Hi Craig i hope you're doing well, can you please make a video on how to attract someone better than your ex. It's been 3 months of no contact and now I can see the relationship wasn't all butterflies and roses. Just a waste of effort for 6 years
I've rejected my ex's attempts to come back but am still watching your videos. ❤ Thanks for helping me through one of the darkest periods of my life - now I am so much better version of myself. ❤
So my ex cheated on me, he dumped me because I ruined his relationship with his mistress. I have no urge to want him back. I'm disgusted with myself for wasting 4 years with him. I can't get that time back.
Same here. 8 attempts at last count. Yes, I count because I know better now, it was her loss. However, I'm grateful for Coach Craig and others. I have worked on me, and have sought council and have gained so much knowledge. I now focus on me and refuse to settle for less. My advice, from what I've learned, have self respect. You are the 'prize,' and not a punching bag. Be patient and the right one will show up when you quit seeking. I saw a short video from Kevin McConaughey and states the same. Never force any relationship. Let it go and let it come to you. Thanks Coach Craig! 🙌
The mother of my daughter came up with dumper remorse after five years. Around the time i was just ready to open up for real to my new girlfriend... A disturbance in the force
That's a trap. you've moved on keep it moving forward new things in the future don't let your ex sabotage your new relationship and future possibilities.
@@ceriousx regretful decision-making like when you buy something impulsively and it doesn't bring you the satisfaction you thought it would that's an example of dumpers remorse. feeling of self shame for a negative decision.
I started listening too you yrs ago, and your knowledge and advice, help me get through a difficult time in my life, I thank u for everything ,You said, no contact, how they will act, and when they try to come back all happened, 3yrs ago, even though that part of my life is over, and I moved on, now I watch because I love your show 😊😊
No contact is even worse if you are older as you begin to feel what if something happens to them ? What if I never get chance to speak to them again or see them. I’m trying to stay in no contact but I’m also terrified of them dying and I won’t have chance if I don’t reach on now. I know this is my anxiety but what do others think ? I was with my wife 10 years and I still love them as much as I ever have, when you are the dumpee that just doesn’t go away.
I think the reason my ex broke up was exactly for the reasons mentioned in this video. He also moved away which makes me sad to think that he will not change his mind and return. We are in no contact at the moment except for one very short text exchange
I don't know how old you are and if that's an actual risk or just irrational fear. The thing is you can't force the contact. You can tell them "no pressure but I want you to know I still love you" just to have it said and then be in no contact again. No contact really is for you, not them. To give you time to heal
It’s one year now for me, I have done a bucket load of work on my self and my life. It is obvious to all around me and they all comment. I have just started dating again and suddenly my ex is hovering nearby. No direct contact , but restarted watching my stories after six month and arranging to be near by when I pick up my truck, but pretending not to see. However, when I look up, she quickly looks away and walks off. It’s almost a pantomime. I just laugh. I am now quite cool about the whole thing but I also continue watching your show as you helped in a really bad time and I got addicted to your calm humour and sage advice. We all owe you a debt of gratitude.
I finally just built up the courage to block her on all my socials a few days ago. She wanted to break up and leave after being together for 3 years (living together for almost 2 years). She kept posting herself and friends getting drunk constantly and she’d reach out on Snapchat to keep me at arms length but it was hurting me emotionally. Hopefully now that she’s blocked and I’ve started no contact things will get better. It still hurts my soul because I truly thought we were gonna be together long term but she’d rather live a party life than to make things work with her “soulmate”. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through because I still love her with everything I have but I know I have to just push onwards 😔
It’s been two weeks since he dumped me and I can’t believe he did it. It was a shock. We had a trip planned this summer and everything. I haven’t contacted him since the break up. I just want him to reach out so badly.
@@CaseySaibo😢 so sad it happens to most of all good people who don't deserve to be cheated and get hurt. Ur story same was mine. I gave everything and spend all the money for him to start a new life ..but it's easy for him to talk and sleep with another woman..very bad 💔
@@KathyMargatines I just read my comment again and deleted it. I cringed reading it lol. It’s been 4 months and I am a new person now, I started traveling more, working harder and I’m not that nice like before. I still miss her or think of her from time to time but there’s more to life than love. I have an empire to build.
Thank you so much for all the love and advice you give us. You're wonderful people, you changed my life and thanks to you I learnt how to choose better partners. Thank you so much. Love and peace from France.
Us FAs are big on self-sabotage. Both my ex & I (both FA) were doing it. I felt he was out of my league a bit (actually he was what I was aiming for & when I actually got it I freaked out under the pressure I put myself under, for example starving myself to look thin for him) Maybe we both felt not enough for the other. So sad. 🥺😥💔
I don't presume to decide whether I'm "good enough" for the other person since that's way more dependent on what THEY want and are looking for than on me. I can only do the best I can and if they take it then I'm good enough for them. And also the other person might be a self sabotager who sets unachievable standards? That's not on me then either, no one is "good enough" for that. It's important to be able to live alone without being miserable, otherwise you're gonna attach desperately and get hurt.
