I understand. He is so amazing GOD HAS GRACED HIM WITH HIS MINISTRY GLORY HALLELUJAH. Just eat the elephant one bite at a time as you heal I take breaks and come back
I feel the exact same way. I went to the playlist section and scrolled down until I found one I thought would be good for me based on my journey of what I've already done or started. My goal this year in therapy is to heal my inner child, so I started there. Good luck on your journey and God bless you 🙏
I escape into daydreaming, youtube, movies, instagram. I could do that all day every day. My life crushed me conpletely a year ago and at 48 I'm done, I just need an exit, preferably a painless one. 48 years in survival mode with CPTSD and PTSD combined. I avoid people but cannot afford therapy. I've been very much into mindfulness and meditation for a few years but the pain is just too much, I can't handle it any more. I can't seem to move forward. My profession is basically dying, translating has been taken over by machines and I feel unemployable and a failure at this point. The worst is I can't force myself into starting anything new, the fear is so strong that I'd rather end things than send my resume or be tested and interviewed ever again. I don't want to prove anything to anyone, I just want to live in an old house somewhere far from people and civilization and die in peace. I want out. I desperately want out. If I could drink a magic potion that terminally ill are offered in some countries I’d do it without hesitation. Just give me the potion or access to sarco pod.
I’m sorry that you’re in so much pain and that your profession is dying. I would try to hang in there and keep watching these Tim Fletcher videos and also Alex Huberman ( I think his name is). I’m finding them so helpful to finally start to understand myself at 62 and to start to forgive myself (a little bit). ❤
Everyone is broken on the inside. The ones who think themselves healthy are the worst offenders because they will just blame you without any thought at all.
*The ones who think themselves healthy are the worst offenders because they will just blame you without and thought at all...* Yes, those are the ones who are damaged the most.
@TimFletcher I know you don't just do this for clicks, views, and subs, but as someone who has watched your channel from the time it was in the low triple digits or even double digits, I just want to congratulate you on almost reaching 100k! 🎉 Thank you for helping me and so many others for years. You never gave up, even when the numbers weren't increasing at a fast rate. I think that goes to show how much compassion you have for others and the amount of passion for the work you've been doing. Ever since coming across your channel and hearing how amazing your content is, I've been sending people your way and will continue to do so. You're so knowledgeable about the topics you speak about. Thanks for being... you. All the best to you and yours ❤
17:30 unconditional love teaches that you are lovable and enough. Give it to yourself now. Kindness is unconditional. Niceness can be conditional love.
I’ve been working on and off on recovery in 12 step programs for nearly 40 years. I’ve not made a lot of progress. Mr. Fletcher has a lot of prolific material. And yes it’s hard to know where to start. Just watching this one video is so overwhelmingly true that my first thoughts are suicide … like how the f am I ever going to get through this because it just feels like I am so incredibly lost at 68 years old. It’s good to hear but it’s overwhelming to see how much shame I live in and how weak my boundaries are, and how many characteristics of a traumatized person I in inhabit
I hope you'll stay with us. It can be very overwhelming bc he hits so many points so accurately. At the same time, isn't it validating in some way to finally have things acknowledged that you may have overlooked for one reason or another for all these years? It's never too late to remain or begin and remain in recovery. I remember feeling really raw, vulnerable, and confused after first seeing his videos. I never expected anyone to describe my childhood and my struggles so well, especially someone I've never met. If you can tolerate it, and haven't already, it may be worth watching more. Of course make sure you're in the right head space to do so, though. SI has been a consistent theme in my life and I hate that anyone else experiences similar feelings and thoughts. I hope things improve for you. Take care ❤️🩹
1 Peter 5:8 don't the enemy win, God calls you His masterpiece Ephesians 2:10 and He has a wonderful plan for us all at any age. I pray the darkness will be destroyed in your life and mind and your heart is wide open to King Jesus. To believe and trust in Him to give you life and life in abundance as He promises to those who put Him first. Praying for you.
Yesssss....I had no clue about boundaries until 40!!...and entered into what turned into a very toxic on and off 3-yr relationship....oh the lessons I have learned! ❤ TY for your videos...have been very helpful and chock-full of good info!
