If the Emperor had a Podcast - Episode 3: Inquisitor (Draco), The First 40k Novel
Вставка
- Опубліковано 16 вер 2024
- Base Script/Story by Earndil & Alfabusa
Audio edited by StringStorm
/ stringstorm
/ galiant609
Script Writers: Earndil, Alfabusa
Script Editors: Nostalgia, ThunderPsyker
StringStorm as Announcer and Daemon
/ stringstorm
/ galiant609
SuperAnchors as Rogal Dorn
/ superanchors
Haven Kendrick as Karstodes
/ haven_kendrick
Zegram as Magnus the Red
/ generalvonbunny
Nostalgia as Boy
/ kaimanga12
Kochiha Ichihara as Ecclesiarch Decius
/ kochiha
Alfabusa as Wamuudes
/ alfabusa
ThunderPsyker as Ian Watson
/ thunderpsyker
Earndil as Stangley Kubricked
/ earndilio
Art by Zcee Nook
/ zceenook
www.deviantart...
Music provided by OfficioAudiorum
/ officioaudiorum
The OfficioAudiorum tracks played in this video (chronological order):
01:23
Under Siege
• Ambiences of the Far F...
12:10
Faith is my Shield
• Ambiences of the Far F...
17:15
Into the Warp
• Ambiences of the Far F...
21:18
Cold Trenches
• Ambiences of the Far F...
24:27
Wyrm Takeover
• Ambiences of the Far F...
30:41
Under Siege
• Ambiences of the Far F...
38:28
Chaos Ritual
• Ambiences of the Far F...
44:08
No Way Back
• Ambiences of the Far F...
46:33
Space Hulk
• Ambiences of the Far F...
51:43
Unwelcome Guests
• Ambiences of the Far F...
54:34
Black Crusade
• Ambiences of the Far F...
55:56
Plague Moon
• Ambiences of the Far F...
58:12
Sea of Souls
• OFFICIO AUDIORUM - Sea...
01:11:04
Last Man Standing
• Ambiences of the Far F...
01:15:23
Black Ships
• Ambiences of the Far F...
01:21:37
The Light and the Way
• Ambiences of the Far F...
___
My Patreon:
/ alfabusa
My Ko-Fi:
ko-fi.com/alfa...
My Paypal Donation Page:
www.paypal.com...
My Twitter:
/ alfabusa
My Facebook:
/ alfabusa
WANT TO SEND SOMETHING? SEND IT HERE:
Bruva Alfabusa
PO Box 76
Rynningsgatan 8
802 56 Gävle
Sweden
___
This video is completely unofficial and is in no way endorsed by Games Workshop Limited. Adeptus Astartes, Blood Angels, Bloodquest, Cadian, Catachan, the Chaos devices, Cityfight, the Chaos logo, Citadel, Citadel Device, Codex, Daemonhunters, Dark Angels, Dark Eldar, 'Eavy Metal, Eldar, Eldar symbol devices, Eye of Terror, Fire Warrior, Forge World, Games Workshop, Games Workshop logo, Genestealer, Golden Demon, Gorkamorka, Great Unclean One, Inquisitor, the Inquisitor logo, the Inquisitor device, Inquisitor:Conspiracies, Keeper of Secrets, Khorne, Kroot, Lord of Change, Necron, Nurgle, Ork, Ork skull devices, Sisters of Battle, Slaanesh, Space Hulk, Space Marine, Space Marine chapters, Space Marine chapter logos, Tau, the Tau caste designations, Tyranid, Tyrannid, Tzeentch, Ultramarines, Warhammer, Warhammer 40k Device, White Dwarf, the White Dwarf logo, and all associated marks, names, races, race insignia, characters, vehicles, locations, units, illustrations and images from the Warhammer 40,000 universe are either ®, TM and/or © Copyright Games Workshop Ltd 2000-2012, variably registered in the UK and other countries around the world. Used without permission. No challenge to their status intended. All Rights Reserved to their respective owners.
I have finally succeeded in uploading this accursed podcast onto the internet.
But at what cost?
For the longest time, this cast has been a thorn in my eyeball that I have not been able to rip out.
For what I'm sure is a murderillion different reasons by now, it has wasted more of my time than a cast has any right doing.
I am sure it is cursed, and that it will make me no joy nor money nor health after this, its successful upload.
Ian Watson placed a curse on this book and now my channel, too, is cursed.
Expect to find me in a ditch without my spine by next week.
And I hope you enjoy this abominable creation for what it is.
Bruva Alfabusa THANK YOU TERMINATOR DADDY
Cast as in the people, it cast as in the medical one?
Do not despair brother! THE EMPEROR PROTECTS!
K thx
You Made my hard working day.
Love from Austria
Fun fact: I had to say "gussy" like six or seven times, each in increasingly more disgusting fashion.
God bless your soul, Nost. Being a voice actor ain't easy, eh?
Nostalgia You broke me.
And we love you for it, Nost. Thank you.
That is absolutely repulsive, and I love you for it. Nice work.
Your suffering is not without meaning, know this and continue to serve the Emperor well.
"Should we judge him for what he likes?"
"Boy... Yes."
*slams table in Dorn*
Let's join the crusade and kink shame them into the eye of terror
A little surprised dorn would be willing to compromise the structural integrof the table. But I do not blame him.
Tis meant he's serious!
@@termnus77 dorm must have made that table to withstand that.
When you realize that the podcast is almost the run time of a feature film, so technically Ian got his movie.
Mmm... Bad comment, delete now.
Does this make Alfabusa into Stanley Kubrick?
Why would you say something so heretical?
I thought it was referring to the animated movie "Lord Inquisitor" thats been in the works for years
Brass, I truly, truly hate to be the one to tell you this, but he cancelled the project.
Don't worry, you can always get your CG Warhammer fix from Ultrama-
This was the last Emperor podcast they ever made before Games Workshop shut down all fan animations and projects... I don't think Bruva was wrong about it bringing forth a curse
Fuck...your right
Maybe one day we'll be surprised with something, but my love of the series will always bring me back to rewatch the gold we have.
God I miss this series....this and the Last Temple are just perfect...
You... You have a point.
Maybe one day I miss the show more than anything in the world I’m just waiting for games workshop to change it’s course I still have not bought a model from them sense lol. (Not some crazy boycott just lack of interest because this was part of the thing that gave me interest in the hobby. I mannerly paint DND models now.)
29:46
Boy: “gussy...”
Rogal: “NOOOOOOOO!”
Rogal’s really falling into the dad role in a wholesome way
That NO was so sudden it made me fall of my chair XD. Best part.
