1. Stopped drugs and alcohol 2. Stopped chasing acute feelings of joy 3. Stopped staying up late 4. Stopped restricting my food intake 5. Stopped allowing myself to be inactive 6. Stopped getting fully invested in fantasy world - tv, videogames etc Might want to listen - each item is qualified
Thanks for the list, but this is not what he lists in the description. Before people go looking for the description.. it doesn't have time stamps either
@@susanportrey3223this is what Jim Carey talks about, saying that being depressed is taking a rest from faking being the character you show the world. I set myself up very early on as the quick witted Chandler type. I was able to stay in chandler mode only through drinking, but eventually that caught up with me and now I can't drink anymore. Trying to still be Chandler is exhausting, but accepting that I get nervous around others and start tripping over my words etc is hard to do, so I keep trying to force this persona, or just stop socialising in order not to.
The flip side of this is, when you admit that you are depressed, to not exaggerate this and start saying things like, "I've been depressed every minute of my life." Yes, you may have had a lot of depression, but you have also experienced other emotions and it is helpful to notice them, too, and to have confidence in your level of resilience.
Your ability to relate to people because of your own 'broken' parts is why you're the only doctor I subscribe to... you've removed the hierarchy between doctor and patient. Thank you for your work.
I agree. I also subscribe to “Patrick Teahan” and “HealthyGamerGG” for this reason (Patrick has lived experience with childhood trauma and Dr K with gaming addiction and ADHD).
I've had severe, treatment resistant depression and anxiety for 25 years, I'm 44. I have been hospitalised and attempted my life 3 times. I even had ECT. I was on 6 different medications last year too ( 1 was 388 lbs). I was drinking, lots. Eating, lots and staying up night after night trawling social media. I started walking, not far at first, I came off my meds, cut out sugar, cut out booze and in 10 months I lost 210 lbs. i learned a lot about modern stoicism, about being present, and not dwelling on things - and focussing on things I can control, I made my life simpler. Am I cured? No. Do I have a life and feel joy now? Hell Yes. I now have the coping tools to ride out the periods of lowness, rather than catastophis and grab on to food and booze and drugs as crutches... I have to say - this is one of the most important and real vids on this topic you can watch. Well done Doctor Scott Eilers. To all you guys out there - you can tame it and live a life. Do stuff simply, do stuff often. Bless
Not any more. 16 months ago a weened off... Would never go back on them... even when depressive episodes return; and they have... diet/exercise/logical thinking...and acceptance.
@@gracejones2831 I have gone on and off depression meds for many years. Pristiq was one of them. I am thankful when I can be off them, and I accept that I may need them again in my life. Hope you find what works.
I’m 70 and I’ve been depressed since my childhood. I’ve coped and dragged myself through life. I have bright spots, many in fact. The bright spots have kept me alive but now I no longer care if I live or die. I think I’ve stayed alive to not hurt family. I can’t seem to crawl out of the hole. I keep hoping.
I'm 36 and have been severely depressed for 12 years nothing seems to get better for me, if I'm like this still by the time I hit 50 then I'll most likely end my life
I pray you can feel better sometime soon. Try to find Jesus’ love and forgiveness for your life. Doesn’t mean we don’t get sick, but we have God’s protection and strength thru the trials. God bless you 🙏
I am the female version of you. You describe your brain and depression just how I have experienced mine for 55 years. I'm going to try 2 things from your video. 1. Accepting, finally, that my brain is wired differently than others and be ok with that fact. 2. Force myself to get out of my house and go for a walk everyday. I really resonated with you when you said you struggle with feeling like doing nothing and needing to do something.
Depression is just a very good reminder that there’s something missing within you. The day you realize what’s missing is the last day you ever experience depression again.
This: "I really resonated with you when you said you struggle with feeling like doing nothing and needing to do something." I wrote it down as he said it. I've never been able to actually master this and I struggle with it a lot.
My 2 sons have mental health issues and my wife sees a therapist. I started watching your videos seeking understanding. I shared your videos with my wife and she says you're very relatable. That's high praise. Thanks for what you are doing. It's quality help. Peace
Well done to you… and I say that because some people cannot even generate that… you as a family will collectively benefit. Also nice to see a male give a perspective in a therapeutic setting 😊
Thanks to you for trying to understand, from personal experience it makes a world difference to have who's supposed to love you try to understand and support you :)
Vigorous exercise every day, 10 mins, that's all. Socialize, that's important and get into work if you can, anything. Those 3 things help a lot. The exercise causes some kind of stuff to circulate in your body that is anti-depression and it is powerful.
I think depression is a completely natural human response to really opening one's eyes to the modern world/society in general and asking some very real questions.
I'm not so sure it's the "modern world" as much as it is just "world" There have been references to "melancholy" and "anhedonia" (I think that goes back to ancient Greeks) since language was created. Some humans (and even other animals) are just biologically predisposed to a certain set-point of happiness and ease of immersion in their environments. You're right that it is "natural" -- but so are many disabilities that people deal with. This is just another flavor of being in the world having drawn a certain kind of hand to play.
Your videos are helping me be more forgiving of the many times over my very busy, high achieving professional career as a professor/writer that I've had to cancel on conferences and workshops I'd been looking forward to....why? Because of mercurial, suddenly-appearing and mind-freezing anxiety attacks and/or instant onset of depressive moments-days that can't always be easily predicted. I've really beaten up on myself for not always being "consistent," and embarrassed that others (event planners, colleagues, etc) will think I'm a flake who doesn't care. I appreciate that your videos help validate that I am someone who like you is high maintenance, complex, and has to struggle through so many ups and downs, and that I'm not the only dedicated, busy and productive professional person experiencing this and most of all, that I'm not the failure I often label myself to be. For all of my high-achieving - which is so important, because as for you, I also find that doing for others, connecting outside myself with others (teaching, giving readings and lectures, etc) is hugely therapeutic and rewarding and brings me joy and uplift even in the darkest moments) - but sometimes I have to unexpectedly and frustratingly step back and focus completely on self-care. Thank you again for your astute, insightful and compassionate video content which I also find so validating and helpful in these short pieces you post - there is so little in our daily lives that speaks to all of this and the struggle can get so lonely. You are building a crucial mental health discourse and schema for so many of us to use in our daily and hourly challenges.
I really appreciate that you don’t edit your videos to be cut so that you make no mistakes and that you don’t even seem to breathe! those videos that are very popular by most content creators, to edit them in such a way that makes them speak fast and error free actually creates a bit of anxiety for me. where your videos are very realistic and comfortable and authentic and I super appreciate the ease and realistic setting you create, feeling like you are right here and we’re having a real conversation. The Content is fantastic and super helpful!
Piggybacking onto this comment: I also appreciate that your videos don't utilize flashy graphics or stock photos/videos or background music to help "illustrate" your points. I find that stuff distracting and they take away from the message, even if it's a valuable one. I hope you don't ever go that route. Your content is down-to-earth and promotes a positive message that many of us need to hear, especially in these times. Thank you for your podcast!
PhD doesn't make a person, I have known doctorate students acting very immature and unhealthy I would even say some get their PhD by wrong means. It depends what is your reason behind pursuing it and what you do after it..
I'm a neuroscientist in academia - it's not easy, but it's very possible to pursue this career. The earlier you establish a strong toolbox for handling your mental health the better.
I had a really good, rigid routine going for a solid 3 years that helped me in so many ways to manage my response to my anxiety. But I found that when my stress “bucket” was full, it killed the routine gradually over time, which then caused a domino affect where I lost all the positives that the routine brought to me. Right now, I’m working to get that routine back. It is taking as much work as it did to begin the routine, if not more! I have subscribed to your channel and am now going to search for a video on burnout recovery. I miss my routine. I miss my morning workouts. I miss my confidence and I miss my strength. Thank you for what you do.
I've only just got to see this video today and came across your comment. I truly hope you have recovered in the meantime and have happily got into your routine. Your comment struck me particularly because, like you I had worked and built up my routine over almost fifteen years. Like you I was hit by the stress bucket, over a decade ago,due to a succession of life events that shuttered every aspect of my former routine life stability. The difference being that it didn't slowly buck in but it came all at once and in endless ongoing disasters and tragedies that has left me with nothing of what I had before and completely destabilised. The reason for my reply isn't to play victim but rather to point out that even if I too long share your desires in getting back to my previous healthy and balanced routine, I'm in a position that I can't even imagine how because I don't even have the basement to be able to work up from, let alone the body and mind ageing process which are altogether constantly keeping me in a constant "freeze" zone. I hope this helps to keep you motivated to restore and maintain your life because no one can love you more than yourself.
Physical activity saved me. Though I have a college degree and consider myself an intellectual, my mental health healed when I 1. Quit booze. 2. Started doing physical labor-carpentry, and oil fiels work outside. When I worked as a designer and sales rep I spent most of my time at a desk or on the phone. I was riddled with depression. My ancestors must have been hunters who were on the move all the time. Listen to your body.
I’m 41 with CPTSD and ADHD and feel such anxiety about my office job. I’ma designer and never anticipated that my life would be at a desk. The adhd means I am exhausted, single, no kids, and a life married to my job- that I feel incredibly unfullfilled by. I wish I had a manual job, like carpentry
Wow. Feels like something finally “clicked” for me hearing this. I’ve been spending months watching productivity channels, obsessing about my mental health, feeling “different” and “broken” and suddenly you just put it in a way that makes sense
Coming out of freeze mode, I realized that while not chasing joy, I also was not achieving the 'must do now's'. This morning I tried to think of a few good times or things that have happened in my life. Every one that came to mind was tinged and overtaken by a connected failure or slight, or rejection. That got me out of bed and to work on my to-do list. Once active, my ruminating and severe anxiety/depression went away. It came back on every break I took. I, too, have been a lifelong sufferer of depression. At my age, my time left is rather short. I am adament that, like you, I find my way to a largely balanced mindset and life.
Nostalgia is a trap, it keeps you in the past. Maybe join a group , get a new hobby, start going to church. I'm 78 and am still working as a draughts person. Keeping busy, exercising, or working is good for your mental health. Getting to know Jesus will be the best thing that you could do. He gives us new life. The worst thing that you can do is live in the past, you'll miss the present and your future . I'm a hermit type person, but I have fought back against it and life is good, being busy and reaching out to God and other people. It is never too late to change habits. You can do it. God bless🤗
You failed that psychology class, but all that matters is you got back up again, and look where you are now. You give people hope. That's not a failed person! I wish you could see yourself the way people who watch your videos see you. You are a really important person.
This is what I thought! Despite the F in the Intro course, he's pushed on, pursued, and still managed to become a qualified psychologist. That's a win to me! 🎉 It's probably doubly impressive managing to do it with chronic feelings of a lack of motivation and mental energy or clarity. 😊
I have to make these same choices. It is my healthy brain 🧠 diet. My list includes 1. Time in nature. 2. I need to pray regularly 3. I need to reach out to friends and not be a recluse 4. I need music 5. I need to help someone each day. 6. I need to eat healthy food 7. I need to go to bed early and get up early. 8. I need to move. 9. I need to get dressed everyday and look nice. 10. I like to be fresh and clean.
Why is it that we cannot find each other and help each other. That is my question. Look at all the comments on this page. Or maybe depressed people cannot stand depressed people. Who knows.
A very good summary. My garden and pets are the things that keep my base emotional level ok. After my dearest daughter passed away, I struggled with panic attacks 4Years now. Working in my garden and sketching and painting are both things that helps.
10 points in a list is a solid number. So please don't blame yourself if you're unable to fulfill every one of them. Even one fulfilled point is an achievement 🙂
Wow, you've just described everything I've been through my entire life. What you have put in this format is something I've discovered through trial & error. I'm 64 years old and it took me a few decades to realize all of the same things. You are 100% right as far as my severe depression disorder. It's so great to hear you describe this & give functional solutions to everyday living. I have to admit that sometimes I stop doing some of those 6 things and yes I fall right back into the darkness of just existing. You've given me a little push today to start paying more attention to those 6 things. Thanks so much.
It’s 71 and have been treated for depression and anxiety since I was 30. I have been on pretty much every medication and even ECT. It’s treatment resistant and I can relate to the feeling of just existing and even passive suicide feelings at times. There’s an urgent need to study effective elderly depression treatment.
I'm 68 and still having trouble with that 6th choice, the attraction to fantasy worlds. I have a rationale for it though as I am in a period of transition without as much agency as I will have later. But I will have to face it then. I knew it as a problem, but Dr. Scott Eiler's analysis I think may be useful when I decide to buckle down on that one.
Yep 👍 I actually couldn't figure out to use a tv when I recently visited family, and I was trying to turn on cartoons for my nephews haha @@greghayes9118
Please keep watching the news - but watch responsible new services that tell the truth. You can then feel glad that someone has worked hard, and often in difficult circumstances, to bring you that information, and you can know that just spreading that news has a good effect, putting pressure on everyone to behave better.
You hit the nail on the head when you talked about not wanting to do anything, but not wanting to do nothing either. This happens to me every day, and as you say, is super frustrating.
Same here. I have learn though that deciding and building up the courage to venture out I in most cases feel much better having done so than if I had stayed home. Most have to be in the company of others just for validation but I just don't rely on just that. I sometimes just go to the park for a walk listening to my music on Bluetooth..
@@darnellanders8768I’m the same. Getting out of the door is the hardest part. I think it all stems from anxiety, and a fear of just sitting still with my thoughts. Alone with my thoughts is not good sometimes.
