Don't scream around children
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- Опубліковано 24 кві 2017
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All too often I find adults assume children are ignoring them when they are yelling & screaming, often patronizing to the point of "they don't know what we're talking about." Just because children don't react, doesn't mean they don't understand or absorb. It isn't about whether or not you are cursing or playing mortal kombat or watching an action movie. It is about the way you interact with your children.
"I was always beaten as a kid and I grew up fine" says an adult with anger issues
YeP-
"Just because you were abused as a kid, doesn't give you an excuse to abuse your kids"- someone on reddit who I aspire to be
My father was abused badly but he is the best dad I could ever ask for. I’m sorry that’s happening to you Noah.
@@dreamgal558 and the other phrase
I always helped my parents when I grew up key word I
I'm not you okay mom leave me to be happy I want to learn how to bake so yea if I don't finish school i can always be a baker okay mom?
Who gives there kid anger issues
whenever a kid does something wrong, their first thought should be "i'll call my parents!" not "i can't let my parents find out about this!".
I would just figure it out, i never trusted people with anything
@@thunderlifestudios i did the same in most situations.
When I was about 10-11 years old, I slipped on some ice and smashed my face and teeth. I was bleeding quite badly. My first thought was to go to the local store to get help rather than home to my parents. IIRC I thought they'd scream at me and scold me.
@@xucthclu aiden?
Mason Lewis mason?
There are adults who yell at children to release their own stress...I hate my father.
i hate reddit
If you can now, try to get into some kind of therapy or even talk to a school counselor. If you're scared of getting your parents into trouble like I was or can't go to counseling, make sure you do it when you're an adult
I understand how hard it is being so young and feeling helpless, get it taken care of as soon as possible. It'll help you when you get older, I've let myself be held back in life because I didn't want to help myself and want someone to do it for me or have no motivation
If you're a young man you should especially get help, men are most likely to commit suicide and often have issues expressing themselves. They think they can just force themselves to get over it or make themselves better with sheer will
It's okay to be hurt, it's okay to cry and it's okay to be a tough guy just make sure you get help now so you can not only heal but also not stunt yourself as an adult
@Joshua Fancher Same goes for you, and everyone else in this comment section. Make sure you get yourself help or counseling
@@a79919 Thank you for your input, but I should state that I'm 24 years old, and taking college courses.
This sort of business is something few others know about me.
At this point I have to play it safe as I still reside in his house. I'll seek therapy/counseling once I can move out and find myself in a "safe-situation". As for now, the only comfort I get is when he leaves for work for long periods of time.
@@YowLife Oops! 🤣 I understand what you mean, I'm in a similar situation. Hopefully you can get a good job with your degree and get yourself well needed help, I know how hard it is feeling like you're trapped. Even though there's not much I can do to help anyone, I hope you can take comfort in knowing you're not alone
"No such thing as bad children, just bad parents." -Fallout 3's Main Protagonist
it’s from a video game but it’s facts
And the bad parents were children themselves with bad parents.
I see you are a man of culture as well
@@Arctic_and_The_F0X to many games got true fax
Fr
If kids can pick up single curse words they can pick up arguments too.
Cue videos such as the "listen Linda" video.
Or just get ten times the beating
It's a fine line to walk. You want to be calm around your children, but they NEED to be exposed to conflict. Maybe not irrational yelling, but they need to know that conflict happens between people, and that resolving it quickly is the most rewarding way. If they aren't exposed to to conflict (and I suppose to a small degree even yelling), they may be shocked when it happens in front of them, and not know how to handle it. You don't want to shelter your children, or you just end up with a fragile millenial.
@Xev what does them liking kpop have to do with any of this?
Xev is respecting someone’s music taste just *that* hard for you?
Parents be like "Why don't you ever tell me anything?!?"
Kid: *tells them something*
Parent: *explosive_anger.jpg*
yyuammie my parents lol
Holy shit I'm 23 and still deal with this.
Kid: starts doing drugs
My relationship with my parents summarized in one post.
literally
Well-known divorce and child custody lawyer here. Just my two cents: a majority of the the people who need to see this video will not see it or if they do, they will not accept it as truth or acknowledge they are the problem. However, if just one adult sees this video and changes the way they approach how they deal with a child, it was worth it. Great message. Keep up the great work.
I'm gonna raise my kid to be hero gosh dammit.(still a teenager)
CockYaLegS fr
Lol don't listen to these fools pointing fingers instead of accepting they messed up.
@CockYaLegS Explain it.
@CockYaLegS Self-employ yourself lol
My parents know that the kids understand. But my step fathers theory is "well trauma makes it easier for children to adapt to the real world. They need some level of trauma." To me that's bullshit. You can teach your child to adapt to the real world without verbally abusing them.
if there's anything mp100 taught me, it's that trauma is never a shortcut to teaching someone to learn jfc
won't stop other people from doing it.
My parents said the same. Apparently destroying someone physical and mental health through an entire lifetime of abuse was "a gift I would thank them for one day" yea right. It ruined my life and all potential I had. I can barely even get out of bed I'm so unhealthy and sick all the time.
These parents had bad childhood as well and want their children experience the same instead of breaking the cycle
I still haven't adapted to the real world and I've been traumatized my whole life.
"Everyone knows how to make babies but no one knows how to make dads" - Stromae
This needs way more likes.
Any fool can give birth but only a real woman to be a mother.
Papaoutai
@@leaillex yes 👌👌
Papaoutai really got to me
Parent - *Constantly Screams and throws threats left and right at child
Also Parent - "Why don't you talk to me anymore"
damn must be hard for you kakyoin, you dont have many friends to talk to either
That’s what my said
F for you Kakyoin
Yeah fucking exactly.
exactly my mom
i remember my mom saying "we fight around you so you know what real relationships are like." and thats just telling me abusive and toxic relationships are ok, which they are not...
That’s sick. Take note on what a real *bad* relationship is like. You got this chief.
It's the "misery loves company" approach to Parenthood...
No lady, you fight around your kids because _you_ don't know what a real relationship looks like.
@GoogleCensorsTheTruth 34 what is it like to be such a miserable person that you call children morons on the internet?
grow up.
I think your mom was trying to say that fights take place cause like communication and other stuff but delivered it so wrong. The issue is a child won't look into things THAT deep and obviously theres an issue if the kid didnt see the parents make up and forgive
Fighting is not abusive and toxic relationship. Don't conflate the two
The sad thing is, the people who need to see this video will never see this video
This stuff should be an advertisement
@@grizzlyaddams3606 I guess you disagree huh
@@grizzlyaddams3606 I hope you don't talk to your kids like that
Because they're not open to these ideas... How can we become more open to dealing with our own issues? & How can we help others to be more open as well?
@@grizzlyaddams3606 I feel like you’ve never heard the saying “You don’t need to be a chef to know the food tastes bad”
Also psychologists and stuff exist
Kids aren’t stupid, they’re learning. They’ll soak up everything around them and behave to what they hear and see.
Kids are stupid in many ways. Often times they do things when taught not to. As a child I understood that putting my hand in a fire would be a stupid thing to do. Yet many of the other kids in my age group did plenty of said stupid things.
