I'm 66. Every morning I wake up with this. So, I force myself to get up early and sit outside, drink water and journal while I listen to 1 min shorts that are uplifting. Then I dance to a 3 minute song. Its gone by about 30 mins. I always have a great day because I have decided to be happy. It still feels impossible every. Single. Morning.
I’m 52 & have been waking up pretty much every morning feeling depressed as well. I lie in bed too long instead of getting up. I should just get up as soon as I wake up because my negative thought just get worse as I lie there.
@@universaltruth2025 I can relate. I have much anxiety and wale up so fatigued I can't get up. It furthers negative thoughts and having a weak self impression. Once I can get up it gets better although not completely resolved its comforting. It sounds easier than it is at the time but if you can fight the heavy lethargy it helps develop will power. Just small steps mean a lot!
I feel as humans we were programmed to get up and do what we want at our own pace, we was not meant to get up and go to work 9-5 and that is why so many people are depressed including me. ❤
@@MrPausenbrot I hope something big happens soon. We have only lived like this for 200 years. I see the benefits such as travel, comfort, healthcare etc but it comes with a price selling your soul being a wage slave. I wish it was hot in the UK 🇬🇧. I would go off grid for sure but it is too cold for me to go wild haha
@@kimhandley1523I live where it can be hot in the summer and also some winters. I’d rather live where it’s cooler. You need air conditioning or at least an an evaporator cooler here for 4-5 months out of the year otherwise it’s miserable!
wolfie, i feel ya.. me too pretty much mostly; it’s them teeny-mini moments of joy, when i walk into my exercise class; suuper nice trainers; good morning exchanges and ten second conversations at the grocery store… purrs from my kitt-cats; the breeze ruffling the tree leaves.. teeny-tiny mini moments.. inching along..☺️☺️.. it IS DEF a hard gig here.. sending, i totally get ya, hugs..
@@onceuponanexploration6048 I think you are so right! Actually that's how I get through and function. I have learned to break almost everything down into steps. It really helps!
@@LoneWolf-sy5ht And then you realise you're on a repeating cycle. Round and round and not seeming to go anywhere. I'm very aware of the repeating cycle at the moment - but then I might have made this prison for myself with trying to strictly follow important routines while waiting for something to change or lift which is where what Lesley talked about comes into it. It's a state of mind, Lesley. You're feeling enjoyment from those little, but critical, things. You're on the good stuff. That's what life is all about. We're in this perpetual loop but there is nothing predictable about which way the wind will blow at any given time. Long may you continue to feel delight at the rustling leaves etc.! I do, too, sometimes (very momentarily) but along with the subtle delights come the subtle dismays and they are pretty much cancelling each other out. For every honey bee there are multiple petrol heads. And every drifting cloud is dwarfed by the unsolicited mail. And I have to search for the bees and clouds whereas the screaming engine of the petrol head and the junk mail is always ready to find me. I wonder if it's possible to completely invert delight and dismay so that somebody taking the junction, outside, in third gear makes me feel safe and content. Imagine how bankable that would be.
@@batintheattic7293 Wow, very interesting perspective. I will be conscious and look for the delight in those little but sweet joys of life, like cuddling up with my dog.
I cancelled my dentist appointment just now. And I NEED some dental work. It feels as though just GOING to the dentist is as hard as going across the country in a covered wagon! Fact is. The dentist is close to where I live. But taking a shower, and getting dressed feels like too much work?!!
I get you...I neglected my dental appointments for a decade (for various reasons) - and returned to a much bigger bill than I could imagine. I wish I went more regularly now. Usually leaving it results in bigger issues down the line. I got myself to choosing to deal with it now rather than .... and that choice was a helpful force. I still procrastinate on things, but some things, like health learnt the hard way.
I told my sister a couple of days ago that I feel like a walking corpse most days. I wish people understood how hard it is for people (like me) who have struggled with depression and anxiety their whole lives. I'm REALLY happy I just found this channel. It's helping.
I agree, a holistic approach is the way to go. "Let food be thy medicine, and medicine be thy food." I mentioned the meds just in case someone thinks I'm zoned out because of meds 😅 It's a natural strange feeling. I hope you get better soon Andrew 🙏🤗
@@Flowing22 Most times it is situational but I was diagnosed with a mood disorder about 15 years ago. I was on Lamictal (not an SSRI or benzo). It helped but I went off it thinking I was cured. Did OK for a while but I need to find a Doc and start over again. I lift weights, meditate, take herbal stuff, etc
I feel like I’m just killing time until I die. My body is breaking down bit by bit. Nerve pain keeps me from basic walking any kind of distance. I was doing paperwork for a charity but now my eyesight is going. Can’t even comfortably read a book any more. Luckily there are countless quality movies and tv series I can watch on tv. The cats alone keep me at a baseline functionally.
Life itself feels like an impossible burden. Even basic necessities are too expensive. Work is overwhelming. Relationships are parasitic, manipulative, and dysfunctional. And the world just gets more crazy and stupid as time goes on. We’re now living in a real-life dystopia ruled by the scum of humanity. Why do we have to live like this? 😫
Modern life is far too stressful and many of us just aren't built for this crazy 9 to 5 work work work regime. It's an a absolute misery and utterly overwhelming. We are NOT made to live like this.
@@rmh691it’s shorthand for full-time work. Decades ago, the standard office job was 9am-5pm. Many of them still are. That’s how the movie “9 to 5” got its name.
@@rmh691 I don't even work 9 to 5. I have been self employed and living off a subsistence income all my life, doing the bare minimum to scrape by. And even still I feel totally stressed out and like there's never enough time to do what I need to do. It's the system that is the problem, our lives are chaotic and we feel empty, lonely and tired because of all the BS that we have to deal with day in day out.
Wow... I'm only 8 mins in and I've never related to anything more in my life. You just PERFECTLY articulated what my 'treatment resistant major depression disorder' feels like.
Scott, I am in my 60s, and I can tell you without a doubt that a lot of people keep going only because of their kids. I can’t tell you how many times over many years they were the only reason I got out of bed in the morning. Not just depression, but I was very sick some of that time too. that is such a good observation that often we will do things for others that we would not do for ourselves.
So true...same situation. Both physical and mental health. I am 56, and I stay alive for my 2 grandchildren and my only child, their mother, my daughter. But it's difficult. I am indifferent to existence right now... it's so hard.
I stayed here through 23 years of agonising depression for my parents. Have been non-suicidal for the last 6 months or so thanks to great people like Scott spreading great info. But still scared when my parents pass, as there getting older now, that I won't have enough to stick around through hard times.. Might be too late to have a family now so gotta find something more to live for I guess
@Sylar-451 get involved at a church, or any charity - there are many people that need even little things, like a ride to appointments or just someone to listen over coffee. We have the ability to help immensely with even simple contact.
As far as studies about why living for others helps you keep going... I don't have a psychology background, but I worked in palliative care for 10 years and read a number of books about how to make life good for people with chronic illness and disabilities. One book described creating a community in which chronically ill people had a lot of independence and self-determination, but what really helped them do well was having something to care for - like a bird, or a plant. Even if they were physically unable to provide the care, but they were able to direct someone else to provide that care, they had better outcomes than those who didn't have a living being to care for.
I have schizophrenia and most times I'm forcing myself to do basic things. Its so hard to get motivated but once I complete a task, it feels like an achievement.
Summary/notes for myself: - externalize some of your purpose (don't live only for yourself) - live as if you aren't depressed because the episode will pass (I know, I know) - balance the weight of emotions with logic on your decisions (be very aware of emotions not always correlating with the objective situations of your life) Flip the ratio!!
Yes. I become mom to my inner kid and take care of them. Food, yummy snacks, a shower, maybe go out and get one inexpensive "fun" thing. Just to feel good.
It’s exactly where it comes from if you grew up in a family where you weren’’t seen as less than or had emotional neglect & parents who lack attuning to their child.. Trauma therapy taught me that.. as I struggle with C-ptsd.. and being the family scapegoat.
This has been me everyday for the past 5 years. Nothing and I mean absolutely nothing helps. Happiness so far off and everyday is so exhausting. If you would have known me before hand, I was the most outgoing happy person. A social butterfly to say the least. Now I am an introvert and even caring for myself is a chore. I go to work just to keep a roof over my head and a car to get to work. 😢I cannot find happiness in anything anymore.
I have that now after injury of torn connective tissue at my tailbone.lots of scar tissue formed. It's awful. Have no money for massage treatments that help. Plus severe cptsd
💯 I have chronic fatigue and severe muscle pain from an old car accident, so I hear you on the one, I'm not always great with this I do try to celebrate the little wins in my health journey
I’m a Chronic Intractable Chronic Pain Patient 😞 in this insane climate of opioid hysteria which is all a lie, addiction vrs dependence are worlds 🌎 apart!! It’s an ILLICIT FENTANYL POISONINGS CRISIS ☠️ There is no safe supply because the DEA are running our Doctors !! At this point Millions are suffering needlessly without MEDICINE we need to do basic FUNCTIONS!! It was never and is not a prescription crisis. I have been TORTURED 😈 into an INVALID!! I’m 63, Widow no kids, family all passed 💔 all old friends passed 😢. I’m in bed most days, by the Grace of God ? I just got a Unicorn 🦄 Doctor (one who validates & cares about your pain. He’s an Advocate for the CP community. He’s in the movie 🎥 “ Pain Warriors” it’s on UA-cam. He’s trying to save what is left of my life. 🙏🏼 I lost my Precious Mom 2 yrs ago because I couldn’t move her in w me & help be a caregiver. “Care Facility” killed her within 4.5 months!!! 💯 TRUTH !! ( long story) I have to live w this the rest of whatever life I have left. She wasn’t DYING !! I’ve lost everything due to an Accident- Surgeries that left me in excruciating pain 24/7. It’s INTENTIONAL 😈 Depopulation ~ Eugenics what ever you want to call it. Just like Hitler & others killed the disabled, undesirable’s. We are useless feeders. I abhor how the America I grew up in is GONE !! Just say it out loud; AMERICA is not treating pain !! How INSANE is that !!!!! Depression comes w the traumatic way we are treated, mainly not TREATED !! If I ever loose my new 🦄 Doctor, I will be DONE ✔️
Maybe the positive affirmations are helping those people get by, maybe they’re struggling just as much as you? If I’m feeling crappy I sing/hum don’t worry be happy. I act out being positive and then the good mood eventually follows. Or maybe they have no idea about how it feels to drag yourself through life, there’s people like that too, with no understanding.
I think the positive affirmations help a lot, just like meditation too.@@fleurosea you change your frequency, your vibe, with them, which is important. You did that with your humming and singing which is supercool, you attracted more of the needed frequency.
@@fleurosea If you were to reread what I've posted, you will find that it says "I can't tolerate", which indicates what personally doesn't work for me. Not what works or doesn't for others.
1. 6:17 Try not to live only for yourself. 2. 13:26 Know that anhedonia doesn't last forever, as long as you keep at the beneficial things. 3. 17:56 Do not function on emotion alone.
no. 1 can be hard because a lot of us are people pleasers and have never lived only for ourselves. So I thought maybe to be able to use that one, we have to look at the motivation for helping others...if it's for approval, dont do it, if its to help someone, do it.
@@janicenakonechny3674 I'm at the point that I'm over living for everyone else. Somebody take care of me for once. Help me. So yeah. No. 1 is pretty much worthless for me at this point.
A few days ago I actually tried to google something like "bad mornings" to see if there's an explanation, a connection to a mental health issue. I sometimes feel that my bad mornings end around 2 p.m. which makes them feel quite long. Today, the morning is very bad and very long, it's 8 p.m. now. Well, I may at least do the dishes to make tomorrow's morning a bit easier, right?
Yeah remembering that everything is temporary has really helped me out too."This too shall pass" has become a quote I say to a lot to myself. Also when things are better, recognizing and appreciating when they are. Even if it's just something tiny, like a good cup of hot tea this morning.
