If the Emperor had a Podcast - Episode 0: White Scars (Pilot)
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- Опубліковано 8 вер 2024
- I now have a PO Box!
Questions for future Q&A segments sent through the PO Box will be prioritized. If you want to send some stuff, that's totally fine too!
The address is the following:
Bruva Alfabusa
PO Box 76
Rynningsgatan 8
802 56 Gävle
Sweden
+++REMEMBER+++
If you send something, write down what name you'd like to be credited under if you make it into a video!
BOOKS COVERED:
Index Astartes I - (begins at 12:44 )
Codex: Space Marines - 3rd Edition - (begins at 34:45 )
Codex: Space Marines - 4th Edition - (begins at 37:00 )
Codex: Space Marines - 5th Edition - (begins at 38:55 )
Codex: Space Marines - 6th Edition - (begins at 47:40 )
Codex: Space Marines - 7th Edition - (begins at 1:05:05 )
Chapter Approved: Book of the Astronomican - (begins at 1:06:00 )
The Hunt for Voldorius - (begins at 01:14:50 )
___
Base Script/Story by: Alfabusa
Script Writers: Earndil, Nostalgia, Kiwi, Fresh, SuperAnchors
Script Editors: Earndil, Nostalgia, Fusion
StringStorm as Announcer
/ stringstorm
/ galiant609
SuperAnchors as Rogal Dorn
/ superanchors
TheLemonGrenade as Custodisi
/ thelemongrenade
Nostalgia as Boy
/ kaimanga12
Alfabusa as Wamuudes
/ alfabusa
___
My Patreon:
/ alfabusa
My PayPal Donations Page:
www.paypal.com...
My Twitter:
/ alfabusa
My Facebook:
/ alfabusa
___
This video is completely unofficial and is in no way endorsed by Games Workshop Limited. Adeptus Astartes, Blood Angels, Bloodquest, Cadian, Catachan, the Chaos devices, Cityfight, the Chaos logo, Citadel, Citadel Device, Codex, Daemonhunters, Dark Angels, Dark Eldar, 'Eavy Metal, Eldar, Eldar symbol devices, Eye of Terror, Fire Warrior, Forge World, Games Workshop, Games Workshop logo, Genestealer, Golden Demon, Gorkamorka, Great Unclean One, Inquisitor, the Inquisitor logo, the Inquisitor device, Inquisitor:Conspiracies, Keeper of Secrets, Khorne, Kroot, Lord of Change, Necron, Nurgle, Ork, Ork skull devices, Sisters of Battle, Slaanesh, Space Hulk, Space Marine, Space Marine chapters, Space Marine chapter logos, Tau, the Tau caste designations, Tyranid, Tyrannid, Tzeentch, Ultramarines, Warhammer, Warhammer 40k Device, White Dwarf, the White Dwarf logo, and all associated marks, names, races, race insignia, characters, vehicles, locations, units, illustrations and images from the Warhammer 40,000 universe are either ®, TM and/or © Copyright Games Workshop Ltd 2000-2012, variably registered in the UK and other countries around the world. Used without permission. No challenge to their status intended. All Rights Reserved to their respective owners.
Timecodes for the different segments:
Index Astartes I - (begins at 12:44 )
Codex: Space Marines - 3rd Edition - (begins at 34:45 )
Codex: Space Marines - 4th Edition - (begins at 37:00 )
Codex: Space Marines - 5th Edition - (begins at 38:55 )
Codex: Space Marines - 6th Edition - (begins at 47:40 )
Codex: Space Marines - 7th Edition - (begins at 1:05:05 )
Chapter Approved: Book of the Astronomican - (begins at 1:06:00 )
The Hunt for Voldorius - (begins at 01:14:50 )
Questions and Answers Segment - (Begins at 1:28:34 )
Alright, I already love it. Thanks Bruva.
SKIPS LISTS FOR THE EMPERORS PODCAST ARE *HERESY* !
Why not aDORNable?
słowiański Брат Oh yes, what would make you think otherwise?
Bruva Alfabusa Bruva, can you give us a Soundcloud or an RSS for these podcasts? I'd rather have a proper podcast feed, so I can listen to these, and I don't think I'm the only one.
All of them had profile pictures of themselves
Except rogal, he had a live feed 100% of the time.
wolvez28 hah!
*adornable
@Aiden Burbridge no, you see, when emperor uses tts his eye lights up.
@@KoteDarasuum does it I do not remember that ever being a thing unless you are confusing it with when he uses the projector?
@@caseywensnahan3543 ah i rewatched series, it was only a thing in the early to mid series but then they got rid of it.
As a Mongolian, this episode was like listening to history class mixed with sci-fi. I never realized how hilariously close Jaghatai's origins were to Chinggis Khaan's.
But how much land would you mongolians have conquered if you had motorbikes instead of horses?
Deaf Guardian all the land bruv
Enerel Erdenesaikhan
actually less. Bikes can't be fueled by grass, follow commands and reproduce by themselves... or have White Scars found a way around it once again?
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAN
After all, Mongolians didn't conquered Europe olny because they started fighting among each other
I love the idea that no citizen in the Imperium has heard anything from the emperor other than their basic indoctrination.
Then suddenly THIS starts being voxed to all of them, and this, the first thing they hear from what is essentially their god,
is him casually ranting randomly about trivial bullshit.
Like they all fall into a series in episode 43 and are expected to just understand things from context.
Nothing the Emperor talks of is trivial... unless he decree’s his utterances trivial. Then they are trivial until he tells us they are not again.
