What are Narcissists Really Thinking? | 10 Narcissistic Behaviors and the Thoughts that Cause Them
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- Опубліковано 14 січ 2020
- This video answers the questions: What are narcissists really thinking? Can I identify some of the beliefs and thoughts that are behind narcissistic behaviors?
Narcissistic personality disorder is a Cluster B personality disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual. It has nine symptom criteria, five of which are required for a diagnosis.
1: Grandiose sense of self-importance
2: Fantasies
3: Special or unique
4: Requires excessive admiration
5: Sense of entitlement
6: Manipulative
7: Lacks empathy for others
8: Often envious
9: Arrogant attitudes or behaviors
Narcissism:
There are two types of narcissism: With grandiose narcissism we see characteristics like being extroverted, socially bold, self-confident, having a superficial charm, being resistant to criticism, and being callous and unemotional. Vulnerable narcissism is characterized by shame, anger, aggression, hypersensitivity, a tendency to be introverted, defensive, avoidant, anxious, depressed, socially awkward, and shy.
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I wish I had had this information when I was 15 or 16 years old. I'm now 84 and now I'm learning! Thank you - you'll help a lot of people.
It is never too old to learn new things. I am 55 years old now and I wish I had learnt a lot of this helpful information when I was in my 20's.
Absolutely the same.. it's made me I'll.. wishidknown 🙏✌️👋👋👏🤗🐾
Same here, I'm only 57 but if we're armed with this knowledge at a younger age I could of manuvered around alot of toxic people.
im only 22 and i really wish i had this when i was 16 too
I'm 49 and I was with one for 19 years and just realized it. I had no clue. Point is, we're always learning, no matter what age...
As a social worker myself, I really appreciate your scholarly articulation of this disorder; with contrasts to other personality disorders. Brilliant delivery
Tasha Berkholtz,You are beautiful 🌹🌹🌺,hope you are not with a narc 😈!!
It can be so annoying how they never apologize for anything ever!
This is great information in a concise and precise form. I hope the right audience finds it. I dated a narcissist for a few months about 5 yrs ago and it was one of the most chaotic times of my life. I had phones taken away from only for him to “give” me a new one and take it back a week later to go thru everything. Was berated on looking presentable...He refused to let me talk to anyone he didn’t first ok. Ugh, All around I literally felt like a prisoner. I rly wish we were taught how to recognize some of these different personalities that are prone to being toxic earlier in life. Stay safe everyone. :(
Great comment !!! NOW GIVE ME YOUR PHONE!!!
Mackenzie Onyx you were lucky. I have been married to one for 30 years and every day is worse than the last
@@Hundredacredaycare Please get out if you can. I hope you can.
@@Hundredacredaycare I was married to one for 11 years. I ran (literally). I have been single for over 30 years, which is not the greatest thing, but I have never regretted it for a second.
It's good that you were able to get out of that toxic relationship. I agree with you, that this should be taught early on. In fact, I believe behavioral disorders should be taught alongside sex education, since they coincide in developing a romantic relationship with someone.
"If you could just recognize how superior I am I wouldn't have to lie to you."
Remiinds me of some. . .one. . .?? 🤔
Hillary and Trump!
A narcissist = a disturbed 5-year old in an adult body
...who carries around an Uzi 9mm called a "LIE-PACK...or to some...A PACK OF LIES.....and will happily shoot anybody with it for a reaction with this bullet pack....and folk who have been stripped of dignity, raiding of Wills, fake bullshit which can ruin lives completely are then "advised" by fools who have never lived this "SHIT-STORM TO HELL..and back(that is if you don't get tempted to end your very existence)..and accept it.....????
SORRY.....i'm not buying this bullcrap....they should ALL be doing TIME, A STRETCH, BIRD, PRISON...minimum LOCKED AWAY.
THEY BREAK RULES AND LAWS BECAUSE WE ARE LIVING IN A DIFFERENT WORLD TO FOLK WHO ABIDE BY LAWS.
