Honestly, having a bunch of new information in every video isn't even that important because when it comes to self-development everyone needs reminders of concepts they probably already intuitively know. I think some repetition in your content serves it's purpose really well.
I completely agree with this. In the same way like advertising and parental pressure is repeated to us on and on , I also believe that we need reminder of other things as well
I actually appreciate that she takes time to think about sharing new information in every video, I agree with you that we need reminders, but personally speaking, when I see videos or read books, my brain always wants to get new info, it's like new and different food for my brain and spirit, I just can't imagine repeating the same info, over and over, it will be like chewing the same gum forever. So, in conclusion I think @Rowena is one of the few influencers who actually takes the time to think about their audience and how to apport something useful to this universe instead of just thinking about the amount of views she can get like to many others who don't really care about the people. So, thanks Rowena for sharing your knowledge and being so compromised with your goals of helping people. To me and I'm sure for too many others it makes a really good difference and that's why I follow her, cuz of her authenticity. That's a gift.
I HAVE AN ALL OR NOTHING MINDSET!! It's awful and it's present in EVERY aspect of my life. I'm trying to get rid of that black and white mentality because I know it is making me very unhappy
That chart on “perfection” vs “excellence” was so on-point. Seeking perfection can be a road to frustration because it is so external focused. It is almost motivated by fear. Very useful video. Thanks for sharing!
My mom always says “don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.” Many times I lack the motivation to start a project bc I’m so obsessed with it going perfectly. But once you start, and try your best, the outcome should be good!
I seriously need to start taking notes on all of Rowena's videos and just like.... STUDY what she has to say. I swear, Rowena is a MASTER of self-esteem and identity and productivity and becoming your best self... Such an inspiration.
I love that she's so honest about her own mistakes and experiences while bringing light to these real questions/ problems that everyone is so afraid to talk about. The mask analogy really is the reason why people are so disconnected from each other. Thanks for another nugget of wisdom Rowena! 💜
you dont know how much i needed this, rowena. i'm a fresh grad who just started a contract job in a field completely unrelated from what i studied the past 3 years. 4 months into my job, i have recently been feeling 'not enough', as what you speak. With 0 knowledge and experience, i feel like my manager teaching me every step of the way feels like she's spoonfeeding me and rn i feel like 'if i was good enough i would be able to be better and help her out instead'. this made me feel super anxious and stressed as i open my work laptop every morning because i don't think im doing enough, but there's just only so much i can do. i want to achieve the very best, and if i don't i feel like someone will shoot me in the head (because its work, like it affects other people and not just me).
i admit that i always feel like i am inadequate in various aspects because of this. But after watching your video, i'll try my best to accept myself more, and just chill out :) done is better than perfect, being present and only focusing on what i can do to improve in the moment rather than what i can't change, i will try my very best to practice these mindsets to avoid feeling super anxious and stressed when there's no reason to feel so. thank you so much, rowena🥰
I was much more of a perfectionist when I was in undergrad than now. I used to have stomach issues from the anxiety. I used to shake when having to present in front of others. Now I’m in grad school. I still struggle with perfectionism. Grades do matter, because I would not even be able to be in this program unless I had good grades, at the same time, I have to realize at times, there’s only so far I can push myself. I do do well, but I have to accept that not every project I work on will come out 100% the way I wanted to. Recently I got a 90 on a big project worth 20% of my overall grade. Part of me was like “Yay!” And the perfectionist side of me was like, “what about that other 10 points though that I missed?” Sometimes there’s other things involved that we have no control over. I ran into technical difficulties that were unseen before the project (basically the software we were required to upload PPT slides messed with the format of slides so they did not come out well in some parts). However, it’s simply not my fault if a software that I didn’t make doesn’t work properly. Sometimes we produce things that wow people and we feel is the best representation of who we are, and sometimes we still did good but the reactions we get can be different. I think what I try to strive for now, is that I simply gave it my all within the situation given. Sometimes that means putting myself first and taking the breaks I need. Some days it’s just ok to be tired and you just have to work through it and do what you can. Eventually I learned if we don’t put ourselves first, we burn out, and then we definitely won’t be able to do the things we strive for 100%. Ok that was a long ass comment but this is how I feel about this topic.
@Yeonjun Choi yes I get it and honestly today I still struggle sometimes. I think it’s kind of about changing your mindset though. Like obviously, I’m not trying to say go to the other extreme and not give a damn about anything and just do things without any care of effort, no. I still think we can strive for the best, but sometimes our best may mean that it will come along with imperfections. I think the issue with perfectionism is that sometimes we get carried away with wanting to do very well and slip into obsession. I think that when we obsess, it can also really block our creativity because our thought process is being really cautious of making mistakes. Like I said, I still believe in striving for your best, but I think part of the inner work is to not like beat yourself up if you don’t get a perfect score or perfect whatever and come to the realization that often subtle imperfections are a part of everyday life.
