"anorexic" is a medical term for a symptom, the loss of appetite and interest in food. It is not the same as "anorexia nervosa" which is a psychiatric disorder. In popular/lay use, people often say anorexia when what they are actually referring to is anorexia nervosa, which is where the apparent confusion comes from.
People think if a child is abused at such a young age it won’t affect them because they “won’t remember”. They may not remember exact circumstances when they’re older, but the abuse literally changes the way their brain works and develops and this is proof of that. This is very sad
amen! abuse literally changes everything about you, even how you process information. Whenever I hear people say "This is why we need to start beating our children again," I become so enraged. There is a reason why we don't do it anymore. Its not worth the damage.
@@_lithp There are couples who are mother and mother or father and father and they can still raise a baby just as normal. Its not about their title its about the emotional support they give the child.
When you've been raised in an environment where you need to survive and your safety is dependent on understanding those harmful adults around you, you don't learn how to play. You just remain vigilant....
💯💯💯 Exactly! We become prey animals and the adults the predators. Lone/defenseless prey animals learn the #1 thing is to always be vigilant to one’s surroundings. They also learn to not draw attention and to freeze when dangerous circumstances escalate.
Most babies dont desire to be watched playing, children want to be played with. My autistic son is an independent, preferred to play solo and needed to learn how to socially engage and play with others. We really have no idea if what this video is claiming is the truth in regards to these children's background.
@@hydrofire1296 I agree with that. As someone who is on the spectrum and has 2 brothers on the spectrum. This video doesn't say a lot in it, it's an old film and study. However these babies seemed more occupied with watching the adults wandering around them vs freely exploring these new toys or even just doing nothing. That is telling to me for their age. But I do agree that the information in this video is flat and assumes all of the babies used, were neurotypical.
See how quickly the neglected institutionalised ones have figured out connection is far more important than silly toys or things. In the forced adoption era that I am a child of these same authoritarian figures told our real underaged parents that if they adopt the child out that it would have more things. So wrong.
my mother, who left when i was 6, will still to this day (37 years later) say things like "why are you not more like Hayley? (her step-daughter). Why can't you ever just relax?" And I tell her well, Hayley grew up with two loving parents in a clean, safe home. I grew up with an abusive alcoholic chainsmoker and had to raise my little bother and take care of that old drunk man, cook and clean and do laundry and help with homework and worry about every little thing starting around age 7-8. I had to worry about bills and food and school and was working since I was 9 (paper route, babysitting, "real" job at 16, I have never had a break) and picking a grown man off the floor after he'd fall down the stairs drunk at 3am. Hayley just got to live her life, have fun, have friends, and not worry. She got to think about herself, her interests, what she wanted, who she was as a person. She had everything she needed waiting for her, and most things she wanted. I dealt with poverty, not having clothing, not having period products, not having enough food, not being able to pay the heating bill. Someone who grows up in survival mode, constantly on edge and worried and stressed out, ends up a lot different than one who grew up free of all that, and with love and care. But thanks for asking!
I know one thing about you I shouldn't and that's that you're ungrateful to be alive you feel too sorry for yourself and complain constantly well that's actually three things.
To see babies described as anorexic...that's got some control issues to it. These tiny kids lives are so out of control and screwed up that anorexia is developed? My God how maligned these kids lives already were. Then realise millions of them. What a humanitarian travesty. Wonder was there follow up studies.
@@lorinapetranova2607 I feel that the institution may have contributed to their anorexia. I’ve watched and read about much of that eras institutions. They simply neglected the children, for lack of staff mostly. Lots of feeding babies requires a slow progress of spoon fed time consuming attention…. Likely in which nobody wanted to do. Thus, they say the babies are “anorexic”.
@@lorinapetranova2607 you have to take into consideration when this video was made. Anorexia is an old medical term for low body weight. It has only recently taken the mental component of control and food aversion into account.
@@natalyrausch yes they mean medical anorexia; it’s when you’re undernourished but not by choice. Like through an illness or neglect or not having money for food. You don’t think you’re fat.
It hurts my heart so much. I’m 27 and have refused to have kids until I can finish my degree, having come from a bad childhood and struggling as a young adult. My boyfriend of 7 years and I both won’t have a kid until we finish school. I’ll probably have my first child at 30. Meanwhile there are people who just have kids and don’t think this way at all. Having a stable home and family is so important....
@@lovexoangel Exactly! And how do boomers react to that? You'll be unattractive and and will "sour" by then. Like so what? I'll adopt! There's too many orphans who ended up in orphanages, mostly living in terrible conditions that would have their lives changed if they had loving parents to raise them into amazing members of the society! There's too many orphans that I could raise as my own children and be proud of than having to worry about "souring" or not being able to have biological children in any way. Time to put away the corrupt old school thinking. Time for parents to focus on being the best role model for their kids before they bring them to this world.
For the most part parents don’t really intend to hurt their children and often end up feeling a lot of shame and guilt about it later on. They were usually neglected as children themselves and never learned how to be good parents. Not an excuse but explains things and helps us to have compassion for them. We don’t choose the families we’re born into. Hurt people, hurt people😢
It’s sad and everyone understands when it’s a child, but these same children become adults and people just expect them to be fully functioning and well-developed. There is no compassion then. EDIT: If you watched this video or read other research pertaining to this subject then you know that childhood abuse/neglect/ trauma has the potential to actually change how the brain functions which could impact the way victims function for the rest of their lives. It’s not about deferring blame or knowing right from wrong, at this point it’s hard scientific fact. This comment was not written to excuse violent or aggressive behavior because of childhood trauma. It was written because many times these same kinds of children grow up to be ridiculed, bothered, bullied, and taunted for functioning differently (be it depression, introversion, speech impediments, shyness, awkwardness, anti-social, in some cases Autism, etc) by some of the same kinds of people who consider themselves so compassionate or understanding when they see children like the ones in this video. But somehow when they hit a certain age mark, they are no longer deserving of that compassion. Mostly, it’s about just leaving people alone, you don’t know what they’ve been through. This is for anybody, not just those who endured childhood trauma.
When I was in my late teens I gave myself the allowance to not be ‘ok/well adjusted adult considering I came from an environment where people struggled with addiction. Didn’t make sense to think I was a healthy person who was able to love and be loved. I am now 61 and only through the love of God am I here and still learning to accept and thrive in his love, grace and comfort!
This is so true. Most adults with issues and trauma are just neglected children crying inside of an adult body , that abandoned and hurt child never goes away.. these deep wounds will last a lifetime. Praying that they were able to get help and healed , ❤❤🙏🙏🙏
@@jld4870 That’s amazing. I am still here by way of God’s love grace myself. I too came from a family background of addiction and abuse. Your comment really moved me because I have beat myself over the years over why I wasn’t “normal” and when I saw these babies and how they didn’t want to even play..I know just how that feels. Self-compassion is vital.Thank you for your comment. EDIT: I think it is so odd that there are people in this thread who are bashing the way that some of abused /neglected children have managed to find some peace in a Higher Power after enduring trauma. Again, it speaks to some people having very little to no compassion for others.
@@Robertoni7 Your welcome Robertoni7, I believe God is transforming us all to be like him. We just have to trust him-which can be very difficult for folks that are ‘detached’ due to neglect/abuse. But Christ love IS the best and is well worth the journey!
I was told how “mature” I was and that I had an “old soul” because I was quiet and didn’t play or laugh like the other kids did. No, I was traumatized. I was shy and apprehensive and scared.
Eu era exatamente assim, todos adultos que me conheciam diziam assim: "nossa você é tão sério e quieto, tem só 7 anos mas já age como um adulto!" Eu nunca brinquei com outras crianças, só ficava sozinho em casa jogando meu ps2 ou assistindo...
I was the same way, except I’m diagnosed autistic. We all become forgotten as we entire adulthood because all the services for autism are tailored towards children.
Yes, agreed. I remember multiple times other, older women would ask me if my baby is a "good baby. " I knew what she was trying to convey in her "question." I would answer, "Yes, my baby is a good baby. All of my baby's are good." Do you mean to ask me, does my baby sleep through the night? No, my baby does not sleep through the night. This does not make a baby a bad baby. There are no bad babies. They are all innocent. " They would get sheepish and realize the nastiness and incorrect correleations they had made. 🙄
Courts can also move confiscated children around to suit their budget. My parents were gone when I was two. Dad in prison, mum hit the bottle & my bro n me wards of the court. My therapist said my mum was mentally ill, alcoholism is a disease. My life followed the predictable psychiatric roadbumps: raped as a minor,, marrying an abusèr, becoming a prescription drug addict, having a narc daughter that blames me for her choices The mother I always wanted but never knew, who never sent me a birthday card passed away. Means now I'm a legitimate orpan finally.
@@KateBates22zabu I’m so so sorry. I can’t even imagine the pain that caused you. The whole system is so messed up and what’s scary is that not many people have any intention of fixing it.
@@aubreybanner7301 I don't know about fixing anything but thank you for your reply. You may save a life one day by your thoughtfulness. There was a scandal in my area of parents arranging to have their kids *scared straight* in local juvenile facility by eager guards. Paying to have their kids terrorized, this is the world we live in.
@@KateBates22zabu sadly, such atrocities have historically been embraced, dismissed and justified, but times and attitudes are radically changing thanks to the expanses of access to information and its exchange, destigmatization of matters of mental and emotional health and the bravely rebellious and unapologetic displays of embracing personal truth undertaken by so many individuals and collectively as movements which enacted social/cultural change! Viva l'amore et viva la revolution!
yeah the other day i confronted my mom about her being neglectful and she told me that she fed me and stuff, when they give you that answer you just know you will never make them understand
@@buttercup86900 thanks that means a lot. i mean i do love her but her and my dad certainly did a lot of irreparable damage. its complicated you know? like im angry but i still love them.
@memberofchat2825 you are an amazing and strong person to still love them it shows how compassionate and kind you still are! Please never give up and I'd like to give u some advice which is to always love yourself and focus in self care and self love and never forget how strong and amazing you are 🥰❤️
My first kid is 9 months old now and loves squealing and having fun when he plays which is such a contrast to the way these kids act....it makes me really sad that these kids feel like they can't express themselves or even play at all.
Hello, Jesus loves u so much and wants to saves you and everyone. You're so beautiful and precious to God, Jesus forgives sins, repent of his mistake and be a friend of Jesus, He is wonderful and loves you very much. have a good day and week❤❤❤
The traumatized babies were to busy watching the adults in the room in fear of their reactions to them touching a block than actually playing, it's heart breaking.
@cheeririnaldo435 I am SO sorry you had to go through that. You are not alone and you are a survivor. Those horrible things that happened probably made you more aware of human behavior and hopefully served you well in your adult life.
Nailed it. The narrator is totally off in describing their behavior. The child looks around like, where’s the next assault going to come from. Whether verbal or physical.
I was like those children all the way up to 32 and then I decided I’m gonna turn my life around. Here’s what I did in short, read books about childhood trauma, identified what and where my triggers were and faced them head on. I spoke to my parents about what they did, set boundaries, fixed my relationship with my partner whose my wife now. What was done to me was their faulty but what I do to myself is my fault. I changed how I treat myself. I’m not a success story, because life is a continuous journey and if you put your guard down the memories, trauma and triggers will know where to find you. It’s an on going battle but you can fight back.
Yes, people want to pleasure themselves but not care for the natural results of it. Sad to see babies look suspicious and anxious. We can only imagine the life they had.
I almost went through the same stuff. My mom was a workig women and left me with dad hoping he is taking care of me. One day she returned home quick and saw I was laying down alone with no one around with a dirty diaper. She tried to find my dad but he wasn't home. Can you imagine leaving a child of just 9 months all alone in the house. Since then mom started taking me to her work place. Carrying all the necessities. She used to be around all the time and made me sleep in an office table. She never left me alone. She was a gutsy women taking me to a government office along with her. I am grateful for the love and support which the people in her office gave us.
I dont believe this story, you wouldn't know at 9 months that you were on your own, please use your brain when writing fictional rubbish. Stop making stories up! So weird.
@@len8134 yes, I am 32 now mom of a beautiful babygirl who is already 2 now, my father was an abusive husband too, lost my mom to suicide 9yrs ago and I havent seen his face since then..
I can't help but cry at this. I was called a quiet child. Now that I have grown up I know fully well how dysfunctional our family was and how abusive households can destroy a child's brain.
Same, I know from personal experience that for some of the kids the reason why they didn't touch the blocks was because they used to get hit for touching things. But at that age you don't understand so your defense is to sit there quietly and not do anything so you don't get hit again.
I have an adopted child from Bulgaria. She lived in an orphanage until 23 months old. She acted like those kids. She didnt know how to play with toys and was disinterested in them. She been home for a little over a year and you would never know she had a problem other then some fine motor skill problems. Having a family who cares makes a huge difference, and children are unbelievably resilient.
I remember watching in sheer horror a story on Romanian orphanages showing babies, toddlers, children, babies crambed into cots, hands tied, children left alone, many tied to chairs, never once given a cuddle, a stroke of their faces, allowed to play or have someon read them a book. Children with disabilities dumped like rubbish. I have never stopped thinking of those children and babies and have always wished I was wealthy enough to go buy all these horrific "baby/children prisons", sack all staff then employ baby contact cuddlers. Love them. Educate them. Give them a sense of 'belonging'. God love you for what you did. Your beautiful daughter was given a life. Given loving parents. ❤
@@CateB-um7lu I have to agree with you. I actually live in România, and I myself have 3 children. Unfortunately I belive that even today children in romanian orphanages are not raised with affection and attention...It is truly a sad, sad story. On the other had the rules for adoption are pretty strict, and that makes the adoption process long and hard. I have to say that adopting I think is one of the most humane acts one can make, me and my husband discussed this issue some time ago, before having our own. I admire anyone that is willing to welcome such a child in their homes.
@@CateB-um7lu I cant speak for Romania, bit there are videos on Bulgarian orphanages from the 1990s that are pretty bad. I know Bulgaria has worked hard to move these children into "foster homes" but orphanages are still over crowded and underfunded. But yeah, my daughter was pretty much in a crib all day until she came home with us and very very skinny.
I stayed at my Grandma's for a few weeks sometime ago. Back then my baby cousin brother was around 8-9 months old and for some reason he loved looking at the moon in the evenings when we took him out on the stroller. So once out of the blue I took him on my arms and sang "City of Stars" while rocking him back and forth and pointed at the moon. The whole evening he would give me the most beautiful smile whenever he saw me (I'm not good at singing though). On another day he was being annoying to his mother so I took him backyard, on my lap (facing his eyes to the afternoon sky) and kept rocking him and eventually talked him to sleep. Now, he's 1 year 8 months old, I barely visit but whenever I do he still gives me the smile (he hates strangers or people he perceives as being strangers) ! If we have a family gathering, he only sleeps on my arms and squeals out laughing when i snap my fingers (that's something I did when he was just 8 months old). Babies do remember and feel a lot more than what it seems.
Remember that it is appropriate for young children to be suspicious of people other than family and caregivers. A lack of this reluctance is not healthy.
@@RONDAWILLIAMSON Yeah. Also he was born on December 2019, so he technically grew up in lockdown. It's kind of uncomfortable for him to be in a gathering of people.
This is so wholesome. People need to be nicer to babies. So many people are so quick to say "he's being defiant" or "she knows what she's doing." Give them a break, they're just babies.
I was malnourished as a baby and abused by my biological mother. I have a lot of anxiety to this day. I am currently 8 months pregnant with my daughter and I’m so excited to give her the life I never had as a child. ❤️
Hopefully, we learn from our mom's/parents mistakes, I did, my mom made alot, but I was sure I did not make the same ones with my daughter. There's no perfect parent, I'v probably made some. Enjoy your new little one, and be good and forgiving with yourself. My daughter is 14, and a wonderful human being, so far, I did pretty good by her.......
I wish you the very best and applaud you for trying to give your little one the life she deserves instead of those that take it out on there kid. Enjoy every moment they grow too fast ❤️
I wish you all the best with your pregnancy and delivery. Parenthood is hard, but I'm confident you'll learn from your mom's mistakes and do better by your baby.
I don’t think some of y’all realize how much this actually affects your mind, and your thoughts. And your love interests. And your friends. And your intelligence. All the little things. I was a child who experienced this. I am not happy it shaped me. I wish every day I thought normal.
@@wolflehcar8047 I have no feud with religion since it gives people faith, but I don't believe in senseless religious views, what this person needs is a therapist who guides them in behavioral therapy, the religion comes after if they choose to
I am stunned. At 71, I've just discovered this was me. The Super-8 movies still exist. I just thought I was tired, didn't like the camera, or just a "good" baby. I have no words. Thank you for posting this.
@dakneeskat I think I was not clear in my comment. There are home movies taken when I was very young, and I am very similar to the film shown here. I was not one of these children in the study.
@@melodiejohnston9528 That must be very world-changing for you. But you know what, that is more knowledge gained. You are strong for recognising that, and you will gain even more strength and knowledge from that.
I like my kids. They listen to me. I feel like the older they get the more I think they are wonderful. I hope my kids turn out ok. I pray about that often.
I was insanely calm and level headed for my age, and not a single adult stopped to consider that may not 100% be a good thing because they were too busy praising me for good behavior
Children are supposed to misbehave, that's the point of childhoold- to make mistakes and learn from them. If a child is scared of making mistakes- not even repeating wrong behavior but accidentally doing or saying the wrong thing, then thats a real problem. You're not teaching them anything, ur just forcing them into submission
My parents always say, “ as long as a baby is active and playing it’s a good sign they’re okay, once they show no interest that’s when you start to worry”
I am completely heart broken for them! How awful, I wish I could love on each and every baby on this planet that is being neglected! They deserve the world, they deserve nothing but happiness 💔
No they aren't lol. Children at that age still have developing brains so they can't process love yet. The video was doctored. Children will always go for the blocks, that's instinct for building and development in tactile senses. You don't need love to function, it's just a chemical reaction that stimulates dopamine. Too much of it causes instant gratification. You don't know what you're saying lmao.
