Stages of No Contact And What Your Ex Is Thinking
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- Опубліковано 22 лип 2024
- Stages Of No Contact And What Your Ex Is Thinking During No Contact.
In this video Craig talks about the stages of the No Contact Rule that your ex must go through in order for you to get them back.
As Coach Craig explains in other videos, your ex in most cases isn't going to want you back right away. They often go through different stages after you breakup.
So as you leave them alone and respect their decision and they feel like you respect what they want, they will begin to get less entrenched in their position.
So it's important that you do not reach out (which is how Craig teaches No Contact).
The No Contact Rule is where you do not reach out or contact your ex in any capacity for any reason. Unless it is 100 percent business related with zero other motives or intention
Craig talks about how your ex will have both different thoughts and feelings after the breakup. They will seem like stages. You do not want to try to see them or get in front of them when they have initially made the decision at will only make them more definitive about what they want. You must respect their decision.
Eventually they will hopefully understand that they are part of the reason you broke up and start to hold themselves accountable. After that, they will likely start to miss you more and start to fear losing you. After their interest builds, they often do the Indirect/Direct approach.
Get Craig's help personally: www.askcraig.net/take-action/
Get Margaret's help: www.askcraig.net/margaret-1/
Craig's workbook series: www.askcraig.net/workbooks-1/
SUBSCRIBE to the channel to get help with your breakup situation.
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I seriously want to just hug these 2, they are so cute
Margaret is the sh**. She's really funny; but both are really good on advice.
+2 3 4 8 1 2 2 5 1 1 9 2 2
I agree. Especially Margaret.
🤗🤗
No contact is for you not for the dumper. It's for you to heal.. To figure out your own path without them,to improve yourself, to enjoy life again on your own terms, to move on and hopefully one day to be able to forgive and forget.. Create your own happiness and remember time heals all wounds 😉❤️
Des Eos I’ll Always Love Her.
@@suryaananda8362 Every breakup is different.. I hope things go well for you and I hope you get back to her.
Thank you kindly @Des Eos
Thank you !
@@Duhastmage you're welcome I'm glad I could help
I come here every night. 2 weeks since breakup & no contact. You are saving me! I feel like we are all best friends hanging out & you’re giving me comfort & sound advice. It means more than I can convey honestly. Thank you so much. Lots of love to you both & everyone else going through a hard time. ❤️ Stronger every day!
I left my borderline wife .... finally had enough of her crap ... instantly went total No Contact ... 14 days of absolute no contact was so effective she was admitted to the Mental Hospital
JG I’m completely over him. I wouldn’t respond if he tried. I feel like he isn’t worthy now. Growth is amazing!
@@heatherrussell2634 did he ever come back?
Ankita Joshi No, but I saw he got back with his ex who I accused him of cheating on me with, he denied it then but my gut was right. I haven’t spoken to him since the day we broke up. I wouldn’t answer if he tried now. I have no feelings any more which feels so good! I will say no contact worked on everyone else in the past.
Heather Russell the crazy part is he might not of been dating her at the time but when you’re in the friendship phase it may have just happened.
3 days ago I decided to go No contact after one whole month of begging and pleading him to not leave me. Im amazed how I finally emotionally detached myself! 6 yrs together and it was not easy but im on day 4 and now i see him reaching after he left me! He realized I stopped calling and texting now hes the one calling. Taking my power back!
Michelle N yayyy!!!
Jasmine Fernandez i know!🙏🏼😊
💕
Update?
Update?
I feel it’s all about the universe. If you are meant to be together, he will miss you and get back to you to work things out. Otherwise no matter how you change, they will never look back.
My ex left me I was a good dude, guess what I did? Meet a hotter girl that appreciates a good dude. You think a job will take you back after you quit? No !! I’m the Job you left
My job took me back
LOVE LOVE LOVE your take on it!!! Good for you!!!
Very good way of putting it!
I really connected with what Craig said.
You can't change, the relationship can't change, and their feelings won't change.
My ex said these things after the breakup and I could only think "how can these things not change? It was these changes that initially got us to the point of breaking up"
Of course we can change. Nothing is permanent. We change together, or apart as we go through life.
I think she's seeing this now, as yesterday she reached out saying she is proud of me for getting so much done.
update?
.update?
Ex do not come back if they dont love you.
Yes
Its true..
mine only loved me during the love bombing stage because she was a narcissist and as an empath myself,,it was devastating
They dont come back even if they love u sometimes
So i don't have a chance that she come back
The worst feeling is coming to the realization that they were right for dumping you, that you didn't give them the love or attention or the things they asked you for so long, that you took them for granted, that you were neglectful. I had my reasons to behave this way (I was hurt for a long time for something she did) but to her they are probably not valid. I feel so much regret sometimes all I want to do is turn back time and be the way she wanted me to be. Never thought this loss would feel so deep. 5 months post break up and I still see her somewhat frequently, she initiates contact often, and I know she probably has no hard feelings towards me, but she has probably had a way easier time moving on than me.
