What’s hilarious is, we celebrate Independence Day every year. Ask them the next time they use the term, “Why is it a national celebration, if there’s something wrong with it?”
Yes it is absolutely a no win situation. That is why we should be independent and nurture strong friendships with women and gay men. That way if you need “man strength” for something, you have a great man friend who’s not trying to trick you into sex. But you will always have amazing people to lean on if you need to (and they won’t be pretending just to get in your pants).
I'd rather be an independent woman and take care of myself than be a codependent person who is dependent upon a narssacist. I no longer involve myself with low-value men.
Agreed they can't just let women to be women they want women to be fake superficial narcissistic gold diggers because independent women pay there own way. None of them actually love women they mock women for being kind, hard working and more attractive than them but sense men have already destroyed there reputation as providers they can never be independent like that because they were raised by mothers that coddled them.
Agreed there's nothing embarrassing about it if your more attractive, healthier and better at saving money then men. The reason men mock women for it is because some of them still live at home with their parents and siblings after the age of 40 but they call themselves superior to women even though some women moved out of there parent's house at 18 or 19. They never look at the parts where they were proved wrong just the parts that make them look superior to women that's another reason why I believe a patriarchy system wouldnt benefit men as much as they think because some of them can't even pay the entire light bill. That's not how our fathers raised women either because it looks desperate and lame to mock independent women if there mocking them it's because there broke and they can't afford them because a woman like that who's making more money then him would expect him to out earn her and still help her with bills. That's why they pick low grade house wives to work for them because attractive women can usually offer more to the community then a house wife.. if she can't live off a rich man she will never want to live that way because if hes not rich enough to pay his wife like an employee he can't be a traditional husband.
@@1Skorpiano that’s how they lure your. The narc I dealt with spent 10k on a first class flight just so we could go on our first date. The second date he bought me designer shoes worth 1100$. He also booked me a suite at the Four Seasons. But by week 3 of us dating he started complaining about money (we wr at the gas station) and literally got mad and turned to me and was like “when are you going to start paying for things”. He spent that day telling me he was in debt of 500k blah blah blah. Men can groom you by love bombing you with lavish gifts & money but eventually the true colours will show and you need to run or you will end up in a morgue cuz he took a life insurance out on you 😫
I once met a man who first meeting started calling me "miss independent" every sentence ends with him referring to me as such, I told him to keep searching for miss independent because I am not her. I stopped picking his calls and left his messages unread, I know what time he was on and I am not on that time.
Brainwashing to make you subservient to him. They will say things like " you wear too much makeup" , "you are getting thick" , "you should grow your hair", " you should quit your job" all to brainwashed you into thinking you are less than and you need him. Overtime with repetition you start to believe it and get depressed.
I don't care how independent I am, if you aren't providing, then get out of my face. I was the woman who always was helping a man. They will gladly sit up, benefiting from you while saving their resources for the next chick.
He is absolutely correct. If you are an independent woman you will attract a lot of low effort men. Yes, be independent, make sure you can take care of yourself and don't need a man to support you. But don't advertise it. Keep it low key, or you are going to end up with guys who will enjoy using you.
This. All of this. Absolutely, 100% this. And you will find friends (and hopefully a guy, the looking is hard) who make it easier and who also don’t wish to use you (women need to not turn on women but we still do for low-effort/value men and that is hard but not the subject of this vid).
My money is where you lose me. I’m not taking care of a grown man & you shouldn’t be dating if you’re broke. I made a way for me you can make a way for you & I ain’t the way. I lose respect for men who say no one helps me. You’re a grown man! Help yourself! How are you as an adult looking for someone else to do it but you won’t. 😑 A man who needs my money or my credit is not the man for me.
This men also end up having babies with this women who are so wallet happy.Paying all bills , literally living off you,they make children knowing their kids will be good financially.Then they are off to play with women they truly desire . Don't provide for the provider!!
Some of these independent women can’t work while pregnant or get disabled and they really assed out some women don’t care what a man do for a living till they end up pregnant or in a bind because the whole reason why he got with you is because you didn’t need him for nothing.. if you doing it he has to be doing it too
FACTS!!! I fell for this. My children’s father loved that I was so self sufficient and I was gullible enough to see that as a flex. Once we had the kids we failed to pull his weight and told me with a straight face that I always have everything together and take care of everyone with ease so he didn’t think I needed help 😮. I’m very happily and peacefully single.
Why do people take Independence and run so far with it? An independent woman is someone who can take care of herself in the absence of a man that does not mean that she wants to overpower her relationships or anything like that people in general should be independent and able to take care of themselves that's how we survive this is ridiculous
You're correct. The ability to take care of herself financially gives a woman options; she can leave a bad relationship quickly and know she'll be good. Every woman needs to secure her just-in-case-he-starts-being-stupid fund and the ability to make money for herself.
Men are losing their roles and they're freaking out. Women took charge of their own lives, made changes and prospered. Men are complaining telling us to change FOR THEM😂 Thing is -we good. We don't want low effort Men with nothing and no ambition to evolve. We did and women are thriving.
I want a provider and will not settle for less, but if he left, I would be able to take care of myself. I’m doing it now as a single person, but I will only do it as a single person. The 50/50 life isn’t something I’m interested in, and I for damn sure won’t be providing for a MAN. Struggling while being with someone is wild, and I can do basic, average and broke by my damn self. Independence is something that is a necessity for every adult living on their own, so yes, I’m independent. But once I’m in a relationship, specifically a marriage, he will be the provider. Period.
07:37 "Men don't value the woman who gave him the most. They value the woman they gave the most to!" PREACH!!!!! Whenever I was the one paying for most things in my relationships with men, I never felt like my efforts were truly appreciated, and often were just taken for granted.
My father always tells me to never accept a man who only does the bare minimum while he's chilling at home you are working your butt off but have the never to say he is the man of the house.😻
Literally my spermdonor, lmao, hence why I call him spermdonor. He would do nothing all day long while Mom slaved away, but she had no say in the household she kept up. Best day ever when she divorced him.
They are trying to pivot the message 😂 Sir don't you realize that if I'm independent, he has to do MORE to be in my life because he's competing with ME. I'm more WORK, babe , but go off 😂😂😂😂
Yeah, if he's truly worth a darn he'll work hard to be on your level or above in some way so he feels like he can support you if you ever need it. Just watch out for the signs that he wants to be a kept man
@missfefeloves We all have to be independent adults, and when meeting people, you need to know what you bring to a relationship, and your partner needs to know the same. Too many people in relationships bring nothing and have no expectations, then wonder why you're miserable. You don't have to walk around screaming about being independent, but you better make it clear what your expectations are based on the life you've created for yourself, if you coming over here you best be here to ADD TO AND MAKE EVEN BETTER. When I met my husband, I made it clear what the deal was, and he could either get with it or get gone. He's exceeded my expectations. Because men need and understand clear communication. 9 years together, 6 years married and a baby on the way. So yea babe, that's exactly how it works. ❤️
@dreamsicle3113 This right here!!!! Nobody wants someone dragging them down , man or woman. I've worked hard and created this amazing life for myself if you're not here to ADD to it ... see yourself out. Period. Men need goals and standards, that's the problem women aren't holding men to standards anymore!!!!
