Yhanie P i am so sorry. You know what? You are worthy of someone who respects you fully and understands how wonderful YOU are, and not this douchebag who clearly doesn’t know what he’s doing and is scared to be alone. And rushes himself into a wedding. You deserve so much better Yhanie P.
yes. But you are gonna move forward and are going to be stronger and at a certain point you will be glad that you are no longer with your ex. Really. It takes time, but eventually you will. take care !
Yhanie P noone gets marrie that soon, this is a sign that your ex, was a desperate individual who needs attention or validation, this is not healthy you are better of without this person, you should google a word called limerence and you’ll understand good luck and thank the stars, because is the moment when we became stronger.
NC is usual something you think as a method to take ex back!! BUT, its not. She/ he left. She doesnt respect you anymore... SO... move on and forget about ex... NC is about master your mind, discipline of not wanting ex anymore... just you had history with someone, its doest mean that person should have future with you. NC is about self respect... and focus
I got broke up with, god this one hurt like hell, I went on mission to improve, decorated my house, started driving lesson, joined the gym, changed my look, got a better paying job, got out and socialise more, got loads more goals to achieve, but hands on my heart that’s the last time I’m stepping in to a relationship, I’m not bitter I wish her all the luck in the world, but I’m out monk mode while I reach for the top, no distractions and no more heartache
I know your hurt and feelings same for me. 9 months now and I’m just starting to take care in my mental health. No I can’t get into a relationship again it’s too hard and damaging! So you keep going an good luck 🤞🏼🙏👍🏼
I turned my week of not feeling hungry and depressed into intermittent fasting and keto and improving myself. I won’t even give her that week as a victory.
It's so hard to just move forward when you have sad memories and words weighing you down. I still get replays of the last time we met. It's so frustrating. But moving forward is the best thing to do. Your videos really pull me out of these sad moments. Thank you, Rory!
Allow yourself 2 entire weeks to be useless, feel bad, hate yourself, and hate everything that isn't your ex. Then after that, pick yourself up, stop checking your ex's social media, assume that they are gone permanently (even if you one day intend on reaching out yourself months later), and stop allowing them to so easily take over your entire mind.
My mind knows that my ex did me wrong. but my heart can't catch up I cry at least once a day for the last 7 month's . I don't know why I want him back.I know he's a narcissist like I said my mind is clear but I'm still sad.Can you do a video on that?I
Laura's Journals same with me actually. Except it’s only been 6 weeks. We dated for 3 years. He sent me a text saying he needed a break. Just a couple of weeks. And he never came back lol not even a text to ask how I’m doing during this pandemic. So yeah, it’s been so difficult. Crying almost each day. But staying strong to not contact him. Idk how long till I feel better .
Because of your vids, I have a lot of changes in terms of perceptions regarding break ups, self realization..still dealing with the break up but feeling better day by day coz of you, dating guy, craig kenneth, corey wayne..thanks for keeping me sane and strong..God bless
Thank you Rory ive listened to you almost 2 years. Jan it will be 2 years nothing....ive broke all contact from our mutual friends. My life has gotten better changed carreers and I'm in nursing school. I seriously think im about him each day he crosses my mind. I still love him.... so painful still
I love you man. Thanks to some mommy issues and self-work that I’ve put off, I latch on to my significant other with all my might. It’s now currently around the 2 1/2 month mark since she left me but for some reason this week has been the .absolute.worst. The anxiety you spoke of is so real it hurts. It feels like my world is crashing around me, yet I know it has nothing to do with her. It’s about me. I think that is what scares me
no video.....only a soothing voice. I've always had trouble with simply listening. Was so busy needing my partner to look me in the eyes I forgot how to hear her. I am glad I can't see you as you speak. I am learning how to listen. Thank you.
From my previous experiences with my exes. Moving on is the key to get them. In my case right now, my problem is I couldn't let go my ex. Even I m in 5 months of no contact. This attachment still the same for my ex. I think attachment push them away ! So you re right moving on is the key to get an ex
5 months? That's a long time. I have been in no contact for a month now. I'm running out of patience. I don't think I can last 5 months. How are you so strong? I admire you.
@@LaoSoftware now after 6 Months i can say „easy“ you have to bc time goes by and like everybody says, time heals all wounds only the scars will stay forever. ✌🏼
@@LaoSoftware it gets easier, the beginning is always the hardest. Of course though, you may (or may not know) that now, seeing that your comment is from 3 years ago.
Thank you! This is the only video I agree with with the concept of 'moving on'. I think the societal view of moving on is incredibly immature (which is ironic because I think the majority of relationships are immature) to just forget someone you loved and likely still do and find someone else. The real gold is learning from your mistakes and ensuring they never happen again whether it's with the ex or someone else.
Thanks so much for this video. All of your work is helping me. I have been working on myself and will not quit. Grateful for videos that uplift me and reduce my feelings of anxiety. ❤
Great video man. I think the key to everything is to act indifferent. Just today my ex added me on instagram after 6 months. I started posting pictures with friends and family and trips. Not spamming pictures but the ones that look the best. Started getting a lot of likes and attention and I guess she saw that. I am not a "new year new me" kind of guy but I feel empowered more than ever. Should I follow her back? Maybe eventually. I don't feel the urge to that right away.
Last thing, I also recommend making a video on signs that no contact is working or signs that your ex is missing you. Something like that. But I understand if you don’t want to because that might give out false hope.
Also I know you might not want to, but I think I somePoint you should make a video on success stories. I’m sure it will help a lot of people including myself and give those who need hope.
I tend to avoid doing success stories because it can also make people feel worse about their situation. It's been on my mind..guess we will see how it plays out!