I get the emperor is upset about how uninformed the imperial citizens are, but to be fair that is the inquisition and ecclesiarchy's fault.
Oi meen dis beh whoi da orkz iz best,no need ta worry bout anyfing trivial cuz dey dumb af and only WAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH
Wait! What if this isn't just about telling them things? What if he also hopes that they will become confused/interested enough in what they hear that some of them will pursue knowledge on their own, or at least discuss it amongst themselves?
And if they express doubt, they will rightly be smacked around for their disobedience. The indoctrination hasn't exactly ceased; it just serves a new purpose now.
For anyone that is interested:
The name of the White Scars legion prior to its reunion with its Primarch was the "Star Hunters".
Makes sense since they operated in the front of the crusade.
Thank Emperor they changed the name
I think all/most of the legions had names before meeting their Primarch. Except the legions who's Primarch were found quickly.
@@azathoththe3rdImperial Fists being a notable but rare exception
"You cannot make tanks fast. Tanks do not eat food in the first place." *WAS THAT A JOKE, ROGAL???*
Well, it's heavily implied that Rogal just trolls everyone half of time.
Yes and no
We may never truly know the answer to that.
Hah, I just got that.
This is Rogal Dorn, the man who's idea of a joke is reality(and to be fair he's not *that* wrong).
Thought for the day: "you" has three letters, "damnation" has nine. "You are always six letters from damnation" holds doubly true.
Nova Solarius It also works if you change “letters” to “words”. Triply true.
H E R E S Y
Heresy also has 6 letters
Oh Emperor.
This episode made my mind explode. The Emperor needs - NEEDS - to introduce the White Scars to Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker. That way we can have... Children's card games on motorcycles.
gomer177809
Omg
You mean Yu-Gi-Oh 5D's
CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES!
@@Egalitariat-likesecretariat CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES?
Baby jaghatai while in a jar, "I wish I could go fast."
Tzeentch,"Well hot-diggity-dog I got the place for you!" * laughs in backward snorting*
A golden comment, my head-canon from now on.
*YEETS pod into the warp*
Tzeentch: *tf2 spy noises*
Isn't what General Ulysses Grant said when the union was on victory streak during the civil war
@@marseldagistani1989 Yeeeeeeees.
Dear emperor I have genetically engineered 20 cabbages and named them after the primarchs and it has just dawned on me that they might turn against me. so with your experience with betrayal how do i stop this from happening
LOL
eat them before they eat you.
- not a chaos marine.
ben Hause So... Did you just tagged a "redacted" in two of then?
Paint a traffic pylon to look like a necron antiwarp monolith and place it near the cabbages
Kill Lorgar the Cabbage and his legion of vegetables. Then the others should accept their fate of being your salad silently.
Boy is actually doing pretty good, considering he is surrounded by two half naked Custodes while standing infront of the Emperor for long extended periods of time, its a wonder he doesn't suffocate on his own breath.
Rogal Dorn's laughter can cure cancer. 23:55 Just listen to his nearly breaking composure, magical.
Remember this is Dorn we are dealing with here. That wasnt him "nearly breaking composure" that was his equivalent of doubled over on the floor, unable to breath laughter.
@@daltonbecker4494 then what would be the equivalent of doubling over on the floor and being unable to breath with laughter?
@@lordofshades9852 Couldn't tell you, it's totally imagineable.
@@daltonbecker4494 Not even Cegorach could comprehend such laughter
"I've only seen Lorgar do that" is the best meme, Lord Adorable.
Freez it’s hilarious yet somewhat disgusting if you consider that he had SEEN it. Unless Lorgar just boasted about it, which is still weird but from what I’ve heard of Lorgar, he’s nuts
Nicole Diaz
In many different ways.
@@Air_Serpent with how literal Dorn is I'm pretty sure he has actually seen it.
It is best not to overuse the joke.
Lord Adorable: It is impossible to overuse the phrase. It is not a joke when I recall something Lorgar has done.
Shouldn't it be fulgrim not lorgar?
The idea that the White Scars live on a Tomb World and it hasn't come up simply because they nonchalantly slaughter the Necrons and use their incredibly valuable corpse materials to coat heads on pikes is really fucking funny.
My favorite exchange in this entire series:
"I do not believe an ork could possibly have been allowed to take a step on Terra's soil again, my master."
"What do you mean 'again'?"
"Myes, squad Glaresis? Would you mind checking the skies to see if Terra has gotten a second moon again? Thank you."
"What are you talking about you lard bathed ecdysiasts?"
"do not worry sir."
"I am very worried."
Please give me a timestamp or video link, I NEED IT
@@lorenzooliveira1157 1:32:13 - the whole segment is hilarious
Tv tropes update!
Hello, 40k newbie here. What exactly happened?
@@GoomEternal Look up The Beast. Long story short, Orks invaded Terra circa M32. The Beast had an "Attack Moon" hence the joke about Holy Terra suddenly having two moons.
Just realized why he wanted to be called "adorable", it is because of the "adorable centurion". I cannot believe I missed this, I've seen this podcast so many times...
I mean... did you miss the first season?
@@dubious7424
It happens sometimes.
Imperial Fist - "Lord Hagen, sir!"
Chapter Master Vorn Hagen - "What is it, Marine?"
Fist - "We have received news from Holy Terra! Our Lord Dorn has returned!"
Vorn - "WHAT!? How can you confirm this?"
Fist - "A voxcast has been released."
Vorn - "Well, put it on!"
Rogal Dorn - "I am Adorable, and I like fudge."
