How To Get Revenge On The Narcissist
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- Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
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Go no contact. You will begin to heal and that will drive them crazy. You must clear out the poisonous weeds if you want something good to grow.
😊😊
@R.E.Warrior24 Having had been there too, i understand. I tried the gray rock technique and failed at it also Eventually giving into dumb desires and falling back into their traps repeating the same old crap. Life will continue giving us the same lessons until we learn from them. Real love doesn’t punish what it loves. Pick your self back up and allow yourself time to heal and I assure you life will improve relatively quickly without them in it. And again them losing control over you will drive them crazy. It’s funny, Mine went from stonewalling to stalking.
It sucked at first for me but I’m now about 3 years of no contact and rarely am I brought into a negative state. Back when the narc was in my life, it was all the time. Any good time was guaranteed to come with a bad time. Screw that dysfunctional ride, I’d rather die alone than subject myself to that crap again.
I have to block my son on occasion and it breaks my heart.
Of course he knows that he can get agold of me if he ever needs to. He can call my husband if its important and Ill be there in a heartbeat. 😢😢😢
But i have found that I do have to do this for my own mental health and to keep me from losing my temper on him.
He loves to manipukate and make me feel guilty if we dont fund every little thing he comes to us with.
He already lives in a free house with no rent, doesnt pay utilities, doesnt pay for his cell ohone or even his groceries most of the time.
Hes 23. Hes always starting jobs but they never last long... and then when payday comes, something ALWAYS goes wrong with his paycheck.
I feel so sad because i couldnt afford to get the dirtier lawyer that was BFF with the County Judge and so the judge always ruled in his Bio Dads favor - despite whatever proof i had of abuse and neglect and insane treatment...
(Bio Dad is a Narcissist too... 😢)
So i did have him half or less than half of his life until he was 10...
But his Dad took him completely after that. And I didnt get him back untol my son grew bigger andbtaller than his Dad at 17 and graduated HS early.
Weve dealt with drug and alcohol issues and some legal issues. Hopefully hes past all that now.
But he still hasnt grown up enough to learn to take care of himself financially like a responsible adult.
And sometimes, the things he says to me, cut me down to the bone. 😢 He breaks my heart. But Ive had to learn to block him.
And its awful.
But hes my son and i could never cut him out of my life completely. 😢😢😢
How would you feel if someone went “no contact” with you? The people who scream narcissist the loudest are narcissists themselves
@@msalisond are you familiar with “stonewalling”?
The best revenge is knowing who they are. Don't take anything personal, ignore & be happy.
Biggest mistake I've seen is chasing closure. Your closure is going no contact for good🔥
"Not even a goodbye...??"
They fucking love hearing that. They reaaally get off on that. Don't give them that, it just fuels them with your misery. Don't expect them to ever give you that compassion and relief, it is not there, and that is but one of the reasons why you should definitely leave.
Damn
-so true
Ur rite
The only thing that needs closure with a narcissist is your legs 😂
Precisely@@namachem1961
It's tough as hell when you genuinely love them when they are on their good behavior but the cycle never ends
I agree. Ignoring them and finding your peace and happiness is the best revenge.
Ignore and remove all reliance on them (emotionally, financially, etc.). In my eyes, they are already dead. It’s the only way with certain toxic parents who taught you learned helplessness.
Now THAT is Excellent advice!
But kids,how possible
Same can be said of Toxic Adult children who will not stop Blaming you for Their Life Choices?
@@Freetothink Willow F's Mommy (or whomever) should definitely learn how to write a relative statement in reply to the lead post. Unless you're a stalker who got her meow meow feels hurt by a post on some other topic, and now Hiding behind a little girls page.
@@Freetothink You MUST know why your "toxic kids" are mad at you. They HAD to have told you. Either they told you and you ignored it, dismissed it "that never really happened, it wasn't that bad", then you need to accept the fact that YOU are the toxic person, and need therapy ASAP.
This is absolutely correct. After 10 years with a Narcissist I took all of these steps. Now I understand Narcism and I know that I will never allow this type of person in my life again.
I realised that being authentic and kind regardless of their behaviour irritated the shit out of them.
They want control, by making you behave out of control and out of character.
They also want to be able to be authentic and kind, but know they can’t, and seeing you be what they can never be is the best revenge.
Stay you, stay in ❤
Omg u are right. When i response him back in a kind way. He said please dont act innocent. Lol
Living well is the best revenge
Attention is like currency to these people, would you keep giving money to a drug addict? It's great to see these people's reactions when you use the "gray rock" technique. Thanks Richard! I always learn from you.
Exactly block unplug go Silent 🤫🤫🤫🤫
Absolutely!
