Explaining ORKS To My Girlfriend | Warhammer 40k Lore
Вставка
- Опубліковано 21 лис 2024
- This episode Ava teaches Kari about DA GREENEST BOYZ IN DA GALAXY: The Orks!
Support The Show:
Patreon: / numbskulls
Tip Jar: ko-fi.com/numb...
Merch: orchideight.co...
Use code: NUMBSKULLS for 10% off your Gamer Supps order: gamersupps.gg/...
Tumblr: www.tumblr.com...
Twitter: / _numbskulls_
Ava's Twitter: / avalynnedavies
Kari's Twitter: / karilynnedavies
Like our voices? We’re both professional voice actors! Check out our demos, samples of our work, and more on our professional voice over websites:
Ava: www.avaskull.com/
Kari: www.karilynned...
Shoutout to @jdcoolha and Alex, our "Um Actually" Guys.
#warhammer #warhammer40k #40k
Check out our new Merch over at: orchideight.com/collections/numb-skulls
Support us here: www.patreon.com/Numbskulls / ko-fi.com/numbskulls
your going to have to get your GF to listen to Warrior Tier's Orks - Justice for Yarrick. and if/once you do please record it
Bricky is such a chad honestly
@@ThundrfoxFax
TELL HER ABOUT THE BEAST!
Bricky helped out with the merch? A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.
The best explanation Ive heard for the Orks is “Take an Ork, drop him in a Walmart, he will go to the toy section, staple 3 Nerf guns together and it’ll shoot real bullets, because it’s a Shoota”
Eyy, Isander and Koda fan
Or the home deapo secson and we wud have the same thing
@@absolsama An ork in Home Depot is a horrifying prospect.
@@Khornecussion i know
Really makes me wonder if an effective way to combat the orks would be to teach them the laws of physics
Orks got souls. We know that when an Ork dies, they go back to the Great Green and wait for a chance to have 'anuvva go' in a new body. And if a Chaos god tries to take an Ork soul, Gork and Mork will clobber em.
I believe this like I 100% believe this
I always knew that Gork and Mork were the most benevolent gods in 40k.
This is insanely funny to me I’m just imagining the Ork gods to the be by far the strongest entity’s in Warhammer who can easily deal with the Chaos Gods but don’t really intervene because they are entertained way to much by their Orkrace fighting all around the galaxy
That gets funnier when you realize that a lot of Orks mistake Nurgle for Gork/Mork purely because they’re both green.
Which brings to mind the image of an Ork follower of Nurgle dying and then getting repeatedly slapped up side the head by Gork and Mork for confusing Nurgle for one of them.
@@philritter9042gork and mork are too busy fighting each other to fight chaos but when chaos goes “me want” gork and mork clobber them to kingdom come. Mork and gork are natural disaster, if emperor in 40k tries to fight gork and mork. Well some think emperor would win given that sigmar was able to go toe to toe with gorkamorka who is mork and gork when they are united into one being but emperor will probably be clobbered to bits given that he is basically a living skeleton
Orks in a depressurized space ship, is like when Wiley E Coyle runs off a cliff and is fine until he looks down.
I love the anecdote of two groups of orks meeting in space to do some “repairs”. One group had cobbled together space suits and the others didn’t. Every thing went well until someone said that you can’t breathe in space without a space suit. The group of orks without the space suits then all died
@@warkijiji4474 You're really not wrong...
Yes! Exactly
@@warkijiji4474SEE I WAS LOOKING FOR THAT STORY WHILE WE WERE WRITING THIS EPISODE and I couldn't find anything official
Wiley E Coyle is practically a mekboy stuck in a feeble body of a desert coyote...
Remember, the Orks don't think the Bad Moons have an unfair economic advantage because "any Ork who wants more teef can bash 'em out a badmoons mouf"
A group of orks were repairing a broken space ship, in open space without protective gear but weren’t suffocating or freezing to death. Then, an ork wearing a fish bowl as a helmet approached the group and said “Ya gits know that ya can’t breathe in space, roght?”
The helmetless orks then died. The end.
I bet someone told that fish bowl ork on purpose to fuck with the orks. 😂
Best part is how the hell did the other orks hear the git in the first place! Sound dont travel in space after all, unless you are a right proper git
@@sythrus it just does
@@sythrus they believed that they could hear each other if they spoke, regardless of if they were in space
@@Silkyfin_ (i am aware of this, just wanted to point it out lol)
The story with Yarriks eye is even more funny. Imperial intelligence reported back to Yarrik about all of the rumors about him that were spreading in the ork clans amongst them being that he was able to shoot lasers from his eyes and being actually unkillable. Yarrik in a stroke of genius decided to humor those rumors by replacing his artificial eye with a miniaturized laser which made even more orks believe in all of the rumors about him. This is also the reason why many people theorize that Yarrik cant actually die when fighting against the orks as orks collectively believe he is kind of a godlike figure with magical powers and that no ork is strong enough to beat him.
Those were the good days before the grimderp took the Orks by assault
@@jamie_d0g978 And the good days where Yarrick used to be alive
I hope Ghaz gets so pissed off about Bale eye getting krumped by Angron, that he leads his whole waaaauggh against him and gets his weird boys to do something terrible to him.
He died of old age almost entirely unacknowledged for his service in the Second and Third Armageddon Wars.
@@dashiellgillingham4579my headcanon is that they faked Garrick's death because they realized Ghaz would attack wherever he's stationed.
As a girlfriend whose boyfriend got me into warhammer and who now plays orks, I thoroughly approve
Ork boyz are best boyz
And another one joins the cult
Welcome aboard! And remember: Orkz is never beaten!
Waaughlcome
Surprisingly, almost every girl references the secret after knowing orks... 🤨
Everytime I hear or read the orks saying crumping I think of orks just break dancing on the battlefield
I NEED an Ork doing the toothless dance
I personally think you missed the most hilarious color in Ork color theory.
But i understand, you probably highlighted it in purple in your script.
purple's actually an old fan joke, not a canon thing. of course, nobody knows this, because the person who came up with it was wearing purple.
