Kids are stupid in many ways. Often times they do things when taught not to. As a child I understood that putting my hand in a fire would be a stupid thing to do. Yet many of the other kids in my age group did plenty of said stupid things. The fact is that they didn't learn by taking in information or by understanding simple logic. They learned not to put their hand in the fire by putting their hand in the fire. That's what makes a lot of kids stupid. The thing is. Enough times being burned for stupidity will occasionally make a stupid person think twice and grow smarter. And current modern politics proves that many of those children didn't grow smarter at all.
There are a lot of things children don’t understand; they’re children after all. But they have a unique sensitivity to the unspoken and the emotional like most adults do not. Also Aron, if you make your last name a period it does not show up on your account name.
Yeah we are not stupid. I'm just a self aware ten year old. Yelling doesn't heal my zits or get rid of my TTM. Doesn't do anything but make me sad even though i was being forced to do something I don't want to do.
3ds max Crazy thought. What if we believed in each other for the betterment of everyone. What if the old taught the young, and vice versa. What if we tried to understand one another and be out for each other's wellbeing instead of destruction? Instead of laying constant blame, whining and insulting we were kind to each other. And would give advice like a loving mother or wise father would their sons and daughters? Or caring friend to friend? Just a crazy thought.
This is probably the only channel on UA-cam where you can learn how to fix Mac Books, valuable life lessons, riding a bicycle at 19.99999999999MPH, and how to properly wipe your own ass. Thank you Louis.
Honestly, I just found this channel and after this one video, I can tell Louis is a very.. No, there aren’t words to describe how kind and sympathetic he is. He’s an amazing human.
Well-known divorce and child custody lawyer here. Just my two cents: a majority of the the people who need to see this video will not see it or if they do, they will not accept it as truth or acknowledge they are the problem. However, if just one adult sees this video and changes the way they approach how they deal with a child, it was worth it. Great message. Keep up the great work.
It's a fine line to walk. You want to be calm around your children, but they NEED to be exposed to conflict. Maybe not irrational yelling, but they need to know that conflict happens between people, and that resolving it quickly is the most rewarding way. If they aren't exposed to to conflict (and I suppose to a small degree even yelling), they may be shocked when it happens in front of them, and not know how to handle it. You don't want to shelter your children, or you just end up with a fragile millenial.
@Precious ObajiI am good, trust that. There are no issues with me and I grew up with a deadbeat dad living in the same house as me. I nearly became a pro soccer player by myself, was not driven to practice, no one came to watch games etc. didn't make it in the end. Now done with IT bachelors 5 years later with 3.3 ish GPA. no financial support so I worked parttime and now about to land 70K job in a month or two if all goes well with interviews and that. 24 yo atm(Norway) I've watched JP but what he says is things I already realised as a youngin. Parents are not perfect, you got to get things on your own and don't play victim because you'll get no where with that.
Because they're not open to these ideas... How can we become more open to dealing with our own issues? & How can we help others to be more open as well?
@@grizzlyaddams3606 I feel like you’ve never heard the saying “You don’t need to be a chef to know the food tastes bad” Also psychologists and stuff exist
make sure you don’t accidentally do 180 and do the complete opposite of what your parents did, because in my expirenev the opposite of something bad usually ends up being equally bad. For example my parents were raised in a very religious & strict environment, their parents were always watching them and gave them no free will as they were always kept on a tight schedule. So my parents raised my 4 siblings and I in a way that I consider to be the complete opposite during our childhood and teen hood there was absolutely no rules, no regulations and no structure.....sometimes it felt like we didn’t have parents at all just to adult friends that never seemed to be around...and well in the end almost all five of us turned out to be highschool drop outs, criminals and druggies. Anyway If you do end up having children, then I suggest you try and find a happy medium...don’t let your trauma blind you to reason, I’ll try my best too.
@@donni6315 Same shit happened to me other than my parents didn't do 180s on the actual abuse parts. No rules, no nothing, other than extremely high expectations, but still physical and mental abuse and parentification for ages. Always good to remember you can have an entirely non strict household that still enforces some schedule and healthy interaction between parents and kids. Growing up without any routine, schedule, or parental figures (aside from those I grew to distrust) was shit.
Ben Lawson yeah, but they just are inevitably a burden and cause problems, but we shouldn’t treat them like a burden, and they don’t want to be a burden, but can’t help it, I’m realizing adults have major issues with children being children whether not paying attention, getting their clothes slightly dirty to filthy, having no attention span, being obsessed with cartoons/games, not liking school, breaking things, etc. I would say I understand where this comes from, because we have forgotten our childhood and who we were back then
I remember that always being my one huge fear. It's what I feel led to me having such bad anxiety, cause I always felt like a burden as a small child so I unconsciously dedicated my time to my friends through my teenage years to make sure they didn't think I was a burden.
@@colorblindgiraffe8114 Not eating alot, or finishing all your food and even eating food that was probably past expiration. Never asked for anything even though I may have needed it (feminine products) I'd make it last as long as humanly possible. Didn't bath much (cause we were poor) to avoid using alot of water. I remember when school happened, I'd pick up every pencil I saw on the floors, not really use my school supplies so I could have it for next year, "borrowed" a handful of library books cause I used to love reading. Kids do alot to do what they think will help their parents, especially to not feel like a burden.
@@thebluedot4728 lol, you think these people who scream outside in front of people are gonna listen to what he has to say? Those are the kind of people that would scream back at you telling you "HOW DARE YOU TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY CHILD!!!".
Ok not saying you should yell around your child I'm saying just that hiding the fact that your realtionship isn't perfect from your child will result in a unrealistic expectation for there future partner
i remember my mom saying "we fight around you so you know what real relationships are like." and thats just telling me abusive and toxic relationships are ok, which they are not...
It's the "misery loves company" approach to Parenthood... No lady, you fight around your kids because _you_ don't know what a real relationship looks like.
I think your mom was trying to say that fights take place cause like communication and other stuff but delivered it so wrong. The issue is a child won't look into things THAT deep and obviously theres an issue if the kid didnt see the parents make up and forgive
@@dreamgal558 and the other phrase I always helped my parents when I grew up key word I I'm not you okay mom leave me to be happy I want to learn how to bake so yea if I don't finish school i can always be a baker okay mom?
A lot of people (Karen) say “don’t tell me how to raise my kids” this guy isn’t telling you what to do when you are raising your kids, he is telling you why what you are doing is wrong. Two totally different things.
This guy is like your young uncle that has been through many alleys of life and is already quite weary of the world's lot of nonsense and absolutely won't sit around and not talk about it constructively and compassionately.
I wish I could relate. 2 of my uncles are dead, one of drug abuse and the other of falling off a ladder, and the other two are either emotionally unstable or a hot-headed Gen-X liberal not afraid to rant about whatever comes to mind.
I would take him as an uncle IN A HEARTBEAT. My uncle is very abusive and would make me cry everyday multiple times. He would scheme to get me in trouble and make his kids look good. It was always MY fault and if i said the truth about their kid that was bad they would say "Well i believe my kids and they said they didnt.". He messed me up soo much i cant see myself the same anymore. Im not happy anymore because of his abuse. So having an uncle who actually cares about me would be a miracle.
If you can now, try to get into some kind of therapy or even talk to a school counselor. If you're scared of getting your parents into trouble like I was or can't go to counseling, make sure you do it when you're an adult I understand how hard it is being so young and feeling helpless, get it taken care of as soon as possible. It'll help you when you get older, I've let myself be held back in life because I didn't want to help myself and want someone to do it for me or have no motivation If you're a young man you should especially get help, men are most likely to commit suicide and often have issues expressing themselves. They think they can just force themselves to get over it or make themselves better with sheer will It's okay to be hurt, it's okay to cry and it's okay to be a tough guy just make sure you get help now so you can not only heal but also not stunt yourself as an adult
@@a79919 Thank you for your input, but I should state that I'm 24 years old, and taking college courses. This sort of business is something few others know about me. At this point I have to play it safe as I still reside in his house. I'll seek therapy/counseling once I can move out and find myself in a "safe-situation". As for now, the only comfort I get is when he leaves for work for long periods of time.
@@YowLife Oops! 🤣 I understand what you mean, I'm in a similar situation. Hopefully you can get a good job with your degree and get yourself well needed help, I know how hard it is feeling like you're trapped. Even though there's not much I can do to help anyone, I hope you can take comfort in knowing you're not alone
@@portgasdann3389 They aren't telling you to be like them. They are saying, that you are being lazy, and not doing the productive things you COULD be doing. And in vast majority of cases, they are absolutely right.
My parents know that the kids understand. But my step fathers theory is "well trauma makes it easier for children to adapt to the real world. They need some level of trauma." To me that's bullshit. You can teach your child to adapt to the real world without verbally abusing them.
My parents said the same. Apparently destroying someone physical and mental health through an entire lifetime of abuse was "a gift I would thank them for one day" yea right. It ruined my life and all potential I had. I can barely even get out of bed I'm so unhealthy and sick all the time.
When I was about 10-11 years old, I slipped on some ice and smashed my face and teeth. I was bleeding quite badly. My first thought was to go to the local store to get help rather than home to my parents. IIRC I thought they'd scream at me and scold me.
Oof, sounds like you were treated as the problem for them :( or are you impling that since you moved out you are relieved that you no longer have to hear yelling? :) In anyway, I hope your life is better! God bless you!
The western world pushes a narrative of Graduate get a job get married have kids and they will do the same and then you die It’s not a lifestyle for everyone.
You know what I do whenever my parents yell at each other or fight for no reason? I pick up my little brother, go outside or to the other room, and try to distract him as much as possible. Since he is still a child, I would do anything to not let the screams of my parents get to him. I can see it in his eyes how scared and confused he becomes. And I always promise myself that I will never grow up to be like them. Never.
Literally me but with my cousin. He's now more open to me about stuff than even his own parents. I can tell that he appreciates me doing it. Keep doing what you're doing man, good shit
ahhhh i feel you. same thing with my mom and her bf and her ex (my dad) and i have a little sister that i try to get away from all that. i don’t want her to grow up like how i did.
You are fully correct... Damn it... Now I remember the time when my mom almost left us during an argument between her and my oldest brother... I was maybe scared and afraid for unknown reason...
Yeah... as much as it pains me to say it, I think a lot of my problems stem from the fights my parents had when I was a child. I still love them and I know they love me, they’ve also not been getting into loud fights as much as they used to. Still though, the damage has been done.
My mom was a bully to my dad. Constantly insulting his intelligence and talking shit about him to me and my sisters. And we believed her.She made him out to be the bad guy. Often in fights she would accuse him of being abusive, but my dad never touched any of us. I remember him trying to calm her down and reason with her and my mom threatening to call the police because he was abusive. Once I realized that my mom was not being good to me I realized all the fucked up things she did to my dad. I feel guilty for ever believing that my dad was the bad guy, when he’s the biggest victim out of all of us.
Did you ever have the opportunity to talk to your father about it? You probably have, but I know he would appreciate it a lot. There are too many unfit parents in the world. Maybe I should be glad I haven't had the opportunity to risk somehow becoming one of them.
I recently took that advice of treating infants like normal people. So I started playing with my nephew that was a year and a half. My idea was pointing a different ball and saying the color of the ball. I decided to start with red and green. So I took all of the red balls he had and repeated the word red, giving him time to respond. He clearly understood that I was talking about the color. I then went on with the green balls, and he said green for his first time! I then told him to pick up the "reds" for me. He put all of the red balls in a basket. Kids are geniuses, they just don't have an obvious way to trasmit that without language.
Yeah, true man. They just lack the motor and communication skills, have you seen babies getting frustrated and angry when they cant do something. That means that in their mind they know what to do but they lack motor skills
@@almir7896 You laugh but that's literally me trying to draw animals and life forms. I know what I want the picture to look like, I just don't have the motor skills to do it.
Glad to hear it. Teaching small kids colors and shapes are super important. I you wan't to go next level, you can try teaching them "prepositions of place" at the same time. 7esl.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/Untitled-design-3-2.jpg
@@Bootheater1 not necessary. He's right. If they had the ability and experience to make adult decisions they would but, as it is, they cannot. It sounds like excusing pedophelia if you look at it the wrong way, but the true point is "if you knew about this or could handle it yourself you would, but I know you can't so I have to be patient with you". Pedophelia is the epittome of impatience, to put it mildly.
Exactly! But the counter argument is "don't judge other people's parenting" "don't judge other people's parenting cuz you aren't in their shoes". But it's like we have so many generations of people who have had negative experiences from their parents. When will it end? And you are exactly right. One of the key components is that we don't view children as people. Some view them as property. Some view them as pets. Some view them even as slaves. One of my friends had a mom who basically told them "I gave birth to you now you owe me. Clean up this mess I made in the house".
The people in these scenarios usually aren't right in the head, they don't care about doing a good job, or raising a child right. They just want to raise the child, any way they -can- want.
Not just in this day and age, things have always been pretty shitty for kids. But as it has become easier and easier to spread information I think people are slowly begging to see what's wrong with there current mindset (just look how the general perception of things like racism has changed).
@@incognitoburrito6020 yeah I agree. That's an extreme case. And I don't think any woman would wait 8 months to think about aborting. Those kinds of things happen only if there is a severe complication and death is the better option for the mother or for the baby. Idk what those are granted. But still shows the extremeness of that situation
I am a father of 8 children - you convicted me. You are a good man and your voice is important- if not for your audience- for their most precious treasures. I didn’t expect this from a cat owning apple technician- I am humbled and grateful.
Why 8 childern? 1 is enough, 2 is okay and 3 to much for somebody to being well off, cash wise. Above 4 and you can never treat your childern emotionally equally. But its your life, anyways.
Isabella Malczynski and when you don’t know why, you assume it’s normal. And when you assume it’s normal, then you copy it. And then your children copy you. And it keeps going until someone Is the better parent.
jokes 101 i’m 13 and i am so sorry u have to go through this like i understand since i’m going through kinda the same but i really hope everything gets better
@@aquaticangel3380 True. The so-called "cycle of abuse". I'm so glad to be out of this toxic family system. I went completely No Contact with most of my relatives. And they can keep arguing about their toxic nonsense all they want. I won't be a part of it.
kids pick up a lot. if you're arguing 3 rooms away through closed doors and they even hear the tiniest hint of a raised voice, they will notice it and flick over to conflict mode in their heads. they'll stop doing whatever they were doing and sit there quietly listening to anything they can hear. they will sit there in silence for minutes after just listening desperately to make sure they can't hear any more shouting. like louis I remember doing this very early on the couple of times I heard shouting adults, usually a friend's house I was staying in. I would get very distressed deep down inside and stop whatever I was doing and sit there feeling like shit the entire time. it felt like they were yelling at me, or at least about me, even though it had nothing to do with me. the same goes for anyone who raises their voice in public. people shout at eachother for absolutely nothing. the fact that they do it at all is ridiculous but that they do it around their kids and other peoples kids too is so much worse.