LIVE IT(Narcissist Discard), then come back and tell me you how YOU feel.
Are you saying that as a matter of fact
or
as an insult to Narcs
because the way they are means they deserve to be insulted?
@@deadcarnivora8648 more aiming at the fact that they behave and reason like a 5 year old.
YES! they have the physical and cognitive function of a adult with the emotional maturity of a small child = scary as hell
A spoiled 5 year old!
I think narcissism mostly revolves around "I don't want to deal with this".
So whenever they have to deal with people they do it in such a way that it places their interests in the center of the interaction and structures all interaction around those interests. No interaction outside those interests is legitimate, and it's a nuisance at best, that must be swiftly dealt with, preferably not by the narcissist.
The best way to chase a narcissist away is to impose on her. To be a burden on her. Which is easily accomplished by being even mildly needy.
Oh trust me that may be one card in the frame of the house, but there are many dozens more cards holding up a narcissists house and it only takes ONE to be off just a wee bit for the whole house to come crashing down on their heads and subsequently the heads of those they "profess to love".
Its no way to live.
That's a good one.
no, no, no. you don't want to be needy to a narc. that's how they feed. you want to use the gray rock technique - simply, don't engage with them - don't feed them.
@Daniel Welch Really? That explains a hell of a lot
Would that make sense if a baby was left on a ship and rarely tended to / fed for the first 1-3 months of life it would be more likely to turn out this way?
No, they're actually sadists.
Narc= petty & the need to win at whatever costs.
@Chad Larson you got that right.
Narcissists:
Only truly feel shame and anger - all other emotions are redirected to those two main emotions. First they feel the inner shame that sadness or jealously or any other emotion makes them feel and then the shame quickly turns to anger.
Narcissists do not:
Regulate their own emotions. They are a perpetual toddler emotionally.
They do not love. All relationships- even marriage or children are conditional and can be disposed of if they feel you have nothing left that they need.
They do not feel empathy for others.
They are excessively controlling- especially with money. Money is power and that is very important to them.
They will purposely tear you down. It makes them feel more powerful and better about themselves.
They are brutally judgemental. No one is good enough and no one is off limits.
They will ruin every birthday, Christmas, new year, Halloween or special occasions.
These are my personal experiences only.
Invalidation is at the core of a narcissist and I’d bet they all tie to a childhood series of invalidation events.
Money validates.
Power validates.
Intelligence validates
Controlling others validates.
Always seeking validation.
Meh, they think they win but they are so shallow they only go for shiny things and play silly games. Best avoided.
Sounds like my boss
The lack of insight explains why they are so mean.
They have no empathy
@@horaciocapanelli-soto4710 No brains either.
Heck... all business today, aye?
I'm too underdressed to watch this video, give me a minute!
Humanimal businesss all are loaded with Narcs it’s a epidemic
That's just what he's wearing on top. Below the camera it's just boxers.
7:35 OMG Doc, this was my marriage!
So glad I got out of that clusterfugg of a relationSHIT!
Great vid again!
I first learned about NPD listening to life coaches. It was definitely helpful at the time; my brain was so scrambled I couldn’t deal with in depth information. Now I find listening to you is so much deeper and thorough that I could never go back to watered down version.... Thank you for what you do
I would love if you did a video PTSD and night terrors, people think you can just get over it and you can't it takes hours to settle yourself back down. It would be interesting if you did a video on this subject so people do understand
Lucid dreaming might help you with the night terrors - It did to me - look in to it =) GL
@@DanielTejnicky thank you I will look into that anything that will help will be appreciated oh, you have a wonderful day
Being safely physically away from the source of terror will gradually reduce the frequency and eventually it will stop.
@@DanielTejnicky yeah I support that. I developed lucid dreaming from when I was a teenager I used to often get nightmares throughout my childhood and reading a book about how to train your mind really helped. Nowadays there is youtube.
Practicing the skills of being able to awaken yourself to awareness in your dreams that it is a dream, and you can control what happens in your dream, can really help you psychologically. It means you are in control and you can develop the psychological strength to be able to control what happens to you and around you to keep you safe.