I have lived with chronic depression since I was a teenager, been in therapy for a long time, I'm on medication, and I know that this depression will be a constant for me for the rest of my life. I'm really living well with it, as I learned and found many different ways to cope and to manage it. Like, I would not say I am actively in a depressive episode every single day in my life. Far from it, somebody who doesn't know would never think I have depression. But I do constantly try to be "vigilant" in a sense because I know that it is always a presence in my life. A very small and quiet presence for the most part, but one I have to accomodate in a way that people without depression do not. And what I find SO frustrating about living with this chronic mental illness is that I rarely find resources that talk about LIVING with depression. Most of it is about overcoming depression, getting out of depression, etc. But there is so little material that acknowledges that there are people who are going to be living with it their whole life. And that this kind of depression looks and feels very different to the depression that usually gets talked about, the more episodic or singular-event one. That we need to strructure our daily life differently and have different needs and stressors that neurotypical people do not have. Because it also paints depression as something that can be overcome completely, in the sense that its something that happens to you, like a virus, and once you feel better you resume your life like normal. And it can be like that, for many people. Like a one-time major depressive episode in their life. - But for others, like me, it's gonna be a constant in my life forever. But I still sometimes feel or am made to feel by others that it is my own personal failing for not reaching the endpoint of my depression, "like I'm supposed to". For not being able to live my life as a neurotypical person would, even though I am not actively depressed as I was in my worst times with depression So thank you for offering content, strategies and also just visbility for chronic depression and what it actually means and how it affects those who have it. It helps immensly to just know that there are others like me out there who do live with depression as a chronic illness, and who share their experiences and methods to cope with it. I am definitely learning new things from your videos, and I'll try and see if those strategies and ideas could also help me deal with my depression more efficiently.
reading this helped me feel better about myself because i've struggled with the same thing. now i'm 21 and don't know what i'm doing with my life because i've been depressed for so long. we're in this together, sending you strength
And what if your married to the person who blames you for not getting better? They believe your lack of discipline, lack of obedience, weak faith in Jesus’ healing powers, & so on is why your still sick
You dont know how much you are helping people. I was hopeless and suicidal. Your channel has literally helped me more than therapists or medications. I really like how you talk from personal experience which really validates us because I usually end up feeling I am the only one screwed up in this world.
Medications can mess you up a whole lot more. I know from experience and I've seen it with other people as well. I know this goes against current culture and the quick fix with medication. Getting other help with a good therapist will be more beneficial in the long run. Trust me, I'm really messed up from a benzo I took for panic attacks and then messed up from the antidepressants they added to help with those side effects I had. I can't tell you how awful this has truly been for me. I just want to warn people, and I'm not the only one. Please be safe. Things can get worse.
@MrJCerqueira Or it could mean your medication is making you feel that way. That did happen to me. You're still believing in the "chemical imbalance" thing.
takes a lot to be patient with life doesn't it?! We have to learn what strength really means. It's not just a word...it's carrying on. One doesn't have to be feeling just so happy to be growing and developing strength. I feel trapped in so many complex and threatening life situations right now. I only hold on sometimes by a thread. Each day is just a little bit different and I have little moments of little joys. My hope is that I have had less horrible times and so my life just might get better. You are on a whirling planet in a totally strange and huge universe. I guess that's pretty interesting. There's a video and it's here on youtube called "Inner Worlds Outer Worlds" that's pretty distracting. It might provide you with a little interlude of distraction from how difficult things are. Sometimes solutions just aren't available and the only thing we can do is hold on and do even just little things and that's a huge accomplishment. This channel here can be helpful...He gives some great achievable "tips" that are huge to a person who is feeling really heavy and sad.
I’m right there with you. Taking adderall is the only thing that made me normal and looking forward to do basic everyday things I had to go off of it but if I could be like I was on it I’d have no issue. Maybe something is chemically off
Do 1 small thing. Empty one wastebasket, or pick up 1 piece of trash and put it in a wastebasket. While waiting for the microwave, do a small thing. Put 1 dish from the drying rack into the cupboards. Etc.
Oh my. I needed this. I am a single woman who raised a son. He's gone now. I was doing dishes this morning. Life is just work. I work until 6, if I cook I'm not eating and cleaned up until 8:30, I sleep and do it all over again. My free time is laundry, housework, yardwork. I'm so tired of living. I'm completely over it.
Admittedly the loss of my very much loved husband last year has had a huge impact, but as he was diagnosed for ten years with dementia, it was also a huge relief to know that he was out of his suffering. I’ve got to a point where nothing I do has any positive impact, and it all feels so totally worthless. I’ve never felt quite as void as I do now, despite having depressive episodes over fifty years. I sincerely hope that there is an end to this.
I am so sorry. This should never have happened to you, you didn’t deserve to lose him 💔 maybe one day if you feel it would help, you could share your story with others who have also lost someone close to them. Even if online - on Reddit or just writing your story down for yourself. I know that for myself, hearing that others have been through something I have makes a huge difference
I am a mom and grandma but I don’t think I would be alive today if not for dogs and cats - they were, and are, my life line. My love for animals literally saved my life. I am grateful to have that one abiding passion - loving and caring for my pets.
I Pray for Strength and Safety every morning. At 66 y/o I'm just burned out. My energy level has dropped off so dramatically just due to age. But I'm Thankful I am Healthy. I just get through the days. I have no husband, kids or grandkids so the only reason I get out of bed is for a Great Cup Of Coffee and go from there. Best Wishes To All And God Bless! 😊 🙏 ❤️
I add hot chocolate mix to my instant coffee, eat a fig bar, take a prescription pill and a multi vitamin pill, have another cup of coffee and eat another fig bar . The year I was 66 was very stressful. I spent a few days in the hospital with pneumonia -- in a room with a 90-year old retired artist who was not supposed to get out of her bed -- but she did --so I had to push the button to call the nurse for her. I'm 83 now.
me too. I'm 68. And I only just found out why...I was sexually abused by my father since baby to age 6 when he died. And my mom was narcissistic. Did something happen to you at age 2?
@@janicenakonechny3674 No, I just watched my entire family always under control of work or school times and thought it was a complete waste. Being raised in England too didn't help, I'm super sensitive and we were raised harsh for our own good apparently🙄 I have however found out that without this attitude and raising tough I learned so much more about life than I would have. I'm sorry about your situation. That's a pretty rough road you went on. 😬 Always remember we experience what we do for important reasons. I guess we find that reason out when we die and go home 🏡
thanks@@iamthatiam44444 I have learned about those important reasons the last few years, and they have helped me so much. I agree school and how the work world works and it's not good for us. Way to learn from your rough upbringing.
Every day I wake up it doesn’t matter what’s going on, I just don’t have the energy for it at all. If it was up to me I’d almost never get out of bed. Too bad for me though bc I have a family so I have to. I’m a real pleasure to be around, let me tell you.
I understand both of you and I hate to bring more happy news it doesn't get easier as you get older. I haven't felt well physically for about 10 years, and mentally unwell much longer. You're not alone in these feelings. Vicki
Definitely not just you. I used to not feel this way it’s like a chemical imbalance. Adderall was the only thing that made me feel like doing basic everyday things and enjoy them. I had to go off of it but I have no idea how to feel this way naturally
I tend towards multitasking. The two things that help me with my anhedonia are 1) crafting or coloring while listening to a book/podcast and 2) walking the neighborhood while picking up trash (i.e., "litter patrol"). That way I get my "daily steps " in and can do something that creates a visual difference. An added bonus is that excessive screen time tends to make me feel unproductive because I am not creating anything visual that I can point to.
Yes I need to see evidence of positive change every day. It helps for me to write task lists in different colored pens & doodles, make it pretty, in my planner and check them off so I have a physical reference of accomplishments. I also clean something for 5-15 minutes to keep momentum going with daily chores.
That is exactly what I do. Picking up litter is almost meditative, and I don't think my husband understands. It is pleasing to see the end result. I am very visual. I also listen to books or old radio shows all day while doing other things.
What the conversation needs to be about is why we have created and sustain a society that makes a large proportion of the population so miserable that they feel they can’t tolerate it and if they do they are depressed.
I noticed a lot of people in the commens are saying they only keep going because of their kids. A lof people don't have kids. I don't have kids. At least 20% of women my age don't have kids, and more and more younger women are not having kids. I've never wanted kids and I'm glad I never had them. I don't think kids would make a difference in how I feel or don't feel, it's just a focus of energy. Also, personally speaking, I wouldn't have had kids just to feel better, it would have irritated me a lot.
I wonder if these people who had kids to focus on, it was just a distraction from the problem. Now their kids are gone they are forced to look at the problem again. Kids never cured it,
@@penneyreed7316 I believe a lot of people have kids for selfish reasons, to fill a void or have someone to distract you from how much your own life sucks..
I always wanted kids. I had kids. They were extremely cruel to me and I finally wished that I had never had kids. Luckily they are adults now and I don't have to be around them any more.
It was the same for me for the last 18 years, until my dog Cleo died almost a year ago. Now my life feels so meaningless, I miss her so much and my reason to keep going has died with her. My mom died 10 years ago, it changed me forever, now my dog.. The fear of losing everyone I care for to death is always present now in my mind, it is crippling. I feel lost in life
Agreed! I’ve got three. I don’t have too much to feel down. They’re all so different. I’ve an 11 year old Ridgeback joey, 3 year old Malinois, Willow and a staffie x Labrador x Chihuahua, Bella, nearly two. They’re all so different! They keep me fit and entertained.
Going to designate 1 day a week to do nothing from sun up to sundown. No cleaning, no working, no tv, no listening to youtube, no social media, no cooking - will cook ahead. Will let you know if it helps. I hope to be ready to be involved in life for the following six days.
Ahh, Friday dusk to Saturday dusk, was my day for nothingness. I did have trouble staying off You Tube and believe since I was able to cut out all else, I will be able to manage it next week. By Late Saturday, my mind was organizing tasks and I was faunching at the bit to get going. Even the usual mundane tasks sounded fun! Today, I am fully rested, up early and doing household tasks with ease and delight! Whew!!
Love it @lightisgood5023!! I’ve been saying since I was a child … “wouldn’t it be great if we didn’t have to eat??” No one ever agrees, LOL! Me: “Wait, hear me out … No grocery store, no putting away the food, no throwing away the food (you didn’t eat). No prepping, cooking, cleaning up, you wouldn’t even need a kitchen or any appliances & you’d never have to clean the kitchen or do dishes. Would save so much time & money!😅 Turn your kitchen into an art room, gym, sauna, office, etc.😂
We all need a purpose to live... Otherwise, it is perfectly sane to wonder why you should bother to get up and do something. And that is why getting old is so depressing.
This title really grabbed my attention! Before Covid I was a positive go-getter! Now I don’t care about really anything except staying home chillin or taking my dog out in nature. Everything else is truly a burden! I’ve been a Massage Therapist for 23 years and was once passionate about my work. Now I don’t care about it anymore…people are annoying and I just want to be alone! I don’t know this person I’ve become but I love her anyway…I just wish she could truly relax and enjoy life moment to moment but duty calls 😩
Covid2020 enabled people to slow down & take a good look at everything going on around them, to them & what we are participating in. The Great Awakening / 2020 vision. Almost everything/everyone we thought we knew, loved, thought we had to do is either a lie or not what we thought. It’s reverse world, so many things are stupid & unnecessary. So many people are shallow or programmed & we can’t relate to any of it & there’s no going back, it’s literally the Matrix.🥹 Getting outside in the Sun & exercising is about all that really matters, LOL.
Definitely me. Then I feel guilt for feeling that way. Forcing myself to go out w two friends this weekend which is rare, I really want to stay in and hibernate lol.
You don’t feel like doing anything at all but can’t rest or relax, it’s like you’re crippled & stuck in the guilt and anxiety unable to do anything but dwell in your feelings of failure!
The guilt is real!! But then, why feel guilt.. for me I don’t have two friends.. not even one for that matter.. Ppl move on eventually when you stop engaging. Because they do not understand the depths of depression 😢
@@BradfordDobson-lu6id It’s bittersweet.. Because every “friend” I’ve ever had betrayed me in one way or another.. I take solace that I made the decision not to make friends anymore.. That way nobody can say they got one up on me. It gets lonely at times.. but I’d rather be lonely and alone rather than lonely in a fake relationship. I wish I could meet someone like me☺️ I hope you find peace.. because at the end of the day, friends or not, that’s what matters the most. I’m working hard at that ‘my friend’.. I wish you the best 🩵🦋
I said to my husband last night before I even saw this “being self aware and having consciousness is truly a burden”. I hate that I feel that way too. But I do. A ball of chaos spinning around a sun with sentient beings left to wonder what we are, why we are, and where go we go after death is burdensome.
