10 Signs of Grandiose Narcissistic Abuse
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- Опубліковано 5 тра 2024
- This video answers the question: Can I talk about grandiose narcissistic abuse? I will cover 10 signs of grandiose narcissistic abuse.
Grandiose narcissism has a pathological variant called narcissistic personality disorder.
Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by grandiosity, fantasy, envy, sense of entitlement, arrogance, feeling special, manipulation, need for admiration, and lack of empathy. Vulnerable narcissism does not, however, there are some disorders which are close.
Grandiose and vulnerable narcissism share some characteristics: self-centeredness, a sense of entitlement, and a need for admiration. Using the five-factor model (OCEAN: openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism) we see that both have low agreeableness.
Grandiose narcissism is characterized by arrogance, being socially bold, having high self- confidence, having superficial charm, being resistant to criticism, callous/unemotional traits, optimism, externalized anger, and high extraversion
Vulnerable narcissism is characterized by being resentful, distrusting other people, insecurity, shame, hypersensitivity, low extraversion, defensiveness, being avoidant, anxious, depressed, socially awkward, shy, pessimistic, having self-absorbed aloofness, and a fragile sense of self.
It is an 'I hate you, don't leave me.' feeling you have as a co-dependent in a relationship with a narc. It is a horrible feeling.
My parents and a really bad ex of mine whom I’m still having trouble getting over
Also, you can’t reason with them. They can tell you you need to change, but one thing you tell THEM to change, they turn around and tell you that you need to accept the way they are or you’re a horrible person or “misunderstanding” them.
"Oh we wanted you to be independent, so we didn't interfere with your life."
Uh I was a CHILD, and people were bullying me everyday. But you didn't bother to find out why I'm mad, just blamed me for being mad.
Its really like an "I hate you, but if you leave me I'll destroy you" your example is more of a BPD thought pattern. Dealing with a BPD partner would actually be slightly more preferred in a relationship. At least they'll express they care about you. Ya know, in their own crazy way.
That is so true...well put
You forgot one : constant lying/ story telling.
Yes and cheating too
AMEN!!!
Oh yes! About every which suits them! Yet want to know everything from you to fight it against you! I became silent i didn't told any of my thoughts deeply to such ever again! Took me years, ex hub
Yep 👍
@@LAHEX-yt6ux ahh yes. On the phone with my mom, “alright mom I got to go” because my husband is calling. She can’t stand that.. and will continue to talk for 10 more minutes. She says when the call is done...
I had a boyfriend for a while who was so grandiose. He would literally say he was better than everyone, he was awesome, he was always right (not ironically), he had all the tools to be mentally sound, and I did not, he could charm anyone, he could teach me to be a better version of myself...that's just for starters. On the eve of our breakup, he made me list everything that was wrong with me. I woke up to his behaviour that night and got the hell out. He was a fascinating case study, but a terrible human being.
Thank God you got out , find someone who loves you the way you are.
@@miagunner803 He would have definitely turned violent. He used to say it was absolutely fine to punch your partner if she was in your face. I'm shocked that I got involved with him, I always used to think you couldn't get involved with an abuser if you weren't somehow broken yourself. I was very wrong.
We
Sounds familiar
What's his IG, I promise I won't expose you. I find these people fascinating. I've been studying narcissism and personality disorders for 3 years now. Hit me up on IG @Danielfromconnecticut
I shortly dated a grandiose narcissist who was so out of touch with reality he had constructed an image that was pure fiction. It was almost a separate mental illness of complete delusion. He even made his beer belly into a sixpack in his mind 😱 He also gave me a list of rules I had to follow. What a douchebag.
LMFAO WHAT???? BEER BELLY SIXPACK
I'd walk away from a person in an instant if they gave me a list of rules to follow
Plot twist : delusion guy is
Law of attraction manifestation expert level😁
@@donguy8413 the only thing he manifested was my disappearance 😂
@@haldenkepple4242 depends on the rules if its like dont cheat im down but somehow i doubt that was all that was in there
I'd like to see videos about Narcissistic abuse in a Parent child relationship where the parent is the Narcissist mainly the father being that way
Ah, "parallel communication" !
I am so glad to finally have a term for this! I will finally be able to articulate this to my psychiatrist in an effective way! Thank you so much!
