Giving the same energy that you're getting is key and if you don't like that energy then move on. It can be hard but that's when you need to choose yourself over the fantasy.
well i will say this here, if you are friends with the person first you wont have to go by rules of what not to say, your partner is not only your person you want to date they are suppose to be your best friend and you both tell each other everything so you both can work on each others flaws together, then you can build with that person love isn't rules what is meant to be will be just be yourself act normal and be the persons friend first then go from there then in the end you will get what you want in the end because with that person to built a bound as a union then the man will marry you just relax and be spontaneous be free be honest be loyal and follow your heart and you will be okay, not expecting the man to do everything be bold take care and work with him he is human and so are you live life enjoy life together and free yourself from love rules and then you will get what you really want from that man because in the end true love wins over any rule in the book of love rules of someone else's opinions not all men are the same nor the women so I'm just saying here this go with the flow and flow your heart your love way will come naturally if you just chill out and relax be loyal honest and most importantly become your lovers best friend than all things of true love will come together naturally. good luck everyone bye bye
@@irenemorley75 This has happened to me as well, I think it happens to almost everybody actually, but almost all the men that I have known, who have treated me this way, were never going to treat me right anyways. Or, we are so ass backwardly incompatible, that it would have never worked anyways. Usually it's the first.
Summary: 1) Real date policy. 2) Buy the popcorn= Be a team player . Don't forget gestures. 3) Get excited about little things. 4) Be a grown-up and pick up the phone. Extra tips : @15:35 1- Be wary of projecting your hopes and dreams into the person. 2- Do not give all of yourself immediately 3- Don't give more than they are 4- Don't make them a priority before they've done the same for you. 5- Do not reach out any time you're craving attention! 💜🙏Pray for me and my family
well i will say this here, if you are friends with the person first you wont have to go by rules of what not to say, your partner is not only your person you want to date they are suppose to be your best friend and you both tell each other everything so you both can work on each others flaws together, then you can build with that person love isn't rules what is meant to be will be just be yourself act normal and be the persons friend first then go from there then in the end you will get what you want in the end because with that person to built a bound as a union then the man will marry you just relax and be spontaneous be free be honest be loyal and follow your heart and you will be okay, not expecting the man to do everything be bold take care and work with him he is human and so are you live life enjoy life together and free yourself from love rules and then you will get what you really want from that man because in the end true love wins over any rule in the book of love rules of someone else's opinions not all men are the same nor the women so I'm just saying here this go with the flow and flow your heart your love way will come naturally if you just chill out and relax be loyal honest and most importantly become your lovers best friend than all things of true love will come together naturally. good luck everyone bye bye
We’ve been married for 29 years and I’m still so crazy about my husband. Our two boys are 25 and 22 this year. Empty nesters has been AMAZING. We went on a date once a week for our entire marriage. We never stopped holding hands. This is what I saw my parents do. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for all your advice Matthew because I care so deeply about my marriage and relationship that your advice helps me focus on being the best partner I can be. Please please please always keep doing this. It is what the world needs …!!! Big love ❤️ from Dallas Texas !!!
you are very lucky! My husband became so cheap, he'd say "can't we just eat at home"? He is an executive who makes very good money but sadly the money changed the man for the worse.
@@gabriellawhitton3907 That's narcissistic. What if you fucked something up and he obviously didn't like it, or tryna test you if you would still want him or not. Could also be some kind of misunderstanding who knows
Never thought I’d be watching a video like this in my 50s but here I am. It’s been 4 years since my husband passed & I might attempt to meet someone but after being married so long I have no idea how to play the game anymore, nor if I’m even interested. But I’m grateful for this channel & the honesty portrayed thru it. I know how to be married, I have no idea how to date.
So proud of you wanting to dip your feets back into the dating pool! I'm sure it must be jard after you already habe found a partner you shared a life with. But it gave you valuable skills about how to have a relationship. Sure "the game" in the initial stage of dating is working a bit differently and can be a bit frustrating at times, but I'm sure since you made it work woth someone before, you'll be able to find someone to open up to again and that person will see those values in you 🥰
It’s so nice to hear ! Good luck :) my dad is also in his 50’s and after his divorce i was hoping he will find somebody, but he was repeating for 2 years that he is too old now, and he had his time. Recently he felt in love and met a lady also in her 50’s and he looks so happy!♥️ so there is always time to find soul mate! Good luck
Hmm, Matt spoke about this in the video @17.44 and said that you shouldn’t give the best of yourself, that is unearned, but give the appropriate amount for the stage you’re in.
Takeaways I got from this: I’m burning up energy and putting others on a pedestal. I’m also not communicating my standards properly. Thank you for educating us!
rejecting someone while being respectful and announcing our standards at the same time, all in 2 short sentences, is a real skill. too much to learn and practice
So I have consistently done these doing all this here are a few Things I have learnt: 1. Never try and match energy. I'm me always authentic. Even if it's casual. Just sit and observe if their actions align with what I want and match my values at that point in your life. Nobody is worthy of you changing who you are. 2. I know my worth. I know I'm fun, vulnerable and a wonderful communicater. 3. I had this epihany today - Not everyone is at the same growth level as you. Some people (unfortunately) are stuck on unhealthy patterns and crave toxicity. This may be a reason why they do not appreciate your authenticity. Understand that your level of evolution is much higher and you may be too evolved for them. Appreciate and comprehend how far you have come in your journey and move forward. The more you date the more you have a chance of funding who finds someone who aligns with your values. 4. Don't make bad communicaters make you give up on dating. Notice your communication patterns and what is working for you. Be active to communicate and if they don't then please..move on. 4. appreciate you communication skills andb your willingness to grow everyday. Don't doubt your authentic self. Ok Thanks for coming to my Ted talk ❤️
Spot on especially #4 I am a true believer in communication. Most recent guy was horrible I mentioned it he said he would do better did the same thing. I started get bummed on dating but I said nope it’s not me.
Loved this. ❤ It may not matter quite so much that they aren't as evolved as you, so long as they actually have an actual, ongoing interest in personal development. That's a BIG difference, IMO.😊
Haha you should have a dating site!! Seriously. What saddens me is feeling like I found someone with the same communication values and style and then after 2 months it's lime they halted it and turned on a dime and it felt like pulling teeth... nevermind that I was going with what our mutual dynamic had been and, seemingly, agreed upon by us both! When that happens I'm not sure if that's incompatibility or maybe 2 months of faking it, or maybe something I have no idea what it is... my heart hurts.
And after 20yrs of being happily married. Show appreciation. Be his rock..Show physical displays of affection regularly, doesn't have to be sexual. It shows adoration, comfort and security. And donate to the compliment jar at least once a day.
I'm so sick of having to 'tippy toe' around men, not being able to be the true me as apparently they don't like women like me. I'm done, truly done, I'm sick of the games, the hot'n cold, the ghosting, I'm so over it....😰
I feel the same!! When I want to have fun with someone I'm interested in, I wanna show my true feelings. Have freakin fun once the chemistry is good! But the result is the same every time. I think after marriage tho, & knowing the other is absolutely sure, then it's safe to be less "tippy toeish." But it is a true love fact, that you have to go light on feelings when you're first dating. It keeps the interest alive, & it shows yourself if the other is committed. AND it protects you from bad heartbreak when it doesn't work. It is a game, like hunting for elk. They won't just walk up to you or just be available by the side of the road. The hunter has to make a plan, dress right, have the tools & skills, & have the knowledge of Elk behavior to get his prize. It's a skill, but everyone is qualified. Most things worth while in this life YOU HAVE TO WORK HARD FOR. And every game has rules. but it does not mean you will lose the game. I truly believe tho that Empaths fall & hurt the hardest when it comes to love. Because empaths are creatures of communicating with feelings. They are caring people to be around. And therefore get used the most. But it can be controlled. Going light on feelings for awhile, keeping them guessing is only a principle of "time.". It takes TIME to form relationships. "Be careful on how deep you fall in love tho, because the depth of that love will be the depth of your pain in the end.". It's hard for empaths. They show their emotions EASY. Recognize that beautiful trait, control it, & use it when the other is really wanting you. Your empathy traits are part of you! That's you! Don't hide it. But control those feelings for special times, USE THAT ENERGY TO NOURISH THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE!! I get it!!
It's not a handicap to show how you feel, but it's how a heart works. And really, the right one will love you for who you are. There are so so so many hits & misses in dating. GOING LIGHT IN LOVE AT FIRST WILL BE YOUR PROTECTION FROM PLAYERS.
This "educate him" thing....take my advice: it's going to be a lot easier and you are going to save time, money and frustration, if they are already educated when you meet them. I'm serious about it. e.g. If you want to have a good experience you go to a good restaurant, instead of going to a shitty place and try to convince the owner to improve the place...simple and effective
well i will say this here, if you are friends with the person first you wont have to go by rules of what not to say, your partner is not only your person you want to date they are suppose to be your best friend and you both tell each other everything so you both can work on each others flaws together, then you can build with that person love isn't rules what is meant to be will be just be yourself act normal and be the persons friend first then go from there then in the end you will get what you want in the end because with that person to built a bound as a union then the man will marry you just relax and be spontaneous be free be honest be loyal and follow your heart and you will be okay, not expecting the man to do everything be bold take care and work with him he is human and so are you live life enjoy life together and free yourself from love rules and then you will get what you really want from that man because in the end true love wins over any rule in the book of love rules of someone else's opinions not all men are the same nor the women so I'm just saying here this go with the flow and flow your heart your love way will come naturally if you just chill out and relax be loyal honest and most importantly become your lovers best friend than all things of true love will come together naturally. good luck everyone bye bye
@@freedomtruth7418 follow your heart and your brain...not everything is following your instincts and emotions. Sharing your life (Everything: house, Finance, children, bed, time, holidays, etc) is a serious thing, so..know yourself, improve yourself and don't settle for less
I feel used when I give so much in a relationship especially when I feel it’s fair to pay for dinners and give gifts to men. Sadly, it’s not a good feeling when they realize how kind you are and they take advantage.
1) Real date policy. 2) Buy the popcorn . Be a teamplayer . Don't forget gestures. 3)Get excited about little things. 4) Be a grown up and pickup the phone.
2 роки тому+17
This isnt the 60’s anymore, people dont make calls lol
I had a guy i loved the way he made me feel but he never stepped into PICKING UP THE PHONE or actually spending time. I knew i wasnt giving him lovely energy like he was giving me, but i couldnt, feeling so let down and alone. Now i know it is my standard and necessity. If a guy wants to text a lot, he’s probably below my confidence level or effort level. Because he seemed cocky and or confident… but that he wouldnt step up and flaked out and wasnt consistent… made it obvious what he was up to.. which didnt match his words/ declarations of devotion. Now i have to still watch the video to understand number 1… maybe thats my date policy… step into reality!!! Like as if i want to be in my phone and in my head by myself… No!!!
Imma just show up as my sweet self, crack open my heart like a giant shimmering geode of wonderful that I am and if he doesn't like me for the kind hearted, supportive person (with boundaries) that I am, then it's kinda his loss. Eventually the right guy will come around that will treasure me and then I'll give all my love to him, the right person.... instead of wasting it on someone who tries to turn me into someone else💗
There's no right guy. He's never coming. All the advice I see here is what women should do to find a man, keep a man, keep him interested in you, make him get into a long-term relationship with you, how to please him sexually I mean the list goes on. I don't understand why and how did us women come to this point where we're dying to get men and willing to do everything for them, play all kinds of games but men just want to use us and don't bother to do even the bare minimum because they know they don't have to. They'll keep finding one woman and then another and then another without having to do anything. There's absolutely no advice on internet for men on how to change their behaviour, how to learn to love women, how to learn to commit and be there for their women and kids
@@saeedm9320 That's the point of my post. We don't need to do anything. The only advice I really follow online is how to be my best self and so should everyone else. You don't need to keep a man interested in you or make him fall for you, etc etc. You don't need to do anything. When you decide what you will accept and what you won't the wrong people will fall away (not just men but everyone) and you'll start to attract people that value you and treat you with respect. Not all men are bad, lazy or abusive. I grew up with three brothers who are good men and fantastic partners and fathers.
