211. The Dumper Experience

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  • Опубліковано 3 жов 2024

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  • @TheLoveChat
    @TheLoveChat  4 роки тому +31

    We are having a coaching sale until the end of December: www.TheLoveChat.net/coaching & we are doing a Livestream 12/11 at 11am EST where i'll answer your questions for free on UA-cam! Hope to see you there!

    • @crx1stgen25
      @crx1stgen25 4 роки тому +1

      Hey Rory, I wanted to let you know that you have helped me a lot in getting over my ex. I am not totally over her, but mostly... My question to you is, is that if you've been broken up for a few months and you've started talking to an old friend from High School that you connected to really well back then, how do you know when its a good time to come clean with your ex that you've moved on? I'm still on the fence right now, as my ex and I have a long history together, but I'm not entirely sure that re-kindling this old flame is better than what I've had. A very tough situation for me now, and I'd love to see a video about it, or maybe you can address it in a live stream. Much appreciated my friend :)

    • @blainetroy9135
      @blainetroy9135 3 роки тому

      instablaster

    • @robtav9081
      @robtav9081 2 роки тому

      Ll l

    • @robtav9081
      @robtav9081 2 роки тому

      Ll

  • @sallyscott7555
    @sallyscott7555 4 роки тому +590

    When they come back, we are the ones that don't want them back.

    • @MG-er3co
      @MG-er3co 4 роки тому +15

      sally scott if they ever come back 😫

    • @cycolburn99
      @cycolburn99 4 роки тому +20

      It’s like getting a Zombie back if they have not changed

    • @mtbridingog9083
      @mtbridingog9083 3 роки тому +11

      @@MG-er3co they will if they knew what they really had ..

    • @lols5851
      @lols5851 3 роки тому +2

      Update?

    • @baggergurl16
      @baggergurl16 4 місяці тому

      I love how the tables turn on them that way

  • @veronicavital9859
    @veronicavital9859 4 роки тому +755

    Its been 9 months since I talked to my ex. I just want to let everyone know it gets easier. I’m not saying you’ll feel 100% better but you’ll start feeling a little better everyday. Some days are good and some will still be bad. Healing will not be an overnight process it takes time. One day you’ll think you’re good and then one day you’ll start crying and missing the person. One day you’ll miss them and still want them back. Another day you’ll feel like things weren’t working out so it was better for things to end and that you deserve someone who will never give up on you. Just focus on you and realize that you’re in charge of your own happiness. Don’t allow someone to have control of it.

    • @Razor5313
      @Razor5313 4 роки тому +16

      That's exactly how I feel, I had not spoken with my ex for the same amount of times. They are days it gets easier, but then they are days where I feel really sad missing her

    • @blackspringbird
      @blackspringbird 4 роки тому +21

      Thank you for writing this, I thought there was something wrong with me. I suddenly felt really low after almost 6 months no contact, just when I thought I was doing better! Thank you for normalising this, even though it still sucks.

    • @Razor5313
      @Razor5313 4 роки тому +6

      blackspringbird You are welcome, its understandable how you feel though. We formed a deep connection with them, so its okay to miss them and feel sad that they are not part of our life’s. I see this as normal, in due time it won’t hurt as much. I feel all of us have our own unique healing process, others might takes less while others might take longer.

    • @YT-DAD-BASS-ASSASSIN
      @YT-DAD-BASS-ASSASSIN 4 роки тому +12

      Yall arnt alone,same situation for me to,9months and I still have good days and bad days,I'm sticking to the plan and steadying the course of self improvement and no contact..sorry yall are going through everything but it's nice to know I'm not alone in my feelings after so long

    • @vivianmontgomery9082
      @vivianmontgomery9082 4 роки тому +7

      This is exactly like how I am, I go back and forth, up and down.

  • @acalvillo35
    @acalvillo35 4 роки тому +638

    “No contact works to get YOU back.” -Rory. Remember this people!

    • @wirantinurardiani9046
      @wirantinurardiani9046 4 роки тому +5

      How long did it take for your NC to work?
      I've been in week 4.

    • @acalvillo35
      @acalvillo35 4 роки тому +14

      wiranti nur ardiani I haven’t got my ex back. but have almost got myself back, which is the best thing for me at the moment. I’ve learned so much from the breakup, which I wouldn’t have learned on my own. I still miss her and want her back, but my needs come before her.

    • @wirantinurardiani9046
      @wirantinurardiani9046 4 роки тому +7

      I see.. I didnt get the YOU part.
      I agree. I still love my ex, I miss him, but I dont think I want him back tho. My NC is just for me to know if he suffers the way I do, or if he's back, I'll get back my dignity that's been stamped on by him.. maybe I'll refuse the offer to be back together. The point is I too, am finding myself again. Working on myself again, that isbthr best lesson.. Good luck. ❤

    • @THEWalrus271
      @THEWalrus271 4 роки тому +2

      I never had me anyway

    • @cycolburn99
      @cycolburn99 4 роки тому +1

      wiranti nur ardiani it’s not about getting them back it’s about you doing personal growth & that attracts them back.

  • @adamoart211
    @adamoart211 3 роки тому +100

    REMEMBER: You can do almost everything right and still NOT get your ex back. Don't sit around waiting on them, you've got a life to live!

  • @rezkykamal1004
    @rezkykamal1004 4 роки тому +286

    You don't need you ex to be happy, remember that people💪

  • @mitchmoriarty4202
    @mitchmoriarty4202 4 роки тому +241

    Give me strength friends Edit: doing 10,000 times better friends :)

  • @cng1604
    @cng1604 4 роки тому +139

    No contact is to get my soul back

  • @coveredinash4787
    @coveredinash4787 3 роки тому +33

    14:49
    "No contact works to get an ex back. It works even better to get YOU back."
    Beautiful!