The fact is that they didn't learn by taking in information or by understanding simple logic. They learned not to put their hand in the fire by putting their hand in the fire. That's what makes a lot of kids stupid. The thing is. Enough times being burned for stupidity will occasionally make a stupid person think twice and grow smarter. And current modern politics proves that many of those children didn't grow smarter at all.
There are a lot of things children don’t understand; they’re children after all. But they have a unique sensitivity to the unspoken and the emotional like most adults do not. Also Aron, if you make your last name a period it does not show up on your account name.
Yeah we are not stupid. I'm just a self aware ten year old. Yelling doesn't heal my zits or get rid of my TTM. Doesn't do anything but make me sad even though i was being forced to do something I don't want to do.
Kids aren’t intelligent but they are smart
i mean they do swallow detergent and watch tik tok lmao
Most people do not realize that most of the world’s problems can be solved by raising children competently
3ds max exactly!! It’s not for everyone and that is totally fine
3ds max yeah I think the issue there is stupid people don’t use protection and then they’re the ones who end up with kids 🤣🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
The western world pushes a narrative of
Graduate get a job get married have kids and they will do the same and then you die
It’s not a lifestyle for everyone.
3ds max - Right, if you’re not going to treat your child right, then don’t have any.
@3ds max especially the people that like to pop one out every month. There's no reason what so ever to want to have 15 kids.
You know what I do whenever my parents yell at each other or fight for no reason? I pick up my little brother, go outside or to the other room, and try to distract him as much as possible. Since he is still a child, I would do anything to not let the screams of my parents get to him. I can see it in his eyes how scared and confused he becomes. And I always promise myself that I will never grow up to be like them. Never.
hey, i hope you and your brother is doing okay..
Literally me but with my cousin. He's now more open to me about stuff than even his own parents. I can tell that he appreciates me doing it. Keep doing what you're doing man, good shit
god fucking dammit i wish i had someone like you as a kid i do know thank god but i feel like if i had her sooner i’d be different
ahhhh i feel you. same thing with my mom and her bf and her ex (my dad) and i have a little sister that i try to get away from all that. i don’t want her to grow up like how i did.
I go on my computer and play it’s gotten better tho
My mom was a bully to my dad. Constantly insulting his intelligence and talking shit about him to me and my sisters. And we believed her.She made him out to be the bad guy. Often in fights she would accuse him of being abusive, but my dad never touched any of us. I remember him trying to calm her down and reason with her and my mom threatening to call the police because he was abusive. Once I realized that my mom was not being good to me I realized all the fucked up things she did to my dad. I feel guilty for ever believing that my dad was the bad guy, when he’s the biggest victim out of all of us.
what a devil she is. disgusting. i feel sorry for you.
I can relate to your situation a lot 😔 hope your dad is in a better situation now
This is a very jesse lee peterson story. I'm really glad you shared. It's usually that dynamic that drives one or the other to do such insane things.
Both my parents are like that to each other 😬
Did you ever have the opportunity to talk to your father about it? You probably have, but I know he would appreciate it a lot. There are too many unfit parents in the world. Maybe I should be glad I haven't had the opportunity to risk somehow becoming one of them.
"Don't scream around children"
My parents: *Going super saiyan while i try and tune it out*
Relatable
mom: *walks out to the garage*
little kid me: o shit it’s time to put a chair up against my bedroom door and curl into a ball yippeekayaye
I can relate
XD
There go blue
A kid won’t fix your broken marriage
I did. I acted as a therapist for my mom. Without me they would have probably been divorced. Now we're happy
Minx Fur r/madlads
@@kedamono8616 We are very proud of you. You did better than so many in your position.
@@kedamono8616 yes, but putting all that baggage on a kid isn't healthy either, anywho, good for you for helping out.
@@headintheclouds7905 yeah, I do think it took a little bit of a toll on me but I can handle it
it's annoying when your parents tell you something and you reply "ok", then they say "don't you "ok ok" me!" wtf am i supposed to say? yes sir?
usually parents like mine(of course, both of them, yikes) always think they're high and mighty, we children must address them properly like :
"yes, mom."
"i listen and obey all your words, mother."
yes, that's what my mother told me how to reply to her.
Sean William :D i thought i was the only one it’s so weird and honestly infuriating 😭
@@iman7026 haha pretty sure there are a lot of people who have the parents like that
Sean William :D true, unfortunately
@Aura Darkskipper lol that's really weird, isn't it?
My dad was a shouter when I was a kid. He used to get into these insanely loud and terrifying shouting matches with my mother. I remember being 5 and feeling like it was an earthquake. To this day I don't trust either of my parents to be close to me emotionally.
Relatable i think its also the fact that some parents just because they spend money on children they have a right to be abusive both physically and emotionally
I can relate thanks for sharing!
When I got older and was going through personal issues , and they could see it and they would ask me to tell them what's going on, and that "I could share with them" I will never share jack shit with them. I'm so mentally fucked up because of them. I grew up in a bilingual home and the first words I remember speaking in my mother younger were curse words
Warning rant: I just need to get this off my chest.
My nephew (via marriage) is in this position... my partner and I can't build up any relationship with him, because whenever he's near us his parents FLIP out, particularly my SIL. She yells at him about __everything__! Even when it's very hot, he's not allowed to cool his feet off, if he so much as has the sniffles. BUT there are never any consequences-there's no difference between him running in the street and splashing water in the garden. Just yelling. He never gets positive attention. My SIL yells at my BIL and constantly undermines him. So my BIL isn't allowed to take him anywhere alone. So he doesn't he only takes his sons to their grandparents as soon as he has to actually "deal" with them. My BIL and SIL constantly yell at each other-- not helped by the fact that my BIL is not neurotypical. My SIL is neurotic--she cleans the house from top to bottom every 2 days, but she doesn't play with her kids--she doesn't snuggle them or sing to them. Neither does my BIL.
We always have to make special accommodations for them, because they scream and embarrass us in front of the neighbors. I don't want to go out to places with them for the same reason. At 4.5 years old my nephew can't actually speak--he just parrots what other people say, or he'll say mean things. He can't use the toilet, he's _still_ in diapers. He is so insecure and wants to get other people to yell, so that he can see that his parents "are normal". Their pediatrician said that he is not hitting important milestones and so his parents switched doctors, because they refuse to believe that they are damaging their son. Now his younger brother is approaching the "terrible twos" and he'll start being yelled at. It is freaking tragic. I feel so helpless. :(
Edit: formatting
Relatable. My father used to (and still does from time to time) shout at me for the most banal things because he's a bit of a perfectionist, and me being clumsy. Couple of years ago when my aunt lent me to drive her car before I bought my own car, I went to drive around the villages in my area, and I scratched the front of the car somewhere. I was too afraid to tell him because he will yell at me, but he ended up noticing it and he yelled at me to the point that I was in tears and almost destroyed my driving license. Thankfully my aunt scolded him, and he apologized to me afterwards. I know it was my fault not telling him, but from my past experiences I was too afraid to tell him because of past experiences.
I'll NEVER raise my kids the same way my parents raised me
Neither. I drilled that into my 4 siblings.
make sure you don’t accidentally do 180 and do the complete opposite of what your parents did, because in my expirenev the opposite of something bad usually ends up being equally bad. For example my parents were raised in a very religious & strict environment, their parents were always watching them and gave them no free will as they were always kept on a tight schedule. So my parents raised my 4 siblings and I in a way that I consider to be the complete opposite during our childhood and teen hood there was absolutely no rules, no regulations and no structure.....sometimes it felt like we didn’t have parents at all just to adult friends that never seemed to be around...and well in the end almost all five of us turned out to be highschool drop outs, criminals and druggies.