Oh man... I remember this. So many times. I would always rather get out of bed (than stay in bed) and go tell my mother to calm down when she was drunk again and arguing with my (not drunk) dad. I would always wait until she went to sleep, so I could sleep, because otherwise I couldn't. But every time she said she's going she would get up to drink some more. I eventually got used to it by the time I was a teenager but even then, I wouldn't be able to be calm if they were arguing, I'd have to intervene every time. I think it's one of the reasons I can't keep up a healthy and regular sleep schedule because of how often it happened. Sorry if it's not okay to share this on here but it's on topic.
This brought up an extremely personal moment for me that is so vivid and clear as day that I can remember what it smelt like, where I was if I was sitting or standing, and what the context was for the argument. I was on the third floor of the house and I could hear my dad, in his car parked in the driveway yelling at my mother and I just stopped and pressed my ear to the wall and listened for what felt like an eternity. A lot of why I am the way I am today makes so much more sense seeing a video like this. I'm not going to let this happen to my future kids, no fucking way in hell.
@@mewk3213 Sometimes it gives me hope to think that, once we are done with dealing with whatever mental health problems we might have (at least I have those), I think people like us would make great parents. I know from experience with my cousins I'm good with kids and they like to hang around me, but I also know when to tell them to stop and they respect that. I think there is a very easy way to earn the respect of children while at the same time give them freedom and remain calm and relaxed. You shouldn't give a 3 year old an army training where you just yell at them. I wish more parents realized that, however I understand it can be easy to forget when you're so occupied and busy in your life.
My dad was a shouter when I was a kid. He used to get into these insanely loud and terrifying shouting matches with my mother. I remember being 5 and feeling like it was an earthquake. To this day I don't trust either of my parents to be close to me emotionally.
Relatable i think its also the fact that some parents just because they spend money on children they have a right to be abusive both physically and emotionally
When I got older and was going through personal issues , and they could see it and they would ask me to tell them what's going on, and that "I could share with them" I will never share jack shit with them. I'm so mentally fucked up because of them. I grew up in a bilingual home and the first words I remember speaking in my mother younger were curse words
Warning rant: I just need to get this off my chest. My nephew (via marriage) is in this position... my partner and I can't build up any relationship with him, because whenever he's near us his parents FLIP out, particularly my SIL. She yells at him about __everything__! Even when it's very hot, he's not allowed to cool his feet off, if he so much as has the sniffles. BUT there are never any consequences-there's no difference between him running in the street and splashing water in the garden. Just yelling. He never gets positive attention. My SIL yells at my BIL and constantly undermines him. So my BIL isn't allowed to take him anywhere alone. So he doesn't he only takes his sons to their grandparents as soon as he has to actually "deal" with them. My BIL and SIL constantly yell at each other-- not helped by the fact that my BIL is not neurotypical. My SIL is neurotic--she cleans the house from top to bottom every 2 days, but she doesn't play with her kids--she doesn't snuggle them or sing to them. Neither does my BIL. We always have to make special accommodations for them, because they scream and embarrass us in front of the neighbors. I don't want to go out to places with them for the same reason. At 4.5 years old my nephew can't actually speak--he just parrots what other people say, or he'll say mean things. He can't use the toilet, he's _still_ in diapers. He is so insecure and wants to get other people to yell, so that he can see that his parents "are normal". Their pediatrician said that he is not hitting important milestones and so his parents switched doctors, because they refuse to believe that they are damaging their son. Now his younger brother is approaching the "terrible twos" and he'll start being yelled at. It is freaking tragic. I feel so helpless. :( Edit: formatting
Relatable. My father used to (and still does from time to time) shout at me for the most banal things because he's a bit of a perfectionist, and me being clumsy. Couple of years ago when my aunt lent me to drive her car before I bought my own car, I went to drive around the villages in my area, and I scratched the front of the car somewhere. I was too afraid to tell him because he will yell at me, but he ended up noticing it and he yelled at me to the point that I was in tears and almost destroyed my driving license. Thankfully my aunt scolded him, and he apologized to me afterwards. I know it was my fault not telling him, but from my past experiences I was too afraid to tell him because of past experiences.
I don’t even want to have kids because I feel scared or uncomfortable I don’t know as someone is isnt an adult yet and doesn’t want to, I find pregnancy messed up even if it’s just a normal thing
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birdpills just don’t have kids then and be careful with your relationships. I think that’s the best advice possible
Parents: whats the problem? You: You Parents: *deflects responsibility or gets defensively angry* _Two weeks later_ Parents: whats the problem? You: ... Parents: you don’t tell me anything :(
Oh my god Becky That’s literally what my dad did on an extreme level and it fucked me up for years even when I stopped living with him except he caused the problems
I think I have bad anxiety because of my parents yelling all the time. Yelling and loud people and loud stuff in general make my anxiety go whoop upwards
Same. I'm scared of my dad since forever, his voice doesn't help. Even if he raises it just a tiny bit to warn me about something or because I couldn't hear him, I stay in shock for, like, two minutes. Normal scolding gets me scared and thinking about it for months. Sorry for the vent
Yeah I used to be loud and love loudness but after my parents got in this yelling war I started getting quieter and soon enough I get huge anxiety bursts when I hear them laughing because I think their going to start up again
usually parents like mine(of course, both of them, yikes) always think they're high and mighty, we children must address them properly like : "yes, mom." "i listen and obey all your words, mother." yes, that's what my mother told me how to reply to her.
This comment hits me hard. When i was a little kid, i would tell my dad that i didn't like it when him and mom argued, and he would always ask me "what were we arguing about?" I never had an answer because i really didn't know. I never knew why he asked me this every time either.
@@Caveman_brain because he is a piece of shit who answers your question with a question so he never has to self reflect on his shitty behaviour. Parents fucking made you, so they legally own you as property and are entitled to you as far as they are concerned.
Good rule of thumb is 7-11-18 Every.... 7 years = consciousness shift 11= intelligence shift 18= life shift Children are vulnerable, but not powerless. They do not operate like "small adults" they are children they are entirely different kinds of beings.
@@standingpineapple6651 Children aren't disabled, they aren't stupid, and they aren't smart. They're foreigners who are learning your language, your culture, your values, and more all to fit in. They are also freeloaders, whether the law protects their status as freeloaders or not (it does) they're freeloaders. NOBODY likes being treated as less than. Regardless of age. A child's learning curve is sharper than any knife on Earth, and they WILL pick up on things in their environment, given an amount of time. The reason children go independent is partly because they resent the way they're treated as children. If you give your kids everything they could ever want and they get used to having everything without being a burden, they lose any sense of value you've taught them, and their work ethic goes out the window. You can also sabotage their work ethic by simply not rewarding their hard work. You can get away with rewarding a job poorly done or done with low effort, but you'll scar them if you don't reward their hard work. Of course work ethic can improve after getting screwed, but it takes a heavy reality check and short term goals WITH REWARDS. I'm currently retraining my work ethic after getting absolutely destroyed by school dumping my scores because they don't agree with me politically and/or don't like me. IDK how it's going but I'd hate all forms of writing if it weren't for discovering a love (not gift since I suck) for telling stories, and by extension, writing stories. I feel I'm making progress, and in my first job I gave what my supervisor called "Above and Beyond customer experience" at Six Flags after an audit found I was compliant with safety standards (one person in my unit wasn't and was immediately let go). My earliest memories are from when I was 3~4 yo and they involved pre-K and some hijinks from shared custody across multiple households. My earliest bad memory was from about the 1st grade when my mother moved back into my father's house and they immediately started having problems. When the shouting could be in a parkinglot or driveway, I didn't hear much but as soon as they were confined to a house, it was e v e r y w h e r e. Personal advice - if you can afford to, invest in a family counselor to talk to weekly. Don't just try one when problems start happening because somebody will question the authority and nothing will happen. If you can gain mutual trust, it's an asset in family health and child growth. Not to mention it's someone the kid will feel comfortable talking to about things that they fear they can't tell their parents.
She isn't entirely wrong, and isn't entirely right. Not entirely wrong because yes, while you are living in her house, you must live by her rules. Not entirely right because a parent should encourage a child to voice his/her thoughts. Within reason.
This video reminds me of a quote I heard once about verbal child abuse. It was something like "I may not remember what you said, but I remember the way you made me feel".
Parent: why don’t you tell us anything? Child: *tells parent something* Parent: *goes on one hour rant about how the child’s opinion is wrong and the child has no right to feel this way because they are too young*
This is why I dont even talk to my parents about personal issues anymore. I tell them that the way they raised me was wrong(I got hit alot growing up) was wrong. Then they get defensive and say crap like "you are who you are becauss of ME!" Parents take credit for their kids success, but will never acknowledge their mistakes.
@@angelgjr1999 *"you are who you are becauss of ME!"* I wonder how many parents who thinks like that knows that it means that they're also one the reasons that their child is broken.
sometimes I think about how my mom read my suicide note, and instead of consoling me like a regular human being, she told me that the reason I cant do anything right was because I'm lazy, and totally not from the depression she gave me from taking out her anger on me. I did not ask to be conscious. my soul did not ask to be put into a body for you to police and use as a stress reliever. I do not owe you anything for being born.
there are nice people on www.reddit.com/r/depression/ while you have en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depression_(mood) not en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_depressive_disorder you should be able to fight it, I believe in you!
My parents also said stuff similar to that I never cry in front of anyone I’ve only cried in front of them once Bc I couldn’t hold it back and I was called crybaby for months it’s like they don’t really care anymore because I always get good grades Buhh stoped caring which I don’t mind buh I was running for president they just say don’t cry when you loose jokes on them I won so look for people that’ll bring you up instead of toxic people
I when I i tried to commit suicide and they caught me they took all my technology and told me How hard their life is, told how I should go up for for adoption, Screamed at me A LOT and didn't talk to me for a week. (there was also other stuff I don't want to say)
I’m gonna ask my teacher to play this in class (maybe schoolwide). There’s no point in trying to change our parents, it’s too late for that, but what we can do is warn the ones that are going to become the next generation of parents.
We must be better for our kids. So they don't end up with the scars that generations before us have suffered and passed on. It's not being a snowflake however. it's being a good parent.
it's not a right of passage to be yelled at, whipped with a belt, a chancla, or a stick. It's not a right of passage to have emotional scars of having rough relationships with your family. We shouldn't seek to create tough situations just because we admire those who have prevailed over their own struggles.
I grew up this way. I started my teaching career yelling the same way. I didn't realize it was a problem until my bosses and coworkers called me out. I still don't think it's a big deal, but I'm willing to avoid yelling as much as possible.
@@jamesgregorygulledge1598 Rather, I think adults never have truly "Grown Up" ... ya know, despite telling yourself that you're older and more mature every birthday that comes, you don't really feel any different. We all still are like children deep down no matter how old we are.
@@violentviolet26 This. This is exactly the type of mentality people need to get rid of. Like, no, you're screaming at a small child. A. Small. Child. How is that, in any way, "fine"?
@@tzeningloh3034 ahahahahaaaaa my mom screams at my three year old sister she gets in her face and screams and cusses I dont know how often it happens when im gone
I've had the privilege of growing up in a loving household with level-headed parents, but it seems like almost everyone else in my area is part of an abusive family and it's honestly sickening. I've been going to this dance studio for about eight years now, and the mothers who like to use their kids' extracurriculars as social hangouts constantly gossip about how awful and annoying their kids are, whether it's behind their backs or right in front of them. Literal toddlers are yanked by the arms and yelled at on a daily basis. The threat of beatings is commonplace; often mothers discuss the various objects they like to chase their children with and/or throw at them. The topic is even used for comedy. Last week, the co-owner of the studio got mad at her nine-year-old daughter because she didn't want to take this class and eventually got so fed up that she yanked her out of the room. I nervously asked my friend if she thought she was going to hit her, and she giggled a little and said, "Oh yeah, probably," followed by a few more giggles from the girls around us. Then she said, "Yeah, my mom always says she's going to beat me, but when we get home we just laugh it off. Now if my DAD says he's going to beat me, then I'm in big trouble!" The girls around us laughed lightly as the co-owner came back with her daughter. The girl was rubbing her cheek and wiping tears out of her eyes, obviously having been slapped. It wasn't nearly as bad as some of the other things I've heard her mother brag about doing to her (throwing shoes at her, beating her with one of those wooden spoons you stir pasta with), but it still was just so depressing to see. I've seen so many children talk casually about getting beaten and their abusers/enablers of said abusers joking directly with them about getting beaten, and it's horrifying to see everyone so desensitized and even approving of this behavior. Another thing that I've noticed ever since I was very little was the threat, "If you don't stop acting up, I'm gonna call your daddy." Those words strike such terror into young children around where I live, and I never fully understood why until recently. Imagine being so terrified of someone you live with and see on a daily basis that you can go from bawling and screaming to completely stone-faced in a split second just to avoid him knowing you were crying. AT THREE YEARS OLD. And it's honestly cowardly of me to not do anything about it. Here I am, preaching about how immoral and inhumane this all is, while I just sit and watch as a mother slaps her daughter repeatedly and violently on the arm for not handing her something quickly enough. But, and I know this is such a pathetic thing to say but I still feel like it has some merit anyway, what can I do? I'm a quiet, fifteen year- old girl whose family is an outsider because my parents are from the north; I'm not buddy-buddy with the teachers like some of my peers, I don't like causing conflict, and the adults are ridiculously stubborn, dense, and aggressive, who would probably beat all of their students if it wasn't against the law. I know this isn't about me, but I always feel like I'm walking the line between being too cowardly to take a stand against these people, and not having any of the resources needed to actually do that. Anyway, my heart goes out to anyone who has ever experienced anything remotely similar to what I've described. It's disturbing to see how much child abuse is normalized in the southern US (or at least North Carolina, where I live), but hopefully gen z will be the generation that eradicates such disgusting behavior. Sorry for the literal novel I just wrote. I didn't realize how much I was saying until I looked back to check my grammar.