  • @jackeliot4497
    @jackeliot4497 4 роки тому +265

    I got into a new relationship and things are really turning around. My new partner is called self development and she is really one hell of a gal. I honestly feel a lot better than I was inside the relationship. I am forming my dream body and really discovering things about myself I never knew. I am experimenting with clothing styles and meeting new girls. Focus on yourselves and take this as an opportunity to create a new you. This is like a create a character screen or like a rebirth in dark souls 3. Restart and change yourself to have what you admire in others. Thanks Rory, this is one hell of a channel.

    • @christophervibe7430
      @christophervibe7430 4 роки тому +1

      Tommy Eliot I love this bcuz this is exactly true

    • @buek14
      @buek14 4 роки тому +1

      I could have written the same just with some MMORPG game lol.

    • @karenzhang1020
      @karenzhang1020 4 роки тому +1

      You are in a new relationship now, but still meeting new girls? 🤔😄

    • @karebeardances4553
      @karebeardances4553 3 роки тому

      Amazing analogy!

  • @leed2624
    @leed2624 4 роки тому +162

    No one who left your life should ever be sought after. People leave relationships because it's not working for them. That being the case, let them go... let them be. It hurts but that's life. If someone doesn't want to be with you accept it, do the work, heal and move forward. It gets better with time

    • @Zucimax
      @Zucimax 3 роки тому

      I have to respectfully disagree just because I'm a widow and I got scared.

  • @audreybraids7260
    @audreybraids7260 4 роки тому +75

    I did a 9 months no contact, what a race, but a Power winner, yes it works, I am living for me, all my energy is back and now everything is under my time💖💖

    • @lols5851
      @lols5851 4 роки тому +3

      Did he reach out?

  • @VermontV8
    @VermontV8 4 роки тому +117

    I experienced both sides, and I can say it sucks for both sides. The difference is in time when you go through your personal nightmare. And often dumper and dumpee switch sides later as time goes on

    • @ett2
      @ett2 4 роки тому +6

      That gives me some hope. I recently heard my ex has been asking about me. (After 8 months) she has even contacted me a few times asking for Christmas decorations that probably total $25

    • @seanrooney170
      @seanrooney170 4 роки тому +3

      So u say it's true that the dumper will feel bad and miss the dumpee in time?

    • @VermontV8
      @VermontV8 4 роки тому +23

      @@seanrooney170 once the dumper realizes he/she had made a mistake, u bet he/she starts to feel just as bad as the dumpee did. It's exactly the one same feeling. Flipping sides happens. Another question is whether they will realize their mistake or not. Well that depends on how much they happy or disappointed facing reality after the break up. Expectations tend to fail as usual, so..

    • @seanrooney170
      @seanrooney170 4 роки тому +11

      @@VermontV8 for the most part both of us were EXTREMELY HAPPY and talked about marriage and kids. So it was going well. Sure there was problems near the end hence why I'm hear but I find it hard to believe she can throw away those types of feelings so soon

    • @VermontV8
      @VermontV8 4 роки тому +12

      @@seanrooney170 I feel you man, I had same exact thoughts. The fact is women act irrational based on emotions and feelings and they got these things change like wind blows

  • @nexttytreporter2598
    @nexttytreporter2598 3 роки тому +60

    This makes sense now, when you go complete no contact you are in turn rejecting them. They then think, hey that's not how this is suppose to work, I rejected you you're suppose to want me more. It confuses them and their psyche. Then they start to think about you more.

    • @wilted_rose510
      @wilted_rose510 3 роки тому +1

      i agree with you but sometimes the dumper does let go because the dumpee was neglecting them A LOT. sometimes its best to lower your pride and actually reach out to the dumper and win them over again. the question is WHY did the person let go. if it was about neglect snd needing to value oneself then no contact will push them further apart when all was needed was extra love and time

    • @wilfridjoseph6172
      @wilfridjoseph6172 2 роки тому

      Yes totally true

  • @adamoart211
    @adamoart211 4 роки тому +108

    We all at some point assume that our exs are doing much better than we are because we have no idea what they are truly feeling. And anything you might see on social media is all smoke and mirrors. This video is encouraging on many levels. Thanks for this!

    • @adaptercrash
      @adaptercrash Рік тому

      Some answers of his life ill be here forever go talk to your other one

  • @ares7521
    @ares7521 4 роки тому +11

    „NoContact does work to get your ex back, it works even better to get you back.“ Best line of the video

  • @xioncorp
    @xioncorp 4 роки тому +41

    Time is the best healer, when you start thinking straight, you realise that life is better without them

  • @deanhamsah
    @deanhamsah 4 роки тому +184

    Its been almost 2 months i never contact my 7years exgf , i do miss her but i keep myself busying with my preparation. Wish me luck with my kickboxing title fight end of this week, is been a while i never be this focus 🔥💯

    • @msboo13
      @msboo13 4 роки тому +5

      Dean Hamsah hi update please

    • @ethanorr1135
      @ethanorr1135 4 роки тому +4

      Dean Hamsah did you win?

    • @troyesivan7069
      @troyesivan7069 4 роки тому +1

      Update?

    • @deanhamsah
      @deanhamsah 4 роки тому +19

      Ethan Orr hi, ya i won my title belt 🔥 my ex did texted me just to take back her stuff and telling me she is with someone new . I just said “im happy for u and take care” . Just stay with no contact my friend , u dont always get the result what u want but u will get better result if u keep working on yourself . Cheers !

    • @MrGeekster007
      @MrGeekster007 4 роки тому +3

      @@deanhamsah what about now? Possibly a rebound? 🤔

  • @eveglo1724
    @eveglo1724 4 роки тому +21

    Hello Rory,
    I want to start by saying thank you! I was dumped by my bf during the month of September. I was so lost and I didn’t know what to do when I found your videos, I listen to them everyday. I started of with no contact immediately. With 2 months of NC he reached out to me and apologized for everything started saying that he missed me and wanted to try again. We are better than ever. THANK YOU SO MUCH! Everyone listen to Rory it’s hard af at first but it get easier if they don’t come back you get someone better! Or you become a better you I know I become a better me during the break. Thank you again!