@@therealbonjonny3058 love, care and support are important at any age however when it comes to 'toxic' forms of love, then I agree because that type of love hinders growth and people do fine without that. Ofc love is not only key, so is care and attentiveness. The children who were institutionalized cannot comprehend love let alone care and support because they were never shown that nor experienced that at that age. Therefore, their brain is slowly grappling with that idea that they're not worthy enough and well that can manifest in many different ways when they get old, usually not in a good way.
@lindahuynh9438 what a piece of work. Of course you should talk to your babies! How else will they learn language? I don't get people at all. They don't even stop to think.
@@lindahuynh9438 you're a wonderful mother. that's the perfect age to start reading to your kids. my parents did the same and it made me fall in love with reading, i was reading at an above average level by the time i got to elementary.
@pluto-kl5od same with my dad. When my mom was pregnant with me, if my dad came home and didn't read the newspaper to her belly right away, I'd start kicking up a storm.
3:48 "She accepts without resistance when the block is placed in her hand, but shows no real interest." She accepts any thing as long as she is receiving attention, poor thing. This broke my heart. Then all of a sudden a thought crossed my mind " What if she somehow manages to have a relationship with someone but it is abusive? What if it is toxic? She will just accept it all as long as she gets the attention she was deprived of. This is really sad.
It makes me so angry and upset when people say ‘at least they won’t remember’. I don’t consciously remember a lot from my childhood but my subconscious did. And it manifests on your mental health and your nervous system. After experiencing an abusive and neglectful childhood, I suffered from chronic pain, depression, anxiety, depersonalisation, and complex PTSD before the memories from my subconscious mind came back to my conscious mind. I slowly started remembering things that had been pushed deep down. As a child, you push them down and try to forget as a coping mechanism because abuse is hard enough as it easy, so it makes it easier to try and forget straight away. But it will always manifest in other ways and it will often come back to you. I’m now in therapy for things I suffered as a child. Things I forgot for years. But my subconscious mind and my body never did. Please treat your children right, from the beginning. Parenting isn’t just about giving them food and shelter, it’s about keeping them safe and loved.
I actually remember things from when I was 8-9 months old, I clearly remember images and feelings, I'm 30 now, and there's so so much in the unconscious that we manifest in the everyday behaving and programming
May you find comfort and healing in Jesus ❤ my father has diabetes and his mood swings because of low blood sugars scared me a lot as a young child, but in Jesus I have learned to forgive a lot and felt comfort and healing
Parenting isn't also descrimination like say ...' It's Just another girl born, Vati (dad). Also isn't just about be born and graduate in Europe and had kid's before. Wisdon parentings knows that the little newborn baby is a gift of the universo in Trust... I am a brazilian mother make to bilieve I was the ignorant for 30 years ,- the age the babe give up Life in other country and her business man father doesn't care for her body back
@@deborahbaker1254 Do you know Mother Mary, the mother of Jesus? She is the best mother ever, stable and loving and caring. Perhaps you find it strange, but you can ask her for being your mother. I did and do not regret.
When I was a kid everyone always called me "mature for my age, old soul, quiet" etc. I didn't realize until I was in my 20s that a kid who gives you that impression is a big red flag.
i was called all those things too. i went from a vibrant and loud child to almost silent. no one cares if something might be wrong as long as youre easy to deal with.
Same here. Quiet, super polite... You behave like a shell of a person and they praise you for it. Better than those other kids having fun and being disobedient. But in reality those kids were much better off in life in the long term. Typical teenagers can learn to be quiet and polite in their 20's. It's much harder to learn how to have fun and be yourself in your 20's...
@@berrymint6384 nah see the above comment...big difference between being mature for your age and being such a shell of a child that people feel the need to compliment you as being an old soul.
That's what I was thinking. That one girl reaches out a finger like she wants to touch it and then looks around hesitantly and pulls her hand back. I think she has been yelled at (or worse) for touching things before.
The children never asked to be born, its the parents who decided to give birth. If you're a parent, fulfil your duties and responsibilities of a parent. Love is a necessity, not a luxury. This is so heartbreaking.
You're right about that nowdays I see people having children but they're not ready to be parents and it makes sad seeing that. That the child doesn't get any love by the parents.
Caroline, Veronique, jean, René, Anette, and Colette hope they’re having the best life now. No child deserves to be traumatized by traumatizing parents.
My niece used to go see a therapist. She would take her baby with her The Dr. Noticed how different he looked compared to most kids she would see. My niece's son looked so happy and totally confident and playing. And how he had complete confidence in his mother. Not what she would see with other children.
These kids will grow up and be called “mature for their age”. That’s not the compliment adults think it means Edit: since there’s a ton of confusion in these comments. I never implied that I was calling them mature or that they’d grow up mature, but that people will ignorantly claim them to be, when that’s not the case. (Hah sry for miscommunication)
My mother and older sister said they would leave me sitting alone on the sofa and come back an hour later and I would still just be sitting there quietly. As an adult I deal with anxiety and depression. This video has been eye opening. I was an unplanned pregnancy born to a mother with her own mental health challenges.
I was unplanned and unwanted by my mother. She's always told me I was a quiet baby, sometimes she would make funny faces to make me laugh or get a reaction from me but I would just stare blankly at her. Most of the time I was just sitting there with no reaction, no expresion on my face. I too deal with depression and anxiety nowadays, I was also diagnosed with Aspergers. My relationship with my mother is a lot better now but I feel like I'll never be "normal" or have normal relationships with people because I was unloved and emotionally neglected as a child.
@@ladygiseler2187 God removed me from the depression and anxiety and I have found complete peace in Him and I stopped letting my family issues and upbringing determine where I am to go. You can do the same hun. Nothing is too difficult for God, He repairs in a way it's better than even those who were never broken. It's been a whole 360° change for me internally, and if you ALLOW, it can be for you too. ❤️❤️❤️
This is incredibly heart breaking, the sad thing is that when people see kids like this in real life they think they're just well behaved but seeing the comparison in the behaviors is eye opening. This is why my main goal in life has and always will be to adopt and foster kids, I wish that every child could get the love that they deserved from birth
I so agree! It’s sad that these behaviors that stemmed from emotional neglect get mistaken for being quiet and well behaved. Would love to foster one day too!
Yes If they sit like this and don’t try to interact it is actually a bad sign and people think “what a good kid” , but they aren’t exploring or engaging they are dead in the eyes .. very sad
This is why parenthood should be seen as a privilege and not a blessing or such. Some people do not deserve to be parents and all of the others should be hiven the chance to really think about it and be sure they're ready
@@dramacoma6786 it's easy said than done 1. There is still stigma in society about adopting especially with family, relatives and friends. 2. The adoption process is not so easy sometimes people get picky which leads to child trafficking and that's whole pandora in itself
@mcrts very true, being a hands on mother it's another responsibility where you have to be very attentive and present at all times. it's not straight forward nor has a hand book so it's always most of the time trying to find your feet and learning on the job. If you want social life all the time please spare and don't have a child.
This is both fascinating and heart breaking at the same time. It's crazy to think these babies are now like 60 year old adults. I truly hope they found some peace in life
Unfortunately, this period in a child’s life is one of the most important for physical and emotional development. So parental neglect is built into their unconscious perception of the world; that the world is unsafe. With therapy ppl can heal from this, but scars never truly go away
As a a 50+ person who can associate myself with all those abused children in this video, I can assure you that no matter how hard you try to build a normal life and maintain positivity, the shadows of your neglected, abused and miserable childhood will always find the way to obscure all the happy colours in life you were hoping of seen. You learnt to be numb facing abuse and you remain numb for the rest of your life. The only peace in life you can hope for is to finally discover that it was nothing wrong with you, it was not your fault. You were just unlucky to be born to a couple of adults who did not deserve to be parents.
To everyone who was not cared for the way they deserved: I send a big big bear hug not to your current self who knows about the world’s evil and cynicism, but to your inner child, to that 5 yo kid who needed love just for being alive. May you never forget that child in your pursuit of happiness, success or whatever your current motivator is. Even if you can’t connect with any other person, that kid will forever be inside of you, reaching out to you. So many people may have failed to care for you, but as I have discovered with myself, only you know what you needed and wanted, so don’t be afraid to look deeper and talk to that past self version of you. I send you love, not wanting anything, but for you to know that you deserve kindness, respect and love just for being ❤
@Noel Lecombe ik, it breaks my heart to see those poor children treated like experiments rather than the very young human beings 🥺 I personally wont have any children until I am responsible enough to take care of them. There have been more children put into foster care than children with stable families.
I always hate how, at school, the really noisy kids that cause problems get all the attention. The quit kids are just ‘well behaved’ and nobody asks questions. But those kids can have bad home lives too.
A lot of the noisy kids at school ARE looking for attention because they aren’t getting enough at home. You have similar problems but different ways to cope.
i’ve heard that trauma comes from bad things that happen, but also good things that don’t happen. it sucks trying to confront your parents about being neglectful, they say things like “i didn’t do anything to you!” yes but you also didn’t do anything for me.
"I dont remember doing that,never happened" "you will be dead if it really happened" Choking a mf 6 year old multiple times,trying to cut my toungue with a siccor while pressing my troath at fuck1ng 5 years old,smashing my head against the table at 7,yeah,never happened
A parent's response is always, "I did the best I could." What a simple hollow response and so easy to say. What they should say is "I didn't give a shit, other things were more important to me."
Children need to feel safe before they can show explorative behavior. It breaks my heart to know not every baby gets unconditional love or AT THE VERY LEAST warm hearted care
It’s one of the reasons it’s hard for children to even realize. I didn’t even notice I was being abused and neglected until recently (i’m18) because school just assumed it’s normal or okay, and I wasn’t being severely hit or physically harmed. I thought everyone had parents like mine
My father was neglected as an infant. He has never been able to have a healthy close relationship. His temper and lack of emotional involvement with me and my siblings has affected all of us. Child neglect not only hurts the child, but also the generations that come afterward.
I just want to tell you that the fact that your father was neglected as a child and that he did not have a healthy relationship is not an excuse that he is hot-tempered and does not care about you. ❤️🙏
Heartbreaking. And it makes me garner compassion for how messy my life is, since much of my childhood and adolescence is a blank. I found old school reports expressing concern at how withdrawn I was that "it's like talking to a wall", from when I was around 5 years old, and at age 7, poems I had written about graveyards and missing my family.
The solution to emotional neglect in childhood is to love your inner child. It worked for me. This is how I did it: I found a picture of myself when I was around 2-3 years old where I look really sweet and innocent. I pictured this image in my mind like a meditation practice and started to praise this child (i.e. myself) and showering it with lovely comments like 'I love you. You are the best that has ever happened to me' I'm here for you, I'm going to protect you etc. Basically I said the things my parents never did. And it worked after a period of time. I started feeling love for this child (i.e. myself).It felt really good to say those things to myself. Give it a try it might work for you too!
That's exactly one of the things you do in therapy. Also, I pray the Virgin to be my mom and saint Joseph to assist me as a dad like they did with Jesus and I have noticed my thoughts, emotions changing every time I ask for help. Let's praise GOD!!!! Shalom guys...
Christ therapy, I have discovered it after different sessions of CBT. That's how I get familiar with the concept of our inner Trinity (The Parent, The Kid, Relationship between them). Every human being is a little version of God, the way you talk or treat yourself depends on the way you were treated since you were a kid. If the relationship between caregiver and the child is abusive or neglecting the kid is gonna have a wrong idea about himself (i am wrong, I am not loveable, I don't deserve attention, respect etc.) and never get to the realization He is a child of God. The therapy consists to talk to the Father and ask Him to reveal the love he has towards the Son (which is the Holy Spirit) so you can receive what your parents didn't know how to give you in the right way (for lack of knowledge or because they didn't care enough to be a good parent).
It's heartbreaking to see a child so young already disassociate from reality or have a complete distrust of their environment. This may carry with them for the rest of their life
Looks like ADHD. I was like this in my baby videos. Either too inattentive to the people around me or switching focus to things in the distance. :) can you imagine some bogus doctor taking an add baby and calling the parent abusive? Already Happened. That's how this stuff works
@@postalservice_sp i definitely see what you mean - could be ADHD symptoms but i am wondering if there is a correlation between trauma and ADHD ( for personal reasons ) however, i do understand ADHD could develop without trauma present in children
So very sad! I adopted my grandson at age 3 who was ignored by his mother, and just left in crib! Was a failure to thrive child! Alot of work had to be done. After 1 year, he was well adjusted, outgoing and happy! He will be 29 next month and has 2 children of his own! What a great, loving dad he is ❤😊
When I was growing up my family was a foster family. We took in a set of twins similar to your grandchild. They were called "crib babies." They were completely neglected. At one years old they couldn't even sit up because they were never picked up and played with thus didn't build any muscles. They were completely disengaged and just stared into space. Fortunately they were five of us children who are all girls and we all doted it on them and they lapped it up. Within 6 months of all this attention in love, they both caught up physically and were very happy, well adjusted toddlers. They were then adopted by loving family together.
To see that this was known over 20 years before I was born and my nmom studied psychology removes any last excuses I held for her around not knowing how to raise a healthy child. She took so much pride in having a “good” (quiet) baby. I would take pride in having a loud one, if I’d ever had one of my own. It’s so heartbreaking to see kids like me and know their struggle as they try to find health as adults. ❤
This makes me cry. How much mistreatment can a baby endure to not even behave like a baby and express severe depression? I can't imagine not caring for your children. For me its the other way around, I crave their affection lol. I wish I can just go back in time and squeeze these beautiful babies!
@@bellalunaoxox I rewatched it and cried again!! These babies have absolutely no trust in adults. Children are the most endangered and under represented humans on earth. And that's exactly why we have so many crazy people repeating these cycles. Most of the abused and neglected become exactly how their parents were when they grow up.
I actually had tears come down..I just can't imagine how people can neglect their children.. I would never be able to do that to my son. My heart would break
I don’t even know much about the behavior of babies, but the way René, Annette, and Colette acted genuinely broke my heart. You can definitely tell something is off. I hope all of these children are all well today.
I've seen a baby like that in real life. It was at a crackhouse. The mum just kept getting pregnant constantly, dad in jail, she gave birth then the babies who were drug addicted just got no attention. Man it was so sad.
I dont remember where i read this but its a very sad and heartbreaking quote about the neglected babies. "They stop crying when they realize no one is coming for them."
I remember watching a documentary one time of an orphanage for babies. The reporter walked into a room filled from wall to wall with cribs with dozens of babies in the room and the room was totally silent. The babies didn't make a single noise. When the reporter asked about it the caretaker said that when the babies first get there they cry constantly but after awhile of not having their cries answered they realize that no one is coming to get them to care for them and then give up and stop crying or making noises. She said like it was some kind of great achievement or something. It was awful! 💔
I see..this is long so ,forgive me my parents divorced when i was 2.. my older sister said they only wait till i reach 2yo, big enough to stop breastfeeding.. she left us , because one event lead to another, my eldest sister died when she was 8, then my sister always got sick often cause she has severe asthma,she was born with one kidney,so she has frail body/health, and then my late dad got into accident that left him paralyzed and disabled..my sister was the one who took care of him, she was 6.. i was sent to my aunt for 2years, came back to my dad and sister.. i couldn't form a bond, i only formed an obsession attachment towards my sister, i became paranoid ,afraid ,thinking she'd just disappear,like my mom i guess? so i stalked her until we were in highschool, where she also left, ran away to my mom.. my mom married another man not long after the divorce, i have one spoiled step sister, my sister also told me ,we actually had another step sister that died because of malnutrition,my mom apparently neglected her.. so, i met my mom when i was 17, I'm pretty detached with everyone in my life after my sister..so I'm very distant obviously, i couldn't call her mom , can't hug her ,i was just existing ,only speak when she asks something ,only when needed..she said ,she was hurt, she thinks i hated her, well I don't ,i have zero feelings cause she's just a stranger to me.. then she said something that sets me off, 'I remember how you used to cry whenever you couldn't find me, you'd want me to lift you up, always call me mom' I was furious,or maybe sad i don't know but it's confusing.. i got up and go out to take a walk.. i found out from my sister that after the divorce, i wouldn't stop crying day and night looking for mom, every day, there's nothing they could do to console me so they just let me be ,until one day i just stopped crying completely.. i also stopped eating and started nibbles on rocks/stones..i started hoarding stuff since i was 5 up till recently, i still do hoard things when I'm stressed but it's not as bad as it was.. So now after i learn and read a lot about psychology ,it finally make sense..i get why my sister was reluctant to tell me anything i was curious about.. there's still a lot of things she seems to holding back from telling me, she just assured me to forget everything,let it go, think positive and live happily.. only in adulthood i learn to cry again, i learn to love again.. and all that thanks to my best friend ,with the help of therapist and counselor..
Sadly people do that with their own children still today, they call it the cry it out method. And are quite proud that there babies can sleep well and be put down and not need them. Some parents in a parenting group I was in would be told by others to put headphones on and go to a different part of the house because as a mother it is so unbearable to hear your child cry that it is painful to not care for those needs. But it is still pushed as good for the baby.
@@LeNoir2411 that's heartbreaking 💔 I'm so sorry you had to go through all that! I'm glad you're finally finding healing and being able to have healthy, needed emotions again! ❤
Who else was described by their parents like a quiet baby who barely cried or gave any trouble and as an adult developed a long list of mental and physical illnesses? Edit: got 24k likes and 500 replies and youtube didn't notice me about it. Going to read all your replies now. Thank you all.
Me and knowing my Mother shows strong signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, I don't believe her or my father's bullshit that I was like that for no reason.
I hope, as the years have passed, life has become kinder to Caroline, Veronique, Jean, René, Annette, and Colette. I truly hope each of these children have found some measure of peace and the wounds of their early childhood have healed.
When the brain is stuck in "survival mode" (aka the brain stem), other parts of the brain don't even get the chance to develop. When a baby/toddler feels safe, the brain stem can rest and other parts of the brain are activated, allowing the child to develop balance, coordination, visual processing, language use, concrete thinking, memories, emotional regulation, critical thinking, etc. In extreme cases, an abused or neglected baby, who is otherwise perfectly healthy, may never learn to walk or speak.