Don't invest more into a relationship than your partner is investing. It's a simple formula that never fails. If he invests very little and your doing all the work you appear desperate. It's also a sign that he could take you or leave you. Don't expend another ounce of energy....move on to someone who really WANTS to be with you.
Yes, you cannot play hard to get. Show him you are interested in getting to know him. Tell him you appreciate him, ask for his advice, be curious and listen well when he shares something big with you. Be a giver, not just a taker.
I'm playing hard to get it's safer..I stop texting this guy he was annoyed all the time I have him space now he keeps calling and texting me..I think he is getting a little scared.lmfao I don't care I can play it to!!
For me, when I quit trying to hook a man and realized it wasn’t my road to fulfillment, I made room for all kinds of other incredible magic in my life. Then, my partner just showed up. No trying, no self blame thinking I was somehow not good enough-I just changed my focus. The one I was waiting for had been there all along-it was me.
When I met my husband in 1986, it was instant chemistry- but he told me no when I offered him my phone number. He said he needed to be the one to ask for it. I loved that. He’s a gentleman and very masculine. We’re best friends. We’ve always been in love whether with new babies, teen years, elderly parents, and now as empty nesters. Our son takes after him and so do our sons in law. So happy our daughters have real men. Thanks for all you do.
*Building a connection in the early stages of dating is important, but let's prioritize being authentic and true to ourselves. Focus on shared interests, open conversations, and mutual respect.*
Superb video! I rarely suggest anything, but Women's Magic Truths on Borlest is worth it. This book has exceptional knowledge on manifestation. Best of luck to everyone!
Whaaa, I’m late 50s and watching dating advice!! My husband died six years ago and I haven’t dated much. I’m more afraid now. It all used to be easier. I am learning here! It is fun and encouraging. Thank you!
No one communicates by talking anymore. That’s a huge problem with the way relationships are these days. Social media, dating apps, texting. Lol none of it is good if you’re actually serious about finding a relationship.
well i will say this here, if you are friends with the person first you wont have to go by rules of what not to say, your partner is not only your person you want to date they are suppose to be your best friend and you both tell each other everything so you both can work on each others flaws together, then you can build with that person love isn't rules what is meant to be will be just be yourself act normal and be the persons friend first then go from there then in the end you will get what you want in the end because with that person to built a bound as a union then the man will marry you just relax and be spontaneous be free be honest be loyal and follow your heart and you will be okay, not expecting the man to do everything be bold take care and work with him he is human and so are you live life enjoy life together and free yourself from love rules and then you will get what you really want from that man because in the end true love wins over any rule in the book of love rules of someone else's opinions not all men are the same nor the women so I'm just saying here this go with the flow and flow your heart your love way will come naturally if you just chill out and relax be loyal honest and most importantly become your lovers best friend than all things of true love will come together naturally. good luck everyone bye bye
bnb0510 Correct! It’s already hard enough sometimes to communicate in person - never mind all the texting garbage. A lot of young people are in for a rude awakening where their relationships are concerned. They’re not going to know how to communicate when problems come up - and there will be problems along the way.
Wise, wise, wise advice. I've successfully used some of the texts and I return to these videos for review when I'm dating. Communicate your standards with confidence to create the bliss point attraction. Mirror their energy. Don't make them a priority or give them boyfriend status before they have earned that right. Don not reach out anytime you're craving attention. Thanks Matthew & Team!
If a guy texts me something like ‘Hey you want to come over later we can order in and snuggle’ as a suggestion for a first date (and assuming that I gave him no indication that I was in a for a quick hookup) I write him off immediately
Love these! Bonuses are spot on! Also, figure out if you actually want him to be hooked on you before trying to hook him. The last thing you want as a woman is to accidentally invite a stalker or a narcissist into your life because you're not focusing on using these tips with the right guy. Or like stated towards the end, running on ego. I'm not even sure how I got here though... I've been happily dating myself for 4 yrs 😂
Our first date was skydiving. I'm not suggesting that for everyone but doing something thrilling really helped forge a bond because we did something ... experienced something together that none of the friends in our various circles can relate to. It was the first time for both of us and it encouraged us to do more firsts together. We
well i will say this here, if you are friends with the person first you wont have to go by rules of what not to say, your partner is not only your person you want to date they are suppose to be your best friend and you both tell each other everything so you both can work on each others flaws together, then you can build with that person love isn't rules what is meant to be will be just be yourself act normal and be the persons friend first then go from there then in the end you will get what you want in the end because with that person to built a bound as a union then the man will marry you just relax and be spontaneous be free be honest be loyal and follow your heart and you will be okay, not expecting the man to do everything be bold take care and work with him he is human and so are you live life enjoy life together and free yourself from love rules and then you will get what you really want from that man because in the end true love wins over any rule in the book of love rules of someone else's opinions not all men are the same nor the women so I'm just saying here this go with the flow and flow your heart your love way will come naturally if you just chill out and relax be loyal honest and most importantly become your lovers best friend than all things of true love will come together naturally. good luck everyone bye bye
I hate phone calls in general. I only call if there is a good reason or to avoid a misunderstanding. I prefer texting, it's quiet, you don't interrupt people, and you can always come back and reread the text to make sure you got it right. I loved the "bliss point" part. Very useful.
Texting shows lack of social skills. How can you not want to hear the person's voice? What did you do before texting? To me texting is lazy. I want to speak to someone. Most people do.
Eew some of the guys I met text the relationship away, the latest one even split up through text lol I find it so immature. Whenever there was a misunderstanding I d pick up the phone to clear the air, and he wouldn't respond preferring to argue over texts, I couldn't handle this crap. People hiding behind the wall , never again, it's so childish imo.
I have been with my husband for almost 17 years. My standards were high when I met him and they still are. We have the kind of relationship that people dream of. Standards are super important for communication! And communication is the bedrock.
How did you balance the communication standards with giving someone the benefit of the doubt? I feel I have very high standards but not many people can reach them because of life, attention issues, emotional or maturity issues or who knows... the difficulty is knowing when to let something slide and when to call it out. I HATE lack of communication but, again, I have high standards because I tend to over communicate to people. Any advice much appreciated. I'm at the point in a relationship where someone has changed his communication openness with me after 2 months feeling safe and open with hi.. it's super bizarre and confusing and I'm unsure how to proceed.
@@jamielawrence4749 What?! After 2 months he finally makes the first move with a Hi text? That’s what it sounds like your saying. Is that correct? If so, that is beyond odd.
the part about appreciating his efforts on a date is so true. Men can be very sensitive and feel rejected when we are just being honest about an activity, even if we actually really like him. It's hard cuz sometimes we don't like their choices, especially if we have been independent for a while as women... but Matthew says 'act excited'. Sometimes it's hard to act excited 😂 but i think telling the guy 'I appreciate this' is good too. Its also important to be genuine about what interests you have in common. Don't fake it if you don't like the outdoors or being physically active. Don't fake anything. Do not get into a relationship with someone if you don't like the same activities. If you have interests in common you will be genuinely excited.
Wow, Matthew. Your videos are amazing. I love that you don’t beat around the bush. You get straight to the point. I really appreciate all your comments and advice. Thank you for your help. I’m a 79 year old widow who just joined a dating site. I’ve already met a very nice guy online. Your advice is very important to me.
Matt I came to see you many years ago and your advice is light years from where you were many years back to then.. it felt samey, boring and like every other dating coach out there.. to be honest it didn’t feel authentic! Fast forward 10 years and you have found YOUR VOICE, these videos are absolutely amazing 🤩 Great advice without confusion or over explanation.. clear, concise and definitely works. I say definitely works because it’s what I am doing already and I’m seeing results. Thank you Matt for confirming that I’m indeed doing what I ought to be doing wether I get the guy or not.. at least I’m valuing myself and setting boundaries. Can’t wait for more from you.❤
I cannot get enough of your videos! I'm in the early dating stages with a guy who I've known since we were younger so it's not as awkward or anything but this video helped me soooo much and I really feel like we're both into each other the same amount and could have something great! I cannot express enough how helpful your videos have been so thank you so much! Please never stop posting! 😊
@@mewho6199 It's a long story how I ended up with my husbend. I do make videos, I have a booktube channel in Hebrew 😉 Been watching this channel because Im writing a novel about dating.
@@michalpitowsky WOW!! That's Awesome!!! 🤓📖 Can u think of anything that wasn't mentioned that u did diff that worked well for u? If I may ask... what kind of novel r u writing? Like a fiction love story or rules of dating gone bad? 😁♥ LOL
Giving the same energy that you're getting is key and if you don't like that energy then move on. It can be hard but that's when you need to choose yourself over the fantasy. A man who loves a woman will not ignore her, period. So... If he ignores me I will step back and he will lose me. I don’t play any of these childish abusive controlling mind games. I will only be with a man who values and appreciates me, and treats me as the Queen, I AM. Because I am a beautiful and kind and sexy and wise and magical woman: who knows my worth. Period.
My dear, I'm 48 years old and while I appreciate your videos, perhaps it's time you do something for the men cause they have no idea. Show them how to be a man. Show them how to win and sustain the woman's interest. Tell them the difference between a boy and a man. Tell them its easy to win a woman but its not in the winning, its in the journey. I want to see you doing that to show the men how to be real men.
You are so right about what you say. Men do need to learn how to be men. It's important to know how to sustain a relationship long term. I stopped dating because I encountered men who have no clue on how to date and act like men. Its gets old to see how some act. I've noticed that some younger men act more emotionally mature than men my age. Who wants to be dating a man who is clueless and classless.? They need to step up to the plate.
@@madelynnazario8361 I am at a stage in my life that i dont need a man but i would want one that could live it up. However, i couldnt find one yet and like you, i'm giving up. The older i get, the more standards i have but luckily, the more independent I am
There are channels for that but they dont contain the content you expect. Men dont "win and sustain" a woman interest by doing something for her, we do it by bettering ourselves. If we buy flowers, chocolates, gifts, etc. That gets immediate attention but not something sustainable. On the other hand if we are doing our grind, leading a good life and having a healthy body women will naturally give us attention and we can choose who we reciprocate. Men are real men when they focus on their purpose, not on women.
@@ChaosAngel667 it's true but a real man would want to do it for his woman too. I believe a lot of women would agree with me on this. No need the flowers & chocolates but the genuine care, concern, the leadership by example, the having our interests at heart all goes a long way
@@jennyacyl thats YOUR definition of a real man. Many of us grew up with that definition and tried to apply it only to get disrespected. Thats why real men define themselves based on their purpose, not on female standards.