  • @theninjaproject1331
    @theninjaproject1331 4 роки тому +50

    your videos allows me to heal with my ex after 7 months and now im with my new gf just last month . im more mature with my relationship because of your videos. thanks rory :)

  • @penguinlove8888
    @penguinlove8888 4 роки тому +41

    I prefer a guarantee payout. Working hard and achieving your goals and even if they don’t come back, YOU win yourself back. Appreciate the work Love Chat

  • @आदित्य-फ4प
    @आदित्य-फ4प 4 роки тому +31

    The more pure, truthful and honest your love is, the easy it is to move on.

    • @gracesavior8201
      @gracesavior8201 4 роки тому

      this is weird but its nice to hear

    • @wilted_rose510
      @wilted_rose510 3 роки тому +4

      yeah because you gave it your all and it ended bc of someone else's shortcomings. they will regret it despite being the dumpee with the upper hand. it will haunt them that they took you for granted

  • @almaespinosa8293
    @almaespinosa8293 4 роки тому +25

    Been in NC for almost a month. Got my peace of my mind by praying and constantly listening to your videos. Thanks Rory.

  • @Suitopi
    @Suitopi 4 роки тому +20

    Nothing motivates more than a breakup. Thank you for another great video Rory ☺️

  • @kwamenyantakyi8398
    @kwamenyantakyi8398 4 роки тому +18

    I think it's important to say that this does not include Abusive or Manipulative exes !

  • @ericgilbert8725
    @ericgilbert8725 4 роки тому +15

    When feeling like you are physically dying and you're too upset to work, too restless to sleep, too worried get any rest, I can assure you listening to Rory and getting off your ass will get you through. I promise. I had the worst relationship of my life come to an end (for countless reasons). I had guilt, was depressed, and did whatever to get her back. Through the progressive journey and getting back into dating after around 6 months of being single, I met my current girlfriend. We will officially be a couple as of Dec. 9th! She is the most amazing and incredible girl I have ever been with. And thanks to learning from my mistakes, and experiencing bad from the previous heartbreak, I appreciate my girlfriend so much more than I would have now. Keep the Faith. Build yourself up. Focus on you and you'll find a much better girl! Listen to this guy too.

  • @thadwayneferrwalt147
    @thadwayneferrwalt147 4 роки тому +37

    Nice. Very realistic. Not all exes come back even if we did everything to get them back correctly. So, we shouldn't blame ourselves and instead work on ourselves.

  • @honestreview205
    @honestreview205 4 роки тому +36

    Time duration for getting over your ex is different for everyone. It's been 10 months for me and I am 95% over her. I do not even want her back anymore there are better women out there. The first 6 months I thought I will never be able to recover.
    No matter how long it takes but you will move on eventually and will be back to your self again.

  • @eimajine139
    @eimajine139 4 роки тому +9

    hi! i just want to inform you that your videos helped me so much through my ugly breakup. at first i was inspired to do the "no contact period" in hopes that he will contact me again, as i have been the one who kept on running back to his arms before. 3 weeks after i did the no contact, my perspective changed and instead of doing no contact to help him get back to me, i was at the point where i started to realize how toxic he actually was to me. so when he finally did message me, (YES EVERYONE, NO CONTACT WORKS), i didn't want him back anymore in my life. ♡

  • @mikebarnes1239
    @mikebarnes1239 4 роки тому +7

    My ex broke up with me 2 months ago. I had finally became okay without her (or so i thought), suddenly she started to message me often, which made it hard to break my attachment. We met up and she was treating me like a friend, so i said i needed time and space to clear my head and can not be your friend. Please take Rory's advice! Keep growing everyday. Use this time to work on yourself!

    • @ebhodaghemanfred7382
      @ebhodaghemanfred7382 4 роки тому

      I can recommend you to someone who was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems too 🙏🙏🙏

    • @ebhodaghemanfred7382
      @ebhodaghemanfred7382 4 роки тому

      +2348077751695.

  • @quan13ism
    @quan13ism 4 роки тому +60

    “Don’t do it goddammit”

  • @harriet.z
    @harriet.z 4 роки тому +34

    It’s been 2 months. I am getting better now. Your videos helped so much when everything blew up in my face. This is the fifth time I went to the gym this week. I am also interested in working on my portfolio for the first time in a while! Things really hurt less now. I am single, I am not looking for anyone, and I feel great. I was always in long term relationships being a clingy gf but also a mother for the guys at the same time. Right now I am my priority. Wow. I can get so much done...

  • @vinayyn1344
    @vinayyn1344 4 роки тому +51

    I'm in my early 20's When my ex blocked me 6 months ago I was devastated hurt depressed a week later I lost my sibling and a month later I lost my dad. I was devastated I hit rock bottom in everything I felt I lost everything and then I did try to text my ex and she blocked me again and tht was went i saw ur videos and I listened to each and every video of urs and now I feel better and I'm finding myself back stronger step by step in my life

    • @adamrais1234
      @adamrais1234 4 роки тому +7

      Hey man, I know it’s not what you want to hear, but go through it. These times of hardship will shape you into the man you are tomorrow. Strong, wise and understanding. These times will teach you the meaning of life , and let me tell you life is an adventure. You’ll get through it man, i know you will. We all have your back. You’re in good hands with this community.

    • @Rpamungkas-r3g
      @Rpamungkas-r3g 4 роки тому +4

      Stay strong bro, we can get through this difficult situation. God bless you.

    • @sgnixxelb
      @sgnixxelb 4 роки тому +4

      Sending my prayers brother

    • @destinysbrown8788
      @destinysbrown8788 4 роки тому +3

      I’m so sorry you had to get put through all of that just know things will get better in time I hope everything gets better for you they will stay strong

    • @iownage4youi
      @iownage4youi 3 роки тому

      update on your situation bro?

  • @SubFocusStudios
    @SubFocusStudios 4 роки тому +40

    It's actually hilarious, Rory explains it exactly how it turned out for me. 3 months later, indirect message and asked to go out. After the date, she ghosted for a week then messaged again, then ghosted, then messaged again. Mixed signals lol, just leaving her to confuse herself more.

