What are the thoughts of a Narcissist? | Grandiose vs. Vulnerable
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- Опубліковано 23 лип 2019
- This video answers the questions: What are the thoughts of the narcissist? How are they different from non-narcissists? Are the thoughts different between grandiose and vulnerable narcissism?
Narcissism:
There are two types of narcissism: With grandiose narcissism we see characteristics like being extroverted, socially bold, self-confident, having a superficial charm, being resistant to criticism, and being callous and unemotional. Vulnerable narcissism is characterized by shame, anger, aggression, hypersensitivity, a tendency to be introverted, defensive, avoidant, anxious, depressed, socially awkward, and shy.
How does a narcissist change a lightbulb 💡 ?
He stands on a chair, holding the 💡 and waits 4 the world 🌎 2 revolve around him
Angela Watson. That's good.
Angela Watson lol!
Hahaha 😁😁
😂🤣👍
I have the coffee mug! Bought it off Amazon
*sees new video notification*
*Sees the title has narcissist in it*
*Immediately watches it*
I agree.. And channels that run me in circles of Wonders and Whys I unsubscribe from shortly... I'm only interested in understanding my own self inward reflections, proactive preventions of repeating and defensive applications for future self growth. Be open to admittance. People will call the narcissist crazy, but yet they wanna understand that very mind of crazy....🤷🏻who then is truly crazy? If a victim is doing that, then honestly the narcissist is only one of their many problems. U must dig deeper.
Slappyforever66 -I’m always scared to watch incase I identify with anything he says 🙀.
@@norma3067 😆
@@norma3067 wowie. Also I really identify with the traits for NPD so I'm just intrigued to learn about myself more
By the way Dr.Grande, thanks for hearting my comment!
Dr. Grande, I can't thank you enough for your content. You are saving lives. God bless you.
Agree.He is so helpful.Thank you Dr.Grande.
Hrs a great teacher. Lives are saved by people working hard. He’s not a pill
In Jesus name Amen. I agree.
@@iamasoldierofgodkingofking1244 Jesus Christ! A bit over the top.
@@rebirthofthecool5619 haha
Vulnerable narcissists fear loss and because of that often generate it and limp away wounded spitting venom at those who betrayed them, thinking 'one I'll show them!'
Oh yes!
I agree
Just as a result of your point NOW i understand why my mother bursted out in huge rage, throwing things at me (files, a cooking pot, bringing open my bedroom's clases door by kicking and pushing it) and the next day when I left she said ' are you realmente thinking of leaving me to die (maybe Covid 19)? " you won't be able to survive without me! (money wise)" it's pretty scary for them, then
Reminds me of a friends ex gf
I really don't think you can compare them to toddlers. I have a three year old and he is kind and truly attached to others. Most toddlers like people, trust people, have a sense of "nice" and "not nice. " Maybe more like an insecure middle schooler. Toddlers are really awesome little people.
Toddlers are also emotionally unstable and have very little self-awareness
The one I know only thinks about herself. She either doesn't know or doesn't care about the damage she does and harm she causes to anybody else.
Basically it's a toddler's mind in an adults body
Yeah, it's as hard to believe they don't know as it is that they don't care. Either the most oblivious, self involved person or the most cold hearted.
@ Captain Obvious .. They are either so self involved that they are oblivious to anyone else's feelings or they are that cold hearted! Hard to believe either way.
They do know. But they don't know. It's complicated.
A fish doesn't know what wet feels like. Or that they are in water.
Bryan M ..that is complicated because all I can think of is I'm human and know I breath oxygen and that all humans should be treated with dignity and respect.
Yep.
WOW!!! I just recently learned about the whole narcissism topic in the past couple of months after living with my SEVERELY Narcissistic wife for the past 25 years. Always thought it was just me causing our issues until my divorce attorney turned me on to some interesting videos about this disorder. We are now smack dab in the middle of a wicked divorce. Watching this particular video has taught me the different types and levels of this disorder and I now understand she is considered a Vulnerable Narc based on her typical M/O. Great video!!
It's been three years, How are you holding up man?
they are consciences
born from abuse. Their thoughts are subject to a defense system obsolete for adulthood but impossible to shut down. 😯
Dave Jones Very interesting idea... I often wonder how NPD develops, and why.
