You Are Not Replaceable And Your Ex Will Find Out
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- Опубліковано 8 лип 2024
- You are not replaceable and your ex will find out the hard way. We are all special unique people, and we often have a huge lifetime imprint on someone we get attached to. In this video, Craig and Victoria discuss some of the ways your ex will realize they can't just rebound to someone new and not feel the loss of the breakup.
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I replace people all the time. No one has value. All life is worthless.
What impact? When they chose to leave?
I AM IRREPLACEABLE
Male 38 here, married since 14, together since 09. Thought we were the best, everyone else thought so. Depression and anxiety on my end, acknowledged and worked on continuously. Rash and impulsive on her end. Left me 5 years ago to have a relationship with our coworker/friend, I didn’t know about it till about 3 months later when she confessed and told me that she didn’t think we were strong enough yet for her to tell me. She had her claws in me by that point. Fast forward 5 years and she left me again. Still thought we were great just going through a lull. Dumped me in Jan. Last time I thought it was going to kill me one way or another. This time I’ve found help in videos like this. Them and the dogs got me through some dark days. Keep NC going because either way it will help you. The differences from last time and how I feel are insane. Thanks Craig and Victoria and all the other help out there.
Sounds possibly like a mid life crisis on her part. You do you. So sorry to hear you’ve been hurt. Go no contact and live your best life. Honestly am wishing you the best. God bless
I thought that too. I’m thriving right now from all outward appearances. Inside it’s a second by second fight but it has got a ton easier over the days. Feel lonely but can and willing to go out.
@@sloanmagnum5009 first off from personal experience around the same age. Secondly I don’t but she’s not here seeking help and trying to better herself is she? Being supportive while another person works on themself is what another human being with empathy typically does. Don’t see an issue with that but you do you
@@motto4137 that’s great to hear
Sorry you had to go through that pain. Hopefully you’re working on gaining the attention into you and on your way to building that relationship with yourself again.
I think the most important thing is to not feel like a victim. That’s the same as saying, “You ruined my life”. No one has that much power over you that they can take away the core of who you are. You signed up to protect and serve the other person. It didn’t turn out to be all that mutual. You didn’t live up to each others expectations. Somebody took much more than they gave. The blame game serves no purpose.
Ty so much. A few years back this channel helped me to focus on myself after my partner left me for another woman. The grass wasn’t greener. Wouldn’t have believed it at the time but now our relationship is stronger than ever and a big part of it is I learned to love and speak up for myself.
How long did his rebound last? Was you in no contact or did you still interaction
That's alot of pain to deal with ,ouch take care
I love that! Glad you two ended up back together, it was meant to be!
@@remyd1984 about 5 or 6 months. I kept trying to talk to him at first(about two weeks)then cut off all contact from my end soon after he would find reasons to contact me. Was really hard but once he realized I was taking care of myself and not falling apart without him(even though I was sad I was growing while learning to love myself) he begged me to take him back. It was while I was moving things out of the house we shared.
@@juliascorey999 it was rough but honestly our relationship is stronger now. Been about 5 years now and doing well.
My recent ex told me she got burnt out and overwhelmed and needed to do things alone for awhile. She said I was an amazing partner and nothing about the breakup was my fault. Almost hurts more than being cheated on.
Any result after no contact, i have the same situation on my side. Did she contact you ?
@@huguesdoz9244 we kinda started talking again, slept together a couple times, but she doubled down and started sleeping with another guy a couple days later. Decided to just let her go and start therapy.
Any updates?
My ex tried to tell me that at first, and things were going great so it was unexpected after 9 months. I told her it felt more like she wanted to just test the water with someone else and do a separation instead of breaking up. We did break up a week later and sure enough she was already on dating sites.
Can't speak for everyone but it seems like you'd only leave a good relationship if you have something already in place.
