This is exactly why I don’t care about dating no more , I will remain being a good person with boundaries. I’m not changing who I am to appeal to a man or boy.
Yessss! Like it or not, you're still altering yourself in hopes for the situation to go in your favor. If you have to be a mean girl for a guy to be nice to you, then chances are he will play the game long enough for you to let your guard down. Then what? The game continues? Lol single and content people don't have these problems! 💗
In the end, all relationship advice for women boils down to playing games. I read part of the book "The Rules," and it advises playing games even after marriage. It's exhausting and not worth it. There's never a time you can relax and be yourself while in a relationship with a man. I can't imagine spending my life that way.
They really expect us to be therapists for men just to date them. "He's acting like this because in his childhood..." Blah, blah, blah. I'm not unpacking your entire life story just to understand you. Be an adult and come correct.
Not just a therapist, but a dominatrix and his handler. That is 3 whole jobs. Bish there is not enough relationship to pay for all that work. Boy bye 👋
I worked in clubs. The nice girls were home taking care of the baby while their husbands were spending money on girls at the club who didn't care about them.
Trust me i use to work as a bottle girl in a strip club. The nice girls always did 5050 with their husbands meanwhile their husbands gave the remaining of their 50 percent to the strippers and the bottle girls. This gave me a view about being a nice girl. I dont give males my time if i dont benefit financially. They dont want nice girls. They just say that so they can walk all over them and they give all their money to girls that have standards.
But they "married" the nice girl. The girls at the club they would never wife-up or take home to Mom. That little money they spending at the club, his wife "allows" him to spend.
25, still living with mom started college again, never dated before, or had first kiss, the economy is mess, societal standards are terrible, its just going to get worse, I never had a chance
Sound like some women in their 50s and 60s dear. I realized the game a long time ago. What's so sad about it is men love men. Thats why most of them are gay. They don't respect the female or the female's persona. Women were trained to be helpers to the family not nice girls. It was our role. And they're making it as though she's being nice to get a guy instead of that was just how they were trained. Some women were trained like this, and it doesn't mean they can't curse the men out or go coo coo on them. Men just think stupid. All girls or women are mean girls if you act like jackasz long enough and it's sad men can't figure that out.Then they wonder why women aren't nice anymore and abuse them. Because they like abusive women. @aknight6214
People really get hung up on the "mean" part, I think. They think it means going over the top, or playing hard to get, or doing an act. It's simple: do you know how LITTLE you have to do as a woman to be considered "mean"? Not laugh at every joke out of obligation, be honest/blunt, don't perform your emotions, have and enforce boundaries? Literally just look out for number one? It takes so little effort to be considered a difficult woman. The only hard part is unlearning all that nice-girl crap that gets us jumping through hoops. Stop caring so much, focus on yourself, detach from any outcome involving a man, and they'll line up to be the one to get you to care. It's that simple.
@@thesevenkingswelove9554 It's almost pathetic really. I've gotten those drunk, late-night rambling texts from guys going on about "you scare me, I've never met anyone like you, you're this and that and you don't care". And it's like .... I'm literally just standing here, please get it together 💀💀
It’s not about being mean or crazy for me. It’s having boundaries and saying “no”. I remain extremely nice but I’m naturally “mysterious” and when I feel like a guy is pushing my limits, I speak up sternly. I don’t do wifely things because I’m not a wife. Men need to earn my servitude. They always get shocked and either don’t like it or say, “that’s not you”. I get infuriated when I hear that. You don’t tell me who I am. You’re the fool for thinking I was a doormat 😂.
Yeah I was a doormat for years not with blokes but with other people. I learned when someone asks for something never say yes which was my knee jerk reaction (due to trauma). I now say “depends on what it is” or “I’ll help if I can” meaning if I want to.
Men respect women who hold them accountable and call them out on the BS. They do not respect women who allow them to walk all over them, which is usually what nice girls do. If you value yourself, you will behave, not like the latter. Im a nice girl, and i did finish last bcos I let people take the piss. When I started knowing my worth, I started putting my footdown now im married. Im still very caring and loving, but i demand respect, care, and love no exceptions.
Yep , but all that works for women who want to deal with men - I can do all that and still curve them as I am no longer interested in dating them anymore
I will just continue to stay single. I'm not about to be mean and play mental gymnastics in order to get a romantic partner. Men who like this kind of womanly behavior are emotionally unintelligent and immature which is what I don’t need anyway. You can still be kind, confident, and intelligent without acting like a 15 year old teen girl having a tantrum when she doesn't get her way. I will continue to be nice at all times. A real man will one day appreciate it. A man who likes drama is a guy to stay away from. I don't want dysfunctional relationships, I want mentally healthy relationships. So If I have to remain single because I refuse this foolish behavior, then so be it.
I'm a nice girl, and I won't be changing for any man. Starting my single story, and I hate dating all these horrible men who want bitches. I'm not a bitch, and never will be. Let men have their bitches, because, i'm done dating it's crap in 2024. Single is where I'm staying I'm not into mind games ❤❤❤
Another point. Don't change for a man. He will find you wearing short dresses, wearing stilettos and wearing 30inch frontals. He will try to change you to long dresses in public, flat shoes and natural hair girl. Nothing wrong with both but never allow him to be reason why you change
Men who arnt confident want someone who doesn't think their good enough. A woman who does they don't respect because they think they are not good enough as themselves. Better to choose a confident man that has a exciting life holiday fun that does not need anything but you to be you. No games. Because he's who and where he wants to be.
I think people who are too nice come across as desperate and not genuine as you think that they are after something. It's actually very uncomfortable on the other foot. We are not one dimensional, and God made us with many different personality traits. Therefore, to only see one personality type all the time, just seems unnaturally weird. I would think that, once I made a serious commitment to you, you would change. Which happens a lot when men marry women.
My ex never cared about me in the relationship. Never cared enough to give gifts or celebrate anything, but the last year when I suddenly stopped caring, he did get me gifts and love bombed. I left a week after his first gift to me. Realized I couldn't care less about him.
I declared divorce, and received flowers for the first time in seven years (7yrs total, 3 years married). I'm not a big gestures kind of person but the fact that as I'm walking out I was now worthy of bigger gestures? It digusted me so much. I think that's when I realized that I didn't have to care whether I was at actually not caring or not lol
Similar with my first bf. He started chasing me hard and trying to act like a doting boyfriend only once I broke up with him. I also had another bf who told me he wanted a little more drama, because he got along with me too well and I was kind and communicated. It's strange, but it explains why men tend to bring unnecessary drama into women's lives.
This is all so funny when you remember how many guys are like "girls are all drama, they don't say what they really mean/want, I don't want any of that". Maybe some really mean it tho 😅 Many guys do want peace and quiet, but they don't tend to be the type to make statements quite like that. The world is complicated.
When i stopped being a sweet little doormat who gives multiple chances, shares money, and has infinite patience is when i ended up with a man who actually does respect me. I was a pick me and it got me literally nowhere because men find women like that replaceable. Most men don’t actually want someone who’s just easy and agreeable. Im not mean to my husband but i dont let things slide the way i did with previous relationships, and i feel like he respects that and appreciates that I have a voice and boundaries.
Do those kinds of men really respect you, though? Or are they waiting oh, so patiently for that moment of weakness before they pounce? I say it’s the latter. Stay safe out there, ladies. And STAY ALERT!
@lightoverdarkness3078 You can't be nice to men they don't appreciate nice- doesn't matter how well you treat them they'll treat you like shyt 💯 and idk why women deal with them thinking a better response
I don't date anymore being nice and good doesn't mean anything to men when you're a not a whoremonger. I had men tell me if you won't give me the goods I'll get it elsewhere and they chased easy women. I officially stopped dating in 2014 and never been happier. Being nice doesn't mean anything to men these days. My boundaries are up with men too many issues with them !