MOVE ON SWIFTLY!!!
Best part alongside the taco bit
taylor tilbury dude I almost choked to death at those scenes, they both caught me so off guard
Dorn's angry at himself for letting Boy get traumatized by all of this.
>”girls with eyes double the size of human eyes”
So anime girls.
Anime is nothing but slaaneshi corruption.
@Lord of Warhammer what about NTR?
Well it is the warp
@Jonathan Stiles sadly, though Ian Watson is excellent at pointing out details in these things, he makes poor plots with holes in them, not bothering with internal consistency. he clearly needed the aid of another versed in the lore to iron out these problems, and could've made a book of fetish pornography that also tells a gripping tale of adventure and peril.
@Jonathan Stiles I think you're right, I was having a debate whether or not Ian Watson would be favored by Slaanesh. I was arguing against on the grounds of his story being sub par, and not a masterpiece in story, while also providing a bizarre sexual tinge.
I love that the pre-prologue straight up says "this book deserves to be burned and forgotten. Please, for the love of god, don't read this."
At least it's honest
For the love of god? I assume you mean Man-Emperor of Mankind, right?
Who knows, Ian? Maybe this is my next movie.
@@HunhowsShadowStalker Wrong sci-fi universe, pal
@@mohitonon-alco4287 Powerful empire, far in the distant future, as strong love for gold.
The Imperium of Mankind is very much like the Orokin Empire.
Are you saying that I'm not allowed to worship the Man-Emperor simply because I'm not of that universe? Are you forcing me to commit *_HERESY?!_*
Boy: "Worry no, I can just drink my own blood."
Dorn: "... No."
Most wholesome and fatherly relationship in the series.
Should we judge him for what he likes?
BOY.........yes.
@@Thejigholeman
"Gussy..."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
*cocks shotgun* “I will risk a window to have your bulbous frame thrown out of here!”
Dorn is the stern uncle that is kind of scary but tries to look out for you. Magnus is the cool uncle who you kind of like but who has made bad life choices.
Nah rogal is the dad in this relationship
I wish to apologize for my misspelling of lord adorable
He has gone near kratos levels of dad. and its adorable!
Uncle Magnus is the one that spoils you with candy, R rated movie tickets, and shows you his human skin collection
@@HippoKing.MP3 ...that's oddly specific
Jonathan Stiles in my case the emperor is my dad
Story arc completes when Boy becomes Chapter Master Boy of the Imperial Fists.
No he becomes the next captain General of the Custodies.
No.
The boy is a Son Of Dorn. He will lead them to victory.
WRONG!!! HE SHALL BE THE NEXT EMPEROR!!!
@@MrGoblin1000 do i smell heresy?
@@barrybend7189 maybe an Hybrid custodian/space marine?
I love how when Dorn is telling Boy "No" about drinking his own blood, he sounds genuinely upset about the idea rather than just idly denying it.
That had me laughing so hard I could barely breath for several minutes straight.
Dorn is a good dad.
Also off guard.
It's because he knows Boy could technically do it, but he shouldn't.
It's funny because Space Marines occasionally consume flesh
i can only imagine thousands of psykers' heads exploding as the emperor casts the words *D U M P Y G R I M B O* across the galaxy
Eldar Seer: *Doing seer things.*
Emprah: "*D U M B I G I M B O.*
Eldar: What the fuck?
If this were in the main series the first dumpy grimbo would be accompanied by the terrified guardsman
The hundreds of psykers that slowly die, sputtering "Dumpy Grimbo" from their frothing mouths, and etch it onto their sanctum walls in their own blood.
The thousands of scribes that write this down with utmost reverence and sincerity for their duty, these final words, "Dumby Grimbo", to pass on to someone who can actually use this message.
The tens of thousands of imperial scholars, priests, chaplains, and other ecclesiastical elite staff that debate the meaning of dumby grimbo, and the purpose for the most holy Emperor of mankind to deliver this message.
The hundreds of thousands of commisairs, chapter masters, captains, sergeants, inquisitors, shield captains, and sisters superior that mull over the words dumby grimbo, and dispense their wisdom gleaned from these words received from their spiritual leaders, along with the original meanings.
And the millions of brave souls of the Imperium, the pdf, the guardsmen, the battle sisters, the space marines, the grey knights, the custodes, and more besides, that march into battle, with the words dumby grimbo on their lips, and in their last gasps.
In the grim darkness of the 44th millennium, there is no peace, and no war. There is only dumby grimbo.
@@aprinnyonbreak1290 *Clapping*
@@ultramarinescaptain3840 *Millions dead, hundreds of Eldar are being consumed by the phrase as it becomes a new chaos god*
This whole podcast is just Ian Watson getting kinkshamed for over an hour.
Ian Watson deserves this.
*Yes...*
And the poor Boy...
Ian Watson would probably enjoy this video a little too much
I wonder what Uriah thinks about this book
@@okaminotamashi7411 or urist
Boy: gussy-
Dorn: *NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!*
_"going to kill that Ian Watson..."_
The rage in his voice can fuel a whole crusade.
And now we see where the Black Templars get their unmatched fury from. Sigismund must have read this book and the rage passed down his gene line.
lord Kal
Well. Can see where the Black Templars get it from.
i think his rage in that one moment surpasses the rage Magnus has for the space wolves
It took me until 39:49 before I realized Karstodes just read Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone and has no idea what everyone else is talking about.
To be fair the book they were reviewing was SO insane that he almost got away with it.
I questioned it from the beginning, but didn't think too hard cause I was sure it was gonna come back somehow.
I mean hey, given all the post novel changes and retcons Rowling’s been making, the similarities could overlap a lot.
JK Rowling is a Heretic confirmed
@@lukasperuzovic1429 Of course she is Helbract would tell you the book is full of "FUCKING WITCHS AND FOUL SORCERY"
The most hilarious part about that "Maybe this is my next movie" quote, is that it was cited by Ian Watson himself during an interview, and by the way he tells it I am 90% sure Spielberg was humoring him and trying to end the conversation as quickly as possible without actually giving a real opinion or making any promises, and Watson was just too proud of himself to realize it.
Edit: Over a year later someone pointed out I put down Spielberg instead of Kubrick ^^;
I mean, wow. He actually expected Spielberg to do a movie, that would OBVIOUSLY be a porno about his book
Yeah it seem very likely, Spielberg was just being polite to the screenwriter who wrote the movie A.I, I mean anyone who make that thing a movie would risk there career as a director for life.
That was supposed to be Kubrick.
@@involuntaryanalysis I made this comment so long ago I'm surprised you're the first person to point this out.