Its been 3 months since my breakup.. and to be honest we never really stop loving someone. We just accept that they are gone and things are never going to be the same. There is a peace in missing someone and loving them from distance even though they are not in your life but still you wish the best for them, love them, miss them that my friends is love.. i never thought i would feel that but once we broke up these 3 months taught me some lessons which i would have never learnt. I was a arrogant ass dude who took things for granted, she loved me from her heart and i was just a possesive and jealous piece of shit no doubt i loved her but i was a immature idiot, but i dont blame her for leaving me, actually her leaving me taught me so many things.. no one would believe a person could change this much in 3 months but i did and i know, the internal work is real and a heartbreak is the most powerful thing anyone can have to change them completely.. yes i do love her and people do change guys trust that
@@vikaashbhattarai9014 yes brother. Doing good now, last year was real bad but slowly and gradually we get back to our feet, there was an instance where i saw her last year across the road and that was a euphoric moment, but it gets well with time, time can heal any wound, sound impossible at first but its true, time is the healer of all wounds. Give it time and focus on your goals and success and you will be out of that trauma zone soon!
My ex's birthday is next week, she was 29 when we got involved and she's about to be 32. I spent so much of my life with someone who never made her feelings clear to me. So much time feeling confused and uncertain. I don't think I can ever talk to her again. Someone who loves you doesn't treat you like this. Someone who loves you doesn't put you through this. I think I will block her forever
These have been really helpful. Life has been a hot mess since it happened. And though it seems I've been hung up on this for way too long things do get better day by day. The mindset here is something I didn't even think of. While them reaching out is not as important anymore, I better have my s--- together just in case. Hats off, my dude!
i dont have much of a choice i have to move on i think its pretty hopeless now im either dead in her world or shes already moved on with someone else or its probably both in which would be so sad.
I got in a car accident this morning and my ex isn't here for me, he chose to leave. I really think this will be what moves me on. To go through something like this without him shows he doesn't care about me.. driving myself to urgent care after a car accident lol
2 months of no contact and she just said “please don’t ever contact me anymore”, I actually told myself to let got just the week before but now..now I’m starting to feel hate and it’s scaring me
type beat Hey, I’ve been doing better. 6 months of no contact. I still have anxiety attacks mostly at night or when I wake up. A lot of my mutual friends are straight up ignoring me which is probably where my anger is coming from. However, I am more calm. I want to forgive and have been building towards that. I have lost 5 pounds and have done daily exercises as well as eating better. Life is getting better though the scars are still there. Just have to keep moving forward :)
Wow I have been listening to a lot of your videos. I actually set up a phone coaching for next week. I just want to say this video really hit home for me. Thank you
My wife filed for Divorce Sept 11, we have been together 18 years married 15 with 3-children. After she had our youngest she said she was no longer happy, loved me but was not in love anymore. We did counseling for about A year, only made things worse, neither of us was meeting each others unspoken expectations. She asked me to leave and give her a trial separation. I refused because I would not walk out on my kids. I told her if she is unhappy then she can move out. She refused to agree on a separation and retained a lawyer and filed for divorce. Our marriage has been picture perfect with the exception of this past year. No cheating, no affair, no abuse. She just pulled away and now says she is done. I loved her with all I am, but now feel like I need to let her go, she chose to destroy our family and I was in denial, then depressed, now angry and we are still living in house separated with our children. Can no contact after divorce possibly make her question her decision? She has never liked being wrong about anything.
Move out go no contact. Concentrate all your focus on the children, I'm going through the exact same thing at the moment. She just told me one day she's not happy and wants to be on her own. It broke me, but I'm going to focus on myself and make her regret her decision.
rory.. u got the best of explaining to us! i'm so happy that there is kind of people like you that we people need someone like you ❤ keep the good work and guide us to the paradise ❤
My Ex would have a way of creating arguments then because I retaliated in the wrong way (which I'm not proud of) I'd leave, feeling to blame. I'd ignore him completely, then start to panic thinking about what I'd done. I know he'll make contact one day when I'm healing, then the question will be do I ignore him then? My heart says yes, but my head says no. Once I get through that pain barrier I can stick to no contact better. I don't want to weaken and contact him because my head tells me he'll never change. 🍒
I want to move on and forget that i ever had something to do with this person since she tryid så many mindgames and hurt ways against me even when i iam in NC. She wants me but wont admit it aamd yet already dating secund guy. I cant wait more. 6 months is enough.
Hi Rory, it is amazing to watch this video here, when it was just last night when we talked about this “move past” concept in our Skype session. It is inspiring and you can’t imaging how helpful. Un abrazo.
