Elaine Aron - A Talk on High Sensitivity Part 1 of 3: Research
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- Опубліковано 28 чер 2013
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Part 2 and 3 are also on UA-cam. Just search for the same title with the different parts labeled. The full 95 minute DVD can be ordered from Elaine Aron's HIghly Sensitive Person website. www.hsperson.com, from mine www.sharidyer.com or from Amazon.
10 years on and HSPs are still finding this video. What a blessing and a life changing gift. ❤
Seriously I read her book and honestly it was so relatable, I cried a little lol, next to Ramona Quimby, it’s prolly the most relatable thing I’ve ever read in my life so far.
I grew up being called over sensitive, overly dramatic, too sensitive, too much ect. I also felt flawed and that I was too hard to handle and unwanted. I grew up believing that I felt things too deeply, that I was to difficult and that there was something fundamentally wrong with me. I had a bad childhood with alot of trauma. Thank u so much for this!!
Wow. That comment made me feel so understood.
Love you Nicole Blake... We share the same experience ❤
Ditto!!
Getting older is a blessing because so much of the trash we got in childhood turns out to be shallow.
Me too. I can’t count how many times my dad said, “You’ve got to get over it.” My friends also couldn’t understand how upset I was after a break up.
I'm an Extrovert HSP. It's so difficult because people think I'm so confident and nothing gets me down because of my outgoing nature but I'm terrified inside and constantly feel others emotions towards me and others (even when they say nothing). I wish I could turn it off...I get pains in my chest, stomach and mostly shoulder and neck pain because of it. Thanks for educating me on it
So great to see someone else who has a circumstance similar to mine.
you just described me exactly. i only recently developed the shoulder pain in the last year. so that’s great lol
Same here!!
me too
This is me completely! I am gratefully overwhelmed but also am energized by and want to connect with others but analyze the while time...
So what we've learned is: HSPs suffer more from negative life stimuli than the Non-Sensitive but also thrive more from positive life stimuli. What that means is, logically we can tell alot about the quality of an environment by how well the HSPs are doing in that environment. In modern America, we seem to be doing much worse in life than the Non-Sensitive. That alone tells you everything you need to know about the quality of modern America.
great comment
M.S. Very insightful. I agree
Wow. Really well put.
So now it was our turn to teach. Following Sadhguru on UA-cam and creating a meditation room we have to go inward to survive. The human form does not understand us. But we can retrain your mind to believe that we are worthy and a gift and let the rest go. Find love and hope within yourself. Namaste 🙏🏿
Pretty much. The canaries in the coal mine.
Wow. It is so deeply alarming that I am just now hearing the term “highly sensitive person”. I’m 29 and VERY much a hsp, yet none of the therapists or my parents or teachers or anyone have ever mentioned it. We need more awareness!!! I’m going to do my best to help. So thankful for people like Elaine though ❤️ It gives me hope.
I’m 67 and same here😊
i have love hate relationship with my sensitivity, i love how it gives me deeper insights, but i hate that i can feel unwanted subtle negative emotions people around me, and especially negative emotions held towards me, it's really exhausting and sometimes it makes me hate my sensitivity
ditto
It depends how you look at it. You can know before a catastrophe who would be there for you. Who you can really trust. Also you get very fast feedback on your words and actions. Feedback really helps you grow.
Exactly...
People not understanding how well we can read them makes for some interesting interactions for sure
I can relate 😂
This woman is a blessing for this world. I am so happy this knowledge was brought to light through her. She is a beautiful human being who has helped thousands of people, including me 💜
I feel like it's too much for me at times in this world.. I almost wish it was a disorder. I just can't seem to cope around people, unless they have calmer energy than me, which is very rare. No one understands how hard it is to function like this, like one huge mirror neuron:(
+Anne M. Try to see it as a blessing, and not a curse. Don't you find that you're able to understand or connect with people better than most?
I do find that I am able to do that, in some situations it's a really good thing, but in most daily situations I struggle to enjoy it.
+Anne M. maybe you're giving too much thought to a negative aspect of being a HSP, and thereby making it worse, i.e. by feeding it with thought energy. If you have a difficult situation, maybe you can try not to make judgments about it, or dwell on it, but rather let it go and move forward, i.e. don't feed the difficult situation any unnecessary energy, for doing so will likely create more such situations. Lastly, maybe you can think about and be grateful for all of the positive aspects of being a HSP, e.g. the ability to connect with, understand, and feel empathy towards others, and perhaps - the capacity to have a deeper understanding of life than most. Sorry for the unsolicited advice, but I hope it will help.
I hear you, thank you for taking the time to give some advice. I do appreciate being HSP, I wouldn't know who I was without it. I feel like it's too much at times because I'm lousy at saying no, or to protect myself. I never knew about HSP, I just felt like I couldn't handle what everyone else could handle just fine. It's a process I guess. Live and learn :)
+Anne M. I was labeled with a SAD social anxiety disorder, many of these same symptoms as HSP in social situations
I stumbled across this body of research 2 years ago, by the grace of God. Fundamentally changed my perspective on life and myself for the better. I was 21 and I'm so grateful to have been so young! If only I had been 12... how much more peaceful and less painful teenage life would've been 😅
I'm an empath to and most empath's are HSP's. I had a difficult childhood, & I'm still recovering from it. At the same time, when I'm around positive energy, I feel like I'm on top of the world! I also feel like I'm capable of recovering from losses better than most people, but that's also partially due to educating myself and my spiritual practice. I think dealing with my family members is the most difficult, because they're not mindful of my needs as an HSP/empath. The meditation center that I go to is definitely a safe space for me and I'm more mindful of who I let into my personal life. I'm also a singer-songwriter, which compliments my sensitivity. However, the music business is tough, so I find myself overwhelmed at times.
