Thank You, Scott. I am a 71 yr old single gal who has no family and a few friends. I struggle with feeling “ dis-connected “ from the World. Your very empathetic words are saving lives and truly helping people get through another day. I am sending warm and loving energy to all of us who are struggling. Hang-on everyone.
I am a67-year-old married lady with no family other than a narcissist husband of almost 30 years. I have no way out because of $. I do have two friends who live about 400 miles away I get to see once or twice a year and that is my only escape. I have struggled with depression since childhood but so far, because of my faith, I keep hanging on.
A psychatrist once told me that i will deal with depression for the rest of my life when I had only just turned 20 :(.. im 22 now and even though i have terrible days and anxiety, my quality of life has increased by like 1000%, i did it all myself because the mental health system is so flawed. I'm still trying to fully recover. But I'm glad i didn't give up
Same! I had 2 years of therapy to start me off. I couldn’t bring myself to do meds because it felt effortful and expensive to find the right one that would work for me. So, I used other outlets. I read books. I’ve been clinging onto journaling like I have been since 13. And I worked on things one step at a time. And I’m so much better for it. And knowing that my episodes are cyclical and have waves help. Because I know that the lows are temporary, and that they were getting shorter and shorter and lighter each time
I know, right? Since my oldest son took his own life in 2021, every day is like this. I'm alive and breathing for my youngest son, but that's about it. S**cide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but it leaves permanent problems behind for us 'survivors'. My own family can't understand why I say my life is ruined, and they knew him! Irreplaceable son, human being, love of my life!
Wow, you said what I say every day. Im suffering from something,.. that caused insomnia, anxiety,... and depression. Guilt and unforgiveable forgivenes are unbearable for me. 🙏
@annehedonia156 I am sorry to hear that for you and that you have to go through this. I don't know why, but something came up on my mind and it felt that I had to share it with you. I hope it can give you a bit of peace of mind ❤️🩹 m.ua-cam.com/video/a-vc6Xk-hyc/v-deo.html&pp=gAQBiAQB
" *Nobody* is qualified to tell you that you are hopeless. " That's brutally liberating, but it also feels like an assuring hand on the shoulder. Thank you.
Some people are helpless though, just because there are cases where people defy odds, doesn't mean there aren't thousands who don't. Some people have very hopeless situations and it's incredibly cruel to deny this reality to comfort and prioritize our feelings over the reality of the situations we don't have to live with. It reminds me of how in the autistic community some people say having a cure for autism is offensive, this is easy to say when you're high functioning with autism, but what about the severe cases where people can't speak and spend the entire day banging their head on the walls repeatedly and have to be restrained and shackled to prevent them from harming themselves? Do they not deserve a cure? Just because you managed to overcome, or don't have it so bad, or were able to make the best out of your circumstances doesn't negate some people don't have that chance whatsoever.
Best quote ‘some of us are playing Mario Bros, others are playing Dark Souls,’ I’m in the pits currently but this video has inspired me not to give up. Thank you
I'm playing Silver Surfer, Ninja Gaiden and Battletoads all at the exact same time. Already beaten the Sphere skill game from Trials Evolution and gotten the world record for it as well. That's how hardcore I am.. watch?v=TMdvQql4tyY
@@Cloven137 Haha, I doubt it. I raise you nearly 20 minutes of world records in N+. Regarded one of the hardest platform games to speedrun. You had to do 5 levels in a row perfectly, before registering any of the times in them. I did 4 other perfect lvl runs at the same as each one of these clips. Life difficulty is still harder than all of these together, though. I'll write the book about it. Read it later. Gonna be called 'You Won't Believe My Story'. Epic video. Should have millions of views.. watch?v=Pqghwml2CxU
My husband was told by professionals that he would just always be anxious, and he would always be stuck on meds. Turns out we were both dealing with mold toxicity from our house. Left the house, got off the meds, and we are doing better every day.
most mental health issues have health related origins. but people cant get help from a doctor and psychologists and therapists learned about the mind so they cant help too much either, sometimes it works, fix your mind fix your body, but more times its faster and healthier to fix the body and the mind follows
Y’all rely way too much on businesses and doctors. Realize that your Brain is super powerful and can mentally heal itself. It can cry on command if trained (actors), it can control your body temperature etc. It’s so powerful, yet y’all immediately resort into putting medicines into your bodies which is NOT FOOD! Many side effects. That’s why politicians love dumb people, they can’t think critically for themselves hence they are easy to manipulate.
Last year I was feeling so depressed and sad that everything I could think about was that I didn’t want to live my life anymore. I traveled to a country and spent time in nature, talked to people, made connections, watched the sunset every afternoon and spent a lot of time offline. My depression disappeared and I even forgot to take my medication. That was an amazing experience. When I came back to my “normal” life I felt depressed again. My plan now is to go back and live a slow life close to the nature and this gives me hope.
61 yr grandma here. Yes nature IS medicine. Try grounding? I don't wear shoes if I don't have to. They making 'grounding' shoes now...6 yrs ago I came off big pharma in a horrible way. Docs were no help. Took 2 YEARS before I felt semi normal. Used lots of CBD & weed to get thru the withdrawals. Swore to never go on SSRI's, benzos, opioids & seizure meds ( which I don't have)...ever again. Barely take OTC stuff...still trying to mend my brain & muscles. Nature plays a big part in your recovery.
You were most likely suffering from a vitamin D deficiency. Sunlight and fresh air and nature can really help that. So glad you are feeling better. Fish oil helps too. We are partially products of what we put into our bodies and what we surround ourselves with. As you found out.❤. Wishing you continued recovery and success in your life. 😊
I’ve been homeless, I’ve lived in my car, I’ve lost everything over and over again. During those times I did the most work that I’ve ever done seeking out resources and ways to be better. There is a ton of free information and help online, if you look for it. If instead you read about others in pain like you and none of them are offering options for healing, you’ll just stay in pain. You should be able to qualify for healthcare in the marketplace and within that plan they are required to offer you mental health services, and all towns offer free mental health services. But beyond that, you have a million answers at your fingertips. You started out right when you looked at a vid that was asking you not to give up. Keep moving forward and finding positive helpful resources online, not just things that confirm your pain, bc it is valid, you have every right to feel it. It’s not your fault, but it is your responsibility, and you can do it. You can be who you want to be, you just need to imagine them and work towards them. Believe they exist, and fight for their place. There are books and podcasts and a million websites that can help you. I started by just consuming a ton of comedy because it takes the icky glaze off of my heart so I can start to find better options for how to face my demons. You’ve just got to figure out what kind of thing you respond to and then seek that out. I encourage you find something that makes you laugh, and let it lighten your heart enough to find something to help you heal. Just keep laughing until you have the strength to heal, bc laughing will keep your head above water until you have the strength to heal
@@catlyn777I know this all too well unfortunately. I come from a poor-middle social class and have an extremely unhealthy relationship with money. I will literally avoid eating bc it just costs too much when I can instead skip the meal and just suck it up… I hate it so much. Similarly, I’ve wanted to see a therapist for the last couple years but after being drained financially by my last psychiatrist, I don’t see how it would be worth it when it may not even work for me. I actually downloaded the “better help” app just yesterday, but even that charges like $60 a week which I just can’t see being worth it so I ended up deleting it. It’s a sad world we live in 😔
You don't need money to move forward! Most therapists are meh to bad frankly - doing your own research on psychology, techniques to help cope better, and especially working on body awareness - exercising to strengthen your body, figuring out what foods it does best with, tuning into stored tension and learning how to release stuff. It's especially empowering to make progress this way because you realise that while help from others is special and needed for some things, for the main stuff you can totally work it out yourself. Courage!
@@Anomalous_Sophistahh, was wondering how much it costed briefly... the ads don't mention $60 per week, and I feel like it might be, for some, a set and forget subscription, which makes the company cash without as much work as non subscription companies
I was told in 2021 that I would not get any better from a brain injury 1 years prior. I was depressed and suicidal. I understand your pane of glass theory. I called it the box. I chose to get better. I got better. I fought very hard for myself. Never quit. Doctors do NOT know everything.
Have an ICU RN for 25 years. Although I haven't worked in two of them because I am now in a wheelchair, I never ever would let people give up hope. If they wanted an honest answer, I would tell them ," you have to ask me what I would do if this were my mother father sister Etc..". Because I can only tell you what I would do with the knowledge I have If This Were my family member. But I would never ever lose hope, for anyone. Even when they are taking their last breath I have seen crazy Miracles I have seen awful tragedies. Doctors don't know everything, usually the nurse is no more, lol I'm just kidding, but we do spend a lot more time with the patients. If you want to fight you fight and you never give up. Thank you for staying, we need you here with us❤❤
And there are just as many people who are sick of hearing them. It is upsetting that many are calling this a short coming of the doctor who was honest with her about the limits of treatment. It robs her of her autonomy as it pushes an assumption she is not capable of making this decision. It is cruel to force people to live if they do not want to. It’s the ultimate action of free will.
@@tslinger21 Agreed. I wrote A Thing about my experiences as an autistic woman with BPD and major depressive disorder. I am more curious what her life growing up was like, how many hospitalizations she has, and what her reasoning is. Also how long has she had a negligible quality of life and why? All these are really important things to know before drawing a conclusion about her decision. 28 is young but people commit suicide at that age, too. I think people are attached to hero stories and miracles. I also wonder how many people with opinions have offered to help pay for private specialized treatment which is needed to keep some of these people alive.
I paused at 8 seconds in..No judgment from me...a fellow mental health sufferer. I, too was in a dark place this morning upon waking. Using all my recently learned skills to reason my way into the day took about two hours. While practicing "wise mind" thinking, I realized that logic was playing no part in my angst - it was all emotion. Yet I have lived with collapsing emotion for so long that it is a huge challenge to balance it with logic. Strength to all of us.
I've been where the person he's talking about is, and it is so much worse when a doctor says something like that. One thing that helps me day to day is understanding that depression comes with the understanding that we live in an imperfect world. For so many reasons, we feel the pain in this world more keenly. This also means we can live and love more fully, but we need to give ourselves the care and compassion that we simply can't get out of the world. I start my day with gratitude and the prayer that no one should understand the darkness that depression sufferers fight all the time. I've had times when suicide looks like the only answer since I was six, though I rarely soke of it, I thought everyone felt that way. I'm 60 now, and there are times I still feel like that, I have come to understand the harm I would cause people I may not even know. I also have come to learn that we all have a like in us that darkness cannot defeat once we are willing to share it at all costs.
I also woke up today in a very very bad place in my mind, happening more often lately. I’m 40, I used alcohol to deal for 2 decades. Been sober for about 7 years, there were two years during sobriety where I was able to not be depressed and anxious 24/7, however it has been returning, and I often think about both returning to the alcohol or ending it completely. This life is not way. Ever. Even when you put the work in. I exercise, meditate, hike, reflect, try new habits and routines…even with tremendous effort, I wish I were not alive.
@@jimmcd5660 - Like me, we seek permanent answers to questions we may never have asked of ourselves. I asked the questions and found the root causes of my issues. That was the easy part. Undoing and replacing deeply held incorrect beliefs continues to hold me back from a good life. I am not alone. I will not quit.
@@jimmcd5660 i have been through similar feelings and used alcohol for decades too. i found that going to AA meetings caused my depression to get worse (took a long time to make the connection). there's another program called "smart recovery", and it is popular in the EU. it uses CBT and group therapy to challenge our beliefs. hope your day improves. be kind to yourself.
My father killed himself in 2006, I found out years later that only a few months before he died, he was told by a board of doctors in a mental hospital that if he ever "came back" they would make him a ward of the state and never let him go.
A majority of my depression definitely comes from not having anything I feel like is worth being alive for. Never really did ever. It's just becoming too much to power through the bullshit that is life without a really good reason. I don't consider simply being alive a good reason.
same, I do feel that though for me, I went to philosophy for help and learnt many different views towards life today, i see life as a one-time 70-100 years trial of consciousness, and eventually, I can get it cancelled as I grow old and die and refuse to purchase any subscription to consciousness again after death I also learn to be comfortable with not living for a reason or purpose, but instead, to just stay seated in the roller coaster ride cause it's a one-time ride. In fact, in philosophy, having no purpose in life can be seen as a good thing too, because no purpose means no expectations, no disappointments, no regrets. you just start living life for what it is, not for why it is a thing. you will never be thinking about what's next, and constantly chasing things for your whole life, you will be start living in the present maybe u can try looking into philosophy, which I think is just as important as psychology
I have CPTSD from child abuse. I can't tell you how many therapists have told me, " you can only manage your symptoms, but you can't be cured." Therapy becomes a glorified form of bullying almost. I won't give up on myself.
And you shouldn’t! I also have cptsd from brother and mother abuse. But I’m telling you… we can be healed !🙏 It takes time surely, one day at a time.🧡 I have gotten so much better over the past few years just working on myself and it keeps me hopeful that I can live life without so much fear in my heart. I pray you the happiest recovery my love. 🤍You are going to take back your life. I’m cheering you on :)
The thing is, it's OK if you can't be cured. It doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. A lot of conditions are chronic and can be hard to manage, but it is just the nature of the sickness, not a moral failing
@ellotheregovna401 I read it, and while he explains the symptoms well, it falls short for me because it's too deterministic for me. I believe that survivors have the ability to achieve alot more than the therapeutic community leads on. I met a holocaust survivor who is 96 years old. He was told he needed to become a carpenter. He became a doctor, got married, and had a son who is a commercial pilot. In an interview when asked how he coped with the trauma, he said, "keeping busy help."
@@firstnamelastnamethirdnameThat makes no sense. They make more money by keeping people hanging there. People need to pick a side, if they don’t offer a final solution , “they’re getting rich on her illness”; if they tell the person there’s nothing left to do “they’re saving money” 😂
I'm autistic and also have bpd and depression. This horrified me because my worst fear of all time is having someone tell me I can never be happy, that there's nothing they can do to help me. It also cuts straight down to that fear of abandonment that so many bpd folks in particular face. That you are "not good enough", not worthy of help. It really sucks feeling that way in your own head, so imagine a person who is *supposed* to help telling you this.
Unfortunately, this is the reality for most BPD sufferers. I’ve seen a lot of horror stories where mental health “professionals” give up and kick us out the door or give us terrible advice. I’d also went through many, MANY “professionals” who were absolute jokes. Luckily, after dozens of flops I found one who is wonderful, compassionate, genuinely cares for her patients and actually knows her stuff. Idk what I’d do without her. She was my last attempt at seeking help and I’m so thankful I found her, I was gonna give up trying. I’ve been with her for 10 years, she knows I can’t afford her services and doesn’t even charge me and I’m so grateful. I know I’ll never find another like her. (CPSTD and BPD tend to go hand in hand btw)
Nobody has the right to tell you that you can never be happy, or that you’re not good enough or that you’re beyond help. Nobody, let alone a medical professional. ❤
I can only try to help you from the standpoint of a dietician. Recent studies have shown rather impressive benefits of a ketogenic diet for people with BPD. Neurological activity running on ketones are much more stable without the spikes and valleys. So i urge you to try either a ketogenic diet you can follow, or simply go carnivore to make it easier but a bit more pricey.
Please hold on. I'm 53, anxiety started for me when i was around 12yo, coupled with chronic depression at 26. I recovered after 30yo, completely. I want you to know it's definitely a possibility.
How old are you? Please know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE, I've been in that dark place during many years, I'm not THAT better now but I know for a fact I won't kill myself. I will fight this for the rest of my life if necessary, doesn't matter if I reach the mountain top or not. Just want to feel better before I die
That Dark Souls/Mario analogy was spot on for me (One of the five people who understood it.) Not everyone gets to live their life with powerups and extra lives. Some of us have to crawl on our knees and fight tooth and nail, hoping and praying a bonfire is just around the corner so we don't lose everything we've fought for.
The funny thing is and for anyone that's played Dark Souls before, once you know what to do, things get much, much easier in the game. Dark souls I think is proof that a lot of times, our most difficult struggles can be overcome. Especially when the solution is as simple as picking the master key, opting for a sorceror build, getting key equipmet by sequence breaking before the first boss. Even if you've never played a video game before, you can beat a game that is that difficult with the right person guiding you along the way.
@Gorgonzeye Why make things harder if it's not necessary though? If you have major personal struggles, solving them as quickly, efficiently and with the least amount of pain is smart. For Dark Souls, how you start doesn't matter so long as you can grow into being able to tackle what the game throws at you.
Dark Souls was the game that taught me I can do hard things. I wish life felt as rewarding as it does, but it's proof to me that I can persist and I can defeat challenges on my own terms
As a mental health professional myself, working with addicts I am appalled, embarrassed, and broken hearted by this story. That is NOT client centered, has no unconditional positive regard, No compassion!! Whoever that practioner is they need to leave the profession. 😢😢 We ALL deserve care, compassion.