@@lovewhitey2027 I've always liked "they just dropped off the face of the earth."
That's what i've been doing with the narcissist in my life. Grey-rocking and withdrawing my energy per Dr. Ramani.
@@ReinDeMaMonde May I ask what’s the Grey rocking is?
Great advice "they don't feel like you" Once you realise this you are going on the right path.
Once I realized the man I was dating treated me the way he did was because he indeed was a narcissist. I chose to walk away. He continued to call and text. The only way was to remove him from my life. Best decision ever!
Run don’t walk away . They never exsisted
I agree with another commenter that all attention supplies them. It’s in our own interests to not waste our beautiful time chasing misery. Very few people are capable of the cold steel it takes to injure a malignant narcissist. But sorry Richard, it’s great for those of us that learned the dirtiest techniques from narcissists themselves.
what did you learn, if you can't beat them join them?
I’d rather cut ties and not waste my precious time and energy on a person who only cares about themself and wants to remain the same
I dealt with a malignant narcissist it got very nasty and scary, luckily I had good support around me and it was all ok in the end. The smear campaign is still ongoing but I don’t care I’m free away from this evil person.
@@markthornemarmaduke Lie detector tests proved that they are the liers and manipulators...you pass it around, other's see who was the victim and who played GAMES....lol...I walk with my head up higher because I survived SEPSIS, pancreatitis and 2 back surgeries with no control of a grown Adult and the family who lied from the beginning...what happens in the dark will come out to the light no one can mock Jeh God..
@@RitaG4404 Amen..they are MENTAL
I'm indifferent now and moving on ♥️♥️
Thank you after 20 years of Narcs. Abuse relationship and a child he’s still act like single he’s randomly invited us for a dinner I’ll text him back my response was “ sorry we’re out of town” . I’ll know behind the wall my tears it’s like a dry river , time to love myself and focus on humanitarian Aid traveling across the globe !
Revenge belongs to the Lord He does it best Put it in his hands BTW Therapy helps
Lol agree...The Lord's justice is better than anything I can dish out! 👊
❤❤
I’ll still send Totts and Pears
Yep, get on with detaching and healing and never make them the focus of your attention again.
Yep. Move on & live your best life.
Thank you Richard. Really needed that. I'm surrounded by narcissist. All the people I've loved and trusted and for whom I've spent my life. My husband, my sister, my brothers,my friends. People who I loved. I'm breaking away from all. Hoping to live with my children alone.
Essentially living well is the best revenge.
True, he loves it when I'm so sad and going against my soul.
Be happy and move on is the best way.. never look back or entertain these snakes again..
Go no contact. Do not take their calls. Do not text back. Leave them and do not go back. Works for me! 😊🤙
You move on but their wicked lies and gossip follows you everywhere. Yet, you rise.
Thank you he left and ghosted me after he found out that I knew about him and his gaslighting manipulation lies, loudness, ignorance, attitude, irritability, and unhappiness. Thank you.
Yes, I did my own form of “hoover”. I sucked the air out of it, by going no contact, whether they were in the next town or living directly beneath me. And, yes, they do try to pierce that, even if they have to use other people, witting or not, to do so. At minimum, they’re out to show you that, they’re in your life, family or not, and that there’s no such things as boundaries, because THEY don’t like them and YOU shouldn’t have that choice.
Don't let them rent space in your head! Keep yourself busy doing everything you forgot you loved doing after they nearly sucked the life and soul out of you!
They are so vampiric, aren't they?? I'm so much happier since I got away. 😊
@roxyabrooks864 Parasitic!
Forgive them and move on. Do not contact!
Love Yourself! They hate that!
Thank you for your time and thoughts Richard.
You’re right about not faking it, feel the change for real !
Exactly. They can't be allowed to speak either or they'll worm their way back in. Rely on your friends to stay strong
Bever grieve a relationship like this one .
But do heal and move forward in life.
They are wired to scanning other people's emotions, human detectors, so not trying to fake it is the key
Facts 🤫💪💯 I have a brother that I did this to and I'm very happy 💯💪
Living well is the best revenge. I prefer the gray rock method. No contact.
Walk away into sunshine with a smile on your face. Narcissist 😮
Recovery, the greatest revenge!
Truer words have never been said.