Vorn - "..."
Fist - "..."
Vorn - "..."
Fist - "..."
Vorn - "Marine, I think it's time you had the Emperor's Peace."
Fist - "That's fair."
BLAM.
Scars: "Did someone say PACE"
The Emperor made it 9 minutes in without discovering the censor-horn. Impressive.
Especially considering that Big Emp is constantly feeling what Jesus felt in the gardens of Gethsemane, for the last 10000 years. Truly impressive.
TACO TUESDAY IS ON FRIDAY!
THE POWERS OF CHOAS PREVAIL!
I can see why Custodisi loves Magnus so much... prior to his DELETION!
TTS!Magnus is basically my hero.
TTSDMagnus is my spirit animal
TTS is better than the original
*H E R E S Y*
Incidentally, if the Emperor is kept alive with the Goblin Throne, that could arguably make him the Goblin King.
David Bowie confirmed as an incarnation of the Emperor!
Let’s be honest. David Bowie was Emps in one of his many lives.
Come on, Star Man?
@@DoctorProph3t well duh. Everyone knows that the star man was a star child
How to test if your headphones are crap or not:
Listen for Boy's breathing in the opening part of the podcast.
If you can hear it, your headphones are good.
I can hear his breathing and my headphones are just in-ear ones i got from Amazon for £8.
His breathing sounds like the kind made while sleeping.
@@fishpop Or when in game chat.. there's always one dude who breathes too loud
I still miss Kitten and the Emperor together ;v;
Casual Bird we all do
kitten is returning to Terra in EP:27
I cant wait
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
@@kingfranpetty
Look at that smiling man!
So sweet and innocent!
Why can't you all be like him!!!
The emperor should have Kitten's Tau lover brought to him as a way to try and draw Kitten and Magnus out.
@Erik the Red Canon*
This is not fucking canon
@@someguy669 Lockwarden disagrees.
“I have only seen Lorgar do such a thing after extensive genetic modification.”
Either you are besmirching the Golden One, or he did this to honor Slaanesh. One of those.
The true question is: why did Lorgar achieve self-fornication and not Fulgrim, the guy who decided to worship Slaanesh 24/7? Can anyone explain?
@@KyrieFortune maybe his time was spent by fornicating others and being fornicated by others.
@@everythingsgonnabealright8888 No one fornicates Fulgrim, after his ascension to daemonhood the laws of reality bend around him so that he is the one fucking each and every time, no matter if the sexual act requires him to be the submissive one.
The Golden One absolutely honors Slaanesh with his constant bare-chested flexing in every video he creates.
... wait, wrong Golden One.
@@KyrieFortune Because Fulgrim is the type of person to give you the best sex you've ever had and never call you again.
And not even the combined forces of the chaos gods can purge Lorgar's everlasting virginity
"Frick you."
- The Manly Man Emperor of Mankind
ua-cam.com/video/oYwL-FzFDKQ/v-deo.html
24:06
I want an Ork who becomes even more obsessed with collecting heads than White Scars. He goes on to begin collecting the heads of ships, aka the cockpits, which he mounts on giant sticks in the planets they attack. Eventually he learns of the giant skull ships the necrons had access to and goes on a whole crusade to find one, eventually also trying to take the heads of C’Tan cuz they’re pretty big too. He basically becomes the Necron equivalent of that Ork who got really good at killing daemons as a result
I support this.
also Tyranid hive ship skulls
I work as a Dishwasher in a Restaurant on a Pleasure World. What I do is not much, but I thank you for acknowledging the average Imperial citizen's work in preserving the Glorious Imperium!
Before I was a rogue psyker running from the various people trying to sacrifice me to an overconfident skeleton I was a chef. Trust me when I say that you should be valued more than almost anyone else in that kitchen
The Dorian Heresy spread like fire as it divided families, homes, Hive cities, and planets over the issue. Not only it did consume humanity, but it consumed the other species and even the chaos gods themselves.
Even the Tyranids, despite the fact they eat everything indiscriminately
And you filthy boot lickers still won't admit it is Taco Tuesday
I hate tacos. Therefore I shall not consume one regardless of the day.
Brothers , Sisters, fellow Citizens of the Imperium ..We've found a true heresy. Our difference must be put aside till this ...filthy xeno fucking heretic dies by our hands.
TheShadowwarrior80 it’s taco Tuesday because it rhymes and rolls off the tongue
“Was it fire-works induced” yes emps, Jaghatai Khan is Shan Yu from Mulan
Shan Yu a bitch
no. hes one of the khans from mongolia
@@alexanderleonardi3625 Chan Yu is a ruler's title of the Xiongnu Confederation. The term Khan did not exist then.
@@ElBandito did i ask for semantics, peasant?
Oh sweet Mork, they haven't told Emps about the War of the Beast yet.
Cue picture of Gork n' Mork pulling up a couple chairs and breaking out the fungus beer to watch Emp's reaction. Big E is going to be shitting out warpstorms for days. DAYS I tell you!
Internet Zen Master What happens in war of the beast?
TL;DR version:
The WAAAGH!!! of the Beast had the following happen to the (rather complacent) Imperium back in 32K:
-Catches Imperium off-guard with the largest, most technologically advanced WAAAAGH!!! seen in the lore so far. Their boyz are what we think of as Nobz and their Nobz are what we consider Warbosses by today's standards.