After 3 years together, we’ve had 10 months of on and off. I’m 37 days NC and I feel much better than I did on my first day NC. But sometimes it catches up to me and makes me cry. I’m at the acceptance stage and I’m trying to get to the moving on stage. It’s been really hard. I don’t recognize the person I was a year ago
Demi Myka Legaste Day 10 NC was really hard for me. By day 97 I was doing much better even though I still missed him. No matter how fast or slow, time will heal you little by little. Healing also means breaking down, hurting, fantasizing of getting back together. So if you have these thoughts you’re on the right track. He will eventually reach out. Stand ur ground
Hey again Rory! Just wanna ask if you happen to know about 'Ambiguous Loss by Pauline Boss'? I've just come across it today and felt how relatable it is to how you presented this topic - where you said to 'move past' instead of '100% move on'. You have no idea how grateful I am for your existence - thank you as always 🙌
hello nice video. please do one with the ex blaming you for everything and saying terrible lies to everyone after breakup so as and thebreakup with a narcisist
I have betrayal trauma which makes it extremely painful to know that he took the risk of ruining our relationship for a girl 32yrs younger than him, a stranger who's only using him for money. My ex promised to send money to a girl from Facebook, he wants me to just be okay with that. He always had a weird attachment or chasing that girl. He ruined our almost 3yrs relationship for a girl who's only using him for money. It completely blindsided me. The anger and pain still remains after almost one month 😥
Please help me move on... My ex broke up with me 3 weeks ago, 3 days before the break up she told me I will be the father of our kids. And a day before we meet she broke up with me over text. Of course I deny that she wanted that because she used to be like that in the past and when she calm down she told me she didn't mean it and never to believe her. But back to that current day (during the text break up), she said I was harassing her...so I stop myself, no I wasn't abusive to her nor any bad person. I wasn't acholic or nothing. She decided to call it off telling me she "love another guy", she " choose her family", and I didn't let her do things which is false, I did let her do what she wants and I never change her. I let her be her. On the day of break up, she even swore to call the cops if I ever contact her, I didn't yell at her or anything, I stay calm even if I was broken inside. 2 days after she block me from every social media. I haven't contact her since the break up. I was there for her and everything and she went cold on me. All the good things I do...she seem like she forgot those and move on. I really want to move on, she was my first and I was her first. There is more to it such as her parents being bad to her for little things and threatens her for being with me and she told me I was her husband and I was her only hope for safety in May before the breakup in June. I even bought her a phone to contact me and I even pay for it, I didn't take her for granted or anything. I mean it when I say I love her when I told her that. But yeah she gave me those back on the break up and act as if I was no longer in the picture or matters.
Is finding another partner 4 months later too quick. I was with my ex 23 years married but she is turning nasty. I did want her back but I'm sick of been blamed for everything. I meet this women while working on Thursday. We got talking and i though it was only for 10/15 minutes but it was 3 hours. I felt attracted to her instantly and against my better judgement i left her my phone number. Today she text asking if we could meet up. She knows everything about me and the ex and still wants to take the risk. Am I kidding myself ? Is it too soon ? I am so confused i really like the new woman but I was still hoping to get my ex back but she has told me she is seeing someone else. I dont believe her but should i move on
im still in the process but the only thing that has made me feel any better has besn convincing myself that wanting her back isnt a good idea anyways and there is someone out there who would never in a million years hurt me like she did. Could she make her way back into my life if she really tried? possibly. but I never made more progress until I started actually believing that she isnt good for me anymore.
My ex broke up with me recently and I did my best not to reach out, text or anything. She wanted to stay friends and initially, we agreed to go to a mutual-interest event in August. She reached out a few days ago to say that she'd rather not go together anymore, as she needs to have space and spending 2 days together would prove to be counter-productive. My response was: of course, no problem! Also because I started feeling like being together, would hinder my healing and moving-on process. But I wonder, what is happening here? Why is she coming back and already asking even more room and distance, since I already gave all the distance she needed and didn't cause any issues, nor begged nor tried to prevent the break-up or giving the space she asked for?
Never give up, simply & lovingly move past the breakup! Listen to the video again! Moving past an emotional situation is an act of self-love! Take your power back and work on yourself!
Hey Rory! Great Video! Could you do a video regarding the topic of an ex reaching out to you while they are in a new relationship they started shortly after ending things with you?
@@TheLoveChat It means so much that you replied to me! I am really in a rough spot but your videos keep me going. Thank You! I'm not sure if I can donate anywhere but I'd love to if you have something I could pay it forward too!
2 months of low contact, she’s still dating the new guy but came and made supper with me. We kissed and cuddled and she said she loves me and misses me. We’ll see what happens. I wasn’t attached to an outcome and was funny and confident. Still didn’t seal the deal so to speak. I told her to be ready for a sleep over next time.
Rory, I have a question about this concept of moving on = never getting back with an ex. I know that that is not what you advocate but I understand why people are afraid to move on, because we associate the healing process with falling out of love with your ex and then, if you go down that road, of course you're not getting back together with them, even if they do come back. The thing is: do you think it's possible to move on while being in love with your ex? Or is this a paradox? Does moving past a breakup, as you say, imply falling out of love with your ex or it doesn't have to be that way?
Hey Rory, love listening and learning from you. Ive got a good question, When is it time to start dating again? its been 4 months since my break up I have been chatting to girls on tinder but Im unsure if I want to start dating again as I do want to work things out with my ex because it was such a good relationship and I keep thinking I wouldnt like to start dating someone and then my ex contacts me out of the blue and you have to decide if you want to break up with the new partner or not. Hoping you could go into this subject and maybe tell us what you did in your situation.
Grant Gilson There is no right time, it's just when you feel ready! Talking to new girls & casually dating doesn't hurt though. Certainly doesn't hurt the ego to be appreciated by someone who finds you attractive! Great video topic idea!
He was unfaithful by using dating apps to contact other women, he lied to me the whole time, I loved him truly, I still do, and I wish him well! But I am ready to move past. He already did. I can’t continue waiting for someone who doesn’t love me and doesn’t want me in his life, but mostly someone who doesn’t see my worth as a woman and loving partner. I feel deeply I need to block his number, waiting for his text and calls makes me anxious. When he contacts me and disappears I get weaker. I don’t hate him, but should I block him?
