How to get under the narcissist’s skin
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- Опубліковано 20 лют 2024
- Experience true joy #narcissism #narcissist #narcissistic
For 1-on-1 narcissistic abuse recovery coaching email me: danielle.radin@gmail.com
More on my podcast “Call Them Narcissists”: open.spotify.com/show/7CRhRYM...
My book on communicating with narcissists is out now: amzn.to/49bRMMF
You want to be as far away from a narcissist as possible. Don't try to get under their skin and don't dream of being able to change them. Evacuate ASAP.
That’s right bc they will decide a self serving excuse for everything even your accomplishments so this advise is useless in the end
Sometimes you are stuck with them like a boss I had. Sometimes you just grey rock until they destroy themselves
Yes
Not so easy when they’re your parents and you’re a child
@@TheDavo10001fr😞
I wouldn’t mess with someone that’s mentally ill 😔
Just walk away!
RIGHT!!! Some of them k i l l more than our feelings…
Indeed. Be grateful you are walking away and still able to function
I was on a call with my then boss (female) chatting about work and life while he was inside the store. He came out and saw me happy and that made his blood boil. He stomped and paced around me impatiently. I wasn't about to drop the call on my boss. He raged to the car and when I said my goodbyes and joined him a few minutes later, he drove off with my foot still on the ground. I didn't even get to close the door. I asked him what his problem was. Why he was so angry. He couldn't even answer... It's insane to think that such bad and dangerous behavior from him didn't surprise me anymore. 1 year, 9 months free from him and my life has been nothing but a dream come true!!!!
Strange how slowly, slowly we change our behaviour. I rarely talked to my friends on the phone if I was with my ex as he would silently rage
and you enjoyed his discomfort?
@@destinyhypnosis740 You mean his "discomfort" at me conducting an adult activity like talking to my employer?
Anything would be a dream come true after living with something like that.
@@fruitypopwhickle6806 yes, I don't care if he hated the color of your blouse, you gaslit him on purpose, which makes you the narcissist. Deal with it.
The very best way to get under a Narcissist's skin is to life a happy and successful life - they absolutely HATE it! I wouldn't recommend telling them that they aren't going to ruin you day because that gives them confirmation that they CAN ruin your day and that will encourage them to try.
Don’t talk to them at all. Give them a poker face when u see them don’t physically or verbally pay them anything ever again. They are Demons
You are right - don't provoke them. Just say "OK", "Yeah", "Mhm..." and leave as soon as you can, maybe find an excuse, say "Goodbye" in a kind way and go to a place where you can enjoy your happiness.
@chrisantoniou4366 overall yes, i agree with you. i'm a sore loser and a sore winner when it comes to dickheads, so if i feel my personal safety is not in danger, i got no problem running up the score on them. i just have such a disdain for fake and evil people.
for others if their safety is in danger, def get out and go/stay no-contact.
-cheers, steven
@@carparthero I understand perfectly how you feel. The trouble with Narcissists however is, it can be difficult to dissassociate from them when they are co-workers, bosses, family, or especially, significant others. They are also difficult to win against because they are master manipulators and even if you are smart enough to outwit them, they will put you down behind your back. They will also belittle you, denigrate you, and even lie about you to people who they know are important to you.
These are very nasty customers and the epitome of "fake and evil people"...
Not always if they are covert they will pretend to be happy for you while they come with a gameplan to try to sabotage your accomplishments or any joy you feel.
This is true. I guess the narcissist girl whom i used to love 1 sided was a covert narcissist because i noticed her behavior becoming more positive and warm towards me when i would be going out(i didn't go out much back then) or generally happy
THOSE are the real danger and this kind works WAY BETTER for WOMAN. Because man need to be confident etc.
Woman "showing to be a victim" is a regular thing, even when they dont are, SOME of them try to get attention by playing the victim.
Then you get some empathy.. Then YOURE FU-CK-ED.
in addition to seeing you happy, narcissists absolutely dread the nanosecond that you discover who they truly are, when their mask slips off.
they also fear being made insignificant (as in being ignored) and being abandoned.
ironically, the narcissist ends up (thru their own actions) making their own fears, become a living nightmare.
cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
Great insight!😁
Right like why can't they just be good people then people wouldn't leave them
@@writeousone8749 thanks once again for your support.
-cheers, steven
@@akanicolerocks711 the narcissist likes to create turmoil (or add to an existing problem) for you, because they can't get away from their own inner turmoil. making you miserable somehow makes them happy.