I agree I left my ex recently too and ever sense then my boundary has been up.with all of them so I moved out and got my own place now it's peaceful in this room and I can just look for a second job and focus on building up my finances so I can pay off my debt sometimes if you take interesting jobs like this and your always busy this will keep them away from you because you will never have time to stop and talk if he asks for a lighter you don't have one never have free time for them and this will really piss off some of rude ones too that think panhandling will make them successful.
@unicorn73212 Yep I'm focused on education, finances, and other goals - going back to my business for extra money not relying on these men for shyt and building myself up
And then what? Change your entire personality for a dude? The wrong dude at that. The right person will value your niceness. However, the majority of men are the wrong men.
You don't have to entertain unhealed people. Just be kind and only spend time with other kind people. People who will return your kindness in full do exist.
Sounds like some of them are wanting to trade one toxic dynamic for another. Why would you want to attract someone who wants to be treated like ish? Being confident and having firm boundaries, not being desperate and protecting your peace would probably work just as well. If someone wants me to treat them poorly to date… not interested. But being confident and having boundaries isn’t mean at all.
I remember I went on a date from Tinder. He was love bombing me and all of that. I told him straight up. I don't stay out after 10PM. After I told him that, the conversation started to become dry. I don't kiss and I definitely don't F on the first date. Anyway I'm celibate.
I’m actually not a nice girl lol. Like I’m kind and compassionate and empathetic but I am very blunt and real and will not let a man walk all over me. I have been labeled mean for not allowing men to treat me like shit lol. I’m also not that agreeable.. I’m logical lol Let men do all the work that’s the only thing that they respect
Girl preach I’m the same way. I’m not nice but kind and empathetic. I’m blunt straight to the point. I tell folks I’m not the one to play with. I am a ♉️♉️for a reason.
Noticed. Most really nice and empathic girls in my school are single, whetever they are searching for a guy or not. Maybe its because being caring, emphatic and so on and forth is just really not outshining the more "brutal" women out for men. Of course bad bitches would get more attention! They are usually more loud and asservative, which is okey! Problem is only there, if the guy leaves his girl for the drama, then complains for it. But honestly, and? If those men are leaving the genuelly nice and lovely girls, its their loss. Then they really shouldn't whine why those women might be more cold hearted towards them if things go south. To all the empaths: You deserve better. And if a man cannot give you the same energy back, it just means that you will find your love, meaning, strenghts or whatever elsewhere. Somewhere definitly more productive then a man child still seeking drama. If a man left you for someone else, it just means he is sinply not for you. Its not on you, genuelly good people are never the problem, never forget!
Men tell women that they shouldn’t have been playing the field, and should have went for the Nice Guy who liked them all those years ago instead. But they never apply that same thing to themselves. They want to go after the mean women, get played, be on child support, and then come crawling back to the nice girl, who he hopes is still single.
@@LoveAndSnapple Yes, exactly! Well said! The hypocrizisy always amuses me. What women need to know is that most men cannot love. Most are so rooted in narcissism, and we all know how that's basically incurable, or almost unmanageable. Most Men won't change, only go worse. And women need to move on, be hard on them and never, ever expect from them the better!
There is no problem with being nice and loving towards a man you love. If he perceives it as a negative! It’s HIS ISSUE. He showed himself as someone who doesn’t appreciates intimacy and you should move on to someone who could actually participate in a loving relationship.
Is there really any hope for us nice girls, especially empaths? It’s crazy I had this conversation yesterday with my aunt I was like men love witches. 🤣
Dear, there's plenty of Hope for nice empath ladies! We can have all the Fun in the world , no one takes that away from us. "Men don't want nice empath girls" translates to " there's substantially less drama, less violence, less trouble for nice girls in this world "
Yes but make sure you remember to take care and time out for yourself and let a partner know if you're near burnout. They may not see ot if you don't say it out loud
This sounds pretty bad. Somethings in relationships can be tough already, now a female has to fake being mean when it's not even her natural way? Uggghhhh what the entire fq?!?!
The message here aligns perfectly with one I learned from a previous video: "I'm their biggest cheerleader. I hype them up, point out everything positive about them. And it gets to their head. They think they're all that and that now they can do better." So yes. Unfortunately kind and giving people (especially ones with people pleasing tendencies like myself) will be walked all over.
One minute they want a nice girl, next minute they dont, lemme just get myself a cat im tired of the flip flopping just go therapy and address your insecurities and issues instead of expecting a woman to play detective therapist😭😭
I think this is generalizing. Only the wrong person won’t value you when you’re being your authentic kind loving self. With that being said, you need to know your worth and assert boundaries with EVERYONE.
I’m sorry but I’d rather be nice. To me, being a mean girl rubs off as a negative spirit on you. Have boundaries yes but you shouldn’t have to change who you are for others, ESPECIALLY for a man.
pick me girl cool girl nice girl don't make yourself just for a man you are a human being as well relationships are not the be all end all don't make that the center of your life
Any of y'all ladies that have decentered men and don't care what they think of you, hit the like button ⬇️ I still enjoyed the video and comments, thank y'all
I’m ashamed to say this but one of my ex tried some slick sh!t and I pulled a unloaded gun on him, after he ran half naked on the streets, this man came back and took me to dinner, bought me shoes. P.S he didn’t cheat, just said some stupid stuff.
@MW-rn let’s just say I saw red lol. I broke up with him afterwards cos I knew then if a man could get me to that point he wasn’t worth it. The stupid fool was trying to get back with me 🥴 like I didn’t threatened his ssa
Yes this is very true and I hate it and will not play the devils game. You can be nice without taking care of a man too. 3:34 the only men who want chaos are devils agent and aren’t qualified for healthy relationships.
This is just too much bullshit. I don’t want to have to neg a guy to get him to like me. I’m a giver, so I have decided to give my love and affection to people and creatures who deserve and need it - children, rescue dogs and elderly folks. These men can eat it.
I've come to the conclusion that sometimes wounded, dimwitted, traumatized people act exactly like they are wounded, dimwitted and traumatized. This exact stupid behavior. These kinds of people can be completely and absolutely stupid. It's like they believe they deserve hell and nothing better. Or, he's just trying to break you. At some point, you will love yourself enough to just be yourself. You love him how you love him and be kind to him if you think he's worth it. If he doesn't like it that you're being kind to him, that's his own demons and his ancestor's demons. It doesn't have to change who you are. Never stoop to that level of stupid. Yes, have boundaries but don't become mean just because some asshole is too insecure to see their own worth. People love to be traumatized and to perpetuate trauma and drama because they're too immature to do better. I'm not becoming something I disdain just so some half wit can like me. At my Death bed I do not want to have any regrets about my behaviour or my choices. So, no. I'm not becoming mean just so some fool can find an excuse to cause me drama. I like peace and quiet and serenity and growth and maturity .And the Golden rule. If you're not bringing that to my life, disappear.
Don’t be a mean girl then. Be who you are there nothing wrong with that. I wouldn’t recommend anyone be to mean just to attract a man. But you do have be assertive & set boundaries. Don’t just let someone walk all over you.
You don't have to be mean. Hàve boundaries and stand firm on them. And be very stern when a man does some shit you don't like. That's pretty much "mean" to men.
Called my dude out and Broke up with him cause some minor stuff he repeatedly does (NOT CHEATING/ NOT ABUSE) went silent for a week and he comes back with a bouquet of roses and a puppy… like what????