I've had dreams where I've woken up within the dream to become lucid, where I've had to fight off all kinds of manner of vampires, rapists, people trying to beat me up, shoot at me with guns, saved myself from impending death falling off of mountains, I can flly in my dreams, I've fought off the near death experience of almost freezing to death in my dreams. etc. Dodged bullets, you name it. When you become lucid you can fight or rise above or control anything in your mind.
@Lady Mopar hope you can overcome whatever it is you are dealing with.
@@liliaaaaaaaa Yes Lucid Dreaming is in my opinion one of the most powerful tools, that everyone has access to - even tho it is or was till recently pretty overlooked. It is also a hint to perhaps true nature of reality. I too started spontainiously lucid dream due to repeating nightmares. I was working thru childhood trauma of broken familly and then nightmares were horrible, as they should. Since I had about 5-6 same scenarios, I started to slowly recognize them. Like "oh this is this nightmare - oh NO!" and then the terrible things appened. Till one day. I had enough. And knowing I was in a nightmare I screamed that I want peace. What happened next started my lucid dreaming journey. And after 15 more years I've finally discovered that it has a name "Lucid dreaming" that it is a thing people do. Controlling dreams is just a start tho. =)
I'm quite satisfied that Dr. Grande is cognizant of my worth as he personally thanks me for viewing his sundry episodes.
This was a surprisingly thorough video, considering Dr. Grande only used 10 examples. The other contrasting personality disorders examples added breath and depth too.
Genius!
The comparisons helped me to see how the same behavior can occur with different intent. Narcissism is something people throw around a lot and call others to be. This helped me to understand there is a complexity to this
My ex narc is so delusional he's from Sewell NJ white male 56 Rob Gandy with 4 aliases Roy, Robin, G Andy, Robert Sr. He's on tinder, zoosk, bumble dating sites. Tell your friends, neighbors to Run fast if they encounter It!
It was a really amazing way to create understanding!
Their vocabulary: "deep", "perfect", "me", " I am", "you are", "I deserve", "revenge", "they lie", "I know", "I am right", "be aware!", "I need", "I want"...etc.
Ty he did need my help I saved his life only to go over and find his ex wife there doing the dishes . the neigbhir didnt like him he talked about kicking the older dog he had. The neighbor had no idea
This was incredibly easy to understand for something so packed with ideas. One of my favorites, too. Thank you, Dr. Grande!
My man Dr Grande on fireeeee. 🔥🙏🏽
Great video, Dr. Grande.
I’d like to see this list specifically to Vulnerable Narcissism.
Kel,Hope you are not with a narcissist…
They're thinking, "CONSUME, CONSUME, GOBBLE GOBBLE, EAT UP ALL THE WHOLESOME ENERGIES, VOID THE WORLD OF ALL GOODNESS AND PURITY, EAT, CONSUME, SPREAD DARKNESS." lol
Sure weirdo
I always think of a "plow" and a "object". Bulldozing (immoral, boundless, unethical, relentless) over whatever or whomever is in their way.
A two year old latent Adult coward.
They are the go'aould in stargate.
@@yeetyeetyeet1967 You disagree? You have that right and I'm glad you have the capacity to exercise it. Cheers.
@@RantTherapist you call yourself therapist but you dehumanize people with a self-esteem issue. Thats why i called you a weirdo.
Helping us understand the thoughts behind the actions and behaviors is especially interesting and helpful in navigating relationships. Thanks!
that was super interesting and very useful! ...same behaviors, different motivations. perhaps this is why some of us wonder if WE are the narcissist?
Indeed! And some aggressive people (not referring just narcissists) like to say how other people behave the same way as they are, so "everyone is the same". But no, there are multiple reasons for doing something. In the end we all need to take responsibility for our behaviour, but there's no reason to think that "if I behaved this way, I must have thought and aimed for this" - that's the dependency actually, when you believe more what someone else says about you than what you know inside of you that you thought, felt and meant. One of the most hurting aspects of narcissistic abuse is the gaslighting - how you start to question your own inner knowledge and instead take on the reality that the narcissist explains to you.