@@TwelveBravo And mind U there is a saying that if one doesn't enjoy their own company then how can one expect others too?? To calm your thoughts U must realize that it's okay to not need validation from others rather its people places and or things to know that U exist and in knowing that U exist for the very reason God created U. I know folks who are addicted to people places and things.. Not a good thing at all. Because as U know all good things and bad things will come to a end.. And if U are not more grounded in God when they occur the sting will hurt that much more.. With all the corrupted and vile things going on in the world it's no wonder we have more fear and anxiety but we can't allow that to rule us keeping us in fear of our very being to the point of not venturing out becoming a hermit. We now just need to be more aware of our surroundings while out and about. To spite some folks and their flaws the world has such beauty to explore .. The beauty of nature is unconditional.. Never take it for granted.. We have access to it everyday..
sometimes, we have to force ourselves to get out and do something. It is healthy for us and we feel better for doing so. Staying active, accomplishing things (even the most simple things), exercising and being outdoors will work wonders ! Stay strong. God's Blessings ALWAYS. 🙏🙏🙏 💚💚💚 ✌️✌️✌️
Thank you 🙏. I’m a 56 yr old woman who is beyond crippling loneliness and all my time is spent helping others. I phoned the Samaritan yesterday and hung up as I felt so so ashamed . I think people usually assume middle aged women have someone to talk to. Thank you for these tips that help you through
No. Most middle aged women don't have friends. We've all spent the last 20 plus years looking after kids, home and men and ignoring our own needs wants and desires in the mean time. There are zero community activities geared towards women, gone are the women's auxiliaries and the quilting clubs, so yes tons of middle aged women are lonely. I have found that if you can find a fabric store or local craft store in your area, most have get together days...our local needle point shop does...also volunteering helps get you with people, community gardens, if you are religious churches and temples are a good place to start too. Also get together with some older women. I sew every Thursday with ladies 20 years older than me, they are fun. Good luck, big internet hug. Hang in there
68 and in the same boat. I agree with the other reply. Honestly I have no idea how to flow up and see replies after I send them but wish I could.followntgis thread.
@@docrob5320thank you. I am in the same situation only also divorced which was due to my poor thinking and depression. I was desperate. I am trying to find a way to stay alive and not suicidal all the time. There only fabric stores left are the corporate craft store, JoAnne. I made every mistake possible in attempting to improve my depression and loneliness. I can't undue any of it. This is life.
I don't have any proper friends - I don't get lonely - I am quite happy pottering about by myself - but people try to make me feel guilty and weird - and try to get me involved in stuff which find so uncomfortable.
I can’t believe you described my life…. 100% day in & day out… No joy No happiness No friends/family No inner peace No God given talents or abilities No focus No strength No hope
Dr. Scott is BY FAR the best person or channel on UA-cam- he feels like one of the ONLY ones actually bringing hope to the hopeless! I'm a single Mom and implementing his simple to understand strategies have helped me more than any therapy or medication over many years. He makes changing seem possible, he understands the difference between depression and being or seeming "lazy" at certain times- I'm not a lazy person at all but I do have periods I feel very shut down and this causes shame spirals where I get SO upset with myself. I really hope Dr. Scott realizes how much he's helping so many of us that find him SO DIFFERENT than anyone else in this space and just in general! And he's also honest that there's no magic fix, but that we can slowly, little by little, change our mindset and change our lives. Plus he's just so fun to look at and Listen to!!! All my Love, admiration, and gratitude to you Dr. Scott!! PLEASE keep doing what you're doing! And listening to your own journey and experience in this video helped so much, I will start using these new tips starting tomorrow. Literally the best channel on UA-cam, I've told all my friends and family to subscribe and watch! ❤️🥰💖
You have given me a lot to think about today. I struggled with my first episode of depression when I was 14 and our family moved to a new state, the second was a bad marriage. Decades and many traumatic experiences later I'm in the worst depression I have ever been in. I'm never hungry and nothing is "delicious" anymore so I don't eat well. When you mentioned eating habits it woke me up. That's the first thing I have to tackle! I have to eat well, consistently, then I will have a more stable foundation to implement the other 5 steps. Thank you!
Thank you for helping me make sense of my very broken world. I am 50. I've been fighting depression since I was 19. Lost my husband of 20 years in May of 2021. About 90% of my time is in a swirling black hole of suck. 9% is flatlined but I get 1% of daily laughter in there and I'm working on raising it to 2%. Thank you for making enough sense that I listen to your whole video. Whichever one I may stumble across. Please keep at it and thank you.
Sorry for your loss. Such "departures" are really really bad for us depressed people. Yuck! My fiancee in China was in a serious car accident a month ago and I have not heard ANYTHING from her since. In a very unusual way I learned of the accident and I did get a photo of her in the destroyed car being extricated by a rescue worker,. So I know the accident is real and she was alive at least immediately afterwards. This has totally stopped me in my tracks! I've dealt with lost friends and relatives. But a missing fiancee? Yeah, I like what you said, "...swirling black hole of suck."
I think that depression is a murky emotion which discourages us from thinking clearly. Instead of avoiding the topic, we should go past the generalized feeling and ask specific questions about what is bothering us. Are you angry? disappointed? hurt? and what exactly happened that mattered to you? Can you do some small thing to improve the situation? Or is it a matter of facing up to a difficult fact? e.g. yes, you didn't get that job but maybe you didn't prepare enough for the interview or maybe you did but someone else just got the job. Instead of generalizing and saying "Nothing ever goes right for me," we should be specific and say, "OK, I missed out on the last 6 jobs I applied for but that happens to a lot of job seekers. I'll just have to try to be tough and persistent - or even get some advice about job searching." Please talk stuff over with someone who is likely to give you constructive help.
You are the only person that describes what I have been going through my whole life. Thank you so much for sharing. Like you, when I’m depressed I have to do something productive. I have stopped social media or kept it to a minimum. I looked at other people’s lives then I felt so defeated. I’m in the process of making my own family by choosing who I let into my life. It’s an ongoing process!
Having ADHD with emotional dysregulation, I can relate to all of this. And your number 6 isn't weird at all. I don't watch TV or play videogames as much either, especially episodic TV. I don't like to be emotionally invested in fictional characters long term. I like movies. And I was telling myself this week that I need to use things that I can achieve as a dopamine booster rather than resorting to youtube and the like. Thank you for sharing. I truly appreciate it.
I'm 67 and I'm sure I was born with depression, I've only worked this out recently and why I think this is because looking back over my life I've never felt real happiness like I see other people enjoying their life . There isn't any photo's of myself smiling, you see children laughing, happy over nothing but that was never me, and all my life I felt cheated of not having that , could never understand what is wrong with me 😢 I did eventually find some joy in my children, my pets but also a deep sadness when it ended ( Children become adults, pets die ) I am a very compassionate person and feel genuinely for others who suffer and especially animals therefore I am constantly saddened easily and it is a real struggle to always having to be me and not being able to change that . Thank you for your kindness and helping those who so desperately need someone who really, truly understands 💜
Same l remember being at school when l was about 8 all l did was cry every day in the playground one day l didn't cry but the next started all over again now l am on medication 65 years old live on my own
It is this combination of infinite kindness and utmost understanding and at the same time toughness and determination that makes your content so wonderfully effective, thank you very much for that. Best regards from Berlin, Germany
Here are some of the things I do to help when I am having a depressive episode (in addition to what you already mentioned in your video). 1) avoid silence. I make sure there is music playing or an audiobook so that my own skull chatter has to compete with it for its soapbox. 2) to help with sleeping, especially when I cannot quiet my mind, I *listen* to a movie I have seen a hundred times before. I have a few favorites. I would be willing to bet that many people have a few favorites they have seen many, many times. I listen to it while I am trying to go to sleep, but I don't watch it. It must be dark so I either cover the screen or let it run in another room and use a remote speaker where I sleep. Then I try to visualize the movie while I hear it. It pushes out disturbing thoughts because it takes a lot of my brain to see the movie in my mind. Seeing images in my mind is very close to the sleep state and getting to sleep from there is much easier. 3) I try to find something creative to do when I am awake and not working. Not a video game or any kind of *participative experience*. It has to be something creative like pour painting, 3D modeling and printing , writing or woodworking. It can be hard to bring myself to do it when I am depressed, but it is helpful when I can. This is related to your idea of accomplishments vs, joy-seeking. 4) Do something nice for someone else. Sometimes I don't like myself enough to do something nice for myself, but I still want to help others, and that feels good. I can see in their eyes (or imagine it if I can't see their eyes) that they appreciate me and sometimes that rubs off on me.
Do you know Pema Chedrön? I recommend her meditation workshops / audios. Making peace with your mind helps you accept silence and vice versa. My journey to healing started when I could just listen to the silence and be an observer of my mind instead of judging these things. So, maybe it makes really sense to avoid silence, but avoiding yourself and your own mind could be the downside of it. Personally I couldnt stand silence half of my life, always distracting me from myself, the journey to yourself also begins in silence (which maybe comes with some pain). So interesting...
I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression disorders. I tried Everything!! The thing that has helped me the most is learning how to sit with it. Then encouraging myself to do things. I seriously had to learn to sit with myself first. I didn’t die.😊
This is similar to a method in self-help: Accept and redirect. You acknowledge that you have a feeling/experience of something you don't like and accept it in a neutral position. Then, as the feeling/experience fades, you direct your focus to something desirable and productive.
You didn't try everything, now, did you? Did you try methamphetamine? Works for me! The quicker-picker-upper...it ain't Bounty paper towels, if ya catch my drift and I think you do!
I feel ya. 62, retired, chronic depression and anxiety forever. It's a struggle to manage and some days it all goes south and I cry and wish I could die. Those are deep self care days ❤
I`ve been battling depression & anxiety for about 15 years and had some really dark episodes where I thought there was no reason to live anymore (last one 2 years ago) but lately, I`ve been working intensely on my mental health. I`ve changed my lifestyle quite a bit and things that have been most beneficial to me are: - having a healthy environment (living close to nature and spending as much time as possible outside) - having healthy habits: meditation, joga, mindfulness, journaling, reading, rest,... - living authentically to my dreams and desires - following my values and interests - ending toxic relationships (that triggered my depression) - learning about psychology, mental health & mentality - healing unhealthy patterns, traumas, triggers hope this is helpful for anyone, sending you much love!
Thank you for sharing your great advice ! It helped me ! Also, most importantly, keeping God and Jesus the priority in our lives, trusting in Jesus & God's plan for us. Be kind to yourself... you DESERVE it ! God's Blessings ALWAYS. 🙏🙏🙏 💚💚💚 ✌️✌️✌️
I totally agree with your list. I thought it was interesting that you identified Toxic Relationships as the trigger. I'm in the same place. Unfortunately, its my new boss that's the issue and I'm too close to retirement to quit and too old to be hired by someone else - feels like being a trapped animal. No way out.
Wow, thank you Scott for summing this up. I am a 58 yo male and suffered almost all of my life under depression until some 10 years ago when i also did a few adjustments and with time and age i realized how one can literally grow & "wise out" of that condition. Alot of what you said i have also resonated with.... I might however have taken it to different levels such as detoxing my environment in dumping things like toxic people and social media - Not watching any "fear porn" news on TV (or dumping TV in general). Getting very physical is an elementary part of improving - I hit the weights 3-4 x a week, go to self defense courses. I gave up smoking & alcohol such as any other drugs i loved to use such as Marijuana .. I started to paint in my idle times at home in the cold season, gave up processed foods and cook everything from scratch... Meditate almost every morning..There`s a lot one can do and i want to encourage anyone out there and say, your fate is not sealed with this situation as long as you find the point to finally lift your ass out of it and do things step by step. Love & good luck to all!!!