I knew a person long ago. Day by day we grew closer, and life was good for both. In a half year we were in love full on. In one year we were full on together and loved each other. Then one day she disappeared for a day, no explanation. Then it happened a second time soon after. I was not happy with the day disappearance. She came to my house, ran up the street to find me at the corner store. She was in tears shaking when she came up to me. So, I calmed her down, and we were went back to my house happy together. The point I missed then was a, where had she disappeared to, and b who drove her across town to my place. In retrospect I should have focused on answers to those to questions. Soon after, a new guy shows up at her house, my second home more or less. I walk in and two guys are in her living room. She sits there doing here thing, not even telling me who they are. They just hang around for nothing, saying nothing. We then move a lady and here 3 your kids half way across the usa to her father's house. She does not call me for that until all is done and ready to leave. I arrive to find the stranger guy is almost done loading up the uhaul. She tells me to drive the lady and kids in my car, and she and her sister go in the u haul for 1000 miles. She calls me 5 minutes before we all leave, never asking me not explaining to me about loading the u haul all morning. In retrospect, I was the taxi driver for this lady and kids. We drive o on a state highway 70 mph, and a come to a curve, and the u haul at 70 keeps going straight verring off into a gravel loal road at full speed. I quickly veer off from behind and keep following the u haul as we were in a caravan of sorts. I start honking that they took the wrong road, and I dod this for almost three miles. In retrospect, the new guy was ditching me with my beginning to be former girlfriend. And when they finally stop for me after three miles of honking, my new former girlfriend sits in the u haul silent to it all. The next arriving at her fathers house, it ends to be she brings two person me and the new guy together on this move across country, and it all ends in a pile of shit. She tells me the new guy is finding his way back a few states on his own, while she drives back with me. A few days later I stop at her house to show her girlfriend around town. The girlfrien tells he she doesn't want to go with us. So, we drive around a few blocks, and down the street, and there she is my lover, walking across the street in front of us with her new lover, her around his waiste and his arm around her shoulders, bouncing across the intersection like two dogs in heat. A few days later I pick her up to the drive in for root beer. She says nothing to me all the way, we order, and she all of a sudden asks me if I love her. Startled, I thought for a minute, then answered, I don't know. Knowing it is all amiss. A year later, doing great no contact all this time, she calls out of the blue, asks me to attend her birthday party. I politely said I can attend, and we spend three times doing something together, just hanging out feeling ok. The third time feeling off of it all, I flat out ask her....why did you call me? She wiggled on that question for 10 minutes. Finally she told me the truth, her lover boy had dumped her and was secretly running around with a new toy. And she said told me she was going to get this piece of shit who ditched me on the highway back, and she called me to make him jealous. Then she broke down in tears, and cried to heaven for 15 minutes non-stop, sobbing. I just sat in there saying nothing. Then I said its time to go, and drove her home in silence. I never saw her again. Decades later my friend dug up pics of her on line. She did zero with her life, nothing after high school, and she turned into a fat pig. She had one pic of her in the pool with this loser sitting with a beer in his hand watching. In the end she was meant to be a loser with loser, two liars and two cheaters, and two morally bankrupt pieces of shit. I went on to get an advanced university degree, built up a professional practices firm, taught at the university, and raised a great family with a wife who supported me all the way. As for these two pieces of shit, that is who they were meant to be, to shit losers.
This gets me mad more than anything, it really pisses me off because if you had the courage to leave your significant other, you should have the courage to make a damn phone call or 3 second text saying “hi how are you?” If not then the dumper was always a coward, and will always be a coward.
@@CountOfMonteCristo_ Issue is when they dumped us (at least my experience with male dumpers) they were hot under the collar & upset, calling us they won't be & believe it or not like Craig says they are scared we will reject THEM. Nuts, I know.
If they're too afraid, then you reach out instead. Keep it friendly and casual though. Not every dumper has the courage to reach out even if they truly want you back, because of their fears. By reaching out to them instead, there may be a possibility for them to speak up. However, if you reach out first instead of the dumper, make sure that they initiate contact in between. So, if you finish texting one night and you say, "let's keep in touch", the next starting text has to be from the dumper, not you. If they can't initiate effort at all, then you're probably better off packing your bags and hopping on the next train forward.
Not gonna lie this video I caught myself smiling the whole time and staring at her hahah I fell in love and completely forgot the purpose of why I turned this video on. Hahahah wow Awesome video guys. You’re getting me through a very tough time and give me sense of relief and motivation to keep pushing through. Coach Craig Kenneth I’ve been watching you for a very long time from my first break up like 5-6 years ago. She’s so pretty I wish she was my girl. She looks so understanding and very well put together. I love it
I have a feeling it won't last, not just because it's the rebound phase, it is too soon to marry( thinking good, she wasn't dealing with both of you at the same time), 3 months damn it. Anyway, be good. If she really found what she missed in her life, happy for her.
My ex felt the relationship was stale after 2 years living together, she said shed been feeling this way for a month before she finally cheated on me with some guy from the bar who was only in town for 3 days. This was after i paid for her to come with me to Vietnam 2 months before, and got her a bungee jump for christmas. She confessed and was super guilty, but just said she was drunk and things just happened. Then i saw the messages and they hooked up 3 times and she was egging him on. She said it was just a distraction from her emotions about breaking up. She cheated the day before the breakup, and twice after, while still living with me. Idk how to feel, i kicked her out and will leave the country in 2 weeks for good to go back home.
Why would anyone ever want to get back together with their ex girlfriend if she’s been with someone else in the meantime? I don’t get it. As I see it, you’re able to repair the relationship until that happened. That is the dilemma with ‘no-contact’.
What if it was a situationship? I feel like I can’t really call them an ex. Will those who hurt you in those types of situations regret their decision?
I've gone NC for two months, but my ex keeps sending passive aggressive texts about mail that's gone to her apartment and admin stuff. Mostly pointless stuff. Nothing nice at all! 😔
its been almost two years after having a two and half year pocketed relationship and she moved on quickly with back to back relationships (3 months and 8-9 months consecutive) with the last being with a guy she celebrated and did things with in public she never did with me. I miss her as she was my first and best friend (im 36, shes 30) and we've had minimal contact since she lives 1.75 hours away, with only messages over stuff left at each others or common friend gatherings. She's wanted to invite me to several events as friends a few times but I declined unless there was more intention than just being friends. Shes been pretty cold since, with the last messages being about a piece of mail that erroneously went to her (our) old address. I found it odd if disturbing that she opened my mail even though we never went through each others mail when together. I treated her great though I wasn't perfect but with her coming from an Indian family her folks wouldn't approve of me (according to her) since i didn't meet their asinine financial requirements. Im trying to move forward but its been a real struggle and I feel my ex wont feel any loss as Ive been replaced time and time again as shes done with friends too when we moved to her current local even though I moved back to be around friends.
So I'm currently doing partial.. No Contact with my Wife we have a child together..She Left Me 3 months ago and moved in with her Affair Partner.. Last week when I picked up my Son she said she regrets the breakup but she's stuck in this new relationship.. I've mentioned a few times in the past about getting back together. But she has said she doesn't want to break up with her new Partner.. I feel like I'm getting different reactions sometimes from her.. I would like for her to take the actions and leave this relationship .. But I feel like She has to take action.. so I'm currently doing partial no contact and focusing on myself with Therapy & Going to the Gym And building up my confidence. And moving forward to try and not let her actions bring me down more..
Most of the time they come back because the other man fail or she doesnt find another sumise guy like you or because of her, almost never because they love you, just in a few little cases they still loving you but most of the time they are doing things for themselfs.