I am watching this though I already moved on. Just made it a habit to watch your vids everyday coaches craig and margaret. Love you both.
Y it became a habit 😂
Same here. Lol...just hooked now
Inner Core same! ❤️❤️
Rebound relationship?
@@sarahanngreenwell the word "rebound" are for weak ass people.
For stables it's called moving on.
Move on, I was depressed beyond belief worrying about all these factors etc, but I promise you, after a few months, maybe a year, you’ll be in a much healthier place, focus on your life and let your ex feel your absence, there’s such better people out there worth your time, friends, family and new love... they will regret it one day 🙂
No contact is so scary because In some way shape or form we all want validation. But we can't always have what we want and I'm trying to take one day at a time
You both are incomplete without each other! My love, prayers and blessings for both of you.
What if the person that broke up with you was the main problem because they won’t communicate? They shut down and either block you or break up with you. They also get mad and point fingers at you even though you try to be the bigger person and discuss issues as adults?
I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. Apparently a lot of women think if you don't talk about issues in the relationship it will just go away on its own. NOPE !!!!!!
Thats what happened to me!!
Exact same thing with me too, they suddenly dump you out of no where with no attempt to communicate there was even a problem or allowing you to fix it
Soooo true. They’d rather hit the panic button and abort mission than talk about anything. It’s an avoidant trait!
My ex called me today and wanted to talk. After 5 months ! Finally let the guard down
congratulation
pls update
Please let us know how it goes! Most people never give an update 😁
Too early too conclude. But the wind has changed direction. It is a start. No crying or physical contact.
@@killerqueen1974 it must be a good feeling when the tables finally turn.
What i can observe from all of these information is that sadly we dont know how to build healthy relationships and we dont have the knowledge to work cooperatively in a team of two, sharing a platform of values principles and other cultural aspects that enforce love, as the pillar of the integrity in the relationship. Thanks.
For 18 months, I kept wanting and hoping to get back with my ex. I left him after 9 years. I beat myself up, I cried. Took all the blame. Pleaded with the universe, but..I forgot to understand there was a reason why I left the relationship. Yes I still love him with all my heart, but I now know that I do not want the ups and downs..more downs than ups. It wasn't all me. Maybe I will be by myself for the rest of my life, but it's ok..I accept that. But I just do not want to work it out any longer. I miss him, yes I do very much. I wish the very best for him, I hope he finds love..but I'm done..
I couldn’t agree more. My ex never wanted to take responsibility of his part. He kept lying to my face and giving me excuses as to why he did it. My anxiety and neediness grew exponentially after and during this. I see my part and I am working on this. Most definitely will not tolerate lying again in my future relationship, as this is a boundary I am not willing to cross. In the end he left me, telling me I couldn’t change. Even if he never reaches out, I truly hope he at some point sees his part in the breakup. I continue to feel stronger everyday and plan to continue working on myself. Thank you for all your insights!
Hey, how are things today?
I am sure I see halo's around both of your heads Coaches...Thank you so much for your hard work and sharing your boundless relationship knowledge. I look forward to every video you share, you cannot know how much you changed my life. Thank you so much, Rob
Thank you Craig and Margaret for the helpful videos. It truly comforting to know how you understand the pain and anxiety of no contact. I am the One broken up with and this video describes my situation to the nth degree. I understand things so much more clearly now. Subbed. Thank you again 💖
Great talk coaches. Thank you both. These vids helped me though this time. Its been 4months now. He had alot of anxiexty, needy, insecure, angry, and manipulative. I understand that he needs to grow himself and mature in many aspects. He quickly moved in with someone else. I would believe there is a solution and things take work in both parts to fix. He would try but not be consistent and run when things get hard again. He couldnt handle the outcome of his choices and i feel that he just wanted to start from zero, the easy way, not holding himself accountable for whatever mess he would get himself into. I wish him clarity, self discovery, and bless him with love, understanding, and patience. Im working on my career and sticking with our plan without him.
Thats true.
Im im the same boat my ex was like your and he moved on right away I’m heart broken . No accountability im on 3rd month
Did you break up with him for being needy? Or had he broken up with you?
On day 8 of No contact. Broken up for 2 weeks, but since we lived together, couldn't start No Contact right away. I miss him so much. It's weird not knowing anything about how he's doing, after 7 years together. Trying to be strong and watching these videos and reading all of your comments in order to not give in to temptation and text him.
