lazy parents that don't care for their education. I believe he is fine but the parents are the problem
@@Hippabellita1 - Totally agree with you! It is also important to be exposed to the social side of things, meet and make new friends, expand your ‘horizons’, get a little part-time job (maybe just a Saturday paper route so it doesn’t interfere with his education) as that would boost his confidence.
and mom said she would allow him to have guns 🥺
I would be interested to see a follow up with these children once they’re adults and hear from them how they ended up and how they feel about their childhood. I’ve heard horror stories from adults who were raised this way about how they couldn’t read or do math into adulthood. There’s homeschooling, and then there’s…this.
me too. For most the kids I think Adulthood is going to hit them hard when they discover there's no job they can get and even if they do find something they won't keep the job because the workplace has rules that must be followed and they've never had any rules at all. Finley I think will do fine. He likes some structure to his life but Archie. . . no. That boy will have a very hard time as an adult. The couple with the 3 kids are being sensible. There are some rules for their children. They just don't have a regimented lifestyle for their children. And that's the best way to go.
A friend of my dad's quit school in the 3rd grade be couldn't read nor write that well just simply little words other than that he couldn't read
Well put - there's home schooling and there's....this. Whatever this is!?!?!
I was "raised" like this. TLDR: I resent this type of upbringing. Its straight up NEGLECT.
My mom was single & always working and she would let me do just about anything; skip school, dye my hair, no bed time, didnt care much if I failed classes or misbehaved, etc.
As embarrassing as it is, these are some effects I've noticed (I'm 25 now) - My hygiene was horrible, I would not shower for weeks and I cringe at the memory of a girl in 6th grade telling me I smelled like pee... I believed I never did anything wrong, there was no such thing as "wrong". In school, my grades were terrible but I didnt care, I'd refuse to do tests or homework. I literally didnt know until HS that grades mattered. For almost my entire 4th grade year I sat at the back of the class in a corner away from everyone else because I was so belligerent. I did not respect authority or rules and I still struggle with this somewhat because in my mind, "I don't HAVE to do anything", its very hard for me to hold a job now because obligation is foreign. I give up easily because I never learned how to fail. I got into so many fights at school even with teachers. I had little empathy.
I didnt understand boundaries or social norms & naturally this made having friends really difficult.
I would get upset if I was told "no", I still do sometimes, it hurts my feelings, like, I have to excuse myself to go cry sometimes (because I dont want to make them feel bad or manipulate them) its so distressing emotionally and I feel bad for feeling like that.
I learned to lie effortlessly to get away with things. II'd stay out until 11pm and no one ever checked on me. I was smoking at age 15 because by then, I was practically living alone and I had to grow up quick. If I found myself in trouble, I knew no one was coming to save me or protect me. All of this did not make me feel loved or free, it made me feel forgotten and stupid.
I'm still figuring out how to survive on my own. I do not make excuses for my wrongdoings, I try really hard to do the right thing now that I know better.
My older sister grew up the same way but she went in a different direction. I recognize my flaws, I isolate myself a lot because I know I'm wrong, I often feel intense shame and remorse but my sister doesnt. Shes like Dudley from Harry Potter lol. Interestingly, she has strong boundaries and has no issue saying no to people but I'm a push over.
With all that being said, it isnt all negative. A positive I noticed is that I was able to express myself and explore who I was and what I liked without fear of what others might think. My mom encouraged my interests and participated in a way that created a bond. I was emo (cringe) and I loved screamo music, heavy metal, rock, etc, my mom would let me play all the music I liked in the car, she would turn the volume all the way up and rock out with me even if we were just going to walmart. She helped me dye and cut my hair in all sorts of ways so I was able to experiment and this built my confidence and self esteem. I didnt feel like I was a freak or a weirdo or an outcast. I love myself because of her.
Everyone is different and responds to their environment differently. A person isnt solely a reflection of their childhood, biology still plays a role so I know my experience wont be the same as others. I think there is a sweet spot somewhere if you have the right priorities, if you guide your child rather than force or ignore. Rules, routine and encouragement would have helped me. I didnt need to be "free" I needed to learn to be a functioning member of society.
@@uggggggghhhhh Thank you for your story. I like your analysis of pros and cons.