Dave Jones,
That has been my experience. Each one of my failed relationships had that one common thread. There was childhood trauma of mental/emotional abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse...that carries over into adulthood with the narcissitic traits as a survival mechanicism.
@@brittaolson6550 I was abused and bullied by a narcissistic friend. She often mentioned her mother's terrible treatment of her to gain sympathy points and excuse her bad moods where she'd punish me out of nowhere. In hindsight, I realised she treated me much the same way her mother treats her. I can't tell if she ever noticed the parallels herself. She's so toxic I'll never talk to her again, but sometimes I still feel sorry for her.
@@inkypunk same here. My narc friend was abused by the mother the same covert way he did to me.
@@brittaolson6550 the commenter is right, my narc father was abused by his mother
“You’ll never find someone like me again” does this sounds common? I heard it over and over again
My ex who was a covert narc would say..i am the best person you will ever find. seemingly in a joking way...but probably they believed it...
More like: you’ve got a 1% chance of finding another as abusive and mentally ill as me.
That was the whole point LOL. Except narc's are common
Usually they say this when i said i dont want to be part of their lil game My ex.. also my recent almost bf.. so does my toxic manager n colleagues when i wanna resign.. they made it as if I'm letting go a job that pays me millions while we all know it's not, it's just they felt their pride (the toxic workplace) was shaken cuz i rejected them n their crazy toxic and harrowing culture. 🤣
I find the covert very interesting because you dont hear as much about it. They can be very sneaky.
MeMe Mo my son-in law
Oh yeah, the whole believing their own lies thing? I tell myself I do things for benign reasons so I can explain myself later, but really I'm doing them for totally selfish reasons. By way of postmodern semantics, my internal dialogue for rationalizing is replaced through repetition, so the lie has taken hold and becomes the new narrative. Hell, I've convinced myself of these things enough that I don't know if I'm doing them for myself or wasting my valuable time helping people who can really go eff themselves. It's confusing.
Be real with yourselves, folks.
Just some ideas for future videos:
- vulnerable/grandiose narcissist and their love for animals, family members, friends and romantic interest
- vulnerable and grandiose romantic relationship
second and third this. Add SPIRITUAL NARCISSIT as well
S. W. He already did a video about the romantic relationship.
hacks cannusually be very helpful! the idea of animal love is very handy. never trust people that have problems with animals.
@@oooodaxteroooo My narcissist who displays all the classic signs of npd told me early on that her mother told her that she liked animals more than people. I thought how nice and it turned out to be a grave mistake. She does hate people
Here's my take on the first one:
Animals: I treat them better; gratuitous terms of endearment galore.
People: I look down on them, but ultimately try to maintain an appearance of respect so I don't catch hell.
Family: No ties here. They're just people to me. I suppose the difference is I know them better?
From your descriptions, my Mother was a perfect 50/50 split between grandiose and vulnerable. She was a victim of everything and everyone and was always making some plan in the dark to get an advantage or get back somehow at someone. Gossip was one of her favorite activities to keep everyone's perceptions of the world in-line with what she wanted. But then she would also burst into fits of extroverted rage and overt public displays of shaming and drama-creation. She gravitated towards theater younger in life as a means of expressing her narcissism, so I feel like she's developed compound narcissistic traits as a result. First, because of the treatment of my grandiose narcissistic Grandmother and other abusive family members, she became a vulnerable narcissist. Then, she discovered theater and realized the potential for recognition in addition to the ability to practice social manipulation and ended up developing grandiose features as a result. This is of course, pure speculation, but it's only because I have yet to hear you mention any kind of hybridization between the two types. (Though I haven't watched all your videos yet.) But so far, in each video I've seen where you've mentioned these two types of narcissistic expression, I've directly identified my mother in both descriptions. She fulfills roughly 70-80% of both types; so she's not 100% of either, but simultaneously a significant amount of both.
I don't think it's binary either. I can see both in myself.
Sounds like my sister.
I married my ex two times he was grandiose. Each time I left he would wait one year to ask for me back hoping the entire year brought me misery. The last time I left I predicted the one year but this time I was getting married and I told him how happy I was . I think he believed he could do that for a lifetime because no one else would treat me better since I was inferior to him, according to him.
They stay around observing you even If you break up with them
Narcissists are like quantum particles. Quantum particles don't exist until they are measured. Narcissists don't exist unless they are socially recognized. An odd example of the "observer effect" of quantum mechanics.