My ex took space 10 days ago and denied being on dating sites when asked. He said he was under stress and needed to process. Since he has continued to contact his ex GF during our 2 years, this time I started dating another man 6 days ago (who I met on one of the prior occasions BF broke it off with me. He always comes back, but this is a heck of a way to be in a relationship. I've never left him. I would happily stay with him but he keeps sabotaging it. I wish you well in your journey and find the happiness you seek.
I watch your videos all the time and I always feel better because of it. RIP Coach Margaret. You're still in our hearts. 🙏❤️
I miss coach Margret so much still….
I didn’t know Margaret died, she was brilliant. So sad 😞
Really missing my ex today, feeling lost and sad. Grieving who I hoped he would be. Staying strong in no contact. Despite him getting in touch… it wasn’t the right time to talk.
You’re doing great even when you think you’re not. The guilt of not talking to someone we love hurts but keep choosing yourself xx
I really felt like I was easily placeable. With the help of the creative healing course and the workbooks I think I found out where it comes from. My twin sister was sick alot as a baby and during the first years of our lives and she needed to stay with a parent at the hospital many times. I actually remembered one time when my mom was with my sister at the hospital, and my dad could barely comfort me. Perhaps at that time I had a deeper bond with my mom. If some of my issues stem from this I actually feel sorry for my parents. They did their best in a tough situation.
Keep up the good work!
Yeah my ex has reached out, did lot’s of effort to see me. He wants to see me again but I don’t know if I want to. I haven’t suffered for nothing, no?
It’s beeen 1.5 years. Exes come back, but when it’s too late.
I’m glad you moved on.
I’m struggling rn can you guide me how can I focus on my healing journey Like where to start? What to do?
@@Naksu_99 Hi I hope you are doing okay.
Here are some things I did:
- not reaching out, you are making a habit of not having him in your life.
- Find other sources of dopamine that doesn't include him (make new friends, create a new life of abundance)
- Go to the gym (more dopamine + helps you work on a goal + good distraction + transforms your sadness into something physical)
- if he is your 'only' source of happiness you NEED to make MANY new friends, a new and better support system that won't break up with you.
- Don't say NO to going out, always say YES. Try to be more spontaneous, it will help you to not be fixed in the 'I planned a whole future with my ex and now I don't know what will happen next'. I think that by doing more spontaneous things you'll realise all the different option in life, that you can do ANYTING and ANYTHING can happen (happy or sad)
- Journal, try to get to know yourself, learn about attachment issues and your inners wounds
- try to understand what triggers you, what makes you anxious/ sad etc. That'll help you make better choice of choosing people. You'll create a better environment for yourself with people that are less likely to hurt you
- Ask yourself: What are the qualities that I really like in him? Do I have them within me or was he filling gaps in me to make me feel 'whole'. If so work on them so you don't NEED him. Exes can teach you what you lack within yourself. Was he ambitious and you liked that about him? Are you that aswell? Did he have a fulfilling life but you didn't? Then you know what to work on.
- Embrace yourself, love yourself! Don't forget who the hell you are! You are strong and beautiful. You can do so much. The breakup was maybe the last push to turn your life around and become the best version of yourself.
- Also don't go dating... first be over him and then date! Otherwise you'll always compare with him and think that he's irreplaceable blah blah which is NOT true! Always be happy on your own before starting to date!
That's how I got over him and I am in such a better place now. I am really happy, on my own! and it feels really empowering. I started from a place of panic attacks, depressed, no friends and nothing going on in my life. And everything turned around by doing all that!
Hope it helps!! You got this xx
I learn so much from your content. Thank you ❤️ I wish you would talk a bit more about the downsides of taking someone back who broke up and may be dating already. Even though I know most of us are here hoping to reconcile with our ex, I want to make sure we’re not overlooking any major red flags by taking someone back who isn’t going to respect us in the future. I can’t shake the feeling that we’ll become an option that they feel that can just discard when they feel like it.