How are you holding up ?
Did he come back?
Hey how are you doing now?...how did it all go. Did he ever contact you or apologize. I'm curious bc I'm in the same situation now but a bit worst. She left hating me and not want anything to do with me bc she had a new supply waiting and making her feel like her decision was right so she left me for him and now they're planning marry even though they haven't met but spoke for months. She seems so excited and happy and I'm devastated. I think of her all damn day. I try not to but it's so hard and I cry every day for her and what she did to me bc I would swear ..I would die for her I would do anything for her to be happy. She abused me verbally and mentally and blamed me for everything and every single time we broke up it was my fault or if I bring up her mistakes she wouldn't wanna listen or flip it on to my past mistakes or didn't wanna be with me anymore. She's 23 now we grew up together but I know at that age woman are unsettled and want to explore. I just wish I didn't love her this much I wish I get in my head she's with someone else bc she didn't really love me anymore.
It’s not always the person who was dumped to make the big changes. My ex was extremely controlling and manipulative. It was when I “changed” and began to stand up for myself that she ended the relationship. I’d love for her to see the light and go back to who she was early on. I’m not going back to being her puppet, even though that is the change she demands.
I really like it when Craig gives advice on his own, however, when Margaret is with him I feel calm, secure and peaceful. I often just listen to their voices and forget to concentrate on the content. Thanks for everything
Love you guys❣️.. thank you for being there in for me in this time of grief..😢.. you have helped me tremendously.
I've watched these videos all day everyday for a month
Any update?
These videos, more importantly you two give me hope for my future.
Great video, solid information, one of your guy's best! Humm, I suppose the exception are avoidants; if they straight up tell you that they never miss you. They leave and never look back. Quite the experience I would say and I would'nt recommend even to my worst enemy.
my ex is avoidant :(
I'm doing well but every now and then I think about my ex and it hurts alot but watching these vids help me and before I know it I feel better already 😁
We broke up 3 months ago, been in no contact for 2 months and 15 days. Not a peep still, sometimes I feel like the situation is hopeless although I try to keep my mind off of it for the most part.
Update?
Update?
Update?
Day one and I’m determined to better myself and not break 💕
update
You can do it just stay focused & disciplined
Thanks for these videos, Craig and Margaret! I first came across this channel in April because I had just been broken up with and was hoping I could turn that back around. Eventually I met someone new in June and now I'm no longer interested in my ex. Despite that, I still watch your videos regularly; me and the new girl in my life even listen to you guys together. I like how your topics make me want to learn more about myself and my damages. Because I have found someone that I want to keep for good, I now make it a point to continue learning how I can make myself more emotionally and mentally fit. I guess you can say that I'm building myself to be more competent in maintaining relationships. I'm happy that your videos make me want to be a better person overall. Again, thanks for all the work you've been putting into this!
Thanks for this. I’m about 1.5 week into NC after being dumped by my GF of 5 years. I’ve started to lose weight, improve fitness, socialise more and try new dress styles. It was a shock, but this video and others like it help me understand. I’m starting to slowly accept I might not hear from them again and I’m starting to accept that it’s over. Very hard though
I'm so thankful for your Videos. I did all the self work and everything recommended and I grew a lot, now thinking that the break up was necessary for me to change my ways and understand. But now I want him to know I changed and how I now understand what he told me before the breakup. But I'm in no contact and its a long distance with no mutual friends. How will he ever know that I changed and that we now have a real chance to be together?!
My ex left me few days ago n I'm still in great pain, I'm a music lover so I thought music could at least eases my mind a bit of this agony, but no, it's the voices of u two consoled me greatly, ur insightful wisdoms and advices helped me thru today, thank you so so much...
you guys helped me so much. thank you!
I definitely think people can be a burden when they aren’t pulling their own weight when it comes to finances, chores, needs & wants or just being too lazy.
Shelby Hartman absolutely bang on. I lived that.
Sometimes these things are not worked out beforehand and 1 person grows resentful from lack of communication.
“Burden” makes perfect sense metaphorically. It simply implies that your partner is weighed down by your dependency. This usage occurs in Ambrose Bierce’s essay “Antepenultimata”, so it should be clear to the American mind. This is a minor point; everything else you say in your videos, which I’ve listened to daily for over three years, is invaluable, and I am profoundly grateful.
Thank you Coach Craig I've been doing no contact and I feel like it's time I talk to my ex about what happened and get it all out. After that I will take time to heal myself and learn to be a better person. Thank you Coach Craig and Coach Margaret
Any update?
I was told I was a burden because I was going through some stress in the past month when the entire relationship was focused around her and her feelings/needs.
As this video pints to.