Just a wild thought!
DR. GRANDE BLOWIN UP THE SPOT SPITTIN KNOWLEDGE LIKE STR8 FIRE
WORD!
VANILLA GRANDE SO SMOOTH 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Question: Have you seen a narcissist vacillate back and forth from Grandiose to Vulnerable? This was my experience.
Please make a video on this if possible Dr. Todd
Yes they do, i did see this also.
Dr. Grande confirms this in other video's.
I've seen this many times. The narcissist would be in grandiose mode when she was getting supply; positive or negative: didn't matter.
She would go into vulnerable mode when she had been denied supply too long (no attention, fighting, arguments or attempts to persuade).
@@loulou5331 You have my sympathy. I can't imagine growing up like that.
I was just going to ask the exact same question!! My mother was diagnosed with NPD, BPD & Munchausen's by Proxy when I was 13 & I can actually HEAR her talking in this video on the Grandiose side. However, she would often sulk & be very vindictive, which is why I was interested in his take on this. I suppose it is a question of reward/supply, well this was my own experience with my mother. She was at her most dangerous (to me) when she was unhappy about being overlooked. It's quite a tangled web of inter-related conditions, isn't it?!!
I had a narcissistic parent so this is quite a poignant topic for me, it really helps hearing a professional point of view, thanks Dr. Grande.
Same. I have a vulnerable narc mom who oscillates at times. But interesting to see how she related to others in her life. She is very socially akward, cant keep a job, paranoid, anxious but manipulative and passive aggressive
a very underrated channel on youtube .. thanks for you work Dr. Grande! ..
I really believe that calling them be vulnerable narcissist is a misnomer...... Because we are all as human beings vulnerable
... . This sounds almost like giving them an excuse. They are covert but, they are very very manipulative in their covertness......
So that's what a covert thinks. Watching sneaky reactions to some of these things, you have to be spot on! Thanks for the explanation. It really helps so much to have things clarified. Especially with a covert, they try to hide everything about them.
Yeah... that they call hypocriticall... indeed sad but also very mean and makes them the terrible person they want to believe they are... so if they wanna believe it and act on it better I gonna believe it before i walk into another one of this kind.
Yes, there is no winning with a vulnerable narcisist. What stops me from feeling sorry for them is, we have all been through our own things. I choose not to use others to take my pain out on. People pleasers are their target to create the most painful experience of all and leave a trail of destruction behind them. Funny, my ex treated me best in front of my adult sons. That tells me it was a choice. The neighbors think he's the best thing since sliced bread and hid his rude distaine from them. Showing again, a choice.
@@debsabatino311 I agree... Covert Narcissists knowingly manipulate others. That part they are very much aware of. They use illness, age, disability, gender, or pretend to be helpless and unknowing and unable etc... to spark the sympathy and pity factor in others to get their work done. My mother has said it to me openly, oh you should have let me speak to that person, I would have made him do the work out of sympathy and pity for an old lady. And yes they know when to hide their harsh words. But not all of them, depends on their level and with age they become frustrated and erratic with their masks and also when feeling threatened they can forget to put on the mask. And yes everyone has been through their share of ups and downs but vulnerable narcs will make it a competition to show their life or situation is the most miserable, even when it's actually pretty good. And they will do this in front of others to shame and cast doubts on their family members and spouse etc who are responsible for the living conditions etc. It's horrible.
@No Tea Zone my mother a VN has never congratulated me for any of my successful endeavours in life, my being her daughter... But she's criticised me endlessly. I don't care how much low self esteem and how difficult their past might have been, if you're a parent, you've chosen to bring a child into the world, you need to be able to be there for them and love and support them. That way it's sad even for the grandoise narcs. They are surely disordered people and their internal world is dark and miserable but that's no excuse for the games they play and revenge they take and the love they're unable to give and the CRAP (criticism, rejection, abandonment and punishment) they give. Even if we feel very sorry for them we can't kill ourselves to please them.
@No Tea Zone Tolerating is not adaptive behavior
i was in a relationship with a grandiose narcissist that lasted 4 1/2 years. even though it's been over for more than a year and a half, i'm still haunted every day by the damage caused. to be honest, while i truly appreciate these videos, they are very hard for me to watch :(
Good luck to you on your healing journey
It gets easier. Keep at it!
