A standard seize and investigate, something that STARTS with disabling a strange ship rather than making attempts to communicate, is a HELL of a way to make first contact and not a very smart way at that. You're absolutely bound to run into someone that not only doesn't appreciate being shot at, but will shoot back and likely bring friends to the party.
And, in this particular setting your second sentence will have already happened a bunch of times. Since it basically says they got away with it for so long because they were so strong. That doesn't happen when everyone just rolls over. Do something enough times and it becomes the rule. Even when it is in actuality a statistical probability. (Sometimes that is even right. Think about some of thermodynamics which boil down to statistics and averages and whatnot, but you can't get around them.) Enforce that "rule" long enough and it becomes the norm. When something is the norm, you need more than "this thing that has never happened, might happen" to challenge it. So then I would say that the real issue here is that there is no intermediate challenge shown to occur. That is to say; If the "rule" has always held true, why then is there any meaningful controversary about it in the first place aside from "well it is aggressive"? Something, anything should have been shown to have happened for it to be even questionable. But no, the story goes from hunky dory to you done f**ed up without anything inbetween and suffers for it. Due to this "rule" always holding true without anything of substance challenging it. A narrative of "I don't understand" would have worked better than "We should have known it was coming". edit: btw, were I one of the aliens arguing in favor of the policy, whenever given the "its aggressive" argument I would respond with "no, its assertive"
General: "Sir, isnt it short sighted to expel other species from our border like that?" High Command: "Not this shit again. As if anyone could do anything against us." -Later- General: "Uhmm sir? There is a group of battleships holding our biggest military base outside the core hostage." High command: Suprised pikachu face
"Sir, what should we do?" As a Terran, I would suggest opening hailing frequencies and begging forgiveness, above all, don't open fire, don't attack. We might feel merciful. It's doubtful, but there's always a chance. There needs to be more of this story.
Kinda reminds me of a story about a huge strip of space where, because of some strange cosmic phenomenon, every species within its confines turned utterly mad and subsequently against itself to the point of its extinction. Except for us humans, who were unaffected by this phenomenon since 'we were all a little bit mad right from the start' (which arguably is totally true, if you ask me). Anyway, when the first humans turned up in 'normal' space, this not only scared all the aliens crapless, it also made them immediately attack us out of fear, sheer arrogance and because they were 'seemingly not accustomed with the concept of warning shots'. Meaning, they attacked, a human ship fired a warning shot in return, which was only seen as 'too stupid to aim' by the aliens and encouraged them to go all in. In the end, humankind ripped everyone a new one, but decided to let it slip and go back to its own business in the end - and from this point on had a field day playing the strange and utterly mad weirdos everyone was expecting and so terribly afraid of.
@@kevincaruthers5412 Dang, I'm sorry, I can not find this story anymore despite going so far and searching my entire watch history for certain key words. Tell you what, I'm going to bookmark this and in case I will ever remember what this story was named or stumble upon it again, I come back and inform you. Not at least, to be honest, because this is buggering my own autistic brain immensely right now. :D
A classic. Standard Seize and Capture Procedure? Yeah, it was only a matter of time before someone took offence to having their home invaded. The Captain had better be apologetic as all hell.
It doesn't hit right unless you have an automatic monacle with an unusually loud motor for such an advanced race... that rotates over you eye for dramatic effect before delivering the "we die" line.
A bit of advice to the General. Have all personnel who can escape on the warships go and surrender. You might still be able to make peace and clear up the misunderstanding. Or at least temper the Terrans wrath by making it clear what happened was a combination of bad policy and a bungled first contact and apologize profusely. It might work. Better option in the long run to trying to fight the crazy war apes.
Yeah, thought that "seize and investigate" policy was a really bad idea right from the start. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. "W Surrender, General."
I really enjoyed this one. If this story continues it can go two directions BUT both directions are interesting possibilities. I hope the story continues.
Wow. Talk about a First Contact gone wrong. I'd like to know what happens when the 12 ships arrive. Thanks for narrating and posting this very interesting story. My compliments to the author.
Mmmm I thinks its fair to say that 12 proper warships vs a fleet and fleet base will be messy for both sides, but if a scout ship can KO a flag battleship, the helium suckers are going to lose.
some casualties on first contact can probably be expected due to misunderstandings, the Terrans in the first ship were no doubt pissed but their higher ups will probably realize that the wise course of action would be to try diplomacy first. With the data they retrieved they should know about the controversial procedure so they likely have a strong case for demanding various reparations and concessions without having to start a war.