This is one of the scariest videos i have watched. At times I was shocked if this man has actually studied my life and upbringing secretly. Everything was so spot on and I have never felt so understood! Can’t believe I found this gem!
Wake up the people trapped in the cycle of abuse.Exactly ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️Takes two to tangle people, pleasers and narcissist float in the ocean of misery together, drowning users, one, blaming the other, 🚩PROCESS the trauma stop the cycle generational curses passed down from family to family stop the circle OF ABUSE , fake nice people and people pleasers love the beautiful lies narcissism saves them their empty lives.Narcissistic is a two dimensional twisted problem .Children that was abused grow up and attract the attention of narcissists like bees 🐝 to honey 🍯 Enablers with low self esteem. fake nice people with no boundaries keep giving energy and attention codependency people pleasers are feeding them ( DONT FEED THE BEARS PLEASE ….🐻😍🐻😍🐻Process the truth and trauma, so you don’t go back or attract more narcissist
Yes...Very TRUE!!! And...Strong sense of Identity/Christ Identity/Wise Mind/ Highest Self AND strong boundaries also work if you are already married to one. If they get physical and unsafe, Leave or remove them and stay SAFE.
All of this makes me soooo grateful for my Grandma. She was the only caring person in my family. I broke many of the generational cycles. Still unfortunately stayed/returned to my narcissistic now ex for 22 years. That caused CPTSD in my 3 kids and myself. We are now all healing.
I just discovered Mr. Fletcher this morning! OMG! I don't know WHY this guybgrabs me, but he DOES. I want to.give a Shout out to my Counselor, Ms. Dahlin, at my Program for pointing out the fact that I most likely suffer from CPTSD. Consider me a Subscriber! Thank you again!
Isn't it amazing to finally feel heard and be seen? It sounds like Tim probably described your childhood as if he was there watching? I was tripped out and confused when I listened to him for the first time and he described my childhood better than I ever could. I'd been in years of therapy, on top of other things, yet his videos were the cheapest (Free) and most therapeutic of anything, ever. I'm glad you found him. 😊
I understood now that my narc mother motive is to isolate us from world. Understood now all her actions have her single goal. I was going in circles maybe she pour dirty water on me and talk dirty about me to others behind my back because she too much anxiously worries about me. But not, she raised by convent sister. So now her goal is grooming and pushing us to be the convent sister who will serve only to her. Im 34 and my sister is 33. She almost succeeded.
To follow up on my previous comment… I have no intention of suicide, but I got to tell you the thoughts go through my mind. It’s so hard to be an adult with healthy boundaries. I pushed everybody away. I haven’t had a girlfriend in five years, and even before that, I could never make it work.I am constantly overwhelmed with shame and I’m in therapy in four different capacities and I while I see the truth to believe it in myself is hard. I pray to Jesus and still I feel like I’m lost.
I'm with you in so many ways. I haven't dared to even consider another relationship for years (abt 5, actually) bc I know I have so much work to do on myself in order to not settle or gravitate towards someone who's very unhealthy for me. Though I have no intent either, I don't know what it's like to NOT have SI. Mine began at 8 yrs old, possibly younger and landed me in the hospital at 10. I figured every kid thought and felt that way! I still feel lost and wonder if I'll ever find myself- whoever that is. I've learned to mask/ pretend for so much of my life, that I don't know who I truly am. I only knew how to care for and about other people. I feel like a baby with 30+ yrs of work to do in a short amount of time.
I feel like I've done a reasonable sentence. I tried my best but I had too many things stacked up against me. I'd be happy to be given a terminal condition and be able to live a few dreams. Living isn't for me. I just have to come to accept that God didn't want me happy and thriving. He wanted me to experience the negativity, doubt, inadequacy, inferiority, shame, anxiety and all the rest. Not everything was crappy, but it's been a mostly crappy life. I miss the peace of non existing and of not being conscious. A raw deal God gave me.
@@JustJ-Me Hi there. Every day I pray that my life would be shortened, I'd be happy with living just a few dreams, nothing crazy, evil or decadent. But I also try to dwell on what i do have rather than what is wrong or missing in my life. And it makes things better. I wish i had the words to be a blessing to your life, dear one. I wish you well.