One thing that has helped me is to take baths instead of showers. I take a bath every night. I light a candle, I listen to an audiobook or music or I set up my laptop and watch a show or movie. I drink sparkling water or tea or sometimes a glass of wine. I went from dreading taking a shower to looking forward to my bath every night. It's so relaxing and feels like a reward at the end of every day.
@@chelseabuffington1732 just start with a bath. You don't even have to fill the tub before you get in, just sit in the tub and turn the water on. You can work up to the wine and candles.
I know a person like this. She has CPTSD, battles existential dread and anhedonia, chronic and worsening pain, and chronic and insomnia. When things get too impossible for her, she relapses (she also has BPD and self harms, and also has severe AUD, the binge drinking type).
Wow, I just came across this video by accident and have to say thanks to algorithm for the suggestion, because literally I learned more from you in these 24 minutes than I did during months of therapy. Your explanations were very understandable and also it made me realize things I didn't understand at the time they were happening. Thank you!
Caring more for others during a depressive time is the other side of the coin: when NOT depressed, and still seemingly unable to improve anything about our lives (yet we function), putting our energies into helping others comes naturally...because our latent energies HAVE to go somewhere! "I can't help myself...you need help? Great. I'm there!" It takes us out of our mindspace and into the world...at least a little, for a time, and though it's ephemeral, it is pleasant at the moment. I spent my life this way. I know that this is true. I could not count on the world...but the world could always count on me. For a time, that bolstered my shattered self image.
I’m used to being anxious, where I feel like my brain cares too much about literally everything. Lately, my anxiety is actually significantly improved, but I have days where I feel like I’m moving in slow motion or like I’m looking at my life from the outside as someone else. Someday, I hope to be free of both persistent anxiety and depression.
@@kathleenp.3598, sending so much love and comfort your way. I’ve really been working on mindfulness and staying in the present moment. I’ve also just been more cognizant of how I spend my time in general (reaching out to friends, spending time in nature). It helps!
I think I can care about others even though I don’t care about myself is because I just don’t want anyone to feel unworthy, unloved, or uncared for. I can’t bear it and I think it’s because I know how it feels. It’s too late for me but maybe I can help stay the negative feelings for someone else.
I listened this driving to work today. I watched it driving home too. Nothjng crazy, just during routine traffic.Was a rough day today. From getting out of bed to every single 25 mins gone, counting down until i can leave the call center. To go home to an empty apartment. I have no living family or kids or anything. And i have to do it again tomorrow.. and then I get to come home and sleep. Thank you for these tips. Im trying to stay hopeful...
Call center..yikes,they createdepressiin when I've done them way back. Could you work at a plant shop or Cat Sanctuary or a small bookstore,or I'm thinking of temp work and you can say No to a gig if you're deeply down. Ah,I'm thinking also during the next months getting warm,like selling plants,gifts,jewelry in one if those outdoor Stalls. Also look up Volunteer jobs for ideas you might be able to switch your Job. ,I'vealso got hired almost every time. I worked a farmers market,and a folk festival. I know ya got to pay bills,just thinking of ideas. Also Zoom has tons if different groups online.And Librairies have lectures,and films,and community centers can be social.😂❤😅
I feel like this everyday, fibromyalgia robs everything. No energy, no motivation, no enthusiasm. Even sitting down watching Netflix feels like a chore some days, even when I can’t physically do anything else. You’re lucky to only feel like this once in a while. For those of us with autoimmune diseases and other chronic illnesses, this is our everyday!
Saw this channel for the first time today....And I say thank you because I did sit up in bed and celebrated my little victory. Learning how and why my brain is working is a start to change my life one day at a time! Thank You Dr. Eilers
For me, it’s always a burden, but right now having to deal with a coworker giving me the silent treatment makes it even worse. When I went to the boss about it, he said I should go to her, talk to her, and then he continued on telling me how important her job is to our office. And, she switched the story around said that I had gotten mad at her. She did this last year and it went on for several months. It makes my job very uncomfortable.
Your boss is a moron. Your co-workers attitude, feelings, behavior etc. is not your responsibility. That's all their problem, screw them all. And btw every one is replaceable in any job. No one is that important to anything. Nothing but laziness and gaslighting.
It’s so hard to work with people like that. It’s usually a woman. Flip the script and hold up a pretend mirror. This is not about you. It’s about her and her insecurities. Just be polite and professional and never mention her to the boss again. Men hate that stuff. 😂😂😂 Try praying for her. Miracles happen.
Lost a sense of purpose when the birds left the nest, then when Mom died and I no longer had her to care for, then loss of a relationship. It leads to a sense of having seen all life has to offer, been there, done that.
@@KandyKoatedKrafts Thanks for the encouragement. I am doing just that. Just broke up with my BF and this may turn out to be a year of incredible personal growth.
@@attheranch873 Pets are great, but actually spending time with myself, learning what I like, trying new things, meeting new people, and savoring the moment. It seems to be helping.
I can be going through a severe depressive episode and totally not care about myself. But if someone I love has a crisis during this time all the sudden I can snap out of my depression and become totally productive to help others I love ❤️ It reminds me of being like Superhuman. The adrenaline rush hits and people do things that they normally could not!!!!
Ohhhhhhh going to do a forced walk now. Forced walking hahahahahahahahha. But...at least i have legs that work and I am able to walk. Even tho it feels like tortured walking, I am grateful.
Do you ever feel better after dragging yourself along a park? I do forced walks, rarely made me feel better though. It's a whole different story on a day I feel better.
@shamalk Same! I hate hearing "get outside " or "take a walk" when I'm feeling down, because even when I force myself to, I feel exactly the same afterwards (or maybe worse, because it didn't help). When I'm feeling fine though, it's like, gee, I should do that more often! Once I'm done doing all the other things I'm up to because I feel okay, that is! 😂
I forced myself this morning to walk. I listened to this podcast and I am glad I did. Sometimes these golden nuggets are there to find to help us. Thank you Scott.
@@shineon_7660Well I know sometimes nothing is a cure all...but at least when walking or exercising you are giving a gift to your body and your future existence. Muscles and bones deteriorate and very quickly as one progresses through life. Life then becomes even more complex and being unhealthy just adds to sadness and confusion.
Going to the gym was the one thing I kept doing, even at rock bottom. No matter how worthless and burnt out I felt at the end of the day, I could always look myself in the mirror and say "Damn, I look good." Look good, feel good is real.
I am 66 and grew up focusing on others. ( caregivers) so I put myself on the back burner. To me it was normal. But now I know how big of a mistake it was. I lost my health over it. If you don’t have your health you really do not have a life. Depression follows
I'm schizophrenic, bipolar and mildly autistic. I have no friends, no job and no skills. I've tried for years to rectify these things and got nowhere. Give me a reason to live.
My friend, that sounds gnarly. I only know of one thing that helped someone with different but severe mental health issues, they started working at an animal shelter. They never could with humans but helping those defenseless abandoned pets and making them happy gave them life... I don't know if that's a possibility for you. I wish you luck. I don't know you but I want you to be ok... 😢 virtual hugs
The animal shelter sounds like a fantastic idea. Animals sense the people that need them the most. Try being a Veterinarian Tech. There is a place and a purpose for everyone in this world. Write affirmative messages to yourself and place them where you can rewrite the script. Try looking up and listening to Dr. Jordan Peterson for some advice and encouragement. He is so brilliant and we are blessed to have him living in our lifetimes. Sending a virtual hug. Believe in yourself. You can do anything you set your mind to.
I'm not sure if you will in this video, but I feel like I haven't heard you use the word demoralization at all. I only just really began to understand what it is today. I realized I'm not actually depressed I'm horrendously demoralized. I think that might be what's going on with a lot of us. Like no matter what we do we'll never crawl out of the pit, no matter how good tomorrow might be, it will always get worse again, no matter how hard we try, we are underappreciated and feel hopeless. I didn't realize that was demoralization. That's what's wrong with me.
In the past, I've done a little mind trick of "ok, I started out this life as a baby/small child. I wouldn't want to neglect a baby/small child... what are some of the fundamental needs that baby/child needs?". Somehow, this has enough of a "do for others" prompt sensation that I'm able to then "get on with it". Thank you so much for this video! You've gained a new subscriber from it ;)
I don't comment often but I wanted to comment about this. when I was a teenager I was very depressed, but it helped me develop a spiritual connection. In a moment of contemplation I was shown that the reason for my depression was my level of self absorption and told that if I just did something for someone else I would feel better. I did. I was also shown that " There is a whole world on the other side of your nose". I thought that was a little humorous, but it gave me a different perspective. I was also shown a leaf, bragging about its independence from the tree, as it was withering and dying. I would suggest that having a relationship with your higher power, however you picture it, helps you to keep your balance and receive inner nourishment. The leaves that stay connected to the tree, live.
Yes, some mornings I count down the things I need to do before I can go to sleep again. Mundane things seems so senseless some days. Thanks for the tips.
living with a brain injury from Menengieal encephalitis in 2019, lost some vision, brain damage..living in a fast paced world inundating every moment with buzzing, blurring, whirling, buy now, quick times running out, on sale! This really helped me out man. thank you. aim in a real rut.
Dr Scott going full disclosure on how bad his life really was. You don’t get this honesty with many people, period! Thank you again for exposing where life can go. In one month out of TMS treatments (36) feeling so much better 👍
I used to 100% feel that way when I experienced chronic burnout at my last job. It got to the point where I hardly had energy to do anything on my first day off, and then finally I gained a little bit of energy during the last half of my second day off (to actually do things that needed to get done). And then when I went back to work, I was maybe at a 50% energy level (at most) after my 2 days off. Life literally felt like a trap, where I knew that I needed to go to work and do all of the daily things to survive. I literally felt like my purpose in life was just to do what I needed to do to stay alive basically, and I wasn't able to hardly do anything enjoyable along the way. My stress levels stayed at the highest point (just thinking about going to work the next day made me feel stress, as I wondered how, or if I could do the whole day all over again!) And eventually, I couldn't quite di it anymore, and I couldn't force a smile on my face, and my boss noticed as I was trying so hard to keep moving the mop back and forth, as I was expected to mop all of the floor surfaces in the common areas of the hotel (the elevator landings on every floor, all of the hotel entrances, the lobby floor, the business centre floor, the gym and laundry room floors, the dining room and kitchen floors, and the floor surfaces of 4 public bathrooms). The common phrase that I heard was, "It only takes 5 minutes!!!" A phrase that the hotel manager used when she seen me struggling to get my list of cleaning duties done, while trying to run the breakfast buffet and keep the dining room tables clean all by myself. Now I feel sorry for anyone who has to work in an understaffed workplace, where the company they work for expects them to hold down two separate job positions at the same time (instead of hiring a janitor, for example). It breaks down the people who really care about getting every task done well, and the boss doesn't have empathy for them, and then let's you go because they don't like the fact that you are requesting other people to help with even the smallest of tasks (where the ladies working at the front desk wouldn't even water the plants that are sitting 5 steps away from them). I just hope and pray that I never have to feel that way, to that extreme, ever again! It was quite depressing to feel like I had to basically run a 10km race everyday, just to keep myself alive. I hope that better practices get enforced in workplace environments one day, where the owners and managers of businesses are really forced to follow any labour laws that govern that sort of thing. A person should only be working one job position, and nothing more. And they should be allowed to stand still for 10 seconds to breathe, without their boss barking at them about it. That moment when you finally finish a task, after running around like crazy, and you finally get to stand still for 10 seconds; only to have your boss turn their head, seeing you standing there momentarily, and then getting irritated by it. Lord God, please help this world get better 🙏💕.
Having ADHD and raising my kids who have ADHD make me feel like it takes so much work to do anything. Especially things that are boring or hard. So thank you for this video.
To cope with a hostile world, I became good at dissociating. So in times of hardship the first thing I do is abandon myself. Perhaps that is why it is harder to care for myself than others? It was not the others that I abandoned.
Same tbh. It's the only way I can function, if not fully present. To try and bring myself out of it will cause a severe depression drop, or an unmanageable panic attack.
i feel this soo much..... I have quite literally been "living" my life vicariously through the tv for a couple of years now. I used to hardly every even watch TV. I went a couple years without a smart phone even... but now I wake up and stare at the screen until I fall asleep. repeat. I can barely get myself to shower. I have started eating better(aka not frozen pizza every single night) .. but i still can't bring myself to cook so I just eat spring mix and stay hungry all the time instead of even trying. idk wtf is wrong with me. I want to live so badly. I havent had my drivers license in several years(im 32) and feel sooo fucking alone and trapped because of it... and because well, I am. I feel so hopeless with the way everythign in the world is already and is going. I'm sick af so i can't fulfill whatever purpose I could have if I wasn't disabled. I've just completely shut down. waiting to die is definitely the best way to describe it. but I wish I didn't feel this way. I just want to be happy and to help other people, but I can't even help my own semi-damned self.