Puppy? Yeah nothing like using a real living feeling being like a gift and not a lifelong expensive responsibility. I wouldn't look at a man that treats animals like that, if they are just replaceable tools to them - so will you and your kids
These men sound like men who haven’t worked out their issues and men like that are not relationship material. If you notice you have to do any of these things to make them respect you then leave. Exit left. Do not waste your time. Relationships are not that good that you have to put yourself through this toxic drama.
Nah I just think they like the idea of the chase. They'll get bored with you once they catch you. Just like they were bored of the 'nice' girls. I don't think men really know what they want. They don't really want a relationship, they seem to look for thrill more than anything.
Ehhhh, to me it seems as though you're altering yourself in hopes of manipulating a situation to go in your favor, especially if you aren't really a "mean girl". All for some guy who will be up for the challenge long enough for you to drop your guard.. And then what? Will the 2 of you keep playing the game until one of you gives in or up? 🤔 I'll pass. All you really have to do is take note of the red flags. People usually slip up and reveal themselves without the antics.
Yes, in general nice people finish last. But being disrespectful is rooted in human nature. I mean, children naturally try to push your boundaries and need a proper education to behave. The problem is that not everyone recieve this kind of education resulting with immature adults ready to exploit other for their own interest if no rule is set. That's why communicating is important to detect those red flags. Also it's better to not give husband/wife treatment until the other show real commitment
Many people don't know how to receive true kindness and care. But also, overextendeding yourself is not the same thing as being generally kind and caring. If you lack boundaries, you will get walked over every time. People have "nice" mixed up with pushover.
There’s a different between being kind and a nice people pleaser. Nice people are usually pushovers no back bone and lack boundaries I use to be one it’s not a good thing to be. KIND people are nice but have boundaries and aren’t afraid to stand and speak up for themselves that’s what people respect. Choose being respected over liked the people that will accept they can’t get over on you will stay around and like you
This is deep and true. I have experienced it. Thank God I have matured and have learned. Personally, I couldn't do the mean thing anymore, it was too much for my nature. For me. it was exhausting. When I saw certain characteristics from him. I just bounced. It surprised me how they came running. I just ignored them, kept it moving. My brother gave me that advice and I saw that he was right in the long run. Luckily, I have a 20 year marriage with a beautiful man now. We are kind to each other.
Don t listen to these toxic game rules, that toxic men play with women too. When you have to play these games he isn t into you. Get over it and look for the next one. But don t be nice just to be nice too, he must diserve you to be nice, and respekt you having your opinions and listen to you explaining them. Be no Pick me, be yourself. He has to add value to YOUR life, if not, stay single
I’m a natural giver and carer and I am slowly getting rid of my pick-me habits (which have led to nothing but misery). I will still be kind and nice when someone is deserving of it but I can’t picture letting a man near me again romantically. They seem to drain all the good from your soul and enjoy leaving a shell. Since I’ve started being more aloof and very direct with them I have had more interest 🙄 as per this video. Which is fine, it’s gives me an opportunity to practice being assertive at saying no. I no longer project my own overthinking onto men either; they don’t think like us or care as much. A few are decent but it’s rare.
The saying treat them mean keep them keen seems to be true. I'm not a pushover but I'm not playing the game of being a mean girl to get a man. I feel like if we have to play games, we're not for each other.
It feels like you have to keep your guard up cause you get soft they take the micky. Its exhausting. Just pick a normal guy whos not drama. Its gets old quick anf you cant relax into it to be soft
This IS normal for guys. Good guys generally like this drama, too. Most men have a hunter's instinct and low emotional intelligence, so they can't bond deeply and need to constantly be on the prowl to avoid boredom. You have to give them something to hunt by always making them think you can leave and don't like them too much, and other nonsense games. If you relax, they start checking out and taking you for granted. The percentage of guys who are any different is probably 1%. It is exhausting, yes, which is why I'd rather not bother.
@@ds37215 Exactly - hammer meet nail. They only go after nice girls as a last resort/safety net to use and take for granted. They don't actually love and respect these women more -- they're just there for their convenience until they find something "better".
Don’t run off a “good man” with this bs. A healed man will not tolerate this! All you have to do is stay firm on your standards and boundaries and don’t ever bend. Also, mean what you say and say what you mean. He will not take you serious if you don’t stand on BIDNESS 👛💅🏾💕
Yea this is a bad take. Hard miss. This is just manipulation 101. If you’re a sweet person or kind, be that. Be clear with your values and boundaries, and NEVER take advice from people who tell you to change yourself in order to preserve toxic dating culture. We need more lovers, not sadists. Severely lost the plot here.
So this why men act like im flirting with them when Im genuinely cussing them out and being mean (because they did something wrong to me 1st and Im reacting) smh I dont want to be with a man that I have to treat like shit in order for him to love me, he needs therapy
The only people that we can give out the love we have is to our babies…oh well, I ain’t got a problem with that. We know it’s not in vain when we love on our kids. Anyway, grandmother used to tell me to give ‘em hell if i told her about a boy I liked and you can’t beat ‘em off with a stick when you do that
Ok, so I'm not saying this isn't accurate, but I am saying it's bs. Nice is not the opposite of confidence and dismissive, rude and manipulative is not the same thing as confidence. What all this actually shows is that dudes are not interested in making a human connection with a woman. If he doesn't want someone that likes him, hypes him up, and supports him, that's probably about deep seated childhood trauma and feelings of unworthiness. It is not a rational or normal response from a healthy individual. The answer is not to stop being nice. The answer is if a man (or anyone really) does not appreciate who you are as your authentic self, they aren't your person and you need to leave him tf alone. If he gets disinterested when you are loving and sweet to him, the net result is going to be a relationship with no loving and sweetness because his trauma responses make that situation intolerable for him. So off the top, he is eliminating the good, fulfilling, life-giving parts of the relationship because for him, it's transactional, and he does not gaf about you or your feelings at all. If he cared about feelings, he wouldn't want you to be mean to him before he'd respond in a wanted manner. If a man doesn't like you being nice that is a huge effing red flag, not just how men are. It is vulnerable to both give and receive love, compliments, help and support. If he is not capable of being vulnerable, he literally cannot connect with you on an emotional level and is therefore using you, not having a romantic relationship with you. He is dangerous and he is exploiting you. This trend might be true, but it's indicative of a real deficit in the skills of men to be in reciprocal relationships. If a dude hasn't done the work to be emotionally mature enough to be resilient and handle vulnerability, he is not fit to be in a romantic relationship, full stop. Women need to start treating these things like the deal breakers they are. It is sooooo much better to be single than to attach yourself to an emotionally immature man who refuses to do any introspection, which is most of them.
I'm a nice person but when you cross a line with me, I'm done and there is no going back. I cannot tell you the people who were outraged I wouldn't just get over it and give another chance. They feel entitled when you are nice to unlimited chances, and this is both men and women. I keep my circle tight because I don't have time to be a doormat. And quite frankly it is nice to not be everyone's damn therapist.
Me and one of my male friends argue about this all the time. Even though he knows and admits that the women he chasesare bad people especially to him.....
And those same men end up punching the air when they get those same women pregnant and now they’re stuck with a mean-spirited baby mama for life. That’s when he starts to wish for peace and starts crawling back to that no drama nice girl.
Just to say thank you for your videos Priscilla, and that your message and your demographic is universal. Makes me glad and happy to hear your kind and intelligent voice. Love and respect from a sister on the other side ( of the world, age, colour), very proud to stand with you.
I'm naturally nice, but noticed when in relationships it gets me cheated on. Also horrible tips bartending. Switched to mean with guys and customers and the difference was astounding. They don't deserve nice!