Go Scott!! I am WFPB and cook everything too. But I need to stop listening to the horrible violence and depressing reports. living in Chicago doesnt help, it is a nightmare now. I do boot camp 5 days a week at 5:30AM
Just exactly are you supposed to “ get your ass up out of it?” How do you put that first foot forward…. Depression is sooooo heavy sooo hard to lift off me
@@udebou I'm allergic to tough "love" due to childhood abuse so "finally lift your ass" hit me the wrong way (though I appreciate the rest of your comment, @Cl4rendon). *The best advice I've ever heard for how to actually do things while battling depression is to start with whatever DOES seem possible.* If that's bringing a glass of water to your lips, it's a victory. If it's washing one dish, or brushing half your hair, that's a victory. Just like a car crash victim has to heroically rebuild their ability to walk bit by bit over time, we have to start where we are---and give ourselves credit for trying! 🙂🏆 In the worst of one my depressive episodes, it would literally take hours sometimes to will myself just to reach my arm out to take my medication. (One reason #6 keeping healthy food nearby and eating regularly is important----food is literally fuel.) *(When I managed to do ANYTHING that felt hard/was good for me, I would put a token in a container that was in my eye line to remind myself I was capable even when things truly felt impossible.* The token can be a bean, a coin, a piece of paper, etc., but I used rhinestones of different sizes, with bigger ones for the things that FELT the hardest no matter how tiny (like reaching my arm out). Making your immediate environment as helpful as possible has also made a big difference for me (sometimes you may need to ask a friend or pay someone for help with this if already in the thick of a depression). Frozen meals and vegetables & no-cook items like nuts or dried fruit to make it easier to eat. Keeping medication, a carafe of water, and a healthy snack within reach from wherever you are. Moving an exercise machine in front of the TV (I keep mine permanently in my living room now) and hand weights under the coffee table. Removing clutter from my eye line wherever I spend the most time (even if it's boxed up and put in a closet or garage to sort when I feel better) also weirdly helps me take action, especially including anything that subliminally triggers bad emotions (reminders of an ex, a gift from a relative who's been mean, a group photo with someone who's undermined you). ADDING things that are beautiful or make me feel good also helps (a pretty orchid that doesn't need watering often, pictures of people who are reliably kind, reminders of my accomplishments or people I've helped...). *Keeping a Metacognition Journal* for depression (or any recurring challenge : - ) has also helped me enormously. By its nature, depression steals our objectivity while making us THINK we're correct in our negative, hopeless assessments. Having a written record of my own recoveries (added to when I feel BETTER as well as awful) gives me EVIDENCE that it really is a *temporary* illness and that I CAN get through. *Keeping lists of what's helped me in the past* as part of this Metacognition Journal gives me a menu of things I can execute like a robot even when my decision making skills and hope are temporarily offline (e.g. going outside, taking a walk, meeting a friend even if I don't want to, doing something helpful for someone else, doing something to improve my personal space or appearance, etc.). When I feel apathetic and hopeless but am not in a full vegetative depression state, *using distractions like comedy clips or movies to lift my mood and as an immediate reward after doing something productive* also helps. Would love to hear your or anyone else's tips for what helps. Wishing you the best! Big hugs! 😃❤
Serotonin the happy mood chemical is made in the gut.. I didn't know this and have had depression on and off over the years. Then i discovered that i needed to have a healthy gut, ie good intestinal flora , which promotes serotonin, by taking acidophilus capsules . At our mental health centre they warn us against eating foods high in sugar and highly processed food too which can wipe out the good healthy gut bacteria . Also after a course of antibiotics that kill off good as well as bad bacteria , its so important to take acidophilus capsules too. So many people i know over look this basic but vital info
@@rodbarrett1581 So many invisible parameters and so much conflicting information out there. My sense of how tired I am (which I think is a lot in the mornings but I can't compare it to anyone else as I don't know what's normal) has not changed no matter the different diets I tried or other things. But sometimes I will have those rare days I wake up and feel good, but I don't know why. But no holy grail here, no single or multiple ingredients or tricks that does the trick for me.
When you said how sorry you are that we are like this, it was like a dam burst, you made me cry but they were healing tears, that the doctor doesn’t just understand the mechanics but actually KNOWS - you are very special person and I thank you deeply for helping us
It's great to hear that you have recovered and can use that information to help others ! I used to volunteer on a help line and used to hear callers saying "I wish my psychiatrist understood me !"
Your ability to articulate your thoughts so clearly is amazing to say the least. I have struggled most of my life trying to clearly explain and put into words for other people to understand what's happening to me. I am happy for you that got out of your miserable situation.
I suffered severe depression and mental disorder years ago as a teenage. Got diagnosed with ADHD. Spent my whole life fighting ADHD. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
I'm so very happy for you, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
Yes sure of Ali shroom. Mushrooms are very medicinal. This is why anybody familiar with psilocybin and any other kind of fungi will tell you, "They are alive." They have a very ancient wisdom. To my experience, all mushrooms have always said, "Pay attention to your life. How you think, how you feel, and what will you do with the information that you always knew, but now are seeing in this point of view." This is why mushrooms are so respected in tribal cultures. This mental health treatment works for me too. Half micro doses do the trick for me. At least a few days at a time with lengthy time in between. Never addictive. Thank you for sharing this point!
Yes he's Ali shroom. My daughter did straight shrooms in few days. Made her whole! after words, no more addictions, pains, ptsd and depression. It helped us.
I’ve battled depression for 42 years. Antidepressants have saved my life. I can be off them for a few years but then have to take them for a few days to weeks to function and not become psychotic. I was in therapy for 16 years. I had plenty of childhood trauma, was a single parent, suffered divorce and death of a child, alcohol abuse off and on. The challenges never end. I’m in my 70s now and the biggest challenge is overcoming inertia and staying optimistic. Eating well and getting enough sleep are critical. You also have to manage your money well and avoid alcohol and unprescribed drugs. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to live alone and don’t want to think about it.
Wow, Scott, the way you formulate that fantasy worlds trap is uncanny. I am somewhat prone to depression, and often have a hard time explaining to friends/family why I would not watch certain movies, shows etc. They trigger rumination at best, and major depressive episodes at worst. Just as surely as stimulants or alcohol or carbs-heavy/intermittent diet. Many decades ago, I have very painfully discovered these lessons about managing depression myself, by trial and error. It feels great to hear someone who has independently come to the same conclusions. Thank you for sharing your findings for the benefit of those who seem to be wired the same way!
After I considered suicide for the first time while in the forth grade, I've been in and out of counseling for a good chunk of my life, (I'm now 47) with no real solutions or help given that was effective. Your videos have made more sense and have been more effective than anything that I've ever heard any therapist, psychiatrist or psychologist say to date. Words don't exist to express how thankful I am for your willingness to get this information out. God bless.
I've never benefited from "talk therapy" and think most of the practitioners are frauds. It is refreshing to run into "the real deal" like this doc. Perhaps the "product" of schools of psychology are ineffectual. But docs like this one who depart from the academic thought are spot on.
I once had someone who was supposed to be a friend criticize me for being high maintenance...Thanks to You, I now know that that's okay. It's okay to just be wired different. I now feel that I have permission to be myself. You're the first doctor in 23 years who has actually helped me with my bipolar situation. Now I am beginning to gain some perspective and some coping skills! Thank You!!
I CANNOT BELIEVE how you were able to help me with my own depression after watching your video. I am in awe right now! I never looked at my depression as a chronic health condition that needs to be dealt with this way so concisely and matter of fact. I am just realizing that I have never accepted that I have to live with it for the rest of my life. I’ve always hoped it was conditional and that I would be healed from it but wow, I can now accept my fate more graciously now that I have seen how it can be managed. Thank you SO MUCH! from the bottom of my heart.
I have been struggling with depression for 20 years. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD. While ADHD medication has changed my life, I have adopted almost exactly the same principals that you mentioned. I didn’t drink much, but stopped almost all drinking, when I finally realized how detrimental it is for anyone with depression. I think you are spot on with that people with tendency towards depression need to take extra care of themselves. You can’t choose the cards you’re dealt. I would add one more topic: mindfulness. It has done wonders for me. Also cutting down on nearly all digital leisure content and social media. This frees up so much mental space and provides you with more time for true accomplishment.
Similar. My ADHD medication has really helped. I use meth since I was diagnosed with ADHD...self diagnosed...but it's been truly amazing. I'm happier, more productive...and I kinda...well, I'm kinda into the psychosis, to be honest, so....win win.
Thank you man. This vid helped me quite a bit. I can probably actually sleep better knowing this. We can work through it and once you know the WHY you’re messed up, you can start the steps to unmess it.
I appreciate your authenticity and message coming from personal, successful practices and introspection. I've heard these forms of advice over the years (I'm 75), but hearing them all in one place, from a different perspective, and so easy to digest, was extremely worthwhile. You've given me my homework. I'll start with developing healthy sleep habits, because that is what's negatively impacting me the most.
yes that is also very important I did that years ago they are still whine about it and dont understand why I did it explaining was not an option cause they did not understand or did not want to
I'm not into video games but I noticed reality TV shows puts me in a spiral of depression so yep had to cut that out completely! Thanks so much for all your amazing videos!! Me and my 13 yo daughter watch them and we've learned so much in dealing with our own mental health issues ❤
Very relatable. Im in the middle of a very deep depression myself right now and none of my usual tricks have been helping. There's some suggestions here I hadn't considered. I'll give them a try. Thanks for the video.
I am crying with tears of gratitude. Everything you shared has helped me to clean my introspective lens and to forgive myself and significant dear loved ones.
OMG you are a genius! Acute feelings of joy versus doing something worthwhile ❤️ brilliant! Knowing I sang and brought joy to others had me in tears during my most recent meltdown when I realized I needed others to feed my soul instead. But it made it so much easier accepting help and love from others knowing I had given of myself. When I was in office I hated it and spent years depressed and angry about it, but one day I realized it's not about what you do for a living. It's about what kind of person you are. That was a turning point. Eventually because of my own chronic illnesses I went on disability which gave me the option to take care of me I got out of a toxic relationship with someone who didn't understand that I couldn't stay up late after working long hours, etc. so I learned early on the late nights weren't for me. I'm very much like you in every way. For me... it's movies. I get very depressed after a movie where my life didn't compare or compete. I'm okay with murder mysteries. LOL nothing enviable there! Thank you for this my high maintenance kindred spirit ❤
Your description of what it feels like living with chronic depression is so spot-on. It's therapeutic just listening to it has a therapeutic effect in itself.
I really appreciate your words of wisdom. I’m 61 and have had anxiety and depression since I was a kid. Your videos have helped outline, define and treat my symptoms better than any practioner I’ve worked with! ❤
It is so so refreshing to take in all of what you said. I am a 47yo male with a great career, amazing friends and family, an otherwise positive outlook on life yet that depression since I was born will still sometimes show up. I’ve learned to not be afraid of it, not judge it and I remember that it too will pass. It took a long time to get here, a very long time. But everything you said is so spot on. 👍🏼
Never drank alcohol, watch my bedtime but still have days when I don’t want to get up and I just stay in bed. My diet is dreadful and I know I have to change out the sugar for more protein. Can’t remember when I wasn’t depressed, from the early days at boarding school to being married to an alcoholic but had to keep up a brave front for my three children. I’m working with a cognitive therapist and trying to beat all the negative thoughts. I don’t have much time left, at 83 it’s either sink or swim. Thank you for a helpful video.
At 69 it's depressing to hear that as our physical health declines so goes our mental health, or so it seems from the comments. You would hope we could resolve these mental health issues over the decades but the double whammy of physical AND mental deterioration seems to be very prevalent.
You know yourself so well and are so good at managing yourself. This is what I need to do. I was severely depressed when I found you and you have helped me to get out of that. I just wanted to go to sleep forever and you made me aware that I don't know what's on the other side of that. Like I am not going to forever experience the comfort of lying in bed. I'm back and trying now to deal with things.
You are not alone with the last one. Being someone that overcame addiction, I also had to let go of getting lost in fantasy worlds because it was just another form of escapism. Great video!
OMG. I completely understand #6. Either 3 or 4 years ago, I broke down crying in my therapist office because of having to accept that magic is not real. Not that I actually believed it was, more the acceptance of the world I live in, which will never be like the worlds I read about. I’m a 46-year-old woman. Kinda ridiculous. So yes, I understand #6.
The exaggerated response to small triggers is a part of it. I remember being depressed because my favorite politician died or when my favorite sportsman retired or when my favorite actor divorced his wife.
Many years ago I struggled through a miserable depression and suspect it’s still simmering in the depths somewhere. However I watched the video for what I considered to be a situational depression AKA life in 2023. Your 6 tips are quite applicable and I’m going to use all of them, but I’m also going to include the news under fantasy material. What I need is a total social media break too. This has got me actually excited - and I haven’t felt that way in a long time! I’m a new subscriber now - thanks for helping reframe a functional treatment protocol as learning to live a wholesome, healthy, balanced life.
ik u may never see this, but ive never seen anything so accurate to how my life has been, how i feel, and what i need, literally never have i found what im looking for like what you said urself, so thank u for doing the searching for us cuz i finally have hope and ive never been more greatful in my life, thank you
I can't thank you enough for this video. Everything you said resonated with me, especially how "fantasy worlds" affect me. I have always been an avid reader, and books, as well as movies, can often cause me to feel as though I'm "in them." It's very weird, and has been going on since I was a child. I have never told anyone about this. So thank you, thank you, thank you! I am so grateful I found your channel!
I get like that too, that part of this video was so helpful to me. At first getting lost in the fantasy world feels wonderful until you remember you're sitting and watching or reading about a world that isn't real and that you can't be part of. I feel much better when I have good things going on in my real life like groups to be part of, shared hobbies, group volunteering etc rather than just being alone getting lost in a Netflix show.
That’s true. I was thinking about a little series that I saw in the 70’s back in Germany. I found it on u tube and watched every night one episode, sometime two. I felt so connected with the actors and wondered why they did this and that, as if this really happened. I also felt nostalgic, remembering how I lived with my parents back in the day. That got me really really depressed for a day, I was just crying and crying. Sorry, I had to share.
Depression is awful. I’ve had depression on and off since 1997. I try to accept it’s just part of my life and I just have to get through it each time. Still feels horrendous each time
Vigorous exercise every day, 10 mins, that's all. Socialize, that's important and get into work if you can, anything. Those 3 things help a lot. The exercise causes some kind of stuff to circulate in your body that is anti-depression and it is powerful.
I think of depression as a blanket emotion, covering the emotions that we are afraid to face. I imagine lifting the corner of my depression-blanket and noticing what emotion is just underneath. Try to be very specific e.g. I feel guilty and ashamed for being mean to my brother when he was feeling sick. Let yourself feel this emotion even if it hurts a lot but don't generalize and say, "I'm ALWAYS so insensitive to people" or "I'm NEVER nice to my brother." Just think about that specific incident. Then you may like to act on it e.g. by apologizing to your brother or you could just resolve to be nicer in future or you could just forgive yourself. Try not to turn it into something overwhelming. When you feel the painful real emotion, the generalized, energy-sapping depression will evaporate. When it returns, it will be because of another specific emotion that you're not facing up to. Find the right moment and then bravely let that new emotion hurt you and then you can think of the right response, if any is needed.