I feel my worst when possessed by uselessness! That’s why at least a new job (even though it’s meh) helps me to escape from that. During tough times will try not to forget that it’s my temporary malfunction and stay away from making any decisions based on how I feel. Thank you for the advice!
The 3 things to do: 1. Dont just live for yourself 6:16 At the times you dont care what happens to you, living for someone/-thing else is gonna help you. (could be people, animals, a cause, etc.) 2. Figure out how to live without a reward 12:00 Know the episode will pass and find ways to "live normally" until the episode is over 3. Dont function on emotions alone18:08 Know that your emotions are not always reliable and don't make decisions just on emotions (lack of emotion is also an emotion)
When my children grew up and went to college, my husband and I divorced. I found myself living alone for the first time in many years, and I stopped functioning. I experienced depression and anhedonia. Doing the daily chores of living became too much. I discovered that I was happy to do things for others (my family), but I, somehow, was not worth the effort to do the chores to sustain my daily life. I continue to struggle with this and am researching how psilocybin might help me reframe my thinking.
After suffering for four straight months with various intensities of anhedonia, I learned that I could still do things when in such a depressive state. That one insight alone literally saved my life.
When my daughter passed away I wanted to run away and hide from this traumatic reality. I might of too if my responsibility to others was not a factor but my brain, and my emotions were able to reason it out so I did not make any rash decisions. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve been the perfect example of not being able to cope, and tend to flight not fight but, that only ended me back at square one. Thanks for this helpful conversation about examples of what to do when just existing is a trial.❤
Hi! Mike here, long-time lurker, first-time commenter, soon to be subscriber. I’ve been dealing with major depressive and anxiety disorders for awhile now and have been through a variety of treatments with little permanent improvement. I recently hit a low point where my passive suicidal ideations took a turn for the worse and I started having thoughts about how I might actually do it. I immediately recognized that this was a huge red flag and immediately reached out to my support network (close friends) who were able to keep me company during this difficult time. It was then that I realized your first point in this video - don’t just live for yourself. I’m living for my friends. I’m living for my family. I’m living for the people I interact with on a regular basis. I just don’t want to do that to them and I haven’t had those thoughts since this realization. I hope this story helps those who need to hear it. ❤
So sorry to hear that. I suffer from depression also Have you got medical checks done. I will prayer for you it can get better. Take good care of yourself.❤❤
I really needed to hear that thing about the "false" depression! I have lived many years feeling unmotivated, exhausted and anhedonic. Looking back, it has been much due to that I have stopped doing the things I love and find pleasure in, because doing the bare minimum was all I had the energy to do. Now that I actually am in most severe depressive episode so far, I feel a bit stupid looking back to those times I should've done more to feel better. But now knowing this, Im not gonna beat myself up about that, but instead try to make better choises going forward. Thank you so much for these videos!
Life IS a burden. Everything I do is purely out of obligation. Nothing is pleasurable or fun anymore. I just do what I have to do....going through the motions.
As I read the comments, something big jumps out to me. We are all saying similar things concerning sadness, overwhelm, loneliness , and lack of joy in life. What can help these states?? It occurs to me that CONNECTION could really help us. Why do so many of us live alone, and complain that rent is too much, and bills and chores are taking all free time and money? We were never designed to be alone, doing it by ourselves. What if we shared housing and bills and household chores? I want my own room, but really would like to live with cooperative people who struggle like I do. We help each other this way. Of course everything won't be 100% on your own terms, it will require all to be flexible and a lot of give and take, but it would be more in line with a communal life that is the real norm for us humans. I think about all the homes and apartments I see daily, where people don't realize that RIGHT NEXT DOOR or down the hall are people feeling lonely and disconnected just like them. We need to get together again, as medicine for what truly ails us as humans.
Really glad I found this channel. 51 yr old widow, diagnosed bipolar at 26, over the years it went to severe mixed bipolar 1 with psychotic features, borderline personality disorder, ptsd.. some days I'm in to of the world and so looking forward to the day. Yet too many others I don't get out of bed, and wouldn't get out of it if the house caught fire. Never been suicidal per say..but not caring if I were alive or not is something I feel way too often. I hate living with this brain. Any and all help is so welcome
I think one of the most important things you said on this video, Doc, was advising people not to do the things that depressed people do. In other words, loafing around, staying up late, etc. This rung an inner bell with me... like, it alerted me to this.
DBT is really good for working your way to this perspective because it's main focus is on dealing with overwhelming emotions and not attaching to them, not letting them drive the bus. As someone who's had anxiety for pretty much my whole life, it is so hard to not identify with these strong emotions. This video is such a good reminder that if we can just trust that it is a wave that will pass, it will pass more quickly and easily.
Perfect - and a little eerie - that the Universe sent this message to me through you at this very moment. I've been saying these exact words the last few days at a very critical point in my life. THANK YOU ! ! !
24:11 Ding! Ding! Ding! THAT is how I feel. People have called me lazy my entire life because I couldn't make sense of spending a whole life as a slave. I keep asking why, and the answer is usually "because everyone has to.". Which is, of course, a load of crap. Stupid Trump has never worked a day in his miserable life. It seems like the most privileged are the nastiest. Sorry. Rambling. Awesome video.
@@Jenjenn1111 Yes, for me too. Some days it feels like just the activities for basic survival take $10.00 worth of energy, and I only have a nickel to work with. The one tried and true tool for me is to deepen my grounding, my connection with the Earth. Grandmother Earth calibrated my energy if I'm connected properly, and I always end up able to shift out of overwhelm if I remember to do this. I may still only have a nickels worth of energy to work with, but I'm able to leverage that nickel for maximum benefit, which often starts a cascade of gradually increasing my energy. Doing one small thing usually leads me to the next small thing I can manage, and things unfold a bit from there. I may not come close to having $10.00 worth of energy, but the $3.00 flow I managed to get going sure beats just having a nickel.
I love how you don't sugarcoat anything and tell things just exactly how it is. You really know this. Thank you so much for doing this and I hope you keep on doing it you're the best I've ever found here so far and I wish you will go further in your career and life. Others I can't really follow but you, you really reach out and got into my soul and pull me out of the darkness every time. Thank you again.
I’m surprised that this man’s video actually covers the real things I am dealing with. He get’s it. So many depression books and videos don’t. I feel grateful knowing there’s a person out there who truly understands, even if he doesn’t know me.
I'm 66. Every morning I wake up with this. So, I force myself to get up early and sit outside, drink water and journal while I listen to 1 min shorts that are uplifting. Then I dance to a 3 minute song. Its gone by about 30 mins. I always have a great day because I have decided to be happy. It still feels impossible every. Single. Morning.
it takes a lot of will power to shake low energy / vibes off. You must be a really strong person. Great!
Hugs ❤
I’m 52 & have been waking up pretty much every morning feeling depressed as well. I lie in bed too long instead of getting up. I should just get up as soon as I wake up because my negative thought just get worse as I lie there.
@@universaltruth2025 I can relate. I have much anxiety and wale up so fatigued I can't get up. It furthers negative thoughts and having a weak self impression. Once I can get up it gets better although not completely resolved its comforting.
It sounds easier than it is at the time but if you can fight the heavy lethargy it helps develop will power. Just small steps mean a lot!
I like that you push forward. Thanks your post helps.
I have to convince myself every morning to brush my teeth. Force myself to eat breakfast. It all feels like a huge, unending chore.
Reading these comments and shocked others feel the same way I feel. I can live in my bed and that’s not good
I feel as humans we were programmed to get up and do what we want at our own pace, we was not meant to get up and go to work 9-5 and that is why so many people are depressed including me. ❤
Yes, i had these exact thoughts this morning. We live such unnatural lives.
@@MrPausenbrot I hope something big happens soon. We have only lived like this for 200 years. I see the benefits such as travel, comfort, healthcare etc but it comes with a price selling your soul being a wage slave. I wish it was hot in the UK 🇬🇧. I would go off grid for sure but it is too cold for me to go wild haha
I agree, going to the same job day after day with the same people, doing the same thing day after day is not natural.
@@kimhandley1523I live where it can be hot in the summer and also some winters. I’d rather live where it’s cooler. You need air conditioning or at least an an evaporator cooler here for 4-5 months out of the year otherwise it’s miserable!
@@mossyoakmom8880 it isn't 'cooler' in the UK it is freezing, raining, dark and miserable winters haha xx
I have had anhedonia since I can remember in childhood. I try to use two rules...."Fake it until you make it" and "This too shall pass."
YES!
Depression
So good, so good :)
❤
Self sabotage never works. Sounds like you're lying to yourself
Yeah, this feels like me most days. Everything feels overwhelming and feels like a chore.
wolfie, i feel ya.. me too pretty much mostly; it’s them teeny-mini moments of joy, when i walk into my exercise class; suuper nice trainers; good morning exchanges and ten second conversations at the grocery store… purrs from my kitt-cats; the breeze ruffling the tree leaves.. teeny-tiny mini moments.. inching along..☺️☺️.. it IS DEF a hard gig here.. sending, i totally get ya, hugs..
You might have adhd. It might be about breaking things down into steps.
@@onceuponanexploration6048 I think you are so right! Actually that's how I get through and function. I have learned to break almost everything down into steps. It really helps!
@@LoneWolf-sy5ht And then you realise you're on a repeating cycle. Round and round and not seeming to go anywhere. I'm very aware of the repeating cycle at the moment - but then I might have made this prison for myself with trying to strictly follow important routines while waiting for something to change or lift which is where what Lesley talked about comes into it. It's a state of mind, Lesley. You're feeling enjoyment from those little, but critical, things. You're on the good stuff. That's what life is all about. We're in this perpetual loop but there is nothing predictable about which way the wind will blow at any given time. Long may you continue to feel delight at the rustling leaves etc.! I do, too, sometimes (very momentarily) but along with the subtle delights come the subtle dismays and they are pretty much cancelling each other out. For every honey bee there are multiple petrol heads. And every drifting cloud is dwarfed by the unsolicited mail. And I have to search for the bees and clouds whereas the screaming engine of the petrol head and the junk mail is always ready to find me. I wonder if it's possible to completely invert delight and dismay so that somebody taking the junction, outside, in third gear makes me feel safe and content. Imagine how bankable that would be.
@@batintheattic7293 Wow, very interesting perspective. I will be conscious and look for the delight in those little but sweet joys of life, like cuddling up with my dog.
I cancelled my dentist appointment just now. And I NEED some dental work. It feels as though just GOING to the dentist is as hard as going across the country in a covered wagon! Fact is. The dentist is close to where I live. But taking a shower, and getting dressed feels like too much work?!!
Same with me like just going to get my hair done
Totally agree with you.
Youre so me
Me too….
can’t even force myself to make it down the hall for my remote job the last 2 weeks
I get you...I neglected my dental appointments for a decade (for various reasons) - and returned to a much bigger bill than I could imagine. I wish I went more regularly now. Usually leaving it results in bigger issues down the line. I got myself to choosing to deal with it now rather than .... and that choice was a helpful force. I still procrastinate on things, but some things, like health learnt the hard way.
"I wanted to, just, opt out of all the things" - SO FREAKING RELATABLE
I told my sister a couple of days ago that I feel like a walking corpse most days. I wish people understood how hard it is for people (like me) who have struggled with depression and anxiety their whole lives. I'm REALLY happy I just found this channel. It's helping.
I felt this today. I was driving and couldn't even remember how I got from point A to B. Totally zoned out and numb. P.s I'm not on meds 😅
@@Flowing22 Thanks for the comment. I'm not a fan of meds. I'm trying the holistic approach but if I don't improve, I'm going to do the med thing.
I agree, a holistic approach is the way to go. "Let food be thy medicine, and medicine be thy food." I mentioned the meds just in case someone thinks I'm zoned out because of meds 😅 It's a natural strange feeling. I hope you get better soon Andrew 🙏🤗
How long have you been feeling this way, and does it come in cycles?