Remember too that men remember every indignity they have visited upon you. Everytime they have used you and abused you and got away with it, they lowered your value internally.
I worked for an extremely wealthy white woman who could buy ANYTHING she wanted. She’d buy her kids houses the way you buy a dress anywhere they wanted yet she’d been married twice & she’d never been happy. All her friends that she hosted in the charity galas & soirées were nowhere to be found when she was old & ailing. I believe in living my life. I’ve no need to go to parties where my skin color is not even needed. I’m also easily bored 🥱 when in places where there’s incessant chitchat & meaningless conversations going nowhere. I like dealing with people individually on a 1:1. That’s why even clubs or nightlife doesn’t hold much thrill for me. Also we all respond to consequences so if you don’t hold men or anyone in your life accountable then what do you expect. Human beings will walk over you if you allow. Same applies to kids. Hold yourself accountable to people & hold them accountable to you. That’s part of personal growth.
Yeah I don’t know about this. I’ve had it happen to me before but those men are just weird and not relationship material. My dad loves my mom who is a nice woman, and that’s because he’s not immature or emotionally stunted
This appeals to the part of human nature that wants what we can’t have. Bottom line is that you don’t want someone who doesn’t show you respect unless you resort to manipulative tactics. Not only are you compromising your morals, but you are also setting yourself up to get hurt. A guy that doesn’t show you interest unless you act uninterested or mean to him, lacks self esteem and respect for himself. And insecurity in men tends to present itself differently sometimes than it does for us. Collectively if we are insecure we try to prove ourselves.. or excel in other areas to compensate. But men.. atleast from what I’ve seen they will take it out on you.. they will try and bring you down not to their level, but beneath them so that they can feel a sense of power and control. They will cheat on you because they are trying to fill a void on the inside that will never be filled. A man that not only accepts, but chases women who are mean to him or disrespects him, does not respect himself.. so why or how could he respect you? You don’t need change in that way just to be with someone. Stay safe out there ya’ll 🤞🏿
Also, as long as you love yourself and you adhere to your boundaries, there are naturally going to be situations or moments in your life where you may come across as mean. You do not have to manufacture this, it will happen organically. Not compromising your standards and setting/ reinforcing boundaries will ultimately get you respect. Being willing to walk away will get you respect. That’s for any aspect of life not just relationships. Ultimately focus on what you want, not what someone else is responding to. Bc if you put on an act just to get the guy you want, but that’s not authentically you, you are going to stretch yourself thin trying to maintain that position until you either can’t anymore, or something happens to where it doesn’t work out. I implore you all, don’t do this.
U have boundaries then they like u. They pick the nice one bc it’s convenient while they chase the B but men like this are broken n they wonder Y they failed they relationship. U want also a men who respect himself enough to get a women who has boundaries and carácter she does not need to be mean. If I’m mean I don’t like u
I've been following content on this channel for a few months now and I'd like to thank Priscilla for sharing Tiktok clips with the content creator's names showing so I can sse this content. It's good to see content and listen to prespectives which differfrom the anti woman content all over social media. It's refreshing to hear views which call out toxic male behaviour and this coming from a man 👏
Trust me ladies I’m a nice woman and I’m married you can find your Prince Charming 👑✨ continue to be nice and have ya boundaries set and in place! Never change❤
9:27 this is so dumb. Don't play stupid games, just find someone who is emotionally available / with secure attachment, even if it takes you years to find them. You'll avoid sooo much drama and tears
This is exactly why I don’t care about dating no more , I will remain being a good person with boundaries. I’m not changing who I am to appeal to a man or boy.
It's not about being nice or mean, it's about being a respective gal but with boundaries and you are ruthless with your cutoff. 👸⚔️
Yessss! Like it or not, you're still altering yourself in hopes for the situation to go in your favor. If you have to be a mean girl for a guy to be nice to you, then chances are he will play the game long enough for you to let your guard down. Then what? The game continues? Lol single and content people don't have these problems! 💗
Cant blame you. A lot of males nowadays are cheap or broke and they still want you to cater to them. Make it make sense. Bunch of clowns.🤡
Same I'm so glad I stopped dating most men are broke with baggage their not worth the energy or investment
Right I totally agree!!
let us normalize loving people who are nice to us. if you like someone who is not nice to you , you should go to therapy .
Therapy is what most ppl need and they don’t want to admit it
@@thelashayway8250yes , and yes
that's what most men need
@@thelashayway8250: Unfortunately, there is a big stigma attached to going to therapy.
Most men don't like going to therapy so it's game over already 😂
If I gotta do all this, I don't want it.
Exactly it's too much work dealing with men
FACTS
yesssss@@77kc_77
In the end, all relationship advice for women boils down to playing games. I read part of the book "The Rules," and it advises playing games even after marriage. It's exhausting and not worth it. There's never a time you can relax and be yourself while in a relationship with a man. I can't imagine spending my life that way.
@ds37215 exactly not worth it just be single
They really expect us to be therapists for men just to date them. "He's acting like this because in his childhood..." Blah, blah, blah. I'm not unpacking your entire life story just to understand you. Be an adult and come correct.
BE AN ADULT AND COME CORRECT!
I’m so sick of women always having to be the mature and healed ones.
Not just a therapist, but a dominatrix and his handler. That is 3 whole jobs. Bish there is not enough relationship to pay for all that work. Boy bye 👋
Males don’t have to be abused as a child to have male nature.
💯
I just choose not to deal with any man anymore. Nice guy or not they all have the same goal they just approach it differently.
I keep it simple and just reciprocate the way people treat me. However, if there’s toxicity or confusion, I don’t go back and forth-I disappear.
Same! Love this. I check in with myself, do I feel confused with this person? Yes, ok bye then!
This is simple common sense that many people don’t get.
That's what's up!
Smart woman.
@@CanadianCatScratcher-ff4slit's really that simple! 🫰🏾
I worked in clubs. The nice girls were home taking care of the baby while their husbands were spending money on girls at the club who didn't care about them.
Trust me i use to work as a bottle girl in a strip club. The nice girls always did 5050 with their husbands meanwhile their husbands gave the remaining of their 50 percent to the strippers and the bottle girls. This gave me a view about being a nice girl. I dont give males my time if i dont benefit financially. They dont want nice girls. They just say that so they can walk all over them and they give all their money to girls that have standards.
But they "married" the nice girl. The girls at the club they would never wife-up or take home to Mom. That little money they spending at the club, his wife "allows" him to spend.
Men don't like nice women.
They always marry the women who are out in clubs with other men.
Nah.. they dont know@@blackcherry6877
@@blackcherry6877 the wife lets him go?
Starting to think this world is just not for me.😢
Same...
Preaching to the choir babe 😢😅
womP womP
25, still living with mom started college again, never dated before, or had first kiss, the economy is mess, societal standards are terrible, its just going to get worse, I never had a chance
Sound like some women in their 50s and 60s dear. I realized the game a long time ago. What's so sad about it is men love men. Thats why most of them are gay. They don't respect the female or the female's persona. Women were trained to be helpers to the family not nice girls. It was our role. And they're making it as though she's being nice to get a guy instead of that was just how they were trained. Some women were trained like this, and it doesn't mean they can't curse the men out or go coo coo on them. Men just think stupid. All girls or women are mean girls if you act like jackasz long enough and it's sad men can't figure that out.Then they wonder why women aren't nice anymore and abuse them. Because they like abusive women. @aknight6214
I think you can balance being a nice girl and being a bad bitch. Its a time and a place for everything
I think some peoples needles are set to one side. Some people can switch back-and-forth but others just have one general disposition.
