@@recoveringsoul755 - I think it was meant in reference to the spontaneity of the present moment’s surprises (things out of their control), as well as the inability for them to spontaneously express genuine emotions (vs. deceptive masking as a form of manipulation).
@@brightstar4321 Yes definitely they can. Maybe almost always :) But eventually the liberation cures the pain, at least in my experience, and that's an important point IMHO.
@@brightstar4321 Tho I just realized it cures the pain of missing 'them', but not the damage they caused, a whole other pain. For that have Richard's terrible homework as seen in the Fortress program :) Sigh it can't just be easy lol
OOF - hard to hear, but necessary at 18:25 re :"Because he hates you, and he loved that. He loved hating you. He loved vomiting his vile negative energy into and onto you. He loved using you as a receptacle for his own negativity". Hearing that, I know it's true. Devastating, but true. And the truth shall set you free. Thank you.
Yes truth set us free, these people need someone close who would make their life tasty and colorful by abusing you. Their lies and cheating would not matter , would not deliver so much pleasure without looking in tho a partner's eyes after knowing what they just done, teir cheating is not cheating without you, they have to have a somebody who makes sleeping around become cheating, that what fuels them - not the cheating but knowing that they let somebody down. When I realized the truth I vomited,then went blank, ruminating stopped, i was free
@@catshouse6192this statement is so liberating. I hear you, I only exist to support the perversion,without me it's just an act, but with a wife and family around them, it's a perversion and fun. And the family offers the security of not being suspected of being a deviant
Here in Utah (Mormon-town), there’s a common phrase we use for gross “men”: ICK. They have The Ick. It’s sooo icky. I’m sooo grateful Richard covered this word and where it actually comes from. ick is REAL, and VERRRY DISTINCT. Utah ick is its own version/level, for sure.🥸👹🤮
GAWD!! That REALLY happens. I went thru all those phases, ending up depleted completely.. and went to bed. He was fine that i wanted to opt out of life. I went to a hotel for a weekend came home packed up, moved out and filed for divorce.
Yes it went dark but that's exactly the way it is. My predominant feeling was that I was caught in some kind of psycho thriller movie that wasn't a movie and I couldn't get out. Yes, I got out but it took probably almost 3 years and a year and a half of therapy and much support from loving friends and family and a deep spiritual practice. There's nothing easy about it and in fact I would say if recovery seems easy then you didn't experience a narcissistic relationship. It truly is a nightmare beyond words on all levels. Thank you for your work and your wonderful videos. You're saving lives and you know it. Keep fighting the good fight. Richard.❤
One thing I recall, my ex hubby narc reacted to my comment " you're so predictable " . He didn't like to be noticed for his behaviour. I can't help referring him as an Idiot. It's taken years to get myself not to be affected. I gave all to my marriage. I'm free and liberated now.
I told my husband few years ago that I know what's coming when he moves a specific chair into a specific position. Till now he mentions it at least once a week. I'm still in this marriage and figuring out what to do emotionally but your comment help me to clear and visualise some things a bit more. Thanks 🙏
My ex would withdraw his attention and when I would ask him why or how he was feeling he would ask why I hated him (guilt trip). He would completely turn it around. So bizarre.
Thank you!! My mind is still playing games with me to the point that it almost wants to convince me I was the problem in our marriage, and I need to apologize to him. These kinds of videos and conversations really are so so so helpful ❤
Same here. I have had three serious panic attacks over this during the past month. I made him leave at the beginning of August. I'm having a very hard time seeing him as one.
Thanks. I filed a couple of months ago. Was asked to move back in the house last week. I know why and I know I'm on a better path. Lord help the ones who are still doing all they can for their marriage. I'm sorry, and take care of yourself.
My very deepest thanks for your insights. Had no idea what I was dealing with all these years. No one talked about it. Now the puzzle fits. Now I feel whole. Much love ❤❤❤
My ex is according to my children's counselor, is a malignant narcissist with sociopath and sadistic tendencies. We were married for 17 years. The abuse doesn't end with divorce. He is now trying to get me thrown in prison for years for simply protecting my children from him. Your content has been very helpful and enlightening. I have had to take a very hard look inside to see what were my faults and what is his. I grew up hearing to hang on in the hard times, marriage is forever, God hates divorce, and don't share your dirty laundry. So, for 17 years I said nothing, filed no charges, and always let him back in after he would abandoned us. All of my children hate him, yet I still have to release them to him every other weekend. His goal is still to inflict as much pain and control over me as possible. The only things that are getting me back to me is, clinging to God, recording everything, gaining a strong... yet few... community, limiting and contact with him, and your content. I allowed so much, that's on me. But, at least now I'm starting to be able to see clearly. Thank you.