That big list of things the dumpee “didn’t do” of course is matched with the reasons why’s, or the issues with the dumper. I know in my instance some of that list apply, but I know there were reasons and my ex has her cross to bare. But I became stuck with a simplistic “I didn’t do this or that. I failed her here and there” and never extended to why, or how or ask what she was doing or not doing that wasn’t netting her her wishes. It took counselling to realise the truth. And it’s always more complex. Often the very things the dumper is aggrieved the dumpee didn’t do, such as marriage or more holidays are entwined with the dumper, they have a horse in the race. They’ve often shot themselves in the foot by the way they’ve been conducting things that would pave the way to these goals happening naturally and with joint energy.
It’s easy - because you’ve been dumped - to disappear down the rabbit hole of thinking you did this or that wrong and you need to show and prove this and that because xyz. Yeah, at a basic level. But here’s the thing. That isn’t fixing anything that won’t just end up with a repeat. You fix all that stuff that YOU think you failed the dumper on, get back together and you’ll be in the same dynamic. Because what doesn’t get addressed or acknowledged is the side of the dumper. People aren’t passengers in a rele. Like Queen’s expecting their courtiers to provide.
It’s like someone crying to their folks they didn’t give them a sports car. The parents could crack and give the son or daughter their sports car. But you’d still have the same demanding individual. Alternatively the parents could point out the reason their child does have a sports car also lies with them. What work did they do to achieve their goals? After all, things that didn’t happen, marriage etc. Are goals for the dumper too, and goals need work, not passive observation, issuing demands whilst you place all the guilt and heavy lifting on your partner. There really is no hiding in reles. If something you wish is not happening there’s always a complex reason. Prob is few dumpers are prepared to do such self introspection.
For too many years I blamed myself but looking back she wasn’t putting the day to day effort in to achieve what she wanted. Our basic day to day rele wasn’t being worked on. By both of us, but it was me who was getting the finger of blame, But she won’t ever see that, she’s just not wired that way. But, I’ve come to realise in NC that it is not one person. I wish they did see the balanced view or did a little self reflection. But you just know they’re blaming you when in NC. Shame. I can’t fix what both of us did and didn’t do. I suppose I’m conflicted as know me changing things is only half the task.
Very insightful on reason why they break up with us. Cause I know the mistakes I made and I am here to wrk on them
Lately I struggle with understanding if I'm having a "gut feeling" or simply feeling fear about him moving on. I haven't seen a single thing to indicate that he has moved on, but then again, I haven't seen anything at all. It's been nearly 6 months since the breakup, 3 months since he last spoke to me, and 2 of full NC. He has looked at my Instagram story twice and my LinkedIn once. I have no idea where he is mentally or if he even misses me. We have 2 friends in common and he never asks about me. It's just so bizarre, we were so close and this is the first time in 3 years that we haven't spoken.
.Update?
Thank you so much Coach Margaret and Coach Craig love u both.
Best coach ever
A burden such as illness would cause someone to walk away. Selfishness, immature, petty, unable to have an adult relationship comes to mind.
Thnx for your amazing videos coach ♥. Brief question. When we should disappear during no contact (no texting, calling). Is it good idea to post something on social media? Because they're gonna see it. And if they still see me on social media, do they even start feeling separation anxiety? (and I'm not ghost, if I post something on social media).
She broke up in the beginning of summer and she is all the time in vacations with her family, she didn't and will not think about me or about us. But I will keep seeing your videos because you are amazing and you have so much to teach me.
My ex contacted me around 3 weeks after our breakup (whilst I was doing no contact) to tell me her daughter has health issues and “because I care for her it’s fair I should know”
I happen to know she found out about said illness 8 days before notifying me and also I should note that morning I posted a pic of me looking great, and that afternoon I posted about the fact my divorce papers had been received from my previous relationship (marriage)
she did say in the message that “it’s why I can’t be anything to anybody at the moment, it’s nothing personal and I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you” to which I replied “absolutely kids do and always must come first”.
She sent about 16 messages in the conversation and I send around 11. I was very concise in my reply’s and didn’t mention our relationship atall.
Is she curious or was it just as simple as her telling me about her daughter, baring in mind I’m unlikely to see her or her daughter ever again anyway based on her dumping me.
Many thanks!