@@purpleisthesneakiestfair enough. More power to the 40k Fandom for the best memes.
But much like enough hyped up orks can fly a moon around space at the speed of light, I still choose to believe purple is da sneakiest color!
yeah but fan theories coming true cause enough people believe them is the orciest thing ever
@@purpleisthesneakiestactually it started as a fan joke but is now canon
@DishonoredRat Which just proves the Ork belief system works. X3
I love that she brings up gaslighting the Orks to become a all powerful being because that is an exact theory for why the emperor is still alive and so powerful. Also less we forget that Gazgoul hates chaos because they killed his best enemy Yarrick
how to explain orks, in short the only beings in 40k that are just living their best life
the only faction that living the best life
I'd argue the Harlequins are also living their best life.
They're free from Slanesh's horny soul drain. Their laughing God is still powerful and present, and they get to enjoy their lives as warrior theatre geeks & librarians.
Tau are pretty happy
@@Thommy2nalso they got the final joke to screw over slanesh lol
Exept the fact that they may or may not being mind f*cked by thier rulers, and is discovering more and more how dangerous and sucky the galaxy really is. Like the Dark Eldar exchange program they did, it did not exactly turn out great for the Tau, nor did they have any fun.
Fun fact: on the table top ork vehicles don't have any upper limit to how many you can put in....as long as you can fit an Ork in it can go in
You sure about that?
@@averykellogg3766 It was a 2nd edition rule, but yes. That used to be the rule.
Also if any models fell off the vehicle at any time, they resolved as if they'd actually fallen off the vehicle in the game.
When you said Ghazghkull is mentally old enough to feel depression, you forgot to mention the cause of it: Yarrick, his BEF, getting krumped by someone other than him.
While the sentiment is nice, as far as we are aware Gaz doesn't know about Yarrick yet
Yeah, by Angron. And now... Khorne will *Definitely* get his blood when Ghaz finds out where he's hiding.
Yep. Ghaz lost his Best Enemy, and must now live with the overwhelming sadness.
not true
I was hoping this would get brought up
To understand the orks, you only need know 3 things.
1) Krump
2) Dakka
3) WAAAAAGGGGHHHH!
Needs more choppa.
4) Gitz
squigs
5)GET DA LOOT BOYZ
@@evanlindsey1100 and shoota
Here’s some advice when dealing with orks… if you are confused, walk into your bathroom, look into your mirror, and say “orks” until you get it.
this works
YAHZ MEAN THE SHINY PLATE YAH GIT? Also instructions unclear, ended up summoning slanesh
Also: WAAAAAGH
That was the worst thing to do@@gatordragon6140
This is way too good lmao
My favorite story about orks that I heard was “imperial guards were in a trench and out of ammo and orks were coming but the imperial guard aimed over the trenches with their fingers made like guns (yes a literal finger gun) and started saying *bang* and because the orks believed they were being shot at, they actually were!” GOD I love warhammer and it’s amazing ridiculousness
The follow up was hysterical. In the distance, enough orks got together and were resisting the finger guns. As they got closer, they would hear the repeated chanting of these huddled up orks going “I’M A TANK!”
that's actually memelore, but it's so perfectly stupid that I understand why people think its canon
Listen I think they could get 1 fake shot off by pretending to fire they're lasguns then the orks either see that they didn't fire and just krump em or see that an ork dies and they have just have ammo now
So Ghazkull isn’t in a Mech, he’s got a body under there, it’s a suit of Mega Armour. But recently he had his head cut off (a second time) by Ragnar Blackmane and a Painboy made a super Frankenstein ork body and attached Ghazs head to that. So he is actually right now dealing with a shrunken head situation on a giant franken body inside an even bigger suit of mega armour.
Love that
And he constantly growing because Orks believe he is da biggest
"Is Peach Their Ruler?"
I think I know how I'm going to paint my Orks now. That, and Super Mario is now RADICALLY DIFFERENT to me.
Ork find the super Mario games and start believing they are the toads
Goomba squigs, let’s go!
@@patrickdixon3512NO! Do you have any idea how horrible that would sound like? Toads with a british football hooligan accent
@@Nabekukka let it happened let gooooo
We need a short story of the Blood Ravems, Death Skulls and Trazyn trying to steal the same thing and all the slapstick that ensues.
*THIS COMMENT WAS STOLEN BY SAVLAR CHEMODOGS*
Trazyn would win. When he wants something, he gets it. We're talking about a guy who threw a cursed bell into the webway just to troll people, and because it messed up part of his collection.
But you see... The Blood Ravens have plot armour when it comes to looting :P @@zebrion5793 ((I know in practice you would be correct, but shinanigans can change anything ;) ))
@@zebrion5793"fuck this thing, I'll let the knife-ears deal with this one"
@@omoriperocondrip9130 People sleep on Trazyn. He may be a troll, but when he takes a side, he gets stuff done. People forget that he has literal pocket armies of every faction that he can just throw out on a battlefield at any time. He has whole battles frozen in time and he goes in there and rearranges the people like a damn toy set.
I think in one of the books it's mentioned that he has a hive fleet splinter trapped. Not to mention, he's probably one of the few necrons in the galaxy that could access the Celestial Orrery (basically a real time galaxy map where you can tap on a star and make it go supernova).
"What do you know about orks my love?"
"MUSHROOM"
Truly the best answer of our time
My favorite thing about Ork's is they actually feel really bad for humans.
Cause humies are all the same size see? So they don't know who's da boss, they gotta go around with shiny metal on their jacket saying "Oi I gots an idea". Poor humies.
They like humans. Their best ideas they got from humans.
All the Emperor talk... then orkz see a Titan and go...we need one o those! Thus Gargants were born.
@@Nempo13
I love that during the Golden Age of humanity, humans were the only species Orks refused to fight. The battles were so fast and completely one-sided that the Orks just weren't having any fun.
The vibe of Orks is geneally "Me and the boys at three a.m in a dennys parking lot".