Anyway If you do end up having children, then I suggest you try and find a happy medium...don’t let your trauma blind you to reason, I’ll try my best too.
Same
@@donni6315 Same shit happened to me other than my parents didn't do 180s on the actual abuse parts. No rules, no nothing, other than extremely high expectations, but still physical and mental abuse and parentification for ages.
Always good to remember you can have an entirely non strict household that still enforces some schedule and healthy interaction between parents and kids. Growing up without any routine, schedule, or parental figures (aside from those I grew to distrust) was shit.
Never say never
What they think they're teaching:
-how to behave
What they're actually teaching:
-how to listen to footsteps
-how to lie on the spot
-how to fake signatures
-how to manipulate people into claiming down
-how to run on 4hours of sleep per week
-how to suppress your emotions
This is what my dad taught me to do
If you have kids people, End the cycle, no violence, no controlling behaviour. Do what your parents failed to do which is to create a safe environment for your kids so they can talk to you and therefore be more honest.
damn i never realized that this is what I've learned too
My childhood in a UA-cam comment
training some spies
kids are sometimes like macbooks, from the outside it looks okay, but when you open it up, you find all the problems.
Great analogy but dark lol
Mac book took that personally
You really thought you did something huh
Lemon-Moron me too bro
Please don't open kids
If you don't act like a parent, your kid will most likely grow up on the internet OR other people. Now having a child grow up on the Internet can have really good things come up out of it, like more information and better understanding of the internet (for like jobs), but this should never be a reason to neglect your child
You basically described my life
^
That's basically all of my friends and I. We're doing pretty well in chem now bc of those random ass ted talks and crash courses we liked in the past (they had nice voices).
This is insanely true. I was curious on how computers work, and now im studying computer engineering
That being said, being grown on the internet can have very bad things as well, like social awkwardness, not being able to choose what career due to so much information, anxiety towards real life problems, shortsightedness, lack of in person interaction, lack of real world expirience in general. There can be exceptions tho
This dude is fixing a lot more than electronics here
Facts
@@thebluedot4728 lol, you think these people who scream outside in front of people are gonna listen to what he has to say? Those are the kind of people that would scream back at you telling you "HOW DARE YOU TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY CHILD!!!".
Damn right, this dude is not your average repair man.
Ok not saying you should yell around your child I'm saying just that hiding the fact that your realtionship isn't perfect from your child will result in a unrealistic expectation for there future partner
@@tannisandcooking9378 Or it will teach them to avoid broken people.
Parent: why don’t you tell us anything?
Child: *tells parent something*
Parent: *goes on one hour rant about how the child’s opinion is wrong and the child has no right to feel this way because they are too young*
Exactly. You say anything and it backfires. You don't say anything and you're scrutinized. There's no third option.
“What do you have to be depressed about” - My “ parental guardian “ after screaming in my face for almost 2 straight hours.
This is why I dont even talk to my parents about personal issues anymore. I tell them that the way they raised me was wrong(I got hit alot growing up) was wrong. Then they get defensive and say crap like "you are who you are becauss of ME!" Parents take credit for their kids success, but will never acknowledge their mistakes.
@@angelgjr1999 *"you are who you are becauss of ME!"* I wonder how many parents who thinks like that knows that it means that they're also one the reasons that their child is broken.
Aka because they are aware of bad consequences.
I am a father of 8 children - you convicted me. You are a good man and your voice is important- if not for your audience- for their most precious treasures. I didn’t expect this from a cat owning apple technician- I am humbled and grateful.
this makes me happy
"cat owning apple technician" is such a hilariously misleading yet accurate description of Louis.
Why 8 childern? 1 is enough, 2 is okay and 3 to much for somebody to being well off, cash wise. Above 4 and you can never treat your childern emotionally equally. But its your life, anyways.
Why 8? Why even 1? I appreciate you treating them "well", but why birth them in the first place? That is so selfish.
What do you mean he "convicted" you? Does that mean you were in jail?
"Don't scream around your children"
My parents: *We're gonna pretend like we didn't hear that*
my parents: we're going to go scream at each other in the next room so we don't hear that
Subham Roy I hate that I laughed at that
I grew up this way. I started my teaching career yelling the same way. I didn't realize it was a problem until my bosses and coworkers called me out. I still don't think it's a big deal, but I'm willing to avoid yelling as much as possible.
Microbio S kinda ignorant of you
no cap
making your kids walk on eggshells is child abuse
Angelo Haney Thank you
Why dont they clean said eggshells up? Jk just making a joke
this is why i am never having kids. they are a big deal.
I wish my parents had the same thought pattern you have..
I've never understood what walking on eggshells meant.
People underestimate kids. Kids are stupid at times, but they're not braindead.
@3ds max you need a nap
3ds max Ok boomer
This, and they'll probably tell you what you want to hear especially if you yell often. They don't want to disappoint you, at least under like age 12.
3ds max
Crazy thought. What if we believed in each other for the betterment of everyone. What if the old taught the young, and vice versa.
What if we tried to understand one another and be out for each other's wellbeing instead of destruction?
Instead of laying constant blame, whining and insulting we were kind to each other. And would give advice like a loving mother or wise father would their sons and daughters? Or caring friend to friend?
Just a crazy thought.
3ds max shut up boomer
I’ve always hated when people talk to kids in high condescending voices. I know they mean well, but it’s just unneeded and cringey. Even worse, people will talk that way towards someone with special needs and it drives me crazy.
Ooof ikr. I literally see people talk to people with amputated arms or legs in that squeekey voice. Like sis what. Also I really love it when children talks about their hobbies (especially girls talking anything remotely outside dressing up, make up, dancing, etc) and suddenly adults will change the topic into something stupid (also in that stupid squeekey voice).
@@bruhbruh5948 when I was that age, most people around me (children too) hated that. We weren't scared, we just felt like they thought we were stupid. It made us frustrated.
@@bruhbruh5948 kids think you find them stupid or just a kid not worthy to talk with, that's piss them off lol. Plus if you talk to a kid like that, they might have later some troubles speaking
@@bruhbruh5948 just talk to them like with everyone else, a normal voice
I've had the privilege of growing up in a loving household with level-headed parents, but it seems like almost everyone else in my area is part of an abusive family and it's honestly sickening. I've been going to this dance studio for about eight years now, and the mothers who like to use their kids' extracurriculars as social hangouts constantly gossip about how awful and annoying their kids are, whether it's behind their backs or right in front of them. Literal toddlers are yanked by the arms and yelled at on a daily basis. The threat of beatings is commonplace; often mothers discuss the various objects they like to chase their children with and/or throw at them.