I'm a month into my break up and my gf told me she needed to figure out if she missed me or missed being with "someone" but then continued to tell me that "she wouldn't just miss being with someone" we have hung out twice in the pay month both times had sexual intimacy moments. We were together for a year and half and we were best friends. Had everything in common and just everything was great. But there were some flaws Iv decided to go into no contact now and I'm a week into and she has told me she still loves and misses me and cares for me. But I'm in no contact now and everyday I wake up with no validation of not knowing or convincing myself or questioning myself of they miss me or not and why won't they reach out. I just feel better putting my situation out there you guys are great and I listen to 2 videos a day
My exbf and I are long distance. I have a 19 yr old daughter who is caught up in drugs and left my kids with my a husband. Just this sentance explains the drama and dysfunction I cant seem to escape. I cant save my daughter, her father is a nightmare and the greatest guy I've ever met doesnt want someone tied to this kind of drama. I cant leave my kids yet my exhusband is so toxic Ive had to cut him out of my life completely. Now my daughter is gone too. God help me raise my sons to be healthy and happy people.
My wife wanted a break because i "hurt" her to much in the past. When it was both of us that always hurt each other but long story short. We still live amd sleep together we're "friends" and we are gettint along very well. She then starts talking to a guy and incouldnt tell her much because we're just friends. So ii followed this video and shes been blowing up my phone today. And i take 10 mins to reply. So far so good
I've been called a burden. My family drama, job issues ect to much to deal with
Dating for 4 months, we joked with eachother all the time. I called her clingy, and she took is seriously. 1 week with no contact went by. We both thought one another had lost interest, fine just a misunderstanding. The 2nd week after i had seen her, i found out (not from her) she slept with 2 other guys in that week. She said she regretted it, and it was only 1. That she was at an all time low and that's the only way she knew how to cope with her emotions thinking i ghosted her. Then said she doesn't know how long it will take her to get over me calling her a liar, for her past wounds to heal, and how to deal with everything else going on in her life right now. She said we're both unsure of our emotions, i deserve the best, but she can't give me that right now and she had to let go to give me the best chance. I was willing to move forward because despite what happened, i still like her a lot. I told her to take her time maybe one day I'll wait for her. But she has a lot to work on and doesn't want me in the picture (even though she religiously watches social media stories). I guess only time will tell.
J'Mar Michael Joyce update bro?
What is indirect/direct approach? Is asking mundane questions and giving advice (not asked for) considered indirect/direct ?
Im stayin strong with no contact im only messaging to check on our kid we have together im gettin my life on track an feelin better about myself everyday still hurts but im even starting to talk to other people its been over a month since the break up i messed up the first 3 weeks back an probably killed my chances if there was one it was a great 3 yrs we had an i did alot of what you said not to do i started watching your videos about a week ago they have helped me on my road to my own success im bettering myself im workin out an about to start a new job soon aswell
Craig, can you please make a video on continuing to focus on memories with your ex when you've created so many new ones? It's been almost 8 months and I've done incredible things, traveling the world and making new great memories with friends and family, yet i'm still sometimes fixated on old memories with my ex. Just wondering why I can't focus on the past 8 months and looking toward the past?
Same thing happening with me It has been 8 month to me after break up she has moved on very easily and I used to keep her like queen but we spend lot's of Time together we went to on vacation twice for month we had beautiful and amazing memories and I still have kept all my picture in phn she has deleted all.. I don't understand I shall I do how should I overcome from this still thinking about her Everyday
You can only forget the people, not the memories 😢😢😢😢😢😢
He broke up with me to say it was I was too jealous.. but I found out he has been talking to somone for about 3 months now..
Same with my ex he called me jealous and insecure
How do you show your ex that you’ve changed and rethought a lot about the relationship if you’re in no contact? Or without looking weird or pushy
he messaged me yesterday after 12 days of breaking up. i replied. hope he gives essential offer . it is driving me nuts
I have what I think is a unique situation. My ex has the absolute worse anxiety, I cant imagine people having it worse. So anyways I would walk away during conflict not understanding what she is going through mentally, I know understand due to this wonderful channel. Now when she came to get her stuff she brought people with her just to intimidate me, they never were more than five feet away from me. So I took a restraining order out on her and naturally she requested one back on me. So I had contacted her through social media and liked some pics of us on her page when I realized what I had done, when I was really missing her. So she has me completely blocked on her social media sites. We have court on Thursday and I am dropping my restraining order and she lied on her petition that was denied and I do not expect it to go through. Should I go no contact or should I send her one email, I do have some of her stuff and I am moving by the end of the month so I need her to get her stuff.
Amazing craig Margaret thank you
I hate trying to mind read .... this is the hardest breakup that I had to go through. 2 months after the break up . The only time I’ve heard from her is because of the house we own together. She’s moved out. It wasn’t a good relationship due to me being needy , after finding out she was sexting another guy. So now I think she’s with another guy, or going out meeting new guys etc etc, Guys this is really hard......
Can you do a video about what to do if your partner is thinking about separation, they've given you 0% effort/chance of saving the marriage and they are talking to a new interest, how to get them back?