They may have no rules at home, but they'll have a very rude awakening when later in life they're in jail. Society DOES have rules and consequences for breaking those rules.
Exactly that's why parents teach kids rules to prepare them for the rule driven world.
Or go to work if they do work
Probably not Jail lol that’s a bit of an exaggeration. What’s more likely is, if their parents aren’t teaching them how to speak to one and other with respect and boundaries, they’ll have issues forming relationships with others/understanding those boundaries. If they’re already interacting with other kids though, they may already be learning that.
This is completely wrong and scary to do to any child . It’s a form of abuse . They aren’t preparing their kids at all for the real world. It’s so sad
Even the most disciplined kids can make they way into jail. Parenting does not always determine that.. its life
I’m a homeschooling mother of two. We have a very slack approach to school. However we put education and knowledge high on priority along with developing into the best, capable person we can be. We educate ourselves through experiences and books. We don’t follow a set curriculum. We learn at our own pace and my kids have room to grow and develop while pursuing their interests but all the while the building blocks of reading, writing, math … those basic knowledge skills are being taught and learned. My children have freedom but there are responsibilities that we are all required to do. I want them to be able to function in their adult lives without the mental health issues that public schools seem to provide. So while my kids have freedom to be children they are also not running around uneducated. We have values and we have rules. All set in place to make sure that we are all healthy and set up for our best future. So the idea of letting your child make all the decisions and having no guidance is absolutely ridiculous.
How do you let your child get all the way to the age of 13 without teaching them to read and write... That's abuse!
That's the way I see it too and when they go to get jobs they wouldn't even know how to even fill out an application without help.
Actually people still don’t know how to actually read or write and the average public system has a focus problem.
@@gabrielzzz12345 Maybe my reading comprehension isn't where it should be because I think you're saying that a significant amount of publicly educated students don't learn to read or write and that isn't true.
@@CiGiDancer actually it is true people do not know how to comprehend what they read unless they teach themselves because they truly enjoy it. and the whole idealism of reading is to fluently use and comprehend it. People who cant do it and still have a 3rd grade reading level as an adult are not fully aware of a failed education system. Our public school system fails in every aspect of actually teaching. Maybe it’s forced or maybe it’s brain deficiency but the smartest and most brilliant minds never could read or write at all they played to there own interest like most do. I’m saying that if you can’t comprehend what your reading your public education system isn’t enough to qualify. The only people who can be recognized are top of the class people. So if someone doesn’t want to read or write then it doesn’t really matter technology speaks for itself. Your wasting time calling it abuse. And it’s not cps worthy. And with technology advancing about the average person loses focus span. It seems this family took a better route.
@@gabrielzzz12345 I am having a hard time understanding the thread of your points, and I don't think it is because I was failed by the public school system...
If most people did not learn reading comprehension then how are millions of people communicating in these YT video comments? How do people function at work? On social media? Why are our literacy rates so high?
I'm not the biggest fan of public school, I graduated a year early with a 3.8 GPA and I slid through much easier than I should have, I was just so desperate to leave. My brother actually ended up dropping out (fortunately to become a very successful entrepreneur). I tell you this so you can understand that I am very critical of public education. I plan to send my children to private school because mine and my family's experience was so negative.
But to say that public school is an abject failure is patently false. The GRAND MAJORITY of children in the public school system can read by the age of 13. This family failed their child in this regard, and in my opinion it is abusive.
If I am not addressing all of your points, I am sorry, as I said above, I am having difficulty parsing out all of your points.
This isn't love; it's neglect.
It's almost abuse because they shame kids that go to school and they had to have learned that from their parents cus they all model what their parents have said. It's almost like a cult approach.
Right? It's just so lazy
No it’s love
I just don't understand how it sets them up for a career? How will they look after and feed themselves? That grandfather was so kind and caring to pay for his grandsons tuition in English..... hopefully it will be enough to get him a job.
I can't believe what I'm hearing! The older boy says he doesn't need to learn to write because he'll just speak into his phone like voice texting. 🤦♀️ Just pure laziness! I mean, what do you expect when you have parents with the same damn attitude?
Aww look at him in his suit. Finley is one of those mature "one of a kind" children who has an old soul and ahead of his time. He will be alright. Bless his heart.
