How To Find Love Again After A Break Up
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- Опубліковано 1 жов 2024
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www.JessicaBos...
Do you believe in life after love? Cher does, and I do too!
Hi I’m Jessica Boss, and I’m here to boss you around yet again with another video about relationships. If you find any of this helpful, please like this video and subscribe to my channel. I’m a relationship expert and I make videos about the modern dating scene. My solutions-based approach is to cut the fluff and focus on what you can do, right now, to make things better. So let’s get into it.
When we have a bad breakup it’s pretty easy to feel like it means we can never love or be loved again. But it really means the opposite. This is because if you found one person to love, you can find more, and now you’re single! The capacity for love and relationships is a learned skill and while nobody is perfect at it, the first step really is the hardest. The more you date, the easier it gets to do it again and again until you find the right person.
We don’t get just one chance. The only thing that can stop you from loving again is you.
This starts with, surprise surprise, no contact. If you’ve already cut off your ex, good. If not, do it now. You need them out of your life so you can move on. It’s a tough step but stop talking to them, texting them, looking at their instagram, everything. You can reconnect at some point down the line but while you feel like this, it’s only going to make things worse. Out of sight, out of mind isn’t necessarily true but if you’re looking at them, they’re going to be on your mind.
Next, I recommend therapy or writing. This is a great way to look at what’s causing you pain in a safe environment. Just sitting around and thinking about the breakup isn’t constructive. The benefit of therapy or writing is that it gets these feelings out of your head and makes them concrete so you can look at things more clearly and impartially. This is a key step in moving on.
When you’re exploring these avenues try to look at not just what happened by why it was so hurtful to you. Obviously having your heart broken is hard but often our pain can be magnified by the way we see ourselves, how much importance we put in relationships, and how past trauma and our upbringing affects how we relate to those we fall in love with. Figuring out the roots of our pain is hard but it can be extremely therapeutic and give us context. We can’t just magically stop feeling bad but figuring out why we’re in pain takes away some of its power.
Minimizing future pain isn’t about walling yourself off from other people. It’s really about taking an honest look at the relationship and what wasn’t working. Put aside your anger, your sadness and try to be objective. Since things are truly over and you know that you won’t get back together with this person, you have nothing to gain from self-deception or blaming. What really drove you two apart? The answer is rarely simple. Even if they ended it, you cheated, or they moved away, there are usually multiple factors at play on both sides that led to the breakup.
I want you to make a list now, without judgment. No one else has to see this list. It’s just a way to get your thoughts down on paper so you can see them. I want you to answer these questions. It can be helpful to not look at just this one relationship here but all your past relationships. This way you can see patterns forming and avoid them in the future.
This is a pattern that a lot of people get stuck in. This is because, as much as we may not like it, we need other people to survive. This is why putting up walls doesn’t work. You’re not an island. You can’t stand alone and the more you try to keep everyone out, the more vulnerable you will be when someone finally gets past your defences.
So instead of putting up walls, try to live with an open heart. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Date and interact with people who you’d otherwise completely avoid if only to see what it’s like. I think you’ll be surprised by what they’re really like. Don’t jump into anything but be open to new experiences. Try to look at every interaction like this: What can I learn from this person? This way, even if everything goes wrong, you’ll gain something positive rather than feeling like you wasted your time.
The more time you spend with people of all kinds the more you’ll find bits and pieces that you appreciate. This will make it clear to you what you really want in a partner so that when the right person comes along, you’ll be ready.
I'm 20.I loved a guy since I was 13. I thought he was in love with me too, at least that's what he said. It was an on again off again relationship until we finally broke up at 18. He was my first love and I thought I would be spending my entire life with him. I was so much in love with him that I just accepted him for who he was and never bothered about all the flaws he had. He made me feel special. But then he suddenly lost feelings for me, turned cold and blocked me. And then just after a few days of our break up, started making out with other girls.I don't know how can someone do that to the person who made them feel special. From 13 to 18, I always fantasized about us having that fairy tale love story . So When reality finally hit me, it was hard to swallow the fact that he is not even the person i have loved for 5 years, he is someone else and actually he was never in love with me. My whole belief system about love changed because of this. It's been 2 years, I have moved on with my life but I don't get attracted to anyone now, I don't care about finding love anymore because I have finally realized that Love is not everything, I don't want to get into relationships and don't even want to get married. I'm better single because My soul is done. But I just wanna say, that the fact that I won't be able to feel butterflies in my stomach for anyone now makes me sad💔
Do you want your ex back immediately, I know someone powerful who can help you get your ex back immediately okay
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@@destinyroyo1130 Thanks but I don't want to
Hey, pls don't say that. U'll be okay and find smn who really loves u ❤
It is so hard to open up again. It's been 8 months of break up and 2 months of no contact (radio silence) and I've dated a lot but failed to get into a relationship. I'm scared AF. I just don't want to get into that cycle again. I'm tired of failed relationships. I'm 26 and giving up. I need help guys. We were only together 11 months but I'm not getting over him. I moved on but getting into a relationship is tough. I keep thinking of the future disappointment
Focus on yourself, love yourself, and enjoy being alone. You learn the most about yourself being alone. The right person will come into your life at the right time. Good luck!
