If A Man Did This At The Gender Reveal, The Tone Would Be WAY Different
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- Опубліковано 31 гру 2023
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Going through a divorce right now after being separated for a year and a half. It's taken me months of being away from her to accept that not only was she abusive but that what she was doing was also infidelity and that it doesn't have to be romantic or sexual to be infidelity. I've since realized that I compromised a lot of who I am by constantly trying to make excuses for her. In doing so, I started to realize that while I was growing up, my dad and I were making excuses for my mom. I remember when growing up, my mom was always saying it was bad PMS and her hormones. The way she treated my dad became so normalized for me that going into adulthood and getting married, that I accepted that kind of treatment was normal.
Good luck in your future. I am so sorry that you had to endure such crappy treatment. It wasn’t your fault.
Sir, this is a Wendy's.
I feel you. I'm recently divorced and didn't realize that I was being gaslit more than I realized and a lot of my unhappiness what related to her and our relationship. Sorry to hear about what you went through. Best we can do is learn from it and see it coming next time, or that hopefully there won't be a next time.
So infidelity is her hvin friends and not b isolated with u? Lol that's fckd dodged a bullet
@@DarkCelestialConsciousness No, it's having her ex-husband integrated into our life to the point where for 5 out of 6 years of marriage we almost never had even a weekend where we weren't doing things with him. Every holiday, every weekend, every trip was with him. Having him move in with us and making plans on the next place we moved based on where she and him wanted to be. And when I confronted her, about her ex becoming too involved in our life after since before our first anniversary, she told me that it was my problem and that he didn't have anything to do with it. Even the marriage counselor was calling her out. The counselor pointed out that her ex was living high off the hog with no rent, not having to really contribute, not having to have a timeline on a job and moving out, and basically being included in everything to the point that we no longer functioned as a couple. What's fckd is you assuming you knew what the dynamic of the situation was.
She missed the popper timing, but it's automatically his fault.
Knowing the cause of something does not justify allowing it to happen. It simply enlightens you, giving you the ability to know and understand the challenge you must face.
That's true.
Yes, hallelujah!
Real women control themselves. Love ya, Chloe.
as do real men. i think both sides have all ranges of the spectrum which are mostly due to hormone balance issues.
@@LygerTheCLaw Equating men and women in today's environment is either knowingly dishonest and bigoted, or staggeringly ignorant. I wonder which one you are?
If I was a woman I wouldn't blame pregnancy hormones on how I react to things that I have full control of
That would be you being responsible for your actions.
Now if EVERYBODY can do this!!
Noo women cant be responsible.
Nonsense. Women are never responsible for their own behaviour.
@@xoafallen6239that would break some kind of natural rule
What? Women being responsible? Noooo, never. It's aaaaalways the men's fault.
It's never ok for anyone to lay their hands on another, no matter the gender.
Exactly!
Facts spoken by a true woman
I think you're awesome standing up for our men. I stand with you! I've been married for 28 great years. Women can be so nasty to a good man. Cheers to all you guys for what you go thru with some heffiers. 😅
There's so many reasons I respect what you do thanks for calling out the Gaslighting Witches
Spot on as usual dear
People get wrapped up in the idea that abuse has to be physically damaging or emotionally damaging right away to be abuse. Those same people often do not realize that an abuser doesn't just jump to 100 right away: they ramp up to that extreme by testing their partner with ever-increasing levels of violence to make sure their victim won't push back or exert a boundary.
Recognizing small abuses, and correcting them with assertive boundaries, is one of the best ways to correct an abusive personality. Of course, there's always leaving but that will just make them someone else's problem and not fix anything. Bear in mind that abusers don't often view what they're doing as abuse: hardly anyone in that position sees themself as the villain they are.
sadly if yoru a man you cant even do that or she will 'flip the script' and label YOU the abuser for your own boundaries...trust me i been there
Chloe you are a truth warrior
You're definitely right, I've been in those types of relationships before..... Why I'm single!!!
Thank you for trying to make things right for what has be held in the wrong for far to long
Thank you Roma for all you do❤❤❤
Thank you so much for advocating for us men. We really appreciate it
Yeah stop blaming your hormones
I know I have been abused by my sister-in-law and my half-brother justified her abuse. She threw a pencil at me out of rage and almost killed her husband. I am not sure that I would enable that behavior with my wife SMH
"It's my hormones" I used to hear that a lot after violent PMS outbursts. All in the past now. Never again.