Oh lord I prefer texting...cuz then you can stop the conservation whenever...as an introvert there is nothing more scary than someone talking your ears off
Life is like dating, all new relationships, work, clients, meeting new people, starting new business ventures etc... You need to set standards from the beginning and be communicative
well i will say this here, if you are friends with the person first you wont have to go by rules of what not to say, your partner is not only your person you want to date they are suppose to be your best friend and you both tell each other everything so you both can work on each others flaws together, then you can build with that person love isn't rules what is meant to be will be just be yourself act normal and be the persons friend first then go from there then in the end you will get what you want in the end because with that person to built a bound as a union then the man will marry you just relax and be spontaneous be free be honest be loyal and follow your heart and you will be okay, not expecting the man to do everything be bold take care and work with him he is human and so are you live life enjoy life together and free yourself from love rules and then you will get what you really want from that man because in the end true love wins over any rule in the book of love rules of someone else's opinions not all men are the same nor the women so I'm just saying here this go with the flow and flow your heart your love way will come naturally if you just chill out and relax be loyal honest and most importantly become your lovers best friend than all things of true love will come together naturally. good luck everyone bye bye
one thing to notice when someone is for you is see how many times you both meet without even setting the meeting. told this one guy that im leaving him to do other stuff. if the universe brings us together again ill talk to you again and we can continue seeing one another. we never texted any future arrangements. he took off work to come looking for me the following day, had no clue where or when ill be out somewhere. He just knew he wanted to have me. I woke up and decided to walk to the store and crossed over into the parking lot and saw his vehicle. soon as we got closer to speak, i told him i saw you first, "he said," no. I saw you first". I tried to laugh but i was so damn aggravated that day about my life situation and conditions I couldnt laugh or even think about how we ended up meeting up again. so now a few days passed and all of a sudden my period didnt come on. I started thinking about all the times we messed around for 4 months without a condom. and he was snipped. I looked and dug into some research on how possible is it that i could be pregnant if he visited a phlebotomist and got a vasectomy years ago before we even met. I plan on buying a baby shoe and throwing at him next time i see him and saying, " what have you done". you got some explaining to do mr. Im suppose to be joining the air force soon. I cannot be pregnant. He called but he always call from uknown numbers. but ive been ignoring him because im trying to wait to see if my period will come on soon. im scared to go even buy a preg test. and im not going to kill any child. i dont believe in it.
also we like each other and i ended up loving him and broke his shades infont of him because he wasnt ready for that yet. he looked and did nothing. i told him he making me too stressed out. now he still wants to see me. he loves a little crzy cause im an Aries that is crazy when someone stressed me out. Plus he use to be in the army and has grown up kids. And enjoys our time together. He always try to ask me if i wanna try this or that and if i dont he makes sure he doesnt do it again. He cares about my feelings as i do his. He is actually the guy ive always wanted to have. his fat ass. im slim and cute. hes ok with his looks but hes cute because hes a very short guy and i like that. plus hes shy and yells when upset. i like that kind of aggressive behavior.
You have really helped me Matthew. I have been really struggling in the dating process after coming out of a 7 year relationship with a toxic man. I grew up watching toxicity within my parents marriage. It has been hard to break the cycle in my own life and even harder to walk away from someone I want because I know they don’t meet my standards but your videos help me get out of my head and focus on what is truly important and that loving ourselves the most. Thank you for your content!
After years and years watching this very vid, I finally made it. He invited me out, I showed interest and he only replied 24 hs later, for tonight. I said I loved the choice and will love to go there some other time, encaixe I made plans after not hearing from him. I’m anxious but this vid made me slightly more confident
… be an adult. That’s my favourite line. Not even professional communicators are competent at doing that. Instead they let their ego take over and make assumptions and beat around the bush and do shady things to avoid telling the truth. This is a life lesson people should learn when they’re 7 not when there in their 30s and 40s. Speak up..,,wake up….grow up.
I am so sorry so hard. My mother was older and I felt ripped off when she passed I was 33. I can’t imagine your loss. I purposely got married much younger and had my child as soon as I could so I wouldn’t do that to her.
Utilize that voice message button. Text can easily be misconstrued and screw up everything. Nothing beats human voice. It's not what we say, it's how we say it.
Woo hoo! I'm already a popcorn buyer! About the phone,..I actually prefer texting to ask if it's ok to call. I work unusual hours so its more convenient that way.
Sexual intimacy is best & most fruitfully expressed in committed relationships. Our bodies are sacred temples & merging yourself with someone you ‘think you like’ is quite reckless. I like so much of your philosophy Matthew - however this point which is taken for granted in our modern culture is lacking eternal perspective. Covenant is something our generation needs to rediscover and soon.
The contribution part is true for women as well. Naturally, I am a giver. I give my all and then some, but VERY RARELY do others give anything such as effort towards me. And that’s something I want as well in all types of relationships in my life -> not necessarily equal, but FAiR contribution from the other person, rather than just me putting in effort. I’ve been told by a friends, coworkers and a lot of acquaintances that I’ve got a heart of gold and my mom used to tell me and others that I don’t have a single mean bone in my body.🙈 My infinite, unconditional love, kindness and compassion for everyone often results in me getting taken advantage of.🙈Lol
You have to be all that for yourself too, not just for others. And when you do, there’s boundaries and there’s no boundaries crossed or you walk away. You stop giving to the wrong person. It’s not only them. It’s us too. We allow them to treat us that way.
Wow, I have been doing everything wrong. I usually end up driving them away or they pull back. I've been told " you're a lot" " you're too much" or " I can't keep up with you." I get so excited easily. I guess I scare them off. It sucks I feel things intensely or too passionate. I hear so much dating advice that's contradictory.
I subscribed at "buy the popcorn" because this I something I have always done and the reaction by the man has always been positive. Often they even mention how nice it was. I sent this video to myself for the next four mornings to watch it every day
This was critical info Matthew. Im a single mom, work full time, taking 1 college class. I got burned in past. Talking to someone new now and setting up standards and boundaries is working awesome. Not games but managing my time with new person saying I only have Xyz amt of time each day. Like you said we all do!!! Energy depletes. Then we must rest.. Let's use our us time and not waste it when we schedule it.. We are texting throughout the day past month to keep close and slowly get acquainted. And we are taking time getting to know each other FIRST!!!! All prior relationships...hopped in sack. Got 🔥, had no standards, no boundaries, did not get to know each. Now focusing on bond first for several months, see if we are a match. Plenty of time down road to hop in the sack. Not just yet buddy!!! Ladies run your busy days, and take your time getting to know your new men! No games but we deserve the time to get to know guy we are considering dating and hopping in sack!
You are well come 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹 I m here for u I Love Love Love Loooooooooooooove you so soooooooo much real and true I need you S eriousely I like u Well u merry me 👧👧👧💍💍💍😍😍❤❤❤🌷🌷🌷🌷 I m intrested far u and me come meet me I m alone
My favorite to avoid the nuisance of classical dating: just go into groups that fit your interests - you might notice you like someone, get to know them better, will already have some preinformation about them and the group accountability which will make it more safe. And if you don't notice someone in the group or it turns out the one you liked doesn't work as a partner you still had a good time, met new people and potentially found friends. Also these friends might invite you into new circles that already fit you. Going on a two person "date" with a person I've never met seems way to much stress and unpredicatability to me - even if I might like them. I value my time to highly for that so I will only go meet seperately with a person I have already screened in person as interesting to me.
Matthew you're amazing 😭 I'm so glad I found your channel. On the last segment where you talk about the 5 things you should do to manage your energy I literally sobbed because these are all the things I've been doing wrong for years now. Each one. I give way too much of myself.. And this whole time I've been wondering why I always end up being in one sided relationships (friendships and intimate) and now I know why. It's emotionally draining and after a while it can really break your spirit. These are all things I really needed guidance with so thank you so much for making this 😭 I'm going to really try and implement your wisdom.
I honestly think the second one is not working everywhere. Don't forget about the cultural context. In my home country you can offer to pay, but if you really do so, you are acknowledged as a too independent feminist women. Gestures matter however. I have always offered paying, the reaction was mixed. Used to my mum told me sometimes you have to let the men to be men and that's all. And men feel good if they can invite you. You can have other feminine gestures, like you remember something small he likes, a food, chocolate, and you buy give it to him, if you have the opportunity to do so. It works. And being patient, hear the other person and understand instead of chasing him helps a lot as well 😃 .
i love this advice for woman but this way of dating and this way of thinking is just for women, isn't it? i mean men don't act like that at all. they just think of sex all the time, especially when they're dating someone . but actually i got a great tip from my boyfriend that something like spanish fly enhanicng the whole expereince is the best and should be for all the couples
#4 had me rolling 😂😂😂 so true!! Not even people in general like to pick up their phone like a grown up to talk on the phone. Most people all they want to do is just text.
well i will say this here, if you are friends with the person first you wont have to go by rules of what not to say, your partner is not only your person you want to date they are suppose to be your best friend and you both tell each other everything so you both can work on each others flaws together, then you can build with that person love isn't rules what is meant to be will be just be yourself act normal and be the persons friend first then go from there then in the end you will get what you want in the end because with that person to built a bound as a union then the man will marry you just relax and be spontaneous be free be honest be loyal and follow your heart and you will be okay, not expecting the man to do everything be bold take care and work with him he is human and so are you live life enjoy life together and free yourself from love rules and then you will get what you really want from that man because in the end true love wins over any rule in the book of love rules of someone else's opinions not all men are the same nor the women so I'm just saying here this go with the flow and flow your heart your love way will come naturally if you just chill out and relax be loyal honest and most importantly become your lovers best friend than all things of true love will come together naturally. good luck everyone bye bye
I agree with the communication techniques. When my now husband asked me on what I want to do for our valentines date. I told him : Surprise me :) man, did he went all out. He booked a restaurant with flower, cake, and hired a string band. I thought he was going to propose. I was genuinely nervousn
The part about calling & Alexander Graham Bell made me laugh because texting with my brother once (& I was getting tired) he said, “ You do realize you have a phone in your hand, right?”😀
well i will say this here, if you are friends with the person first you wont have to go by rules of what not to say, your partner is not only your person you want to date they are suppose to be your best friend and you both tell each other everything so you both can work on each others flaws together, then you can build with that person love isn't rules what is meant to be will be just be yourself act normal and be the persons friend first then go from there then in the end you will get what you want in the end because with that person to built a bound as a union then the man will marry you just relax and be spontaneous be free be honest be loyal and follow your heart and you will be okay, not expecting the man to do everything be bold take care and work with him he is human and so are you live life enjoy life together and free yourself from love rules and then you will get what you really want from that man because in the end true love wins over any rule in the book of love rules of someone else's opinions not all men are the same nor the women so I'm just saying here this go with the flow and flow your heart your love way will come naturally if you just chill out and relax be loyal honest and most importantly become your lovers best friend than all things of true love will come together naturally. good luck everyone bye bye
Even if looking for something ‘casual’ (or just something that’s not a relationship that is working toward marriage/forever) I still have a real dates only policy before going over.
i just started dating 2 years ago after being married for 25 years. I stumbled upon Matthew and all his dating advice, and in most cases, if not all, he gives really good advice. He knows what he is talking about. I'm still single, which is ok, I'm not a 20 something year old looking to get married, have kids, the house, the dog, etc. But I have dated a lot and been on a lot of first dates and his hints and advice, is pretty spot on. I'm dating a couple of decent guys right now, and I know so much more on how to date and attract really good men.
You are well come 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹 I need you really I like u S eriousely I love u so so much forever I make u so so happy I m alone Well you merry me I m intrested 👧👧👧💍💍💍💍😍😍😍😍😍😍❤❤❤❤❤❤🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷
Ladies please don't initiate contact first to prove you're an 'adult' as men that really want to go on a 2nd 3rd or 4th date with you will definitely make the phone call or txt first.... Men never feel like they need your 'permission' to call you 🤣📞 if he wants you he will do what it takes and if he doesnt plenty more fish in the sea :)
Wonder Woman You are absolutely correct! Let the man do the initiating and more of the work - and he will if he’s interested. Let the man be the man and the woman be the woman.