@@pault9544 the part about creativity is really true. As someone known to have artistic skills whether in writing or painting, I just can't start and continue painting lines. I know that I can do better than that since there are works I did that turned out great! The thing that's pulling me back is what people think, and will think about me. Makes me anxious to the core, and I subconsciously doubt my abilities and cause myself a mental block
ugh perfectionism is my biggest crutch and source of anxiety just like you, I also thought that perfectionism was a blessing in disguise - it only turned its ugly side to me only in the last few years when I had TOO MUCH to try to be perfect about, too much of the time. I've been taking small steps to try to also convince myself that "done is better than perfect" "no one is scrutinizing you to the same degree that you do" "you're your biggest critic" "your 'flaws' and 'imperfections' are part of what make you - *you* and special and unique" but damn girl, it's haaaard haha
My “mask” has been on for most of my life. I don’t even know what I’m like without my “mask”. I’m working on finding out who I really am. Starting a bit late (I’m 26) and kind of sad that I spent my teens and early 20s hiding and not being myself
I hit rock bottom when I was 22 and spent many years after to get back on my feet. I also felt like I wasted so much time but then I realised 2 things. Every human being in every country and culture goes through a fase of finding them themselves. In simpler cultures this (adolescent) period can take 2 weeks, in more complex cultures like common in the west it can take years, and be very difficult. So what you're experiencing is hard, but not uncommon. Secondly I realised the odds are that I stil had 50 years left to live a life that suits me. You still have 2/3 of your life ahead of you too! It's not realistic to wish you've felt differently in your teens. Firstly, you can't turn back time. Seconsly, it's highly highly uncommon to go through that fase of finding yourself before you go to high school. It might seem like everyone around did, but they just have solid hard masks 😉 you're doing great! Congratulations on finding this path of self-discovery and enjoy the next 2/3 of you life! 💕
@@elainedejonge1851 I'm going through something similar. I'm probably going to have to change my major and start therapy. It's been steady downhill since highschool. I've always been too afraid to reveal to others what I really want, and tormenting myself with too much work in order to avoid decisions. I'm 23. Something tells me I'm not supposed to swim in so deep waters this young. Something's wrong here.
this came at such a good time, right now I feel so overwhelmed and have been procrastinating for the past 5 days, I feel so anxious and behind everything and don't have any energy. I don't want to go to uni or wake up. I stay up later than 3 am every night and take a lot of naps to escape reality. My relationships with people are great and I feel so fulfilled emotionally but achievement wise, I'm very insecure. I don't know what to do. Except to fix my sleep a bit I guess. Hmm. Hopefully we can start from there and feel better.
I used to be the same! I used to think that perfectionism is a strength, every time my bosses and colleagues would tell me or tease me about me being such a perfectionist I would pride myself with it until I realized it is not something to highlight. Humility is more important and I seriously think that it feeds your soul a higher sense of self than being such a perfectionist. Thanks for the reminder, Rowena :)
THIS CAME JUST AT THE RIGHT TIME!!! Recently, I've started noticing how my perfectionism trait is ruining my daily life. I would struggle with settling or starting something because I'm worried it won't be perfect!! Thanks for this video Rowena!!
Holy shit, you've hit the spot! I always tried to be perfect: The perfect daughter, the perfect student, the perfect employee. Until I hit rock bottom a few months ago and decided to quit my job - regardless of what other people would say. And I feel so, so, so damn free! xD I'm now working in an easy going and not "well respected" job field. I'm not the best employee there and I love it 😂 I took a break from my perfectionism and it is the best thing I ever did for myself!
That's exactly how I felt a year ago working a factory job abroad. I loved it. And language barrier prevented me from using my brain at work or talking about my future. It was paradise.
Perfection of excellence! I like that. It is about making things better in the end, not "perfect." The world is not perfect, and so are we. We just need to make decent improvements 🤝
Perfectionism is why I have a hard time creating when I love to create. I needed to hear these tips before bed and I'll be watching this video again tomorrow. Thanks so much for posting this. ☺️
I am always amazed and thankful at the topics you’ve chosen for your videos and their timing of it!!! I don’t know how you do it, but it’s almost as if you sense what people are going through and feeling; it truly is amazing! I was just thinking about my own habit of trying to be a perfectionist a few days ago and here you are, speaking about the very subject! Your videos are continuously inspiring and gives me good values as to who I aspire to become in the future. And just a little tip for you; repeating contents are not a bad thing. Most of the time, we all get caught up in life and forget about those important values and self-awareness. So please don’t put yourself down for worrying about repeating contents because you never know who you might be helping at the right place and time! Ok, I’m done with my little rant😅
I knew that I used to be a perfectionist and I honestly thought I fixed that. Yet there's been something holding me back and I just couldn't figure out what it was. I've struggled so much with trying to start things I know I need to get done, I've been procrastinating and so afraid of failure. Now I realize just because it's not as bad as it used to be, doesn't mean I'm 100% over it. Thank you for this video. Things have been tough recently and I think I'll end up coming back here a few times as a gentle reminder to myself. I really think it'll be a wonderful resource. Good luck going on your own journey with perfectionism! It might be a long road, but thank goodness it never has to be a lonely one.
Honestly what’s so hard about perfectionism is that I do it without even thinking I am. If I ever have a goal or a task before I’m done being given directions, I’ve already got a plan to be the best at it.
Exactly what I needed 😭😭 "The main thing about demanding perfection from yourself & having perfectionism tendencies, is because you feel like you're inadequate in certain aspects of your life so you need to overcompensate by being perfect." Damn. That hit me hard 😅 thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences to us, Rowena! I love that you are so real. Truly inspiring and motivating! ✨
Rowena, I was really moved by the things you shared about perfectionism. I'm still learning and growing to accept who I am, just the way I am. Thank you for being vulnerable and real. I really appreciate your honesty and sincerity in this video. You're sharing a message that everyone needs to hear.
I’m so grateful for this video and I also noticed that one of the best parts of the viewing experience is that you don’t rush. You don’t rush your videos or speak so quickly we have to think too hard to keep up. Instead you are paced and mindful and that helps me stay mindful too
This video came into my feed just in time. I was near breakdown because of the situation with remote learning, pressure from external sources and things at home. "Enjoy the journey," is a concept I need to work on right now. I, too, was raised to believe that I wasn't enough. Thank you for this inspiring talk, Rowena. This really helped me right now.
That side by side list of perfectionism vs excellence is a total game changer. Just owning how much I do for external validation instead of internal betterment is making so many pieces fit together in projects I have yet to see through because I'm so terrified of them being judged because they're imperfect and I'm still learning/growing. Awesome job, Rowena! Thank you!