When I saw him actually cooking I automatically knew this kid is going to go places his siblings will not.
@@shaynalange7488 hopefully some of his younger siblings will take the influence and have more structure as well.
Because he has to be.
He is going to be the only one of all those children who is gonna have a normal life without greater problems. He can be proud of himself for having determination to really make his parents send him to school
@@Maddie1402_ unfortunately he succumbed to their pressure and chose not to attend in the fall. He stayed home. I hope he reevaluates that decision and goes back to school. He’s a very bright young man and could go far in life if he gets educated.
Im so happy I live in Germany. You cant take ur children out of school here, so everyone gets the same education. I think thats especially important because I feel like homeschooled children often just accept the beliefs and opinions of their parents as theirs, which in some cases, is def problematic.
Lol no they don't, they also turn anti parents in their puberty, no worries 😅😅
What I was reading is your education system in Germany is based on where you were placed according to a test, and you have three different schooling options that have different requirements. So they’re not getting the same schooling right?
Its not based on a test, but the parents opinion (up until a few years ago parents actually had no say in it and the teachers were the deciding factor). So basically ur parents decide which schoolform would work best for you. As u said, we have three different schooling options. The difficulty of the stuff we learn does ofc vary a lot between these options, but we ultimately all learn the same things. The "better" options just do it faster and more in-depth. @@theirishsaint4324
We don’t have the test anymore. Instead teachers in our equivalent to primary school can give recommendations. The parents can choose to follow it however they might decide against it. The fallout is many teens struggling a lot in the Gymnasium (Finishing this school allows you to go to university) simply because their parents told them to just try it out. Some of my former classmates didn’t want to disappoint their parents and now have horrible grades but they also can’t drop out anymore because the grades they got in 10th grade (Which is a Realschulabschluss, this qualifies you for doing an apprenticeship but you can also continue your education on a specific Gymnasium which is only for one area of expertise, for example economics) were so bad almost no businesses would accept them as employees (They’d have mostly D’s or something worse).@@theirishsaint4324
Editing my comment doesn’t work for some reason so I’ll try to answer your question here: Everyone technically has the same opportunities however social factors, having bad teachers and other factors might keep you from being able to use your potential completely. Additionally going to university can be impossible for you because of housing issues so you need to find a university that would accept you and allows you to live relatively close which is usually only possible if it isn’t in a big city.
It makes me mad that those parents are willingly not sending their kids to school, letting them be illiterate when kids around the world would fight to have access to school. Education is SO important, they are ruining their kids lives
This! Education is SO important nowadays and thinking that they are just saying "oh well who cares" drives me nuts! People all over the word are fighting for this basic human right!
It was also sad to see how they stay up all night. If they do that long enough they won't grow.
I think she should be teaching them herself if she’s gonna pull them out of school. The public education system is completely fucked and the fact that she actually noticed her kid was depressed was a great start. But I don’t think she should avoid education altogether
Totally agree
yeah that one kid "if i need to write I just talk it into my phone" BIG YIKES
I grew up with no rules as a kid also I’m 26 now. And I honestly hate my parents for it… like why…WHYYYY. I literally fully Learned how to read at the age of 12, and am still struggling to fit into Society. These kids are up for a rude awakening
I’m so sorry your parents did you such a grave disservice…..it’s incredibly unfair.
"Dont care if she can't read or write as long as she's happy." She'll never be happy....almost guaranteed.
It's so sad
When they grow up - if they survive - will hate their parents for this.. also they will have problems getting friends because they behave like shit and the other parents do not want that around their own kids..
She’s happy cause she wasn’t born into an abusive family! And that’s the only thing that matters!
@@ladelnorte4707 at least teach your children how to read and write, it's not that hard to do if they want their kids to live happily. It's hard to figure many things out if u can't read or write.
@@ladelnorte4707 i don’t think their kids will be very happy when they realize the real world has rules and what you want doesn’t matter. They’ll either be homeless or some druggies on the street barely making a living. In this world, if you can’t accomplish the bare minimum of reading and writing, you’re done for.
I hated going to school and doing chores when I was a kid. Today I realize how important it was. It forced me to socialize and learn to get along with people from all backgrounds. It helped me to learn structure which is important as you get older. School taught me more than I'd like to admit it did 😆
They are free to do what they want, but when the choice is against parents ideas like school, the father doesnt seem so keen. I wonder if this idea of freedom is just an egoistic way of making life easier for parents
Exactly what I was thinking. The parents seem to be lazy.