Yes indeed, I was upset because I thought I was Narcissistic awaile back. This helped me understand a lot more about myself and others. I think I may have Avoidant traits too. I have anxinty and would get Panic Attacks when promoted to leave the house for a social setting. I didn't want to interact with anyone and be judged in anyway. It would make me obsessively doubt my worth. These videos are so interesting. I love learning about this stuff!! Thank you Dr. Grande, your videos should be in schools. This is like being in a class room.❤
Ive seen some other channels explain some things about narcissism and then thought "do you not realize YOU sound like a narcissist when explaining this?" I really like the way you deliver the information. You provide the service and you can apply it to your life. its extremely helpful
I find this type of video very interesting.
This video is the most educative one among all psychology-related videos I have seen so far, as far as I am concerned. The comparison of probable thoughts leading to the same behavior but coming from different personalities... This is so eye-opening, it actually helps me understand the world better. Thank you so much for your channel, Dr. Grande.
Thank you, this really helps my fiction writing. I have a story from the point of view of someone, an antagonist with NPD and I wanna get in their head of what kind of perspective they have, as it's a really fascinating thing. I found there are some people on Quora who were diagnosed with NPD who answer questions about it. How truthful are they? Who's to say! But they explain their thought processes and how they try to catch themselves and avoid problem behavior, as well as what got them to the point where they realized *they* were the ones causing most issues in their relationships.
Dr. Grande- When I saw the title, my immediate thought was "but all the personality disorders display narcissism"! I was so refreshed that you provided a cross-cutting analysis! I'm tired of all of the content about "narcissists" as they are all the same type. Having been in a LTR with someone who is more on the malignant narcissist/psychopathic/ASPD and then with a BPD I've come to appreciate that the behavior can appear similar, but the motivations and reasons for these behaviors are coming from a completely different place. I think others see some of these patterns as being the same, and thus I keep making the "same mistakes". Perhaps I have. However I have much more compassion for someone with BPD who has the capacity for empathy, and moments of insight. Unlike the former disorder, I know that BPD is treatable and egodystonic (yes, I learned that from you!) versus egosyntonic for the narcissist/psychopath/ASPD. I hope you can provide more content that deconstructs narcissism because it's not always helpful to paint narcissistic behavior with the same brush.
Yes, as my significant other falls into the less known categories of Vulnerable N, OCPD, PPD and Avoidant, it's been like navigating a mine field for three years. Generally, he is kindhearted in nature until 'splitting' occurs. That is when I recognise he is not 'present' and, therefore, do not attempt even basic discussion with him. That is also when fantasies are prevalent and I do not recognise the un-reality in which he is residing at that time. One must wonder if I just have free time on my hands or if I have a sense of self with the degree to which engaging with this Soul entails. Call it Love - however love from a distance... a healthy distance.
Thank you for these videos, Dr.
Dr Grande, I must say it was nice to see you burst with laughter when saying "I don't know what emotional depth is, I'm superficial."
You are right - it is funny to think of such person :-)
🤣🤣🤣🤣
That was the best crack-up I've seen Dr Grande do, ever! He suppresses them lately but it's so natural 😄
Wow. I think these videos should be taught in schools
Incredible work getting so much info in a 13 minute video
"I need to demonstrate that I have power in order to feel validated."
This is something i feel so often
Couldn’t wait to watch after I saw the title. Love the tie😉 Thank you Dr. Grande
Brilliant video Dr Grande. Thank you kindly 😀
You got mentioned in another video I watched a couple days ago ( I forgot im so sorry!!) and I got so excited!!!
Watching your videos has been so enlightening. My father has npd and my mom has bpd. My therapist says this is surprising common and we're working on my 'trauma'. But watching these videos and understanding why my parents are the way make it easier to forgive them and not be so angry.
I appreciate you and your insight and I'm crazy glad you're getting recognition!!