DA BOYZ
THA BOYZ
So Yarrick's eye originally couldn't shoot lasers... But after hearing this rumor circulating through the Orks, he had his eye upgraded to incorporate a Laspistol so that it COULD shoot lasers
I for one am here for the Fungal Kingdom puns. "Shroom with a view." "Air portabello" 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣
The "SHINJI, GET IN THE ZOGGIN' ROBOT" cut was pure perfection.
GET IN THE ZOGGIN' DEFF DREAD, SHINJI
23:47 for eqsy referring
@@cxfxcdudeHERO
Ghazghkull is evil Goku. Gets excited to fight strong enemies again, gets stronger every time he fights, and has a little bald friend who follows him around and keeps dying.
>evil
Humie hands typed this post.
I had a blast learning all about Orks, Gretchins, Squigs, and all the truffle they get themselves into! I hope everyone listening had just as mush fun ❤️🍄
This series is what I'm gonna point people to when they wanna learn about 40k lmao
Heh. 'Truffle.'
It's not very good for information
@@djhunstigerthat one's not real
Do you really love trains? lol
I love the image of Khorne sitting there, watching his domain, start to hear the faint sound of “….waaaaaAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!”, look up, see a (from his perspective) tiny ship pop out of the warp (still screaming) and think, “The hell…?” 😂🤩
What he missed on telling her about Tuska. Is Tuska managed to completely destroy SEVERAL Chaos Worlds. He eventually landed on a Khorne world where the planet was fleshy. There was nothing to kill so Tuska made his warband shoot the planet...cause the planet was bleeding from it. This made the daemons appear which made the Orkz happy and started to fight. Tuska's warband lost this fight, but as Tuska was on the ground he looked at the daemon prince standing over him and punched the daemon prince in the crotch, grabbed that crotch with his POWER CLAW and ripped the whole area off the daemon prince. This killed the daemon prince as Tuska died. Khorne thought this was HILARIOUS and resurected the entire war band on the home world Khorne's throne is on to allow the orks to fight his daemons. This annoyed the shit out of Khorne's daemon generals. The ork refuse to acknowledge Khorne, continue to shout out to Gork and Mork, and every day Khorne brings the orkz back from the dead to fight again because he finds them hilarious. Tuska and his boiz found Valhalla as far as they are concerned while Khorne's own daemons feel like they are in hell because the ork warband keeps getting better at killing daemons and several prominent daemon generals have been killed and never ressurected because Khorne didn't think they were worthy...in spite of them being some of his best generals lol.
Orcs are just fun. Which is what 40k is ultimately about
Also, Beast Wars was off the rails stupid and I love everything about it
Edit: Purple makes orcs invisible. Have you ever seen a purple orc? That's right
I have never played 40k. But i always thought that would be the best excuse for new players to try orcs without needing all the models.
Buy the bases, label them the units, and just say they are painted purple, done.
I'm not very good at Warhammer lore because it's vast and complicated but from what I understand the reason Ork stuff "just works" is that they're incredibly strong natural psionics. They also sort of network together so the more Orks there are, the more they warp reality around them. That's why it doesn't matter what one Ork believes, but if they all believe it, it just works.
Fun fact about ork camo that tells you a lot about the ork mindset:
Since camouflage is good, more camouflage has obviously got to be better. And since camouflage is based on the enemy seeing the camouflage's colours instead of yours, the effect can be improved by using clashing colours so the enemy can see how well-camouflaged you are from farther away!
i just love the theory that emperor is still "alive" on the throne because orks didn't hear about his death yet :D
You're the luckiest guy in the world. Her puns are heavenly.
Agreed, but she needs to use them more sporingly.
When you find someone with such a strong fungal pun game, you know they're a keeper
You could say she is a champignon of puns
^This. He's a lucky, lucky man.
I am personally driven crazy and can't stand such an onslaught of mediocre puns. But definitely see the appeal
I’m new to 40k but I think this is how the “belief becomes reality” thing works. It’s less about what they choose to believe and more about what makes sense to them. They don’t know they have the ability to do pretty much anything, and are just doing things according to how they believe the world works.
So an ork can’t just say “I can fly now” and start flying because it knows that orks can’t fly. But it does know that a lot of other things that can’t fly like humies make metal things that can. “Therefore, if I start stapling together metal bits and bobs, orks will be able to fly in flying machines”. And after loosely stapling a bunch of junkyard crap together, the machine will fly because that’s what makes sense to the ork that built it.
For Emperor’s sake, don’t you ever let that woman get away from you. Her puns are perfect and her timing is amazing.
Agreed. Hold on to that woman and never let go.
Better pray to Astleys spirit to embody his doctrines to never give her up, never let her down, never run around and desert her. You’re really gonna need to pull from the depths of your soul to never make her cry, never tell her goodbye, and to never lie and hurt her.
An Example of an Ork's Mind Shenanigans I've heard of was that a group of Imperial Guards were being overrun by some Orks and had run out of Ammo, so the Guards aim their empty guns at the Orks and shouted "Bang!" The Orks seeing the guns and hearing the sound, thought that the guns were loaded and where then shot to death by bullets their just imagined into existence.
It makes sense. They don't care for slaughter, they want a _fight!_
Little correction there: Ghazkull being decapitated happened much, much later. That just kinda happened at one point, I think he was fighting an Astartes Chaptermaster or something at the time.
The thing that started his story was him taking a bolter round straight to the head and somehow not instantly dying. The Boyz around him brought him to a Doc and whilst the Doc was busy scooping Ghazkulls brains back together, he had a vision of Gork and Mork which basically led to him starting his waaagh.
I think he got chopped by Ragnar Blackmane? He’s not the Chapter Master but he’s a pretty senior Space Wolf.
Also he isnt a mech at first he still had an ork body
@@rustkarl He did, and then he got so pissed that it wasn't a primarch that killed him that he decided not to die.