-cheers, steven
I wish I could like this comment a million times!
I CACKLED AT THIS ANSWER. YOU’RE TELLING ME THE CAREBEARS HAD IT RIGHT THE WHOLE TIME!?! The villain no heart couldn’t stand their joy and laughter and they could defeat him with their rainbow tummy powers. 😂😂😂
How to destroy a narcissist: Step 1: Joy, Laughter Sunshine and Rainbows 😂😂😂😂💖✨☀️🌈🧸
So did the Bible. As it states we’re surrounded by Demonics.
Love your comment!! So true!
Great visualization!! 🤣🤣
It may not destroy Narcissists, but it will repel them!
❤❤ 🐻🐨🐻❤❤ Care bears all along! Too true😂😅. Flying into a rage at your pure joy is definitely a little talked about characteristic of the narc.
I have 100 percent experienced this. They can't handle anyone being genuine... They don't know that experience and they hate that others have it.
Best way to win a game is to not play the game and just ignore, stop thinking about and live your life
Wow! What a powerful weapon! My husband used to leave every night, and I would cry and beg him to stay. I wish I had said, "Great, stay out as long as you like. I love it when you are gone and I can be alone to do fun things". I can see that would have made him crazy!
Don’t ya just hate it when you think of something clever to say AFTER the fact? lol
Call them a child...
See what happens...
🤣
Or a loser🤭🤣
😂😂
lol true. i used to tell the narcissist girl whom i was in 1 sided love that out of sheer frustration that she had a kids/child mind and she would get so mad 😂 lol
@zman3535 but they really do...everything they do even how they talk is so baby like...it's pathetic...they devolve not evolve...
Ya they freak on that. They need to appear so smart.
This is so true! They found EXCELLENCE in you and it was their little secret that they leached off of. Let it shine bright... don't hold back. Pedal to the metal.
F*ck yes my friend !! 🤝
Just keep being smart, beautiful and happy. 😂❤. The fakes crumble, the real stays.
They also seem to always have bad fomo.
This is so true and hilarious. Once you see past the mask and realize that their inflated ego is nothing but insecurity, you have won. Love and light I say. It infuriates them. Great video. Thank you!
This makes sense. Every time I was excitedly talking about something I was interested in, my wife would say that I was acting like a little kid or that I was acting gay or something. It's ridiculous that I was putting up with it but it's the boiling frog effect.
I was told I was too excited about buying my first house, getting a dog etc. Could never mention anything that made me happy
Success and happiness is the best revenge, ❤
Yes! let them see you happy, that eats away at them! \m/
@@METALHEAD550 exactly 💯💗
In the same way as "good taste", success and happiness is also its own reward...
Communicate with them at all and you are giving them a W. They absolutely hate no communication/ no contact. It’s best for You too Zero give them anything
Except when they've been bad mouthing you and everyone knows you had a very public success - they will do anything to avoid you! I have been in this situation and it was so obvious it was laughable!
My father hates communication, he can't stand people full stop. Only if he can toy with their emotions and if they can offer him something or get praise or make himself look good will he talk. He doesn't like talking to me because he knows i see right through him. He's on holidays now, and I know as soon as he gets back from Thailand he's going to start laying into me to fill the void of not having his little Thai toy to play with. Just garbage people these narcissists are... absolute garbage people... cancer of the earth
The simplest solution is just live. Don't expect anything from anyone. Expect yourself to create the reality you want to live in and don't give yourself any excuses not to create it.
Thanks.
😅 yup, this is exactly what my mother did. I'd say "a friend is getting married, cool!", she would say something like "her man must be so much better than yours" 😂 and she had never met the friend's fiance and knew literally nothing about him to make assumptions like that. It was so wild to me then and I still think she goes really crazy at her attempts to down my mood.
I’m almost positive your man is amazing she’s probably jealous of your relationship but that’s her problem enjoy your relationship and life God bless you and your family Love ❤❤❤
Ruin happy occasions? Years to discover this simple thing he does on purpose. Me, so fool..
Every Birthday..it took years for me to find out.
I was called a narcissist from my former boss. Glad to know he was wrong as I'm happy to see others happy. Being depressed can leave one to being labeled narcissist, I guess. But being around happy people genuinely makes me happier. My former boss would only tell me the negatives about his life which would bring me down and leave me not wanting to talk much. Thanks for the clarification.