  • @epicbehavior
    @epicbehavior 4 роки тому +17

    That’s why when they break up with you, put zero resistance.
    That’ll make no contact start working immediately.

  • @cathy40
    @cathy40 4 роки тому +5

    My ex the dumper was already with someone else before breaking up with me. He was with a stranger for months before he broke up with me! He ignored me while i was taking care of my dying mother for 6 months in the hosoital & nursing home.
    I was always there for him any time he needed me. I always ecouage him when he told me his dreams. I sacrifice for him. I did not suffocate him, nor was i ever demanding.
    Days after my mom died i found a picture of him & his new girlfriend on a public website.
    While i was going through hell, while he was happy with his new girlfriend. He didnt care about me. If he had sincerely cared for me, he wouldnt have been interested in some stranger.
    He didnt suffer at time!
    Not all dumpers feel pain. My ex felt no pain. He cocooned himself in a new relationship & was happy.

    • @cathy40
      @cathy40 4 роки тому

      Addendum:
      Found out my ex married "the stranger" 5 months ago. He barely knew her a year.
      Im sure he is putting her through the same crap he did to me for a decade.
      He was a coward....he was never there for me when times were tough (ex: 2 deaths in the family, he stayed away. No shoulder for me to cry on, i had to go through it all alone).
      He would also vanish for weeks, months & 1/2 a year. When he did come back he never wanted to talk about it. I now suspect he was seeing other women.
      Its crazy how the "love goggles" allowed me to constantly overlook the red flags & forgive him.
      Bottom line..... he never once made me a priority.
      If the person you are with never ever makes you a priority, say good bye, they will never truely appreciate you!
      Its not love. My ex didnt want to be a lone or lonely. He gave me bits & pieces of his time. He constantly promised para siempre & te amo. Never again will i fall for someone who can not show me that i am a priority! Do not settle!

  • @ianp6268
    @ianp6268 4 роки тому +21

    Rory your videos are getting me through one of the toughest experiences of my life, and I can’t thank you enough. My ex dumped me about 3 weeks ago, but we work together in close quarters and she’s gone out of her way to remain friendly with me. I’m terrified that being forced to remain in light contact will ruin any chance I could possibly have at letting her realize what she’s giving up before it seems too late, and I don’t quite know what to do.. I’ve done my best to remain friendly and drama free when at work, but it hurts me to my core to see her multiple times a week.

    • @vladradunyius5032
      @vladradunyius5032 4 роки тому +2

      Same situation, 4 Months & still holding :) just be polite and talk about business, i am not initiating anything

    • @jackeliot4497
      @jackeliot4497 4 роки тому +6

      Remember this is an emotional rollercoaster no one gets a smooth ride. There will be plenty of ups and downs through the next few months. Take the pain at face value and just accept you are grieving. Let it pass through you and you’ll start to feel better. My ex left me for wanting to “do things with other people” and I was destroyed by it. She dropped off all my clothes the next day and said she is gonna delete me off her social media. I suffered for a while but you have to realize that you are a gem. Take away the sex from other people and you’ll find other people your ex may see don’t have much to offer. Other People can be pretty shallow but you have depth to you and your ex can not deny this. Let them discover there is a reason why they spent the amount of time they did with you. When it comes to love You aren’t competing with anyone else, you are in a league of your own. You are apart of them. They spent years or months with YOU not anyone else. You have chemistry and memories with them. You are the prize. Don’t chase your ex and let them determine their value to you by them reaching out to be in your life. I’m no longer waiting for a text from my ex. I’m moving on and becoming a better version of myself. I’m becoming the person I always wanted to be since I was little. You have nothing anchoring you down anymore, you can become anything you want to be. Internalize that this is a process and you will get hurt but as long as you remember your worth isn’t what other tell you, but what you tell yourself and will be just fine.

    • @airickaw8791
      @airickaw8791 4 роки тому +2

      If you can get in better shape and have a new look, it will definitely help. If nothing else, it will help your mindset. Stop looking at it as a negative that you work with her. Look at it as you have all of these opportunities to show your growth. My ex no longer works with me, and I have no way of showing my growth, unless she checks my social media, so at least you have a way to show your growth. But focus on yourself right now and have the time of your life

  • @nadyzzara
    @nadyzzara 4 роки тому +18

    this is so true!! no contact is the best option. ive been in the dumper and the dumpee situation and none of them feels better than the other. breakups going to be painful eventually. i decided to focus on myself in both situation and my ex (most of them) came crawling back, and at that point of time i didnt feel like i want them anymore.

    • @troyesivan7069
      @troyesivan7069 4 роки тому +1

      Did u want ur ex (when u were the dumper) back?

    • @arvi8843
      @arvi8843 4 роки тому +1

      @@troyesivan7069 If the relationship was generally good, dumper would want their ex back. I still do, after 6 months of breakup even if I broke up with him due to not feeling secured and doubting the direction of the relationship due to feeling less of a priority in his life. I still love him just as much as I did before and I'm still healing myself.

    • @nadyzzara
      @nadyzzara 4 роки тому +5

      @@troyesivan7069 if he changed to a better person why not? because i loved him. Also i think when you're back with your ex its not 'getting back together' i rather call it a new relationship with the same person. its like you're taking up to the next level.

    • @michaelferguson1934
      @michaelferguson1934 Рік тому

      Did you as the dumper go through the stages of relief for 2_3 months then think about your ex.? My breakup 21st November 2022 I moved out after she said it's over the following 2 weeks I tried getting her back and when that didn't work I went no contact on 10th December after finding her on dating site. January 4 she deleted her dating account. I know she isn't with anyone new I think she couldn't find anyone to date. I'm not sure if leaving the dating site is her rethinking our relationship but I won't reach out I'll stay NC her 60th birthday is January 11th I won't reach out as I think my silence my absence on her 60th birthday will work in my favour

  • @riseandshine6193
    @riseandshine6193 2 роки тому +2

    If they come back great, they get to see the new version of you that they lost. If they don't come back cool, because if you worked on yourself, you have become the best version of yourself.