I wonder if it's worth pointing out to anyone still reading this that Kubrick died before AI could be completed, so whether he was serious or not (which I fervently believe he was not) there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell of that actually happening. Sad story, that...
Sadly, no, by the way he tells it, it was Kubrick being absurdly demanding and controlling about everything in his life that wasn''t Kubrick himself. He insisted on knowing everything about it to the point of getting Games Workshop to send him shit.
Ian Watson is truly one of Slaanesh's greatest champions.
Tentagls...
Anyone else thinks that if/when Jaq Draco returns he’s gonna be a champion of Slaanesh?
@@withheldrathernotsay3324 they need to gt ian watsan back for no other reason than kinky genestealer and slaaneshi xxx
Gussy...
@@calorinedarkness5232 In the words of lord Adorable: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Boy is starting to back talk a Custodes. Boy is Astartes material.
Boss Umbra *primaris astartes
He has a kill now
And he kicked a guy to death
@@ourpetsarecute3110 THESE ARE S T A I R W A L K L E G S
@Anirban Chakrabarti According to Wamuudes in this very video, Boy is still young enough.
That "NO!" is the most emotion we've ever seen out of Dorn.
...gussy
There is genuine pain in that scream, if not regret
@@theoddwasp I'd say more world-shattering rage, but I see where you're coming from.
Dorn truely cares about boys well being its very touching to see him be papa Dorn.
Time stamp please
I like how Karstodes has just been ranting about Harry Potter the whole time
I love how there is finally a new top comment haha
Also it took me 2 or 3 listens to catch on that (I use the emperors voice to put me to sleep oddly enough)
which shows he can actually read. and while some might mock him for not realizing everyone is talking about a different book, I would retort that everyone else fails to realize he is talking about a different book the whole time (except Boy).
@@ArchivedFox but he also got half the story wrong though...
@@ArchivedFox They thought it was a different version because they all got different tomes / they probably never pay no mind to him due to him constantly picking on boy
@@manemperorofmankind8119 Both books DO have important characters named "Draco", though.
19:30
“Eat the death porridge, sir”
I like boy’s growing sass towards Karstodes
He can only take so much...
I might use that on someone
Won't be long until boy will throw him out the window
Paint Brush clearly Dorns personality is rubbing off on him(poor choice of words)
Karstodes' shocked reaction is all too funny.
Boy: "Should we judge him for what he likes?"
Dorn: "Boy." Slams fist "Yes."
Boy:"gussy."
Dorn:"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
Well... I think that was rather rational reaction.
@@54lolman Lost track of how many times I replayed that XD
Don’t thing Rogal no’d that hard aince he revealed himself to his father and kinda brother
@@riyadislam3441 I'm around 20 for me . Aswsome scene.
Sounds like standard imperial policy to be honest
I cannot lie when I say this book was not fun. Making fun of it was. Reading it was not. I can see making the video was about as much fun.
The fun in it was Slaaneshi parts, and even this not particularly.
the book is so bad, it got me lots of diseases even though I didn't read it and only heard about it from this podcast. Choas power
After actually reading the series I feel dirty....l
@@ninjagia1234 I'm so sorry
@@ninjagia1234 does it get worse?
They’re making fun of Karstodes for reading the wrong book, (which is hilarious lol), but, they don’t didn’t consider it an accomplishment he learned to read since the last podcast lol.
Keep it up Karstodes :)
Also, how is a morphine derivative supposed to have anything to do with shape shifting? Lol I guess it would help with pain from changing but opiates have nothing to do with changes to dna. They don’t even enter the cell itself lol
Also I find it funny that Stanley Kubrick is mentioned lol, since he was the original director of AI before his death and Spielberg took over.
@@matthewmcguire9632 It's polymorphine. Not some kind of polymer morphine, but a technobabbly substance whose name comes from the Greek words for "many" and "shape".
So ‘poly’ and ‘morph’ then? That makes sense, though the name makes it sound like a super duper combo drug made from all the different opiate alkaloids at once lol....
Mmm, yummy XP lol
The fact he can read makes him at least a bit smarter than space wolves l.
"Taco Tuesday is on Friday"- My father Magnus
"ThE pOwErS oF CohAs PrEvAiL
A vampire follower of the changer of ways?
Yes Magnus, bring the Choas to the throne room!
what does that mean ?
I just love how Magnus was being a shitposter throughout the whole voxcast.
LimeTortilla a bunch of fucking murder hobos was probs my fave XD
I just realized that if Jaq tattoos the faces of daemons onto himself, then whenever he dies either some poor Inquisitorial mortician will be confronted by a horrifying tapestry of heresy, or the daemon that killed him will know exactly who to call up for bragging purposes.
Why not both? And who's to say that none of those daemons can't use an image to prey upon some poor weak minded mortician. Really tattooing images of daemons all over his body should've come as an obviously stupid thing, particularly since a Malleus Inquisitor's job is to know what sort of bad shit happens when you get involved with daemons.
Does anyone else wonder who the _fuck_ he got to work on the tattoo? It must've been a bunch of servitors they immediately binned afterwards or something.
I reminds me of a Dark Heresy session where the group's tech priest acquires a servitor after raiding a traitor's mansion. He enlists the aid of a doctor in removing a data packet hidden in the servitor's brain. They analyze the data and discover tech Heresy. The Tech priest pulls out his bolt pistol and slams the doctor's brains out on the spot.
Wouldn’t depictions of demons on your flesh just give them more power in the warp?
@@wikipediaintellectual7088 Not really. Demons are basically fragments of their respective Chaos God, so they'd only be powered up if the act of getting or having the tattoo was somehow dedicated directly to one of the four.
Karstodes will always be my favorite TTS character. His heartfelt joy about reading Harrius Potterus and the Heretic Sorceror's Rock and broken despair after discovering it wasn't real was amazing writing.
I'm so happy that these podcasts really developed three of them. From stripper bullies to developed characters that I now understand why Big E has them as his companions .
@@razorburn645 Now all they need are the Joestardes
I like Wamudees. The frictionless one
@@evancromee2727 ah yes, the spore eater
@Pasha Staravoitau He was banished to Warhammer Fantasy for a few episodes for lusting after Magnus.
One year later:
Boy: "I need to watch out for the shifty peoples, as they might be Ian Watson Bois, looking to wear your skin."
so THAT'S where that's from!!!!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa
The part where Decius says "what" after boy talks about his siblings being stomped on made me feel rather sorry for him. He just found out about this really horrible thing that's been happening right outside his door and never knew....he needs a hug. Boy too for that matter.