Partner is grandiose while I am vulnerable, this is so clear now..
When you mentioned the "victim feels like they're the problem" and the "list" my eyes widened. I had been so pushed down in a feeling of I must be the problem, that I had actually forgotten that I had gotten that type of list on a text, with the threat of both leaving and coming back. 🤯
I think you may have just described my ex almost completely. He was diagnosed narcissistic and schizophrenic. It was a horribly emotionally abusive and manipulative relationship. I had my own laundry list of emotional and mental disorders (panic, depression, PTSD, DID (now integrated) and others)) that he used to manipulate to always get his way. I didn't even realize how tense and exhausted I always was just being around him. If I tried to stand up to him or just not do what he wanted (or pay his way) he'd threaten to leave. I was so messed up that I thought that would be the worst thing in the world. He would visit female friends (who didn't know I was his girlfriend) and sleep in their bed "platonically". He had to know all my friends but if I accidentally met any of his "friends" I was introduced as his "friend". Mostly I never met any of his friends. He seemed charming when we first met, but everything he did or said he expected accolades like it was 'the word of a prophet'. If I was having fun with someone and he couldn't keep up (not nearly as intelligent as he promoted himself to be) he would literally fake a seizure or have a temper tantrum to bring the attention back to him. If we disagreed on a fact, he would yell and tantrum that I didn't know what I was talking about and if I proved him wrong after he made an ass out of himself (he did this multiple times) he'd fake a huge seizure and completely "forget" the whole argument took place. Same happened if he jumped to conclusions and picked a fight over something he'd completely misunderstood. Suddenly seizure and "how can you be mad at me, I don't even remember doing that!"
I finally had to undergo a great emotional growth and complete personal change (not explainable here) simply to be able to say no more.
The relief was palpable. The new me cannot even stand him. I look back at the way I was treated and can't believe the things I allowed.
We allow the victimization and keep ourselves from remembering that the whole world isn't like this. It becomes how you live and you forget that there's any other way. I just wish I'd had the strength to do it sooner and without having to lose myself in the process.
Congratulations on escaping such a toxic, soul destroying individual.
I know it's not an easy thing to do. Especially when you've been beaten down in every way and can't understand why or even how a person could be so cruel.
We lose so much of ourselves in these abusive and manipulative relationships.
To even have the strength to recognize and accept what's happened to us, is an accomplishment. To escape and live to tell about it, that's heroic.
Welcome to the rest of your life. May it be beautiful in every way.
Congratz there is truly another way.
I just found out that my business partner is schizophrenic and I believe a grandiose narcassist. He supposedly is ok at home but when he gets to work he is a different person. " I am the boss, how dare these employees do this etc." bark bark bark. He cant work with 75% of the employees. And these employees are good employees that have done nothing wrong. Its devastating to try to run a business when the other partner is a loose cannon. I have no idea at what point he is going to go into full blown hallucinations.
foxspirit38 I was married to a narcissist who was SO aggressive. He would verbally attack me seemingly out of nowhere. One example - early in the marriage we were standing in line to see a movie. All the other couples seemed to be having so much fun together. I think he noticed the same thing, and began to whisper hateful, insulting things to me. That day stands out in my memory because I could feel so much pain around my heart. I remember thinking that when I died and they opened me up, they would see only deep scars when they examined my heart and wonder how those scars came to be. Obviously, I wish now that I had had the common sense to turn around and walk home, pack my things and go back home. If I was still with him today, well, hindsight really is 2020. It sounds unbelievable now, but I stayed around for sixteen more years of ever-increasing emotional and verbal abuse, which just got worse and worse until finally it did become physical. Through a priest at my church, we were introduced to a retired psychiatrist who only saw clients through referral. With his help, I was able to finally leave this horrible narcissist and build a new life. Many years have gone by. I still see my ex maybe a couple of times a year on major holidays (we had children.) He is a shell. There's nothing really there, and I look at him with disbelief that I could have ever wanted to spend more than five minutes in his company. At least he did the female sex a favor and never remarried! We met at college and he had a lot going for him at that time. He SEEMED normal. He made top grades, earned a master's degree and was fairly successful for a few years in the business world. But he very gradually just got tired of making an effort, and finally attempted to defraud his company, was found out, and fired. Then lost me and lost the kids too. All the early ambition and success fizzled completely out. I don't believe it was me. He would have ended up with nothing and no one no matter who he had married! So he has ended up sad, burned out, and alone. I hope lots and lots of narcissists read this and heed my words. They could learn something. But they won't because, after all, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THEM, it's the other guy's fault! Well, just keep on. You'll get it eventually one way or another. One way ... or another ...