-Created Ork Attack Moons (think Attack Roks like Thraka, but moons and with more advanced weaponry than anything the Imperium's ever used)
-He parked one of said Moons over Terra, then sent down an *Ork diplomat* (Orks became so advanced under the Beast they apparently evolved a subset of Oddboyz just for diplomacy) who walked into the Senatorum and acted extremely civilized (the greenskin spoke Gothic as if it was his natural tongue iirc) compared to the squabbling High Lords of Terra.
-Said Ork diplomat gave the High Lords of Terra the following ultimatum:
"The Great Beast has you by the guts... Struggle, he’ll rip ’em out. Surrender, you get to keep ’em."
-When the High Lords were too stunned to respond beyond stuttering incoherently, the Ork diplomats repsonds with this rather ironic assessment of the Imperium:
"Useless,’ Bezhrak said. ‘Worse than snotlings.’ He looked at his fellows. ‘No reasoning with humans. Break ’em, kill ’em, eat ’em. That’s good. Don’t try to make ’em think. Can’t be done." (quoting directly from the Last Wall novel here)
-Seriously, the only reason the Beast didn't just order his boyz to crash the Ork Attack Moon into Terra and be done with it is because Terra's kinda needed in 41k.
-The Orks wiped out all of the Imperial Fists save 1 guy in the very first wave. This guy (when he's finally revived activated the Last Wall protocol, and got the Imperial Fist legion to reform to deal with the issue. (He's slaughtered later on, meaning the Orks have done more damage to the Imperium than Chaos, because the Orks actually wiped a founding chapter (their successors rebuild it out of their own members to keep up appearances though)
-Tens of unnamed Space Marine Chapters all gets slaughtered relatively simultaneously across the Imperium trying to fight off this WAAAAGH!!!
-Vulkan is found and brought to help kill the Beast. He fails, and gets killed (again) for his trouble.
-The WAAAAGH!!! field got so powerful that captured humans in its vicinity that they started turning into Diggaz worshiping the Beast as some sort of god-figure. The Orks apparently were okay with this since there were several instances of these humans being used as cannon fodder by the Orks.
Basically the War of the Beast was the Orks repeatedly stomping on the Imperium's neck with their boots until humanity pulled out a critical victory at the last second (because plot), and humanity getting the memo that "yeah, maybe demilitarization is a *bad idea* (they were considering this with regard to the Space Marines before the Beast came and wrecked their shit)". Without the War of the Beast to smack them out of complacency, Abaddon likely would've only needed 1 Black Crusade to destroy the Imperium.
The whole thing's played out in The Beast Arises novel series, the second-longest series (12 books long) published by Black Library after the Horus Heresy Novels.
Internet Zen Master I'm not adapt with 40k lore, does the war of beasts involve the orks somehow? If it does who was involved?
magoichi75 not sure if this is a joke or not. If not, yes it involved the Orks with "The Beast" being the Warboss of this WAAAGH!!! He was supposedly so big that they mistook him for a Stompa, aka a Ork mech. He was also extremely smart. Crazy smart, even by human standards. The war was fought between the Imperium of Man, with assistance from the Traitor Iron Warriors (yeah it got so bad they were okay with allying with a traitor legion.) against he Ork WAAAGH!!! Of The Beast. It ended with a victory on the Imperiums side, but it was BAAAAAAD.
The White Scar monastery is literally the Head Quarter of their planet
(because of all the heads on spikes, and the fact that their planet had a place called the Empty Quarter)
The White Scars were also called the Star Hunters before they reunited with Jaghatai.
@@robertnelson9599 Not .... Head Hunters?
What a missed opportunity!
I like this Adorable Imperial Fist. I shall wish to meet him next time I return to Terra.
I shall now forever eat Tacos on Tuesdays and Fridays as to not disappoint both Fathers.
Daddy Dorn, You're alive.
Shall I properly inform you on the states of your Sons? You will be interested in what has happened with both the Soul Drinkers and the Celestial Lions.
Over a taco dinner of course.
I still have no idea what a taco is we only eat nutrient paste or some other mre
Adorable Imperial Fist sounds like an entry-level sex toy/power weapon.
what about Fajita Friday. Fajita's are merely a second kind of taco and would bring about fun alliteration also
Cmckerracher what about fried chicken Sundays
I just noticed
28:16
Horus Heresy isn't censored
Maybe Rogal is so monotone the voxcaster didn't pick him up?
its not horus that was censored but fucking
@@MaxMustermann-mu7ww
No, if you listen during the part where he says "Fucking Horus", there's a second track of censor horns that starts after the one that censored "fucking". Horus' name is indeed censored there.
In this light, I assume that OP is right; the vox's censors are flawed, and weren't able to detect Rogal's pronunciation of "Horus".
Horus followed by Heresy isn't censored but Horus by itself is so you can't say things positive about Horus.
Even the censor doesn’t dare Rogal Dorn.
55:35
We also got an uncensored Khornate mention.
I'm honestly surprised that the white scars have never thought to replace dead nought legs with wheels are tank tracks or just mount them on a land raider or rhino so they too may once again go fast
Send this to GW. We need it to happen
I'm actually using something like this in a sci-fi tabletop rpg I'm playing, where the other players and I have agreed to homebrew statistics and such for references to various franchises. Specifically WH40K, Halo, Star Wars, and Alien. One of the things I'm making literally looks like a rhino with a rotatable tank turret on top except the turret looks like the upper portion of a dreadnought, plus a tank gun on the top just for more dakka.
Would make more sense that they'd use their crippled marines as the ones who serve as navigators and non combative stuff.