I'll never forget this , this happened at my 40th birthday party and everything inside me told me to not have them be there .I was having so much fun being celebrated & he went into s complete rage ! Made me leave my own party and was throwing my gifts all the way home . It was the BEST & worst days of my life !
Yep I notice with my narc mother anytime I'm doing well or happy minding my business, her day somehow seems to be ruined and horrible 😂
After saving up, I brought a brand new high performance motorcycle home. While my son was shooting video, ther stands my narcissist wife in the driveway with a cake she had baked. She made sure that everything was all about the f*cking $0.99 boxed cakemix from walmart she whipped up while I was at the dealership. A black 2020 Yamaha MT-09 hyperbike Batcycle vs a f*cking cake, and she makes sure the cake wins. THAT is how utterly freaked out a narcissist gets if you have a moment of glory that doesn't involve them in any way. BTW: I later used that video to prove to friends and family just what kind of monster I had divorced.
Why did you marry her? Was she off the charts physically attractive? Just wondering how people get married to narcissists. Thanks and congrats on getting your bike
@@goldbrick2563 yes, attractive and excellent love-bombing and future-faking skills.
@@goldbrick2563 they often "mask" or play nice until you're attached - nobody admits to being a narcissist on a first date! Would be nice, though
@@mirarose2670 date longer
She baked you a cake?!!? Wow, what a b*tch
If you really wanna make a narcissist super mad then crack a joke about them in front of everyone 😂
REALLY get under their skin - go full no-contact. It drives a narcissist crazy, and they stay crazy over it for literally decades.
Also, it gives you the chance to fully recover
My home , my radio .. rare occasion enjoying one piece of joyful music, my daughter stormed in 2 twice n switched it off. She had been out all day having fun .. i wasnt allowed 3 minutes of joy.😢
If a narcissist isn’t happy, nobody’s going to be happy.
❤Thanks for this easy , awesome tactic! I love enjoying myself and having a good time!
My ex has walked away from me on three holidays for no reason only I was enjoying a lovely evening and was happy. It has always puzzled me why? Birthdays the last few years of the relationship relationship he would be moody and miserable then get cross if I tried to address it. Madness and chaos.
Thank God he’s a ex You go ❤❤❤
I'm a survivor of a Sadistic Female/male Narcissist. She/he was a much older Professor and Coach who tried to destroy my life because I didnt want to marry her or be in a sexual relationship. I let her move in as a renter in my house and she conspired with her druggy friend to kill me. It gets worse, but it's so wicked and evil it's hard to even talk about.
I’m sorry🙏🏻
I’m sorry🙏🏻I don’t know if this would help, but something that helps me is telling myself “I was injured but I am not my injury / i was traumatized but i am not my trauma (I’m more than that)”
Wow wow. This is actually crazy relevant to a very upsetting fall out I had with someone. Thank you for this.
Absolutely true!
It's easy to make my Narc happy, it just takes all my joy. 👀
I’ll never forget the first time I went to a store with my friend and I wasn’t dating him anymore. It was the most FREEING experience. It felt so good to not have to let someone know anytime I go somewhere or do something. Not have someone texting and calling me the entire time I’m out with someone. Tracking my location to make sure I was going exactly where I said I was and if I decided to go somewhere else COMPLETE FREAKOUT! So freeing to no longer have that apart of my life. However it is sad to look back and know I accepted that behavior for so long.
My cousin pulled this at a concert outing with me and my then fiancé at the time. I ended up not getting married as a result. Beware of these people. Great video💯
In other words the best way to get under a narcissist's skin is to be happy 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Just don’t let these types of people mess with your peace!
Danielle, you are a Godsend.
Thank You For
Your Service 🌞
100% true! Great work Danielle GNC!
Thank you ❤. Beautiful soul you are.
I like when she said that when the narcissist hurt, it was funny to her
2:04 No, don't say "you're not going to steal my joy today", etc. All that will do is make them summon a time when you stole their joy, and feed into their word salad and infinite argueing.
Just go grey rock and call it a day.
She said “Irked”…. I think I love you 😂
I did worry if I was toxic, but then I realized it was everyone else.
Would it help if I did a buh-dum-dum-tisch?
Not all narcissists are like that, I know some that don't care if you're happy or not. They're just self absorbed and see no one else around them.