The topic is even used for comedy. Last week, the co-owner of the studio got mad at her nine-year-old daughter because she didn't want to take this class and eventually got so fed up that she yanked her out of the room. I nervously asked my friend if she thought she was going to hit her, and she giggled a little and said, "Oh yeah, probably," followed by a few more giggles from the girls around us. Then she said, "Yeah, my mom always says she's going to beat me, but when we get home we just laugh it off. Now if my DAD says he's going to beat me, then I'm in big trouble!" The girls around us laughed lightly as the co-owner came back with her daughter. The girl was rubbing her cheek and wiping tears out of her eyes, obviously having been slapped. It wasn't nearly as bad as some of the other things I've heard her mother brag about doing to her (throwing shoes at her, beating her with one of those wooden spoons you stir pasta with), but it still was just so depressing to see. I've seen so many children talk casually about getting beaten and their abusers/enablers of said abusers joking directly with them about getting beaten, and it's horrifying to see everyone so desensitized and even approving of this behavior.
Another thing that I've noticed ever since I was very little was the threat, "If you don't stop acting up, I'm gonna call your daddy." Those words strike such terror into young children around where I live, and I never fully understood why until recently. Imagine being so terrified of someone you live with and see on a daily basis that you can go from bawling and screaming to completely stone-faced in a split second just to avoid him knowing you were crying. AT THREE YEARS OLD.
And it's honestly cowardly of me to not do anything about it. Here I am, preaching about how immoral and inhumane this all is, while I just sit and watch as a mother slaps her daughter repeatedly and violently on the arm for not handing her something quickly enough. But, and I know this is such a pathetic thing to say but I still feel like it has some merit anyway, what can I do? I'm a quiet, fifteen year- old girl whose family is an outsider because my parents are from the north; I'm not buddy-buddy with the teachers like some of my peers, I don't like causing conflict, and the adults are ridiculously stubborn, dense, and aggressive, who would probably beat all of their students if it wasn't against the law. I know this isn't about me, but I always feel like I'm walking the line between being too cowardly to take a stand against these people, and not having any of the resources needed to actually do that.
Anyway, my heart goes out to anyone who has ever experienced anything remotely similar to what I've described. It's disturbing to see how much child abuse is normalized in the southern US (or at least North Carolina, where I live), but hopefully gen z will be the generation that eradicates such disgusting behavior. Sorry for the literal novel I just wrote. I didn't realize how much I was saying until I looked back to check my grammar.
Honestly don’t know what to say besides “good comment”. You seem very self aware and as a youngin’ myself I think we just gotta learn as much as we can so when we’re adults we can use our knowledge for good. Sorry about the situation (I’m in a similar one, I see crap like that all the time). As long as you recognize what is wrong and right for now that’s the best we can do.
It is depressing. Some people just love to create conflicts out of nowhere.
I'm just over twice your age, but I can imagine being in your position reading this and it's both heart-wrenching and infuriating. If people were saying those things around me then I don't think I would be able to keep quiet, and I'm normally pretty introverted. The reality is that it's often impossible to intervene in other peoples' personal affairs - there's no legal precedent for it and most people would tell you it's not your place to do so. But the empathy driving this desire to just _do something_ is something I find very relatable.
Cowardice is a strong word, and I feel like if I was seeing violence in front of me then I would actually be compelled to step in somehow (as I have reacted to things in the past) but at the same time I do know how you feel even though I'm (supposedly!) an adult myself. Sadly I think it's something that is not liable to change on a broad scale in the immediate future, it's likely as old as human history. As long as you do the best you can for the people you know and love, that might well be enough.
Sadly there's only so much we can do for others, but I think what you can do is question this. Not agree with it. Not giggle a long (although I doubt you do).
One day many of these kids will realise how much they were hurt... or start acting like their parents. Perhaps you can be a voice of different perspective that they one day will recall while thinking, and maybe it can help them see.
Although I have to point out that such behaviour (like joking about abuse) is also a form of coping to victims of abuse many times, especially if it's a cultural thing, it's something you can bond over and it becomes a way to process it at least to some degree...
I remember those stiring spoons
A lot of people (Karen) say “don’t tell me how to raise my kids” this guy isn’t telling you what to do when you are raising your kids, he is telling you why what you are doing is wrong. Two totally different things.
Totally, it's not telling you how to raise your kids. It's telling you how to raise a human
@LG 96 thats called the gamers group
Yes, I know a person like that. Those people are inherently selfish and always make the conversation about them.
we aren't here to fight,we are here to understand us
6 to to to to to to to to to ⁶
My parents kicked me out, before I graduated high school.. years later, they want to know why I never come see them..😂😂😂
Thats fucked up man. But as long as youre doing better now then thats ok. Thats good.
Similar. I have no answers.
You were still a minor? That's illegal of them
Me the same they kickt me out and call me all the time to say why u never vissit us cant explain wtf is going on in the head of them
fuuuucking saaaame. Then to add insult to injury; grandma wouldn't let me stick around if I couldn't pay rent... guess who couldn't get a job.
Not only should you not yell anywhere near a child, you should never speak negatively around them. Especially if you talk crap about your spouse around them. As parents, it is your job to help your child and resolve any problems they might have. Not to create the problems yourself
Exactly. And talking shit about your partner makes children feel like they have to choose a side, that they have to like one or the other, or their relationship with one of the parents will be compromised. It does also appear very self-centered too, when your child constantly hears you talking shit about another person instead of asking them about things that concern them.
This video reminds me of a quote I heard once about verbal child abuse. It was something like "I may not remember what you said, but I remember the way you made me feel".
I heard someone at work say this
“Strict parents make sneaky children”
I mean.. I know how to lie on the spot now 😂
I tell this to my parents all the time. They pretend like they know everything that goes on in my life. Nope! Not at all 😙
Spongebob Squarepants Same
True
@@Cherry.pie1 sameee
He is more angry at parents then he is at Apple, and it speaks volumes..
Ulquiorra Cifer i love you
Oof that made me laugh kinda
You are fully correct... Damn it... Now I remember the time when my mom almost left us during an argument between her and my oldest brother... I was maybe scared and afraid for unknown reason...
@@genderlesstoast6633 but is completely true
Ulquiorra Cifer *bad parents
“But I turned out all right.”
Oh really. Did you?
Yeah, i managed to meet and make a good impression on a ambassador, How? By having a strict mom beside me.
@@bigtwins5496 ua-cam.com/video/2q35PgSXhKg/v-deo.html
@@bigtwins5496 this video isn't even about strict parents, you ok dude?
I like to go back to the “Rock Egg Ice” (name by me) analogy when people say stuff like this (if someone would like to know what that is then I’ll be happy to explain)
@@bigtwins5496 making an impression on a corrupt public servant is your biggest accomplishment, that's tuff buddy.
My dad: *sleeps all day and drinks*
Also him: Why dont you appreciate me!? I do all the work.
OH HECC--- same ._.
it fucking sucks
and it sucks even more here cuz whenever they say that "WHY DONT YOU APPRECIATE ME MORE??" just makes me feel like shit. bc it makes me feel, as a child who was brought in this world by them, that i should be more appreciative towards them but its fucking hard cuz wth am i supposed to be appreciative for?? u slack off all day and fight with each other when u can for the most pettiest of reasons that i wanna just avoid this place and you if i can TT aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I felt this 😥
I could smell the fucking alcohol from this post
My significant other has parents EXACTLY like this. And they also say how my partner is a worthless and useless pig.
@@grizzlyaddams3606 you dont know other peoples situations. why do you go around fucking insulting people and talking about your own unrelated experience? wtf?
Parents: *Yells at me*
Me: *Yells back*
Parents: Why are you yelling at me?