I was dumped after meeting his parents... we had a great relationship, we were togather 5 months we talked everyday and saw eachother very often. I felt he ran away because he was developing feelings that he wasn't ready for.. he dumped me a month ago promised to get back togater as he deals woth his things and i deal with mine... only to find out hes sleeping with someone else ( theres alot to it but cliffnotes) i wrote him a long text telling him i loved him but im not going to be on standby. Want his happiness but its crule what hes putting me through idk if we will get back together or if i need to move on i feel hes an avodint
So far, none of my exes come back with no contact. So yeah, no contact doesn't work. They obviously can't advocate hounding your ex because that's against the law lol
Depends on situation if u constantly fighting argue probably they won’t if everything was good in relationship minimum fights drama etc they probably will come back
Been watching these videos hoping I would hear from her but I think its a ploy to just work on yourself and no contact isnt for getting them back. Maybe I should let her go but I loved her.
you don't want them back trust me being disguarded you are not falling in love with the person your falling in love with the memories. story time i broke up with my ex in 2019 we quit talking for years. fast forward to 2021 was in a new relationship that wasnt going well. something told me to reach out i did we talked for months. thought things would work out went on until 2023 last time i seen her. tried to talk to her about things but we never did (avoident) which i didnt realize until after therapy. which i went to january 2024 yea the things i new now things would of been different but bocked. but atleast i learned going forward what i need to do i enjoy being single to much but still love your videos.
My avoidant ex girl said I still want you in my life and to talk to you. When I met up with her she said its like we are starting over so Im not sure if I should be trying to reconnect with her or no contact
I think women reach out less than men based on my personal research & experience however yes Coach has lots of email coachings featuring female dumpers. I can't speak to it myself as I'm a female who's always the dumpee. 🤷♀️
@@LonelyRider87 Thank you for the response and insight. I feel men always reach out, women stick by their decision. Probably expect the man to reach out. But men just reach a point where they give up, and in that process hoped for their woman to contact them. But I could be wrong about this dynamic.
@@adrij4961 I made a lot of breakup mistakes and stayed in contact with him five months post-BU. He said I'm the best partner he's ever had or could ever hope for. Well, if that's true, why did you give it all up and blindside me the way you did? If you felt so damned loved, like you always said you did, why did you throw that love away and spit in my face like it meant nothing? I know for a fact I was good for him. I did so much for him, helped him grow. He became creative over the course of our relationship. He quit drinking entirely, started writing poetry, making art, planning a novel; all things he'd never done before. It looked like what we had together brought out the very best in him. And now he's gone and drinking again. My only consolation is that I did everything as right as I possibly could during the relationship. And yet, it still wasn't enough to save us.
@@LonelyRider87 I know my worth. I know I did my damnedest for him. For us. And it wasn't enough. I also know he's not coming back. I feel it in my gut. It's for the best for me to give up any hopes of reconciliation and move forward, having learned what I have about human connections and relationships since then. I love him and I always will, but I can't hold on to hope during no contact any longer. It has to end now, for my own sake. I'll keep working on myself for my own sake, but I'm giving up on ever hearing from him again. I have to. I can't keep going unless I do.
@@Xxxxxrrr6464 Look, my point is that I made a lot of critical mistakes after the breakup, and by the time I got around to actually committing to no contact wholeheartedly, it was already too late. He may or may not miss me, but he's not going to reach out, nor is he coming back, and upon re-evaluating him critically, I'm not sure if I even WANT him back. He lied about finances and whereabouts in our time together, withheld his needs, and had a history with infidelity in his previous relationship. He also gaslighted me following the breakup.
Another great video Craig and Victoria. I havent seen my ex in two months ( together 3 years). He has reached out maybe 3 or 4 times to ask how i am / general chat. I always respond, but i never reach out. He never says anything about missing me or meeting up, so i guess i just continue no contact??? 🍀 Ps love the insight on self sabotage. Would love to see a full video on that topic x
Hello! i love your videos and im trying to follow the steps you provide, you made a reference to the person still helping with the bills... does no contact also consist of removing yourself from helping with that? or does that not need to be done? thank you!
It's been eight days of no contact now after we were messaging each other on and off. I don't know if she regrets anything. She's with someone else and it remains to be seen how long that's going to last. I still think about her from time to time. The last message I sent her would have came across to her as closure and final, but the truth is that I'm hoping she reaches out again.
@@ThomasP525 I am trying. It's not like I'm spamming her with messages. It's impossible to completely forget her 100%. She already broke up with him once and came back, then went back to him again. The actual breakup was over two months ago.
Is it possible self reflection and self analysis come at different stages of a break-up. With the dumpee initially going through it first sometimes even wearing the dumpers 50% contribution to the break-up and beating themselves up while the dumpers self reflection and self analysis come months later followed by nostalgia, regret and maybe separation anxiety ?
Even though I wish she would regret, unfortunately I don’t think she will. It’s been 7 months and she is very happy. Unfollowed me on instagram last week, so instead of getting closer, she is cutting ties.
Doesn’t mean she couldn’t change her mind! Focus on personal growth! Are you doing The Knowledge every day for 30 minutes? Cause if you’re not, you’ll regret it! Trust me!
I contacted him after 4 months (post breakup) to say goodbye as we are both going to different countries. He said he is now busy to see me but could have a month ago or so and will call me once he gets to the new country as he doesn’t have the emotional capacity (to be emotionally drained). I don’t think regrets it 😔 i will never reach out again.
@@CoachCraigKenneth it went better than I expected, I actually came out relieved and powerful, she even said she was impressed with how I have grown personally and professionally 👍🏼 And now, I don’t even know if I want her back if she makes a move 😂
You both always keep people hope and linking their emotion to wait their ex back however o never believe if meant to be person need to wait so long as love isn’t the mind game, is all about connection. If someone give you up more than 2 weeks, should we still torture ourselves to stand still and keep our feelings on positive way to wait them back???!