My first husband was diagnosed as a sociopath. He claimed he was going to Bust Hell wide open, kick Satan out and take over. He actually thought he was that powerful. After trying to kill me for eleven years after our divorce, he died. That's the only way to escape them. 😢
Fantastic description of the necessary and sufficient conditions for engaging in and maintaining- and evolving- a mature, adult, fulfilling relationship. It’s why many of us choose to stay single especially after a NA relationship. It seems there are so few people willing to show up and engage from a place of embracing that fluid equality. Wonderful video! Thank you!
😊. I am almost 10 years out of a false marriage. I am SO completely content in life with nobody but my child and parents. Honestly don’t think I could ever have interest in relationships in the future! But I’m happy with that 😊❤🙏
Excellent. I spent three full days deep in my mind doing just that, deconstructing the lies and incongruencies brick by brick, and at the end of it I felt whole again. I will do the Matrix course just to be sure. Much appreciated.
The world view of a narcissist is hard to get your head around because it is the epitome of confusion and chaos. God (i.e peace and order) is not the author of confusion. 1 Corinthians 14:33 “For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace”
Thank you so very much I know you aren’t here to give all the answers but after 16 years of the most confusing and terrifying time of my life with the father of my children, I appreciate you sharing what you know about the problem. My doctor said I would grieve but I am definitely in the category of what feels like excessive grieving for nine months now. He was always calling me stupid, lazy, worthless, and said he had someone else. But he wouldn’t leave either.
I'm so sorry you've been through such a horrible, terrifying, abusive marriage 😢❤ I've survived a couple of similar sounding relationships (yes, I'm a slow learner apparently 😞) and from my experience & what I've learned about grieving the loss of the hopes & dreams (the "shared fantasy" as Richard & other's have named it) I had in the beginning of the realationship, it's like grieving the death of a loved one except there's no-one 'literally' died. Grieving is very individual & there are phases which can include shock, denial, anger, sadness, fear & finally acceptance but it's not a linear process (we can go back & forth between eg: feeling heartbroken & crying our eyes out to feeling extreme anger/rage at the injustice & abuse we were subject to in the space of hours or days or weeks and end up feeling like we're back at the beginning but, that is perfectly normal 🤗) All those reactions & feelings that come up are valid & hopefully you have a safe place (with a trusted friend/family member and/or a dr/therapist to support you) where you can share how you're feeling as those feelings come up. You've been through so much & never deserved to be treated with anything less than respect, caring & love. Personally, it's been over 18 months since I left what turned out to be an abusive relationship with a ( just my opinion & he hasn't been diagnosed), covert borderline man. I'm only just now starting to see some 'light at the end of the tunnel' (ie: I now have some days where my mind, body & thoughts are calm & content not crazily spinning or depressed or furiously angry.) and I'm solidly grounded in reality (reality can really suck & be so painful but it's also clear, positive, healthy & freeing) Be very, very gentle with yourself, self-compassionate & caring as you grieve & recover your life. You're not alone ❤
@@bluecandymsp thank you for sharing your experience. I know we are not alone. I am still fresh from the realization and cannot diagnose the particular illness but my husband discarded us quite literally after his years of abuse. I wish it was different but all I can do is move on and pick up the pieces.
One of the hardest parts for me was to not take it personally. Because it sure feels personal!! But it's not my fault and it's not personal. He would have done the same evil things to any target. 14 years in lost everything living in my car. But never going back.
It is the hardest thing to do in your life!!!! Not only in marriage but in general with every close relationship especially covert narc parents to accept that you have been used only for their advantage but that person has no your best interests at all!
My ex did the kneeling in front of me, sobbing and begging me not to leave. I went back again after that break up. I broke us up 3 times, always trying to get closer and explaining that we didn't get along and we were toxic together. He would tell me that I just was depressed and chose to think like this.
During the divorce process he got on his knees in front of me and asked me to marry him. Never on his knees all the other times. I told him let's finish this divorce, live separate, you get sober and work on yourself for 3 years. And then we can consider being friends again. He didn't like that idea. Required effort on his part. And accountability
It is true that one must break free from a cult like personality, but there is laughter and joy .. and love, post Narcissist. Exercise.. and counseling is key, but in order to ultimately see, I named the connection Nos Veratu.