@@bengonzalez5215 He was never put in a mech body. Mad Dok Grotsnik stitched together a new bigger body for him out of donated parts. He is wearing big mega armor as befits a Waaagh! boss of his stature.
Best part is after being decapitated and being put on a newly built body the heart in the new body was provided by another ork 'for da boss' and then because the donor heart was crushed up they also put a diesel engine in his chest. Because Doc grotznik said it would work.
Something about Orks and Space Marines is that while they are usually their favorite enemies to fight with, the smarter orks actually pity the beakies because they noticed that while boys fight for fun, the marines do so out of hate, and thus are unable to savor the joy of krumpin'
Gork and Mork. One’s cunnin yet brutal, the other brutal yet cunnin
Q: but who's Gork and who's Mork?
A: Yes.
One cannot exist without the other.
Gork is regular tactics, Mork is the one with purple orcs
@@38procentkrytyk yes cause who they gon fight
One stabs you in the back, and if it does not work, pummels you to death.
The other trys to pummel you to death and if this does not work, stabs you in the back.
Got that from another 40k lore channel, and i think it paints a little clearer picture.
I believe the way that Makari’s resurrections work is that whenever Makari dies, Gaz goes up to some Gretchen, points at it and says “your Makari now” and all of Makari’s memories fill the Gretchen’s mind
To note; Waagh was once described as 'a cross between a pub crawl and a holy war.'
In the old Orks Codex, Weirdboyz are described sympathetically, 'guided' by burly bodyguards, picked up, held and pointed towards A Thing, and then the Weirdboy, unable to hold back psychic energy gained from other Orkz, literally vomits a beam of psychic power. At least the poor lad feels better, unless they end up enjoying vomiting raw 'cast fist' too much. About as stable as you'd expect with anything Orks do.
'eadpop is indeed a cannon chain reaction from a miscast
I miss the old lore that Weirdboyz needed minderz to drag them into battle whereas older Warpheadz needed minderz to hold them back.
@@chrism7395 Yeah, it goes from 'oh the poor lad' to 'oh hell he got loose again.'
@@robrib2682 'Eadbanger*
@@DiakosDelvin I thought that was the old retconned ork rock bands
THE PUNS!!! Love it. I've always been somewhat fascinated by 40k lore, but haven't ever really taken a dive into it. I'm about to watch all of your videos explaining to your girlfriend about it because I love yalls energy!
I can't believe you forgot to mention that Gaz redirected his entire WAAAHG! to the Eye of Terror because Angron killed Yarrick.
Khorn: *sees Tuska fighting daemons*
"This is the funniest shit I've seen in eons"
The story of Yarrick's laser eye: After he ripped off the Ork's arm and took it as his own, the Orks started spreading rumors and tall tales about how impressive he was including that he could kill orks with just a look. Yarrick heard this, found it amusing and decided to have a laser-eye put in.
No he didn’t find it amusing. He realized he could take advantage of the Orks superstitious nature and had the eye put in so the rumors would only gain credibility and the Orks would boost his power as a result.
Not only that, but Yarrick's power klaw only works because Orks believe it so. His laser eye is described to be mostly decorative, but when used against orks, it becomes absolute horde clearer, just because orks believe so.
Orcs open the windows in a spaceship for a drive by. That's all you have to know.
To my knowledge the Orks power of belief is even funnier than how you described. Simply because while their power is usually limited to just Orks, when you have enough of them gathered in one place it starts effecting EVERYONE. So in theory if you had enough orks on a ship and depresurrized it without them noticing any humans on board would likely still be able to breathe just fine. They would prolly just be very confused as to why the 0 pressure ship has oxygen in it still
Remember that one story about a guard regiment running out of ammo and just making laser noises and absolutely slaying the orks......"Ima tank, ima tank, ima tank........)
@@justinbruck9602 That's a fan story, but I believe it fits in spirit.
@@Bobogdan258 But enough of us believe, dat meks it cannon
Not really it doesn't work like that but its funny
Aye, it makes the Ork Gestalt a little more insideous honestly, and the Orks are far more competent than the memes would have you believe.
It doesn’t make a box full of bullets function as a gun, for instance. Give the orks some credit here, they _know_ how ta make a good shoota. However, it _does_ make sure those parts don’t get rattled apart by the recoil.
It doesn’t make a truk run without gas just because the crew running it says so… but it’ll run if da boyz iz all movin out! 1000 broken trukz will run like a dream if there’s 10000 trukz full of boyz being told “Da bozz sez move out!”
In essence, the Orks are still competent enough to make war machines. The Gestalt just smooths over the bits that would ordinarily make their weapons and gear stop functioning under duress.
Can't believe you didn't mention Kaptin Bludflagg, the Ork Freeboota in Dawn of War 2: Redemption who started a Waaagh to get an Inquisitor's hat
Fun fact: Ghaz can reincarnate Makari on command and has even reincarnated him accidentally by being sarcastic.
It was to placate Bullets wasn’t it? Not just sarcastically
"Anything I don't do now, I do later. But later doesn't exist." I HAVE NEVER HEARD MY NEURODIVERGENT BRAIN SUMMED UP SO PERFECTLY AHAHAHAHA
Later it will be now.
This stinks of "not like other girls" energy
@@ArgentLeftovers You stink of "cat piss" energy
@@ArgentLeftovers It stinks of ADHD and you stink of shithead
@@ArgentLeftoversAnd you just stink
The reason why the Ultramarines are so numerous and "good" at fighting is cuz the orkz believe blue is the luckiest color.
I think that of all the space marine chapters the Bloody Boyz err I mean the Blood angels come closest to fighting like propper orks. They fight up close, the ones in black (Death company) hit hardest and they have red vehicles that actually go faster. (Ball engines.)
Yea but the salamanders would be even better since they wear green and green is da best color
@@Silkyfin_ But that's why they're the nicest (best) boys
Dark Angels are green too, but not as much, and they're all secretive and shroud themselves
@@Maxisamo1that’s cause they don’t only wear green they also wear black white and other colors
It only works on orks, but that's still a good joke
Fun fact: there exists a snake bite warband that successfully "tamed" tyranids.