@@nancyayers6355 I'm so very glad you got yourself and your kids out of there. I can't imagine the horror of being stuck in there for so long. Thank God and all things holy that my ex and I never had kids together.
I do have a son, from my marriage in my early twenties (he was a neglector rather than abusive, but that's another story. I had issues in picking partners until my current one. I finally got it right. Or rather, I got lucky. I went into a spiral of bad choices and loser bf's (of which the narcissist was one) until I took a HUGE step back and decided to stop. For two years I lived for me. No relationships, no trying, just me. Then I met my one. About five and a half years ago).
Anyway, the narcissistic ex...I don't know why I decided that walking on eggshells and crying every single day over stupid things was OK. I don't know how you bore yours for so long. I know we turn it into normality in our heads, but your strength to pull away after so long amazes me. It took everything I had and a complete change of me just to get away after only 3½ years. You are amazing.
Sending you the world's biggest hugs.
My husband has a lot of these traits, the superficial charm (he completely changed in the worst ways right after we were married), the lack of emotional and intellectual stimulation (he tells me to shut up majority of the time when I try to talk to him), making you feel worthless and telling you you are, explosive anger (throwing things at me, spitting on me, punching, kicking, saying horrible things). I’m not completely sure if he is a grandiose narcissist but there’s definitely something wrong with him 😒
That’s anti social behavior
"My husband"
It doesn't matter whether he's a narcissist, get the hell away from him before it's too late
Dr Grande, This episode hit home for me today, in several ways. Thank you for getting right to the point and giving relatable examples.
Exactly
It was the craziest experience of my life!
Very interesting. And I agree with the points you've made. There are quite vengeful people with NPD who pursue & harass past victims (sometimes covertly) who have "escaped" them. Also an issue. 🐯
@UCOFHx-TQXpbxxp-nA5cVnqQ Interesting "modification" to Mary L. Some with NPD don't seem to forgive and forget. And some victims are so tormented, they may attempt to warn others from a distance, but the objective is to get out. This can occur in a long-term relationship. Picture the NPD who targets someone with ASD who is extremely High-functioning, but still has this naivete, honesty, loyalty that's central to their personality. They may love the NPD, despite everything. Then the brutality begins. The verbal cruelty. It escalates. The person with ASD may not perceive a "mask slipping". They're simply demolished: "This person obviously does not love me."
So they gather what strength they can, pack what they're able and leave. But the NPD wasn't done with them. Even when the NPD finds a new supply, the ASD was SPECIAL. Even when the NPD is unaware of what made that person special. They can't replace what they had, so they keep seeking this person out, if only to find their phone #, call periodically, hear the person say "Hello", and hang up on them. They'll even pay or coerce their new supply to check out the person with ASD, interact in some way or just unnerve them by parking outside of their new home repeatedly. Or they'll track them online for years and behave like trolls, humiliating them in Social Media. True story. All of it. And people with PTSD typically do not hang around to seek revenge. THAT doesn't make sense. 🐯
@@ML-qs3tf Ah, but they did. And the ASD survived. Don't know about the NPD. 🐯
@@ML-qs3tf Odd. I have met people on the spectrum who've been taught to be dishonest by a parent to whom they were strongly bonded. I'm sure the same could be done with other inherent traits. There are people with ASD and NPD. They're sometimes misdiagnosed (one mistaken for the other). This particular person was quite vulnerable when the NPD "arrived". Has quite high empathy, which the NPD exploited. Highly intelligent but strangely innocent. Not deceptive. Genuinely loyal, despite NPD's "affairs". A loner by nature. Confounded by the coldness, chaos, blaming, anger. Truly torn apart and yes, traumatized. But never seeking revenge. The old saying "You've met one person with Aspergers, you've met one person with Aspergers" really is true. Haven't encountered one quite like you've described. 🐯
@UCOFHx-TQXpbxxp-nA5cVnqQ Perfectly alright. Thank you for the explanation! ☺🌹🐯
My family and I are on the autistic spectrum and we have a child in a wheelchair with severe disabilities and this has been our exact experience with my mother who is the narcissist and who is very cruel, cold, hard and mean. I'm nearly 50 now and the things she has done has shocked and upset me so many times. I'm done I'm not talking to her ever again and that includes my children too.