Gday mate I really need some advice I was 14 and my ex was 13 when we met (im 22 now) which was in music class we practiced in same room and it was the only way to spend time together. At recess and lunch we had to hang out in different parts of the school due to strict rules all grades were to stay in their own grade areas and after school she'd walk with me to my bus stop and we'd hang til my bus came. I lived 40 minutes away so it was hard to organise things to do together but somehow we managed to sort out some stuff and whenever she had a family day out her parents always invited me to join them which I did i really enjoyed spending time with her family too. We stayed together for the rest of the year but when the next year came and we went up a grade I slowly started to lose the feelings for her somehow (I think it cause of the distance we started wanting to see eachother more often) and on the last day of term 1 or 2 I broke it off with her at lunch in front of her friends well not exactly in front of them i pulled her a side and then did it which I regret fuckin big time I felt bad enough doin it. After school I was walkin to a new bus stop with a friend who travels with me and I told her bout what happened and I got message sayin do not ever call, talk or text me again and my friend calmed me down just in time cause I nearly smashed my phone we never spoke since. Now come my reason for advice I messaged her on facebook last year and we talked for a while then few months later she blocked me and I messaged her on my fake file (which I made after college to get in touch with someone cause our friendship was destroyed by someone who i thought was my friend) and she said she didn't know that she blocked me and she said she didn't want to be friends again or whatever I can't remember and she's moved on I said I respected her choice and if she ever needs to chat bout anything im always here. Then I made a fuckin stupid mistake few weeks later I messaged her hoping we could have a nice calm chat but I ended up messagin her too much and she blocked me and I said out loud WELL DONE YOU FUCKHEAD ya'v done it now and since then we've never talked. I feel like I still love her but I don't know what to think and i dunno if she loves me still she might but just doesn't wanna admit it I really need some advice anything Ps - The 2 best memories I'll never forget was her 14th birthday party (which her friends tried to throw me in the pool Lol) and when she stayed at my place 1 weekend and joined my nan and pops big Christmas party and lunch the next day I'll never forget those memories
Rory I made the big mistake of breaking no-contact on day 25. I text my ex " (first name) I love you and would love to work things out. If you change your mind, please call me." Six hours later she replied "I got your text". Did I do the right thing? I should have responded with this message when she apologized to me on Christmas day. 15 days later I messaged her that text as the last thing I said. Reason I did this, I hope I planted a seed in her mind and hope it grows. When she does reach out to me I hope it will be for romantic reasons and not "how's it going? Ect. or friend-zone attempts. Rory did I do the right thing by breaking no-contact to get this message out?
What if my ex is constantly messaging me and telling me to work things out with him but i found out he is seeing someone else? What to do about it? Its only been a month since we broke up. And he is been inconsistent on what he wants for the past 3 weeks and just this week he says he have a stable mind now and know what he wants but why is he stringing me along when he is seeing someone else.
Hey Rory, can you do a video on what to do if your ex goes back to their ex after a week of them dumping you? I don't know whether this is considered a rebound or not. I'm just not sure whether I have a chance in getting her back
Let them walk! It’s been 4 months for me no contact. Not once has he reached out. I love myself too much to give him my value!
Yhanie P i am so sorry. You know what? You are worthy of someone who respects you fully and understands how wonderful YOU are, and not this douchebag who clearly doesn’t know what he’s doing and is scared to be alone. And rushes himself into a wedding. You deserve so much better Yhanie P.
yes. But you are gonna move forward and are going to be stronger and at a certain point you will be glad that you are no longer with your ex. Really. It takes time, but eventually you will. take care !
Yhanie P noone gets marrie that soon, this is a sign that your ex, was a desperate individual who needs attention or validation, this is not healthy you are better of without this person, you should google a word called limerence and you’ll understand good luck and thank the stars, because is the moment when we became stronger.
@@yhaniep2325 be happy for them and glad you dodged that bullet haha
But don't let hate grow ;)
Dom T we are on the sameboat
NC is usual something you think as a method to take ex back!! BUT, its not. She/ he left. She doesnt respect you anymore... SO... move on and forget about ex...
NC is about master your mind, discipline of not wanting ex anymore... just you had history with someone, its doest mean that person should have future with you.
NC is about self respect... and focus
Totally agree with you
Today it's been 2 months of no contact . The tranquillity that comes when you stop caring is empowering.
2 years later, how was your journey my friend?
I got broke up with, god this one hurt like hell, I went on mission to improve, decorated my house, started driving lesson, joined the gym, changed my look, got a better paying job, got out and socialise more, got loads more goals to achieve, but hands on my heart that’s the last time I’m stepping in to a relationship, I’m not bitter I wish her all the luck in the world, but I’m out monk mode while I reach for the top, no distractions and no more heartache
Hows it going now? Just curious.
I feel you so much on that
I know your hurt and feelings same for me. 9 months now and I’m just starting to take care in my mental health. No I can’t get into a relationship again it’s too hard and damaging! So you keep going an good luck 🤞🏼🙏👍🏼
I cried when I listened to this. I felt like you were talking directly to me
❤❤❤
Rory you are a god sent. Please never stop doing this.
true
Topic to discuss: Why don't you feel hunger after break up
Electronite1337 I didn’t eat for 5 days after my breakup
Electronite1337 that’s probably just depression caused by the breakup
Your body is essentially in fight or flight mode. Basically, during high moments of stress, your brain doesn't think about eating.
I turned my week of not feeling hungry and depressed into intermittent fasting and keto and improving myself. I won’t even give her that week as a victory.
I feel you
When I lose myself I always come back to your videos.
Just got my eyelashes done so no more crying over this f boy, working on myself 😊
It's so hard to just move forward when you have sad memories and words weighing you down. I still get replays of the last time we met. It's so frustrating. But moving forward is the best thing to do. Your videos really pull me out of these sad moments. Thank you, Rory!
Bea Basi i also got replies but he verbally abuse me
Me too... 7 months after some things still haunt me.
Allow yourself 2 entire weeks to be useless, feel bad, hate yourself, and hate everything that isn't your ex.