@@LoveAndSnappleagreed! The issue is when people don’t have boundaries or a backbone regardless of whether they’re “nice” or a b
Exactly!!
People really get hung up on the "mean" part, I think. They think it means going over the top, or playing hard to get, or doing an act. It's simple: do you know how LITTLE you have to do as a woman to be considered "mean"? Not laugh at every joke out of obligation, be honest/blunt, don't perform your emotions, have and enforce boundaries? Literally just look out for number one? It takes so little effort to be considered a difficult woman. The only hard part is unlearning all that nice-girl crap that gets us jumping through hoops. Stop caring so much, focus on yourself, detach from any outcome involving a man, and they'll line up to be the one to get you to care. It's that simple.
It's exactly that, just being yourself and men will consider that as mean
@@thesevenkingswelove9554 It's almost pathetic really. I've gotten those drunk, late-night rambling texts from guys going on about "you scare me, I've never met anyone like you, you're this and that and you don't care". And it's like .... I'm literally just standing here, please get it together 💀💀
@@TheGhostofAbigailMills 😂😂😂
That is a very good observation. Just have standards, boundaries, don't fawn and don't be afraid to make fun of the guy a bit.
It’s not about being mean or crazy for me. It’s having boundaries and saying “no”. I remain extremely nice but I’m naturally “mysterious” and when I feel like a guy is pushing my limits, I speak up sternly. I don’t do wifely things because I’m not a wife. Men need to earn my servitude. They always get shocked and either don’t like it or say, “that’s not you”. I get infuriated when I hear that. You don’t tell me who I am. You’re the fool for thinking I was a doormat 😂.
I wish I could love instead of like this comment 😂
@@bellatheb3autiful835 😂 Thanks girl! ❤️
Yeah I was a doormat for years not with blokes but with other people. I learned when someone asks for something never say yes which was my knee jerk reaction (due to trauma). I now say “depends on what it is” or “I’ll help if I can” meaning if I want to.
That last two sentences! Same! It’s annoying!
Imagine having to be mean to be picked by men...
Exactly too much work- men are like a job
It's pathetic.
Thank you!!!
Everyone wants to be picked lets be for real
@@viciousreasoning504 no we don't
Men respect women who hold them accountable and call them out on the BS. They do not respect women who allow them to walk all over them, which is usually what nice girls do. If you value yourself, you will behave, not like the latter. Im a nice girl, and i did finish last bcos I let people take the piss. When I started knowing my worth, I started putting my footdown now im married. Im still very caring and loving, but i demand respect, care, and love no exceptions.
Yep , but all that works for women who want to deal with men - I can do all that and still curve them as I am no longer interested in dating them anymore
But it gets old past 25.; The older you get you want peace
Idc about getting married or dealing with men
@@Emilyb21-dm3bf exactly I'm 35 and want peace nor care what men want
But I think your last sentence sums it up. That you can still be a nice girl without having to be a “nice girl“.
I will just continue to stay single. I'm not about to be mean and play mental gymnastics in order to get a romantic partner. Men who like this kind of womanly behavior are emotionally unintelligent and immature which is what I don’t need anyway.
You can still be kind, confident, and intelligent without acting like a 15 year old teen girl having a tantrum when she doesn't get her way.
I will continue to be nice at all times. A real man will one day appreciate it. A man who likes drama is a guy to stay away from. I don't want dysfunctional relationships, I want mentally healthy relationships. So If I have to remain single because I refuse this foolish behavior, then so be it.
Totally agree
I'm a nice girl, and I won't be changing for any man. Starting my single story, and I hate dating all these horrible men who want bitches. I'm not a bitch, and never will be. Let men have their bitches, because, i'm done dating it's crap in 2024. Single is where I'm staying I'm not into mind games ❤❤❤
This , this all it is 💯
Facts where I'm at
Well said and everything u said is 💯facts ❗️
Another point. Don't change for a man. He will find you wearing short dresses, wearing stilettos and wearing 30inch frontals. He will try to change you to long dresses in public, flat shoes and natural hair girl. Nothing wrong with both but never allow him to be reason why you change
When you are only nice, you trigger their unconscious fear that you will be nice to any guy
Exactly boundaries are important
Men who arnt confident want someone who doesn't think their good enough. A woman who does they don't respect because they think they are not good enough as themselves. Better to choose a confident man that has a exciting life holiday fun that does not need anything but you to be you. No games. Because he's who and where he wants to be.
I think people who are too nice come across as desperate and not genuine as you think that they are after something. It's actually very uncomfortable on the other foot. We are not one dimensional, and God made us with many different personality traits. Therefore, to only see one personality type all the time, just seems unnaturally weird. I would think that, once I made a serious commitment to you, you would change. Which happens a lot when men marry women.
Then you need therapy
You're describing an insecure man. And therefore one who is not worth being in relationship with.
As a nice girl, I met a nice guy and we’re happily in a healthy relationship. Go where you’re appreciated. Don’t change for stupid people..
where did you meet him?
@@kaycampbell364 we met on Bumble ☺️
My ex never cared about me in the relationship. Never cared enough to give gifts or celebrate anything, but the last year when I suddenly stopped caring, he did get me gifts and love bombed. I left a week after his first gift to me. Realized I couldn't care less about him.
I declared divorce, and received flowers for the first time in seven years (7yrs total, 3 years married). I'm not a big gestures kind of person but the fact that as I'm walking out I was now worthy of bigger gestures? It digusted me so much. I think that's when I realized that I didn't have to care whether I was at actually not caring or not lol
Similar with my first bf. He started chasing me hard and trying to act like a doting boyfriend only once I broke up with him. I also had another bf who told me he wanted a little more drama, because he got along with me too well and I was kind and communicated. It's strange, but it explains why men tend to bring unnecessary drama into women's lives.
This is all so funny when you remember how many guys are like "girls are all drama, they don't say what they really mean/want, I don't want any of that". Maybe some really mean it tho 😅 Many guys do want peace and quiet, but they don't tend to be the type to make statements quite like that. The world is complicated.
When i stopped being a sweet little doormat who gives multiple chances, shares money, and has infinite patience is when i ended up with a man who actually does respect me. I was a pick me and it got me literally nowhere because men find women like that replaceable. Most men don’t actually want someone who’s just easy and agreeable.
Im not mean to my husband but i dont let things slide the way i did with previous relationships, and i feel like he respects that and appreciates that I have a voice and boundaries.
SAME 💯
Do those kinds of men really respect you, though? Or are they waiting oh, so patiently for that moment of weakness before they pounce? I say it’s the latter. Stay safe out there, ladies. And STAY ALERT!
Nice and no boundaries are not the same. You can still be kind and sweet and maintain your boundaries.
@lightoverdarkness3078 You can't be nice to men they don't appreciate nice- doesn't matter how well you treat them they'll treat you like shyt 💯 and idk why women deal with them thinking a better response
@@lightoverdarkness3078you keep focusing on semantics.
I would never let anyone affect my character
I don't date anymore being nice and good doesn't mean anything to men when you're a not a whoremonger. I had men tell me if you won't give me the goods I'll get it elsewhere and they chased easy women. I officially stopped dating in 2014 and never been happier. Being nice doesn't mean anything to men these days. My boundaries are up with men too many issues with them !
I agree I left my ex recently too and ever sense then my boundary has been up.with all of them so I moved out and got my own place now it's peaceful in this room and I can just look for a second job and focus on building up my finances so I can pay off my debt sometimes if you take interesting jobs like this and your always busy this will keep them away from you because you will never have time to stop and talk if he asks for a lighter you don't have one never have free time for them and this will really piss off some of rude ones too that think panhandling will make them successful.