A quote that i like is "children are the mirror of the family, he reflects the moral purity of the parents"
"don't talk back"
I deadass always yelled back and not realize it. I am stupid smh😔
My g you have the biggest pair of balls ever, I don’t have the guts to do that because I know I’d get screamed at then grounded
When I was 7, ( 20 now ) my parents used to slap me with a belt and say "Does God like your actions!?". And I replied with; "No!". They thought I was talking back so they hurt me more :L.
*Parents who cannot recognise their own flaws are the worst parents of all*
Especially when the reason is their lack of brain cells
Aedrim and regular morality
Isn’t that every parent?
My mom couldnt admit when she was wrong so i just didnt listen to her
@@FrogEnjoyer17 no.
Please parents listen to this man, my parents screaming and emotional abuse ended up causing me to have multiple chronic illnesses from stress at an early age. They had unresolved trauma and serious anger issues and would take it out on my and my sibling a lot, trust us we do notice it
My dad literally said to me at 4 years old, while I’m crying and he’s yelling at my mom over some bullshit , “This isn’t about you!”. Like dude you just proved right then and there how much you don’t care about how other people feel period.
"Don't scream around children"
My parents: *yelled at eachother every single day until I left the house*
I assume they are divorced now....?
Oof, sounds like you were treated as the problem for them :(
or are you impling that since you moved out you are relieved that you no longer have to hear yelling? :)
In anyway, I hope your life is better! God bless you!
relate
i feel this
It made me feel like I was the problem
I came here to have my Macbook repaired. I left with my childhood trauma having closure.
Good for you man!
floyd willis Lmao, same
@David Sinca when you really want to mention that you have a laptop that is superior to an apple product
Now that's what I call added value.
Life is beautiful brotha👌but also horrible
My mom yelled at me for not making her a sandwich when i told her there was no bread...... Even my grandma has admitted she doesn't like her own daughter 😀
I'm so sorry for you :( I wish you the best because you don't seem to be a bad person
I’m so sorry you have to go through this. Also, love the profile pic 😅
"Don't scream around children"
Jacksepticeye: *Sad Irish noises*
funny irish man screams with funny and makes ya happy :D
Yikes
Parent: *insults you, screams at you,...*
Also parent: why do you never talk to me? :(
Bruh. My ENTIRE childhood/adolescence/teenage years.
I can relate to the screaming part more than the first part
Why does this also fit with dio
Poor Dio is ranting about his father.... ):
@@benjaminjenkins2384 remember dio's father
Parents: why don’t you tell me anything? Oh, it must be those damn phones.
It might be that I feel like my feelings aren’t valid
eternal fire13 I’m here with you. 😔 Our feelings are very valid even if it doesn’t feel like it
Parents: whats the problem?
You: You
Parents: *deflects responsibility or gets defensively angry*
_Two weeks later_
Parents: whats the problem?
You: ...
Parents: you don’t tell me anything :(
Oh my god Becky That’s literally what my dad did on an extreme level and it fucked me up for years even when I stopped living with him except he caused the problems
@azfadel very true, some people dont want to be shy but they are scared of what other people think
I'm 16, i have anxiety and maladaptive daydreaming because of my mom. Idk what to do, she hurts me so much sometimes, but i still love her and grateful for everything she did for me. I'm really glad for kids who have healthy relationships with their parents. Just wanted to share with someone
Hope things get/are better for you
@@VertietRyper haha, that’s crazy. I’m 19 now. I don’t know if things got better honetly, I’m working now and I guess I have better relationship with her, but I’m depressed, at least I know how to live with it. Thank you for asking.
I hope you can get better!
You are spot on. I watched you and then found my 15yo son and told him he is the greatest gift God gave his Dad and I.
Take this from a kid that grew up around constant fights and arguments:
we notice
we know what's going on
we just don't know *why*
Isabella Malczynski and when you don’t know why, you assume it’s normal. And when you assume it’s normal, then you copy it. And then your children copy you. And it keeps going until someone Is the better parent.
My siblings act like they forgot about the spousal abuse the father did to the mother while blaming me for shits.
and we blame ourselves
jokes 101 i’m 13 and i am so sorry u have to go through this like i understand since i’m going through kinda the same but i really hope everything gets better
@@aquaticangel3380 True. The so-called "cycle of abuse". I'm so glad to be out of this toxic family system. I went completely No Contact with most of my relatives. And they can keep arguing about their toxic nonsense all they want. I won't be a part of it.
When a computer guy is better at psychology than actual psychologists
Atomix sadly a small portion of personality types pursue psychology leading to a bloated perspective that’s far too common.
Oliver Govrik Go on...
Oliver Govrik continue
Roblox JZ343 people who go into psychology are interested in people, people who go into vocational work tend to be interested in things. When your interested into different things you value stuff differently. People who are interested into people are mostly agreeable and has a high empathetic ability. Which creates a practice of work which has few different personality types with little variation.
Roblox JZ343 Louis is great because he’s very into things although has a sharp eye regarding reading people’s emotions and he has a clear and level way of communicating that’s direct and calming.
1,400 people scream at their children.
Every second in the world
_It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men._
- Frederick Douglass
@Precious Obaji ?? he knows what about being a man?
Precious Obaji But you brought it up so tell us your “research”. But we all know that “do your research” is an excuse for people like you.
@Precious Obaji Are you a female by any chance? If not, tell us what Peterson taught you and how it went when applied to your life.
@Precious ObajiI am good, trust that. There are no issues with me and I grew up with a deadbeat dad living in the same house as me.
I nearly became a pro soccer player by myself, was not driven to practice, no one came to watch games etc. didn't make it in the end. Now done with IT bachelors 5 years later with 3.3 ish GPA. no financial support so I worked parttime and now about to land 70K job in a month or two if all goes well with interviews and that. 24 yo atm(Norway)
I've watched JP but what he says is things I already realised as a youngin. Parents are not perfect, you got to get things on your own and don't play victim because you'll get no where with that.
Precious Obaji Baby girl who is a man?
Kids are total sponges that can pick up on things that aren't even verbal.
this is very true, my mom used to chew her nails all the time and i got it when i was super young
KitkatKate me tooooo bruh
Love your profile pic Servo
Yup. They repeat everything, too. Recently, my GF's little cousins repeated ALL the gossip their parents talked about all the other family members. Needless to say, instead of going to their Christmas, we decided to vacation in Florida instead.
@@borko8325 I gotta stop doing that then- thanks for that.
Unreasonably yelling around young children can so often frighten them and have long lasting negative effects on these kids as you point out Louis. While rude of the parents to argue like this in your store I agree it should not be happening period. These are definitely not good parents.
Unless you are a sargeant. There is no reason to yell.
Mexican and black household: 😐😐😐😐😐
Facts.
😂dysfunctional as hell as a family unit and we wonder why the community can be fucked up
Indian too
and white
haitian household LMAOOO
my mom: *goes through all my stuff, yells at me for not telling her my feelings, threatens to punch me*
also my mom: why don’t you talk to me anymore? why don’t you trust me anymore?
My mom actually rEAD MY FUCKING MESSAGES AND TOLD ME I CAN’T SWEAR AS A JOKE
@@Alex-sq8kh OMG MY MOM DOES THE SAME THING LIKE THE INTERNET IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN EXPRESS MYSELF BUT SHE GETS MAD AT ME LIKE BRUH ;-;
My mom goes through EVERYTHING on my iPad. You know how adults like to leave tabs open? Well, she does that when she looks on my devices. I even saw the google maps tab open... how do our parents distrust us that much?