Then after that, pick yourself up, stop checking your ex's social media, assume that they are gone permanently (even if you one day intend on reaching out yourself months later), and stop allowing them to so easily take over your entire mind.
My mind knows that my ex did me wrong. but my heart can't catch up I cry at least once a day for the last 7 month's . I don't know why I want him back.I know he's a narcissist like I said my mind is clear but I'm still sad.Can you do a video on that?I
Laura Smith same. Any update
any update ? Laura's Journals
Laura's Journals same with me actually. Except it’s only been 6 weeks. We dated for 3 years.
He sent me a text saying he needed a break. Just a couple of weeks. And he never came back lol not even a text to ask how I’m doing during this pandemic. So yeah, it’s been so difficult. Crying almost each day. But staying strong to not contact him. Idk how long till I feel better .
Steph G in the same boat. But only time will heal, and keep NC at all cause. Sending you love and positivity ♥️
R B thank you so much. Sending you love and strength too ❤️
Because of your vids, I have a lot of changes in terms of perceptions regarding break ups, self realization..still dealing with the break up but feeling better day by day coz of you, dating guy, craig kenneth, corey wayne..thanks for keeping me sane and strong..God bless
Thank you Rory ive listened to you almost 2 years. Jan it will be 2 years nothing....ive broke all contact from our mutual friends. My life has gotten better changed carreers and I'm in nursing school. I seriously think im about him each day he crosses my mind. I still love him.... so painful still
I love you man.
Thanks to some mommy issues and self-work that I’ve put off, I latch on to my significant other with all my might. It’s now currently around the 2 1/2 month mark since she left me but for some reason this week has been the .absolute.worst.
The anxiety you spoke of is so real it hurts. It feels like my world is crashing around me, yet I know it has nothing to do with her. It’s about me.
I think that is what scares me
How you doing, brother?
no video.....only a soothing voice. I've always had trouble with simply listening. Was so busy needing my partner to look me in the eyes I forgot how to hear her. I am glad I can't see you as you speak. I am learning how to listen. Thank you.
Letting go means your ex does not have any power or control over you.
From my previous experiences with my exes. Moving on is the key to get them. In my case right now, my problem is I couldn't let go my ex. Even I m in 5 months of no contact. This attachment still the same for my ex. I think attachment push them away ! So you re right moving on is the key to get an ex
You bet!
5 months? That's a long time. I have been in no contact for a month now. I'm running out of patience. I don't think I can last 5 months. How are you so strong? I admire you.
@@LaoSoftware now after 6 Months i can say „easy“ you have to bc time goes by and like everybody says, time heals all wounds only the scars will stay forever. ✌🏼
@@LaoSoftware it gets easier, the beginning is always the hardest. Of course though, you may (or may not know) that now, seeing that your comment is from 3 years ago.
i just found this beautiful and precious channel i needed this speech cuz i was really broken and this really helps
Thank you! This is the only video I agree with with the concept of 'moving on'. I think the societal view of moving on is incredibly immature (which is ironic because I think the majority of relationships are immature) to just forget someone you loved and likely still do and find someone else. The real gold is learning from your mistakes and ensuring they never happen again whether it's with the ex or someone else.
This was a hard video to click but I am glad I did.
Thanks so much for this video. All of your work is helping me. I have been working on myself and will not quit. Grateful for videos that uplift me and reduce my feelings of anxiety. ❤
Great video man.
I think the key to everything is to act indifferent.
Just today my ex added me on instagram after 6 months.
I started posting pictures with friends and family and trips. Not spamming pictures but the ones that look the best.
Started getting a lot of likes and attention and I guess she saw that.
I am not a "new year new me" kind of guy but I feel empowered more than ever.
Should I follow her back? Maybe eventually. I don't feel the urge to that right away.
I wouldn't follow her back, let her anxiety build up and save the following back for when she reaches out! :)
Okay, I can sleep peacefully now. Thanks Rory
I kinda like your “Hello “voice you got in the begging hihi ... thanks for all the advices 👌
Each morning, I let go of the things that have hurt me the day before so I can focus on myself. 🍒
Last thing, I also recommend making a video on signs that no contact is working or signs that your ex is missing you. Something like that. But I understand if you don’t want to because that might give out false hope.
Man your the best what the hell was i doing upset over her dumping me if she wanted to end it ok. But the way it went down. Some people have no class.
Thank you for these kind words. It’s been hard but since listening to your videos I find myself more at peace.
Thank you for your therapeutic and healing words. I believe you’ve helped countless people. Keep doing what you do!
Also I know you might not want to, but I think I somePoint you should make a video on success stories. I’m sure it will help a lot of people including myself and give those who need hope.
I tend to avoid doing success stories because it can also make people feel worse about their situation. It's been on my mind..guess we will see how it plays out!
It definitely makes me feel better! It shows hope. It gives strength. That others have done it and so can you.
U can watch coach Craig he usually post success stories
Its been 3 months since my breakup.. and to be honest we never really stop loving someone. We just accept that they are gone and things are never going to be the same. There is a peace in missing someone and loving them from distance even though they are not in your life but still you wish the best for them, love them, miss them that my friends is love.. i never thought i would feel that but once we broke up these 3 months taught me some lessons which i would have never learnt. I was a arrogant ass dude who took things for granted, she loved me from her heart and i was just a possesive and jealous piece of shit no doubt i loved her but i was a immature idiot, but i dont blame her for leaving me, actually her leaving me taught me so many things.. no one would believe a person could change this much in 3 months but i did and i know, the internal work is real and a heartbreak is the most powerful thing anyone can have to change them completely.. yes i do love her and people do change guys trust that
Hope .,. you are doing well n things are getting better with you .,. I was so like that .,.. bit my story is different .,.
