I worked in an international private school in Asia. Kids were losing their hair and suffering from anxiety due to the pressure. Not a healthy childhood. And not a good precedent we should set as a society.
Same in UK where rich parents send their kids to full board schools causing a huge separation trauma, sometimes during a divorce process, kids are alone, no parents talk to them. It's heartbreaking😢😢😢
CHOICE is what the lady in the 1st story wasn’t given by her parents & what she so desperately wished she had! Instead of realizing that shes gone & done the exact same thing to her own kids by enforcing HER desires upon them taking away their opportunity to Choose as well!🤦🏼♀️
yup she wasn’t given the choice by her parents so now that she has control she feels she can finally make choices and she does for her children unfortunately
Exactly, the irony, clearly not as switched on as she believes! There's always too much extreme in both ways of parenting, somewhere in the middle and not exhausting your children seems better to me.
I literally started crying during this scene. I have a 6 year old that also excels in math - the difference is that he does it for fun. To put that kind of pressure on a 6 year old is disgusting
The Carneys seem like cool parents… the dad might’ve been tough but the fact that he’s an influence in the lives of other young men in the neighbourhood was beautiful 🥹
Lawon Carney grew to 5’6”. He played some college ball but not at one of the larger schools. The good news is that he appears to be an Avionic Engineer.
I wouldn’t be surprised if the strenuous exercise stunted his growth. Similar to how the stunted development of cheerleaders and gymnasts occur. I’m glad he’s doing well.
This part bothered me, too. And you can see the boy is so tired and defeated. She is projecting her frustrated ambition in Math and Science onto her son. Was she really doing this for her son or for herself? I am afraid this will backfire someday - the parents pushing the twins to this extreme. They are only 6 years old. There are other less stressful ways of imparting discipline and excellence.
Watching this makes me so grateful for my own childhood. I had the freedom to be a kid, exercise my imagination and play but still had responsibility in looking after our pets etc. No all kids are allowed to be children. I feel sorry for these children, childhood is so fleeting.
Unscheduled 😮.. unschooled Poor kids. They'll never learn how to relate with other people. No pressure. No competition. It'll be a problem when they're adults. Lack of social skills. Kudos to the parents who have the patience and the passion to teach their kids, be with them 24/7.
All of life is learning, the majority of which is not in a school setting. Most children thrive having their education lead by their own interests. If they love science, they will learn math. Etc. my mostly unschooled son is a chemist. But some children need the structure of a school setting.
So he taught himself chemistry, self proclaimed an expert in chemistry, and calls himself a chemist? Or did he eventually go to school to learn actual chemistry?
Sensible 2-year-old doesn't want to go to the pageant. The mother most interested in her own "thrill." Siblings competing against each other. Prettiness viewed as the most important quality in a girl. Filling them with sugar to make them hyper. Oh my.
I can't believe what I just watched.😮 There should definitely be a parenting school as something mandatory for people who want to have children. Feeding sweets to such small children and expecting them to be good looking girls and women one day.. This type of competition should be banned for children!
Agreed! The lady said, "pixie sticks are pageant crack!" What??? That's awful! So the lessons are: people only value you if you are thin and pretty, drugs will get you through, your looks are your only value in life, do what it takes to win even if it makes you uncomfortable, and resist doing things that others want unless they bribe you.
That mum grew before our eyes in that segment. It was confronting however, seeing a mum realise that maybe her choices are not what she wants to value. That's beautiful. Good on her.
It is so important for parents to be attuned to their little ones. Like with Dominic… clearly he was tired and his brain needed to rest but his mom was not picking up on his cues. He can’t possibly learn multiplication if his brain is tired like that so it just creates strife for both parent and child… even if he is good and might even like math.
Sometimes it works, Tiger woods…Serena and Venus Williams. There’s a lot of Olympic athletes that were raised that way as well. It all just depends on what your priorities are, what you value.
Only kid I was impressed with was the football player. I'm not into sports but his mind set will take him a long way. He realizes his dad is working hard to provide and he wants to do his best to achieve in this World 🌎 😊
He is now an aviaion/electrical engineer. I'd say his parents did well...a well rounded kid. Imagine if they'd had the money of the Shoneys or any other well off family.
@@Sam88-f3m Yes an Asian Mum used to be my neighbour and she lived alone in the country with her children simply for education and learning into the small hours of the mornings...her children have excelled in their studies and her children doing good with their jobs but one has chosen not to marry and works part time at her career and the son had pyschological issues...maybe will settle down one day..but the whole family unit has fallen apart. Study is not everything.
You can say nothing works fir everyone. We are all different. As a homeschooling parent myself I have seen that in my country, homeschooling works. A huge proportion of schooled children following school curriculum are ending up functionally illiterate. Homescholled children actually tend to do better in life and further education, reaching tertiary levels earlier than their schooled counterparts and are very successful in what they decide to do with their lives. My child was held back from doing extension work at her school. They should be encouraged to do this if that's where they sit, not ignored. Not to mention all the negative consequences of schools that many children face and which can cause severe lifelong trauma.