Plus, constant fear gives you a high level of cortisole. The so called "stress hormone" - too much of it has serious negative impacts on your health, called stress toxcitity. 1) what you eat and what you crave It increases appitite, especially for sweet and high caloric food, aka junk food, while also impacting how sugars are regulated in your body. Aka weight gain, especially in the belly and face. 2) it increases inflammation in the body: Thinning of the skin which leads to bruising while slowing the rate it takes to heal Acne 3) mental impact Insomnia, fatigue, memory loss, irritability, headaches etc. If you're constantly high on stress, your body behaves just like you're being hunted. It doesn't matter if there is a tiger after you, or not, the reaction is the same. This is why we need more rest.
@@improvement565 so my mood swings, constantly tired and really bad memory is severe stress? I know not to seek medical advice online I'll go to a doctor but those signs are something I should tell my doctor about if I think it's stress? I feel like I'm going mad and everyone is agaisnt me all the time
@@cake94309 i feel the exact same way ! except i couldn’t find a way to put it into words. does it require medical attention? and i hope things get better for you, you’re not alone in this
I found that I have few little normal memories as a baby/young child. Most of what I remember are traumatic episodes - the rest became a complete blank, until I started first-grade at age 5.
Did you do any research? No? Stop spreading those bullshit. I've been socially neglected (my mom never talked to me and played with me only two times in my life) and fuffered from malnutrition but I was pretty smart and started talking very early, I was one of the smartest kids in school. Only phisical neglect such as starvation or abuse could lead to mental inability.
Childhood trauma never leaves you. It’s heartwarming that people show compassion for these poor babies but devastating that they don’t offer to them when they’re adults dealing with mental health issues. People just expect adults to fully function…
@@alicedoors4826 They meant compassion in the comments section, or in general, from other people (such as us) who get to witness the conditions of these babies. OP is pointing out that if we can feel sorry for babies that are victims of abuse, we should also be able to understand when an adult has trouble and/or trauma with certain things.
@@alexis.george I know what they meant but the point is in reality even babies don't get compassion just like adults in the real world. Adults get the same compassion and understanding as these babies in the comment section too.
"He withdraws into himself and takes refuge in the self-soothing activity of thumb sucking" Never did I think I'd read something like that with almost tears in my eyes. I hope the kids are doing okay now.
I used to be a index finger sucking child...it developed into a sucha bad habit that i wasnt able to sleep without that at all till i was of 11-12. And what people did was mock me by asking questions do u still do that?!?! No wonder i am having the worst time of my life with all that anxiety and panic attacks in my adulthood.
Sucked my thumb until my first child was born at 27, dropped it cold turkey without even thinking about it after that. Now at 55 I hug a stuffed bunny pretty much every night (when I'm not hugging the husband😊) for the past 4 years, it helps with major anxiety.
I really hope you and your siblings are in a better place now surrounded by better people!! I'm so sorry you guys went through all that. Please remember that there are people who cherish you and deeply care for you!! And if no one does, someone will come into your life who will provide you the love you deserve🥺 you've been so strong, it's alright to cry it out okay? Let it all out when you need to. It must've been so hard. Reminder to drink tons of water, get enougj sunlight and that you're human!!👉👈✨✨
I can definitely say from personal experience, this is 100% accurate! Being neglected as a baby is a lifelong damage, a mistake your parents made that left for you to fix ever since you were born. My mother was busy watching my older brother during my period of growing and claimed I was a smart and quiet baby that didn't give no trouble, so she would just leave me to play with toys. I am now clinically depressed, borderline disordered, with high anxiety, panic attacks, speech and abandonment issues. I'm deeply insecure and I'm not capable of taking adequate major nor minor decisions. I have searched my whole life for love I never received and live in fear everyday. Please take care of your children! They need human interaction and affection! Just because they're small, doesn't mean they don't feel anything and don't understand! Every day you spend time neglecting them, you are sentencing them to future problems as adults.
I grew up pretty much like you did, have many of the same issues, even now, 56 years down the line. BUT getting a lot better. Would you be willing to experiment with something nonharmful.. that MAYBE could help with at least depression and anxiety? I repeat, what I could suggest, is not a drug, not a funny fad, or anything weird really.. but I need to know if you are willing to try, with absolutely no risk of harmful effects of course, you have had enough of those :) It is working for me, but I am no medical person, so this is not medical advice.. just a tip from a fellow sufferer that anyone can try.
@that blonde babe Because if I did, I would get another comment telling me I cant just tell people to do that? Lol, I prefer your question:) I also know that sometimes, when struggling with all these issues, it takes time to consider something and make a choice. Just to get something pushed into your face makes it a bigger task, hence.. I have made an offer, but I am willing to wait until the person I asked, is ready to reply in some way or another. The answer I get could be "no", which would be fine too.. I wont push.
@that blonde babe Hmm, good point, that could be it too.. it is just so.. very easy, but many are very opposed to it, and claim the opposite is the right thing. Well, I think I read a question in your comment :) And I will tell you what helped me ( after decades trying everything else), its as simple as meat. Just eat meat.. and eat just meat. It stabilized my mood a lot, it got rid of digestion issues, it is healing other physical issues, I can feel it improving. Removing plants completely from my diet helped me a lot.. A huge lot. Including alleviating cravings for sweets and junkfoods.. it is still there, but barely noticable. I need no supplements , but if you were malnoursihed when starting, you might need some initially...but you need those anyway. And it is easy.. get meat, cook it ( or not) eat. No stressful soppinglist or weird ingredients.
Interestingly, my parents also described me as a quite child who almost never cried or gave trouble, except that i developed severe asthma and allergies before the age of 2 (Interesting). Now, at an adult age i suffer for almost all afflictions you mentioned and an autoimune disease.
I understand your pain . I was neglected by my mother , ten years foster care , I suffer panic attacks binge eating and paralysis from Fear in normal situation . My mum was borderline with intense rage . She never bonded to me and my twin sister . I am 40 . I love my own daughter and managed a fairly successful life now. It hasn’t been easy though . I always struggle with anxiety. My dad was schizophrenic too . To be honest my parents shouldn’t of had children .. it was a lot of suffering as a child . Absolute fear and panic of my mothers mood disorder . I haven’t Brene to have successful personal relationships because of my anxiety and abandonment issues . I am 40 now
My childhood trauma caused me to feel utter hatred towards any kind of authority, even if it was just an adult that was actually being nice to me. Later as a teenager my depression reached its peak and I started realizing how unfair i was to those people. I remember one time after the pandemic, i was severely depressed when i met one of those friendly adults again (after not having seen her for years) and she was jokingly asking why i was being nice to her. Later that day she asked me what's wrong and if there was a way she could help me. I cry every time I think back to that day, but ultimately I'm just so grateful for being able to get out of my depression
I want to hug these little French babies so tight, and tell them that they're adorable and lovable and worthy, and that they deserve wonderful parents who care about them and pay attention to them. The haunted expressions in their little faces are KILLING me. I want to make it all better.
@@honks9484 Nuh-uh! Once you're part of a youtube video, time stops, and you're preserved in that moment FOREVER!! I know it's true - I read it on the internet. :)
@@honks9484 there is nothing awkward in expressing compassion to any human regardless of age. There's no bigger tragedy in world than a person who holds back from doing something kind just by thinking it is going to be awkward. Those who rise above awkwardness becomes a true human imo.
These type of programmes honestly help me be a better mother. I cannot even fathom how a parent could hurt, abuse or neglect a helpless infant. Having my daughter (nearly 2) has opened my eyes to how desperately babies need love and how badly they need us
I heavily agree. My youngest turns five next week, and I'm done having babies, but I often remember how hard those first few years were. I never let my babies cry alone, I swooped them up, comforted them, gave them activities both to do with me and while I worked in the same room. I was SO exhausted, but they've both grown to be very smart, creative, adventurous, and a balance of brave and independent, while also never hesitating to come to their daddy and I for help. This video is both reassuring and heartbreaking. 🥺
@@doekawaii6343 i love your comment. My baby girl is nearly 2 and I doubt myself so much. The only thing I am sure of is that i agree with attached parenting, like you described. When I hear someone say a baby manipulates i actually feel like screaming. A babies cry is only wanting comfort in the form of food, love ect. Babies are so pure. I never knew how much untill i had my girl. This video honestly disturbs me cause i cannot imagine how uncertain and unnerving to be an abused baby is 😭
Right? What's even worse for me is that I recognize the look of the last baby. The wide eyes, The heavy, irregular breathing and the constant looking around...I do that. I was put through similar treatment from the time I was born 'til very recently. I recognize that feeling...I hope these kids found some peace later in life. I really do hope.
@@DavidRangel08 i think you're missing the whole point. babies should represent innocence and happiness, being completely ignorant to all the cruelty/evil that exists in this world... an adult man/woman experiencing life and going through negative emotions is not the same as a baby doing so.
For anyone who has kids or planning to have kids, please, love them genuinely and unconditionally with all your heart. Take the time to listen to their emotions and feelings and why they do the things they do. It makes all the difference in the world when a child grows up and is nurtured with love and support.
@Pumpkin Kitten that’s neither here nor there you had a baby how can you not love and take care the baby when you gave that baby life my god those bonds of love are unbreakable
As in anything in Life - you must learn before taking on responsibility. Some people don't even know how to love properly. Example: I, myself, had to re-learn everything about how to love in a sane way - and it pretty much contradicts my parent's view of Love. It's priority to heal, learn to love and learn to raise a child before bringing it to Earth.
I am a grown up woman who was neglected in my childhood. My mom was even proud to tell me that every time I cried as a baby nobody came to me on purpose, so I can learn to calm myself and to understand that her life doesn't revolve around me.. She was also very abusive during my childhood. I have to say I still feel like these little babies from video, I show a very low interest to life, like some part inside me is very empty and sad and a void for a hug and attention has never disappeared even with my 37. I don't speak with my "mom" for years, I truly don't care about her, if she is dead or alive. She stole a happy childhood from me and I am stealing a happy getting older from this person. Please hug your children often
@@weDie-tomorrow I know that feeling, when some random people treat you better than your mother. I was always wondering how does it feel to be loved. My "mother" told me that she would like to have a prettier girl than me and anytime when we visited some of her friends with children she was playing with them, gave other children attention and she was truly happy. It was heartbreaking. I broke up a contact with her also because everytime when I saw her face it reminded me of my loveless childhood. When she dies I will take care of funeral but I have no feelings to this person.
@weDie-tomorrow. My mom said after having me & bringing me home from the hospital while she was holding me, I looked up at her like I hated her. Her spankings were on the face, back & neck. She was a hateful woman. Nothing made her happy! I don't remember her ever telling me she was proud of me. She never held me or told me she loved me. When I was seven years old, I got the nerve up to ask her why she had me if she didn't love me. She told me to blame God! She said He is the reason I'm here. I went outside, looked up to the sky & screamed & cried & told God I hated Him. About an hour later, I fell to my knees, begging Him to forgive me. I rode the church bus to church. They would come to get me every Sunday morning. My mom never took me to church. Later in life, when I got cancer, she found out & called me begging me to forgive her. We live in separate states. I didn't want to be anywhere near her. After her asking me for forgiveness, I did forgive her. I had to think about it for a while first. One reason is because she validated what I had felt all those years. She admitted to the way she wronged me. I'm not trying to be selfish, but I mostly did it for myself. Who wants to go through life being bitter & angry all the time?! I didn't trust anybody because I felt she's my mother & couldn't love me, then nobody else could. It was affecting all my other relationships. My self-esteem was really low. I took my feelings out on the ones that truly loved me. After I forgave her, I have to say I felt so much better! It was like a heavy weight had been lifted from me. I made it through an awful rare blood & bone cancer. I wasn't supposed to make it! After that, she called me often & I found out about her life as a child. I started to see what she had been through. I'm not making excuses for her, but she lived an awful life & her childhood had been stolen from her. I'm not going to get into it, but it was truly sad. I don't think she knew how to be a mother from her background & I don't think she knew how to truly love someone. She was never taught. Everybody that was supposed to love & protect her let her down. My mother made a better mother to adult children. We talked a lot after that & she was the one that initiated the phone calls. She told me that I had done really well in my life & it was a damn shame she couldn't take the credit for it, lol. What she didn't know was that the more she told me I wouldn't amount to anything, it made me try even harder to prove her wrong. I worked & paid my own way through college. I found a great job. She called me often & she told me she loved me & was proud of me when it was time to hang up. I think I had been waiting on those words from her for a long time. It was like getting to know someone. I'm happy to say that no matter how bad my mother treated me, I had never said a bad word to her. My mother passed away in Sept 2021. I'm so glad I forgave her before she left the world because I have no regrets & I loved her as much as I could. It wasn't a perfect love but love nonetheless.
Caroline, Veronique, Jean, René, Annette, Colette... I hope you all grew up to be wonderful ladies and gentlemen and had so many children and grandchildren who love you dearly and take care of you! Every child deserves to get the attention and love they need; their family's love, the unconditional genuine love...
Thank you for explaining the difference between anorexic as a medical term for a symptom of loss of appetite, and anorexia nervosa. I didn't know there was a difference until now. Thanks again.
My parents told me that when I was a baby, every time I cried, they would put me in a crib in a room by myself. They’d leave me there until I stop crying. This stems from my dad’s parents. I’m on medication for depression and anxiety. I have social anxiety since I feel judged by everyone for everything I do. I’m always afraid people are going to be mad at me for a reason I can’t understand. I understand the kids not playing with the toys. I personally would wonder what the ulterior motive is. It’s hard for me to believe that people are genuinely kind to me.
My family had the motto "children are seen and not heard..you speak when spoken too..etc) I cried it out too. I have severe anxiety and depression and abandonment issues. I can only imagine what these poor kids have gone through. The ones who are looking around before they touch the blocks are trying to gauge if it's safe to touch it or if they're going to be smacked out of the chair when they touch it.
Please check the channel that is called "Crappy Childhood Fairy", it seems like you have CPTSD (childhood complex PTSD), she's a therapist and her videos can help you heal, good luck!
I feel sorry for you as I can relate to it from my experiences. I started finding reasons for my feelings after reading a book about complex ptsd (Pete Walker). Maybe this could help you, too?
in the uk, you don't need to have a certain degree or anything. just make sure you were never locked up for any child related reasons cs that's all recorded
I was a neglected child, it took me years to trust people and to know how to show affection in healthy ways. Even to this day as an adult I'm still struggling a lot.
@@pritybird8502 It is actually a really good thing to be an introvert though. There are similarities between autism and introverted so I suggest you look these up on youtube. I looked up videos of introversion vs autism and I found out I am introverted but there are really good qualities about it. I am going to embrace my introversion but also work on showing affection more.
Same here. And whenever I feel like the relationship is too good or too happy, I'll do something to ruined it. Cause Idk how to deal with a healthy relationship. But I'm lucky that my boyfriend is patience with me. I'm learning to improve myself from time to time. I'm sure, you can too. We all deserve to be happy. So don't give up and never loose hope.
Oh man… UA-cams algorithm has been giving me a lot of self-help related videos, not unlike this one here. I’ve learned and felt a lot over the past few months, most of it having to do with childhood trauma and neglect. But the things we experience, often before we know it, have a profound impact on us and those around us. The choices and decisions we make send ripples through space-time. We don’t know how fair the ripples go before they naturally dissipate, but while they’re here, we see them in many overlapping and compounding forms, like avoidant behavior, emotional irregularities, drug/alcohol abuse, nihilism and many others. Btw, thank you for posting this video.
Your absolutely right. I don't have kids my brother has 2 under 2 I help with my nephew he's 17months, he's the funniest man I know who can't talk yet & he's up to 16 steps. He's my sunshine on wee shakey legs 🤗 I was nearly scared to watch this because his mum had been coming & going from his life through her choice 🤷🏼♀️ I've been trying to not over step my Aunt roll but if she's not going to step up I will. She had 2 other kids (not my brothers) taken off her 10yrs ago because of this my brother keeps giving her chances his heart is coming from him wanting his kids to have what we had as children. A stable loving environment she's been back for 3 weeks I didn't see shorty for I felt like I couldn't breathe but I took him out for a massive walk, in to my mum's for a bottle & a change & walked him back to his parents. I nearly sent that video to my brother, until I saw your comment I'll just say goodnight to you & saw him taking anything the wrong way. He's living with a domestic terrorist so obviously he's constantly nippy af hence why I didn't see them for 3wks. Smfh🤬👻💙💜🏴
These videos provide opportunities to learn about human psyche. The more we understand, the better we can prevent or handle tragic situations like this. It's up to us as a society to act on it since there is no supernatural being (god) who intervenes.
@@VioletJoy 👏👏👏 how did I know I would find a self absorbed atheist who feels the need to make some degrading dismissive and unhelpful comment? People like you are the exact reason that I rather hang out with a religious person any day of the week, even though I'm an atheist. Since you seem to be a person of science and reason, you may want to look into the social science research comparing those who are religious versus those who are not. Increased life satisfaction, happiness within marriage, reduced divorce, which in turn results in reduced CHILD ABUSE. The religious donate more money to charity, and its not even close. I bet you're the type that considers your taxes charity. LMAO. The religious volunteer more hours and take in more foster children, which REDUCES THE NUMBER OF INSTITUTIONALIZED CHILDREN. The list goes on and on. For someone who seems so quick to degrade another's persons belief system, you sure seem to lack the most basic of insights. Self reflection. You don't need a God to do it. Try it some time, it may result in you being something other than a miserable person who feels the need to belittle others in a desperate attempt to make you feel better about yourself. Signed, An atheist who'd hang out with a Christian over a smug self-absorbed athiest ANYTIME.
@@protectyourself33 I'm a Christian and I have this EXACT same response to people posting Bible passages and yelling at people that they need God in their life. I would rather hang out with an atheist with a positive attitude toward fellow humans than a fanatical "Christian" that spews hateful messages in the name of "God". You're a good person 🤜🤛.
I’d just like to make it very clear that there are some children who are very well taken care of and loved and they may show these traits and later on be diagnosed with autism. Autism is NOT the result of neglect, but signs of neglect can mimic signs of ASD.