This is why recovering addicts are the best counselors.....give me a counselor who has been there every single time. Thank you Dr. Scott for being one of those special ones.
Yessir. My grandfather is 30 years clean himself now, and he spent 20+ of those working at Fort Campbell in KY, using his own experiences with Vietnam, drug use, and bi-polar to genuinely help some of these people in ways that someone who had not been there wouldn't understand to the same degree.
100 percent, i feel like depression if one of those things you cannot truly comprehend and empathise with until you’ve experienced it, i sure know i didn’t understand what it really was and how it effects you until i developed it.
That article is truly heartbreaking. I don't blame you for struggling to find the words to say about it, because there really aren't many. That said, I'm sorry to see you so shaken up like this. It's true that clients should not internalize the inadequacies of the field of mental health, but you shouldn't either. It's frustrating, it's not fair, I'm sure you wish you could speak to this woman right now and help her. But try not to blame yourself for other people's stupid mistakes. Thank you for making this video. I am tired. I'm tired of working, going to college, doing basic functioning tasks. I'm tired of trying to be okay. I'm tired of suffering so much and not being able to let anyone else into my personal life because they won't understand if I'm honest to them. I'm tired of fighting my demons. I'm tired of feeling so powerless and hopeless. I'm tired of living. It's taking all of my energy to keep myself from doing something reckless. And meanwhile I'm supposed to keep acting like everything is fine because I've learned that there is no space for me to not be fine. My dumb brain just keeps getting worse. Finding someone who I actually feel is capable of reaching me seems impossible. I'm going to keep trying and I'm going to keep living. But I'd be lying if I said I was happy about it. If anyone relates to this, I'm sorry. Just know you're stronger than you think you are.
I feel you... I'm so tired also. Was just thinking earlier how I wish there was some place I could go to be put to sleep. No family.. No friends. While my mind deteriorates more and more, I'm petrified of becoming a ward of the state. Just put me to sleep.
I feel you... Fighting depression, anxiety and Bpd.. It's hell on earth... I barely have energy to do basic stuff.. I wear a mask that I am OK while I am not.. Sometimes I wish I could scream myself out... Just scream and let all of that out of... Wish all of that ends one day for all of us..
See, this is what I mean. What the h*ll is the profession doing when they tell people in crisis that they're not in crisis??? They need to get their heads out of their ass*s and actually start helping. And at the least, "do no harm."
It is true that we do not know what will happen in the future. I had a rock bottom depressive episode when I was 22. My attempt was unsuccessful thankfully. The years that followed were autopilot. Very little joy even though I was a stay at home mom to 4 children. My turning point began when I was 44 years old. A neighbor needed help feeding his bottle calves. That learning experience changed my life. (I tell my neighbor often that he changed my life.) Now I raise livestock, garden, preserve the harvest, use natural medicine and live life with great joy. I do still have my days when the old me comes back and I see the world with despair. In those days, Dr. Scott, you always have a wise word and I appreciate you.
Your story is truly amazing. I kept thinking about it and sharing it. It is so unpredictable what will make us 'click'. What was in feeding the calves that changed you? Thank you ❤
@@benedettasavitri9644 I think it was mostly that my neighbor ( 3 miles down the road neighbor) was encouraging me, had faith in me that I was of worth. He was teaching me a skill that I never even knew about. Livestock was something that none of my siblings did. I was the only one out of 6 that did not have a higher education or career. I was a stay at home mom. With the feeding of the calves, it opened a whole new world to me of "homesteading". Now I thrive in it and feel useful to this world. I know raising 4 children is a very worthwhile achievement, but when society at large pushes higher education, its sometimes hard to find self worth outside of societies pressures.
@@benedettasavitri9644 It was much more that my neighbor found worth in me and taught me a skill I which I did not know about. I do not have higher education like my siblings and felt a little less than. Keeping livestock, gardening, natural medicines are useful skills that I learned by reading and doing. People often ask, "what is my purpose in life?". I have now found that our life purpose changes with time. Not that the new purpose is better than the previous, it's just different. I was once an obedient daughter and good student, then a wife along with raising 4 children. Now I live a rural life, am a helpmate to my husband and look after my aging parents. Someday I will be a grandmother. Life flows, we must learn to flow with it.
That sounds so wonderful, I wish I could visit your farm. I dream of having my own homestead one day. I love animals and feel at peace around them, plus a few kind humans. I've felt depressed at how far out of reach having a homestead feels, especially in the UK where land is expensive and we're not allowed to build homes in the countryside. But maybe there's another way I could do it. Reading your story gave me some hope, thanks for sharing.
I cried during this episode. It really hit me hard. I saw this on FB this week and my first thought was, "I can do that?" I'm 53 and have been depressed all my life. My hope is extremely minimal. In my mind, the only thing keeping me alive is my 14 year old daughter and what it would do to her if I died. Dr Scott, your videos have helped me more than you can possibly know. I so wish that you were in Canada so I could see you. Instead, I just bought your book and can't wait to read it. Thank you, Dr Scott, for all you do.
His book is excellent. He communicates so well with you because he has been there. Its like having an understanding friend holding your hand not a psychotherapist talking from miles away. I hope his book helps you like it helped me.
I hear you. I’m almost 55 and have been battling depression and low self-esteem probably most of my life, and it stems from living with my mother’s mental illness and her subsequent suicide when I was 11. I just got on with life and took over caring for the house and my sister, but now I realize I never got over the loss. There’s always a void. Your daughter does need you more than you know. More than she may know now. She’ll appreciate you when she’s 30 if she’s going through any of that pre-frontal cortex coming online awkward teenage stuff. Have you tried something like mushroom gummies or capsules? Seems to take the edge off. Sending you love and hugs!
@@mjrussell414 I'm sorry about your mom. After the divorce, mine was never around so I also took over caring for my brother and sister. I was 10. I thought about mushrooms. There's a clinic here that offers mushroom therapy, but it costs $4000!
I am one of those hopeless cases on whom the mental health care system has utterly given up. However I am now in the middle of a spontaneous remission. I am super happy and I have found a reason to live. The turnaround was not totally spontaneous. I had to kick.some bad people out of my life, but I got better. I feel this video. Thank you for this apology. It means a lot to me.
Friends, family, accountability, avoiding alcohol, avoiding illegal drugs, and repitition of good habits every day. Its the only way. But you can do it!! I'm living proof! I was seen as severe, out of control. In my teens I was an absolute wreck and a danger to myself and others. Now I've been on meds consistantly for 8 years, I make mindful evaluations of my feelings and thoughts at all times, I focus on my goals and make notes to check on the people I love (autism and adhd makes it hard to keep track without a diary). My BPD is in remission, but I still never forget or deny that I HAVE it. I take accountability for every one of my feelings and actions
I have been told by my psychiatrist that there is nothing else they can do for me. I have major depressive disorder that seems to be treatment resistant. I have tried so many different medications and treatments. I cannot seem to get out of this!! I fight every day all day just to survive! I understand why she chose this route. When I think of living the rest of my life this way I think why bother! Dr. Scott your words mean a lot to someone like me! Please keep doing what you are doing you give me the hope to keep going even when I’m exhausted and ready to give up! Thank you
Hi Rebecca. I'm sorry you're going through this. Please try the carnivore diet, just for a month. I know it sounds insane, but just give it a shot. There is no reason not to. I don't know how to inspire you, so please search "carnivore depression" on youtube and just listen to these vids.
@@HunxRepairgreat comment! I've been carnivore for 20 months now. I haven't gotten off my meds, but I do feel that it helps my head a great deal. I still have a lot of problems to deal with. And I'm still a trauma survivor, with an ACE score of 7 which does affect me everyday. But I am so happy to be living the carnivore lifestyle and it does keep me on a more even keel emotionally and I feel so much less physical pain and illness than I did before. I was thinking that I wish this woman that Scott is talking about could be guided to the carnivore diet and decide to give it a try before giving up.
@@chifreak6I learned that antidepressants kind of neutralize psilocybin mushrooms. So people that are on an antidepressant won't experience the same high that someone who is not on an antidepressant will if they were to use psilocybin. A caveat some people don't know about. And I agree that cannabis is good for helping me sleep and taking the edge off if I'm too anxious or stressed.
@@therealdeal3672yes this is true, and it breaks my heart. The people that most need mushrooms can't get their benefits, due to them being on srris. I've been stuck on antidepressants for many years despite many attempts to ween off. :(
A lot of psychiatrist never had depression or OCD, so they do not understand what people been thru. Theory is a good thing but if you've been there and seen there you know what you are talkig about. Thank you dr. Scott for words of wisdom!
I'm a therapist. I've struggled with mental illness my whole life & was raised in utter chaos. Healing what attracted me to psychology and eventually becoming a counselor. Ask your potential counselors if they are humanists and have they struggled depression & see that one ❤ best wishes friends!
My friend struggled with a lot mentally, dealing with depression, attempting to take her own life, coming from an abusive family and having been in a traumatic car accident resulting with PTSD. She is academically VERY smart. So she got back on her feet, going to Uni to study psychology and she wants to be a counselor. I’m so proud of her for moving forward in life. She is honestly so inspiring and I think she’d be a great counselor . ❤️😊
I attempted it many years ago. We used to tell people "depression lies," and that the lies are the ideas that "things will never get better" or "you'd be better off dead." Now, it seems more doctors and politicians would rather accept that lie because it's easier and less expensive than saving lives. It's horrifying.
@@tslinger21 What? I said that depression tells lies like "things will never get better," and that it's horrifying that more dr's and politicians would rather repeat the lie. How on Earth is that bullying?
Not exactly. Politicians don’t want to spend money to help us get better, and money is required to do that. But they still can’t afford for the workforce to off themselves, which is what more and more people will do as we become progressively more dystopian. So they don’t want you to get better, but they don’t want you to die and stop working (probably why this story got headlines, and why legal euthanasia is rare in the US). This is why suicide hotlines and mental prisons (“hospitals”) exist. Those are forms of citizen surveillance and control, not mental health treatment. Many red states will detain you, and then dump you at mental institute against your will, regardless of whether or not you have insurance or money to pay for it (and you will have to), simply for choosing to use a suicide hotline. Sometimes they won’t help you until they receive your contact info, so they can dispatch police while they pretend to care about you. The hotlines don’t even use professionals, it’s often just barely-trained volunteers. I’m sure people here will give anecdotal evidence as to why their particular hotline is not the problem…but it is. They all are. This is a system of oppression toward the mentally unhealthy, since we are perceived as too expensive to treat. Do not use suicide hotlines, as they will just make you more suicidal. Seek a therapist or group first.
@@zacky7572 The "less expensive" part mainly applies to Canada. Trudeau and woke activists don't care if the population declines. They think it's better for climate change, and saves money on "free" healthcare.
She has Autism too. Autism is a Neurological condition. There is no cure for it. Also people will whine about us being on disability, so what do they expect? This is the harsh reality of life.
@@365ral you really think the "woke" politicians are the ones taking away mental health resources? Also, newsflash. In most places there are no "woke" or to be more specific far left politicians with power. There are centrist politicians only. Far left politicians have the goal of free and accessible mental health services.
I've been in therapy of one sort or another for decades. Some was useless, some was harmful, and some helped a little bit. My current therapist offers sympathy and little else. Her favorite saying is "that must be hard for you", but there is no practical help offered to make my struggle easier. Your videos have been more helpful than any of the therapists I've had. Please keep making them, and thank you for caring enough to try to help.
Yes it’s incredibly frustrating! One of my therapists even said to me I was very good at being a therapist myself. Perhaps I was trying to compensate! 😂
If you want concrete advice, tell them that you want concrete advice. Tell them in no uncertain terms and keep asking for it. If you don't do this, they will err on the side of caution, because thier ethics prohibits them from telling you what to do, and concrete advice walks that thin line that many therapists are afraid to cross.
I am 67 years old. I have been in the mental Health System since 1989.. I been treated like shit by the Mental Health System. I am not just saying this to get Brownie Points from YOU. BUT, You have changed my whole life to one of being more active, positive and especially not to give up.. I know I depending a long time on Dr's ect that only had book knowledge. Your experience has made all the difference. If this lady could listen to You. I know YOU could give her hope. GOD bless you to be so concern about a lady really in a terrible crisis..
Thanks for this Dr Scott. My (ex) psychologist once told me if im not going to do the work he wanted me to do with his deadlines, he couldn't help me and nobody else could. He practically broke up with me. Gave up on me. I ended up in a mental clinic not long after. I met my current psychologist there. He was willing to help me hang on until i was ready and had the strength to do the work. But for a long time he was just there, helping me to just keep living. And that was what I needed.
I'm a psychiatrist and had a relative struggle with self-harm, emotional dysregulation, eating d/o, and multiple hospitalizations as a teenager. It would have been easy to assume she was headed for a life of misery as an adult and that there was no hope. Fortunately, several years ago she got involved in DBT with other teens and has turned her life around. She tends to be a bit anxious, but she's rockin it as a young adult and almost through college. No more self-harm. In a healthy relationship. It's complete B.S. for any psychiatrist or other mental health professional to ever tell a patient/client that there's no hope. Never give up! Life isn't fair and is often difficult, but I honestly believe there's always hope. I had a cousin take his own life about 30 years ago. He never got another chance...
Which parent is a narc or ppath? BPD which is a temporary condition only occurs when there is a narc or psychopath with caregiving responsibilities prior to age 12. extremely abnormal external factors are at play with self-harm because mammals are not wired to act against their survival instincts unless extreme measures are needed to protect their survival. A child faced with abuse will take extreme measures to survive and this is what is called BPD.
I got full body chills when you said the bit about watching the world behind a pain of glass and sitting in the basement in the dark listening to a party you cant join. I related to that so heavily.
People with BPD are frequently told that they cannot be treated. Cluster B personality disorders are highly stigmatized and regarded by professionals as incurable. Not an uncommon experience, actually. BPD is also specifically a disorder that you only develop as a response to trauma, and because autistic people lack the social skills to protect ourselves from predators, we are statistically a lot more likely to be traumatized than the general population. To be honest, as someone with the same set of diagnoses as this woman, I wish I could explain to you all just how awful and hopeless it is. Imagine the only thing you've ever wanted in your whole life is one singular human being who could see you for who you really are without abandoning you, and it never happens. Imagine lacking the social skills to even make a friend like a normal person. You can say that things will get better, but the numbers don't lie, and the average life expectancy of people with a BPD diagnosis is 25, and the second biggest killer of autistic people after seizures is suicid3. These are extremely isolating disorders to live with.
It can get better. Dont give up. Ive fought this shit my whole life. And I refuse to give up, im too goddamn stubborn not to grow, learn, love laugh and leave this world a better place than it was before I came. You can too ❤❤
Same set of problems here. I understand your pain. I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it a lot. Holding down a job is hard, making and keeping friends is near impossible, life just hits you with one thing after another, trust me I understand. It sucks, there's no way around it. Psychedelics like ayahuasca and shrooms have helped me move past some of the symptoms. I have cptsd as well from narcissistic and physical abuse growing up. All I can say is to keep moving forwards. That's all you can do. Maybe you can help share your knowledge and experiences with the world to help them heal and grow. That's what I hope to do, but as fate would have it, I found myself stuck at rock bottom. Keep going. I hope things get better for you. I really do because I know how much things suck.
Is it really a coincidence that in the past ten years we’ve seen a MASSIVE amount of people being diagnosed as autistic, who don’t act/communicate ANYTHING like autistic people? I can’t help but feel this is big pharma & modern psychology’s new adhd…
Keep here, keep there... It seems like a game about losing instead of keeping: losing your mental stability, losing your ego, losing your dignity. And for what? To live just another day? The only thing I see people tell you to keep is your miserable life. At these moments only one thing could make the difference: changing your state of life. You can take it away or just change the background, but keeping the same shit over and over, just because people around you can't stand your choice is miserable.
The worst thing when you're feeling that hopeless is the feeling of being totally alone in it. I suffer from chronic hopelessness, and man, it's hard to not got to the dark place. This post is really shines a light into that darkness. Thank you for taking this very, very painful subject seriously and compassionately.
If anything videos like this/people commenting on videos like this demonstrate that there are a lot of people going through the same struggles. We are all human, we all have similar hopes/dreams and we all feel the pain when reality does not align with our expectations for ourselves, or people don't appreciate the pain we're going through. You are not alone, nor are you the first person to feel those things.
This is why I quit studying mental health. It harmed me and I’ve watched it harm others. What I really need is the ppl who are supposed to care actually show up and care
Too many people looking for perfection. What they really should be looking for is authenticity and your true self. Suicide creates a ripple effect that is felt for generations.
I'm going through something, would you suggest I reach out to mental health services (I'm in the UK), or just leave it since I can see myself getting better.