Honestly don’t know what to say besides “good comment”. You seem very self aware and as a youngin’ myself I think we just gotta learn as much as we can so when we’re adults we can use our knowledge for good. Sorry about the situation (I’m in a similar one, I see crap like that all the time). As long as you recognize what is wrong and right for now that’s the best we can do.
I'm just over twice your age, but I can imagine being in your position reading this and it's both heart-wrenching and infuriating. If people were saying those things around me then I don't think I would be able to keep quiet, and I'm normally pretty introverted. The reality is that it's often impossible to intervene in other peoples' personal affairs - there's no legal precedent for it and most people would tell you it's not your place to do so. But the empathy driving this desire to just _do something_ is something I find very relatable. Cowardice is a strong word, and I feel like if I was seeing violence in front of me then I would actually be compelled to step in somehow (as I have reacted to things in the past) but at the same time I do know how you feel even though I'm (supposedly!) an adult myself. Sadly I think it's something that is not liable to change on a broad scale in the immediate future, it's likely as old as human history. As long as you do the best you can for the people you know and love, that might well be enough.
Sadly there's only so much we can do for others, but I think what you can do is question this. Not agree with it. Not giggle a long (although I doubt you do). One day many of these kids will realise how much they were hurt... or start acting like their parents. Perhaps you can be a voice of different perspective that they one day will recall while thinking, and maybe it can help them see. Although I have to point out that such behaviour (like joking about abuse) is also a form of coping to victims of abuse many times, especially if it's a cultural thing, it's something you can bond over and it becomes a way to process it at least to some degree...
my mom: *goes through all my stuff, yells at me for not telling her my feelings, threatens to punch me* also my mom: why don’t you talk to me anymore? why don’t you trust me anymore?
My mom goes through EVERYTHING on my iPad. You know how adults like to leave tabs open? Well, she does that when she looks on my devices. I even saw the google maps tab open... how do our parents distrust us that much?
My dad literally said to me at 4 years old, while I’m crying and he’s yelling at my mom over some bullshit , “This isn’t about you!”. Like dude you just proved right then and there how much you don’t care about how other people feel period.
Honestly screaming around kids makes anxious adults. Any time my husband raises his voice (not at me), closes a door too hard, “seems” mad I instantly get anxious, because I remember my parents getting red in the face angry and how terrible I felt every time it happened
After some events with both my parents getting really angry I've noticed that when anyone shouts or does anything that reminds me of it I become anxious and disoriented
Hey you should try doing some inner child work, it's when you like nurture the child who went through all that shit, so that you now will not have to suffer for the shit child you had to suffer through yknow, it's been helping me lately, my child self was so sad n broken, but she's so happy and I'm so full of real love for myself now a days yknow
You couldn’t be more accurate about that. Even just reading the title of the video made my heart rate jump, and then stay at that throughout the whole thing.
@@Macabresque hey it is when you meditate and during the meditation you imagine yourself as a child, you just keep telling yourself how sorry you are for everything that's happened etc, just give your child self all the love and forgiveness they need. I also go to reiki sessions from time to time which has helped me to really unlock a lot of traumas that were so bad my child brain cut it out of my memories so you could try also find out if your city has any reiki healing places aswell, I've been to psychologists n hospitalized a few times due to mental illness, but after a spiritual look at things I am healing a lot quicker, you should do your own research though because you don't want to unlock some traumas that could just ruin you?? Definitely have a lot of support around you if you can!
Yup. They repeat everything, too. Recently, my GF's little cousins repeated ALL the gossip their parents talked about all the other family members. Needless to say, instead of going to their Christmas, we decided to vacation in Florida instead.
Mike Morris yep. Everyone is special just by being alive. They don't need to prove it with things outside themselves. You are who you are no matter what you do. That is how it is.
@Christopher Huber Sure, but it doesn't put you above others who haven't had a child. Being a good parent puts you above that. They deserve help, but they deserve criticizm as well.
DJ M.I.A. Honestly. My dad gets so mad with me because I can’t look him in the eye nor talk to him. Even if I tried, I just can’t. I’ve seen and heard him say that he used to hit my mother for doing a bad job. For not being more respectful. It hasn’t left me. Seeing him throw my brothers to the ground and beat the crap out of them because they got into trouble and are having teenage issues. Being forced to choose who I’d want to be with when I was around 10 years old crying my eyes out thinking they’d separate. I love him, because he’s my father, but I just can’t respect him anymore.
Quinid/ I’m exited to have my own kids. I want to make sure they know that they can actually come to me whenever. I won’t expose them to toxic behavior if my significant other get into an argument. I’m sure you’re gonna be an amazing parent as well
Tragic I’m the child of someone who grew up in a house like the one you describe. My parents are both great honestly and it’s easy to go to them. But… just remember to tell your kids you’re proud of them. I think a lot of parents forget that, including mine. Strong adults are made from confident children and never being raised to have pride or confidence in yourself/decisions/abilities has lasting affects.
I’ve always hated when people talk to kids in high condescending voices. I know they mean well, but it’s just unneeded and cringey. Even worse, people will talk that way towards someone with special needs and it drives me crazy.
Ooof ikr. I literally see people talk to people with amputated arms or legs in that squeekey voice. Like sis what. Also I really love it when children talks about their hobbies (especially girls talking anything remotely outside dressing up, make up, dancing, etc) and suddenly adults will change the topic into something stupid (also in that stupid squeekey voice).
@@bruhbruh5948 when I was that age, most people around me (children too) hated that. We weren't scared, we just felt like they thought we were stupid. It made us frustrated.
@@bruhbruh5948 kids think you find them stupid or just a kid not worthy to talk with, that's piss them off lol. Plus if you talk to a kid like that, they might have later some troubles speaking
When I was 7, ( 20 now ) my parents used to slap me with a belt and say "Does God like your actions!?". And I replied with; "No!". They thought I was talking back so they hurt me more :L.
If you don't act like a parent, your kid will most likely grow up on the internet OR other people. Now having a child grow up on the Internet can have really good things come up out of it, like more information and better understanding of the internet (for like jobs), but this should never be a reason to neglect your child
That's basically all of my friends and I. We're doing pretty well in chem now bc of those random ass ted talks and crash courses we liked in the past (they had nice voices).
That being said, being grown on the internet can have very bad things as well, like social awkwardness, not being able to choose what career due to so much information, anxiety towards real life problems, shortsightedness, lack of in person interaction, lack of real world expirience in general. There can be exceptions tho
Parents that are prideful "I know what's best, don't tell me how to parent!" Well, if you weren't doing a shoddy job we wouldn't even have to tell you to stop screaming.
I wish that more parents understood how petty and trivial something like personal pride is when it comes to being a parent. That doesn't mean capitulating to the every whim of a faceless mass of braying naysayers, but it does mean to question your own actions honestly and wonder whether you could be doing things better...
@@Harkz0r i find being a parent endlessly stressful for this very reason. There is ALWAYS. ALWAYS room for improvement and the guilt can eat you alive if you let it.
@@heathertaylor8904 Yeah, I don't doubt it. I'm not a parent myself, so it's easy for me to offer passing comments from the outside. Frankly, I've seen some truly diabolical things, and people that in my opinion should never have had children. At the same time, I know some people may simply be having a bad day and a momentary lapse in judgment. Nobody's perfect. In your position I would probably feel the same way, truth be told. As long as someone is of a mind to want to do the best they can, and are able to take a step back and assess the situation honestly, then that's good enough in my book.
Anytime i ever got yelled at by my parents, I would go in my room cry and used to repeat to myself nobody loves me or cares about me. My mom used to call me a crybaby and anytime I cried. Now I can’t handle anyone even having a harsh tone towards me without balling and then feeling like I’m just a crybaby and I’m crying for no reason.
I'm 16, i have anxiety and maladaptive daydreaming because of my mom. Idk what to do, she hurts me so much sometimes, but i still love her and grateful for everything she did for me. I'm really glad for kids who have healthy relationships with their parents. Just wanted to share with someone
@@VertietRyper haha, that’s crazy. I’m 19 now. I don’t know if things got better honetly, I’m working now and I guess I have better relationship with her, but I’m depressed, at least I know how to live with it. Thank you for asking.
When my parents would argue, I would actually try and solve the situation and participate in the argument, only to be told by both sides that I’m a child.
I was never abused, but every time my parents get in an argument, when I try to say my opinion they tell me to stay out of it and my opinion doesn't matter. I've stopped having many conversations with my parents and I mentally can't be in the same room with them while they're talking without me breaking down. I think that's linked to something else, but I'm not sure.
Children, especially toddlers, are the most receptive people on the planet. What might seem like trivial matters to adults is the world to them, since their brain is still primitive and trying to collect as much information to guarantee survival.
@@purpledefaultpfp6233 the fact that you completely ignored the content of his comment, just to insult him, shows everybody that you are clearly the dumbass. I suggest you delete your comment
i yeet my meat Not really. That’s what babies to toddlers do, they absorb everything around them. Gestures, tone of voice, inflections, accents, attitudes. Why do you think it’s so easy for a kid to learn new things versus some 80 year old?
@@zachanikwano I have a friend who has 2 siblings between the ages of 1-3 years old, and they both can fluently speak English and Arabic. Both languages are backwards to one another as well. I struggled to even learn ASL (American Sign Language) in highschool, and even I am a tactile learner (basically hands on learning)
It's evident by how much they cry. Also their facial expressions is a huge takeaway. All babies can do is communicate though emtions, body language, and facial expressions. maybe others i forgot .
Please parents listen to this man, my parents screaming and emotional abuse ended up causing me to have multiple chronic illnesses from stress at an early age. They had unresolved trauma and serious anger issues and would take it out on my and my sibling a lot, trust us we do notice it
Interesting fact: Most abusive parents where abused. So if you are a Father or Mother and you had an abusive childhood don't treat your children badly because you don't want them to feel the same you felt.
@@stitchfinger7678 It's not an "excuse" (as if there can be one), it's an explanation. Most people repeat their parents' behavioral patterns almost unconsciously, without a second thought.
My parents ask me why I showed this to them then bring up the time I used to vent to my ex-girlfriend about them until my mom checked my messages and then guilt trip me and then tell me that if I don't think that they're good parents then I should go live with my annoying friends and likely fellow energy-drinkers (I only drank one energy drink in my life and it was months prior to this current event). Here's to hoping my parents don't find my comments on this video.
My parents yelled and screamed at each other all the time... Thanks to that I learned valuable lesson... Relationships are awful never get involved with other people... ever.
I learned that too, but it applied to friends more than significant others. I think I've always looked to a significant other for comfort and support, I crave that stability and validation that I lack from my one parent. But I was only ever able to have a relationship with a significant other. All of my friendships failed because my parents simply don't know how to socialize so I didn't learn right. Plus I was afraid of rejection. To this day (I'm 23), I still struggle with maintaining friendships but am getting a lot better thanks to my lovely girlfriend who is so validating, sweet and supportive, and is socially intelligent so I use her as a model for what a friendship should be. I realize that it's very similar to relationships, but without the romance or sex. It's good to know that I do know how to be a friend, I just have to get over the fear that they will lose interest or reject me. So yeah, childhood trauma is a hard thing to overcome but take it one step at a time and you will get there.
@@nightfire9193 to be honest it was a bit of an attempt at humor. However it is true, but this was only one of so many other reason why I never pursued any sort of relationship in my life as I now approach 40. Most reasons boil down to I believe it's a mistake to ever trust anyone, without that trust you can't ever have a stable relationship. I also can't stand taking/ receiving anything from anyone, because then I feel I have a strong obligation of owing them. So this is why I can never have interactions with other people that are anything but them wanting me to do something for them. So over time people just become a complete hassle to deal with and I avoid interactions whenever possible. I'm not saying that I'm a hermit that lives in a cave somewhere I have a job. I can interact and deal with people as I have to, it's just draining for me to do so.
I learned that too although my parents love each other very much and they’re so fun but when they argue they CAN be brutal but I think it’s mostly because I still don’t understand why two strangers could love each other like kissing and stuff when I think about it it’s weird I understand crushes but when I asked myself if I would ever date my crush I said no because i think of things like what if my loving husband along our marriage turns into a murderer and kills me and what if he cheats which is absolutely UNFORGIVABLE so I’ll just stick to being single but lol I’m just a kid and I don’t really have to worry about this stuff as of now so whatever
I feel like the minute people begin to scream and yell at each other they either need help or they need to get out of each other's lives. It's ridiculous how many people torture themselves in relationships for no reason
In psychology there's a saying "You either become your abuser or you decide that you never want anyone else to feel that way." I had a horrible relationship with my father, he was physically and emotionally abusive towards me and for years now the thought of having a child has horrified me because what if I become like my father? I've only now in recent years have even started to consider the idea of having a child, purely do to the constant reassurance that as long as I'm afraid of becoming him I never will. This video has also led to the reaffirmation that I am extremely grateful to have my Uncle in my life who has served as an amazing example of how kind hearted and caring a male can truly be and it's what I hold onto to give me hope. So thank you for making this video, I'm really glad I stumbled onto your channel.
Not only should you not yell anywhere near a child, you should never speak negatively around them. Especially if you talk crap about your spouse around them. As parents, it is your job to help your child and resolve any problems they might have. Not to create the problems yourself
Exactly. And talking shit about your partner makes children feel like they have to choose a side, that they have to like one or the other, or their relationship with one of the parents will be compromised. It does also appear very self-centered too, when your child constantly hears you talking shit about another person instead of asking them about things that concern them.
This is so very true. I distinctly remember as a kid when my parents were screaming at each other...we would all sit in almost near-silence, waiting for an explosion or the door to burst open or to find out we were to blame, it was our fault...it gave me lasting feelings that the world was unreliable and ugly, gave me the strangest feeling that being a kid was wrong somehow and that being an adult wasn’t any better. It’s hard to describe...but this really resonated with me. I am a parent and a classroom teacher, and I totally get why this is so important. Not that most people will either listen or care. People suck.
Exactly. People don't question this shit because of the everlasting talking point that "you can't judge other people's parenting " I call bullshit. When we've had generations of damaged humans because we haven't gotten better at raising children I ask when will it end? It will end when we can have a discussion on how each and every one of us has failed. And how we can work forward to being better for the kids. If we can't question parenting as a topic. We will continue to create generations of anxious, depressed, non-coping people's.