I always thought that your partner ends up being your best friend for the good and the bad. I think it is as hard to find a really good friend as finding someone to have a truthful relationship. I also believe that physical attraction plays a huge part.
Right! It’s awesome when the one you want to be with is also your true friend. Rough when the guy has a lot going for him but lacks in the attraction area. That’s me right me. The person I’ve been getting to know the past 2 months is a good guy but I’m not physically attracted to him. I did inform him friends first because for me friends is more important than getting physical. I’ve come across too many guys who want and or expect to much physical first who don’t take the time to actually get to know each other. I also have an annoyance with the current guy I’ve been sharing time with, and that’s that when he speaks his voice his soooo low. Really really annoying. I’m constantly asking what did you say? That gets old real fast. A part of me wants to see where this goes simply based on him being a good guy. But I don’t see anything life long here.
Holy God !! I can't believe how helpful this video has been. How I wish I had seen this before I started seeing this guy a year and a half ago. I see everywhere I went wrong. I did start watching your videos back in summer 2020, before I met him, but then of course I got sidetracked by our relationship and didn't go back to your informative advice. Thankyou Matthew
I was with a covert narsasist who had abusive traits & child hood trauma Who also had a tendency to Cheat with different woman who he also payed for I used to be this person Get excited over the little things Now it's just hard as in having to start over again , Knowing that everyone is different and not all the same .... I think I'm starting to find my self more Now and starting to get out and about
I've been doing some of these, already. Glad to know I'm on the right path. 😁 I'll be sure to watch this a few more times, to remind myself of what I should continue doing, and what I should start doing. Thanks, again, Matthew!
I recently found Matthew on a Mel Robbins podcast. Spot on advice. Thank you. I definitely have given more of my energy in the past. Lucky I’ve learned to prioritize myself and my family.
This is one of the best videos that I have seen regarding setting boundaries and “what to say” scenarios. Thank you so much, Matthew, for providing us with some healthy tools that we can use that actually make sense! Your guidance, viewpoint, and humor is so valuable and appreciated. Have a beautiful day 😘 *winky face* haha
yes as a male i like the tips he gave. its a good giving and taking. set boundrys but respekt his too. This is one thing many girls i met has forgotten: a relationship is not a one way show. and let me say he is total right. we don´t care if we pay for the first date, but we really like such a gesture. Cose many of us was used as a so calld mealticket and most of us don´t like it, but to find this out means its allready to late.
@@Barlmoro I don’t think anything is too late 😊. Demonstrating respect, developing boundaries, communication and learning how to show gratitude are all learned skill sets that we all develop and improve throughout our lives. I’m sure we can all think of plenty of examples of people who never learn lmao but I guess as long as we work on our own learning and skill sets we can make our own mini world around us a more awesome place to be
@@lunar686 with to late i mean following: you have a date with a girl, you pay for it and after that she ghost you or sometimes the says it that the only datet you for the free meal. so you find out she is not interestet in you but took your meal offer. If you would know this in the first place you would not go for the dinner, but at this point its to late, the meal is allready paid.
well i will say this here, if you are friends with the person first you wont have to go by rules of what not to say, your partner is not only your person you want to date they are suppose to be your best friend and you both tell each other everything so you both can work on each others flaws together, then you can build with that person love isn't rules what is meant to be will be just be yourself act normal and be the persons friend first then go from there then in the end you will get what you want in the end because with that person to built a bound as a union then the man will marry you just relax and be spontaneous be free be honest be loyal and follow your heart and you will be okay, not expecting the man to do everything be bold take care and work with him he is human and so are you live life enjoy life together and free yourself from love rules and then you will get what you really want from that man because in the end true love wins over any rule in the book of love rules of someone else's opinions not all men are the same nor the women so I'm just saying here this go with the flow and flow your heart your love way will come naturally if you just chill out and relax be loyal honest and most importantly become your lovers best friend than all things of true love will come together naturally. good luck everyone bye bye
This is so on point! Getting him to commit to the first date was like pulling teeth. I was about to give up and he asked me to dinner. It was great. So much in common. I really like him and the date went well! 🎉
Setting boundaries and standards is so different than expectations. I thought I was doing the right thing by being clear up front that I wanted a long term relationship. I put out there what I was 'expecting' and didn't give him a chance to let his feelings develop. He broke it off after 4 weeks. I was devastated because I really liked him. Lesson learned!
I don't think you're entirely wrong. If you put it out there that you're dating to explore the possibility of a long-term relationship, and he's not looking for the same. It's probably good that he left early! Don't bother with the guys who are not showing up. Walk away and cut your losses.
I don’t agree with the point of not reaching out if I need attention. When one in the partnership needs reassurance, the other partner should give it. This is about consistently supporting each other, and there are times when I need, or she needs, to know I’m thinking of her, and vice versa. We should feel safe to reach out when we need reassurance. This is part of a healthy relationship. Depending on and reaching out to our partner for emotional support is not bad, it’s part of a healthy relationship. If I cannot depend on my partner to give me emotional support when I need it, that’s a red flag. Studies show this is critically important for a healthy life, longevity, and a healthy relationship.
About the three text message scenarios, perhaps except for the first one (hey what are we gonna do today.), if a guy does one of the other two, he isn’t interested so stop contacting him and move on with your life. Don’t sit around thinking of how to send an attractive message, especially if you’re a young woman. You should spend more time on developing your interests, hobbies and investing in yourself (knowledge, career, etc.) if you have to make a lot of effort to “make” someone like you, it’s not meant to be
Its like this video was meant for me!!! I did this (setting standards) before I saw this but its like cosmic confirmation that I am doing the right thing! Thanks Matthew!!
Matthew, BEST video yet! I realize these are nothing you haven’t said before, but perhaps I was just ready to hear it. I saw myself in a scenario and had an ‘aha’ moment. Been single after wasting too many years with a narcissist because I don’t trust I won’t hook up with one again. (I chose to ignore red flags) ❤️Thank you
well i will say this here, if you are friends with the person first you wont have to go by rules of what not to say, your partner is not only your person you want to date they are suppose to be your best friend and you both tell each other everything so you both can work on each others flaws together, then you can build with that person love isn't rules what is meant to be will be just be yourself act normal and be the persons friend first then go from there then in the end you will get what you want in the end because with that person to built a bound as a union then the man will marry you just relax and be spontaneous be free be honest be loyal and follow your heart and you will be okay, not expecting the man to do everything be bold take care and work with him he is human and so are you live life enjoy life together and free yourself from love rules and then you will get what you really want from that man because in the end true love wins over any rule in the book of love rules of someone else's opinions not all men are the same nor the women so I'm just saying here this go with the flow and flow your heart your love way will come naturally if you just chill out and relax be loyal honest and most importantly become your lovers best friend than all things of true love will come together naturally. good luck everyone bye bye
I read “how to bag a high caliber man in 12 weeks”. They explained that the feminine doesn’t have to invest financially. She invests in other ways. The more a man invests in you (time, energy, money) the more he will like you
I'd love to date again. But it's impossible to actually meet someone unless it's on a god awful dating site where people hide who they really are! What happened to the old fashioned way!(?) Dance-Pub-Work-mutual friend etc. Then, text-phone-date😬. And it gets worse as I get older too!
*Me as a man watching Matthew explain things and realizing he's totally got me pegged* "Somebody, stop him! He's ruining what little power we have left!"
Lmao!!! Mathew this is giving the show Drunk History!! I love it! wow I’ve been peeking in on and off at your videos for a while now, but you’re putting so much energy into these videos bravo!! The lip sync and narration!
Giving the same energy that you're getting is key and if you don't like that energy then move on. It can be hard but that's when you need to choose yourself over the fantasy.
Yes.
God i just realized my phantasies and it’s tough
Wow… So true… wake up call
well i will say this here, if you are friends with the person first you wont have to go by rules of what not to say, your partner is not only your person you want to date they are suppose to be your best friend and you both tell each other everything so you both can work on each others flaws together, then you can build with that person love isn't rules what is meant to be will be just be yourself act normal and be the persons friend first then go from there then in the end you will get what you want in the end because with that person to built a bound as a union then the man will marry you just relax and be spontaneous be free be honest be loyal and follow your heart and you will be okay, not expecting the man to do everything be bold take care and work with him he is human and so are you live life enjoy life together and free yourself from love rules and then you will get what you really want from that man because in the end true love wins over any rule in the book of love rules of someone else's opinions not all men are the same nor the women so I'm just saying here this go with the flow and flow your heart your love way will come naturally if you just chill out and relax be loyal honest and most importantly become your lovers best friend than all things of true love will come together naturally. good luck everyone bye bye
Best advice ever
I set standards with a guy I wanted to date and he ditched me for someone else. It hurt at first, but then I realized I’m much better off.
Awe, its great you know and understand your worth hun. Maybe best, his loss.
What standards?
@@Babyyxxmarie Her standards 🙄
@@irenemorley75
This has happened to me as well, I think it happens to almost everybody actually, but almost all the men that I have known, who have treated me this way, were never going to treat me right anyways. Or, we are so ass backwardly incompatible, that it would have never worked anyways. Usually it's the first.
Same thing happened to me. I was so disappointed.
Summary:
1) Real date policy.
2) Buy the popcorn= Be a team player . Don't forget gestures.
3) Get excited about little things.
4) Be a grown-up and pick up the phone.
Extra tips : @15:35
1- Be wary of projecting your hopes and dreams into the person.
2- Do not give all of yourself immediately
3- Don't give more than they are
4- Don't make them a priority before they've done the same for you.
5- Do not reach out any time you're craving attention!
💜🙏Pray for me and my family
well i will say this here, if you are friends with the person first you wont have to go by rules of what not to say, your partner is not only your person you want to date they are suppose to be your best friend and you both tell each other everything so you both can work on each others flaws together, then you can build with that person love isn't rules what is meant to be will be just be yourself act normal and be the persons friend first then go from there then in the end you will get what you want in the end because with that person to built a bound as a union then the man will marry you just relax and be spontaneous be free be honest be loyal and follow your heart and you will be okay, not expecting the man to do everything be bold take care and work with him he is human and so are you live life enjoy life together and free yourself from love rules and then you will get what you really want from that man because in the end true love wins over any rule in the book of love rules of someone else's opinions not all men are the same nor the women so I'm just saying here this go with the flow and flow your heart your love way will come naturally if you just chill out and relax be loyal honest and most importantly become your lovers best friend than all things of true love will come together naturally. good luck everyone bye bye
Now this is real wisdom!!
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thanks
Thank you!
We’ve been married for 29 years and I’m still so crazy about my husband. Our two boys are 25 and 22 this year. Empty nesters has been AMAZING. We went on a date once a week for our entire marriage. We never stopped holding hands. This is what I saw my parents do. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for all your advice Matthew because I care so deeply about my marriage and relationship that your advice helps me focus on being the best partner I can be. Please please please always keep doing this. It is what the world needs …!!! Big love ❤️ from Dallas Texas !!!
@Thomas akhagbosu if you have to bring him back in the first place, he should stay gone
Congrats!!!
Relationship is just like investing in a company, the moment it stopped growing, it's dying.
You should share your relationship tips!
you are very lucky! My husband became so cheap, he'd say "can't we just eat at home"? He is an executive who makes very good money but sadly the money changed the man for the worse.