1:22:49
i know who will give him a a fu**ing spinebreaking hug and he on a way to Terra(sort of)
@@ДаниилЛактионов-т2п Bruva Friend! There are hugs for everyone!
@@atavy i meant a Vulkan
@@ДаниилЛактионов-т2п Он того и имел ввиду. Он Вулкана и цитировал.
"if I were strong enough i would destroy him"
seriously, make this boy a space marine
He's already a primarus, he's the baseline Gene Code for all who come after.
Upgrade him with the latest weaponry known to mankind
Also train him
He'll just end up as an imperial guardsman
@@Janfon1 but he looks like one of thoe mechanicus chaps
Janfon01 there is no finer fate than to serve the god emperor of man. As an Astartes or a guardsman he shall do his duty.
That Adornable NO scream is the most accurate representation of everyone's mind after hearing the contents of the book, holy shit.
Poor Boy is forever tainted and Dadorable can do nothing to stop it
...gussy
what is the book ?
@@hellatze heresery
@@hellatze if you ask what its called, just look up Ian Watsons Wikipedia page and look under the warhammer section, its the oldest one there
Magnus as a DM: Stay with my story or die.
Magnus giving advice to writers: FOLLOW YOUR HEART!!!
in Magnus' defence, he was forced into the DM position which is no fun for anyone
He followed his heart
@@IMfuuffy Magnus was a first time GM dealing with a dozen murderhobos. The game was rigged from the start
@@jefferycrouse4652 Not to mention he actually let the party do whatever until it got way out of hand. His reaction may not have been entirely right, but it was understandable.
Yup.. Magnus did not expect the party to derail WAY out of anything he had planned for them
"Do not worry, boy. Someday in the future you may grow strong enough to defenestrate foul, depraved secret inquisitors."
- Rogal Dorn on what every little boy wants to do when he grows up.
What boy wouldn't dream of such things?
_"Woooow."_
The Fists do recruit from Holy Terra after all
Defenestration is a lovely word, to be fair.
@@mcsquizzy440 its honesly quite amazing that english has word specifically for the acting of throwing chumps out of windows
“Millions dead and here I munch.” -Dumpy Grimbo
30:10
Here. I. Munch.
I want that on my epitaph.
"It's just sugar on the porridge of death"- Ye boi Grimbo
I just realized, the emperor states that the books contents are entirely fictional, due to the book stating that Draco and the emperor communicated, and the emperor denies this.
However just because the emperor didn’t himself speak with Draco means that the book itself is untrue.
The book states early on that it is Dracos own diary.
Thus, it is fully possible that Draco didn’t actually speak with the emperor, but, clearly an insane man, could have simply hallucinated the emperor speaking with him.
Emperor said he dose not remember
Then again this is only one shard of the emperor
It might of been other shard(s)
Alternatively, the book also states that "The Emperor" was a fractured, insane mess of multiple consciousnesses, so it's entirely possible the one operating the TTS device is different from the ones who talked to Jake.
It's draco's own fanfiction
I hate that I share a name with this heretic
@@dracogatom7873 I A N W A T S O N
Jaq Draco must've been taking lessons from the famous Vindicare assassin, 'Serpent Solidius', whom once snuck into a T'au military installation with nothing but a metal box and a suppressed autopistol, when it came to that moment involving the golden throne.
@@chiefkeef74 *METAL.* *_BAWKSES._*
@@chiefkeef74 This man gets it.
TeH CoWaRdS TeH FoOlS!!
one of my favorite bits of Imperial Assassin lore is when a Callidus Assassin, i shit you not, stole a rebellious Planetary Governor's baby by *disguising as the child's nursemaid and SWALLOWING THEM WHOLE,* then regurgitating the child after she escaped, presumably to hold the child for ransom or something.
commissar, I'm trying to sneak around, but I'm dummy thicc, and the clap of my asscheeks keeps alerting the fire warriors
Papa Dorn becoming a real father to boy...
*Sniff*
...They grow up so fast...
How will the Imperial Fists and their successor chapters respond to this given how close their primarch is to boy?
They ask if the Boy want to be a Space Marine, we got the Future Chapter Master of the Imperial Fist, Chapter Master Boy.
@@waterpicker6879 I think they would be okay with it. As far as I know the imperial fists and their successor chapters aren't prone to being jealous baby men, unlike some people *COUGH*pertarabo*COUGH*
Who is growing though? Boy, or Dorn?
By the way, Boy seems to have some latent psychic ability, seeing as he somehow "sees" things he couldn't hear "in his hollow eye".
Boy for Imperial Fists Librarian?
Either Magnus VA is the best actor of all time or Ian Watson cracked him so hard he coudn't keep a straight face during the session. Either way this man is gold and should be protected at all costs
More likely the latter. Zegram is amazing
Zegram is AUSTRALIAN and should be protected at all costs. Send him all the boomerangs in boxes!!
33:41 wamundes: hey boy perhaps you should become a custodian.
Rogal dorn: pulls out shotgun.
Only because he knows what the other Custodians would do to poor Boy...
Magnimagic:"Wait, how are you even holding that shotgun?"
Honestly it wouldn't surprise me if there are shot-cannon's sized for that armor.
There are
*shutgon
Be not afraid that Dorn has a shotgun.
Be afraid that Dorn will sacrifice a perfectly good window to shoot you out of it.
Anyone else feel kinda bad for Kar? First, he can't read, so people make fun of him. He then tries to read, falls in love with a book, and then they mock him for loving what he's read. Poor guy...
I don't think they mock him for what he reads. I think they mock him for continuously confusing one book for an entirely another one.
He's terrible, but he does try to become a better person to please the Emperor.
I would have more pity for him if he wasn't such a complete asshole to Boy. He's getting better though.
@@FireTalon24 All to make the emperor proud.
@@FireTalon24 he's better than Waamudes at least.
"Shall we judge him on what he likes"
Dorn: *SLAM* Yes
Guilliman: *Scoots away*
While pushing his eldar waifu through the back door.
Bernhard Scholtz I cant wait for tts to get to gathering storm so we can witness the glory of Guilivrain
@@PhthaloGreenskin and their child gil gulliman yes fans already drew fanart of their hypothetical child.
@@torinodeguzman4243 Why was I suprised.
I mean the Emperor seems approve of Human/Eldar pairings as his reaction to Can Love Bloom on the Battlefield Letter in a previous episode. As he finds the idea of a Eldar "Demeaning themselves" in the eyes of the rest of their race to sleep with a human monkeys amusing. Of course he might not be so ok with it being his progeny in this scenario.
Boy: dont worry, i can just drink my own blood!
Dorn:...NO!
oh no hes the son of sanquinius
f-flnesh eaternerrs...