Anthony Saman - It’s an unfortunate side effect of how we interpret liberty. It means, or has meant for hundreds of years now, the right to parent as you see fit (not in all ways, but in MANY ways). Parents can do a host of things that nobody will do anything about, because there is no way to truly see what’s going on. Children are (and always have been) the single most powerless “minority” on the planet...and while they do have far more agency these days than decades ago...there still is not enough. I’ve seen the evidence so many times of abject neglect and abuse...and there is exactly zero you can do without strong evidence. Strong. Parents literally can get away with nearly murder. They can scream at their child. Hit them. Neglect them. Debase and demean them. I’ve always said: childhood is like this horrible time where you are a human with no power and just sit around waiting for things to happen to you.
My childhood is part of the reason why I want to be a teacher, like you are. If I can make someone else’s childhood just a bit better, rather than kids coming from bad homes to bad teachers who also yell, I’ve done well.
Wookie - Exactly right. That was my experience. I knew I was going to be a teacher when I was in the 4th and 5th grade when the FIRST adult person in my life made me realize (or start to realize) that I was valuable as a person. It was literally a 4th grade science teacher who first truly “saw” me...made me feel like I was worthy of being seen and heard...and gave me a little self esteem. I lived in abject fear and anxiety of the world around me up until that point...and while it didn’t go away overnight, that began a journey of self discovery and self esteem. When I was a child from birth to about 11-12...I viewed the world as an ugly place, a place where I wasn’t safe, I wasn’t worthy of being safe, and that anything that happened to me was just how it was. If you have experienced this, I’m so glad that you survived and that you are well. And I really and sincerely hope that you follow your dream to impact a child’s life. Right now as we write, a child is hating being alive. That breaks my heart. Good luck with your endeavor! ❤️ 👍🏼
OH HECC--- same ._. it fucking sucks and it sucks even more here cuz whenever they say that "WHY DONT YOU APPRECIATE ME MORE??" just makes me feel like shit. bc it makes me feel, as a child who was brought in this world by them, that i should be more appreciative towards them but its fucking hard cuz wth am i supposed to be appreciative for?? u slack off all day and fight with each other when u can for the most pettiest of reasons that i wanna just avoid this place and you if i can TT aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
@@grizzlyaddams3606 you dont know other peoples situations. why do you go around fucking insulting people and talking about your own unrelated experience? wtf?
Not sure if this was on purpose, but after this he basically repeated the last 2 minutes again and the cat interrupted at roughly the same point a second time. The video is great, but if you take repeat sentences out it would be about half as long.
@@TR-gj6xt kinda helps drive some points home though, too. Even if it's unintentional, hearing something twice will probably make you remember it better than hearing it once 🤔
What they think they're teaching: -how to behave What they're actually teaching: -how to listen to footsteps -how to lie on the spot -how to fake signatures -how to manipulate people into claiming down -how to run on 4hours of sleep per week -how to suppress your emotions
If you have kids people, End the cycle, no violence, no controlling behaviour. Do what your parents failed to do which is to create a safe environment for your kids so they can talk to you and therefore be more honest.
My parents have been yelling at each other like CRAZY ever since I was a kid. She’s told me many times she doesn’t love him, and that she forgot to take birth control, then had me. Fun.
my mom tried bullshitting me 'you werent an accident you were a suprise!' now i seem to be weirdly good at seeing when im lied to. then again ive always been a wall flower so that contributes too
I like to go back to the “Rock Egg Ice” (name by me) analogy when people say stuff like this (if someone would like to know what that is then I’ll be happy to explain)
My mom: *gets angry at me for everything, hits my cat and insults the things I love the most* Also my mom: why are you always in your room? Why don't you ever talk to us? Why are you always so irritable??
Tame Doggo lmao, my parents keep saying have to learn everything in the world. Like wtf, the moment I say, “there’s no way a person can learn everything in the world” my dad yells, “ stop being a smart ass!” Don’t they want me to be smart 🤔
and then when you actually use a logical answer thwy say “my house my rules” or “im your mother and because i said so” because they know im right and dont want to be proven wrong
Kids aren’t stupid, they’re learning. They’ll soak up everything around them and behave to what they hear and see.
Kids are stupid in many ways. Often times they do things when taught not to. As a child I understood that putting my hand in a fire would be a stupid thing to do. Yet many of the other kids in my age group did plenty of said stupid things.
The fact is that they didn't learn by taking in information or by understanding simple logic. They learned not to put their hand in the fire by putting their hand in the fire. That's what makes a lot of kids stupid. The thing is. Enough times being burned for stupidity will occasionally make a stupid person think twice and grow smarter. And current modern politics proves that many of those children didn't grow smarter at all.
There are a lot of things children don’t understand; they’re children after all. But they have a unique sensitivity to the unspoken and the emotional like most adults do not. Also Aron, if you make your last name a period it does not show up on your account name.
Yeah we are not stupid. I'm just a self aware ten year old. Yelling doesn't heal my zits or get rid of my TTM. Doesn't do anything but make me sad even though i was being forced to do something I don't want to do.
Kids aren’t intelligent but they are smart
i mean they do swallow detergent and watch tik tok lmao
Parent - *Constantly Screams and throws threats left and right at child
Also Parent - "Why don't you talk to me anymore"
damn must be hard for you kakyoin, you dont have many friends to talk to either
That’s what my said
F for you Kakyoin
Yeah fucking exactly.
exactly my mom
People underestimate kids. Kids are stupid at times, but they're not braindead.
@3ds max you need a nap
3ds max Ok boomer
This, and they'll probably tell you what you want to hear especially if you yell often. They don't want to disappoint you, at least under like age 12.
3ds max
Crazy thought. What if we believed in each other for the betterment of everyone. What if the old taught the young, and vice versa.
What if we tried to understand one another and be out for each other's wellbeing instead of destruction?
Instead of laying constant blame, whining and insulting we were kind to each other. And would give advice like a loving mother or wise father would their sons and daughters? Or caring friend to friend?
Just a crazy thought.
3ds max shut up boomer
"No such thing as bad children, just bad parents." -Fallout 3's Main Protagonist
it’s from a video game but it’s facts
And the bad parents were children themselves with bad parents.
I see you are a man of culture as well
@@Arctic_and_The_F0X to many games got true fax
Fr
I came here to have my Macbook repaired. I left with my childhood trauma having closure.
Good for you man!
floyd willis Lmao, same
@David Sinca when you really want to mention that you have a laptop that is superior to an apple product
Now that's what I call added value.
Life is beautiful brotha👌but also horrible
This is probably the only channel on UA-cam where you can learn how to fix Mac Books, valuable life lessons, riding a bicycle at 19.99999999999MPH, and how to properly wipe your own ass. Thank you Louis.
Honestly, I just found this channel and after this one video, I can tell Louis is a very.. No, there aren’t words to describe how kind and sympathetic he is. He’s an amazing human.
The Walmart of UA-cam videos
This is the first video of his I've watched but I subscribed because of this comment
I can wipe my own ass
@@UnhingedHarry I don't recall which video Louis went on a rant about how to wipe your ass. It was during a repair video, if I remember correctly.
Well-known divorce and child custody lawyer here. Just my two cents: a majority of the the people who need to see this video will not see it or if they do, they will not accept it as truth or acknowledge they are the problem. However, if just one adult sees this video and changes the way they approach how they deal with a child, it was worth it. Great message. Keep up the great work.
I'm gonna raise my kid to be hero gosh dammit.(still a teenager)
CockYaLegS fr
Lol don't listen to these fools pointing fingers instead of accepting they messed up.
@CockYaLegS Explain it.
@CockYaLegS Self-employ yourself lol
"Don't scream around children"
My parents: *Going super saiyan while i try and tune it out*
Relatable
mom: *walks out to the garage*
little kid me: o shit it’s time to put a chair up against my bedroom door and curl into a ball yippeekayaye
I can relate
XD
There go blue
If kids can pick up single curse words they can pick up arguments too.
Cue videos such as the "listen Linda" video.
Or just get ten times the beating
It's a fine line to walk. You want to be calm around your children, but they NEED to be exposed to conflict. Maybe not irrational yelling, but they need to know that conflict happens between people, and that resolving it quickly is the most rewarding way. If they aren't exposed to to conflict (and I suppose to a small degree even yelling), they may be shocked when it happens in front of them, and not know how to handle it. You don't want to shelter your children, or you just end up with a fragile millenial.
@Xev what does them liking kpop have to do with any of this?
Xev is respecting someone’s music taste just *that* hard for you?
_It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men._
- Frederick Douglass
@Precious Obaji ?? he knows what about being a man?
Precious Obaji But you brought it up so tell us your “research”. But we all know that “do your research” is an excuse for people like you.
@Precious Obaji Are you a female by any chance? If not, tell us what Peterson taught you and how it went when applied to your life.
@Precious ObajiI am good, trust that. There are no issues with me and I grew up with a deadbeat dad living in the same house as me.
I nearly became a pro soccer player by myself, was not driven to practice, no one came to watch games etc. didn't make it in the end. Now done with IT bachelors 5 years later with 3.3 ish GPA. no financial support so I worked parttime and now about to land 70K job in a month or two if all goes well with interviews and that. 24 yo atm(Norway)
I've watched JP but what he says is things I already realised as a youngin. Parents are not perfect, you got to get things on your own and don't play victim because you'll get no where with that.
Precious Obaji Baby girl who is a man?
The sad thing is, the people who need to see this video will never see this video
This stuff should be an advertisement
@@grizzlyaddams3606 I guess you disagree huh
@@grizzlyaddams3606 I hope you don't talk to your kids like that
Because they're not open to these ideas... How can we become more open to dealing with our own issues? & How can we help others to be more open as well?
@@grizzlyaddams3606 I feel like you’ve never heard the saying “You don’t need to be a chef to know the food tastes bad”
Also psychologists and stuff exist
I'll NEVER raise my kids the same way my parents raised me
Neither. I drilled that into my 4 siblings.
make sure you don’t accidentally do 180 and do the complete opposite of what your parents did, because in my expirenev the opposite of something bad usually ends up being equally bad. For example my parents were raised in a very religious & strict environment, their parents were always watching them and gave them no free will as they were always kept on a tight schedule. So my parents raised my 4 siblings and I in a way that I consider to be the complete opposite during our childhood and teen hood there was absolutely no rules, no regulations and no structure.....sometimes it felt like we didn’t have parents at all just to adult friends that never seemed to be around...and well in the end almost all five of us turned out to be highschool drop outs, criminals and druggies.
Anyway If you do end up having children, then I suggest you try and find a happy medium...don’t let your trauma blind you to reason, I’ll try my best too.
Same
@@donni6315 Same shit happened to me other than my parents didn't do 180s on the actual abuse parts. No rules, no nothing, other than extremely high expectations, but still physical and mental abuse and parentification for ages.
Always good to remember you can have an entirely non strict household that still enforces some schedule and healthy interaction between parents and kids. Growing up without any routine, schedule, or parental figures (aside from those I grew to distrust) was shit.
Never say never
"children do not want to be a burden to the people who support them." This is so unbelievably true
Ye that's how I feel...
Ben Lawson yeah, but they just are inevitably a burden and cause problems, but we shouldn’t treat them like a burden, and they don’t want to be a burden, but can’t help it, I’m realizing adults have major issues with children being children whether not paying attention, getting their clothes slightly dirty to filthy, having no attention span, being obsessed with cartoons/games, not liking school, breaking things, etc. I would say I understand where this comes from, because we have forgotten our childhood and who we were back then
no its not true
I remember that always being my one huge fear. It's what I feel led to me having such bad anxiety, cause I always felt like a burden as a small child so I unconsciously dedicated my time to my friends through my teenage years to make sure they didn't think I was a burden.
@@colorblindgiraffe8114 Not eating alot, or finishing all your food and even eating food that was probably past expiration. Never asked for anything even though I may have needed it (feminine products) I'd make it last as long as humanly possible. Didn't bath much (cause we were poor) to avoid using alot of water. I remember when school happened, I'd pick up every pencil I saw on the floors, not really use my school supplies so I could have it for next year, "borrowed" a handful of library books cause I used to love reading. Kids do alot to do what they think will help their parents, especially to not feel like a burden.
This dude is fixing a lot more than electronics here
Facts
@@thebluedot4728 lol, you think these people who scream outside in front of people are gonna listen to what he has to say? Those are the kind of people that would scream back at you telling you "HOW DARE YOU TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY CHILD!!!".
Damn right, this dude is not your average repair man.
Ok not saying you should yell around your child I'm saying just that hiding the fact that your realtionship isn't perfect from your child will result in a unrealistic expectation for there future partner
@@TannisJett Or it will teach them to avoid broken people.
i remember my mom saying "we fight around you so you know what real relationships are like." and thats just telling me abusive and toxic relationships are ok, which they are not...
That’s sick. Take note on what a real *bad* relationship is like. You got this chief.
It's the "misery loves company" approach to Parenthood...
No lady, you fight around your kids because _you_ don't know what a real relationship looks like.
@GoogleCensorsTheTruth 34 what is it like to be such a miserable person that you call children morons on the internet?
grow up.
I think your mom was trying to say that fights take place cause like communication and other stuff but delivered it so wrong. The issue is a child won't look into things THAT deep and obviously theres an issue if the kid didnt see the parents make up and forgive
Fighting is not abusive and toxic relationship. Don't conflate the two
"I was always beaten as a kid and I grew up fine" says an adult with anger issues
YeP-
"Just because you were abused as a kid, doesn't give you an excuse to abuse your kids"- someone on reddit who I aspire to be
My father was abused badly but he is the best dad I could ever ask for. I’m sorry that’s happening to you Noah.
@@dreamgal558 and the other phrase
I always helped my parents when I grew up key word I
I'm not you okay mom leave me to be happy I want to learn how to bake so yea if I don't finish school i can always be a baker okay mom?
Who gives there kid anger issues
A lot of people (Karen) say “don’t tell me how to raise my kids” this guy isn’t telling you what to do when you are raising your kids, he is telling you why what you are doing is wrong. Two totally different things.
Totally, it's not telling you how to raise your kids. It's telling you how to raise a human
@LG 96 thats called the gamers group
Yes, I know a person like that. Those people are inherently selfish and always make the conversation about them.
we aren't here to fight,we are here to understand us
6 to to to to to to to to to ⁶
This guy is like your young uncle that has been through many alleys of life and is already quite weary of the world's lot of nonsense and absolutely won't sit around and not talk about it constructively and compassionately.
I wish I could relate. 2 of my uncles are dead, one of drug abuse and the other of falling off a ladder, and the other two are either emotionally unstable or a hot-headed Gen-X liberal not afraid to rant about whatever comes to mind.