@@laurenkirby97 well... You can't exactly make navigators. So you'd have to wait till the Navigator got crippled before you made him do his jib
So I still intend for the fun of it to kitbash a dreadnought either riding a pair of them ala the Great Khan leaving the front gate of Terra, or waist down is pure speedy floaty landspeeder so I can deepstrike a fast dreadnought without firing a giant rock at a planet.
When Magnus comes back, do one on the blood Ravens, and talk about the theory that they descend from loyalist thousand son's.
And do one on the imperial guard and PDF groups.
And one on the custodes after kitten comes back.
And maybe have Corax for the idea they may be Raven guard foundlings
Blood Ravens? Lock the reliquary
To late.
Wait, Goblin throne?
Does that make the God-Emperor....Skarsnik?
The God-Emperor, Master of Mankind and Supreme Ruler of Eight Peaks.
Or possibly Jareth.
God dammit.
I fucking want a Fantasy version of TTS :(
The ruler of the eight peaks is Queek Headtaker
The MANperor, believing that our dear Manperor is of divine nature is heresy almost equal to belief of the taco Tuesday
Angus Dalrymple no.
Anyone else binge watching TTS after the announcement? Feels bad man, love ya Alfa
AY! I hope you enjoy this pilot for a new audio-based TTS series!
An entirely in-character "podcast" starring the characters of the series, discussing 40k lore in more depth than ever before.
Why does this exist? Well, I came up with a few reasons:
1. Animating shit takes a long time and I want something to fill the gap between episodes effectively.
2. Gives me a way to have the characters talk about more minor lore in 40k, especially the contents of different 40k books!
3. Fucking around with character chemistry.
4. Some people miss the early episodes where Kitten and Emps were doing nothing but talking, so I'm giving that crowd something to very similiar to chew on.
Since this is a pilot and there is a lot of room for improvement (if need be), I am totally open for constructive criticism!
As for the Q&A Segment, they will be a main staple of these "podcasts". Your question will be prioritized if it is sent to me through my new PO box, because I figure that'd be more fun and personal.
Only type of question higher up in priority is patrons, obviously. Otherwise, its primarily here in the UA-cam comments. If you throw questions at me anywhere else, I'll probably ignore them.
AGAIN, HOPE YOU ENJOY!
looks great!
I know that SOME people will like it, but I found the "boy" to be kinda annoying :/
Ok, video start with one minor problem - red letters on red background.
Yo Alfa, long time listener first time writer. Good idea.Keep this shit up
Bruva Alfabusa Amazing work! This is a really fun and new addition to the TTS story. It was perfect when watching but I found if I tried to leave and do something else the Emperor's voice could get a little bit lost, maybe just a little more volume or less echo on him would make this perfect =).
"What is a better word for marketable?"
"Tactically inept."
8:16
I literally can't tell how much of this is improv and how much is scripted.
all of it
Or canon.
Thats what makes it so good.
Noob Noob to quote Fyodor, all of it.
Yes
*I am adorable. And i like fudge*
*No, i was made to protect the goblin throne*
So much gold, that even the emperor must shield his skeletal eye.
The term "skeletal eye" is extremely self contradictory, I take psychic damage from it's existance.
"As father would say, - what an assortment of male genitalia."
"WHAT A SURPRISE. THE BOY CAN LEARN."
"I'm not an infant, I'm many years old".
What is the time stamp
59:13
"Head chaplain, his job is to mount heads on spikes" - this is truly hilarious
23:51 the fact that you can eve hear Dorn almost laugh makes this moment even better
34:03 omg another
41:54 Yey. Bureaucracy
Yey
5 years later and this particular spin off of the series is still my favorite thing to listen to while I paint minis or sleep.
The Adorable Heresy
Zachary Ramirez But he speaks the truth and thus will not be sanctioned
I guess Taco Tuesday.
Yes. This is funny to me.
x Told Me I Could Become Anything, So I became an Eggplant a
The Adornable Heresy? O:
Also I am improving the Codex so that Rogal can rate it above 6/10.
Primarch Roboute Guilliman
just copy Karskin and Catachan Devils manuals while making edits for extra options and better equipement
I'm not sure if your calling him by full name and title was you or youtube.
Rogal Dorn you're fucking fake, the real Rogal Dorn's account would be named "Adorable"
+Primarch Roboute Guilliman Your book is stupid brother. Accept it.
+Rogal Dorn This automatic function is ruining my day. Or does it?
We need to send the Emperor the Stories of the Black Templars so he will be proud of at least one living Astartes Chapter.
MS14JG-2 Don't send him the records of the Raptors, he doesn't need to know about the Raven Guard successor chapter that prefers to shoot the enemy and laying in ambush as well as using hit and run tactics, rather than going into melee..
MS14JG-2 not really hed probably be pissed at the whole you know extremely religious beliefs
No. Not the Shamed Sons of Dorn. Anyone but them, for not only has Dorn shamed their First Chapter Master, they also Believe the Emperor to be a God. I love my Brothers dearly yet this CANNOT happen.
Hey he'd be proud of the Lamenters.
PUUUURGIIIIIIN WITH MYYY KIIIIIIINNNNNNN
I have watched this like... 30 times now and I just got the “was it fireworks induced” referencing Mulan...
I just love how pissed Rogal Dorn got when the Soul Drinkers were brought up.
Douglass Whipple and the thing is apparently according to the Soul Drinkers Geneseed they aren't actually descendants of the Imperial Fists, they're likely descendants of Black Shields that survived the Horus Heresy and were adopted into the Imperial Fist Legion.
Shh. He, is, adorable.
Dor....Adorable never claimed they were his gene-sons. Only that they were under his heraldry.