@@Helddownlikegravityy Right!!! And they expect US to trust THEM!!! It irritates me so much.
Lol welcome to abusive parents :'(
"children do not want to be a burden to the people who support them." This is so unbelievably true
Ye that's how I feel...
Ben Lawson yeah, but they just are inevitably a burden and cause problems, but we shouldn’t treat them like a burden, and they don’t want to be a burden, but can’t help it, I’m realizing adults have major issues with children being children whether not paying attention, getting their clothes slightly dirty to filthy, having no attention span, being obsessed with cartoons/games, not liking school, breaking things, etc. I would say I understand where this comes from, because we have forgotten our childhood and who we were back then
no its not true
I remember that always being my one huge fear. It's what I feel led to me having such bad anxiety, cause I always felt like a burden as a small child so I unconsciously dedicated my time to my friends through my teenage years to make sure they didn't think I was a burden.
@@colorblindgiraffe8114 Not eating alot, or finishing all your food and even eating food that was probably past expiration. Never asked for anything even though I may have needed it (feminine products) I'd make it last as long as humanly possible. Didn't bath much (cause we were poor) to avoid using alot of water. I remember when school happened, I'd pick up every pencil I saw on the floors, not really use my school supplies so I could have it for next year, "borrowed" a handful of library books cause I used to love reading. Kids do alot to do what they think will help their parents, especially to not feel like a burden.
Guy: "Don't scream around children"
Me: *Laughs in Asian*
*laughs in Hispanic*
Me: ESTATIC IN AFRICA
lol
Laughs in Spanish: Jajaja Jejeje
Full on mexican bar in here.
Me sitting here with PTSD and Depression caused by my childhood: *He right tho*
children are born with brain damage.
@@Bewefau what
@@Bewefau so you then, I guess, cuz that made no sense 💀
@Jessie James Troll
my crippling social anxiety and emotional dissociation: explained
Yeah... as much as it pains me to say it, I think a lot of my problems stem from the fights my parents had when I was a child. I still love them and I know they love me, they’ve also not been getting into loud fights as much as they used to. Still though, the damage has been done.
Here at 69 likes
@@soulthesassyassassin3616 same
Trust issue, misunderstanding, and and anti-socal (plus more self-doubt)
i feel like i have social anxiety but my mom told my sailing teacher: "oh she has social anxiety, *just normal (age) year old things!* "
like bro what
i swear just because you want and can have children doesn't mean you should
Thank you
Omg your pfp 😍😍
One of many reasons I've chosen not to.
Yeah we should have parental license /s
Rosie_ Right ugh
my dad is also like that even when i was young he would talk to me the same way he talks to adults.. hes voice is so friendly thats why i open up to him more while my mom on the other hand always yells at me.. there is no day that would pass by where she wouldnt yell at me.. that caused me to be distant to her..
my set of friends when i was a child even until now is mostly boys. i dont get along well with the other girls. and im thinking maybe because i dont have a great relationship with my mother thats why i always act reluctant to the other girls.
i was sexually abused by a 30 year old guy when i was 14.. and was also sexually harrased by a 25 year old guy when i was 12.. by that time i already live seperate from my dad coz my mom broke up with him. we dont talk to each other a lot like how we used to back then. the abused i received from the other men made me fear sex.. i fear being too physical or too clingy even on my male friends.. but that doesnt make me hate all men. And im thanking my dad for that. because i have a good father figure when i was a child, even if i received abuse from other men.. i still think that " not all men are bad" thats why i could keep my friendship with my male friends. i have this thought process that i always associate good men with my dad and i always associate shitty men with that assholes who used my body.
sorry for long comment i just thought i should share it coz its appropriate on the topic. and forgive me for some grammatical errors im an asian hehhe.
Holy sh!t...
Can't even say anything except I hope you're doing fine now.
I hope you are doing well my friend❤
When he said that other people can see that you have a bad relationship with you parents and take advantage of that it explained A LOT about my childhood. Damn
bro I hate it when they say, "stOp smArt tAlking'. Like bruh I'm giving a logical answer 😑😑
Tame Doggo lmao, my parents keep saying have to learn everything in the world. Like wtf, the moment I say, “there’s no way a person can learn everything in the world” my dad yells, “ stop being a smart ass!”
Don’t they want me to be smart 🤔
and then when you actually use a logical answer thwy say “my house my rules” or “im your mother and because i said so” because they know im right and dont want to be proven wrong
★Zoechu★ my moms asian
And then they're like "do you pays the bills?
Can't relate I never talk
Your children are their own individuals, not your carbon copies.
I hate when my parents would always be like "when I was your age I--" and in my mind id always be like "well I'm not you okay??"
@@portgasdann3389 Hit them with the "I'm sorry for being myself" card
My mom’s always like, “Why are you so quiet, when I was your age, I had lots of friends and talked to much.”
@@limink7558 "Because you're not me, mom"
@@portgasdann3389
They aren't telling you to be like them. They are saying, that you are being lazy, and not doing the productive things you COULD be doing.
And in vast majority of cases, they are absolutely right.
Bruv unintentionally became a therapist. I’ve been fortunate to have great parents, but I’ve known those who haven’t been lucky unfortunately. And all the points in this video are spot on.
Dad: *hasn’t been in my life, might as well have left*
Mom: *focuses on being happy all the time while putting me down*
Me: *can’t talk to either of them because they are the issue*
Sister: *abusive, aggressive, and scary*
Mom: you should rebuild ur relationship with ur dad and sister!
Sister: *still mean to me, only nice to mom*
Dad: *just wants my mom to think good of him*
Mom: You should have lunch with ur father, it’s the LEAST you can do for him!
Me: *nods and agrees, knowing that my opinion won’t matter to her*
Mom: wHy ArEnT yOu TaLkIng To Me?
Me: w h
Most cartoon characters have better families than real people.
Animals too
@@SaoirseVisceral Even living objects.
*NARUTO CRYS*
Aheago Man I was just about to comment about him 😂 you beat me to it!
HyperSonic if you exclude anime characters
I have no idea who this guy is but I already respect him more than people I've spent years with.
Agreed.
Me too.
Facts
Same, this is the first video I've seen from him.
-Scout- the Invincible same
“Just because your child does not bring up what bothers them, does not mean that something is bothering them”
most simple and true thing in the video.
Someone should have told this to our parents when we were young.
At first kids will feel stressed or sad when they hear their parents argue. But once the kid becomes annoyed or desensitized to the parents argument that is a sign that they no longer count their parents at a high regard anymore. They will think their parents are just bad people. And the child will likely never be interested in a relationship with them anymore when they grow up. This happened to us. Honestly we still contact one of our parents out of obligation. Obligation to God not to him. (we're Muslims) Otherwise I would feel better with that parent away forever.
Anyway, sounds like the woman in the start of the video already lost her child.
Parents did not learn how to talk about emotions when they were young, so they yell. The cycle perpetuates.
That's honestly really depressing to hear, but it's the truth.
honestly im afraid ill turn out like that
I don’t even want to have kids because I feel scared or uncomfortable I don’t know as someone is isnt an adult yet and doesn’t want to, I find pregnancy messed up even if it’s just a normal thing
Underrated comment.