I've heard...And experienced: "If a man compliments you as strong and independent -run, because he is about to work you to death" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I still laugh about this but also: There's praise....then resentment. "Not all...!!." I know, love. 🙂
This don’t just apply to the men you’re dating , this can apply to any man in your life look at Coi Loray and what happened with her father , bitter cus the girl didn’t want to give him the money she worked for. If you going to deal with men, make them pay for your presence
The betrayal of thinking Ne-Yo is “hyping up” independent women and he’s actually saying “I love her because I don’t have to do much” is outrageous😭 stay woke ladies⭐️ & I Love your content 🩷🩷
It screamed bum to me. And seeing how he is in real life, I’m not surprised. Ditto for the song he made with Jamie Fox, talking about “she got her own.”
This man told me that he loved that i'm an independent woman. I have my own place, career, and savings. I am in my thirties for context while he still lives at home and has never had a job. He is in his thirties as well. He joked, saying he would move in with me, and I said, "no youre not!" I want an independent man that has what I have, at least.
This may be a little unpopular but we, especially as BW, have to understand there is a difference between being independent and self sufficient. Being “independent” tends to come with the attitude of I can do it all myself don’t need anything from anybody . While self sufficient has the attitude of yes, I can do this but if you want to give me some help I’m cool with that too. Had a real life example a few years ago. At work had to move several boxes they were a bit heavy. It had to be done so me and my coworker were trying to get it done. A man from a different area saw us and asked if we needed help. I said yes and thanked him. He took the box I had and told my coworker he would come back for hers. She said she could do this and continue to struggle. In the time it took her to get that one box moved he had moved the one he took from me and the other one that was left. She was mad at me for accepting his help. Since we were “independent” his help wasn’t needed. My question was how did his helping dilute us being “independent?” She had no answer. Yes I could have carried that box but why struggle when someone is offering help and the offer does not require you to be diminished in any way.
I dumped a guy who kept calling me "Miss Independent", "Big spender", "Sugar Mama"... I just opened my wellness studio and was working 3 fulltime jobs. I was hustling and it was a stressful time. Our friends introduced us and he had a brand new constructed home, was retired early, traveled a lot..etc. but was so cheap.
fun fact: historically, "gold digger" was a term used mostly for men. The fortune-hunting types that marry for a woman's dowry so they didn't have to work or enlist. We're taught to picture a woman when that term is used, but men are just as likely (if not more so) to be money-hungry social climbers. I get the ick when my "independence" is brought up by a man. Because he's either negging me, thinks I'm low maintenance or he views it as a challenge. Either way, I react the same way when I hear about what a "strong black woman" I am, too. Any man viewing you through that lens is looking at you like a Duracell battery: how much can I drain from her before she's useless to me? I'll pass, thanks.
Something else I'd like to add is how Hyper Independence tends to be rooted in unhealed and unresolved trauma from past experiences. Unsurprisingly, lots of these are from people being entirely unreliable when the traumatized person needed them most. If you find this is the case for you, don't even think about romantic relationships for now. Focus on you, healing from your past, and becoming a better version of yourself. Only then can you decide whether or not you actually want a partner. Stay safe, and good luck out there! ♡
I am independent and will take it over being dependent on a low life any day.. Any man I bring around me is hired in to take care of things I can not and sent on his way..best way to live
We are kindred spirits. That is EXACTLY how I function around men because I have too much to lose. I care about my boyfriend, but we will never cohabitate. He has his home, and I have mine. We travel together, have fun together, and have a great intimate life. But HE pays for all dates and travel expenses even though I make way more money than him. I pay other men to do my landscaping and lawn maintenance, home repairs, and car maintenance. Life is peaceful.
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it..
there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
And as a woman you end up doing it all by yourself. Being an independent woman isn't all it's made up to be all the time. I would love to have someone to help in lifting the load. Ijs.
Hire somebody and get it done right. Get a dog/cat and a therapist if your still crying about it😂 if you don't you will settle for less than and hate yourself for allowing that man in your life
True for whatever woman allows this. I know breadwinner women who don’t pay one bill in their home (utilities, mortgage, rent) and I know breadwinner women who pay for the most. All of these women are married.
Don't forget "Independent" by Webbie! "She got her own house She got her own car Two jobs work hard you a bad broad" "She'll buy her own I don't think she'll never look In a man face standin waitin for him to take care of her She'll rather go to work and pay the bills on schedule" Just a few of the lyrics of that song too!
Well it's smart to not advertise it. Just don't say nothing. It was when I was independent and had money in abundance, that I got a man that wanted to do everything for me. Give me even more then I had.
It's true but Priscilla do we need a man mensplaining that to us? Why do we have to pay attention to men who create this feminist content just for grifting off of our trauma? 4:00 guys. 🤢 Cant listen. i have to fast forward. They are just saying what you wanna hear and get the bag.
Unfortunately she needs to balance her videos this way so no one flags her channel for being a “misandrist” one cus I have seen others have their channel demonetised because some men flagged those channels 😅 she’s being strategic I guess🤷♀️
I've been with my husband over twenty years. I was a business owner when we met. He said he was very attracted to my independence and my self-reliance. If I ever need assistance, he is absolutely there for me. As a matter of fact I'm starting a new business making furniture and he has financed it for the past 4 years. You just have to have the same standard. He also needs to be independent and know how to do dishes and cook and do his own laundry.
I am so glad we are talking about gold digging men. We need to because it’s easy to get trapped by one when you don’t realize they exist. I got caught up with one when I was in Atlanta. He suddenly couldn’t keep a job once he moved in. Couldn’t get a crib, couldn’t get a car. I was 19 when I met him and he k ew exactly what o say and do to get me hooked on him. To this day I regret not having deep female friendships back then. I guarantee any women in my life would’ve explained exactly what was going on. Decentering men has been the best decision for me mental health and overall happiness than anything I’ve ever done before.
I think we need to find a good balance. If a woman is too independent, the man won't put an effort, not even emotionally. If a woman is too dependent, men will abuse their power over her and flex that they feed, shelter her so she should be thankful and take the abuse. Be fully independent so that no man can control you, but learn when not to be independent so that he still works and puts effort for you.