@@Back_yard_garden Hi. I recall Joyce Meyer's words ''I'm not where I ought to be, but thank God i'm not where I used to be'' and it certainly applies to me. Always moved forward with a constant, strong wind facing me, upgoing uphill. l used to be extremely bitter, upset and angry with it. But I worked on my attitude, gratitude and taking at least some of my thoughts captive. Also, I've begged God for inner healing for years and years. And things *are* better. But I'd still like for life to go my way for a handful of months, take a few trips, kick some items out of my bucket list, all wholseome stuff, nothing that's not honoring God or that is offensive to God. And then be done with it. And I recognize that the times we're living in are trying for a multitude of people. We're in a transition, and what we're moving toward is cause for concern, not joy and hope. Anyhow, take care.
For God love the World so much that he gave his only begotten Son Jesus Christ that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life . If your reading this I wish you peace love joy healing and longevity
Wow 21:50… “Keeping family secrets” I was 4 or 5yrs old when my cousin who was an adolescent molested me!!. I remember telling my Mother what happened to me, she told me not to tell anyone or I would get a spanking/beating cause she didn’t want gossip in the family! That was the beginning of many years of sexual assaults and emotional abuse by many people in my life including teachers!!. couple years older than me
Thank you soooo much. The way you explain it so understandable en easy to follow, without making it unnecessarily complex is an amazing talent you have and for free too. I can listen to you for an hour without having to take break!! A million thanks ❤
In a nutshell, I come from a dysfunctional and psychologically abusive relationship with my father who was a covert narcissist and had robbed me of my of my self-worth, I was homeless with him for a very long time during my upbringing, I escaped that and went to go be with extended family that found me on the internet, I genuinely felt that I would belong with them and I thought they felt same way, but unfortunately what seemed like a gift from the universe, just turned into something that only contributed to my mental and emotional wounds, I was only with them for 3 months because of how difficult they were to live with, and how conditional their love and regard was towards me, couldn’t really be loved or accepted for just the way I am and only if I meet certain criteria, and had to constantly jump through hoops in order to be loved. It’s just really unfair to me how my upbringing pretty much got robbed by a narcissist father and is something no kid should ever have to go through, while my fully related brother got to have what they called a ‘privileged life’. Yet, some dumbass on the internet told me “who are you and why should you be loved and cared for” and even a former friend laughs at me and invalidates me saying “well they raised your brother and not you why do you think you deserve everything what he always gotten.” …but to me it’s just really unfair, my aunt didn’t even have any idea why I went to go be with them, even though she invited me and was like “why not come stay here?”. It has put me in a constant endless loop of rumination. I remember I stayed with a friend of mine and his family because his mom couldn’t sleep at night knowing that I was sleeping in a car in a parking lot somewhere. They treated me as equally as their 2 boys… I wanted that with my brother… every other kid gets to have a family home life, the most basic thing in the world… except for me I guess…
It's not only you. Life is not fair. Gotta make the best of it and come out better. CPTSD is the norm now. I always find out someone is suffering more than me.
@@CM7777... Sometimes I feel like my situation is so unique that nobody can really understand how I feel, but I find it comforting knowing that it isn’t only me that experiences these things.
There was no substance abuse when I was growing up. But there was a bit of fighting half the time. Screaming and slamming doors, isolation, loneliness, frowns and silence. Times where we wouldn't even apologize to eachother. I was young, I also behaved badly. Now I've dealt with alcohol and porn addiction for years, don't know if all of this classifies as cptsd 🤷
I'm not qualified to diagnose, but if you haven't read Tim's description for his channel recently you might find it helpful. Through watching his videos over the years I've learned that emotional neglect and/or abuse can be just as harmful as any other form of neglect or abuse.. perhaps even more so. 💁🏼♀️ If you haven't watched any of his other videos yet, imo it would be worth it. I think you'll find that you resonate with a lot of it. All the best to ya and I hope you find the answers you need. 💜
I am sure that my spouse is dealing with complex trauma from his childhood. Things have gotten so bad that we are now in the process of a divorce. Our children have been hurt so much by everything that has happened. I wish my husband could see what i see. He isnt a bad person and is precious in the sight of God. The problem is that he has been so damaged by his childhood that he cant see the people who really care about him. He cant or doesn't want to see that he needs help. He is a victim of his childhood. I understand that he is a victim of that, but i also understand that he has to choose to stop being a victim. He needs to face his demons and find a path to healing. We have all been hurt by his choices. We are learning to face what has happened and heal from our trauma. I pray that somehow he can find the way. He has to learn how to overcome, face his past, believe he is not who his parents said, and that he can stop running from himself.