I am sorry about your family, luckily when I finally figured out what "troubled" me, my mom kinda thinks it's cool.
She will explain to her friends and understand that when I get hungry, I need to eat or I will turn hangry..
Not wanting to be angry, but I just don't have the energy to be polite anymore.
But I understand what you mean about the industry being tough because the world is hard, it's all about money and being fast and work long hours (which I struggle with) and yeah.
It sucks
@@Galemor1 I suspect that many, if not most (if not all lol) HSPs are not about money, and that this is one of the most valuable things we can give the world, is a different perspective. The world should not be money based. Or at the very least, we as individuals can really benefit by developing our central traits according to their own value, which has nothing to do with money. Money is a tool, and nothing more. It just gets us stuff, it doesn't define who we are, and when we let it, it causes trouble internally. That's my suspicion anyway. I bet you know just what I mean lol, please say so if I'm off.
Jamie, I can really relate to what you're saying about recovering from losses better than most. I think ppl have this silly impression that I'm weak because I'm HSP. Everybody got worried and kept checking up on my after my beautiful little cat had to be put to sleep. But it was because of my practice and because I sat with my intense emotions that I was able to process his death well. Sure, I was sad, of course I was, and when I look at pictures and videos I still get teary, but there is so much more than just sadness in there. There's joy and gratitude, as well - I'm so thankful he was in my life. And yeah, I miss him, but I also visualize him prancing jauntily through a field of flowers chasing butterflies and grasses, and being a lovely cat free of his earthly worries and pains, and now he can just be in full cat mode. And I'd rather he be there than here. And since I don't know for absolute certain, why would I make up some sad story or dwell on my own pain when I can just as easily make up this beautiful narrative instead.
Anyway, that was quite a sidebar lol. I relate. I can feel on top of the world in good energy too. And I've discovered I have this fabulous way of dealing with family members who don't get it, which is just to set boundaries. Like when I can't go, I don't. And if ppl tell me I'm too sensitive, I tell them I am sensitive and that's a good thing, and that I love being sensitive. So I have to put in earplugs at the doctor's office, or stay home to recoup my energy. Meh. Big deal. They seem to get a bit awe struck when they see this kind of self acceptance lol. At least, I think that's what's happening LOL. I love my sensitivity. So I share that kind of thing. It seems to have a way of getting through to ppl that this isn't weakness and its not a problem that needs fixing.
I also had a difficult childhood btw. And I meditate, and I'm an empath. And of course, HSP goes without saying lol. Its very cool that you are a singer-songwriter. Tough gig, but I'm sure it must be so very rewarding!! Music affects me - huuuge!!
From childhood I was "too sensitive", told to toughen up, that words don't wound like weapons. When I first read The Highly Sensitive Person back in the 90s, I felt so validated. I suffer from C-PTSD (multiple kinds of abuse as a child), OCD, GAD, and Major Depression and managing all of that plus my sensitivity is...fun. I greatly respect Elaine Aron's work and research - it has helped me and others so much to realize that we're just different, not crazy.
cwtabbs1 I am so sorry for your suffer. I am in similar situation due to verbal abuse in childhood. I also feel peens and needls in my hands and legs when I am facing a stressful situation.
This is kinda weird but anytime I see someone wearing some kind of bandaid or bandage or something, I feel the hairs on my legs stand up and I wince. Is that from being overly sensitive?
I am similar and life has been hell/
This is the beginning of my journey, understanding myself as high-sensitive. Thank you. Day by day, I will learn to redevelop strategies for living a new life of overcoming a painful past, not knowing what was so different about my self, yet knowing I was INDEED different.
I feel like I cry more than I'm supposed to.
Elmore Sheriff crying takes you to be protected by God.
Me too. This happens especially around my husband, it’s difficult for me to express my feelings/needs when it’s hard to put them into words. So whenever we’re having a meaningful conversation about our marriage my crying takes over and then I just appear as a victim as opposed to being an understanding wife. When this happens it’s difficult to get any comfort from my husband at times. I can’t help but think that when I cry he thinks I’m “acting.” Lately my crying has been really getting to him, he has started to say things he never has in the 16 years we’ve been together, like “here we go” “why are you crying?” “Stop crying” and these words just make me cry even more! I’ve always been highly sensitive even as a kid. I suffer from Low Self-esteem even as a kid. I hung onto every word every friend has said to me ,their opinions about me have always mattered. I just wanted to fit in, I just wanted friends. Growing up I didn’t have a difficult childhood, although our feelings was something we didn’t really talk about. Or about anything really. But bc we didn’t talk about anything meaningful it is VERY DIFFICULT for me to have any of those conversations without feeling extremely emotionally overwhelmed.
Bless the crying lady.