I'm a teen now, and I realized this at a relatively young age.
I always told myself that if I ever have kids I would do better, and I tried my hardest to be the opposite of my parents.
Sadly, as I'm getting older I'm realizing that I'm acting the same way my parents do, and not consciously. It's been cemented into my brain. When I see this happening, I just stop and explain why I've removed myself from the current situation.
The sad thing is that I feel like I've already failed at being better, and I have decided that I don't want kids AT ALL (or at least until I better myself) because I don't want them to have the shitty life I did growing up.
This guy would make a pretty good therapist
ikr
except for the fact that he hates people
I love your icon
Id say psychologist rather
it would be nice to have a therapist like him. there’s just no one i feel like i can talk to not even my parents or my friends
“ I was quiet, but I wasn’t blind”
- Jane Austen
Someone should've told my parents that
me: **shows this video to my parents**
my parents: "it's because of that darn phone!"
this is a joke right
Well, yes. But I bet they'll say that if I actually do it.
@@farr2600 im afraid to show this to my parents
No talk at all if I show this to mah parents- *straight to the arena*
@@henrydoesstuff4260 imma head straight to the gulag
I think it's appalling that in this day and age we still have to remind people of things like "children are people too". -.-
Exactly! But the counter argument is "don't judge other people's parenting" "don't judge other people's parenting cuz you aren't in their shoes".
But it's like we have so many generations of people who have had negative experiences from their parents. When will it end? And you are exactly right. One of the key components is that we don't view children as people. Some view them as property. Some view them as pets. Some view them even as slaves. One of my friends had a mom who basically told them "I gave birth to you now you owe me. Clean up this mess I made in the house".
The people in these scenarios usually aren't right in the head, they don't care about doing a good job, or raising a child right. They just want to raise the child, any way they -can- want.
@@pluto8404 You'd have to find some _extreme_ abortion activists to find hear someone say you should be able to get one at nine months.
Not just in this day and age, things have always been pretty shitty for kids. But as it has become easier and easier to spread information I think people are slowly begging to see what's wrong with there current mindset (just look how the general perception of things like racism has changed).
@@incognitoburrito6020 yeah I agree. That's an extreme case. And I don't think any woman would wait 8 months to think about aborting. Those kinds of things happen only if there is a severe complication and death is the better option for the mother or for the baby. Idk what those are granted. But still shows the extremeness of that situation
25, living at home, and still witnessing the war between my parents to this day 😂 had to come back to this video just to check the comments. if you’re reading this and are going through something similar, stay strong! we’ll get through this
Bro I hope you moved out of there this year. Even living with random roommates would be better than being in that battlefield.
@@Crix525PR thanks for reaching out! I still haven’t been able to move, but I’m managing. hoping to be able to move sometime next year.
My mom: *beats me because I lost at school a bag full of swiming things*
Me: *cries*
My mom, while screaming: STOP CRYING! (and some other bullshit)
Me: *keeps cries 'cuz she screamed and beat me*
My mom when she realizes I won't stop crying: MORE? ON IT! *proceeds to beat me again*
Me: *a fountain of tears*
My mom: *keeps beating me until shed I fell on the floor*
Me: *forces myself to stop crying*
My mom: *leaves my room*
(explosive with ridiculous things)
My mom when explaning to me maths:
Me: *doesn't understands a math problem*
My mom: *explains how to solve with examples*
Me: *still not understanding*
My mom: *explains the problem again*
Me: *still not understanding*
My mom: *explains the problem again while gradually getting mad*
Me: *still not understanding*
My mom: *screams at me like hell while explaining*
Me: *finally understand how to do it*
(lack of patience)
And everyone's favorite but extra spicy:
My mom: *shouts at me while swearing*
Me: *does same thing to her*
My mom: I'm gonna get the belt.
Also her: *beats me 27 times in a row while seeing me crying like hell*
And yes, this were real experiences. And yes, this is a tradition across my (small) family. I've to clarify that this experiences happend to me when I was 5 to 10 years old (nowdays I'm 15, thank goodness she's not so server with me). I also have have an autistic (little) brother, and my mom is very susceptible to explode, oh no...
So now you know guys, sometimes life is a piece o' shit.
Yeah... that's super abusive. I'm so sorry if you're in a place/country that allows that sort of abuse. Call any child protection services if you can if she does anything like this again.
@@smapa1185 Thank you kindly, but can't do anything (I'm venezuelan btw).
Dude gtfo there asap
@@Sporkyyyyyy As I said, can't do anything by the moment.
@@ecranfortessa oh mb sorry
i live by this quote "kids are just adults with less experience."
Or adults are just self entitled kids
Why don’t you have a seat?
You... _live_ by this quote? Sounds funny, but maybe you've got some mindblowing way of explaining it.
@@Bootheater1 not necessary. He's right. If they had the ability and experience to make adult decisions they would but, as it is, they cannot. It sounds like excusing pedophelia if you look at it the wrong way, but the true point is "if you knew about this or could handle it yourself you would, but I know you can't so I have to be patient with you". Pedophelia is the epittome of impatience, to put it mildly.
Kids are just minisized drunk adults
sometimes I think about how my mom read my suicide note, and instead of consoling me like a regular human being, she told me that the reason I cant do anything right was because I'm lazy, and totally not from the depression she gave me from taking out her anger on me.
I did not ask to be conscious. my soul did not ask to be put into a body for you to police and use as a stress reliever. I do not owe you anything for being born.
there are nice people on www.reddit.com/r/depression/ while you have en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depression_(mood) not en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_depressive_disorder you should be able to fight it, I believe in you!
(⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
You look like you need some love, take as much as you want! I hope you get better soon and I hope you have a good day or night.
My parents also said stuff similar to that I never cry in front of anyone I’ve only cried in front of them once Bc I couldn’t hold it back and I was called crybaby for months it’s like they don’t really care anymore because I always get good grades Buhh stoped caring which I don’t mind buh I was running for president they just say don’t cry when you loose jokes on them I won so look for people that’ll bring you up instead of toxic people
I when I i tried to commit suicide and they caught me they took all my technology and told me How hard their life is, told how I should go up for for adoption, Screamed at me A LOT and didn't talk to me for a week. (there was also other stuff I don't want to say)
And now they contsantly make jokes how I'm going to "tattle tale" To the school board or become a drug addict
This is exactly what happened to me. My mom left my dad when I was a few months old, because he had traumas and was abuse towards my mom. So I had no dad. And my mom has always been yelling at me for the smallest thing that doesn't even matter. She is such a negative person: always complaining, judging other people, talking about how the world is going to shit. But of course she is perfect. I can never open up to my mom because I will just be made fun of or yelled at for being an idiot. Or in the best case scenario, I will be able to finish a couple of sentences without being interrupted, only for her to not give a shit. She doesn't show any love to me except for some moments where she treats me like a 6 month old baby just like how you described in the video...
It did fuck me up. I'm turning 20 this month and I have a hard time forming connections with people. One way this happens is, I judge every word that comes out of my mind. Then I think: "what a stupid fucking thing to say, I sound like an idiot" and I will then cut off the conversation and basically distance myself from the other person. Even though we had something good going on... I always feel like I'm doing something wrong.