Thank you, Dr. Grande. This video is a quantum leap in my understanding of NPD.
You did a good job on this in my hop Dr. Grande.
Thanks for your effort helping others understand.
Thanks for adding to my knowledge.
Once again thanks for these helpful videos. Congrats on all the subscribers. Have a great Wednesday Dr. G
Thank you for your work Dr G. It's always SO helpful, informative and professional. Nice look today too
It was a very interesting video Dr. GRANDE. Thank you for the upload !
This episode is really good at helping us to dissect motivation in other's behavior even if a person hasn't been diagnosed (which most of us have not been).
Thank you so much for your insight on this subject Dr Grande, your videos are very helpful
Dr. Grande you do such a great job presenting your professional knowledge to an audience that doesn’t necessarily have a medical background. You are a great instructor. Its obviously you put a lot of thought towards how to present this information. I appreciate the work you do helping others understand information that is based on scientific facts that have been researched and proven by other experts in these fields of study. Thank you
Woohoo! Been hoping for this one. Thank you so much Dr. Grande. Will have to watch a few times to get a handle on it. And, it’s raining in Australia, it’s a wonderful day!
I've been binge watching Dr. Grande. This analysis is very educational as Narcissism is finally being recognized. Thank you Dr. Grande🪴🪴🪴🪴
Hi Dr Grande. Great video and very insightful about the narc's 10 traits.
Thank you very much. Certainly high quality content 👏
Excellent topic, and a very useful video. I think everyone knows atleast a couple people who fall into this category.
Amazing work as always Dr G!!
Dave's World - They come out of the woodwork around me.
Fantastic! Thank you Dr.Grande
I appreciate the way you re-framed interpretations of interactions between individuals. It can be challenging to to see where people "are coming from", and it is important to try and account for other viewpoints. When we view anything from a single perspective we mostly miss the broader picture (classic example is the blind person describing an elephant).
Obviously, you already know this hence your video. I just wanted to thank you for your clear and concise descriptions.
Wow, that really gave so many interesting examples and what an amazing idea of showing how the very same thought/action might be result of a different emotional process. Your insights are gold! I prefer your videos to films and TV-series because yours are so much more exiting. Thank you, dr. Grande and I hope other people bring you joy that you bring us by helping us rethink human condition. Much love!
Another amazing video!! Thank you DR Grande:)
Thank you for another great insights, Dr. Grande!! The truth of the matter is some people choose to stay in the position of staying in the comfort zone and accusing others who seeks growth in life to be disruptive towards theirs, while there is no connection whatsoever with them. The narcs operate in totally different values and refuse changes. Even though the outcome may look similar, but the operating values are totally different. Otherwise, there won't be so many asylum seekers around the freedom world?! Again, thank you Doc, and God bless🙏🤞💞
Teach it! Thank you Dr Grande for doing what you. And doing it so well.
Thank you, Dr Todd, that was great!
Thank you! Having a better understanding is very beneficial, and you help me with that more than you probably realize. I really appreciate ya, Doc :)
Can u make a vid about signs of a father with Paranoid Personality Traits? Appreciate the videos Dr.
That is interesting, there are not enough videos on PPD.
He would think that you want to hurt him.
Omg brilliant idea
This was a verry good one..like how you did other personality disorders in comparison..very helpful!:)
This is amazing!!! I always wondered what was going on in my father’s head when he was so cruel. Dr. Grande could you please do a similar video about BPD, especially when they’re falsely accusing people of something, please?
Brilliant as usual Dr Grande thank you,love from the UK
Biutiful ratio 646-0. I have never seen comparable. Ty for your splendid work Dr. Grande.
Great video as always!
Thank you for this video. I live this.
EXCELLENT VIDEO ON NARCISSISTIC BEHAVIORS!
I love your videos. Keep up the good work.
i really like the comparisons to other issues
Dr. Grande. Loved this info! What motivates people and how they think is fascinating to me, yet I can’t figure this stuff out on my own because, well, I can really only know for sure how I, myself, think!