Julz 5oh thank you
Hi
@@Hopekayeny I think I like u
I think i might be able to help you
I am asking that how to love any random person again if you can't hate your first love....and your first love is something else for you and if you think you can't replace it with anyone??
How can I do justice to the second person if I feel that I can't love that person enough as I loved my first love.... how...??
What should I do...should I die??
feel u bro
i can relate bro
We could talk a long talk altogether guys.. :I
same here bro
May be you should still give time to explore yourself...
I mean, to clearly understand what you are, actually!
May be disconnecting from both and first give justice to yourself and give time to understand whom you actually loved.
(Oh and its been an year by now you texted this...Hope God has already shown you the way.)
Jaante ho we must forgive. Why god said us to forgive? God told us to forgive so that we might get healing. So forgive your ex. Bless your ex. God told bless those who persecute you.
I had a bad break up and finding it difficult to love again.
It's had to move on and get over the pain and emotions.
Am still thinking about her especially In the morning (she comes to my mind every morning )
Please how can get over that? We were together for over three years, living together and engaged for one year.
Thank you Boss
Hello to whom it may concern I can recommend you to someone great and powerful who helped me fix my broken relationship and I’m so happy my husband is back to me now and my family is settle through the help of a great man❤
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Your actually so beautiful
6
What do you do when you've done all these things but still feel fear and distrust to the idea of being vulnerable in a relationship. My last relationship became very emotionally abusive and gave me a sense of dating PTSD. I've been away from her longer than I was with her, but I can't seem to heal that one part of my heart.
Thank you so much Boss!!
and you look so lovely
My fear isn't refusing to date. It's that nobody is interested in me. I've tried searching I've tried putting myself in positions to meet people, I've tried all the dating apps and I never have any interest. So idk how to believe there'll be love again when nobodies even interested in dating me
My dear i can recommend you to the powerful man of God from Nigeria who once help me.
He is really powerful and he can help you.
Text him on whatzapp now for help
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How is that possible ?
Use the, "Eyes of Love", and you can find the Spirit you fall into. The Spirit was found in First Love; The Lover Doves within their, " One, and Only!". If you return back to your First Love, and Reproclaim your eternally assigned words, the Doves will return, or fall back into where they lost, or came out of it. Otherwise you must seek out those in the betrayals, or provings of their Love, which is done by looking into hearts that have fallen into the Spirit. Simply ask hearts, "How many times have you been in Love?". Those speaking as the betrayed within all of their lover proclamations have trapped the Spirit through betrayal. The Spirit is still within them (Torn Nest), and they are in Lover torn nest accessible for its powers by its spiritual energy capable of transforming, hence the Powers of Love are through Lovemaking, or powermaing. The great, "Fountain of Youth" is within, " All you need is the Spirit of Love", to create charged spirital energy through lovemaking; The great growing up of love fruits.
The Spirit is found within hearts that have fallen into it, First Lovers sealed, and are within those that have trapped it within all their lover proclamations, which they proved enabling its keeping provings. If you don't return back to your first love, and reproclaim your, "I Love You's!" you will need to seek out the, "Wisdoms of Eternal", where you must be taught the Knowing word of God (Love).
Obtaining the fruits of betrayed hearts is another path for you to find the Spirit. You will not be able to fall into it, but you can fill from the torn nests. Your, "One, and Only" keeps you bound throughout eternity, for the first love words are eternally assigned, and the nest of the dove is forever.
Making lovepower is done by finding those that state they've been in love once or many times, and all their entries led to a betrayal. These are open accessible lovers capable of power transforming through spiritual energy. You must arouse, incite, and grow these hearts up extremely then obtain the essence of love from their fruits (hearts). The charge is done within their hearts, which shoots down into their fruits where the essence must be placed within you either by mouth obtainment, or womb obtainment. It's a slow release, and you will need to powermake, or lovemake often to keep your youth, and beauty.
Believe what you will!
Hi, I stop chatting my ex boyfriend. Is it good thing to do.
Hi Hellen. It's definitely the right move to stop chatting with your ex. This will make it easier for you to move on and forget about him.
Hi text me on instergram @ccassaannddraa
I'm not ready to love again😭💔
Hello dear do you need any help I can help you out it worked for me what's app me let's chat better
You can find love again
What's app me let's chat better
. + 1 ...（213）.375 ... 6251
Don’t be a lame. Get out there and make it happen
How can you cut off your ex if you have kids together?
You don't cut them off but you keep contact to an extreme minimal. Only talk if its about the kids.
Why do people keep having children and then breaking up! Doesn't sound mature nor responsible!