Watching this video at looking at the comments is like looking at a mirror
I haven’t even met most of my uncles yet
My uncle is just a simp for girls and is leaching of his own mother she almost has nothing left because of him
I would take him as an uncle IN A HEARTBEAT. My uncle is very abusive and would make me cry everyday multiple times. He would scheme to get me in trouble and make his kids look good. It was always MY fault and if i said the truth about their kid that was bad they would say "Well i believe my kids and they said they didnt.". He messed me up soo much i cant see myself the same anymore. Im not happy anymore because of his abuse. So having an uncle who actually cares about me would be a miracle.
There are adults who yell at children to release their own stress...I hate my father.
i hate reddit
If you can now, try to get into some kind of therapy or even talk to a school counselor. If you're scared of getting your parents into trouble like I was or can't go to counseling, make sure you do it when you're an adult
I understand how hard it is being so young and feeling helpless, get it taken care of as soon as possible. It'll help you when you get older, I've let myself be held back in life because I didn't want to help myself and want someone to do it for me or have no motivation
If you're a young man you should especially get help, men are most likely to commit suicide and often have issues expressing themselves. They think they can just force themselves to get over it or make themselves better with sheer will
It's okay to be hurt, it's okay to cry and it's okay to be a tough guy just make sure you get help now so you can not only heal but also not stunt yourself as an adult
@Joshua Fancher Same goes for you, and everyone else in this comment section. Make sure you get yourself help or counseling
@@a79919 Thank you for your input, but I should state that I'm 24 years old, and taking college courses.
This sort of business is something few others know about me.
At this point I have to play it safe as I still reside in his house. I'll seek therapy/counseling once I can move out and find myself in a "safe-situation". As for now, the only comfort I get is when he leaves for work for long periods of time.
@@YowLife Oops! 🤣 I understand what you mean, I'm in a similar situation. Hopefully you can get a good job with your degree and get yourself well needed help, I know how hard it is feeling like you're trapped. Even though there's not much I can do to help anyone, I hope you can take comfort in knowing you're not alone
Your children are their own individuals, not your carbon copies.
I hate when my parents would always be like "when I was your age I--" and in my mind id always be like "well I'm not you okay??"
@@portgasdann3389 Hit them with the "I'm sorry for being myself" card
My mom’s always like, “Why are you so quiet, when I was your age, I had lots of friends and talked to much.”
@@limink7558 "Because you're not me, mom"
@@portgasdann3389
They aren't telling you to be like them. They are saying, that you are being lazy, and not doing the productive things you COULD be doing.
And in vast majority of cases, they are absolutely right.
"Everyone knows how to make babies but no one knows how to make dads" - Stromae
This needs way more likes.
Any fool can give birth but only a real woman to be a mother.
Papaoutai
@@leaillex yes 👌👌
Papaoutai really got to me
This guy would make a pretty good therapist
ikr
except for the fact that he hates people
I love your icon
Id say psychologist rather
it would be nice to have a therapist like him. there’s just no one i feel like i can talk to not even my parents or my friends
My parents know that the kids understand. But my step fathers theory is "well trauma makes it easier for children to adapt to the real world. They need some level of trauma." To me that's bullshit. You can teach your child to adapt to the real world without verbally abusing them.
if there's anything mp100 taught me, it's that trauma is never a shortcut to teaching someone to learn jfc
won't stop other people from doing it.
My parents said the same. Apparently destroying someone physical and mental health through an entire lifetime of abuse was "a gift I would thank them for one day" yea right. It ruined my life and all potential I had. I can barely even get out of bed I'm so unhealthy and sick all the time.
These parents had bad childhood as well and want their children experience the same instead of breaking the cycle
I still haven't adapted to the real world and I've been traumatized my whole life.
whenever a kid does something wrong, their first thought should be "i'll call my parents!" not "i can't let my parents find out about this!".
@Thunder Life i did the same in most situations.
When I was about 10-11 years old, I slipped on some ice and smashed my face and teeth. I was bleeding quite badly. My first thought was to go to the local store to get help rather than home to my parents. IIRC I thought they'd scream at me and scold me.
@@xucthclu aiden?
@@bleak9157 No, sorry.
found the kid^
"Don't scream around children"
My parents: *yelled at eachother every single day until I left the house*
I assume they are divorced now....?
Oof, sounds like you were treated as the problem for them :(
or are you impling that since you moved out you are relieved that you no longer have to hear yelling? :)
In anyway, I hope your life is better! God bless you!
relate
i feel this
It made me feel like I was the problem
Most people do not realize that most of the world’s problems can be solved by raising children competently
3ds max exactly!! It’s not for everyone and that is totally fine
3ds max yeah I think the issue there is stupid people don’t use protection and then they’re the ones who end up with kids 🤣🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
The western world pushes a narrative of
Graduate get a job get married have kids and they will do the same and then you die
It’s not a lifestyle for everyone.
3ds max - Right, if you’re not going to treat your child right, then don’t have any.
@3ds max especially the people that like to pop one out every month. There's no reason what so ever to want to have 15 kids.
You know what I do whenever my parents yell at each other or fight for no reason? I pick up my little brother, go outside or to the other room, and try to distract him as much as possible. Since he is still a child, I would do anything to not let the screams of my parents get to him. I can see it in his eyes how scared and confused he becomes. And I always promise myself that I will never grow up to be like them. Never.
hey, i hope you and your brother is doing okay..
Literally me but with my cousin. He's now more open to me about stuff than even his own parents. I can tell that he appreciates me doing it. Keep doing what you're doing man, good shit
god fucking dammit i wish i had someone like you as a kid i do know thank god but i feel like if i had her sooner i’d be different
ahhhh i feel you. same thing with my mom and her bf and her ex (my dad) and i have a little sister that i try to get away from all that. i don’t want her to grow up like how i did.
I go on my computer and play it’s gotten better tho
He is more angry at parents then he is at Apple, and it speaks volumes..
Ulquiorra Cifer i love you
Oof that made me laugh kinda
You are fully correct... Damn it... Now I remember the time when my mom almost left us during an argument between her and my oldest brother... I was maybe scared and afraid for unknown reason...
@@genderlesstoast6633 but is completely true
Ulquiorra Cifer *bad parents
my crippling social anxiety and emotional dissociation: explained
Yeah... as much as it pains me to say it, I think a lot of my problems stem from the fights my parents had when I was a child. I still love them and I know they love me, they’ve also not been getting into loud fights as much as they used to. Still though, the damage has been done.
Here at 69 likes
@@soulthesassyassassin3616 same
Trust issue, misunderstanding, and and anti-socal (plus more self-doubt)
i feel like i have social anxiety but my mom told my sailing teacher: "oh she has social anxiety, *just normal (age) year old things!* "
like bro what
I have no idea who this guy is but I already respect him more than people I've spent years with.
Agreed.
Me too.
Facts
Same, this is the first video I've seen from him.
-Scout- the Invincible same
My mom was a bully to my dad. Constantly insulting his intelligence and talking shit about him to me and my sisters. And we believed her.She made him out to be the bad guy. Often in fights she would accuse him of being abusive, but my dad never touched any of us. I remember him trying to calm her down and reason with her and my mom threatening to call the police because he was abusive. Once I realized that my mom was not being good to me I realized all the fucked up things she did to my dad. I feel guilty for ever believing that my dad was the bad guy, when he’s the biggest victim out of all of us.
what a devil she is. disgusting. i feel sorry for you.
I can relate to your situation a lot 😔 hope your dad is in a better situation now
This is a very jesse lee peterson story. I'm really glad you shared. It's usually that dynamic that drives one or the other to do such insane things.
Both my parents are like that to each other 😬
Did you ever have the opportunity to talk to your father about it? You probably have, but I know he would appreciate it a lot. There are too many unfit parents in the world. Maybe I should be glad I haven't had the opportunity to risk somehow becoming one of them.
I recently took that advice of treating infants like normal people. So I started playing with my nephew that was a year and a half. My idea was pointing a different ball and saying the color of the ball. I decided to start with red and green. So I took all of the red balls he had and repeated the word red, giving him time to respond. He clearly understood that I was talking about the color. I then went on with the green balls, and he said green for his first time! I then told him to pick up the "reds" for me. He put all of the red balls in a basket. Kids are geniuses, they just don't have an obvious way to trasmit that without language.
Yeah, true man. They just lack the motor and communication skills, have you seen babies getting frustrated and angry when they cant do something. That means that in their mind they know what to do but they lack motor skills
@@almir7896 You laugh but that's literally me trying to draw animals and life forms. I know what I want the picture to look like, I just don't have the motor skills to do it.
Glad to hear it. Teaching small kids colors and shapes are super important. I you wan't to go next level, you can try teaching them "prepositions of place" at the same time.
7esl.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/Untitled-design-3-2.jpg
i live by this quote "kids are just adults with less experience."
Or adults are just self entitled kids
Why don’t you have a seat?
You... _live_ by this quote? Sounds funny, but maybe you've got some mindblowing way of explaining it.
@@Bootheater1 not necessary. He's right. If they had the ability and experience to make adult decisions they would but, as it is, they cannot. It sounds like excusing pedophelia if you look at it the wrong way, but the true point is "if you knew about this or could handle it yourself you would, but I know you can't so I have to be patient with you". Pedophelia is the epittome of impatience, to put it mildly.
Kids are just minisized drunk adults
*Parents who cannot recognise their own flaws are the worst parents of all*
Especially when the reason is their lack of brain cells
Aedrim and regular morality
Isn’t that every parent?
My mom couldnt admit when she was wrong so i just didnt listen to her
@@FrogEnjoyer17 no.
I think it's appalling that in this day and age we still have to remind people of things like "children are people too". -.-
Exactly! But the counter argument is "don't judge other people's parenting" "don't judge other people's parenting cuz you aren't in their shoes".
But it's like we have so many generations of people who have had negative experiences from their parents. When will it end? And you are exactly right. One of the key components is that we don't view children as people. Some view them as property. Some view them as pets. Some view them even as slaves. One of my friends had a mom who basically told them "I gave birth to you now you owe me. Clean up this mess I made in the house".
The people in these scenarios usually aren't right in the head, they don't care about doing a good job, or raising a child right. They just want to raise the child, any way they -can- want.
@@pluto8404 You'd have to find some _extreme_ abortion activists to find hear someone say you should be able to get one at nine months.
Not just in this day and age, things have always been pretty shitty for kids. But as it has become easier and easier to spread information I think people are slowly begging to see what's wrong with there current mindset (just look how the general perception of things like racism has changed).
@@incognitoburrito6020 yeah I agree. That's an extreme case. And I don't think any woman would wait 8 months to think about aborting. Those kinds of things happen only if there is a severe complication and death is the better option for the mother or for the baby. Idk what those are granted. But still shows the extremeness of that situation
I am a father of 8 children - you convicted me. You are a good man and your voice is important- if not for your audience- for their most precious treasures. I didn’t expect this from a cat owning apple technician- I am humbled and grateful.
this makes me happy
"cat owning apple technician" is such a hilariously misleading yet accurate description of Louis.
Why 8 childern? 1 is enough, 2 is okay and 3 to much for somebody to being well off, cash wise. Above 4 and you can never treat your childern emotionally equally. But its your life, anyways.
Why 8? Why even 1? I appreciate you treating them "well", but why birth them in the first place? That is so selfish.
What do you mean he "convicted" you? Does that mean you were in jail?
Take this from a kid that grew up around constant fights and arguments:
we notice
we know what's going on
we just don't know *why*
Isabella Malczynski and when you don’t know why, you assume it’s normal. And when you assume it’s normal, then you copy it. And then your children copy you. And it keeps going until someone Is the better parent.
My siblings act like they forgot about the spousal abuse the father did to the mother while blaming me for shits.
and we blame ourselves
jokes 101 i’m 13 and i am so sorry u have to go through this like i understand since i’m going through kinda the same but i really hope everything gets better
@@aquaticangel3380 True. The so-called "cycle of abuse". I'm so glad to be out of this toxic family system. I went completely No Contact with most of my relatives. And they can keep arguing about their toxic nonsense all they want. I won't be a part of it.
Parents be like "Why don't you ever tell me anything?!?"
Kid: *tells them something*
Parent: *explosive_anger.jpg*
yyuammie my parents lol
Holy shit I'm 23 and still deal with this.
Kid: starts doing drugs
My relationship with my parents summarized in one post.
literally
kids pick up a lot. if you're arguing 3 rooms away through closed doors and they even hear the tiniest hint of a raised voice, they will notice it and flick over to conflict mode in their heads. they'll stop doing whatever they were doing and sit there quietly listening to anything they can hear. they will sit there in silence for minutes after just listening desperately to make sure they can't hear any more shouting. like louis I remember doing this very early on the couple of times I heard shouting adults, usually a friend's house I was staying in. I would get very distressed deep down inside and stop whatever I was doing and sit there feeling like shit the entire time. it felt like they were yelling at me, or at least about me, even though it had nothing to do with me. the same goes for anyone who raises their voice in public. people shout at eachother for absolutely nothing. the fact that they do it at all is ridiculous but that they do it around their kids and other peoples kids too is so much worse.
hey desinc got this video in reccomendations, too!
Oh man... I remember this. So many times. I would always rather get out of bed (than stay in bed) and go tell my mother to calm down when she was drunk again and arguing with my (not drunk) dad. I would always wait until she went to sleep, so I could sleep, because otherwise I couldn't. But every time she said she's going she would get up to drink some more. I eventually got used to it by the time I was a teenager but even then, I wouldn't be able to be calm if they were arguing, I'd have to intervene every time. I think it's one of the reasons I can't keep up a healthy and regular sleep schedule because of how often it happened.
Sorry if it's not okay to share this on here but it's on topic.
This brought up an extremely personal moment for me that is so vivid and clear as day that I can remember what it smelt like, where I was if I was sitting or standing, and what the context was for the argument. I was on the third floor of the house and I could hear my dad, in his car parked in the driveway yelling at my mother and I just stopped and pressed my ear to the wall and listened for what felt like an eternity. A lot of why I am the way I am today makes so much more sense seeing a video like this. I'm not going to let this happen to my future kids, no fucking way in hell.
@@mewk3213 Sometimes it gives me hope to think that, once we are done with dealing with whatever mental health problems we might have (at least I have those), I think people like us would make great parents. I know from experience with my cousins I'm good with kids and they like to hang around me, but I also know when to tell them to stop and they respect that. I think there is a very easy way to earn the respect of children while at the same time give them freedom and remain calm and relaxed. You shouldn't give a 3 year old an army training where you just yell at them. I wish more parents realized that, however I understand it can be easy to forget when you're so occupied and busy in your life.