Also the comments the mom made before and after the kids went to school... The emotional manipulation with the comments about how she will miss or even lose them, especially after coming back from school checking if "he still smells the same"... I know it was meant to be funny, but it was just so cringy. They are happy that the kids do whatever they want, but only if it fits their agenda. They made damn well sure, that those kids felt that they shouldn't actually go to school, even if they wanted.
@@dorapetho2313 agree they were extremely negative and only focused on how it affected them which suggests to me this decision is more for them. He said it’s so he can “raise” them but they mainly just seem to run wild.
Yea that is exactly what I think. The parents are just lazy and don’t want to do anything other than what they want to and they get upset when the kids show any sort of independence or want to do things differently. It’s quite sad really. These parents are huge hypocrites.
Ikr! It's like they want to prevent them from learning. Why would you want your children to be illiterate??? I think the parents have this fear that if their kids go to school and start loving it, they'll wanna sign up for different extracurricular activities. So you know what that means?? The parents will become busy! *Gasp* the insanity! Lol. God forbid they might have to pack lunches every night for the next day and require their children to go to bed at a certain time.
Something I always think about and regret from my childhood - my parents were very loose on rules. There was no limit on TV, no housework, no enforced homework, my mum would bring me breakfast in bed in the mornings before school... and as an adult I've found it very hard to get motivation to do work and the 'boring' things, and always wished my parents had pushed me harder and not let me do whatever I want.
My regrets were that they weren't HONEST with me, because once I left school and I realized the world around me was nearly the opposite of what I was "sold" there went the motivations.
I am sorry for that!
My Russian German parents seemed always stricter than my friends parents but now I am glad and thankful for every "NO" I got and every "forced" homework that I didn't want to do. After I started my apprenticeship as a nurse others told me that they made the experience that young Russian Germans do work better and harder than the average German.
Well, that's because usually the Russian Germans are more strict on their children.
They don't accept a No easily. Now I even wish they were more strict. Also if I was really rebellious and didn't wanna obey even after 3rd request I got one spank.
But hey- you can do it better with your children and you can learn from other parents I am sure there are some good parents that will share their knowledge with you. But the best book to get advice would be the book of Proverbs from the bible. You have everything you need there! Every good parenting is based on the truths from proverbs. Wish you the best!
@@linza2345 the funny thing is that my mother is a Christian so you would think she would follow the Biblical example, I thank her for raising me to know God, but I wish I was disciplined more.
Seems like most wish they had somewhat the opposite lol
I mean, my guardians were the opposite but I also have a great deal of trouble with motivation to start things or get things done... That might be because of my mental health condition though. You can always change though, you shouldn't use how you were raised as an excuse to not try and change yourself or your habits. Best of luck, I know it's hard!
“If I need to write anything, I can just speak into my phone”.
This isn’t just ridiculous, it’s scary, because these children are the adults of tomorrow. 😳
YES!! Like how will you apply to a job if you can't read?! Read directions??!! Etc!! SMH! This is sad
Teaching your child how to read and write is the bare minimum if your child doesn’t go to school because of you
🤦♀️
There’s different types of intelligence. Like 8 or something. I noticed that going to public school.. idk why people think everyone processes information the same way. We don’t. Everyone is different so why can’t the way we handle things be acceptable despite it being different or not working for someone else. I think kids with adhd or add can read upside down through a reflection of the mirror. I can’t do that 😂😂😂 I can’t make no giant 400 ton metal plane or boat float in the sky or on water...lol someone has tho. 🤦♀️😂 like ..come on people
But if there's no rules you can beat the shit out of any of them if they get out of line with you. ...Fair enough? It better be, if any of these brats get around me. Because if it's not I'll have to beat the shit out of dad.
"i don't care if she learns to read or write" this is outrageous
Finley is breaking my heart. This boy craves the healthy boundaries he deserves.