@@atomic66 I think it should start with you realizing that you want to be independent, not HAVE to or forced to by your circumstances. Women who come from abusive backgrounds see it as a necessity to ecape abuse and they keep that mentality because they're afraid they'll fall back inot abuse again if they don't. I'm independent and deserve to be spoiled and pampered and cared for is a good mentality to have. You can sut with yourself and think and learn how to shut off your "miss independent" on command, be in control of your mentality, not the other way around. I'm working on it myself and I know it's not easy to achieve. But what helps is self love, I deserve to be cared for and be independent whenever I choose to be. Hope this helps
This is true. I recieved a lot of anger and verbal abuse from narc spouse for depending on him in anyway. Narcs want to take from u giving nothing in return.
A lot of women (myself included) are attracted to men who demonstrate stability, dependability, and security. Those characteristics are important to us, and money is apart of that. However, I feel like men aren't as attracted to those traits in women. I think a lot men who claim to like independent women, like them because of how they themselves benefit (paying for less, having to do less) but that doesn't necessarily make them truly desire those women more. They're not attracted to her displaying stability and security. It's more about how being with those women helps the man get to where he wants to be.
Those are called doormats. Independent women dont settle. They spot these men a mile away. More manipulation by some man. Nothing wrong with being Independent.
It's normal for a man to want a woman to have a basic level of self-sufficiency, but when a man leads with how much he likes to see women handle alone without help, that's a serious 🚩
Idk why women like being dependent on another adult for their basic needs of life. It’s 2024. Im 30 and since I was a teen I knew I wanted a career and to have my absolute own everything. I expect the same from anyone trying to pursue me. If you don’t have the basics or on my level, it’s a no. My Fiance is an engineer. Of course he has his own and still pays his and mine. My life is more than being dependent on a man for my quality of life while I stay home just to be a caregiver and maid. Independent women should be with other men in their tax bracket or hirer. Dead beat men shouldn’t be able to get close to you. I’ve seen 6 figure women be with men with nothing, not a car, home, job etc. No you’re not equally yoked. If you are a woman who wants a man to pay for your entire existence, then you have to be ready and willing for the consequences if he leaves. A man responsible for you eating will also be the reason you starve. Just date within your finances and spiritually likening. There are men who will use you for your independence. You need awareness and intelligence to see that a leach will try to suck you dry. He needs to match for fly. Period.
As a woman in construction. I disagree. The real men don't care if you independent or not. A real man going to add and not subtract from your life. You got to be weak if you let someone date you for money😅😂
We aren't talking about the good ones just most😂 all you see are women choosing to stay single and men mad about it. If a man is good and he actually gets a good woman nobody cares. They're fine.
Defenitely. My parents loved how independent and self soothing I was. Skills I only developed, because I had to (they proudly told me how I never cried as a child and wasn't interested in my parents. I just learned not to rely on them). And then I cut all contact with them and dissapeared, because I was tired of my abusive home situation.
8:59 “what ended up happening was that the man that I would date or meant that I COULD NOT depend on even if I wanted to because the *prerequisite to date me was not being dependable* “ This!!!
Not feed the ego so much as feeding the need to be wanted for who you are and what you can do instead of being taunted and maligned for it, which is what usually happens. The trick is knowing the difference between someone who is real and someone who fake and accepting that they say similar things.
Absolutely, and it's not always financially. sometimes, it's emotionally. These men go through their own traumas and don't heal. Then find a women who has and trauma dumps and expects them to fix it
@@nikkilong7377independent women give them a therapist number and moves on. They can spot a user that wants someone to use them for their resources and give them free therapy. Doormats will allow bs in their lives just to say they have a man.
I know quite a lot of men who call women gold diggers, yet they date women who pay drinks and all for them. I mean, I had women done that to me, but at least I am honest about it haha 🤭
Exactly... And all that tells me is Heaven forbid I become insanely ill and can't work, I know for sure that kind of man won't be standing by me and would let me die in the hospital!
This is sad to me because truly there are men who are compatible with independent women and can't connect with ones who aren't..... compatibility is vital
Speak for yourself. There’s NO WAY a man is having sx with me and I’m paying bills. he’s lost his darn mind. Even before he sees my upper thigh, his bank acc will know I was there.
@novastarburst3939 Nice way to try and gaslight. Call me what you want, but no man is using my body for free under the guise of a "relationship." I make way more money than my boyfriend (I'm a DNP), but he STILL has to pay for my time and body, and he happily does it.
What’s hilarious is, we celebrate Independence Day every year. Ask them the next time they use the term, “Why is it a national celebration, if there’s something wrong with it?” Every person taking care of themselves is independent. Dependents are FULLY taken care of by someone else. You aren’t a dependent if you work (to include taking care of children full-time).
Yeah, I've ran into several dates that soon love that I can pay bills,pay for myself when I go to restaurants myself, that I do a lot of things myself...then it's not long before I'm expected to pay for them too and they start losing jobs and habitually coming up shorthanded and expecting me to cover everything. Then I'm the rude, greedy heartless one when I quit having anything to do with them?
Well that's exactly how men view women who don't work outside the home. Traditional wife or stay at home wife doesn't exist in their vocabulary. To them she is just an unemployed burden.
There are two types and levels to *independence.* The type and level where even in a partnership you remain independent. The other is independent by necessity. But when you enter a relationship, you’re happy to relinquish some of your independence. All the while knowing you can regain it at any point.
I love that people are starting to wisen up and share their experiences w/ others. I’ve been independent for a while now but I will never “parade” it around or use it as a flex, cause it’s not. I mean honestly, being independent is normal, it’s just adulting; but when you say it too much and too loudly around the wrong people you will attract leeches, bums, & users and unfortunately women like myself who didn’t have others to teach her these things had to learn the hard way. So people, ladies especially, please take heed to the messages that stand out to you, it could spare you a lot of emotional, mental, financial distress.
Man that comes into your life is going to be one of two things. He’s either going to be an asset or a burden a man that is a burden is going to ruin everything that you have built and suck up your resources your energy, your youth, and your timeand it’s always the guys who wanna come in your life to be the burden are the ones that want to ask you stupid questions like what you bring to the table and what your body county is when they don’t even have a table or checking account
Speaking of Independent Women and Gold Diggin Men, have anybody Noticed how many men are Grocery Shopping and at the Shopping Mall with their Women arounnd Tax Season. The Men are saying "Now you Know Child Support took my Taxes" 😂
I love independent women but not because it means I have to put in less effort. I love them because they are likely passionate people with hobbies and aspirations. It’s why I’ll never have a “traditional” stay at home wife. I want my woman to have friends and go on trips without me and live cuz one day imma die and I don’t want her shutting down🤷🏿♂️ But I understand a lot of dudes don’t move like this
I love everything you just said. It's logical and the way it should be and reciprocated. People get into relationships and all of a sudden own that person, and they can't be around others. Even in a relationship we are still individual people having experiences and those who feel like "oh she's going on a girl's trip to cheat" because they saw someone else do it or heard about it, all of a sudden it's a general pop thing. When in reality they can't handle that because they know they don't have enough discipline to handle a vacation away from their person. My late husband was like that. It was such a huge issue with me having friends and he would be calling me if I'm at the store for 25 mins. But it was perfectly okay for him to be gone all night with no call or text and always with his friends. Thank you for saying this and representing a sane man's mind. I really was losing faith.😊
He’s right a guy kept on saying i like that u independent he just kept on saying that. I was like this dude got me messed up if he think he not giving up no money i got rid of him i know the game i know the tricks they use like hyping u up cause u make good money don’t fall for that. He make sure he find a woman who can pay her own bills so he want have to pay anything or u want ask him for anything.