Perfection is crazy when you think about it. People are so different that if we were perfect, nothing special about people would be noticed. I’m glad that seeing imperfections help us grow! 🌱 thank you for this video, it’s great to know that more people deal with outer vs inner issues.
I was literally just venting to my mom last night about how stressed I was and we came to the conclusion that I put all the stress on myself by being a perfectionist and that my perfectionism tends to hold me back. I want to actively change and develop better habits and this video is definitely what I’ve been needing lately.
All I can say is that you are absolutely amazing. Was having one of the hardest mornings of my life due to my "all or nothing" mindset, but now I feel like I can take on the day through baby steps and focusing on progress. Thank you so so much
Was thinking about falling asleep and then I saw your video ! Love this I always have to remind myself that done is better than perfect and usually perfectionism is an act of resistance.
It is really helpful and encouraging to me when I hear UA-camrs I look up to talk about their struggles when making videos. It makes me realize that I'm not a complete failure, that pretty much everyone feels these things, no matter how big or small. Also, "done is better than perfect" is something I need to remember. I have heard it before, but I need to actually repeat it over and over until I live that way.
THIS reminds me of Thandiwe Newton's Ted talk about " embracing myself" ! A must watch for everyone who hides themselves and wants to be seen as a certain somebody but not yourself
i will forever be grateful for discovering rowena. as someone who has trouble getting through self help books, getting these messages through video has helped me IMMENSELY. thank u thank u thank u ro 😌💗✨
So freakin relatable!! I still want to start my own YT channel and even received the vlog camera (you have as well) for my birthday in January. But my perfectionism and procrastination have been stopping me. I'm reading Big Magic right now and after this video I got inspired as well. Gonna make a start for realz now 😭!!!! You're doing amazing Rowena!!! 🤩🥰❤️ have a great day.
Thank you Rowena! 💖 As a new UA-camr it's so refreshing and reassuring to hear you talk about your struggles with perfectionism, especially with filming! I can relate so much to feeling like you said nothing important, feeling more comfortable doing voiceovers than talking on camera, and having the sun go down before you've finished filming 😭 I've always adored your videos and you're a huge part of the reason I started doing UA-cam in the first place, so seeing you have the same struggles gives me hope. You are perfect as you are Rowena, I can't wait to continue watching your videos xxx
In the perfection vs excellence section I agree with everything except the "external validation" point. I genuinely don't mind what others will think of my end project, since you can never please everyone, but it's that what will I think of myself after being faced with the end result. I guess I'm just way too harsh when it comes to judging and evaluating things.
thank you for this 🙏🏼 I need to definitely focus on progress than perfection! Since at work I spent too long on everything got behind & suffered burn out 😔 ended up having 8 weeks off work during 2020 and getting in to bouts of depression! Here’s to improving my habits 🥰 thank you for this video!
I believe the more we demand perfection of ourselves instead of striving for excellence, we fall into an endless pit of self loathing at one point. Being mindful of one's mental health is as important as physical health. The sooner we understand this, the better it is. A big thanks for making such a beautiful and insightful video. And for putting these facts out there for the world to know and realize. ❤️
I actually love you right now. My perfectionism has been something that I used to think was gift, but it turned to a nightmare as I got older. Your video is literally what I needed this morning 😫🙏🏾💗💗
Hi Rowena, thank you!! This is exactly what I needed to hear. In theory, many of us know that perfection is impossible and often unhealthy for our mental health and well-being, but it is so easy to forget and then get lost in the chaotic habit of trying to be perfect out of fear that we are not enough. Lately I have definitely been suffering from pushing myself so hard and so far out of fear that I have been placed in my current circumstance because I was not enough to just inherently be in a "better place" in life. Needless to say, this has taken a huge toll on my mental health. Your video has helped me begin to snap out of it. So thank you, as always. Hope you're well!
henlo rowena!! idk why but i was on the verge of crying while watching this! back then, i was proud that i was a perfectionist but i didn't see the effects until i studied college. now im in med school and it's been debilitating me. not just in studies, but in also in other aspects like socializing. thank you for gently pointing out my faults and im now, more than ever, ready to accept that im not perfect and im just here, living for the ride 💖
Perfectionism manifesting as paralysis has been my life’s biggest challenge. I will spend hours on a work project, UA-cam video, or even on a relationship... and I’ll bounce out if I anticipate less than perfect results. And that’s even if I can get myself to even start! This was such a good video! I needed it.
I needed this today, thank you. I just yesterday had a breakdown about my job, the stress and my procrastination habbits linked to perfectionism. I have some work to do unpeeling this.
Yeah, Rowena is here 😊 Being too hard on myself is something I realized only 2-3 years ago, and I’m 52... Since then, I’ve been working on being kinder to myself, and realizing all I’ve done good in my life. Not perfect, but good. I will always remember when I watched Sharon Stone in an interview saying that she never got parts in movies or plays because she “overplaying” trying to be perfect. Her teacher told her she needed to play it down, and when she told herself she was good enough, she got the role in Basic instincts...
I think this is the best video you have ever made ! You are so clear and insightful and you have given me so much to think about. I wish I could have learned these things much earlier in my life, it would have saved me a lot of stress and pain. Thanks for sharing this information.
Out of all the inspiring videos I’ve watched from you, this one hits home for me the most. I’m just so glad I’m not the only one struggling perfectionism, especially with the things I enjoyed the most. So thank you Rowena, your efforts are always appreciated❤️ *here’s a virtual hug back uwu*
So true, Rowena. So very true. Thank you for this... I find that perfectionism has absolutely held me back from completing projects or disabled me from starting. PROGRESS OVER PERFECTION, I SAY!
Perfectionism has been a pretty big fault of mine since childhood. It has done me more harm than good in my productivity and self-esteem. Rather than being perfect, the better idea is progress/growth/evolution, focusing more on the process than the outcome. Because if you're perfect, there's no room to grow. Thanks for the usual wisdom and advice, Rowena.