Ah a sabaton fan?
@@InquisitorThomas Black Shields? You mean the Astartes who renounced or didn't know their Primarch? Like 99% of them became pirates.
When that little serf kid said, "What's a cho-azz?" I laughed so hard my sides hurt. I wasn't sold on this until then, now I am a fan forever.
"Choas is good."
~ The Man-Emperor of Mankind
Earthstar Review The Emperor has given into the way of the Ruinous Powers. Just as planned.
HERESY!
FUCKING HERETICS
"Did someone say *'JOINING CHOAS'??!* SMASH IT!"
Make them repent, Asmodai!
I love the idea of this absolute mess of an educational recording being sent out to all the citizens of the Imperium. It would *really* give them an idea about what the Imperium is actually like.
Even if this spinoff doesn't go far, the fact that you have a squad of talented people willing to sit down and do this nerdy stuff for the public is still pretty great. So glad I stumbled onto this channel.
Man, I don't even PLAY this game.
tomisabum neither do I but thanks to this series and 40k theories I have learnt a lot of the lore
Emperor,
Having been one of the few among my sisters who survived the alcohol induced coma from the news of your lack of divinity I have a substantial amount of time to ponder over what answers I would request of you. I have come to one conclusion above all others. As you say you are no god but a man I will be blunt, I would have an answer to a question that has plagued my mind particularly for some time now.
Surely, if you can share in the bad as well as the good, it would help us feel more connected to you on a real, human level. You claim to be the product of a "shortcut" taken by ancient Psykers to achieve the ultimate evolution of humanity, but does that not mean that at the end of the day you are still human? Should you not then feel the same guilt and doubt everyone feels? If so, I would know this:
Have you ever had any serious doubts as to your goals and aspirations? Has anything ever made you reconsider any of your grand designs for the Imperium and humanity as a whole? Has anyone ever made you think twice? Is there anything that could or has made the greatest of our species think that perhaps our species is not worth saving to begin with?
-Cantus Advance Lucael of the Adepta Sororitas
This is beautiful
"No. Next question."
I love how the Emperor actually dealt with this question in the next podcast.
Emperor: I'm gonna pretend I didn't see that.
This was so awesome! I'm glad yours got picked. It deserved it. It was well thought out, thoroughly entertaining, and an insightful question.
That...was surprisingly educating.
The Ashen Hunter I agree I love this
The Ashen Hunter and entertaining! Plainus...
"Flesh Over Steel"
Translation.
"Flesh is stronk, cyberdongs are gay"-Jaghatai Khan, M31
(I did not come up with this joke)
The Gorgon and the Khan never got along
Thanks Lord Adorable for explaining "The Emperor's Pace" Joke, I would had been lost without the explanation.
sahil singh it was hard to catch, as is fitting for a white scar joke.
@@nathanjora7627 we got some folks with jokes. I like it. Lol
I now honestly want a joke podcast which is to talk about the blood ravens and their exact origins, with the entire chapter sitting by a bond fire of burning orks. When the podcast gets to state exactly who their Primarch(daddy) is and they squeal in excitement, only for the last radio to be smashed by a chaos marine.
You then have Magnus & Kitten popping up from their teleport asking why this was not the home of holy Terra. With one broken/insane blood raven darting straight at Magnus crying and asking who is his Daddy. Only for them to teleport away again.
It would be also a good opportunity to talk about Azariah Kyras. I mean, he raises a LOT of question marks regarding 40k lore, first one being a sorcerer of KHORNE!
Actually, Khorne should be in the podcast to "talk" about that.
tbf he only used his powers nonoffensively like messing with Astropaths and Navigators in his path to turn the entire sector into a Blood Offering of Khorne. And on top of that he did become a Daemon Prince with Khorne's aesthetics.
Well Khorne doesn't dislike sorcerers just because they're sorcerers, the cowardly use of sorcery to avoid *_GLORIOUS FACE-TO-FACE MELEE COMBAT_* is the problem, and vast majority of them does that..
Fun fact, the novels revealed the Dawn of War II Force Commander's name to be Aramus.
TimmyTheNerd we don’t talk about them
(Why?)
Because the leper might hear
ULTRA RAPID DEPLOYMENT! EVERYTHING ULTRA FASTTTT!
Sandz Sactum pls i need a timestamp for that
Some Guy 30:26
2nd @39:51
3rd @48:15
FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAST
The Horus Heresy was secretly started when Lorgar convinced Horus to eat fish on Friday instead of Tacos.
By law in required eo say its FISH FRY FRIDAY!!!!!!!!
Clearly he had fish tacos, ao it cant have been that.
25:07 "HE MET HIS DEFEAT FASTER THAN JAGAHTAI DRIVES" i didn't even think that kinda speed was posible
Hah, same!
So does Rogal not know the fate of the soul drinkers? Someone has to tell him how badass they were.
He does not, nor does he know what what happened to the Celestial Lions it seems.
Yeah the soul drinkers kind weren't actually sons of dorn at all. Also they were getting manipulated by chaos the whole time
Jacob Knudson i think the inquisition goes after you now as you did not beep out the word *beeep*
Jacob Knudson choas*
apparently the Skost of Ferrus Manus announces transmission in the imperial palace
YOU ARE ALL WEEEEEEAAAK
You are weeeeeeaaak Rogal!
No.
Gianluca Cossu You are WEEEEEEEEAK Vulkan.
Oi! This zoggin git brudda of mine who I'd love so veery very much has cumma back for me!
YOU ARE WEEEEAAAK MAGNUS!