It seems like my wife we are separated been separated for over a month now I went off social media but it seems like every two weeks she text me about a code that’s coming to my phone for me to send to her well after 7 hours from hear from her I sent a song to her and she didn’t respond but wasn’t wanting her 2 did I mess up
Thank u it seems like I get past the 14 day mark she text me bout codes that will be sent to my phone and to send it to her cause she wants to pay on our card but I sent her a song 7 hours after she text me i sent her the code then 7 hours I sent the song
@@Xxxxxrrr6464 thank u so much I been doing so good because the last time I just sent her the code that was the 12th of may then she text me on the 13 asking bout her coworker wanted to know what dr I use I sent her a picture of the card and went no contact again then yesterday I broke down after she text me
@@crusader1777 that’s all I been doing then 7 hours later I messed up sending her a song didn’t get a response but didn’t want one really so back in no contact I just don’t get why I get almost 3 weeks in a she send me a message just for me to fwd her the code because she wants to pay on our card but all she has to do is add her number to it hell we are married
Hi Coaches, when you say no contact, do you also mean deleting the ex's number? especially if he has blocked me? Or should I stay cool and leave the number saved in my cell phone?
I broke up with my ex and realized it was a mistake. I texted him, apologized and said I want to work things out. He never responded. Now, do I go no contact and leave him alone ??
I have never been married enveloped into highly manipulated bad flesh if denied yrs yrs . Amazingly stuff can happen labeled sold whatever . People can confess wrong but keep doing . I was mislead. Hate victum pity no no. Ive endeared everything alone
Should I delete my pictures together with ex in social media? If I don’t delete it then she would feel like I’m waiting for her and she can get back whenever she wants ? What do you suggest ?
Coach Ken recently did a video on that. Make it work to your andvantage.. I work with my x and she's showing some signs of regret even though she's still with the guy she left me for
@Coach Craig Kenneth Will my ex grieve me/miss/regret if my last contact was after 4 months to say goodbye (as he is leaving the country) and avoided call/seeing each other?? But still implies he wants to keep in touch 🤔
Could you please help me and tell me what I must do when it’s been one year that I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend and everything is going really well thieved he doesn’t want commitment and marriage And now I have found out that he is cheating on me and have another girl talking to I haven’t even mentioned it but I do not know what it might be my next step Regarding the fact that he is not willing to get married should I just put everything behind and move on or should I talk about the other relationship with him . I really love him but just I want to get married and start my own family Thank you very much in advance Ps. I’m so afraid of breaking up with him as well I think that will bring for me lots of stress and depression And this boy is my coworker as well I see him almost everyday at work How can I cope with this It will be a painful situation 😭😭😭😭
@@CoachCraigKenneth Even dumpers? I've been in no contact with my anxious ex for a month, but I'm reading everywhere that the no contact does not work for them. Is it better to keep texting lightly?
@@CoachCraigKenneth This is advice from anxious dumpers according to their experiences. There are many forums on reddit about anxious attachment. Most anxious people say that as dumpers they got over the breakup pretty fast...
Forums. Yuck. They’re so toxic and filled with unhealthy people who are hurting or have serious mental health problems. I’d be very careful. I often see very vocal posters that I know are… unhealthy (and that’s putting it nice)
Well, that's all well and good but I'm sure there's a guy friend that will provide her with the "consolation" afterwards to get over it [insert old Chris Rock joke]. I've never seen any I've dated for any length of time come back or convey any such "regret" 🤣 I've internalized that in the past and reflected on whatever my actions were in pure rumination. Now, I just dgaf anymore to pursue or cultivate another relationship. I can't even get a date anyway 🤷 I tried again for a time. The crisis of boys and men is in mind on how this new paradigm has affected my own life. The only one exception that has come back is a tryst who is married and unfaithful...deters me more.
Hey ppl, how mutual splitting? My situation is on the lines: Me: I need more attention Him: I not hearing anything. Why you are mad at me? Me: Ok, I will solve my problems there. Him: why you dont ask for help? Me: I dont need help, I needed attention. Him : *Silence for 3 weeks, then quits* Me: ok... Him : move out Me: *close the doors, change keys and remove him from the social media, but didnt block him* Him * Block me everwhere*
So…. An ex, that I haven’t had contact with in 5 years…. And we broke up probably at least 15 years ago added me on social media 2 days ago
I’ll talk about it in a video
Apple bees?
Hi Craig i hope you're doing well, can you please make a video on how to attract someone better than your ex.
It's been 3 months of no contact and now I can see the relationship wasn't all butterflies and roses. Just a waste of effort for 6 years
Run Coach !
Run !!!
That Apple Bee's gotta mean stinger !
😆
@Coach Craig Kenneth , can't wait ❤
"Sometimes others are not ready to receive what you have to give."
I've rejected my ex's attempts to come back but am still watching your videos. ❤ Thanks for helping me through one of the darkest periods of my life - now I am so much better version of myself. ❤
you are the most important person in your life....and dont ever forget that.
So my ex cheated on me, he dumped me because I ruined his relationship with his mistress. I have no urge to want him back. I'm disgusted with myself for wasting 4 years with him. I can't get that time back.
Same here. 8 attempts at last count. Yes, I count because I know better now, it was her loss.
However, I'm grateful for Coach Craig and others. I have worked on me, and have sought council and have gained so much knowledge.
I now focus on me and refuse to settle for less.
My advice, from what I've learned, have self respect. You are the 'prize,' and not a punching bag. Be patient and the right one will show up when you quit seeking. I saw a short video from Kevin McConaughey and states the same. Never force any relationship. Let it go and let it come to you. Thanks Coach Craig! 🙌
Why TF would you need to watch videos when someone is trying to get back together? That’s nasty.
The mother of my daughter came up with dumper remorse after five years. Around the time i was just ready to open up for real to my new girlfriend... A disturbance in the force
That's a trap. you've moved on keep it moving forward new things in the future don't let your ex sabotage your new relationship and future possibilities.
Yep. I don't know how they know... they just feel it
Don’t fall for the dark side
What is dumpers remorse?
@@ceriousx regretful decision-making like when you buy something impulsively and it doesn't bring you the satisfaction you thought it would that's an example of dumpers remorse. feeling of self shame for a negative decision.
I started listening too you yrs ago, and your knowledge and advice, help me get through a difficult time in my life, I thank u for everything ,You said, no contact, how they will act, and when they try to come back all happened, 3yrs ago, even though that part of my life is over, and I moved on, now I watch because I love your show 😊😊
❤️
Having a difficult time. 3 months and my heart is so heavy. ❤🙏
these consolation videos are great. Certainly im sure she will never come back, but at least these videos are helping us to feel better
No contact is even worse if you are older as you begin to feel what if something happens to them ? What if I never get chance to speak to them again or see them. I’m trying to stay in no contact but I’m also terrified of them dying and I won’t have chance if I don’t reach on now. I know this is my anxiety but what do others think ? I was with my wife 10 years and I still love them as much as I ever have, when you are the dumpee that just doesn’t go away.