Was this one of those remasters? I swear I've heard you tell this tale before. Not complaining, love listening to you tell these tales. Just wondering. :)
Here is a like and comment for the story, for entertaining me, to help your channel grow, to appease the great and powerful UA-cam algorithm demons, and get you the recognition you deserve.
19:36 I appreciate how even the scrolling text seems to skip a beat, just like the alien's hearts, when the Terran Alliance shows up. For the allmighty literate rodent! For the algorithm!
First thought that comes through my head is that whoever programmed that classified symbol lock was an idiot, the system should've automatically transmitted the entire data package where the symbol was seen to the high command the instant it was detected due to the perceived threat level...
Given that all data on "Federation" members, worlds and non-aligned species was included in that data dump, I wonder how many other fleets of 12 went to different targets.
What you do is you open every single channel and maybe start waving some flags broadcasting the most sincere and heartfelt apology you can manage with all the power your generators can muster.
Honestly, if you know you were in the wrong, or at least the probably stronger people probably ready to pummel you thinks you were regardless of your own opinions, and you know they spoke at least one of your known languages, you hail on all frequencies and request to speak. And apologize. While we don't like our boats being touched, I think they would understand enough it was a different culture and give them ONE shot to give a reason NOT to react with a "proportional" response.
My advice: Apologise humbly and beg for mercy. It's your only chance. If that doesn't work, then you may as well try praying to whatever gods you believe in.
What could go wrong? All we were doing was seizing any and all unknown ships and reverse engineering the tech and then letting them go. I mean they were weaker than us in the Federation right?
“Nitrogen started replacing helium”
I’ll bet there were more than a few giggles among the infiltration team
Some might have even started imitating Minions
It is even easier to breathe helium/oxygen than nitrogen/oxygen. Perhaps it was done to make more difficult for the non humans.
Chip and Dale briefings intensify
@@davethompson3326 I hope there was at least one argument XD
Don't. Touch. The. Boats. We take that personal.
Japan has anime voices for you to hear.
Try to surrender,o or die. 🥵
Habitual Linecrosser ? 😅
@@sodkumagarasdod Indeed. Did you hear it with his Japanese accent?
@@Bilskirnir3124 of course i did. 😁
A standard seize and investigate, something that STARTS with disabling a strange ship rather than making attempts to communicate, is a HELL of a way to make first contact and not a very smart way at that. You're absolutely bound to run into someone that not only doesn't appreciate being shot at, but will shoot back and likely bring friends to the party.
And, in this particular setting your second sentence will have already happened a bunch of times. Since it basically says they got away with it for so long because they were so strong. That doesn't happen when everyone just rolls over.
Do something enough times and it becomes the rule. Even when it is in actuality a statistical probability. (Sometimes that is even right. Think about some of thermodynamics which boil down to statistics and averages and whatnot, but you can't get around them.)
Enforce that "rule" long enough and it becomes the norm. When something is the norm, you need more than "this thing that has never happened, might happen" to challenge it.
So then I would say that the real issue here is that there is no intermediate challenge shown to occur. That is to say; If the "rule" has always held true, why then is there any meaningful controversary about it in the first place aside from "well it is aggressive"?
Something, anything should have been shown to have happened for it to be even questionable. But no, the story goes from hunky dory to you done f**ed up without anything inbetween and suffers for it. Due to this "rule" always holding true without anything of substance challenging it. A narrative of "I don't understand" would have worked better than "We should have known it was coming".
edit: btw, were I one of the aliens arguing in favor of the policy, whenever given the "its aggressive" argument I would respond with "no, its assertive"
"And it was then that we all learned to fear the wrath of those who sailed under the banner of the Flying Squirrel."
General: "Sir, isnt it short sighted to expel other species from our border like that?"
High Command: "Not this shit again. As if anyone could do anything against us."
-Later-
General: "Uhmm sir? There is a group of battleships holding our biggest military base outside the core hostage."
High command: Suprised pikachu face
"Sir, what should we do?"
As a Terran, I would suggest opening hailing frequencies and begging forgiveness, above all, don't open fire, don't attack.
We might feel merciful. It's doubtful, but there's always a chance.
There needs to be more of this story.
Kinda reminds me of a story about a huge strip of space where, because of some strange cosmic phenomenon, every species within its confines turned utterly mad and subsequently against itself to the point of its extinction. Except for us humans, who were unaffected by this phenomenon since 'we were all a little bit mad right from the start' (which arguably is totally true, if you ask me).
Anyway, when the first humans turned up in 'normal' space, this not only scared all the aliens crapless, it also made them immediately attack us out of fear, sheer arrogance and because they were 'seemingly not accustomed with the concept of warning shots'. Meaning, they attacked, a human ship fired a warning shot in return, which was only seen as 'too stupid to aim' by the aliens and encouraged them to go all in. In the end, humankind ripped everyone a new one, but decided to let it slip and go back to its own business in the end - and from this point on had a field day playing the strange and utterly mad weirdos everyone was expecting and so terribly afraid of.