Melissa Piterson thank you :)
Kara Graham thank you :)
John smith Abuse takes time to heal. 4 and half years is a long time. The main thing is you’re out of that abusive relationship:)
Thank you for another great upload. I got the impression that people just try to cope with life the best they can..
i work with people.. i'm a sales assistant.. while watching i realized that at least 50% of the customers i get in contact with at work show some visible narcissistic traits.. (disrespecting the merchandise, demanding attention and disrespecting other customers, low agreeability - sometimes you just cant talk sensibly to them, many times they just ask for help but dont actually listen, or they pick up the phone and disconnect from you, throw money at the cash desk as in disgust, feel entitled to get what they want even when what they want is impossible to deliver, blame you for the stuff you dont control, criticise and belittle.. etc)
I believe that if i met them outside of customer-worker dynamic i bet they would not be acting the same way.. i hope..
This lack of respect for each other and not seeing a human fellow being in another is what allows this bad behaviours to develop into personalities.. the way i see it..
Not all of the customers are like that. The other half is a great bunch. They give me reasons to like what i do..
It's just interesting that people change when they change roles..
Please make more videos on covert narcissism.
Yes please
Great video dr. Grande! I have examples of both type of narcs in my life so I am happy to hear your perfect analysis.
I think that this is one of your best videos. Having had the misfortune to have dated both a grandiose and a vulnerable Narcassis, I found your analysis to be 'spot on'. I could actually hear them saying almost the exact words and picture many examples of specific situations that occurred.
Now I need to get these pictures out of my head before I start getting flashbacks!
I think your comparison of the thinking of the two is pretty much spot on . Most of my life's personal experience is with the covert narcissist having had one for a mother and then marrying one . Grandiose narcissists are blowing in the breeze for all to see - they can't seem to help running their mouths . Sneaky , underhanded, fixated on revenge coverts want you to suffer while playing everyone else for a fool in believing how wonderful , altruistic and innocent they are . I've come to think that playing people for fools is their main source of supply .
Thanks for another insightful video! You are very accurate its scary. I've actually done the anonymous revenge thing you described for vulnerable narcissists. I know it's petty but in those moments I truly felt that if I did nothing it would keep eating away at my self-esteem and in a strange way revenge offers closure.
Clicked for the shirt;)
The minds of those people explain, clear, as crystal, why the world is the way it is. Very sad. So much pain could be avoided and it "would be a stronger, loving world". But such is life. Let's meditate z recover and make the best out of it, cause life is also beautiful. God bless all the targets of psychopaths and cluster Bs in their journey to surviving healing and thriving.🙏🙌💕
Breaking it down! I love the way you explain those differences! You're a great teacher!
I see both grandiose and covert in my husband, though. All depends what the situation is, I guess. I wish I knew where he is, on the spectrum. He told me once that he was a Sociopath, when I called him a Psychopath, one day. Sometimes, he can be impulsive, but generally speaking, he tends to plan things out. Everything must go to plan, and when it doesn't, he throws a fit, and isn't very easy to be around. These fits consist of screaming at me, or others, absolutely no patience, blaming me, or others. So, to me, he doesn't sound as much like a Sociopath, as he does a Narcissist.
This is just one area of his persona, that I have described for you. There are more aspects to his character that are scary, in many ways.
Girl, why aren't you running!? That's the question. 🤔😣
@@twylerisirked Oh, I ran. Have been separated since last March. But my curiosity begs to know the answers to all of the whys.
Thank you so very much one more time, Dr Grande! Brilliant as usual 👊🍀🙌💕😎
Singing "Scuse Me," by Lizzo while I watch this.
Great vid, Dr. Grande
I've been watching videos about narcissism for about 4 months and this was the most helpful in understanding them... bless you!
This is incredible. I am so impressed at your ability to create clarity and structure for a situation that is fraught with confusion and chaos.
Looking good Dr. Grande. I like that shirt. Can you do a video on your take on Maladaptive Daydreaming? Yes, the vulnurable narc is very sneaky. I've said it before and I'll say it again. When it comes to vulnurable Narcassist, the villain plays the victim so well. My vulnurable Narcassist sister changes partners like most of change our socks. I think narcs also go from one relationship to another because they're so easily bored.
Wandering Free also they’re terrified losing their primary supply so have back up supply always on standby. Was probably also cheating with backup supply. I’ve also heard it said that narcissists know in their heart that every relationship they start, has a used by date.