The girl who spoke about narcissistic men was telling the truth! I dated one! He flew me out first class for our first date and bought me designer shoes. He paid for a suite at a 5 star hotel and spend THOUSANDS on me by our 2nd date. Fast forward to three weeks in, we wr at the gas station and he started complaining about gas he then turned to me and was like “when are you going to start paying for things?”. I was like what did you just say? And he quickly retracted. Long story short our relationship didn’t last 12 months because this man was counting every transaction and waiting on me to start giving him money 😂
I'm an independent woman and proud of it. What I'm not and never have been is stupid. I have never dated a man who can to quote Tyler Perry, "only pay the light bill". Especially not at my big age. No man is getting his legs under my table to nest.
being 54, I have had to try to "analyze" men the majority of my life, even when I played with them on the playground as a little girl and I have to say: I'm sick of it. Honestly. I refuse to live the rest of my years, continuing to do it. If I have to guess and he's playing around, then it's time to leave and go back to my own space. It's best to live alone.
When I’m on my own…I’m independent by design. If I’m in a relationship there should be no independence on EITHER side. If we don’t need each other what are we in relationship for?
I was this woman. My advice is don't stop going 50/50, don't stop doing what makes you proud. Dont let them take that away from you. Because he almost did. I almost lost the pride and joy I got from being a provider. But don't let them live in your house, make sure you know what their financial situation is and dont be afraid to be ruthless if you see them start to go down that slope. Even golddiggers do things. They shop and travel and keep their looks on point. Female gold diggers deliver and everyone knows what the transaction is. Male gold diggers dont shower and play video games and cheat. They dont even fulfill their end of the bargain.
I peeped that propaganda from the moment I heard those independent songs. Very low level manipulation that rotted the brains of many. I’m not so independent that I don’t need support and true partnership, so miss me. I’m not into the men that want superwoman mommy wife.
![mens obsession with humbling women [“i had to humble her”]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/jk8kAr3WAeg/mqdefault.jpg)
Don’t call me independent. I’m NOT. Get over here and fix this dishwasher.
😅 as a woman in construction....real men gone fix it regardless if you independent or not😂
I love this ❤
U can be independent and he can still fix it. Independence is self preservation
What’s hilarious is, we celebrate Independence Day every year. Ask them the next time they use the term, “Why is it a national celebration, if there’s something wrong with it?”
@@somebodycomelistentothispo7217watch the video again….
We already knew this. This is literally why we are independent to begin with. We can't rely on them.
Right😹😹😹🤦🏾♀️
😅😅😅
💯
Right? That's no revelation to most "independent women." They know how to avoid the losers.
That part!
Ne-yo said it best. She independent, pay her own bills, that's why he love her 😭😭
And we see his character and his relationship history 🙄
Oh no, I love that song for the nostalgia, legit thought he was just hyping up women and never caught it!
No mules here 😂😂😂😂😂😂
@dreamsicle3113 Because you like most BW don't understand BM and that's why you continue get played by them unfortunately.
@@hadijakalyegira4107😂
Be independent, you get hurt, not independent, you get hurt. Wtf
Verbatim! What she said👆🏽. Don’t be flattered by men period.
No, being dependent you can get hurt: you can't leave.
Be independent you can get hurt: you can leave.
Damn if u do damn if you don’t. Choose single life
Yes it is absolutely a no win situation. That is why we should be independent and nurture strong friendships with women and gay men. That way if you need “man strength” for something, you have a great man friend who’s not trying to trick you into sex. But you will always have amazing people to lean on if you need to (and they won’t be pretending just to get in your pants).
@@ZBM-jj1xr 👏 Very true. The only thing to be concerned about is safety when either woman decides to leave.
I'd rather be an independent woman and take care of myself than be a codependent person who is dependent upon a narssacist. I no longer involve myself with low-value men.
Amen 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Agreed they can't just let women to be women they want women to be fake superficial narcissistic gold diggers because independent women pay there own way. None of them actually love women they mock women for being kind, hard working and more attractive than them but sense men have already destroyed there reputation as providers they can never be independent like that because they were raised by mothers that coddled them.
Agreed there's nothing embarrassing about it if your more attractive, healthier and better at saving money then men.
The reason men mock women for it is because some of them still live at home with their parents and siblings after the age of 40 but they call themselves superior to women even though some women moved out of there parent's house at 18 or 19.
They never look at the parts where they were proved wrong just the parts that make them look superior to women that's another reason why I believe a patriarchy system wouldnt benefit men as much as they think because some of them can't even pay the entire light bill.
That's not how our fathers raised women either because it looks desperate and lame to mock independent women if there mocking them it's because there broke and they can't afford them because a woman like that who's making more money then him would expect him to out earn her and still help her with bills. That's why they pick low grade house wives to work for them because attractive women can usually offer more to the community then a house wife.. if she can't live off a rich man she will never want to live that way because if hes not rich enough to pay his wife like an employee he can't be a traditional husband.
Facts
Facts
Naw, if I’m independent, he’s gonna have to do more since I’m independent. He has to work and do more for himself since I won’t do it.
exactly. if i’m independent i don’t need you! impress me!! show some character
My money is mine, his money is mine too 😂
My husband gives me all his money and his truck is in my name. 👍👍👍
@@icantwiththis He got a brother?? 😆
Exactly 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Exactly ❤🎉💯
Honestly, lets just stay away from any man. I have not the nerves to guess which one is human ENOUGH.
Periodt
I'm not gay tf😅
@@Hardawayfits Okey, and? If you want to be with one sis, then good luck! But I? Hell no.
@@Hardawayfitssome of us love ourselves more than D
@@luciferia.1313 🤣 to each is own...we all can't be the same
Once a man start talking about I have money issues, I withdraw immediately. I can spot a scam a mile away 😂
Or the ‘my lease is up soon’ 🏃♀️😂
If hes broke on the first date. Run!!