I was waiting for an autism comment! No one is saying it.. So thank you! I have autistic kiddos.. This video is so old that autism was a given trait and not genetic. My kids are very well loved and cared for.. Especially mentally. I always talk with them.. Ever since they were born. Autism is not a form of neglect.
I was emotionally neglected ( and physically abused) by both parents growing up. I would ask them questions and they'd continue to do whatever they were doing and completely ignore me. I'd repeat myself and nothing. I'd eventually feel so awkward that I'd run away to my room embarrassed that I was ignored. As a baby my mom said I'd cry a lot in my room alone and that I was fine. As an adult, I rarely speak to people outside of my family. I stutter and want to give up halfway through a sentence because I think "what I have to say does not matter. so why finish it ?" Why would my thoughts have any importance ? So, I get shocked when my voice is heard, when I am acknowledged. I am now struggling to accept the fact that what I do and say matters.
I am so so sorry you're voice definitely matters and you definitely deserve to feel and be heard. I hope you're healing from that and unblock your throat chakra❤️❤️ if you ever need to be listened to lmk
"I stutter and want to give up halfway through a sentence because I think "what have to say does not matter. so why finish it?" Why would my thoughts have any importance? So, I get shocked when my voice is heard, when I am acknowledged. I am now struggling to accept the fact that what I do and say matters." It felt like you were talking about me. Seeing people going through similar things on the other side of the world makes me feel like I'm not alone and gives me the courage to stand up. I hope we get through this.
All people are the same and no one is better or worse. Everyone's voice matters. I hope that you will love and be loved very much. Let childhood traumas be transformed into good. Now you know exactly how to love correctly. Sing more, write a lot, love life and forgive your parents.
I'm middle-aged and often still feel this way due to my own similar background to yours. It doesn't go away that worthless feeling even after you've studied and understood it. It is that ingrained. Even when we know we are worthy. I suppose just doing little positive things helps and spending time with only good people. All the best to you xo
The neglected and abused babies seem to be afraid to touch the blocks in fear that They will be yelled at or hit. They seem incredibly sad. They probably don't trust Anyone Big.
They are having the constant fear of being hit or screamed at them . That is why before doing any action like just picking up a block they are looking at the people around as if the people are going to hit or scream at them . Because of this trauma from abuse , they are starting to breathe nervously . Really it is a sad thing 🥺😨😟
They were neglected, it may be that they weren't even given any attention. They don't have a basic sense of security, so anything new to them is scary and their exploration instict is held back
“An emotionally deprived child may prioritise social contact, which could be motivated by the child’s intense desire to find a maternal substitute…” my heart just shattered… 💔🥺
Unfortunately it may also explain another reason why neglected children are sought after by predators. They are potentially far easier to lure and groom than other children. I know we know this logically but I had never seen it play out like this.
I’m currently in a therapeutic clinic. At 40 I still have to work on the effects of neglect. My mother suffered from schizophrenia and depression and we were all neglected as kids plus we all deal with severe PTSD and personality disorders. None of us lives a healthy and happy life. We siblings do all struggle with substances, alcohol or eating disorders as I do. I could have been an astronaut or a scientist. I can’t even keep a job for more than two months. I am a “smart” woman but my intelligence is useless. The neglect shaped my brain so intensely that some of my automatic responses and thoughts will never be removed from my mind. I started to work on that way too late when the only caregiver I had passed away. I wish I wasn’t told I am a missed abortion. I lived all my life living like I was one. Please, if you struggle with mental health disorders think twice before having kids and get constant support. Some disorders are incompatible with parenthood.
i'm so sorry to hear about this. thank you for sharing your story! it's never too late to turn your life as long as you're still here living in breathing and I'm very happy that you decided to seek help. that's moving in the right direction.
To all parents with newborn babies: try to interact and communicate with them as soon as 1 week old. Remember these angels need conversation and attention than any toys you give.
My baby was put into NICU for a week. I really worry how this has affected our bond sometimes. I hated having to go home and leave him in the hospital without me. I wonder if he felt neglected, unloved or even abandoned, every second he was away from me, it breaks my heart to think about it. I spent every moment I could with him, to the point even the nurses told me to try to lessen the visits as I was missing meals. My baby missed out on being in my arms for the first week of his life. I know it's nowhere near the same situation wise, but I wonder if the effects are the same.
Please don't worry about one week in the NICU, your baby is fine. My son spent 3 whole months in the NICU and I only visited for 5-6 hours a day, holding him and talking to him. His day-night schedule was backwards and he was awake at night with only the nurses to talk to him and asleep during the day with me. He is now an exceptionally intelligent, emotionally stable and very loving 17 year old. He does like/need physical contact and hugs though. @@persephone3309
“Just leave her be. She’ll cry it out.” She won’t. She’ll just eventually realize that you don’t care and you’re not coming to help, and that helpless, lonely, terrible feeling will fester in her mind for the rest of her life, long after she’s forgotten about all those times you let her “cry it out.”
I agree with you 100 percent.I said the same thing in mum groups in facebook for the cry-it-out in sleep training and i was harshly ridiculed. Welp, didnt went back there again.
As a cry it out kid, too true. An infant who is forced to cry it out definitely creates an adult who avoids showing weakness because they fear being abandoned as punishment. My mother and I have a wonderful relationship and she has since expressed serious regret, but even good people can be not great parents
@@cedarspirit it's selfish TO HAVE children. No human wanted to go out from their nonexisting. How when you LITERALLY don't exist. So actually the person who wants a child is the selfish one because of personal goals.
@@cedarspirit Selfish is bringing up a child to this world not being able to emotionally and financially provide for that chid. People have children for selfish reasons such as look good in the eyes of society, keep a partner with them, use children as their companionship, use them as labor, use them as punchbags, use them as pawns...the list is endless.
@@Sarablueunicorn well, you're just adding extra stuff but yeah. These could be the reason but the point is clear. If people wants children, then just fucking adopt one.
59 year old male here who had a traumatic - abusive childhood and was thrown out of the home at around age 14 years old. Mother rejected me for good .. Whole family did. You don't even want to know .. Now, I am in college for this stuff and helping other neurodivergents overcome. Dr. Gabor Mate' understands the narrative presented here and I do recommend his work and videos.
My parents never interacted with me as a child and always acted like I was a burden. I’m 43 now and still feel sad, depressed and angry because they haven’t changed one bit. Whose going to give me that unconditional love!? I just want to be hugged sometimes... No matter how old you are you still need that love and affection. Please give your children all the attention and affection they need before they go seek the wrong kind from other men/women.
Babe, me too... Parents just weren't around for most of my life. I think the answer is self love, self love self love, and also sharing that love with a supportive, understanding and patient partner. It's not easy. I wish you luck.
Only Jesus could give you that love. He loved you so much he died on a cross willingly just so that you may one day know Him and inherit eternal life in the kingdom of God where there is no pain or death or tears. Jesus is the light of the world and so many choose sin over a life full of the love of God.
Longing for a parent's attention and getting neglected is THE WORST FEELING EVER. This is one reason enough for a child to develop mental illnesses. Heartbreaking video.
Yes, I know. My mother died when my sisters and me were too young and we were left at the mercy of a father who was incapable of love. The scars are for life. That void in your childhood can never be filled.
I’m 22 and it still completely crushes me when I go to tell my parents something I’m excited about and get told to shut up or get completely ignored. No one especially a child should have to experience that hurt
It's a horrible experience. My caregivers always said that even with my mouth shut I was wrong and I've been negligenced my entire life. This video is pure trigger for me
Being born in a functional, loving and caring family is truly a privilege, there's literally nothing u can do as a baby or as a child if you don't get to experience the love by the persons who should care the most about you. I'm really sorry for all the people that have traumas due to that bc it's not their fault but also my whole respect to the ones that took their healing into their own hands and decided to be better to not repeat the same history with their own family. The two most important human beings of my life are some of those people, they are my parents.
Yeah, kinda hard for them do that when you don't have money to get that healing not to mention, in order to get healing done, you have to know that there is something wrong with you to begin with. And with how we still treat mental health issues to this day, most people don't even realize that they have issues that need some healing or fixing. Not to mention the fact that 50% of children who are put in an orphanage become homeless and 25% of them will kill themselves. Which this video did in fact mention, some of those kids were orphanes.
@@klausd.6285 My parents were very poor and they had me when they were 20, they didn't have opportunities to study so they worked in whatever job they could find since they were teenagers. Both were neglected by their fathers and my dad was abused and humilliated by his own father since he was a little kid. Ofc each person is a different situation and they get affected differently but what you said is not the only solution if you want to do things better for yourself and take control of your future and the life you want to have. Healing not only comes from a psychologist or a expensive treatment. I'm from a third world country and mental health here is very far from being relevant even till these days because people are more worried to at least get something to eat every day.
@@SunShine-kd6td its human to make mistakes. When you make mistakes you dont really know what youre doing, otherwise you wouldnt do it. Nobody gives birth thinking "ill ruin my baby's life cause its cool" thats why babies get abandoned and families get destroyed.. if they knew earlier they wouldnt make the same choices but this is not how things go, i Think it would be better if we understand that we're only humans and we are made to fail, thats our true super power. Everything comes from that, you fail and then you learn, constantly. In my humble opinion the real utopia is thinking that we Will be perfect parents, that we Will always succeed, that we will always be who we want to be and exactly where we want to be. We dont work like that. How far can we go though? How can we limit ourselves in order to not destroy what we have? I dont know. But i dont feel like constantly blaming the parents is always logical... sometimes we are just sadly and irremediably fuck*d up as creatures.. we need to accept this and then work it out to improve, and never lose our strength to move on and step forward.. again this is just how i feel about the argument.. I dont mean to make you feel like youre wrong, i replied to your comment cause it just Made me figure everything out
![Christmas Trauma: Why You Feel Fake & Frustrated Around Your Family - Inner Work Library [183/500]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/DeG8c9zMNa0/mqdefault.jpg)
"anorexic" is a medical term for a symptom, the loss of appetite and interest in food. It is not the same as "anorexia nervosa" which is a psychiatric disorder. In popular/lay use, people often say anorexia when what they are actually referring to is anorexia nervosa, which is where the apparent confusion comes from.
I had anorexia at the age of 3 and still suffer to this day. Early childhood trauma is a big deal. (I’m 27)
It could have possibly been lost in translation, many things are not always translated properly
@@victoriancrow I’m so sorry. You are strong
It is a french word "anorexique", I believe it's the term for someone suffering from anorexia nervosa
So that's why I lost my appetite....
People think if a child is abused at such a young age it won’t affect them because they “won’t remember”. They may not remember exact circumstances when they’re older, but the abuse literally changes the way their brain works and develops and this is proof of that. This is very sad
This speaks volumes
Agreed. There's a great book on trauma called The Body Remembers that addresses this.
My body remembers and I do most of it
amen! abuse literally changes everything about you, even how you process information. Whenever I hear people say "This is why we need to start beating our children again," I become so enraged. There is a reason why we don't do it anymore. Its not worth the damage.
👏👏👏
Every child deserves a parent. Not every parent deserves a child.
(Not) every parent ?
Every child deserves two parents: a mother and a father.
@@_lithp There are couples who are mother and mother or father and father and they can still raise a baby just as normal. Its not about their title its about the emotional support they give the child.
@@_lithp "the truth"
Good point
When you've been raised in an environment where you need to survive and your safety is dependent on understanding those harmful adults around you, you don't learn how to play. You just remain vigilant....
💯💯💯 Exactly! We become prey animals and the adults the predators. Lone/defenseless prey animals learn the #1 thing is to always be vigilant to one’s surroundings. They also learn to not draw attention and to freeze when dangerous circumstances escalate.
How heartbreaking is that 💔
Most babies dont desire to be watched playing, children want to be played with. My autistic son is an independent, preferred to play solo and needed to learn how to socially engage and play with others. We really have no idea if what this video is claiming is the truth in regards to these children's background.
@@hydrofire1296 I agree with that. As someone who is on the spectrum and has 2 brothers on the spectrum. This video doesn't say a lot in it, it's an old film and study. However these babies seemed more occupied with watching the adults wandering around them vs freely exploring these new toys or even just doing nothing. That is telling to me for their age. But I do agree that the information in this video is flat and assumes all of the babies used, were neurotypical.
See how quickly the neglected institutionalised ones have figured out connection is far more important than silly toys or things. In the forced adoption era that I am a child of these same authoritarian figures told our real underaged parents that if they adopt the child out that it would have more things. So wrong.
my mother, who left when i was 6, will still to this day (37 years later) say things like "why are you not more like Hayley? (her step-daughter). Why can't you ever just relax?" And I tell her well, Hayley grew up with two loving parents in a clean, safe home. I grew up with an abusive alcoholic chainsmoker and had to raise my little bother and take care of that old drunk man, cook and clean and do laundry and help with homework and worry about every little thing starting around age 7-8. I had to worry about bills and food and school and was working since I was 9 (paper route, babysitting, "real" job at 16, I have never had a break) and picking a grown man off the floor after he'd fall down the stairs drunk at 3am. Hayley just got to live her life, have fun, have friends, and not worry. She got to think about herself, her interests, what she wanted, who she was as a person. She had everything she needed waiting for her, and most things she wanted. I dealt with poverty, not having clothing, not having period products, not having enough food, not being able to pay the heating bill. Someone who grows up in survival mode, constantly on edge and worried and stressed out, ends up a lot different than one who grew up free of all that, and with love and care. But thanks for asking!
You are brave, I don't know you but I love you❤
Why do you speak with this woman at all ? Keep plying family with abusing parent and expect some changes. Isn’t it stupid ?
😢
You’re so graceful with your words despite your experience in life. I deeply, deeply respect you.
I know one thing about you I shouldn't and that's that you're ungrateful to be alive you feel too sorry for yourself and complain constantly well that's actually three things.
They're still babies but they already have anxiety. This breaks my heart so bad.
To see babies described as anorexic...that's got some control issues to it. These tiny kids lives are so out of control and screwed up that anorexia is developed? My God how maligned these kids lives already were. Then realise millions of them. What a humanitarian travesty. Wonder was there follow up studies.
@@lorinapetranova2607 I feel that the institution may have contributed to their anorexia. I’ve watched and read about much of that eras institutions. They simply neglected the children, for lack of staff mostly. Lots of feeding babies requires a slow progress of spoon fed time consuming attention…. Likely in which nobody wanted to do. Thus, they say the babies are “anorexic”.
@@lorinapetranova2607 you have to take into consideration when this video was made. Anorexia is an old medical term for low body weight. It has only recently taken the mental component of control and food aversion into account.
@@natalyrausch yes they mean medical anorexia; it’s when you’re undernourished but not by choice. Like through an illness or neglect or not having money for food. You don’t think you’re fat.
I agree, it's mind blowing
This is why I say not many deserve to have children in this world. No child deserves to be neglected or abused in any way.
It hurts my heart so much. I’m 27 and have refused to have kids until I can finish my degree, having come from a bad childhood and struggling as a young adult. My boyfriend of 7 years and I both won’t have a kid until we finish school. I’ll probably have my first child at 30. Meanwhile there are people who just have kids and don’t think this way at all. Having a stable home and family is so important....
@@lovexoangel Exactly! And how do boomers react to that? You'll be unattractive and and will "sour" by then. Like so what? I'll adopt! There's too many orphans who ended up in orphanages, mostly living in terrible conditions that would have their lives changed if they had loving parents to raise them into amazing members of the society! There's too many orphans that I could raise as my own children and be proud of than having to worry about "souring" or not being able to have biological children in any way. Time to put away the corrupt old school thinking. Time for parents to focus on being the best role model for their kids before they bring them to this world.
That's why abortion and voluntary sterilization should be easily available everywhere.
For the most part parents don’t really intend to hurt their children and often end up feeling a lot of shame and guilt about it later on. They were usually neglected as children themselves and never learned how to be good parents. Not an excuse but explains things and helps us to have compassion for them. We don’t choose the families we’re born into. Hurt people, hurt people😢
@@wendyannruns totally agree with this.👍
It’s sad and everyone understands when it’s a child, but these same children become adults and people just expect them to be fully functioning and well-developed. There is no compassion then.
EDIT: If you watched this video or read other research pertaining to this subject then you know that childhood abuse/neglect/ trauma has the potential to actually change how the brain functions which could impact the way victims function for the rest of their lives. It’s not about deferring blame or knowing right from wrong, at this point it’s hard scientific fact.
This comment was not written to excuse violent or aggressive behavior because of childhood trauma. It was written because many times these same kinds of children grow up to be ridiculed, bothered, bullied, and taunted for functioning differently (be it depression, introversion, speech impediments, shyness, awkwardness, anti-social, in some cases Autism, etc) by some of the same kinds of people who consider themselves so compassionate or understanding when they see children like the ones in this video. But somehow when they hit a certain age mark, they are no longer deserving of that compassion. Mostly, it’s about just leaving people alone, you don’t know what they’ve been through. This is for anybody, not just those who endured childhood trauma.
When I was in my late teens I gave myself the allowance to not be ‘ok/well adjusted adult considering I came from an environment where people struggled with addiction. Didn’t make sense to think I was a healthy person who was able to love and be loved. I am now 61 and only through the love of God am I here and still learning to accept and thrive in his love, grace and comfort!
This is so true. Most adults with issues and trauma are just neglected children crying inside of an adult body , that abandoned and hurt child never goes away.. these deep wounds will last a lifetime. Praying that they were able to get help and healed , ❤❤🙏🙏🙏
@@jld4870 That’s amazing. I am still here by way of God’s love grace myself. I too came from a family background of addiction and abuse. Your comment really moved me because I have beat myself over the years over why I wasn’t “normal” and when I saw these babies and how they didn’t want to even play..I know just how that feels. Self-compassion is vital.Thank you for your comment.
EDIT: I think it is so odd that there are people in this thread who are bashing the way that some of abused /neglected children have managed to find some peace in a Higher Power after enduring trauma. Again, it speaks to some people having very little to no compassion for others.
Underrated comment
@@Robertoni7 Your welcome Robertoni7, I believe God is transforming us all to be like him. We just have to trust him-which can be very difficult for folks that are ‘detached’ due to neglect/abuse.
But Christ love IS the best and is well worth the journey!