This one seems to have been blown out of proportion. It doesn't look like it was a big deal.
Kinda is
Did he not count down then she goes no waite? He was at two right but she wanted it stopped to be the chatty Star of the show. Let's go.
Thank you Romy
Yea. Women get away with alot. Watch some of these couples channels where they prank each other. The women always end up pushing their partner, ripping things off them, and I've thought... imagine if he was doing that stuff to her. ?? Wild.
For some reason women have always been portrayed as sweet innocent angels so that gives them the license to do whatever they want.
It's male propaganda that women are wifable.
Huge fan Cloe , Thank you
Howard from Cochrane
Happy New Years
I felt bad for him
Keep on keeping on Roma.💜😈
Can't blame everything on hormones 😂😂😂😂😂
Oh, man. I’m so sorry about #3. No wonder you’re so strong. ❤🙏
Honestly let's be real, gender reveal parties are for narcissistic princess types. The father probably just went along because it made her happy otherwise it's totally ridiculous to waste that kind of money just to tell the world what kind of baby you're having. When I was a little kid, and my parents found out I was going to have a little brother, they just went to the gift shop and bought blue candy cigars.... the end thank you LOL
Took the words RIGHT out of my mouth! Couldn't agree more, and thanks, lol.
It's just a gender reveal party, not really that serious.. And how you know if he just went along with it
@@Zimmathon Of course you do
@@NativeBloodWolf I think gender reveal parties are so pointless, just tell your friends and family what you're having, do you really have to break the bank just to tell them if it's a boy or a girl? People can be really pretentious
i thought gender was a social construct, if true this makes this 'reveal' false, or you know mal vs female is BIOLOGICAL, and thus not a construct
Abusers always have an excuse. But abuse is abuse
Narcissism totally! Just divorced one.
Amazing said Roma, couldn’t have said it better.
My pregnancy hormones made me more in love, more attracted & more obsessed with my husband. 😂. I got irritable by a lot of small things, but I used my self control & grown up tools to not snap out or put my hands on the man I love & father of those children….
she is a hitter he needs to bring her to a psychologist to get her under control
Your Personality Is Really Great 👌
Be Safe 🙏
My Dear Roma, thank you. ❤
I’m a favourite child and my mum had me when she was 40 and never thought she’d have a boy and my sister who’s 20 years older than me fully knows this and I think it effects her too. I definitely feel bad but it’s not like I can do much about it.
Your great !! First time viewing your channel
You have great energy .
Serious Question. I was recently told that the reason I am ignored, gaslighted and neglected is because I am the Problem and that ir is MY job to Fix it. When I inquired about what it is exactly, I was met with silence. Am I being BS'd here? Feeling Lost
You rock girl
I'm sorry you had to go through that.
I'm new to your channel, you can actually thank YT algorithm, but after watching a few, I've subbed.
Sadly my ex had the hormones of postpartum depression to deal w on top of borderline personality disorder so I feel for dude. I understand pregnancy can suck but why put your man on blast for everyone to possibly see bad enough your whole family and friends? I just don't understand that some women I guess want validation from other women instead of just saying to him & then apologize.
@@dinxmoon9734 that's your opinion & your entitled to to it. I respect your opinion as i respect what she tells what she did herself I can't judge her but I can listen about what she knows is wrong about how men are treated
@@ajjdarklord It's ignorance
Good luck to her son that she’s gonna be giving birth to. It appears she wanted a daughter, and not a son. God help the father and the son for this little girl’s temper tantrums.
It's much more simple than that, she was mad he didn't do the confetti popper at the same time as her. It's literally nothing she got mad about and now she's berating him and making excuses for shitty behavior.
@@JosephArata it sounded as though she asked “Why is it blue?”
Abuser?...I was riming with stitch, nonetheless...😅
Possibly one
My, my, my, Boudicca Queen, you are brutally honest and cute!!!!
After that baby is born he needs to get full custody and run away from that looney tune!
At least they didn't start any wild fires. At least we also can look forward to a great new year. By the way, congratulations with the new boyfriend Chloe. The year is looking up for you already. It pays for me to go to the coffee shops, because I found my special lady friend, and I am very happy. I'm also getting a job transfer, new car, and going back to college for another degree. BEST WISHES!!