@@indecisivecountdooku1340 HERETIC BORGOR
I love how Boy's own Hive-World lifestyle is so terrible that even Rogal "Magic Pain-Glove" Dorn is horrified by it.
He is sanguinus
I knew BOY was going to get a bowl of exterminatus flakes the first second i heard HIS voice
"...millions dead and here I munch."
should be followed by, "it's like a picnic" *chew*
What a beautiful DUWANG
Nah, not really. Grim's the best character in the whole book because he's the only character who isn't insane, perverted, or insanely perverted. He has a conscience, he navigates the havoc of a Genestealer attack using his *POWER TRIKE,* he tells off a genocidal astropath by noting that her vengeance cost her the only thing she held dear, and he resists Slaaneshi corruption in the middle of the Eye of Terror. He's a badass, and in a way that isn't entirely contrived!
@@CharlesUrban and yet he munched.
@@arnantphongsatha7906 he just wants a quiet life
Profile pic is... Worrying
So basically...
The first official Warhammer 40k book...
Was ‘MY IMMORTAL’.
What?
@In the halls of madness, dwells a mad philosopher. I despise you.
@In the halls of madness, dwells a mad philosopher. it's a GOD DAMN VAMPIRE!
We do not speak of that... anomaly
Hey, at least now people can write in comfort knowing they'll never write anything worse than THAT.
And if someone happens to, they're a daemon. *grabs bolter to the sound of Warriors of the God-Emperor*
“Please give me permission Kinkshame Ian Watson back into the eye of terror!”
Glad to see the writing still making me laugh out loud. Good work lads!
I AGREE WITH WAAMUDES ABOUT KINKSHAMING IAN WATSON INTO THE EYE OF TERROR
@@Johan_the_Marshal NO! THAT WILL POWER UP SLANNESH TO UNPRECEDENTED LEVELS AND CAUSE A RULE 34 APOCALYPSE!
You speak as if a rule 34 apocalypse is a bad thing.
@@davis3053 the eldar tried one of those. it didn't go well for them
"Taco Teusday's on friday"
I missed Magnus.
This entire voxcast is worth it just for that one singular joke.
THE POWERS OF CHOAS PREVAIL!
This makes me wonder: Why do they keep mispronouncing "chaos" if the censor filter is no longer a thing? Heck, Dorn even said "chaos" once in this video.
@@Matihood1 Probably habit.
How about instead of eating tacos, we just talk, oooohhhhh?
Hearing Dorn Dad-rage and Magnus feel understood is heartwarming. The rest makes me wish Big Bruva Hellbrecht smash a mug in my eyes.
wasn't hellbrecht sposed to have a check up
@@axza9590 once every two episodes. Evens, not odds.
@@axza9590 Yes, but the geeks in Nottingham decided that Hellbrecht doesn't need it anymore thanks to one big word - Copyright. Now, we have Big D, his sons Marckus and Door, Marckus's lover Kitten, and Door's son Boy.
@@NaviciaAbbot don't forget the double bus and drugs!
Rogal’s paternal instincts towards Boy are honestly kind of adorable.
A*dorn*able, fixed it for you. =P
Ah, thank you! There’s the term I was looking for.
Beat me to it
Even in this accursed voxcast lord adorable's care for his(future imperial fist)boy shines through as a beacon of hope in this grimdark future
I absolutely love how he goes “Shotgun Dad” as soon as Wamuu suggests Boy becomes a Custodes
"millions dead, and here I munch"- grimbo
It's the sugar on the porridge of death
Grimbo you say?
ua-cam.com/video/Cp5tutGj4Dk/v-deo.html
@@GiveMeBass93 Is this the epilogue epilogue to the horrifying story we just read?
I have no mouth, and I must munch.
Grimbo may have been the most relatable character in that pornographic mess, and now his faction is dead.
"Ian Watson, Sewer Goblin extraordinaire" I need to make that my vox tone.
he sits upon the goblin throne
@@conan2096 battling any who come in greasy combat
@@mrfrost6211 and making people uncomfortable with his very voice
41:06 just marking that spot
If I may reduce the Emperor's meaning when it comes to writing:
_Breadth of vocabulary is _*_not_*_ depth of story._
I think that's best put under 'tl;dr'.
That is remarkably close to how we all felt about reading this book. It has all the earmarks of being a competent and interesting setup, but Mr. Watson fumbles at almost every hurdle by stuffing everything to the brim with crazy allegories, strange metaphors, and more erotic tangents than is necessary.
It's far from the worst thing we've read. We play most of this shit up for laughs, but it had a lot of potential to be a good story, and it's kind of lame that it was one of the first 40k books written that was not a codex.
@@Catman2030 This book is a Choas attack on humanity's remaining sanity.
Understand this: the same company that let this book exist is the same one that gets lawyers after people _who make this trash fire of a book entertaining!_
They really are the Imperial high counsel. May the Emperor save us all.
Gw are most definitely not brain dead
@@voidwalkerbruh7426 Well THAT'S a lie
Is it the same lawyers from (what was this, 1993?) This book's era, or have two generations of lawyers come and gone since the 90s?
@@sonofeyeabovealleffoff5462My father has been a lawyer for about that long, so maybe.
29:46 [gussy] feel free to press multiple times in a row until your done laughing.
*N O ! !*
I am currently dying please send help.
@@VelociraptorsOfSkyrim sorry it has been lost in a warp storm
@@alvarohernani6645 *N O O O O O O O O O O O ! ! ! ! ! !*
*NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!*
**THE POWERS OF CHOAS PREVAIL!!**
Never change Magnus, never change
JUST AS PLANNED!!
That line literally made me laugh for 5 minutes. I can barely stop Giggling, I swear
Taco Tuesdays on Friday.
1:27:35
Wouldn't 'never changing' be Nurgle's schtick.
Boy went from being timid and weak to savage and fearless. The fact he casually tells off Karstodes is hilarious, and i can't wait for future episodes of this.
also, "whadyoujustfuckingcallme?"
Eat the death porridge sir.
What’s the time stamp?
@@1stcaptainraldoron538 for the Magnus quote? 4:38 - 4:47
For the Karstodes bit, 1:09:34
He is slowly being corrupted by Choas. Probably since the podcast with Uriah Olathaire.
You know what gets me about the flowery language overuse at the end? A good author, or even a mediocre one, can use words the readers don't know and still makes themselves understood. I went into Ciaphas Cain not knowing what words like insouciant or actinic meant, but through the magic of context clues, it's still clear what he means.
Heck, look at Clockwork Orange. You don't need to know Russian to understand nadsat.