Just when I thought you had described my 30 year marriage you'd move on to the next number. I think we ticked every box. The biggest problem is that the narccist can never see that they are narccistic. If you happen to catch their behavior on tape they will destroy the tape and say that you unfairly recorded them. This relationship has wiped me out. I just wish I had known that this type of person will never change. I moved out 4 years ago but for some reason have not divorced and while I have bouts of peace he is still controlling me. I wish i knew how to break completely free. I still feel guilty for leaving.
I have suffered this abuse for 21 years. It made me mentally and physically paralysed. Trying to recover now. Thanks for all the info & guidance. May God bless you.
Nine out of ten in the 35 year marriage, 40 year relationship! The sex part would have completed the list except that his health later in life prevented it. Finally I was shown the disorder I didn't know existed. Thanks to the support of my adult children and brother, I gathered the courage to walk away!
Congratulations! I hope that you are healing well from the experience.
💙Free at last, free at last, free at last!!! Congratulations! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
40 years!??
May I ask you what kept you so long in the marriage? Did you kind of felt needed. I came across some (older) couples where one part was strongly narc and those couples seemed strangely inseparable, like fused together.
@@juliuscee4633 I was the target of a predator. I was a 17 y.o immigrant of color. He was a 23 y.o white male. He played the hero protector very, very well. He also introduced me to the Christian religion and used it to claim his place as head of the family. His colors took many years to show. His ugliness revealed layer by layer. An abuser does not abuse 24/7. There were times of kindness, too. But they were less and less frequent to the point of non-existent in the later years. I decided to leave him at least ten years before I took action. I was biding my time waiting for our youngest child to be old enough such that the court would listen to her. I have the love and support of all four of our children now. They have written him out of their lives. Karma is real.
Thank you so much. I lived with someone who felt that he was royalty and his family and mine treated him that way because of his tech job and education. The fact is that he was a dictatorial tyrant and a complete idiot in the area of empathetic emotional awareness. Too bad for him: his opinion of himself is so wrong.
I really appreciate this explanation. It really helped me today. I left an abusive relationship several months ago and still struggle with self blame and guilt. Again, thank you so much.
Thank you for being really clear! Also for making the subject area more palatable.
Parallel communication in Big Lebowski and "STFU Donnie". Good examples.
I was abused this way for 26 years. At one point when he attempted suicide (after telling me it was all my fault) and failed I was extremely angry. When he succeeded in killing himself about a year ago I was relieved because I knew he wouldn't be able to control anyone anymore. My kids and I were badly scarred by him.
The cognitive part, that was me, I completely lost who I was.
Me too!!
Great information. Thank you for sharing. These types of relationships are so multi faceted and dimensional, very hard to explain or express.
I have watched a few videos on narcissism and this has got to be one of the most informative one I have ever seen.
I absolutely love this channel, and I am positive that Dr. Grande is helping a ton of people!!!!!!
Dr. Grande can you please do a video about narcissistic, abusive fathers and how their adult children may be affected?
I second that.... and pls include covert narc fathers and scapegoat/golden child dynamic
fascinating insights Dr Grande, this third person perspective is a valuable addition to understanding these types of relationships.
Thanks again for another brilliant one doc, wish i had these videos to guide me through my very turbulent teenage years. Your wisdom and compassion as a clinician on this platform has helped me find the voice of self-advocacy that i so desperately needed then.
Dr Grande, thanks for your video and sharing your thoughts. You are spot on.
It is a hellish nightmare living with them. Mine has been dead (very crude!) now for 5 years and it has been a terrible journey with remarkable healing.
Thank you so much.
Dr. Grande,
Again, your videos are so informative and I enjoy learning about these behaviors. Thank you again for your videos.
Your videos are seriously the best on the topic that I have seen and they explain so much. Thank you.
Absolutely, profoundly helpful, enlightening & accurate. Many thanks ❤️
Feeling validated for the first time in a long time. Thank you, Dr Grande.
Thank you, your videos are so revealing. I know I cannot diagnose my husband and neither can you but this has opened my eyes to the abuse and my reaction to it.