The fact that you have him included in your profile picture proves your point further
@@gabriellawhitton3907 That's narcissistic. What if you fucked something up and he obviously didn't like it, or tryna test you if you would still want him or not. Could also be some kind of misunderstanding who knows
ladies, gents, always forever, remember this:
if you treat someone as if they're a star,
they'll treat you as if you're a fan...
wow....this is VERY GOOD.
so lovely ❤
What if they also treat you the same
@@lauraassuncao4494why is it good? Shouldn’t you both be stars in each other eyes
I’m confused, is this a good thing?
Never thought I’d be watching a video like this in my 50s but here I am. It’s been 4 years since my husband passed & I might attempt to meet someone but after being married so long I have no idea how to play the game anymore, nor if I’m even interested. But I’m grateful for this channel & the honesty portrayed thru it. I know how to be married, I have no idea how to date.
So proud of you wanting to dip your feets back into the dating pool! I'm sure it must be jard after you already habe found a partner you shared a life with. But it gave you valuable skills about how to have a relationship. Sure "the game" in the initial stage of dating is working a bit differently and can be a bit frustrating at times, but I'm sure since you made it work woth someone before, you'll be able to find someone to open up to again and that person will see those values in you 🥰
Hey. You got this
You are mature and giving but not naive to be used. Behind you 100% much luv
You’re not alone. Same here
My soulmate of 37 yrs died 5 yrs ago. I share the same mixed feelings too!
It’s so nice to hear ! Good luck :) my dad is also in his 50’s and after his divorce i was hoping he will find somebody, but he was repeating for 2 years that he is too old now, and he had his time. Recently he felt in love and met a lady also in her 50’s and he looks so happy!♥️ so there is always time to find soul mate! Good luck
Really, just be the best version of yourself.
Yep cause if you’re doing anything else, it won’t work out long term anyway!
@@JohnsonKayla12 Exactly. All the things that you pretend to be not, will eventually come out and you have just wasted everyone's time.
Hmm, Matt spoke about this in the video @17.44 and said that you shouldn’t give the best of yourself, that is unearned, but give the appropriate amount for the stage you’re in.
@Jean juju You should be the best version of yourself, for yourself.
Exactly people can tell when you are not being authentic unless they hide who they truly are too
Takeaways I got from this: I’m burning up energy and putting others on a pedestal. I’m also not communicating my standards properly. Thank you for educating us!
rejecting someone while being respectful and announcing our standards at the same time, all in 2 short sentences, is a real skill. too much to learn and practice
So I have consistently done these doing all this here are a few Things I have learnt:
1. Never try and match energy. I'm me always authentic. Even if it's casual. Just sit and observe if their actions align with what I want and match my values at that point in your life. Nobody is worthy of you changing who you are.
2. I know my worth. I know I'm fun, vulnerable and a wonderful communicater.
3. I had this epihany today - Not everyone is at the same growth level as you. Some people (unfortunately) are stuck on unhealthy patterns and crave toxicity. This may be a reason why they do not appreciate your authenticity. Understand that your level of evolution is much higher and you may be too evolved for them. Appreciate and comprehend how far you have come in your journey and move forward. The more you date the more you have a chance of funding who finds someone who aligns with your values.
4. Don't make bad communicaters make you give up on dating. Notice your communication patterns and what is working for you. Be active to communicate and if they don't then please..move on.
4. appreciate you communication skills andb your willingness to grow everyday. Don't doubt your authentic self.
Ok
Thanks for coming to my Ted talk ❤️
Hi ❤❤🌷
Spot on especially #4 I am a true believer in communication. Most recent guy was horrible I mentioned it he said he would do better did the same thing. I started get bummed on dating but I said nope it’s not me.
That was a great TED talk. Thank-you 🌹
Loved this. ❤
It may not matter quite so much that they aren't as evolved as you, so long as they actually have an actual, ongoing interest in personal development. That's a BIG difference, IMO.😊
Haha you should have a dating site!! Seriously. What saddens me is feeling like I found someone with the same communication values and style and then after 2 months it's lime they halted it and turned on a dime and it felt like pulling teeth... nevermind that I was going with what our mutual dynamic had been and, seemingly, agreed upon by us both! When that happens I'm not sure if that's incompatibility or maybe 2 months of faking it, or maybe something I have no idea what it is... my heart hurts.
And after 20yrs of being happily married. Show appreciation. Be his rock..Show physical displays of affection regularly, doesn't have to be sexual. It shows adoration, comfort and security. And donate to the compliment jar at least once a day.
I'm so sick of having to 'tippy toe' around men, not being able to be the true me as apparently they don't like women like me. I'm done, truly done, I'm sick of the games, the hot'n cold, the ghosting, I'm so over it....😰
I feel the same!! When I want to have fun with someone I'm interested in, I wanna show my true feelings. Have freakin fun once the chemistry is good! But the result is the same every time. I think after marriage tho, & knowing the other is absolutely sure, then it's safe to be less "tippy toeish."
But it is a true love fact, that you have to go light on feelings when you're first dating. It keeps the interest alive, & it shows yourself if the other is committed. AND it protects you from bad heartbreak when it doesn't work.
It is a game, like hunting for elk. They won't just walk up to you or just be available by the side of the road. The hunter has to make a plan, dress right, have the tools & skills, & have the knowledge of Elk behavior to get his prize. It's a skill, but everyone is qualified.
Most things worth while in this life YOU HAVE TO WORK HARD FOR. And every game has rules. but it does not mean you will lose the game. I truly believe tho that Empaths fall & hurt the hardest when it comes to love. Because empaths are creatures of communicating with feelings. They are caring people to be around. And therefore get used the most. But it can be controlled.
Going light on feelings for awhile, keeping them guessing is only a principle of "time.". It takes TIME to form relationships.
"Be careful on how deep you fall in love tho, because the depth of that love will be the depth of your pain in the end.".
It's hard for empaths. They show their emotions EASY. Recognize that beautiful trait, control it, & use it when the other is really wanting you. Your empathy traits are part of you! That's you! Don't hide it. But control those feelings for special times, USE THAT ENERGY TO NOURISH THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE!!
I get it!!
It's not a handicap to show how you feel, but it's how a heart works. And really, the right one will love you for who you are. There are so so so many hits & misses in dating. GOING LIGHT IN LOVE AT FIRST WILL BE YOUR PROTECTION FROM PLAYERS.
This "educate him" thing....take my advice: it's going to be a lot easier and you are going to save time, money and frustration, if they are already educated when you meet them. I'm serious about it. e.g. If you want to have a good experience you go to a good restaurant, instead of going to a shitty place and try to convince the owner to improve the place...simple and effective
But what if all the good restaurants keep taking in newer younger customers
well i will say this here, if you are friends with the person first you wont have to go by rules of what not to say, your partner is not only your person you want to date they are suppose to be your best friend and you both tell each other everything so you both can work on each others flaws together, then you can build with that person love isn't rules what is meant to be will be just be yourself act normal and be the persons friend first then go from there then in the end you will get what you want in the end because with that person to built a bound as a union then the man will marry you just relax and be spontaneous be free be honest be loyal and follow your heart and you will be okay, not expecting the man to do everything be bold take care and work with him he is human and so are you live life enjoy life together and free yourself from love rules and then you will get what you really want from that man because in the end true love wins over any rule in the book of love rules of someone else's opinions not all men are the same nor the women so I'm just saying here this go with the flow and flow your heart your love way will come naturally if you just chill out and relax be loyal honest and most importantly become your lovers best friend than all things of true love will come together naturally. good luck everyone bye bye
Agreed, nowadays most of them don't listen to your standards anyway.
@@jmorel42 We keep trying new restaurants 😁 I'm Joking...
@@freedomtruth7418 follow your heart and your brain...not everything is following your instincts and emotions. Sharing your life (Everything: house, Finance, children, bed, time, holidays, etc) is a serious thing, so..know yourself, improve yourself and don't settle for less
I feel used when I give so much in a relationship especially when I feel it’s fair to pay for dinners and give gifts to men. Sadly, it’s not a good feeling when they realize how kind you are and they take advantage.
I felt the same, this feeling of being used hurts the most
You don't pay for men...
1) Real date policy.
2) Buy the popcorn . Be a teamplayer . Don't forget gestures.
3)Get excited about little things.
4) Be a grown up and pickup the phone.
This isnt the 60’s anymore, people dont make calls lol
@ Yes they do. Men actually CALL ladies they like.
I had a guy i loved the way he made me feel but he never stepped into PICKING UP THE PHONE or actually spending time. I knew i wasnt giving him lovely energy like he was giving me, but i couldnt, feeling so let down and alone. Now i know it is my standard and necessity. If a guy wants to text a lot, he’s probably below my confidence level or effort level. Because he seemed cocky and or confident… but that he wouldnt step up and flaked out and wasnt consistent… made it obvious what he was up to.. which didnt match his words/ declarations of devotion. Now i have to still watch the video to understand number 1… maybe thats my date policy… step into reality!!! Like as if i want to be in my phone and in my head by myself… No!!!
@ it’s 2am and this is so funny for no reason
Crystal Correct!
Imma just show up as my sweet self, crack open my heart like a giant shimmering geode of wonderful that I am and if he doesn't like me for the kind hearted, supportive person (with boundaries) that I am, then it's kinda his loss. Eventually the right guy will come around that will treasure me and then I'll give all my love to him, the right person.... instead of wasting it on someone who tries to turn me into someone else💗
love love love this comment! paints a mental picture beautifully!
You go girl x
Amen sister!!!
There's no right guy. He's never coming. All the advice I see here is what women should do to find a man, keep a man, keep him interested in you, make him get into a long-term relationship with you, how to please him sexually I mean the list goes on. I don't understand why and how did us women come to this point where we're dying to get men and willing to do everything for them, play all kinds of games but men just want to use us and don't bother to do even the bare minimum because they know they don't have to. They'll keep finding one woman and then another and then another without having to do anything. There's absolutely no advice on internet for men on how to change their behaviour, how to learn to love women, how to learn to commit and be there for their women and kids
@@saeedm9320 That's the point of my post. We don't need to do anything. The only advice I really follow online is how to be my best self and so should everyone else. You don't need to keep a man interested in you or make him fall for you, etc etc. You don't need to do anything. When you decide what you will accept and what you won't the wrong people will fall away (not just men but everyone) and you'll start to attract people that value you and treat you with respect. Not all men are bad, lazy or abusive. I grew up with three brothers who are good men and fantastic partners and fathers.
Don't invest more into a relationship than your partner is investing. It's a simple formula that never fails. If he invests very little and your doing all the work you appear desperate. It's also a sign that he could take you or leave you. Don't expend another ounce of energy....move on to someone who really WANTS to be with you.
how r u measuring how much s/she's invested?? by what?(im sure its not money.)
@donk8105Sounds like you’re just not into him. Let him free. Move on.
Yes, you cannot play hard to get. Show him you are interested in getting to know him. Tell him you appreciate him, ask for his advice, be curious and listen well when he shares something big with you. Be a giver, not just a taker.
I think u should play hard to get a little bit
At first, just a little, dont be tooooo easy.
I'm playing hard to get it's safer..I stop texting this guy he was annoyed all the time I have him space now he keeps calling and texting me..I think he is getting a little scared.lmfao I don't care I can play it to!!
Not too easy with them.. they love the challenge and the mystery
@@setme4ree wrong
For me, when I quit trying to hook a man and realized it wasn’t my road to fulfillment, I made room for all kinds of other incredible magic in my life. Then, my partner just showed up. No trying, no self blame thinking I was somehow not good enough-I just changed my focus. The one I was waiting for had been there all along-it was me.
I ❤ IT! SO BEAUTIFUL.....
I'm happy for you. ❤ And am there now, too. But still haven't met the right one.