What if your girl dumped you and you tried NC but she never stops contacting you almost every single day for some reason except our relationship.
I've used burden. They lacked any income potential and always needed help. Had to pay for everything. Hence, a burden
My ex s father leaved her home when she was 13 years old. Her mother worked and she and her sister always grew alone. They also lacked hugs , kisses, validation words and love from their father and mother, never speak to each other when angry. She didnt know how to relate to me because she lacked example of a man in her early life. She wanted to control everything in family life.
I'm feeling so much pain, I just miss him so much
Just broke up with my girlfriend yesterday it’s still fresh i might be in denial right now... I do miss her I will always love her but we just were not aligning in our values and our goals maybe it was a stupid reason for me to break up but I felt like I wasn’t valued in our relationship... keep going
Hello dear i know of a person who can help you get your\ ex \back, Manifest any specific person into life within "" "24hrs inbox father right * away *
I left my ex because he was a burden. Always complaining, whining, negative about everyone and everything everyday, I heard the same thing day-in-day-out. No matter what I did or what I said to encourage him, it was the same thing. It was much worse when he was completely drunk which is when he’s also abusive. It took a toll on me and was taking a toll on me emotionally and mentally. The first couple of months it was okay. The whining, complaining and negativity increased as time went on. He was also a burden because he nagged me almost daily on the 3’rd month and beyond about wanting to know my home address and spend the night. I wasn’t ready for all that. I tried breaking up with him over and over only to love bomb me until I went back to him. I finally broke up with him and blocked him everywhere. I never gave him my address because I knew what his real motives were.
I had one like that too.
I had been seeing this girl since November 2019 things started getting worse during the quarantine, we couldn't meet often. It was mostly calls on the phone for hours which caused the attraction to fade away. In July they asked her to come to work, I asked her to meet me and she kept flaking saying that it's scary to meet during the quarantine. We kept in touch and boom a month later, I find out on one of her post where a guy commented that she left her mask with him. I just unfriended, unfollowed and deleted her number from everywhere. She did not bother to reach out. I am not sure if she's seeing that guy or their friends but it's been 45 days and she hasn't reached out.
Well my ex is well and truly settled with the person she left me for, and she's taken down all photos of us together on facebook (I'm not friends with her on there- but there's no 'tag' on any of our photos together). We were together for four years with no obvious signs of problems, but her head was turned by someone else. I still feel devastated and angry with what happened. Especially his influence on her. I need to find someone way of being emotionally uninvolved in her at all. Help!
One of the biggest reasons that my wife left me is because of my mother & her living in our home. I can't set any boundaries with my mom and my wife feels like a guest in her own home. I am now trying to save my marriage and trying to find a place for my mom to stay. I want to do everything I can to save my marriage. Any advise?
what if there first reach out was a drunken late night voice mail telling you how mad they are at you?
How does your ex fully see these changes if there is no contact and are with someone else? I actually got help and tried telling her I changed (had anger problems and wasn’t ready for marriage). Predictably she doesn’t believe I could have changed. How can I let her see this?
One of the reasons my ex left me is because he thought his bipolar condition was a burden to me... it was not. I told him I would try and I meant it, but he didn't give me a chance and left.
I am sorry, one of the reasons why my wife left me.
Hey Coach Craig! Hope you are doing well. Quick question...
Would you mind doing a video on "How to make an AVOIDANT want you back/miss you vs. How to make an ANXIOUS person want you back/miss you" Are there any differences?
Coach has touched upon this in different videos. Basically all you can do to make an avoidant miss you is to give them a taste of their own medicine. Go NC, disappear, that makes them anxious and feel the loss of control.
Why would my ex block me on Facebook four months after the break up and after nearly three months of no contact (no attempt whatsoever)? Especially when her profile is set to private and she chooses what to share publicly? Is it possible that no contact is getting to her to the point where she can't handle seeing me doing well? If she wanted to hide a relationship, she would just have to not share the post publicly. Also, my photos were still up on her profile until a month ago.
What are the stages of no contact if they have blocked you? Surely the stages are different because we cannot physically contact anyways and they know that!?
Hey...what about if the one being dumped makes a mistake due to ignorance (i.e. cheating) and they are truly remorseful about the mistake and wish to reconcile?
Hi Coach Craig,
My ex broke up with me three months ago after an 8 month relationship because he didn’t love me nor see me long term. About two months ago back in July which was less than a month after the breakup, he contacted me through an indirect approach (not sure if this would be considered indirect or not) about a picture of pizza that I posted on my instagram story while I was on a work trip. I waited a day to reply and we ended up having a normal conversation for a few hours until late into the night. I haven’t heard from him since. I unfollowed him on social media, but I noticed that he still views everything that I post. I’ve been told by people that this doesn’t mean anything. What do you think the chances are that I will hear from him again?