Yup! They start with the “I have lots of debts”, ladies run because he will probably take out life insurance on you
@@1Skorpiano that’s how they lure your. The narc I dealt with spent 10k on a first class flight just so we could go on our first date. The second date he bought me designer shoes worth 1100$. He also booked me a suite at the Four Seasons. But by week 3 of us dating he started complaining about money (we wr at the gas station) and literally got mad and turned to me and was like “when are you going to start paying for things”. He spent that day telling me he was in debt of 500k blah blah blah. Men can groom you by love bombing you with lavish gifts & money but eventually the true colours will show and you need to run or you will end up in a morgue cuz he took a life insurance out on you 😫
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
if he says I like that you are strong black woman , RUN . I am soft and want a soft life 🎉
My response is, “No Sir, I’m a delicate flower.”
I agree. You should be insulted by the comment .
Flowers wither with time and get replaced with young fresh flowers😂 that's the mentality of a man.
PERIOD!!!!! "strong black woman" is NOT a compliment!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I once met a man who first meeting started calling me "miss independent" every sentence ends with him referring to me as such, I told him to keep searching for miss independent because I am not her. I stopped picking his calls and left his messages unread, I know what time he was on and I am not on that time.
He was trying to condition you... Not very subtle.
Brainwashing to make you subservient to him. They will say things like " you wear too much makeup" , "you are getting thick" , "you should grow your hair", " you should quit your job" all to brainwashed you into thinking you are less than and you need him. Overtime with repetition you start to believe it and get depressed.
Hahahahahahhahahaha 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I don't care how independent I am, if you aren't providing, then get out of my face. I was the woman who always was helping a man. They will gladly sit up, benefiting from you while saving their resources for the next chick.
Hahahahahahhahahaha 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
👏👏
Question: in this scenario what does your independence now mean
He is absolutely correct. If you are an independent woman you will attract a lot of low effort men. Yes, be independent, make sure you can take care of yourself and don't need a man to support you. But don't advertise it. Keep it low key, or you are going to end up with guys who will enjoy using you.
Yes, this comment is exactly it 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Yaass
This. All of this. Absolutely, 100% this.
And you will find friends (and hopefully a guy, the looking is hard) who make it easier and who also don’t wish to use you (women need to not turn on women but we still do for low-effort/value men and that is hard but not the subject of this vid).
This never let your right hand know what ur left hand is doing
Yes, all of this!! I can take care of myself, but I don't flaunt it.
My money is where you lose me. I’m not taking care of a grown man & you shouldn’t be dating if you’re broke. I made a way for me you can make a way for you & I ain’t the way.
I lose respect for men who say no one helps me. You’re a grown man! Help yourself! How are you as an adult looking for someone else to do it but you won’t. 😑 A man who needs my money or my credit is not the man for me.
This men also end up having babies with this women who are so wallet happy.Paying all bills , literally living off you,they make children knowing their kids will be good financially.Then they are off to play with women they truly desire . Don't provide for the provider!!
Some of these independent women can’t work while pregnant or get disabled and they really assed out some women don’t care what a man do for a living till they end up pregnant or in a bind because the whole reason why he got with you is because you didn’t need him for nothing.. if you doing it he has to be doing it too
I’ve seen this happen with my own eyes your so right
FACTS!!! I fell for this. My children’s father loved that I was so self sufficient and I was gullible enough to see that as a flex. Once we had the kids we failed to pull his weight and told me with a straight face that I always have everything together and take care of everyone with ease so he didn’t think I needed help 😮. I’m very happily and peacefully single.
Why do people take Independence and run so far with it? An independent woman is someone who can take care of herself in the absence of a man that does not mean that she wants to overpower her relationships or anything like that people in general should be independent and able to take care of themselves that's how we survive this is ridiculous
Say it LOUDER📣
You're correct. The ability to take care of herself financially gives a woman options; she can leave a bad relationship quickly and know she'll be good. Every woman needs to secure her just-in-case-he-starts-being-stupid fund and the ability to make money for herself.
Men are losing their roles and they're freaking out. Women took charge of their own lives, made changes and prospered. Men are complaining telling us to change FOR THEM😂 Thing is -we good. We don't want low effort Men with nothing and no ambition to evolve. We did and women are thriving.
Exactly, if both people aren’t independent then one or both are probably codependent. A healthy relationship needs two independent people
I want a provider and will not settle for less, but if he left, I would be able to take care of myself. I’m doing it now as a single person, but I will only do it as a single person. The 50/50 life isn’t something I’m interested in, and I for damn sure won’t be providing for a MAN. Struggling while being with someone is wild, and I can do basic, average and broke by my damn self. Independence is something that is a necessity for every adult living on their own, so yes, I’m independent. But once I’m in a relationship, specifically a marriage, he will be the provider. Period.
07:37 "Men don't value the woman who gave him the most. They value the woman they gave the most to!" PREACH!!!!! Whenever I was the one paying for most things in my relationships with men, I never felt like my efforts were truly appreciated, and often were just taken for granted.
My father always tells me to never accept a man who only does the bare minimum while he's chilling at home you are working your butt off but have the never to say he is the man of the house.😻
Literally my spermdonor, lmao, hence why I call him spermdonor. He would do nothing all day long while Mom slaved away, but she had no say in the household she kept up. Best day ever when she divorced him.
The crazy part is some of them will resent them for being independent cause they know they will have no control of them
They get mad when you don’t need them
They are trying to pivot the message 😂 Sir don't you realize that if I'm independent, he has to do MORE to be in my life because he's competing with ME. I'm more WORK, babe , but go off 😂😂😂😂
Nah that’s not how it works but stay independent 😊
Yeah, if he's truly worth a darn he'll work hard to be on your level or above in some way so he feels like he can support you if you ever need it. Just watch out for the signs that he wants to be a kept man
@missfefeloves We all have to be independent adults, and when meeting people, you need to know what you bring to a relationship, and your partner needs to know the same. Too many people in relationships bring nothing and have no expectations, then wonder why you're miserable. You don't have to walk around screaming about being independent, but you better make it clear what your expectations are based on the life you've created for yourself, if you coming over here you best be here to ADD TO AND MAKE EVEN BETTER. When I met my husband, I made it clear what the deal was, and he could either get with it or get gone. He's exceeded my expectations. Because men need and understand clear communication.
9 years together, 6 years married and a baby on the way.
So yea babe, that's exactly how it works. ❤️
@dreamsicle3113 This right here!!!! Nobody wants someone dragging them down , man or woman. I've worked hard and created this amazing life for myself if you're not here to ADD to it ... see yourself out. Period. Men need goals and standards, that's the problem women aren't holding men to standards anymore!!!!