I have struggled with depression for 12 years. All i need is love. Coffee ☕️ and cake are one reason to live for. Every morning for breakfast, one thing to look forward to.
Please try some sunshine and vitamin D supplements along with Fish or fish oil supplements. It really works and helped my depression a lot. I can now get through the day. I'm so sorry for your suffering. May you find all of the support you want.💛. Hang in there. Sending you a mental hug. I hope you feel better soon.
As someone diagnosed with ASD, ADHD, OCD, and BPD (and suffering with something akin to chronic depression), I've been told the exact same by a psychiatrist. I left his office crying and having a complete meltdown. He didn't even attempt to comfort me. I already hadn't seen a future for myself in years - and that man obliterated any little hope could've had. I heavily considered throwing myself in front of a car on my way back home multiple times.
Please don’t let someone else define you. You have a special, beautiful brain. Take care to figure out what you uniquely need. Sometimes “helpers” can be very abusive. Guard your heart. Know that there are people who truly care, no matter how few. Persist. If only to prove them wrong. That might have to do for awhile.
I have DID, BPD PTSD CHRONIC DEPRESSION have multiple times tried to "unalive" myself and living on a thin thread to keep on living, believing all the lies with people like this telling me to keep on suffering during this lifelong garbage F them all honestly 😡😡 Ive cried and pointlessly cried myself to the point of physical problems and health issues, there is no one coming to help you or make anything better, you are on your own and the only thing you can do is somewhat help yourself but that can only go so far 😢
@@maryk4588can you go up to a rusty unfixable car and try to salvage and repair it in tip top condition from a stone? You won't get very far in doing so, you will throw your tools around and fix some parts somewhat? this is why i don't trust any healthcare professionals anymore with my broken mind, they are incompetent and were hopeless in helping me, you can't fix broken which you cannot see mentally, we are a "danger, threat" to society until we crack and then they will somewhat "help" us after throwing us in hospital then lock us up when they can't think what else to help us with, we are a black hole 🕳️ in society on what is the norm, society has broken and corrupt us as children but yet when they gob us out we are supposed to survive that and comply to the norm? You get my point here, I've also insisted and been and advocate for assisted suicide in Europe and the UK for a while so i don't suffer anymore in trying to hurt myself on ending my life, UK folks will not have that luxury, so i just have to keep on living a somewhat existence till i croak and die with no purpose i guess 🤷🏾♀️ my voice is void but my advocate is meaningful
There are plenty of times where nothing gets better even over years/decades. Some problems never get better. Nobody should be forced to live in a hopeless situation.
There are people that cannot afford help and just want the suffering to stop. There are people that want help and are denied help, gaslit by therapists and medical professionals and told “it’s getting nice out, go take a walk”~DO medical doctor-WI, told how “inconvenient” testing is because “it would required multiple office visits to take the tests and therapy and meds will help” tells you they’ll email you therapists but never emails you~ PhD, IL or how helpful tests would be, that “often they’re done when there is a complicated history or let’s say services are needed in the home or school” and doesn’t recommend anything, the conversation just ends right there ~ therapist, IL. Some of these people are adults looking to be diagnosed, affirmed and supported and can’t or aren’t. It’s like an intentional block, a far fetched service some don’t have access to. Some people don’t have supports. Some people get worn out, they just don’t know what else to do. It’s sad.
@@lisalasersI'm sorry. I hope you're able to access everything you need to feel better soon. I'm sending you healing vibes your way. Also try vitamins D and B1 and fish oil supplements. They've been proven to help depression,or at least make it tolerable. Works for me. Hopefully everything works out for you. Please don't give up. Keep on fighting. ❤
@@StubbornclarityHUUUEEGG I just remembered Gonesh's lavender incense sticks! I like to smoke up a room with them and listen to calming music! Oh, I'm so excited!
I've been here. A therapist told me they couldn't do anything. I knew it all. That led me to the most amazing therapist who DID help me. I feel so much better than I did. It isn't hopeless. It feels it but it isn't. ❤
Trouble is, when you go to the doctors feeling grim, all they do is load you up with anti-depressants (which I don’t take, so I have to just struggle on with no support). I’m an older person with no family, no friends, no children and who lives in a town where no-one cares about people enough to extend the hand of friendship. My neighbour is a priest who stands at the pulpit on Sundays spouting ‘love thy neighbour’ but whose family never even says “hello”. My future looks as bleak as this woman’s.
I'm in the same boat...I never married, 60 years old, no relatives bcoz i am an orphan, very little friends, suffering daily pain due to bladder pain syndrome. I am tired of daily suffering. Not worth living.
@@calsonyap8337 Perhaps Google Marek Jantos. He is an Australian Pain Specialist, particularly Urogenital pain: bladder etc. I saw him for Vulvadynia (pain during intercourse). Marek travels the world speaking at medical conferences. BTW, he was not born in Australia so don't expect an Australian accent LOL. Marek knows his stuff, believe me! All the best 🤗
I'm so sorry for your suffering 😢. Please try fish oil supplements and vitamins D and B1. Full spectrum CBD oil. Exercise in the morning sunlight. Please don't give up. I know that you're hurting and I empathize so much. Some days I just have to hang on. But once I tweaked my diet and nutrition things got better for me. Not all better but much more tolerable. Wishing you all the very best❤❤❤. I'm praying you and everyone else here feels better soon.
For many of us, it's very difficult to continue to hang on because it seems that nothing we do makes things better. People forget that depression is often a terminal disease. It hurts. I do hope this young woman finds someone somewhere who will help her hang on, but I know the feeling of just wanting the pain to stop. It's a daily fight.
I’m sick and getting worse by the day. I lost my dog, my job and my insurance and have no hope to get better. I understand her perspective. I pray daily for God to put an end to my life. My mother could help financially but chooses not to, which adds to the hurt.
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I know people who lost everything and felt hopeless and some even tried committing. But years later they found happiness they never thought they would have. I know everything probably feels hopeless and the pain is not worth it but please keep going. You don’t know where you will be years from now. If I had ended myself at 18, at the time I never knew what I would have now. I am so sorry for what you are going through and the person that should help will not. How are you doing now?
I think most often it’s not necessarily the mental health community or professionals that let people down, but rather modern society and expectations. As someone with depression and persistent existential dread, I find it difficult to be a functional and productive contributing member of society. What does that lead to? Possible job loss, possible long periods of time between jobs, having and earning less money to pay for rent and food and medical services and therapy… it’s hard enough to live with any kind of illness, but add adulting on top of that and just surviving financially, that’s when it becomes impossible to want to keep living. Rent and gas prices don’t wait for you to get better. Neither do most relationships, realistically.
Exactly! You have no choice but to struggle. I’ve been on both ends.. having money but no time to do anything and not having money which means anxiety with bills and rent and getting kicked out. There is no winning and not to mention being a gifted child but ending up being a failure without a job.
I was depressed since i was a child, bullied, went to a special school. I had 2 abortions under pressure, 1 healty son and 4 miscarriages. Was bullied again in the hospital where i worked when i had the 4 miscarriages, worse. I'm not saying this because i want pity. But because i was so depressed that i was suicidel, for a long time. Not seeying any light, not even my son because i felt so dark. Now i'm so much better because i take care of myself, i care about myself! I felt nobody understood me. Not a medium, psycholigist, medication etc helped me. I did the work, hard work and have compassion for myself. PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP!!!❤
Yes, this!! I was diagnosed with clinical depression after being depressed all my life, disabled since birth. God told me the meds would not help. Stopped taking them and worked on myself. This is how you get healed. If you have peace with God and yourself, that is what matters most.
Wow...I'm so sorry you had to go through that and people treated you that way, nobody deserves that - I can't even imagine bullying a woman who has just suffered a miscarriage, what a bunch of sociopaths. You are an incredibly strong person to get through all that with your head high...I envy that strength.
Don't worry, I've got you. I'll be praying for you every day. Please don't neglect yourself and please try vitamins D and B1 and fish oil supplements and CBD oil. Try everything before you give up. You can do it! I'm rooting for you. You are not alone ❤❤❤
I just prayed for you again. You'll get through this. We've got your back. If you ever need to vent just message one of us. Sorry for everything you are going through.:-(
this is why i don’t trust therapists that arent also neurodivergent in some way. neurotypicals will never truly understand you even if you have mild GAD, let alone a personality disorder, autism, or a dissociative disorder. this is fine in most casual relationships, but not doctor patient.
With all due respect, Scott, I never fully trusted advice from anyone in the medical field, let alone my therapist. I wish everyone could develop that skill. Your words are appreciated.
Well, yes, it is important to remember that the most critical part of mental health treatment is the internal work. At the end of the day, you have to work on yourself, with yourself. Teach a man to fish.
This is an underated thing. I was made into a prescription addict because I listened to the doctor's advice as a teen. That woman neglected my severe side effect and refuse to offer anything more than med. I got toxicated twice and every psychiatrist just switched pills. Zero help on helping you to reduce the intake. Now I know the farmacal companies taught them to produce addicts. I tried on my own it didn't work dispite I'm a stong willed person who survived and solved lots of other impossibles. Anyone on early stage, please don't trust anyone.Try to get help but just try.Don't grap them as a savior even though I know it's their fault to pray on the most vulnarable
The mental health system has failed so many of us. It is a struggle to get the right care. I’ve been fighting to find proper treatment for a myriad of disorders and many times theres been therapists who say i’m “too complex” for them. I’ve had to fight tooth and nail to be taken seriously, let alone receive proper treatment to help my mental health issues.
Yeah, but it's not really a problem of just mental health system. In every profession are people like this one therapist mentioned in video, that do wrong decisions. Doctors especially.
I was diagnosed 2 years ago with ADHD and autism. It made me start a journey of recovery from crippling depression. After 2 years I finally got an appointment with a psychiatrist with a view to him taking over the ADHD treatment plan that had already been put in place but I had moved house. Instead he told me (after a 1 hour session in which he took a case history but didn't ask me anything about my symptoms) he told me that he was not accepting my diagnoses (that involved around 12 hours of assessment over 6 sessions and where specific to diagnosis of particular conditions) and he would not be carrying out the treatment plan and would instead be referring me to psychotherapy 'in the hope that they will offer you an appointment' even though I have been having psychotherapy, that I pay for, weekly for the last 3 years. So now I am back to square one and can feel myself spiraling again
I had a similar situation with a "doctor" who gave up on me without truly being a part of my I guess rehabilitation. That was in 2016. I recently almost committed suicide, and during my leave of absence from work I did the rest of the deep, completely heartbreaking soul searching. These days, I'm renewed but apprehensive when another depressive episode wants to start up. I've always just waited it out. As someone who's been completely alone and on their death bed before (I have physical health issues), I still say life is worth living. Do I always feel that way? No. But we know better than our STUPID emotions 😂❤
As someone WHO BELIEVES in assisted suicide, for terminal patients, I FULLY agree with you, when you say "The field I'm in has failed this person (mental health), because for a mental health professional to tell someone its never going to get better is beyond malpractice." I explained it that way because I didn't want to make it seem like I was casting a shadow on doctors in any spectrum in trying to describe.
okay… but also, if someone is incapable of surviving by making money to afford food or shelter, then YES their condition is terminal because society has decided they are not worthy of having their base SURVIVAL needs met. and this all revolves around a manufactured monetary system that was created to enforce slavery & the working class. unless the ROOT issue gets solved, then autistic people, like myself, are just slowly dying and wasting away. people getting relief to leave is fair. especially if the world doesnt want to help them in any other way… which is doesnt.
I have been in treatment for 14 years and have absolutely internalized the failures of the system. If I was 300 feet at the bottom of that canyon you described, it was like the professionals at the top were just staring at me, unsure of what to do. Or telling me "You can do it, it'll get better," but would not or could not meet me where I was at. My current therapist might be different but of course these days holding out hope for anyone or anything that might help is a risk I'm not entirely sure I should take. I think my message to anyone else struggling with hopelessness is that, to second Dr. Scott, nobody knows what the future will bring, and also, YOU are not your experiences, or the people in your life. You're not the good or the bad or the in-between. You are you. Those feelings of hopelessness and shame are related to past and present events and fears of the future but NOT you yourself.
I really needed to hear this. I’m at a point in my life where I’m just standing still watching the world pass me by. I’m disabled, I’m legally blind, autistic I have lupus and hEDS and am a stage 4a uterine cancer survivor. My parents are in their 70s and are my care givers. I get $500 a month from disability which is not even close to what I need for my special diet for my illnesses, other necessities and bills. My parents are on a very limited strict budget having to help care for me. This month is particularly tight financially. I just keep thinking maybe they’d be better off if I weren’t weighing them down. I have such low self esteem that I can’t even begin to imagine what I could do to help out bringing more money in. Hearing this though really made me feel some hope for the future that I’ll think of something to better our finances.
Appalling. I’m a psychotherapist, and I’m speechless. I’m seriously speechless. I’ve written a lot of words only to erase them, there’s nothing that can be said to cover the disrespect I feel towards this “psychiatrist” (my predictive text kept trying to use psychopath). Seeking help by choosing to enter therapy is a difficult endeavor. It’s a journey that challenges the mind, spirit and soul. Ugh, I can’t go on writing because you said it best. I pray she’s saved.
Lots of sadists and authoritarians in ANY profession in which clients or students are supplicants or can be subdued by legal force improperly exercised. PSYCHIATRY has ALWAYS been one if the worst of these havens for pathological adults to harm both children and adults, often wrecking their lives.
@@tslinger21 There's breakthroughs happening right now as we speak in psychedelic therapy. If ir does't matter anyways she should at least try that on her own. Who cares, it doesn't matter if it's illegal, if she's planned to die anyways. Adopt a pet for a few weeks, or take care of a toddler or elementary school kid for a day (because kids are the embodiment of. hope and potential) Move somewhere else where the system is not as cruel. At least travel to a warm country and leave work for a sabbatical for a month. Enjoy the sun. Fuck all that. She needs to experience a live outside of the sickening hamster wheel that is our western civilization. THEN if she did all those things and they didn't even bring her a glimmer of hope, not even a tiny bit of hope for joy in her live, then she can say she tried everything.
@@tslinger21 I do not live in your country, I have however researched your Termination of Life Upon Request and Doctor Assisted Suicide laws for myself. You know my profession, now here’s the other part; I’m bipolar with depressive features. I suffer with psychosis, a part of my disease that is currently progressing. I’m eligible for services in Switzerland but I haven’t followed through. I’m not sure if you know her personally or if you’re simply using this venue to sling shit at Americans, but whatever your agenda is, it isn’t pure. So I need to be very clear with you, maybe it’s best that you be just a little kinder when you’re making assumptions about somebody you don’t know.
@@tslinger21You’re suggesting privileged knowledge of her case that’s deeper than what’s being reported. Right?? You’re suggesting that I’m somehow missing something. Cut to the chase! As a psychotherapist, as it is with a medical doctor, first do no harm is absolute, and it’s what I practice.
My State has "death with dignity" for people diagnosed with certain terminal conditions, but not for mental health issues. Thanks for sharing your experiences and words of hope.
@@tslinger21 Because terminally ill patients are actually in their right mind when they make their decision. This is coming from someone with Depression, GAD, ADHD, ODD and BPD before you come after me
I was taught by my psychiatrist in my postgraduate study of mental health (he didn’t even recognise me) and that’s when I noticed what a self absorbed and selfish individual he truly was. It was the white coat that made my broken mind at the time give so much weight to his words. He laughed at my mother sharing details of two suicide attempts and said that it was silly to try and kill yourself because modern doctors could revive you no matter what you do. He went on to add that it was just an attempt at attention and told my parents to talk about it less because it would give me ideas and that kids don’t have real depression. I was so shocked by his lack of concern and empathy for me that I just laughed it off. But the hurt and trauma of being failed by yet another adult who did not see clear signs of control and abuse eventually resulted in worsening of my condition to the point of no return.
I am exactly where this young woman is. I am 51. Loads of therapy and meds that helped a bit. Diagnosed with BPD in my early thirties. Depression, anxiety, mood disorders goes hand-in-hand with BPD. Six months ago diagnosed with ASD. So great. Now I’m Autistic as well (have been my whole life of course). I would check out right now if I didn’t have a partner and family that would be devastated if I did.
Same. I keep myself alive for the sake of other people not myself. It’s hell. Yes I can’t predict the future, but more likely than not it will be filled with far more suffering than it’s worth.
This is a nice young man but he doesn’t accept you can not always fix it. I have fought depression for 30 years (am 68 now). I do all I can - psychiatric practitioners for meds, good psychologists, re-reading my positive notes, exercise, and way more. I’ve talked myself out of ending it a 1000 times. Last summer my first bipolar “manic” episode, two weeks I have no memory of and 5 days in hospital. Came out with lesser issues now, but blissfully no depression at this time. And I finally forgave myself for being unable to “just get over it”. Best to all of you.