Hi, I watched another video but it was from 4 years ago and I wanted to ask you a question. I have identified as codependent for 10 years, and have done lots of recovery on the building self esteem and identifying unhealthy relationships on my own. So I now have lots of skills around processing and nurting and supporting myself and also recognising when not to connect with others. But it only just occurred to me recently (last year) that I can't recover on my own. I have to learn to co-regulate with others. I find this terrifying because this is the thing that essentially is the problem. Do you have advice on healthy co-regulation?
it can be and it can even become. there for example is a study where they let people only train their right left for a couple of months and the left leg is just having the everyday life exposure. after a certain amount of time you can see that the dna of the muscle cells in both legs differ. So with depression it is the same. If your grandparents lived through the horrors of world war 2 for example, its highly likely that some of it will be inside your body.
You are correct. Depression is not genetic, but it can be epigenetic... and epigenetic traits pass on for generations until someone heals this trait with a new pattern of living / thinking
I find Tim Fletcher to be one of the few people who understand our issues and is really good at validating our feelings. However, despite knowing all of the issues we face everyday I don’t find it helpful as an action plan to improve our lives. Re-parenting to me is like asking a ‘D’ student in math class to tutor themselves. It’s not going to work.
I felt the same way! It's like....'why do I have to do this?!?...more rage & anger towards my 'narcissistic, detached, & turned a blind eye as I was raped/molested by her "Bfriend" for years' Mother!😮😢😡😤 There are solutions- Melody Beatty is another insightful author of, "Codependency No More". Among other great books. She's changed my life!❤🎉🎉😊
that's when you feel triggered and learned helplessness. Your Adult comes back to help you and you have to give yourself kindness & fierce self-compassion at the times when you don't.
Can’t believe how many apply to me. Unbelievable. I have a history of SA, bullying and a home where my dad yelled at my mom all the time and was unfair to her.
I can't decide where to begin with so many relatable videos, he has been very prolific. I feel a little overwhelmed.
I get you, take one at a time 😊
Sending healing your way.
I understand. He is so amazing GOD HAS GRACED HIM WITH HIS MINISTRY GLORY HALLELUJAH. Just eat the elephant one bite at a time as you heal I take breaks and come back
Sending you love and healing my friend 😊
I feel the exact same way. I went to the playlist section and scrolled down until I found one I thought would be good for me based on my journey of what I've already done or started. My goal this year in therapy is to heal my inner child, so I started there. Good luck on your journey and God bless you 🙏
Is there a framework how do you get empowered
This pastor got his stuff figured out!! How did he put things into such perspective!!😮😮
I escape into daydreaming, youtube, movies, instagram. I could do that all day every day. My life crushed me conpletely a year ago and at 48 I'm done, I just need an exit, preferably a painless one. 48 years in survival mode with CPTSD and PTSD combined. I avoid people but cannot afford therapy. I've been very much into mindfulness and meditation for a few years but the pain is just too much, I can't handle it any more. I can't seem to move forward. My profession is basically dying, translating has been taken over by machines and I feel unemployable and a failure at this point. The worst is I can't force myself into starting anything new, the fear is so strong that I'd rather end things than send my resume or be tested and interviewed ever again. I don't want to prove anything to anyone, I just want to live in an old house somewhere far from people and civilization and die in peace. I want out. I desperately want out. If I could drink a magic potion that terminally ill are offered in some countries I’d do it without hesitation. Just give me the potion or access to sarco pod.