@@BigFineDoll I agree with this
Run from any man who is making videos online telling women what to do instead of building something and running a business
i never listened to my daddy neither
Exactly.
The ones in this video were trying to warn us though and they were telling the truth by confirming our suspicions.
I've heard...And experienced:
"If a man compliments you as strong and independent -run, because he is about to work you to death"
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I still laugh about this but also:
There's praise....then resentment.
"Not all...!!."
I know, love.
🙂
This don’t just apply to the men you’re dating , this can apply to any man in your life look at Coi Loray and what happened with her father , bitter cus the girl didn’t want to give him the money she worked for. If you going to deal with men, make them pay for your presence
The betrayal of thinking Ne-Yo is “hyping up” independent women and he’s actually saying “I love her because I don’t have to do much” is outrageous😭 stay woke ladies⭐️ & I Love your content 🩷🩷
I always read that as a bum anthem.
It screamed bum to me. And seeing how he is in real life, I’m not surprised. Ditto for the song he made with Jamie Fox, talking about “she got her own.”
I wish we would change the narrative from Ms. Independent and define us for what it really is: SELF SUFFICIENCY!
Excellent point.
The Second Lady described a Nigerian scammer 😂😉. You gotta be smarter than these men
🤣🤣🤣 to the T
😹😹😹😹🤦🏾♀️
It’s not just Nigerians it’s American men too, it’s everywhere
@missfefe never said there wasn’t. I just know the tactics, I’m Nigerian myself 🤷🏽♀️
All the men worldwide.
This man told me that he loved that i'm an independent woman. I have my own place, career, and savings. I am in my thirties for context while he still lives at home and has never had a job. He is in his thirties as well. He joked, saying he would move in with me, and I said, "no youre not!" I want an independent man that has what I have, at least.
Are you still with him ?
@@ibabechanel No. We just talked for some months.
All I hear now is that men manipulate women regardless. It just depends on what they are in need of or what they want in that time of their life.
This may be a little unpopular but we, especially as BW, have to understand there is a difference between being independent and self sufficient. Being “independent” tends to come with the attitude of I can do it all myself don’t need anything from anybody . While self sufficient has the attitude of yes, I can do this but if you want to give me some help I’m cool with that too.
Had a real life example a few years ago. At work had to move several boxes they were a bit heavy. It had to be done so me and my coworker were trying to get it done. A man from a different area saw us and asked if we needed help. I said yes and thanked him. He took the box I had and told my coworker he would come back for hers. She said she could do this and continue to struggle. In the time it took her to get that one box moved he had moved the one he took from me and the other one that was left. She was mad at me for accepting his help. Since we were “independent” his help wasn’t needed. My question was how did his helping dilute us being “independent?” She had no answer. Yes I could have carried that box but why struggle when someone is offering help and the offer does not require you to be diminished in any way.
I’m the same.
Experienced this in my marriage. During divorce he tried to steal everything from me. Sorry dude.
Let him marry his mom, then don't have time for that joke. Am not your mom
Say it LOUDER📣
I dumped a guy who kept calling me "Miss Independent", "Big spender", "Sugar Mama"...
I just opened my wellness studio and was working 3 fulltime jobs. I was hustling and it was a stressful time. Our friends introduced us and he had a brand new constructed home, was retired early, traveled a lot..etc. but was so cheap.
fun fact: historically, "gold digger" was a term used mostly for men. The fortune-hunting types that marry for a woman's dowry so they didn't have to work or enlist. We're taught to picture a woman when that term is used, but men are just as likely (if not more so) to be money-hungry social climbers. I get the ick when my "independence" is brought up by a man. Because he's either negging me, thinks I'm low maintenance or he views it as a challenge. Either way, I react the same way when I hear about what a "strong black woman" I am, too. Any man viewing you through that lens is looking at you like a Duracell battery: how much can I drain from her before she's useless to me? I'll pass, thanks.
Something else I'd like to add is how Hyper Independence tends to be rooted in unhealed and unresolved trauma from past experiences. Unsurprisingly, lots of these are from people being entirely unreliable when the traumatized person needed them most.
If you find this is the case for you, don't even think about romantic relationships for now. Focus on you, healing from your past, and becoming a better version of yourself. Only then can you decide whether or not you actually want a partner.
Stay safe, and good luck out there! ♡
I am independent and will take it over being dependent on a low life any day.. Any man I bring around me is hired in to take care of things I can not and sent on his way..best way to live
We are kindred spirits. That is EXACTLY how I function around men because I have too much to lose. I care about my boyfriend, but we will never cohabitate. He has his home, and I have mine. We travel together, have fun together, and have a great intimate life. But HE pays for all dates and travel expenses even though I make way more money than him. I pay other men to do my landscaping and lawn maintenance, home repairs, and car maintenance. Life is peaceful.
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it..
there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
this is helpful, I will look her up. I hope this works for me too, I really miss her.
This Man is Absolutely Right!!! Run ladies!!!
He is correct, users/predators know the prey they are after. Pay attention ladies.
All facts! I’m not independent and I’m not STRONG! Come pay these bills and treat me like a princess, sir!
And as a woman you end up doing it all by yourself. Being an independent woman isn't all it's made up to be all the time. I would love to have someone to help in lifting the load. Ijs.
Hire somebody and get it done right. Get a dog/cat and a therapist if your still crying about it😂 if you don't you will settle for less than and hate yourself for allowing that man in your life
This is Exactly why I will never do 50/50 with a man.
Also we know our value - and have high standards an don’t need to lower them.
50/50 is just putting half of mens responsibilities on womens shoulders
@@rengurengeTHIS.
True for whatever woman allows this. I know breadwinner women who don’t pay one bill in their home (utilities, mortgage, rent) and I know breadwinner women who pay for the most. All of these women are married.
Don't forget "Independent" by Webbie!
"She got her own house
She got her own car
Two jobs work hard you a bad broad"
"She'll buy her own I don't think she'll never look
In a man face standin waitin for him to take care of her
She'll rather go to work and pay the bills on schedule"
Just a few of the lyrics of that song too!
Right although I like this song when I thought about what he said I was like now wayment na webbie gone on wit all that 😂😂😂😂
He basically saying that since you're so independent he feel he doesn't have to do anything but give u "MEAT"
Well it's smart to not advertise it. Just don't say nothing.
It was when I was independent and had money in abundance, that I got a man that wanted to do everything for me. Give me even more then I had.
It's true but Priscilla do we need a man mensplaining that to us? Why do we have to pay attention to men who create this feminist content just for grifting off of our trauma? 4:00 guys. 🤢 Cant listen. i have to fast forward. They are just saying what you wanna hear and get the bag.