This is really funny and light topic. Thank you craig and victoria
You two have such great chemistry i love it
I just wanted to express a deep level of gratitude towards all coaches on this channel. I never heard from the ex again after pulling a grand gesture in 2021...I finally got over it in 2023 and I'm doing 1000 pushups a day. Since the breakbup I've met even hotter women with higher values...I'm still learning. I'm a single dad who has survived infidelity trauma with heart wrenching break up that led me to find this channel. Truly life changing ,even if I never signed up for your programs. Thanks, for all the videos, it got me through some tough times. Sending you love and gratitude.
from Santa Barbara California
-Erick
Your videos have been helping me so much! And coach Victoria is so pretty,
This one was special thank you i needed this today
I’m a new subscriber to your channel and luv all your videos! 💕 There’s so much information to ponder on and apply. Most importantly, the light heartiness.
I am grateful for your channel...
Can you please do a video about impulsive break ups out of anger
Yes please! Going through that right now as well.. and it's a totally different scenario as attraction wasn't lost per se.. trust was broken. Would love a vid on this! Thanks coaches!!
Yes a video where the person breaks up after being caught lying and being deceitful. Felt like he thought it was easier to just call it off in the moment, instead of fight for it. Earlier that day he told me he loved me so it felt like he just disassociated when overwhelmed.
Do you mean where they rage at you on the phone, hang up on you….you try to call back and they block your number but still stay on your social media.
In my case he's emotionally immature hasn't healed from his childhood traumas, has insecurity issues and has a very difficult time taking responsibility and holding himself accountable. However when he is not upset or angry he is AMAZING. What a shame. This has happened 3 times now we have been together on and off for almost 4 years
Thanks for this one Craig. (Btw: short neck = lower centre of gravity and stability in the wind!!)
My favorite coach
Thank you so very much Craig and Victoria 👌✌️❤️🌹🌈I like so much the another lady was last time with you two 👍🌹
Hey coach this video hit home pretty good, my ex found her new bf, my replacement in just a few weeks, I think she had him there before she left me but fours years down the drain and she found my replacement in weeks and it hurts but this video did explain a lot to me right now
Thank you
same here.
This channel is CRIMINALLY underrated! Like & share (somewhere...ANYwhere)!!! You don't get content like this anywhere else. And, no, I'm not affiliated with Craig & Co. in any fashion whatsoever, other than being a 4-time Skype client of Craig & Margaret. Possibly the best mental health value per buck you'll ever spend anywhere in your life. 😊
Wow, amazing.. great video..
I have to say… Coach Victoria has really come into her own on your channel.
I always liked her, right from the beginning, but for quite a while, she was somewhat overshadowed by you and Margarett… But I haven’t been on here for a while, and in this video, it’s the first time I’m seeing the shift that has taken place. It’s a really nice progression for her.
It’s really cute to see you guys interact now… It’s very flirty and fun and amusing… And you guys are really growing into your professional partnership. Nice to see!
Kudos to Victoria and for you for nurturing her!
I finally cut off a month ago and the grieving process started finally then even though we were texting
I feel like this grief is never going to end and like I’m nothing to him
I'd date you. Get out there!
I’d simp for Coach Victoria.
Argued with her today it’s been about seven months and she still blames me for the break up and it’s still upset and as she was angry, told me that she was not interested anymore, but then continue to tell me that I don’t understand her feelings or her emotions or what’s going on in her head And I just want her and my daughter back. I learned from my mistake I did not cheat what I was doing was abusing my medication and she told me to stop multiple times and I did not. I had an addiction and I tried, and she left me and then I went to rehab and got my act together, but still throws that in my face saying she will never trust me again with that, I don’t wanna lose my family. I live alone and miss her and my daughter every day I cry a lot even right now typing this because we were so great and have been married since September 25, 2021. It hurts when she said that she’s not interested anymore, but maybe she’s just angry.