@@vikaashbhattarai9014 yes brother. Doing good now, last year was real bad but slowly and gradually we get back to our feet, there was an instance where i saw her last year across the road and that was a euphoric moment, but it gets well with time, time can heal any wound, sound impossible at first but its true, time is the healer of all wounds. Give it time and focus on your goals and success and you will be out of that trauma zone soon!
I have been putting off watching this but I’m glad I finally did because it was exactly what I needed to hear
Ditto
My ex's birthday is next week, she was 29 when we got involved and she's about to be 32. I spent so much of my life with someone who never made her feelings clear to me. So much time feeling confused and uncertain. I don't think I can ever talk to her again. Someone who loves you doesn't treat you like this. Someone who loves you doesn't put you through this. I think I will block her forever
It’s been 4 months since the break up and my ex moved on it hurts but honestly it show me a lot from him
I don’t want her to reach out, I want to move past
These have been really helpful. Life has been a hot mess since it happened. And though it seems I've been hung up on this for way too long things do get better day by day. The mindset here is something I didn't even think of. While them reaching out is not as important anymore, I better have my s--- together just in case.
Hats off, my dude!
You got this!
i dont have much of a choice i have to move on i think its pretty hopeless now im either dead in her world or shes already moved on with someone else or its probably both in which would be so sad.
Never give up hope! Take your focus off your ex & put it on yourself!
In the same boat
I got in a car accident this morning and my ex isn't here for me, he chose to leave. I really think this will be what moves me on. To go through something like this without him shows he doesn't care about me.. driving myself to urgent care after a car accident lol
I hope you are safe and healthy!
Finally an ARCUATE description of moving on
2 months of no contact and she just said “please don’t ever contact me anymore”, I actually told myself to let got just the week before but now..now I’m starting to feel hate and it’s scaring me
how've ya been?
type beat Hey, I’ve been doing better. 6 months of no contact. I still have anxiety attacks mostly at night or when I wake up. A lot of my mutual friends are straight up ignoring me which is probably where my anger is coming from. However, I am more calm. I want to forgive and have been building towards that. I have lost 5 pounds and have done daily exercises as well as eating better. Life is getting better though the scars are still there. Just have to keep moving forward :)
@@thelavenderhatter5924 same boat , let’s stay strong
@@thelavenderhatter5924 have u tried counseling?
Wow I have been listening to a lot of your videos. I actually set up a phone coaching for next week. I just want to say this video really hit home for me. Thank you
My wife filed for Divorce Sept 11, we have been together 18 years married 15 with 3-children. After she had our youngest she said she was no longer happy, loved me but was not in love anymore. We did counseling for about A year, only made things worse, neither of us was meeting each others unspoken expectations. She asked me to leave and give her a trial separation. I refused because I would not walk out on my kids. I told her if she is unhappy then she can move out. She refused to agree on a separation and retained a lawyer and filed for divorce. Our marriage has been picture perfect with the exception of this past year. No cheating, no affair, no abuse. She just pulled away and now says she is done. I loved her with all I am, but now feel like I need to let her go, she chose to destroy our family and I was in denial, then depressed, now angry and we are still living in house separated with our children. Can no contact after divorce possibly make her question her decision? She has never liked being wrong about anything.
Move out go no contact. Concentrate all your focus on the children, I'm going through the exact same thing at the moment. She just told me one day she's not happy and wants to be on her own. It broke me, but I'm going to focus on myself and make her regret her decision.
rory.. u got the best of explaining to us! i'm so happy that there is kind of people like you that we people need someone like you ❤ keep the good work and guide us to the paradise ❤
Probably your best one yet Rory 💯💯💯
My Ex would have a way of creating arguments then because I retaliated in the wrong way (which I'm not proud of) I'd leave, feeling to blame. I'd ignore him completely, then start to panic thinking about what I'd done. I know he'll make contact one day when I'm healing, then the question will be do I ignore him then? My heart says yes, but my head says no. Once I get through that pain barrier I can stick to no contact better. I don't want to weaken and contact him because my head tells me he'll never change. 🍒
Make a video about ex dumping you for another person.
I want to move on and forget that i ever had something to do with this person since she tryid så many mindgames and hurt ways against me even when i iam in NC. She wants me but wont admit it aamd yet already dating secund guy. I cant wait more. 6 months is enough.
Hi Rory, it is amazing to watch this video here, when it was just last night when we talked about this “move past” concept in our Skype session. It is inspiring and you can’t imaging how helpful. Un abrazo.
Thank you for the kind words! Hope all is well!
After 3 years together, we’ve had 10 months of on and off. I’m 37 days NC and I feel much better than I did on my first day NC. But sometimes it catches up to me and makes me cry. I’m at the acceptance stage and I’m trying to get to the moving on stage. It’s been really hard. I don’t recognize the person I was a year ago
how is it now?
Demi Myka Legaste He’s begging to come back to me. I refused.
Demi Myka Legaste He contacted me after 3 months telling me how much he misses the good times. They always come back
@@sammycrazy4u awww. that's good that you are doing well! I'm on my 10th day of NC and it's hard, I have to keep strong. ☹️
Demi Myka Legaste Day 10 NC was really hard for me. By day 97 I was doing much better even though I still missed him. No matter how fast or slow, time will heal you little by little. Healing also means breaking down, hurting, fantasizing of getting back together. So if you have these thoughts you’re on the right track. He will eventually reach out. Stand ur ground
Hey again Rory! Just wanna ask if you happen to know about 'Ambiguous Loss by Pauline Boss'? I've just come across it today and felt how relatable it is to how you presented this topic - where you said to 'move past' instead of '100% move on'.