@@svasianfilipiname6603 sometimes people have kids when their relationship is good and then a year or two later everything goes down hill. Its better they break up if its not working because its worse for the kid if its parents are fighting all the time and hate eachother.
@@autumnsewill5899 I know I sound like a naive teen but:
1.Why weren't they careful about who they had a child with in the first place?! ..I feel something as important as having a child in a way cements your relationship! Makes it even more special!..
2. I still believe a couple should even more so work on their relationship ESPECIALLY once children get involved!
3. The main reason I broke up with my longest ex a couple years ago was because he already had been divorced with a child and that was just something I couldn't accept! I truly wanted to be the first (and ONLY) woman that gave birth to some thing as exciting as bringing forth a new LIFE into the world! My parents only had children with each other and they are STILL married 46 years later! Why can't it be the same for today's adults??! I feel they give up wayy too easily on their marriages! I feel like that is what happend with my ex's ex-wife! She divorced him RIGHT AFTER giving birth to their son and getting her green card!
4. I am not talking about in the case of abuse but WHY ABUSE the one you love and has given birth to your baby in the first place?!! God damn! Way to destroy a special thing!
@@svasianfilipiname6603 again, some people literally think they will spend the absolute rest of their lives together and then their relationship burns out sometime after having kids. I agree with the fact that people need to work on their marriages but the second my ex fell out of love for me he treated me like absolute garbage and nobody should have to deal with that. Even if they have kids together.
hi ,I gone through to a lot hardships all though my life and at point i fall for guy and it was really toxic. relationship and he left me devastated for years I just close my up I meet ppl random guyz but never got that feel.. now I starting liking a guy he too like andi really want that feel of first love what would I do
vartika awasthi I’m going through divorce after 22 years. She cheated on me. My humble advice is learn about yourself as much as you can. If a person matches what you can accept then pursue. If they don’t, you have to make a choice to accept or move on. We all make the mistake of trying to change people. They won’t change; you can only change yourself. Best of luck to you.
Hope it works out for you. You deserve it.
Hi
Let's chat privately..WhatsApp 1(720) 623-5498
This helped me alot thank you
I know someone who can help you bring your lost love back
This gives me hope i can find love again
Thank you so much! Your videos just help me so much. ❤❤❤❤❤
I split with my ex 5months ago, after 8 years, but my heart is so broken it bleeds every day, often times i just can't take it... now the crazy part is, deep down i know we would not be trully happy, i was not happy, i did alot of mistakes , so did she, not cheating, just not good enough to eachother.. still i cant feel any joy now, or freedom, im just stuck in pain.. cant move on, it hurts..?
How are you feeling now?
Piotr Klejment happened to me today. 7 years together and then he told me things changed and his feelings changed. Mine dint i still love him and it hurts alot💔
I hope you are doing well now
Wow thanks for this useful post,how I wish I can get a love back
I think you can get love back
I hope you don't mind can we talk on Hangouts my ID is @isaacmoses457@gmail.come
Hope you’ve found love, peace and happiness again?
I'm 40 year old female. I broke up with my ex 7 months ago for cheating. We dated and lived together for 11 years. We planned to be married after I finished nursing school. I am moving on but it's so hard. I'm having a difficult time dating. Can you do a video giving advice for dating in older age. I'm new to online dating and it has been a nightmare. I often cry at night and just wish I just stayed with my ex then deal with the ghosting and disappointments.
@Josh Mcdean Really, it's been almost 8 months and my ex's new girlfriend lives with him. I would love to have another chance but I feel it's not going to happen. Do you think this person can help me?
@Josh Mcdean thanks. How do I contact this person that helped you?
@Josh Mcdean thank you so much
I"m 37 and am having the same experience. its a nightmare. I hate dating now.
I"m 37 and am having the same experience. its a nightmare. I hate dating now.
Thank you for this video it helped me
I’m Jada
I'm to get ova my ex and be with my life
When you don’t find happiness then you’ve to try as much you can to get over it.
I think I am in love with you....
haha she is cute tho
How do you get a date
I want someone that I can love, hold, cuddle, kiss, watch tv with, cook dinner with, go on walks, do anything and everything with. Someone who is smart, funny, just plain out beautiful on the inside and that can love me for me. I want to be loved as well as love them. Im the romantic guy... I want someone who is committed, loyal, honest, funny, loving, respectful, trust worth, can't wait to come home to me, secure in themselves, selfless, not so argumentative, willing to give 50% and I give the other 50%, can confide in, loves me as I love them. Someone that will still be there always and ever
If you’ve got this qualities feel free to message me on *6785048320*
Hi I want to love again add me up on WhatsApp +1(508) 297_7373
Hello i think i can help because i also want to find love again
So i hope you don't mind we talk on Hangouts @isaacmoses457@gmail.com
i was given a 5 year old boy to love when i got with her taught him to ride a bike did everything she took him from me in a day. stop being happy you have not been happy like i was
If he was not your real son then just move on! Good luck..
think you