The warband fought of a entire tyranid fleet and the boss did the scariest thing a ork could do.
Get a logical, smart idea through common sense (for the most part)
The warboss saw the tyranids reproduce with fights like orks (but in a diffrent manner) and used the long lost taboo art of math and came up with this formula.
Bugz = krump
Mor bugz = WAAAGH
Bugz + krump = more bugz = WAAGH
Bugz + krump + the boyz = EVEN MORE WAAAGH
So the warboss captured the surviving tyranids to use as attack dogs so the planet was forced to fight both at once. And once the original opponents are gone the tyranids would have multiplied which leads to more krump for the orks. Then the orks would krump the tyranids, capture the last ones and repeat all over again.
Orks are stupid but when they aren't? This shit happens.
One of the best stories I heard about orks, and i don't know if this was in an official book or not, is about a group of guardsmen surrounded by orks.
They had been fighting for ages, and their lasguns had ran out of charges. With no way to get supplies and completely surrounded, they were about to give up when their sergeant suddenly just points his empty lasgun at a charging ork and yells "BANG!".
To everyone's shock, the ork just fell over dead. Confused but desperate, the guardsmen just started pointing their empty guns at the orks and yelled BANG, and every time they did, an ork would fall over dead.
Things seemed to be turning around for them, till they saw a group of orks standing real close together and getting closer. So they tried the same trick, pointing their guns and yelling BANG, but nothing happened. They kept trying and it didn't seem to stop these particular orks. And as the orks got closer, the guardsmen could start to make out that the orks were chanting "I'm a tank I'm a tank I'm a tank".
A less funny, but cannon example is from the book Xenology, where a Magos Biologis gave a captured ork a box of trash. Somehow the ork managed to make a working gun from it. After the ork was killed by automated guns in it's cell, the Magos took apart the gun it had made, and found a loose spring, a length of string, and an apple core where the gun's workings should have been.
That's been a common military joke for decades. Longer than the Orks have been around.
so if saying BANG doesn't work, does saying BOOM work?
I remember a story about orks that goes like this:
A group of orks steal a tank from the imperium during a battle
Guardsmen shoots the engine and the tank doesn't work anymore
The mekoy in the group takes the broken engine and says: Wait here, i'll be back
Some time later the mekboy comes back with something covered with a sheet
The mekboy slaps that something in the engine slot and the tank springs back into action like if the engine has never been shot
After a while the group of orks is killed and the commisar that fought with those orks is intrigued about that something that mekboy slapped in the engine slot
Turns out that something is a cardboard box with some metal scraps glued over it and onthe box is written *WROOM WROOM!* badly
The whole thing with orc power - ancient ones modified them, so that orks can subconciously use warp powers to change reality around them. Using those odd properties, they can build stupid, impossible vehicles, AND spaceships. Also, thier power doesnt only affect orks - It also works on EVERYTHING around them. Like, red means fast - this means when orks fight Blood Ravens, THEY BOTH get SUPER FAST. Or other case - imperial guard ran out of ammo, while fighting orks. Their Commisar got this stupid idea, he put away his gun, pulled finger in a gun shape, turned towards orks and shouted "BANG BANG". Than orks died. He instructed other guardsmen to do the same, and they all started killing orks with fingers, shouting "BANG BANG". But than orks stopped dropping, bunched group of them started to approach. As the orks closed in, guardsmen started to hear repeated "im a tank, im a tank, im a tank"... Orks ;)
I love that the orks actually respect the Emperor and see him as a war god like Kratos, Mars, Tyr, Ares, etc. And that the orks call humans weird because they can’t understand why we would build such marvels or have such a vast empire but not use any of if for fighting.
Also I can’t believe you missed the two biggest orks in the setting; The Ullanor warlord who even the *Primarchs* had such a hard time with that Big E had to get directly involved. And The Beast and his Primorks during the War of the Beast. Who were all as big as dreadnoughts, and had weaponized literal moons. And that there still is a Krork alive and well in the 42nd millennium being held in Trazyns collection whose armor was the most advanced thing Fabious Bile had ever seen, abs he’s a 10,000+ year old dr Frankenstein so he’s seen it all. And I honestly *hope* it never gets out because the entire galaxy will be screwed if it does.
They also can't comprehend how we decide who is da boss since we're all tiny and squishy to them. Except maybe for the Blood Axes, they know that the 'umies with the shiniest bitz are usually in charge
Its smart enough to know everything about itself, so all it has to do is make itself bleed, run the blood down drains, cracks, other places that could grow a enough krorks, and not to mention weve never heard of a krork squig or gretchen, humans would see a krork gretchen and think its a massive yet slender normal ork with sus well made armour
@ eduardodiaz9942
I actually diasagree, it’s quite clear how humans choose who is da boss. As the orks say “da biggest ork is da boss!”
Guess who’s the biggest human? Guess who’s the boss?
Newbie here, who is The Beast?
@@calebleach7988 Take in count, Astartes encounters are relatively rare for the Orks, most of the time they fight the Imperial Guard
We need a Ork game about Tuska where we play as his warband, just obliterating Demon waves.
These two are a level of wholesome I can keep watching for days on loop
Well, I'm about 2 minutes in, and I've decided that if I ever get back into 40kTT, I'll build an ork army and make their command slot Princess Peach.
13:59 ok, so small point here: if the human picks up an Ork gun and attempts to fire it, it CAN work. As long as there are Orks around to be shot/believe it should fire. Commissar Cain led a group of humans around on a contested world, behind Ork lines, and used Ork vehicles and weapons.
Don’t know if the guns would work on a planet with no Orks, though
That depends on how many Orks believe there be humies running around, using their stuff. Yarrick has an Ork power klaw. it works because he beat a warboss to get it, so of course he can use a Power klaw.
Fink humie, Fink!