Thank you for this terrific video, Dr. Eilers. I've been struggling with depression since the death of my husband from alcoholism in March. Your advice about not chasing acute feelings of joy and instead focusing on doing stuff and creating stuff is really resonating with me. The bits of joy I experience tend to be very short-lived, but when I can focus on writing the memoir and handbook for bereaved widows of alcoholics that I'm working on, it's more satisfying and it lasts longer. There's something I can go back to and see that I made progress and am getting closer to what I want to have done. Also the part about not staying up late is good advice. Depression always seems worse late at night so just avoiding being awake in that time is helpful. Thanks again for this video and your previous videos. The fact that you've gone through all this stuff yourself makes a difference.
I'm currently going through a depressive episode and this video is really helpful. I like how you've approached this from a practical angle because often only the emotional side gets looked at. The getting lost in a TV show/fantasy world' jumped out at me because I totally know what you mean - you start watching a show to feel better/less lonely, it works but then your depression worsens as you watch episode after episode and realise you're actually sitting at home alone and your life isn't anything like the characters. I've recently been rewatching Friends on Netflix plus way too many Friends analysis UA-cam videos and have felt so many mixed nostalgic, sad and happy feelings about it. Last night I had a nightmare about it and before clicking on this video was feeling the lowest I've felt in months, then I see you mention it. So thank you for that. I'd never fully made the excessive video watching connection to depression. I'm extremely lonely and isolated due to many painful losses and desperately need to find new groups to join as the loneliness feels like it's killing me sometimes.
Almost 12 months ago I had to unhook the tv. Being depressed I didn't hook it all back up right away . As the months went by I realised how much of my time I spent glued to it (almost all) and how much I resent that. I've returned to playing a musical instrument I abandoned after my teens and I'm loving that. It helps more than anything else, unlike the tv which I now think is really pernicious. I know what you mean about the loneliness. I have a cat which is both a comfort and a painful reminder that he's my only companionship. Modern life may be easier in some respects, but in others it is brutal. Isolation is so damaging. If you have interest in meditation or similar activities that can be a nice social group.
Someone who really understands what I've gone through for my 70 years. I'm sorry others have this life. I do like your ideas on how to get yourself through yet another day. One little thing I do is write the number one and write the one thing I will do the next day. I don't always succeed, but I have a plan from the time I wake up. Thank you for dong this video. It helps knowing that even one person understands.
I think this is the best video over depression I've ever watched. I totally recognize the difference between being totally sober and occasional drinking as well as the difference between long term success vs short term hedonism. When you achieve something it's still with you while hedonistic behavior is not with you anymore, as soon as the effect is gone.
Hey Dr Scott! Thank you for being real and sharing your reality with us. I’m a firefighter/medic with PTSD and ADHD and all that comes with it. It’s great to see other professionals talking about their mental health struggles. I’m in school now to be a Clinical Hypnotherapist. The skills I am learning have been helpful in dealing with my anxiety. I’ve also been sober for 7 months now. I’m proud of you!
@@helenapretorius4435 they fulfill that purpose, but if you ask yourself how do you feel after watching a murder documentary it's never likely to be joyous and happy etc, it's always a chilling negative effect like watching the news
@@shughy1 yes, agreed. It's an escape. When you compare it to watching bad news, that puts a new perspective on it. Thanks for that. You know, I am bothered if I think I couldn't watch them......what the heck is that about??
@@helenapretorius4435 I think it's some kind of addiction to negative emotion, it's real as the amount of channels playing it is insane... I would try replacing the viewing with comedy or anything that leaves you feeling happy, or movies with happy vibes etc... life is stressful enough 😄
All of the above, I can understand. I'm in a severe episode of my MDD and anxiety disorder. I recognized the "fantasy" world you talk about in 2011. I was binge watching Gray's Anatomy and it made me spiral down. That was the first time I realized that I was effected by said "fantasy world." I do have to be mindful of books I choose also. TFS
Greys was one of my big favorites but I can see now how it made my brain used to drama. It's overly emotional and unrealistic. If Alex Karev makes his way into your dreams at night, you have gone overboard with it.
Very powerful. Lost my brother to this. I think I've healed too. Biggest thing for me was to quit drinking and get into therapy. Thank you for describing it the way it affects us.
Thankfulness is truly the key to escaping depression. The world doesn't revolve around me and I'm lucky to be here and alive. Love myself and everyone.
Just discovered this video. I've listened twice because of clear resonance with my experience of my life. I thank you so much for this courage, honestly, effort to help others through sharing how things are and have been for you. I've been too brilliant for my brain-balance to handle. It has gotten me some good places but the general effect has been frustration, feeling alienated from others when really my feelings of alienation were often not actually justifiable. This tremendous frustration and feeling too different. I spent 2 professional careers helping clients. My most rewarding times of peace and calm were when I was connected alone or in a team, helping people. But now I'm retired and that achievement being more durable than joy has been true but has also now kind of worn-off after years of retirement. Anyway, I really just wanted to thank you so much. Yes, being stuck in one's own too-unique mind can be hellish. I've experienced your feelings of hellish suffering. I will now particularly keep your talk in mind with respect to looking after myself....HAVING to look after myself because my brain, too, cannot handle certain apparently 'normal' life experiences. Yes, it's a choice. Congratulations of the choices you've made, and are making. Good man. The world benefits from people like you, very much. KEEP FOLLOWING YOUR STAR.
Timestamps help me study/remember 0:00 Intro (Self-Disclosure) 3:25 Intro (Preamble) 4:40 #1 Drugs and Alcohol (Escapism through Patterns of Abuse) 7:08 #2 Chasing Acute Feelings of Joy (Quick Fixes instead of Long-term Achievements) 9:44 #3 Staying up Late (Behavioural Insomnia) 10:57 Tired Mind = Emotionally Dysregulated Mind + Two Choices 12:42 #4 Restricting Food Intake (Denying your brain the necessary nutrition) 14:18 #5 Allowing yourself to be inactive/isolated indoors (Under-stimulating the Brain) 15:41 #6 Getting Really Invested in Fantasy Worlds (Comparing Real Life to an Unachievable Standard) 15:50 Outro
as a formerly depressed person (still have occasional bad days where I grapple with it), I relate so much to a lot of what you've described here. It took me a while to realize that certain aspects of my lifestyle when I was young, was not doing me any favours...
I no longer watch anything violent that traumatised my nervous system. Discernment ....selective of what l let in. Over stimulated addiction now l am learning to be calmer.
Yes, that absolutely works for many men. But most women are expected to care for and do for others their whole lives whether they are depressed or not. I was depressed and hiding it while I was an elder at my church, ran the food pantry, did meals on wheels and habitat for humanity. No matter how full I tried to make my life, the depression was still there. I've just always been able to hide it from others. Until I can't. Strangely enough, I got better during COVID when everything shut down and there was nothing to do and no one to please or pretend for. That was eye opening for me.
I have never come across a video like this before. It is so simple and direct! I have been suffering and fighting depression for years but during the last three years I realised I had hit rock bottom believing there was no way out. You have described me to me. Thank you for this valuable advice!!!!! 😂 ❤
Dr. Scott, this video grabbed me like no other. Your description of your earlier years, especially college, is a painful reminder of myself😢! I hope to read your book soon and I look forward to all your podcasts. Feeling more gratitude to you than you can imagine. ❤
Wow. This video popped up out of nowhere and I’m so glad I watched it. I’ve struggled with alcohol and depression most of my adult life (I recently turned 64). I’ve been on a serious sober journey for the past 3 1/2 years but have had no luck with permanent sobriety yet. I’ve recently connected my alcohol use to depression so hearing you speak was a life saver. You’ve gained a new follower. I’m anxious to hear more of what you have to say as I’m tired of living this life of ups and downs. Thank you.
Woah, as a 41yr old man you basically just described my life story....that lack of joy feeling when we are really depressed is such a tough thing to go through! I've started martial arts almost 7 months ago and I'm doing pretty well. I do need to get outside more often, everyday. I also started using a SAD lamp for the winter period & I've taken antidepressants for over 20yrs. Thank you so much for sharing your story and giving out some of those tips. I hope we both can find some peace & happiness in our complex minds...🙏👋
Thank you for sharing your story. I've heard anti depressants can affect your libido? Im a 32 year old male and depression has completely destroyed my libido, I fear taking anti depressants will further aggravate that specific situation. Would love to know your reaction
Yes I have to do this, did not realise how much until listening to this video. I am moving forward and I am so glad I found your channel. Thank you so much. 😊
I'd add to stop comparing yourself to others and the belief that the grass is always greener elsewhere. There's no peace of mind until you let go of this.
1. Stopped drugs and alcohol
2. Stopped chasing acute feelings of joy
3. Stopped staying up late
4. Stopped restricting my food intake
5. Stopped allowing myself to be inactive
6. Stopped getting fully invested in fantasy world - tv, videogames etc
Might want to listen - each item is qualified
I do enjoy people doing these but I always wish there were time stamps so I can get straight to them. Maybe that's someone I should do if I remember.
Thanks for the list, but this is not what he lists in the description.
Before people go looking for the description.. it doesn't have time stamps either
Thanks for summarizing. Listening to this was making me depressed.
Well, looks like I’ll be depressed forever then…. 😩 (Thx for listing each habit to stop doing, btw.)
@@DogMom88x As you wish....
For me the worst thing about being depressed _is pretending that I'm not depressed_
Omg yesssss. It takes so much energy to pretend
@@susanportrey3223this is what Jim Carey talks about, saying that being depressed is taking a rest from faking being the character you show the world. I set myself up very early on as the quick witted Chandler type. I was able to stay in chandler mode only through drinking, but eventually that caught up with me and now I can't drink anymore. Trying to still be Chandler is exhausting, but accepting that I get nervous around others and start tripping over my words etc is hard to do, so I keep trying to force this persona, or just stop socialising in order not to.
Good one.
The flip side of this is, when you admit that you are depressed, to not exaggerate this and start saying things like, "I've been depressed every minute of my life." Yes, you may have had a lot of depression, but you have also experienced other emotions and it is helpful to notice them, too, and to have confidence in your level of resilience.
Come on, bro, who cares
Your ability to relate to people because of your own 'broken' parts is why you're the only doctor I subscribe to... you've removed the hierarchy between doctor and patient. Thank you for your work.
Same here
make it a great day. Do Mandel is amazing too
Dr.Mandel
this doc is great with his real
life teachings
I agree. I also subscribe to “Patrick Teahan” and “HealthyGamerGG” for this reason (Patrick has lived experience with childhood trauma and Dr K with gaming addiction and ADHD).
I've had severe, treatment resistant depression and anxiety for 25 years, I'm 44. I have been hospitalised and attempted my life 3 times. I even had ECT. I was on 6 different medications last year too ( 1 was 388 lbs). I was drinking, lots. Eating, lots and staying up night after night trawling social media. I started walking, not far at first, I came off my meds, cut out sugar, cut out booze and in 10 months I lost 210 lbs. i learned a lot about modern stoicism, about being present, and not dwelling on things - and focussing on things I can control, I made my life simpler. Am I cured? No. Do I have a life and feel joy now? Hell Yes. I now have the coping tools to ride out the periods of lowness, rather than catastophis and grab on to food and booze and drugs as crutches... I have to say - this is one of the most important and real vids on this topic you can watch. Well done Doctor Scott Eilers. To all you guys out there - you can tame it and live a life. Do stuff simply, do stuff often. Bless
Are you on antidepressants
Not any more. 16 months ago a weened off... Would never go back on them... even when depressive episodes return; and they have... diet/exercise/logical thinking...and acceptance.
@@DuffMan. was it hard to ween off? I am on Pristiq and I want to get off of it. I think they numb me.
@@gracejones2831 I have gone on and off depression meds for many years. Pristiq was one of them. I am thankful when I can be off them, and I accept that I may need them again in my life. Hope you find what works.
Congratulations to you xxx
I’m 70 and I’ve been depressed since my childhood. I’ve coped and dragged myself through life. I have bright spots, many in fact. The bright spots have kept me alive but now I no longer care if I live or die. I think I’ve stayed alive to not hurt family. I can’t seem to crawl out of the hole. I keep hoping.
🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿
I'm 36 and have been severely depressed for 12 years nothing seems to get better for me, if I'm like this still by the time I hit 50 then I'll most likely end my life
I can relate. ❤
Sending warm hugs 🤗.
I pray you can feel better sometime soon. Try to find Jesus’ love and forgiveness for your life. Doesn’t mean we don’t get sick, but we have God’s protection and strength thru the trials. God bless you 🙏
I am the female version of you. You describe your brain and depression just how I have experienced mine for 55 years. I'm going to try 2 things from your video. 1. Accepting, finally, that my brain is wired differently than others and be ok with that fact. 2. Force myself to get out of my house and go for a walk everyday. I really resonated with you when you said you struggle with feeling like doing nothing and needing to do something.
Also, read Goggins books. They helped me understand the healing power of self-discipline.
1000% resonated with that part too!
Depression is just a very good reminder that there’s something missing within you.
The day you realize what’s missing is the last day you ever experience depression again.
cleanse + nourish = health
This: "I really resonated with you when you said you struggle with feeling like doing nothing and needing to do something." I wrote it down as he said it. I've never been able to actually master this and I struggle with it a lot.
My 2 sons have mental health issues and my wife sees a therapist. I started watching your videos seeking understanding. I shared your videos with my wife and she says you're very relatable. That's high praise. Thanks for what you are doing. It's quality help. Peace
Well done to you… and I say that because some people cannot even generate that… you as a family will collectively benefit. Also nice to see a male give a perspective in a therapeutic setting 😊
Thanks to you for trying to understand, from personal experience it makes a world difference to have who's supposed to love you try to understand and support you :)
Your family is very lucky to have you 🤍
Very compassionate and empathetic of you to care so much about understanding what your wife and sons are dealing with.