I've suffered from severe mental illness since I was 4 years old. It hasn't got better and I have accepted that it won't. I'm 25 now. I have just had to deal with it. Every time I have any sort of thoughts that are suicidal or related to self harm I have trained myself to immediately push them away. It does rub me the wrong way when people who work in Psychology try to claim that we can get better if we actually can't.
My gp in the 90s was retiring and warned me about the up anc coming "unhelpful mental health professionals" actually he said " Do anything you can, find an alternative, dont ever lose hope." I didnt know what he was on about but now i know.
I get so frustrated when everybody insists that my problem will get better, it just takes time. Not everybody recovers, you can't guaruntee that it will get better. Just because some people come out the other end wanting to to live and being thankful to be alive, doesnt mean it'll get better for everyone. Some people succumb to this disease. Just as much as you cant say it will stay terrible forever there is nothing more you can do, you cant say it will definitley get better if you do all the things. I'd rather risk losing a future i might someday want, than risk more years of this sufferring. Im not saying that suicide is justified in every case-in the contrary most suicide is impulsive and suicidal ideation shortlived if frequently reoccurring- im just saying there are cases where people dont get better, no matter what they try rare though they may be. Just because those who would have continued to be sick chose to die, and arent here to demonstrate untreatable mental illness doesnt mean they dont exist. I dont remember a single day in the last 10 years where i would have chosen to be alive, and continue living. As time has passed ive only gotten more certain that I dont want to exist, and I've had plenty of treatment.
Well done, Dr. Scott. I never heard someone describe a dark night (or day) of the soul as accurately and honestly. Only people who have gone through it truly understand. I really like the part where you say everyone is upstairs having a party and you are downstairs with a light bulb. What a spot-on description.
I know it's usually our first reaction to take something like that personally, but it's also quite possible your therapist is feeling overwhelmed at wanting to really help you and not feeling capable of meeting your crucial needs at this time! I think a personal explanation would've been much better, but maybe they just don't feel confident in their own skills, and it has nothing to do with you as a person. ❤
@@KD-kp3zc Oh, wow. I know that law as a retired nurse, but I guess the parameters are different in his profession. Is he supposed to make sure you have found another therapist or what?
I had one that would nod out on Xanax during my sessions. My brother and Dad had just died. She was a patient of my p doc and I told him about it and he laughed. He was prescribing them to her. She admitted to it being Xanax and maybe she needed to “cut back” (it was like the heroine nod off) I told her off! I was livid! Told her she was going to kill someone if not herself.
my therapist made me worse I finally got away and feel better Listening to Dr Scott has been so helpful to me, I love his honestly and self disclosure, I can relate to his experiences and find hope for my mental health because of his videos.
Im 35 with Autism, BPD, PTSD, Depression, and severe anxiety. Been there many times....😢 poor girl. Wow sidenote: Ive had 2 or 3 therapists tell me they couldn't treat me or werent qualified enough. Soon as I mention BPD they dont want to deal with me. Ive had zero help for the worst diagnosis I have. Been in patient suicidal at facilities 3x.
Oh. My. Gosh. You nailed the description of how my life feels. Everyone is at a party and I'm in the basement in the dark with no way out. I've been drug resistant for over 20 years. It is such a struggle just to get through the day. Add to that the struggle in finding someone in the psychiatric field who cares and life feels like it isn't worth living. I'm sorry for anyone dealing with this disease. I've been in this battle for over 45 years. It's brutal.
People with BPD frequently lie about, or at least distort, 'negative' things that have been said to or done to them, in order to portray themselves as the 'victim'. . .with the intent that those who've upset them will face some kind of assault. There's a good chance that the doctor(s) probably told her that UNLESS she changes--takes a conscious, proactive approach to finding her well-being--she is beyond hope.
I’m moving to the Netherlands. Psychiatry and medicine couldn’t give a flying fek about me just as long as I’m paying them. You are correct, things can change. They can get worse and they have continually gotten worse for me every year. I would LOVE to have this course of action open to me! Guess I’ll have to take things into my own hands.
My psychiatrist in 2002 told me “I think it’s time you accept this is a good as it will get”. Then I tried to unalive myself. The Psychiatrist I got after that attempt was wonderful and helped me out a LOT
I felt very much like you. That a psychologist or psychiatrist wouldn’t put her in a DBT group or on Ketamine, psychedelics… There’s So much to try, and I don’t know How this got approved! 😳😳😳 Ketamine, Music, DBT, a Crapload of Willingness and moments of Awe help. I wear a bracelet that says, ‘Don’t Believe Everything You Think, Harriet’ for when SI is really high. Thank you for….being You, for surviving, and for writing the book that’s next to my bed. 💕
About to start with a new therapist. I realized I should’ve asked her if she’s worked with people who are very depressed and have helped them out of it. It will be the first thing I ask when I see her tomorrow. I am not interested in sinking money into a well-meaning, yet unskilled therapist. Been there done that.
Well done …. Look at it this way, if they connect and don’t want to or choose not to answer relevant questions, you have saved the time that you would have spent enduring a therapist who isn’t a good or capable fit. Good luck
I have a few of the same diagnoses as she does. The first example you gave - being under a pane of glass, everyone upstairs is at a party, and you're down where it's dark with a flickering light. What comes with BPD often, is not only that we're sitting down there in the dark with the candle, but we have company. The bit of us that repeats over, and over, how little we're worth, what a burden we are and the solution is death. It encourages us to die, sitting there alone in the dark, and it's constantly blowing out that candle. Being alone there with a candle, would be a blessing. I agree, the field of mental health has utterly failed her. It continues to fail a lot of us. Many therapists/psychologists/psychiatrists won't even see someone with BPD, much less know how to treat it. And it's incredibly expensive. Which leaves it out of reach for, I'm guessing, a lot of us. I hope this woman finds her peace, whatever that might look like for her. I hope she can maybe find someone who understands, and who can hold her hand in that dark place. Maybe be a counter to the incessant part of us that wants to see us dead. In the end, it's her life, and her choice, and I will not pass judgement. I understand the why. Though I do hope she finds just one more reason to stay.
@@tslinger21 WHen I said, I hope she finds her peace, I meant I hope she finds her peace in passing. I can imagine, the wait would be unsettling. I’m so happy that she has people close that understand, and support her. I suspect a lot of people are terrified by death, seeing it not as a release, but as some sort of betrayal of life. Religion plays into that too, and the number of times I’ve read the misguided guilt tripping that goes on makes me angry. It’s her body, her life, and in that autonomy, I believe she has the right to do with it as she sees fit. Thank you for sharing that. It gave me some peace of my own tonight.
I studied psychology in college and gave up my career in psychology because I have bipolar disorder. Bipolar Disorder in America is extremely expensive to manage. People giving up because they're not getting better shouldn't be flooded with begging that they stay and continue to suffer. I'm in my 30's, I've had 2 attempts, I've been seeing specialists since I was 17, was diagnosed after college, and I've yet to get better. Life is too expensive for someone impoverished. I tried to get more from my education, but my brain can't keep up with anything academic anymore. I tried to keep to my jobs and work hard, now I'm unemployed, applying to jobs nearly every day, and remain jobless. I do think about giving up everyday, and after so many years of suffering and not improving, it would piss me off to hear such a tone deaf take where hope is the only "reason" to not throw the towel. If not for my dog and me being responsible for him, I would have already, knowing that not everyone gets the happy ending they deserved, no matter how hard they tried, and everyone in the field should acknowledge this before saying that things get better when in some cases it actually doesn't.
I am in my mid 60s and have never been happy. There was always something I had to deal with. Going by life expectancy, I have another 10 years to go. Will another 10 years make a difference? Do not worry. I do not have what it takes for what you are thinking of.
The sign behind you reminds me of my sister and my motto for when we were in the absolute depths of despair mental health wise. "Well, at least you are not on fire." We used to say this to each other every time something else f*cked up happened. We hated silver linings because they are always either terrible or shaming, so we made our own. Our own silver lining was that we weren't literally burning to death. Humor got dark for a while there.
THANK YOU for this!!! I was struggling in my therapist’s office, and half way through she stood up and said “well I won’t keep you and waste time.” Then she opened her door and dismissed me. Never have felt quite so hopeless. I was ready to give up. Thank you.
@DrScottEilers No kidding! Nurses can't walk away from a horrible shift without serious repercussions like losing their license. Why should these so-called professionals be able to??
I'm so jealous of her. At least she gets to go with dignity and PAINLESSLY. I admire your work Dr Scott but there IS no hope for me who at 70, alone and after 20 years of mental illness i can't go any lower now. Unfortunately, you are talking to young people here who have "time ahead" and able to "work hard". For them there is hope and possible "turning points" still to discover. People who don't have years / long time frame AND are so physically worn out and weak they can't even care for selves enough. If there waa truly compassion in the world, what this young woman is lucky to have, it should be available for those like me who do NOT have a choice, please let us end our 20 yrs of suffering and pain in a way it wont hurt. If i was a dog, the vet would have no hesitation to put me down to stop pain and suffering. Why is a dog treated better than old people like me?
I remember when I was 18: I had been institutionalized about five or so times since I was 11 due to domestic violence issues at home. I didn't love any of my family. I got by with the kindness of a handful of friends and teachers. I went to therapy one day feeling particularly not wanting to live anymore. My therapist said that, "No one is going to help you anymore because you're an adult now." Funny thing is, I didn't really get much help as a kid either. Didn't start to feel better until a few years ago. I'm 26 now. It gets a little better, I guess. Still trying.
Try being a multi head injury pt, and a live in care giver to 2 other disabled family members There are a lot of times [in fact a vast majority of the time] when I go to sleep, I do not want to wake up any more for a lot of rreasons but I do get up and do the same thing [take care of my family] all over again. Nothing changes but the date on the calendar
no one needs to know my story, but this is exactly what I've been told: by relevant studies in books, by therapists, councillors, and psychiatrists. sure I can recover, but 'recover' means getting used to my pain, building up a tolerance for it. I don't have episodes, this has always been the landscape of my life. I know this sounds like, "but My case is special." maybe that's what I'm doing? my only ambition is to not walk into the river or onto the highway. some days/nights are more difficult than others.
It's very easy and nice to say all this but it doesn't change the fact that people are struggling in hopeless situations. People can't afford therapy, and if they can, people don't have time for therapy and the world is getting crueler and lonelier. I don't blame her for wanting to go, I wish I could too.
A lot of mental health professionals failed me and I had to do a lot of work by myself. I am better and I have a good life now, but I deeply understand people who commit suicide
my psychiatrist told me that I will need to deal with depression and panic syndrome for the rest of my life. It's devastating to hear something like that! It's no wonder that bad thoughts come, as well as the desire to give up on life.
I wonder if they would express the same sentiment to a spouse, a child, or a respected colleague if they felt that, they too, exhausted all resources in their opinion.
that's bullshit. you may have some bad times that remind you of the way you feel now but it's absolutely bullshit that you will feel the same all your live. That person is too incompetent to help you. I am sure you can find someone better. If not do the eat pray love thing or something like that. It doesn't have to be typical therapy.
Thank You, Scott. I am a 71 yr old single gal who has no family and a few friends. I struggle with feeling “ dis-connected “ from the World. Your very empathetic words are saving lives and truly helping people get through another day. I am sending warm and loving energy to all of us who are struggling. Hang-on everyone.
I really hope you have a lovely day!
I'm sending warm and loving energy back to you too. Struggling too.
Warmest wishes to ya hun ...the world is disconnected now. So sad.
I understand so much... please take care of yourself...it is a horrific time now but I believe God is at work.
I am a67-year-old married lady with no family other than a narcissist husband of almost 30 years. I have no way out because of $. I do have two friends who live about 400 miles away I get to see once or twice a year and that is my only escape. I have struggled with depression since childhood but so far, because of my faith, I keep hanging on.
A psychatrist once told me that i will deal with depression for the rest of my life when I had only just turned 20 :(.. im 22 now and even though i have terrible days and anxiety, my quality of life has increased by like 1000%, i did it all myself because the mental health system is so flawed. I'm still trying to fully recover. But I'm glad i didn't give up
I’m glad you didn’t too. ♥️
power to you!
I went through a very rough depression then I went on vacation for ten days. That was all. Snapped me out of it.
Well done. 💜 This is not easy to push through
Same! I had 2 years of therapy to start me off. I couldn’t bring myself to do meds because it felt effortful and expensive to find the right one that would work for me. So, I used other outlets. I read books. I’ve been clinging onto journaling like I have been since 13. And I worked on things one step at a time. And I’m so much better for it. And knowing that my episodes are cyclical and have waves help. Because I know that the lows are temporary, and that they were getting shorter and shorter and lighter each time
I hate those mornings where I wake up and the first thing that comes into my head is "Fvck. Gotta do this again..." Those are long days.
I know, right? Since my oldest son took his own life in 2021, every day is like this. I'm alive and breathing for my youngest son, but that's about it. S**cide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but it leaves permanent problems behind for us 'survivors'. My own family can't understand why I say my life is ruined, and they knew him! Irreplaceable son, human being, love of my life!
Wow, you said what I say every day. Im suffering from something,.. that caused insomnia, anxiety,... and depression. Guilt and unforgiveable forgivenes are unbearable for me.
🙏
I hate those mornings where I wake up.
@annehedonia156
I am sorry to hear that for you and that you have to go through this. I don't know why, but something came up on my mind and it felt that I had to share it with you. I hope it can give you a bit of peace of mind ❤️🩹 m.ua-cam.com/video/a-vc6Xk-hyc/v-deo.html&pp=gAQBiAQB
I have so many of those days, feels so lonely!
" *Nobody* is qualified to tell you that you are hopeless. "
That's brutally liberating, but it also feels like an assuring hand on the shoulder.
Thank you.
Some people are helpless though, just because there are cases where people defy odds, doesn't mean there aren't thousands who don't. Some people have very hopeless situations and it's incredibly cruel to deny this reality to comfort and prioritize our feelings over the reality of the situations we don't have to live with. It reminds me of how in the autistic community some people say having a cure for autism is offensive, this is easy to say when you're high functioning with autism, but what about the severe cases where people can't speak and spend the entire day banging their head on the walls repeatedly and have to be restrained and shackled to prevent them from harming themselves? Do they not deserve a cure? Just because you managed to overcome, or don't have it so bad, or were able to make the best out of your circumstances doesn't negate some people don't have that chance whatsoever.
@@yaneznayoui1597 damn its the mental health and esteem police
No matter what people say, it is always someone's right to have a safe way to end their suffering if it is their wish to.
@@yaneznayoui1597If someone has no way of communicating they shouldn't be allowed to live.
@yaneznayoui1597 You expressed this very intelligently, clearly and honestly.
Just hearing your written words in my head was inspiring!
Best quote ‘some of us are playing Mario Bros, others are playing Dark Souls,’ I’m in the pits currently but this video has inspired me not to give up. Thank you
I'm playing Silver Surfer, Ninja Gaiden and Battletoads all at the exact same time. Already beaten the Sphere skill game from Trials Evolution and gotten the world record for it as well. That's how hardcore I am..
watch?v=TMdvQql4tyY
I'm not a video gamer, but know enough to get that one. LOL
@@Cloven137 Haha, I doubt it. I raise you nearly 20 minutes of world records in N+. Regarded one of the hardest platform games to speedrun. You had to do 5 levels in a row perfectly, before registering any of the times in them. I did 4 other perfect lvl runs at the same as each one of these clips. Life difficulty is still harder than all of these together, though. I'll write the book about it. Read it later. Gonna be called 'You Won't Believe My Story'. Epic video. Should have millions of views..
watch?v=Pqghwml2CxU
haha I feel that many peers around me are playing dark souls and I'm playing FEAR AND HUNGER
I’m playing Dark Souls figuratively and literally
My husband was told by professionals that he would just always be anxious, and he would always be stuck on meds. Turns out we were both dealing with mold toxicity from our house. Left the house, got off the meds, and we are doing better every day.
How did you determine it was mold toxicity? Did your husband have any other symptoms?
@@kats9754Commenting to follow because I've heard about mold toxicity affecting physical and mental health.
most mental health issues have health related origins. but people cant get help from a doctor and psychologists and therapists learned about the mind so they cant help too much either, sometimes it works, fix your mind fix your body, but more times its faster and healthier to fix the body and the mind follows
@@kats9754 yes I need to know!
Y’all rely way too much on businesses and doctors. Realize that your Brain is super powerful and can mentally heal itself. It can cry on command if trained (actors), it can control your body temperature etc. It’s so powerful, yet y’all immediately resort into putting medicines into your bodies which is NOT FOOD! Many side effects.