Thank you! ❤
I have always struggled with school and have had to work extra hard because I have multiple learning disabilities. Once I got into a master's program, someone who was a friend of mine at the time started to become more competitive with me. She would start to put me down a lot. I know she was insecure because she got her degree online. Once I got into a PhD program she got even nastier. She would belittle me. I needed to cut her out of my life. She didn't go away without a fight though. She began harassing me and my mom who is in her 70s. Glad to be rid of her but I am on edge because of her.
This is very true
🎯 most truest video ever !
🌿Peace & Joy🕊
💯 they really hate happy people when they are in the presence of said person you will see their hatred for you
No lies told!
When you leave the room he says you pouting.😊
I was happy for 2 months when I pushed all the time consuming tasks at home away (paid some one to do them for me ) and cut down my OT at work to almost normal hours .. ex filed for ‘D’ without saying a word about doing so or even any prior discussion … a couple of decades .. poof . I saw the black eyes of the demon many times during those 2 months and all communications of any sort (2 text msgs) had to flow thru her attorney … it was more of a shock than anything .. her treatment of others including beloved pets was atrocious ( she put down 2 pets without warning for no reason and in secret )
What a blessing she filed. If it was your idea she would have been even worse.
@@PrettyIndependent1 it was a blessing AND a curse … the courts were apparently intent on destroying me financially with her .. I was left with $6k and my vehicle and some stuff … I had paid for everything while she sat in the house ( no kids living at home.and her daughter hates her)
She had been stealing for years .. at least since 2010 .. I made a lot of money but worked and traveled almost constantly but savings never grew at the rate it should have and I couldn’t figure out where it was going .. I had trusted her but apparently cashback transactions at grocery stores and other stores was the trick
I only figured it after the “D” when I got a new similar job in another state .. saved more in 18 months than in 7 years in previous high paying job,
I could have figured out she was stealing after another 5 or 10 years and been forced to divorce her with less time to recover from her theft . What I don’t understand is she actually screwed over herself as well as me by doing all that … in a big way … her brother who lived a half mile away she had estranged for silly reasons 6 years prior and he and his family were really nice and he passed away .. his kids were hurt by her badly .. and it’s highly unlikely she will be able to find a man that will ever care for her .. I can just imagine what darkness her personality has turned into now .. she knows exactly what she’s done and so do I .. I only know I don’t have to see it again but it has been very very difficult … everything about her had been a complete lie .. and I didn’t know it till she pulled the mask off entirely .. I think her own brother may have contracted cancer from the devastating psychological effects on him and his family by her deliberate and needless estrangement … he was my friend and we enjoyed hanging around each other and she hated it
Doesn't always have to be positive situations either, I once watched a grown adult have a full day tantrum because my cat was very ill and i needed a ride to the vet 🙄 trust me, i would've much preferred to not be in that situation at all, but to them i was just "stealing the spotlight"
Narcs are hurting so much anyway and don't want anyone's help. Best to run for your life and leave them be.
That explains why I’m always pissed. 😤
Definitely.
Got a better paid job = rage
Bought a house = rage
Got a dog = rage
Great advice! Thank you very much
Shit that opened my mind about my addict pos of a brother. Thanks!
Giving them any attention is the first mistake.
Its so dam true
I suspect this may be advice for people still not enjoying post traumatic growth. But I would suggest all of this will work but why poke the bear, because they will spend all of there energy trying to bring you down again. Just be happy they are out of your life and that you can still love and knowing they will never ever be able to experience love should be good enough. That is your victory.
I'd go out of my way to make my life look extra amazing and fun on social media because I knew they were watching and would get triggered, I'd purposely post in the morning so it could ruin their whole day. Idk what that says about me that I'd put this much effort into bothering one person, but I know it worked their hatred towards me just kept growing it was my own little prize. It kinda became my favorite fun little game, doing seemingly socially innocent things but doing them solely bc I knew it would trigger them 😈
A lot of years ago, I lived around narcissists. We called them mine rats, people who were human rats, haters, and so on. When they would start, I would listen, then start to glance down at their cheek or whatever. Then stare and shudder. Give them a nervous, quick smile. Back a step, but keep glancing at that part of them as if something disgusting where there. Being narcissists, they would get nervous about it and ask what was wrong. Me, "Nothing! Uh, I gotta go." One last look of horror and walk away.
How do you make the Narcissist enjoy the moment? As in, how do you improve them, rather than degrade them?
You gotta make the whole event all about them.
Ya gotta set aside any of your needs and constantly be right by their side.
(Including when they flirt with other people in front of you and degrade you in an attempt to elevate themselves).
You must fawn, gush, flatter and pat them.