@unicorn73212 Yep I'm focused on education, finances, and other goals - going back to my business for extra money not relying on these men for shyt and building myself up
@@unicorn73212 I stay clear of men as most don't offer anything, but bs and drama anyways no additional in my life and blocking my flow
That's right
And then what? Change your entire personality for a dude? The wrong dude at that. The right person will value your niceness. However, the majority of men are the wrong men.
BUT THE GAG IS. YALL HAVE DONE SUCH A THING FOR MEN 😂😂😂😂
"However the majority of men are the wrong men"
😂😂😂😂😂
Excellent!
You don't have to entertain unhealed people. Just be kind and only spend time with other kind people. People who will return your kindness in full do exist.
I agree with you 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Exactly 💯
Sounds like some of them are wanting to trade one toxic dynamic for another.
Why would you want to attract someone who wants to be treated like ish?
Being confident and having firm boundaries, not being desperate and protecting your peace would probably work just as well. If someone wants me to treat them poorly to date… not interested.
But being confident and having boundaries isn’t mean at all.
I remember I went on a date from Tinder. He was love bombing me and all of that. I told him straight up. I don't stay out after 10PM. After I told him that, the conversation started to become dry.
I don't kiss and I definitely don't F on the first date. Anyway I'm celibate.
Been too nice to people who were not deserving. Now I’m neutral. I match energies.
I'm stealing Neutral a great balance between nice & nasty 😂. I'm not gonna match energy, but I will act accordingly 🙏🏾❤️
Humanity is a mess
I’m actually not a nice girl lol. Like I’m kind and compassionate and empathetic but I am very blunt and real and will not let a man walk all over me. I have been labeled mean for not allowing men to treat me like shit lol. I’m also not that agreeable.. I’m logical lol
Let men do all the work that’s the only thing that they respect
@roxyortiz8819 they’re used to acting a fool unchecked
Girl preach I’m the same way. I’m not nice but kind and empathetic. I’m blunt straight to the point. I tell folks I’m not the one to play with. I am a ♉️♉️for a reason.
@@babou5694 girl me too! Taurus energy!
@@babou5694You’re a Taurus ♉️ too?! Cool! We let we them know we don’t take 🐂💩, and they hate that 😂😂😂
Period
I'd rather not be toxic
Noticed. Most really nice and empathic girls in my school are single, whetever they are searching for a guy or not. Maybe its because being caring, emphatic and so on and forth is just really not outshining the more "brutal" women out for men. Of course bad bitches would get more attention! They are usually more loud and asservative, which is okey! Problem is only there, if the guy leaves his girl for the drama, then complains for it. But honestly, and? If those men are leaving the genuelly nice and lovely girls, its their loss. Then they really shouldn't whine why those women might be more cold hearted towards them if things go south. To all the empaths: You deserve better. And if a man cannot give you the same energy back, it just means that you will find your love, meaning, strenghts or whatever elsewhere. Somewhere definitly more productive then a man child still seeking drama. If a man left you for someone else, it just means he is sinply not for you. Its not on you, genuelly good people are never the problem, never forget!
Men tell women that they shouldn’t have been playing the field, and should have went for the Nice Guy who liked them all those years ago instead. But they never apply that same thing to themselves.
They want to go after the mean women, get played, be on child support, and then come crawling back to the nice girl, who he hopes is still single.
@@LoveAndSnapple Yes, exactly! Well said! The hypocrizisy always amuses me. What women need to know is that most men cannot love. Most are so rooted in narcissism, and we all know how that's basically incurable, or almost unmanageable. Most Men won't change, only go worse. And women need to move on, be hard on them and never, ever expect from them the better!
@@LoveAndSnappleExactly.
There is no problem with being nice and loving towards a man you love. If he perceives it as a negative! It’s HIS ISSUE. He showed himself as someone who doesn’t appreciates intimacy and you should move on to someone who could actually participate in a loving relationship.
True
I agree. You will start of nice and kind and the love of the wrong man will turn you into someone you don’t even recognize!
YEP YEP happened to me lost myself dealing with men never again !
Being mean gets you nothing but a degenerate and no real close friendships.
Throw it away 🚮.
What does being nice get you? 😂 I'll wait
Neither gets you anywhere, we’re all doomed.
Is there really any hope for us nice girls, especially empaths? It’s crazy I had this conversation yesterday with my aunt I was like men love witches. 🤣
Unfortunately they don’t cherish real loving caring empathetic women and it’s sad.
Time to get in touch with that dark feminine energy hunny 😈
Dear, there's plenty of Hope for nice empath ladies! We can have all the Fun in the world , no one takes that away from us.
"Men don't want nice empath girls" translates to " there's substantially less drama, less violence, less trouble for nice girls in this world "
Yes but make sure you remember to take care and time out for yourself and let a partner know if you're near burnout. They may not see ot if you don't say it out loud
@@sakurakitsune6947well that’s certainly a positive way to look at it!
That sounds to stressful.
Men like to “win” so most of them like to chase and “win” the chick that was hard for them to get.
The problem is when they’re tired of losing they make it EVERY woman’s problem.
This sounds pretty bad. Somethings in relationships can be tough already, now a female has to fake being mean when it's not even her natural way? Uggghhhh what the entire fq?!?!
The message here aligns perfectly with one I learned from a previous video:
"I'm their biggest cheerleader. I hype them up, point out everything positive about them. And it gets to their head. They think they're all that and that now they can do better."
So yes. Unfortunately kind and giving people (especially ones with people pleasing tendencies like myself) will be walked all over.
One minute they want a nice girl, next minute they dont, lemme just get myself a cat im tired of the flip flopping just go therapy and address your insecurities and issues instead of expecting a woman to play detective therapist😭😭
Exactly the key they need therapy
It's the "how to be mean to your love interest" guide for me chile! 😂
😂😂😂
I had to tell my mom (67) that having a ma is not a flex anymore
Girls, it's not it's a job even when you get one
I think this is generalizing. Only the wrong person won’t value you when you’re being your authentic kind loving self. With that being said, you need to know your worth and assert boundaries with EVERYONE.
I’m sorry but I’d rather be nice. To me, being a mean girl rubs off as a negative spirit on you. Have boundaries yes but you shouldn’t have to change who you are for others, ESPECIALLY for a man.
Don’t be “nice” be kind, when EARNED and their intentions are proven.
Being nice irks my spirit 😂 how bouh dah?
This sounds like unnecessary trouble. 😩
pick me girl
cool girl
nice girl
don't make yourself just for a man
you are a human being as well
relationships are not the be all end all
don't make that the center of your life
Any of y'all ladies that have decentered men and don't care what they think of you, hit the like button ⬇️
I still enjoyed the video and comments, thank y'all
Same because idc about men wants , needs, marriage , or any of this
I’m ashamed to say this but one of my ex tried some slick sh!t and I pulled a unloaded gun on him, after he ran half naked on the streets, this man came back and took me to dinner, bought me shoes. P.S he didn’t cheat, just said some stupid stuff.
😳😳😳😳😳👀👀👀👀👀
Girl you're not that crazy... Otherwise that would make me crazy as well 😂
@@MW-rn1vgunless yall were threated I fear you may well be 😅
@MW-rn let’s just say I saw red lol. I broke up with him afterwards cos I knew then if a man could get me to that point he wasn’t worth it. The stupid fool was trying to get back with me 🥴 like I didn’t threatened his ssa
omg...I wish I could had seen that....LOLOLOLOLOLOL.
Yes this is very true and I hate it and will not play the devils game. You can be nice without taking care of a man too.
3:34 the only men who want chaos are devils agent and aren’t qualified for healthy relationships.
Yes to devils agents or narcs.