That’s why politicians love dumb people, they can’t think critically for themselves hence they are easy to manipulate.
Last year I was feeling so depressed and sad that everything I could think about was that I didn’t want to live my life anymore. I traveled to a country and spent time in nature, talked to people, made connections, watched the sunset every afternoon and spent a lot of time offline. My depression disappeared and I even forgot to take my medication. That was an amazing experience. When I came back to my “normal” life I felt depressed again. My plan now is to go back and live a slow life close to the nature and this gives me hope.
61 yr grandma here. Yes nature IS medicine. Try grounding? I don't wear shoes if I don't have to. They making 'grounding' shoes now...6 yrs ago I came off big pharma in a horrible way. Docs were no help. Took 2 YEARS before I felt semi normal. Used lots of CBD & weed to get thru the withdrawals. Swore to never go on SSRI's, benzos, opioids & seizure meds ( which I don't have)...ever again. Barely take OTC stuff...still trying to mend my brain & muscles. Nature plays a big part in your recovery.
I hope you succeed at achieving that, our “normal lives” are constructs of modern society rather than how we originally lived ❤
You were most likely lacking in vitamin D. That deficiency can cause severe depression. Kudos to you for not giving up.❤
You were most likely suffering from a vitamin D deficiency. Sunlight and fresh air and nature can really help that. So glad you are feeling better. Fish oil helps too. We are partially products of what we put into our bodies and what we surround ourselves with. As you found out.❤. Wishing you continued recovery and success in your life. 😊
I am with you sister. That is the best course of action.
What’s worse though is when you’re poor and don’t have the money to get help. It’s food or a better life…
I’ve been homeless, I’ve lived in my car, I’ve lost everything over and over again. During those times I did the most work that I’ve ever done seeking out resources and ways to be better. There is a ton of free information and help online, if you look for it. If instead you read about others in pain like you and none of them are offering options for healing, you’ll just stay in pain. You should be able to qualify for healthcare in the marketplace and within that plan they are required to offer you mental health services, and all towns offer free mental health services. But beyond that, you have a million answers at your fingertips. You started out right when you looked at a vid that was asking you not to give up. Keep moving forward and finding positive helpful resources online, not just things that confirm your pain, bc it is valid, you have every right to feel it. It’s not your fault, but it is your responsibility, and you can do it. You can be who you want to be, you just need to imagine them and work towards them. Believe they exist, and fight for their place. There are books and podcasts and a million websites that can help you.
I started by just consuming a ton of comedy because it takes the icky glaze off of my heart so I can start to find better options for how to face my demons. You’ve just got to figure out what kind of thing you respond to and then seek that out. I encourage you find something that makes you laugh, and let it lighten your heart enough to find something to help you heal. Just keep laughing until you have the strength to heal, bc laughing will keep your head above water until you have the strength to heal
Our economic system is terribly unequal and unsustainable. It’s awful that so many people can’t access healthcare.
@@catlyn777I know this all too well unfortunately. I come from a poor-middle social class and have an extremely unhealthy relationship with money. I will literally avoid eating bc it just costs too much when I can instead skip the meal and just suck it up… I hate it so much. Similarly, I’ve wanted to see a therapist for the last couple years but after being drained financially by my last psychiatrist, I don’t see how it would be worth it when it may not even work for me. I actually downloaded the “better help” app just yesterday, but even that charges like $60 a week which I just can’t see being worth it so I ended up deleting it. It’s a sad world we live in 😔
You don't need money to move forward! Most therapists are meh to bad frankly - doing your own research on psychology, techniques to help cope better, and especially working on body awareness - exercising to strengthen your body, figuring out what foods it does best with, tuning into stored tension and learning how to release stuff. It's especially empowering to make progress this way because you realise that while help from others is special and needed for some things, for the main stuff you can totally work it out yourself. Courage!
@@Anomalous_Sophistahh, was wondering how much it costed briefly... the ads don't mention $60 per week, and I feel like it might be, for some, a set and forget subscription, which makes the company cash without as much work as non subscription companies
I was told in 2021 that I would not get any better from a brain injury 1 years prior.
I was depressed and suicidal. I understand your pane of glass theory. I called it the box.
I chose to get better. I got better. I fought very hard for myself.
Never quit. Doctors do NOT know everything.
Have an ICU RN for 25 years. Although I haven't worked in two of them because I am now in a wheelchair, I never ever would let people give up hope. If they wanted an honest answer, I would tell them ," you have to ask me what I would do if this were my mother father sister Etc..". Because I can only tell you what I would do with the knowledge I have If This Were my family member. But I would never ever lose hope, for anyone. Even when they are taking their last breath I have seen crazy Miracles I have seen awful tragedies. Doctors don't know everything, usually the nurse is no more, lol I'm just kidding, but we do spend a lot more time with the patients. If you want to fight you fight and you never give up. Thank you for staying, we need you here with us❤❤
Is that all you can say?? Never Quit?? Smh
You did damn good. ❤
I chose to get better. Yeah it doesn’t always work like that. If it did nobody would be depressed.
Any doctor who tells you "you'll never get better" is either lazy or wants to make money off you. Are their just an asshole
This video should go viral. A lot of people need to hear these words 😢
Yes!!!!
Agreed!
And there are just as many people who are sick of hearing them.
It is upsetting that many are calling this a short coming of the doctor who was honest with her about the limits of treatment.
It robs her of her autonomy as it pushes an assumption she is not capable of making this decision.
It is cruel to force people to live if they do not want to.
It’s the ultimate action of free will.
Yes
@@tslinger21 Agreed. I wrote A Thing about my experiences as an autistic woman with BPD and major depressive disorder. I am more curious what her life growing up was like, how many hospitalizations she has, and what her reasoning is. Also how long has she had a negligible quality of life and why?
All these are really important things to know before drawing a conclusion about her decision. 28 is young but people commit suicide at that age, too.
I think people are attached to hero stories and miracles. I also wonder how many people with opinions have offered to help pay for private specialized treatment which is needed to keep some of these people alive.
I paused at 8 seconds in..No judgment from me...a fellow mental health sufferer. I, too was in a dark place this morning upon waking. Using all my recently learned skills to reason my way into the day took about two hours. While practicing "wise mind" thinking, I realized that logic was playing no part in my angst - it was all emotion. Yet I have lived with collapsing emotion for so long that it is a huge challenge to balance it with logic. Strength to all of us.
😢keep on swimming 🏊♀️
I've been where the person he's talking about is, and it is so much worse when a doctor says something like that. One thing that helps me day to day is understanding that depression comes with the understanding that we live in an imperfect world. For so many reasons, we feel the pain in this world more keenly. This also means we can live and love more fully, but we need to give ourselves the care and compassion that we simply can't get out of the world. I start my day with gratitude and the prayer that no one should understand the darkness that depression sufferers fight all the time. I've had times when suicide looks like the only answer since I was six, though I rarely soke of it, I thought everyone felt that way. I'm 60 now, and there are times I still feel like that, I have come to understand the harm I would cause people I may not even know. I also have come to learn that we all have a like in us that darkness cannot defeat once we are willing to share it at all costs.
I also woke up today in a very very bad place in my mind, happening more often lately. I’m 40, I used alcohol to deal for 2 decades. Been sober for about 7 years, there were two years during sobriety where I was able to not be depressed and anxious 24/7, however it has been returning, and I often think about both returning to the alcohol or ending it completely. This life is not way. Ever. Even when you put the work in. I exercise, meditate, hike, reflect, try new habits and routines…even with tremendous effort, I wish I were not alive.
@@jimmcd5660 - Like me, we seek permanent answers to questions we may never have asked of ourselves. I asked the questions and found the root causes of my issues. That was the easy part. Undoing and replacing deeply held incorrect beliefs continues to hold me back from a good life. I am not alone. I will not quit.
@@jimmcd5660 i have been through similar feelings and used alcohol for decades too. i found that going to AA meetings caused my depression to get worse (took a long time to make the connection). there's another program called "smart recovery", and it is popular in the EU. it uses CBT and group therapy to challenge our beliefs. hope your day improves. be kind to yourself.
My father killed himself in 2006, I found out years later that only a few months before he died, he was told by a board of doctors in a mental hospital that if he ever "came back" they would make him a ward of the state and never let him go.
thats horrible... I'm so sorry that your dad had to go through that. I'm also sorry for your loss.
Truly hideous. 🙏
💔
Im so sorry 😞 what a horrific thing.
I am so sorry. That should never have happened to him.
A majority of my depression definitely comes from not having anything I feel like is worth being alive for. Never really did ever. It's just becoming too much to power through the bullshit that is life without a really good reason. I don't consider simply being alive a good reason.
Especially when the world is one fucking ugly dumpster fire of hate and greed and poverty and perversion.
same, I do feel that
though for me, I went to philosophy for help and learnt many different views towards life
today, i see life as a one-time 70-100 years trial of consciousness, and eventually, I can get it cancelled as I grow old and die and refuse to purchase any subscription to consciousness again after death
I also learn to be comfortable with not living for a reason or purpose, but instead, to just stay seated in the roller coaster ride cause it's a one-time ride.
In fact, in philosophy, having no purpose in life can be seen as a good thing too, because no purpose means no expectations, no disappointments, no regrets. you just start living life for what it is, not for why it is a thing. you will never be thinking about what's next, and constantly chasing things for your whole life, you will be start living in the present
maybe u can try looking into philosophy, which I think is just as important as psychology
That is absolutely false. A majority of depression comes from genetic/biological predisposition to depression, not from negative life experiences.
@@gregorymalchuk272if u dont mind, could you send me the research supporting your statement? im interested in understanding your view
Agreed
I have CPTSD from child abuse. I can't tell you how many therapists have told me, " you can only manage your symptoms, but you can't be cured." Therapy becomes a glorified form of bullying almost. I won't give up on myself.
And you shouldn’t! I also have cptsd from brother and mother abuse. But I’m telling you… we can be healed !🙏 It takes time surely, one day at a time.🧡
I have gotten so much better over the past few years just working on myself and it keeps me hopeful that I can live life without so much fear in my heart. I pray you the happiest recovery my love. 🤍You are going to take back your life. I’m cheering you on :)
Pete Walker’s book on CPTSD is very helpful with providing a roadmap for treatment. Those people don’t know what the hell they’re working with.
The thing is, it's OK if you can't be cured. It doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. A lot of conditions are chronic and can be hard to manage, but it is just the nature of the sickness, not a moral failing
@ellotheregovna401 I read it, and while he explains the symptoms well, it falls short for me because it's too deterministic for me. I believe that survivors have the ability to achieve alot more than the therapeutic community leads on. I met a holocaust survivor who is 96 years old. He was told he needed to become a carpenter. He became a doctor, got married, and had a son who is a commercial pilot. In an interview when asked how he coped with the trauma, he said, "keeping busy help."
@@battlehymnoftheempath3610At the same time, if a therapist promised something they couldn't deliver they'd be giving the patient false hope.
It’s not malpractice, its malevolence
Exactly , that’s inhuman , she had hope , many of us had a lot of problems and fight to get by , this is wrong
They do it to save money.
@@firstnamelastnamethirdnameThat makes no sense. They make more money by keeping people hanging there. People need to pick a side, if they don’t offer a final solution , “they’re getting rich on her illness”; if they tell the person there’s nothing left to do “they’re saving money” 😂
You have hit the nail on the head. My first thought is that this is terrible beyond words but you have found the right one
@@Schrodingers_KatHow about we just tell the truth and say how vile and dystopian it is.
I'm autistic and also have bpd and depression.
This horrified me because my worst fear of all time is having someone tell me I can never be happy, that there's nothing they can do to help me.
It also cuts straight down to that fear of abandonment that so many bpd folks in particular face.
That you are "not good enough", not worthy of help. It really sucks feeling that way in your own head, so imagine a person who is *supposed* to help telling you this.
forgot to add the cptsd as well haha. point still stands
Unfortunately, this is the reality for most BPD sufferers. I’ve seen a lot of horror stories where mental health “professionals” give up and kick us out the door or give us terrible advice. I’d also went through many, MANY “professionals” who were absolute jokes.
Luckily, after dozens of flops I found one who is wonderful, compassionate, genuinely cares for her patients and actually knows her stuff. Idk what I’d do without her. She was my last attempt at seeking help and I’m so thankful I found her, I was gonna give up trying. I’ve been with her for 10 years, she knows I can’t afford her services and doesn’t even charge me and I’m so grateful. I know I’ll never find another like her.
(CPSTD and BPD tend to go hand in hand btw)
Nobody has the right to tell you that you can never be happy, or that you’re not good enough or that you’re beyond help. Nobody, let alone a medical professional. ❤
I can only try to help you from the standpoint of a dietician. Recent studies have shown rather impressive benefits of a ketogenic diet for people with BPD. Neurological activity running on ketones are much more stable without the spikes and valleys. So i urge you to try either a ketogenic diet you can follow, or simply go carnivore to make it easier but a bit more pricey.
Imagine being the partner. That's equally as scary if not more to have the person you love voluntarily leave you forever.
You're not wrong, but I'm exhausted and nearly completely hopeless.
25+ years of terrible disappointment, pain, and suffering.
I want to hug you so bad :(
Agree. I've been an empty place for 18 years already
Please hold on.
I'm 53, anxiety started for me when i was around 12yo, coupled with chronic depression at 26.
I recovered after 30yo, completely.
I want you to know it's definitely a possibility.
I wanna get a stellate ganglion block injection if I could. Maybe check it out. It's supposedly permanent.
How old are you? Please know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE, I've been in that dark place during many years, I'm not THAT better now but I know for a fact I won't kill myself. I will fight this for the rest of my life if necessary, doesn't matter if I reach the mountain top or not. Just want to feel better before I die
That Dark Souls/Mario analogy was spot on for me (One of the five people who understood it.) Not everyone gets to live their life with powerups and extra lives. Some of us have to crawl on our knees and fight tooth and nail, hoping and praying a bonfire is just around the corner so we don't lose everything we've fought for.
The funny thing is and for anyone that's played Dark Souls before, once you know what to do, things get much, much easier in the game.
Dark souls I think is proof that a lot of times, our most difficult struggles can be overcome. Especially when the solution is as simple as picking the master key, opting for a sorceror build, getting key equipmet by sequence breaking before the first boss.
Even if you've never played a video game before, you can beat a game that is that difficult with the right person guiding you along the way.
Dark Souls taught me that nothing is stronger tha ganking. So co-op always wins.
@@TarTarkus-un9nb
@@TarTarkus-un9nb Such choices make things easier, but lead to a less rewarding journey.
@Gorgonzeye Why make things harder if it's not necessary though?
If you have major personal struggles, solving them as quickly, efficiently and with the least amount of pain is smart.
For Dark Souls, how you start doesn't matter so long as you can grow into being able to tackle what the game throws at you.
Dark Souls was the game that taught me I can do hard things. I wish life felt as rewarding as it does, but it's proof to me that I can persist and I can defeat challenges on my own terms
As a mental health professional myself, working with addicts I am appalled, embarrassed, and broken hearted by this story.
That is NOT client centered, has no unconditional positive regard, No compassion!!
Whoever that practioner is they need to leave the profession. 😢😢
We ALL deserve care, compassion.
Absolutely
You know Marsha Linehan was “incurable “, but spent a year with Buddhist monks and came out with DBT as a result!
@aquariusdreaming exactly!! There is something called referral in the profession. That does not always mean to another psychology professional.
you have it completely backwards imo
Please tell the outside world to practice care and compassion because that's where the harm is coming from
This is why recovering addicts are the best counselors.....give me a counselor who has been there every single time. Thank you Dr. Scott for being one of those special ones.
I’d be concerned if someone helping me hadn’t been there
Yessir. My grandfather is 30 years clean himself now, and he spent 20+ of those working at Fort Campbell in KY, using his own experiences with Vietnam, drug use, and bi-polar to genuinely help some of these people in ways that someone who had not been there wouldn't understand to the same degree.
100 percent, i feel like depression if one of those things you cannot truly comprehend and empathise with until
you’ve experienced it, i sure know i didn’t understand what it really was and how it effects you until i developed it.
That article is truly heartbreaking. I don't blame you for struggling to find the words to say about it, because there really aren't many. That said, I'm sorry to see you so shaken up like this. It's true that clients should not internalize the inadequacies of the field of mental health, but you shouldn't either. It's frustrating, it's not fair, I'm sure you wish you could speak to this woman right now and help her. But try not to blame yourself for other people's stupid mistakes.