You have no idea how grateful I am for your existence - thank you as always 🙌
hello nice video. please do one with the ex blaming you for everything and saying terrible lies to everyone after breakup so as and thebreakup with a narcisist
Some of the best counsel yet
Great words of wisdom Rory, thank you!
Omg, I addicted to your videos and learning a lot. Also really love your voice!😁
Thank you for all that you do for Us!
I have betrayal trauma which makes it extremely painful to know that he took the risk of ruining our relationship for a girl 32yrs younger than him, a stranger who's only using him for money. My ex promised to send money to a girl from Facebook, he wants me to just be okay with that. He always had a weird attachment or chasing that girl. He ruined our almost 3yrs relationship for a girl who's only using him for money. It completely blindsided me. The anger and pain still remains after almost one month 😥
Rory you're the man!
thank you for the advice. however... there is no one better. everything you said makes sense.
You're a smart person. You have good advice. Thanks for the advices. Thank you so much I appreciate it😇😊
this is 4 months now for me after breakup from 12yr relationship it is emotional roller coaster but i know i will be good
Update?
Absolutely the best advice ever ✨
In the process of moving forward 😓
Me too good luck to us both ❤
God thank you! This is really speaking to me! Just what I needed to hear!
I really needed to hear this thanks!
Please help me move on... My ex broke up with me 3 weeks ago, 3 days before the break up she told me I will be the father of our kids. And a day before we meet she broke up with me over text. Of course I deny that she wanted that because she used to be like that in the past and when she calm down she told me she didn't mean it and never to believe her. But back to that current day (during the text break up), she said I was harassing her...so I stop myself, no I wasn't abusive to her nor any bad person. I wasn't acholic or nothing. She decided to call it off telling me she "love another guy", she " choose her family", and I didn't let her do things which is false, I did let her do what she wants and I never change her. I let her be her. On the day of break up, she even swore to call the cops if I ever contact her, I didn't yell at her or anything, I stay calm even if I was broken inside. 2 days after she block me from every social media. I haven't contact her since the break up. I was there for her and everything and she went cold on me. All the good things I do...she seem like she forgot those and move on. I really want to move on, she was my first and I was her first. There is more to it such as her parents being bad to her for little things and threatens her for being with me and she told me I was her husband and I was her only hope for safety in May before the breakup in June. I even bought her a phone to contact me and I even pay for it, I didn't take her for granted or anything. I mean it when I say I love her when I told her that. But yeah she gave me those back on the break up and act as if I was no longer in the picture or matters.
Thank you. Really needed to hear this
Is finding another partner 4 months later too quick. I was with my ex 23 years married but she is turning nasty. I did want her back but I'm sick of been blamed for everything. I meet this women while working on Thursday. We got talking and i though it was only for 10/15 minutes but it was 3 hours. I felt attracted to her instantly and against my better judgement i left her my phone number. Today she text asking if we could meet up. She knows everything about me and the ex and still wants to take the risk. Am I kidding myself ? Is it too soon ? I am so confused i really like the new woman but I was still hoping to get my ex back but she has told me she is seeing someone else. I dont believe her but should i move on
im still in the process but the only thing that has made me feel any better has besn convincing myself that wanting her back isnt a good idea anyways and there is someone out there who would never in a million years hurt me like she did. Could she make her way back into my life if she really tried? possibly. but I never made more progress until I started actually believing that she isnt good for me anymore.
Me too. Exactly the same. I'm chi chi. Nice to meet you. I like the way you sound
Great, inspirational video. Thank you.
Can you make a video about how to get over the hurt and pain an ex has cause you during the relationship.
Feel it to heal it
Should you forget your ex for having a rebound ?
What if you’re ex told u to move on?
I would like an answer to this as well
robert scott u move on , common sense . Love urself . Ur happiness don’t depend on them , it’s on u
Walter Estrada agreed
Feelings can change remember that
My ex broke up with me recently and I did my best not to reach out, text or anything. She wanted to stay friends and initially, we agreed to go to a mutual-interest event in August. She reached out a few days ago to say that she'd rather not go together anymore, as she needs to have space and spending 2 days together would prove to be counter-productive. My response was: of course, no problem! Also because I started feeling like being together, would hinder my healing and moving-on process. But I wonder, what is happening here? Why is she coming back and already asking even more room and distance, since I already gave all the distance she needed and didn't cause any issues, nor begged nor tried to prevent the break-up or giving the space she asked for?
Maybe she is or was seeing someone? How did everything work out?
I think another good question is also: what makes our ex not have peace about wanting to be with us either?
I love your vids. They are so helpful!
5 months now with no contact, I give up. I really don t think he will reach out to me again. I m just dead in his head like I never existed !
namy M did u do the breaking up?
Never give up, simply & lovingly move past the breakup! Listen to the video again! Moving past an emotional situation is an act of self-love! Take your power back and work on yourself!
namy M who initiated the break up ?
do not give up ever. my ex called after 6 months but than he left again.
Don't give up. Any update?
Hey Rory! Great Video! Could you do a video regarding the topic of an ex reaching out to you while they are in a new relationship they started shortly after ending things with you?
Matt Trest you got it!
I appreciate you my guy
I appreciate you too!
@@TheLoveChat It means so much that you replied to me! I am really in a rough spot but your videos keep me going. Thank You! I'm not sure if I can donate anywhere but I'd love to if you have something I could pay it forward too!
@@keats5207 just pay it forward and help others!
Three months im heal NC is for you not for your ex.If she comeback or not i dont care
2 months of low contact, she’s still dating the new guy but came and made supper with me. We kissed and cuddled and she said she loves me and misses me. We’ll see what happens. I wasn’t attached to an outcome and was funny and confident. Still didn’t seal the deal so to speak. I told her to be ready for a sleep over next time.