@@ababy6074they were NOT homeschooling, they were UNSchooling which means that no schooling is taking place at all and children are left to basically teach themselves. Homeschooling and unschooling are like apples and oranges
@earlyjicama4302 Actually I disagree. I do know that homeschooling is different to unschooling, but I also know that it doesn't mean NO education or instruction at all and many unschooled children are instructed in things they decide to learn about. It's also not lazy parenting - the parents just recognise that children can master thinfs on their own and in their own time. Again, some children thrive without any structure, lessons etc. Learning is very natural and most children are driven to towards it out of curiosity about different parts of life.
“You don’t use what you learn in school in your career” correct, but you might need to use it to help your kids learn what they need to learn for their careers. It baffles me that people don’t want to learn/know as much as they possibly can, it makes you so useful.
This thinking makes me so sad and frustrated. We absolutely use the things we learn to read the world but also to reconfigure it, only at very subtle levels. Most abstract thinking comes from ideas that sit in our minds and require time and more input to simmer into new ideas and demonstrable knowledge.
Isn’t it interesting…the first mom begrudged her parents for giving her too much agency so she adopted a very restrictive parenting style. The second mom begrudged her parents for being too restrictive so she adopted a very permissive parenting style.
Very good point. However, unschooling is not unparenting, or even very permissive parenting. There is so much research to back up how important play is and for children. If you have the time and are interested, please look up John Holt. It's amazing that we've all forgot that school is the experiment. Also, the best motivation is intrinsic motivation.
Yes, I thought this was really interesting, mainly bc I think they became who they were bc of their upbringings, but then they think parenting their children in the opposite manner will produce someone like them but better, but what it will likely do is force the opposite. The controlling mom will likely produce adults like the laid back mom or very resentful adults and the laid back mom will either produce children who have to find their own inner discipline and structure to succeed like the controlling mom or just lazy idiots who weren’t educated properly to function in the real world. I’d love to see the update on these kids now.
I had all B+ & As and somehow flunked PE (not dressing out of PE/showers) and had to take summer school. I love that my mom knew not to care and happily took me to summer school instead of berating me. Thanks Mom.
I was the same, all As, the occasional B+, but I didn't flunk PE, I played loads of sports and played flute until I was accomplished enough to teach it... I'm keen to know, did you find school easy? I did, and I wonder if that's why I got such great grades. I live in Australia so the longest time we have off school during the year is about 3 weeks, at Xmas time, how much time do you guys get off school in summer in the US?? P.s. I'm currently 44yrs old and unemployed. Bring great at school obviously didn't make my life better.
I pray all the Carneys dreams come true. The Dad ,the Mom, and the son are all so inspiring. You can tell they want their son to have a good fulfilling life. I pray they get it too.
I was homeschooled as a kid. Wait until those kids are old enough that becoming independent requires a structured nine to five job. I'm still adjusting to the obligations of normal life, and I'm almost thirty.
Well, myself and all my public school friends are right there with you. Is it due to homeschooling for you, or is just working too much in the county we live in?
@@Beepbopboop19no , it’s about what your parents teach you about responsibility and what is reality . If they prepare you for that it’s not a shock or a burden
Most homeschooling parents think a 9-5 job is not for their kids and they will own their own business and show up to work whenever or will have other people work for them. They call schools factories that produce workers, which their kids won’t be so they don’t need it. Most people have to show up to work and work for 8 hours so o don’t know what they are thinking.
There's a major lack of emotional education from these parents. Achievements do not replace emotions and feelings. The individual will try to fill that void later on in life with something and will be impacted in their own romantic relationships that will inevitably be toxic.
@@ChevonBayless I don’t personally feel like it’s creepy, my concern is the lack of structure and the fact that it’s so drastically different than the norm that their children risk not being able to acclimate when they need to find a job. Employers aren’t going to tolerate employees who say “well I’m not going to do that task because I’m not interested in it.” It’s incumbent on parents to properly socialize and prepare their children for adulthood and one way that is done is by educating their children. Either the parents have to do it themselves or they send them to school. If they do it themselves they really need to think about possible outcomes; meaning will the education they provide be sufficient training for adulthood and since adults usually work parents need to consider that as they educate their children. So yes to the kid being interested in what they’re learning but no to the lack of structure. Also we have to stay in reality, sometimes in life people have to do things they don’t want to do, that’s life and parents have to teach that.
Agree with sexualization. I don't understand why we think every human is intellectually interested or capable. I think you mean letting their personal inner gifts me priority?
I hope that little baby Annalise never see this footage. Juts going to crush her little spirit to see her mom basically tell the world she doesn’t think her own daughter is pretty. So hurtful.
This is all so nauseating. I am a 70's latch key kid and thank god I learned independence, self-reliance, failure, team work, boredom and the word "NO".
Agree! I was a latch key kid in my youth as well in the late 70’s until graduation in high school and also am glad how I was raised as well. Riding bikes,playing with friends until dark,having freedom to be a kid. These poor kids are missing out on having fun. Feel sorry for them.
Parents will go through all of these extremes when the kids are young, only for them to become criminals, drug addicts, abusive parents…etc. We develop our own personality and have our own minds. At the end of the day, u do what you wanna do with your life.
The unschooled kid who wants to go to space is never going to get there without formal maths and science. Theyre setting up their kids to have a very hard life. The kids are just playing video games all day...that is not learning.
13 years ago...I'd like to see where the kids are now...They need a healthy dose of structure and routine to regulate...She just thru in the few little sub par teaching lessons I assume for this recording...your kid isn't learning from video games, now if you get him into a group of kids that are into programming/ developing games..or building those towers for PC people..but that won't happen....I see the very strong minded boy Lewaun is a football player now...can't get much more info on where they are now, from the comments anyways.