Magnus: AH!
News to me...
Yes Ferrus Manus I know.
Future plot twist, Boy is revealed to actually be Girl this whole time, but is absolutely fucking terrified to correct the Emperor, Lord Adorable and the well oiled Custodes.
that'd be a funny twist
boi better be a boy or *HE* is going to have a virus bomb for breakfast
The boy is alpharius you fools!
Oooh....and then he read ian watson
If Boy is revealed to be a girl, I'm unsubbing.
Did Rogal just started the Dornian Heresy because of Tacos?
Davian Jericho mhm myes
TACO TUESDAY!!!!!!
As before it was all because of a misunderstanding and a gross lack of *effective* communication.
You say that as if tacos were a less important reasong for conflict than the actual reasons of the Horus Heresy.
Wouldn't you?
This servant of the Adeptus Cafeterium stands with Rogal Dorn (honored be his name) on Taco Tuesday!
Put the capers back in the guacamole you monsters.
I was hesitant about this format, but after giving it a full listen, I am completely onboard and would gladly see/hear more. Unfortunately, due to the Emperor's intransigence in the face of Logic, I will have to start affixing spikes to my Imperial Fists successor chapter. Glory to our Adorable Progenitor.
Tacos are to be eaten whenever one damn well pleases~
@@jessegd6306 consensual consumption of the taco outside of its designated day is a myth.
@@EloquentTroll Tacos are inanimate objects and are thus incapable of providing consent of any sort.
Sister Beehive, is that you?
I have skipped these podcasts until now because I just really don't like podcasts in general... but now I really wanted more of your content so I decided to check this one out and by the Emperor, this was amazing! I loved it so much it easily lived up to the enjoyment I get out of a TTS episode of yours, great job!
I will definitely watch the other podcasts as soon as I can and I hope there will be more... my sweet dream is a podcast about the Alpha Legion or the Blood Angels, keep up the good work Alfa!
Dear Emperor,
If one of your wayward sons wished to return to your side as Magnus did what would be your reaction? Would you welcome them or turn them away? PS Why did you allow Angrons brothers and sisters whom he led from the fighting pits die instead of saving them?
Captain Chicken of the "Fist of Boom" , Battle Fleet Solar
BOOMxCHIKN he has stated previously that he intends to bring back all his remaining sons
I hope this becomes a full series also I hope my chapter gets their lore mentioned.
Iron_eHands Champion ,,Hope is the first step on a road to disappointment."
Asmodai make yourself repent
a discussion on your Primarch's lore would beheading in the right direction
Iron_Hands Champion we found an inquisitor and he's the one that ban our fanfiction site by blowing up the planet they live on all because they were behind on their tax
kevobot 93 sounds like the guy I talked to
"A primarch is a space amrine, but bigger".
So a Primaris then?
I believe a Primaris would be more of an in-between.
ROG41 You may have just revealed the origin of Primaris marines at GW
I read that as "space amirite"
A space anime?
Space armins?
"The White Scars don't use torture, it's dishonorable."
Maybe that's just a polite way of saying the White Scars realise that torture's fecking useless. :P
Torture is incredibly useful; on confirmable information. That's the caveat people forget to include. It's useless for getting "What day is so and so going to blow up x" because he will give you a million dates that only one can be true. If its a code to a lock you can try repeatedly, torture is 100% an effective and efficient way of getting that info.
I think it has to do with their inspiration. The Mongolians, surprisingly, did not practice torture. Genghis Khan felt it was cruel and useless, that a proper display of military might was more effective for spreading fear unto his enemies.
@@riokollivier And hardcore fear tactics consisting of over-the-top brutality.
Thank you for the compliment, but be careful. I heard Asmodai was lurking around here.
@@MrVlogman101 If the stakes are high, torture won't work, because if torture is your best remaining strategy for getting critical data, probably all they need to do is stall.
interesting how boy's speech becomes more and more coherent as the episode goes on
Fun fact, the Dornian Heresy lasted only a few weeks. There's still heated debate over whether it's Taco Tuesday or Taco Friday but the emergence of the chaos spawns spouting the nonsense of Taco Monday caused the two conflicting sides to come together and annihilate their shared enemy. After these heretics were slain and their ideas abolished, the two sides could no longer look into each other's eyes and call each other foe, not after the experiences they shared together.
Debates still go on as to whether or not Taco Tuesday or Taco Friday is the true path but they've de-escalated to bolter fire being exchanged rather than orbital bombardments and Exterminatus strikes. Choose your side wisely.
Or... don't. If recent discoveries are to be believed thanks to the collaborative efforts of tech priests on both sides, the creators of tacos ate them whenever the hell they wanted and that there were even restaurants dedicated to serving dishes like tacos before The Age of Strife.. The validity of these records are in question, however, although the recipes that were found within have been verified to be the best ****** tacos the Imperium has ever tasted. In any event, you should refrain from choosing a side until you can make an informed decision on which day is best to taste tacos.
Except if it's Monday, obviously.
You Heretic.
I wonder how much of the laughing is in character and how much is the voice actors being unable to contain themselves.
I can’t wait for a magnus, Corvus, Vulcan, and Rogal Dorn, and Leeman with everyone else podcast
:(
>:(
About That...
Grimdark
@@richardlionerheart1945 I hold out hope
54:51 I thought the joke was that they are given the Emperor's pace since they become immobile like the Emperor. I was actually expecting the pillartodes to get deleted or smacked or something.
When the Imperial Fists show back up, I would love it if they listened into the podcast and realized that Rogal Dorn was alive through that.