I feel you. It's a hard and painful space to occupy; you just want to shrink into oblivion.
I’m sorry that you’re in so much pain and that your profession is dying. I would try to hang in there and keep watching these Tim Fletcher videos and also Alex Huberman ( I think his name is).
I’m finding them so helpful to finally start to understand myself at 62 and to start to forgive myself (a little bit). ❤
Sorry you feel that way❤❤❤I wish you will feel better ❤❤❤
May I recommend that you cease meditation if it mind-emptying and look into mindful meditation. Check out Dr. Greg Battaro.
And this is why sarco pods are dangerous,
Everyone is broken on the inside. The ones who think themselves healthy are the worst offenders because they will just blame you without any thought at all.
*The ones who think themselves healthy are the worst offenders because they will just blame you without and thought at all...*
Yes, those are the ones who are damaged the most.
@TimFletcher I know you don't just do this for clicks, views, and subs, but as someone who has watched your channel from the time it was in the low triple digits or even double digits, I just want to congratulate you on almost reaching 100k! 🎉 Thank you for helping me and so many others for years. You never gave up, even when the numbers weren't increasing at a fast rate. I think that goes to show how much compassion you have for others and the amount of passion for the work you've been doing.
Ever since coming across your channel and hearing how amazing your content is, I've been sending people your way and will continue to do so. You're so knowledgeable about the topics you speak about. Thanks for being... you.
All the best to you and yours ❤
right now, I am very very struggling with depression and CPTSD, my Mother and family members all Narcissists... Thank you for this video
The pain was too much for them to choose healing instead of breaking completely, understand this, and you will be closer to forgiveness.
@@FilippoKansikas❤
17:30 unconditional love teaches that you are lovable and enough. Give it to yourself now. Kindness is unconditional. Niceness can be conditional love.
Yes. Nice =/= kind. Nice =/= love.
I'm overwhelmed. He talks to the 12y old me.
I’ve been working on and off on recovery in 12 step programs for nearly 40 years. I’ve not made a lot of progress. Mr. Fletcher has a lot of prolific material. And yes it’s hard to know where to start. Just watching this one video is so overwhelmingly true that my first thoughts are suicide … like how the f am I ever going to get through this because it just feels like I am so incredibly lost at 68 years old. It’s good to hear but it’s overwhelming to see how much shame I live in and how weak my boundaries are, and how many characteristics of a traumatized person I in inhabit
I hope you'll stay with us. It can be very overwhelming bc he hits so many points so accurately. At the same time, isn't it validating in some way to finally have things acknowledged that you may have overlooked for one reason or another for all these years?
It's never too late to remain or begin and remain in recovery.
I remember feeling really raw, vulnerable, and confused after first seeing his videos. I never expected anyone to describe my childhood and my struggles so well, especially someone I've never met.
If you can tolerate it, and haven't already, it may be worth watching more. Of course make sure you're in the right head space to do so, though.
SI has been a consistent theme in my life and I hate that anyone else experiences similar feelings and thoughts. I hope things improve for you. Take care ❤️🩹
1 Peter 5:8 don't the enemy win, God calls you His masterpiece Ephesians 2:10 and He has a wonderful plan for us all at any age. I pray the darkness will be destroyed in your life and mind and your heart is wide open to King Jesus. To believe and trust in Him to give you life and life in abundance as He promises to those who put Him first. Praying for you.
Literally doing Gods work
Yesssss....I had no clue about boundaries until 40!!...and entered into what turned into a very toxic on and off 3-yr relationship....oh the lessons I have learned! ❤ TY for your videos...have been very helpful and chock-full of good info!
Agree welcome to the40 club
This is one of the scariest videos i have watched. At times I was shocked if this man has actually studied my life and upbringing secretly. Everything was so spot on and I have never felt so understood! Can’t believe I found this gem!
A conflict with a narc can not be solved! Run!!