@@AJ-ps2bwoh you unschooled correctly? Bah-humbug. The education system is designed to exercise the brain and teach a brain how to learn. You will learn forever. Have you ever talked with someone from a country with poor education? They get by but you can tell they aren’t firing on all cylinders. I’m sure you have decades of research and experience on how the brain works through routine tasks?
This way is lazy. Sorry. She is raising kids that have no rules. No way of being able to live in the real world. They don’t seem to be schooling them on anything that will teach them basic skills to live in their own.
The footballer is now an aviaion/electrical engineer. I'd say his parents did well...a well rounded kid. Imagine if they'd had the money of the Shoneys or any other well off family.
Mine grew up to be hard-working, responsible, mature young adults who have a wide variety of skills and interests. Not using drugs or playing video games, they look after themselves well.
So many of these parents see their kids as merely objects, an extension of themselves rather than a unique human being in their own right. The kids are effectively dehumanized as a result.
In that family it seems like the boy wants to play football too. I also think if he would't want to and play another sport instead, the father would accept that.
Absolutely. Setting them up for a lifetime of anxiety and feeling inadequate. And probably resentment towards their parents. I’m all for parents helping their kids achieve their dreams but it should be the kids dream, not the parents. Kids are fully formed individual humans with their own wants, personalities, challenges, strengths, etc.
All these parents depicted have no lifes. Hence the living vicariously through those poor children. Most likely the expression of lost childhood will manifest in ugly ways. America, remember the Menendez brothers??...
"Please" was my son's first word. At two, we're now working on "thank you" and "excuse me". There's nothing wrong with wanting your child to have manners.
I'm glad there's no beauty pageant for children in my country. It's scary. My heart breaks seeing these girls, especially since it sounds like their mother knows she's doing it for HER satisfaction.
"We make them"...That seems a strange way to refer to your children, instead of saying, "We teach them, we influence them". She feels she must usurp their free will. That's alarming...
I was asking the same thing!! It's not our parent's responsibility to make our career decisions for us! She could have gone to college and studied whatever she wanted to.
It is painful to look at that older kid just playing video games. I believe we should encourage our kids to pursue their interests. I also attended a Catholic school. Now, my child is enrolled in a private school that emphasizes personalized learning. They cultivate his interests. What does he want to learn? He practices MMA and takes private Spanish and piano lessons. I don't impose anything on him. If he decides to quit any of these activities, he's free to do so. When I was young, I aspired to be a musician, but it wasn't practical due to financial constraints and being raised in Latin America. Here in the United States, my child can aspire to anything. I've faced hardships, and now he has the opportunity to pursue his dreams. He is truly living the American dream.
Oh wow, this was really illustrative of "we parent our unfinished business." I sincerely hope these parents healed their childhood wounds and found peace with their new families. This was difficult to watch.
Lawon's parents seemed like the real deal to me. They don't just love their own kids, they loved the neighborhood kids too. I think that makes them very special and their son spoke of them kindly and with appreciation.
Fascinating documentary about parents - by a long shot, it’s one of the most demanding jobs. I think the key is get a happy medium and not go to extremes 👍
I’ve been a mom now for 5 weeks so I can’t criticize these parents because I understand they all have good intentions and love their children. I thank the parents for sharing their story and opening up themselves for judgment. I wish all these children the very best. ❤
Why do you think a non- parent & new parents can't criticise parents? That's a dangerous way to think. That you could only know the difference between right & wrong, or see issues about things, if you aren't in the EXACT same position? So we don't care/think about anything outside our life & bubble.. I don't agree.
@@ingridakerblom7577 Somebody who isnt a parent has no idea what it is like to be a parent . People think being a parent is easy and that they wont make this mistake or that mistake and that their child would never do this or that etc and then they have children and the reality is very different than what they thought . Someone without kids has no right to criticize people with kids because they have no idea how hard it is or what it involves or the feelings and emotions that are involved when you are a parent .
Congratulations new mom! Welcome to the club. ❤️ You’re right, you can’t know how hard it is or what the pressures are until you’re a parent. You have a human life that depends on you for everything, and you’re tasked with helping them learn how to live their best lives! It’s a lot of pressure and responsibility! I’ve been doing this 17 years now, and I’ve learned a lot. And changed course more than once. My husband died when they were tiny, so I’ve done it alone too. It’s not at all what I expected life to look like when I planned my pregnancies! It’s a very tough, but very rewarding job! All these people in the video, whatever our opinions are of them, are doing what they believe is best and right for their kids. I think it’s all pretty extreme, I wouldn’t do any of these things! But this is America. We value freedom and independence. As long as there’s no obvious abuse, it’s not my business. Raise your kids as you see fit.
This parents are living their dreams through their children. Its sad. Can only imagine the childhood trauma they went through having their needs neglected emotionally and mentally and that's why America is messed up with so many men or boys being killers. I am a cycle breaker with my own children.
I know a guy who was forced to do tae kwon do and earned a black belt as a kid by strict parents. He grew up to be the opposite, don’t have the desire to work out, go to college, clean… basically so lazy because he feels he over did stuff as a kid
Extreme parenting is not good, balance is always good!!!
Yes, but it's always over correction when their kids have kids.