Amazing Man. Thanks
You're welcome! :)
Rory, I have a question about this concept of moving on = never getting back with an ex. I know that that is not what you advocate but I understand why people are afraid to move on, because we associate the healing process with falling out of love with your ex and then, if you go down that road, of course you're not getting back together with them, even if they do come back. The thing is: do you think it's possible to move on while being in love with your ex? Or is this a paradox? Does moving past a breakup, as you say, imply falling out of love with your ex or it doesn't have to be that way?
Hey Rory, love listening and learning from you. Ive got a good question, When is it time to start dating again? its been 4 months since my break up I have been chatting to girls on tinder but Im unsure if I want to start dating again as I do want to work things out with my ex because it was such a good relationship and I keep thinking I wouldnt like to start dating someone and then my ex contacts me out of the blue and you have to decide if you want to break up with the new partner or not. Hoping you could go into this subject and maybe tell us what you did in your situation.
Grant Gilson There is no right time, it's just when you feel ready! Talking to new girls & casually dating doesn't hurt though. Certainly doesn't hurt the ego to be appreciated by someone who finds you attractive!
Great video topic idea!
He was unfaithful by using dating apps to contact other women, he lied to me the whole time, I loved him truly, I still do, and I wish him well! But I am ready to move past. He already did. I can’t continue waiting for someone who doesn’t love me and doesn’t want me in his life, but mostly someone who doesn’t see my worth as a woman and loving partner. I feel deeply I need to block his number, waiting for his text and calls makes me anxious. When he contacts me and disappears I get weaker. I don’t hate him, but should I block him?
Good stuff
fucking AWESOME video
What if your ex wants you to move on
Gday mate I really need some advice
I was 14 and my ex was 13 when we met (im 22 now) which was in music class we practiced in same room and it was the only way to spend time together. At recess and lunch we had to hang out in different parts of the school due to strict rules all grades were to stay in their own grade areas and after school she'd walk with me to my bus stop and we'd hang til my bus came. I lived 40 minutes away so it was hard to organise things to do together but somehow we managed to sort out some stuff and whenever she had a family day out her parents always invited me to join them which I did i really enjoyed spending time with her family too. We stayed together for the rest of the year but when the next year came and we went up a grade I slowly started to lose the feelings for her somehow (I think it cause of the distance we started wanting to see eachother more often) and on the last day of term 1 or 2 I broke it off with her at lunch in front of her friends well not exactly in front of them i pulled her a side and then did it which I regret fuckin big time I felt bad enough doin it. After school I was walkin to a new bus stop with a friend who travels with me and I told her bout what happened and I got message sayin do not ever call, talk or text me again and my friend calmed me down just in time cause I nearly smashed my phone we never spoke since. Now come my reason for advice I messaged her on facebook last year and we talked for a while then few months later she blocked me and I messaged her on my fake file (which I made after college to get in touch with someone cause our friendship was destroyed by someone who i thought was my friend) and she said she didn't know that she blocked me and she said she didn't want to be friends again or whatever I can't remember and she's moved on I said I respected her choice and if she ever needs to chat bout anything im always here. Then I made a fuckin stupid mistake few weeks later I messaged her hoping we could have a nice calm chat but I ended up messagin her too much and she blocked me and I said out loud WELL DONE YOU FUCKHEAD ya'v done it now and since then we've never talked. I feel like I still love her but I don't know what to think and i dunno if she loves me still she might but just doesn't wanna admit it
I really need some advice anything
Ps - The 2 best memories I'll never forget was her 14th birthday party (which her friends tried to throw me in the pool Lol) and when she stayed at my place 1 weekend and joined my nan and pops big Christmas party and lunch the next day I'll never forget those memories
Truth brother
Thank you
My ex said she wasn't happy and wants me to be happy and to let her go I'm blocked everywhere as well I'm screwed :'(
If u broke the no contact rule and y'all just chillin does that cut off any chance of a relationship again
What if you see your ex everyday day how to deal with it
Trafalgar Law ouch look for another job
Please make a video on how to be, when your ex is in the same field / workplace.
Added to the list!
yeah that would be helpful. how to get an ex back if you see them everyday like at university
Rory I made the big mistake of breaking no-contact on day 25. I text my ex " (first name) I love you and would love to work things out. If you change your mind, please call me." Six hours later she replied "I got your text". Did I do the right thing? I should have responded with this message when she apologized to me on Christmas day. 15 days later I messaged her that text as the last thing I said. Reason I did this, I hope I planted a seed in her mind and hope it grows. When she does reach out to me I hope it will be for romantic reasons and not "how's it going? Ect. or friend-zone attempts. Rory did I do the right thing by breaking no-contact to get this message out?
I wouldn't have reached out, but you're fine. No worries. Just don't do it again!
Okay.
I think I may have made my situation worse.
Why not doing on how to chase a girl instead of coaching on breakups only
What if my ex is constantly messaging me and telling me to work things out with him but i found out he is seeing someone else? What to do about it? Its only been a month since we broke up. And he is been inconsistent on what he wants for the past 3 weeks and just this week he says he have a stable mind now and know what he wants but why is he stringing me along when he is seeing someone else.
Not going to lie to you. That person sounds like a piece of shit.
Hey Rory, can you do a video on what to do if your ex goes back to their ex after a week of them dumping you? I don't know whether this is considered a rebound or not. I'm just not sure whether I have a chance in getting her back
Sure thing! Stay tuned!
Your partner wants their ex back. I want my ex back. Everyone wants their ex back. You should do a Skpe with Rory.
@@LaoSoftware LOL