Not exactly. Ork tech is… functional, but so ramshackle in its material and construction, and also specifically tuned for Ork physical abilities, that a human firing their gun would break their arm and probably much more firing it, not to mention it’s liable to fall apart, jam, or explode, in any given order. It’s the ork gestalt that makes their stuff Usable to them.
You don’t really need an ork nearby to use their gun but good luck trying to have success with it.
C…C…C COMMISSAR CANE, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM.
One time humans managed to kill orks with finger guns.
I’m not even kidding look up the ‘I’m a tank story’
Just found your videos and you have become one of my favorite. Your gf is super adorable and it feels like she’s representing us who don’t know 40k lore, and that is probably why I like your contents more than other 40k lore channels.
Quick disclaimer: Filch was not a Professor. He was the janitor.
to be fair he was the only one at the school without magic
Professor of hygiene and sanitation in his own mind surely
When I listened back and realized I had said “professor” I was kicking myself a bit 😂
@@jacobthrasher987 He had a clean record.
@@jamesfreeman3617could madam pince use magic? The librarian
45:55 Storytime excerpt of my favorite Gahzgul moment. from the perspective of one Commissar Yarrick.
Orks are cartoon characters living in a grimdark science-fantasy universe, only being held back from what is essentially godhood by the notion common sense.
Case in point? Orks generally don't know how to count, so it's easy for them to lose track of how many bullets they've fired out of their gun. By that same token, they usually don't know how much ammo they put into the gun to start with, and the Ork concept of ammo is... broad, so they might literally be stuffing crayons and markers into their guns thinking they're just colorful ammo. Furthermore, Orks tend to be kind of scatterbrained, so they will often forget to actually load or reload their weapons, but that also means they will go into a fight fully believing that they have ammo ready to go. So, why would Orks ever need ammo or have to reload if they can just forget they need it and bend reality to fit that delusion? Well, an Ork is smart enough to know guns need ammo, so in the back of their mind they're always thinking 'Do I have any ammo left?', and every time they have a free moment to think that stray thought has a chance to assert itself, because that's just common sense, and there is a chance that the Ork's collective psychic power just isn't working at that specific moment in that specific area for that specific Ork because not all of the Orks are thinking 'I still have ammo' or there simply aren't enough Orks present to break the law of conservation of matter and energy with their latent psychic abilities. And because the Orks' ability to alter reality is based on the power of their collective belief, they have to be SMART ENOUGH to understand the universe around them and how it works on some level, because otherwise their collective stupidity wouldn't be able to bend reality enough to make their toy guns actually shoot bullets because they wouldn't actually understand what a gun is conceptually.
So in theory a modified servitor process to mind wipe them and insert beliefs with brain implants could accomplish targeted reality warping.
@@ffwast Depends on how much the Ork is modified in the process; Orks that fall to Chaos lose out on the power of the WAAAGH!!! field entirely.
Fun fact. In the Overfiend book, they do have a train.
The comment about loving trains and taking or leaving it... 😅
In a franchise so full of gloom and doom, the Orkz are such a breath of fresh air 😊
Honestly i think that the point of the orks. The problem with a lot of grim dark settings is they get too serious and as result end up depressing. The orks are a way to shift perspectives so the setting can make fun of itself.
Particularly large and difficult battle, orks will sometimes get reinforcements from across the stars because they 'heard' the orks in the fight yelling.
best ork lore is the stormboyz
rebellious young orks in a phase where they dont want to be chaotic and orky
so they march in formation, have commissars, polish their boots and stuff, do the humanlikethings
but they are still orks, so they want to fight, but marching in formation is slow so they dont get to the fight fast enough
so they have rocketbackpacks
the orks who strap a rocket to their backs arnt the speed freeks, but instead the organized disciplined orks compensating
The trick to mushroom puns, the core: deception. (cor-dyceps)
Sad that you didn't go into the various Oddboyz, like the Weirdboyz or Mekboyz - the idea that they just naturally know how to do their jobs because it's genetically engineered into them is something I always find fun.
and they just start to know more and more things the more orkz are in an area.
Don't forget the snotlings that make the gargant go. The war boss says turn so they make it turn.
You didnt talk about:
-the moon catapults or "rokz"
-the beast
-the octarius war
-the wretchen launcher
-the skig teleporter
-the speed waaaagh and the speedfreaks
-purple orks
-the red goblin
-the killa kan
-the deff dread
-gargants
-weird boyz
-mekboyz
-ullanor and armaggedon
Digga nobs too. I know they aren't actually Orks, but they are funny.
they did talk about purple orks you just didn't see it
Shrek is definitely in the Snakebite clan. Big, green, lives in a swamp, tames & breeds magical creatures (Donkey & Dragon), that sort of stuff.
My head cannon is the "believe it and its true" is something every race is capable of to some extent, the majority of humanity thinks if they pray to their guns they will work better and they do, sisters have just like "not died" because of their devout faith in a very old man on extreme life support, eldar accidentally will a god/demon into existence. The Orcs are just way better at it and also worse at it
Basically everyone in 40k has read the secret.
@@YukonWilleh They have all read The Secret, but disagree violently on what it means.
you are correct but all other species can only influence the warp with their collective thoughts. the orks are the only species that can directly influence reality this way which makes them so ridiculously effective at fighting and routinely pulling off reality defying feats like jumping a bike trough voidshields directly into the main control-room of a warlord titan or building things like mega gargants that defy any law of physics.
Any race that can have psykers can do it. Orks just happen to be engineered to not only be naturally psychic, but to also feed each other's psychic energy.
@@HouseLyrander is the WAAGH! even in the Warp?
I've seen it described as a whole 'nuther thing
You could probably destroy an entire ork world by capturing a handful, convincing them their guns don't actually work, maybe get some ogryns to bear the shit out of some orks then try to fire an ork gun. Once they see that, they'll start showing other orks they don't work until the memetic cascades to the point of there being an entire unarmed orc world
Kroks: "Hello good sir, we are here to eviscerate you. Erasing your existence from reality."
Orks: It's krumping time bois! Get them hummies!"
"Destroying angel ... Death caps", it's pretty much Shakespeare.