Some of the parents are living vicariously through their children.
I feel like all of them are.
Yep.
YEP they sure are!!!
so true
Yep
So sad that parents often don’t address their trauma but project their unhealthiness onto their children
Absolutely! This was tough to watch.
It's so evident in this video 😢
Wonderfully said I totally agree!!
OMG! I was just thinking that same thing
Yup!!
I worked in an international private school in Asia. Kids were losing their hair and suffering from anxiety due to the pressure. Not a healthy childhood. And not a good precedent we should set as a society.
Same in UK where rich parents send their kids to full board schools causing a huge separation trauma, sometimes during a divorce process, kids are alone, no parents talk to them. It's heartbreaking😢😢😢
Thats terrible 😢
CHOICE is what the lady in the 1st story wasn’t given by her parents & what she so desperately wished she had! Instead of realizing that shes gone & done the exact same thing to her own kids by enforcing HER desires upon them taking away their opportunity to Choose as well!🤦🏼♀️
Wow well said ❤
Exactly. And it borders on abusive. Ridiculous attitude about team sports. These kids will be selfish AF.
yup she wasn’t given the choice by her parents so now that she has control she feels she can finally make choices and she does for her children unfortunately
And she keeps saying she wants them to know who they are.. but they can only be who she says
Exactly, the irony, clearly not as switched on as she believes! There's always too much extreme in both ways of parenting, somewhere in the middle and not exhausting your children seems better to me.
I’d love an update on these kids now, 13 years later
I feel like the twins rebeled in a big way
One of the twins travels the world is an author model and attended Cornell.
@@jesslivinlife Enrolled in a 2 month certificate program.
@@romabqui he’s still doing more than me 😆
@@BabyGirlRaven I googled his their full names the narrator says it in the film. Apparently the mom is a Forbes blah blah blah and political debator.
Great seeing Lisa Ling - even if it's her older docuseries. Love her intellect as well as compassion!
I miss this show! Please bring it back
YES PLEASE!!
The 6-year-old doing endless multiplication after a full day of tennis in the summer is wild.
And who decided that they give all their birthdays toys away I mean I g t but they’re just little kids
I literally started crying during this scene. I have a 6 year old that also excels in math - the difference is that he does it for fun. To put that kind of pressure on a 6 year old is disgusting
It broke my heart when he said "I want to do nothing" because he was so done and mom kept pushing him to do more!
Child abuse
It's abuse...
They are robbing those kids of a fun childhood !!!!! That’s huge.
The Carneys seem like cool parents… the dad might’ve been tough but the fact that he’s an influence in the lives of other young men in the neighbourhood was beautiful 🥹
He stunted his growth starting him that heavy lifting so young. You can tell
Lawon Carney grew to 5’6”. He played some college ball but not at one of the larger schools. The good news is that he appears to be an Avionic Engineer.
I wouldn’t be surprised if the strenuous exercise stunted his growth. Similar to how the stunted development of cheerleaders and gymnasts occur. I’m glad he’s doing well.
That's awesome!🎉
Most excellent! His dad was teaching him life lessons.
@@sabrina.natalieI was thinking the same thing when they first mentioned his height.
But is he happy?
Any extreme is bad , balance discipline education and letting them be kids is the way.
Balance is key for a
healthy mind,body , and life.
omg I feel so much sadness for the twin boys... the mother getting mad because the kid - who is 6 yo - got 9x2 wrong...
This part bothered me, too. And you can see the boy is so tired and defeated. She is projecting her frustrated ambition in Math and Science onto her son. Was she really doing this for her son or for herself? I am afraid this will backfire someday - the parents pushing the twins to this extreme. They are only 6 years old. There are other less stressful ways of imparting discipline and excellence.
Right. I was just listening to this while I was folding laundry so I was SHOCKED when they said the twins were only 6. @jocelynco1624
My 8 year old still struggles with multiplication, so hard to watch that poor baby.
Watching this makes me so grateful for my own childhood. I had the freedom to be a kid, exercise my imagination and play but still had responsibility in looking after our pets etc. No all kids are allowed to be children. I feel sorry for these children, childhood is so fleeting.
Unscheduled 😮.. unschooled
Poor kids. They'll never learn how to relate with other people.
No pressure. No competition.
It'll be a problem when they're adults.
Lack of social skills.
Kudos to the parents who have the patience and the passion to teach their kids, be with them 24/7.
All of life is learning, the majority of which is not in a school setting. Most children thrive having their education lead by their own interests. If they love science, they will learn math. Etc. my mostly unschooled son is a chemist. But some children need the structure of a school setting.
So he taught himself chemistry, self proclaimed an expert in chemistry, and calls himself a chemist? Or did he eventually go to school to learn actual chemistry?
Who wants to relate to other people? Most people are not very nice at all
Haha kudos in deed i would Go Crazy
I think the kid playing video games and saying he is working on hand eye coordination just says it all about unschooling 😂
What all these parenting styles are missing is balance. Life is imperative in our lives!
Exactly! Balance is so important I think. Everyone needs the time to work and the time to play.
Sensible 2-year-old doesn't want to go to the pageant. The mother most interested in her own "thrill." Siblings competing against each other. Prettiness viewed as the most important quality in a girl. Filling them with sugar to make them hyper. Oh my.