Go overboard with compliments and be prepared to receive nothing in return.
Good luck
They will keep taking taking taking until you can't give them anything anymore
They're parasites. We get NOTHING but give everything
it's like the bad qualities everyone has magnified to the point it consumes some folks. people envy other people's joy but it's a feeling we learn to control & overcome so we can celebrate and cherish others, but you don't have to be a narcissist to fail at this. i have someone in my life who always snorts and rolls their eyes and calls me names when I'm sincerely happy...seems another's joy is inherently offputting to them. I try very hard to be good and kind to them and they often bully me. I don't think they're a narcissist but I know something is wrong. I know people with a lot of anger inside are just uncomfortable with positivity.
😂😂 my ex husband and I went to a festival with a couple of my friends. I was having a great time making friends with people around us. Later my friend told me that Kaye (the other friend) had said after ‘G is a really angry person isn’t he’….’he was GLARING at Rachel when she was having fun’ 😬
Bingo❤
💯
I’ve come to expect something backhanded if I get to do a special thing. I was wearing an event T shirt that had ‘IN’ as part of the logo- INFORMER. His comment was a snarky I must think I’m part of the IN CROWD now. What? He didn’t want to go but couldn’t resist a parting passive aggressive shot. Life with a narc.
The best thing to do pray for them.
No
THIS
This is a trait of all “insecure” people . I wonder if someone who experiences this anger when others are happy , could also not be npd….
Fact
Why would i wamt that?
I want to be as far away from being under a narcissists skin as possible 😂
Dr. Radin say Narcissist or Toxic again, it's quite trendy to say in this 2020's decade. 😂
I used to tell the narcissist girl whom i was in 1 sided love out of sheer frustration that she had a kids/child mind and she would get so mad 😂 lol
I work a particular narcissists skin by telling their truth 😂 or, present them raw data.
Both of my wives hated my joy.
Awwh
That's why they can't stand me laughing, or celebrating, or enjoying myself... They are jealous of me having fun, laughing my head off on some funny scene in some stupid (even) Chinese show, or just enjoying good sunny day "without rain" or even with the rain and feeling good. What a miserable people they must be... If there were no toxicity in them and all around them..
Parents..
Projecting
Is there a source for this? 😅
:) hahahaha u got it!
That filter makes you look 10 years younger. 😊
- narcissistic personality disorder
- hurting a narcissist might become kind of funny to you
Okay
I remember immediately after buying a christmas tree for the kids, my father tells me about 5 minutes after he found out that he's thinking of giving them money for christmas so their mum can put it in their bank account (talking about a 9, 5 and 3 year old)... lol... he's such a pathetic excuse of a man...
Great advice on this channel. Keep on keeping on.
Pretty sick if u even have to deal with such people. Avoid if at all possible.
Aerosmith is cool
I never understood those who call themselves narcissists with a bad physique, and a bad job. Bunch of clowns.
💯 😂😂😂
Sounds like my wife. :)
I totally understand that we should walk away from such people. But deep down I feel sorry for them
How about just move on and be happy
I think she sometimes forgets that not everyone experiences true joy, happiness, lives in the moment, has a big day, a fun event or has friends and family to share exciting news with.
Why the hell do you think we ended up with a narcissist in the first place.
You mean that you are an introvert with few friends and estranged from family or come from a family that is toxic? I am similar in that regard, but I am narcissist proof now. As you build up your self worth, you will make friends and have things to celebrate. This lady is extroverted and young so she probably doesnt know too many repressed loners from toxic family backgrounds. Regardless, what she says is true and she has wisdom.
@ick2563 Don't need to remind me that most happy people don't know how to deal with us freaks. I already am reminded all the time whenever I see social media and see that I barely have any followers, that most people around me would take over 10 years to notice my absence if I died, if that. Whenever I see people in their outings, with their childhood friends, in group vacations.
I do what I can and I made immense progress and I'm relatively happy. But it'll forever be angry that I'm prohibited from experiencing that kind of joy thanks to something I couldn't control, that wasn't my fault, due to the utter failure of the people who should have had protected me when I was vulnerable.
Seeing her talking about how simple it is to piss off a narcissist by just being happy with things outside my real of possibility is like being poor, unable to afford gas to get to work, and have some rich ahole saying "if you can't go by car why don't you go by helicopter?"
I don't see anything positive coming of trying to get under their skin. Emotional manipulation IS narcissistic behavior. It's best to move on and. Nurture your own healing and growth.