When I met my husband in 1986, it was instant chemistry- but he told me no when I offered him my phone number. He said he needed to be the one to ask for it. I loved that. He’s a gentleman and very masculine. We’re best friends. We’ve always been in love whether with new babies, teen years, elderly parents, and now as empty nesters. Our son takes after him and so do our sons in law. So happy our daughters have real men. Thanks for all you do.
A guy offered his number to me and it was a huge turn off to me. I told him I don’t take numbers down and he started acting different afterwards
Clone that man
*Building a connection in the early stages of dating is important, but let's prioritize being authentic and true to ourselves. Focus on shared interests, open conversations, and mutual respect.*
The girls talking with your voice at 4:57 just made my day
Superb video! I rarely suggest anything, but Women's Magic Truths on Borlest is worth it. This book has exceptional knowledge on manifestation. Best of luck to everyone!
As a woman, I am ready to commit to a relationship with a man when I feel safe, secure, loved and respected by that man.
"Communicate your standards in an attractive way!!!!"
#3. Enthusiasm and excitement are magnetic. Everyone wants to hang out with someone who is fun! 🙂
Hey hello
Yeah really nice
How are you doing
A real person isn't always fun.
Very true unfortunately.
Whaaa, I’m late 50s and watching dating advice!! My husband died six years ago and I haven’t dated much. I’m more afraid now. It all used to be easier. I am learning here! It is fun and encouraging. Thank you!
I'm in my late sixties, widowed, it's anything goes now. Many predators. Careful.
No one communicates by talking anymore. That’s a huge problem with the way relationships are these days. Social media, dating apps, texting. Lol none of it is good if you’re actually serious about finding a relationship.
well i will say this here, if you are friends with the person first you wont have to go by rules of what not to say, your partner is not only your person you want to date they are suppose to be your best friend and you both tell each other everything so you both can work on each others flaws together, then you can build with that person love isn't rules what is meant to be will be just be yourself act normal and be the persons friend first then go from there then in the end you will get what you want in the end because with that person to built a bound as a union then the man will marry you just relax and be spontaneous be free be honest be loyal and follow your heart and you will be okay, not expecting the man to do everything be bold take care and work with him he is human and so are you live life enjoy life together and free yourself from love rules and then you will get what you really want from that man because in the end true love wins over any rule in the book of love rules of someone else's opinions not all men are the same nor the women so I'm just saying here this go with the flow and flow your heart your love way will come naturally if you just chill out and relax be loyal honest and most importantly become your lovers best friend than all things of true love will come together naturally. good luck everyone bye bye
bnb0510 Correct! It’s already hard enough sometimes to communicate in person - never mind all the texting garbage. A lot of young people are in for a rude awakening where their relationships are concerned. They’re not going to know how to communicate when problems come up - and there will be problems along the way.
Antisocial media
Wise, wise, wise advice. I've successfully used some of the texts and I return to these videos for review when I'm dating. Communicate your standards with confidence to create the bliss point attraction. Mirror their energy. Don't make them a priority or give them boyfriend status before they have earned that right. Don not reach out anytime you're craving attention. Thanks Matthew & Team!
If a guy texts me something like ‘Hey you want to come over later we can order in and snuggle’ as a suggestion for a first date (and assuming that I gave him no indication that I was in a for a quick hookup) I write him off immediately
Hi
❤❤
I must be pretty naive because if a guy texted me that, I would not assume he meant he wanted to hookup💀😭
. Same!! 😢 I'm thinking in his mind he can't wait to really snuggle and did he just loves affection I'm 59 and still so naive
yes yes yes don’t even bother to respond and to explain yourself!!!!
Personally I would get ticked but would wait till he got there to tell him
Love these! Bonuses are spot on!
Also, figure out if you actually want him to be hooked on you before trying to hook him.
The last thing you want as a woman is to accidentally invite a stalker or a narcissist into your life because you're not focusing on using these tips with the right guy. Or like stated towards the end, running on ego.
I'm not even sure how I got here though... I've been happily dating myself for 4 yrs 😂
I like your user name
That’s great advice tho. Been there done that.
Our first date was skydiving. I'm not suggesting that for everyone but doing something thrilling really helped forge a bond because we did something ... experienced something together that none of the friends in our various circles can relate to. It was the first time for both of us and it encouraged us to do more firsts together.
We
Be careful with that kind of experiences, it's a love bombing tecnique in a narc.
@@dayanacba good. call.
This is a known scientific finding. I wonder... I’m sure there are men who do this on purpose.
Woow! We went played a tennis match. It was a nice and easy first time meet
well i will say this here, if you are friends with the person first you wont have to go by rules of what not to say, your partner is not only your person you want to date they are suppose to be your best friend and you both tell each other everything so you both can work on each others flaws together, then you can build with that person love isn't rules what is meant to be will be just be yourself act normal and be the persons friend first then go from there then in the end you will get what you want in the end because with that person to built a bound as a union then the man will marry you just relax and be spontaneous be free be honest be loyal and follow your heart and you will be okay, not expecting the man to do everything be bold take care and work with him he is human and so are you live life enjoy life together and free yourself from love rules and then you will get what you really want from that man because in the end true love wins over any rule in the book of love rules of someone else's opinions not all men are the same nor the women so I'm just saying here this go with the flow and flow your heart your love way will come naturally if you just chill out and relax be loyal honest and most importantly become your lovers best friend than all things of true love will come together naturally. good luck everyone bye bye
I hate phone calls in general. I only call if there is a good reason or to avoid a misunderstanding. I prefer texting, it's quiet, you don't interrupt people, and you can always come back and reread the text to make sure you got it right.
I loved the "bliss point" part. Very useful.
Texting shows lack of social skills. How can you not want to hear the person's voice? What did you do before texting? To me texting is lazy. I want to speak to someone. Most people do.
texting is the new social skill! i’m all for it and a phone call when it feels nice, not an only choice
How can you like someone and not want to eventually physically talk to them . Seems immature
Eew some of the guys I met text the relationship away, the latest one even split up through text lol I find it so immature. Whenever there was a misunderstanding I d pick up the phone to clear the air, and he wouldn't respond preferring to argue over texts, I couldn't handle this crap. People hiding behind the wall , never again, it's so childish imo.
I used to hate it but I found if a guy really likes you he'll call you. If he just texts....it's not serious.
I have been with my husband for almost 17 years. My standards were high when I met him and they still are. We have the kind of relationship that people dream of. Standards are super important for communication! And communication is the bedrock.
How did you balance the communication standards with giving someone the benefit of the doubt? I feel I have very high standards but not many people can reach them because of life, attention issues, emotional or maturity issues or who knows... the difficulty is knowing when to let something slide and when to call it out. I HATE lack of communication but, again, I have high standards because I tend to over communicate to people. Any advice much appreciated. I'm at the point in a relationship where someone has changed his communication openness with me after 2 months feeling safe and open with hi.. it's super bizarre and confusing and I'm unsure how to proceed.
@@jamielawrence4749 What?! After 2 months he finally makes the first move with a Hi text? That’s what it sounds like your saying. Is that correct? If so, that is beyond odd.
Yeah, sure there's tons of sh*t you won't tell.
the part about appreciating his efforts on a date is so true. Men can be very sensitive and feel rejected when we are just being honest about an activity, even if we actually really like him. It's hard cuz sometimes we don't like their choices, especially if we have been independent for a while as women... but Matthew says 'act excited'. Sometimes it's hard to act excited 😂 but i think telling the guy 'I appreciate this' is good too. Its also important to be genuine about what interests you have in common. Don't fake it if you don't like the outdoors or being physically active. Don't fake anything. Do not get into a relationship with someone if you don't like the same activities. If you have interests in common you will be genuinely excited.
Wow, Matthew. Your videos are amazing. I love that you don’t beat around the bush. You get straight to the point. I really appreciate all your comments and advice. Thank you for your help. I’m a 79 year old widow who just joined a dating site. I’ve already met a very nice guy online. Your advice is very important to me.
Ok besides being easy on the eyes, omg I can listen to him talk all day long. Love. Love, his voice.
Or u marriad ??
👧👧❤❤🌷🌷🌷
setting up boundaries is a priority. After 25 year marriage starting dating in my almost 50's is very challenging lol. Thank you for the video
Matt I came to see you many years ago and your advice is light years from where you were many years back to then.. it felt samey, boring and like every other dating coach out there.. to be honest it didn’t feel authentic!
Fast forward 10 years and you have found YOUR VOICE, these videos are absolutely amazing 🤩
Great advice without confusion or over explanation.. clear, concise and definitely works.
I say definitely works because it’s what I am doing already and I’m seeing results.
Thank you Matt for confirming that I’m indeed doing what I ought to be doing wether I get the guy or not.. at least I’m valuing myself and setting boundaries.
Can’t wait for more from you.❤
I watched a lot of this guy's videos when I started dating my current husband. I think that's all that needs to be said lol.
I cannot get enough of your videos! I'm in the early dating stages with a guy who I've known since we were younger so it's not as awkward or anything but this video helped me soooo much and I really feel like we're both into each other the same amount and could have something great! I cannot express enough how helpful your videos have been so thank you so much! Please never stop posting! 😊
How did it go?
How did it go?
This is funny. I'm already married with kids, but I'm watching this and realizing everything I've done wrong with men in the past. Like, everything!
So how did you get married? You must have done something right. Perhaps you should make your own videos.
@@mewho6199 It's a long story how I ended up with my husbend. I do make videos, I have a booktube channel in Hebrew 😉 Been watching this channel because Im writing a novel about dating.
@@michalpitowsky Cool.
@@michalpitowsky WOW!! That's Awesome!!! 🤓📖 Can u think of anything that wasn't mentioned that u did diff that worked well for u? If I may ask... what kind of novel r u writing? Like a fiction love story or rules of dating gone bad? 😁♥ LOL
Giving the same energy that you're getting
is key
and if you don't like that energy
then move on.
It can be hard
but that's when you need to choose yourself
over the fantasy.
A man who loves a woman will not ignore her, period.
So...
If he ignores me
I will step back
and he will lose me.
I don’t play any of these childish abusive controlling mind games.
I will only be with a man who values and appreciates me,
and treats me as the Queen, I AM.
Because I am a beautiful and kind and sexy and wise and magical woman:
who knows my worth.
Period.
My dear, I'm 48 years old and while I appreciate your videos, perhaps it's time you do something for the men cause they have no idea. Show them how to be a man. Show them how to win and sustain the woman's interest. Tell them the difference between a boy and a man. Tell them its easy to win a woman but its not in the winning, its in the journey. I want to see you doing that to show the men how to be real men.
You are so right about what you say. Men do need to learn how to be men. It's important to know how to sustain a relationship long term. I stopped dating because I encountered men who have no clue on how to date and act like men. Its gets old to see how some act. I've noticed that some younger men act more emotionally mature than men my age. Who wants to be dating a man who is clueless and classless.? They need to step up to the plate.
@@madelynnazario8361 I am at a stage in my life that i dont need a man but i would want one that could live it up. However, i couldnt find one yet and like you, i'm giving up. The older i get, the more standards i have but luckily, the more independent I am
There are channels for that but they dont contain the content you expect.
Men dont "win and sustain" a woman interest by doing something for her, we do it by bettering ourselves. If we buy flowers, chocolates, gifts, etc. That gets immediate attention but not something sustainable. On the other hand if we are doing our grind, leading a good life and having a healthy body women will naturally give us attention and we can choose who we reciprocate.
Men are real men when they focus on their purpose, not on women.