I can't believe what I just watched.😮 There should definitely be a parenting school as something mandatory for people who want to have children. Feeding sweets to such small children and expecting them to be good looking girls and women one day.. This type of competition should be banned for children!
Agree! Child abuse is 100% what it is.. sickening
Agreed! The lady said, "pixie sticks are pageant crack!" What??? That's awful! So the lessons are: people only value you if you are thin and pretty, drugs will get you through, your looks are your only value in life, do what it takes to win even if it makes you uncomfortable, and resist doing things that others want unless they bribe you.
She puts so much emphasis on looks but doesn’t consider the effects of them becoming conditioned to consume all that sugar
That mum grew before our eyes in that segment. It was confronting however, seeing a mum realise that maybe her choices are not what she wants to value. That's beautiful. Good on her.
The extreme parents are what lead to the extreme backlash of their kids the second they leave
Living Vicariously through your children, big mistakes, get some healing from your childhood before raising kids! That's how the cycle stops.
Amen
It is so important for parents to be attuned to their little ones. Like with Dominic… clearly he was tired and his brain needed to rest but his mom was not picking up on his cues. He can’t possibly learn multiplication if his brain is tired like that so it just creates strife for both parent and child… even if he is good and might even like math.
Nah she didn't CARE 😢
That first family, as soon as those kids get of age they will be out of there lol. Everyone knows extremes never work and will fail at some point.
They sure do sometimes a kid deserves to have fun and love.
One travels the world is a model author and went to Cornell.
@@jesslivinlife, those things may equal “success” as defined by his parent, but not necessarily happiness or fulfillment.
Sometimes it works, Tiger woods…Serena and Venus Williams. There’s a lot of Olympic athletes that were raised that way as well. It all just depends on what your priorities are, what you value.
@taraji_b Is that the big difference they learned about the basics of hard work & preparation. The biggest important thing was managing time.
The parents: I want what is best for them.
There are bottles of Coke and piles of junk food on the counter.. dense
Chest tats and 2 liter of Dr Pepper? I want her teaching my kids.
That house was really depressing to see
That pageant mom is disgusting. She is damaging her sweet daughters beyond repair. Absolutely heartbreaking. 💔
Only kid I was impressed with was the football player. I'm not into sports but his mind set will take him a long way. He realizes his dad is working hard to provide and he wants to do his best to achieve in this World 🌎 😊
He is now an aviaion/electrical engineer. I'd say his parents did well...a well rounded kid. Imagine if they'd had the money of the Shoneys or any other well off family.
But athletes are only as good as when injuries start setting in.
@iambeiam but he was prepping him for a scholarship, not just nfl
I would love a Where Are They Now? episode for these families
At pshycoterapist office
@@Sam88-f3m Yes an Asian Mum used to be my neighbour and she lived alone in the country with her children simply for education and learning into the small hours of the mornings...her children have excelled in their studies and her children doing good with their jobs but one has chosen not to marry and works part time at her career and the son had pyschological issues...maybe will settle down one day..but the whole family unit has fallen apart. Study is not everything.
@@Sam88-f3mwhat!!!??
This episode of this different families, made me sad 😔 ,They are pushing it too far, l feel sorry for the kids.
I was one of those kids my mom pushed me 2 learn multiplication tables useless now because i just use a calculator
I would love to know what the unschooled kids are doing now
School these days is to make you obey all the silly rules that are now around. I wouldn't school mine if they were little now. I'd teach them at home
Joaquin is dishwasher but it looks like he got a HS diploma and Dexter is a cashier
@@dellacrawford3731 aiming High
Wow Lisa Ling's voice brings me right back to high school watching channel one before school started.....
OMG!! Channel 1!!! Ahhh memories
Same! It also happens when I pump gas and a video of Maria Menounos pops us
Me too!!!!
Many parents live vicariously through their children. Childhood lost ~
Every young child shows that enthusiasm for science and learning when you go to a fun children’s museum. Doesn’t prove that unschooling is “working”
You can say nothing works fir everyone. We are all different. As a homeschooling parent myself I have seen that in my country, homeschooling works. A huge proportion of schooled children following school curriculum are ending up functionally illiterate. Homescholled children actually tend to do better in life and further education, reaching tertiary levels earlier than their schooled counterparts and are very successful in what they decide to do with their lives. My child was held back from doing extension work at her school. They should be encouraged to do this if that's where they sit, not ignored. Not to mention all the negative consequences of schools that many children face and which can cause severe lifelong trauma.
@flaviapoetic.perfumes4700 no it is just a FORM of homeschooling. There is less structure, but so what? Some children thrive on this. Not a biggie.
@@ababy6074they were NOT homeschooling, they were UNSchooling which means that no schooling is taking place at all and children are left to basically teach themselves. Homeschooling and unschooling are like apples and oranges
@earlyjicama4302 Actually I disagree. I do know that homeschooling is different to unschooling, but I also know that it doesn't mean NO education or instruction at all and many unschooled children are instructed in things they decide to learn about. It's also not lazy parenting - the parents just recognise that children can master thinfs on their own and in their own time. Again, some children thrive without any structure, lessons etc. Learning is very natural and most children are driven to towards it out of curiosity about different parts of life.
we went to the museum and they learned and explored on weekends and holidays from school
I’d love to have an update on these kids- more importantly how the relationships with their parents have held up.