Do you accept responsibility for the mess that your family is in?
Unplug from the news and social media. It is ok not to know 24/7 negative news
Did that, and it helped immensely, but not enough by itself.
SM are my last window to people.
I've been off social media for about 4 years now, I don't remember why I decided to get off but the younger me made some good decisions.
Deleted facebook, X (twitter) and my Reddit use is mainly for Cat content, mental health has improved astronomically
💯 💯👍♥️
I love hearing someone else being honest about their struggles. It’s good to know we aren’t alone and we do recover.
I don’t recover, I’ve already accepted a happy and fulfilling life is not in the cards for everyone. It is what it is
Vigorous exercise every day, 10 mins, that's all. Socialize, that's important and get into work if you can, anything. Those 3 things help a lot. The exercise causes some kind of stuff to circulate in your body that is anti-depression and it is powerful.
This is true . I’ll never recover either . I live with it . A lot of people do .
one can and will recover.
Wow. The first doctor I have ever encountered who is one of us. You understand. ❤
I think depression is a completely natural human response to really opening one's eyes to the modern world/society in general and asking some very real questions.
I agree, this is proven by the change in mental state one experiences when people go camping in the wilderness.
I agree
I'm not so sure it's the "modern world" as much as it is just "world" There have been references to "melancholy" and "anhedonia" (I think that goes back to ancient Greeks) since language was created. Some humans (and even other animals) are just biologically predisposed to a certain set-point of happiness and ease of immersion in their environments.
You're right that it is "natural" -- but so are many disabilities that people deal with. This is just another flavor of being in the world having drawn a certain kind of hand to play.
Some depression is probably inevitable but not being able to get out of bed is not !
exactly, hello from France, feeling much better when I'm in nature
Your videos are helping me be more forgiving of the many times over my very busy, high achieving professional career as a professor/writer that I've had to cancel on conferences and workshops I'd been looking forward to....why? Because of mercurial, suddenly-appearing and mind-freezing anxiety attacks and/or instant onset of depressive moments-days that can't always be easily predicted. I've really beaten up on myself for not always being "consistent," and embarrassed that others (event planners, colleagues, etc) will think I'm a flake who doesn't care. I appreciate that your videos help validate that I am someone who like you is high maintenance, complex, and has to struggle through so many ups and downs, and that I'm not the only dedicated, busy and productive professional person experiencing this and most of all, that I'm not the failure I often label myself to be. For all of my high-achieving - which is so important, because as for you, I also find that doing for others, connecting outside myself with others (teaching, giving readings and lectures, etc) is hugely therapeutic and rewarding and brings me joy and uplift even in the darkest moments) - but sometimes I have to unexpectedly and frustratingly step back and focus completely on self-care. Thank you again for your astute, insightful and compassionate video content which I also find so validating and helpful in these short pieces you post - there is so little in our daily lives that speaks to all of this and the struggle can get so lonely. You are building a crucial mental health discourse and schema for so many of us to use in our daily and hourly challenges.
I really appreciate that you don’t edit your videos to be cut so that you make no mistakes and that you don’t even seem to breathe! those videos that are very popular by most content creators, to edit them in such a way that makes them speak fast and error free actually creates a bit of anxiety for me. where your videos are very realistic and comfortable and authentic and I super appreciate the ease and realistic setting you create, feeling like you are right here and we’re having a real conversation. The Content is fantastic and super helpful!
Absolutely!
Piggybacking onto this comment: I also appreciate that your videos don't utilize flashy graphics or stock photos/videos or background music to help "illustrate" your points. I find that stuff distracting and they take away from the message, even if it's a valuable one. I hope you don't ever go that route. Your content is down-to-earth and promotes a positive message that many of us need to hear, especially in these times. Thank you for your podcast!
Hear hear! Malissia, that's a great comment. Also, I've never said "Hear hear" before.🙂
@@DanEngell 😄 is it here here or hear hear? I’ve never used it either. Thanks Dan
@@stacatalina yesss good point! Sometimes videos that have a really great message actually create sensory overload by the way they deliver it.
As an academia / neuroscience inclined depressed person, I really feel so much more at ease to know you succeeded despite depression.
PhD doesn't make a person, I have known doctorate students acting very immature and unhealthy I would even say some get their PhD by wrong means. It depends what is your reason behind pursuing it and what you do after it..
I'm a neuroscientist in academia - it's not easy, but it's very possible to pursue this career. The earlier you establish a strong toolbox for handling your mental health the better.
@@elisal98800 be a neuroscientist
I had a really good, rigid routine going for a solid 3 years that helped me in so many ways to manage my response to my anxiety. But I found that when my stress “bucket” was full, it killed the routine gradually over time, which then caused a domino affect where I lost all the positives that the routine brought to me. Right now, I’m working to get that routine back. It is taking as much work as it did to begin the routine, if not more! I have subscribed to your channel and am now going to search for a video on burnout recovery. I miss my routine. I miss my morning workouts. I miss my confidence and I miss my strength. Thank you for what you do.
I've only just got to see this video today and came across your comment. I truly hope you have recovered in the meantime and have happily got into your routine.
Your comment struck me particularly because, like you I had worked and built up my routine over almost fifteen years.
Like you I was hit by the stress bucket, over a decade ago,due to a succession of life events that shuttered every aspect of my former routine life stability. The difference being that it didn't slowly buck in but it came all at once and in endless ongoing disasters and tragedies that has left me with nothing of what I had before and completely destabilised.
The reason for my reply isn't to play victim but rather to point out that even if I too long share your desires in getting back to my previous healthy and balanced routine, I'm in a position that I can't even imagine how because I don't even have the basement to be able to work up from, let alone the body and mind ageing process which are altogether constantly keeping me in a constant "freeze" zone.
I hope this helps to keep you motivated to restore and maintain your life because no one can love you more than yourself.
Pardon my errors but the message went off before overlooking it. Wishing you all the best.
Physical activity saved me. Though I have a college degree and consider myself an intellectual, my mental health healed when I 1. Quit booze. 2. Started doing physical labor-carpentry, and oil fiels work outside. When I worked as a designer and sales rep I spent most of my time at a desk or on the phone. I was riddled with depression. My ancestors must have been hunters who were on the move all the time. Listen to your body.
I’m 41 with CPTSD and ADHD and feel such anxiety about my office job. I’ma designer and never anticipated that my life would be at a desk. The adhd means I am exhausted, single, no kids, and a life married to my job- that I feel incredibly unfullfilled by.
I wish I had a manual job, like carpentry
What's your degree in?
@ashpash2977 go to a votech. You're not too old. You live in America. Chase your dreams, my friend. Don't give up!!!
@@avertingapathy3052interior architecture.. hoping to study a masters in building conservation
@@mr.mister-Mthank you ! And I live in Ireland / I’m Irish 😂
Wow. Feels like something finally “clicked” for me hearing this. I’ve been spending months watching productivity channels, obsessing about my mental health, feeling “different” and “broken” and suddenly you just put it in a way that makes sense
❤YES !!!❤
Today i am feeling very bad. But I know there will come better days
I hope those better days came and that more of them remained than the really bad days.
Coming out of freeze mode, I realized that while not chasing joy, I also was not achieving the 'must do now's'. This morning I tried to think of a few good times or things that have happened in my life. Every one that came to mind was tinged and overtaken by a connected failure or slight, or rejection. That got me out of bed and to work on my to-do list. Once active, my ruminating and severe anxiety/depression went away. It came back on every break I took. I, too, have been a lifelong sufferer of depression. At my age, my time left is rather short. I am adament that, like you, I find my way to a largely balanced mindset and life.
Nostalgia is one that I’m trying to break myself away from. I get obsessed and it leaves me with an empty hopeless feeling.
Absolutely. Nostalgic feels have been a curse for me. Also loneliness is really really hard.
Nostalgia is a trap, it keeps you in the past. Maybe join a group , get a new hobby, start going to church. I'm 78 and am still working as a draughts person. Keeping busy, exercising, or working is good for your mental health. Getting to know Jesus will be the best thing that you could do. He gives us new life. The worst thing that you can do is live in the past, you'll miss the present and your future . I'm a hermit type person, but I have fought back against it and life is good, being busy and reaching out to God and other people. It is never too late to change habits. You can do it. God bless🤗
Psychedelics did great for me. I'll refer you to my source. They deliver discreetly.
Jostrippy
Totally agree
You failed that psychology class, but all that matters is you got back up again, and look where you are now. You give people hope. That's not a failed person! I wish you could see yourself the way people who watch your videos see you. You are a really important person.
Michael Jordan was cut from the high school basketball team
This is what I thought! Despite the F in the Intro course, he's pushed on, pursued, and still managed to become a qualified psychologist. That's a win to me! 🎉 It's probably doubly impressive managing to do it with chronic feelings of a lack of motivation and mental energy or clarity. 😊
That was so nice
Yeah, the greatest people are those that fail and rise up and try again. Sadly that is much easier said than done...
I have to make these same choices. It is my healthy brain 🧠 diet. My list includes 1. Time in nature. 2. I need to pray regularly 3. I need to reach out to friends and not be a recluse 4. I need music 5. I need to help someone each day. 6. I need to eat healthy food 7. I need to go to bed early and get up early. 8. I need to move. 9. I need to get dressed everyday and look nice. 10. I like to be fresh and clean.
Very good comment🙏
Why is it that we cannot find each other and help each other. That is my question. Look at all the comments on this page. Or maybe depressed people cannot stand depressed people. Who knows.
A very good summary. My garden and pets are the things that keep my base emotional level ok.
After my dearest daughter passed away, I struggled with panic attacks 4Years now. Working in my garden and sketching and painting are both
things that helps.
10 points in a list is a solid number. So please don't blame yourself if you're unable to fulfill every one of them. Even one fulfilled point is an achievement 🙂
Excellent idea. I ll try this too.
Wow, you've just described everything I've been through my entire life. What you have put in this format is something I've discovered through trial & error. I'm 64 years old and it took me a few decades to realize all of the same things. You are 100% right as far as my severe depression disorder. It's so great to hear you describe this & give functional solutions to everyday living. I have to admit that sometimes I stop doing some of those 6 things and yes I fall right back into the darkness of just existing. You've given me a little push today to start paying more attention to those 6 things. Thanks so much.
It’s 71 and have been treated for depression and anxiety since I was 30. I have been on pretty much every medication and even ECT. It’s treatment resistant and I can relate to the feeling of just existing and even passive suicide feelings at times. There’s an urgent need to study effective elderly depression treatment.
I'm 68 and still having trouble with that 6th choice, the attraction to fantasy worlds. I have a rationale for it though as I am in a period of transition without as much agency as I will have later. But I will have to face it then. I knew it as a problem, but Dr. Scott Eiler's analysis I think may be useful when I decide to buckle down on that one.
Me too.
Same here.@@bethb.6813
I can honestly relate...
7. Stop watching the news.
I dumped my TV 25 years ago for that reason. I have never looked back. I actually don’t know how to operate a digital TV!
Yep 👍 I actually couldn't figure out to use a tv when I recently visited family, and I was trying to turn on cartoons for my nephews haha @@greghayes9118
Stop working in the news business.
My psychiatrist told me to limit my news to 20 minutes of a reliable source.
I said, "You're assuming there *is* a reliable source."
Please keep watching the news - but watch responsible new services that tell the truth. You can then feel glad that someone has worked hard, and often in difficult circumstances, to bring you that information, and you can know that just spreading that news has a good effect, putting pressure on everyone to behave better.
Not being able to talk to anyone on a daily basis is definitely contributing factor to depression after a long winded grief of too many deaths.
Agree..
You hit the nail on the head when you talked about not wanting to do anything, but not wanting to do nothing either. This happens to me every day, and as you say, is super frustrating.
Same here. I have learn though that deciding and building up the courage to venture out I in most cases feel much better having done so than if I had stayed home. Most have to be in the company of others just for validation but I just don't rely on just that. I sometimes just go to the park for a walk listening to my music on Bluetooth..
@@darnellanders8768I’m the same. Getting out of the door is the hardest part. I think it all stems from anxiety, and a fear of just sitting still with my thoughts. Alone with my thoughts is not good sometimes.
Yes! That's it! The same with me
@@TwelveBravo And mind U there is a saying that if one doesn't enjoy their own company then how can one expect others too?? To calm your thoughts U must realize that it's okay to not need validation from others rather its people places and or things to know that U exist and in knowing that U exist for the very reason God created U. I know folks who are addicted to people places and things.. Not a good thing at all. Because as U know all good things and bad things will come to a end.. And if U are not more grounded in God when they occur the sting will hurt that much more.. With all the corrupted and vile things going on in the world it's no wonder we have more fear and anxiety but we can't allow that to rule us keeping us in fear of our very being to the point of not venturing out becoming a hermit. We now just need to be more aware of our surroundings while out and about. To spite some folks and their flaws the world has such beauty to explore .. The beauty of nature is unconditional.. Never take it for granted.. We have access to it everyday..
sometimes, we have to force ourselves to get out and do something.
It is healthy for us and we feel better for doing so.
Staying active, accomplishing things (even the most simple things), exercising and being outdoors will work wonders !
Stay strong.
God's Blessings ALWAYS.