I'm a front liner advocating for DV victims, also exposing the narc to the courts with solid proof and using my experience of systemic failure to make changes to help the people, especially children, that are involved and give them skills and supports to move on with life.❤
But he doesn't know the new police policy in our city would never have happened if he didn't give me the proof to back what I've been saying for 5 years. Be an observer and you'll see
I can vouch for this, the moment I truly became a grey rock I started to get my life back, and I share a child with him so it is extremely difficult to not react but I am committed to it
Live a nice, happy, quiet, productive and successful life without them. Shows that what they think, do and say has no affect on you. WALK AWAY and NEVER look back. We have never been happier ... ❤️🙏❤️
I went through this and you know what. I did exactly what you’re suggesting. Why? It’s because I am better than that. Who would want to become like the person you reject. I grieved and in time I did not care whatsoever. However know I believe in the Kord and I know he helped me through this.
Gods bless and thank you.
Learn to heal 1st . Dont rush to get revenge . U hv time . Heal 1st .
taking revenge on the narcissist makes you a narcissist. moving on with your life isn't "revenge" it's you moving on.
your success is to come out completely
your joy and independence is what hurts him contact zero
This is exactly my plan. Thanks for the validation.
Heal and be totally happy!🏃♀️
Omg, what you are saying is so true. I’m doing the things you mentioned right now and it really works
I can’t figure out if I’m the narcissist or they are. I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching which is what lead me to this channel. And I do have this intuitive cognitive empathy you speak of so now I’m sitting here trying to figure out if I’m a narcissist. My family is really toxic but I’m also a member of my family, so I theoretically could be the problem. No one seems to like me much. Right now they are not talking to me (again) because I confronted one of them about something they did that upset me, so now they’re all mad. I worked really hard on not being mean and being calm. I know I can be abrasive. I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out if I’m the problem and all of your videos kind of make me think I’m a narcissist. So now I’m trying to figure out where to go from there. Thank you for the content.
I almost didn't listen to this, but I always love your information. This is my kind of revenge just living a good life thank you so much.!
The moment I didnt acre anymore and showed by just no emotions or reactions, that is when he actually left me alone. I wish i knew this sooner.
I was with my ex for 31 years. I left FINALLY & glad I did, but I wentthroughso much trauma. I think that I need therapy from PTSD.
It is the truth, it worked out for me exactly like this.
After separating from my cheating husband, I was terrified because he’d always done the paperwork and didn’t want to give me a penny of our shared money/possessions of almost 20 years. He seemed to have an advantage over me because he kept all the documents when I moved out. Well, I needn’t have worried so much.. Time hasn’t been kind to him and though he changed his lawyers , mine was amazing at court. I got my fair share and I‘m finally free of this burden. Focus on yourself instead of the narcissist ❤
I like that look in your eyes. Tells alot.
This is so true, living my best life and the ogre is fuming
Harder when is family and never saw it before
I feel like if you're looking for revenge, you've already destroyed what made you want to become better
And don’t fall for their “please rescue me” calls/emails/texts. Even if they are truly going through rough time, it is NOT your responsibility and it is OK to say no. They can always call 911 if it’s that bad of an emergency. It’s time for you to show up for yourself, heal and love yourself, help yourself out. ❤
Thank you for this information, just a little bit too late. But I can still learn from this and be attentive to my own needs from this day forward. Absolutely no contact for almost a year.
Thank you, so much for this! This came at the right time for me. ❤
Totally agree. I'm working on it!
They should stop existing for you, like they dont matter.
Amazing this came up.
God is so good.
I literally just spent last couple hours coming up with this exact plan almost verbatim.
Seeing this for rest would have saved me some time lol
You’re Exactly right 100%! I did it all done ✅ and it works I got me back now and love me and nurture me after I went NO contact with all the Narcs the ex narc and his narc family and my narc family. It’s just me now and my kids n grand kids and friends. Every single encounter with those narcs was trouble and trap setting. Horrific, eg when we sold our house the ex and me the two narc sisters called the police to say I’m mad so I wouldn’t get my share of the sale that’s how jealous they were etc etc very heavy legal traps. They will never see me again that’s the price they can now pay for all the abuse they gave me.
Good shit, seems like the most logical explanation here, thanks.
🤔 I concur totally ‼️ this is indeed foolproof 😉👍
My 1st husband was punching holes in the wall on our 3rd day after marrying. I was in a lawyers office by the 5th day. The lawyer told me to come back in 5 months if I felt the same. Exactly 5 months to the day I returned, filing for legal separation, and divorce while moving out. That very same week, my Doctor told me it was now or never if I wanted children. I went back to an old flame and asked him to father a child. He agreed if I agreed to marry him as he had always loved me. It took me several months on hormones to get pregnant. I lost four before finally getting one premature. My Ex refused to divorce me until it looked like I could carry to viability, and I told him I would be suing for child support. That was over 33 years ago, and he is still trying to get me back. The best revenge is to live life well.
What I love about this guy is he tells the truth about them .MOst of them are psychic .Pyschic skılls that how they could play mind games.