  • @christianpaeznegron
    @christianpaeznegron 4 роки тому +24

    Pretty much all you said happened during My break up and I managed to act accordingly thanks to your advice :)

  • @vannhelsin2434
    @vannhelsin2434 4 роки тому +49

    Im truly convinced my ex is a vampire 🧛‍♀️

    • @TheLoveChat
      @TheLoveChat  4 роки тому +23

      Username checks out

    • @donkndave7811
      @donkndave7811 4 роки тому +5

      It's called a Succubus. An emotional vampire that sucks the life out of people around them..my ex was Borderline personality disorder and she was that way. Never again.

    • @vannhelsin2434
      @vannhelsin2434 4 роки тому

      @@donkndave7811 I feel u

  • @Riffs88
    @Riffs88 2 роки тому +9

    I used to watch this video daily some times multiple times a day. It's been a year now since the break up. And I am so happy it ended. I can't believe I was so sad then 🤣. You have to do the work tho!!

  • @epitaph1985
    @epitaph1985 4 роки тому +4

    Hands down the best and realest relationship advice on UA-cam

  • @corbynpaurini9050
    @corbynpaurini9050 Рік тому +1

    this is genuinely a great video, so many times i caught myself in shock as you perfectly described my exact thoughts and actions. i think the biggest thing is the feeling of knowing i am not and won’t be the only person feeling this way, just knowing that others have had the exact same experience is a huge help

  • @snksneaky4870
    @snksneaky4870 4 роки тому +5

    It’s been about 2 weeks since Iv gone no contact, in fact I’ve removed myself completely from all socials. I’m going to be honest right now it sucks big time. I really do believe once someone is done numbing the situation by distracting themselves(my ex) it will start to sink it slowly, and then hit like a train. The person that I love, not the people who don’t really care about me who I’m clinging to, is now gone. Silence is very powerful, more powerful than anything you can say or do. What happens when your ex hits a low in life??? We all do right? Who is she going to be running too, the people at the party last night??? Or the person who she is vulnerable with! Use my difficult time as encouragement, you are not alone. Thanks for the vid Rory

  • @JaleDale
    @JaleDale 3 роки тому +4

    This channel deserves way more subs!!!

  • @kimberlyelainebruce3723
    @kimberlyelainebruce3723 3 роки тому +2

    You hit the nail on the head for me,"I get myself back"

  • @erikaeyasvergara6175
    @erikaeyasvergara6175 4 роки тому +5

    1 year after a break up and he still did not regret his decision. We share a child together but he left me for someone else. He did this multiple times with his exes so i guess he's so used to the feeling of not caring and being responsible enough. he told me he will never ask for our son's pictures or videos nor will communicate with me ever again. I am doing the right thing for myself focusing on my son, however i still keep thinking about him everyday it sucks that i wasnt fully healed

  • @amiamii423
    @amiamii423 4 роки тому +20

    glad im not the only one who agrees that brad browning is a load of bs
    i listen to you and coach lee

  • @kalenna6785
    @kalenna6785 4 роки тому +4

    If he left because he doesn't want me, I respect that. But if someone would leave and still keep an eye, just means they are unworthy and they could not find any better. I don't want that, the grass is greener on the other side for me.I invite him to leave so that he can be free forever.

  • @Anxietyfuelledprincess
    @Anxietyfuelledprincess 3 роки тому +7

    I ended up going through my old texts with my ex and never realized just how toxic and insane I was until now, I’m not surprised that my ex was fine with breaking up with me when I brought it up sigh

    • @Miswhitness0520
      @Miswhitness0520 Рік тому

      LOL same I feel like he doesn’t even know who I am. Who I was at the time of breaking up was not even someone I recognize now. I am so strong, authentic, and cool now 😎

  • @ShannonThor.
    @ShannonThor. 3 роки тому +4

    10 months later still cry. Thank you so much for this video

    • @user-id1qb1vm2s
      @user-id1qb1vm2s 3 місяці тому

      Did he find u?

    • @ShannonThor.
      @ShannonThor. 3 місяці тому

      @@user-id1qb1vm2s no 4 years later still hasn't reached out!! No contact this whole time. Dont even see our mutual friends

  • @manuh.3546
    @manuh.3546 3 роки тому +3

    One year later the message came out of the blue. But I wasn't that happy and excited as I thought I would be when I went NC.

  • @margaretc5679
    @margaretc5679 4 роки тому +16

    But Rory said...
    "Don't do it, goddamit!"
    🤣

  • @dorky887
    @dorky887 3 роки тому +2

    Unless they are in a rebound relationship than they aren't feeling that much pain nor are they thinking about your pain and hurt. The rebound can keep them.

  • @soulsearchin2093
    @soulsearchin2093 4 роки тому +2

    This was one of the most honest videos I have seen

  • @junimarifam
    @junimarifam 4 роки тому +1

    Hey Rory. Great video as always. I am in the same boat as a dumpee. My wife of 16 years and I (have two kids together) recently separated and moved into our own separate apartments two weeks ago. Still very early. The first week I stayed over her apt twice, had dinner at her place twice and then she stayed over my place once. Then I decided to go no contact the fifth day being separated. Since then, I let her initiate ALL of the contact and I do not contact her at all. I also do not ignore her if she does contact. Not even about the kids. I see her a few days a week but that is because she drops off the kids so that she can go to work in the evening and then pucks them up. But about 2 minutes total. Since then, she contacts me about the kids, she has wondered if I ate one evening, she has wondered if I got home safe one day, thanks me for hanging out with them one day, communicates troubles with her apartment, says good night, tries to kiss me, etc. any thoughts or any other videos that would help in my situation?!?!

  • @s.r.4029
    @s.r.4029 4 роки тому +2

    M:y dumper told me recently it was brutal for her as well. But she is staying the course. I'm still having a hard time processing it. It felt so real at the time. You just have to be very careful about who you let into your heart.