🙏🙏🙏
💚💚💚
✌️✌️✌️
Thank you 🙏. I’m a 56 yr old woman who is beyond crippling loneliness and all my time is spent helping others. I phoned the Samaritan yesterday and hung up as I felt so so ashamed . I think people usually assume middle aged women have someone to talk to. Thank you for these tips that help you through
No. Most middle aged women don't have friends. We've all spent the last 20 plus years looking after kids, home and men and ignoring our own needs wants and desires in the mean time. There are zero community activities geared towards women, gone are the women's auxiliaries and the quilting clubs, so yes tons of middle aged women are lonely. I have found that if you can find a fabric store or local craft store in your area, most have get together days...our local needle point shop does...also volunteering helps get you with people, community gardens, if you are religious churches and temples are a good place to start too. Also get together with some older women. I sew every Thursday with ladies 20 years older than me, they are fun. Good luck, big internet hug. Hang in there
68 and in the same boat. I agree with the other reply. Honestly I have no idea how to flow up and see replies after I send them but wish I could.followntgis thread.
@@docrob5320thank you. I am in the same situation only also divorced which was due to my poor thinking and depression. I was desperate. I am trying to find a way to stay alive and not suicidal all the time. There only fabric stores left are the corporate craft store, JoAnne. I made every mistake possible in attempting to improve my depression and loneliness. I can't undue any of it. This is life.
I don't have any proper friends - I don't get lonely - I am quite happy pottering about by myself - but people try to make me feel guilty and weird - and try to get me involved in stuff which find so uncomfortable.
Sending you connection and my peace to you.
I can’t believe you described my life…. 100% day in & day out…
No joy
No happiness
No friends/family
No inner peace
No God given talents or abilities
No focus
No strength
No hope
Same here
I’m praying for you
Same here. Sick of it. Trying all manner of things at the moment
Great list! My life for 70 years!
This is me too..
Dr. Scott is BY FAR the best person or channel on UA-cam- he feels like one of the ONLY ones actually bringing hope to the hopeless! I'm a single Mom and implementing his simple to understand strategies have helped me more than any therapy or medication over many years. He makes changing seem possible, he understands the difference between depression and being or seeming "lazy" at certain times- I'm not a lazy person at all but I do have periods I feel very shut down and this causes shame spirals where I get SO upset with myself. I really hope Dr. Scott realizes how much he's helping so many of us that find him SO DIFFERENT than anyone else in this space and just in general! And he's also honest that there's no magic fix, but that we can slowly, little by little, change our mindset and change our lives. Plus he's just so fun to look at and Listen to!!! All my Love, admiration, and gratitude to you Dr. Scott!! PLEASE keep doing what you're doing! And listening to your own journey and experience in this video helped so much, I will start using these new tips starting tomorrow. Literally the best channel on UA-cam, I've told all my friends and family to subscribe and watch! ❤️🥰💖
❤️❤️❤️❤️
You have given me a lot to think about today. I struggled with my first episode of depression when I was 14 and our family moved to a new state, the second was a bad marriage. Decades and many traumatic experiences later I'm in the worst depression I have ever been in. I'm never hungry and nothing is "delicious" anymore so I don't eat well. When you mentioned eating habits it woke me up. That's the first thing I have to tackle! I have to eat well, consistently, then I will have a more stable foundation to implement the other 5 steps. Thank you!
By your sharing and hanging on, you inspire me. I try to remember "this too shall pass." Let us both hope it passes quickly! 🤠
@@dngrwllrbnsn_ 👍🏻💪🏼
I'll go several days when my appetite is almost non existent, but then I'll be back to normal appetite for a while.
God bless, maybe this earth is a boot camp?
Thank you for helping me make sense of my very broken world. I am 50. I've been fighting depression since I was 19. Lost my husband of 20 years in May of 2021. About 90% of my time is in a swirling black hole of suck. 9% is flatlined but I get 1% of daily laughter in there and I'm working on raising it to 2%. Thank you for making enough sense that I listen to your whole video. Whichever one I may stumble across. Please keep at it and thank you.
Sorry for your loss. Such "departures" are really really bad for us depressed people. Yuck! My fiancee in China was in a serious car accident a month ago and I have not heard ANYTHING from her since. In a very unusual way I learned of the accident and I did get a photo of her in the destroyed car being extricated by a rescue worker,. So I know the accident is real and she was alive at least immediately afterwards. This has totally stopped me in my tracks! I've dealt with lost friends and relatives. But a missing fiancee? Yeah, I like what you said, "...swirling black hole of suck."
🙏🙏🙏 there is a wonderful future Paradise, when your husband will be resurrected & you will find Joy. (Revelation 21 : 3 - 6) 🌴
I'm 52 and in the same situation.....the fear can overwhelm me. I wish you peace and wellness.@@unsocialbutterfly5760
I'm so sorry to hear this. I wish you peace and well-being.
Depression is like a dark emotion that goes on stage, grabs and dominates the microphone, and stops any other emotion from having a voice...
I think that depression is a murky emotion which discourages us from thinking clearly. Instead of avoiding the topic, we should go past the generalized feeling and ask specific questions about what is bothering us. Are you angry? disappointed? hurt? and what exactly happened that mattered to you? Can you do some small thing to improve the situation? Or is it a matter of facing up to a difficult fact? e.g. yes, you didn't get that job but maybe you didn't prepare enough for the interview or maybe you did but someone else just got the job. Instead of generalizing and saying "Nothing ever goes right for me," we should be specific and say, "OK, I missed out on the last 6 jobs I applied for but that happens to a lot of job seekers. I'll just have to try to be tough and persistent - or even get some advice about job searching." Please talk stuff over with someone who is likely to give you constructive help.
That is so heartbreakingly accurate. Brought me to tears.
That's cute, but ultimately wrong. Depression is a cluster of emotions that screams without a voice.
You are the only person that describes what I have been going through my whole life. Thank you so much for sharing. Like you, when I’m depressed I have to do something productive. I have stopped social media or kept it to a minimum. I looked at other people’s lives then I felt so defeated. I’m in the process of making my own family by choosing who I let into my life. It’s an ongoing process!
Don’t compare your insides to others outside. It’s a loss every time. We am do it. That’s who I am commenting
Having ADHD with emotional dysregulation, I can relate to all of this. And your number 6 isn't weird at all. I don't watch TV or play videogames as much either, especially episodic TV. I don't like to be emotionally invested in fictional characters long term. I like movies. And I was telling myself this week that I need to use things that I can achieve as a dopamine booster rather than resorting to youtube and the like. Thank you for sharing. I truly appreciate it.
I'm 67 and I'm sure I was born with depression, I've only worked this out recently and why I think this is because looking back over my life I've never felt real happiness like I see other people enjoying their life . There isn't any photo's of myself smiling, you see children laughing, happy over nothing but that was never me, and all my life I felt cheated of not having that , could never understand what is wrong with me 😢 I did eventually find some joy in my children, my pets but also a deep sadness when it ended ( Children become adults, pets die ) I am a very compassionate person and feel genuinely for others who suffer and especially animals therefore I am constantly saddened easily and it is a real struggle to always having to be me and not being able to change that . Thank you for your kindness and helping those who so desperately need someone who really, truly understands 💜
Same here 😪
@@dewdrops9253 💜
Same l remember being at school when l was about 8 all l did was cry every day in the playground one day l didn't cry but the next started all over again now l am on medication 65 years old live on my own
@@jupitorman 💜
Same, but I realized that I was phsychologicaly abused by my parents my entire childhood. Must clean out the toxic people from your life.
It is this combination of infinite kindness and utmost understanding and at the same time toughness and determination that makes your content so wonderfully effective, thank you very much for that. Best regards from Berlin, Germany
Talking about your past struggles is a major goal for continuous self care. Thank you for sharing your story.
Here are some of the things I do to help when I am having a depressive episode (in addition to what you already mentioned in your video). 1) avoid silence. I make sure there is music playing or an audiobook so that my own skull chatter has to compete with it for its soapbox. 2) to help with sleeping, especially when I cannot quiet my mind, I *listen* to a movie I have seen a hundred times before. I have a few favorites. I would be willing to bet that many people have a few favorites they have seen many, many times. I listen to it while I am trying to go to sleep, but I don't watch it. It must be dark so I either cover the screen or let it run in another room and use a remote speaker where I sleep. Then I try to visualize the movie while I hear it. It pushes out disturbing thoughts because it takes a lot of my brain to see the movie in my mind. Seeing images in my mind is very close to the sleep state and getting to sleep from there is much easier. 3) I try to find something creative to do when I am awake and not working. Not a video game or any kind of *participative experience*. It has to be something creative like pour painting, 3D modeling and printing , writing or woodworking. It can be hard to bring myself to do it when I am depressed, but it is helpful when I can. This is related to your idea of accomplishments vs, joy-seeking. 4) Do something nice for someone else. Sometimes I don't like myself enough to do something nice for myself, but I still want to help others, and that feels good. I can see in their eyes (or imagine it if I can't see their eyes) that they appreciate me and sometimes that rubs off on me.
These are such great tips. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your discoveries.
Wow, thank you for sharing the tips. I'm definitely going to use the movie tip.
WOW this is really precious; thank you so much for posting this!
Do you know Pema Chedrön? I recommend her meditation workshops / audios. Making peace with your mind helps you accept silence and vice versa. My journey to healing started when I could just listen to the silence and be an observer of my mind instead of judging these things. So, maybe it makes really sense to avoid silence, but avoiding yourself and your own mind could be the downside of it. Personally I couldnt stand silence half of my life, always distracting me from myself, the journey to yourself also begins in silence (which maybe comes with some pain). So interesting...
you can adjust the brightness on tvs and laptops, i do the same and turn it to complete darkness!
I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression disorders. I tried Everything!! The thing that has helped me the most is learning how to sit with it. Then encouraging myself to do things. I seriously had to learn to sit with myself first. I didn’t die.😊
This is similar to a method in self-help: Accept and redirect. You acknowledge that you have a feeling/experience of something you don't like and accept it in a neutral position. Then, as the feeling/experience fades, you direct your focus to something desirable and productive.
@@tamcon72 Exactly Right. Most people have trouble with acceptance. It’s never easy.
You didn't try everything, now, did you? Did you try methamphetamine? Works for me! The quicker-picker-upper...it ain't Bounty paper towels, if ya catch my drift and I think you do!
Trust me, you don't have depression, you have defeated depression
@@datroof2262 what a stupid thing to say ...
I feel ya. 62, retired, chronic depression and anxiety forever. It's a struggle to manage and some days it all goes south and I cry and wish I could die. Those are deep self care days ❤
I`ve been battling depression & anxiety for about 15 years and had some really dark episodes where I thought there was no reason to live anymore (last one 2 years ago) but lately, I`ve been working intensely on my mental health. I`ve changed my lifestyle quite a bit and things that have been most beneficial to me are:
- having a healthy environment (living close to nature and spending as much time as possible outside)
- having healthy habits: meditation, joga, mindfulness, journaling, reading, rest,...
- living authentically to my dreams and desires - following my values and interests
- ending toxic relationships (that triggered my depression)
- learning about psychology, mental health & mentality
- healing unhealthy patterns, traumas, triggers
hope this is helpful for anyone, sending you much love!
Thanks. I am in the similar situation for 2, 3 years now. I think being in a toxic relationship started to cause my situation
Thank you for sharing your great
advice !
It helped me !
Also, most importantly, keeping God and Jesus the priority in our lives, trusting in Jesus & God's plan for us.
Be kind to yourself... you DESERVE it !
God's Blessings ALWAYS.
🙏🙏🙏
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✌️✌️✌️
Thank you for that. There are some really great ideas there. I will definitely try. ❤
Take 4,000 units of Vitamin D3 daily with Vitamin K2 M7. Also, Magnesium Malate. It erases depression.
I totally agree with your list. I thought it was interesting that you identified Toxic Relationships as the trigger. I'm in the same place. Unfortunately, its my new boss that's the issue and I'm too close to retirement to quit and too old to be hired by someone else - feels like being a trapped animal. No way out.
You do an incredibly spot on description of the torture of chronic profound depression!
Wow, thank you Scott for summing this up.
I am a 58 yo male and suffered almost all of my life under depression until some 10 years ago when i also did a few adjustments and with time and age i realized how one can literally grow & "wise out" of that condition. Alot of what you said i have also resonated with.... I might however have taken it to different levels such as detoxing my environment in dumping things like toxic people and social media - Not watching any "fear porn" news on TV (or dumping TV in general).
Getting very physical is an elementary part of improving - I hit the weights 3-4 x a week, go to self defense courses. I gave up smoking & alcohol such as any other drugs i loved to use such as Marijuana .. I started to paint in my idle times at home in the cold season, gave up processed foods and cook everything from scratch... Meditate almost every morning..There`s a lot one can do and i want to encourage anyone out there and say, your fate is not sealed with this situation as long as you find the point to finally lift your ass out of it and do things step by step. Love & good luck to all!!!
Go Scott!! I am WFPB and cook everything too. But I need to stop listening to the horrible violence and depressing reports. living in Chicago doesnt help, it is a nightmare now. I do boot camp 5 days a week at 5:30AM
@JC-du6sn stop peddling here.
Just exactly are you supposed to “ get your ass up out of it?” How do you put that first foot forward…. Depression is sooooo heavy sooo hard to lift off me
@@udebou I'm allergic to tough "love" due to childhood abuse so "finally lift your ass" hit me the wrong way (though I appreciate the rest of your comment, @Cl4rendon). *The best advice I've ever heard for how to actually do things while battling depression is to start with whatever DOES seem possible.* If that's bringing a glass of water to your lips, it's a victory. If it's washing one dish, or brushing half your hair, that's a victory. Just like a car crash victim has to heroically rebuild their ability to walk bit by bit over time, we have to start where we are---and give ourselves credit for trying! 🙂🏆
In the worst of one my depressive episodes, it would literally take hours sometimes to will myself just to reach my arm out to take my medication. (One reason #6 keeping healthy food nearby and eating regularly is important----food is literally fuel.) *(When I managed to do ANYTHING that felt hard/was good for me, I would put a token in a container that was in my eye line to remind myself I was capable even when things truly felt impossible.* The token can be a bean, a coin, a piece of paper, etc., but I used rhinestones of different sizes, with bigger ones for the things that FELT the hardest no matter how tiny (like reaching my arm out).