This is just too much bullshit. I don’t want to have to neg a guy to get him to like me. I’m a giver, so I have decided to give my love and affection to people and creatures who deserve and need it - children, rescue dogs and elderly folks. These men can eat it.
I've come to the conclusion that sometimes wounded, dimwitted, traumatized people act exactly like they are wounded, dimwitted and traumatized.
This exact stupid behavior.
These kinds of people can be completely and absolutely stupid.
It's like they believe they deserve hell and nothing better.
Or, he's just trying to break you.
At some point, you will love yourself enough to just be yourself.
You love him how you love him and be kind to him if you think he's worth it.
If he doesn't like it that you're being kind to him, that's his own demons and his ancestor's demons.
It doesn't have to change who you are.
Never stoop to that level of stupid.
Yes, have boundaries but don't become mean just because some asshole is too insecure to see their own worth.
People love to be traumatized and to perpetuate trauma and drama because they're too immature to do better.
I'm not becoming something I disdain just so some half wit can like me.
At my Death bed I do not want to have any regrets about my behaviour or my choices. So, no.
I'm not becoming mean just so some fool can find an excuse to cause me drama.
I like peace and quiet and serenity and growth and maturity .And the Golden rule.
If you're not bringing that to my life, disappear.
I naturally do not know how to be a mean girl and i hate that for me. Its even hard for me to focus on more than one man at a time
Don’t be a mean girl then. Be who you are there nothing wrong with that. I wouldn’t recommend anyone be to mean just to attract a man. But you do have be assertive & set boundaries. Don’t just let someone walk all over you.
You don't have to be mean. Hàve boundaries and stand firm on them. And be very stern when a man does some shit you don't like. That's pretty much "mean" to men.
Called my dude out and Broke up with him cause some minor stuff he repeatedly does (NOT CHEATING/ NOT ABUSE) went silent for a week and he comes back with a bouquet of roses and a puppy… like what????
Gotta keep them on their toes
Puppy? Yeah nothing like using a real living feeling being like a gift and not a lifelong expensive responsibility. I wouldn't look at a man that treats animals like that, if they are just replaceable tools to them - so will you and your kids
@@margodphd People give puppies as gifts all the time, there isn't anything wrong with it.
These men sound like men who haven’t worked out their issues and men like that are not relationship material. If you notice you have to do any of these things to make them respect you then leave. Exit left. Do not waste your time. Relationships are not that good that you have to put yourself through this toxic drama.
Nah I just think they like the idea of the chase. They'll get bored with you once they catch you. Just like they were bored of the 'nice' girls. I don't think men really know what they want. They don't really want a relationship, they seem to look for thrill more than anything.
Ehhhh, to me it seems as though you're altering yourself in hopes of manipulating a situation to go in your favor, especially if you aren't really a "mean girl". All for some guy who will be up for the challenge long enough for you to drop your guard.. And then what? Will the 2 of you keep playing the game until one of you gives in or up? 🤔 I'll pass. All you really have to do is take note of the red flags. People usually slip up and reveal themselves without the antics.
Yes, in general nice people finish last. But being disrespectful is rooted in human nature. I mean, children naturally try to push your boundaries and need a proper education to behave. The problem is that not everyone recieve this kind of education resulting with immature adults ready to exploit other for their own interest if no rule is set. That's why communicating is important to detect those red flags. Also it's better to not give husband/wife treatment until the other show real commitment
Exactly. Humans are naturally aggressive
Many people don't know how to receive true kindness and care. But also, overextendeding yourself is not the same thing as being generally kind and caring. If you lack boundaries, you will get walked over every time. People have "nice" mixed up with pushover.
Play stupid games you win stupid prizes 😂
There’s a different between being kind and a nice people pleaser. Nice people are usually pushovers no back bone and lack boundaries I use to be one it’s not a good thing to be. KIND people are nice but have boundaries and aren’t afraid to stand and speak up for themselves that’s what people respect. Choose being respected over liked the people that will accept they can’t get over on you will stay around and like you
This is why I don’t care about dating anymore. Just trynna have hella money and stay close to my family
No do not listen to that man with the fro. What hes teaching is abusive. This man needs to grow up
I agree 💯
3 words… Too,Much,Work! Not worth it imo
Nice people finish last in everything.
This is deep and true. I have experienced it. Thank God I have matured and have learned. Personally, I couldn't do the mean thing anymore, it was too much for my nature. For me. it was exhausting. When I saw certain characteristics from him. I just bounced. It surprised me how they came running. I just ignored them, kept it moving. My brother gave me that advice and I saw that he was right in the long run. Luckily, I have a 20 year marriage with a beautiful man now. We are kind to each other.
You didn't just bounce 😂😂
Don t listen to these toxic game rules, that toxic men play with women too. When you have to play these games he isn t into you. Get over it and look for the next one. But don t be nice just to be nice too, he must diserve you to be nice, and respekt you having your opinions and listen to you explaining them. Be no Pick me, be yourself. He has to add value to YOUR life, if not, stay single
This concept is toxic though lol. Respect yourself ladies
I’m a natural giver and carer and I am slowly getting rid of my pick-me habits (which have led to nothing but misery). I will still be kind and nice when someone is deserving of it but I can’t picture letting a man near me again romantically. They seem to drain all the good from your soul and enjoy leaving a shell. Since I’ve started being more aloof and very direct with them I have had more interest 🙄 as per this video. Which is fine, it’s gives me an opportunity to practice being assertive at saying no. I no longer project my own overthinking onto men either; they don’t think like us or care as much. A few are decent but it’s rare.
The saying treat them mean keep them keen seems to be true.
I'm not a pushover but I'm not playing the game of being a mean girl to get a man. I feel like if we have to play games, we're not for each other.
You can be a nice person but not a good person. So be both.
You can't be fake mean bc they will see through that! My meanness is authentic and comes from deep within! Lol!😆😆😆
😂
💀😂
Disgusting.
@@HenrySimmons1225 😈😈😈
Is that how twisted mankind has become? So sad...
Being nice doesn’t mean you’re a push over
Dude in the purple ain't interested in ladies!😏😒😏😒
It feels like you have to keep your guard up cause you get soft they take the micky. Its exhausting. Just pick a normal guy whos not drama. Its gets old quick anf you cant relax into it to be soft
This IS normal for guys. Good guys generally like this drama, too. Most men have a hunter's instinct and low emotional intelligence, so they can't bond deeply and need to constantly be on the prowl to avoid boredom. You have to give them something to hunt by always making them think you can leave and don't like them too much, and other nonsense games. If you relax, they start checking out and taking you for granted. The percentage of guys who are any different is probably 1%. It is exhausting, yes, which is why I'd rather not bother.
@@ds37215 Exactly - hammer meet nail. They only go after nice girls as a last resort/safety net to use and take for granted. They don't actually love and respect these women more -- they're just there for their convenience until they find something "better".
Being 35+ reading a book too teach you how to be mean to men is weird
Hun… u never stop learning. 35 is young, u got a lot to learn
@roxyortiz8819 Yes this is the point.
I want to read this book not to play games with men but to understand their weird mind and see red flags faster@roxyortiz8819
@@MukyuifyHave you decentered men if so this ain't an option and neither are men
@@77kc_77 yeah you're right too. And lol, did yt deleted my comment? Insane.
Why im not nice to men or women its games out here!!