I’ve been having trouble letting go and moving on even though the since point to him not contacting me :-(
Well my ex told me that he was leaving me cause I was a leach and he didn't love me anymore and never did. After 12 years and 3 kids. He wanted me to stay home and be with our kids full time, didn't want me to work, he made good money. But then after awhile he saw me as a leach. I would rather be a burden then a leach. I told him to pack his bags and go if he wanted out that bad.
My ex started contacting me wanting to hang out but I have mixed feels because. The break up and games can you do a video on this issue
So I always said if me and my ex got back together I would update you guys. So my ex left me in November. I watched these videos felt hopeless. Reached out on occasions to him but he was rude and showed no interest. He blocked me on everything including Facebook and phone. He even started dating other ppl. Now here we are in June I called him and apologized for my wrong doings. He didn’t say much and hung up quickly but he later text me a short message. Also he has unblocked me on Facebook. Although all this might mean NOTHING. I’m extremely excited and if given the opportunity will use what I learned in these videos and apply it if given another chance. Regardless of how hopeless it looks there is always a chance. Hang in there guys !!!!
Hows it going now?
Hey coach I had a question and maybe a video topic you can do? What if your in no contact and your ex reaches out saying they miss you and want to hang out as friends?
Coach has already talked about this. You don't accept friendship, unless that's what you want. You tell your ex to reach out only if they change their mind. Meanwhile you stay in NC until that happens or you move on.
This video is very helpful, but it’s been almost 8 months and my ex is still angry and has made no contact with me for 7 months, even though we work together he doesn’t make contact at work either unless he has to, he has shown no signs he misses me or think about me since he left, we lived together and we were together for almost 6 years, he even told a friend he doesn’t think about me 2 months after he left
Did he come back
Today is my ex's birthday. I've been in NC since July, decided that I'll remain this way. It's been difficult but I made it and didn't break the silence. And won't do it although I think he expects me to wish him a happy birthday.
Same here a little while ago, it was very very hard and tempting.
@@rogueee I was tempted too and was really close to reach out to him. Especially that this thought was crossing my mind very often. Wish you luck :)
I literally took a trip during my exes birthday to avoid messaging him lol. I was miserable the entire day but I made it through. Good for you for being so strong!
This makes me sad because he broke up with me 3 weeks ago and it’s my birthday tomorrow and I’ve been in NC since. Idk if he will reach out and though I shouldn’t expect him too. I have this little hope that he will but I know he’s not going too, and that hurts even more 😔
@@nenuhhS11 I know it's a difficult time for you. I wish you all the best. It's nothing new but time really heals the wound. Keep my fingers crossed 4U.
What if the break up was situational? Angry phone call lead to breaking up
.Update?
This is the hardest part. My ex left me after 14 years and broke up with me via text and told me to GET LOST! Then he blocked me so I couldn’t even respond. Talk about stabbing the heart. It’s been three months of no contact and I struggle with wondering how he can pretend I don’t exist. If I had to guess why I was dumped is because we fought in the recent weeks over what I would consider not break up stuff. But hey, to each their own. He isn’t with someone else and if he were, I probably would move on quicker bc then I would know it wasn’t about me. Blocking me would make sense if I was nutzo and stalked him but not the case here. Not to mention, he gave me a loving card for our anniversary one week prior. And spent $100 dollars on me. Who does that and then Dumps you a week later?? It wasn’t even thought thru. Despite all, I love him and forgive him and myself. So even if he never ever ever chooses to contact me, I do feel some peace with this awful breakup. I am still depressed and not over how it ended. No real closure. Wondering how come he doesn’t miss me and doesn’t feel the heart aching too. 🦋
It’s interesting to hear Margaret say the needy ones usually get back together. My ex-gf broke up with me after repeated needy behavior from me and she felt smothered. I’ve been doing no contact since she broke up with me 3 weeks ago…really is there hope if I can show her I’m strong enough to stay away?