Would love to hear more about how others think!
Thanks!
TIFFANY OLSTER,You look stunning 🌹 🌷🌺,hope you are not with a narc 😈!!
08:25 Great humour there, Dr Grande. Good to see you laugh 😂
Great topic 🔥
This is an excellent video. Please teach us more about the maladaptive insights and thoughts from people with any kind of personality disorder.
Thank you very much Dr. Grande 😃🇳🇱
It must be exhausting to be a narcissist. All that lying, gas lighting etc, seems tiring
All the future fakeing as well.
One of your best videos. 🧡
Agree with Dr. Grande 100 %
great examples!
I'm so grateful to see this. Yesterday someone arguing to not stigmatize mental illness reduced a particular public figure's reprehensible behavior to "they're just a jerk". Then disavowed that the figure had any mental issues. Be firm on the issues and soft on the person. This type of simplification is more for the sake of distancing oneself from understanding the offending person because when you simplify, you feel less empathy. We all have motives and causes behind our behaviors and thought patterns, I think whether or not they are consciously motivated at present. Understanding where they come from can help the acting party be more mindful and encourage exploration of alternatives, while making the bystanders feel the offense is less personalized. Thanks again for opening up the discussion!
When you are dealing with a relationship with a disordered person there comes a time it's no use having empathy. You have to fight for your own sanity. Therefore stop analysis of why is this person like this etc and just simplify: WOULD I HAVE ACTED THIS WAY? NO . Make it simple for your survival. Otherwise the person who's trying to get our of a bad relationship will find excuses to be empathetic and understanding just keeping the door open for more abuse. We are taking about ABUSE. And the extreme difficulty some people who were abused as children to leave bad situations. If it has to be simplified for the person as This person is a jerk leave him/her, so be it.
@@carlahaiduk1878 This wasn't a relationship though. My comments were related to a superficial view of this situation. Also I don't believe you should ask "would I have behaved that way" because how can you be sure that you have not or would not given the other person's background. Rather I think you should evaluate whether or not the relationship has had an overall positive or negative impact or how much you want to continue on with the same kinds of negative situations occurring in perpetuity. Empathy is necessary in all things and has little to do with whether you decide to continue being mistreat. It can be present when you stay in a bad situation and after you leave, it doesn't make you stay. I find a lot of people that say they have been victimized by narcissistic people are very rageful even years later according to them. That is not healthy, it would be like continuing your own abuse through other means because in the short-term it relieves feelings of powerlessness, hurt, shame, etc. In fact, if narcissistic people lack affective empathy why would anyone victimized by them want to? The narcissistic person would certainly have reasons for mistreating another person and feel justified and that to me can be a slippery slope for you as a person exposed to reasons that can be used to justify lacking empathy. So, I feel looking at it for what it is at present is best. I can feel empathy even sympathy for this person but behind a boundary because their coping and defense choices are destructive. I can understand they don't have enough insight and internal strength to fully face the reality they perpetuate preferring fantasy while removing myself from the splash zone. It takes time to process one's emotions but I don't think it's good to endorse lack of empathy but rather an understanding of how hard it is to change even oneself, therefore your inability to change someone else and to value your own peace to distance yourself from those that have emotionally messy habits. However far away for yourself you must be and getting to know YOURSELF enough to understand how you came to be in the position you were in. It's not useful to lack empathy, that's what boundaries are for. I hope for healing in those that need it because people in this cluster usually have not healed and we see how distasteful that can make life.
You offer here a compendium that seems surprisingly comprehensive given the shortness of time; I do think that examples connecting behaviour to intent and characteristics are under-represented. Knowing about the criteria or that self-centredness happens is one thing; seeing what is really occurring in a situation with someone who meets those criteria or who is obviously self-centred is quite another.