This analysis is excellent. I am pleased I found it in Dr. Grande’s past talks. I really relate to several of the 10characteristics. Thank you, Dr. Grande.
Your work is helping me so much, Dr Grande. Thank you for making these available
What I need in my life right now. Thanks Doc. 🙏
I was married for 35 years to a Grandiose narcissist. He loved and valued me quite highly as an object in the early years of our marriage. I mostly couldn't understand why he gave me the silent treatment over small things and could never hear me, talk things through or share emotionally. Over time I came to realise I was an object to provide sex, money and other benefits - such as taking care of all the housework etc so he could pursue his hobbies and work. Thank you for validating and confirming some things. We split up in 2015 and within 3 months he had targeted and begun dating new supply. He has been married to her for nearly three years already, whereas I am five years down the track and still single. I've had a few short term relationships, three turned out to be narcissists. The worst one was right after our marriage, the rebound they call it. I am sure he was at least a sociopath because he was colder than ice. He pretended every positive emotion, he could barely smile straight. With ordinary narcissists you do see the flicker of guilt or remorse here and there on their face. With this guy - NOTHING. He cheated on me, lied to me, used me, would have taken all my money if I hadn't been prudent, he stalked his ex, drank bottles of wine every day, faked cancer when I tried to break up with him OMG it's unbelievable. But anyway that was the catalyst for me - You Tube and ironically it was after watching Richard Grannon's "30 signs of a Covert Narcissist" that finally the penny dropped. From there I felt empowered and began to really watch for signs, because at first I was confused about his behaviour being tied up to his alcoholism.
Thank you for your valuable insights, Dr.
You are the absolute best on this topic 👉🏾
Wow ... I’m learning so much from you. I humble myself and thank you for sharing with us.
Dr. Grande, can you do a video about covert narcissistic abuse?
Thank you, and Happy Easter! 🐣
Excellent question. I also like the idea of doing a video about this topic!
Covert narcissism is another label for vulnerable narcissism.
ua-cam.com/video/E0e5kKdXl10/v-deo.html
I will put it on the production list - Happy Easter!
Yes please! Covert would be great!
Yes! Great topic. It can be so undetectable and insidious. I think people need to know what this is and what the signs are.
You described my relationship with my ex completely, so glad I seen the light.
Thank you for this video Dr. Grande. It's something that is currently happening with a family member by their spouse. I'm going to get her to watch this video. :)
Thank you so much, again. I've been well aware of the two narc situations in my life for 9 years now and I have never heard someone explain it like this. There are attributes of my previous relationship I have explained to people, thinking I'm "all schooled up on narcissists," since I did so much research after finding out what that is. However, some things have still baffled me, especially the intellectual aspect you explained, and another couple things you discussed in your video. This was so helpful.
This video is great! I feel like I’m going through this. You mentioned the criteria and I thought to myself, “wow, I’m a narcissist “. But then as you expanded it made more sense. Well said, thank you.
Thank you for this video doctor. I think all of your signs are very accurate. On number nine, not only did the former narcissist provide me with a list of things to improve while he was out having an affair, when I met those goals, he move the goalposts!
I have already made the decision that it was necessary to no longer be the victim in my own life. I cut off all contact. I recovered with help and learning. Healing for me went through learning and understanding of narcissistic personality disorder. Your videos, on complex topics like the NDP, are so well explained. Always a remarkable research work! I really appreciate.
The Chris Watt case I cant sleep this case is making me uneasy and so sad
Loving these older videos Dr. G! They are very informative and done with compassion. This one made me sad as I have a friend whose relationship ticks every item on this list. I’m reminded of a very sad song called The Ballad of Jenny Ledge, about a woman who no longer cares about living a good life.
I really like how he mentioned and described how the victim would feel and respond to the actins of the narcissist.
Dr.Grande, you are amazing. Great content and explanation.
Just wanted to say that I'm really enjoying your videos. Human beings and their personalities are just so interesting and you explain things in a very professional, yet understandable way. Thank you for the time you put in on these.
You're welcome :)
So informative. My X husband has all of the nine traits plus habitual lying without any conscious awareness or care that he may be caught out. The Victim information is so reassuring too. Thank you 🙏
thank you! very insightful!