You made me laugh. Thanks so much
Being adopted and knowing my bio mom kept both of my other siblings definitely makes it hard when someone decides to not speak to me any longer without a good reason. Even worse when you tell them early on that this is a trigger and to please give me the respect to discuss issues with me rather than cowardly ghost or send a break up text. It’s something I have to work on, but in the moment it’s devastating on all levels. You feel worthless and unlovable. Healing is hard. Self awareness and videos like these plus therapy helps. Hoping to find my life partner that’ll be sensitive to my triggers and not be afraid of difficult conversations or moments within relationships. At the end of the day, we all want someone that loves us enough to work and fight to keep partnerships healthy and happy
7 months no contact and I ran into her yesterday. She was callus and said she had a boyfriend. I expected it, but it still hurts knowing she’s moved on.
Just wanted to share an older ex I had before this latest angel came back & we are best friends (We both agreed we can't currently date due to logistical reasons.) We are flirting like crazy though & I wished my other ex was jelly' lol. I never, ever thought this ex would ever speak to me again we had a bad misunderstanding & he had me blocked for an entire year.
Ha!!! I'm no longer saddened by her absence. Truthfully, in hindsight, my newfound clarity is getting clearer....and I have concluded that I shouldn't date at all. I am cognizant of my own insecurities, fallibility, and more. It's a fantasy to think that I could cultivate such a relationship with another...that they would choose me to add value and mutually enhance our lives with greater meaning. I'm out. You all have fun watching this 💩 on a nightly basis trying to make sense of this heartache and more of those to come.
Wow, so you didn't grow? You just insult people carrying on watching the channel bettering themselves? Your ex won. 😂
this video has a very positive message that, though your significant other left you, you still matter. that's lovely, but it is a non sequitur. the point being made is that you are "not replaceable." okay, what is the place? boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife. okay, can someone else take that place? yes. ergo, people are replaceable.
My ex the grass wasn’t greener on the other side so he came back for 4 months only. but unfortunately I just discovered he got the grass is greener syndrome. Now I’m in the middle of nowhere. Ghosting from times to times. 😢😢😢😢
You don’t depend on another person. You are so much more worth than that girl. Why feeling so worthless because of someone else that doesn’t even appreciate the person you are?! Work on your self worth feeling and confidence and you will attract someone who sees and appreciates it. Trust me.
He didn't face any serious consequences probably when he came back. They have to be punished so to not do it again cause they know the cost of their bad behaviour. I would tell him to apologize with paying off debt or buying a luxury item if he wants to get another chance.
Dodged a bullet w the Applebees girl Craig
Unfortunately, the only milestone I went through with my ex was Valentine's Day. After she ghosted me, I didn't reach out on her birthday or this Valentine's Days. It's been 8 months.
Does this attachment & bond happen even if you never hugged & touched that person, if you only talked a lot for a long time and you grew very fond of them? Or they just take off like you never existed and never look back?
After 19 years, my wife seems to want to go scorched earth, discarding me, finding a boyfriend, and destroying us financially. Seems partially physiological. Is that something that can affect women?
Feels like my ex won’t ever reach out to me😢
Don’t despair; I feel this way too but staying hopeful and strong.
We were long distance and we didn’t see each other so often (he didn’t want to)
- I’m scared he has a new person, I’m sure he knows her pheromones better than mine just by proximity ….
I went through the same thing and trust me they are. My ex monkey branched before we broke up. If he doesn’t want to make effort to see u then he’s hiding u from options and options from you.
I want my ex back more than ever.
with time you will realize that you actually don’t. You want the feeling back that you had with them…if the universe removes someone from your life it’s always for the better. Have faith 🫶🏼
I have a feeling that mostly male exes come back and not the other way around.
@@Sunshine-qs4io I'm the one that dumped her.
@@Baronide I'm the one that dumped her. Unfortunately.
@@TielerBYadon Oh sorry man, I don't know why I didn't read Sunshine's comment. Anyway, maybe you can let her know that you regret tour decision.