@@Flowing22 Most times it is situational but I was diagnosed with a mood disorder about 15 years ago. I was on Lamictal (not an SSRI or benzo). It helped but I went off it thinking I was cured. Did OK for a while but I need to find a Doc and start over again. I lift weights, meditate, take herbal stuff, etc
I feel like I’m just killing time until I die. My body is breaking down bit by bit. Nerve pain keeps me from basic walking any kind of distance. I was doing paperwork for a charity but now my eyesight is going. Can’t even comfortably read a book any more. Luckily there are countless quality movies and tv series I can watch on tv. The cats alone keep me at a baseline functionally.
❤
I’m so sorry for all you’re going through 🙏 you could still enjoy books by listening to them being read out loud on Audible 📖
❤
I dso get that!
*I so get that!
Life itself feels like an impossible burden. Even basic necessities are too expensive. Work is overwhelming. Relationships are parasitic, manipulative, and dysfunctional. And the world just gets more crazy and stupid as time goes on. We’re now living in a real-life dystopia ruled by the scum of humanity. Why do we have to live like this? 😫
I feel exactly the same way. Getting to be too much to bare..
@@bigchief2331keep going...you matter ❤
Exactly this. I live for my doggo. Can't be dealing with humans any more.
Jesus said fear not for I have overcome the world.
Is this the depressive persons' view or reality?
Getting out of bed is so hard many days.
Same here
Same
Every single day!
I feel you man. I try to remind myself I got people to meet who I haven’t met but need me.
I live with this constantly- not caring to exist is different than being suicidal and so many people don't understand.
My sentiments exactly! 🙌
Yes, one is active and one is still
Thank you for articulating that so well.
But many people do. I get it.
I didnt. If I constantly thought about it?? How to turn off? I thought it sounded suicidal. Thats how I lost my brother, only sibling
Modern life is far too stressful and many of us just aren't built for this crazy 9 to 5 work work work regime. It's an a absolute misery and utterly overwhelming. We are NOT made to live like this.
Who works 9 to 5. That would be wonderful. I think most people work at least 8 to 5 and a lot of us are working more like 7 to 7.
@@rmh691it’s shorthand for full-time work. Decades ago, the standard office job was 9am-5pm. Many of them still are. That’s how the movie “9 to 5” got its name.
@@calisongbird am aware of that. Lol. My point is it’s time to come out of the dark ages and update the vernacular
Yeah…. I don’t wanna do this anymore. I’m done.
@@rmh691 I don't even work 9 to 5. I have been self employed and living off a subsistence income all my life, doing the bare minimum to scrape by. And even still I feel totally stressed out and like there's never enough time to do what I need to do. It's the system that is the problem, our lives are chaotic and we feel empty, lonely and tired because of all the BS that we have to deal with day in day out.
Wow... I'm only 8 mins in and I've never related to anything more in my life. You just PERFECTLY articulated what my 'treatment resistant major depression disorder' feels like.
I feel like I wasted my life. I ruined everything. I now just feel like I am existing and waiting to die.
This is deep but I can relate can we have a do over😏
Same
Me too
I feel this on a spiritual level
It sounds twee but helping others makes you feel better, it really does.❤
Scott, I am in my 60s, and I can tell you without a doubt that a lot of people keep going only because of their kids. I can’t tell you how many times over many years they were the only reason I got out of bed in the morning. Not just depression, but I was very sick some of that time too. that is such a good observation that often we will do things for others that we would not do for ourselves.
So true...same situation. Both physical and mental health. I am 56, and I stay alive for my 2 grandchildren and my only child, their mother, my daughter. But it's difficult. I am indifferent to existence right now... it's so hard.
@juliearcand2358 be glad you have your children or daughter in your life. Not everyone has that.
In my 60's as well brother. I don't think people in general understand the type and spectrums of depression that occurs at this age.....
I stayed here through 23 years of agonising depression for my parents. Have been non-suicidal for the last 6 months or so thanks to great people like Scott spreading great info. But still scared when my parents pass, as there getting older now, that I won't have enough to stick around through hard times..
Might be too late to have a family now so gotta find something more to live for I guess
@Sylar-451 get involved at a church, or any charity - there are many people that need even little things, like a ride to appointments or just someone to listen over coffee. We have the ability to help immensely with even simple contact.
This caught my attention. I feel sooooo exhausted. Burned out. Empty. Even sleeping is exhausting.
same here
@@kelseymathias3881you are going to be OK. 😊
@@Hurt-to-Healing thank you for the good words 🧡🧡
THIS! ^^^^^
Me too.
As far as studies about why living for others helps you keep going... I don't have a psychology background, but I worked in palliative care for 10 years and read a number of books about how to make life good for people with chronic illness and disabilities. One book described creating a community in which chronically ill people had a lot of independence and self-determination, but what really helped them do well was having something to care for - like a bird, or a plant. Even if they were physically unable to provide the care, but they were able to direct someone else to provide that care, they had better outcomes than those who didn't have a living being to care for.
I have schizophrenia and most times I'm forcing myself to do basic things. Its so hard to get motivated but once I complete a task, it feels like an achievement.
Good on you, your so brave and inspiring, i force myself to do basic things as well 😮
@@debbie3630why even comment? you’ve never had anything resembling a struggle in your life.
I was complementing you, i struggle as well with the same thing and i know how hard it is 💕
Summary/notes for myself:
- externalize some of your purpose (don't live only for yourself)
- live as if you aren't depressed because the episode will pass (I know, I know)
- balance the weight of emotions with logic on your decisions (be very aware of emotions not always correlating with the objective situations of your life)
Flip the ratio!!
Just written down your no.2 however difficult that may be I will try to re-read it.
Self sabotage could be the inner infant crying out to the inner adult, saying, "please love me too, I'm here."
Yes. I become mom to my inner kid and take care of them. Food, yummy snacks, a shower, maybe go out and get one inexpensive "fun" thing. Just to feel good.
@@2degucitasthat’s a great strategy ❤
It’s exactly where it comes from if you grew up in a family where you weren’’t seen as less than or had emotional neglect & parents who lack attuning to their child..
Trauma therapy taught me that.. as I struggle with C-ptsd.. and being the family scapegoat.
@@2degucitas in before when you cant afford food a shower a "fun thing"
Wow! Eye opening
This has been me everyday for the past 5 years. Nothing and I mean absolutely nothing helps. Happiness so far off and everyday is so exhausting. If you would have known me before hand, I was the most outgoing happy person. A social butterfly to say the least. Now I am an introvert and even caring for myself is a chore.
I go to work just to keep a roof over my head and a car to get to work. 😢I cannot find happiness in anything anymore.
I can so relate.
I'm the same.
This is exactly me, after my mother died. 😢
Same
Relatable.
Add in chronic illnesses/chronic pain. Absolute anguish.
I have that now after injury of torn connective tissue at my tailbone.lots of scar tissue formed. It's awful. Have no money for massage treatments that help. Plus severe cptsd
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
@@prussian5770🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
💯 I have chronic fatigue and severe muscle pain from an old car accident, so I hear you on the one, I'm not always great with this I do try to celebrate the little wins in my health journey
I’m a Chronic Intractable Chronic Pain Patient 😞 in this insane climate of opioid hysteria which is all a lie, addiction vrs dependence are worlds 🌎 apart!! It’s an ILLICIT FENTANYL POISONINGS CRISIS ☠️ There is no safe supply because the DEA are running our Doctors !! At this point Millions are suffering needlessly without MEDICINE we need to do basic FUNCTIONS!! It was never and is not a prescription crisis. I have been TORTURED 😈 into an INVALID!! I’m 63, Widow no kids, family all passed 💔 all old friends passed 😢. I’m in bed most days, by the Grace of God ? I just got a Unicorn 🦄 Doctor (one who validates & cares about your pain. He’s an Advocate for the CP community. He’s in the movie 🎥 “ Pain Warriors” it’s on UA-cam. He’s trying to save what is left of my life. 🙏🏼 I lost my Precious Mom 2 yrs ago because I couldn’t move her in w me & help be a caregiver. “Care Facility” killed her within 4.5 months!!! 💯 TRUTH !! ( long story) I have to live w this the rest of whatever life I have left. She wasn’t DYING !! I’ve lost everything due to an Accident- Surgeries that left me in excruciating pain 24/7.
It’s INTENTIONAL 😈 Depopulation ~ Eugenics what ever you want to call it. Just like Hitler & others killed the disabled, undesirable’s. We are useless feeders. I abhor how the America I grew up in is GONE !! Just say it out loud; AMERICA is not treating pain !! How INSANE is that !!!!! Depression comes w the traumatic way we are treated, mainly not TREATED !! If I ever loose my new 🦄 Doctor, I will be DONE ✔️
Life is such a massive burden and so few people admit it. thank you for your honesty on the subject matter
You can compete with the “Life is Good” company! 😂 Start making Tire covers, Shirts & Hats with “ Life is a Massive Burden” LOL!!
Your honesty is refreshing! I can't tolerate the overly positive affirmations people spew, nowadays.
ditto! good point
Maybe the positive affirmations are helping those people get by, maybe they’re struggling just as much as you? If I’m feeling crappy I sing/hum don’t worry be happy. I act out being positive and then the good mood eventually follows.
Or maybe they have no idea about how it feels to drag yourself through life, there’s people like that too, with no understanding.
I think the positive affirmations help a lot, just like meditation too.@@fleurosea you change your frequency, your vibe, with them, which is important. You did that with your humming and singing which is supercool, you attracted more of the needed frequency.
@@fleurosea If you were to reread what I've posted, you will find that it says "I can't tolerate", which indicates what personally doesn't work for me. Not what works or doesn't for others.
ikr,the toxic positivity. It's awful and selfish to expect people to be positive all the time especially when they feel exhausted or depressed
1. 6:17 Try not to live only for yourself.
2. 13:26 Know that anhedonia doesn't last forever, as long as you keep at the beneficial things.
3. 17:56 Do not function on emotion alone.
Thanks for the summary! ❤
Thank you
no. 1 can be hard because a lot of us are people pleasers and have never lived only for ourselves. So I thought maybe to be able to use that one, we have to look at the motivation for helping others...if it's for approval, dont do it, if its to help someone, do it.
thank you
@@janicenakonechny3674 I'm at the point that I'm over living for everyone else. Somebody take care of me for once. Help me. So yeah. No. 1 is pretty much worthless for me at this point.
I have bad mornings but accept it and then it usually gets better. Everything is temporary in this life. Everything.
A few days ago I actually tried to google something like "bad mornings" to see if there's an explanation, a connection to a mental health issue. I sometimes feel that my bad mornings end around 2 p.m. which makes them feel quite long. Today, the morning is very bad and very long, it's 8 p.m. now. Well, I may at least do the dishes to make tomorrow's morning a bit easier, right?
Yeah remembering that everything is temporary has really helped me out too."This too shall pass" has become a quote I say to a lot to myself. Also when things are better, recognizing and appreciating when they are. Even if it's just something tiny, like a good cup of hot tea this morning.
@@Misslayer99...I agree...and definitely what you said makes a very good point. Tks. And my cup of tea tomorrow, too.
Can relate.. Often can't get outta bed till late afternoon
True. If I go forward through the day it just helps to keep going
"I don't completely care to be alive today." Sums up most days for me over the last 20 years.
Same here
Too true
Oh
I have lived with chronic depression since I was a teenager, been in therapy for a long time, I'm on medication, and I know that this depression will be a constant for me for the rest of my life. I'm really living well with it, as I learned and found many different ways to cope and to manage it. Like, I would not say I am actively in a depressive episode every single day in my life. Far from it, somebody who doesn't know would never think I have depression. But I do constantly try to be "vigilant" in a sense because I know that it is always a presence in my life. A very small and quiet presence for the most part, but one I have to accomodate in a way that people without depression do not.