There’s 2 speeches of Ghazghkull I love, his speech of death and his speech of rebirth
*So this is death, is it? I've had worse.
I need not die. Not if I do not will it. My enemies did not die when I took their heads. Nor when I took them again. Not because they were tough. Because you did not will it. Because I did not will it.
Now, I wish for death. If I did not, I would not bear this wound.
But what comes next; this thing you have shown me... it is vast. It is great and violent and sacred. I will have it for myself. You showed me where to carve the path, and here, in this place, is where it narrows. This thin curtain, this death, is all that stands in my way.
How frail it is. I will tear it down. I will breach its gates, as I have breached every gate before me. I will tear down its walls, as I have torn down all walls.
But conquest has made my body strong. Too strong now, I see. The blood clings to my veins, and will not cool fast enough. It defies me. So I snarl, and my anger finds voice where I should have none. If my blood will not cool, then it will burn, and I will go to you in flames.
I am moved now. My head, held up by the hand of my enemy. It regards me, as it lifts my remains, and I regard it in turn. There is triumph on its face. This thing thinks it knows victory, in defeating me! It thinks it knows power. But for all the plate it wears, for all that has been done to make it into a thing of war, it is vermin. I study the bones beneath its skin. I see how its body is gnarled and swollen. How its whole self has been made, in the hope it might hold on to the stars in the name of a dead god. It is a vain hope. Those stars will burn green, in the end.
The vermin is dying, I see, even with such mild wounds. It is like a joke, I think, as it bears its feeble tusks. Like a poor copy of an ork, twisted together from the parts of a weaker beast. But you made us right the first time. Not even the primarchs, the peak of their dead god's work, could be as perfect as the lowest part of the Great Green.
The anger swells now, as the vermin holds my head up in the broken temple. And I think. That I had to die today... annoys me. But why could it not have been a primarch? That fight, I would have relished. I crave that fight. But I cannot have it, and it makes the embers of my anger glow white with rage. In time, it brings the thunder beneath the plating of my skull. I howl as it pounds down on me from my centre, and the world begins to come apart.
This is not death. Not yet. This is worse.
Lightning flashes where there is none. Shadows split into colours I have never seen before. I see corpses twist into the shape of fungus, and I see the stone walls breathe. I taste acid brightness, and hear the running of wild beasts in the dark. Suddenly there is bellowing and shouting, in voices I cannot understand. I do not know if they speak to me, or if they are speaking to someone else.
I am lost in the desert, with a shattered skull, and I do not know who, or what, I am.
I am afraid.
But then the voices speak at once, and I make sense of them at last. They are your voices. And when I know this, I can make words of them, as I have long learned to do. I seize your mighty voices in the storm, and listen.
YOU ARE THE WARLORD OF WARLORDS.
YOU ARE OUR PROPHET.
WE SPEAK THROUGH YOUR TUSKS
AND YOUR FISTS
AND YOUR HEAD.
YOU ARE GHAZGHKULL MAG URUK THRAKA,
AND WORLDS BURN IN YOUR BOOT PRINTS.
I hear you, now, and my self returns to me. The end is near. But I do not feel weak. I feel stronger than I have ever felt. Because beyond this, there is something new. Something terrible. Something perfect. My rage does not fade. But it has become bliss now. The bliss an ork should always feel. It is a shame that I did not get to fight a primarch. But I will, in time.
Darkness spreads on the smashed stone below. I know it is death coming. It feels like I look down on it from up in space. From the grin of Gork itself, with your eyes. I look down on my enemies, rushing to the side of their boss, but they are not worthy of your gaze. So I look past them. And through the smoke and the ruin, I see a great mass of green.
Orks upon orks upon orks, all looking at my head held high. They fall still. They think this is the end. But I have learned this is not true, and now I must teach them. Just as you arrive with the thunder, to remind me who I am when I am lost in the desert, I will remind them who they are.
It is why you put me on Urk, and why you lead me here. The orks had forgotten who they were. They had forgotten what they were made for. For so long they were only... existing. But orks were made to fight, and to win, and to make slaves of all they do not kill. Under my hand, they have remembered. Under me, they are living. I look out over the orks, and with the last of my strength, I break out into a grin. A great snarl of triumph, like the gash you've carved across the sky. So that they know they are winning.
That is all they need. If the hordes believes we're winning, we will keep winning. They will believe it, because I believe it. and I believe it, because you believe it in me.
Green fades to black, and I can barely see the orks now. But I can hear the shout that rises from their throats, as they see my victory. I will see them again soon. But then, a thought comes to me.
How am I to come back to the world?
I remember how it was, when I was lying there with my skull smashed. How I knew you would not help me, until I helped myself. That is how it has always been. I carry myself, and you make me stronger. But I cannot carry myself back from death. If your will is for me to return, but I am the instrument of your will, how will it be carried out? And waht will happen when I am gone. Doubts gather. They are like storm clouds in the fading light; the thudner comes again. But this time you are clear in it.
THERE ARE OTHERS.
YOU MUST TRUST TO THEM.
I squint at what I can still see of the world. There is Finds-Bullets-He-Has-Not-Lost, still with me after all this time. They are sawing and enemy apart with their great chain-choppa. They are roaring my name. As is proper. But there, nearby, is Snazdakka, once warlord of the Bad Moons on Urk. They are eyeing up the Deathskull, already calculating their odds of seizing power, now I am gone.
I have spent this whole existence beating the heads of orks together, so that they fight in one direction. Without my will to enforce that, surely they will set on eachother. Everything I have made will fall apart. Maybe, I wonder, I have not done enough.
Again, I feel the edges of the thing I have come to know is fear. Ghazghkull, the most powerful ork there is, is going to die afraid.
NO, HE IS NOT.
WE SAID, THERE ARE OTHERS.
THINK HARDER.
LOOK CLOSER.
I do as you ask. And in the last circle of the world that has not turned black, I see something I did not see before. It is something small and green. It is Makari, my pathetic banner-waver. Or, it is their head. That is surprising.