My dad's name was Robert Richard & they called him Dick. He was in world War 2 but lost his arm in a car accident when he was 22. He was an amazing man. ❤
We stayed, I personally stayed Because I believed that they love me and that there must be some hidden reason I do not understand or see and never occurred to my mind that I was abused!
I heard once a quote: Hell is other people. But seriously..i am a very loving person but i lost the confidence and the openness to enter into 'romantic' relationships...i live my life alone and as a result thereof my life became very peaceful...i love my cats and birds and other animals i care for ...
You are exactly right! I'm strong -- not co-dependent. He knows I'm honorable is why he enjoys tormenting me. His hope is to destroy me -- my goal is to survive and thrive and stay resilient (while waiting for a train to hit him), I'm done with him, I just hang around with a smile enjoying the roof he puts over my head, enjoying the love and laughter that doesn't include him (from my children and my God) Luckily, there are lines he cannot cross -- or he loses everything.
Healthy people don’t put up with their sociopathy once they’ve seen what’s under the mask. I’m learning so many things in the last couple of months since being discarded by a narcissist. Thank you for your videos.
The numbing aspect is so true. My narc ex would wake up craving coffee, then chewing tobacco, then alcohol, then cannabis; all day long, every day , day after day. Took me a long time to figure it out.
I still have grief and trauma bond it’s been 1 year 5 months. Working hard on myself, not easy finding help from someone who’s been through it, my grief from death of loved ones was normal grief cycles, the more I learn the sadistic sociopath covert cluster b is hard to heal, soul level, even all the videos I watch I haven’t heard anyone talk about some things I endured. It was like a demonic entity, with him around and after came the trauma. Vampires are right. God help you all🥰🙏🥰🙏I was asleep to who he was. Do they do witchcraft or I think the demons work through them. thank you, I really appreciate your videos I just couldn’t take anymore I am actually very easy to get along with, I have no idea how these monsters can flip everything back on you, spread rumors they are the victim. I never one time started any conflict with him He had it made, but hated me so much. I finally stopped trying to understand the cruelty. But they are so loving and kind to others. A covert plays like they are shy vulnerable and a work horse, lot of skeletons
This whole comment is exactly how my marriage went. I left almost 3 months ago after 11 yrs together, and he still hasn’t made any comments regarding my absence despite interacting fairly often as I now live in a limited resource situation and still have to go back to house for hot water activities like shower and laundry. Small talk convention every time we cross paths as if nothing has changed… and my sick brain will just immediately participate in the ridiculous theater in a friendly way without even hesitating. So used to the bullshit fake nonsense while creepin on eggshells to even realize it’s happening at first.. it’s so disturbing to me that I put up with any of it without any protest whatsoever.
The reality of the actual brainwash really disturbs me… like a lot a lot. So unsettling that I really wouldn’t have described myself as any kind of “controlled”, and even now I find myself participating in the most imbecilic small talk conventions when we interact, even though I left my 7 yr marriage almost 3 months ago, and he has still not said a thing about it.
Truly tragic. I have so much love to give and it was wasted on him. People say just leave it all behind and start over. But at certain ages and health conditions, you can't. Not when they take all the resources
Who says narcissists can't be happy? in the world that we live in, where looking good/ putting effort into your appearance is valued and makes you have a lot of attention/ praise and being selfish is viewed as a good quality, narcissistic individuals thrive.
I have spent literally years realizing the problem with my partner, and trying to understand it. I have made no actual headway in understanding it on my seemingly delusional thoughts of “wrapping my head around it.” The one and only thing I have realized is that NPD seems to be one of the most toxic and cyclical cycles of chaos and trauma inducing frustration there is. I truly believe there is no good answer to it. Ultimately it is a matter of deciding one day to forgive myself for the mistake I made in believing someone was something they are not, have no interest in becoming (growing toward), and possibly the outright inability to do so even if they did. Regardless, I have basically given up completely, but not been in the position to free myself from the trauma. And the longer I wait, the bigger the “scars” seem to be forming. That is the real struggle for me. I will find myself again, but there will no doubt be a stain.
But yes I do sense the introjects in me, I can see my self-confidence is weakened in other areas of my life, more doubtful than usual, so yes perhaps healing from their coordinates :) Great point. So then work still to do still. lol guess it's wishful thinking to think you can come out unscathed!