Very low self esteem is another problem I face now, I am terrified of confrontation. I learned to be very picky with the words I speak to avoid over the top reactions from my mom. The result: I talk like a fucking wikipedia page. Very objective and surpressive of the interesting part of the conversation: my personality.
So yeah please don't do this to your child.
Louis, I'd like to thank you for this video as when I watched it a few years ago, it started a road of self discovery.
What my parents think they're teaching me: to be respecteble to others , actions have concecunces , ect
What they really teaching me : Wich parent is nicer,how to listen for foot steps and know who is coming upstairs , how to make it seem like I'm doing my homework, my parents schedule ect 😁
And parents these days wonder why their kids grow up with little to no respect for them.
DJ M.I.A. Honestly. My dad gets so mad with me because I can’t look him in the eye nor talk to him. Even if I tried, I just can’t. I’ve seen and heard him say that he used to hit my mother for doing a bad job. For not being more respectful. It hasn’t left me. Seeing him throw my brothers to the ground and beat the crap out of them because they got into trouble and are having teenage issues. Being forced to choose who I’d want to be with when I was around 10 years old crying my eyes out thinking they’d separate. I love him, because he’s my father, but I just can’t respect him anymore.
Exactly. Like how can you expect respect from your kids when you don’t even respect them? Ridiculous.
@@tragic8649 Coming from a very similar childhood, at least we know personally how NOT to act as a parent for our own kids.
Quinid/ I’m exited to have my own kids. I want to make sure they know that they can actually come to me whenever. I won’t expose them to toxic behavior if my significant other get into an argument. I’m sure you’re gonna be an amazing parent as well
Tragic I’m the child of someone who grew up in a house like the one you describe. My parents are both great honestly and it’s easy to go to them. But… just remember to tell your kids you’re proud of them. I think a lot of parents forget that, including mine. Strong adults are made from confident children and never being raised to have pride or confidence in yourself/decisions/abilities has lasting affects.
There's also a term called "parentification" that occurs when a caregiver treats a child as a therapist/friend to listen to their adult issues, thus robbing them of their childhood.
So be careful when you treat a child like an adult.
Just throwing that out there.
Oh, there’s a term for it
You can’t see me Jimoan I had that in my childhood. My mother often changed her partners when I was young and I was the one who cared for her when she was sad after a break up or tried to calm them down if she and a boyfriend were arguing. I thought I was grown up enough to deal with that. But It made me lose respect and trust for my mother. I rather deal with stuff on my own than bothering her with it. I feel more like a friend to my mother than a daughter, you know. That kind of made me a loner and I very hardly open up to anyone. I always feel like I have to be there for the other person. Sorry for the paragraph, I hope you get it now
@Brittany Bennett I feel like you just put my comment into general points lol
You are spot on
THANK YOU.
I went though this exact thing. I had no idea there was an actual term for this. I grew up always involved in what was going on. Whether it be my mother's relationship problems, our financial issues, and anything that was happening amongst the family (for example, my mother and grandmother would often fight and they would rant to me about each other. I usually just tried to stay objective because i didn't want to hurt anyone)
Even now it affects me. I wish that I had more of a childhood and that I could have just enjoyed that time I had, without worrying over things I shouldn't have even known about.
@Brittany Bennett me
I felt like you were talking to me directly at points. My Mom would always scream at everything when she was even slightly inconvenienced, and I always felt like it was my fault and I was burdening her. I could never go to her about my problems because I knew she would overreact and her stress level would go through the roof, even though I knew she cared about me I was scared of burdening her.
My dad always screamed at me, my mom or himself. When he did I felt afraid. My mom and my dad got a divorce and my dad found a new wife. They got a child together, which is my sister. My dad is more relaxed than before. Because now he understands the mind of a child. However on vacation. My sisters mom and our dad would fight everyday. And that put a lot of stress on me. And it must have been a lot of stress on my sister. So whenever there was a fight I would take my sister for a walk. Or play with here somewhere away from the noice. Because no one did this with me.
Im sure if you showed this video to your parent, you'll get a lecture for being "disrespectful."
anamatronic gamer
If i saw people disrespecting their child and i was close to their child, don't think for a second i wouldn't show them this.
nah, my mum is open minded, if she didn't understand she'd at least try to.
@Just another basic burnt potato FELT THAT
Or you’d get the whole “oh you don’t have children. You don’t understand”
“Children don’t want to feel like a burden”
Hits to close to home. A lot of my suicidal thoughts felt justified because I would say it would help my parents with one less kid to feed and take care of
Same
"felt justified because I would say it would help my parents with one less kid to feed and take care of"
I thought that was just me.... :(
Hope u guys are alright
@@hussainkhuraibet2220 I know right
wow same
Wow, I didn't realize this, when I was little my parents fought alot and this stuff is why I have a shy response to people geting mad at me. They say the first step to solving a problem is identifying it's root, and I just did that. Thank you !!
Not only will he fix your iphone he'll fix your life
Metroid is bae!!!!! Best game series period!
People who disliked this probs scream at their kids, smh.
@@jamesgregorygulledge1598 Rather, I think adults never have truly "Grown Up" ... ya know, despite telling yourself that you're older and more mature every birthday that comes, you don't really feel any different. We all still are like children deep down no matter how old we are.
"Well my parents screamed at me and I turned out just fine!!!"
@@violentviolet26 The kid said, while loading his AK-47.
@@violentviolet26 This. This is exactly the type of mentality people need to get rid of. Like, no, you're screaming at a small child. A. Small. Child. How is that, in any way, "fine"?
@@tzeningloh3034 ahahahahaaaaa my mom screams at my three year old sister
she gets in her face and screams and cusses
I dont know how often it happens when im gone
Damn tbh adults that say "oh he isn't listening" or "oh he's too young to understand" , legit are so far up in their ass thinking we are too dumb to comprehend so it's fine to shout about how their a mistake or smt
Parents need to understand kids can learn quickly, most of the time kids do listen when they hear shouting especially if it's their parents shouting, and with the day and age of the Internet being available and needed the new generation gets smarter and more aware so its only a matter of time before they know what your talking about and put two and two together and be distressed that your stressed and angry af
When I told my mom to clean her room and have her other half to take leftovers off the plates *nicely* and *calmly* she threatens to beat me and told me stop being smart in order to continue doing the dishes.....
Huh??????
This guy is like your young uncle that has been through many alleys of life and is already quite weary of the world's lot of nonsense and absolutely won't sit around and not talk about it constructively and compassionately.
I wish I could relate. 2 of my uncles are dead, one of drug abuse and the other of falling off a ladder, and the other two are either emotionally unstable or a hot-headed Gen-X liberal not afraid to rant about whatever comes to mind.
Watching this video at looking at the comments is like looking at a mirror
I haven’t even met most of my uncles yet
My uncle is just a simp for girls and is leaching of his own mother she almost has nothing left because of him
I would take him as an uncle IN A HEARTBEAT. My uncle is very abusive and would make me cry everyday multiple times. He would scheme to get me in trouble and make his kids look good. It was always MY fault and if i said the truth about their kid that was bad they would say "Well i believe my kids and they said they didnt.". He messed me up soo much i cant see myself the same anymore. Im not happy anymore because of his abuse. So having an uncle who actually cares about me would be a miracle.