I was married 35 yrs and he hooked up with ex gf from high school and it broke his heart so he saw her with another guy she married the guy and had 2 kids with. So I just found out he is engaged to her. How why I'm so hurt did he ever love me. We have 3 girls together and grand kids .he couldn't even tell girls in person did it thru text really. I'm done he just doesn't care bout kids or me. Any thoughts
Every time he says vicky I trip out cause that’s my ex’s name. Got me fucked up
I grew up in a big family . I’m aware of not feeling special . Not unique enough
However I like my neck lol it’s a little longish
I hope you too are dating because it’s obvious to all of us that you two have amazing chemistry together and the way she looks at you says it all❤❤
3:58
Or genetically dissimilar.
People always forget that.
Could you do a video about a dumper who broke up because of his depression/burnout?
Search our channel! We have
@@CoachCraigKenneth Thank you, I will have a look
Unless they are avoidant or covert narcissistic, and monkey branched?
My ex of 4 years never looked back once.. 2 years have passed since
I have an above average length neck.
I never mattered to her 😢
Hey man, that's not true. I know you may feel that way right now after being being dumped. But I'm reality if you had a relationship with someone they did care about you. I officially got divorced from my ex wife last year. She still gave me a gift for our wedding anniversary even though we were divorced telling me how hard it was. She still will occasionally send me old photos. She wished me a happy birthday. This after her being so cold and brutal to me in the process. I'm happy I went through that because my gf of over a year just dumped me about 8 days ago. I'm devasted, hurt, and disappointed. She told me she doesn't feel the same anymore and offered friendship. My initial reaction was to try and work it out but I remembered all the times that's worked in my life (never) and stated that I wasn't interested in friendship, only romantic relationship and to eventually get married. I stated my disappointment that she didn't communicate better and that I wish she hadn't blown off talking about closing the distance (we live in different countries). It was one hell of a relationship...thanks to the work I put in during my seperation/divorce process with my ex wife. Yes I have anxiety but people think I'm crazy that I have confidence that once my current ex gf feels the absence, she will look back and see how amazing we were together. Bottom line of you read through my story...she may even say you never mattered...but that's how she feels in the moment is I can guarantee you that you did matter to her for some time. Good luck man, you got this.
I'm male and I have a female sibling, so my dad calls me my uncle's name sometimes...
I see a couple in the making
What these two are saying is so true I’ve been divorced for 20 yrs an just recently I’ve heard from the love of my life an he can still remember what I smelled like when we got married an I was so surprised he remembered how I smelled so fresh an clean after a shower an even the fragrance of Chanel No.5 that I wear
I feel now my ex gf faked our whole relationship!
I have the same feeling, and i ask my self all the time way everything a lie.. im over two months in nc nothing happened
I say stay in no contact!!! I know how you feel. I've been in no contact for 23 months now. I feel so much better now and no longer care if i was to hear from from her or not. I guarantee you that time heals. In the beginning I never thought that i would feel the way that i do now. It's their loss!!@@lostwings1
That's funny bro I haven't laughed in a while
How long does it usually take them to get attached to the new partner? Mine's been with someone new for 5 months now...
When they make it past the 6-7 months mark is when you may start worrying... that's approximately when the butterflies from the honeymoon period disappear and they have to face each other's true self.
Honestly, if you were with them for years then don't worry about 6-7 months. The grass is not greener, believe me you.
Update?
Make a video when they breakup with you to get back to a toxic ex (when everything was literally going great )
What if she blocked me on everything
I have videos on that! Search the channel
It was a little discouraging hearing that the length of the relationship makes a difference considering me and my ex and I were friends for 5 years but only casually dated for about a month. Still hoping I’ll get another shot after doing no contact. We had a really strong connection but it’s been about 5 months and I’m still missing her.