I think what you explained about striving for perfection vs excellence is what makes it so hard for me to let go of my perfectionism, and also to understand how you can still progress without striving for perfection - because I didn't see there is actually a distinction between perfection and excellence. So thank you so so much for this explanation!! I hope it will help me going forward 🙏
Rowena just keep it in your mind that there are many very picky youtube subscribers (like me) who really like your videos. your videos inspire me whenever I watch them, not only because of the information, but because you sourself don't seem to be wearing any mask at all! I hope you have the will to keep on inspiring us all.
OMG! Honestly, you should do a podcast. So much wisdom in what you are saying and is speaking right to me. I could listen to it all day. It would be healing to me.
This video attacked me and I seriously love you Rowena, but while I’m still in school I feel obligated to be a perfectionist, I agree with your advice all the time but I find that I can be a mix of both and still somewhat enjoy my journey while doing things well enough, I think it’s a balance, and that reprogramming your motivation is sooo hard.
The hug 🥺 that was the sweetest end to a video thank u Rowena! Also your perfection/excellence comparison lists really changed how I see it - perfectionism is about other people! I’d never thought of it like that before. And remembering the “why” for excellence. So great 👏
Its so perfect and i can't hold my tears anymore🥺, its like i got the answer for my question that i have never ask, its like my sister trying to give me some comfort even though i dont have any sister, thankyou so much,it mean a lot for me :), and i hope u all have a good day❤️
I was literally up last night thinking “I don’t have to be perfect I don’t have to be perfect- just do the things!” and haven’t watched your videos in ages- here we are and perfect timing brought me your video. Thanks for everything you do Rowena :-)
I don't know why but whenever I'm watching your videos and listening to your talks, I always notice your simple make up and how it enhances your beauty ☺
im screenshotting the "done is better than perfect" and making it my desktop background! such inspiring and realistic insight. love ur channel thank u for all ur hard work!
This video was a slap in my face but it was SO IMPORTANT! As a perfectionist I've been suffering more and more every day trying to hide my fears in a "perfect work", and this was literally killing me. Amazing video and very helpful, thank you so much Rowena!
Quick reminder for the perfectionists out there - Just because you have watched this incredibly helpful video does not mean that you will start being a completely better version of yourself tomorrow! It won’t happen quickly. Jot these ideas and questions down and attempt to work on them one at a time, or if you want to work on them at the same time, just remember that you won’t be able to go super fast, take it slow and accomplish your better self one day, week, or even month at a time. - A note to myself
It is such a relieved that I found this video. "Progress over perfectionism". The most important thing is we get things done (before deadline for office/school (teacher) work).
I love this video so much! I can’t tell you enough how much I needed it in this exact movement❤️❤️ I love your idea of “seeing perfection for what it truly is,” and “progress over perfection” is something I’ve been constantly reminding myself:) thank you so so so much!!
Thank you Rowena, I needed this. Everything you said describes me, which i realised even before this video, that it sometimes paralizes me and I fall into self pity and get nothing done. But I will use this great vid to help me move forward, starting with affirmations and trying to distance myself from the people who trigger it!!! Love all of your videos but this one really hit home. ❤❤ To everyone else: You can do this!! Stay strong and remember progress is progress!!!!😙😙
Thank you so much Rowena. I've been feeling awful the past days, being unable to finishing a big project I'm working on and this is just what I needed. Thank you so so much!!!!
"When you're with ppl that are whitout a mask you feel the need to take off your own mask and be yourself "that was so beautiful.
Maybe not the best advice in times of covid-19... 😂
@@Toasttttttttt lol I was thinking the same thing 😂
@macronnieasmr ₛₐₘₑ
True dat
Not this year tho lol
Honestly, having a bunch of new information in every video isn't even that important because when it comes to self-development everyone needs reminders of concepts they probably already intuitively know. I think some repetition in your content serves it's purpose really well.
I completely agree with this. In the same way like advertising and parental pressure is repeated to us on and on , I also believe that we need reminder of other things as well
I actually appreciate that she takes time to think about sharing new information in every video, I agree with you that we need reminders, but personally speaking, when I see videos or read books, my brain always wants to get new info, it's like new and different food for my brain and spirit, I just can't imagine repeating the same info, over and over, it will be like chewing the same gum forever.
So, in conclusion I think @Rowena is one of the few influencers who actually takes the time to think about their audience and how to apport something useful to this universe instead of just thinking about the amount of views she can get like to many others who don't really care about the people.
So, thanks Rowena for sharing your knowledge and being so compromised with your goals of helping people. To me and I'm sure for too many others it makes a really good difference and that's why I follow her, cuz of her authenticity. That's a gift.
100% agree with you!
I HAVE AN ALL OR NOTHING MINDSET!! It's awful and it's present in EVERY aspect of my life. I'm trying to get rid of that black and white mentality because I know it is making me very unhappy
I relate hard on this. I'm also trying to get rid of this mentality bc its contributing to my overwhelm and anxiety.
SAAMEEE
@@itsmepristine I wish us both the best of luck!! I think we can get there, even if it takes a bit of time
@@leiah3524 im glad im not alone!!
Same 😣
That chart on “perfection” vs “excellence” was so on-point. Seeking perfection can be a road to frustration because it is so external focused. It is almost motivated by fear. Very useful video. Thanks for sharing!
That was my favorite piece! SO helpful!
It is.
My mom always says “don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.” Many times I lack the motivation to start a project bc I’m so obsessed with it going perfectly. But once you start, and try your best, the outcome should be good!
this is me trying to start some reflective essays which in reality which won’t take that long :(
I seriously need to start taking notes on all of Rowena's videos and just like.... STUDY what she has to say. I swear, Rowena is a MASTER of self-esteem and identity and productivity and becoming your best self... Such an inspiration.