@@lesspurp6860 This is exactly why I will never date/marry a man that does not have similar sensitive wiring. I cannot stand when people act like that with me or my genuine feelings. The sensitivity thing isn't just something cute for women to say. For some it is an absolute requirement for a functional relationship.
@@asparrow5505 Well, for a guy it's quite inconvenient. It's not an attractive quality to most people.
There are just a few people who I would changed my life, and one of them is Elaine Aron. I am forever grateful I learned about this topic. Sometimes 1 in 5 are HSPs is hard for me to believe. It feels like I'm 1 in 50 sometimes? Maybe we all hide it differently.
Like most things it's probably a spectrum. I.e. Less to more.
ua-cam.com/video/ARtawZqXj7k/v-deo.html
As you can see over 600 came here to say they are HSP. So quite a lot.
I feel like that too. Especially in a society where our traits are grossly misunderstood and underappreciated. I think we, as HSPs, are reticent to bring this up for fear that we’ll be seen as “crazy,” further enhancing the feelings of isolation. Knowing that there are others out there who perceive the world more acutely helps me feel less alone.
Thank you! I'm excited to use my sensitivity to become more adjusted to the world and also to protect myself from being overwhelmed by life.
I wish my Mom's brain was studied before or after her death because she was an extreme case of high sensitivity
I believe her father mentally and physically abused her because he found her to be weak and different
He was a very abusive, rigid man and instilled lasting mental damage in my mom who then repeated some of the same in us
Deep down she was a HSP, a very loving, hard working, caring mother with a tortured brain
I'm truly grateful for this research in understanding her and myself
It is possible to be a successful HSP embrace the sensitivity and face the things you have to face in order to become who you’re meant to be. You are needed 🙏
She's very inspiring and gives hope to us HSPs. It's so nice to hear positive things about us!
I’m so happy to have discovered Elaine Aron. I watched the video from my local library app. I have taken the test three times and every answer I say yes. I am classic HSP. I have had difficulty from the time I was little to my adult years of 47. When I was younger I was always told I was I was shy. I was always afraid speak with my family and was rewarded for being quiet. I suffered silently for years. I was told that I couldn’t do anything because the world with such a bad place and I was told I was lazy and I believede that I wasn’t smart. I had trust issues my whole life. And being 47 I am very good. At putting up a wall and not allowing others in. It was very hard to grow up as a little girl and being an HSP with such negative surroundings. I have had to literally remove toxic people from my life. But there are some I cannot avoid. It has been very stressful for me for 30 years attending holidays with my mother-in-law gets drunk and insults me. I went home and cried for many years. It is not so easy for others to tell you to just to do this and just do that.I have been angry and my anxiety builds before the holiday. Anyway I am just thankful that there is a name for who I am and I’m thankful that it is beautiful trait. Thank you so much Elaine.
What I gain from my Hsp is being able to really enjoy moments without needing to own the things involved (big garden, private pool, villas). I feel so happy in this place and situation from just being a guest! ...and somebodyelse pays for it. Plus I get to enjoy many different places.
What I lose is power to focus on and run my life.
Learning to say "No" more often has been most liberating.
I feel like giving up... This trait is really hard to carry... Especially when the world around has not the least amount of sensitivity... A very lone struggle between what you are and what you should be in order to survive in this highly competitive world of ours... I wish I could manoeuvre my qualities and amplify my goodness and at the same time learn to deal with the dark side of this trait.. It just isn't that simple 😭
If you can, go to a Gathering:
www.lifeworkshelp.com/hspgathering.htm
There is also a group on FaceBook:
facebook.com/groups/2232091680/
I've always felt defective and that I'm to blame. So many people have complained that I'm too sensitive!
Thank you for helping me to feel a little bit better. I wish you the very best!
Fascinating, thank you. I always knew something was "off" about me. When others were relaxed, I was on edge and I was so hyper focused on everyone's minute expressions and change in voice tone. Now that I'm an adult, I can definitely see that I do get a lot out of self help things and get a lot of pleasure out of them. This research is so validating in helping me feel no longer "off", but just different, and I'm coming to appreciate and even love this part of me. I think it's truly special 🥰
I'm sensing a focus towards emotional traits. High sensitivity also has a physical component. Particularities about the type of clothing, sensitivity towards visual stimuli. Touch sensitivities. In my case, as a child I've always had to keep very short nails because the feeling of it brushing against objects would be so overly stimulating as to cause discomfort. Overstimulation is a very real thing for us. For example, when my eyes are touched the wrong way, it can be excruciating.
XuHui Z I HATE tags on my clothes, they hurt my skin. Going to a restaurant with TV on, why do people do it? Smells make me nauseou many times. Bright lights, WHY? And urban sounds, I won’t even start...
Hui Z So true about the physical component! I wondered if I was just getting too “finicky” - Wearing a different type of socks, for example, even if they are 80% the same as the ones I have, will really feel noticeable to me and distracting the entire day. The most lightweight, obscure stretch bracelets I wear come off IMMEDIATELY when I get home from work. Having to use a lightbulb that is 15 brighter is really jarring until I can get it replaced with the kind that I’m comfortable with. Of course, I’ve learned to keep my complaints to myself - but I definitely understand the difference these things make!