I think the reason my ex broke up was exactly for the reasons mentioned in this video. He also moved away which makes me sad to think that he will not change his mind and return.
We are in no contact at the moment except for one very short text exchange
I don't know how old you are and if that's an actual risk or just irrational fear. The thing is you can't force the contact. You can tell them "no pressure but I want you to know I still love you" just to have it said and then be in no contact again. No contact really is for you, not them. To give you time to heal
It’s one year now for me, I have done a bucket load of work on my self and my life. It is obvious to all around me and they all comment. I have just started dating again and suddenly my ex is hovering nearby. No direct contact , but restarted watching my stories after six month and arranging to be near by when I pick up my truck, but pretending not to see. However, when I look up, she quickly looks away and walks off. It’s almost a pantomime. I just laugh.
I am now quite cool about the whole thing but I also continue watching your show as you helped in a really bad time and I got addicted to your calm humour and sage advice. We all owe you a debt of gratitude.
I finally just built up the courage to block her on all my socials a few days ago. She wanted to break up and leave after being together for 3 years (living together for almost 2 years). She kept posting herself and friends getting drunk constantly and she’d reach out on Snapchat to keep me at arms length but it was hurting me emotionally. Hopefully now that she’s blocked and I’ve started no contact things will get better. It still hurts my soul because I truly thought we were gonna be together long term but she’d rather live a party life than to make things work with her “soulmate”. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through because I still love her with everything I have but I know I have to just push onwards 😔
@sinzai9652 how did it go after man??
Any update? This is my exact same experience dude
It’s been two weeks since he dumped me and I can’t believe he did it. It was a shock. We had a trip planned this summer and everything. I haven’t contacted him since the break up. I just want him to reach out so badly.
Narcissists suck. Period. I know what being with one was like. I'm so sorry.
@@CaseySaibo😢 so sad it happens to most of all good people who don't deserve to be cheated and get hurt. Ur story same was mine. I gave everything and spend all the money for him to start a new life ..but it's easy for him to talk and sleep with another woman..very bad 💔
@@KathyMargatines I just read my comment again and deleted it. I cringed reading it lol.
It’s been 4 months and I am a new person now, I started traveling more, working harder and I’m not that nice like before. I still miss her or think of her from time to time but there’s more to life than love. I have an empire to build.
any update on what happened?
Any update?
Thank you so much for all the love and advice you give us. You're wonderful people, you changed my life and thanks to you I learnt how to choose better partners. Thank you so much. Love and peace from France.
I was the client that they said still helps pay her bills 😅😅
Us FAs are big on self-sabotage. Both my ex & I (both FA) were doing it. I felt he was out of my league a bit (actually he was what I was aiming for & when I actually got it I freaked out under the pressure I put myself under, for example starving myself to look thin for him) Maybe we both felt not enough for the other. So sad. 🥺😥💔
@@Xxxxxrrr6464 what's an FA?
@@audra1976oliver fearful avoidant
@@audra1976oliverFearful Avoidant
@@audra1976olivera person with a fearful avoidant attachment style
I don't presume to decide whether I'm "good enough" for the other person since that's way more dependent on what THEY want and are looking for than on me. I can only do the best I can and if they take it then I'm good enough for them. And also the other person might be a self sabotager who sets unachievable standards? That's not on me then either, no one is "good enough" for that. It's important to be able to live alone without being miserable, otherwise you're gonna attach desperately and get hurt.
I knew a person long ago. Day by day we grew closer, and life was good for both. In a half year we were in love full on. In one year we were full on together and loved each other. Then one day she disappeared for a day, no explanation. Then it happened a second time soon after. I was not happy with the day disappearance. She came to my house, ran up the street to find me at the corner store. She was in tears shaking when she came up to me. So, I calmed her down, and we were went back to my house happy together. The point I missed then was a, where had she disappeared to, and b who drove her across town to my place. In retrospect I should have focused on answers to those to questions. Soon after, a new guy shows up at her house, my second home more or less. I walk in and two guys are in her living room. She sits there doing here thing, not even telling me who they are. They just hang around for nothing, saying nothing. We then move a lady and here 3 your kids half way across the usa to her father's house. She does not call me for that until all is done and ready to leave. I arrive to find the stranger guy is almost done loading up the uhaul. She tells me to drive the lady and kids in my car, and she and her sister go in the u haul for 1000 miles. She calls me 5 minutes before we all leave, never asking me not explaining to me about loading the u haul all morning. In retrospect, I was the taxi driver for this lady and kids. We drive o on a state highway 70 mph, and a come to a curve, and the u haul at 70 keeps going straight verring off into a gravel loal road at full speed. I quickly veer off from behind and keep following the u haul as we were in a caravan of sorts. I start honking that they took the wrong road, and I dod this for almost three miles. In retrospect, the new guy was ditching me with my beginning to be former girlfriend. And when they finally stop for me after three miles of honking, my new former girlfriend sits in the u haul silent to it all. The next arriving at her fathers house, it ends to be she brings two person me and the new guy together on this move across country, and it all ends in a pile of shit. She tells me the new guy is finding his way back a few states on his own, while she drives back with me. A few days later I stop at her house to show her girlfriend around town. The girlfrien tells he she doesn't want to go with us. So, we drive around a few blocks, and down the street, and there she is my lover, walking across the street in front of us with her new lover, her around his waiste and his arm around her shoulders, bouncing across the intersection like two dogs in heat.