I think a big part of him not going to school was that he would dissapoint his parents, he really wants boundaries
Me too
and the whole family making fun of him and picking on him and mom asking if he smells different
I grew up without rules and bedtimes and things, I basically didn’t exist for my mom and my dad was never around and it really messed me up. I’m now 36 and although I have been very successful in life and my career I always struggled with discipline, motivation etc and I think a better structured environment would have set a better foundation for me in life.
Edit: I didn’t mean any disrespect to my parents. My mother was 40 when she had me, and in her 50s she just wasn’t up to dealing with a belligerent teen so she was just like „whatever“. And my dad wasn’t around because he worked really hard and only came home on the weekends but it’s from him I got my work ethic and sense of responsibility, not because it was forced on me but because he lead by good example.
...or maybe more caring parents...
Good for you! (I'm serious, not being sarcastic)
Tru dat
😥
Honestly same, I had no boundaries or bedtime but when it came to material things, they always told me no so I grew up a no problem child who never asked for things unless my mom specifically told me I could get something. My dad was not really a dad, I don't even remember having a conversation with him without feeling nervous because I hadn't done it before. My mom was buys most of the time, so I spent a lot of time with my grandparents and nanny. She taught me and my brother legit everything that I know, we still keep in touch now that I'm 16
I would pay good money to see Super Nanny react to this and set those parents straight
Honestly
Yes!!!
Facts!!
Same✌🏾
Omg yes Jo would freak
I grew up hating school so much, I would cry and throw tantrums every morning. I am glad my mom did not decide that I would happier without school. I have a degree today and I get to work for one of the biggest investment firms in my country. This is not love its pure neglect! I feel so bad for these kids.
Bless Finlay’s heart. What a smart, kind, self-conscious and independent little man. Wishing him the best in his new endeavours. Hopefully he will get to distance himself mentally from that neglectful household.
that child is something else, so smart and grounded, he will def go far in life i can tell
...so we are heading for a generation which cannot read and write??? That's scary, apart from learning no rules - so how are these kids supposed to "survive" in ANY job??
Illiteracy has been fought all over the world as we learnt that this is the basis and entry to any more or less qualified work! And attending school in e.g. Africa is a privelige not all kids enjoy...
Actually, this is very scary...
It is like the parents want to form an enclosure, confining these kids only to their "tribe"; but kids are supposed to grow up an leave the family, to live in society - with all it rules and boundaries...
This father cannot let go his son to school ALTHOUGH he claims to bring them up to make their own decisions...
That's- to end this- is above all sad!
what a horrible comment.....yes, he is lovely and so are his siblings
Finley is like an ultra rare kid who strive for rules, order, learning, education even though being raised in a family that never teach all these. Theres so many parents out there who try so hard and teaching their kids about rules and stuff and their kids still didnt want to follow
There's always a rebel in the family
All children need structure. Finlay just knows how to verbalize it.
Finley is mature as hell.
Finley is born for succes. I wish we could hear what turned out of them 12 years later now.
Its not ultra rare . Most kids do need and crave structure, routine , boundries etc even if they push them boundries and what not at points. Its normal
"Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy." -Robert A Heinlein
What normal parent dyes a child's hair at 7 blows my mind let alone keeping them from learning reading and writing and too the dad howd you growup to work and keep your family (structure rules and learning )
@@briemorandin3640 I don't really think anything is especially wrong with dyeing their hair for them at their age if they want their hair to be a fun color. They're young - I would let them have fun. It's like playing dress up except with their hair. It's not like they have job interviews to look professional for or anything.
@@kellyriddell5014 Yeah I Definitely agree that The Hair dying wasn't the worst of it, it's not gonna impact anything except the hair Lol
@@briemorandin3640 Absolutely! Atleast knowing how to read and Write will give them an Opportunity to Discover what they DO want to learn and give them more Options and Recourses when they're older and Really Start Thinking about their Future.
@@briemorandin3640 hair dying is really not the issue here the least bit.
I was relieved to hear that he was trying to write 'club'. 🤣
Finlay is a smart boy. He knows that if he likes the 'nerd life' of school structure he will be an outcast in his own family and his mother has made it abundantly clear how 'disappointed' she is. He is too young yet to be able to endure that. 'The no rules life' are great as long as you don't break the rules. I don't think the parents see the irony. They are just as, if not more controlling and selfish than any other parent, but have also denied their children a chance of fitting easily into society or making a future for themselves.