I can't touch flour since I was little, when I wash my hands too much I can't touch paper or wood materials bc the feeling of it it gives me goosebumps. I can't sleep if I have some pants on that make me uncomfortable, I get so grumpy! I know it sounds stupid but I have a lot of traits like that, so I think it can be very physical too. I hate loud noises and strong smells too like other people named here
Zippers running affect my ears, nose and mouth. Cloth scratching in certain ways make me feel the need to bite my 1st knuckle on my right hand to counter react the feeling in my teeth. Cardboard rubbing a certain way affects my ears. Sleep pants can't move. My sheets have to be straight or I go nuts. Anything even a piece of paper under me in anyway gives me rotten sleep. My family says it's the princess syndrome. Bright light or sudden change in light hurts profoundly. Loud stuff bothers me. My smell is insanely strong. Not a good thing. Many say it is but to many things stink far more often than smell nice.even a touch from ppl can trigger stuff.
Any babyboomers out there will remember footed pajamas. ( They put something on flammable in them) I needed to cut the feet off, my feet don't like being stuffed into anything!
I am very impressed! Her knowledge and vocabulary clearly shows she has clarity on this topic. This would be helpful for anyone, HR people in the workplace, any employee of any job, your family members, the list goes on. I am very interested in the fact that 30% of HSP's are extroverted and their results in leadership. Thank you!
I'm so glad I found this HSP stuff because now I know I'm not crazy. Lately, I've noticed that I seem to pick up emotions of people around me. I took the HSP test and I think I checked off all but maybe 2-3 and had doubts about those. The short of it is I've been very unhappy lately and I've noticed that I'm not liked by most people because of my desire to be solitary, introspective and not very social. It's ironic, because I've lived my life up to this point thinking I was well liked by everyone. Now, it's caused me to long to end this life because I feel no one cares about me. I've gone to several therapists over the years and none seem to understand what I'm going through. Being around people is physically and mentally draining. While caring for my terminally ill mother for years, I myself became very sick and have since been diagnosed with an auto-immune disease. I've been so sick, in fact, for so long, that I've withdrawn even further from people, which hasn't helped my social skills. The loneliness is overwhelming and the perfectionism is more than I can bear. I hope finding out about HSP will help me.
It will. Hang in there. You're not alone. Though i am fortunate enough to be part of the 30% of extroverts among HSPs, i've had my share of isolation and solitude from the over-stimulation. Know that you are gifted, as HSP have incredible emotional intelligence. Understanding human emotions is easy and many will need you to guide them. Good luck!
dear Paul I too was caretaker for years with family ( unappreciated at the time and ruined my career path now which I regret ) I too am an hsp...and only figured out what it is thru the Dr.'s wonderful work...what ive learned tho is that it's not at all a weakness...in spite of my terrible childhood I am a survivor having all these extra feelings on top of the crap I endured...im a 51 year old happy and fulfilled grandma now and it was all worth waiting for these years...and I have the immunity thing too, getting all the re fined sugar out of my diet and limiting caffeine to morning hours only has helped a lot I've also learned to take my hands and throw my processing away when I go to chew on a pain too much...but this hsp is a gift ive uncovered terrible people that no one else saw...I've left places before terrible events too place and oh I could go on and on...ive learned to use it as a tool like I have invisible feelers that no it seems virtually one else has on them ...I ABSORB ALL THE WONDERFUL THINGS TOO...I can breathe in a beautiful day and smell things that no one else can smell... it can make a beautiful life in some ways...I JUST wish my nearest and dearest understood me more...but they don't I'm living in my own textural world...bless ya and please hang in there we need our dear sensates!!
GettnBooted thanks! Your words mean a lot to me and I appreciate what you've written. I just wish I could find other HSPs to talk to and make friends. It's been a lonely life. Funny, I'm 51 myself. I can say my life is better than it has been these last 10 years, so I have hope for the future. I'll continue to dig into this more. It's nice to know I'm not alone.
Paul Tacoma She says that 10 to 20 percent of people are sensates, I would say that's a few around you...there are sensitive groups on facebook if you do facebook and there might be some near you...the funny thing is tho ive met a few some who blend with me and some who bow up at me TAKE ME WRONG lol and end up getting their feelings hurt so sometimes you need a ying to your yang I have a full life and tons of family around and yet I understand the loneliness and the need to decompress and be in my own silence sometimes...Ive just had to make myself look people in the eye and say hi...do I get rejected every tenth time yup...but screw them!! its their loss LOL...I hate to parrot what she said but now I have come to think of it as a super power LOL a tool to avoid dangerous or very manipulative people maybe not a superiority but a blessing and a gift...im churchy too not preaching at you, and I call it a gift from my maker...I agree for ya to try to connect with others like urself sensitive groups on facebook...I re read ur mssg, please do not end yourself look at what the world missed with that wonderful mr. robin Williams ( he was even the most sensitive astro sign lol like me ) but the world is devoid with the likes of us gone...we are the artists and the poets and the creators and the hearts in the crowds...yes it makes a tougher life but deep down inside we are tough and we are survivors...we have life to deal with Plus the dire complexity of feeling everything ten times deeper and harder on top of it...bless!