“You don’t use what you learn in school in your career” correct, but you might need to use it to help your kids learn what they need to learn for their careers. It baffles me that people don’t want to learn/know as much as they possibly can, it makes you so useful.
I use what I learned in school all the time
This thinking makes me so sad and frustrated. We absolutely use the things we learn to read the world but also to reconfigure it, only at very subtle levels. Most abstract thinking comes from ideas that sit in our minds and require time and more input to simmer into new ideas and demonstrable knowledge.
Isn’t it interesting…the first mom begrudged her parents for giving her too much agency so she adopted a very restrictive parenting style. The second mom begrudged her parents for being too restrictive so she adopted a very permissive parenting style.
this is the ultimate point. humans blame their parents for everything bad in their lives 😂
Exactly what I was thinking about
Very good point. However, unschooling is not unparenting, or even very permissive parenting. There is so much research to back up how important play is and for children. If you have the time and are interested, please look up John Holt. It's amazing that we've all forgot that school is the experiment. Also, the best motivation is intrinsic motivation.
Yes, I thought this was really interesting, mainly bc I think they became who they were bc of their upbringings, but then they think parenting their children in the opposite manner will produce someone like them but better, but what it will likely do is force the opposite. The controlling mom will likely produce adults like the laid back mom or very resentful adults and the laid back mom will either produce children who have to find their own inner discipline and structure to succeed like the controlling mom or just lazy idiots who weren’t educated properly to function in the real world. I’d love to see the update on these kids now.
The umschool kids are living in their parents basement unable to function in the real world playing video games all the time
I had all B+ & As and somehow flunked PE (not dressing out of PE/showers) and had to take summer school. I love that my mom knew not to care and happily took me to summer school instead of berating me. Thanks Mom.
I was the same, all As, the occasional B+, but I didn't flunk PE, I played loads of sports and played flute until I was accomplished enough to teach it... I'm keen to know, did you find school easy? I did, and I wonder if that's why I got such great grades. I live in Australia so the longest time we have off school during the year is about 3 weeks, at Xmas time, how much time do you guys get off school in summer in the US??
P.s. I'm currently 44yrs old and unemployed. Bring great at school obviously didn't make my life better.
I pray all the Carneys dreams come true. The Dad ,the Mom, and the son are all so inspiring. You can tell they want their son to have a good fulfilling life. I pray they get it too.
Someone looked it up- the son is very successful now. He’s an executive in avionics
How can kids learn who they are, if their parents control everything they do? Wouldn’t that only teach you who your parents are?
I was homeschooled as a kid. Wait until those kids are old enough that becoming independent requires a structured nine to five job. I'm still adjusting to the obligations of normal life, and I'm almost thirty.
Well, myself and all my public school friends are right there with you. Is it due to homeschooling for you, or is just working too much in the county we live in?
@@Beepbopboop19exactlyyyyy
You were lucky but unfortunately it sounds like you've become a sheep like all the rest
@@Beepbopboop19no , it’s about what your parents teach you about responsibility and what is reality . If they prepare you for that it’s not a shock or a burden
Most homeschooling parents think a 9-5 job is not for their kids and they will own their own business and show up to work whenever or will have other people work for them. They call schools factories that produce workers, which their kids won’t be so they don’t need it. Most people have to show up to work and work for 8 hours so o don’t know what they are thinking.
There's a major lack of emotional education from these parents. Achievements do not replace emotions and feelings. The individual will try to fill that void later on in life with something and will be impacted in their own romantic relationships that will inevitably be toxic.
they will most likely end up addicts sadly 😢
Guide them, support them, nurture them, protect them. Don't overload them and steal their childhood.
The whole pageant thing rubs me wrong, it sexualizes little girls. Also we shouldn’t be putting such an emphasis on appearance.
I agree, especially at that young of an age. There is no talent or anything going on, just little girls standing there looking pretty? So creepy
@@ChevonBayless I don’t personally feel like it’s creepy, my concern is the lack of structure and the fact that it’s so drastically different than the norm that their children risk not being able to acclimate when they need to find a job. Employers aren’t going to tolerate employees who say “well I’m not going to do that task because I’m not interested in it.” It’s incumbent on parents to properly socialize and prepare their children for adulthood and one way that is done is by educating their children. Either the parents have to do it themselves or they send them to school. If they do it themselves they really need to think about possible outcomes; meaning will the education they provide be sufficient training for adulthood and since adults usually work parents need to consider that as they educate their children. So yes to the kid being interested in what they’re learning but no to the lack of structure. Also we have to stay in reality, sometimes in life people have to do things they don’t want to do, that’s life and parents have to teach that.
Agree with sexualization. I don't understand why we think every human is intellectually interested or capable. I think you mean letting their personal inner gifts me priority?
@@ChevonBayless oh I see I must not have read all of your response!!!
There’s literally nothing positive about it. Tears down their confidence and sense of beauty in their natural selves. Just sick and twisted.
I hope that little baby Annalise never see this footage. Juts going to crush her little spirit to see her mom basically tell the world she doesn’t think her own daughter is pretty. So hurtful.
hopefully she just realizes her mom had warped priorities
Her mom is deranged, the fact she was upset that her other daughter won is seriously appalling
Annalise probably would have realised her mothers not the brightest
Lawon's parents = RESPECT! Regardless of what their son decides to do, he'll be successful AND a good human being :)
Thank you for posting the original air date. So helpful.