One more insight regarding narc parents. We as children are trained to make their job as parents easier which means to fit, adjust and bend in any shape of form possible so we do not make their parenting a burden / which we never had to be honest/
My mother is a covert narcissist. She hasn't changed , either. She is 76 years old , but she still cannot be criticized, is a thief ( steals my money and blames other people for it) , is a pathological liar, is pathologically resentful of people who expensive material possessions and money, is physically violent, believes everyone is working her with witchcraft - even my husband 😂. Her boyfriend died in December of 2023. She accused his grown -up daughter of poisoning him ( 75 year old man who lived with his family in his own home for decades) , but it was actually meant for her. I have morals and integrity and empathy, but she has absolutely none. She is the most entitled person I have ever come across. You absolutely can not choose your family!
Richard Married at 21 3 children later I couldn’t continue after devoting 26 years of loyalty and hope. Leaving was scary Very It’s now 11 years and I still have difficulty with anxiety and depression We ( my ex and I ) now have 5 grandchildren so it’s impossible to not see each other and communicate . We are both of Greek and Cypriot Australian who were raised to stay married But leaving a man you actually love and hoped to grow old an enjoy your grandchildren is now a painful new reality I’m only 55 and stayed 26 years Leaving is not only difficult but dangerous honey It’s A fkn hard call I did it And hope your viewers are encouraged by my achievement Don’t give up beautifully empaths Dina 🙏💕
I'm told I'm cold, a piece of shit, brat, baby... Destroys my belongings, etc. After 2 years of this I made an appointment to talk to him about separating/divorce. He DOES NOT cry, pled or beg (I do) he just simply says "I'll do better" He absolutely REFUSES to talk, he gets angry and walks away! Unfortunately I've been divorced before and it was done respectfully and civilly.
This, within the first two or three minutes of the video, was exactly my "relationship" for two and a half years. The police hauled him off at 7:00 a.m. a week and a half ago, and I. Am. Free. (So to speak, because there are still months court appearances, sentencing, blah blah blah, my own mental state and lost years to recoup, but... I. Am. Free.) Thank you to the person who wrote the question, and thank you, Richard, for all of your videos.
Looking around in 2024, and being 43...the time has gone over me, im stuck in the 'old values' that people dont care about anymore. There are so many narcs around, or at least very selfcentered individuals... I dont belive i can meet someone naturaly (not digitaly) and have a mature, respectful and healthy relationship. Sadly i gave up on healthy relationships, i rather walk the path alone. I gave 15 years od my life to narcs... I guess i have a tag on my back for narcs. But i know now, so i say just F O. Thank you Richard.
Their insecurity and paranoia prevents there ever being a hope of a healthy,intimate relationship.Their selfishness and greed puts you in competition,in their minds,towards resources.A narcissist is essentially a predator and just uses their "partner".
I often asked my exN why he got married for 2nd time, if he wasn't willing to change his behaviour or spend time with me. He wasn't unhappy with me, wasn't physically or verbally abusive, very generous, to a fault with his money. Now that I know about narcissism, I understand why he needed to be with someone, anyone in order to separate n individuate from his mother. Being a narc, he was unable to change his behaviour. I blame myself for tolerating his behaviour for 25 yrs. He finally left with new supply and a brand new exotic shared fantasy that's crumbling before my eyes. He's finally overplayed his hand, and he's aging but unable to recognise his own shortcomings.
I feel that exactly 28 years 1 year separation she had our boy 5 years later goes off again. Found a lovely sole she wants to try again after 10 months I agree I loved my family. Find 6 months later she doesn't want her ex in her life anymore. Thought he was gone so I stood up he left us alone fast forward things are great no real issuse see the friend pattern coming back from her coworker gaslight ro max. I was broken agreed ro try again just found out new fix for her is married with 5 kids wanted ro tell his wife but she begged me not to. I'm sure there more supplies our there as I can recall atheist 10 not knowing she was narcissistic. Keep secret. ???
Thank you! Once again too many helpful insights to single out any one. You manage to expose and define the most mind- bending stuff that Narcissists do. Thank you for offering this information for all who might not have access to good quality resources.
I consider myself to be a pretty strong person. Life! But figuring this thing out kicked the shit out of me. Until ONE DAY, I saw something that I could not unsee. I knew then, I had to start researching. The mere volume of people saying EXACTLY the same things: red flags, something’s off, but couldn’t put their finger on it. nervous system on fire, sadisitic shit, blameshifting, overly sensitive to any criticism, your GUT literally telling you to flee, (tmi, I was immediately so upset I went straight to the bathroom). He never really laughs with people, but at them. Never really smiles properly, on and on… What did it take to get me out? Over time, it was the stonewalling at the drop of a hat for days, weeks. No explanations. That’s what I call dumbfuckery. It’s over. Enough. Bless you all. Have faith.❤
About that first question: why do they get married if they want to be single? Because they want a mommy who takes care of the work of life so that they can play single.