Paul Tacoma by the way im not an introvert with folks that I know im the life of the party and the funniest one in the crowd if im happy im joking every minute I am also everyone's fluffy best friend LOL very trusted and trustworthy and I get nearly NO return of that favor so that's where I get lonely and frustrated too...LOL what I need is a clone of myself to talk to LOL...the listening does not come back to me, grrrr LOL so I use my faith and my own wits and talking to myself LOl...my hubby has aspergers too so we are quite the unmatched pair but still work lol
I have to say, at 47 I am worn out from feeling everything. I want to save every child, every disabled adult, and correct every injustice in the world. I wish I could shut the empathy feeling off some days. I will turn a cartoon if I sense a troubling situation coming up. Silly, isn't it? My chest hurts most days, esp.if I know someone I love is distressed. I know that it is not rational to want to help everyone. I still cannot shake the empathy, it seems if I can feel their pain, it will somehow make everything better. My empathy is out of control many days. I do wish I could shut it down so as to breathe a sigh of relief every now and then. It can be torture. Lol! she helped me at minute 20. I should have continued watching before moaning. : )
you can't save everybody
After I get home from work, I sit by myself outside for awhile to shake all the energy from people all day, it helps.
@@pocahontas5616 Exactly. That's too much of a weight to carry. We ALL HAVE A PART TO PLAY in helping ourselves and each other. But the best gift is the one you give to yourself. One is KINDNESS , Another is PATIENCE. UNDERSTANDING.
@@pocahontas5616 you can start super small. A simple text, a letter/card, a quick visit. Don't think big just the people in your life and maybe people you come in contact with often. You don't have to fix deep issues for people. I know that feeling all too well. Make sure to rest.
I have never related to anything more then this
I was astounded when she revealed that it's an over abundance of Empathy and I've always felt that the world does not have enough Empathy or kindness I literally feel like an alien sometimes from Planet Nice LOL and my heart goes out to so many people and situations to the point of exhaustion at times and it bothers me so much that predatory people use this against me and hate my tendency sometimes but I tell you more times than not over and over again...in some weird way the kindness does come back to me, not from the one I'm kind to...but some other sensitive soul sees me and helps me just when I need it and of course I don't pay them back but by helping someone else often someone else who could care less LOL...this dr. is so wonderful and brave to talk about all of this...I was talking to someone else and in a few ways ive come to think of it as not as superiority and advantage in some ways, but a blessing and super power lol...isn't Conscientiousness a good thing?? I feel bad for people who don't feel bad when they treat others badly...maybe I should go live in the Far East they sound more polite!! LOL I cannot tell you how many times its saved me and ive rescued other sensates too!
+GettnBooted I think to some extent, and perhaps to a great extent, what we look for is what we see. Someone once said, "the most important decision we make is whether we see the world as friendly or hostile."
+GettnBooted Intense World Syndrome explains Highly Sensitive Persons www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2518049/
Greene Fyre thanks...
+Greene Fyre yes but I am not autistic I know that I AM a HSP I knew that for fifty years before I knew there was a name for it and had answered yes to all the symptoms recently in that on line quiz but I also know that I am not autistic I hope you're not saying that they are one in the same or are you just suggesting that all people with autism are automatically an HSP in addition like more labels yes I went on the website from the link you provided I cant follow any of the studies and science nor can I follow it for this Lady Dr. neither I just know myself and what I am and am not
I think a lot of HSP's get labelled as being on the Austism Spectrum, because both groups can get over stimulated, and both can have social anxiety, but there are significant differences between HSP and being on the AS.
This is awesome. I was always an incredibly shy & sensitive child. My mom would always make me feel guilty about how shy I was, and my family would tease me about my sensitivity. Now I don't feel so bad about it.
2 o 3 days ago a came across this concept (High Sensitivity) and started to make some research abt it, and it turns out that i have most of the characteristics; and this has been so liberating for me, to found out what it was and that other people experience it too.
Even thought i know i´m a strong person , this still happens to me all the time and not being able to put it a name, i have been carrying this weight on my own not telling anyone, afraid that they would find it so odd that someone get so tense or anxious and overall bad when confronting with "normal" situations, i even felt that awkward myself . There are moments when it hurts as well, to have such sharp senses... and some people can be really mean; the worse of this is that it triggers my asthma.
The funniest thing of all is that i come across as the extrovert but on the inside there´s a completely different world...
Now i started reading her book "The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms you" and in the first pages , she already says that it is important to acknowledge how we are , recognize it and not to be afraid to be like we are.
So liberating not having to put a mask to the world trying to play tough anymore...and to see that is ok to be just me and that it has a very bright side as well ... now i see that it is because of that, that i´m able to express in such a way as a singer...
I really hope that i can acquirethe tools to have an emotionally healthier life, and to know how to deal with some circumstances; but her statement in itself and being able to adress it has already had such an impact in me... i´m so grateful that i can understand myself better now...
And i salute all of you around the world who might read this, all of you who know how it feels...
Please don't use this platform for posts that are unrelated to the subject of being an HSP. They don't belong here, and I will delete them. Thank you.
I am so happy that I have found the answers to questions that I've been asking about myself for 20 years now. It is so relieving to know about oneself. Thank you so much. Be blessed.
She is talking about my life...
INFP. HSP. When this was first made public i finally felt recognized in who I really was. I felt completely understood without judgement. I am finally home.
I am a INFJ. interesting.