Thank you Dr. Grande your work provides a general pallete for understanding and healing from what I know I went through. Every case lines up differently but they seem to have some common characteristics. I experience(d) much of what you describe. I want to send it to her but for what? To break a "no contact" pledge to myself? I will take this and use it for my own much needed repair from whatever kind of abuse it was..I call it cluster "b" abuse...I am not saying all cluster "b" diagnosed people abuse but that one sure did...it has been 6mths and 4 days. I am reading Tara Brach's Radical Acceptance and Pete Walker's "'C-PTSD" and am finding it is I who need to heal the broken down "inner one" and continually remind myself I am worthy and especially that I can do this and I will be much more informed and even more available in terms of being in a healthy relationship.
This sounds like a lot of people online. Thanks, Dr. Grande. 👍🌹
This was really interesting! Would love to hear signs of narcissistic abuse in a family dynamic!
Thank you so much for your videos! I can relate to every one of these signs. I experienced parallel communication today (not the first time with this person). It is incredibly frustrating.
This is describing the marriage I left. I’m learning as much as possible to heal and try to help my girls as they’re still away from this control. Thank you for this teaching.
Thank you for making this video.
Thank you Dr Grande for a very interesting video . 🌼
Highly informative video. I'd love to see the same analysis except with a passive narcissist. You rock Dr. Grande!
Thinking my husband is vulnerable narcissist and then I listened to this video. It made me cry and not want to finish listening. Everything was exactly what has been happening. Very helpful.
Great video, and thank you for this. A sign I've noticed is when a person who was initially a good step parent to the narcissist's children from a previous relationship starts to become abusive to the child that the narcissist treats as a scapegoat. And I've witnessed the immaturity factor on both sides for this as well. The scapegoat child from a previous marriage is labeled a problem kid by the narcissist. Therefore, the non-narcissist spouse will find comfort in the fact that they're not the only "screw up" in the narcissist's family. They can fall into the role of an abusive step parent because they are having a hard time dealing with what their narcissist spouse is making them believe are failures within themselves. The narc displaced all their insecurities and anger on the scapegoat, and so the step parent places all of their "failures" as a spouse on the scapegoat. I'm witnessing this happen to a sweet eight year old boy who is having a hard time in school and with making friends due to the anxiety and self-hatred his parent and step parent are causing him to develop. I hate that there is no way to get him out of that abusive household. (Also, I think in this case the victim spouse most likely has some strong narcissistic traits as well for this to happen, even if it's not the point to a diagnosable personality disorder)
Wow interesting but sad for a child so young. My sister snd I were victims of a narcissist step parent as teens/young adults (in my opinion). Our father has essentially cut us out for her. I guess we are better off to not be surrounded by that on a daily basis but is unfortunate to lose our family. Maybe it’s not fair for me to ‘diagnose’ someone but sounds awfully familiar.....:(
You nailed it Dr Grande!!
Awesome analysis doc! Thank you 🙏
My ex and her mother were very narcissistic. I wouldn’t describe her behavior as abusive, but she was often impossible to deal with. I’m pretty resilient, so I was always just calling her bluff. She sent me emails about meeting demands to change, such as her displeasure with me making a lot less money while in college. Once I was making money and buying her things she was happy, albeit short-lived. She was very critical of everyone, extremely concerned about appearances, paranoid, judgmental, and believed she was better and deserved more pay, despite never attending college. Spent every red cent on high end products, then expected me to foot the bill for necessities, like food. She wasn’t particularly angry or anything, just believed she was superior to others. Arguing with her was a battle of wits and I usually just said “I don’t care, I seriously don’t care”. Letting her think I was empty and not emotionally invested was the only way to get ahead. Ridiculous relationship that lasted way too long.
Thank you Dr Grande for an in depth perspective. Dealing with a narcissist can rip and tear at a person, piece by piece, day after day, and become incredibly traumatic, if a victim is not aware of the characteristic traits of what constitutes narcissism. That is what make your work so unbelievably important. In the graph of narcissism, there are no troughs, just ever increasing peaks that correlate with population growth. In general, I think people should access another individual based on 3 principle factors. 1) Can they look at themselves obectively. 2) Are they empathic? 3) Do they have the ability to tolerate and do they retain perseverance. These are characteristic traits of a functional prefrontal cortex, and in my view, a narcissist lacks functionality in the prefrontal cortex. Thanks again Dr. Grande.