I went out to buy myself a cute notebook to do this! I feel like it will stick way more if I write it down and carry her words with me
YES
Just remember no one is perfect 👌
I love that she's so honest about her own mistakes and experiences while bringing light to these real questions/ problems that everyone is so afraid to talk about. The mask analogy really is the reason why people are so disconnected from each other. Thanks for another nugget of wisdom Rowena! 💜
ua-cam.com/channels/W6Mhx_ZOXb4q0EkNywrNRg.html
you dont know how much i needed this, rowena. i'm a fresh grad who just started a contract job in a field completely unrelated from what i studied the past 3 years. 4 months into my job, i have recently been feeling 'not enough', as what you speak. With 0 knowledge and experience, i feel like my manager teaching me every step of the way feels like she's spoonfeeding me and rn i feel like 'if i was good enough i would be able to be better and help her out instead'. this made me feel super anxious and stressed as i open my work laptop every morning because i don't think im doing enough, but there's just only so much i can do. i want to achieve the very best, and if i don't i feel like someone will shoot me in the head (because its work, like it affects other people and not just me).
i admit that i always feel like i am inadequate in various aspects because of this. But after watching your video, i'll try my best to accept myself more, and just chill out :) done is better than perfect, being present and only focusing on what i can do to improve in the moment rather than what i can't change, i will try my very best to practice these mindsets to avoid feeling super anxious and stressed when there's no reason to feel so. thank you so much, rowena🥰
I was much more of a perfectionist when I was in undergrad than now. I used to have stomach issues from the anxiety. I used to shake when having to present in front of others. Now I’m in grad school. I still struggle with perfectionism. Grades do matter, because I would not even be able to be in this program unless I had good grades, at the same time, I have to realize at times, there’s only so far I can push myself. I do do well, but I have to accept that not every project I work on will come out 100% the way I wanted to. Recently I got a 90 on a big project worth 20% of my overall grade. Part of me was like “Yay!” And the perfectionist side of me was like, “what about that other 10 points though that I missed?” Sometimes there’s other things involved that we have no control over. I ran into technical difficulties that were unseen before the project (basically the software we were required to upload PPT slides messed with the format of slides so they did not come out well in some parts). However, it’s simply not my fault if a software that I didn’t make doesn’t work properly.
Sometimes we produce things that wow people and we feel is the best representation of who we are, and sometimes we still did good but the reactions we get can be different. I think what I try to strive for now, is that I simply gave it my all within the situation given. Sometimes that means putting myself first and taking the breaks I need. Some days it’s just ok to be tired and you just have to work through it and do what you can. Eventually I learned if we don’t put ourselves first, we burn out, and then we definitely won’t be able to do the things we strive for 100%. Ok that was a long ass comment but this is how I feel about this topic.
@Yeonjun Choi yes I get it and honestly today I still struggle sometimes. I think it’s kind of about changing your mindset though. Like obviously, I’m not trying to say go to the other extreme and not give a damn about anything and just do things without any care of effort, no. I still think we can strive for the best, but sometimes our best may mean that it will come along with imperfections.
I think the issue with perfectionism is that sometimes we get carried away with wanting to do very well and slip into obsession. I think that when we obsess, it can also really block our creativity because our thought process is being really cautious of making mistakes. Like I said, I still believe in striving for your best, but I think part of the inner work is to not like beat yourself up if you don’t get a perfect score or perfect whatever and come to the realization that often subtle imperfections are a part of everyday life.
holy crap dude. you totally put my thoughts into words.
@@pault9544 the part about creativity is really true. As someone known to have artistic skills whether in writing or painting, I just can't start and continue painting lines. I know that I can do better than that since there are works I did that turned out great! The thing that's pulling me back is what people think, and will think about me. Makes me anxious to the core, and I subconsciously doubt my abilities and cause myself a mental block
ugh perfectionism is my biggest crutch and source of anxiety
just like you, I also thought that perfectionism was a blessing in disguise - it only turned its ugly side to me only in the last few years when I had TOO MUCH to try to be perfect about, too much of the time. I've been taking small steps to try to also convince myself that "done is better than perfect" "no one is scrutinizing you to the same degree that you do" "you're your biggest critic" "your 'flaws' and 'imperfections' are part of what make you - *you* and special and unique"
but damn girl, it's haaaard haha
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Perfectionism is overrated!! You are enough just as you are💖💖💖 loved this reminder!
My “mask” has been on for most of my life. I don’t even know what I’m like without my “mask”. I’m working on finding out who I really am. Starting a bit late (I’m 26) and kind of sad that I spent my teens and early 20s hiding and not being myself
27 here, and if it means anything to you, I can fully relate to how you feel.
I hit rock bottom when I was 22 and spent many years after to get back on my feet. I also felt like I wasted so much time but then I realised 2 things. Every human being in every country and culture goes through a fase of finding them themselves. In simpler cultures this (adolescent) period can take 2 weeks, in more complex cultures like common in the west it can take years, and be very difficult. So what you're experiencing is hard, but not uncommon. Secondly I realised the odds are that I stil had 50 years left to live a life that suits me. You still have 2/3 of your life ahead of you too! It's not realistic to wish you've felt differently in your teens. Firstly, you can't turn back time. Seconsly, it's highly highly uncommon to go through that fase of finding yourself before you go to high school. It might seem like everyone around did, but they just have solid hard masks 😉 you're doing great! Congratulations on finding this path of self-discovery and enjoy the next 2/3 of you life! 💕
@@elainedejonge1851 I'm going through something similar. I'm probably going to have to change my major and start therapy. It's been steady downhill since highschool. I've always been too afraid to reveal to others what I really want, and tormenting myself with too much work in order to avoid decisions. I'm 23. Something tells me I'm not supposed to swim in so deep waters this young. Something's wrong here.
this came at such a good time, right now I feel so overwhelmed and have been procrastinating for the past 5 days, I feel so anxious and behind everything and don't have any energy. I don't want to go to uni or wake up. I stay up later than 3 am every night and take a lot of naps to escape reality. My relationships with people are great and I feel so fulfilled emotionally but achievement wise, I'm very insecure. I don't know what to do. Except to fix my sleep a bit I guess. Hmm. Hopefully we can start from there and feel better.