No contact is the best solution
Wake up the people trapped in the cycle of abuse.Exactly ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️Takes two to tangle people, pleasers and narcissist float in the ocean of misery together, drowning users, one, blaming the other, 🚩PROCESS the trauma stop the cycle generational curses passed down from family to family stop the circle OF ABUSE , fake nice people and people pleasers love the beautiful lies narcissism saves them their empty lives.Narcissistic is a two dimensional twisted problem .Children that was abused grow up and attract the attention of narcissists like bees 🐝 to honey 🍯 Enablers with low self esteem. fake nice people with no boundaries keep giving energy and attention codependency people pleasers are feeding them ( DONT FEED THE BEARS PLEASE ….🐻😍🐻😍🐻Process the truth and trauma, so you don’t go back or attract more narcissist
Yes...Very TRUE!!! And...Strong sense of Identity/Christ Identity/Wise Mind/ Highest Self AND strong boundaries also work if you are already married to one. If they get physical and unsafe, Leave or remove them and stay SAFE.
Tim, how did you get into my brain & history!?! Amazing incite ❤ So grateful 🙏 for your info
Becoming a healthy adult - I never had a fighting chance in my mentally ill mother’s house😥😞
All of this makes me soooo grateful for my Grandma. She was the only caring person in my family. I broke many of the generational cycles. Still unfortunately stayed/returned to my narcissistic now ex for 22 years. That caused CPTSD in my 3 kids and myself. We are now all healing.
Thank you. ❤️🔥
You summed up my life in the first 3 minutes impressive 👏
This is one of the best breakdowns of the symptoms. THANK YOU!
Thank you.
I just discovered Mr. Fletcher this morning! OMG! I don't know WHY this guybgrabs me, but he DOES. I want to.give a Shout out to my Counselor, Ms. Dahlin, at my Program for pointing out the fact that I most likely suffer from CPTSD. Consider me a Subscriber! Thank you again!
Isn't it amazing to finally feel heard and be seen? It sounds like Tim probably described your childhood as if he was there watching? I was tripped out and confused when I listened to him for the first time and he described my childhood better than I ever could. I'd been in years of therapy, on top of other things, yet his videos were the cheapest (Free) and most therapeutic of anything, ever.
I'm glad you found him. 😊
I am very Happy, today, I choose to listen to your videos again ... I need listening to your video again
Thank you for this excellent message .
Thank You so much! This is going to speed up my recovery so much
I understood now that my narc mother motive is to isolate us from world. Understood now all her actions have her single goal. I was going in circles maybe she pour dirty water on me and talk dirty about me to others behind my back because she too much anxiously worries about me. But not, she raised by convent sister. So now her goal is grooming and pushing us to be the convent sister who will serve only to her. Im 34 and my sister is 33. She almost succeeded.
To follow up on my previous comment… I have no intention of suicide, but I got to tell you the thoughts go through my mind. It’s so hard to be an adult with healthy boundaries. I pushed everybody away. I haven’t had a girlfriend in five years, and even before that, I could never make it work.I am constantly overwhelmed with shame and I’m in therapy in four different capacities and I while I see the truth to believe it in myself is hard. I pray to Jesus and still I feel like I’m lost.
I'm with you in so many ways. I haven't dared to even consider another relationship for years (abt 5, actually) bc I know I have so much work to do on myself in order to not settle or gravitate towards someone who's very unhealthy for me.
Though I have no intent either, I don't know what it's like to NOT have SI. Mine began at 8 yrs old, possibly younger and landed me in the hospital at 10. I figured every kid thought and felt that way!
I still feel lost and wonder if I'll ever find myself- whoever that is. I've learned to mask/ pretend for so much of my life, that I don't know who I truly am. I only knew how to care for and about other people. I feel like a baby with 30+ yrs of work to do in a short amount of time.
Healing is a bumpy journey
Jesus is always around for us
✝️
I feel like I've done a reasonable sentence. I tried my best but I had too many things stacked up against me. I'd be happy to be given a terminal condition and be able to live a few dreams. Living isn't for me. I just have to come to accept that God didn't want me happy and thriving. He wanted me to experience the negativity, doubt, inadequacy, inferiority, shame, anxiety and all the rest. Not everything was crappy, but it's been a mostly crappy life. I miss the peace of non existing and of not being conscious. A raw deal God gave me.