Making your immediate environment as helpful as possible has also made a big difference for me (sometimes you may need to ask a friend or pay someone for help with this if already in the thick of a depression). Frozen meals and vegetables & no-cook items like nuts or dried fruit to make it easier to eat. Keeping medication, a carafe of water, and a healthy snack within reach from wherever you are. Moving an exercise machine in front of the TV (I keep mine permanently in my living room now) and hand weights under the coffee table.
Removing clutter from my eye line wherever I spend the most time (even if it's boxed up and put in a closet or garage to sort when I feel better) also weirdly helps me take action, especially including anything that subliminally triggers bad emotions (reminders of an ex, a gift from a relative who's been mean, a group photo with someone who's undermined you). ADDING things that are beautiful or make me feel good also helps (a pretty orchid that doesn't need watering often, pictures of people who are reliably kind, reminders of my accomplishments or people I've helped...).
*Keeping a Metacognition Journal* for depression (or any recurring challenge : - ) has also helped me enormously. By its nature, depression steals our objectivity while making us THINK we're correct in our negative, hopeless assessments. Having a written record of my own recoveries (added to when I feel BETTER as well as awful) gives me EVIDENCE that it really is a *temporary* illness and that I CAN get through.
*Keeping lists of what's helped me in the past* as part of this Metacognition Journal gives me a menu of things I can execute like a robot even when my decision making skills and hope are temporarily offline (e.g. going outside, taking a walk, meeting a friend even if I don't want to, doing something helpful for someone else, doing something to improve my personal space or appearance, etc.). When I feel apathetic and hopeless but am not in a full vegetative depression state, *using distractions like comedy clips or movies to lift my mood and as an immediate reward after doing something productive* also helps.
Would love to hear your or anyone else's tips for what helps. Wishing you the best! Big hugs! 😃❤
Serotonin the happy mood chemical is made in the gut..
I didn't know this and have had depression on and off over the years. Then i discovered that i needed to have a healthy gut, ie good intestinal flora , which promotes serotonin, by taking acidophilus capsules . At our mental health centre they warn us against eating foods high in sugar and highly processed food too which can wipe out the good healthy gut bacteria . Also after a course of antibiotics that kill off good as well as bad bacteria , its so important to take acidophilus capsules too.
So many people i know over look this basic but vital info
My nutrition is on point and has been for years. But has not changed anything.
@@rodbarrett1581 So many invisible parameters and so much conflicting information out there. My sense of how tired I am (which I think is a lot in the mornings but I can't compare it to anyone else as I don't know what's normal) has not changed no matter the different diets I tried or other things. But sometimes I will have those rare days I wake up and feel good, but I don't know why. But no holy grail here, no single or multiple ingredients or tricks that does the trick for me.
Can one take acidophilus on a daily basis?
Yes
When you said how sorry you are that we are like this, it was like a dam burst, you made me cry but they were healing tears, that the doctor doesn’t just understand the mechanics but actually KNOWS - you are very special person and I thank you deeply for helping us
It's great to hear that you have recovered and can use that information to help others !
I used to volunteer on a help line and used to hear callers saying "I wish my psychiatrist understood me !"
Your ability to articulate your thoughts so clearly is amazing to say the least. I have struggled most of my life trying to clearly explain and put into words for other people to understand what's happening to me. I am happy for you that got out of your miserable situation.
I really appreciate that. You have a great channel as well! I love playing Pokémon with my
Son
@@DrScottEilers Awesome 👍😎
I suffered severe depression and mental disorder years ago as a teenage. Got diagnosed with ADHD. Spent my whole life fighting ADHD. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
I'm so very happy for you, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
Yes sure of Ali shroom. Mushrooms are very medicinal. This is why anybody familiar with psilocybin and any other kind of fungi will tell you, "They are alive." They have a very ancient wisdom. To my experience, all mushrooms have always said, "Pay attention to your life. How you think, how you feel, and what will you do with the information that you always knew, but now are seeing in this point of view." This is why mushrooms are so respected in tribal cultures. This mental health treatment works for me too. Half micro doses do the trick for me. At least a few days at a time with lengthy time in between. Never addictive. Thank you for sharing this point!
How do I reach out to him? Is he on Facebook
Yes he's Ali shroom. My daughter did straight shrooms in few days. Made her whole! after words, no more addictions, pains, ptsd and depression. It helped us.
I’ve battled depression for 42 years. Antidepressants have saved my life. I can be off them for a few years but then have to take them for a few days to weeks to function and not become psychotic. I was in therapy for 16 years. I had plenty of childhood trauma, was a single parent, suffered divorce and death of a child, alcohol abuse off and on. The challenges never end. I’m in my 70s now and the biggest challenge is overcoming inertia and staying optimistic. Eating well and getting enough sleep are critical. You also have to manage your money well and avoid alcohol and unprescribed drugs. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to live alone and don’t want to think about it.
Thank you for sharing. I'm 55 and have severe depression, depersonalisation, anxiety to name a few. Life is very hard. I send you my best❤🙏
Jesus loves you and cares about you.
Thank you for sharing your story it helps so much and know that you matter because look how your comment has helped ❤
@@clr1121 ☺️🙏
Thank you for sharing, you saved so many life by your testimony
Wow, Scott, the way you formulate that fantasy worlds trap is uncanny. I am somewhat prone to depression, and often have a hard time explaining to friends/family why I would not watch certain movies, shows etc. They trigger rumination at best, and major depressive episodes at worst. Just as surely as stimulants or alcohol or carbs-heavy/intermittent diet.
Many decades ago, I have very painfully discovered these lessons about managing depression myself, by trial and error. It feels great to hear someone who has independently come to the same conclusions. Thank you for sharing your findings for the benefit of those who seem to be wired the same way!
After I considered suicide for the first time while in the forth grade, I've been in and out of counseling for a good chunk of my life, (I'm now 47) with no real solutions or help given that was effective. Your videos have made more sense and have been more effective than anything that I've ever heard any therapist, psychiatrist or psychologist say to date. Words don't exist to express how thankful I am for your willingness to get this information out. God bless.
I feel exactly the same way x
I've never benefited from "talk therapy" and think most of the practitioners are frauds. It is refreshing to run into "the real deal" like this doc. Perhaps the "product" of schools of psychology are ineffectual. But docs like this one who depart from the academic thought are spot on.
Try looking up Micheal yapko, video how to recover from depression. It addresses exactly what you are talking about
Something had to have happened to you that you didn't deserve to want to die at age 9, yes or no? I can relate, I was considering suicide at age 11.
@@danab172 I'm glad you are still with us!
I once had someone who was supposed to be a friend criticize me for being high maintenance...Thanks to You, I now know that that's okay. It's okay to just be wired different. I now feel that I have permission to be myself. You're the first doctor in 23 years who has actually helped me with my bipolar situation. Now I am beginning to gain some perspective and some coping skills! Thank You!!
Thank you Scott for this very personal and powerful video. I’m a therapist and will share this with several of my clients. Continued success.
I CANNOT BELIEVE how you were able to help me with my own depression after watching your video. I am in awe right now! I never looked at my depression as a chronic health condition that needs to be dealt with this way so concisely and matter of fact. I am just realizing that I have never accepted that I have to live with it for the rest of my life. I’ve always hoped it was conditional and that I would be healed from it but wow, I can now accept my fate more graciously now that I have seen how it can be managed. Thank you SO MUCH! from the bottom of my heart.
I’m so glad it was helpful ❤️
Please don't. It's not true. Silent prayer works.
Anyone can be Imago Viva Dei; treat others with kindness and agapeic love. This is mental health!@@annwethenorth
Scott has a mental + emotional cathexis - which is what mental health is!
@@annwethenorthGo away anne
I have been struggling with depression for 20 years. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD. While ADHD medication has changed my life, I have adopted almost exactly the same principals that you mentioned. I didn’t drink much, but stopped almost all drinking, when I finally realized how detrimental it is for anyone with depression. I think you are spot on with that people with tendency towards depression need to take extra care of themselves. You can’t choose the cards you’re dealt. I would add one more topic: mindfulness. It has done wonders for me. Also cutting down on nearly all digital leisure content and social media. This frees up so much mental space and provides you with more time for true accomplishment.
Thanks for this comment, I’m the exact same.
are you comfortable saying what meds?
@@dragapro I started with Concerta and am now trying Vyvanse/Elvanse. Both meds have a tremendous assistance in me getting my life in order.
Similar. My ADHD medication has really helped. I use meth since I was diagnosed with ADHD...self diagnosed...but it's been truly amazing. I'm happier, more productive...and I kinda...well, I'm kinda into the psychosis, to be honest, so....win win.
Thank you man. This vid helped me quite a bit. I can probably actually sleep better knowing this. We can work through it and once you know the WHY you’re messed up, you can start the steps to unmess it.
I appreciate your authenticity and message coming from personal, successful practices and introspection. I've heard these forms of advice over the years (I'm 75), but hearing them all in one place, from a different perspective, and so easy to digest, was extremely worthwhile. You've given me my homework. I'll start with developing healthy sleep habits, because that is what's negatively impacting me the most.
A few extra points I would like to add to your list:
Avoid watching the news;
Avoid toxic people or toxic relationships.
yes that is also very important I did that years ago they are still whine about it and dont understand why I did it explaining was not an option cause they did not understand or did not want to
Social media should also be avoided
I can second this, following the war in Ukraine 24/7 on various news channels affected my mood late at night I realised
Toxic people and relationships are comparable to having an anchor around your neck.
@@wakeuptoreality20231I haven't logged on fb for about 8 years haha
I'm not into video games but I noticed reality TV shows puts me in a spiral of depression so yep had to cut that out completely! Thanks so much for all your amazing videos!! Me and my 13 yo daughter watch them and we've learned so much in dealing with our own mental health issues ❤
Very relatable. Im in the middle of a very deep depression myself right now and none of my usual tricks have been helping.
There's some suggestions here I hadn't considered. I'll give them a try. Thanks for the video.
I am crying with tears of gratitude. Everything you shared has helped me to clean my introspective lens and to forgive myself and significant dear loved ones.
I really appreciate you sharing this ❤️
OMG you are a genius! Acute feelings of joy versus doing something worthwhile ❤️ brilliant! Knowing I sang and brought joy to others had me in tears during my most recent meltdown when I realized I needed others to feed my soul instead. But it made it so much easier accepting help and love from others knowing I had given of myself.
When I was in office I hated it and spent years depressed and angry about it, but one day I realized it's not about what you do for a living. It's about what kind of person you are. That was a turning point. Eventually because of my own chronic illnesses I went on disability which gave me the option to take care of me
I got out of a toxic relationship with someone who didn't understand that I couldn't stay up late after working long hours, etc. so I learned early on the late nights weren't for me.
I'm very much like you in every way. For me... it's movies. I get very depressed after a movie where my life didn't compare or compete. I'm okay with murder mysteries. LOL nothing enviable there!
Thank you for this my high maintenance kindred spirit ❤
Your description of what it feels like living with chronic depression is so spot-on. It's therapeutic just listening to it has a therapeutic effect in itself.
I really appreciate your words of wisdom. I’m 61 and have had anxiety and depression since I was a kid. Your videos have helped outline, define and treat my symptoms better than any practioner I’ve worked with! ❤
It is so so refreshing to take in all of what you said. I am a 47yo male with a great career, amazing friends and family, an otherwise positive outlook on life yet that depression since I was born will still sometimes show up. I’ve learned to not be afraid of it, not judge it and I remember that it too will pass. It took a long time to get here, a very long time. But everything you said is so spot on. 👍🏼
Yep that’s pretty much my approach. “Oh, it’s you again. I’m glad you won’t be staying long this time.”
You're amazing!
I feel the exact same
Never drank alcohol, watch my bedtime but still have days when I don’t want to get up and I just stay in bed. My diet is dreadful and I know I have to change out the sugar for more protein. Can’t remember when I wasn’t depressed, from the early days at boarding school to being married to an alcoholic but had to keep up a brave front for my three children. I’m working with a cognitive therapist and trying to beat all the negative thoughts. I don’t have much time left, at 83 it’s either sink or swim. Thank you for a helpful video.
At 69 it's depressing to hear that as our physical health declines so goes our mental health, or so it seems from the comments. You would hope we could resolve these mental health issues over the decades but the double whammy of physical AND mental deterioration seems to be very prevalent.
Good to hear advice from someone who feels like I do--not just "feeling depressed", but living with depression.
Thank you so much for this wake up call. Im perpetuating my own depression. Im stuck by my own actions. I need to start trying to do the hard stuff.
You know yourself so well and are so good at managing yourself. This is what I need to do. I was severely depressed when I found you and you have helped me to get out of that. I just wanted to go to sleep forever and you made me aware that I don't know what's on the other side of that. Like I am not going to forever experience the comfort of lying in bed. I'm back and trying now to deal with things.
You are not alone with the last one. Being someone that overcame addiction, I also had to let go of getting lost in fantasy worlds because it was just another form of escapism. Great video!