I feel the same 🙏🏼 take it easy & you’ll catch up, then be able to rest! or have a refresher break & start a cycle of healthy sleep
I used to be the same! I used to think that perfectionism is a strength, every time my bosses and colleagues would tell me or tease me about me being such a perfectionist I would pride myself with it until I realized it is not something to highlight. Humility is more important and I seriously think that it feeds your soul a higher sense of self than being such a perfectionist. Thanks for the reminder, Rowena :)
I was in the same situation!!! I'm so Grateful for this video and your comment!!!! Thank you so much!!
❤️❤️❤️
When you started to quote Brene Brown I knew this video was gonna be amazing
THIS CAME JUST AT THE RIGHT TIME!!! Recently, I've started noticing how my perfectionism trait is ruining my daily life. I would struggle with settling or starting something because I'm worried it won't be perfect!! Thanks for this video Rowena!!
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Holy shit, you've hit the spot! I always tried to be perfect: The perfect daughter, the perfect student, the perfect employee. Until I hit rock bottom a few months ago and decided to quit my job - regardless of what other people would say. And I feel so, so, so damn free! xD I'm now working in an easy going and not "well respected" job field. I'm not the best employee there and I love it 😂 I took a break from my perfectionism and it is the best thing I ever did for myself!
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That's exactly how I felt a year ago working a factory job abroad. I loved it. And language barrier prevented me from using my brain at work or talking about my future. It was paradise.
Perfection of excellence! I like that. It is about making things better in the end, not "perfect." The world is not perfect, and so are we. We just need to make decent improvements 🤝
Perfectionism is why I have a hard time creating when I love to create. I needed to hear these tips before bed and I'll be watching this video again tomorrow. Thanks so much for posting this. ☺️
same! i got super excited to draw at the weekend.. but when that weekend came, something is holding me back.
Omg same !
Same! I haven't drawn for months bc of perfectionism
I am always amazed and thankful at the topics you’ve chosen for your videos and their timing of it!!! I don’t know how you do it, but it’s almost as if you sense what people are going through and feeling; it truly is amazing! I was just thinking about my own habit of trying to be a perfectionist a few days ago and here you are, speaking about the very subject! Your videos are continuously inspiring and gives me good values as to who I aspire to become in the future. And just a little tip for you; repeating contents are not a bad thing. Most of the time, we all get caught up in life and forget about those important values and self-awareness. So please don’t put yourself down for worrying about repeating contents because you never know who you might be helping at the right place and time! Ok, I’m done with my little rant😅
I knew that I used to be a perfectionist and I honestly thought I fixed that. Yet there's been something holding me back and I just couldn't figure out what it was. I've struggled so much with trying to start things I know I need to get done, I've been procrastinating and so afraid of failure. Now I realize just because it's not as bad as it used to be, doesn't mean I'm 100% over it. Thank you for this video. Things have been tough recently and I think I'll end up coming back here a few times as a gentle reminder to myself. I really think it'll be a wonderful resource. Good luck going on your own journey with perfectionism! It might be a long road, but thank goodness it never has to be a lonely one.
I remember the first time someone called me a perfectionist and my reaction. I thought, "how can that be true? there is nothing perfect about me."
Honestly what’s so hard about perfectionism is that I do it without even thinking I am. If I ever have a goal or a task before I’m done being given directions, I’ve already got a plan to be the best at it.
Exactly what I needed 😭😭 "The main thing about demanding perfection from yourself & having perfectionism tendencies, is because you feel like you're inadequate in certain aspects of your life so you need to overcompensate by being perfect." Damn. That hit me hard 😅 thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences to us, Rowena! I love that you are so real. Truly inspiring and motivating! ✨
Okay but why is no one talking about how BEAUTIFUL her hair is?? The clip makes it look so elegant! 🥰 Great content Rowena. Thank you!
Watching your videos over and over again whenever I feel uninspired. And boom! It's like a magic. I want to be productive!
Rowena, I was really moved by the things you shared about perfectionism. I'm still learning and growing to accept who I am, just the way I am. Thank you for being vulnerable and real. I really appreciate your honesty and sincerity in this video. You're sharing a message that everyone needs to hear.
I’m so grateful for this video and I also noticed that one of the best parts of the viewing experience is that you don’t rush. You don’t rush your videos or speak so quickly we have to think too hard to keep up. Instead you are paced and mindful and that helps me stay mindful too
i read the title and never thought of myself as a perfectionist until i realized how many of these problems apply to me
Thank you for the "repetitive" video. It was just what I needed.
Learning to let go of a project can be so liberating. Perfectionism can be such a hinderance and holds us back more than it pushes us forward!
"Not realizing that outside looking in, you good." Actually, mama potato, you're the bestest!!
Damn. I didn`t realize until now just how toxic my perfectionism is for my mental health. I really needed to hear this. Love your videos! Thank you
This video came into my feed just in time. I was near breakdown because of the situation with remote learning, pressure from external sources and things at home. "Enjoy the journey," is a concept I need to work on right now. I, too, was raised to believe that I wasn't enough. Thank you for this inspiring talk, Rowena. This really helped me right now.
That side by side list of perfectionism vs excellence is a total game changer. Just owning how much I do for external validation instead of internal betterment is making so many pieces fit together in projects I have yet to see through because I'm so terrified of them being judged because they're imperfect and I'm still learning/growing. Awesome job, Rowena! Thank you!