  • @brianandrade9587
    @brianandrade9587 4 роки тому +9

    This video really hit home for me. Thank you Rory.

  • @georginaburrows
    @georginaburrows 4 роки тому +5

    Youre too good Rory. I got out of a manipulative relationship in May. He tried to string me along while he had fun with lots of other women (and sometimes men). thanks to your and DG’s videos i was able to stay strong and not reach out even though I was crying all the time, delaying my exams, drinking, etc. And like the asshole he is, he dated my coworker straight away but it’s been 6 months since and i now see him looking at my instagram stories and social media. I’m doing great and I’m much more confident than ever before. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤘🏻

  • @seanrooney170
    @seanrooney170 4 роки тому +5

    It hurts a lot more when you know your ex LOVED the bones off you and they suddenly fall of the face of the earth and we are left in a world that feels completely empty. I've been in no contact for 2 months she told me after some space she would contact me to be friends but of course I'm going to tell her that I want a relationship and if she feels the same she knows where I am

  • @Skoben2000
    @Skoben2000 4 роки тому +2

    I can't help but wonder in my situation, who was the REAL dumper. They were so disrespectful, no contribution to the relationship, I was the only one investing into the relationship. I told them I was unhappy with how the relationship was going and gave my reasons. It didn't stop. I finally said, "I'm outta here"! I don't feel any of this and the only regret and anger towards myself for actually allowing myself to tolerate it for almost 2 months. I feel they were the true dumper by disrespecting me and pushing me away and contributing nothing. I came here hoping to hear that this is what they are experiencing. A friend told me, they are now social media stalking after three and a half weeks of No Contact. i just want them to feel the pain and anger I felt when we were in the relationship.

  • @Cjslvdr
    @Cjslvdr Рік тому

    I broke up with him because it was toxic (I was awful with anxiety and needed him emotionally but mostly what ye does is he calls me sensitive and mentally ill and feels like he doesn’t care about me as much), but lonely me missed him thinking that loving him more could actually make the relationship better. I reached out and believed it was actually getting better. It was a good start, we both apologized and just worked it out, until my stress from work kicks in, I needed to be vulnerable, I needed him to be there with me just to listen even virtually since we are in LDR. I was starting to cry from existential crisis and he’s not even reading my messages, when he did he only told me that there was really something wrong with me, I had to set aside my anxieties just to talk to him by message on how to meet him half way and what I needed to do to understand where he is coming from. I communicated my feelings as well and he told me that I never change. Then blocked me. I was dumped I guess. I blocked him too

  • @wirantinurardiani9046
    @wirantinurardiani9046 4 роки тому +5

    Rory!
    This is another relieving speech you gave me.
    I've been thinking that he lives his life happily ever after since he dumped me.. Now, knowing that he also suffers (AMEN!).. I'm a bit ...relieved. yea, as*hole, you need to suffer too!
    Thanks Rory! Love ya, from Indonesia. ❤

  • @billielith
    @billielith 4 роки тому +2

    Good one. This is not really a video, more like a podcast, but it's clear, well explained and well done. When we are on either side of this situation, dumper or dumpee, emotional pain doesn't let us see our own side of things clearly, and it makes it a bit impossible to have any clear perception of the opposite point of view. This video puts the entire situation in perspective. Precious information! Thanks for sharing.

  • @Mikeh2077
    @Mikeh2077 4 роки тому +3

    Well, my most recent relationship ended two months ago, she said she was better off single. (Even though I know she’s with someone else) Man, I felt crushed. It was short-term, but I actually cared for that girl. I’ve started working on myself. I’ve lost a good amount of weight, started therapy, and I’ve deleted all Social Media. Flirted with her off and on at work, but I’m stopping that. It always gets my hopes up and it sets me back. She’s gone and that’s that.

  • @AlexandraRuizMartinez30
    @AlexandraRuizMartinez30 4 роки тому +62

    3 months of NC, he broke up with me several times and he always came back with and I love you, not this time, I tried my best to make it work, but he wasn’t sure about me again.

    • @TheLoveChat
      @TheLoveChat  4 роки тому +22

      You are the prize!

    • @AlexandraRuizMartinez30
      @AlexandraRuizMartinez30 4 роки тому +3

      The Love Chat 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

    • @vannhelsin2434
      @vannhelsin2434 4 роки тому +5

      Y would anyone want 2 brake up w u ,ur gorgeous

    • @miamiking2005
      @miamiking2005 4 роки тому +7

      Alex, I tried no contact in hope to get her back and i was successful first time and the second break up I tried no contact again and what happened is every time they contact you they take you down and bring you back to the first day of the break up to the same major pain.. thats why is better to walk away and never look back because hope is your biggest enemy. Cutting all contact is peace of mind trust me. And sure you ll have your up and down days but it’s better than to leave with false hope.
      Look, most of the people here suffering and they try the best to get their exes back while their exes don’t care or maybe they are already moved on or they are flirting with others while the other side are suffering every single minute.
      Not taking the right decision will destroy our life our health our brain... we really need to be strong.

    • @windmill676
      @windmill676 4 роки тому

      Alex Ruiz is it true when men say No chance, no chance at all?

  • @btstakescareofmewhenimsick4892
    @btstakescareofmewhenimsick4892 2 роки тому +1

    My ex dumped me 4 days after he told me how happy he is in our relationship, cuz he doesnt feel trapped and how amazing of a girlfriend i am

  • @kaelaxfoss
    @kaelaxfoss 4 роки тому +5

    Love your bluntness

  • @evelyngarcia9678
    @evelyngarcia9678 3 роки тому +1

    I like how you talked better than dating coaches u mentioned in this video.🙃

  • @hiswifey9794iloveu
    @hiswifey9794iloveu 4 роки тому +5

    Rory I just wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart I found your channel 5 months ago fresh from my ex breaking off our engagement we had been together for almost 4 years living together for all those years. I was lost in pain & hurting. Now it’s gotten better went no contact as you suggested and after 4 months he reached out to me something I swore never would happen. I’ve been focusing on myself & taking things day by day I don’t know what the future holds but hey we can only go up from here right? Thanks Rory!