@@Furzkampfbomber Would love to read that story. If you remember the name, I would be appreciative. :)
@@kevincaruthers5412 Dang, I'm sorry, I can not find this story anymore despite going so far and searching my entire watch history for certain key words.
Tell you what, I'm going to bookmark this and in case I will ever remember what this story was named or stumble upon it again, I come back and inform you. Not at least, to be honest, because this is buggering my own autistic brain immensely right now. :D
@@Furzkampfbomber Thank you for the effort!
I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
@@kevincaruthers5412 No problem, I just hope that one day I will find this darn story again! And have a great weekend too!
The general should immediately broadcast their surrender, and request a parlay to explain and discuss options.
Any other response, would be folly.
that's what i was thinking
A little hard to broadcast a surrender when all your comms are being jammed.
@@merlinathrawes746 shutting down weapons and shields are usually accepted but we are talking aliens
@@merlinathrawes746 Power down all shields and weapons, and pray to whatever gods you worship that they notice and get the message.
@@mlogan2k2 I don't think the Terrans have come to parley.
A classic.
Standard Seize and Capture Procedure?
Yeah, it was only a matter of time before someone took offence to having their home invaded.
The Captain had better be apologetic as all hell.
Got to love with the "proportional response".
Great story; Excellent narration! That ending reminded me of "The Last Starfighter" "Commander, what do we do...? We Die!" LOL!!!
It doesn't hit right unless you have an automatic monacle with an unusually loud motor for such an advanced race... that rotates over you eye for dramatic effect before delivering the "we die" line.
A bit of advice to the General. Have all personnel who can escape on the warships go and surrender. You might still be able to make peace and clear up the misunderstanding. Or at least temper the Terrans wrath by making it clear what happened was a combination of bad policy and a bungled first contact and apologize profusely.
It might work. Better option in the long run to trying to fight the crazy war apes.
HA...lol crazy war apes. Pretty much covers it
I'm kind of surprised the end didn't involved their comms being hacked and the last sentence being "One chance. EXPLAIN YOURSELVES"
No need. The Terran Federation had the database from the ship for a while so knew the Federation 'seize and investigate' protocol.
Even better, "You have 5 minutes to evacuate before we open fire."
Those aliens forgot a saying that the Terran alliance bluntly reminded them of " there's always a bigger fish."
Yeah, thought that "seize and investigate" policy was a really bad idea right from the start. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
"W
Surrender, General."
Congratulations, tell them what they've won.
A lifetime supply of species-wide existential dread, and ALL the post-traumatic stress.
Don't. Touch. Our. Boats.
Yeah, somebody done fucked up. Many thanks!
Love how the Humans in this story are essentially Xenomorphs
They were full of lawyers schooled in Federation Law…
oh dear the federation will go bankrupt
One word “RUN”! I am running, Run faster!
Xeno: Seize and investigate, what could go wrong?
Hooomans: War paint comes out, boss music begins to play.
Descrioption of the Classified Symbol :
An upright cylinder with two circles at one end.
I have heard this story before, but this well done. Thank you for putting life into the story.
Rock on Sir Squirrels!
I really enjoyed this one. If this story continues it can go two directions BUT both directions are interesting possibilities. I hope the story continues.
Wow. Talk about a First Contact gone wrong.
I'd like to know what happens when the 12 ships arrive.
Thanks for narrating and posting this very interesting story. My compliments to the author.
Mmmm I thinks its fair to say that 12 proper warships vs a fleet and fleet base will be messy for both sides, but if a scout ship can KO a flag battleship, the helium suckers are going to lose.
some casualties on first contact can probably be expected due to misunderstandings, the Terrans in the first ship were no doubt pissed but their higher ups will probably realize that the wise course of action would be to try diplomacy first. With the data they retrieved they should know about the controversial procedure so they likely have a strong case for demanding various reparations and concessions without having to start a war.
Just go watch The Fat Electrician's video about the US's "Proportional" response to that time Iran almost sunk one of our ships.
An excellent story.
Thank you for sharing it.
Was this one of those remasters? I swear I've heard you tell this tale before. Not complaining, love listening to you tell these tales. Just wondering. :)
Here is a like and comment for the story, for entertaining me, to help your channel grow, to appease the great and powerful UA-cam algorithm demons, and get you the recognition you deserve.
That was a scary story very well told. Good job, Squirrel. Bad business that “ seize and investigate.” FAFO.