I was told how “mature” I was and that I had an “old soul” because I was quiet and didn’t play or laugh like the other kids did. No, I was traumatized. I was shy and apprehensive and scared.
i'm so sorry. i hope you're doing better now.
Same here! It took me 36 years till I understand it.
Eu era exatamente assim, todos adultos que me conheciam diziam assim: "nossa você é tão sério e quieto, tem só 7 anos mas já age como um adulto!"
Eu nunca brinquei com outras crianças, só ficava sozinho em casa jogando meu ps2 ou assistindo...
❤
I was the same way, except I’m diagnosed autistic. We all become forgotten as we entire adulthood because all the services for autism are tailored towards children.
If I could have one wish it would be that every child has loving parents who take the best care of them. It would change the world completely.
Rookie mistake, the first wish is always for a thousand wishes. Only then comes world peace, happy babies, etc.
Eh, babies are resilient. I'll take $100,000,000.
YES!
Agree! The world will be a better place if every parents love and takes care their child.
@@normie2716 no. You don’t deserve the money lmao
honestly the sad thing is that people even parents will call these quiet babies, good babies because they aren’t disruptive.
Exactly
yeah its awful
Yes, agreed. I remember multiple times other, older women would ask me if my baby is a "good baby. "
I knew what she was trying to convey in her "question."
I would answer, "Yes, my baby is a good baby. All of my baby's are good." Do you mean to ask me, does my baby sleep through the night?
No, my baby does not sleep through the night. This does not make a baby a bad baby. There are no bad babies. They are all innocent. "
They would get sheepish and realize the nastiness and incorrect correleations they had made.
🙄
Maybe because some are quite babies.....lol....while others are really loud.....
Noo. Some kids are just terrible and scream 24/7.
The fact that these babies have gone through multiple foster homes and most of them don’t even look like they’re 1 yet is heart breaking.
I'd say it's due to foster parents giving up easily....
Courts can also move confiscated children around to suit their budget. My parents were gone when I was two. Dad in prison, mum hit the bottle & my bro n me wards of the court.
My therapist said my mum was mentally ill, alcoholism is a disease.
My life followed the predictable psychiatric roadbumps: raped as a minor,,
marrying an abusèr, becoming a prescription drug addict, having a narc daughter that blames me for her choices
The mother I always wanted but never knew, who never sent me a birthday card passed away. Means now I'm a legitimate orpan finally.
@@KateBates22zabu I’m so so sorry. I can’t even imagine the pain that caused you. The whole system is so messed up and what’s scary is that not many people have any intention of fixing it.
@@aubreybanner7301 I don't know about fixing anything but thank you for your reply. You may save a life one day by your thoughtfulness.
There was a scandal in my area of parents arranging to have their kids *scared straight* in local juvenile facility by eager guards. Paying to have their kids terrorized, this is the world we live in.
@@KateBates22zabu sadly, such atrocities have historically been embraced, dismissed and justified, but times and attitudes are radically changing thanks to the expanses of access to information and its exchange, destigmatization of matters of mental and emotional health and the bravely rebellious and unapologetic displays of embracing personal truth undertaken by so many individuals and collectively as movements which enacted social/cultural change! Viva l'amore et viva la revolution!
And there are still parents still think that giving material items and food is equal to giving attention, which is sad.
yeah the other day i confronted my mom about her being neglectful and she told me that she fed me and stuff, when they give you that answer you just know you will never make them understand
@@memberofchat2825 they failed us before we ever failed them. but of course facing that is beyond their cowardice/unawareness.
@@memberofchat2825 I'm sorry that you have to have such a cruel mother and I want u to know that I love u even if we're strangers
@@buttercup86900 thanks that means a lot.
i mean i do love her but her and my dad certainly did a lot of irreparable damage. its complicated you know? like im angry but i still love them.
@memberofchat2825 you are an amazing and strong person to still love them it shows how compassionate and kind you still are! Please never give up and I'd like to give u some advice which is to always love yourself and focus in self care and self love and never forget how strong and amazing you are 🥰❤️
It breaks my heart to see the attitude of the kids who were neglected. They seem constantly on alert, anxious, it’s sooooo sad 😢
Yes, like they expect to get in trouble or yelled at...this is making me cry
And they are so little...too little to have had to know that kind of pain.
I think they do not feel safe so they are constantly on alert. Poor kids.
My first kid is 9 months old now and loves squealing and having fun when he plays which is such a contrast to the way these kids act....it makes me really sad that these kids feel like they can't express themselves or even play at all.
Hello, Jesus loves u so much and wants to saves you and everyone. You're so beautiful and precious to God,
Jesus forgives sins, repent of his mistake and be a friend of Jesus, He is wonderful and loves you very much. have a good day and week❤❤❤
The traumatized babies were to busy watching the adults in the room in fear of their reactions to them touching a block than actually playing, it's heart breaking.
@cheeririnaldo435 I am SO sorry you had to go through that. You are not alone and you are a survivor. Those horrible things that happened probably made you more aware of human behavior and hopefully served you well in your adult life.
Nailed it. The narrator is totally off in describing their behavior. The child looks around like, where’s the next assault going to come from. Whether verbal or physical.
@@mstina7346 They were neglected not beaten, neglected children look for reassurance. They explain that in the film.
I was like those children all the way up to 32 and then I decided I’m gonna turn my life around. Here’s what I did in short, read books about childhood trauma, identified what and where my triggers were and faced them head on. I spoke to my parents about what they did, set boundaries, fixed my relationship with my partner whose my wife now. What was done to me was their faulty but what I do to myself is my fault. I changed how I treat myself. I’m not a success story, because life is a continuous journey and if you put your guard down the memories, trauma and triggers will know where to find you. It’s an on going battle but you can fight back.
@@mstina7346 this is me now, being 40
This makes me so sad. Don’t have kids if you’re not ready or don’t really want to care for them
Yes, people want to pleasure themselves but not care for the natural results of it. Sad to see babies look suspicious and anxious. We can only imagine the life they had.
Though I do agree with you, there are much more children on this earth than there are parent's. You have parent's who sex sell their own kids.
that's why abortion should be legal everywhere
@@jx2na196 did my previous comment get deleted
@@annie68164 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽!!! Finally somebody said it.
4:29 you can see him breathing harder and harder like a panic attack :( that’s so heartbreaking. Just because he was handed a toy.
I almost went through the same stuff. My mom was a workig women and left me with dad hoping he is taking care of me. One day she returned home quick and saw I was laying down alone with no one around with a dirty diaper. She tried to find my dad but he wasn't home. Can you imagine leaving a child of just 9 months all alone in the house. Since then mom started taking me to her work place. Carrying all the necessities. She used to be around all the time and made me sleep in an office table. She never left me alone. She was a gutsy women taking me to a government office along with her. I am grateful for the love and support which the people in her office gave us.
I dont believe this story, you wouldn't know at 9 months that you were on your own, please use your brain when writing fictional rubbish. Stop making stories up! So weird.
@@emmawatson9233 aww.. I had my mom who told me that. Duh 😂😂
Now that is a badass woman
Hope, your father felt the consequences for his neglect dearly.
@@len8134 yes, I am 32 now mom of a beautiful babygirl who is already 2 now, my father was an abusive husband too, lost my mom to suicide 9yrs ago and I havent seen his face since then..
I can't help but cry at this. I was called a quiet child. Now that I have grown up I know fully well how dysfunctional our family was and how abusive households can destroy a child's brain.
I feel your pain 😔. Same for me too ☹
My family was also dysfunctional, but didn't suffer any problems and had a great childhood. I guess it depends on the person.
Hugs to your inner child 🥰
@Mr. DixOvaRice did you watch and understand the video or.....
Same, I know from personal experience that for some of the kids the reason why they didn't touch the blocks was because they used to get hit for touching things. But at that age you don't understand so your defense is to sit there quietly and not do anything so you don't get hit again.
I have an adopted child from Bulgaria. She lived in an orphanage until 23 months old. She acted like those kids. She didnt know how to play with toys and was disinterested in them. She been home for a little over a year and you would never know she had a problem other then some fine motor skill problems.
Having a family who cares makes a huge difference, and children are unbelievably resilient.
I remember watching in sheer horror a story on Romanian orphanages showing babies, toddlers, children, babies crambed into cots, hands tied, children left alone, many tied to chairs, never once given a cuddle, a stroke of their faces, allowed to play or have someon read them a book. Children with disabilities dumped like rubbish. I have never stopped thinking of those children and babies and have always wished I was wealthy enough to go buy all these horrific "baby/children prisons", sack all staff then employ baby contact cuddlers. Love them. Educate them. Give them a sense of 'belonging'.
God love you for what you did. Your beautiful daughter was given a life. Given loving parents. ❤
@@CateB-um7lu I have to agree with you. I actually live in România, and I myself have 3 children. Unfortunately I belive that even today children in romanian orphanages are not raised with affection and attention...It is truly a sad, sad story. On the other had the rules for adoption are pretty strict, and that makes the adoption process long and hard. I have to say that adopting I think is one of the most humane acts one can make, me and my husband discussed this issue some time ago, before having our own. I admire anyone that is willing to welcome such a child in their homes.
@@CateB-um7lu I cant speak for Romania, bit there are videos on Bulgarian orphanages from the 1990s that are pretty bad. I know Bulgaria has worked hard to move these children into "foster homes" but orphanages are still over crowded and underfunded. But yeah, my daughter was pretty much in a crib all day until she came home with us and very very skinny.
Human contact, touching and Love are the most essential things a child needs.
The wound may have healed but the scar will always remain.
The moment I heard the words “anorexic” my heart shattered. The tired look in their eyes was so sad. I hope they found loving families and homes.
I stayed at my Grandma's for a few weeks sometime ago. Back then my baby cousin brother was around 8-9 months old and for some reason he loved looking at the moon in the evenings when we took him out on the stroller. So once out of the blue I took him on my arms and sang "City of Stars" while rocking him back and forth and pointed at the moon. The whole evening he would give me the most beautiful smile whenever he saw me (I'm not good at singing though). On another day he was being annoying to his mother so I took him backyard, on my lap (facing his eyes to the afternoon sky) and kept rocking him and eventually talked him to sleep.
Now, he's 1 year 8 months old, I barely visit but whenever I do he still gives me the smile (he hates strangers or people he perceives as being strangers) ! If we have a family gathering, he only sleeps on my arms and squeals out laughing when i snap my fingers (that's something I did when he was just 8 months old). Babies do remember and feel a lot more than what it seems.
This is so beautiful
This is so sweet 💜
Remember that it is appropriate for young children to be suspicious of people other than family and caregivers. A lack of this reluctance is not healthy.
@@RONDAWILLIAMSON Yeah. Also he was born on December 2019, so he technically grew up in lockdown. It's kind of uncomfortable for him to be in a gathering of people.
This is so wholesome. People need to be nicer to babies.
So many people are so quick to say "he's being defiant" or "she knows what she's doing." Give them a break, they're just babies.
I was malnourished as a baby and abused by my biological mother. I have a lot of anxiety to this day. I am currently 8 months pregnant with my daughter and I’m so excited to give her the life I never had as a child. ❤️
Hopefully, we learn from our mom's/parents mistakes, I did, my mom made alot, but I was sure I did not make the same ones with my daughter. There's no perfect parent, I'v probably made some. Enjoy your new little one, and be good and forgiving with yourself. My daughter is 14, and a wonderful human being, so far, I did pretty good by her.......
I wish you the very best and applaud you for trying to give your little one the life she deserves instead of those that take it out on there kid. Enjoy every moment they grow too fast ❤️
You go girl! 💖💖
Yay! Love for you and your daughter 🙏
I wish you all the best with your pregnancy and delivery. Parenthood is hard, but I'm confident you'll learn from your mom's mistakes and do better by your baby.
I don’t think some of y’all realize how much this actually affects your mind, and your thoughts. And your love interests. And your friends. And your intelligence. All the little things. I was a child who experienced this. I am not happy it shaped me. I wish every day I thought normal.
@@wolflehcar8047 I have no feud with religion since it gives people faith, but I don't believe in senseless religious views, what this person needs is a therapist who guides them in behavioral therapy, the religion comes after if they choose to
I‘m so sorry 💔 I hope you get to heal at least to some extend over time. Best to you and hang in there
It’s so fucked. I hope you’re able to get the mental health support and love that you need.❤️
I can relate fully ur not alone ❤️
Me too
I am stunned. At 71, I've just discovered this was me. The Super-8 movies still exist.
I just thought I was tired, didn't like the camera, or just a "good" baby. I have no words.
Thank you for posting this.
Wow, which baby were you?
@dakneeskat I think I was not clear in my comment. There are home movies taken when I was very young, and I am very similar to the film shown here. I was not one of these children in the study.
Prayers for you 🙏
@@melodiejohnston9528 That must be very world-changing for you. But you know what, that is more knowledge gained. You are strong for recognising that, and you will gain even more strength and knowledge from that.
I am glad you had a revelation which may have answered your questions
Proof that having a “calm child”not necessarily means a healthy one as child psychologists say, I worry when a child is too calm.
I like my kids. They listen to me. I feel like the older they get the more I think they are wonderful. I hope my kids turn out ok. I pray about that often.
I was insanely calm and level headed for my age, and not a single adult stopped to consider that may not 100% be a good thing because they were too busy praising me for good behavior
Children are supposed to misbehave, that's the point of childhoold- to make mistakes and learn from them. If a child is scared of making mistakes- not even repeating wrong behavior but accidentally doing or saying the wrong thing, then thats a real problem. You're not teaching them anything, ur just forcing them into submission
Not a good correlation at all
i got too calm my father and mother said, i was so much "into my own world"
My parents always say, “ as long as a baby is active and playing it’s a good sign they’re okay, once they show no interest that’s when you start to worry”
And this is so true. 🤷🏻♀️
My mom says the very same thing. Too bad it took her 30+ years to realize I wasn't a happy child.
@@Hypocricy_rules_supreme cats aren't children...
@@SVanTha Lol, underrated comment :)
@@SVanTha your point?
The institutionalized children are reaching for love, not blocks. My heart aches for them
I am completely heart broken for them! How awful, I wish I could love on each and every baby on this planet that is being neglected! They deserve the world, they deserve nothing but happiness 💔
Incredibly sad to watch
@@adrianaaguirre5605 same!!! =(
No they aren't lol. Children at that age still have developing brains so they can't process love yet. The video was doctored. Children will always go for the blocks, that's instinct for building and development in tactile senses. You don't need love to function, it's just a chemical reaction that stimulates dopamine. Too much of it causes instant gratification. You don't know what you're saying lmao.
@@therealbonjonny3058 love, care and support are important at any age however when it comes to 'toxic' forms of love, then I agree because that type of love hinders growth and people do fine without that.
Ofc love is not only key, so is care and attentiveness. The children who were institutionalized cannot comprehend love let alone care and support because they were never shown that nor experienced that at that age. Therefore, their brain is slowly grappling with that idea that they're not worthy enough and well that can manifest in many different ways when they get old, usually not in a good way.
People would make fun of me for reading to my son when he was a newborn. But my son doesn't seem to hate me the way their kids of the same age do.
My ex made fun of me when I was talking to my newborn daughter. Fair to say, she only calls him by "biological father."
@lindahuynh9438 what a piece of work. Of course you should talk to your babies! How else will they learn language? I don't get people at all. They don't even stop to think.
@@lindahuynh9438 you're a wonderful mother. that's the perfect age to start reading to your kids. my parents did the same and it made me fall in love with reading, i was reading at an above average level by the time i got to elementary.
@@lindahuynh9438I never understood this logic. Do people expect babies to magically learn the language?
@pluto-kl5od same with my dad. When my mom was pregnant with me, if my dad came home and didn't read the newspaper to her belly right away, I'd start kicking up a storm.
3:48 "She accepts without resistance when the block is placed in her hand, but shows no real interest." She accepts any thing as long as she is receiving attention, poor thing. This broke my heart. Then all of a sudden a thought crossed my mind " What if she somehow manages to have a relationship with someone but it is abusive? What if it is toxic? She will just accept it all as long as she gets the attention she was deprived of. This is really sad.
That really makes me think about my first relationship and why I stayed in it for two and half years... thank u I didn't think about that
absolutely
@@TheDementedBabe It's a good thing that you realized it, dear. Stay strong.
Yeah well mostly that's what happens, I talk from experience
@@anemptyspace Very sad to hear the truth of the world. There's no limits to bitterness and cruelty, is there?
It makes me so angry and upset when people say ‘at least they won’t remember’. I don’t consciously remember a lot from my childhood but my subconscious did. And it manifests on your mental health and your nervous system. After experiencing an abusive and neglectful childhood, I suffered from chronic pain, depression, anxiety, depersonalisation, and complex PTSD before the memories from my subconscious mind came back to my conscious mind. I slowly started remembering things that had been pushed deep down. As a child, you push them down and try to forget as a coping mechanism because abuse is hard enough as it easy, so it makes it easier to try and forget straight away. But it will always manifest in other ways and it will often come back to you. I’m now in therapy for things I suffered as a child. Things I forgot for years. But my subconscious mind and my body never did. Please treat your children right, from the beginning. Parenting isn’t just about giving them food and shelter, it’s about keeping them safe and loved.
I actually remember things from when I was 8-9 months old, I clearly remember images and feelings, I'm 30 now, and there's so so much in the unconscious that we manifest in the everyday behaving and programming
Exacto
May you find comfort and healing in Jesus ❤ my father has diabetes and his mood swings because of low blood sugars scared me a lot as a young child, but in Jesus I have learned to forgive a lot and felt comfort and healing
I was born in 1965 and I remember my own baby cot.
Parenting isn't also descrimination like say ...' It's Just another girl born, Vati (dad).
Also isn't just about be born and graduate in Europe and
had kid's before. Wisdon parentings knows that the little newborn baby is a gift of the universo in Trust...
I am a brazilian mother make to bilieve I was the ignorant for 30 years ,- the age the babe give up Life in other country and her business man father doesn't care for her body back
They want a person. Not a thing. So sad
I agree
Yes. This is me. Gone my whole life yearning for a safe mother figure, a safe attachment. Im 42 now. A wasted human life.