@@ChaosAngel667 it's true but a real man would want to do it for his woman too. I believe a lot of women would agree with me on this. No need the flowers & chocolates but the genuine care, concern, the leadership by example, the having our interests at heart all goes a long way
@@jennyacyl thats YOUR definition of a real man. Many of us grew up with that definition and tried to apply it only to get disrespected.
Thats why real men define themselves based on their purpose, not on female standards.
My husband actually called me, didn't text me, he actually called me and right there and then I could see this one was special.
I do not like texting. My experience is, if they only want to text and not talk on the phone, this is a HUGE red flag!
Yes is trueeee 💔I should have known before
Jesus women won't put the freaking phone down!
Oh lord I prefer texting...cuz then you can stop the conservation whenever...as an introvert there is nothing more scary than someone talking your ears off
Sometimes texts are nice to revisit. A mix of both work well
I hate talking on the phone lol
Life is like dating, all new relationships, work, clients, meeting new people, starting new business ventures etc... You need to set standards from the beginning and be communicative
Bravo 👏 👏 👏
Amazing!! Been seeing someone new after breaking up with a one year toxic person. Just right on time!!❤️❤️❤️
well i will say this here, if you are friends with the person first you wont have to go by rules of what not to say, your partner is not only your person you want to date they are suppose to be your best friend and you both tell each other everything so you both can work on each others flaws together, then you can build with that person love isn't rules what is meant to be will be just be yourself act normal and be the persons friend first then go from there then in the end you will get what you want in the end because with that person to built a bound as a union then the man will marry you just relax and be spontaneous be free be honest be loyal and follow your heart and you will be okay, not expecting the man to do everything be bold take care and work with him he is human and so are you live life enjoy life together and free yourself from love rules and then you will get what you really want from that man because in the end true love wins over any rule in the book of love rules of someone else's opinions not all men are the same nor the women so I'm just saying here this go with the flow and flow your heart your love way will come naturally if you just chill out and relax be loyal honest and most importantly become your lovers best friend than all things of true love will come together naturally. good luck everyone bye bye
one thing to notice when someone is for you is see how many times you both meet without even setting the meeting.
told this one guy that im leaving him to do other stuff. if the universe brings us together again ill talk to you again and we can continue seeing one another. we never texted any future arrangements. he took off work to come looking for me the following day, had no clue where or when ill be out somewhere. He just knew he wanted to have me.
I woke up and decided to walk to the store and crossed over into the parking lot and saw his vehicle. soon as we got closer to speak, i told him i saw you first, "he said," no. I saw you first".
I tried to laugh but i was so damn aggravated that day about my life situation and conditions I couldnt laugh or even think about how we ended up meeting up again.
so now a few days passed and all of a sudden my period didnt come on.
I started thinking about all the times we messed around for 4 months without a condom.
and he was snipped. I looked and dug into some research on how possible is it that i could be pregnant if he visited a phlebotomist and got a vasectomy years ago before we even met. I plan on buying a baby shoe and throwing at him next time i see him and saying, " what have you done". you got some explaining to do mr. Im suppose to be joining the air force soon. I cannot be pregnant. He called but he always call from uknown numbers. but ive been ignoring him because im trying to wait to see if my period will come on soon. im scared to go even buy a preg test. and im not going to kill any child. i dont believe in it.
also we like each other and i ended up loving him and broke his shades infont of him because he wasnt ready for that yet. he looked and did nothing. i told him he making me too stressed out. now he still wants to see me. he loves a little crzy cause im an Aries that is crazy when someone stressed me out. Plus he use to be in the army and has grown up kids. And enjoys our time together. He always try to ask me if i wanna try this or that and if i dont he makes sure he doesnt do it again. He cares about my feelings as i do his. He is actually the guy ive always wanted to have.
his fat ass. im slim and cute. hes ok with his looks but hes cute because hes a very short guy and i like that. plus hes shy and yells when upset. i like that kind of aggressive behavior.
My current boyfriend actually thanked me for cuddling after our first time, men really do want the same thing as us
I m here ❤❤❤🌷🌷🌷🌷🙋🙋
I've never experienced a man wanting the same as us. Your boyfriend is the outlier.
This video's aesthetic is so reminiscent of early 2000's. It's so cute
You have really helped me Matthew. I have been really struggling in the dating process after coming out of a 7 year relationship with a toxic man. I grew up watching toxicity within my parents marriage. It has been hard to break the cycle in my own life and even harder to walk away from someone I want because I know they don’t meet my standards but your videos help me get out of my head and focus on what is truly important and that loving ourselves the most. Thank you for your content!
I am actually in a happy relationship and only here because its still rock solid life advice thats totally worth hearing.
:)
After years and years watching this very vid, I finally made it.
He invited me out, I showed interest and he only replied 24 hs later, for tonight.
I said I loved the choice and will love to go there some other time, encaixe I made plans after not hearing from him.
I’m anxious but this vid made me slightly more confident
… be an adult. That’s my favourite line. Not even professional communicators are competent at doing that. Instead they let their ego take over and make assumptions and beat around the bush and do shady things to avoid telling the truth. This is a life lesson people should learn when they’re 7 not when there in their 30s and 40s. Speak up..,,wake up….grow up.
Dude.... 🙏🏽🤦🏼♀️🙌🏽
Learned behaviors from dysfunctional parents during our informative years. Unlearning them is difficult for all.
I love you Matt. My dad was diagnosed w dementia when I was 9 and you’ve helped me so much as far as not having male guidance in my life
I am so sorry so hard. My mother was older and I felt ripped off when she passed I was 33. I can’t imagine your loss. I purposely got married much younger and had my child as soon as I could so I wouldn’t do that to her.
Utilize that voice message button. Text can easily be misconstrued and screw up everything. Nothing beats human voice. It's not what we say, it's how we say it.
Woo hoo! I'm already a popcorn buyer! About the phone,..I actually prefer texting to ask if it's ok to call. I work unusual hours so its more convenient that way.
Sexual intimacy is best & most fruitfully expressed in committed relationships. Our bodies are sacred temples & merging yourself with someone you ‘think you like’ is quite reckless. I like so much of your philosophy Matthew - however this point which is taken for granted in our modern culture is lacking eternal perspective. Covenant is something our generation needs to rediscover and soon.
Oh god , what world do you live in😂😂😂
I agree with you.
Hi ❤❤😍
This is by far the best video of yours I’ve seen.
What to do, what not to do, and why.
So helpful and concise.
Please more like this.
The contribution part is true for women as well. Naturally, I am a giver. I give my all and then some, but VERY RARELY do others give anything such as effort towards me. And that’s something I want as well in all types of relationships in my life -> not necessarily equal, but FAiR contribution from the other person, rather than just me putting in effort. I’ve been told by a friends, coworkers and a lot of acquaintances that I’ve got a heart of gold and my mom used to tell me and others that I don’t have a single mean bone in my body.🙈 My infinite, unconditional love, kindness and compassion for everyone often results in me getting taken advantage of.🙈Lol
Oh god are you me? Stay strong fellow empathetic soul ❤️
@@artistevivien Always !💪🏼💛🕊😁
You have to be all that for yourself too, not just for others. And when you do, there’s boundaries and there’s no boundaries crossed or you walk away. You stop giving to the wrong person. It’s not only them. It’s us too. We allow them to treat us that way.
@@mvcesteves don’t worry, I’ve realized and have been working on this for myself within the last couple of years ! 😁🥰
Love yourself more. Period
Wow, I have been doing everything wrong. I usually end up driving them away or they pull back. I've been told " you're a lot" " you're too much" or " I can't keep up with you."
I get so excited easily. I guess I scare them off. It sucks I feel things intensely or too passionate.
I hear so much dating advice that's contradictory.
I subscribed at "buy the popcorn" because this I something I have always done and the reaction by the man has always been positive. Often they even mention how nice it was. I sent this video to myself for the next four mornings to watch it every day
This was critical info Matthew. Im a single mom, work full time, taking 1 college class. I got burned in past. Talking to someone new now and setting up standards and boundaries is working awesome. Not games but managing my time with new person saying I only have Xyz amt of time each day. Like you said we all do!!! Energy depletes. Then we must rest.. Let's use our us time and not waste it when we schedule it.. We are texting throughout the day past month to keep close and slowly get acquainted. And we are taking time getting to know each other FIRST!!!! All prior relationships...hopped in sack. Got 🔥, had no standards, no boundaries, did not get to know each. Now focusing on bond first for several months, see if we are a match. Plenty of time down road to hop in the sack. Not just yet buddy!!! Ladies run your busy days, and take your time getting to know your new men! No games but we deserve the time to get to know guy we are considering dating and hopping in sack!
You are well come 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
I m here for u
I
Love
Love
Love
Loooooooooooooove you so soooooooo much real and true I need you S eriousely
I like u
Well u merry me
👧👧👧💍💍💍😍😍❤❤❤🌷🌷🌷🌷 I m intrested far u and me come meet me I m alone
My favorite to avoid the nuisance of classical dating: just go into groups that fit your interests - you might notice you like someone, get to know them better, will already have some preinformation about them and the group accountability which will make it more safe. And if you don't notice someone in the group or it turns out the one you liked doesn't work as a partner you still had a good time, met new people and potentially found friends. Also these friends might invite you into new circles that already fit you. Going on a two person "date" with a person I've never met seems way to much stress and unpredicatability to me - even if I might like them. I value my time to highly for that so I will only go meet seperately with a person I have already screened in person as interesting to me.
Matthew you're amazing 😭 I'm so glad I found your channel. On the last segment where you talk about the 5 things you should do to manage your energy I literally sobbed because these are all the things I've been doing wrong for years now. Each one. I give way too much of myself.. And this whole time I've been wondering why I always end up being in one sided relationships (friendships and intimate) and now I know why. It's emotionally draining and after a while it can really break your spirit. These are all things I really needed guidance with so thank you so much for making this 😭 I'm going to really try and implement your wisdom.
Wow. Confidence & Competence. Thank you for this material.