Don’t run off a “good man” with this bs. A healed man will not tolerate this! All you have to do is stay firm on your standards and boundaries and don’t ever bend. Also, mean what you say and say what you mean. He will not take you serious if you don’t stand on BIDNESS 👛💅🏾💕
I don’t care what a man likes. I am Me. Get to know me. If you like me great. If not I understand. Simple as that
Yea this is a bad take. Hard miss. This is just manipulation 101. If you’re a sweet person or kind, be that. Be clear with your values and boundaries, and NEVER take advice from people who tell you to change yourself in order to preserve toxic dating culture. We need more lovers, not sadists. Severely lost the plot here.
So this why men act like im flirting with them when Im genuinely cussing them out and being mean (because they did something wrong to me 1st and Im reacting) smh I dont want to be with a man that I have to treat like shit in order for him to love me, he needs therapy
Toxic evil people like toxic evil people or dysfunctional
The only people that we can give out the love we have is to our babies…oh well, I ain’t got a problem with that. We know it’s not in vain when we love on our kids. Anyway, grandmother used to tell me to give ‘em hell if i told her about a boy I liked and you can’t beat ‘em off with a stick when you do that
Only children and pets
Ok, so I'm not saying this isn't accurate, but I am saying it's bs. Nice is not the opposite of confidence and dismissive, rude and manipulative is not the same thing as confidence. What all this actually shows is that dudes are not interested in making a human connection with a woman. If he doesn't want someone that likes him, hypes him up, and supports him, that's probably about deep seated childhood trauma and feelings of unworthiness. It is not a rational or normal response from a healthy individual. The answer is not to stop being nice. The answer is if a man (or anyone really) does not appreciate who you are as your authentic self, they aren't your person and you need to leave him tf alone. If he gets disinterested when you are loving and sweet to him, the net result is going to be a relationship with no loving and sweetness because his trauma responses make that situation intolerable for him. So off the top, he is eliminating the good, fulfilling, life-giving parts of the relationship because for him, it's transactional, and he does not gaf about you or your feelings at all. If he cared about feelings, he wouldn't want you to be mean to him before he'd respond in a wanted manner. If a man doesn't like you being nice that is a huge effing red flag, not just how men are. It is vulnerable to both give and receive love, compliments, help and support. If he is not capable of being vulnerable, he literally cannot connect with you on an emotional level and is therefore using you, not having a romantic relationship with you. He is dangerous and he is exploiting you. This trend might be true, but it's indicative of a real deficit in the skills of men to be in reciprocal relationships. If a dude hasn't done the work to be emotionally mature enough to be resilient and handle vulnerability, he is not fit to be in a romantic relationship, full stop. Women need to start treating these things like the deal breakers they are. It is sooooo much better to be single than to attach yourself to an emotionally immature man who refuses to do any introspection, which is most of them.
Very well said.
That what I think if he likes you bc u r mean and don’t like him back he is the issue
I'm a nice person but when you cross a line with me, I'm done and there is no going back. I cannot tell you the people who were outraged I wouldn't just get over it and give another chance. They feel entitled when you are nice to unlimited chances, and this is both men and women. I keep my circle tight because I don't have time to be a doormat. And quite frankly it is nice to not be everyone's damn therapist.
Me and one of my male friends argue about this all the time. Even though he knows and admits that the women he chasesare bad people especially to him.....
And those same men end up punching the air when they get those same women pregnant and now they’re stuck with a mean-spirited baby mama for life.
That’s when he starts to wish for peace and starts crawling back to that no drama nice girl.
Not true. There is nice and being a push over. Alot of women were push overs.
Is there no such thing as a regular person who doesn’t play games?
Legit, they want you to care about them and when you do they don’t want it. Wtf
Just to say thank you for your videos Priscilla, and that your message and your demographic is universal. Makes me glad and happy to hear your kind and intelligent voice. Love and respect from a sister on the other side ( of the world, age, colour), very proud to stand with you.
Thanks sis 🤗❤️❤️
I'm naturally nice, but noticed when in relationships it gets me cheated on. Also horrible tips bartending. Switched to mean with guys and customers and the difference was astounding. They don't deserve nice!
Priscilla is so pretty. Very wise too.
Remember too that men remember every indignity they have visited upon you. Everytime they have used you and abused you and got away with it, they lowered your value internally.
I worked for an extremely wealthy white woman who could buy ANYTHING she wanted. She’d buy her kids houses the way you buy a dress anywhere they wanted yet she’d been married twice & she’d never been happy.
All her friends that she hosted in the charity galas & soirées were nowhere to be found when she was old & ailing.
I believe in living my life. I’ve no need to go to parties where my skin color is not even needed.
I’m also easily bored 🥱 when in places where there’s incessant chitchat & meaningless conversations going nowhere. I like dealing with people individually on a 1:1. That’s why even clubs or nightlife doesn’t hold much thrill for me.
Also we all respond to consequences so if you don’t hold men or anyone in your life accountable then what do you expect. Human beings will walk over you if you allow. Same applies to kids. Hold yourself accountable to people & hold them accountable to you. That’s part of personal growth.
But you're still wanting his approval and validation by manipulation it's no different. You still are a pick me you're just like...hiding it.
Yeah I don’t know about this. I’ve had it happen to me before but those men are just weird and not relationship material. My dad loves my mom who is a nice woman, and that’s because he’s not immature or emotionally stunted
This appeals to the part of human nature that wants what we can’t have. Bottom line is that you don’t want someone who doesn’t show you respect unless you resort to manipulative tactics. Not only are you compromising your morals, but you are also setting yourself up to get hurt. A guy that doesn’t show you interest unless you act uninterested or mean to him, lacks self esteem and respect for himself. And insecurity in men tends to present itself differently sometimes than it does for us. Collectively if we are insecure we try to prove ourselves.. or excel in other areas to compensate. But men.. atleast from what I’ve seen they will take it out on you.. they will try and bring you down not to their level, but beneath them so that they can feel a sense of power and control. They will cheat on you because they are trying to fill a void on the inside that will never be filled. A man that not only accepts, but chases women who are mean to him or disrespects him, does not respect himself.. so why or how could he respect you? You don’t need change in that way just to be with someone. Stay safe out there ya’ll 🤞🏿
Also, as long as you love yourself and you adhere to your boundaries, there are naturally going to be situations or moments in your life where you may come across as mean. You do not have to manufacture this, it will happen organically. Not compromising your standards and setting/ reinforcing boundaries will ultimately get you respect. Being willing to walk away will get you respect. That’s for any aspect of life not just relationships. Ultimately focus on what you want, not what someone else is responding to. Bc if you put on an act just to get the guy you want, but that’s not authentically you, you are going to stretch yourself thin trying to maintain that position until you either can’t anymore, or something happens to where it doesn’t work out. I implore you all, don’t do this.
U have boundaries then they like u. They pick the nice one bc it’s convenient while they chase the B but men like this are broken n they wonder Y they failed they relationship. U want also a men who respect himself enough to get a women who has boundaries and carácter she does not need to be mean. If I’m mean I don’t like u
I've been following content on this channel for a few months now and I'd like to thank Priscilla for sharing Tiktok clips with the content creator's names showing so I can sse this content. It's good to see content and listen to prespectives which differfrom the anti woman content all over social media. It's refreshing to hear views which call out toxic male behaviour and this coming from a man 👏
Trust me ladies I’m a nice woman and I’m married you can find your Prince Charming 👑✨ continue to be nice and have ya boundaries set and in place! Never change❤
9:27 this is so dumb. Don't play stupid games, just find someone who is emotionally available / with secure attachment, even if it takes you years to find them. You'll avoid sooo much drama and tears
that first stitch with the woman in pink and glasses, was on point. I actually know a man with this type of background and he is a NIGHTMARE.
Your subscriber growth has been phenomenal ever since you put it out there that you want to get to 50k in a few months. Congratulations! Keep going!
Thank you I appreciate that ❤️