  • @daisysdaily
    @daisysdaily 4 роки тому

    I haven’t been able to stop crying for a week now. My fiancé left me and it’s my fault. I was/am in a very bad mental state. Lost my father figure to COVID and not being able to be there for him at the moment he passed riddled me with guilt. l also lost my business and everything I’ve worked to build in last 9yrs. Left financially dependent on him was crushing my ego. He tried to plan a trip for us because he’s been stressed at work and instead of being a supportive partner for him I was bitching that I didn’t feel he was being emotionally supportive. Fight got ugly. Now he wants me out the house with no job or money. He doesn’t want to talk to me and told me he wants me to suffer. I can’t sleep, eat and feel like disintegrating. No matter how much a person tells you they love you, never put yourself in a situation you’re dependent on them. Never underestimate how a person that loved you could ever be so hateful.

    • @michellereeves9316
      @michellereeves9316 4 роки тому

      You don’t have to worry yourself, I can recommend you to man who helped me restore my ex back, he offers the best solution in fixing broken relationships, you can text me via whtsap messenger on +1 (204) 819-7613🇨🇦🇨🇦♣️♣️ for more info on how the man works♣️♣️♣️♐️♐️💪🏼📞

  • @bluevenom8880
    @bluevenom8880 3 роки тому +1

    yeah my ex had a problem with my behavior of being too needy because she wanted to be in a situationship forever.. wanted to just "see what happens".. sometimes listening to the things your ex says doesn't make a difference and it doesn't matter what you do, they are the one with the problem. sometimes you just don't want the same things.

  • @cherrybacon5154
    @cherrybacon5154 4 роки тому +8

    I ended a relationship with my now Ex not too long ago because I needed to start thinking of myself as the relationship wasn't good for me. It feels just as painful as if he'd done it to me. He tries to contact me but I ignore his attempts. I still love him and want him, but right now I love myself more. 🍒

  • @creedman4400
    @creedman4400 4 роки тому +4

    Rory thank you for all the advice you give. Pleaseeee please do a video on when you guys have a child together. I try to take all of this advice in but having a child together makes things so much more difficult to go about this

  • @kimberlybarnett835
    @kimberlybarnett835 4 роки тому +1

    U are definitely on point with this information. I am the dumpee.
    We are at the point where I stopped contacting and being there for him. We broke up in March is year. He deals with depression anxiety.
    Now he contacts me weekly, I don’t answer. He texted me “Happy Thanksgiving.” I didn’t respond. Don’t know what he wants but I won’t allow him in my spirit anymore.

  • @JackieisOk
    @JackieisOk 4 роки тому +86

    Oh my ex. Yeah she existed. Can’t really remember😅

    • @khawajamazhar9188
      @khawajamazhar9188 4 роки тому

      Are you a dumper or dumpee?

    • @JackieisOk
      @JackieisOk 4 роки тому +6

      khawaja Mazhar dumpee :D

    • @Wifeyytalks
      @Wifeyytalks 4 роки тому

      @@JackieisOk did she reach out?

    • @JackieisOk
      @JackieisOk 4 роки тому +3

      Ankita Joshi yep. It’s already 1.5 year ago. She contacted me 2 weeks ago. Saying that she wants me back. No contact works! Although I do not want her back anymore

    • @Wifeyytalks
      @Wifeyytalks 4 роки тому

      @@JackieisOk mine reaches out every now and then with how r u, commenting on my story one day uploaded in his story too how amazing is this girl after a month of breakup. We were together for 2.5 yrs and he was on dating apps. Said can't commit anymore. Hasn't asked yet to be back together.

  • @ronaila2147
    @ronaila2147 3 роки тому

    You walked away, because you know you can't stay. Hits me hard.😪

  • @shubhankargaur6075
    @shubhankargaur6075 4 роки тому +5

    Thanks man..it was really helpful.Had a heavy heart.i wish you all the success for your channel.👍

  • @Altair122122332345
    @Altair122122332345 3 роки тому +5

    I feel like this doesn't happen if they're in a rebound or they've already found someone else

  • @4ulight
    @4ulight 4 роки тому +5

    Thank you Rory! This is definitely one of my favorite videos you made. Very educational!

  • @sinchanbasak25
    @sinchanbasak25 4 роки тому +12

    ex gf of 5 years... very close relationship... so many memories... its been 1 month of no contact... hope i don't give up

    • @1901lulu
      @1901lulu 4 роки тому

      Riju what’s your update?

    • @sinchanbasak25
      @sinchanbasak25 4 роки тому +10

      @@1901lulu she contacted me after 3 months.. they all come back.. that is true

    • @Dskizy
      @Dskizy 4 роки тому

      Riju She wanted you back I’m assuming?

    • @sinchanbasak25
      @sinchanbasak25 4 роки тому +5

      she wanted me back but couldn't end her ongoing relationship... she told me she doesn't love him and wanted to come back... In the end she failed to leave him. So i left her this time. Maybe this is where our story ends. Thank you guys.

    • @m.a6899
      @m.a6899 4 роки тому +2

      Riju good for you man. The thing about being the dumper is, the next person, there is an expectation on them. They have to do better than you. Otherwise, why did she break up woth you? Someone as good as you wouldn’t be good enough either she doesn’t have the memories or the connection with that new guy. It’s like getting rid of your old iphone 7 to get a new iphone 7. Somehow the new phone feels old and shitty despite being brand new. that guy probably didn’t meet those expectations and she came running back. If she finds the balls to end it with that guy, she will run back to you. Do yourself a favor tho, don’t be there when she comes running back.

  • @ahday5963
    @ahday5963 4 роки тому +4

    Helllllooo! This time I’m the first one haha thank you Rory! Hit like and listen hahah

  • @rayyyyyyy822
    @rayyyyyyy822 4 роки тому +3

    Thank you, Rory. This video is definitely getting a thumbs up from me

  • @Extravaganttastee
    @Extravaganttastee 4 роки тому +3

    All your videos are so on point! I cant believe how useful this info is. Thank you SO MUCH! I will continue to support all of you content.