Makari is dying. But Makari always comes back. And although I would never speak this to an ork, Makari always knows the right thing to do.
Vision is gone now. My thoughts grow slower. Even the anger fades. But I will die fighting. Because you have asked me to put my trust in someone who is not myself. You have asked me to trust a creature you made to be unworthy of trust. And which, at this moment, is dead. It is the hardest battle I have ever fought.
It is a battle I win. Because I am Ghazghkull, and I never lose. But as the black begins to sink away into a much deeper green, a final doubt comes to me.
Makari always comes back. But it is me who brings them back, by the granting of their name.
If I am not there, who will find Makari*
(Takes place during his resurrection)
…it begins in white…I am cold…the wind howls…I am beneath ground…I wonder if I had failed you…have you sent me back for another go and get it right this time…will I rip the tongue from the beast you send and walk through the storm again….will I have my brains torn out again so all that remains is the sounds of your voices…must I do it all again I wonder…I will of I need to…but then I smell hot metal and burned flesh…I did not smell this the first time…I feel my skin…it is burning slothing through my flesh inside a shell of forged hot iron…This is good…I feel the ground quake and I think it’s the impact of your mighty green foot…until the boom comes again and again…it is the beat of my heart and it thunders, blood surges through into my limbs carrying with it the ecstasy of your violence. This spills from gashes and rivet holes and quenches my seared flesh in clouds of steam, I feel life in my bones again! Deep and green and wrathful as your divine spores spreads their tendrils. Your voices deafen me beneath the metal that binds my skull, but where it once agony…Now there’s only bliss! It is more than my head can hold though and so with my first breath I throw my head back and I roar your Warcry for all the galaxy to hear. I feel cool air on my face, an immensity above me, I stand with a grinding drag joined bones and I hear steel scream and bolts crack as I free myself. Finally the sight of my one begins to return and I bare my fangs in joy because I realize now why you’ve chosen vision as the last of these gifts. The sun is beginning to rise over the shattered city of my enemies and I stand in its crater heart, dawn is coming but above me the night is still wild and black and infinite, the stars shine fierce laid out for me to plunder and every one of them shines GREEN! It’s the first thing I have ever found to be funny and so with my second breath…I LAUGH!!
The Orks are my favorite faction to play, and I don't care if I win or lose. In fact, I don't really play to win with the Orks, but to entertain my opponent. They are so fun that they steal the show in any match they're in. Their vehicles are ridiculous, as are a lot of their units. I love them. They're the only faction in the setting that's having loads of fun.
I literally found and binged all ur 40k vids today, and now you drop this, ive never been happier.
55:40 Yarrick learned that the orks believed he could kill them just by looking at them (because he would generally kill orks while they were standing stock-still in shock that the legendary Yarrick was so tiny) so he had his artificial eye modified to shoot lasers. I am not joking, this is a thing he did.
How the Ork belief work is that Ork naturally have a field of psychic energy around them. This field generally do nothing much for a single Ork. But as more Ork gather, the field power got stronger and like how the Warp can be influence by reality, reality can be influence by the Warp, thus this enormous psychic field generate from millions and billions of Orks forces reality to change. This mean that the more Orks believe in something, the more powerful that belief becomes and the more likely it could become reality due to their influence on the Warp. Weirdboyz exist to channel that psychic energy into psychic power.
Ork alone weak, ork together strong!
The 40K RPG rulebook had a rule just for Ork weapons: If handled by a ork, all the stats stays the same, if handled by a non-ork race the weapon gets the 'Unreliable quality' perk. Basically meaning it will jam an malfunction a lot more often.
Happy Thanksgiving and thank you for all of the Daka!
Love all the mushroom puns 😂
They are endless!
Orks are literally the 40k equivalent to hooligans.
Ere we go ere we go ere we go!
Just want to say thank you for making these. Not only are they really funny but as someone newer to Warhammer they are also really helpful
The puns are just top tier this time around, it's adorable.
Fun fact I remembered when they talked about the reds and one said “the faster pastor.”
There’s actually a somewhat talented racer, Layne Schranz, who is also a pastor and is jokingly called “the faster pastor.”
But the real question is “How fast does the faster pastor fast, and does he skip breakfast?”
10:35 if I had a cent for every time someone brings up "The Secret" when discussing Orks today, I would have 2 cents, which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice
This is a great series, one of the few channels I keep coming back to make sure I don't miss an episode. Keen for the next post, hopefully, sooner than later.
Fun fact! There are orks that worship Nurgle (on accident (?)) And Nurgle is totally okay with that!
They saw green and got confused
@@robrib2682 Yeah basically lol
Nurgle: *Sees Orks worshipping him unknowingly while killing masses of enemies.* Hmmm. *shrugs and goes back to making plagues*
The life cycle and way of reproductive multiplication is 100% in line with Grandfather Nurgle.
The funny thing about Gork and Mork is the fact that they are much, MUCH more powerful than the Chaos Gods, so much so that they would destroy the Chaos 4 if they weren't so busy fighting each other. Sometimes they come barreling through some Chaos God domain, wreck the whole place while fighting each other and the Chaos Gods can't really do anything about it because if Gork and Mork notice the god they will beat the shit out of him and wreck the place even more
that bricky art is perfect...
"What if they want to stop?"
One of the Ork's types of space ships is the Rok'. It's a big asteroid with guns and thrusters that will land on a planet falling star style and most Orks usually survive the landing XD
2:00 the peach joke almost made me spit out my drink LMAO 😂
Same! This is my headcanon from now on. :D
Love this entire series so far. Great explanations, you're both extremely likable and funny, and the drawings are just... The best. Keep it up! I WANT MOOOOAR
I’ve been hyped and waiting for this for so long!! Completely smashed it
15:20 the orks also have a belief that the universe is their heaven that they have been reborn into. They love fighting so much and it happens so much they think it's their eternal reward.
@Bricky is quietly becoming the youtube warhammer merch godfather and I am so proud.