Deborah Gyllien, it's never a wasted life, I hope you find your peace, because its out there waiting for you, you just have to accept it x
@@deborahbaker1254 dear debora, i want to hug you. You are save and you are loved. Always.
@@deborahbaker1254 Do you know Mother Mary, the mother of Jesus?
She is the best mother ever, stable and loving and caring.
Perhaps you find it strange, but you can ask her for being your mother. I did and do not regret.
When I was a kid everyone always called me "mature for my age, old soul, quiet" etc. I didn't realize until I was in my 20s that a kid who gives you that impression is a big red flag.
Same here. I was told I was 12 going in 30. My mom seemed proud if it
i was called all those things too. i went from a vibrant and loud child to almost silent. no one cares if something might be wrong as long as youre easy to deal with.
Same here. Quiet, super polite... You behave like a shell of a person and they praise you for it. Better than those other kids having fun and being disobedient. But in reality those kids were much better off in life in the long term. Typical teenagers can learn to be quiet and polite in their 20's. It's much harder to learn how to have fun and be yourself in your 20's...
No it isn't. ACTUALLY being mature and being TRAUMATIZED are VERY DIFFERENT THINGS
Please learn that!
@@berrymint6384 nah see the above comment...big difference between being mature for your age and being such a shell of a child that people feel the need to compliment you as being an old soul.
Watching the adults: they can be dangerous.
Don't touch the blocks: you can be punished for that.
You never know.
That's what I was thinking. That one girl reaches out a finger like she wants to touch it and then looks around hesitantly and pulls her hand back. I think she has been yelled at (or worse) for touching things before.
@@lestranged Yes.
This is exactly what I thought when I saw these poor babies....
I thought about it too
Anka you made me look this in completely different way. In a negative way, Thanks!
The children never asked to be born, its the parents who decided to give birth. If you're a parent, fulfil your duties and responsibilities of a parent. Love is a necessity, not a luxury. This is so heartbreaking.
You're right about that nowdays I see people having children but they're not ready to be parents and it makes sad seeing that. That the child doesn't get any love by the parents.
@@ripvanwinkle1537 nobody is really ready to be a parent. It's a responsibility and those who forsake this are scum of the earth
Well in that case please put me out of my missery
@@csongorarpad4670 true
People forget that its a 'Responsibility' and some people are not Responsible at all. Sad
Caroline, Veronique, jean, René, Anette, and Colette hope they’re having the best life now. No child deserves to be traumatized by traumatizing parents.
Traumatized parents maybe
Me too
They’re probably in their 50s or 60s now, if they’re still alive
Sadly, it's very unlikely. The consequences of neglect and abuse so early in life, even with best therapy, stays in people's hearts forever.
@@OstblockLatina that’s very tragic but I still hope they found some way to enjoy life..
I just wanna give those poor babies a hug. :(
Me too !
Nothing sadder than a depressed baby
My niece used to go see a therapist. She would take her baby with her
The Dr. Noticed how different he looked compared to most kids she would see. My niece's son looked so happy and totally confident and playing. And how he had complete confidence in his mother. Not what she would see with other children.
Very sad. Little babies need to be loved and cuddled not mistreated
So true. I try to remember to pray for abused or neglected kids.
Seriously :(
I started cutting myself when I was 10
These kids will grow up and be called “mature for their age”. That’s not the compliment adults think it means
Edit: since there’s a ton of confusion in these comments. I never implied that I was calling them mature or that they’d grow up mature, but that people will ignorantly claim them to be, when that’s not the case. (Hah sry for miscommunication)
I’ve been called "mature for your age" all my life. no. a 7y/o can’t be mature. they’re just traumatized.
@@pequitaslu when ever I tell ppl my mom is strict, what I secretly mean is she's abusive :/
@@Destiny-kx4hw same dude it sucks
@@Destiny-kx4hw im so sorry:/
@@Destiny-kx4hw OMG i have never thought about that my bestie says that to me alot that her parents are strict and so does my cousin
My mother and older sister said they would leave me sitting alone on the sofa and come back an hour later and I would still just be sitting there quietly. As an adult I deal with anxiety and depression. This video has been eye opening. I was an unplanned pregnancy born to a mother with her own mental health challenges.
I hope things get better for you 💕
I wish the best for you sister
I was unplanned and unwanted by my mother. She's always told me I was a quiet baby, sometimes she would make funny faces to make me laugh or get a reaction from me but I would just stare blankly at her. Most of the time I was just sitting there with no reaction, no expresion on my face. I too deal with depression and anxiety nowadays, I was also diagnosed with Aspergers. My relationship with my mother is a lot better now but I feel like I'll never be "normal" or have normal relationships with people because I was unloved and emotionally neglected as a child.
@@ladygiseler2187 God removed me from the depression and anxiety and I have found complete peace in Him and I stopped letting my family issues and upbringing determine where I am to go. You can do the same hun. Nothing is too difficult for God, He repairs in a way it's better than even those who were never broken. It's been a whole 360° change for me internally, and if you ALLOW, it can be for you too. ❤️❤️❤️
Wait my mom said I acted the same as you..
This makes me want to go to places like that and spend each day hugging the babies and toddlers and telling them they are loved.
God bless you ! They are so adorable !
I wish i could adopt all of them
My first thought was "someone better hug those babies 😤"
This is incredibly heart breaking, the sad thing is that when people see kids like this in real life they think they're just well behaved but seeing the comparison in the behaviors is eye opening. This is why my main goal in life has and always will be to adopt and foster kids, I wish that every child could get the love that they deserved from birth
It's so wonderful knowing people like you exist 😊
I so agree! It’s sad that these behaviors that stemmed from emotional neglect get mistaken for being quiet and well behaved. Would love to foster one day too!
Are half of the children orphans I didn’t really watch it
I agree! That is my goal too.
Yes If they sit like this and don’t try to interact it is actually a bad sign and people think “what a good kid” , but they aren’t exploring or engaging they are dead in the eyes .. very sad
This is why parenthood should be seen as a privilege and not a blessing or such. Some people do not deserve to be parents and all of the others should be hiven the chance to really think about it and be sure they're ready
Not a privilege. A RESPONSIBILITY
@R•se There is always adoption
Testing needs to be an requirement in order for people to have children
@@dramacoma6786 it's easy said than done
1. There is still stigma in society about adopting especially with family, relatives and friends.
2. The adoption process is not so easy sometimes people get picky which leads to child trafficking and that's whole pandora in itself
@mcrts very true, being a hands on mother it's another responsibility where you have to be very attentive and present at all times. it's not straight forward nor has a hand book so it's always most of the time trying to find your feet and learning on the job. If you want social life all the time please spare and don't have a child.
This is both fascinating and heart breaking at the same time. It's crazy to think these babies are now like 60 year old adults. I truly hope they found some peace in life
My mom is 60 years old too.
@@SantiagoEspaillat ok
Same here. I had a rough upbringing where I was always physically abused by my parents. The pain still hurts thinking about it.
Unfortunately, this period in a child’s life is one of the most important for physical and emotional development. So parental neglect is built into their unconscious perception of the world; that the world is unsafe. With therapy ppl can heal from this, but scars never truly go away
As a a 50+ person who can associate myself with all those abused children in this video, I can assure you that no matter how hard you try to build a normal life and maintain positivity, the shadows of your neglected, abused and miserable childhood will always find the way to obscure all the happy colours in life you were hoping of seen. You learnt to be numb facing abuse and you remain numb for the rest of your life. The only peace in life you can hope for is to finally discover that it was nothing wrong with you, it was not your fault. You were just unlucky to be born to a couple of adults who did not deserve to be parents.
To everyone who was not cared for the way they deserved:
I send a big big bear hug not to your current self who knows about the world’s evil and cynicism, but to your inner child, to that 5 yo kid who needed love just for being alive. May you never forget that child in your pursuit of happiness, success or whatever your current motivator is. Even if you can’t connect with any other person, that kid will forever be inside of you, reaching out to you. So many people may have failed to care for you, but as I have discovered with myself, only you know what you needed and wanted, so don’t be afraid to look deeper and talk to that past self version of you. I send you love, not wanting anything, but for you to know that you deserve kindness, respect and love just for being ❤
Ninguém tem os pais que merecem, temos os que precisamos.
It’s sad to see that these small children are more concerned about the humans around them rather than enjoying themselves :(
Sucks to be them. 🙄
@Noel Lecombe ik, it breaks my heart to see those poor children treated like experiments rather than the very young human beings 🥺 I personally wont have any children until I am responsible enough to take care of them. There have been more children put into foster care than children with stable families.
I agree. This was heartbreaking to watch.
Because love and connection literally keep babies alive.
I’m 32 and that condition worsened. I sit in my room and feel like people are watching me.
I always hate how, at school, the really noisy kids that cause problems get all the attention. The quit kids are just ‘well behaved’ and nobody asks questions. But those kids can have bad home lives too.
Yeah, I'm one of them :( I've been a quiet kid my while life
@@Lunaliladee don’t be afraid to ask for help. I never did and regret it sometimes.
thanks, ill try :)
A lot of the noisy kids at school ARE looking for attention because they aren’t getting enough at home. You have similar problems but different ways to cope.
Yep 😐
i’ve heard that trauma comes from bad things that happen, but also good things that don’t happen.
it sucks trying to confront your parents about being neglectful, they say things like “i didn’t do anything to you!” yes but you also didn’t do anything for me.
"I dont remember doing that,never happened" "you will be dead if it really happened"
Choking a mf 6 year old multiple times,trying to cut my toungue with a siccor while pressing my troath at fuck1ng 5 years old,smashing my head against the table at 7,yeah,never happened
This is a profound statement.
Childhood emotional neglect -CEN- it’s not what happened to you , it’s what DIDN’T happen to you . Good book to read on this is - running on empty
👏👏👏
A parent's response is always, "I did the best I could." What a simple hollow response and so easy to say. What they should say is "I didn't give a shit, other things were more important to me."
Children need to feel safe before they can show explorative behavior. It breaks my heart to know not every baby gets unconditional love or AT THE VERY LEAST warm hearted care
In survival mode when they're so young - it's heartbreaking.
I agree. It's so sad. I'm so sorry that this happens.
I’ve always been in survival mode tbh
I never should’ve been
Minecraft@!!!!
Yes heartbreaking- wish I could help children like these
@@somefuckingretard8289 HAHA FUNNY GAMING REFERENCE HERE’S YOUR 5 STAR
And yet schools treat children like they came from the same homes/environment
YES. Smfh
It’s one of the reasons it’s hard for children to even realize. I didn’t even notice I was being abused and neglected until recently (i’m18) because school just assumed it’s normal or okay, and I wasn’t being severely hit or physically harmed. I thought everyone had parents like mine
@@hydrogen3266 sorry for what happened to you, hope you stay strong
I feel like our whole society does that. One size fits all when in reality it barely fits anybody.
it makes no sense
My father was neglected as an infant. He has never been able to have a healthy close relationship. His temper and lack of emotional involvement with me and my siblings has affected all of us. Child neglect not only hurts the child, but also the generations that come afterward.
I just want to tell you that the fact that your father was neglected as a child and that he did not have a healthy relationship is not an excuse that he is hot-tempered and does not care about you. ❤️🙏
I'm sorry, I don't know English and that's why I write with translators.
@@япанкмнепохуй-э7н что тут забыл русский
I can relate to this
THIS IS SO TRUE OMG
Heartbreaking. And it makes me garner compassion for how messy my life is, since much of my childhood and adolescence is a blank. I found old school reports expressing concern at how withdrawn I was that "it's like talking to a wall", from when I was around 5 years old, and at age 7, poems I had written about graveyards and missing my family.
The solution to emotional neglect in childhood is to love your inner child. It worked for me. This is how I did it: I found a picture of myself when I was around 2-3 years old where I look really sweet and innocent. I pictured this image in my mind like a meditation practice and started to praise this child (i.e. myself) and showering it with lovely comments like 'I love you. You are the best that has ever happened to me' I'm here for you, I'm going to protect you etc. Basically I said the things my parents never did. And it worked after a period of time. I started feeling love for this child (i.e. myself).It felt really good to say those things to myself. Give it a try it might work for you too!
Thank you
That's exactly one of the things you do in therapy. Also, I pray the Virgin to be my mom and saint Joseph to assist me as a dad like they did with Jesus and I have noticed my thoughts, emotions changing every time I ask for help. Let's praise GOD!!!! Shalom guys...
It is called hypnotherapy if i'm not mistaken
Christ therapy, I have discovered it after different sessions of CBT. That's how I get familiar with the concept of our inner Trinity (The Parent, The Kid, Relationship between them). Every human being is a little version of God, the way you talk or treat yourself depends on the way you were treated since you were a kid. If the relationship between caregiver and the child is abusive or neglecting the kid is gonna have a wrong idea about himself (i am wrong, I am not loveable, I don't deserve attention, respect etc.) and never get to the realization He is a child of God. The therapy consists to talk to the Father and ask Him to reveal the love he has towards the Son (which is the Holy Spirit) so you can receive what your parents didn't know how to give you in the right way (for lack of knowledge or because they didn't care enough to be a good parent).
What a nice advice! Thanks
It's heartbreaking to see a child so young already disassociate from reality or have a complete distrust of their environment. This may carry with them for the rest of their life
it will carry and grow in weight for the rest of their lives....
Certainement
Looks like ADHD. I was like this in my baby videos. Either too inattentive to the people around me or switching focus to things in the distance. :) can you imagine some bogus doctor taking an add baby and calling the parent abusive? Already Happened. That's how this stuff works
@@postalservice_spa few of the kids look a bit autistic look at the wrist movements
@@postalservice_sp
i definitely see what you mean - could be ADHD symptoms but i am wondering if there is a correlation between trauma and ADHD ( for personal reasons )
however, i do understand ADHD could develop without trauma present in children
So very sad! I adopted my grandson at age 3 who was ignored by his mother, and just left in crib! Was a failure to thrive child! Alot of work had to be done. After 1 year, he was well adjusted, outgoing and happy! He will be 29 next month and has 2 children of his own! What a great, loving dad he is ❤😊
When I was growing up my family was a foster family. We took in a set of twins similar to your grandchild. They were called "crib babies." They were completely neglected. At one years old they couldn't even sit up because they were never picked up and played with thus didn't build any muscles. They were completely disengaged and just stared into space. Fortunately they were five of us children who are all girls and we all doted it on them and they lapped it up. Within 6 months of all this attention in love, they both caught up physically and were very happy, well adjusted toddlers. They were then adopted by loving family together.
Is mom your daughter?
Danke Danke Danke für Deine Liebe für die Kinder ❤❤❤
Well done for being brave
I can tell you that you're an angel to him and not just a grandmother, thank you for putting your heart and effort into that child!
To see that this was known over 20 years before I was born and my nmom studied psychology removes any last excuses I held for her around not knowing how to raise a healthy child. She took so much pride in having a “good” (quiet) baby. I would take pride in having a loud one, if I’d ever had one of my own. It’s so heartbreaking to see kids like me and know their struggle as they try to find health as adults. ❤
wild. my abusive mom also studied psychology and has a degree. once i was in my tween years, but still.
This makes me cry. How much mistreatment can a baby endure to not even behave like a baby and express severe depression? I can't imagine not caring for your children. For me its the other way around, I crave their affection lol. I wish I can just go back in time and squeeze these beautiful babies!
Same! I feel what the same! I want to love them so much. 💕
@@bellalunaoxox I rewatched it and cried again!! These babies have absolutely no trust in adults. Children are the most endangered and under represented humans on earth. And that's exactly why we have so many crazy people repeating these cycles. Most of the abused and neglected become exactly how their parents were when they grow up.
I feel the same way 😔
Um i dont know why it happens im one of these kids grown up and its like every year is more scary. Theyre just children i dont understand
Right ! It is enough to break anyone's heart.
As a father, I feel the urge to hold these babies and show them the love they deserve. Heartbreaking.
Maybe that's what you need to do for some other child out there where you live.
Same. I want to squeeze each one tight and never let go. Every baby deserves so much love.
I actually had tears come down..I just can't imagine how people can neglect their children.. I would never be able to do that to my son. My heart would break
I hugged the pooponium out of our four, now 29 through 34, and am doing equally well with three grandsons.
Seriously. I wish I could hold all of them.
I don’t even know much about the behavior of babies, but the way René, Annette, and Colette acted genuinely broke my heart. You can definitely tell something is off. I hope all of these children are all well today.
Sadly a lot of them died because of suicide or depression. Its so horrible what these people did to these humble children. No child deserves this
@@hanskodeda5239 oh no
@@hanskodeda5239 how do u know this?
@@hanskodeda5239 provide proof please
I've seen a baby like that in real life. It was at a crackhouse. The mum just kept getting pregnant constantly, dad in jail, she gave birth then the babies who were drug addicted just got no attention. Man it was so sad.
I dont remember where i read this but its a very sad and heartbreaking quote about the neglected babies.
"They stop crying when they realize no one is coming for them."
I remember watching a documentary one time of an orphanage for babies. The reporter walked into a room filled from wall to wall with cribs with dozens of babies in the room and the room was totally silent. The babies didn't make a single noise. When the reporter asked about it the caretaker said that when the babies first get there they cry constantly but after awhile of not having their cries answered they realize that no one is coming to get them to care for them and then give up and stop crying or making noises. She said like it was some kind of great achievement or something. It was awful! 💔
😭 I can’t deal with how sad that is
Aw this comment made me cry, those poor sweet little babies
I see..this is long so ,forgive me
my parents divorced when i was 2.. my older sister said they only wait till i reach 2yo, big enough to stop breastfeeding.. she left us , because one event lead to another, my eldest sister died when she was 8, then my sister always got sick often cause she has severe asthma,she was born with one kidney,so she has frail body/health, and then my late dad got into accident that left him paralyzed and disabled..my sister was the one who took care of him, she was 6.. i was sent to my aunt for 2years, came back to my dad and sister..
i couldn't form a bond, i only formed an obsession attachment towards my sister, i became paranoid ,afraid ,thinking she'd just disappear,like my mom i guess? so i stalked her until we were in highschool, where she also left, ran away to my mom..
my mom married another man not long after the divorce, i have one spoiled step sister, my sister also told me ,we actually had another step sister that died because of malnutrition,my mom apparently neglected her..
so, i met my mom when i was 17, I'm pretty detached with everyone in my life after my sister..so I'm very distant obviously, i couldn't call her mom , can't hug her ,i was just existing ,only speak when she asks something ,only when needed..she said ,she was hurt, she thinks i hated her, well I don't ,i have zero feelings cause she's just a stranger to me.. then she said something that sets me off,
'I remember how you used to cry whenever you couldn't find me, you'd want me to lift you up, always call me mom'
I was furious,or maybe sad i don't know but it's confusing.. i got up and go out to take a walk.. i found out from my sister that after the divorce, i wouldn't stop crying day and night looking for mom, every day, there's nothing they could do to console me so they just let me be ,until one day i just stopped crying completely.. i also stopped eating and started nibbles on rocks/stones..i started hoarding stuff since i was 5 up till recently, i still do hoard things when I'm stressed but it's not as bad as it was..