So, with the so called “therapists” they tried to find which element in the relationship led to that or the other without realizing that we have nothing in common with them and that I am used, no element in the relationship or situationship led to nothing!
Hi Richard Was in for over 3 decades abuse of every kind and adultery 4 years to get divorced still getting post abuse as still waiting for house to be sold how do I not let the threats get to me and turn it around I just go into freeze state ?
yes , letting go of the fantasy relationship was very painful. i cant believe i lost tbree yrars of my life. i also struggle to not think about him most dsys as i realise i wss in a situationship that never was . i Loved him yet he obviously not didnt me
Try almost 23! 😩💔 and three kids! 😢💔💔💔 Youngest is 16 now… last one home. Narc hubby is out of the house for 8 weeks, now… but I’m on a damn roller coaster, and swear I need his fucking help for me to leave him!? 😮😢🤦🏻♀️ Maybe it’s me; I’m the narc. Even though it’s not me who has constant & multiple affairs, lies, obfuscates, manipulates, deceives, future-fake’s, etc: it’s HIM!!? HE has done this shit to me for 22 yrs. Fml.🤦🏻♀️
Been dads and men's emotional toilet until I turned 50. 55 now. Got ridda both. And now, I'm finally good enough for ME!!! 😁 Totally lost hope for future though. They do their job well.
What advice can you give when a covert narcissist wife, who I am actively trying to heal from (literally living in different places), but we share children together. I have considered moving back in with the narcissist if only to protect my children from her abuse. I have seen that she is already altering her supply from me to my oldest daughter. That scares me. How do I protect my children without sacrificing my own self worth?
Brother, hang in there. Personally, I think back to 4 months ago and I would never ever go back. I am excited about life and the future. You know that you'll get burnt. But only you can move forward and live with yourself. Don't forget how bad things could be living with them. Heal and enjoy reality
No, that means you're coping with too much pain. That's where I'm at right now. When you've suffered as many stupid, narcissistic relationships as I have, since birth, sometimes that feels the only way to escape it for a moment.
9mons will they come trying to get you back after they did the divorce to take you down! The evil in them! It’s hard to move on especially sharing a child.
vampires are real and there are wolves in sheep’s clothing. and I’m listening again and again so I embody it. And - Much Respect to your cool, pirate grandfather! It’s the quirk in us that lights the world sometimes 🔆 -so loved that story!🕯️✨
I don't understand. I know consciously it wasn't real, I was being used, the person how they presented themselves wasn't real. I processed that pretty quickly, as a matter of necessity. I felt better for doing it. Complete 180. And it's held. Isn't that the shared fantasy? So why do the introjects persist? Maybe it just takes time. Or some other factor too.
The introjects are in the narcissist’s mind about you/their sources of supply. An introject is a false ‘idea/persona’ the narcissist fantasizes in their own mind of who someone is to the narcissist. The narcissist has their own persona/idea of who you are to them and what role you play in them getting narcissistic supply from you. If you don’t match their introject in reality, it upsets them because you aren’t ‘fulfilling your duties’ to the narcissist in the ‘shared fantasy’ they created that includes their introject of you. They met you and then created who they really wanted you to be in their mind and ‘loved’ that version of you as long as they gained narcissistic supply from you. In some sense, humans can’t face reality, so the shared fantasy space is the human way of interpreting reality so that we feel in control/secure. The ‘introject’ is the narcissist’s idea of you and the role you play in their fantasy that gets them supply. It is good that you recognize who they presented themselves as to you wasn’t real. The hardest part for me was facing/dealing with recognizing how their ‘love for me’ wasn’t ever really there. It was all an act, or them pretending, to manipulate me to get supply or give them some form of mental security while they never really ‘loved me’ as if I truly mattered to them. If you want a deeper understanding of an introject you can search for “Sam Vaknin introject” and it will bring up multiple videos. Sam is a narcissist, a genius, and has written a lot about narcissism. He and Richard used to collaborate but had a falling out/disagreement and went separate ways. It is not discussed by Richard (I respect that) but I still see Dr. Vaknin as a good resource for learning about and understanding narcissism. I saw your name in the live chat but was interacting with another chatter. I hope this helps.