Kids can't reverse bhop out of a crumbling household.
My dad was a shouter when I was a kid. He used to get into these insanely loud and terrifying shouting matches with my mother. I remember being 5 and feeling like it was an earthquake. To this day I don't trust either of my parents to be close to me emotionally.
Relatable i think its also the fact that some parents just because they spend money on children they have a right to be abusive both physically and emotionally
I can relate thanks for sharing!
When I got older and was going through personal issues , and they could see it and they would ask me to tell them what's going on, and that "I could share with them" I will never share jack shit with them. I'm so mentally fucked up because of them. I grew up in a bilingual home and the first words I remember speaking in my mother younger were curse words
Warning rant: I just need to get this off my chest.
My nephew (via marriage) is in this position... my partner and I can't build up any relationship with him, because whenever he's near us his parents FLIP out, particularly my SIL. She yells at him about __everything__! Even when it's very hot, he's not allowed to cool his feet off, if he so much as has the sniffles. BUT there are never any consequences-there's no difference between him running in the street and splashing water in the garden. Just yelling. He never gets positive attention. My SIL yells at my BIL and constantly undermines him. So my BIL isn't allowed to take him anywhere alone. So he doesn't he only takes his sons to their grandparents as soon as he has to actually "deal" with them. My BIL and SIL constantly yell at each other-- not helped by the fact that my BIL is not neurotypical. My SIL is neurotic--she cleans the house from top to bottom every 2 days, but she doesn't play with her kids--she doesn't snuggle them or sing to them. Neither does my BIL.
We always have to make special accommodations for them, because they scream and embarrass us in front of the neighbors. I don't want to go out to places with them for the same reason. At 4.5 years old my nephew can't actually speak--he just parrots what other people say, or he'll say mean things. He can't use the toilet, he's _still_ in diapers. He is so insecure and wants to get other people to yell, so that he can see that his parents "are normal". Their pediatrician said that he is not hitting important milestones and so his parents switched doctors, because they refuse to believe that they are damaging their son. Now his younger brother is approaching the "terrible twos" and he'll start being yelled at. It is freaking tragic. I feel so helpless. :(
Edit: formatting
Relatable. My father used to (and still does from time to time) shout at me for the most banal things because he's a bit of a perfectionist, and me being clumsy. Couple of years ago when my aunt lent me to drive her car before I bought my own car, I went to drive around the villages in my area, and I scratched the front of the car somewhere. I was too afraid to tell him because he will yell at me, but he ended up noticing it and he yelled at me to the point that I was in tears and almost destroyed my driving license. Thankfully my aunt scolded him, and he apologized to me afterwards. I know it was my fault not telling him, but from my past experiences I was too afraid to tell him because of past experiences.
Parents did not learn how to talk about emotions when they were young, so they yell. The cycle perpetuates.
That's honestly really depressing to hear, but it's the truth.
honestly im afraid ill turn out like that
I don’t even want to have kids because I feel scared or uncomfortable I don’t know as someone is isnt an adult yet and doesn’t want to, I find pregnancy messed up even if it’s just a normal thing
birdpills just don’t have kids then and be careful with your relationships. I think that’s the best advice possible
Underrated comment.
Parents: why don’t you tell me anything? Oh, it must be those damn phones.
It might be that I feel like my feelings aren’t valid
eternal fire13 I’m here with you. 😔 Our feelings are very valid even if it doesn’t feel like it
Parents: whats the problem?
You: You
Parents: *deflects responsibility or gets defensively angry*
_Two weeks later_
Parents: whats the problem?
You: ...
Parents: you don’t tell me anything :(
Oh my god Becky That’s literally what my dad did on an extreme level and it fucked me up for years even when I stopped living with him except he caused the problems
@azfadel very true, some people dont want to be shy but they are scared of what other people think
I think I have bad anxiety because of my parents yelling all the time. Yelling and loud people and loud stuff in general make my anxiety go whoop upwards
yeehawbuster ‘ that’s basically a form of ptsd has past memories wreak havoc on you when something triggers it havoc being anxiety(and or attacks)
Now I just hate loud people
Same. I'm scared of my dad since forever, his voice doesn't help. Even if he raises it just a tiny bit to warn me about something or because I couldn't hear him, I stay in shock for, like, two minutes. Normal scolding gets me scared and thinking about it for months. Sorry for the vent
same. Sometimes I get yelled at for just asking a question.
Yeah I used to be loud and love loudness but after my parents got in this yelling war I started getting quieter and soon enough I get huge anxiety bursts when I hear them laughing because I think their going to start up again
it's annoying when your parents tell you something and you reply "ok", then they say "don't you "ok ok" me!" wtf am i supposed to say? yes sir?
usually parents like mine(of course, both of them, yikes) always think they're high and mighty, we children must address them properly like :
"yes, mom."
"i listen and obey all your words, mother."
yes, that's what my mother told me how to reply to her.
Sean William :D i thought i was the only one it’s so weird and honestly infuriating 😭
@@iman7026 haha pretty sure there are a lot of people who have the parents like that
Sean William :D true, unfortunately
@Aura Darkskipper lol that's really weird, isn't it?
I believe children understand tone rather than words, like I can remember my parents arguing but not what it was about.
This comment hits me hard. When i was a little kid, i would tell my dad that i didn't like it when him and mom argued, and he would always ask me "what were we arguing about?" I never had an answer because i really didn't know. I never knew why he asked me this every time either.
@@Caveman_brain because he is a piece of shit who answers your question with a question so he never has to self reflect on his shitty behaviour. Parents fucking made you, so they legally own you as property and are entitled to you as far as they are concerned.
Good rule of thumb is 7-11-18
Every....
7 years = consciousness shift
11= intelligence shift
18= life shift
Children are vulnerable, but not powerless. They do not operate like "small adults" they are children they are entirely different kinds of beings.
@@standingpineapple6651 Children aren't disabled, they aren't stupid, and they aren't smart. They're foreigners who are learning your language, your culture, your values, and more all to fit in. They are also freeloaders, whether the law protects their status as freeloaders or not (it does) they're freeloaders. NOBODY likes being treated as less than. Regardless of age. A child's learning curve is sharper than any knife on Earth, and they WILL pick up on things in their environment, given an amount of time. The reason children go independent is partly because they resent the way they're treated as children. If you give your kids everything they could ever want and they get used to having everything without being a burden, they lose any sense of value you've taught them, and their work ethic goes out the window. You can also sabotage their work ethic by simply not rewarding their hard work. You can get away with rewarding a job poorly done or done with low effort, but you'll scar them if you don't reward their hard work. Of course work ethic can improve after getting screwed, but it takes a heavy reality check and short term goals WITH REWARDS.
I'm currently retraining my work ethic after getting absolutely destroyed by school dumping my scores because they don't agree with me politically and/or don't like me. IDK how it's going but I'd hate all forms of writing if it weren't for discovering a love (not gift since I suck) for telling stories, and by extension, writing stories. I feel I'm making progress, and in my first job I gave what my supervisor called "Above and Beyond customer experience" at Six Flags after an audit found I was compliant with safety standards (one person in my unit wasn't and was immediately let go).
My earliest memories are from when I was 3~4 yo and they involved pre-K and some hijinks from shared custody across multiple households. My earliest bad memory was from about the 1st grade when my mother moved back into my father's house and they immediately started having problems. When the shouting could be in a parkinglot or driveway, I didn't hear much but as soon as they were confined to a house, it was e v e r y w h e r e.
Personal advice - if you can afford to, invest in a family counselor to talk to weekly. Don't just try one when problems start happening because somebody will question the authority and nothing will happen. If you can gain mutual trust, it's an asset in family health and child growth. Not to mention it's someone the kid will feel comfortable talking to about things that they fear they can't tell their parents.
@@DSiren I'm not sure anyone is a "gifted" writer, or artist. The ones who seem like they are spent years writing crap.
My Mom: As long as you aren’t paying rent your opinion doesn’t matter.
Also my Mom: wHy DoN’t YoU tElL mE aNyThInG!!!!
fr
She isn't entirely wrong, and isn't entirely right.
Not entirely wrong because yes, while you are living in her house, you must live by her rules.
Not entirely right because a parent should encourage a child to voice his/her thoughts. Within reason.
Wait you guys are allowed to have opinions on what to do with your life?
GhastTearGal ` 50/50, because it’s a law here lol
@@ragged2233 o h
"Talking to him like an adult" aka: treatings smol humans as humans, not as baby kittens.
This video reminds me of a quote I heard once about verbal child abuse. It was something like "I may not remember what you said, but I remember the way you made me feel".
Parent: why don’t you tell us anything?
Child: *tells parent something*
Parent: *goes on one hour rant about how the child’s opinion is wrong and the child has no right to feel this way because they are too young*
Exactly. You say anything and it backfires. You don't say anything and you're scrutinized. There's no third option.
“What do you have to be depressed about” - My “ parental guardian “ after screaming in my face for almost 2 straight hours.
This is why I dont even talk to my parents about personal issues anymore. I tell them that the way they raised me was wrong(I got hit alot growing up) was wrong. Then they get defensive and say crap like "you are who you are becauss of ME!" Parents take credit for their kids success, but will never acknowledge their mistakes.
@@angelgjr1999 *"you are who you are becauss of ME!"* I wonder how many parents who thinks like that knows that it means that they're also one the reasons that their child is broken.
Aka because they are aware of bad consequences.
sometimes I think about how my mom read my suicide note, and instead of consoling me like a regular human being, she told me that the reason I cant do anything right was because I'm lazy, and totally not from the depression she gave me from taking out her anger on me.
I did not ask to be conscious. my soul did not ask to be put into a body for you to police and use as a stress reliever. I do not owe you anything for being born.
there are nice people on www.reddit.com/r/depression/ while you have en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depression_(mood) not en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_depressive_disorder you should be able to fight it, I believe in you!
(⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
You look like you need some love, take as much as you want! I hope you get better soon and I hope you have a good day or night.
My parents also said stuff similar to that I never cry in front of anyone I’ve only cried in front of them once Bc I couldn’t hold it back and I was called crybaby for months it’s like they don’t really care anymore because I always get good grades Buhh stoped caring which I don’t mind buh I was running for president they just say don’t cry when you loose jokes on them I won so look for people that’ll bring you up instead of toxic people
I when I i tried to commit suicide and they caught me they took all my technology and told me How hard their life is, told how I should go up for for adoption, Screamed at me A LOT and didn't talk to me for a week. (there was also other stuff I don't want to say)
And now they contsantly make jokes how I'm going to "tattle tale" To the school board or become a drug addict
I’m gonna ask my teacher to play this in class (maybe schoolwide). There’s no point in trying to change our parents, it’s too late for that, but what we can do is warn the ones that are going to become the next generation of parents.
We must be better for our kids. So they don't end up with the scars that generations before us have suffered and passed on.
It's not being a snowflake however. it's being a good parent.
it's not a right of passage to be yelled at, whipped with a belt, a chancla, or a stick. It's not a right of passage to have emotional scars of having rough relationships with your family. We shouldn't seek to create tough situations just because we admire those who have prevailed over their own struggles.
@@jedimaster0667 "Only the savage regard the endurance of pain as a measure of worth." - Chesire Cat
@@MrMegaL0N3 Alice's Madness Return is such an amazing game.
@@NIHIL_EGO Absolutely. Glad to hear from a fellow fan of the franchise.
"Don't scream around your children"
My parents: *We're gonna pretend like we didn't hear that*
my parents: we're going to go scream at each other in the next room so we don't hear that
Subham Roy I hate that I laughed at that
I grew up this way. I started my teaching career yelling the same way. I didn't realize it was a problem until my bosses and coworkers called me out. I still don't think it's a big deal, but I'm willing to avoid yelling as much as possible.
Microbio S kinda ignorant of you
no cap
The only time you should be screaming around children is when you're having fun.
i don't get it could you please explain :T
@@firestar3963 Rollarcoasters. Concerts. Stuff like that, where it isn't at someone.
_WOOOOOOOOOOOO_
@@firestar3963 like screams of joy and fun, like playing hide and seek and the kid gets found and you say Rawr and then tickle them
*i took that the wrong way-*
Im sure if you showed this video to your parent, you'll get a lecture for being "disrespectful."
anamatronic gamer
If i saw people disrespecting their child and i was close to their child, don't think for a second i wouldn't show them this.
nah, my mum is open minded, if she didn't understand she'd at least try to.
@Just another basic burnt potato FELT THAT
Or you’d get the whole “oh you don’t have children. You don’t understand”
People who disliked this probs scream at their kids, smh.
@@jamesgregorygulledge1598 Rather, I think adults never have truly "Grown Up" ... ya know, despite telling yourself that you're older and more mature every birthday that comes, you don't really feel any different. We all still are like children deep down no matter how old we are.
"Well my parents screamed at me and I turned out just fine!!!"
@@violentviolet26 The kid said, while loading his AK-47.
@@violentviolet26 This. This is exactly the type of mentality people need to get rid of. Like, no, you're screaming at a small child. A. Small. Child. How is that, in any way, "fine"?
@@tzeningloh3034 ahahahahaaaaa my mom screams at my three year old sister
she gets in her face and screams and cusses
I dont know how often it happens when im gone
I've had the privilege of growing up in a loving household with level-headed parents, but it seems like almost everyone else in my area is part of an abusive family and it's honestly sickening. I've been going to this dance studio for about eight years now, and the mothers who like to use their kids' extracurriculars as social hangouts constantly gossip about how awful and annoying their kids are, whether it's behind their backs or right in front of them. Literal toddlers are yanked by the arms and yelled at on a daily basis. The threat of beatings is commonplace; often mothers discuss the various objects they like to chase their children with and/or throw at them.
The topic is even used for comedy. Last week, the co-owner of the studio got mad at her nine-year-old daughter because she didn't want to take this class and eventually got so fed up that she yanked her out of the room. I nervously asked my friend if she thought she was going to hit her, and she giggled a little and said, "Oh yeah, probably," followed by a few more giggles from the girls around us. Then she said, "Yeah, my mom always says she's going to beat me, but when we get home we just laugh it off. Now if my DAD says he's going to beat me, then I'm in big trouble!" The girls around us laughed lightly as the co-owner came back with her daughter. The girl was rubbing her cheek and wiping tears out of her eyes, obviously having been slapped. It wasn't nearly as bad as some of the other things I've heard her mother brag about doing to her (throwing shoes at her, beating her with one of those wooden spoons you stir pasta with), but it still was just so depressing to see. I've seen so many children talk casually about getting beaten and their abusers/enablers of said abusers joking directly with them about getting beaten, and it's horrifying to see everyone so desensitized and even approving of this behavior.