And what I find SO frustrating about living with this chronic mental illness is that I rarely find resources that talk about LIVING with depression. Most of it is about overcoming depression, getting out of depression, etc. But there is so little material that acknowledges that there are people who are going to be living with it their whole life. And that this kind of depression looks and feels very different to the depression that usually gets talked about, the more episodic or singular-event one. That we need to strructure our daily life differently and have different needs and stressors that neurotypical people do not have. Because it also paints depression as something that can be overcome completely, in the sense that its something that happens to you, like a virus, and once you feel better you resume your life like normal. And it can be like that, for many people. Like a one-time major depressive episode in their life. - But for others, like me, it's gonna be a constant in my life forever. But I still sometimes feel or am made to feel by others that it is my own personal failing for not reaching the endpoint of my depression, "like I'm supposed to". For not being able to live my life as a neurotypical person would, even though I am not actively depressed as I was in my worst times with depression
So thank you for offering content, strategies and also just visbility for chronic depression and what it actually means and how it affects those who have it. It helps immensly to just know that there are others like me out there who do live with depression as a chronic illness, and who share their experiences and methods to cope with it. I am definitely learning new things from your videos, and I'll try and see if those strategies and ideas could also help me deal with my depression more efficiently.
Great post.
Excellent comment, thank you
reading this helped me feel better about myself because i've struggled with the same thing. now i'm 21 and don't know what i'm doing with my life because i've been depressed for so long. we're in this together, sending you strength
I suffer from depression and anxiety all my life on medication going to work helps when I retired did volunteering loved it
And what if your married to the person who blames you for not getting better? They believe your lack of discipline, lack of obedience, weak faith in Jesus’ healing powers, & so on is why your still sick
You dont know how much you are helping people. I was hopeless and suicidal. Your channel has literally helped me more than therapists or medications. I really like how you talk from personal experience which really validates us because I usually end up feeling I am the only one screwed up in this world.
Medications can mess you up a whole lot more. I know from experience and I've seen it with other people as well. I know this goes against current culture and the quick fix with medication. Getting other help with a good therapist will be more beneficial in the long run.
Trust me, I'm really messed up from a benzo I took for panic attacks and then messed up from the antidepressants they added to help with those side effects I had. I can't tell you how awful this has truly been for me. I just want to warn people, and I'm not the only one. Please be safe. Things can get worse.
If you have been suicidal, that indicates a serious dopaminergic imbalance. That means talk therapy is not enough to treat your chronic condition
me to
I feel suicidal everyday 30 attempts God doesn't want me either
@MrJCerqueira Or it could mean your medication is making you feel that way. That did happen to me. You're still believing in the "chemical imbalance" thing.
Most days, I can't even bring myself to do the basics for myself. I go through a burst of trying trying trying but nothing changes the way I feel.
I feel you. I’m trying as well. Therapy, medicine, meditation etc & I don’t feel any better. Hang in there. You’re not alone.❤
Be strong..💪❤
takes a lot to be patient with life doesn't it?! We have to learn what strength really means. It's not just a word...it's carrying on. One doesn't have to be feeling just so happy to be growing and developing strength.
I feel trapped in so many complex and threatening life situations right now. I only hold on sometimes by a thread. Each day is just a little bit different and I have little moments of little joys. My hope is that I have had less horrible times and so my life just might get better.
You are on a whirling planet in a totally strange and huge universe. I guess that's pretty interesting. There's a video and it's here on youtube called "Inner Worlds Outer Worlds" that's pretty distracting. It might provide you with a little interlude of distraction from how difficult things are. Sometimes solutions just aren't available and the only thing we can do is hold on and do even just little things and that's a huge accomplishment.
This channel here can be helpful...He gives some great achievable "tips" that are huge to a person who is feeling really heavy and sad.
I’m right there with you. Taking adderall is the only thing that made me normal and looking forward to do basic everyday things I had to go off of it but if I could be like I was on it I’d have no issue. Maybe something is chemically off
Do 1 small thing. Empty one wastebasket, or pick up 1 piece of trash and put it in a wastebasket.
While waiting for the microwave, do a small thing. Put 1 dish from the drying rack into the cupboards.
Etc.
Oh my. I needed this. I am a single woman who raised a son. He's gone now. I was doing dishes this morning. Life is just work. I work until 6, if I cook I'm not eating and cleaned up until 8:30, I sleep and do it all over again. My free time is laundry, housework, yardwork. I'm so tired of living. I'm completely over it.
Can definitely relate to this😢
Admittedly the loss of my very much loved husband last year has had a huge impact, but as he was diagnosed for ten years with dementia, it was also a huge relief to know that he was out of his suffering. I’ve got to a point where nothing I do has any positive impact, and it all feels so totally worthless. I’ve never felt quite as void as I do now, despite having depressive episodes over fifty years. I sincerely hope that there is an end to this.
I warmly suggest join a gym to see if you can find most people in your area to grab a coffee or just stay healthy together. Sending hugs
Getting a puppy might help.
I am so sorry. This should never have happened to you, you didn’t deserve to lose him 💔 maybe one day if you feel it would help, you could share your story with others who have also lost someone close to them. Even if online - on Reddit or just writing your story down for yourself. I know that for myself, hearing that others have been through something I have makes a huge difference
The thought of who would take care of and love my dogs the way that I do. That's what keeps me going.
Same ❤❤🎉🎉
I am a mom and grandma but I don’t think I would be alive today if not for dogs and cats - they were, and are, my life line. My love for animals literally saved my life. I am grateful to have that one abiding passion - loving and caring for my pets.
Same here, but when they are gone, I can follow
@@MoshieJ This is why I stayed in a bad marriage 😢 my animals 😢
My exact thoughts. Exactly. I hold on for my baby dogs. That’s it.
I Pray for Strength and Safety every morning. At 66 y/o I'm just burned out. My energy level has dropped off so dramatically just due to age.
But I'm Thankful I am Healthy. I just get through the days. I have no husband, kids or grandkids so the only reason I get out of bed is for a Great Cup Of Coffee and go from there. Best Wishes To All And God Bless! 😊 🙏 ❤️
I add hot chocolate mix to my instant coffee, eat a fig bar, take a prescription pill and a multi vitamin pill, have another cup of coffee and eat another fig bar . The year I was 66 was very stressful. I spent a few days in the hospital with pneumonia -- in a room with a 90-year old retired artist who was not supposed to get out of her bed -- but she did --so I had to push the button to call the nurse for her.
I'm 83 now.
Maybe a little lonely abandoned dog or cat Is waiting fir you
that is a wonderful idea! @@aprilapril2
Sounds like you have a retirement! That is something hugely significant to be thankful.
Sounds like you have a retirement. That is something hugely significant to be thankful.
From age 2 I've felt like this is a complete waste of time. I'm 60 now, still feel the same.
me too. I'm 68. And I only just found out why...I was sexually abused by my father since baby to age 6 when he died. And my mom was narcissistic. Did something happen to you at age 2?
@@janicenakonechny3674 No, I just watched my entire family always under control of work or school times and thought it was a complete waste. Being raised in England too didn't help, I'm super sensitive and we were raised harsh for our own good apparently🙄 I have however found out that without this attitude and raising tough I learned so much more about life than I would have.
I'm sorry about your situation. That's a pretty rough road you went on. 😬 Always remember we experience what we do for important reasons. I guess we find that reason out when we die and go home 🏡
thanks@@iamthatiam44444 I have learned about those important reasons the last few years, and they have helped me so much. I agree school and how the work world works and it's not good for us. Way to learn from your rough upbringing.
me too, I'm beyond ready for a new channel in life. But some days I don't think I'd even want to come back as a human again if I had the opportunity.
@@JJSolitude I hear ya!! Me too, done with this nonsense 😒
I feel like it’s every day. Is that just me? I can’t remember the last day that felt normal or good.
Every day I wake up it doesn’t matter what’s going on, I just don’t have the energy for it at all. If it was up to me I’d almost never get out of bed. Too bad for me though bc I have a family so I have to. I’m a real pleasure to be around, let me tell you.
@@joleaneshmoleane8358 cranky schmanky 😉
I understand both of you and I hate to bring more happy news it doesn't get easier as you get older. I haven't felt well physically for about 10 years, and mentally unwell much longer. You're not alone in these feelings. Vicki
Μe too..
Definitely not just you. I used to not feel this way it’s like a chemical imbalance. Adderall was the only thing that made me feel like doing basic everyday things and enjoy them. I had to go off of it but I have no idea how to feel this way naturally
I tend towards multitasking. The two things that help me with my anhedonia are 1) crafting or coloring while listening to a book/podcast and 2) walking the neighborhood while picking up trash (i.e., "litter patrol"). That way I get my "daily steps " in and can do something that creates a visual difference. An added bonus is that excessive screen time tends to make me feel unproductive because I am not creating anything visual that I can point to.
Yes I need to see evidence of positive change every day. It helps for me to write task lists in different colored pens & doodles, make it pretty, in my planner and check them off so I have a physical reference of accomplishments. I also clean something for 5-15 minutes to keep momentum going with daily chores.
@@myvortex5DI try very hard to get the stuff I don't want to do first then plan a trip when I'm done
Excellent coping strategies!
Thank you for sharing what works for you. I think I would like them too ❤
That is exactly what I do. Picking up litter is almost meditative, and I don't think my husband understands. It is pleasing to see the end result. I am very visual.
I also listen to books or old radio shows all day while doing other things.
What the conversation needs to be about is why we have created and sustain a society that makes a large proportion of the population so miserable that they feel they can’t tolerate it and if they do they are depressed.
You said the quiet part out loud.
I noticed a lot of people in the commens are saying they only keep going because of their kids. A lof people don't have kids. I don't have kids. At least 20% of women my age don't have kids, and more and more younger women are not having kids. I've never wanted kids and I'm glad I never had them. I don't think kids would make a difference in how I feel or don't feel, it's just a focus of energy. Also, personally speaking, I wouldn't have had kids just to feel better, it would have irritated me a lot.
I wonder if these people who had kids to focus on, it was just a distraction from the problem. Now their kids are gone they are forced to look at the problem again. Kids never cured it,
@@penneyreed7316 I believe a lot of people have kids for selfish reasons, to fill a void or have someone to distract you from how much your own life sucks..
Having kids is selfish alone for how we are already destroying this planet.
@@SaturnCrashing"We" are not destroying the planet. We are allowing the big corporations to destroy the planet.
I always wanted kids. I had kids. They were extremely cruel to me and I finally wished that I had never had kids.
Luckily they are adults now and I don't have to be around them any more.
I thank God for my dog...He gives me a reason to get out of bed each morning.
What is your dog's name, @artmcfarter2678? @unitednations
Same ❤🐾
Agreed, same for me
It was the same for me for the last 18 years, until my dog Cleo died almost a year ago. Now my life feels so meaningless, I miss her so much and my reason to keep going has died with her. My mom died 10 years ago, it changed me forever, now my dog.. The fear of losing everyone I care for to death is always present now in my mind, it is crippling. I feel lost in life
Agreed! I’ve got three. I don’t have too much to feel down. They’re all so different. I’ve an 11 year old Ridgeback joey, 3 year old Malinois, Willow and a staffie x Labrador x Chihuahua, Bella, nearly two. They’re all so different! They keep me fit and entertained.
Going to designate 1 day a week to do nothing from sun up to sundown. No cleaning, no working, no tv, no listening to youtube, no social media, no cooking - will cook ahead. Will let you know if it helps. I hope to be ready to be involved in life for the following six days.
I’m doing the same, but also fasting for a whole day - no food prep at all!
I do dedicate Sundays to only doing what I feel like doing.
If I don't then I go into the week still exhausted
Ahh, Friday dusk to Saturday dusk, was my day for nothingness. I did have trouble staying off You Tube and believe since I was able to cut out all else, I will be able to manage it next week. By Late Saturday, my mind was organizing tasks and I was faunching at the bit to get going. Even the usual mundane tasks sounded fun! Today, I am fully rested, up early and doing household tasks with ease and delight! Whew!!
Love it @lightisgood5023!!
I’ve been saying since I was a child … “wouldn’t it be great if we didn’t have to eat??” No one ever agrees, LOL!
Me: “Wait, hear me out … No grocery store, no putting away the food, no throwing away the food (you didn’t eat). No prepping, cooking, cleaning up, you wouldn’t even need a kitchen or any appliances & you’d never have to clean the kitchen or do dishes.
Would save so much time & money!😅
Turn your kitchen into an art room, gym, sauna, office, etc.😂
We all need a purpose to live... Otherwise, it is perfectly sane to wonder why you should bother to get up and do something. And that is why getting old is so depressing.