Thank you for making this video. I am tired. I'm tired of working, going to college, doing basic functioning tasks. I'm tired of trying to be okay. I'm tired of suffering so much and not being able to let anyone else into my personal life because they won't understand if I'm honest to them. I'm tired of fighting my demons. I'm tired of feeling so powerless and hopeless. I'm tired of living. It's taking all of my energy to keep myself from doing something reckless. And meanwhile I'm supposed to keep acting like everything is fine because I've learned that there is no space for me to not be fine. My dumb brain just keeps getting worse. Finding someone who I actually feel is capable of reaching me seems impossible. I'm going to keep trying and I'm going to keep living. But I'd be lying if I said I was happy about it. If anyone relates to this, I'm sorry. Just know you're stronger than you think you are.
You are strong as well!
I relate and I'm so sorry ❤
I can relate also and I hope you can find relief!
I feel you... I'm so tired also. Was just thinking earlier how I wish there was some place I could go to be put to sleep. No family.. No friends. While my mind deteriorates more and more, I'm petrified of becoming a ward of the state. Just put me to sleep.
I feel you... Fighting depression, anxiety and Bpd.. It's hell on earth... I barely have energy to do basic stuff.. I wear a mask that I am OK while I am not.. Sometimes I wish I could scream myself out... Just scream and let all of that out of... Wish all of that ends one day for all of us..
I called a crisis line. They proceeded to tell me I wasn’t having a real crisis, and they needed to keep the line open for people who really need it.
Wow. That's just... wow.
Wtf 😡😡see this is why i never even bothered to try calling any of those numbers
See, this is what I mean. What the h*ll is the profession doing when they tell people in crisis that they're not in crisis??? They need to get their heads out of their ass*s and actually start helping. And at the least, "do no harm."
I stopped trying to look for any help just because I can't handle being retraumatized more. Those are the people who achieved this shit
This has happened to me, and it’s devastating. I am so sorry, i feel for you and send my love. Sarah ❤
It is true that we do not know what will happen in the future. I had a rock bottom depressive episode when I was 22. My attempt was unsuccessful thankfully. The years that followed were autopilot. Very little joy even though I was a stay at home mom to 4 children. My turning point began when I was 44 years old. A neighbor needed help feeding his bottle calves. That learning experience changed my life. (I tell my neighbor often that he changed my life.) Now I raise livestock, garden, preserve the harvest, use natural medicine and live life with great joy. I do still have my days when the old me comes back and I see the world with despair. In those days, Dr. Scott, you always have a wise word and I appreciate you.
Your story is truly amazing. I kept thinking about it and sharing it. It is so unpredictable what will make us 'click'. What was in feeding the calves that changed you? Thank you ❤
@@benedettasavitri9644 I think it was mostly that my neighbor ( 3 miles down the road neighbor) was encouraging me, had faith in me that I was of worth. He was teaching me a skill that I never even knew about.
Livestock was something that none of my siblings did. I was the only one out of 6 that did not have a higher education or career. I was a stay at home mom. With the feeding of the calves, it opened a whole new world to me of "homesteading". Now I thrive in it and feel useful to this world.
I know raising 4 children is a very worthwhile achievement, but when society at large pushes higher education, its sometimes hard to find self worth outside of societies pressures.
@@benedettasavitri9644 It was much more that my neighbor found worth in me and taught me a skill I which I did not know about. I do not have higher education like my siblings and felt a little less than. Keeping livestock, gardening, natural medicines are useful skills that I learned by reading and doing. People often ask, "what is my purpose in life?". I have now found that our life purpose changes with time. Not that the new purpose is better than the previous, it's just different. I was once an obedient daughter and good student, then a wife along with raising 4 children. Now I live a rural life, am a helpmate to my husband and look after my aging parents. Someday I will be a grandmother. Life flows, we must learn to flow with it.
That sounds so wonderful, I wish I could visit your farm. I dream of having my own homestead one day. I love animals and feel at peace around them, plus a few kind humans. I've felt depressed at how far out of reach having a homestead feels, especially in the UK where land is expensive and we're not allowed to build homes in the countryside. But maybe there's another way I could do it. Reading your story gave me some hope, thanks for sharing.
If that changed your life then you didn't have it bad at all.
"Nobody is qualified to tell you that you are hopeless." 💯 Thank you for being such a powerful voice
I cried during this episode. It really hit me hard. I saw this on FB this week and my first thought was, "I can do that?" I'm 53 and have been depressed all my life. My hope is extremely minimal. In my mind, the only thing keeping me alive is my 14 year old daughter and what it would do to her if I died. Dr Scott, your videos have helped me more than you can possibly know. I so wish that you were in Canada so I could see you. Instead, I just bought your book and can't wait to read it. Thank you, Dr Scott, for all you do.
His book is excellent. He communicates so well with you because he has been there. Its like having an understanding friend holding your hand not a psychotherapist talking from miles away. I hope his book helps you like it helped me.
@@susanhills8015 Thank you! I will start it today. I'm glad that it was able to help you ❤️
i feel you, friend. 🤍
I hear you. I’m almost 55 and have been battling depression and low self-esteem probably most of my life, and it stems from living with my mother’s mental illness and her subsequent suicide when I was 11. I just got on with life and took over caring for the house and my sister, but now I realize I never got over the loss. There’s always a void. Your daughter does need you more than you know. More than she may know now. She’ll appreciate you when she’s 30 if she’s going through any of that pre-frontal cortex coming online awkward teenage stuff. Have you tried something like mushroom gummies or capsules? Seems to take the edge off. Sending you love and hugs!
@@mjrussell414 I'm sorry about your mom. After the divorce, mine was never around so I also took over caring for my brother and sister. I was 10. I thought about mushrooms. There's a clinic here that offers mushroom therapy, but it costs $4000!
I am one of those hopeless cases on whom the mental health care system has utterly given up. However I am now in the middle of a spontaneous remission. I am super happy and I have found a reason to live. The turnaround was not totally spontaneous. I had to kick.some bad people out of my life, but I got better. I feel this video. Thank you for this apology. It means a lot to me.
Cool!
I pray your remission is permanent
Friends, family, accountability, avoiding alcohol, avoiding illegal drugs, and repitition of good habits every day. Its the only way. But you can do it!! I'm living proof! I was seen as severe, out of control. In my teens I was an absolute wreck and a danger to myself and others.
Now I've been on meds consistantly for 8 years, I make mindful evaluations of my feelings and thoughts at all times, I focus on my goals and make notes to check on the people I love (autism and adhd makes it hard to keep track without a diary). My BPD is in remission, but I still never forget or deny that I HAVE it. I take accountability for every one of my feelings and actions
I have been told by my psychiatrist that there is nothing else they can do for me. I have major depressive disorder that seems to be treatment resistant. I have tried so many different medications and treatments. I cannot seem to get out of this!! I fight every day all day just to survive! I understand why she chose this route. When I think of living the rest of my life this way I think why bother!
Dr. Scott your words mean a lot to someone like me! Please keep doing what you are doing you give me the hope to keep going even when I’m exhausted and ready to give up! Thank you
Hi Rebecca. I'm sorry you're going through this. Please try the carnivore diet, just for a month. I know it sounds insane, but just give it a shot. There is no reason not to. I don't know how to inspire you, so please search "carnivore depression" on youtube and just listen to these vids.
@@HunxRepairgreat comment! I've been carnivore for 20 months now. I haven't gotten off my meds, but I do feel that it helps my head a great deal. I still have a lot of problems to deal with. And I'm still a trauma survivor, with an ACE score of 7 which does affect me everyday. But I am so happy to be living the carnivore lifestyle and it does keep me on a more even keel emotionally and I feel so much less physical pain and illness than I did before. I was thinking that I wish this woman that Scott is talking about could be guided to the carnivore diet and decide to give it a try before giving up.
Try micro dosing mushrooms? Try weed? Weed saved my life.
@@chifreak6I learned that antidepressants kind of neutralize psilocybin mushrooms. So people that are on an antidepressant won't experience the same high that someone who is not on an antidepressant will if they were to use psilocybin. A caveat some people don't know about. And I agree that cannabis is good for helping me sleep and taking the edge off if I'm too anxious or stressed.
@@therealdeal3672yes this is true, and it breaks my heart. The people that most need mushrooms can't get their benefits, due to them being on srris. I've been stuck on antidepressants for many years despite many attempts to ween off. :(
2:45 "Please don't internalize the inadequacies of the mental health field." 4:54 "Nobody is qualified to tell you that you are hopeless. Nobody." 💖
A lot of psychiatrist never had depression or OCD, so they do not understand what people been thru. Theory is a good thing but if you've been there and seen there you know what you are talkig about. Thank you dr. Scott for words of wisdom!
Exactly!
I'm a therapist. I've struggled with mental illness my whole life & was raised in utter chaos. Healing what attracted me to psychology and eventually becoming a counselor. Ask your potential counselors if they are humanists and have they struggled depression & see that one ❤ best wishes friends!
My friend struggled with a lot mentally, dealing with depression, attempting to take her own life, coming from an abusive family and having been in a traumatic car accident resulting with PTSD.
She is academically VERY smart. So she got back on her feet, going to Uni to study psychology and she wants to be a counselor. I’m so proud of her for moving forward in life. She is honestly so inspiring and I think she’d be a great counselor . ❤️😊
I attempted it many years ago. We used to tell people "depression lies," and that the lies are the ideas that "things will never get better" or "you'd be better off dead." Now, it seems more doctors and politicians would rather accept that lie because it's easier and less expensive than saving lives. It's horrifying.
@@tslinger21 What? I said that depression tells lies like "things will never get better," and that it's horrifying that more dr's and politicians would rather repeat the lie. How on Earth is that bullying?
Not exactly. Politicians don’t want to spend money to help us get better, and money is required to do that. But they still can’t afford for the workforce to off themselves, which is what more and more people will do as we become progressively more dystopian. So they don’t want you to get better, but they don’t want you to die and stop working (probably why this story got headlines, and why legal euthanasia is rare in the US).
This is why suicide hotlines and mental prisons (“hospitals”) exist. Those are forms of citizen surveillance and control, not mental health treatment. Many red states will detain you, and then dump you at mental institute against your will, regardless of whether or not you have insurance or money to pay for it (and you will have to), simply for choosing to use a suicide hotline. Sometimes they won’t help you until they receive your contact info, so they can dispatch police while they pretend to care about you. The hotlines don’t even use professionals, it’s often just barely-trained volunteers. I’m sure people here will give anecdotal evidence as to why their particular hotline is not the problem…but it is. They all are. This is a system of oppression toward the mentally unhealthy, since we are perceived as too expensive to treat. Do not use suicide hotlines, as they will just make you more suicidal. Seek a therapist or group first.
@@zacky7572 The "less expensive" part mainly applies to Canada. Trudeau and woke activists don't care if the population declines. They think it's better for climate change, and saves money on "free" healthcare.
She has Autism too. Autism is a Neurological condition. There is no cure for it. Also people will whine about us being on disability, so what do they expect? This is the harsh reality of life.
@@365ral you really think the "woke" politicians are the ones taking away mental health resources? Also, newsflash. In most places there are no "woke" or to be more specific far left politicians with power. There are centrist politicians only. Far left politicians have the goal of free and accessible mental health services.
I've been in therapy of one sort or another for decades. Some was useless, some was harmful, and some helped a little bit. My current therapist offers sympathy and little else. Her favorite saying is "that must be hard for you", but there is no practical help offered to make my struggle easier. Your videos have been more helpful than any of the therapists I've had. Please keep making them, and thank you for caring enough to try to help.
Yes it’s incredibly frustrating! One of my therapists even said to me I was very good at being a therapist myself. Perhaps I was trying to compensate! 😂
That's exactly what therapy was like for me. That's why I don't go anymore. 🤦♀️
I can help myself better than they ever could
@@ciera4935 it's rubbish
I feel worse afterwards
That is not a good therapist. Jeesh.
If you want concrete advice, tell them that you want concrete advice. Tell them in no uncertain terms and keep asking for it. If you don't do this, they will err on the side of caution, because thier ethics prohibits them from telling you what to do, and concrete advice walks that thin line that many therapists are afraid to cross.
i have been told by two mental health professionals "i dont think i can help you" and it sticks with me
3rd time's the charm
hey I am on my third therapist and this one is working, I am still here now
I am 67 years old.
I have been in the mental Health System since 1989..
I been treated like shit by the Mental Health System.
I am not just saying this to get Brownie Points from YOU.
BUT,
You have changed my whole life to one of being more active, positive and especially not to give up..
I know I depending a long time on Dr's ect that only had book knowledge.
Your experience has made all the difference.
If this lady could listen to You.
I know YOU could give her hope.
GOD bless you to be so concern about a lady really in a terrible crisis..
U ever been on medications?
Thanks for this Dr Scott. My (ex) psychologist once told me if im not going to do the work he wanted me to do with his deadlines, he couldn't help me and nobody else could. He practically broke up with me. Gave up on me. I ended up in a mental clinic not long after. I met my current psychologist there. He was willing to help me hang on until i was ready and had the strength to do the work. But for a long time he was just there, helping me to just keep living. And that was what I needed.
I'm a psychiatrist and had a relative struggle with self-harm, emotional dysregulation, eating d/o, and multiple hospitalizations as a teenager. It would have been easy to assume she was headed for a life of misery as an adult and that there was no hope. Fortunately, several years ago she got involved in DBT with other teens and has turned her life around. She tends to be a bit anxious, but she's rockin it as a young adult and almost through college. No more self-harm. In a healthy relationship. It's complete B.S. for any psychiatrist or other mental health professional to ever tell a patient/client that there's no hope. Never give up! Life isn't fair and is often difficult, but I honestly believe there's always hope. I had a cousin take his own life about 30 years ago. He never got another chance...
I appreciate you ❤️
Which parent is a narc or ppath? BPD which is a temporary condition only occurs when there is a narc or psychopath with caregiving responsibilities prior to age 12. extremely abnormal external factors are at play with self-harm because mammals are not wired to act against their survival instincts unless extreme measures are needed to protect their survival. A child faced with abuse will take extreme measures to survive and this is what is called BPD.
@@atheistbewildered2987nope
@@atheistbewildered2987 interesting I never heard about that theory about bpd.
It's definitely a theory not fact. @@sandralison7584
I got full body chills when you said the bit about watching the world behind a pain of glass and sitting in the basement in the dark listening to a party you cant join. I related to that so heavily.
I was told for 20 years there was nothing else that could be done for me. I finally found the right help in my 30s. ❤
Dont believe those lies they told you
cute kitty :)
What was it?
People with BPD are frequently told that they cannot be treated. Cluster B personality disorders are highly stigmatized and regarded by professionals as incurable. Not an uncommon experience, actually. BPD is also specifically a disorder that you only develop as a response to trauma, and because autistic people lack the social skills to protect ourselves from predators, we are statistically a lot more likely to be traumatized than the general population. To be honest, as someone with the same set of diagnoses as this woman, I wish I could explain to you all just how awful and hopeless it is. Imagine the only thing you've ever wanted in your whole life is one singular human being who could see you for who you really are without abandoning you, and it never happens. Imagine lacking the social skills to even make a friend like a normal person. You can say that things will get better, but the numbers don't lie, and the average life expectancy of people with a BPD diagnosis is 25, and the second biggest killer of autistic people after seizures is suicid3. These are extremely isolating disorders to live with.
It can get better. Dont give up. Ive fought this shit my whole life. And I refuse to give up, im too goddamn stubborn not to grow, learn, love laugh and leave this world a better place than it was before I came. You can too ❤❤
Same set of problems here. I understand your pain. I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it a lot. Holding down a job is hard, making and keeping friends is near impossible, life just hits you with one thing after another, trust me I understand.
It sucks, there's no way around it. Psychedelics like ayahuasca and shrooms have helped me move past some of the symptoms. I have cptsd as well from narcissistic and physical abuse growing up. All I can say is to keep moving forwards. That's all you can do. Maybe you can help share your knowledge and experiences with the world to help them heal and grow. That's what I hope to do, but as fate would have it, I found myself stuck at rock bottom.
Keep going. I hope things get better for you. I really do because I know how much things suck.
Is it really a coincidence that in the past ten years we’ve seen a MASSIVE amount of people being diagnosed as autistic, who don’t act/communicate ANYTHING like autistic people?
I can’t help but feel this is big pharma & modern psychology’s new adhd…
Keep here, keep there... It seems like a game about losing instead of keeping: losing your mental stability, losing your ego, losing your dignity. And for what? To live just another day? The only thing I see people tell you to keep is your miserable life.
At these moments only one thing could make the difference: changing your state of life. You can take it away or just change the background, but keeping the same shit over and over, just because people around you can't stand your choice is miserable.
Im giving you a big hug right now.
The worst thing when you're feeling that hopeless is the feeling of being totally alone in it. I suffer from chronic hopelessness, and man, it's hard to not got to the dark place. This post is really shines a light into that darkness. Thank you for taking this very, very painful subject seriously and compassionately.
Your not alone thinking and praying for you x
You should get a bicycle.