On the topic of what to do: Surrender has historically worked better than the alternatives a lot of the time (though not everywhere and not always)
19:36 I appreciate how even the scrolling text seems to skip a beat, just like the alien's hearts, when the Terran Alliance shows up.
For the allmighty literate rodent! For the algorithm!
So…basically….they brought Zenomorphs onto their ship….then handed them advanced technology. That’s…not going to end well.
Hope you're doing good buddy. I bought The Nature of Predators book. Whenever I read it, your voice is the one I hear in my head.😅
However, as for this story Net Narrator did better with it. Sometimes I feel like the right narrator for the right story can make or break it
One of my all time favourite Hfy stories 👏🏻💪🏻
I've read this one before. It's one of my favorite stories. Glad to hear it being told by my favorite story teller!
First thought that comes through my head is that whoever programmed that classified symbol lock was an idiot, the system should've automatically transmitted the entire data package where the symbol was seen to the high command the instant it was detected due to the perceived threat level...
FarmWhich delivering another fantastic short as usual ❤❤❤
For the Agro-rythm!
good story and enjoyed the narration
thanks
I feel like this is a play of the start of the Barbary Wars.
OI! No Letter of Marque! A pirate! A whole nation of pirates! Ohhhhh yeahhhh!
Good story!
As always great story
Greetings, Mentlegent!
For the Rhyhtm that is Algo
Oh yeah, I remember NetNarrator doing this one a while back
"Sir, what do we do?"
Jesus.... just feckin' APOLOGIZE already!
Thanks brother keep it up
Fantastic story and narration once again! Thanks to both the author and Agro.
Oh man, I hope this story continues
DON'T. TOUCH. THE BOATS.
- Anime Bad Guy
Oh man, it ends like that? Now I just want more.
For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), for the Holographic Voice!
Don't tread on me.
No step on snek
@@Netherdan ~ NO ~
LOVE TO SEE Argo do this one.
The general didn't know, but, we absolutely know : Brown pants time ! Followed with blood splatter everywhere.
Given that all data on "Federation" members, worlds and non-aligned species was included in that data dump, I wonder how many other fleets of 12 went to different targets.
My guess is after going over the data, 12 is all they need for the whole federation lol
For DA SKWERL and his Nest
And from the nearest of the 12 ships, we received the following message: "Stand and deliver. Your lupins or your life".
Play stupid games: win stupid prizes.
Or in other words
FAFO
Good stuff
Spifflemonk would have handled that contact more effectively.
Algorithm. Good story!
Definition of FAFO.
What you do is you open every single channel and maybe start waving some flags broadcasting the most sincere and heartfelt apology you can manage with all the power your generators can muster.
Ask politely, "May we be of assistance with anything?"
They are still lucky that the symbol wasn't a red cross XD
Was my thought at first, that would not go well at all
Honestly, if you know you were in the wrong, or at least the probably stronger people probably ready to pummel you thinks you were regardless of your own opinions, and you know they spoke at least one of your known languages, you hail on all frequencies and request to speak. And apologize. While we don't like our boats being touched, I think they would understand enough it was a different culture and give them ONE shot to give a reason NOT to react with a "proportional" response.
On the other hand - War of Jenkins Ear!
That was my thought, at least give it a try.
2nd, 12 July 2024
Ooo, how nice for you!
That achievement will take you far...
MORE please!
Well, that was a breathtakingly arrogant and bolloxed First Contact. I wonder why it went badly?😸
Squirrel time
How is your recovery going from your sinus surgery going? Your voice sounds great
I would love a followup of this story
Hope the author has a part two coming out.
yeah, going to have to ask you to signal that surrender and hope for the best... move along.
Glory to Terra.
no step on snek
For the algorithm 👽👾🤖🌌🛰🚀🛸🌠
For the algorithm
Could this be the beginning of “There Will Be Stitches”? Background story?
Was that symbol a great big X by any chance? Possibly with the word COM underneath it?
Xeno FAFO, for the algorithm.
💪😁👍
My advice:
Apologise humbly and beg for mercy.
It's your only chance.
If that doesn't work, then you may as well try praying to whatever gods you believe in.
Praying should be part of it no matter what. Your gods, our gods, random gods, ...
200K
Part3?
Comment
Surrender
Catch and release isn't a very good first contact protocol. Better to try to talk first.
What could go wrong?
All we were doing was seizing any and all unknown ships and reverse engineering the tech and then letting them go.
I mean they were weaker than us in the Federation right?
H
FAFO...
Great story
this. is. how. you. Find Out!
👍
Seize and investigate regarded hostile.