Also any time spent in that world takes time away from solving your problems in the real one- the one that actually matters
OMG. I completely understand #6. Either 3 or 4 years ago, I broke down crying in my therapist office because of having to accept that magic is not real. Not that I actually believed it was, more the acceptance of the world I live in, which will never be like the worlds I read about.
I’m a 46-year-old woman. Kinda ridiculous. So yes, I understand #6.
The exaggerated response to small triggers is a part of it. I remember being depressed because my favorite politician died or when my favorite sportsman retired or when my favorite actor divorced his wife.
Most people believe in magic. They just call it prayer, miracles, blah blah blah. Don't beat yourself down.
Dear lord Thank-you for sharing this. It is going to be a baseline for me to fall back to each time I lose my compass. Thank you!
Many years ago I struggled through a miserable depression and suspect it’s still simmering in the depths somewhere. However I watched the video for what I considered to be a situational depression AKA life in 2023. Your 6 tips are quite applicable and I’m going to use all of them, but I’m also going to include the news under fantasy material. What I need is a total social media break too. This has got me actually excited - and I haven’t felt that way in a long time! I’m a new subscriber now - thanks for helping reframe a functional treatment protocol as learning to live a wholesome, healthy, balanced life.
ik u may never see this, but ive never seen anything so accurate to how my life has been, how i feel, and what i need, literally never have i found what im looking for like what you said urself, so thank u for doing the searching for us cuz i finally have hope and ive never been more greatful in my life, thank you
I can't thank you enough for this video. Everything you said resonated with me, especially how "fantasy worlds" affect me. I have always been an avid reader, and books, as well as movies, can often cause me to feel as though I'm "in them." It's very weird, and has been going on since I was a child. I have never told anyone about this. So thank you, thank you, thank you! I am so grateful I found your channel!
I get like that too, that part of this video was so helpful to me. At first getting lost in the fantasy world feels wonderful until you remember you're sitting and watching or reading about a world that isn't real and that you can't be part of. I feel much better when I have good things going on in my real life like groups to be part of, shared hobbies, group volunteering etc rather than just being alone getting lost in a Netflix show.
That’s true. I was thinking about a little series that I saw in the 70’s back in Germany. I found it on u tube and watched every night one episode, sometime two. I felt so connected with the actors and wondered why they did this and that, as if this really happened. I also felt nostalgic, remembering how I lived with my parents back in the day. That got me really really depressed for a day, I was just crying and crying. Sorry, I had to share.
Depression is awful. I’ve had depression on and off since 1997. I try to accept it’s just part of my life and I just have to get through it each time. Still feels horrendous each time
Vigorous exercise every day, 10 mins, that's all. Socialize, that's important and get into work if you can, anything. Those 3 things help a lot. The exercise causes some kind of stuff to circulate in your body that is anti-depression and it is powerful.
I think of depression as a blanket emotion, covering the emotions that we are afraid to face. I imagine lifting the corner of my depression-blanket and noticing what emotion is just underneath. Try to be very specific e.g. I feel guilty and ashamed for being mean to my brother when he was feeling sick. Let yourself feel this emotion even if it hurts a lot but don't generalize and say, "I'm ALWAYS so insensitive to people" or "I'm NEVER nice to my brother." Just think about that specific incident. Then you may like to act on it e.g. by apologizing to your brother or you could just resolve to be nicer in future or you could just forgive yourself. Try not to turn it into something overwhelming. When you feel the painful real emotion, the generalized, energy-sapping depression will evaporate. When it returns, it will be because of another specific emotion that you're not facing up to. Find the right moment and then bravely let that new emotion hurt you and then you can think of the right response, if any is needed.
Read untethered soul by micheal singer
Thank you for this terrific video, Dr. Eilers. I've been struggling with depression since the death of my husband from alcoholism in March. Your advice about not chasing acute feelings of joy and instead focusing on doing stuff and creating stuff is really resonating with me. The bits of joy I experience tend to be very short-lived, but when I can focus on writing the memoir and handbook for bereaved widows of alcoholics that I'm working on, it's more satisfying and it lasts longer. There's something I can go back to and see that I made progress and am getting closer to what I want to have done. Also the part about not staying up late is good advice. Depression always seems worse late at night so just avoiding being awake in that time is helpful. Thanks again for this video and your previous videos. The fact that you've gone through all this stuff yourself makes a difference.
Thank you for being so open with us! Over decades of depression, anxiety and insomnia, I have arrived at a very similar lifestyle.
I'm currently going through a depressive episode and this video is really helpful. I like how you've approached this from a practical angle because often only the emotional side gets looked at. The getting lost in a TV show/fantasy world' jumped out at me because I totally know what you mean - you start watching a show to feel better/less lonely, it works but then your depression worsens as you watch episode after episode and realise you're actually sitting at home alone and your life isn't anything like the characters. I've recently been rewatching Friends on Netflix plus way too many Friends analysis UA-cam videos and have felt so many mixed nostalgic, sad and happy feelings about it. Last night I had a nightmare about it and before clicking on this video was feeling the lowest I've felt in months, then I see you mention it. So thank you for that. I'd never fully made the excessive video watching connection to depression. I'm extremely lonely and isolated due to many painful losses and desperately need to find new groups to join as the loneliness feels like it's killing me sometimes.
I agree, extreme loneliness is very hard, it's an epidemic. I too wish to know where there is a group of likeminded people to enjoy
Almost 12 months ago I had to unhook the tv. Being depressed I didn't hook it all back up right away . As the months went by I realised how much of my time I spent glued to it (almost all) and how much I resent that. I've returned to playing a musical instrument I abandoned after my teens and I'm loving that. It helps more than anything else, unlike the tv which I now think is really pernicious. I know what you mean about the loneliness. I have a cat which is both a comfort and a painful reminder that he's my only companionship. Modern life may be easier in some respects, but in others it is brutal. Isolation is so damaging. If you have interest in meditation or similar activities that can be a nice social group.
Someone who really understands what I've gone through for my 70 years. I'm sorry others have this life. I do like your ideas on how to get yourself through yet another day. One little thing I do is write the number one and write the one thing I will do the next day. I don't always succeed, but I have a plan from the time I wake up. Thank you for dong this video. It helps knowing that even one person understands.
I think this is the best video over depression I've ever watched. I totally recognize the difference between being totally sober and occasional drinking as well as the difference between long term success vs short term hedonism. When you achieve something it's still with you while hedonistic behavior is not with you anymore, as soon as the effect is gone.
Hey Dr Scott! Thank you for being real and sharing your reality with us. I’m a firefighter/medic with PTSD and ADHD and all that comes with it. It’s great to see other professionals talking about their mental health struggles. I’m in school now to be a Clinical Hypnotherapist. The skills I am learning have been helpful in dealing with my anxiety. I’ve also been sober for 7 months now. I’m proud of you!
What a wonderful human being you are!! You are humble and you exude a genuine concern for others. God bless you, friend. Curt
Another for me is stop watching True Crime stories, too much exposure to negative narratives
Me too
Oh HECK, I watch a lot of that, because "it takes my mind off things"......
@@helenapretorius4435 they fulfill that purpose, but if you ask yourself how do you feel after watching a murder documentary it's never likely to be joyous and happy etc, it's always a chilling negative effect like watching the news
@@shughy1 yes, agreed. It's an escape. When you compare it to watching bad news, that puts a new perspective on it. Thanks for that. You know, I am bothered if I think I couldn't watch them......what the heck is that about??
@@helenapretorius4435 I think it's some kind of addiction to negative emotion, it's real as the amount of channels playing it is insane... I would try replacing the viewing with comedy or anything that leaves you feeling happy, or movies with happy vibes etc... life is stressful enough 😄
All of the above, I can understand. I'm in a severe episode of my MDD and anxiety disorder. I recognized the "fantasy" world you talk about in 2011. I was binge watching Gray's Anatomy and it made me spiral down. That was the first time I realized that I was effected by said "fantasy world." I do have to be mindful of books I choose also. TFS
May God reward your efforts to work on your mental health.
I just finished All of the episodes. Now I can’t find anything else worth watching.😊 Any ideas?
@CMoore8539 no, sorry. I don't watch it anymore
@@CMoore8539 binge watching anything makes you sick.
Greys was one of my big favorites but I can see now how it made my brain used to drama. It's overly emotional and unrealistic. If Alex Karev makes his way into your dreams at night, you have gone overboard with it.
Very powerful. Lost my brother to this. I think I've healed too. Biggest thing for me was to quit drinking and get into therapy. Thank you for describing it the way it affects us.
Thankfulness is truly the key to escaping depression. The world doesn't revolve around me and I'm lucky to be here and alive. Love myself and everyone.
Just discovered this video. I've listened twice because of clear resonance with my experience of my life. I thank you so much for this courage, honestly, effort to help others through sharing how things are and have been for you. I've been too brilliant for my brain-balance to handle. It has gotten me some good places but the general effect has been frustration, feeling alienated from others when really my feelings of alienation were often not actually justifiable. This tremendous frustration and feeling too different. I spent 2 professional careers helping clients. My most rewarding times of peace and calm were when I was connected alone or in a team, helping people. But now I'm retired and that achievement being more durable than joy has been true but has also now kind of worn-off after years of retirement. Anyway, I really just wanted to thank you so much. Yes, being stuck in one's own too-unique mind can be hellish. I've experienced your feelings of hellish suffering. I will now particularly keep your talk in mind with respect to looking after myself....HAVING to look after myself because my brain, too, cannot handle certain apparently 'normal' life experiences. Yes, it's a choice. Congratulations of the choices you've made, and are making. Good man. The world benefits from people like you, very much. KEEP FOLLOWING YOUR STAR.
Timestamps help me study/remember
0:00 Intro (Self-Disclosure)
3:25 Intro (Preamble)
4:40 #1 Drugs and Alcohol (Escapism through Patterns of Abuse)
7:08 #2 Chasing Acute Feelings of Joy (Quick Fixes instead of Long-term Achievements)
9:44 #3 Staying up Late (Behavioural Insomnia)
10:57 Tired Mind = Emotionally Dysregulated Mind + Two Choices
12:42 #4 Restricting Food Intake (Denying your brain the necessary nutrition)
14:18 #5 Allowing yourself to be inactive/isolated indoors (Under-stimulating the Brain)
15:41 #6 Getting Really Invested in Fantasy Worlds (Comparing Real Life to an Unachievable Standard)
15:50 Outro
Thank you. Saved me time
as a formerly depressed person (still have occasional bad days where I grapple with it), I relate so much to a lot of what you've described here. It took me a while to realize that certain aspects of my lifestyle when I was young, was not doing me any favours...
I no longer watch anything violent that traumatised my nervous system. Discernment ....selective of what l let in. Over stimulated addiction now l am learning to be calmer.
i found that i can't simultaneously be depressed and focused on helping someone else
I can and do it daily as a therapist to be honest. I wish it were that simple for me. Glad this is a route that gives you respite
Yes, that absolutely works for many men. But most women are expected to care for and do for others their whole lives whether they are depressed or not. I was depressed and hiding it while I was an elder at my church, ran the food pantry, did meals on wheels and habitat for humanity. No matter how full I tried to make my life, the depression was still there. I've just always been able to hide it from others. Until I can't. Strangely enough, I got better during COVID when everything shut down and there was nothing to do and no one to please or pretend for. That was eye opening for me.
Bless you. Don't keep it all to yourself. You're not alone. Give yourself some grace and a big pat on the back for your strength.
✌🏼&♥️
I help everyone, and I love it. However, no one ever helps me when I need it!
@@mamajennie i feel that
I have never come across a video like this before. It is so simple and direct!
I have been suffering and fighting depression for years but during the last three years I realised I had hit rock bottom believing there was no way out.
You have described me to me.
Thank you for this valuable advice!!!!!
😂 ❤
It's definitely a daily fight. Thankyou, from the bottom of my dry grey heart, for helping us all. T.
Dr. Scott, this video grabbed me like no other. Your description of your earlier years, especially college, is a painful reminder of myself😢!
I hope to read your book soon and I look forward to all your podcasts.
Feeling more gratitude to you than you can imagine. ❤
Wow. This video popped up out of nowhere and I’m so glad I watched it. I’ve struggled with alcohol and depression most of my adult life (I recently turned 64). I’ve been on a serious sober journey for the past 3 1/2 years but have had no luck with permanent sobriety yet. I’ve recently connected my alcohol use to depression so hearing you speak was a life saver. You’ve gained a new follower. I’m anxious to hear more of what you have to say as I’m tired of living this life of ups and downs. Thank you.
Woah, as a 41yr old man you basically just described my life story....that lack of joy feeling when we are really depressed is such a tough thing to go through! I've started martial arts almost 7 months ago and I'm doing pretty well. I do need to get outside more often, everyday. I also started using a SAD lamp for the winter period & I've taken antidepressants for over 20yrs. Thank you so much for sharing your story and giving out some of those tips. I hope we both can find some peace & happiness in our complex minds...🙏👋
You need CBD oil ,with no thc in it... Go 2 a real cbd shop to buy it.. It will change your life for the better..
Thank you for sharing your story.
I've heard anti depressants can affect your libido? Im a 32 year old male and depression has completely destroyed my libido, I fear taking anti depressants will further aggravate that specific situation. Would love to know your reaction
Yes I have to do this, did not realise how much until listening to this video. I am moving forward and I am so glad I found your channel. Thank you so much. 😊
"Achievement is more durable than joy." I love that! Thank you so much 🎯
I'd add to stop comparing yourself to others and the belief that the grass is always greener elsewhere. There's no peace of mind until you let go of this.