So now after i learn and read a lot about psychology ,it finally make sense..i get why my sister was reluctant to tell me anything i was curious about.. there's still a lot of things she seems to holding back from telling me, she just assured me to forget everything,let it go, think positive and live happily..
only in adulthood i learn to cry again, i learn to love again.. and all that thanks to my best friend ,with the help of therapist and counselor..
Sadly people do that with their own children still today, they call it the cry it out method. And are quite proud that there babies can sleep well and be put down and not need them. Some parents in a parenting group I was in would be told by others to put headphones on and go to a different part of the house because as a mother it is so unbearable to hear your child cry that it is painful to not care for those needs. But it is still pushed as good for the baby.
@@LeNoir2411 that's heartbreaking 💔 I'm so sorry you had to go through all that! I'm glad you're finally finding healing and being able to have healthy, needed emotions again! ❤
Who else was described by their parents like a quiet baby who barely cried or gave any trouble and as an adult developed a long list of mental and physical illnesses?
Edit: got 24k likes and 500 replies and youtube didn't notice me about it. Going to read all your replies now. Thank you all.
Me
Me.
🤝
@@eleanademera6371 Could be more subthreshold autism than neglect though.
Me and knowing my Mother shows strong signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, I don't believe her or my father's bullshit that I was like that for no reason.
I hope, as the years have passed, life has become kinder to Caroline, Veronique, Jean, René, Annette, and Colette. I truly hope each of these children have found some measure of peace and the wounds of their early childhood have healed.
They must be in their late 50s early 60s. Would be wonderful to hear them now in 2022💜
Man these replies are baaaad
They are now boomers and probably criticises newer generations for not having house
@@SonerMusic752 That joke wasn't even funny, it's been overdone.
@@user-p7up8l4k bruh...
Желаю, чтобы все дети росли в любви, заботе, внимании, принятии и понимании ..
When the brain is stuck in "survival mode" (aka the brain stem), other parts of the brain don't even get the chance to develop. When a baby/toddler feels safe, the brain stem can rest and other parts of the brain are activated, allowing the child to develop balance, coordination, visual processing, language use, concrete thinking, memories, emotional regulation, critical thinking, etc. In extreme cases, an abused or neglected baby, who is otherwise perfectly healthy, may never learn to walk or speak.
Plus, constant fear gives you a high level of cortisole. The so called "stress hormone" - too much of it has serious negative impacts on your health, called stress toxcitity.
1) what you eat and what you crave
It increases appitite, especially for sweet and high caloric food, aka junk food, while also impacting how sugars are regulated in your body. Aka weight gain, especially in the belly and face.
2) it increases inflammation in the body:
Thinning of the skin which leads to bruising while slowing the rate it takes to heal
Acne
3) mental impact
Insomnia, fatigue, memory loss, irritability, headaches etc.
If you're constantly high on stress, your body behaves just like you're being hunted. It doesn't matter if there is a tiger after you, or not, the reaction is the same.
This is why we need more rest.
@@improvement565 so my mood swings, constantly tired and really bad memory is severe stress? I know not to seek medical advice online I'll go to a doctor but those signs are something I should tell my doctor about if I think it's stress? I feel like I'm going mad and everyone is agaisnt me all the time
@@cake94309 i feel the exact same way ! except i couldn’t find a way to put it into words.
does it require medical attention? and i hope things get better for you, you’re not alone in this
I found that I have few little normal memories as a baby/young child. Most of what I remember are traumatic episodes - the rest became a complete blank, until I started first-grade at age 5.
Did you do any research? No? Stop spreading those bullshit. I've been socially neglected (my mom never talked to me and played with me only two times in my life) and fuffered from malnutrition but I was pretty smart and started talking very early, I was one of the smartest kids in school.
Only phisical neglect such as starvation or abuse could lead to mental inability.
Childhood trauma never leaves you. It’s heartwarming that people show compassion for these poor babies but devastating that they don’t offer to them when they’re adults dealing with mental health issues. People just expect adults to fully function…
they don’t offer to them when they’re adults dealing with mental health issues.
Yes
These poor babies weren't shown compassion, that's why they are the way they are....
@@alicedoors4826 They meant compassion in the comments section, or in general, from other people (such as us) who get to witness the conditions of these babies. OP is pointing out that if we can feel sorry for babies that are victims of abuse, we should also be able to understand when an adult has trouble and/or trauma with certain things.
@@alexis.george I know what they meant but the point is in reality even babies don't get compassion just like adults in the real world. Adults get the same compassion and understanding as these babies in the comment section too.
its frightening how mentally and emotionally fragile human beings are.
Yeah so it makes sense that people are sensitive and that’s a normal thing not a bad thing.
Fragile yet resilient
@N😍🥰🤷 god is overrated
I've been saying that for years about people that think micro aggressions are real and words equate to violence.
@N😍🥰🤷 true
I was one of those children. Trust me when I say that being alone your entire life is not something I want to wish on my worst enemy… 😢
"He withdraws into himself and takes refuge in the self-soothing activity of thumb sucking"
Never did I think I'd read something like that with almost tears in my eyes. I hope the kids are doing okay now.
I used to be a index finger sucking child...it developed into a sucha bad habit that i wasnt able to sleep without that at all till i was of 11-12. And what people did was mock me by asking questions do u still do that?!?! No wonder i am having the worst time of my life with all that anxiety and panic attacks in my adulthood.
That part really broke my heart! I wish all these precious children good lives..
rhythm 22 I’m 22 and I still sick my thumb
Sucked my thumb until my first child was born at 27, dropped it cold turkey without even thinking about it after that. Now at 55 I hug a stuffed bunny pretty much every night (when I'm not hugging the husband😊) for the past 4 years, it helps with major anxiety.
@@rhythm2238 wtf SAME i sucked my thumb until i was around the same age too because it felt comforting.
Growing up everyone would tell my parents how great my brothers and I were for being well behaved and “quiet”. We were getting abused at home.
Are you serious I'm so sorry to hear that 😔
I am gonna live in the ppls closet who abounded your and beat them to death with my Gucci belt
SHAME ON THEM
Same. It wasn’t until later in life I found out I lived in a few cult-like settings as well. Fun times.
I really hope you and your siblings are in a better place now surrounded by better people!! I'm so sorry you guys went through all that. Please remember that there are people who cherish you and deeply care for you!! And if no one does, someone will come into your life who will provide you the love you deserve🥺 you've been so strong, it's alright to cry it out okay? Let it all out when you need to. It must've been so hard. Reminder to drink tons of water, get enougj sunlight and that you're human!!👉👈✨✨
Same
I can definitely say from personal experience, this is 100% accurate! Being neglected as a baby is a lifelong damage, a mistake your parents made that left for you to fix ever since you were born. My mother was busy watching my older brother during my period of growing and claimed I was a smart and quiet baby that didn't give no trouble, so she would just leave me to play with toys. I am now clinically depressed, borderline disordered, with high anxiety, panic attacks, speech and abandonment issues. I'm deeply insecure and I'm not capable of taking adequate major nor minor decisions. I have searched my whole life for love I never received and live in fear everyday. Please take care of your children! They need human interaction and affection! Just because they're small, doesn't mean they don't feel anything and don't understand! Every day you spend time neglecting them, you are sentencing them to future problems as adults.
I grew up pretty much like you did, have many of the same issues, even now, 56 years down the line. BUT getting a lot better.
Would you be willing to experiment with something nonharmful.. that MAYBE could help with at least depression and anxiety? I repeat, what I could suggest, is not a drug, not a funny fad, or anything weird really.. but I need to know if you are willing to try, with absolutely no risk of harmful effects of course, you have had enough of those :) It is working for me, but I am no medical person, so this is not medical advice.. just a tip from a fellow sufferer that anyone can try.
@that blonde babe Because if I did, I would get another comment telling me I cant just tell people to do that? Lol, I prefer your question:)
I also know that sometimes, when struggling with all these issues, it takes time to consider something and make a choice. Just to get something pushed into your face makes it a bigger task, hence.. I have made an offer, but I am willing to wait until the person I asked, is ready to reply in some way or another.
The answer I get could be "no", which would be fine too.. I wont push.
@that blonde babe Hmm, good point, that could be it too.. it is just so.. very easy, but many are very opposed to it, and claim the opposite is the right thing.
Well, I think I read a question in your comment :) And I will tell you what helped me ( after decades trying everything else), its as simple as meat. Just eat meat.. and eat just meat. It stabilized my mood a lot, it got rid of digestion issues, it is healing other physical issues, I can feel it improving.
Removing plants completely from my diet helped me a lot.. A huge lot. Including alleviating cravings for sweets and junkfoods.. it is still there, but barely noticable.
I need no supplements , but if you were malnoursihed when starting, you might need some initially...but you need those anyway.
And it is easy.. get meat, cook it ( or not) eat. No stressful soppinglist or weird ingredients.
Interestingly, my parents also described me as a quite child who almost never cried or gave trouble, except that i developed severe asthma and allergies before the age of 2 (Interesting).
Now, at an adult age i suffer for almost all afflictions you mentioned and an autoimune disease.
I understand your pain . I was neglected by my mother , ten years foster care , I suffer panic attacks binge eating and paralysis from
Fear in normal situation . My mum was borderline with intense rage . She never bonded to me and my twin sister . I am 40 . I love my own daughter and managed a fairly successful life now. It hasn’t been easy though . I always struggle with anxiety. My dad was schizophrenic too . To be honest my parents shouldn’t of had children .. it was a lot of suffering as a child . Absolute fear and panic of my mothers mood disorder . I haven’t Brene to have successful personal relationships because of my anxiety and abandonment issues . I am 40 now
My childhood trauma caused me to feel utter hatred towards any kind of authority, even if it was just an adult that was actually being nice to me. Later as a teenager my depression reached its peak and I started realizing how unfair i was to those people. I remember one time after the pandemic, i was severely depressed when i met one of those friendly adults again (after not having seen her for years) and she was jokingly asking why i was being nice to her. Later that day she asked me what's wrong and if there was a way she could help me. I cry every time I think back to that day, but ultimately I'm just so grateful for being able to get out of my depression
I want to hug these little French babies so tight, and tell them that they're adorable and lovable and worthy, and that they deserve wonderful parents who care about them and pay attention to them. The haunted expressions in their little faces are KILLING me. I want to make it all better.
You have a very kind heart 💙
This comment is so warm
They aren’t babies anymore so that’s awkward- their probably 55 or 60 by now
@@honks9484 Nuh-uh! Once you're part of a youtube video, time stops, and you're preserved in that moment FOREVER!! I know it's true - I read it on the internet. :)
@@honks9484 there is nothing awkward in expressing compassion to any human regardless of age. There's no bigger tragedy in world than a person who holds back from doing something kind just by thinking it is going to be awkward. Those who rise above awkwardness becomes a true human imo.
These type of programmes honestly help me be a better mother. I cannot even fathom how a parent could hurt, abuse or neglect a helpless infant.
Having my daughter (nearly 2) has opened my eyes to how desperately babies need love and how badly they need us
I know, I have 2 boys that I am completely obsessed with. I just want to cuddle all of these children yet they would be older than me at this point.
I heavily agree. My youngest turns five next week, and I'm done having babies, but I often remember how hard those first few years were. I never let my babies cry alone, I swooped them up, comforted them, gave them activities both to do with me and while I worked in the same room. I was SO exhausted, but they've both grown to be very smart, creative, adventurous, and a balance of brave and independent, while also never hesitating to come to their daddy and I for help. This video is both reassuring and heartbreaking. 🥺
@@doekawaii6343 i love your comment. My baby girl is nearly 2 and I doubt myself so much. The only thing I am sure of is that i agree with attached parenting, like you described.
When I hear someone say a baby manipulates i actually feel like screaming. A babies cry is only wanting comfort in the form of food, love ect. Babies are so pure. I never knew how much untill i had my girl.
This video honestly disturbs me cause i cannot imagine how uncertain and unnerving to be an abused baby is 😭
Indeed! Your mind is same as mine.
I’m proud of all of y’all in these comments for being loving and caring parents.
The eyes the eyebrows the sunken face the heavy breathing, its heartbreaking that even a baby can feel that way
Right? What's even worse for me is that I recognize the look of the last baby. The wide eyes, The heavy, irregular breathing and the constant looking around...I do that. I was put through similar treatment from the time I was born 'til very recently. I recognize that feeling...I hope these kids found some peace later in life. I really do hope.
Como también debe ser desgarrador mirarlo en un Hombre o una Mujer.
@@DavidRangel08 i think you're missing the whole point. babies should represent innocence and happiness, being completely ignorant to all the cruelty/evil that exists in this world... an adult man/woman experiencing life and going through negative emotions is not the same as a baby doing so.
I love when they don"t want to pick it up and the camera stays on them, really puts life into perspective...
For anyone who has kids or planning to have kids, please, love them genuinely and unconditionally with all your heart. Take the time to listen to their emotions and feelings and why they do the things they do. It makes all the difference in the world when a child grows up and is nurtured with love and support.
So true
I think that's the most important thing parents can do .
@Pumpkin Kitten that’s neither here nor there you had a baby how can you not love and take care the baby when you gave that baby life my god those bonds of love are unbreakable
YES!❤
As in anything in Life - you must learn before taking on responsibility.
Some people don't even know how to love properly.
Example: I, myself, had to re-learn everything about how to love in a sane way - and it pretty much contradicts my parent's view of Love.
It's priority to heal, learn to love and learn to raise a child before bringing it to Earth.
I am a grown up woman who was neglected in my childhood. My mom was even proud to tell me that every time I cried as a baby nobody came to me on purpose, so I can learn to calm myself and to understand that her life doesn't revolve around me.. She was also very abusive during my childhood. I have to say I still feel like these little babies from video, I show a very low interest to life, like some part inside me is very empty and sad and a void for a hug and attention has never disappeared even with my 37. I don't speak with my "mom" for years, I truly don't care about her, if she is dead or alive. She stole a happy childhood from me and I am stealing a happy getting older from this person. Please hug your children often
Can I send you big internet hug?
💗👍
@@wilczajagoda734 of course 🤗. Thank you for that
@@weDie-tomorrow I know that feeling, when some random people treat you better than your mother. I was always wondering how does it feel to be loved. My "mother" told me that she would like to have a prettier girl than me and anytime when we visited some of her friends with children she was playing with them, gave other children attention and she was truly happy. It was heartbreaking. I broke up a contact with her also because everytime when I saw her face it reminded me of my loveless childhood. When she dies I will take care of funeral but I have no feelings to this person.
@weDie-tomorrow. My mom said after having me & bringing me home from the hospital while she was holding me, I looked up at her like I hated her. Her spankings were on the face, back & neck. She was a hateful woman. Nothing made her happy! I don't remember her ever telling me she was proud of me. She never held me or told me she loved me. When I was seven years old, I got the nerve up to ask her why she had me if she didn't love me. She told me to blame God! She said He is the reason I'm here. I went outside, looked up to the sky & screamed & cried & told God I hated Him. About an hour later, I fell to my knees, begging Him to forgive me. I rode the church bus to church. They would come to get me every Sunday morning. My mom never took me to church. Later in life, when I got cancer, she found out & called me begging me to forgive her. We live in separate states. I didn't want to be anywhere near her. After her asking me for forgiveness, I did forgive her. I had to think about it for a while first. One reason is because she validated what I had felt all those years. She admitted to the way she wronged me. I'm not trying to be selfish, but I mostly did it for myself. Who wants to go through life being bitter & angry all the time?! I didn't trust anybody because I felt she's my mother & couldn't love me, then nobody else could. It was affecting all my other relationships. My self-esteem was really low. I took my feelings out on the ones that truly loved me. After I forgave her, I have to say I felt so much better! It was like a heavy weight had been lifted from me. I made it through an awful rare blood & bone cancer. I wasn't supposed to make it! After that, she called me often & I found out about her life as a child. I started to see what she had been through. I'm not making excuses for her, but she lived an awful life & her childhood had been stolen from her. I'm not going to get into it, but it was truly sad. I don't think she knew how to be a mother from her background & I don't think she knew how to truly love someone. She was never taught. Everybody that was supposed to love & protect her let her down. My mother made a better mother to adult children. We talked a lot after that & she was the one that initiated the phone calls. She told me that I had done really well in my life & it was a damn shame she couldn't take the credit for it, lol. What she didn't know was that the more she told me I wouldn't amount to anything, it made me try even harder to prove her wrong. I worked & paid my own way through college. I found a great job. She called me often & she told me she loved me & was proud of me when it was time to hang up. I think I had been waiting on those words from her for a long time. It was like getting to know someone. I'm happy to say that no matter how bad my mother treated me, I had never said a bad word to her. My mother passed away in Sept 2021. I'm so glad I forgave her before she left the world because I have no regrets & I loved her as much as I could. It wasn't a perfect love but love nonetheless.
Caroline, Veronique, Jean, René, Annette, Colette... I hope you all grew up to be wonderful ladies and gentlemen and had so many children and grandchildren who love you dearly and take care of you!
Every child deserves to get the attention and love they need; their family's love, the unconditional genuine love...
They're likely elder people now
@@stormdev21 they're not even 60
@@stormdev21 LOL old people. All of them are 57 maximum.