>Tacos on a Friday and Pancakes on a Thursday
YEP
THIS WAS WRITTEN BY A SWEDE ALRIGHT
The laws of the ancient Terran nation state of Swe-den decrees that tacos are indeed only to be consumed on Fridays. Saturdays are acceptable if for some reason the planned consumption of Friday tacos is made impossible by unforeseen events. Failure to follow this law is punishable by being forced to stand close to a stranger while waiting for the bus.
HERESY!
Robin auf der Heide also while said person is talking and making eye contact to the person who commited the offense
At least pickled herrings weren't involved.
Not my place to complain BUT I am in possession of a record that says that its supposed to be Taco Monday
In the Grim Darkness of the Far Future, There is Only War
"I, Adorable, say that it is Taco Tuesday!"
...and it's on Friday.
CHOAS PREVAILS!!!
Oh god i couldnt hear anything, i was to focused staring at rogal..... so adooorable
Hermann FEGELEIN!!! When Rogal said that it slayed me lmao
Hmmmm rogal
Adornable
hahahah
Theehee "Adornable"
As humerous as his suffering is, I truly feel sorry for the boy.
Am I the only one who feels incredibly conflicted about Boys plight? Like it's so sad, but it's funny. What's worse is the two intermingle, my laughter inflames my empathy further and my empathy increases my laughter... It's strange.
Patrick Buckley don't worry, in a few years he'll be a space marine
Rogal is in the Emperor's old gene labs every night working on creating a pure copy of his own genes so he can give the geneseed to Boy, while at the same time browsing for the right kind of pain glove to give to him too. Pain glove is essential
The word you are looking for is deprarious.
IN THE IMPERIUM ONLY THE STRONG SURVIVE!!!
Welcome to WH40K
-Early Squad, where you at?- ORDO DRAIGO PRESENT! We will provide the HAMS!
HERE!
Here
I AM THE HAM
Here
THAT'S A GOOD LOOKING BEARD YOU HAVE THERE SIR!
I too have a beard...
Is the emperor laugh silently about the idea of holy books ???
"It must be true, because this book say so."
"This book is different, so every other one is wrong."
I was listening to twenty minutes of this while painting Space Wolves-
*I say as I have a Thousand Sons profile picture*
Not uncommon for the dusty britches to collect and pain battlemace 42m figures. Just don't let gene-dad see the new army(unless you intend on losing a lot then you might just make his day).
I mean the Iron sadsacks were metagaming voxnet-listers but at least they weren't using warp powers to affect dice rolls.
Im proud of you my son. But for helvetes sake fix yer picture and quit looking like yer a wolfing milksop!
SPACE WOLVES!?
@@alexanderleonardi3625 ye heard me ye wulfin red milksop! Put down that wolfin dusty book and figth like a real Wolf!
@@m4taylor780 Just a heads-up, I got rid of the Space Wolves not too long after commenting that. Sticking to Thousand Sons and World Eaters.
This was a damn comfy listen.
Thanks guys, can't wait for the next vox-broadcast.
"I guess going fast is it's own supressive fire."
*ded*
23:55
I must admit, this is the first time in my life I hear Rogal Dorn's "laugh"
Even years later. This whole series is a masterpiece.
55:09 the inquisition logo pops up for a few frames.
and the subtitles mess up a bit after that
no you are seeing things citizen, stop talking before you are put in heresy jail
seen that as well
Trippy, I didn't see that until you pointed out...
48:17
ULTRA-RAPID DEPLOYMENT survived!
page 36, Codex: Space Marines - new 8th edition(2019)
Can confirm that
Ultra-rapid lives
*stomp stomp*
That ambience is genuinely comfy holy shit
I've been listening for about 25 minutes now, the quality is good and It made me laugh quite a bit while teaching me things on the fluff. I think it is a good concept. So, thanks Alfa for giving us something a bit different but also a bit closer to what the early episodes of the TTS series were like, it's nice.
Also, talking about books, are you going to cover the Eisenhorn/Ravenor trilogies ?
"Contains the names of the 20 original Legion."
You mean the name of 18 Legion, while any info on 2 Legions are totally Unknown, even their name or their Primarchs.
can i join tacos undivided and eat tacos every day?
Yes, this post right here, Commissar!
TACOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS
No for you making the consumption of tacos without meaning, no different than any other meal and that cannot be allowed in any sense of the phrase, you disgusting here-taco
@@dontmindme3794 what if i just exclusively consumed tacos
Okay but consider:
*Taco Tuesday + Fajita Friday*
This might be a 'dumb, juvenile and widely unserious' take on the 40k universe but it's an excellently executed one. I find myself coming back to these podcasts time and again because of how detailed and funny they are. I could totally see Emps being the way he is, canonically, as well.
32:19 Goblin throne?!HAHAHAAHAH XD you deserve an reward for that!
This was the best. I love the in-character podcast format. It's exactly the sort of thing that fulfills what I enjoyed about the older, throne-room episode of TTS. I've liked this video, and I will like every single one of these podcasts that you put out should you continue with them.
Tzeentch: LITTLE DO THE FOOLS KNOW THAT THE ONLY TRUE TACO DAY IS A MONDAY! JUST! AS! PLAAAAANED!
Akaix 987 Monday is for leftovers
Truly, only heretics say it is Taco Monday.
@@dionjaywoollaston1349 No, leftovers are for Thursday. Monday is for TV dinners and other such things that you really can't be bothered to spend actual time on cooking.
Bookhead714 in my house we have the leftovers from Sunday roast