Thank God my case is not so extreme.
Just the emotional and intellectual deprivement is hard to handle when you also have a chronic health condition.
Maybe starting a UA-cam channel is a good idea, to stay connected to people and have more interactions.
Thank you Dr. Grande for finding interesting topics to initiate dialogue!
I've been watching these videos trying to come to terms with my own experiences of abuse, and although I can't definitively diagnose the situation as grandiose narcissistic abuse, there were a lot of points here that lined up. Not all of them, but enough of them were so spot on it brought me to tears. It's been nearly 2 years, and I still struggle to process things. I think I just want to understand now.
Articulate,True Ace !
Frighteningly direct, unbelievably real !
Dr.Grande I love your videos.Psychology and criminology are the best.♥️👍💎
1. The relationship appears strangled. Freedom and movement is prevented.
2. Immaturity in both parties of the relationship.
3. No forgiveness. Hostility.
4. No growth in the relationship over time.
5. Basic needs in the relationship like food etc. are met, but more complex needs aren't.
6. Sexual narcissism. Victim submits sexually. Abuser becomes more dominant. No emotional connection.
7. Being intellectually starved. Parallel communication.
8. Emotional signs: Victim starts feeling worthless, depressed, fatalistic. Being tired of fighting. Self hatred.
9. Victim starts to feel as if they are the problem. Narcissist writes out a list of things the victim needs to change.
10. Cognitive elements: Victim has non-productive, destructive thoughts.
You never cease to amaze me. You explained my one of my brothers. Our mother robbed a bank with some men when we were little and she never came back so my Daddy raised us. When our mother left my brother was only 9 Mos old and I always thought that had a great effect on him and now I know it did. Wow, thanks so much for taking the time to care about everyone! God bless you always! 🙏
I’m doing a video about this topic soon,and I learnt a lot from you🙏🏽
Good stuff, Dr. Grande.
So in-depth,great understanding
Hey Dr Grande, you once did a video on psychopathy and its relation to heroism and law enforcement, could you also explain the relationship between dark triad traits and heroism?
They don't feel fear like empaths do. It's that simple.
I love your channel so much!
Thank you.
You are most welcome :)
Love your videos as usual Grande. Would you consider doing a video on the psychology of the "true believer" or dangerous fanaticism?
This video was interesting! Very well explained!
Dr. Grande- thank you for this video. You described a lot of my last relationship. I recently ended it and this was wonderful validation. I watch this video when I feel sad and miss the good sides of him. This helps me realize there is another side to him too…and if I were to go back, I would get both.
as in every relationship
Thank you I understand more of this type disorder.
I just have been reading your description below the video Dr. Grande. It's very good to read about what vulnerable narcissism actually can be all about.
I didn't know that the vulnerable narcissist also can have a sense of entitlement and a need for admiration. You wouldn't expect that from someone who is also shy.
This explains better to me why vulnerable narcissism is very hard to be expect being comorbid with AvPD.
Good to know that overt and covert both are low on agreeablenes. I know overt is low on neuroticism and covert high.
How does the vulnerable narcissist scores on conscientiousness on the five-factor model?
Is vulnerable narcissism more about internalized anger or is the anger also, like with the overt narcissist, externalized?
Thank you doc 😃.
Thank you Dr.Grande, another insightful video.
Can someone be just emotionally immature but not narsissistic?
I'd love to hear from you what are the signs of narcissistic abuse in a adult child of a narcissist. Love your channel!!
Spot on!
Thank you for sharing
this with us ✌️😐
What would be a solution?
ie: mindset etc
That a person should have
Thank you, Dr. Grande.
Wow! This answered many questions for me.
Good vid.Thanks doc! I wish you're willing to do once a video about (im)maturity and personality disorders in general.
I believe that topic is on my production list - immaturity isn't studied often, but I will do my best to record a video on it.
@@DrGrande Thank you Dr. Grande, that would be great if you succeed in doing a video about immaturity and PD's.
@@RN-gx7wt I know, but I think maturity is more than 'only responsibility' and I'm wondering if AvPD has actually anything to do with being immature?
@@RN-gx7wt Good points! Well let's see what Dr. Grande has to say about it when he's doing a video.