Perfection is crazy when you think about it. People are so different that if we were perfect, nothing special about people would be noticed. I’m glad that seeing imperfections help us grow! 🌱 thank you for this video, it’s great to know that more people deal with outer vs inner issues.
I was literally just venting to my mom last night about how stressed I was and we came to the conclusion that I put all the stress on myself by being a perfectionist and that my perfectionism tends to hold me back. I want to actively change and develop better habits and this video is definitely what I’ve been needing lately.
jsyk: your videos are making a huge difference in my life and my mental health plus that hug at the ending
Thanks, Rowena! And thanks for the hug! 😊 I needed it! ❤
i was struggling so much with college and everything i have to do and this just saved me, as always rowena making my life better
i love how you just KNOW how i feel when i feel it. thank you, rowena
Girl, you don't know how much you have helped me❤️❤️❤️I feel so comfortable with you,I feel like it's my sister who is giving me advice ✨
All I can say is that you are absolutely amazing. Was having one of the hardest mornings of my life due to my "all or nothing" mindset, but now I feel like I can take on the day through baby steps and focusing on progress. Thank you so so much
Was thinking about falling asleep and then I saw your video ! Love this I always have to remind myself that done is better than perfect and usually perfectionism is an act of resistance.
My morning coffee, the rising sun and Rowena = best morning!!! ❤️🥺
It is really helpful and encouraging to me when I hear UA-camrs I look up to talk about their struggles when making videos. It makes me realize that I'm not a complete failure, that pretty much everyone feels these things, no matter how big or small. Also, "done is better than perfect" is something I need to remember. I have heard it before, but I need to actually repeat it over and over until I live that way.
THIS reminds me of Thandiwe Newton's Ted talk about " embracing myself" ! A must watch for everyone who hides themselves and wants to be seen as a certain somebody but not yourself
To future me: If you ever feel like you're not doing enough listen to this 15:01
i will forever be grateful for discovering rowena. as someone who has trouble getting through self help books, getting these messages through video has helped me IMMENSELY. thank u thank u thank u ro 😌💗✨
This video is gold 🌟 Thank you so much 🙏💖
So freakin relatable!! I still want to start my own YT channel and even received the vlog camera (you have as well) for my birthday in January. But my perfectionism and procrastination have been stopping me. I'm reading Big Magic right now and after this video I got inspired as well. Gonna make a start for realz now 😭!!!!
You're doing amazing Rowena!!! 🤩🥰❤️ have a great day.
Thank you Rowena! 💖 As a new UA-camr it's so refreshing and reassuring to hear you talk about your struggles with perfectionism, especially with filming! I can relate so much to feeling like you said nothing important, feeling more comfortable doing voiceovers than talking on camera, and having the sun go down before you've finished filming 😭 I've always adored your videos and you're a huge part of the reason I started doing UA-cam in the first place, so seeing you have the same struggles gives me hope. You are perfect as you are Rowena, I can't wait to continue watching your videos xxx
In the perfection vs excellence section I agree with everything except the "external validation" point. I genuinely don't mind what others will think of my end project, since you can never please everyone, but it's that what will I think of myself after being faced with the end result. I guess I'm just way too harsh when it comes to judging and evaluating things.
Every video IS a banger Rowena! Even if it was a casual vlog is STILL A BANGER!
thank you for this 🙏🏼 I need to definitely focus on progress than perfection! Since at work I spent too long on everything got behind & suffered burn out 😔 ended up having 8 weeks off work during 2020 and getting in to bouts of depression! Here’s to improving my habits 🥰 thank you for this video!
istg your beauty just slapped me in the face so hard, but i'm not complaining
thank you for these tips!! I just lost my job so I needed a boost of motivation 💕
Sorry to read this. Know you’re not alone and that people are rooting for you!
@@Magpiegiggles thanks you!
I believe the more we demand perfection of ourselves instead of striving for excellence, we fall into an endless pit of self loathing at one point.
Being mindful of one's mental health is as important as physical health. The sooner we understand this, the better it is.
A big thanks for making such a beautiful and insightful video. And for putting these facts out there for the world to know and realize. ❤️
I actually love you right now. My perfectionism has been something that I used to think was gift, but it turned to a nightmare as I got older. Your video is literally what I needed this morning 😫🙏🏾💗💗
Hi Rowena, thank you!! This is exactly what I needed to hear. In theory, many of us know that perfection is impossible and often unhealthy for our mental health and well-being, but it is so easy to forget and then get lost in the chaotic habit of trying to be perfect out of fear that we are not enough. Lately I have definitely been suffering from pushing myself so hard and so far out of fear that I have been placed in my current circumstance because I was not enough to just inherently be in a "better place" in life. Needless to say, this has taken a huge toll on my mental health. Your video has helped me begin to snap out of it. So thank you, as always. Hope you're well!
henlo rowena!! idk why but i was on the verge of crying while watching this! back then, i was proud that i was a perfectionist but i didn't see the effects until i studied college. now im in med school and it's been debilitating me. not just in studies, but in also in other aspects like socializing. thank you for gently pointing out my faults and im now, more than ever, ready to accept that im not perfect and im just here, living for the ride 💖
Being a teacher (in 2020) I REEEEAAALLY needed to hear this! Many thanks Rowena! 🙏
Perfectionism manifesting as paralysis has been my life’s biggest challenge. I will spend hours on a work project, UA-cam video, or even on a relationship... and I’ll bounce out if I anticipate less than perfect results. And that’s even if I can get myself to even start! This was such a good video! I needed it.
I needed this today, thank you. I just yesterday had a breakdown about my job, the stress and my procrastination habbits linked to perfectionism. I have some work to do unpeeling this.