Underrated comment here
While I do love the Dorn and Boi's father/son dynamic, I do also like the kind of kinship Magnus has with Boi as a fellow Cyclops.
He is his adoptive uncle technically at this point. The cool uncle I think
Jlovedown McHoedown The nerd uncle
The red uncle
Magnus and dorn raising the boy....
Still amuch better story then twilight
A Chaotic, freedom loving Primarch and a lawful, order-loving primarch. Pretty good spectrum of influences. Gonna end oddly if the kid turns out to by a psyker but, I don't see how he would be alive if that was the case.
"Eat the death-porridge,sir". I am so going to use that at work. Thank you.
“Possession of a secret is no blessing...no hidden jewel. Rather it is akin to a *PoIsOn ToAd* lurking inside a GeM-eNcRuStEd 🅱️⭕️❌”
At least it's not a meTAL BAWKS!
As I read this comment, the dialogue played. Cursed.
BAWKSES.
No joke, what the fuck does that even mean?
I want to boop the snoot
The four greatest champions of Slaanesh
Shadman
Fulgrim
Lucius
And Ian Watson
YES!
I dont know junkin has a lot of merita too
@@xzenitramx666 who? never heard of them
you have obviously not seen the rpgmaker game 'latex dungeon' by zxc, you want a sleenesh realm, play that game, zxc blow's all of those people out of the water
The creators of FATAL should be on this list.
"I will risk a window to have your bulbous frame thrown out of here."
Never before has Rogal Dorn sounded so intimidating.
I agree.
He is willing to put a very obvious structural weakness into his defense just to throw a inbred custodian out the window.
That’s like papa smurf going into a blind fit of rage with nails in his skull
Shadow Butcher
Acceptable damages
sacrifice structural integrity temporarily to preserve Boy’s integrity
Abdega at until a more permanent solution can be granted to guard boy’s soul
I remind you: Dorn's fury is entirely capable of affecting the world around him in... menacing ways. Also, the Scouring happened.
But honestly, Karstodes should be scared shitless of him. Dadornable doesn't take kindly to bullying.
Magnus realizing that he's failed at everything he's tried to do (in the episode that precedes this voxcast) seems to have just let him fall into the role of a troll, not taking anything too seriously, and it works for him.
Peter Petrasko Magnus’s problem is that he never considers the possibility that his plans might fail and puts the blame on others even though it was his fault for not preparing back up plans just in case, he also claims to be the victim and not at fault for the heresy yet as we have seen he let his anger and ego get the better of him, twice
@@dionjaywoollaston1349 To be fair, Magnus normally has others in mind and did things to help others. Being betrayed at the Council and the Horus Heresy made him more jaded.
hudhouse99 true but it’s still partly his fault that the webway was destroyed allowing demons into the palace
@@dionjaywoollaston1349 I never said he never fucked up. I just meant he had innocent intentions and was genuinely trying to be a good person until the Grimdark universe fucked him over and now made him a sass master.
Also the Emperor has finally catched up on that and is using it to his advantage. He sends Magnus on missions, without him knowing, knowing he will fail. So instead of preparing for Magnus succeding he prepares for Magnus to fail. And IT WORKS! He has two Primarchs on its way, Kitten is about to get the Prometheus Protocol, or face of Agaisnt the Void Dragon, what happens first,got the High Lords to work properly, and made sure Magnus got rid of the Inquisition, who stumbled upon Leman, and who knows that Magnus is now in the Palace, making a Third Primarch coming on his way
Are we not going to acknowledge that Karstodes is learning to read, the fact that he had a mental breakdown over a Harry Potter novel, and that it isn't the first time he's done so?
Also, the evolution of Boy is unfolding in such a delightful and hilarious manner
Yes, it's good that he's learned to read now. The Philosopher's Stone was his first book to read personally. His last freak-out was when the others read "The Giving Tree" to him and he later found out it was also fiction.
223 pages is novel size to you? Christ by that standard only IT must be a book to you
@@joratoxdarkblade6826 Two words. Jules. Verne.
@@awendigowithinternetaccess4400 Ooooh right...... bad translation, the danish word for shortstory being novelle so kinda just assumed. Turns out novel is actual book size. Ignore the dumb foreigner
@@korstmahler When was that? i must have missed that on the podcasts i think
"a custodes killing a rat"
"must have been the shield captain"
*kitten* ?
Nah, kitten is Captain-General. Shield captain is one of the naked Custodes
@@cyanide_latte yea but didn't kitten get elected after the emperor got the tts device? thus meaning kitten was, at the time, only shield captain?
Salford Shan he was captain general long before the emperor got a tts
@@cyanide_latte Karstodes to be exact
Yeah, the one leaving while crying was the shield captain, he even admitted that before taking the captain genrals place was all they ever did was shooting rats and pressing benches.
The day Rogal Dorn fully agreed with his most wayward of sons in the Black Templars.
Crusade now.
Call a last wall and direct it at something
I'll get the Hellfire Rounds
Black templars are still sons of Dorn.
Rogal has mental stoic barriers holding back his intense rage 24/7 black templar apothecary looked at these barriers and threw them out.
No mistakes were made
Just a glorious accident
AMEN AND ATTACK!
Solid snake: I’m going to sneak into this military base in a box
Jaq Draco: hold my beer
prefer "hold my GENESTEALER PUSSY"
@@MrMuelltube "HOLD MY GENESTEALER POCKET PUSSY"
Ya know... I would have liked your comment, but that would mean I would be implying Jaq Draco was better than Solid Snake. Don't get me wrong, I really like your joke (which is why I even bothered commenting), I just can't get past the implication.
Bill Tenth
So you are saying you would,
*But the implication?!*
@@Abdega Yup. That's about the size of it.
>New If the Emperor had a Podcast episode
Today is a good day.
Or is it
@@renuduner2 I now see what you mean...
HELL YEAH
IT'S A TRAP
I never clicked on a video so guickly
"Wizards don’t wear jeans"
Well, Karstodes may have read the books, but he definitely didn’t watch the movies
Books always superior.
He only read the first one.
@@LibertarianMexican He mentioned polyjuice potion, introduced in book 2.
"MILLIONS DEAD, AND HERE I MUNCH, AND THOUGH THE GENESTEALERS ARE LOSING THIS FIGHT, THAT FACT IS BUT SUGAR ON THE PORRIDGE OF DEATH"
I snarted
The absolute funniest shit, that I'm sure was written with a straight face and no humor
1:23:08
Decius' "what..." there... that... sounded very... remorseful.