Thank you Dr.Todd Grande
Dr Grande, could you please talk about the grandiose narcissist obsessional addiction to pornography, this component is a constant in my marriage and is hard for me to deal with.
I love your videos and appreciate your professional help to the lost souls drowning in the narcissist mired mindset. Thank you 😊
ikr!!
Dr Grand , I find all of your videos facinateing . You make very good points and you really break things down in a way that makes so much since and easy to understand. I am curious to know if instead of trying to have a civil one on one conversation with a narcissis about something they did that effected you in a negative , hurtful way only to end up in an unproductive , unresolved long drawn out confusing🙆💆🤷🤦🌡️ talk with them . Would it be a better idea not to talk about your grivences but in stead write down what you want to say to them on paper✍️and have them do the same with a reply back so the original point you are trying to make to them can't be taken out of context by them, with their diverting untill the original meaning louses it's meaning . I guess what I'm asking is would it help to have a more positive ,productive conversation for both parties . Thank you .🙋
Hi Dr. Grande! Could you possibly do a video on hypochondria? It’s a topic I find fascinating. Thanks for your time! Love your channel
Thank you for expanding on this. It’s important that you included the presence of both grandiose and vulnerable traits, that’s a concept that I don’t feel many people can grasp. I also appreciate that you mentioned the level of immaturity that can occur on both sides and that the narcissist can be mistreated as well. Their gullibility combined with the irritation they bring out in others makes them targets of abuse as well.
How do you heal from narcissistic abuse? I was involved in a relationship of this kind over 8 years ago and I'm still to this day troubled by its after effects. I realize it and I hate it, but I can't seem to rid myself of the damage done.
Girl, same! I play it out over and over in my head thinking what I could’ve done differently, but find myself (in the end) blaming myself for thinking anything remotely “bad” about him and begin to believe I’m the bad person in some way...meanwhile, he’s calm, cool, collected, loving himself...it’s HARD 💯
@@monicagoldsborough1077 just think of your relationship from an out-er pov, he has no right to be rude and gaslighting me for no reason, I caused nothing for this, nor am i responsible for this 23 year old mans behavior, he’s been through live, he should’ve known how to not be a jerk. You can’t change those kind of people, I know it’s impossible to stop thinking about your past mistakes, like “what if this one memory I had of a decision that probably was the reason he was so mean, I’m the cause..” you’re not.
If you’re the one in the relationship that is questioning whether or not you’re the problem, you’re not. Because you can comprehend being truthful to yourself about past scenarios, remembering every word they said in that moment. Fighting with yourself every night.
very good people tend to become lost of themselves because of trauma like this. But you have to realize that you’re right
@@monicagoldsborough1077 I know this is hard and am sorry that you went through this . I think I can give you a word or two which worked for me you can try also if you want
It wasn’t your fault it was his fault, there is nothing you could have done differently, you gave it your best, some narcissistic are calm and collected so don’t personalize it. Remember they use people for their own benefits, they see people as objects to give them more supply and it’s never enough for them so don’t blame yourself.
Build other relationships with friends and family
Do things you love that they always criticized you about
Find a hobby and give it your best
Meditation
Practice mindfulness
Make a list of all those hurtful things they did to you, every time you have thought of the good few things they did, your can write the list slowly by slowly.
Therapy if you can with a therapist who understands narcissism
Change of sight if you can, it can be as little as moving to another bedroom
Hope you get better, it’s gradual one day at a time
Good luck
I believe I have PTSD as a result of my 15 years of narcissistic abuse. I’ve been free for 7 years but I still have nightmares about him several times a week and I still strictly avoid anything having to do with him.
Check out Dr Ramani's channel, she has a healing program. You will love it, I promise. 💜
Dr Grande, would you be able to do a video on dealing with a grandiose narcissistic aging parent. So much devastation occurs and it can tear a family apart. Thank you. This was very helpful. I love your videos
cheapest retirement home you can find - thats what I'll be doing with mine (both parents)
Thank you for this insight. I feel like I am currently in a relationship where narcissism is prevalent. I hadn't really noticed until we moved his very blatant grandiose parents in with us. Now I'm starting to see some of the things he does to me that I put up with.
I have a story of an encounter with a grandiose narcissist's abuse towards me recently in my workplace. It was my partner and coworker who totally crossed the line and made me fear.