A few days later I pick her up to the drive in for root beer. She says nothing to me all the way, we order, and she all of a sudden asks me if I love her. Startled, I thought for a minute, then answered, I don't know. Knowing it is all amiss. A year later, doing great no contact all this time, she calls out of the blue, asks me to attend her birthday party. I politely said I can attend, and we spend three times doing something together, just hanging out feeling ok. The third time feeling off of it all, I flat out ask her....why did you call me? She wiggled on that question for 10 minutes. Finally she told me the truth, her lover boy had dumped her and was secretly running around with a new toy. And she said told me she was going to get this piece of shit who ditched me on the highway back, and she called me to make him jealous. Then she broke down in tears, and cried to heaven for 15 minutes non-stop, sobbing. I just sat in there saying nothing. Then I said its time to go, and drove her home in silence. I never saw her again. Decades later my friend dug up pics of her on line. She did zero with her life, nothing after high school, and she turned into a fat pig. She had one pic of her in the pool with this loser sitting with a beer in his hand watching. In the end she was meant to be a loser with loser, two liars and two cheaters, and two morally bankrupt pieces of shit. I went on to get an advanced university degree, built up a professional practices firm, taught at the university, and raised a great family with a wife who supported me all the way. As for these two pieces of shit, that is who they were meant to be, to shit losers.
Good morning coaches!
What if the dumper regrets the breakup, but is to afraid to reach out because he thinks the dumpee has already moved on, or is angry at him?
It is still their move to make. If they really want to reach out/ come back, they do. If they don't, then 🤷♀️.
Yes, this. Especially FAs. "Fearful" it's right in our description...
This gets me mad more than anything, it really pisses me off because if you had the courage to leave your significant other, you should have the courage to make a damn phone call or 3 second text saying “hi how are you?” If not then the dumper was always a coward, and will always be a coward.
@@CountOfMonteCristo_ Issue is when they dumped us (at least my experience with male dumpers) they were hot under the collar & upset, calling us they won't be & believe it or not like Craig says they are scared we will reject THEM. Nuts, I know.
If they're too afraid, then you reach out instead. Keep it friendly and casual though. Not every dumper has the courage to reach out even if they truly want you back, because of their fears.
By reaching out to them instead, there may be a possibility for them to speak up. However, if you reach out first instead of the dumper, make sure that they initiate contact in between. So, if you finish texting one night and you say, "let's keep in touch", the next starting text has to be from the dumper, not you. If they can't initiate effort at all, then you're probably better off packing your bags and hopping on the next train forward.
Not gonna lie this video I caught myself smiling the whole time and staring at her hahah I fell in love and completely forgot the purpose of why I turned this video on. Hahahah wow
Awesome video guys. You’re getting me through a very tough time and give me sense of relief and motivation to keep pushing through. Coach Craig Kenneth I’ve been watching you for a very long time from my first break up like 5-6 years ago. She’s so pretty I wish she was my girl. She looks so understanding and very well put together. I love it
My ex is wearing a white dress today, she got engaged a week after our break-up three months ago.
Now that’s a total rebound! 😆
I have a feeling it won't last, not just because it's the rebound phase, it is too soon to marry( thinking good, she wasn't dealing with both of you at the same time), 3 months damn it. Anyway, be good. If she really found what she missed in her life, happy for her.
Sorry for your ex's loss enjoy the fact that that marriage won't last also know you dodged a bullet congratulations 🎉
@@Kristel.20.06 nah it won’t last
She probably was planning everything while shr was with u. Thats a person whos not worth waiting for
My ex felt the relationship was stale after 2 years living together, she said shed been feeling this way for a month before she finally cheated on me with some guy from the bar who was only in town for 3 days. This was after i paid for her to come with me to Vietnam 2 months before, and got her a bungee jump for christmas. She confessed and was super guilty, but just said she was drunk and things just happened. Then i saw the messages and they hooked up 3 times and she was egging him on. She said it was just a distraction from her emotions about breaking up. She cheated the day before the breakup, and twice after, while still living with me. Idk how to feel, i kicked her out and will leave the country in 2 weeks for good to go back home.
Hi Victoria. You too Coach Craig!
Great video, thanks ❤!
This was the video I needed. I loved the self-sabotage topic. ❤
I feel great ❤when I’m listening to your videos very comforting thank you so much
Why would anyone ever want to get back together with their ex girlfriend if she’s been with someone else in the meantime? I don’t get it. As I see it, you’re able to repair the relationship until that happened. That is the dilemma with ‘no-contact’.
if she dated someone i would be cool with it but if she had sex with them, than .....
Do you expect people not to move on ever? What in the world??
@@Wildanimal864. I am with someone else now and closed the chapter on my ex for good
What if it was a situationship? I feel like I can’t really call them an ex. Will those who hurt you in those types of situations regret their decision?
I’m glad to see you guys at the same time in your videos
😊
I've gone NC for two months, but my ex keeps sending passive aggressive texts about mail that's gone to her apartment and admin stuff. Mostly pointless stuff. Nothing nice at all! 😔
Coach Victoria with the jokes 😂 and realistic examples of self-sabotage
Great video...
He treated me horribly, I don't need him back
its been almost two years after having a two and half year pocketed relationship and she moved on quickly with back to back relationships (3 months and 8-9 months consecutive) with the last being with a guy she celebrated and did things with in public she never did with me. I miss her as she was my first and best friend (im 36, shes 30) and we've had minimal contact since she lives 1.75 hours away, with only messages over stuff left at each others or common friend gatherings. She's wanted to invite me to several events as friends a few times but I declined unless there was more intention than just being friends. Shes been pretty cold since, with the last messages being about a piece of mail that erroneously went to her (our) old address. I found it odd if disturbing that she opened my mail even though we never went through each others mail when together. I treated her great though I wasn't perfect but with her coming from an Indian family her folks wouldn't approve of me (according to her) since i didn't meet their asinine financial requirements. Im trying to move forward but its been a real struggle and I feel my ex wont feel any loss as Ive been replaced time and time again as shes done with friends too when we moved to her current local even though I moved back to be around friends.
So I'm currently doing partial.. No Contact with my Wife we have a child together..She Left Me 3 months ago and moved in with her Affair Partner.. Last week when I picked up my Son she said she regrets the breakup but she's stuck in this new relationship.. I've mentioned a few times in the past about getting back together. But she has said she doesn't want to break up with her new Partner.. I feel like I'm getting different reactions sometimes from her.. I would like for her to take the actions and leave this relationship .. But I feel like She has to take action.. so I'm currently doing partial no contact and focusing on myself with Therapy & Going to the Gym
And building up my confidence.
And moving forward to try and not let her actions bring me down more..
How did it all work out man?
Thank you so much dear.....my vision is now better......God bless
What at fantastic video!!! Thank you Craig and Victoria!!
Most of the time they come back because the other man fail or she doesnt find another sumise guy like you or because of her, almost never because they love you, just in a few little cases they still loving you but most of the time they are doing things for themselfs.