Another thing that I've noticed ever since I was very little was the threat, "If you don't stop acting up, I'm gonna call your daddy." Those words strike such terror into young children around where I live, and I never fully understood why until recently. Imagine being so terrified of someone you live with and see on a daily basis that you can go from bawling and screaming to completely stone-faced in a split second just to avoid him knowing you were crying. AT THREE YEARS OLD.
And it's honestly cowardly of me to not do anything about it. Here I am, preaching about how immoral and inhumane this all is, while I just sit and watch as a mother slaps her daughter repeatedly and violently on the arm for not handing her something quickly enough. But, and I know this is such a pathetic thing to say but I still feel like it has some merit anyway, what can I do? I'm a quiet, fifteen year- old girl whose family is an outsider because my parents are from the north; I'm not buddy-buddy with the teachers like some of my peers, I don't like causing conflict, and the adults are ridiculously stubborn, dense, and aggressive, who would probably beat all of their students if it wasn't against the law. I know this isn't about me, but I always feel like I'm walking the line between being too cowardly to take a stand against these people, and not having any of the resources needed to actually do that.
Anyway, my heart goes out to anyone who has ever experienced anything remotely similar to what I've described. It's disturbing to see how much child abuse is normalized in the southern US (or at least North Carolina, where I live), but hopefully gen z will be the generation that eradicates such disgusting behavior. Sorry for the literal novel I just wrote. I didn't realize how much I was saying until I looked back to check my grammar.
Honestly don’t know what to say besides “good comment”. You seem very self aware and as a youngin’ myself I think we just gotta learn as much as we can so when we’re adults we can use our knowledge for good. Sorry about the situation (I’m in a similar one, I see crap like that all the time). As long as you recognize what is wrong and right for now that’s the best we can do.
It is depressing. Some people just love to create conflicts out of nowhere.
I'm just over twice your age, but I can imagine being in your position reading this and it's both heart-wrenching and infuriating. If people were saying those things around me then I don't think I would be able to keep quiet, and I'm normally pretty introverted. The reality is that it's often impossible to intervene in other peoples' personal affairs - there's no legal precedent for it and most people would tell you it's not your place to do so. But the empathy driving this desire to just _do something_ is something I find very relatable.
Cowardice is a strong word, and I feel like if I was seeing violence in front of me then I would actually be compelled to step in somehow (as I have reacted to things in the past) but at the same time I do know how you feel even though I'm (supposedly!) an adult myself. Sadly I think it's something that is not liable to change on a broad scale in the immediate future, it's likely as old as human history. As long as you do the best you can for the people you know and love, that might well be enough.
Sadly there's only so much we can do for others, but I think what you can do is question this. Not agree with it. Not giggle a long (although I doubt you do).
One day many of these kids will realise how much they were hurt... or start acting like their parents. Perhaps you can be a voice of different perspective that they one day will recall while thinking, and maybe it can help them see.
Although I have to point out that such behaviour (like joking about abuse) is also a form of coping to victims of abuse many times, especially if it's a cultural thing, it's something you can bond over and it becomes a way to process it at least to some degree...
I remember those stiring spoons
my mom: *goes through all my stuff, yells at me for not telling her my feelings, threatens to punch me*
also my mom: why don’t you talk to me anymore? why don’t you trust me anymore?
My mom actually rEAD MY FUCKING MESSAGES AND TOLD ME I CAN’T SWEAR AS A JOKE
@@Alex-sq8kh OMG MY MOM DOES THE SAME THING LIKE THE INTERNET IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN EXPRESS MYSELF BUT SHE GETS MAD AT ME LIKE BRUH ;-;
My mom goes through EVERYTHING on my iPad. You know how adults like to leave tabs open? Well, she does that when she looks on my devices. I even saw the google maps tab open... how do our parents distrust us that much?
@@Helddownlikegravityy Right!!! And they expect US to trust THEM!!! It irritates me so much.
Lol welcome to abusive parents :'(
me: **shows this video to my parents**
my parents: "it's because of that darn phone!"
this is a joke right
Well, yes. But I bet they'll say that if I actually do it.
@@farr2600 im afraid to show this to my parents
No talk at all if I show this to mah parents- *straight to the arena*
@@henrydoesstuff4260 imma head straight to the gulag
I heard someone at work say this
“Strict parents make sneaky children”
I mean.. I know how to lie on the spot now 😂
I tell this to my parents all the time. They pretend like they know everything that goes on in my life. Nope! Not at all 😙
Spongebob Squarepants Same
True
@@Cherry.pie1 sameee
My dad literally said to me at 4 years old, while I’m crying and he’s yelling at my mom over some bullshit , “This isn’t about you!”. Like dude you just proved right then and there how much you don’t care about how other people feel period.
My parents kicked me out, before I graduated high school.. years later, they want to know why I never come see them..😂😂😂
Thats fucked up man. But as long as youre doing better now then thats ok. Thats good.
Similar. I have no answers.
You were still a minor? That's illegal of them
Me the same they kickt me out and call me all the time to say why u never vissit us cant explain wtf is going on in the head of them
fuuuucking saaaame. Then to add insult to injury; grandma wouldn't let me stick around if I couldn't pay rent... guess who couldn't get a job.
Honestly screaming around kids makes anxious adults. Any time my husband raises his voice (not at me), closes a door too hard, “seems” mad I instantly get anxious, because I remember my parents getting red in the face angry and how terrible I felt every time it happened
After some events with both my parents getting really angry I've noticed that when anyone shouts or does anything that reminds me of it I become anxious and disoriented
Hey you should try doing some inner child work, it's when you like nurture the child who went through all that shit, so that you now will not have to suffer for the shit child you had to suffer through yknow, it's been helping me lately, my child self was so sad n broken, but she's so happy and I'm so full of real love for myself now a days yknow
ghost sheet I had fairly significant childhood trauma. What does inner child work consist of?
You couldn’t be more accurate about that. Even just reading the title of the video made my heart rate jump, and then stay at that throughout the whole thing.
@@Macabresque hey it is when you meditate and during the meditation you imagine yourself as a child, you just keep telling yourself how sorry you are for everything that's happened etc, just give your child self all the love and forgiveness they need. I also go to reiki sessions from time to time which has helped me to really unlock a lot of traumas that were so bad my child brain cut it out of my memories so you could try also find out if your city has any reiki healing places aswell, I've been to psychologists n hospitalized a few times due to mental illness, but after a spiritual look at things I am healing a lot quicker, you should do your own research though because you don't want to unlock some traumas that could just ruin you?? Definitely have a lot of support around you if you can!
A kid won’t fix your broken marriage
I did. I acted as a therapist for my mom. Without me they would have probably been divorced. Now we're happy
Minx Fur r/madlads
@@kedamono8616 We are very proud of you. You did better than so many in your position.
@@kedamono8616 yes, but putting all that baggage on a kid isn't healthy either, anywho, good for you for helping out.
@@headintheclouds7905 yeah, I do think it took a little bit of a toll on me but I can handle it
You are spot on. I watched you and then found my 15yo son and told him he is the greatest gift God gave his Dad and I.
Kids are total sponges that can pick up on things that aren't even verbal.
this is very true, my mom used to chew her nails all the time and i got it when i was super young
KitkatKate me tooooo bruh
Love your profile pic Servo
Yup. They repeat everything, too. Recently, my GF's little cousins repeated ALL the gossip their parents talked about all the other family members. Needless to say, instead of going to their Christmas, we decided to vacation in Florida instead.
@@borko8325 I gotta stop doing that then- thanks for that.
I hate how people think having a kid automatically makes you special person.
Mike Morris yep. Everyone is special just by being alive. They don't need to prove it with things outside themselves. You are who you are no matter what you do. That is how it is.
@@1234-z8x eVeRyOnE iS eQuAl
Where did you get this from? Nobody thinks/says that or acts like that's true.
Ayy a lord hater pfp. Noice.
@Christopher Huber Sure, but it doesn't put you above others who haven't had a child. Being a good parent puts you above that.
They deserve help, but they deserve criticizm as well.
And parents these days wonder why their kids grow up with little to no respect for them.
DJ M.I.A. Honestly. My dad gets so mad with me because I can’t look him in the eye nor talk to him. Even if I tried, I just can’t. I’ve seen and heard him say that he used to hit my mother for doing a bad job. For not being more respectful. It hasn’t left me. Seeing him throw my brothers to the ground and beat the crap out of them because they got into trouble and are having teenage issues. Being forced to choose who I’d want to be with when I was around 10 years old crying my eyes out thinking they’d separate. I love him, because he’s my father, but I just can’t respect him anymore.
Exactly. Like how can you expect respect from your kids when you don’t even respect them? Ridiculous.
@@trvgic76 Coming from a very similar childhood, at least we know personally how NOT to act as a parent for our own kids.
Quinid/ I’m exited to have my own kids. I want to make sure they know that they can actually come to me whenever. I won’t expose them to toxic behavior if my significant other get into an argument. I’m sure you’re gonna be an amazing parent as well
Tragic I’m the child of someone who grew up in a house like the one you describe. My parents are both great honestly and it’s easy to go to them. But… just remember to tell your kids you’re proud of them. I think a lot of parents forget that, including mine. Strong adults are made from confident children and never being raised to have pride or confidence in yourself/decisions/abilities has lasting affects.
I’ve always hated when people talk to kids in high condescending voices. I know they mean well, but it’s just unneeded and cringey. Even worse, people will talk that way towards someone with special needs and it drives me crazy.
Ooof ikr. I literally see people talk to people with amputated arms or legs in that squeekey voice. Like sis what. Also I really love it when children talks about their hobbies (especially girls talking anything remotely outside dressing up, make up, dancing, etc) and suddenly adults will change the topic into something stupid (also in that stupid squeekey voice).
@@bruhbruh5948 when I was that age, most people around me (children too) hated that. We weren't scared, we just felt like they thought we were stupid. It made us frustrated.
@@bruhbruh5948 kids think you find them stupid or just a kid not worthy to talk with, that's piss them off lol. Plus if you talk to a kid like that, they might have later some troubles speaking
@@bruhbruh5948 just talk to them like with everyone else, a normal voice
Parent: *insults you, screams at you,...*
Also parent: why do you never talk to me? :(
Bruh. My ENTIRE childhood/adolescence/teenage years.
I can relate to the screaming part more than the first part
Why does this also fit with dio
Poor Dio is ranting about his father.... ):
@@benjaminjenkins2384 remember dio's father
Not only will he fix your iphone he'll fix your life
Metroid is bae!!!!! Best game series period!
Parents: *Yells at me*
Me: *Yells back*
Parents: Why are you yelling at me?
A quote that i like is "children are the mirror of the family, he reflects the moral purity of the parents"
"don't talk back"
I deadass always yelled back and not realize it. I am stupid smh😔
My g you have the biggest pair of balls ever, I don’t have the guts to do that because I know I’d get screamed at then grounded
When I was 7, ( 20 now ) my parents used to slap me with a belt and say "Does God like your actions!?". And I replied with; "No!". They thought I was talking back so they hurt me more :L.
If you don't act like a parent, your kid will most likely grow up on the internet OR other people. Now having a child grow up on the Internet can have really good things come up out of it, like more information and better understanding of the internet (for like jobs), but this should never be a reason to neglect your child
You basically described my life
^
That's basically all of my friends and I. We're doing pretty well in chem now bc of those random ass ted talks and crash courses we liked in the past (they had nice voices).
This is insanely true. I was curious on how computers work, and now im studying computer engineering
That being said, being grown on the internet can have very bad things as well, like social awkwardness, not being able to choose what career due to so much information, anxiety towards real life problems, shortsightedness, lack of in person interaction, lack of real world expirience in general. There can be exceptions tho
Parents that are prideful "I know what's best, don't tell me how to parent!" Well, if you weren't doing a shoddy job we wouldn't even have to tell you to stop screaming.
I wish that more parents understood how petty and trivial something like personal pride is when it comes to being a parent. That doesn't mean capitulating to the every whim of a faceless mass of braying naysayers, but it does mean to question your own actions honestly and wonder whether you could be doing things better...
@@Harkz0r i find being a parent endlessly stressful for this very reason. There is ALWAYS. ALWAYS room for improvement and the guilt can eat you alive if you let it.
@@heathertaylor8904 Yeah, I don't doubt it. I'm not a parent myself, so it's easy for me to offer passing comments from the outside. Frankly, I've seen some truly diabolical things, and people that in my opinion should never have had children. At the same time, I know some people may simply be having a bad day and a momentary lapse in judgment. Nobody's perfect.
In your position I would probably feel the same way, truth be told. As long as someone is of a mind to want to do the best they can, and are able to take a step back and assess the situation honestly, then that's good enough in my book.
People have to learn how to do everything except parenting apparently. We're born as fkin parenting Yodas with totalitarian rights over how to do it.
And when i see people have more kids when they cant handle and arent ready for 1.. It honestly kills me
Invalid
@@slyguythreeonetwonine3172 edgelord
@@slyguythreeonetwonine3172 bro you good?
@@slyguythreeonetwonine3172 R.I.P your childhood person on the internet.
what happened? Slyguy's comment seems to be deleted
Anytime i ever got yelled at by my parents, I would go in my room cry and used to repeat to myself nobody loves me or cares about me. My mom used to call me a crybaby and anytime I cried. Now I can’t handle anyone even having a harsh tone towards me without balling and then feeling like I’m just a crybaby and I’m crying for no reason.
RayofSunshine ! I cry without making noise To This Day for this exact reason. You’re not a crybaby when it’s over awful people being awful.
@rayofsunshine that's PTSD right there. That sucks
I feel you. I had to learn how to silently cry at such a young age because I wasn’t allowed to show emotion without getting yelled at and mocked.
I'm sorry, you sound like a really lovely person who didn't deserve that. You will overcome this, change takes time. Just keep pushing forward.
Same. I’m 20 and still cry when someone is mad at me.
I'm 16, i have anxiety and maladaptive daydreaming because of my mom. Idk what to do, she hurts me so much sometimes, but i still love her and grateful for everything she did for me. I'm really glad for kids who have healthy relationships with their parents. Just wanted to share with someone
Hope things get/are better for you
@@VertietRyper haha, that’s crazy. I’m 19 now. I don’t know if things got better honetly, I’m working now and I guess I have better relationship with her, but I’m depressed, at least I know how to live with it. Thank you for asking.