If anything videos like this/people commenting on videos like this demonstrate that there are a lot of people going through the same struggles. We are all human, we all have similar hopes/dreams and we all feel the pain when reality does not align with our expectations for ourselves, or people don't appreciate the pain we're going through. You are not alone, nor are you the first person to feel those things.
As an autistic and suicidal person, this is absolutely sad. What is wrong with that person who said there was no help left for this lady?
Please hold on. I'm autistic too, so I know that I can be hard.
The wrong thing with this person was actually being right and honest
This is why I quit studying mental health. It harmed me and I’ve watched it harm others. What I really need is the ppl who are supposed to care actually show up and care
Facts
Hu?
Nature and kind people making videos on the internet helped me way more than any "professional"
Too many people looking for perfection. What they really should be looking for is authenticity and your true self. Suicide creates a ripple effect that is felt for generations.
I'm going through something, would you suggest I reach out to mental health services (I'm in the UK), or just leave it since I can see myself getting better.
I have struggled with depression for 12 years. All i need is love. Coffee ☕️ and cake are one reason to live for. Every morning for breakfast, one thing to look forward to.
I’m sorry that you have struggled so much. I had to laugh though when I saw “cake” because I’ve thought that too. Well, as long as there is cake🥰🤣
I too stuggle with depression. I find a walk in the morning is great way to deal with it.
Please try some sunshine and vitamin D supplements along with Fish or fish oil supplements. It really works and helped my depression a lot. I can now get through the day. I'm so sorry for your suffering. May you find all of the support you want.💛. Hang in there. Sending you a mental hug. I hope you feel better soon.
That's very sweet. I agree.
Yum but broken tummybox says no
As someone diagnosed with ASD, ADHD, OCD, and BPD (and suffering with something akin to chronic depression), I've been told the exact same by a psychiatrist. I left his office crying and having a complete meltdown. He didn't even attempt to comfort me. I already hadn't seen a future for myself in years - and that man obliterated any little hope could've had. I heavily considered throwing myself in front of a car on my way back home multiple times.
Please don’t let someone else define you. You have a special, beautiful brain. Take care to figure out what you uniquely need. Sometimes “helpers” can be very abusive. Guard your heart.
Know that there are people who truly care, no matter how few. Persist. If only to prove them wrong. That might have to do for awhile.
@@maryk4588 Wonderful answer Mary. True and loving.
I have DID, BPD PTSD CHRONIC DEPRESSION have multiple times tried to "unalive" myself and living on a thin thread to keep on living, believing all the lies with people like this telling me to keep on suffering during this lifelong garbage F them all honestly 😡😡
Ive cried and pointlessly cried myself to the point of physical problems and health issues, there is no one coming to help you or make anything better, you are on your own and the only thing you can do is somewhat help yourself but that can only go so far 😢
@@maryk4588can you go up to a rusty unfixable car and try to salvage and repair it in tip top condition from a stone? You won't get very far in doing so, you will throw your tools around and fix some parts somewhat? this is why i don't trust any healthcare professionals anymore with my broken mind, they are incompetent and were hopeless in helping me, you can't fix broken which you cannot see mentally, we are a "danger, threat" to society until we crack and then they will somewhat "help" us after throwing us in hospital then lock us up when they can't think what else to help us with, we are a black hole 🕳️ in society on what is the norm, society has broken and corrupt us as children but yet when they gob us out we are supposed to survive that and comply to the norm? You get my point here, I've also insisted and been and advocate for assisted suicide in Europe and the UK for a while so i don't suffer anymore in trying to hurt myself on ending my life, UK folks will not have that luxury, so i just have to keep on living a somewhat existence till i croak and die with no purpose i guess 🤷🏾♀️ my voice is void but my advocate is meaningful
There are plenty of times where nothing gets better even over years/decades. Some problems never get better. Nobody should be forced to live in a hopeless situation.
Appreciate you calling a spade a spade. A great deal of "calling out" the mental health corporation/cult is indicated.
There are people that cannot afford help and just want the suffering to stop. There are people that want help and are denied help, gaslit by therapists and medical professionals and told “it’s getting nice out, go take a walk”~DO medical doctor-WI, told how “inconvenient” testing is because “it would required multiple office visits to take the tests and therapy and meds will help” tells you they’ll email you therapists but never emails you~ PhD, IL or how helpful tests would be, that “often they’re done when there is a complicated history or let’s say services are needed in the home or school” and doesn’t recommend anything, the conversation just ends right there ~ therapist, IL. Some of these people are adults looking to be diagnosed, affirmed and supported and can’t or aren’t. It’s like an intentional block, a far fetched service some don’t have access to. Some people don’t have supports. Some people get worn out, they just don’t know what else to do. It’s sad.
it’s kinda hellish, if i’m honest.
@@lisalasersI'm sorry. I hope you're able to access everything you need to feel better soon. I'm sending you healing vibes your way. Also try vitamins D and B1 and fish oil supplements. They've been proven to help depression,or at least make it tolerable. Works for me. Hopefully everything works out for you. Please don't give up. Keep on fighting. ❤
@@StubbornclarityHUUUEEGG I just remembered Gonesh's lavender incense sticks! I like to smoke up a room with them and listen to calming music! Oh, I'm so excited!
While I am appalled at their glib response/lack of compassion etc. I will say that exercise definitely helps me to a degree when I'm feeling down.
I've been here. A therapist told me they couldn't do anything. I knew it all. That led me to the most amazing therapist who DID help me. I feel so much better than I did. It isn't hopeless. It feels it but it isn't. ❤
You won't really understand the pain....unless you have been through it.
Trouble is, when you go to the doctors feeling grim, all they do is load you up with anti-depressants (which I don’t take, so I have to just struggle on with no support). I’m an older person with no family, no friends, no children and who lives in a town where no-one cares about people enough to extend the hand of friendship. My neighbour is a priest who stands at the pulpit on Sundays spouting ‘love thy neighbour’ but whose family never even says “hello”. My future looks as bleak as this woman’s.
Sending you so much love ❤️ you seem like an amazing person, I'd have loved to hang out with you if I were your neighbour
Maybe psychedelics will work better for you than traditional antidepressants
I'm in the same boat...I never married, 60 years old, no relatives bcoz i am an orphan, very little friends, suffering daily pain due to bladder pain syndrome. I am tired of daily suffering. Not worth living.
You are going to be OK. Hugs
@@calsonyap8337 Perhaps Google Marek Jantos. He is an Australian Pain Specialist, particularly Urogenital pain: bladder etc. I saw him for Vulvadynia (pain during intercourse). Marek travels the world speaking at medical conferences. BTW, he was not born in Australia so don't expect an Australian accent LOL. Marek knows his stuff, believe me! All the best 🤗
Through my tears I hang onto hope for myself and for others and this vulnerable video just hits home. Thank you Dr ....
Hit home for me too.
I'm so sorry for your suffering 😢. Please try fish oil supplements and vitamins D and B1. Full spectrum CBD oil. Exercise in the morning sunlight. Please don't give up. I know that you're hurting and I empathize so much. Some days I just have to hang on. But once I tweaked my diet and nutrition things got better for me. Not all better but much more tolerable. Wishing you all the very best❤❤❤. I'm praying you and everyone else here feels better soon.
I need to be able to care for my daughter
For many of us, it's very difficult to continue to hang on because it seems that nothing we do makes things better. People forget that depression is often a terminal disease. It hurts. I do hope this young woman finds someone somewhere who will help her hang on, but I know the feeling of just wanting the pain to stop. It's a daily fight.
I’m sick and getting worse by the day. I lost my dog, my job and my insurance and have no hope to get better. I understand her perspective. I pray daily for God to put an end to my life. My mother could help financially but chooses not to, which adds to the hurt.
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I know people who lost everything and felt hopeless and some even tried committing. But years later they found happiness they never thought they would have. I know everything probably feels hopeless and the pain is not worth it but please keep going. You don’t know where you will be years from now. If I had ended myself at 18, at the time I never knew what I would have now.
I am so sorry for what you are going through and the person that should help will not.
How are you doing now?
I think most often it’s not necessarily the mental health community or professionals that let people down, but rather modern society and expectations. As someone with depression and persistent existential dread, I find it difficult to be a functional and productive contributing member of society. What does that lead to? Possible job loss, possible long periods of time between jobs, having and earning less money to pay for rent and food and medical services and therapy… it’s hard enough to live with any kind of illness, but add adulting on top of that and just surviving financially, that’s when it becomes impossible to want to keep living. Rent and gas prices don’t wait for you to get better. Neither do most relationships, realistically.
Just don't give up so that the government has the chance to milk you for your tax money.
Exactly! You have no choice but to struggle. I’ve been on both ends.. having money but no time to do anything and not having money which means anxiety with bills and rent and getting kicked out. There is no winning and not to mention being a gifted child but ending up being a failure without a job.
I was depressed since i was a child, bullied, went to a special school. I had 2 abortions under pressure, 1 healty son and 4 miscarriages. Was bullied again in the hospital where i worked when i had the 4 miscarriages, worse. I'm not saying this because i want pity. But because i was so depressed that i was suicidel, for a long time. Not seeying any light, not even my son because i felt so dark. Now i'm so much better because i take care of myself, i care about myself! I felt nobody understood me. Not a medium, psycholigist, medication etc helped me. I did the work, hard work and have compassion for myself. PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP!!!❤
Yes, this!! I was diagnosed with clinical depression after being depressed all my life, disabled since birth. God told me the meds would not help. Stopped taking them and worked on myself. This is how you get healed. If you have peace with God and yourself, that is what matters most.
Wow...I'm so sorry you had to go through that and people treated you that way, nobody deserves that - I can't even imagine bullying a woman who has just suffered a miscarriage, what a bunch of sociopaths. You are an incredibly strong person to get through all that with your head high...I envy that strength.
All I every needed to hear was don't worry I've got you 😢
Don't worry, I've got you. I'll be praying for you every day. Please don't neglect yourself and please try vitamins D and B1 and fish oil supplements and CBD oil. Try everything before you give up. You can do it! I'm rooting for you. You are not alone ❤❤❤
I don’t know you, but I got you, too. Know that there’s at least two of us out there praying for you. ❤
I just prayed for you again. You'll get through this. We've got your back. If you ever need to vent just message one of us. Sorry for everything you are going through.:-(
😭Thank you so much to everyone who reply to my message god bless 🙏 nice to know of the lovly people out there xx
@@deborahbull5968 God bless you too sweet one. Keep hanging in there 💛😇
this is why i don’t trust therapists that arent also neurodivergent in some way. neurotypicals will never truly understand you even if you have mild GAD, let alone a personality disorder, autism, or a dissociative disorder. this is fine in most casual relationships, but not doctor patient.
With all due respect, Scott, I never fully trusted advice from anyone in the medical field, let alone my therapist. I wish everyone could develop that skill. Your words are appreciated.
Well, yes, it is important to remember that the most critical part of mental health treatment is the internal work. At the end of the day, you have to work on yourself, with yourself. Teach a man to fish.
This is an underated thing.
I was made into a prescription addict because I listened to the doctor's advice as a teen. That woman neglected my severe side effect and refuse to offer anything more than med. I got toxicated twice and every psychiatrist just switched pills. Zero help on helping you to reduce the intake. Now I know the farmacal companies taught them to produce addicts. I tried on my own it didn't work dispite I'm a stong willed person who survived and solved lots of other impossibles.
Anyone on early stage, please don't trust anyone.Try to get help but just try.Don't grap them as a savior even though I know it's their fault to pray on the most vulnarable
IFS (Internal Family Systems Therapy),and DBT (dialectical behavior therapy ) are really excellent for borderline treatment. Hope for the hopeless! ❤
And autism, DBT helped manage meltdowns and emotions
The mental health system has failed so many of us. It is a struggle to get the right care. I’ve been fighting to find proper treatment for a myriad of disorders and many times theres been therapists who say i’m “too complex” for them. I’ve had to fight tooth and nail to be taken seriously, let alone receive proper treatment to help my mental health issues.
Yeah, but it's not really a problem of just mental health system. In every profession are people like this one therapist mentioned in video, that do wrong decisions. Doctors especially.
Do you smoke weed?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm autistic but in India nobody cares.
I was diagnosed 2 years ago with ADHD and autism. It made me start a journey of recovery from crippling depression. After 2 years I finally got an appointment with a psychiatrist with a view to him taking over the ADHD treatment plan that had already been put in place but I had moved house. Instead he told me (after a 1 hour session in which he took a case history but didn't ask me anything about my symptoms) he told me that he was not accepting my diagnoses (that involved around 12 hours of assessment over 6 sessions and where specific to diagnosis of particular conditions) and he would not be carrying out the treatment plan and would instead be referring me to psychotherapy 'in the hope that they will offer you an appointment' even though I have been having psychotherapy, that I pay for, weekly for the last 3 years. So now I am back to square one and can feel myself spiraling again
Even living a day at the bottom of the dark pit of despair is absolutely backbreaking
I had a similar situation with a "doctor" who gave up on me without truly being a part of my I guess rehabilitation. That was in 2016. I recently almost committed suicide, and during my leave of absence from work I did the rest of the deep, completely heartbreaking soul searching. These days, I'm renewed but apprehensive when another depressive episode wants to start up. I've always just waited it out. As someone who's been completely alone and on their death bed before (I have physical health issues), I still say life is worth living. Do I always feel that way? No. But we know better than our STUPID emotions 😂❤
There's a song by Coldplay from there parachutes album talks about life is worth living
@@perrycoffey5410What is the name of the song?
As someone WHO BELIEVES in assisted suicide, for terminal patients, I FULLY agree with you, when you say "The field I'm in has failed this person (mental health), because for a mental health professional to tell someone its never going to get better is beyond malpractice." I explained it that way because I didn't want to make it seem like I was casting a shadow on doctors in any spectrum in trying to describe.
Assisted suicide is literally just eugenics in disguise.
okay… but also, if someone is incapable of surviving by making money to afford food or shelter, then YES their condition is terminal because society has decided they are not worthy of having their base SURVIVAL needs met. and this all revolves around a manufactured monetary system that was created to enforce slavery & the working class.
unless the ROOT issue gets solved, then autistic people, like myself, are just slowly dying and wasting away.
people getting relief to leave is fair. especially if the world doesnt want to help them in any other way… which is doesnt.
Unfortunately assisted suicide is misused the majority of the time 😢
I have been in treatment for 14 years and have absolutely internalized the failures of the system. If I was 300 feet at the bottom of that canyon you described, it was like the professionals at the top were just staring at me, unsure of what to do. Or telling me "You can do it, it'll get better," but would not or could not meet me where I was at. My current therapist might be different but of course these days holding out hope for anyone or anything that might help is a risk I'm not entirely sure I should take. I think my message to anyone else struggling with hopelessness is that, to second Dr. Scott, nobody knows what the future will bring, and also, YOU are not your experiences, or the people in your life. You're not the good or the bad or the in-between. You are you. Those feelings of hopelessness and shame are related to past and present events and fears of the future but NOT you yourself.
That is absolutely the crux of it. We are not our experiences and learning to detach from painful memories is so so important to recovery
I really needed to hear this. I’m at a point in my life where I’m just standing still watching the world pass me by. I’m disabled, I’m legally blind, autistic I have lupus and hEDS and am a stage 4a uterine cancer survivor. My parents are in their 70s and are my care givers. I get $500 a month from disability which is not even close to what I need for my special diet for my illnesses, other necessities and bills. My parents are on a very limited strict budget having to help care for me. This month is particularly tight financially. I just keep thinking maybe they’d be better off if I weren’t weighing them down. I have such low self esteem that I can’t even begin to imagine what I could do to help out bringing more money in.
Hearing this though really made me feel some hope for the future that I’ll think of something to better our finances.
Appalling. I’m a psychotherapist, and I’m speechless. I’m seriously speechless. I’ve written a lot of words only to erase them, there’s nothing that can be said to cover the disrespect I feel towards this “psychiatrist” (my predictive text kept trying to use psychopath). Seeking help by choosing to enter therapy is a difficult endeavor. It’s a journey that challenges the mind, spirit and soul. Ugh, I can’t go on writing because you said it best. I pray she’s saved.
Lots of sadists and authoritarians in ANY profession in which clients or students are supplicants or can be subdued by legal force improperly exercised. PSYCHIATRY has ALWAYS been one if the worst of these havens for pathological adults to harm both children and adults, often wrecking their lives.
@@tslinger21 I’m not sure what you mean. Where’s your defensiveness coming from? Those are strong words, what are you implying?
@@tslinger21 There's breakthroughs happening right now as we speak in psychedelic therapy.
If ir does't matter anyways she should at least try that on her own. Who cares, it doesn't matter if it's illegal, if she's planned to die anyways.