One way this comes to life for me is when I look back on when I was younger: there was an intensely frustrating difference between having the intellectual analytical abilities and being able to bring them to bear effectively in the middle of situations of extreme abuse from the people to whom I happened to be born. They had an uncanny ability to prevent any emergence of rational, factually based thinking using unstoppable avalanches of bullshit. I even thought at the time that they may deliberately aim for maximal insanity specifically to induce a kind of mental dislocation. Yet only later did I come to realise that my flaw in all this is that I was stupidly believing that it is possible to engage rationally with people who have complete contempt for you, disregard for reality, and who automatically assume that you are as singularly obsessed with how they feel as are they themselves. Getting inside their heads really undermines their power to abuse others, so I see your work here as a contribution to human wellbeing.
Is Dr. Grande a narcissist? Just listen to the man's name. Probably thinks grandiose stems from him 😉 Nah, just kidding! Great information, Love this channel! 🙏🏼
Can u suggest any books giving insights about psychology for laymen?
He's related to this mafia guy I know, called Mr. Big.
He does tend to heart the comments that praise him. Flattery goes a long way with people with narcissistic personalities. Works with my father. Everybody is on the narcissism spectrum; some stronger than others. Those who are abusive are high on the spectrum. Those who are lower on the spectrum may enjoy praise a lot.
Dr. Grande is the antithesis of narcissism!
Agreed... Not gimmicky at all, but much depth and substance
Great video!!!!
THANK YOU!
Renowned czech court psychiatrist M. Holanova introduced me to Your channel and its really eye-opening. Thanks for all Your scientific insight! Living in family with widespread combination of antisocial, paranoid, even sadistic personality disorder is real horror (being raised by paranoid tyranical sadistical p.d. is like being raised by real devil), but at least now I know the reality (although it hurts and it was avoidable) and the reasons, why I suffer more than 11 years from chronic moderate clinical depression and severe phobia, which ruined my young life as a physics teacher. Anyway, thank You very much for Your highly educative channel, keep up your great work!!!
I recognize some of these beliefs in the statements my father has said.
I agree with you, lack of understanding why they do what they do. I've seen this
hi Dr.Grande, I've been binge watching your videos lately. I have one question about narcissistic fantasy. Is it unusual for a non-narcisstic to have a fantasy about better life, career , or financial condition ? if it's normal for a non narcisstic to have fantasy, what distinguishes a narcissist's and a non-narcissist's fantasy? example cases like you have in this video might be very helpful. TIA
Great idea! I would really appreciate a video differentiating NPD, AVPD, STPD & SPD fantasies, as well as 'normal' fantasies.
I like watching this man super smart person, and boy he can nail it on things a person thinks nobody can understand keep on keeping it real.
Wow, so interesting to hear it put so logically.
As I listened I kept thinking of the original Planet of the Apes movie or the Chimp Village in central Florida that's near me. You have helped me understand why I cover my windows with blankets ;) Very educational, as usual. Thanks for your time and efforts.
More vids like this comparing behaviors and thoughts to other disorder types please! 💙 I've got a whole house full of all kinds lol, this is really informative and helps me understand where some of my family might be coming from.
Take courage on all the opinions, you do give knowledge.
Thank you! 😃
Excellent video.
Analysis of alex jones please! would be fascinating great vid dr
He'll probably just call him a con man. Which he is.
Here's my considered professional analysis of Alex Jones: batshit crazy!! 🦇 💩 🤪
@Chad Larson Sometimes a fake is even more real than the real thing. To con someone you need to create a fake that resembles something that is real. You don't know if the "fake" is actually a fake because it imitates reality, if you knew it was a fake then it wouldn't pass as a con. To be a real con it needs to trick you into thinking it's fake.
Example: A bad person pretending to be kind. Is it the action of being kind that matters or the intent? The fake can be more kind than the *real thing* but they're fakes because of their intent. If you can't distinguish intent then the fake can appear more real than the real thing. If you see through the fake they lose the ficade, but that only opens you up to actually being conned.
A good con tricks you whether you think they're a fake or not. Thinking you can see through a con just lures you into getting conned. If you truly believe Alex Jones is a fake then do you also concede that you're getting conned? If not by Alex Jones then by the people he warns you about.