I'm sorry, I think it's sad that people only like relationships for the rainbows and sunshine but don't wanna ride the storm out. I think the days of 30+ year marriages are over. It's a instant gratification world and people just want likes on FB and to be entertained and spice all the time. I worked a steady job, watched her kids so my girl could work and accomplish her goal career goals and would plan road trips and adventures and date nights and tried to find a balance with all of it and I ended up getting left for the neighbor lol. I'm way better off now and I no longer believe in long term relationships. I'm just going to date, enjoy the ride for while it last and just be ready for the next girl to leave me once she's "bored"
Me and my ex had been together for 4 months and she decided to break up with me because she felt that the relationship wasn’t going as she expected and that we were not compatible. I wanted to take things slow because in my past relationships I was moving to fast and then the problems started and it was never the same. I never told her that I loved her because that is not something that I say in the moment saying I love you to me is a big thing. I am in love her and I wanted to tell her but I wanted to take it slow and I’ve been hurt before so I was protecting myself. After she broke up with me she said if I had any questions just ask so I ask “was it me not giving you enough attention or affection?” And she said no you’ve been great to me and respectful but I don’t think we share the same values and goals in life. So I was confuse because we are both going out for the same profession and I do to want kids and a family but not now. So I got out the car in anger but then I tried calling her back and she told me that she didn’t want to speak to me and I kept texting her and calling her and she ended up blocking me from social media and everything etc. So it’s been 4 days since I’ve talk to her and I might see her @ a friends party. I want to try to talk but I’m not sure if I should. So what should I do?
I loved him but I had to let him go, he was always buzy he said. 1 month No Contact
any updates?
I broke up with a guy who I considered to be a parasite-
Didn’t meet any of my needs, no job, no car, wanted me to buy his cigarettes, wanted rides everywhere
So I can relate to the “ burden” reason
I had one of those once! He ended up homeless because he was on drugs and would sleep in my car. It got to where I just pitied him, but didn't love him and got tired of buying him booze, food and cigarettes every day for months. I finally walked away and blocked his number. Best decision I could have made. He just got more into drugs but eventually got the help he needed. A couple years later, he tried reaching out. I just wished him well but I'd long since moved on by then. Good for you for walking away! Sometimes it's the hardest decision to make. I just walked away 2 days ago from a 6 year relationship with a guy that just stopped caring for me. He took me for granted and didn't value me above everyone else in his life, even strangers on social media! Just 4 hours after I walked away and said goodbye, he messaged me. I ignored it and still haven't read the whole message but read enough to see he quickly changed his attitude to try to keep me but only for his own ego. I have to get over him before we can even revisit being friends at this point after how badly he treated me and he owes me thousands of dollars. I just want my money back now and won't be willing to invite him back into my life until he starts paying me back the $5,000 he owes me! Only then will I know he cares. Actions always speak louder than words. It hurts, but I know I deserve better! Take care of yourself. These 2 coaches have helped me so much just watching the videos. God bless you. Remember to always know your worth. That's the best advice I can give you.
🙏🏻🌹🙏🏻
Question coach. If youre in the no contact stage and yall living in the same area, would it still work?
A person is a burden? To put a heavy burden on someone - that is difficult ti bear. A source of great worry or stress. For example, my husband refuse to work- he is a burden because I take full care of him and the children; and he refuse to carry his own load (responsibility).
What if he broke Up with me but 3 years after of "friendship" i said, i cant keep this, can't be your friend, should I do no contact? He is doing no contact because he's mad thinking I broke up, but I just said I want you back and you don't so I go...
I'm not sure if I screwed up or not but I couldn't take it and I deleted her off my social media account cause I couldn't concentrate on me...did I screw up my chances?
Truth, Your ex is thinking "thank God it's over"
sic2mystomach right 😂
For a bit. Pretty much all of my exes have contacted me in the future though. Once it starts setting in and she's like "oh shit he might be gone forever" then suddenly she realizes "shit I miss him" and now she's back texting and calling you and wanting to see you in person if she actually still loves you.
sic2mystomach At first. But after No Contact begins their ego takes a hit.
Only temporarely. To my personal experience and the one of people around me, most exes will think about you at some point, and not few of them will reach out at some point. It's true they think "thank God it's over" right after the break up, but once they truely feel the consequences and start to realize they may have lost you for good, their ego takes a hit and they start remembering and second guessing stuff. Humans, and women especially, are sensitive beings driven by emotions and memories. Fact of a matter is that you once were a very important part of their life and most people can't just forget that, no matter how much they may want to and/or say so. And if they aren't psycho and your relationship wasn't a complete train wreck, you will cross their mind in one way or another at some point. Now this does NOT mean they will get back together with you, or come back, or even reach out. But most of them will get curious, and not few of them will check up on this curiosity, and if it's just to see how you are.
Miranda R
I bloody hope so
I’ve had a hard time figuring out how she could say “we should have been engaged by now” I still see myself marrying you but... it may be Too late and things like that. Can you explain a little more about how that works and what I can do?
Um No that's women for you! No contact! Focus on yourself! Look at it this way... do you want to marry a woman who is impatient and would bolt when she doesn't get her way?! She's high risk dude! Save your money!
I left a job thinking the gas is greener on the other side but ended up back in the job I left and realized I like it more