Being sensitive is a two edged sword. Half can be positive and the other can be intolerable. Half the time you want to embrace and the other you want to run screaming from the room.
I get this. I love art, I love to write and I love listening to music as it moves me deeply. But then I am so lonely. I cry at the drop of a hat, I pick up on the smallest infliction in someones movements or speech and I feel things so much. It is so hard at times, because it can be so lonely, socialising is difficult for me and when I get emotional no one seems to really understand why. They will say 'stop crying', 'you are far too sensitive' or 'you get scared so easily' and its horrible to feel like a huge defect. I get really easily overwhelmed to the point where I will then have a huge anxiety attack. I feel like things that people consider to be easy (lots of noises, parties, busy shops) are actually really hard for me and then I just feel pathetic. I know what I need to do to take care of myself but I feel like I am not allowed to, I don't mind working hard as long as it is at a steady pace or else I just get overwhelmed and when I try to explain that people just say 'stop being lazy' or 'well I can do it and I don't have any issues with it'. It can be so lonely sometimes. Has anyone got any advice? it would really help to have some input from another HSP who has experienced the same thing x thank you
+Pink Fawn Hello Pink, I know very well how you feel. I always feel like I'm running dry, when other people seem to just warm up. If you don't know how to do deal with being sensitive, it really feels like a curse. After having counselingsessions with a psychologist who happend to be high sensitive, I got a better grip on it. But towards the outside world, it still really hard to stand up for myself. In fact, today I wrote my family an e-mail because I can't keep up my energy towards them as I have until now. It always got me in to trouble with myself later. I'm still looking into this myself a lot too.
Just know you're not alone. Because you're not. :)
Just reach out to me or someone else here. Because you're truly not alone!
+Pink Fawn Hi there, I'm just discovering what it means to be an HSP myself - for the first 30 years of my life I've basically kept forcing myself to suppress most of this or I end up overextending myself due to emphatising with people too much. I also kept feeling bad for the fact that noisy & crowded places or strong smells or bright lights were actually really bothering me... so I would force myself to "be okay" with it when others were around, and then I'd suffer from the buildup of stress... There's much more I could say to you, but I am also just learning now so I'm trying to give myself permission to just go with little baby steps that feel right for now... most importantly, my advice to you and me is to be kinder to ourselves, first and foremost :) I wish you the best. Also, do check out Dr Aron's book if you haven't already - she goes into lots of details and suggests things we can do to manage our trait better. Take care!
Thank you for your support, both of you :) it really helps to know I am not the only one out there who feels this way x I will work on being much kinder to myself and will come back here if I feel I need more support xx
Hi guys, just wanted to give you both an update since you were both kind enough to offer me such support. I have actually started seeing a therapist who is teaching me to get to know myself better and to appreciate my sensitive nature by using it to my advantage more. I am taking more time to get to know my sensitivity and giving it the care it needs and then it return I ask it or warn it that I am going to be doing something that requires a lot of energy or may be stressful and I just need it to hold on until its over. Things have been much better xx thank you to both of you again :)
It's so awsome to hear that! Thank you for sharing that with us. You might have to change a few things. But you're going to be so much happier when you do. Much love and happines to you. I'm happy to hear this. :)
Very Humble!
Thank you. What a wonderful lady to listen to. So humble and kind and intelligent. I’m a HSP 😊
Thank you very much!! Thank you very much!! Thank you very much, Dr. Elaine Aron!! 😍 I'm a Japanese. In Japan, classmates-bully is much much more traumatic than family problems. Would you please write a book for the Japanese focusing on classmates-bully trauma? When I read your books in translation, I translate again in my mind from your word "family problems" into "classmates-bully".🖤🖤🖤 In Japan, HSPs are almost killed in school every everyday, on classmates SNS every every night!! THANK YOU VERY VERY VERY MUCH, DR. ELAINE ARON!!
finding out i am an HSP has totally changed my life. thank god for her book! I have since learned my mum is also HSP and my son too... we can now all learn to be who we came to be.. and understand and love ourselves for it
I used to function best on instinct. Intuition. We are old souls. Thanks.
thank you Dr. Elaine and thank you shari.
Your are very welcome, Hazim.
I am an extroverted hsp. Good to know that those also exist. Makes sense.
She is brilliant, as ever.
I feel like I’ve finally found my community..my home..my safe place to speak. I find it hard to speak to others, especially when I’m in a relationship..i was once told “you should get a therapist..you don’t have to say everything to me”..that was from my boyfriend..shit hurt. I find myself isolating when everyone has a lot of things wrong with them because i use them as my “personality” if that makes sense to anyone. Like i have my own identity..but sometimes it feels like my identity is based off the people around me energy,etc. i find myself in a dark room, watching UA-cam videos..happy as hell..not saying a word for hours..i love being alone..but i hate being alone at the same time.. ugh. Anyone else feel this way? I hope I’m making sense..i feel lost
I also would like to add that i do have a therapist...however..i talk a lot..when I’m comfortable with people..but it’s out of love. I share my love with them..the things i love..music...feelings..especially in music..a certain riff i can feel it in my heart bone and soul.. hope I’m making sense to someone out there..
Your making a lot of sense. I am the exact way and have a lot of traits you also have. You are not alone promise that!