@@xxChiQuiTitaxx73 57 is old
@@stormdev21 Lol, like you don't realise you will be that age at some point. Presumably.
Thank you for explaining the difference between anorexic as a medical term for a symptom of loss of appetite, and anorexia nervosa. I didn't know there was a difference until now. Thanks again.
My parents told me that when I was a baby, every time I cried, they would put me in a crib in a room by myself. They’d leave me there until I stop crying. This stems from my dad’s parents. I’m on medication for depression and anxiety. I have social anxiety since I feel judged by everyone for everything I do. I’m always afraid people are going to be mad at me for a reason I can’t understand. I understand the kids not playing with the toys. I personally would wonder what the ulterior motive is. It’s hard for me to believe that people are genuinely kind to me.
My family had the motto "children are seen and not heard..you speak when spoken too..etc) I cried it out too. I have severe anxiety and depression and abandonment issues. I can only imagine what these poor kids have gone through.
The ones who are looking around before they touch the blocks are trying to gauge if it's safe to touch it or if they're going to be smacked out of the chair when they touch it.
Please check the channel that is called "Crappy Childhood Fairy", it seems like you have CPTSD (childhood complex PTSD), she's a therapist and her videos can help you heal, good luck!
@@likavi1574 thank you
I feel sorry for you as I can relate to it from my experiences. I started finding reasons for my feelings after reading a book about complex ptsd (Pete Walker). Maybe this could help you, too?
@@abz9023 yes amazing book! Also "body keeps the score" helped me so much (also about cptsd).
Nothing has ever cemented my decision to be a foster parent like this video.
If you're in the states it's free through your states foster care system.
in the uk, you don't need to have a certain degree or anything. just make sure you were never locked up for any child related reasons cs that's all recorded
Yess! Me 2. have been thinking aboute it since a young age. Never knew why people had babies when so many babies needed a home
I would love to be a foster parent, I just need a house 🏡.😍
Yeah but the child can be ungrateful and start this "you're not my real mother don't tell me what to do" act.
I was a neglected child, it took me years to trust people and to know how to show affection in healthy ways. Even to this day as an adult I'm still struggling a lot.
Same
@@pritybird8502 It is actually a really good thing to be an introvert though. There are similarities between autism and introverted so I suggest you look these up on youtube. I looked up videos of introversion vs autism and I found out I am introverted but there are really good qualities about it. I am going to embrace my introversion but also work on showing affection more.
Ditto
Same here. And whenever I feel like the relationship is too good or too happy, I'll do something to ruined it. Cause Idk how to deal with a healthy relationship.
But I'm lucky that my boyfriend is patience with me. I'm learning to improve myself from time to time.
I'm sure, you can too. We all deserve to be happy. So don't give up and never loose hope.
Same. Love how people say that spanking and yelling is how to discipline a child. This is coming from the adults that were neglected as kids.
Oh man… UA-cams algorithm has been giving me a lot of self-help related videos, not unlike this one here. I’ve learned and felt a lot over the past few months, most of it having to do with childhood trauma and neglect. But the things we experience, often before we know it, have a profound impact on us and those around us.
The choices and decisions we make send ripples through space-time. We don’t know how fair the ripples go before they naturally dissipate, but while they’re here, we see them in many overlapping and compounding forms, like avoidant behavior, emotional irregularities, drug/alcohol abuse, nihilism and many others.
Btw, thank you for posting this video.
God bless these children. Wish I could hug them all. As a mum of 1 toddler I know how attachment and a secure home is crucial x
Your absolutely right. I don't have kids my brother has 2 under 2 I help with my nephew he's 17months, he's the funniest man I know who can't talk yet & he's up to 16 steps. He's my sunshine on wee shakey legs 🤗 I was nearly scared to watch this because his mum had been coming & going from his life through her choice 🤷🏼♀️ I've been trying to not over step my Aunt roll but if she's not going to step up I will. She had 2 other kids (not my brothers) taken off her 10yrs ago because of this my brother keeps giving her chances his heart is coming from him wanting his kids to have what we had as children. A stable loving environment she's been back for 3 weeks I didn't see shorty for I felt like I couldn't breathe but I took him out for a massive walk, in to my mum's for a bottle & a change & walked him back to his parents. I nearly sent that video to my brother, until I saw your comment I'll just say goodnight to you & saw him taking anything the wrong way. He's living with a domestic terrorist so obviously he's constantly nippy af hence why I didn't see them for 3wks. Smfh🤬👻💙💜🏴
These videos provide opportunities to learn about human psyche. The more we understand, the better we can prevent or handle tragic situations like this. It's up to us as a society to act on it since there is no supernatural being (god) who intervenes.
@@VioletJoy 👏👏👏 how did I know I would find a self absorbed atheist who feels the need to make some degrading dismissive and unhelpful comment? People like you are the exact reason that I rather hang out with a religious person any day of the week, even though I'm an atheist. Since you seem to be a person of science and reason, you may want to look into the social science research comparing those who are religious versus those who are not. Increased life satisfaction, happiness within marriage, reduced divorce, which in turn results in reduced CHILD ABUSE. The religious donate more money to charity, and its not even close. I bet you're the type that considers your taxes charity. LMAO. The religious volunteer more hours and take in more foster children, which REDUCES THE NUMBER OF INSTITUTIONALIZED CHILDREN. The list goes on and on. For someone who seems so quick to degrade another's persons belief system, you sure seem to lack the most basic of insights. Self reflection. You don't need a God to do it. Try it some time, it may result in you being something other than a miserable person who feels the need to belittle others in a desperate attempt to make you feel better about yourself.
Signed,
An atheist who'd hang out with a Christian over a smug self-absorbed athiest ANYTIME.
You do know these "kids" are well into their 50s at this point? 😉
@@protectyourself33 I'm a Christian and I have this EXACT same response to people posting Bible passages and yelling at people that they need God in their life. I would rather hang out with an atheist with a positive attitude toward fellow humans than a fanatical "Christian" that spews hateful messages in the name of "God". You're a good person 🤜🤛.
I’d just like to make it very clear that there are some children who are very well taken care of and loved and they may show these traits and later on be diagnosed with autism. Autism is NOT the result of neglect, but signs of neglect can mimic signs of ASD.
I was waiting for an autism comment! No one is saying it.. So thank you! I have autistic kiddos.. This video is so old that autism was a given trait and not genetic. My kids are very well loved and cared for.. Especially mentally. I always talk with them.. Ever since they were born. Autism is not a form of neglect.
Thank god someone said something about this!!!
Thank you for saying this, I was about to point out the same thing. My son has autism because I also have autism. Nothing at all to do with neglect
Yep, that would be schizoid personality disorddr
They mean the meaning of the word autism, drawing into oneself and a detachment from the outside world.
wow this is so sad. Even if you're clothed, bathed and fed, you can still greatly suffer just from emotional neglect.
Just Like me and many many people. And NO ONE must know about it. I am the black sheep because I question the fake harmony.
@@susannabonke8552 same
Thats also true for adults. Many commit suicide.
Exactly.... and this is probably the reason why I am a big academic failure... now relying completely on God to wear off the emotional damage caused
It just goes to show how as a species humans absolutely NEED to have social interactions and social groups and relationships to survive
I just fell on this video and now I'm crying. That's heartbreaking. Every children should have the opportunity of having a caring family!
I was emotionally neglected ( and physically abused) by both parents growing up. I would ask them questions and they'd continue to do whatever they were doing and completely ignore me. I'd repeat myself and nothing. I'd eventually feel so awkward that I'd run away to my room embarrassed that I was ignored. As a baby my mom said I'd cry a lot in my room alone and that I was fine. As an adult, I rarely speak to people outside of my family. I stutter and want to give up halfway through a sentence because I think "what I have to say does not matter. so why finish it ?" Why would my thoughts have any importance ? So, I get shocked when my voice is heard, when I am acknowledged. I am now struggling to accept the fact that what I do and say matters.
I am so so sorry you're voice definitely matters and you definitely deserve to feel and be heard. I hope you're healing from that and unblock your throat chakra❤️❤️ if you ever need to be listened to lmk
"I stutter and want to give up halfway through a sentence because I think "what have to say does not matter. so why finish it?" Why would my thoughts have any importance? So, I get shocked when my voice is heard, when I am acknowledged. I am now struggling to accept the fact that what I do and say matters." It felt like you were talking about me. Seeing people going through similar things on the other side of the world makes me feel like I'm not alone and gives me the courage to stand up. I hope we get through this.
All people are the same and no one is better or worse. Everyone's voice matters. I hope that you will love and be loved very much. Let childhood traumas be transformed into good. Now you know exactly how to love correctly. Sing more, write a lot, love life and forgive your parents.
I'm middle-aged and often still feel this way due to my own similar background to yours. It doesn't go away that worthless feeling even after you've studied and understood it. It is that ingrained. Even when we know we are worthy. I suppose just doing little positive things helps and spending time with only good people. All the best to you xo
I thought it was just my parents. the same experience as myself.😢
The neglected and abused babies seem to be afraid to touch the blocks in fear that They will be yelled at or hit. They seem incredibly sad. They probably don't trust Anyone Big.
😢
They are having the constant fear of being hit or screamed at them . That is why before doing any action like just picking up a block they are looking at the people around as if the people are going to hit or scream at them . Because of this trauma from abuse , they are starting to breathe nervously . Really it is a sad thing 🥺😨😟
They were neglected, it may be that they weren't even given any attention. They don't have a basic sense of security, so anything new to them is scary and their exploration instict is held back
@@MinTsukki yup even this can be a point
Heartbreaking to see the effect of abused and neglected babies......
“An emotionally deprived child may prioritise social contact, which could be motivated by the child’s intense desire to find a maternal substitute…” my heart just shattered… 💔🥺
Me too. I want the camera people to set aside the blocks and hold those babies. I hope they did so after the recording.
Hopefully just figuratively…
same,............
Unfortunately it may also explain another reason why neglected children are sought after by predators. They are potentially far easier to lure and groom than other children. I know we know this logically but I had never seen it play out like this.
@@ascendingwithrachellovell3239 thats the sad part 😢
I’m currently in a therapeutic clinic. At 40 I still have to work on the effects of neglect. My mother suffered from schizophrenia and depression and we were all neglected as kids plus we all deal with severe PTSD and personality disorders. None of us lives a healthy and happy life. We siblings do all struggle with substances, alcohol or eating disorders as I do. I could have been an astronaut or a scientist. I can’t even keep a job for more than two months. I am a “smart” woman but my intelligence is useless. The neglect shaped my brain so intensely that some of my automatic responses and thoughts will never be removed from my mind. I started to work on that way too late when the only caregiver I had passed away.
I wish I wasn’t told I am a missed abortion. I lived all my life living like I was one.
Please, if you struggle with mental health disorders think twice before having kids and get constant support. Some disorders are incompatible with parenthood.
i'm so sorry to hear about this. thank you for sharing your story! it's never too late to turn your life as long as you're still here living in breathing and I'm very happy that you decided to seek help. that's moving in the right direction.
To all parents with newborn babies: try to interact and communicate with them as soon as 1 week old. Remember these angels need conversation and attention than any toys you give.
My baby was put into NICU for a week. I really worry how this has affected our bond sometimes. I hated having to go home and leave him in the hospital without me. I wonder if he felt neglected, unloved or even abandoned, every second he was away from me, it breaks my heart to think about it. I spent every moment I could with him, to the point even the nurses told me to try to lessen the visits as I was missing meals. My baby missed out on being in my arms for the first week of his life. I know it's nowhere near the same situation wise, but I wonder if the effects are the same.
@@persephone3309не переживайте. Это не одно и то же. Вы любите свое дитя и наверстаете всё упущенное. Всё к вас будет хорошо! ❤
Please don't worry about one week in the NICU, your baby is fine. My son spent 3 whole months in the NICU and I only visited for 5-6 hours a day, holding him and talking to him. His day-night schedule was backwards and he was awake at night with only the nurses to talk to him and asleep during the day with me. He is now an exceptionally intelligent, emotionally stable and very loving 17 year old. He does like/need physical contact and hugs though.
@@persephone3309
Yes and respectfully, don’t shove a tablet in front of their face any chance you get.
Воспитывать ребёнка нужно начинать до его рождения! Т.е.начинать воспитывать самого себя стать будущим родителем
“Just leave her be. She’ll cry it out.”
She won’t. She’ll just eventually realize that you don’t care and you’re not coming to help, and that helpless, lonely, terrible feeling will fester in her mind for the rest of her life, long after she’s forgotten about all those times you let her “cry it out.”
I really agree with this statement
I agree with you 100 percent.I said the same thing in mum groups in facebook for the cry-it-out in sleep training and i was harshly ridiculed. Welp, didnt went back there again.
As a cry it out kid, too true. An infant who is forced to cry it out definitely creates an adult who avoids showing weakness because they fear being abandoned as punishment. My mother and I have a wonderful relationship and she has since expressed serious regret, but even good people can be not great parents
That’s called the abandonment wound.
From the depth of my being, I feel every word you said.
“Every child deserves a parent, *but not every parent deserves a child.”*
Amen!!!
You know, a lot of people say it's selfish not to have children, but is it more selfish than neglecting a child?
@@cedarspirit it's selfish TO HAVE children. No human wanted to go out from their nonexisting. How when you LITERALLY don't exist.
So actually the person who wants a child is the selfish one because of personal goals.
@@cedarspirit Selfish is bringing up a child to this world not being able to emotionally and financially provide for that chid.
People have children for selfish reasons such as look good in the eyes of society, keep a partner with them, use children as their companionship, use them as labor, use them as punchbags, use them as pawns...the list is endless.
@@Sarablueunicorn well, you're just adding extra stuff but yeah. These could be the reason but the point is clear.
If people wants children, then just fucking adopt one.
59 year old male here who had a traumatic - abusive childhood and was thrown out of the home at around age 14 years old. Mother rejected me for good .. Whole family did. You don't even want to know .. Now, I am in college for this stuff and helping other neurodivergents overcome. Dr. Gabor Mate' understands the narrative presented here and I do recommend his work and videos.
My parents never interacted with me as a child and always acted like I was a burden. I’m 43 now and still feel sad, depressed and angry because they haven’t changed one bit. Whose going to give me that unconditional love!? I just want to be hugged sometimes... No matter how old you are you still need that love and affection. Please give your children all the attention and affection they need before they go seek the wrong kind from other men/women.
Yes
Babe, me too... Parents just weren't around for most of my life. I think the answer is self love, self love self love, and also sharing that love with a supportive, understanding and patient partner. It's not easy. I wish you luck.
I'm sending you a hug ! From Melbourne Australia 🤗🤗🤗
Sending a hug from Schleswig-Holstein, Germany 🤗
I feel the same btw. If you want to talk to someone, I'm there for you, even if we are strangers
Only Jesus could give you that love. He loved you so much he died on a cross willingly just so that you may one day know Him and inherit eternal life in the kingdom of God where there is no pain or death or tears.
Jesus is the light of the world and so many choose sin over a life full of the love of God.
Longing for a parent's attention and getting neglected is THE WORST FEELING EVER. This is one reason enough for a child to develop mental illnesses. Heartbreaking video.
“Baby human’s first taste of loneliness” :(
Yes, I know. My mother died when my sisters and me were too young and we were left at the mercy of a father who was incapable of love. The scars are for life. That void in your childhood can never be filled.
It really is and it doesn’t go away once you grow up!
I’m 22 and it still completely crushes me when I go to tell my parents something I’m excited about and get told to shut up or get completely ignored. No one especially a child should have to experience that hurt
It's a horrible experience. My caregivers always said that even with my mouth shut I was wrong and I've been negligenced my entire life. This video is pure trigger for me
Being born in a functional, loving and caring family is truly a privilege, there's literally nothing u can do as a baby or as a child if you don't get to experience the love by the persons who should care the most about you. I'm really sorry for all the people that have traumas due to that bc it's not their fault but also my whole respect to the ones that took their healing into their own hands and decided to be better to not repeat the same history with their own family. The two most important human beings of my life are some of those people, they are my parents.
Yeah, kinda hard for them do that when you don't have money to get that healing not to mention, in order to get healing done, you have to know that there is something wrong with you to begin with. And with how we still treat mental health issues to this day, most people don't even realize that they have issues that need some healing or fixing. Not to mention the fact that 50% of children who are put in an orphanage become homeless and 25% of them will kill themselves. Which this video did in fact mention, some of those kids were orphanes.
@@klausd.6285 My parents were very poor and they had me when they were 20, they didn't have opportunities to study so they worked in whatever job they could find since they were teenagers. Both were neglected by their fathers and my dad was abused and humilliated by his own father since he was a little kid. Ofc each person is a different situation and they get affected differently but what you said is not the only solution if you want to do things better for yourself and take control of your future and the life you want to have. Healing not only comes from a psychologist or a expensive treatment. I'm from a third world country and mental health here is very far from being relevant even till these days because people are more worried to at least get something to eat every day.
It's not a privilege. It's a requirement. People who don't cherish life and love, should not be creating humans.
So true. Thanks for sharing. I am striving to be like your parents. Break the emotional trauma cycle.
@@SunShine-kd6td its human to make mistakes. When you make mistakes you dont really know what youre doing, otherwise you wouldnt do it. Nobody gives birth thinking "ill ruin my baby's life cause its cool" thats why babies get abandoned and families get destroyed.. if they knew earlier they wouldnt make the same choices but this is not how things go, i Think it would be better if we understand that we're only humans and we are made to fail, thats our true super power. Everything comes from that, you fail and then you learn, constantly. In my humble opinion the real utopia is thinking that we Will be perfect parents, that we Will always succeed, that we will always be who we want to be and exactly where we want to be. We dont work like that. How far can we go though? How can we limit ourselves in order to not destroy what we have? I dont know. But i dont feel like constantly blaming the parents is always logical... sometimes we are just sadly and irremediably fuck*d up as creatures.. we need to accept this and then work it out to improve, and never lose our strength to move on and step forward.. again this is just how i feel about the argument.. I dont mean to make you feel like youre wrong, i replied to your comment cause it just Made me figure everything out