Someone is conning you. There are fakes everywhere. Not many people are the real thing.
Make sure he watches the chicken neck bastard rant first
thank you for this very insightful video!
Can you tell more about schizoid personality disorder? there seems to be not so much information on youtube.
My mother.. she doesn't say she is superficial.. she says that she is in this way.. and we have to accept her way..
Love Your videos :)
Vid is full of awesome info, Dr. Grande. I really enjoyed the comparison to other personality disorders. Would you consider doing the same with BPD with perhaps some emphasis of NPD traits?
I have just moved out of a relationship with a man who was acting in the way you are describing. 8 months together. I didn't know about narcissists. But it was feeling truly bad and couldn't be treated like that! Among other characteristics, he was entitled to full support from my part. No job. But he was... Special. And a victim of everybody and of governments. On top of everything else, he is handsome and he was working as a model 20 years ago.
Thank you for your videos
I always thought I was a narcissist but after watching this I'm not so sure. From the 10 examples I only feel identified with some points of number 6: "I know what your deep emotional needs are but I have more important things to do" (lack of empathy). Or even "I don't care what they are", but if I saw the person really suffering I would stop and listen (for compassion, existence of empathy?...or maybe is because if I see someone really stressed and I don't help I think they would hate me and I can't stand that thought? Could be, I'm not sure). I'm not married but the reasoning behind why I share that perception (number 6 in the video) is that I believe everyone is responsible for their own emotions, and therefore I think it's unfair and unethical that you make me responsible for your emotions when I have enough with my own. As long as I'm not attacking you I'm just not responsible for what you feel...again, I'm not married// Now, I said I always thought I was a narcisist because I do feel called to "grandiose" things (and that's only because I think I can do them, not for any mystical reason), I feel I can and I will become one of the best in what I do, and perhaps that's enough to diagnose narcisism (alongside some intermitent problems with empathy, as we've seen), but may I ask: how is one supposed to get big things done if he/she doesn't believe they're able to do them? And what will be the motivation to put in the effort if we eliminate the desire for recognition? Just altruistically helping all those unkown people that might benefit from your work? Maybe partially, but completely? How many of you give money to every beggar you see? If your motivations are purely altruistic why don't you do it? If you are competing in a sport, do you wish to win? Why? Do you feel pleasure when someone says to you "good job"? Why? Do you like being loved? Why? Well, I'm going to try to answer that last one "anthropologically": love is our best tool for survival, both genetically and for our own sake. Would we survive in the jungle alone? Most likely not, but with 10 comrades that worry for us? Most likely yes. And the only thing that will make them care for us is love. But how to get love. In my expierence we love those whom we admire --and our own children. We might admire people's beauty, intelligence, efficency, sense of humor, compassion and empathy, whatever virtue, but without admiration, I'm sorry, there's no love. Other people's virtues can be useful for our sake (and ultimately, survival), and love is the instinct that makes us go over there and socialice with the virtuous person, that way benefiting from their vritues and, in exchange, worrying for them and helping them, in the end, to survive.
So, if our goal in life is to survive and reproduce, and love is what provides that (at least in the natural states, capitalism is topic for another comment), the "most possible amount of love" will grant the most possible amount of survival and reproduction. And as we said admiration is what causes love, craving and seeking admiration is then just logical. And there you have poor souls trying to "show off" their virtues, when sometimes they're average at best, and sometines those are the ones that you, unempathically, just call narcissists. By the way, trying to show off your own percived virtues is not only a matter of saying look at me how awesome I am, uploading videos in UA-cam achieves exactly that; in the case of Dr.Grande of course there's the altruistic component, which by any means I deny, in fact, when narcisism and compassion marry something big can be achieved. In other words, I don't think big things (like helping milions in UA-cam) can be achieved if there aren't some social recoginition (love) needs motivating the effort. Sorry for english and impulsivity
Wow insightful! Love this, thank you. Currently living with a covert narc & forming an exit plan. It’s soul destroying and physically manifesting in terrible symptoms.
Just said a prayer for you. God bless!