This is exactly how I feel aswell
I’ve struggled with relationships my whole life. I was a late bloomer: not dating anyone until college, and only then it was because I was the one being approached. Most of my relationships were extremely short term, mostly because boundaries have always been a struggle, especially when feeling others so easily. I’m now on my second long term relationship (the first one ending in divorce and the second, which I am currently in, while she is extremely supportive she has struggled to understand my hypersensitive nature). I guess what I’m trying to say is just be yourself and honor your feelings. Everything will be as they should. Much love.
This woman totally speaks my truth! I'm reading her book "The Highly Sensitive Person" now...
How’s that book
It's just like born for the second time when you finally understand why you think so differently and deeply from most other people!😊
Thanks Dr. Aron -- keep up the great work
An amazing research. Thank you Dr Elaine
Connection is my favorite concept. To me it equals love. I don’t like being around harsh or haughty people. I am outgoing but finally decided to stay home. And to wait for people to call me. I enjoy being alone now. I get lost in the garden. And on UA-cam. I seldom make definitive statements. People said to me I had over sensitive children. I replied I’d rather they be over sensitive than to be uncaring.
Highly sensitives are very critical of themselves . It's got nothing to do with aggressive behaviour or psychosis etc. I had a good childhood n find myself as being an extrovert. I want to pay extra attention to choosing a relationship within my language. It's a deal breaker. Mx is seeking blood from his nose... he is a mean man. I love your experienced approach on the subject. I cry. Easily. THANK you for this.❣️
You are amazing, Elaine!
Eye opener in discovering myself and navigating/processing my emotions. Thank you for sharing!!
I love how each compliment she gives she takes it back to be humble. I do that so I feel hsp is me.
Keep up the great work, Elaine.
Thank you for this gift
As a very young child i had to be sensitive to my 5 older siblings. I learned very early to be sensitive to the needs of older siblings, or i had to suffer there punishment. You learn to read peoples faces and the snap of a finger you better be moving . You carrie this through your life. Your the one in a crowd that will set up chairs or attempt to satisfy the needs of a group. You fill needs of people and over load of consciousness. Not every day do you want to spend time with people for to shut this off in your head is like trying to guide a,d,d, or a,d,h,d. Children the thoughts keep coming. Appreciate this teaching . 28:16
My father took me to the racetrack too! I understood the horses. This went on for a month or so until my mother found out. I am an extrovert highly sensitive person. I was misdiagnosed 15 years ago as depression-they gave me Serazone (seratonin) all it did was make me laugh in the worst of situations. I also do get anxiety though. Thank you for bringing HSP to light.
I’m enjoying how much she loves this topic. Continue digressing, I’m so interested :)
This has been very helpful in helping me understand myself. Thank you so much for sharing this.
Thanks a lot for that precious share.
You are quite welcome! :-)
Thank you for sharing this.
Today I told myself I don’t have to go through this hell , I feel like the loneliest person most times and I absolutely dont deserve it . This is not happening for a reason, no one has the right to punish me like this from a very young age. No one. Set myself free I don’t have to be a hero analyzing the most complex emotions.
Wouldn’t it be sad to not care?
This is so true for me for the past 58 years I would think of my self as a missfit this puts the missing pice togather. I have lost a marrage of 30 years because of this but today I am feel better and an see much more clearly and what to stay away from today.
Elaine, you ARE a BIG DEAL! I found your book in the 90's while perusing the self-help section of a book store. A wonderful revelation! It helped me to rein in my responses and emotions and to practise self care in order to prevent burnout. My mother was an HSP and I enjoyed a happy childhood and family life. Now I can learn from your research and I want to thank you for your work and for sharing it. I wish you all the best! 🌹
Thank you Shari, we´re all looking forward to those translations
Very relevant research. Thank you for sharing this. It finally explains a lot.
I grew up always being called sensitive… my emotions, my sense of smell, my taste buds, my hearing. Hearing about all of this made so much sense to me
I am loving this information.
thanks for these videos!
Thank you so much for uploading 🧡
Thank you for telling me there is hope for me. I am a HSP and a survivor of emotional abuse. I am Monocular blind and SMI with Major Depression disorder. I would not mind being involved in mental health testing .I write with my right and see with my left. I have a type A personality. I was always told by my abusive father I am too sensitive. . I am a student who just got my Associates degree. health and human services. I am wanting to go further to get a bachelor in socail Work. I want to study this more. I will get your book.
The lines and boxes experiment is fascinating.
OMG!!! This is me to a T!!
Thank you so much!
This completely changed the way I perceive myself. 🙏
I've heard before that HSPs who had a difficult childhood are not only worth slinging into the rubbish dump - we can heal! - but when Dr Elaine said it here, that gave me a warm feeling that may well last a while! Great talks these are, and thank you to whoever posted them! (Shari Dyer??)
Thank you for sharing!! 💗
You are quite welcome!
this changed my life also, i am an hsp, empath and i thought i was broken my entire life, nope now i am living and loving who i am, thank you Elaine Aron
I've been diagnosed with a personallity disorder and bipolor. That can be a mager misdiagnoisis after seeing this video. After some investigation, i believe I am the higher of the highly sensitive.
I've found myself growing a hard shell because of the constant teasing and public attacks from others my hole life. That's pretty much it. Thankyou
Heartbreak as an HSP is the ABSOLUTE worst!