Like he heard what the boy said and was utterly broken by the idea that in the imperial palace, children were being flattened or killed just by lines of people. Felt like he was truly upset for boy.
He also changes his voice to a much gentler tone whenever he speaks to the kid. He's probably the most human character of the cast, and care about people he doesn't personally know, which is more than even Dorn did.
Shame he can't change things, if the Boy short is anything to go by.
@@anonymousmcanonymous3055
The emperor seems kinda fond of boy too, considering in the two last podcast he didnt direct any cursed words towards boy, which considering its big e, thats nothing short of a miracle
@@iamafuckingfailure Emperor treating boy better than any of his sons.
Add onto the fact earlier he sounded really angry at himself for being a "privilege bastard" I dare say Decius might just be helping around the palace more
Being on a paradise planet would be preferable than reading this book.
As a son of Krieg this means something.
Being on a paradise world is a moment not spent serving. reading this book is a moment of suffering for no gain. Also, why do you believe, that a paradise world will remain that way too long after your arrival?
Can you inspire some zeal in me to die for the emperor and also study?
Getting soaps thrown at my direction would be better than reading this book. As a follower of Grandpa Nurgle, that's saying something.
@@CryingZombie666 Not enough, that is a cop-out. You are "Disgustingly resilient. if you really wanted to express you desire not to read this book, you would pick up the soap, get water and disinfectant, pour it into a bowl, or a tub, heat it all up, mix it all together and start diligently scrubbing yourself.
Watching paint dry would be preferable. Speaking as a faithful of Tzeench, even in the dull, monochrome hell of paint there's a change happening - at least it's dry in the end
"Taco tuesday is on friday. CHAOS PREVAILS!" is the single greatest thing ever spoken
"THE POWER OF CHOAS PREVAILS" all the while boy panics
I love that Magnus loves this insanity. He's having the time of his life, and it's awesome.
THE POWER OF CHOAS PREVAIL!
I do too. I legit cracked up upon the ridiculous analogies that this sewer goblin used.
"...here I munch" was the best. It is covered on so many layers of narm that not even all the infinity circuits could process the amount of hilarity that it emits.
Tzeentch: That’s my boy…
He's. Just. That. Good!
MagnyMagic my man
Watson has to be a Slaaneshi cultist. I'm pretty sure that he didn't invent the lurid horrors of that Daemon World so much as describe what he dreams about every night.
Slaaneshi cultist? By Tzeentch's BBBs, he is a Slaaneshi *Greater Daemon*
@@CryingZombie666 Daemon Prince.
He is *SLAANESH HIM/HER/ITSELF!*
@@valhalanguardsman2588 No, his power level is not enough to be Slaanesh.
@@TheGoodLuc WHAT DOES THE AUSPEX SAY ABOUT HIS PERVERT LEVEL?!
I absolutely adore how this series treats GW's codices and novels as if they are actual historical documentation within the setting. The Black Templar is my favourite to date but this one is a close second.
I also like how a lot of these texts are found within the Black Library. Not only does it work as a meta-joke, but it makes total sense that some of these novels would be held in the Black Library, considering the horrifying descriptions of Daemon Worlds and equally terrible truths behind Imperial history.
Lord Acclaim it's all together a brilliant fan parody of a Grimdark setting :P
And this setting is actually is a very dark parody itself.
I'm very partial to The Last Church as seeing Uriah deconstruct the Emperor is very interesting and something not seen very often. I'm loving the Pillar Custodes growing and developing as individual characters instead of being greased up oil tankers of double entendres.
@@zerosen1972 character development! :D
I am super sad that GW decided to swing its legal ballsack around and scared Alfa and crew away from 40k
I just want to see a "If the Emperor played Cards Against Humanity" while using a Warhammer 40k/TTS themed deck.
That'd be hilarious.
I will pay them to do this!
@Mitchell Meyer It has to. If not, I'd make one
@Mitchell Meyer
Yes, there is a custom deck on CardCast that can be used in an online match of Cards Against Humanity. It consists of 45 cards; 30 white cards and 15 black cards.
Maybe it’s the real form of that game he plays with Tzeentch
IN THE NAME OF THE EMPEROR, MAKE THIS HAPPEN!!!
I love how Magnus is just barely holding back bouts of laughter.
And here I munch...
After watching this I may have to read this horrible book. And I'm afraid my reaction will probably be close to Magnus...
@@gornfoo I read it some months ago
And yes I share them, the book sucks but it was so fascinating to read and they skipped the complete nonsense that is "warp hopping" and the entire adventure that was to get Draco to Terra
Is it just me or does Magnus seem like a troll?
I'm loving the bonding moments between Magnus and Boy.
...and the fact that, while Karstodes has clearly learned to read, he read a completely different book. An achievement in itself.
Uncle magnus needs to find his own child to corrupt into a sewer goblin and leave Boy alone.
Reading it upside down no less.
@@MrRemicas and still understanding what's going on in the plot..
@@LethargicGM Maybe Billy, Havent seen him in a while.
I want to believe that all the primarchs are going to love Boy and become caring uncles once they get to Terra.
The one part I actually was interested in was when Ian described the insane Slaaneshi architecture, I’ve seen other better ways of writers doing buildings of Slaanesh but this was unique and one spot the sexual descriptions actually fit I’ll give him that.
Other than that OH MY GOD HELP.
oh my sides, this is briliant exchange
Congratulations, you got slaanashed
"come, boy let us find your sandwich. I shall tell you story's of my son's while you eat." And then Dorn just scoops the kid up and heads for the kitchen.
Ian Watson: writes awful book
No one:
Kubrick:”Who knows Ian? maybe this is my next movie.”
Worth noting that Kubrick hadn't read the book yet - he was asking Ian for a copy so he could see what it was all about.
@@Plotatothewondercat I guess that makes it understandable but still... I just have a feeling that a book this shitty would just radiate its god-awful writing into the surrounding environment...
Thank god he died
That voice sounded like Plinkett
@B(.Y.)BIES!! fair
Damn it, Ian Watson. You have corrupted Boy. Amazing that the Custodes haven’t done so a bit earlier, but that’s thanks Rogal.
It’s Rogal’s fault for not reading the book before giving it to Boy. This is the 40k equivalent to those parents who bought Call if Duty for their 10-year-olds. Except at least here the adults don’t have to listen to the VOIP.
I think they wanted too (except for Karstodes) but Dorn was always there ready to punch whoever got close
Jacob Schmidt Or in some cases aim the barrel of a shotgun.
If tts comes back, Dumpy Grimbo needs to be the leader of Votann.
*DUMPY GRIMBO*
D U M P Y G R I M B O
I'm just happy Decius is back and safe, he's a wholesome character in the darkness of 40K.