Nope! We already knew this
Unfortunately she needs to balance her videos this way so no one flags her channel for being a “misandrist” one cus I have seen others have their channel demonetised because some men flagged those channels 😅 she’s being strategic I guess🤷♀️
@@missrain5164yes good point
Like Derrick jaxon😂
I've been with my husband over twenty years. I was a business owner when we met.
He said he was very attracted to my independence and my self-reliance.
If I ever need assistance, he is absolutely there for me.
As a matter of fact I'm starting a new business making furniture and he has financed it for the past 4 years. You just have to have the same standard. He also needs to be independent and know how to do dishes and cook and do his own laundry.
I am so glad we are talking about gold digging men. We need to because it’s easy to get trapped by one when you don’t realize they exist. I got caught up with one when I was in Atlanta. He suddenly couldn’t keep a job once he moved in. Couldn’t get a crib, couldn’t get a car. I was 19 when I met him and he k ew exactly what o say and do to get me hooked on him.
To this day I regret not having deep female friendships back then. I guarantee any women in my life would’ve explained exactly what was going on.
Decentering men has been the best decision for me mental health and overall happiness than anything I’ve ever done before.
I think we need to find a good balance. If a woman is too independent, the man won't put an effort, not even emotionally. If a woman is too dependent, men will abuse their power over her and flex that they feed, shelter her so she should be thankful and take the abuse. Be fully independent so that no man can control you, but learn when not to be independent so that he still works and puts effort for you.
THIS!!!!
How exactly does one do this?
@@atomic66 I think it should start with you realizing that you want to be independent, not HAVE to or forced to by your circumstances. Women who come from abusive backgrounds see it as a necessity to ecape abuse and they keep that mentality because they're afraid they'll fall back inot abuse again if they don't. I'm independent and deserve to be spoiled and pampered and cared for is a good mentality to have. You can sut with yourself and think and learn how to shut off your "miss independent" on command, be in control of your mentality, not the other way around. I'm working on it myself and I know it's not easy to achieve. But what helps is self love, I deserve to be cared for and be independent whenever I choose to be. Hope this helps
This is true. I recieved a lot of anger and verbal abuse from narc spouse for depending on him in anyway. Narcs want to take from u giving nothing in return.
Nicki Minaj got her ego fed 😂😂
A lot of women (myself included) are attracted to men who demonstrate stability, dependability, and security. Those characteristics are important to us, and money is apart of that. However, I feel like men aren't as attracted to those traits in women.
I think a lot men who claim to like independent women, like them because of how they themselves benefit (paying for less, having to do less) but that doesn't necessarily make them truly desire those women more. They're not attracted to her displaying stability and security. It's more about how being with those women helps the man get to where he wants to be.
Those are called doormats. Independent women dont settle. They spot these men a mile away. More manipulation by some man. Nothing wrong with being Independent.
They are telling no lies. Hearing a man say that is a turn off. Offer me the help so I have the option to turn it down if I dont need it.
Fr. I'm going to turn it down most of the time but it's nice to know if you need the help he wants to help you.
Woman said run away men in general
It's normal for a man to want a woman to have a basic level of self-sufficiency, but when a man leads with how much he likes to see women handle alone without help, that's a serious 🚩
Narcissist favorite words"I got you." Literally
Idk why women like being dependent on another adult for their basic needs of life. It’s 2024. Im 30 and since I was a teen I knew I wanted a career and to have my absolute own everything. I expect the same from anyone trying to pursue me. If you don’t have the basics or on my level, it’s a no. My Fiance is an engineer. Of course he has his own and still pays his and mine. My life is more than being dependent on a man for my quality of life while I stay home just to be a caregiver and maid. Independent women should be with other men in their tax bracket or hirer. Dead beat men shouldn’t be able to get close to you. I’ve seen 6 figure women be with men with nothing, not a car, home, job etc. No you’re not equally yoked. If you are a woman who wants a man to pay for your entire existence, then you have to be ready and willing for the consequences if he leaves. A man responsible for you eating will also be the reason you starve. Just date within your finances and spiritually likening. There are men who will use you for your independence. You need awareness and intelligence to see that a leach will try to suck you dry. He needs to match for fly. Period.
As a woman in construction. I disagree. The real men don't care if you independent or not. A real man going to add and not subtract from your life. You got to be weak if you let someone date you for money😅😂
Lol. I'm starting to think you're actually a man hiding behind that profile...
We aren't talking about the good ones just most😂 all you see are women choosing to stay single and men mad about it. If a man is good and he actually gets a good woman nobody cares. They're fine.
Same for parents who like independent children
Defenitely. My parents loved how independent and self soothing I was. Skills I only developed, because I had to (they proudly told me how I never cried as a child and wasn't interested in my parents. I just learned not to rely on them). And then I cut all contact with them and dissapeared, because I was tired of my abusive home situation.
@@Cyhcg5uhgb 🫂 💕
8:59 “what ended up happening was that the man that I would date or meant that I COULD NOT depend on even if I wanted to because the *prerequisite to date me was not being dependable* “
This!!!
Basically they feed her ego
Not feed the ego so much as feeding the need to be wanted for who you are and what you can do instead of being taunted and maligned for it, which is what usually happens. The trick is knowing the difference between someone who is real and someone who fake and accepting that they say similar things.
@@vangu2918 that’s feeding ego
Independent women attract dependent men
Absolutely, and it's not always financially. sometimes, it's emotionally. These men go through their own traumas and don't heal. Then find a women who has and trauma dumps and expects them to fix it
And he’s likely to be bisexual
@@nikkilong7377YUP!!!!
Independent women dont settle. DOORMATS SETTLE.
@@nikkilong7377independent women give them a therapist number and moves on. They can spot a user that wants someone to use them for their resources and give them free therapy. Doormats will allow bs in their lives just to say they have a man.
I know quite a lot of men who call women gold diggers, yet they date women who pay drinks and all for them. I mean, I had women done that to me, but at least I am honest about it haha 🤭
Also run from the ones that act a fool when you tell them no when they ask for money.
He ain't lying.
Exactly... And all that tells me is Heaven forbid I become insanely ill and can't work, I know for sure that kind of man won't be standing by me and would let me die in the hospital!
This is sad to me because truly there are men who are compatible with independent women and can't connect with ones who aren't..... compatibility is vital
we are all adults, we should all pay our own bills men and women.
Exactly
Speak for yourself. There’s NO WAY a man is having sx with me and I’m paying bills. he’s lost his darn mind. Even before he sees my upper thigh, his bank acc will know I was there.
@@ibabechanel So you're a professional :o?
@@novastarburst3939you’re weird, so were the housewives of the last century, professionals?
@novastarburst3939 Nice way to try and gaslight. Call me what you want, but no man is using my body for free under the guise of a "relationship." I make way more money than my boyfriend (I'm a DNP), but he STILL has to pay for my time and body, and he happily does it.