I wasn't even welcome, in my own home. When I got home, being out of town for work. To the mother, of my son my first born.
I was always getting, physically abused, verbally abused, emotionally abused.
She blamed it, on her pregnancy hormones.
She didn't want anything, to do with me. Wouldn't let me touch her, like hugging etc kiss her no nothing.
If we got, into a argument she would threaten to abort our son.
All this played, on my mind so much.
I was a physical, and emotional wreck from it.
It was the worst time, of my life period.
That I had to leave, through her pregnancy which was the hardest decision in my life to have to do.
Because I couldn't, do it no longer.
I had suicidal ideation from it.
. . . and she's going to raise a child, just like that. 🤦😕
I can't add to that. You're right again Roma.
I mean... It wasn't that bad. That was a love tap!
Exactly!
Yeeeah this really doesn’t seem too bad to me or maybe I’m just numb from seeing it so often! Regardless,we’re all better off focusing on things we can change for the good of those around us and ultimately ourselves. Luv ya…bye!
Happy new year Chloe!
Imagine.
Imagine the son watching the clip, realizing that he wasn't what his mom wanted. Sure, he'll probably be raised as a normal family member, the mom will remember it as a funny story, the son probably will too.. but the subconscious won't, it just doesn't process jokes, it will keep the idea that his mom didn't want a boy.
It also goes both way with dads and daughters, there are clips with questionable dad reactions.
She was just mad that he shot off the popper before she did rather than at the same time. Nothing in the clip indicated she didn't want a boy.
@@kingzach74it could be- it’s not like she says it was because he fired 500 ms before her…
@@Aaron-McDonald I took it that way as well, that she was upset he didn't fire his off at the exact same time, probably mostly because his went off before hers. In her mind it was probably akin to him telling everyone what the sex of the baby was before she could, but that's no excuse for the crappy behavior afterwards.
@@mr.funtime9694 agreed. She seemed to act like there was malice but to me it seemed like she had issues setting hers off but they agreed to set them off and she got frustrated. Not a decent excuse, In fact, it’s the worst excuse, because she set hers off almost immediately after him. It’s nbd to everyone…except her haha
Sorry to disappoint you but really the excerpt of the video doesn't show any of that....she never says she hates it being a boy. xD She's somewhat upset about idk what there's no dialogue given to say what it's about. You could assume whatever you want since it's just a woman getting mad after the popper went off. Where's all this imaginary subtext coming from? Did your mom not want you or something?
Lol it's hardly abusive she didn't smack him around with it she just chucked it super weakly
God broke the mold when you were made. Keep shining.
At first I didn't see the problem. I mean it's not really a problem. We're trained to take it so🤷♂️
Yes she is
Honestly women who blame hormones as an excuse to abuse their partner should be stripped of parental responsibility. No unsupervised access to their child until they can show they have undergone anger management classes amd therapy.
That's why I don't wanna be with anyone bc I know I'm like that, me freaking out worse then that is a part of why me and my ex fiancee broke up, but now I can see I was an abuser and I'm trying my best to fix it, granted it's hard, but I'm still trying
The fact that you have the cognitive realization of your past behavior is about 90% of your battle! 🎉
You've reached the place most abusers NEVER get to! Keep on working on yourself but ask The LORD to help make you into who you know you want to become!! 🙏🏻👍🏻
Why is it hard? Controlling your behavior is easy. Just don't be an a-hole.
@@pekkajarvinen69 Learned behavior. I grew up in an abusive home. With no real examples of a healthy relationship, you're acting on learned behavior. I went to therapy and my psychologist helped me learn better behaviors. It's hard because you have to continually practice those behaviors until they become your automatic. Plus you have to catch yourself, or be willing to listen when your SO tells you you're being wrong.
Retraining yourself as an adult is hugely difficult. Of course, I wasn't a violent abuser. But verbal and emotional abuse isn't any better.