Wow that's so accurate! Great video.
That was exactly what my vulnerable narcissistic ex told me when I break up with her. She said I don't treasure her. And yes, she made me suffer even more after the break up because she wanted me to go through her pain billions times more.
No wonder people feel not good enough around them.
They are actually perceived that way.
Very delicate description , Dr. Grande.
Thank you!
You give the best examples to help us understand your topics. Thank you, Dr. Grande.
Thanks Dr Grande! Always spot on. Without admiration; a fish out of water.
I hope you do soon again such a topic with some more examples, if possible.
Thanks for another educational video
Dr. Grande 😃.
as a psychologist from Iran I admire your novel contribution to the world of psychology. you are a genius
I think it’s important to mention that that all narcissists exist somewhere on a continuum between these two types, as well as the extremes. I think you have also mentioned that some narcissists can oscillate between one type and the other depending on the situation and their mood. My ex used to present as pretty grandiose most of the time, but he would descend into darker periods where he would be terribly sensitive to criticism. He would even get upset if I said something about his dog, he would take everything very personally, as if all his objects, his stuff were part of him. I could not dislike a piece of furniture or a picture in his house, everything was part of this elaborate false identity, as if a single failure to prop all this stuff up would bring the elaborate house of cards tumbling. Thank you Dr Grande
Wow another great video and so right on. Format is awesome - clear and easy to grasp! Thank you this is very helpful!!!!
“Beliefs and stimuli combine and this creates an automatic thought”
I think that you “ hit the nail on the head “ with the thoughts and the differential of the narcissistic personality thoughts.
What a nice surprise to come home to: another video of yours, Todd :)
Thank you for your wisdom and your persistence in teaching what you have learned over the years!
Symptoms/Traits of the persons with CPTSD(due to Narc abuse) seem very similar to Vulnerable Narcissism. I'm confused! TYSM!
Thanks for another informative video Dr. Grande that provides level graded insight into NPD.
Narcissistic Abuse Rehab
Yes, Dr. Grande does amazing work to help our community. As does you.
Rene P thank you so much 🙏❤️💪
I would love to hear more!! Especially what abusive narcissists think.
Thank you Doctor Grande. You have been an immense source of comfort for me, while dealing with narcissist in my life."
You truly have a talent for this stuff doc. Have I ever told you that? This is so fascinating
Thank you for such an insightful way of describing the difference between the two types.
Wow, sometimes it felt like you were describing my deepest inner thoughts.
Love the examples , makes it is to figure them out.
Thanks for an interesting video Dr Grande! My 2nd time back to this one! Patterns are key!!
Brilliant! Thank You Doctor!
You have absolutely helped me...
Thank you so much, sir.
🖤
Dr. Grande thank you for all these amazing videos. Could you please please please make a video about thoughts of a triggered borderline and the aftermath thoughts after an episode. Hearts
Absolutely fascinating, I can certainly put a good few people I know into either of these catagories. Thanks Dr Grande
Sounds Good!
Pretty solid information shared Dr. Grande. Really glad I found your channel. I almost feel as if I need to open my wallet and pay for one therapist visitation.
I feel the same way, therefore I don't use ad block to be sure the Dr. gets paid by UA-cam.
Kay Hoover
How do I know if I have ad block activated? I do receive ads prior to every video play.
@@renep7008 If you see the ads, you are not blocking ads. Ad Block is activated by going through Google, or UA-cam premium blocks ads. Just be sure not to "skip" the ads. I skip them to watch through the video uninterrupted, and then I keep refreshing afterwards until the ads show at the beginning, and I just let the video play again, muted, while I do something else.
@@loulou5331 If you see ads, you are not blocking ads. If you don't see ads, you can check your Android settings. (I only watch on my laptop, so my advice for Androids is just a guess.) You can disable the blocked ads by just clicking on the blocked Ad icon and choosing, "don't run on this page." Some content creators whom I am friends with have told me that unless the ads are completely viewed, no payment. UA-cam is stingy....
@@loulou5331 You are most welcome, Lou Lou. I feel your good heart.💖
Indeed, Dr. Grande is so deserving of his success and the compensation that should come his way.
Great explanation! I can relate.