  • @hrithik4515
    @hrithik4515 3 роки тому +2

    The reason for my breakup was, I wasn’t pedestalising her for a week she was doing all the work and she got frustrated as she didn’t recieved any reciprocation.

  • @melodyluich7042
    @melodyluich7042 4 роки тому +5

    I appreciate this video and the fact that it was fifteen minutes. Thank you, Rory❤️

  • @johndaily4263
    @johndaily4263 4 роки тому +9

    My ex broke up with me around 6 months ago, strict no contact for 4 1/2 months. I made her my world that’s why she broke up with me. I started traveling, working on myself and stayed with no contact. Still she didn‘t reach out yet. I still think about her but I‘m doing good.

  • @patricksachs3655
    @patricksachs3655 4 роки тому +2

    When your girl asks to "take a break" or "she´s not sure about the relationship" (which is just a diishonest way of breaking up) be polite say goodbye and then cut her off immediately and never look back. Delete ( but don´t block) her off of everything, including your phone contacts. That generally includes her family as well unless you´ve genuinely developed a relationship with them. Then she will immediately know you are gone. Cutting through the BS, if she really wanted to be with you, she wouldn´t have left. That self-conflicted/I´m so hurt nonsense is just that. It´s always better for the man to find a woman who actually wants to be with him, not one who needs convincing.

  • @andrewcrawford542
    @andrewcrawford542 3 роки тому +4

    Whats strange is that I've felt alot of what Rory has talked about, me being the dumper, and its just been a month. I honestly don't know what to think about that

  • @thoibisana3299
    @thoibisana3299 2 роки тому

    Mind blowing explanations with beautiful examples... Specially the last line hit the hardest and the best... Thanks dear🙏🤗

  • @isaacs6159
    @isaacs6159 3 роки тому

    So much truth. I found Rory being dumped, but I'm now feeling the dumper experience. I absolutely know I can't be with my 6yrs ex, but I am feeling some serious remorse for my actions and inactions in the 6yrs. FAB is very real, she was horrid to me sometimes (drinking) and even though I know her actions, I'm totally giving her the benefit of the doubt. I want her forgiveness, and absolutely forgive all her actions. I don't feel like I've wasted time, I 100% cherish what we had. And for clarity's sake, I left her almost a year ago.

  • @thatgeorgeguy2057
    @thatgeorgeguy2057 4 роки тому +7

    Thank you so much Rory! You've helped me clean up my mind when it was in the slumps :) Keep up the amazing work!

  • @neeksss3573
    @neeksss3573 3 роки тому +1

    i dumped my ex because i didn’t feel important to him. i’ve been dumped before and have been the dumper and honestly being the dumper is worse.... u wanna be with them so bad but you know it won’t work and you’re left feeling guilty💔

    • @dennisray8904
      @dennisray8904 2 роки тому

      I'm sorry for your experience being the dumper... I took her for granted by not opening up LDR .. I made many mistakes 49 year old man widower hard to open up but in no way was I prepared for how I feel since she walked away.. I pray you are doing well 🙏 I miss her every day 💔 but only God can fix this for me

  • @alexgomez549
    @alexgomez549 4 роки тому +8

    Rory!!!! How are you my friend? Keep up the good work sir.

  • @tshegofatsomokonoto4928
    @tshegofatsomokonoto4928 4 роки тому

    i got dumped for being too sweet,being too hospitable like cooking and making lunch boxes,wanting a baby in 2 years,contacting the person during the day like morning and checking how hes doing,i got off the pill so hes anxious we might get a pregnancy scare again...i was caring more than most toxic people in his life,he used my honesty against me...i was 100% with this person,he was always hot and cold and am very expressive...i just wanted communication and thats not being needy,hopefully i will meet a deserving man in the future...i wont accept the man child in my life no more i wont take him back,i deserve better...

  • @wilted_rose510
    @wilted_rose510 3 роки тому +2

    I understand what you mean when you tell the dumpee to go no contact but like you said, if the car's engine blew up (dumper left you) then why not GO BACK and try to repair the issue. Yes, the no contact method makes the dumper feel remorseful and puts power back into the dumpees hands, but it also gets them to realize that the dumpee not trying really doesn't care to try and reconcile. that impression alone makes the real love seem like it was just a bubble. my advice is, if the dumper was WRONG, go no contact because you didnt deserve it. but if the dumper was RIGHT in letting you go because you hurt them, i say try to reach out and work things out. loving someone means putting your pride aside and showing you will fight for them, dont suffocate them, but do let them know that you value them and will improve yourself with another chance.

    • @TheLoveChat
      @TheLoveChat  3 роки тому

      That ignores the wishes of the other person.

    • @user-ud8mt6fj1m
      @user-ud8mt6fj1m 3 роки тому

      I’m the dumpee and I hurt my ex. I sent a last long text when we broke up and he never replied. I never called or texted because i don’t want someone who doesn’t wanna reconcile or work on things but just chooses to walk away. It’s been over 5 weeks now.

  • @cadyray9261
    @cadyray9261 4 роки тому +14

    Once it is done means it is done. I will make it hard for them not only to come back but I will also make it impossible for them to return. Why? It is because life is too short to waste on the wrong person for the second time 😀😂

    • @manuh.3546
      @manuh.3546 3 роки тому +2

      Don't make anything hard. Only you will suffer from resentment. Send them love and new love will come into your life.

  • @dacracking5768
    @dacracking5768 4 роки тому +5

    Fuck, i feel bad for her. I know what i did wrong and am honestly trying to work on myself. I really just want her back.

  • @keshafriday8853
    @keshafriday8853 4 роки тому +17

    We broke up after 10 years and he move around the corner from me with makes this so hard

    • @TheLoveChat
      @TheLoveChat  4 роки тому +7

      Stay strong, Kesha! The community is here for you!