I'm not religious or really even spiritual, but I second a lot of things you said.
@@JustJ-Me Hi there. Every day I pray that my life would be shortened, I'd be happy with living just a few dreams, nothing crazy, evil or decadent. But I also try to dwell on what i do have rather than what is wrong or missing in my life. And it makes things better. I wish i had the words to be a blessing to your life, dear one. I wish you well.
@@Back_yard_garden Hi. I recall Joyce Meyer's words ''I'm not where I ought to be, but thank God i'm not where I used to be'' and it certainly applies to me. Always moved forward with a constant, strong wind facing me, upgoing uphill. l used to be extremely bitter, upset and angry with it. But I worked on my attitude, gratitude and taking at least some of my thoughts captive. Also, I've begged God for inner healing for years and years. And things *are* better. But I'd still like for life to go my way for a handful of months, take a few trips, kick some items out of my bucket list, all wholseome stuff, nothing that's not honoring God or that is offensive to God. And then be done with it.
And I recognize that the times we're living in are trying for a multitude of people. We're in a transition, and what we're moving toward is cause for concern, not joy and hope. Anyhow, take care.
@@phoenixaz8431 Thank you for the kind words. I wish I had a way of fulfilling your prayers and dreams. Hopefully, time will be kind to all of us ❤️🩹
For God love the World so much that he gave his only begotten Son Jesus Christ that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life . If your reading this I wish you peace love joy healing and longevity
Wow 21:50…
“Keeping family secrets”
I was 4 or 5yrs old when my cousin who was an adolescent molested me!!.
I remember telling my Mother what happened to me, she told me not to tell anyone or I would get a spanking/beating cause she didn’t want gossip in the family!
That was the beginning of many years of sexual assaults and emotional abuse by many people in my life including teachers!!.
couple years older than me
Thank you soooo much. The way you explain it so understandable en easy to follow, without making it unnecessarily complex is an amazing talent you have and for free too. I can listen to you for an hour without having to take break!! A million thanks ❤
In a nutshell, I come from a dysfunctional and psychologically abusive relationship with my father who was a covert narcissist and had robbed me of my of my self-worth, I was homeless with him for a very long time during my upbringing, I escaped that and went to go be with extended family that found me on the internet, I genuinely felt that I would belong with them and I thought they felt same way, but unfortunately what seemed like a gift from the universe, just turned into something that only contributed to my mental and emotional wounds, I was only with them for 3 months because of how difficult they were to live with, and how conditional their love and regard was towards me, couldn’t really be loved or accepted for just the way I am and only if I meet certain criteria, and had to constantly jump through hoops in order to be loved. It’s just really unfair to me how my upbringing pretty much got robbed by a narcissist father and is something no kid should ever have to go through, while my fully related brother got to have what they called a ‘privileged life’. Yet, some dumbass on the internet told me “who are you and why should you be loved and cared for” and even a former friend laughs at me and invalidates me saying “well they raised your brother and not you why do you think you deserve everything what he always gotten.” …but to me it’s just really unfair, my aunt didn’t even have any idea why I went to go be with them, even though she invited me and was like “why not come stay here?”. It has put me in a constant endless loop of rumination. I remember I stayed with a friend of mine and his family because his mom couldn’t sleep at night knowing that I was sleeping in a car in a parking lot somewhere. They treated me as equally as their 2 boys… I wanted that with my brother… every other kid gets to have a family home life, the most basic thing in the world… except for me I guess…
It's not only you. Life is not fair. Gotta make the best of it and come out better. CPTSD is the norm now. I always find out someone is suffering more than me.
@@CM7777... Sometimes I feel like my situation is so unique that nobody can really understand how I feel, but I find it comforting knowing that it isn’t only me that experiences these things.
This was excellent! I can totally relate! I have been in therapy for over a year, so much to work through Thank you!
Thank you so much for these videos!
God bless you 🎉
Thank you ❤
love and truth
There was no substance abuse when I was growing up. But there was a bit of fighting half the time. Screaming and slamming doors, isolation, loneliness, frowns and silence. Times where we wouldn't even apologize to eachother. I was young, I also behaved badly. Now I've dealt with alcohol and porn addiction for years, don't know if all of this classifies as cptsd 🤷
I'm not qualified to diagnose, but if you haven't read Tim's description for his channel recently you might find it helpful.