Awesome video Dr. Grande! I would love to hear your clinical insight about narcissist/narcissist relationships-how likely is it that you see both vulnerable and grandiose types in a relationship together?
Hey Dr. Grande! I had 2 interesting thoughts when watching your video. The first is a sports analogy for the two narcissists. Let's take basketball. Both types of narcissists are not team players. The overt will never pass the ball. He will take all of the shots himself, then blame everyone else when he misses. The covert will hog the ball, take too long to shoot, then wonder why his team didn't support him. Is that about right? I've seen the first behaviour in business from someone close to me. He took uncalculated risks, didn't want to build a team, and blamed the world when his business failed.
The second is regarding the Chris Watts case. You said in a previous video that you are unsure if he fits the covert narcissist type. After watching this video, what you are describing seems to fit that case very well, especially when you mentioned that coverts are more sneaky and revenge focused. Wouldn't it make sense that he blamed Shannan for keeping him from what he deserved, which is to be admired by someone "better", having a beautiful life without the stress of children, finances and camera in his face, etc.? Wouldn't he have seen her as the cause of his misery and an obstacle to getting what he deserves (in his mind life with Nichol)? It would make sense that he would want to execute a deep revenge on her and those she loved most, to demonstrate his victory so to speak? I think that he enjoyed planning the murder indicated by the "Battery" song and the doll. As you mentioned, he is quite immature, so in his childish mind, NK was the final chapter and his "happily ever after" after a life of misery with his family. Do you think his actions indicate that he was just "trying to get what's his"?
Helps so much for those of us discovering their narcissistic family member's traits and doing the deep dive in order to understand and try to untangle the emotional fallout from their destructive influence. Having said that - I must listen another time - sometimes it is too difficult to really see the machinations that one has suffered through a lifetime.
I watched this back to back with the Dr’s videos on forgiveness and criticisms of “The UA-cam narcissism videos.” (I don’t know what to call those. Movement? Industry?) I have been staying very angry at the narcissists in my life and while this has defended me, I am starting to realize that I am emotionally stuck or stagnant. Perhaps exploring a bit of DISTANCED empathy for my little narcs can help me better understand my contributions to those relationships. I would really like to move on! Lol! As always, wonderful content, doc!
Hey guy, thanks for the great content! keep it coming
Thank you Doctor. This morning is the first time I came across you I had a problem child that was angry at age 3. I spent 10 years with doctors looking for a answer as to what was wrong with my child, and many many thousands of dollars trying to help her. All to no avail. She was and will die, being angry at me. She is with out a doubt a Grandiose Narcissist and listening to this, she also has some of the Vulnerable also. In this tape when you were explaining when the Grandiose one meets someone they are interested in, you hit her , perfectly. You hit the nail on the head . She thinks she is a big box of chocolates plus more. One problem, all though she was very very attractive, and many men asked her out, they don't call for a second date, because I am sure on the first date she spent the evening telling the guy how wonderful she is LOL I was finally told, by a wonderful doctor, that she is a Boarder Personality, with Narcissist and sociopath tendences. I was her target all of her life, until she totally destroyed my life when she was thirty five years old. I don't know any thing about Boader line personalitys, but I do know she is 100 percent Narcissist and does not have any feeling for any one but her self. I saw you had a video on Mother - Daughter with the mother being the narcissist. I would have loved to have heard one on the daughter the narcissist. Thank you for all of the videos you have done because I am sure you have helped many people who were being hurt and abused by these sick people, and you spared many from more pain and heartache, when they learned from you, it was not their fault and they headed for the hills. I would have loved to write you privately, but did not see where I could do that. When you give birth to a child like this, it really takes many years of pain and suffering from them, before you can really except in your heart how sick they are, and nothing will ever change them:( To any one that reads this, if you are involved with one of these people, please move on as fast as you can. No one deserves the pain these sick people dish out.
Almost at 100k subs doc. Do something awesome when you hit the 100k mark.
Very good example of Narcissim. And also they can vasculate between the grandeous and the vunerabke also
A Very clear explanation. Thank you for another interesting video.
Great insight!
5 star rating! Dr. Todd Grande
Excellent! Thank you Dr. Grande!
As I think I’ve seen my mother oscillate between vulnerable and classic narcissistic behavior, the thought patterns range. But, even when she’s vulnerable, I could still feel an entitled rage going on.