Not fun at all, I totally agree.
@@Shari225 Nope!
Love it!
I definitely agree that the acceptance of HSPs varies on culture. I lived in Japan for ten years, and I felt they were much more accepting of HSPs.
This has been such an amazing help to me. I’m a highly sensitive person and always felt so awkward around people, don’t know what to say or how to react to people at times. Also I get physically drained if I’m around to much stress, to much stimulation. I also have to sons with Autism that are highly sensitive.
Hi Rachel. I am an HSP. I need lots of quiet time. I am finding it difficult to be a teacher. I knit hats and scarves, draw and bake. You may be a good listener, a great quality to have-so, not saying much is not a bad thing:-)
Wow thank you for share with us such a wonderful talk of Dra. Ealine! Now i understand why i suffering in my first childhood with convulsions that none of exame confirmed a disease or problem. I took a medicine( Gardenal) for a 5 years at least. Now i see , im SHP.
These is very helpful to me I have always felt it and knew it but I never had anyone how to teach me to embrace it. I am in my late 30's and I am starting too.
So nice to see you speaking of this.
Richard Kelch Please support the documentary if you can. Share it for sure. The more funding, the better the movie. Thank you! www.kickstarter.com/projects/1795131939/sensitive-the-untold-story
This video changed my life.
Thank you for the great videos
You are quite welcome! Thank you for watching and commenting!
Thank you for validating me.
We are called empaths and there has been awareness about this for a long time. It's good that you have proven it scientifically, therefore showing we are not pretending or crazy as I know most of us have been accused of. It's not an easy thing to discuss always, due to the criticism we often receive. To me it's a positive and although it can be difficult to be so sensitive in a very insentive world we can teach others how to be more caring and aware. The feeling of helping people in whatever way we are the best at is extremely rewarding. So maybe now we can be validated rather than belittled by the majority. That would make life easier so as to use our abilities more openly. Thank you. 😀🥰💖
She's definitely a very thoughtful, considerate person, the words she chooses.
Thank u for those videos, madam
I am totally new to this, never heard the concept.
My younger brother recently described himself as sn 'empath'.
I run a support group for a rare cancer, and as part of that i answer the phone for newly diagnosed patients.
Many are devastated, or have many emotional issues.
I love that part of my job and am really good at it, as evidenced by tons of gratitude.
I never understood why people are so grateful, or why they feel i am particularly helpful to them, compared to maybe other people in the same line of work.
Essentially it is simply down to listening to what these callers say to you, how they say it, tone of voice, accents, vocabulary etc. Then with a few relevant questions, i can quickly get a picture of what they need most, in what way i need to explain things to them.
To me, this comes very easily and i have always assumed it is a learning process, which you hone over the years.
And a skill you can learn.
But now that i am hearing about HSP, I wonder if this is what allows me to be good at this job.
Better than non HSP people, or at least do it in a much easier way.
It would explain a lot!
However, it also explains A LOT of the negative issues I've encountered since childhood, and in relation to the rest of my work, relationships, ongoing family issues etc.
Strangely, i also relate to animals really well, or them to me.
I stop here, but so much more to say on this.
I am just at beginning of discovering more.
Thank you for posting these and for everyone's comments.
Feels like a new family! Xxx
And i sure value this right now, as hit a big melt down due to intense burnout.
Great presentation :)
Love her research on HSP’s. Dr. Elaine Aron and Dr. Judith Orloff opened my eyes and gave a voice to how I felt as HSP and an Empath, although I didn’t have language for it.
Когда я нашла книгу этого психотерапевта, я плакала. Всю жизнь считаешь себя не таким как все. Ты все чувствуешь, за все переживаешь, за людей и животных, чувствуешь их боль и радость. Учитывая, что в Сибири много страдающих животных, замерзающих - эмоционально страдаешь вместе с ними. Обогреть и накормить всех невозможно.Остаешься выжатым , как лимон. Вот что такое СЧЛ. Надо учиться грамотно с этим жить, справляться с излишней чувствительностью. Спасибо этой женщине за ее труды. Буду изучать дальше эту тему. Это просто открытие в моих 43 года!❤
We need to hope that I will be given a safe route to a safe reversal. That is what I need. You are the only one specific ,about who we are. We are good at spiritual warfare. TY.
I have been under mental health services for years and this has never come up. I feel right at home with this and know this is me. Infact I went to a psychologist once for an assessment and I told him I am sensitive. He said ‘I don’t want to know that’ He was a top phycologist at Chelsea and Westminster hospital. He tried to liken me to emotional personality disorder. I read about it and didn’t fit the criterias. One was lack of empathy and I have cried my whole life due to the wrongs of the world and the pain of others. It is dangerous to be so reckless about people’s lives and not listen to people.
I'm not highly, physically sensitive and not highly emotionally connected to others (just very to both lol) but I am highly emotionally sensitive - so I just wanted to cry so many times just listening to this!
There are two women i love in my life: my mother and Elaine
Learned that im an Introvert HSP. Always thought i was an Extrovert. Now i know it was only because i was working in an industry that i enjoyed/loved (tech-telecom). Dr Elaine Aron has opened my mind.
Thank you, this is very interesting, and makes a lot of sense to me! :)