This is all so nauseating. I am a 70's latch key kid and thank god I learned independence, self-reliance, failure, team work, boredom and the word "NO".
Agree! I was a latch key kid in my youth as well in the late 70’s until graduation in high school and also am glad how I was raised as well. Riding bikes,playing with friends until dark,having freedom to be a kid. These poor kids are missing out on having fun. Feel sorry for them.
And you guys are of the age group now that calls the cops on kids playing alone in the park 😅
@@hannahsharma5108😂😂😂
Parents will go through all of these extremes when the kids are young, only for them to become criminals, drug addicts, abusive parents…etc. We develop our own personality and have our own minds. At the end of the day, u do what you wanna do with your life.
3 hours of tennis three times a week for a 6 year old is nuts!!
Poor little pageant girls😢😢😢😢
There should always be a balance
I absolutely LOVE Lisa Ling and how she conducts interviews!! Can’t wait to watch this documentary, I’m nervous 🫶🏾
@@ALLQUEEN51 Lol…right!
The unschooled kid who wants to go to space is never going to get there without formal maths and science. Theyre setting up their kids to have a very hard life. The kids are just playing video games all day...that is not learning.
13 years ago...I'd like to see where the kids are now...They need a healthy dose of structure and routine to regulate...She just thru in the few little sub par teaching lessons I assume for this recording...your kid isn't learning from video games, now if you get him into a group of kids that are into programming/ developing games..or building those towers for PC people..but that won't happen....I see the very strong minded boy Lewaun is a football player now...can't get much more info on where they are now, from the comments anyways.
Lazy parents
My own opinion is that this is “Child Abuse”! How sad for these two little girls 😢😢🤯🇨🇦
Let kids be kids!!!!!
Key word! Explore their dreams! for their kids
That unschooled concept is wild.
We do unschooling for the most part, but that family was bizarre!
The way she is doing it is wild!
@@AJ-ps2bwoh you unschooled correctly? Bah-humbug. The education system is designed to exercise the brain and teach a brain how to learn. You will learn forever. Have you ever talked with someone from a country with poor education? They get by but you can tell they aren’t firing on all cylinders. I’m sure you have decades of research and experience on how the brain works through routine tasks?
Billie Eilish and Finneas were homeschooled/unschooled.
This way is lazy. Sorry. She is raising kids that have no rules. No way of being able to live in the real world. They don’t seem to be schooling them on anything that will teach them basic skills to live in their own.
We need a follow up!
The footballer is now an aviaion/electrical engineer. I'd say his parents did well...a well rounded kid. Imagine if they'd had the money of the Shoneys or any other well off family.
Mom, your breakfast consists of Cheerios. Who are we pushing to do better?
I'm very curious to see about how children who are unschooled do in life.
Mine grew up to be hard-working, responsible, mature young adults who have a wide variety of skills and interests. Not using drugs or playing video games, they look after themselves well.
Pageant beauty is the most extreme for me here
I am emotionally and physically burnt out for those children.
So many of these parents see their kids as merely objects, an extension of themselves rather than a unique human being in their own right. The kids are effectively dehumanized as a result.
Tha pagent dad is completely silent. I wonder what he thought deep down when Lisa asked if that 10grand can go towards the girls educational fund.
I thought that reporter looked familiar! I love Lisa Ling! Reporting journalist what she does is amazing!❤
Kids need to be loved first and foremost. I don't see a lot of love in any of these except the dad who wants his kid to play football.
In that family it seems like the boy wants to play football too. I also think if he would't want to and play another sport instead, the father would accept that.
I hope that whatever Lawon is doing now he is happy and thriving.
Man I would LOVE to see a follow up to these kids now!!
Basically some chose to live through their children?
Absolutely. Setting them up for a lifetime of anxiety and feeling inadequate. And probably resentment towards their parents. I’m all for parents helping their kids achieve their dreams but it should be the kids dream, not the parents. Kids are fully formed individual humans with their own wants, personalities, challenges, strengths, etc.
HELLO!!
But i do agree with some of these practices.
All these parents depicted have no lifes. Hence the living vicariously through those poor children. Most likely the expression of lost childhood will manifest in ugly ways. America, remember the Menendez brothers??...
ALWAYS LOVE TO WATCH YOUR LISA LING DOCUMENTARYS.❤❤❤
Autonomy is important in childhood
The first set of parents scare me!
Well as an Indian girl I don’t agree with that parenting method. My parents believe kids should be kids
WOW that's crazy! Lord have Mercy on those poor children!
So happy that they are uploading new eposides
They ain't new. Over ten years old..
@ishotthesheriff5686 I know I was just happy of the uploads
@@diegooregon4481 same here. I love Lisa Ling and the stories she covers..
Very impressive and proud of lawan whole family
"Please" was my son's first word. At two, we're now working on "thank you" and "excuse me". There's nothing wrong with wanting your child to have manners.
No one will argue that, every child should be taught manners as well as respect, integrity, responsibility, consequences…..to name a few.
Manners should be part of the schooled & unschooled. Very important.
Dada. I’ll take dada over please any day. Please? Maybe pla? That’s a complicated first word.
@@LAVirgo67 And, lots of kids are in desperate need to learn manners. But, then children learn from watching their parents' behavior.
@@MrBobbo18 They are not mutually exclusive.