I hope you can get better!
When my parents would argue, I would actually try and solve the situation and participate in the argument, only to be told by both sides that I’m a child.
Fucking exactly
I was never abused, but every time my parents get in an argument, when I try to say my opinion they tell me to stay out of it and my opinion doesn't matter. I've stopped having many conversations with my parents and I mentally can't be in the same room with them while they're talking without me breaking down. I think that's linked to something else, but I'm not sure.
This is me with my mom and her husband I'm so tired of their shit.
Actually, for me it's the other way around. I'm their crutch. They use me to fix everythinggg. It's sucks dude.
@@earthh2marzz Just like my sister. She is so mature and understand all the heavy subject like that. While I'm ignorant or just simply never notice
Children, especially toddlers, are the most receptive people on the planet. What might seem like trivial matters to adults is the world to them, since their brain is still primitive and trying to collect as much information to guarantee survival.
Your trying hard to sound smart 😐
@@purpledefaultpfp6233 I don't care if I sound dumb or smart tbh. Just tryna get my point across.
@@purpledefaultpfp6233 the fact that you completely ignored the content of his comment, just to insult him, shows everybody that you are clearly the dumbass. I suggest you delete your comment
i yeet my meat
Not really. That’s what babies to toddlers do, they absorb everything around them. Gestures, tone of voice, inflections, accents, attitudes. Why do you think it’s so easy for a kid to learn new things versus some 80 year old?
@@zachanikwano I have a friend who has 2 siblings between the ages of 1-3 years old, and they both can fluently speak English and Arabic. Both languages are backwards to one another as well. I struggled to even learn ASL (American Sign Language) in highschool, and even I am a tactile learner (basically hands on learning)
Kids are surprisingly sensitive, especially emotionally.
Duh.
It's evident by how much they cry. Also their facial expressions is a huge takeaway. All babies can do is communicate though emtions, body language, and facial expressions. maybe others i forgot .
Please parents listen to this man, my parents screaming and emotional abuse ended up causing me to have multiple chronic illnesses from stress at an early age. They had unresolved trauma and serious anger issues and would take it out on my and my sibling a lot, trust us we do notice it
Interesting fact: Most abusive parents where abused. So if you are a Father or Mother and you had an abusive childhood don't treat your children badly because you don't want them to feel the same you felt.
That's not an excuse, however.
It's your parents responsibility to break the cycle
@@stitchfinger7678 and if your parents don't take that responsibility, the responsibility is yours.
@@stitchfinger7678 It's not an "excuse" (as if there can be one), it's an explanation. Most people repeat their parents' behavioral patterns almost unconsciously, without a second thought.
Then when it doesn't work. Instead of searching another way to discipline their kids, they stick with what they know.
@@raito6689 I almost sent my mother a letter about these topics
its sad cause I can't even show this to my parents without them "exploding," which just shows how valid this point is
they think that its false and then proceed to explode.
My parents ask me why I showed this to them then bring up the time I used to vent to my ex-girlfriend about them until my mom checked my messages and then guilt trip me and then tell me that if I don't think that they're good parents then I should go live with my annoying friends and likely fellow energy-drinkers (I only drank one energy drink in my life and it was months prior to this current event). Here's to hoping my parents don't find my comments on this video.
My mom tells me you are over exaggerating
True
Sammmeeee
i swear just because you want and can have children doesn't mean you should
Thank you
Omg your pfp 😍😍
One of many reasons I've chosen not to.
Yeah we should have parental license /s
Rosie_ Right ugh
“Just because your child does not bring up what bothers them, does not mean that something is bothering them”
most simple and true thing in the video.
I'm a preschool aide that can make any kid respect me bc I respect them first. Had better conversations with 3 year olds than grown adults.
I'm a tutor and I have an easier time with 7 year olds than I do with most adults. It's genuinely easier.
My parents yelled and screamed at each other all the time... Thanks to that I learned valuable lesson... Relationships are awful never get involved with other people... ever.
I learned that too, but it applied to friends more than significant others. I think I've always looked to a significant other for comfort and support, I crave that stability and validation that I lack from my one parent. But I was only ever able to have a relationship with a significant other. All of my friendships failed because my parents simply don't know how to socialize so I didn't learn right. Plus I was afraid of rejection. To this day (I'm 23), I still struggle with maintaining friendships but am getting a lot better thanks to my lovely girlfriend who is so validating, sweet and supportive, and is socially intelligent so I use her as a model for what a friendship should be. I realize that it's very similar to relationships, but without the romance or sex. It's good to know that I do know how to be a friend, I just have to get over the fear that they will lose interest or reject me. So yeah, childhood trauma is a hard thing to overcome but take it one step at a time and you will get there.
And then my mom asks my why I’m still single
@@nightfire9193 to be honest it was a bit of an attempt at humor. However it is true, but this was only one of so many other reason why I never pursued any sort of relationship in my life as I now approach 40. Most reasons boil down to I believe it's a mistake to ever trust anyone, without that trust you can't ever have a stable relationship. I also can't stand taking/ receiving anything from anyone, because then I feel I have a strong obligation of owing them. So this is why I can never have interactions with other people that are anything but them wanting me to do something for them. So over time people just become a complete hassle to deal with and I avoid interactions whenever possible. I'm not saying that I'm a hermit that lives in a cave somewhere I have a job. I can interact and deal with people as I have to, it's just draining for me to do so.
I learned that too although my parents love each other very much and they’re so fun but when they argue they CAN be brutal but I think it’s mostly because I still don’t understand why two strangers could love each other like kissing and stuff when I think about it it’s weird I understand crushes but when I asked myself if I would ever date my crush I said no because i think of things like what if my loving husband along our marriage turns into a murderer and kills me and what if he cheats which is absolutely UNFORGIVABLE so I’ll just stick to being single but lol I’m just a kid and I don’t really have to worry about this stuff as of now so whatever
I feel like the minute people begin to scream and yell at each other they either need help or they need to get out of each other's lives. It's ridiculous how many people torture themselves in relationships for no reason
In psychology there's a saying "You either become your abuser or you decide that you never want anyone else to feel that way."
I had a horrible relationship with my father, he was physically and emotionally abusive towards me and for years now the thought of having a child has horrified me because what if I become like my father? I've only now in recent years have even started to consider the idea of having a child, purely do to the constant reassurance that as long as I'm afraid of becoming him I never will. This video has also led to the reaffirmation that I am extremely grateful to have my Uncle in my life who has served as an amazing example of how kind hearted and caring a male can truly be and it's what I hold onto to give me hope.
So thank you for making this video, I'm really glad I stumbled onto your channel.
Retro Jacket
Pro tip: Thai is not a normal video unfortunately. He repairs Apple products.
i promise that when i do have children, i will never be like my father. i will be better.
this!!
I'm becoming the abuser. And I dont give a sh*t if I'm being honest🤣
Not only should you not yell anywhere near a child, you should never speak negatively around them. Especially if you talk crap about your spouse around them. As parents, it is your job to help your child and resolve any problems they might have. Not to create the problems yourself
Exactly. And talking shit about your partner makes children feel like they have to choose a side, that they have to like one or the other, or their relationship with one of the parents will be compromised. It does also appear very self-centered too, when your child constantly hears you talking shit about another person instead of asking them about things that concern them.
“At the end of the day children don’t want to feel like they’re a burden to their parents”
Me: *sweats* ok this is hitting home more than it should.
Jelly _Lord yeah this vid came up on auto play while I was working and I enjoyed it but man that got real fast
Oh god. It really did.
Most cartoon characters have better families than real people.
Animals too
@@Visceralx1 Even living objects.
*NARUTO CRYS*
Aheago Man I was just about to comment about him 😂 you beat me to it!
HyperSonic if you exclude anime characters
This is so very true. I distinctly remember as a kid when my parents were screaming at each other...we would all sit in almost near-silence, waiting for an explosion or the door to burst open or to find out we were to blame, it was our fault...it gave me lasting feelings that the world was unreliable and ugly, gave me the strangest feeling that being a kid was wrong somehow and that being an adult wasn’t any better. It’s hard to describe...but this really resonated with me. I am a parent and a classroom teacher, and I totally get why this is so important. Not that most people will either listen or care. People suck.
sign543 yes
Exactly. People don't question this shit because of the everlasting talking point that "you can't judge other people's parenting "
I call bullshit. When we've had generations of damaged humans because we haven't gotten better at raising children I ask when will it end? It will end when we can have a discussion on how each and every one of us has failed. And how we can work forward to being better for the kids. If we can't question parenting as a topic. We will continue to create generations of anxious, depressed, non-coping people's.
Anthony Saman - It’s an unfortunate side effect of how we interpret liberty. It means, or has meant for hundreds of years now, the right to parent as you see fit (not in all ways, but in MANY ways). Parents can do a host of things that nobody will do anything about, because there is no way to truly see what’s going on. Children are (and always have been) the single most powerless “minority” on the planet...and while they do have far more agency these days than decades ago...there still is not enough. I’ve seen the evidence so many times of abject neglect and abuse...and there is exactly zero you can do without strong evidence. Strong. Parents literally can get away with nearly murder. They can scream at their child. Hit them. Neglect them. Debase and demean them. I’ve always said: childhood is like this horrible time where you are a human with no power and just sit around waiting for things to happen to you.
My childhood is part of the reason why I want to be a teacher, like you are. If I can make someone else’s childhood just a bit better, rather than kids coming from bad homes to bad teachers who also yell, I’ve done well.
Wookie - Exactly right. That was my experience. I knew I was going to be a teacher when I was in the 4th and 5th grade when the FIRST adult person in my life made me realize (or start to realize) that I was valuable as a person. It was literally a 4th grade science teacher who first truly “saw” me...made me feel like I was worthy of being seen and heard...and gave me a little self esteem. I lived in abject fear and anxiety of the world around me up until that point...and while it didn’t go away overnight, that began a journey of self discovery and self esteem. When I was a child from birth to about 11-12...I viewed the world as an ugly place, a place where I wasn’t safe, I wasn’t worthy of being safe, and that anything that happened to me was just how it was. If you have experienced this, I’m so glad that you survived and that you are well. And I really and sincerely hope that you follow your dream to impact a child’s life. Right now as we write, a child is hating being alive. That breaks my heart. Good luck with your endeavor! ❤️ 👍🏼
My dad: *sleeps all day and drinks*
Also him: Why dont you appreciate me!? I do all the work.
OH HECC--- same ._.
it fucking sucks
and it sucks even more here cuz whenever they say that "WHY DONT YOU APPRECIATE ME MORE??" just makes me feel like shit. bc it makes me feel, as a child who was brought in this world by them, that i should be more appreciative towards them but its fucking hard cuz wth am i supposed to be appreciative for?? u slack off all day and fight with each other when u can for the most pettiest of reasons that i wanna just avoid this place and you if i can TT aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I felt this 😥
I could smell the fucking alcohol from this post
My significant other has parents EXACTLY like this. And they also say how my partner is a worthless and useless pig.
@@grizzlyaddams3606 you dont know other peoples situations. why do you go around fucking insulting people and talking about your own unrelated experience? wtf?
"I have very bad short term memory."
*Meow*
"Kitty?"
*mrow*
"I have very bad short term memory."
I love this channel already.
Not sure if this was on purpose, but after this he basically repeated the last 2 minutes again and the cat interrupted at roughly the same point a second time. The video is great, but if you take repeat sentences out it would be about half as long.
@@TR-gj6xt kinda helps drive some points home though, too. Even if it's unintentional, hearing something twice will probably make you remember it better than hearing it once 🤔
What they think they're teaching:
-how to behave
What they're actually teaching:
-how to listen to footsteps
-how to lie on the spot
-how to fake signatures
-how to manipulate people into claiming down
-how to run on 4hours of sleep per week
-how to suppress your emotions
This is what my dad taught me to do
If you have kids people, End the cycle, no violence, no controlling behaviour. Do what your parents failed to do which is to create a safe environment for your kids so they can talk to you and therefore be more honest.
damn i never realized that this is what I've learned too
My childhood in a UA-cam comment
training some spies
My parents have been yelling at each other like CRAZY ever since I was a kid. She’s told me many times she doesn’t love him, and that she forgot to take birth control, then had me. Fun.
That sucks mate
"I never wished to be here anyway" usually shuts up mine but you have to get out the house immediately after that lol
A-are we the same person
that's funny shit right there!
my mom tried bullshitting me 'you werent an accident you were a suprise!' now i seem to be weirdly good at seeing when im lied to. then again ive always been a wall flower so that contributes too
“But I turned out all right.”
Oh really. Did you?
Yeah, i managed to meet and make a good impression on a ambassador, How? By having a strict mom beside me.
@@bigtwins5496 ua-cam.com/video/2q35PgSXhKg/v-deo.html
@@bigtwins5496 this video isn't even about strict parents, you ok dude?
I like to go back to the “Rock Egg Ice” (name by me) analogy when people say stuff like this (if someone would like to know what that is then I’ll be happy to explain)
@@bigtwins5496 making an impression on a corrupt public servant is your biggest accomplishment, that's tuff buddy.
My mom: *gets angry at me for everything, hits my cat and insults the things I love the most*
Also my mom: why are you always in your room? Why don't you ever talk to us? Why are you always so irritable??
Hits your cat?! The gall of it!
My dad always get mad at me and always ask me damn stupid questions and he’s like why don’t you talk to me like stop yelling at me then we will talk
Maybe because your parents are victim to this too. They at least still love you. Maybe it is the time for you now to be the adult 🤔.
Fahad MV I’m 13 and they have done this ever since I was little tf 💀
@@dazani3378 don't worry everything with time change my family were even worse but I do love them they are my parents at the end.
bro I hate it when they say, "stOp smArt tAlking'. Like bruh I'm giving a logical answer 😑😑
Tame Doggo lmao, my parents keep saying have to learn everything in the world. Like wtf, the moment I say, “there’s no way a person can learn everything in the world” my dad yells, “ stop being a smart ass!”
Don’t they want me to be smart 🤔
and then when you actually use a logical answer thwy say “my house my rules” or “im your mother and because i said so” because they know im right and dont want to be proven wrong
★Zoechu★ my moms asian
And then they're like "do you pays the bills?
Can't relate I never talk
making your kids walk on eggshells is child abuse
Angelo Haney Thank you
Why dont they clean said eggshells up? Jk just making a joke
this is why i am never having kids. they are a big deal.
I wish my parents had the same thought pattern you have..
I've never understood what walking on eggshells meant.