Starting off w/ a Brené Brown quote... so you know it’s gonna be good 🤗
Yeah, Rowena is here 😊 Being too hard on myself is something I realized only 2-3 years ago, and I’m 52... Since then, I’ve been working on being kinder to myself, and realizing all I’ve done good in my life. Not perfect, but good. I will always remember when I watched Sharon Stone in an interview saying that she never got parts in movies or plays because she “overplaying” trying to be perfect. Her teacher told her she needed to play it down, and when she told herself she was good enough, she got the role in Basic instincts...
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You definitely help this 54 year old teacher have peace of mind! So grateful for you and what you share on this channel. Keep em coming!
I think this is the best video you have ever made ! You are so clear and insightful and you have given me so much to think about. I wish I could have learned these things much earlier in my life, it would have saved me a lot of stress and pain. Thanks for sharing this information.
Finally someone who can explain exactly what i'm going through and what i feel🙂
it is okay, actually it is excellence! all of your videos help me so much, regardless of whether they’re similar to previous videos.
Out of all the inspiring videos I’ve watched from you, this one hits home for me the most. I’m just so glad I’m not the only one struggling perfectionism, especially with the things I enjoyed the most. So thank you Rowena, your efforts are always appreciated❤️ *here’s a virtual hug back uwu*
So true, Rowena. So very true. Thank you for this... I find that perfectionism has absolutely held me back from completing projects or disabled me from starting. PROGRESS OVER PERFECTION, I SAY!
You did well, Rowena 😊
Perfectionism has been a pretty big fault of mine since childhood. It has done me more harm than good in my productivity and self-esteem. Rather than being perfect, the better idea is progress/growth/evolution, focusing more on the process than the outcome. Because if you're perfect, there's no room to grow. Thanks for the usual wisdom and advice, Rowena.
she always posts her videos right when i need them🥺❤
Thanks for being honest about how long it took you to make this video! That was some very needed salve for my own perfectionism. 😊
I think what you explained about striving for perfection vs excellence is what makes it so hard for me to let go of my perfectionism, and also to understand how you can still progress without striving for perfection - because I didn't see there is actually a distinction between perfection and excellence. So thank you so so much for this explanation!! I hope it will help me going forward 🙏
So timely. You can never know how much I needed this today.
Love that you shared your ride with perfectionism even within making this video. Vulnerable and brave. You’re awesome (innately)! 🙂
This is just what I needed to hear right now. Wow your timing is *peRfeCt* haha. But jokes aside, Thank you Rowena. Such a good video
This is/was so me. Still learning to let go of this but for me it's definitely fear and insecurity. I have major imposter syndrome.
Me too.
Rowena just keep it in your mind that there are many very picky youtube subscribers (like me) who really like your videos. your videos inspire me whenever I watch them, not only because of the information, but because you sourself don't seem to be wearing any mask at all! I hope you have the will to keep on inspiring us all.
I have been struggling with the same thing so much and this video just opened my eyes :( thank you so much
OMG! Honestly, you should do a podcast. So much wisdom in what you are saying and is speaking right to me. I could listen to it all day. It would be healing to me.
This video attacked me and I seriously love you Rowena, but while I’m still in school I feel obligated to be a perfectionist, I agree with your advice all the time but I find that I can be a mix of both and still somewhat enjoy my journey while doing things well enough, I think it’s a balance, and that reprogramming your motivation is sooo hard.
I've seen this video twice now. I truly needed this ❤️
The hug 🥺 that was the sweetest end to a video thank u Rowena! Also your perfection/excellence comparison lists really changed how I see it - perfectionism is about other people! I’d never thought of it like that before. And remembering the “why” for excellence. So great 👏
Its so perfect and i can't hold my tears anymore🥺, its like i got the answer for my question that i have never ask, its like my sister trying to give me some comfort even though i dont have any sister, thankyou so much,it mean a lot for me :), and i hope u all have a good day❤️
our grades just came out, i needed this talk. thank you.
i'm crying this video exist! thanks rowena :)
I was literally up last night thinking “I don’t have to be perfect I don’t have to be perfect- just do the things!” and haven’t watched your videos in ages- here we are and perfect timing brought me your video. Thanks for everything you do Rowena :-)
Thanks for the hug, Rowena. Really needed it even if it was virtual
I don't know why but whenever I'm watching your videos and listening to your talks, I always notice your simple make up and how it enhances your beauty ☺
im screenshotting the "done is better than perfect" and making it my desktop background! such inspiring and realistic insight. love ur channel thank u for all ur hard work!
This video was a slap in my face but it was SO IMPORTANT! As a perfectionist I've been suffering more and more every day trying to hide my fears in a "perfect work", and this was literally killing me. Amazing video and very helpful, thank you so much Rowena!
Quick reminder for the perfectionists out there -
Just because you have watched this incredibly helpful video does not mean that you will start being a completely better version of yourself tomorrow! It won’t happen quickly.
Jot these ideas and questions down and attempt to work on them one at a time, or if you want to work on them at the same time, just remember that you won’t be able to go super fast, take it slow and accomplish your better self one day, week, or even month at a time.
- A note to myself
It is such a relieved that I found this video. "Progress over perfectionism". The most important thing is we get things done (before deadline for office/school (teacher) work).
I love this video so much! I can’t tell you enough how much I needed it in this exact movement❤️❤️ I love your idea of “seeing perfection for what it truly is,” and “progress over perfection” is something I’ve been constantly reminding myself:) thank you so so so much!!
Thank you Rowena, I needed this. Everything you said describes me, which i realised even before this video, that it sometimes paralizes me and I fall into self pity and get nothing done. But I will use this great vid to help me move forward, starting with affirmations and trying to distance myself from the people who trigger it!!! Love all of your videos but this one really hit home. ❤❤ To everyone else: You can do this!! Stay strong and remember progress is progress!!!!😙😙
Thank you so much Rowena. I've been feeling awful the past days, being unable to finishing a big project I'm working on and this is just what I needed. Thank you so so much!!!!