As I’ve said before, too, people need to try to keep their distance from narcissists. It’s not simply a thing of them never changing and being fixed. It’s that they have a strong belief system in how they see and address the world. As they say, it’s you who is forced to change and that never works in your favor. Before I even knew she was narcissistic and learned anything about it, I used to wonder why she would be so adamant with me. I’m still due respect, as an adult and I expect to be addressed as such. Not as someone who blindly takes directives. I felt that, if she had a problem with that, then she would simply have a problem. But, as her narcissism increased and I continued to mature, her clamping down became more apparent and concretized, with as much clamping as you could try to do to someone who doesn’t live with you, they’re in their 50s, you don’t pay their bills and you need for them to drive you places and take care of some of your business for you. Still, rather than to battle her increasing narcissism, it’s best not to be in her midst as, we’d both become truly frustrated since, I wouldn’t give into that behavior.
This was incredibly helpful. I had quite a few of those examples backward in my head. Duh me, vulnerable is they key word. I don’t know why I’ve overlooked that lately. Thanks yet again :)
Wow nice job! Thanks again for another helpful and informative video
What does a Narcissist think?
My mother: "I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want..."
Powerful. Thank you, Dr. Grande. Grande.... everything is in your name. GRANDE.
Very informative. Also, he is so well spoken. No filler words 👏🏾
Thank you for thorough video; Nice tie!👍😃
We are live tonight on ZAV GIRL at 8 pm EST discussing possible changes on UA-cam rules/regulations & focusing on what is acceptable to discuss w regard to Watts case (& other big cases). Frank SR is unhappy w coverage so it will discuss this as well.
I am a lead moderator/admin on this channel & would like you to pop in & say hello in livestream if you’d like.
Thank you! Dr Angelina
EXCELLENT VIDEO!
you look good with the beard brother, grow it out!
Thank you doctor!
These videos are incredible. Extremely helpful and informative. Delivered in a pleasant and engaging way.
Funny to be an expert on narcissism and be called ‘Doctor Grande’.
I am excited to learn more from this channel.
So helpful! Thank you.
Some if these seem like normal, run of the mill, thoughts people can have. Maybe you mean versions of these thoughts that aren't softened by other thoughts/actions. Its interesting, thanks for sharing ☆☆☆☆
Dr G - A bell went off in my head when you described marriage partner thoughts/ Oh my goodness. Now I have to wonder at the reasons for my marriage breakdown. he refused to discuss or change his mind; he'd already made it up. I could never understand. wow btw several of your videos on this topic have made me wonder but I thought I was just being mean for thinking it. thank you.
So Brilliant✨
Interesting video Dr. Grande. Could you do a similar video on people who are Antisocial or psychopathic?
Interesting to see him describing himself perfectly in one of his own diagnostics. "Dr Grandiose"
Dr. Grande that was a very entertaining well presented description of that kind of inner behavior. Sort of like the grandiose narcissist spreading his talents everywhere too thin while stopping often to brag about his every effort and while doing expecting the moon for all of his efforts which according to him [or her] no one could do equally as well at being a partner too while everyone else less worthy is supposed to be jumping over the moon while the vulnerable narcissist in desperation to stay in denial about anything being wrong with them or the situations they choose to be in does everything they can to preserve their talent for running [away] while at the same time according to them not looking like they are too much in a hurry to get there and then when finally getting back full circle again in order to prove to themselves that talent of theirs is still there because they did it all their own best way in contrast with their unappreciative former partner and so according to them [if a worst case possible of vulnerable narcissism] they believe that it is their freedom of choice to risk maybe ending whatever chance they have left of achieving their next step while pretending that it doesn't exist anyway just so they can hang onto that I did it all my way talent all their own.
Wow. Useful to know the reality rather than having any idealistic notions, making assumptions. I know you've done a video recently about CPTSD, and I wonder what form/s of treatment you view as being most helpful considering the wide range of signs and symptoms that appear to be connected(accepting the fact that CPTSD is not yet fully recognised as a diagnosis)? I have heard that it is difficult to treat effectively.
Thanks a lot for the video!
Dr. Grande, could you explain what is “high/low neuroticism”? Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge.
Hello Dr grande I want to thank you so much for all your videos they sure are very important in a lot of situations again I want to thank you and you are a very good doctor
I love the breakdown
I appreciate your videos , thank you
Thank you🙏💙