This title really grabbed my attention! Before Covid I was a positive go-getter! Now I don’t care about really anything except staying home chillin or taking my dog out in nature. Everything else is truly a burden! I’ve been a Massage Therapist for 23 years and was once passionate about my work. Now I don’t care about it anymore…people are annoying and I just want to be alone! I don’t know this person I’ve become but I love her anyway…I just wish she could truly relax and enjoy life moment to moment but duty calls 😩
Covid2020 enabled people to slow down & take a good look at everything going on around them, to them & what we are participating in. The Great Awakening / 2020 vision.
Almost everything/everyone we thought we knew, loved, thought we had to do is either a lie or not what we thought.
It’s reverse world, so many things are stupid & unnecessary. So many people are shallow or programmed & we can’t relate to any of it & there’s no going back, it’s literally the Matrix.🥹
Getting outside in the Sun & exercising is about all that really matters, LOL.
It is a core sense of self preservation to still care for others.
Definitely me. Then I feel guilt for feeling that way. Forcing myself to go out w two friends this weekend which is rare, I really want to stay in and hibernate lol.
Yes! The guilt!
You don’t feel like doing anything at all but can’t rest or relax, it’s like you’re crippled & stuck in the guilt and anxiety unable to do anything but dwell in your feelings of failure!
The guilt is real!! But then, why feel guilt.. for me I don’t have two friends.. not even one for that matter.. Ppl move on eventually when you stop engaging. Because they do not understand the depths of depression 😢
@@GigiGeorgiagangsounds like me.. No friends at all.
@@BradfordDobson-lu6id It’s bittersweet.. Because every “friend” I’ve ever had betrayed me in one way or another.. I take solace that I made the decision not to make friends anymore.. That way nobody can say they got one up on me. It gets lonely at times.. but I’d rather be lonely and alone rather than lonely in a fake relationship. I wish I could meet someone like me☺️ I hope you find peace.. because at the end of the day, friends or not, that’s what matters the most. I’m working hard at that ‘my friend’.. I wish you the best 🩵🦋
I said to my husband last night before I even saw this “being self aware and having consciousness is truly a burden”. I hate that I feel that way too. But I do. A ball of chaos spinning around a sun with sentient beings left to wonder what we are, why we are, and where go we go after death is burdensome.
Described very well.
Oops sounds like you zoomed out too far! I do that almost every day. I think I need to zoom in and stay a while...
@@thethinkerer me too!
I like floating in the either. Zooming in sounds like a forced walk. Maybe we can choose one or the other?
I agree.
One thing that has helped me is to take baths instead of showers. I take a bath every night. I light a candle, I listen to an audiobook or music or I set up my laptop and watch a show or movie. I drink sparkling water or tea or sometimes a glass of wine.
I went from dreading taking a shower to looking forward to my bath every night. It's so relaxing and feels like a reward at the end of every day.
Interesting. But sounds like a lot of work I don’t have it in me to do.
@@chelseabuffington1732 just start with a bath. You don't even have to fill the tub before you get in, just sit in the tub and turn the water on. You can work up to the wine and candles.
You are the only one who says what I feel.
I find it increasingly difficult to even get out of bed.
I know a person like this. She has CPTSD, battles existential dread and anhedonia, chronic and worsening pain, and chronic and insomnia. When things get too impossible for her, she relapses (she also has BPD and self harms, and also has severe AUD, the binge drinking type).
@@inoshishi8Maybe she needs EMDR therapy.
@@beverlyhayshouston2770 She's planning to begin CBT. She's iffy about EMDR and wants to ask more Qs first. Thx for the suggestion. 🌸
Wow, I just came across this video by accident and have to say thanks to algorithm for the suggestion, because literally I learned more from you in these 24 minutes than I did during months of therapy. Your explanations were very understandable and also it made me realize things I didn't understand at the time they were happening. Thank you!
Caring more for others during a depressive time is the other side of the coin: when NOT depressed, and still seemingly unable to improve anything about our lives (yet we function), putting our energies into helping others comes naturally...because our latent energies HAVE to go somewhere! "I can't help myself...you need help? Great. I'm there!" It takes us out of our mindspace and into the world...at least a little, for a time, and though it's ephemeral, it is pleasant at the moment.
I spent my life this way. I know that this is true. I could not count on the world...but the world could always count on me. For a time, that bolstered my shattered self image.
Exactly……Thank you for sharing
I am going through that phase, every little thing seems a task.Existence feels like a burden
I’m used to being anxious, where I feel like my brain cares too much about literally everything. Lately, my anxiety is actually significantly improved, but I have days where I feel like I’m moving in slow motion or like I’m looking at my life from the outside as someone else. Someday, I hope to be free of both persistent anxiety and depression.
🙏🏼❤️
Me too. I am either in a depressive fog or fight/flight mode.
@@kathleenp.3598, sending so much love and comfort your way. I’ve really been working on mindfulness and staying in the present moment. I’ve also just been more cognizant of how I spend my time in general (reaching out to friends, spending time in nature). It helps!
I think I can care about others even though I don’t care about myself is because I just don’t want anyone to feel unworthy, unloved, or uncared for. I can’t bear it and I think it’s because I know how it feels. It’s too late for me but maybe I can help stay the negative feelings for someone else.
I think the trick is to care for yourself so that you yourself never feel unloved or uncared for. When I find out how I’ll let you know.
💯
You are worthy, you are loved, you are cared for. The past is not the future.
@@rollandallen9648 ❤
@@rollandallen9648 You probably mean well, but this sounds like quite the disconnect from the main comment.
I listened this driving to work today. I watched it driving home too. Nothjng crazy, just during routine traffic.Was a rough day today. From getting out of bed to every single 25 mins gone, counting down until i can leave the call center. To go home to an empty apartment. I have no living family or kids or anything. And i have to do it again tomorrow.. and then I get to come home and sleep. Thank you for these tips. Im trying to stay hopeful...
I hope you mean that you listened to this while driving, not that you actually watched it.
@helenryan5217 oh yeah that's what I mean
❤🌺🤗 xxxx
Call center..yikes,they createdepressiin when I've done them way back.
Could you work at a plant shop or Cat Sanctuary or a small bookstore,or I'm thinking of temp work and you can say No to a gig if you're deeply down.
Ah,I'm thinking also during the next months getting warm,like selling plants,gifts,jewelry in one if those outdoor Stalls.
Also look up Volunteer jobs for ideas you might be able to switch your Job.
,I'vealso got hired almost every time.
I worked a farmers market,and a folk festival.
I know ya got to pay bills,just thinking of ideas.
Also Zoom has tons if different groups online.And Librairies have lectures,and films,and community centers can be social.😂❤😅
I feel this 100%. I’m in nearly the same situation. I’m honestly amazed at myself for arriving at work or making it to 5pm.
I feel that way rn im going to get up make coffee eggs bacon drink water wish me luck.
I feel like this everyday, fibromyalgia robs everything. No energy, no motivation, no enthusiasm. Even sitting down watching Netflix feels like a chore some days, even when I can’t physically do anything else. You’re lucky to only feel like this once in a while. For those of us with autoimmune diseases and other chronic illnesses, this is our everyday!
I have severe osteoarthritis, so I know what you are feeling
Saw this channel for the first time today....And I say thank you because I did sit up in bed and celebrated my little victory. Learning how and why my brain is working is a start to change my life one day at a time! Thank You Dr. Eilers
"You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you" - John Bunyan
For me, it’s always a burden, but right now having to deal with a coworker giving me the silent treatment makes it even worse. When I went to the boss about it, he said I should go to her, talk to her, and then he continued on telling me how important her job is to our office. And, she switched the story around said that I had gotten mad at her. She did this last year and it went on for several months. It makes my job very uncomfortable.
Your boss is a moron. Your co-workers attitude, feelings, behavior etc. is not your responsibility. That's all their problem, screw them all. And btw every one is replaceable in any job. No one is that important to anything. Nothing but laziness and gaslighting.
That’s toxic..start looking for a new place to work where you will be appreciated.
It’s so hard to work with people like that. It’s usually a woman. Flip the script and hold up a pretend mirror. This is not about you. It’s about her and her insecurities. Just be polite and professional and never mention her to the boss again. Men hate that stuff. 😂😂😂 Try praying for her. Miracles happen.
Lost a sense of purpose when the birds left the nest, then when Mom died and I no longer had her to care for, then loss of a relationship. It leads to a sense of having seen all life has to offer, been there, done that.
Now its time to live for yourself! You’ve done your job taking care of your loved ones… now you get to focus on loving yourself! ♥️💙💜
@@KandyKoatedKrafts Thanks for the encouragement. I am doing just that. Just broke up with my BF and this may turn out to be a year of incredible personal growth.
@@a.d.b535 that sounds great! Maybe you could get a pet also 🌷
@@attheranch873 Pets are great, but actually spending time with myself, learning what I like, trying new things, meeting new people, and savoring the moment. It seems to be helping.
Volunteer at an animal shelter. Those babies need you.
I can be going through a severe depressive episode and totally not care about myself. But if someone I love has a crisis during this time all the sudden I can snap out of my depression and become totally productive to help others I love ❤️
It reminds me of being like Superhuman. The adrenaline rush hits and people do things that they normally could not!!!!
Can’t totally relate to what you are saying.
Ohhhhhhh going to do a forced walk now. Forced walking hahahahahahahahha. But...at least i have legs that work and I am able to walk. Even tho it feels like tortured walking, I am grateful.
Do you ever feel better after dragging yourself along a park? I do forced walks, rarely made me feel better though. It's a whole different story on a day I feel better.
Keep going 😊
@shamalk Same! I hate hearing "get outside " or "take a walk" when I'm feeling down, because even when I force myself to, I feel exactly the same afterwards (or maybe worse, because it didn't help). When I'm feeling fine though, it's like, gee, I should do that more often! Once I'm done doing all the other things I'm up to because I feel okay, that is! 😂
I forced myself this morning to walk. I listened to this podcast and I am glad I did. Sometimes these golden nuggets are there to find to help us. Thank you Scott.
@@shineon_7660Well I know sometimes nothing is a cure all...but at least when walking or exercising you are giving a gift to your body and your future existence. Muscles and bones deteriorate and very quickly as one progresses through life. Life then becomes even more complex and being unhealthy just adds to sadness and confusion.
Going to the gym was the one thing I kept doing, even at rock bottom. No matter how worthless and burnt out I felt at the end of the day, I could always look myself in the mirror and say "Damn, I look good." Look good, feel good is real.
I am 66 and grew up focusing on others. ( caregivers) so I put myself on the back burner. To me it was normal. But now I know how big of a mistake it was. I lost my health over it.
If you don’t have your health you really do not have a life.
Depression follows
I'm schizophrenic, bipolar and mildly autistic. I have no friends, no job and no skills. I've tried for years to rectify these things and got nowhere. Give me a reason to live.
My friend, that sounds gnarly. I only know of one thing that helped someone with different but severe mental health issues, they started working at an animal shelter. They never could with humans but helping those defenseless abandoned pets and making them happy gave them life... I don't know if that's a possibility for you. I wish you luck. I don't know you but I want you to be ok... 😢 virtual hugs
The animal shelter sounds like a fantastic idea. Animals sense the people that need them the most. Try being a Veterinarian Tech. There is a place and a purpose for everyone in this world. Write affirmative messages to yourself and place them where you can rewrite the script. Try looking up and listening to Dr. Jordan Peterson for some advice and encouragement. He is so brilliant and we are blessed to have him living in our lifetimes. Sending a virtual hug. Believe in yourself. You can do anything you set your mind to.
I'm not sure if you will in this video, but I feel like I haven't heard you use the word demoralization at all. I only just really began to understand what it is today. I realized I'm not actually depressed I'm horrendously demoralized. I think that might be what's going on with a lot of us. Like no matter what we do we'll never crawl out of the pit, no matter how good tomorrow might be, it will always get worse again, no matter how hard we try, we are underappreciated and feel hopeless. I didn't realize that was demoralization. That's what's wrong with me.
I’m not familiar with this; thank you for sharing ❤
Yep, I stopped having dreams a long time ago because of this
In the past, I've done a little mind trick of "ok, I started out this life as a baby/small child. I wouldn't want to neglect a baby/small child... what are some of the fundamental needs that baby/child needs?". Somehow, this has enough of a "do for others" prompt sensation that I'm able to then "get on with it".
Thank you so much for this video! You've gained a new subscriber from it ;)
Interesting, I've tried everything, maybe I'll try that😢
Excellent idea, I’ll try it!!!!🌷
WOW that’s a great way to approach it
I do the same thing. Honestly it’s the only way I can consistently take care of myself.