I've managed to get face to face contact down to once a fortnight!! For others dealing with being verbally and or physically abused at drop offs and pick ups, if you can get the narc ex to pick the kids up from school or arrange for someone else to do drop offs or pick ups.
It removes the chance of more conflict or abuse, especially infront of the children.
It’s difficult because she’s the mother of 2 of my granddaughters and now because I’ve escaped and told her I didn’t want to be around her anymore I’ve lost access to the children as I’m still seen as enemy number 1!
Excellent advice
Really hard when it’s your mom and then your only sibling is one of moms enablers.
That’s what I did, took my attention off the narc and moved on with my life with the help of God because it was not easy. If someone doesn’t appreciate your presence then give them the gift of your absence. It’s very important we do the inner work so we don’t fall for the same person in a different body. Our brains tends to gravitate towards what is familiar to us. Narcs feed off of our attention/ emotion, all they care about is supply. If they quickly move on, it means absolutely nothing. That person is simply another victim because they will put them through the same thing, no matter how it may look on the outside but none of that is our concern. The best revenge is living well. Once you move on, do not look back because these people never change.
Right ON 👍 Yes Sir
that’s golden thankyou
When KARMA hits - it hits HARD. Narcs are INSANE.
Yeah it takes time though but yes!
Spot on ..the reactions
Superior advice ❤
If you give them the impression that they "aren't qualified for you", they will lose their mind 😅
I chose to walk away no communication and focus on me. Sad when it's my own parents.
I appreciate your advice
Good advise .
Thanks will do that
It's not hard to live a higher quality of life than a narcissist if you fix your issues. And if you succeed, they fail.
They are a just a side quest. Get back on track to the main game.
The worst thing to a narc is to take all attention away from them. I flat out told one that was accusing me of “driving by and harassing him” that I intentionally avoid the street he lives on because he literally means nothing at all to me and I avoid driving on his street to make sure he never forgets how insignificant he is to me. Watching him wilt was pretty enjoyable to watch 😂 worthless pile of dog crap is what he is!
They hate to change. Try to make them change. Make them go to counseling. They hate to agree they are wrong. Then move on. They need to know they suck.
If you're still with a narcissist, grey rock and show zero emotions towards them. Don't be responsive with the baiting. Celebrate when they're no in the proximity. Plan your escape or separation secretly.
If they're no longer in your life, celebrate every moment possible.
I did go to therapy, they finally told me that it's him, not you.
Brilliant!
If you want revenge, that's an unhealthy character issue you need to correct.
"Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die"
Thank you
Thank you ❤
Best revenge is book a 2 week holiday and tell them the day before you go but don't give to many details to them ....they will feel they are losing you then distance your self when you get back
My ex husband is a narcissist. He's still trying to hurt me because I left and focused on working on healing my daughter who was collateral damage in our toxic nonsense, improving myself and my career. Best advice is to keep your side of the street clean. Don't lie, don't say things to hurt then more, don't take what they say personally. Don't buy into the lies they tell you, slow to speak if you have to speak to them. If they go on about whatever and bending the truth to fit their narrative, don't try to defend yourself. People love to set the record straight, don't bother, especially when they're trying to damage your other relationships with friends and family. If they can get through to your people, then they're not your people. Make your moves in silence. Use their pride to your advantage. Have a friend over when they come by to make sure they behave. My ex likes to save face. The mission they're on is to make you lose your cool so they can use it against you later. My ex loves recording me, losing my temper after he'd spend a day or more baiting and bashing me bc the constant emotional abuse would get to be too much. I stored doing that. Now I remind myself that everything I do I will have to answer for. He'll do whatever it takes to get me during the divorce even if it damage or daughter. Never lose the memory of what they do to you when the tables are turned. "WWND" what would narcissist do. Remember it, make it your mantra. Stay true to your boundaries. You can love a person and not be with them. We do it all the time with friends and family. Love should never be an excuse for staying and betraying yourself instead of walking away. I starting dating my ex in high school more than 25 yrs ago (I'm 42), married for 13, we have a 7 year old. Our lives were entangled. Now I'm making great money again, I've even got a side business that's growing, my daughter is still struggling but I got her in counseling immediately after we left.
Be honest about your part in it (not to them necessarily but to yourself) and make a commitment to yourself to be better. The one thing that I do in response to the horrendous and often inappropriate texts is I respond with something they've used like " wow, you're so obsessed with me, it's sad to see you like this. I'm just not interested in you anymore." My ex stops the stalking for at least a few days when I do that. Good luck everyone!
And a scammer that's constantly hacking me
Don’t stoop to their level