I liked the discrepancy between his public-speaking voice and his normal, scratchy voice, the latter signaling his disgust at something. That was a nice touch.
Wholesome?
...you DID see that one scene where he destroyed the throne room's roof with his hat, yes?
everyone gets exited sometimes
His soft "...what?" at Boy's description of the things that have happened to him and his friends and siblings was so powerful. Decius is awesome.
Suit? Fit.
Candles? Lit.
Pants? Shit.
Yep, it's Draco time.
Hotel?
Trivago!
@@marcospindola8078 not sure that the 41st millenium has trivago.
@@marcospindola8078 either way, they found a hotel.
@@indecisivecountdooku1340 who says they dont? Rogue Trader has a guy with a tattoo of the logo of the punk band Crass
3:40
“I am...sorry, boy.”
The voice acting in this video is so goddamn good.
I need art of Boy riding on Dadorable's shoulders while they enjoy sammiches. Someone make it happen.
@@shikatsu was thank you.
@@shikatsu that is perfect
@@Abbojnr where is it
@@thesittingacheroraptor7565 where's what?
@@Abbojnr the perfect thing
“Father…”
*”LORGAR!”*
“SHUT UP.”
you clowngoblns!
@@TheGoodLuc tube gremlins
*gremlin laugh*
I just had an interesting idea. A "Who is the Primarch?" short, where Magnus and co. get to find out who the Primarch of the Blood Ravens are. Cue Magnus spluttering and Man-peror laughing.
Up!
I'm sure the two Blood Ravens currently in the palace would want to be in on that one.
And then they....aquire Magnus
He already knows. listen to what he calls the two Blood Ravens he takes with him eventually.
“You... ARE the father!”
Did Boy ever get his chicken sandwich from Rogal? I need closure
You know Dorn is good for it. And Dorn being Dorn, Boy's sandwich will be fortified--with vitamins.
Clearly, the better story.
The sandwich is part of the first steps of the process to becoming an Imperial Fist (probably is now in this canon due to being shown to the Imperium through public voxcast)
@@Pink_Noodle Rogal's almost paternal concern for Boy has made it my headcanon that he eventually gets to be an Imperial Fist.
@@CharlesUrban it'll be the most nutritionally fortified, practical, satisfying sandwich in human history!
I like how, whenever Decius is disgusted by something, he reverts to his old voice
𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓬𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓲𝓪𝓻𝓬𝓱, 𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓮.
What's that font?
@@Weeb_Fox Math bold script qaz.wtf/u/convert.cgi?text=Manclesiarch%2C+Please
@@Weeb_Fox Math bold script
@@baconcatbug thank you.
@@baconcatbug More like *Man* bold script
Dorn and the Boi is quickly becoming my favorite duo
If you can draw make fan art of Dorn and Boi similar to the latest God of war game.
@@barrybend7189 I wish I could
Someone needs to work up a Dorn model with Boy and his vox-caster sitting on his shoulder. I would do it, but I cannot art.
Custodes writes a wizard fanfic about a buff, glistening magician named Harry Squatter
HARRY SQUATTER
To sell the joke.
Someone, somewhere.
Probably a teenage(average)wattpad user, or questionably unstable FF.net user, must now write the tales of harry squatter.
I expect perfectly created Garbage in the future.
@@warlerker Yessssss!
Give me 1 week and i will write a 40k word epic tale of Harry Squatter "The imaculately oiled boy who lived"
Muscle Wizard.
>40k setting
>hotel room
Blows my mind harder than the main character being an obvious mouthpiece for the author's sex madness.
Well, it can’t be all drudge and murder all the time, right? The Imperium has nobles and rich people and all that. But as far as I know, there’s not much tourism.
@@severalcakes3267 Or it could just be that Ian Watson was so busy going "ok, what sci-fi universe is there that I can use to fulfill my depraved kink and get away with it? ooh! This looks nice!" that he basically just skims the very basic top of the stack, and ignores the rest of the book.
After only reading the fucking prologue.
There are hotels in 40k.
As an example I will give you book number 4 (I think it was the fourth, the one with the weird world and the tyranid invasion) from the Ciaphas Cain series. In said book inquisitor Amberly Vail stays in a hotel, while she was disguising herself as the daughter of some noble family. Her entourage even used it as a base of operations, similar to how it is described here.
@@koetimoep
Bolter? Loaded
Deserter? executed
Heratic? Purged
Hotel? Trivago
@@severalcakes3267 I don’t know if this counts but people go on pilgrimage enough to shrine worlds as to make the ecclesiarchy open hotels of their own.
*Boy.*
Slams fist on table
*Yes.*
Lord Adorable is always right.
Ian Watson: *Jaq has a thing for Mel in a Gene-Stealer body, Ian goes into depth describing how much he wants that* ***gussy***, Mel apparently can* **only** *polymorph into a Gene-Stealer, overall displays his fetish for the things*
Me: Ok, what the hell even *is* a Gene-Stealer? I guess this is a good excuse to finally research the 'Nids a bit
*Quick Google Image Search Later*
***EMPEROR NO***
Yes.
Just be glad it was only an image. Their lore is worse. So much worse...
To be honest it only gets really bad when they are on the daemon world before is more like fascination with the morphing process
Uncanny completely wrong fascination but not quite arousal just yet
Shawn the Prawn how is it work than THAT
*my eyes are burning in these googles*
"Do they tell you to burn things?" -magnus the red
Crazy Uncle Magnus! I look forward to Magnus teaching Boy a few simple cantrips (much to Dorn's dismay) and advising him on how not to get bamboozled by Warp creatures.
Magnus doesn’t have his horns
@@CharlesUrban ok person in fireball distance.
@@barrybend7189 use fireball and only fireball
Just fireball
Just fireball
*just fireball*
The PlayStation Gamer *head nipples
Anyone realize that all the names in the first planet kind of sounds like things from Cold War Russia? Or the fact that the colors of the hive city would be a mildly accurate description of Moscow? Anyone notice that?
It's certainly on the nose, but yes; it makes more sense when you remember that in Cold War era literature some authors suggested that the Soviets and US would fight over colonizing the stars.
I figured this book probably started off as a (fairly ludicrous) cold war spy novel before Games Workshop contacted Ian Watson partway through through about writing a 40k novel, so he quickly rewrote the first part to be a 40k novel and then continued from there.
@@InfectiousFight ok but how does that explain the boob hills? Unless I'm remembering the cold war very differently.
@@OttoVonGarfield Ian Wattson was just writing about his own Cold War
@@bigpigeon2384 What, the one in his pants?