Oooo, that's how I felt about my job. Like I was giving the best and they just drained me. I'm much better now. #quit
Dating is more hard and complicated than the books I read, even interviews are less complicated 🤔
I honestly think the second one is not working everywhere. Don't forget about the cultural context. In my home country you can offer to pay, but if you really do so, you are acknowledged as a too independent feminist women. Gestures matter however. I have always offered paying, the reaction was mixed. Used to my mum told me sometimes you have to let the men to be men and that's all. And men feel good if they can invite you. You can have other feminine gestures, like you remember something small he likes, a food, chocolate, and you buy give it to him, if you have the opportunity to do so. It works. And being patient, hear the other person and understand instead of chasing him helps a lot as well 😃 .
i love this advice for woman but this way of dating and this way of thinking is just for women, isn't it? i mean men don't act like that at all. they just think of sex all the time, especially when they're dating someone . but actually i got a great tip from my boyfriend that something like spanish fly enhanicng the whole expereince is the best and should be for all the couples
#4 had me rolling 😂😂😂 so true!! Not even people in general like to pick up their phone like a grown up to talk on the phone. Most people all they want to do is just text.
well i will say this here, if you are friends with the person first you wont have to go by rules of what not to say, your partner is not only your person you want to date they are suppose to be your best friend and you both tell each other everything so you both can work on each others flaws together, then you can build with that person love isn't rules what is meant to be will be just be yourself act normal and be the persons friend first then go from there then in the end you will get what you want in the end because with that person to built a bound as a union then the man will marry you just relax and be spontaneous be free be honest be loyal and follow your heart and you will be okay, not expecting the man to do everything be bold take care and work with him he is human and so are you live life enjoy life together and free yourself from love rules and then you will get what you really want from that man because in the end true love wins over any rule in the book of love rules of someone else's opinions not all men are the same nor the women so I'm just saying here this go with the flow and flow your heart your love way will come naturally if you just chill out and relax be loyal honest and most importantly become your lovers best friend than all things of true love will come together naturally. good luck everyone bye bye
Yep 👍🏿
I like texting sometimes
Yes, they put the caption...text only, no call😅
I agree with the communication techniques. When my now husband asked me on what I want to do for our valentines date. I told him : Surprise me :) man, did he went all out. He booked a restaurant with flower, cake, and hired a string band. I thought he was going to propose. I was genuinely nervousn
The part about calling & Alexander Graham Bell made me laugh because texting with my brother once (& I was getting tired) he said, “ You do realize you have a phone in your hand, right?”😀
well i will say this here, if you are friends with the person first you wont have to go by rules of what not to say, your partner is not only your person you want to date they are suppose to be your best friend and you both tell each other everything so you both can work on each others flaws together, then you can build with that person love isn't rules what is meant to be will be just be yourself act normal and be the persons friend first then go from there then in the end you will get what you want in the end because with that person to built a bound as a union then the man will marry you just relax and be spontaneous be free be honest be loyal and follow your heart and you will be okay, not expecting the man to do everything be bold take care and work with him he is human and so are you live life enjoy life together and free yourself from love rules and then you will get what you really want from that man because in the end true love wins over any rule in the book of love rules of someone else's opinions not all men are the same nor the women so I'm just saying here this go with the flow and flow your heart your love way will come naturally if you just chill out and relax be loyal honest and most importantly become your lovers best friend than all things of true love will come together naturally. good luck everyone bye bye
I really love everything he's saying. He's giving great advice
Even if looking for something ‘casual’ (or just something that’s not a relationship that is working toward marriage/forever) I still have a real dates only policy before going over.
i just started dating 2 years ago after being married for 25 years. I stumbled upon Matthew and all his dating advice, and in most cases, if not all, he gives really good advice. He knows what he is talking about. I'm still single, which is ok, I'm not a 20 something year old looking to get married, have kids, the house, the dog, etc. But I have dated a lot and been on a lot of first dates and his hints and advice, is pretty spot on. I'm dating a couple of decent guys right now, and I know so much more on how to date and attract really good men.
youre dating a COUPLE of guys, so you're playing games with them, that's the problem, when you play stupid games you win stupid prizes.
You are well come
🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
I need you really I like u S eriousely
I love u so so much forever
I make u so so happy I m alone
Well you merry me I m intrested
👧👧👧💍💍💍💍😍😍😍😍😍😍❤❤❤❤❤❤🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷
Ladies please don't initiate contact first to prove you're an 'adult' as men that really want to go on a 2nd 3rd or 4th date with you will definitely make the phone call or txt first.... Men never feel like they need your 'permission' to call you 🤣📞 if he wants you he will do what it takes and if he doesnt plenty more fish in the sea :)
Wonder Woman You are absolutely correct! Let the man do the initiating and more of the work - and he will if he’s interested. Let the man be the man and the woman be the woman.
@@georgialee6755 so many women don't let the man take initiative anymore
After years of people saying “You’re being to needy” or “You’re acting like you don’t care at all” it’s nice to get some actual advice of what to do.
I always thought that your partner ends up being your best friend for the good and the bad. I think it is as hard to find a really good friend as finding someone to have a truthful relationship. I also believe that physical attraction plays a huge part.
Right! It’s awesome when the one you want to be with is also your true friend. Rough when the guy has a lot going for him but lacks in the attraction area. That’s me right me. The person I’ve been getting to know the past 2 months is a good guy but I’m not physically attracted to him. I did inform him friends first because for me friends is more important than getting physical. I’ve come across too many guys who want and or expect to much physical first who don’t take the time to actually get to know each other. I also have an annoyance with the current guy I’ve been sharing time with, and that’s that when he speaks his voice his soooo low. Really really annoying. I’m constantly asking what did you say? That gets old real fast. A part of me wants to see where this goes simply based on him being a good guy. But I don’t see anything life long here.
Holy God !! I can't believe how helpful this video has been. How I wish I had seen this before I started seeing this guy a year and a half ago. I see everywhere I went wrong. I did start watching your videos back in summer 2020, before I met him, but then of course I got sidetracked by our relationship and didn't go back to your informative advice. Thankyou Matthew
Hmmm interesting!
Just make sure you hook someone that feels the same way you feel about him
I was with a covert narsasist who had abusive traits & child hood trauma
Who also had a tendency to Cheat with different woman who he also payed for
I used to be this person
Get excited over the little things
Now it's just hard as in having to start over again ,
Knowing that everyone is different and not all the same ....
I think I'm starting to find my self more
Now and starting to get out and about
I've been doing some of these, already. Glad to know I'm on the right path. 😁 I'll be sure to watch this a few more times, to remind myself of what I should continue doing, and what I should start doing. Thanks, again, Matthew!
Same here unbeknownst to me! Heading in the right direction.
I recently found Matthew on a Mel Robbins podcast. Spot on advice. Thank you. I definitely have given more of my energy in the past. Lucky I’ve learned to prioritize myself and my family.
This is one of the best videos that I have seen regarding setting boundaries and “what to say” scenarios. Thank you so much, Matthew, for providing us with some healthy tools that we can use that actually make sense! Your guidance, viewpoint, and humor is so valuable and appreciated. Have a beautiful day 😘 *winky face* haha
Completely agree, although tbh, I’m still in love with the ‘limbo’ video clip, that one was phenomenal 😊
yes as a male i like the tips he gave. its a good giving and taking. set boundrys but respekt his too. This is one thing many girls i met has forgotten: a relationship is not a one way show. and let me say he is total right. we don´t care if we pay for the first date, but we really like such a gesture. Cose many of us was used as a so calld mealticket and most of us don´t like it, but to find this out means its allready to late.
@@Barlmoro I don’t think anything is too late 😊. Demonstrating respect, developing boundaries, communication and learning how to show gratitude are all learned skill sets that we all develop and improve throughout our lives. I’m sure we can all think of plenty of examples of people who never learn lmao but I guess as long as we work on our own learning and skill sets we can make our own mini world around us a more awesome place to be
@@lunar686 with to late i mean following: you have a date with a girl, you pay for it and after that she ghost you or sometimes the says it that the only datet you for the free meal. so you find out she is not interestet in you but took your meal offer. If you would know this in the first place you would not go for the dinner, but at this point its to late, the meal is allready paid.
well i will say this here, if you are friends with the person first you wont have to go by rules of what not to say, your partner is not only your person you want to date they are suppose to be your best friend and you both tell each other everything so you both can work on each others flaws together, then you can build with that person love isn't rules what is meant to be will be just be yourself act normal and be the persons friend first then go from there then in the end you will get what you want in the end because with that person to built a bound as a union then the man will marry you just relax and be spontaneous be free be honest be loyal and follow your heart and you will be okay, not expecting the man to do everything be bold take care and work with him he is human and so are you live life enjoy life together and free yourself from love rules and then you will get what you really want from that man because in the end true love wins over any rule in the book of love rules of someone else's opinions not all men are the same nor the women so I'm just saying here this go with the flow and flow your heart your love way will come naturally if you just chill out and relax be loyal honest and most importantly become your lovers best friend than all things of true love will come together naturally. good luck everyone bye bye
This was life changing and amazing. Thank you so much and have a good day. I really needed to hear this
This is actually solid advice, huh. Usually people are not this insightful with relationship advice in my experience. Nice 👏👏👏
This is so on point! Getting him to commit to the first date was like pulling teeth. I was about to give up and he asked me to dinner. It was great. So much in common. I really like him and the date went well! 🎉
Setting boundaries and standards is so different than expectations. I thought I was doing the right thing by being clear up front that I wanted a long term relationship. I put out there what I was 'expecting' and didn't give him a chance to let his feelings develop. He broke it off after 4 weeks. I was devastated because I really liked him. Lesson learned!
I don't think you're entirely wrong. If you put it out there that you're dating to explore the possibility of a long-term relationship, and he's not looking for the same. It's probably good that he left early! Don't bother with the guys who are not showing up. Walk away and cut your losses.
I don’t agree with the point of not reaching out if I need attention. When one in the partnership needs reassurance, the other partner should give it. This is about consistently supporting each other, and there are times when I need, or she needs, to know I’m thinking of her, and vice versa. We should feel safe to reach out when we need reassurance. This is part of a healthy relationship. Depending on and reaching out to our partner for emotional support is not bad, it’s part of a healthy relationship. If I cannot depend on my partner to give me emotional support when I need it, that’s a red flag. Studies show this is critically important for a healthy life, longevity, and a healthy relationship.
About the three text message scenarios, perhaps except for the first one (hey what are we gonna do today.), if a guy does one of the other two, he isn’t interested so stop contacting him and move on with your life. Don’t sit around thinking of how to send an attractive message, especially if you’re a young woman. You should spend more time on developing your interests, hobbies and investing in yourself (knowledge, career, etc.) if you have to make a lot of effort to “make” someone like you, it’s not meant to be
Its like this video was meant for me!!! I did this (setting standards) before I saw this but its like cosmic confirmation that I am doing the right thing! Thanks Matthew!!
Matthew, BEST video yet! I realize these are nothing you haven’t said before, but perhaps I was just ready to hear it. I saw myself in a scenario and had an ‘aha’ moment. Been single after wasting too many years with a narcissist because I don’t trust I won’t hook up with one again. (I chose to ignore red flags) ❤️Thank you
True! To the point and very helpful tips!
I also wasted far too many years with one than one narcissist. Now I know what to look out for, thanks to lots of great UA-camrs. Best of luck to you!
well i will say this here, if you are friends with the person first you wont have to go by rules of what not to say, your partner is not only your person you want to date they are suppose to be your best friend and you both tell each other everything so you both can work on each others flaws together, then you can build with that person love isn't rules what is meant to be will be just be yourself act normal and be the persons friend first then go from there then in the end you will get what you want in the end because with that person to built a bound as a union then the man will marry you just relax and be spontaneous be free be honest be loyal and follow your heart and you will be okay, not expecting the man to do everything be bold take care and work with him he is human and so are you live life enjoy life together and free yourself from love rules and then you will get what you really want from that man because in the end true love wins over any rule in the book of love rules of someone else's opinions not all men are the same nor the women so I'm just saying here this go with the flow and flow your heart your love way will come naturally if you just chill out and relax be loyal honest and most importantly become your lovers best friend than all things of true love will come together naturally. good luck everyone bye bye
I wish I had found your channel 3 years ago. I met in my eyes, the perfect man. This could have helped immensely 😢. We parted ways very fast.
I read “how to bag a high caliber man in 12 weeks”. They explained that the feminine doesn’t have to invest financially. She invests in other ways. The more a man invests in you (time, energy, money) the more he will like you
You're making a positive difference with your content.
I'd love to date again. But it's impossible to actually meet someone unless it's on a god awful dating site where people hide who they really are! What happened to the old fashioned way!(?) Dance-Pub-Work-mutual friend etc. Then, text-phone-date😬. And it gets worse as I get older too!
Your suggestions are so candid and valuable! Thank you Matthew for this video. It is a gift!
*Me as a man watching Matthew explain things and realizing he's totally got me pegged*
"Somebody, stop him! He's ruining what little power we have left!"
Lmao!!! Mathew this is giving the show Drunk History!! I love it! wow I’ve been peeking in on and off at your videos for a while now, but you’re putting so much energy into these videos bravo!! The lip sync and narration!