Through watching his videos over the years I've learned that emotional neglect and/or abuse can be just as harmful as any other form of neglect or abuse.. perhaps even more so. 💁🏼♀️
If you haven't watched any of his other videos yet, imo it would be worth it. I think you'll find that you resonate with a lot of it.
All the best to ya and I hope you find the answers you need. 💜
@@JustJ-Me oh yeah 3/4ths of what he's saying sounds like me
Wow!! This is crazy…😢
I am sure that my spouse is dealing with complex trauma from his childhood. Things have gotten so bad that we are now in the process of a divorce. Our children have been hurt so much by everything that has happened. I wish my husband could see what i see. He isnt a bad person and is precious in the sight of God. The problem is that he has been so damaged by his childhood that he cant see the people who really care about him. He cant or doesn't want to see that he needs help. He is a victim of his childhood. I understand that he is a victim of that, but i also understand that he has to choose to stop being a victim. He needs to face his demons and find a path to healing. We have all been hurt by his choices. We are learning to face what has happened and heal from our trauma. I pray that somehow he can find the way. He has to learn how to overcome, face his past, believe he is not who his parents said, and that he can stop running from himself.
Holy S. It's like you know me 😳
Hi, I watched another video but it was from 4 years ago and I wanted to ask you a question. I have identified as codependent for 10 years, and have done lots of recovery on the building self esteem and identifying unhealthy relationships on my own. So I now have lots of skills around processing and nurting and supporting myself and also recognising when not to connect with others. But it only just occurred to me recently (last year) that I can't recover on my own. I have to learn to co-regulate with others. I find this terrifying because this is the thing that essentially is the problem. Do you have advice on healthy co-regulation?
Please seek help with a therapist who specializes in family systems and trauma ; blessings along your healing journey 🌻
Spot on, scary lol
I must leave my so called family Forever, that Hell
H I love you 😢
DEPRESSION IS NOT GENETIC!
Yes, it can be.
it can be and it can even become. there for example is a study where they let people only train their right left for a couple of months and the left leg is just having the everyday life exposure. after a certain amount of time you can see that the dna of the muscle cells in both legs differ. So with depression it is the same. If your grandparents lived through the horrors of world war 2 for example, its highly likely that some of it will be inside your body.
You are correct. Depression is not genetic, but it can be epigenetic... and epigenetic traits pass on for generations until someone heals this trait with a new pattern of living / thinking
Just a question. Has anyone watching this ever found someone who truly loved/ valued them? Or a friend, or an employer? I have not seen it
My therapist, not romantic. It's the person that made me feel safe and loved.
My sister, and a therapist. Both have passed away unfortunately…
But…. I LOVE chocolate bars 😭
Nothing worse than unrequited love haha
Why does the story of Christ reminds so much the story of a codendent person?
I find Tim Fletcher to be one of the few people who understand our issues and is really good at validating our feelings. However, despite knowing all of the issues we face everyday I don’t find it helpful as an action plan to improve our lives. Re-parenting to me is like asking a ‘D’ student in math class to tutor themselves. It’s not going to work.
I felt the same way! It's like....'why do I have to do this?!?...more rage & anger towards my 'narcissistic, detached, & turned a blind eye as I was raped/molested by her "Bfriend" for years' Mother!😮😢😡😤
There are solutions- Melody Beatty is another insightful author of, "Codependency No More". Among other great books. She's changed my life!❤🎉🎉😊
that's when you feel triggered and learned helplessness. Your Adult comes back to help you and you have to give yourself kindness & fierce self-compassion at the times when you don't.
You are not a helpless child anymore. Rise up and speak positively to yourself and you'll begin to feel a good change.
I disagree, his lectures have helped me immensely, I owe him a lot for sharing his knowledge. Thanks Tim, you rock.
Can’t believe how many apply to me. Unbelievable. I have a history of SA, bullying and a home where my dad yelled at my mom all the time and was unfair to her.