I was dumped after meeting his parents... we had a great relationship, we were togather 5 months we talked everyday and saw eachother very often. I felt he ran away because he was developing feelings that he wasn't ready for.. he dumped me a month ago promised to get back togater as he deals woth his things and i deal with mine... only to find out hes sleeping with someone else ( theres alot to it but cliffnotes) i wrote him a long text telling him i loved him but im not going to be on standby. Want his happiness but its crule what hes putting me through idk if we will get back together or if i need to move on i feel hes an avodint
So far, none of my exes come back with no contact. So yeah, no contact doesn't work. They obviously can't advocate hounding your ex because that's against the law lol
Depends on situation if u constantly fighting argue probably they won’t if everything was good in relationship minimum fights drama etc they probably will come back
Been watching these videos hoping I would hear from her but I think its a ploy to just work on yourself and no contact isnt for getting them back. Maybe I should let her go but I loved her.
you don't want them back trust me being disguarded you are not falling in love with the person your falling in love with the memories. story time i broke up with my ex in 2019 we quit talking for years. fast forward to 2021 was in a new relationship that wasnt going well. something told me to reach out i did we talked for months. thought things would work out went on until 2023 last time i seen her. tried to talk to her about things but we never did (avoident) which i didnt realize until after therapy. which i went to january 2024 yea the things i new now things would of been different but bocked. but atleast i learned going forward what i need to do i enjoy being single to much but still love your videos.
My avoidant ex girl said I still want you in my life and to talk to you. When I met up with her she said its like we are starting over so Im not sure if I should be trying to reconnect with her or no contact
Continue no contact bro. I’m in the same boat
Does this just work on men or women also? Do female exes ever reach out?
I think women reach out less than men based on my personal research & experience however yes Coach has lots of email coachings featuring female dumpers. I can't speak to it myself as I'm a female who's always the dumpee. 🤷♀️
@@LonelyRider87 Thank you for the response and insight. I feel men always reach out, women stick by their decision. Probably expect the man to reach out. But men just reach a point where they give up, and in that process hoped for their woman to contact them. But I could be wrong about this dynamic.
But my ex is a narcissist who likes to show up once in two weeks with her breadcrumbs.
Avoid that like the plague. Experienced a narc relationship with one. Don't contact or even reply when they contact you.
Thank helps ❤
Not my ex. He couldn't care less if he tried.
It's fully over.
@@adrij4961 I made a lot of breakup mistakes and stayed in contact with him five months post-BU.
He said I'm the best partner he's ever had or could ever hope for. Well, if that's true, why did you give it all up and blindside me the way you did? If you felt so damned loved, like you always said you did, why did you throw that love away and spit in my face like it meant nothing?
I know for a fact I was good for him. I did so much for him, helped him grow. He became creative over the course of our relationship. He quit drinking entirely, started writing poetry, making art, planning a novel; all things he'd never done before. It looked like what we had together brought out the very best in him. And now he's gone and drinking again.
My only consolation is that I did everything as right as I possibly could during the relationship. And yet, it still wasn't enough to save us.
@IndieHouse I know it's hard but that speaks to his issues he needs to work on, NOT your worth.
@@LonelyRider87 I know my worth. I know I did my damnedest for him. For us. And it wasn't enough.
I also know he's not coming back. I feel it in my gut. It's for the best for me to give up any hopes of reconciliation and move forward, having learned what I have about human connections and relationships since then.
I love him and I always will, but I can't hold on to hope during no contact any longer. It has to end now, for my own sake.
I'll keep working on myself for my own sake, but I'm giving up on ever hearing from him again. I have to. I can't keep going unless I do.
@IndieHouse My point was it's not about you, it's his issues. You do what's best for you we have to put ourselves first.
@@Xxxxxrrr6464 Look, my point is that I made a lot of critical mistakes after the breakup, and by the time I got around to actually committing to no contact wholeheartedly, it was already too late.
He may or may not miss me, but he's not going to reach out, nor is he coming back, and upon re-evaluating him critically, I'm not sure if I even WANT him back.
He lied about finances and whereabouts in our time together, withheld his needs, and had a history with infidelity in his previous relationship. He also gaslighted me following the breakup.
Another great video Craig and Victoria. I havent seen my ex in two months ( together 3 years). He has reached out maybe 3 or 4 times to ask how i am / general chat. I always respond, but i never reach out. He never says anything about missing me or meeting up, so i guess i just continue no contact??? 🍀
Ps love the insight on self sabotage. Would love to see a full video on that topic x
@@Xxxxxrrr6464 aww thanks for saying that, cos I've been a crying mess the last two months. I really hope so. 🤗
Just starting the 5th month here. Nothing.
@@lorip4087 it sucks 😞
@@Lanes8930 It really does. Dumped via text with no real explanation.
@@lorip4087 same. Happened through text. Trying so hard to stay positive but nothing makes me smile anymore 😞 were you together long?
Hello! i love your videos and im trying to follow the steps you provide, you made a reference to the person still helping with the bills... does no contact also consist of removing yourself from helping with that? or does that not need to be done? thank you!
It's been eight days of no contact now after we were messaging each other on and off. I don't know if she regrets anything. She's with someone else and it remains to be seen how long that's going to last. I still think about her from time to time. The last message I sent her would have came across to her as closure and final, but the truth is that I'm hoping she reaches out again.
Dude if she’s with someone else, have some self-respect and move on.
@@ThomasP525 I am trying. It's not like I'm spamming her with messages. It's impossible to completely forget her 100%. She already broke up with him once and came back, then went back to him again. The actual breakup was over two months ago.
Is it possible self reflection and self analysis come at different stages of a break-up. With the dumpee initially going through it first sometimes even wearing the dumpers 50% contribution to the break-up and beating themselves up while the dumpers self reflection and self analysis come months later followed by nostalgia, regret and maybe separation anxiety ?
Even though I wish she would regret, unfortunately I don’t think she will. It’s been 7 months and she is very happy. Unfollowed me on instagram last week, so instead of getting closer, she is cutting ties.
Doesn’t mean she couldn’t change her mind! Focus on personal growth! Are you doing The Knowledge every day for 30 minutes? Cause if you’re not, you’ll regret it! Trust me!