Adopt a pet for a few weeks, or take care of a toddler or elementary school kid for a day (because kids are the embodiment of. hope and potential)
Move somewhere else where the system is not as cruel. At least travel to a warm country and leave work for a sabbatical for a month. Enjoy the sun. Fuck all that. She needs to experience a live outside of the sickening hamster wheel that is our western civilization.
THEN if she did all those things and they didn't even bring her a glimmer of hope, not even a tiny bit of hope for joy in her live, then she can say she tried everything.
@@tslinger21 I do not live in your country, I have however researched your Termination of Life Upon Request and Doctor Assisted Suicide laws for myself. You know my profession, now here’s the other part; I’m bipolar with depressive features. I suffer with psychosis, a part of my disease that is currently progressing. I’m eligible for services in Switzerland but I haven’t followed through. I’m not sure if you know her personally or if you’re simply using this venue to sling shit at Americans, but whatever your agenda is, it isn’t pure. So I need to be very clear with you, maybe it’s best that you be just a little kinder when you’re making assumptions about somebody you don’t know.
@@tslinger21You’re suggesting privileged knowledge of her case that’s
deeper than what’s being reported. Right?? You’re suggesting that I’m somehow missing something. Cut to the chase! As a psychotherapist, as it is with a medical doctor, first do no harm is absolute, and it’s what I practice.
My State has "death with dignity" for people diagnosed with certain terminal conditions, but not for mental health issues. Thanks for sharing your experiences and words of hope.
They don't even empower those dealing with mental illness to live with dignity...we should try that first ❤
@@EdnaBeLurking Vermont
@@tslinger21because mental health still isn’t taken as seriously as physical health.
@@tslinger21 Because terminally ill patients are actually in their right mind when they make their decision. This is coming from someone with Depression, GAD, ADHD, ODD and BPD before you come after me
tfw waking up and realising you didn’t die in your sleep.
Yeah...
And then your chest starts hurting
Feels bad bro 😑
huh?
Yep, some days I’m grateful some days I’m not.
I was taught by my psychiatrist in my postgraduate study of mental health (he didn’t even recognise me) and that’s when I noticed what a self absorbed and selfish individual he truly was. It was the white coat that made my broken mind at the time give so much weight to his words. He laughed at my mother sharing details of two suicide attempts and said that it was silly to try and kill yourself because modern doctors could revive you no matter what you do. He went on to add that it was just an attempt at attention and told my parents to talk about it less because it would give me ideas and that kids don’t have real depression. I was so shocked by his lack of concern and empathy for me that I just laughed it off. But the hurt and trauma of being failed by yet another adult who did not see clear signs of control and abuse eventually resulted in worsening of my condition to the point of no return.
I am exactly where this young woman is. I am 51. Loads of therapy and meds that helped a bit. Diagnosed with BPD in my early thirties. Depression, anxiety, mood disorders goes hand-in-hand with BPD. Six months ago diagnosed with ASD. So great. Now I’m Autistic as well (have been my whole life of course). I would check out right now if I didn’t have a partner and family that would be devastated if I did.
That’s great that you have those relationships. I think being grateful for those is what makes life worth living despite the rest.
That sounds like me too. I am so sorry that you wake up with pain every day.
Same. I keep myself alive for the sake of other people not myself. It’s hell.
Yes I can’t predict the future, but more likely than not it will be filled with far more suffering than it’s worth.
@@louellenb Thank you. I’m also sorry you feel this way too.
@@Anotherhumanexisting Yes it’s not something I would wish on anyone. Thanks for sharing.
Mario life vs Darksouls is exactly it! Another strong and reassuring video as always 💯
This is a nice young man but he doesn’t accept you can not always fix it. I have fought depression for 30 years (am 68 now). I do all I can - psychiatric practitioners for meds, good psychologists, re-reading my positive notes, exercise, and way more. I’ve talked myself out of ending it a 1000 times. Last summer my first bipolar “manic” episode, two weeks I have no memory of and 5 days in hospital. Came out with lesser issues now, but blissfully no depression at this time. And I finally forgave myself for being unable to “just get over it”. Best to all of you.
I hear ya 🖤
I've suffered from severe mental illness since I was 4 years old. It hasn't got better and I have accepted that it won't. I'm 25 now. I have just had to deal with it. Every time I have any sort of thoughts that are suicidal or related to self harm I have trained myself to immediately push them away. It does rub me the wrong way when people who work in Psychology try to claim that we can get better if we actually can't.
Try eating healthier food and work out, then read the bhagavad gita
@@coco-ongelzelaah yes, eating healthy food and working out, something they said they already tho. Nice
he refuses to give up on his patients and that's the attitude I want in a mental health professional.
My gp in the 90s was retiring and warned me about the up anc coming "unhelpful mental health professionals" actually he said " Do anything you can, find an alternative, dont ever lose hope." I didnt know what he was on about but now i know.
I get so frustrated when everybody insists that my problem will get better, it just takes time. Not everybody recovers, you can't guaruntee that it will get better. Just because some people come out the other end wanting to to live and being thankful to be alive, doesnt mean it'll get better for everyone. Some people succumb to this disease. Just as much as you cant say it will stay terrible forever there is nothing more you can do, you cant say it will definitley get better if you do all the things. I'd rather risk losing a future i might someday want, than risk more years of this sufferring. Im not saying that suicide is justified in every case-in the contrary most suicide is impulsive and suicidal ideation shortlived if frequently reoccurring- im just saying there are cases where people dont get better, no matter what they try rare though they may be. Just because those who would have continued to be sick chose to die, and arent here to demonstrate untreatable mental illness doesnt mean they dont exist. I dont remember a single day in the last 10 years where i would have chosen to be alive, and continue living. As time has passed ive only gotten more certain that I dont want to exist, and I've had plenty of treatment.
It takes an extraordinarily empathetic and caring person to be willing to take on the mental health challenges of other people. Thank you.
Well done, Dr. Scott. I never heard someone describe a dark night (or day) of the soul as accurately and honestly. Only people who have gone through it truly understand. I really like the part where you say everyone is upstairs having a party and you are downstairs with a light bulb. What a spot-on description.
I know it's usually our first reaction to take something like that personally, but it's also quite possible your therapist is feeling overwhelmed at wanting to really help you and not feeling capable of meeting your crucial needs at this time! I think a personal explanation would've been much better, but maybe they just don't feel confident in their own skills, and it has nothing to do with you as a person. ❤
@@KD-kp3zc Oh, wow. I know that law as a retired nurse, but I guess the parameters are different in his profession. Is he supposed to make sure you have found another therapist or what?
I had a therapist who would laugh when I expressed my insecurities. I have trouble trusting one right now to talk about my depression.
I had one that would nod out on Xanax during my sessions. My brother and Dad had just died. She was a patient of my p doc and I told him about it and he laughed. He was prescribing them to her. She admitted to it being Xanax and maybe she needed to “cut back” (it was like the heroine nod off) I told her off! I was livid! Told her she was going to kill someone if not herself.
my therapist made me worse
I finally got away and feel better
Listening to Dr Scott has been so helpful to me, I love his honestly and self disclosure, I can relate to his experiences and find hope for my mental health because of his videos.
Im 35 with Autism, BPD, PTSD, Depression, and severe anxiety. Been there many times....😢 poor girl.
Wow sidenote: Ive had 2 or 3 therapists tell me they couldn't treat me or werent qualified enough. Soon as I mention BPD they dont want to deal with me. Ive had zero help for the worst diagnosis I have. Been in patient suicidal at facilities 3x.
How do people get bdp?
Oh. My. Gosh. You nailed the description of how my life feels. Everyone is at a party and I'm in the basement in the dark with no way out.
I've been drug resistant for over 20 years. It is such a struggle just to get through the day. Add to that the struggle in finding someone in the psychiatric field who cares and life feels like it isn't worth living.
I'm sorry for anyone dealing with this disease. I've been in this battle for over 45 years. It's brutal.
It is awfully cruel to tell anyone they're beyond hope. To hear it is horrible. To believe it is even worse. A little compassion would go a long way.
People with BPD frequently lie about, or at least distort, 'negative' things that have been said to or done to them, in order to portray themselves as the 'victim'. . .with the intent that those who've upset them will face some kind of assault.
There's a good chance that the doctor(s) probably told her that UNLESS she changes--takes a conscious, proactive approach to finding her well-being--she is beyond hope.
I’m moving to the Netherlands. Psychiatry and medicine couldn’t give a flying fek about me just as long as I’m paying them. You are correct, things can change. They can get worse and they have continually gotten worse for me every year. I would LOVE to have this course of action open to me! Guess I’ll have to take things into my own hands.
might aswell move to a warm country. here in netherland its cold and rainy. i just want to move out of here
@@hopefuldawn3380 So strange, I am here in warm Mexico and I hate it.
My heart goes out to you. I would like the opportunity to move there and do this.
Dr. Scott, thank you for advocating for Humanity 🙏🏾 May blessings always follow you and yours ✨️✨️✨️
Watching this video, I cried for myself for the first time in 60 years. Thank you...... Thank you.
You're very welcome
Much love to you.
My psychiatrist in 2002 told me “I think it’s time you accept this is a good as it will get”. Then I tried to unalive myself. The Psychiatrist I got after that attempt was wonderful and helped me out a LOT
I felt very much like you. That a psychologist or psychiatrist wouldn’t put her in a DBT group or on Ketamine, psychedelics… There’s So much to try, and I don’t know How this got approved! 😳😳😳
Ketamine, Music, DBT, a Crapload of Willingness and moments of Awe help. I wear a bracelet that says, ‘Don’t Believe Everything You Think, Harriet’ for when SI is really high.
Thank you for….being You, for surviving, and for writing the book that’s next to my bed. 💕
About to start with a new therapist. I realized I should’ve asked her if she’s worked with people who are very depressed and have helped them out of it. It will be the first thing I ask when I see her tomorrow. I am not interested in sinking money into a well-meaning, yet unskilled therapist. Been there done that.
Well done …. Look at it this way, if they connect and don’t want to or choose not to answer relevant questions, you have saved the time that you would have spent enduring a therapist who isn’t a good or capable fit. Good luck
Yes! Awesome. Well meaning does not mean ANYTHING in the mental health field. Standards have to be held much much higher.
I have a few of the same diagnoses as she does.
The first example you gave - being under a pane of glass, everyone upstairs is at a party, and you're down where it's dark with a flickering light.
What comes with BPD often, is not only that we're sitting down there in the dark with the candle, but we have company. The bit of us that repeats over, and over, how little we're worth, what a burden we are and the solution is death. It encourages us to die, sitting there alone in the dark, and it's constantly blowing out that candle.
Being alone there with a candle, would be a blessing.
I agree, the field of mental health has utterly failed her. It continues to fail a lot of us.
Many therapists/psychologists/psychiatrists won't even see someone with BPD, much less know how to treat it.
And it's incredibly expensive. Which leaves it out of reach for, I'm guessing, a lot of us.
I hope this woman finds her peace, whatever that might look like for her.
I hope she can maybe find someone who understands, and who can hold her hand in that dark place. Maybe be a counter to the incessant part of us that wants to see us dead.
In the end, it's her life, and her choice, and I will not pass judgement. I understand the why.
Though I do hope she finds just one more reason to stay.
@@tslinger21 WHen I said, I hope she finds her peace, I meant I hope she finds her peace in passing.
I can imagine, the wait would be unsettling.
I’m so happy that she has people close that understand, and support her.
I suspect a lot of people are terrified by death, seeing it not as a release, but as some sort of betrayal of life.
Religion plays into that too, and the number of times I’ve read the misguided guilt tripping that goes on makes me angry.
It’s her body, her life, and in that autonomy, I believe she has the right to do with it as she sees fit.
Thank you for sharing that. It gave me some peace of my own tonight.
I studied psychology in college and gave up my career in psychology because I have bipolar disorder. Bipolar Disorder in America is extremely expensive to manage.
People giving up because they're not getting better shouldn't be flooded with begging that they stay and continue to suffer.
I'm in my 30's, I've had 2 attempts, I've been seeing specialists since I was 17, was diagnosed after college, and I've yet to get better. Life is too expensive for someone impoverished. I tried to get more from my education, but my brain can't keep up with anything academic anymore. I tried to keep to my jobs and work hard, now I'm unemployed, applying to jobs nearly every day, and remain jobless.
I do think about giving up everyday, and after so many years of suffering and not improving, it would piss me off to hear such a tone deaf take where hope is the only "reason" to not throw the towel.
If not for my dog and me being responsible for him, I would have already, knowing that not everyone gets the happy ending they deserved, no matter how hard they tried, and everyone in the field should acknowledge this before saying that things get better when in some cases it actually doesn't.
I am in my mid 60s and have never been happy. There was always something I had to deal with. Going by life expectancy, I have another 10 years to go. Will another 10 years make a difference? Do not worry. I do not have what it takes for what you are thinking of.
Might as well get out of your head, be happy and enjoy what’s left then 😊
Feels like a never-ending battle just to survive.
The sign behind you reminds me of my sister and my motto for when we were in the absolute depths of despair mental health wise. "Well, at least you are not on fire." We used to say this to each other every time something else f*cked up happened. We hated silver linings because they are always either terrible or shaming, so we made our own. Our own silver lining was that we weren't literally burning to death. Humor got dark for a while there.
THANK YOU for this!!! I was struggling in my therapist’s office, and half way through she stood up and said “well I won’t keep you and waste time.” Then she opened her door and dismissed me. Never have felt quite so hopeless. I was ready to give up. Thank you.
That’s legitimately malpractice, I’m so sorry
@DrScottEilers No kidding! Nurses can't walk away from a horrible shift without serious repercussions like losing their license. Why should these so-called professionals be able to??
I'm so jealous of her. At least she gets to go with dignity and PAINLESSLY.
I admire your work Dr Scott but there IS no hope for me who at 70, alone and after 20 years of mental illness i can't go any lower now. Unfortunately, you are talking to young people here who have "time ahead" and able to "work hard". For them there is hope and possible "turning points" still to discover. People who don't have years / long time frame AND are so physically worn out and weak they can't even care for selves enough.
If there waa truly compassion in the world, what this young woman is lucky to have, it should be available for those like me who do NOT have a choice, please let us end our 20 yrs of suffering and pain in a way it wont hurt. If i was a dog, the vet would have no hesitation to put me down to stop pain and suffering. Why is a dog treated better than old people like me?
I remember when I was 18:
I had been institutionalized about five or so times since I was 11 due to domestic violence issues at home. I didn't love any of my family. I got by with the kindness of a handful of friends and teachers.
I went to therapy one day feeling particularly not wanting to live anymore. My therapist said that, "No one is going to help you anymore because you're an adult now."
Funny thing is, I didn't really get much help as a kid either.
Didn't start to feel better until a few years ago. I'm 26 now.
It gets a little better, I guess.
Still trying.
I've had another tell me the same thing, that "if they couldn't help me no one could."
They were such a bitch.
Try being a multi head injury pt, and a live in care giver to 2 other disabled family members
There are a lot of times [in fact a vast majority of the time] when I go to sleep, I do not want to wake up any more for a lot of rreasons
but I do get up and do the same thing [take care of my family] all over again.
Nothing changes but the date on the calendar
no one needs to know my story, but this is exactly what I've been told: by relevant studies in books, by therapists, councillors, and psychiatrists. sure I can recover, but 'recover' means getting used to my pain, building up a tolerance for it. I don't have episodes, this has always been the landscape of my life. I know this sounds like, "but My case is special." maybe that's what I'm doing? my only ambition is to not walk into the river or onto the highway. some days/nights are more difficult than others.
IT'S OKAY TO GIVE UP
You shouldn't be force to live this cruel life in this crazy society
It's very easy and nice to say all this but it doesn't change the fact that people are struggling in hopeless situations. People can't afford therapy, and if they can, people don't have time for therapy and the world is getting crueler and lonelier. I don't blame her for wanting to go, I wish I could too.
A lot of mental health professionals failed me and I had to do a lot of work by myself. I am better and I have a good life now, but I deeply understand people who commit suicide
my psychiatrist told me that I will need to deal with depression and panic syndrome for the rest of my life. It's devastating to hear something like that! It's no wonder that bad thoughts come, as well as the desire to give up on life.
we need to know this do we can continue to get proper treatment ❤
I wonder if they would express the same sentiment to a spouse, a child, or a respected colleague if they felt that, they too, exhausted all resources in their opinion.
that's bullshit.
you may have some bad times that remind you of the way you feel now but it's absolutely bullshit that you will feel the same all your live. That person is too incompetent to help you. I am sure you can find someone better. If not do the eat pray love thing or something like that. It doesn't have to be typical therapy.
@@lisalasers Yup at least it sets expectations.
Good for her. I’m moving & signing up next.
We really need that her in the states.