What’s hilarious is, we celebrate Independence Day every year. Ask them the next time they use the term, “Why is it a national celebration, if there’s something wrong with it?” Every person taking care of themselves is independent. Dependents are FULLY taken care of by someone else. You aren’t a dependent if you work (to include taking care of children full-time).
If I gotta do everything by myself, I'm gonna be by myself!
Yeah, I've ran into several dates that soon love that I can pay bills,pay for myself when I go to restaurants myself, that I do a lot of things myself...then it's not long before I'm expected to pay for them too and they start losing jobs and habitually coming up shorthanded and expecting me to cover everything. Then I'm the rude, greedy heartless one when I quit having anything to do with them?
If I were a guy, I'd want an independent woman to match my independence. I'd be looking for an equal, not a child to take care of.
Well that's exactly how men view women who don't work outside the home. Traditional wife or stay at home wife doesn't exist in their vocabulary. To them she is just an unemployed burden.
There are two types and levels to *independence.*
The type and level where even in a partnership you remain independent.
The other is independent by necessity. But when you enter a relationship, you’re happy to relinquish some of your independence.
All the while knowing you can regain it at any point.
I’m the 2nd one.
I love that people are starting to wisen up and share their experiences w/ others. I’ve been independent for a while now but I will never “parade” it around or use it as a flex, cause it’s not. I mean honestly, being independent is normal, it’s just adulting; but when you say it too much and too loudly around the wrong people you will attract leeches, bums, & users and unfortunately women like myself who didn’t have others to teach her these things had to learn the hard way. So people, ladies especially, please take heed to the messages that stand out to you, it could spare you a lot of emotional, mental, financial distress.
I'm an interdependent relationship girl....but totally fine being alone for life.
Waiting for a sweet drummer man....
I get the best because I am the best.💛
I happily bring nothing to the table. 🌻
Ppl love giving me things, ppl love me because i exist ✨✨
07:00- love her hahahaha! She's so right on the money.
Her affirmation is "I happily bring nothing to the table". 😆
To be fair, many men's ONLY requirement is youth, beauty, and fertility. You can't switch up the narrative when it suits you.
She got her own couch.. she got her own chair.. 🤣🤣🤣
Man that comes into your life is going to be one of two things. He’s either going to be an asset or a burden a man that is a burden is going to ruin everything that you have built and suck up your resources your energy, your youth, and your timeand it’s always the guys who wanna come in your life to be the burden are the ones that want to ask you stupid questions like what you bring to the table and what your body county is when they don’t even have a table or checking account
Speaking of Independent Women and Gold Diggin Men, have anybody Noticed how many men are Grocery Shopping and at the Shopping Mall with their Women arounnd Tax Season.
The Men are saying "Now you Know Child Support took my Taxes" 😂
That’s why I always hated those songs from Neyo. Men who think like that are not providers.
I love independent women but not because it means I have to put in less effort. I love them because they are likely passionate people with hobbies and aspirations. It’s why I’ll never have a “traditional” stay at home wife. I want my woman to have friends and go on trips without me and live cuz one day imma die and I don’t want her shutting down🤷🏿♂️
But I understand a lot of dudes don’t move like this
I love everything you just said.
It's logical and the way it should be and reciprocated. People get into relationships and all of a sudden own that person, and they can't be around others. Even in a relationship we are still individual people having experiences and those who feel like "oh she's going on a girl's trip to cheat" because they saw someone else do it or heard about it, all of a sudden it's a general pop thing. When in reality they can't handle that because they know they don't have enough discipline to handle a vacation away from their person.
My late husband was like that. It was such a huge issue with me having friends and he would be calling me if I'm at the store for 25 mins. But it was perfectly okay for him to be gone all night with no call or text and always with his friends.
Thank you for saying this and representing a sane man's mind.
I really was losing faith.😊
Exactly I absolutely agree
@@nikkilong737725 minutes! I take a whole 1-2 hours in the store. Especially, when I'm comparison shopping. 😂
There are non-broke men, with money, who will look for women to spend their money while the man is banking his money.
I'm 4B like In Korea....but that stands for For bag (only).
So true with those that speak of equality bs. So spot on .
Mrs Nicki Minaj for sure 😂
He’s right a guy kept on saying i like that u independent he just kept on saying that. I was like this dude got me messed up if he think he not giving up no money i got rid of him i know the game i know the tricks they use like hyping u up cause u make good money don’t fall for that. He make sure he find a woman who can pay her own bills so he want have to pay anything or u want ask him for anything.
I love being independent, but I’m 4B, so I keep all my earnings.
The girl who spoke about narcissistic men was telling the truth! I dated one! He flew me out first class for our first date and bought me designer shoes. He paid for a suite at a 5 star hotel and spend THOUSANDS on me by our 2nd date. Fast forward to three weeks in, we wr at the gas station and he started complaining about gas he then turned to me and was like “when are you going to start paying for things?”. I was like what did you just say? And he quickly retracted. Long story short our relationship didn’t last 12 months because this man was counting every transaction and waiting on me to start giving him money 😂
Thank you beautiful soul ❤🌹 I feel so seen with your content as a woman 🍒🌸🌺🥳🙏💙💜 send you love and light 🙋🏻♀️
I'm an independent woman and proud of it. What I'm not and never have been is stupid. I have never dated a man who can to quote Tyler Perry, "only pay the light bill". Especially not at my big age. No man is getting his legs under my table to nest.
❤❤❤❤
being 54, I have had to try to "analyze" men the majority of my life, even when I played with them on the playground as a little girl and I have to say: I'm sick of it. Honestly. I refuse to live the rest of my years, continuing to do it. If I have to guess and he's playing around, then it's time to leave and go back to my own space. It's best to live alone.
When I’m on my own…I’m independent by design. If I’m in a relationship there should be no independence on EITHER side. If we don’t need each other what are we in relationship for?
Exactly STAR!!!!!
I was this woman. My advice is don't stop going 50/50, don't stop doing what makes you proud. Dont let them take that away from you. Because he almost did. I almost lost the pride and joy I got from being a provider.
But don't let them live in your house, make sure you know what their financial situation is and dont be afraid to be ruthless if you see them start to go down that slope.
Even golddiggers do things. They shop and travel and keep their looks on point. Female gold diggers deliver and everyone knows what the transaction is. Male gold diggers dont shower and play video games and cheat. They dont even fulfill their end of the bargain.
I peeped that propaganda from the moment I heard those independent songs. Very low level manipulation that rotted the brains of many. I’m not so independent that I don’t need support and true partnership, so miss me. I’m not into the men that want superwoman mommy wife.
God bless that man that is trying to deliver those other men 😭