@@CoachCraigKenneth can you please tell what you mean by doing knowledge?
I contacted him after 4 months (post breakup) to say goodbye as we are both going to different countries. He said he is now busy to see me but could have a month ago or so and will call me once he gets to the new country as he doesn’t have the emotional capacity (to be emotionally drained). I don’t think regrets it 😔 i will never reach out again.
Do avoidant attachments regret losing their ex?
Lol of course. I have tons of videos on avoidants
Timely, I’m going to meet my ex today for an exchange of books etc. 😂
Review your workbook answers! It will make a huge difference!!
@@CoachCraigKenneth it went better than I expected, I actually came out relieved and powerful, she even said she was impressed with how I have grown personally and professionally 👍🏼
And now, I don’t even know if I want her back if she makes a move 😂
You both always keep people hope and linking their emotion to wait their ex back however o never believe if meant to be person need to wait so long as love isn’t the mind game, is all about connection. If someone give you up more than 2 weeks, should we still torture ourselves to stand still and keep our feelings on positive way to wait them back???!
It seems like my wife we are separated been separated for over a month now I went off social media but it seems like every two weeks she text me about a code that’s coming to my phone for me to send to her well after 7 hours from hear from her I sent a song to her and she didn’t respond but wasn’t wanting her 2 did I mess up
Stop responding you're way too available.
Thank u it seems like I get past the 14 day mark she text me bout codes that will be sent to my phone and to send it to her cause she wants to pay on our card but I sent her a song 7 hours after she text me i sent her the code then 7 hours I sent the song
@@Xxxxxrrr6464 thank u so much I been doing so good because the last time I just sent her the code that was the 12th of may then she text me on the 13 asking bout her coworker wanted to know what dr I use I sent her a picture of the card and went no contact again then yesterday I broke down after she text me
Don't go out of your way to contact her. Just respond civilly when she contacts you. Don't talk first, just respond.
@@crusader1777 that’s all I been doing then 7 hours later I messed up sending her a song didn’t get a response but didn’t want one really so back in no contact I just don’t get why I get almost 3 weeks in a she send me a message just for me to fwd her the code because she wants to pay on our card but all she has to do is add her number to it hell we are married
It's been three years I do not think so.
Do you also help with moving on... and working on ourselves for the following person we will meet?
Hey Coach Craig, was wondering if you could make a video on “She Dumped Me, Twice.”
We have videos on multiple breakups!
Hi Coaches, when you say no contact, do you also mean deleting the ex's number? especially if he has blocked me? Or should I stay cool and leave the number saved in my cell phone?
I broke up with my ex and realized it was a mistake. I texted him, apologized and said I want to work things out. He never responded. Now, do I go no contact and leave him alone ??
Reach out two more times
Craing , you said your ex regret .what about if she is narcissist?
That you want to chuck in the bin and move on. You'll never fix someone with mental issues.
I have never been married enveloped into highly manipulated bad flesh if denied yrs yrs . Amazingly stuff can happen labeled sold whatever . People can confess wrong but keep doing . I was mislead. Hate victum pity no no. Ive endeared everything alone
How much experience do you and your coaches have with an avoidant partner who is going thru trauma therapy?
Should I delete my pictures together with ex in social media? If I don’t delete it then she would feel like I’m waiting for her and she can get back whenever she wants ? What do you suggest ?
What if I work with an ex? How would I do no contact?
Coach Ken recently did a video on that. Make it work to your andvantage.. I work with my x and she's showing some signs of regret even though she's still with the guy she left me for
@@andrim9931 will check it asap as I work with her tomorrow! Do you know what it's called?
YOU RULLLLLE CRAIG!!!!! :)
@Coach Craig Kenneth Will my ex grieve me/miss/regret if my last contact was after 4 months to say goodbye (as he is leaving the country) and avoided call/seeing each other?? But still implies he wants to keep in touch 🤔
Could you please help me and tell me what I must do when it’s been one year that I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend and everything is going really well
thieved he doesn’t want commitment and marriage
And now I have found out that he is cheating on me and have another girl talking to
I haven’t even mentioned it but I do not know what it might be my next step
Regarding the fact that he is not willing to get married should I just put everything behind and move on or should I talk about the other relationship with him .
I really love him but just I want to get married and start my own family
Thank you very much in advance
Ps. I’m so afraid of breaking up with him as well I think that will bring for me lots of stress and depression
And this boy is my coworker as well
I see him almost everyday at work
How can I cope with this
It will be a painful situation 😭😭😭😭
They what lol ⁉️🤔😲
Do anxiously attachers really regret the breakup? :/
Of course 🤣
@@CoachCraigKenneth Even dumpers? I've been in no contact with my anxious ex for a month, but I'm reading everywhere that the no contact does not work for them. Is it better to keep texting lightly?
Well there’s tons of terrible advice out there about breakups. Ask them what they have their education in 🤣
@@CoachCraigKenneth This is advice from anxious dumpers according to their experiences. There are many forums on reddit about anxious attachment. Most anxious people say that as dumpers they got over the breakup pretty fast...
Forums. Yuck. They’re so toxic and filled with unhealthy people who are hurting or have serious mental health problems. I’d be very careful. I often see very vocal posters that I know are… unhealthy (and that’s putting it nice)
You don't want her back. Trust me.
Well, that's all well and good but I'm sure there's a guy friend that will provide her with the "consolation" afterwards to get over it [insert old Chris Rock joke]. I've never seen any I've dated for any length of time come back or convey any such "regret" 🤣 I've internalized that in the past and reflected on whatever my actions were in pure rumination. Now, I just dgaf anymore to pursue or cultivate another relationship. I can't even get a date anyway 🤷 I tried again for a time. The crisis of boys and men is in mind on how this new paradigm has affected my own life. The only one exception that has come back is a tryst who is married and unfaithful...deters me more.
Hey ppl, how mutual splitting?
My situation is on the lines:
Me: I need more attention
Him: I not hearing anything. Why you are mad at me?
Me: Ok, I will solve my problems there.
Him: why you dont ask for help?
Me: I dont need help, I needed attention.
Him : *Silence for 3 weeks, then quits*
Me: ok...
Him : move out
Me: *close the doors, change keys and remove him from the social media, but didnt block him*
Him * Block me everwhere*
SPONGEBOB IS THE GOAT!
What if my ex started following love and relationship coach on IG??