I don't comment often but I wanted to comment about this. when I was a teenager I was very depressed, but it helped me develop a spiritual connection. In a moment of contemplation I was shown that the reason for my depression was my level of self absorption and told that if I just did something for someone else I would feel better. I did. I was also shown that " There is a whole world on the other side of your nose". I thought that was a little humorous, but it gave me a different perspective. I was also shown a leaf, bragging about its independence from the tree, as it was withering and dying. I would suggest that having a relationship with your higher power, however you picture it, helps you to keep your balance and receive inner nourishment. The leaves that stay connected to the tree, live.
Yes, some mornings I count down the things I need to do before I can go to sleep again. Mundane things seems so senseless some days. Thanks for the tips.
living with a brain injury from Menengieal encephalitis in 2019, lost some vision, brain damage..living in a fast paced world inundating every moment with buzzing, blurring, whirling, buy now, quick times running out, on sale!
This really helped me out man. thank you. aim in a real rut.
Dr. Scott, you are ONE OF A KIND. And, I mean that in the BEST POSSIBLE WAY. Thank you SO MUCH. Rosemarie ❤️
It‘s so funny how you always think that nobody is going to understand your metaphors but they are always so on point! Again - great video!
Dr Scott going full disclosure on how bad his life really was. You don’t get this honesty with many people, period! Thank you again for exposing where life can go. In one month out of TMS treatments (36) feeling so much better 👍
I used to 100% feel that way when I experienced chronic burnout at my last job. It got to the point where I hardly had energy to do anything on my first day off, and then finally I gained a little bit of energy during the last half of my second day off (to actually do things that needed to get done). And then when I went back to work, I was maybe at a 50% energy level (at most) after my 2 days off. Life literally felt like a trap, where I knew that I needed to go to work and do all of the daily things to survive. I literally felt like my purpose in life was just to do what I needed to do to stay alive basically, and I wasn't able to hardly do anything enjoyable along the way. My stress levels stayed at the highest point (just thinking about going to work the next day made me feel stress, as I wondered how, or if I could do the whole day all over again!) And eventually, I couldn't quite di it anymore, and I couldn't force a smile on my face, and my boss noticed as I was trying so hard to keep moving the mop back and forth, as I was expected to mop all of the floor surfaces in the common areas of the hotel (the elevator landings on every floor, all of the hotel entrances, the lobby floor, the business centre floor, the gym and laundry room floors, the dining room and kitchen floors, and the floor surfaces of 4 public bathrooms). The common phrase that I heard was, "It only takes 5 minutes!!!" A phrase that the hotel manager used when she seen me struggling to get my list of cleaning duties done, while trying to run the breakfast buffet and keep the dining room tables clean all by myself. Now I feel sorry for anyone who has to work in an understaffed workplace, where the company they work for expects them to hold down two separate job positions at the same time (instead of hiring a janitor, for example). It breaks down the people who really care about getting every task done well, and the boss doesn't have empathy for them, and then let's you go because they don't like the fact that you are requesting other people to help with even the smallest of tasks (where the ladies working at the front desk wouldn't even water the plants that are sitting 5 steps away from them). I just hope and pray that I never have to feel that way, to that extreme, ever again! It was quite depressing to feel like I had to basically run a 10km race everyday, just to keep myself alive. I hope that better practices get enforced in workplace environments one day, where the owners and managers of businesses are really forced to follow any labour laws that govern that sort of thing. A person should only be working one job position, and nothing more. And they should be allowed to stand still for 10 seconds to breathe, without their boss barking at them about it. That moment when you finally finish a task, after running around like crazy, and you finally get to stand still for 10 seconds; only to have your boss turn their head, seeing you standing there momentarily, and then getting irritated by it. Lord God, please help this world get better 🙏💕.
Having ADHD and raising my kids who have ADHD make me feel like it takes so much work to do anything. Especially things that are boring or hard. So thank you for this video.
Keep going! X
To cope with a hostile world, I became good at dissociating. So in times of hardship the first thing I do is abandon myself. Perhaps that is why it is harder to care for myself than others? It was not the others that I abandoned.
That is a brilliant observation!
This hits home for me too.
Same tbh. It's the only way I can function, if not fully present. To try and bring myself out of it will cause a severe depression drop, or an unmanageable panic attack.
i feel this soo much..... I have quite literally been "living" my life vicariously through the tv for a couple of years now. I used to hardly every even watch TV. I went a couple years without a smart phone even... but now I wake up and stare at the screen until I fall asleep. repeat. I can barely get myself to shower. I have started eating better(aka not frozen pizza every single night) .. but i still can't bring myself to cook so I just eat spring mix and stay hungry all the time instead of even trying. idk wtf is wrong with me. I want to live so badly. I havent had my drivers license in several years(im 32) and feel sooo fucking alone and trapped because of it... and because well, I am. I feel so hopeless with the way everythign in the world is already and is going. I'm sick af so i can't fulfill whatever purpose I could have if I wasn't disabled. I've just completely shut down. waiting to die is definitely the best way to describe it. but I wish I didn't feel this way. I just want to be happy and to help other people, but I can't even help my own semi-damned self.
I feel my worst when possessed by uselessness! That’s why at least a new job (even though it’s meh) helps me to escape from that. During tough times will try not to forget that it’s my temporary malfunction and stay away from making any decisions based on how I feel.
Thank you for the advice!
Wow, I'm not alone in this! I work so hard not to feel this way, but I fail miserably!!
The 3 things to do:
1. Dont just live for yourself 6:16
At the times you dont care what happens to you, living for someone/-thing else is gonna help you. (could be people, animals, a cause, etc.)
2. Figure out how to live without a reward 12:00
Know the episode will pass and find ways to "live normally" until the episode is over
3. Dont function on emotions alone18:08
Know that your emotions are not always reliable and don't make decisions just on emotions (lack of emotion is also an emotion)
When my children grew up and went to college, my husband and I divorced. I found myself living alone for the first time in many years, and I stopped functioning. I experienced depression and anhedonia. Doing the daily chores of living became too much. I discovered that I was happy to do things for others (my family), but I, somehow, was not worth the effort to do the chores to sustain my daily life. I continue to struggle with this and am researching how psilocybin might help me reframe my thinking.
Jordan Peterson says to treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping. Treat yourself like a good friend.
God is with you.❤
After suffering for four straight months with various intensities of anhedonia, I learned that I could still do things when in such a depressive state. That one insight alone literally saved my life.
When my daughter passed away I wanted to run away and hide from this traumatic reality. I might of too if my responsibility to others was not a factor but my brain, and my emotions were able to reason it out so I did not make any rash decisions. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve been the perfect example of not being able to cope, and tend to flight not fight but, that only ended me back at square one. Thanks for this helpful conversation about examples of what to do when just existing is a trial.❤
Excellent advice from someone who has expwroenced sheer pain and unspeakable grief with and courage. God bless you.
Love yourself more , not in an egoic way but in an unconditional way like you love your kids.
Hi! Mike here, long-time lurker, first-time commenter, soon to be subscriber.
I’ve been dealing with major depressive and anxiety disorders for awhile now and have been through a variety of treatments with little permanent improvement. I recently hit a low point where my passive suicidal ideations took a turn for the worse and I started having thoughts about how I might actually do it. I immediately recognized that this was a huge red flag and immediately reached out to my support network (close friends) who were able to keep me company during this difficult time. It was then that I realized your first point in this video - don’t just live for yourself. I’m living for my friends. I’m living for my family. I’m living for the people I interact with on a regular basis. I just don’t want to do that to them and I haven’t had those thoughts since this realization. I hope this story helps those who need to hear it. ❤
I go to sleep almost every night hoping its the last time and that i never wake up.
This gets better.
So sorry to hear that.
I suffer from depression also
Have you got medical checks done.
I will prayer for you it can get better.
Take good care of yourself.❤❤
Wow! Things have got to change...
My brother died he was alcoholic and the last words he said to mum was tell bernadette I don’t want be here
@@patriciaflynn7877 yes, i go to therapy and have bp2.
I really needed to hear that thing about the "false" depression! I have lived many years feeling unmotivated, exhausted and anhedonic. Looking back, it has been much due to that I have stopped doing the things I love and find pleasure in, because doing the bare minimum was all I had the energy to do. Now that I actually am in most severe depressive episode so far, I feel a bit stupid looking back to those times I should've done more to feel better. But now knowing this, Im not gonna beat myself up about that, but instead try to make better choises going forward. Thank you so much for these videos!
You’re a bad assDr.Scott! Thank you for caring!✌🏻
Life IS a burden. Everything I do is purely out of obligation. Nothing is pleasurable or fun anymore. I just do what I have to do....going through the motions.
You are very generous, thank you and also for understanding us.
How many of us are going through this? The comments and this vid. makes me think its too many of us.
As I read the comments, something big jumps out to me. We are all saying similar things concerning sadness, overwhelm, loneliness , and lack of joy in life. What can help these states?? It occurs to me that CONNECTION could really help us. Why do so many of us live alone, and complain that rent is too much, and bills and chores are taking all free time and money? We were never designed to be alone, doing it by ourselves. What if we shared housing and bills and household chores? I want my own room, but really would like to live with cooperative people who struggle like I do. We help each other this way. Of course everything won't be 100% on your own terms, it will require all to be flexible and a lot of give and take, but it would be more in line with a communal life that is the real norm for us humans. I think about all the homes and apartments I see daily, where people don't realize that RIGHT NEXT DOOR or down the hall are people feeling lonely and disconnected just like them. We need to get together again, as medicine for what truly ails us as humans.
Really glad I found this channel. 51 yr old widow, diagnosed bipolar at 26, over the years it went to severe mixed bipolar 1 with psychotic features, borderline personality disorder, ptsd.. some days I'm in to of the world and so looking forward to the day. Yet too many others I don't get out of bed, and wouldn't get out of it if the house caught fire. Never been suicidal per say..but not caring if I were alive or not is something I feel way too often. I hate living with this brain. Any and all help is so welcome
I think one of the most important things you said on this video, Doc, was advising people not to do the things that depressed people do. In other words, loafing around, staying up late, etc. This rung an inner bell with me... like, it alerted me to this.
DBT is really good for working your way to this perspective because it's main focus is on dealing with overwhelming emotions and not attaching to them, not letting them drive the bus. As someone who's had anxiety for pretty much my whole life, it is so hard to not identify with these strong emotions. This video is such a good reminder that if we can just trust that it is a wave that will pass, it will pass more quickly and easily.
Perfect - and a little eerie - that the Universe sent this message to me through you at this very moment. I've been saying these exact words the last few days at a very critical point in my life. THANK YOU ! ! !
It's not that everything seems overwhelming. It's the feeling of incompetency -- the inability to be a viable economic unit.
24:11 Ding! Ding! Ding! THAT is how I feel. People have called me lazy my entire life because I couldn't make sense of spending a whole life as a slave. I keep asking why, and the answer is usually "because everyone has to.". Which is, of course, a load of crap. Stupid Trump has never worked a day in his miserable life. It seems like the most privileged are the nastiest. Sorry. Rambling. Awesome video.
It’s the overwhelm for me! Always something and never enough it seems.
@@Jenjenn1111 Yes, for me too. Some days it feels like just the activities for basic survival take $10.00 worth of energy, and I only have a nickel to work with. The one tried and true tool for me is to deepen my grounding, my connection with the Earth. Grandmother Earth calibrated my energy if I'm connected properly, and I always end up able to shift out of overwhelm if I remember to do this. I may still only have a nickels worth of energy to work with, but I'm able to leverage that nickel for maximum benefit, which often starts a cascade of gradually increasing my energy. Doing one small thing usually leads me to the next small thing I can manage, and things unfold a bit from there. I may not come close to having $10.00 worth of energy, but the $3.00 flow I managed to get going sure beats just having a nickel.
I love how you don't sugarcoat anything and tell things just exactly how it is. You really know this. Thank you so much for doing this and I hope you keep on doing it you're the best I've ever found here so far and I wish you will go further in your career and life. Others I can't really follow but you, you really reach out and got into my soul and pull me out of the darkness every time. Thank you again.
I’m surprised that this man’s video actually covers the real things I am dealing with. He get’s it. So many depression books and videos don’t. I feel grateful knowing there’s a person out there who truly understands, even if he doesn’t know me.