@@westtexastll1978 it took years to recognize how bad I was. I also have behavioral issues that I'm now on meds for. I have people help me recognize when I'm wrong and stuff so it's getting better
@@pekkajarvinen69 for some it's easy, not for everyone
I love Roma sighhh
All this makes me glad I never got married like wanted to at 18, cause if I had married my sons mom, I'd either be in the ground or a mental institution rn I can guarantee that
Anyone else notice she questioned why is it blue
Anyone ever told you that your left eye is too far to the side of your head and your right eye is too close to your nose 😂
When my wife was pregnant she never did any of this. Yes she get snappy at times or irritable. But she never hit me threw stuff at me or publicly humiliated me. Most of the time she craved weird things like pickles dipped in peanut butter. She also loved McDonald's more and at times she get overwhelmed at seemingly nothing. We could be watching a movie together and nothing bad or sad happened an she just start crying. Like if a cute dog appeared in the movie she cry and go "omg it's so cute I love her can we get a dog like her" stuff like that. So yea the point I'm trying to make is if that woman did that to me I'd tell her I'm done. I'm breaking up right there and if I have to pay child support cool but if I can't see my kid I'ma fight it in court to either have rights to see my kid when I want or have custody or find a way out not to pay and see my kid when their 18 and explain why I've been absent and ask them if we can start being a family and build a relationship of parent and child. If my kid didn't want anything to do with me then I would respect their choice leave and don't contact them until they contacted me. It would hurt a lot id probably be very depressed but id respect my kids wishes.
I missed the abuse. Watching it again.
You only seen a small part of it
Cute smile, and brilliant end of the video..
you're amazing.
That man needs to run .. she's only gonna get worse
Coz she gentle tossed a piece of cardboard tube at him in irritation? Ok..
lightly throwing a empty cardboard tube is what qualifies as abuse now?
Had Kabobs for dinner!!! Hella farts
I agree with this as people like to paint over it but its still not ok. Hopefully she was apologetic.
I couldn't really hear what was said in the clip, could someone specify what happened? Please and thanks😊
Good luck to that lol 😂
You got that right 🎉
Yeah he has at least 18 and a half more years of her before he has a chance at ditching her and rebuilding his assets.
Abuse is bad... But like... That looked like it bounced off of him without any damage done.
Sure. They're being a bit of a crybaby but it's not like when that one chick threw a bottle of vodka at Johnny Deep.
That's not the abuse we're referring to. It's the "my hormones made me do it" that is the most abusive part. Not taking accountability for bad behavior is abusive, joking about it to your friends on social media, is abusive.
Abuse isnt just physical....
@@NessieLoveNessieLife true but it's difficult to tell how abusive she actually is from such a small clip of their life.
@@entropy-cat You say this but you said that
@@NativeBloodWolf So? I'm not saying they're not abusive. I'm just saying it's hard to determine from a single clip.
❤ you dear
Yeah that was rather petty. You’d think you’d be jumping up and down holding him in your arms celebrating what you just found out. How sad.
Call them out
She might be an abuser.
But I have been pregnant 3 times, my second pregnancy I was a monster. HOWEVER, I did not hit or try to hit anyone but my anger was through the roooooof.
So, this also has to be accounted for. About a year after giving birth I had finally started to be me again..
she was still in the wrong, as you still have to take accountability for your actions (PREGNANT OR NOT).
Glad to be single! 😅
I had 3 sons I couldn't be happier
It's probably not even his kid 😂
When i was pregnant with my first, i put the milk in the oven and a fully prepared chicken in the fridge to cook. Thankfully I hadn't turned the oven on. I only realised about 2 hours later when i went to check on the chicken for dinner.
Gender reveal parties are dumb let’s cancel them in 2024
They ain't that serious
The wife reeks of "go out for cigarettes and never return to" material. Im guessing the baby isn't the husbands anyway...shes most likely a cheater too
Yeah.. as if my ex wife wasn't cranky enough without pregnancy hormones..
She's the one who had bad timing and of course, it's his fault.
Gonna be honest this isn’t that bad, she isn’t an abuser.
I know this sounds bad but the red flag popped up 9 months to late! 😱
Welp she is not lying lol
Maybe it's my shattered psyche speaking here. I know I'm very damaged anymore. But in the short video, I didn't pick up "abuser" from her. Perhaps only because my brain says "I lack detail and background to draw a conclusion"
Bro- Yes I said BRO- Like I told the dadvocate, she barely hit him, she was mad but not mad. it's like throwing a toilet paper roll at someone. The guy didn't even notice he was hit. I got attacked by other guys in my other comment making a huge deal about it. Dudes get emotional like the backstreet boys over this for no reason.
Na been calling shit like it is before all this woke ideology shit been happening. At this point feelings don't matter speak your mind if somebody is butt hurt that's their problem.
Christ! That’s all it took to set her off?