I'm glad there's no beauty pageant for children in my country. It's scary. My heart breaks seeing these girls, especially since it sounds like their mother knows she's doing it for HER satisfaction.
There’s definitely an element of child abuse in all of these but to me the worst of them all is the pageant.
Those twin boys are going to go crazy when they start college.
That’s what I thought- joining a frat and going crazyyyy 🍻🍻🍻
"We make them"...That seems a strange way to refer to your children, instead of saying, "We teach them, we influence them". She feels she must usurp their free will. That's alarming...
I heard that too and that’s the first thing I thought, her choice of words said a lot about her there.
Disgusting
this is why parents-to to-be should have a pass a psych eval to have kids.
If this mom wants to b a Astro physicist Why not go back to school And see where Her journey takes her?
I was asking the same thing!! It's not our parent's responsibility to make our career decisions for us! She could have gone to college and studied whatever she wanted to.
Thankyou!
Living vicariously through their children🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
Why didn't they mention the twin's little sister?
It is very important to discipline your children and have a routine but it’s okay to let them have some breathing room sometimes
It is painful to look at that older kid just playing video games. I believe we should encourage our kids to pursue their interests. I also attended a Catholic school. Now, my child is enrolled in a private school that emphasizes personalized learning. They cultivate his interests. What does he want to learn? He practices MMA and takes private Spanish and piano lessons. I don't impose anything on him. If he decides to quit any of these activities, he's free to do so. When I was young, I aspired to be a musician, but it wasn't practical due to financial constraints and being raised in Latin America. Here in the United States, my child can aspire to anything. I've faced hardships, and now he has the opportunity to pursue his dreams. He is truly living the American dream.
Oh wow, this was really illustrative of "we parent our unfinished business." I sincerely hope these parents healed their childhood wounds and found peace with their new families. This was difficult to watch.
You can't say I want to work in this lab without a degree no matter how enthusiastic you are about science.
Why don't my kids talk to me anymore? Why did they move me into a home? 😒🙄
I would love an update!! This show needs to come back.
Liza pleaasee, do a follow up want to see what happy productive human beings these type of parenting has produced
Exactly what every child needs and wants , STRUCTURE & DISCIPLINE ❤ this way they feel safe, wanted, needed, loved, protected & cared for!
7 minutes in and still shaking my head in disbelief. Poor kids
Lawon's parents seemed like the real deal to me. They don't just love their own kids, they loved the neighborhood kids too. I think that makes them very special and their son spoke of them kindly and with appreciation.
Fascinating documentary about parents - by a long shot, it’s one of the most demanding jobs. I think the key is get a happy medium and not go to extremes 👍
I’ve been a mom now for 5 weeks so I can’t criticize these parents because I understand they all have good intentions and love their children. I thank the parents for sharing their story and opening up themselves for judgment. I wish all these children the very best. ❤
Why do you think a non- parent & new parents can't criticise parents?
That's a dangerous way to think.
That you could only know the difference between right & wrong, or see issues about things, if you aren't in the EXACT same position?
So we don't care/think about anything outside our life & bubble..
I don't agree.
@@ingridakerblom7577 Somebody who isnt a parent has no idea what it is like to be a parent . People think being a parent is easy and that they wont make this mistake or that mistake and that their child would never do this or that etc and then they have children and the reality is very different than what they thought . Someone without kids has no right to criticize people with kids because they have no idea how hard it is or what it involves or the feelings and emotions that are involved when you are a parent .
@@shari9721exactly !!
@@shari9721Child of a severely abusive parent here - good God you are a pathetic waste of space who is literally ruining this planet
Congratulations new mom! Welcome to the club. ❤️
You’re right, you can’t know how hard it is or what the pressures are until you’re a parent. You have a human life that depends on you for everything, and you’re tasked with helping them learn how to live their best lives! It’s a lot of pressure and responsibility! I’ve been doing this 17 years now, and I’ve learned a lot. And changed course more than once. My husband died when they were tiny, so I’ve done it alone too.
It’s not at all what I expected life to look like when I planned my pregnancies! It’s a very tough, but very rewarding job! All these people in the video, whatever our opinions are of them, are doing what they believe is best and right for their kids. I think it’s all pretty extreme, I wouldn’t do any of these things! But this is America. We value freedom and independence. As long as there’s no obvious abuse, it’s not my business. Raise your kids as you see fit.
This parents are living their dreams through their children. Its sad. Can only imagine the childhood trauma they went through having their needs neglected emotionally and mentally and that's why America is messed up with so many men or boys being killers. I am a cycle breaker with my own children.
I feel sorry for the unschooled children.
The only children who seemed peaceful, like ved and happy are the ones you feel sorry for. Hmmm
I agree. I believe they'll have a hard time when they grow up.
They just won't be able to function in the real world when they grow up and expectations are placed on them, that's the problem.
@@christinamenhennett They have grown up -- this was filmed in 2011. Dexter would be 24 now. I wonder what he's up to?
@apartmentgroup9671 that's a good question.
I know a guy who was forced to do tae kwon do and earned a black belt as a kid by strict parents. He grew up to be the opposite, don’t have the desire to work out, go to college, clean… basically so lazy because he feels he over did stuff as a kid
The pageant mom said it outright-that its about her, not the kids. At least the other parents are trying to help the kids
BALANCE is the key… these extremes always blow up in parents faces…🤷🏻♀️