I can tell you time doesn’t seem to matter and if she doesnt appreciate you, you will find someone that does. I ve been together with my ex for 4 years she broke up with me 6 month ago and got into a relationship with her friend 1,5 month after the breakup. On the day of the breakup she told me that she loves me more than anything in this world. Havent heard anything since this day.
I wish you all the best and that you get another chance but dont wait on her. I believe there is someone out there who is perfect for you.
Friends becoming lovers is a no-no. Once the romantic part fails, it's awkward to go back to friendship again. The dynamics have changed. Your friendship won't be the same like before you dated.
Same story here
We were friends for 3 years then we went into a situationship which doesn’t last long we were having fights for almost an year in which we stopped talking to each other many times.
Once things went wrong it’s impossible to be just friends with that person. I miss him a lot.😢
@@Naksu_99 I am currently about to hit 2 weeks of NC. We were best friends for 2 years. Im talking real best friends and talked almost every day for 2 years striaght. We both dated different ppl when we were best friends and when we were both single recently we decided to date and thought it would be easy since we were best friends. We were tired of dating around. Turns out its harder than any relationship ive been in. We dated for about 2 months and she didnt think we were romantically compatible and wanted to go back to being best friends again. It was impossible to go back to that and when she broke up with me I told her I need space.
She texts me the next day begging and apologizing telling me she loves me, cares for me and im a big part of her life and hopes we can be best friends again. I feel like im mourning 2 relationships. The friendship and the romantic relationship. Going from talking almost everyday for 2 years to absolute no contact has been very hard.
I still think about her everyday. Whats weird is we both dont hate each other. We both tell each other we do love each other its just idk how to navigate going back to how it was or even if its possible but I cant imagine not having her in my life in some capacity. She even said this break up was harder than any of her recent break ups bc of how much we mean to each other. I felt the same. First break up where it actually lingers and is a battle everyday. Glad to hear other ppl in similiar situations
@@Tkenny35weird but interesting. Thanks for sharing your weird story. My ex is lesbian and is back with her gf who she hid from me. Safe for her to run into her fantasy land arms when she doesn't appreciate me.
I had a friend that I worked with, they called him "Chicken Neck!"
I always thought it looked like a vulture's neck!
After a month of break up he's engaged to another girl..
Man, they all talking professionally and precisely and then suddenly it transitions into a roast of people with weird necks 😂
I'm replacebale alright. He replaced me with 3 different wives 🤣
He needs to replace himself at this point😂😂.
I have a short neck and a bit sensitive about it! 😉
Maybe my anxiety hormones are scarying my partners away😂
Same 😂😅
❤
My ex moved in with a guy within a week of meeting
Yeah they fill the void quickly to avoid pain and reflection the lack of space between relationships doesn’t allow the newly single or dumped partner time to reflect and improve so they continue with their baggage 🧳 generally these relationships people run into to avoid pain and reflection are short lived hope this helps my gf of 5 years left me 3 days ago we were engaged aswell just last month but honestly she enjoys a lavish lifestyle and well she says she loves me 😂 but also says I need to maintain 10k a month income because she deserves a good life I mean goals are good and high standards but idk where I’m going with this I’m hurting too just remember you have self worth things happen in life get some sun stay busy and improve also self reflect on any mistakes you made to improve that’s what I’m doing 👏 it’ll be alright tho
What if your ex text you "Happy Birthday" during no contact. Do you respond?
We have videos that talk about it!
@Coach Craig Kenneth thanks for your reply. what's the name of the video?
If your ex never looked back it is 100% because you disrepected him. Men do not care how good your couchie is. Just dont disrepect him, he will come back.
wife left me after 5 years for another man.....she just gave up on us in a day. im still in shock. it really is like a death.
the other guy is a body builder....bigger in EVERY way im told. bigger wallet..car..C@*K..last longer....spent the night already.....SHE REPLACED ME OVERNIGHT
The funny neck joke
Who cares. Turn around, walk away and never look back.
First comment, whaddup
HYPERGAMY
444 likes, look up that angel number ❤