Ha it's not rocket science. When people emotionally abuse you, you'll internalize their words and behaviour. Ah i still can't quite face it. I know it's wrong and false but it hurt me. Duh. Thanks for the free counselling session doc lol
Dang, missed this one. Will way u later. Did want to comment on a very funny video that you posted a while back. Enid you talked about our ancestors and how they did not have time to indulging narcissistic just got to behavior because they were so busy surviving. This was not the case with Stonehenge. That was thousands of years ago and they partake in many extraordinary rituals and celebrations and periods of reflection and thoughts of life and its meaning. Maybe I have my centuries all mixed up. Anyway I'm still struggling I'm still stuck my x x narcissist is still in my brain.
I’m trying to understand why Richard as stated that narcissism is like some one with narcolepsy putting them selfs to sleep? I suffer from narcolepsy with cataplexy. I certainly don’t put my self to sleep? There are sleep hormones in the brain that I no longer produce. Nothing to do with narcissism. Please don’t get the two confused. Thank you
“Narcissists don’t like: life, change, spontaneity or authenticity.. they want you dead ☠️ with them.” ~RVG
😔
Yes... hard for most people to believe but very true...sadly!
He seemed very spontaneous
@@recoveringsoul755 - I think it was meant in reference to the spontaneity of the present moment’s surprises (things out of their control), as well as the inability for them to spontaneously express genuine emotions (vs. deceptive masking as a form of manipulation).
@@brightstar4321 oh. I can see why autistic people can be mistaken for narcissistic ones. And a person can be both.
“Narcissists aren’t capable of offering intimacy, authenticity, vulnerability or love.” ~RVG
They will never discuss such things since that is too distressing for them, as all truth is!
“Mourning the relationship means letting go of the shared fantasy… and that’s painful; very, very painful.” ~RVG
I dunno I would argue liberating :)
@@evapawlowska - Are you saying things that are painful cannot be liberating? I think they can be both.
@@brightstar4321 Yes definitely they can. Maybe almost always :) But eventually the liberation cures the pain, at least in my experience, and that's an important point IMHO.
Absolutely liberating!! Never felt better when the shared fantasy aka delusion ended!
@@brightstar4321 Tho I just realized it cures the pain of missing 'them', but not the damage they caused, a whole other pain. For that have Richard's terrible homework as seen in the Fortress program :) Sigh it can't just be easy lol
OOF - hard to hear, but necessary at 18:25 re :"Because he hates you, and he loved that. He loved hating you. He loved vomiting his vile negative energy into and onto you. He loved using you as a receptacle for his own negativity". Hearing that, I know it's true. Devastating, but true. And the truth shall set you free. Thank you.
Realizing this is the only thing that got me out and kept me out
Epic
Yes truth set us free, these people need someone close who would make their life tasty and colorful by abusing you. Their lies and cheating would not matter , would not deliver so much pleasure without looking in tho a partner's eyes after knowing what they just done, teir cheating is not cheating without you, they have to have a somebody who makes sleeping around become cheating, that what fuels them - not the cheating but knowing that they let somebody down.
When I realized the truth I vomited,then went blank, ruminating stopped, i was free
@@catshouse6192this statement is so liberating. I hear you, I only exist to support the perversion,without me it's just an act, but with a wife and family around them, it's a perversion and fun. And the family offers the security of not being suspected of being a deviant
Here in Utah (Mormon-town), there’s a common phrase we use for gross “men”: ICK. They have The Ick. It’s sooo icky. I’m sooo grateful Richard covered this word and where it actually comes from. ick is REAL, and VERRRY DISTINCT. Utah ick is its own version/level, for sure.🥸👹🤮
GAWD!! That REALLY happens. I went thru all those phases, ending up depleted completely.. and went to bed. He was fine that i wanted to opt out of life. I went to a hotel for a weekend came home packed up, moved out and filed for divorce.
Yes it went dark but that's exactly the way it is. My predominant feeling was that I was caught in some kind of psycho thriller movie that wasn't a movie and I couldn't get out. Yes, I got out but it took probably almost 3 years and a year and a half of therapy and much support from loving friends and family and a deep spiritual practice. There's nothing easy about it and in fact I would say if recovery seems easy then you didn't experience a narcissistic relationship. It truly is a nightmare beyond words on all levels. Thank you for your work and your wonderful videos. You're saving lives and you know it. Keep fighting the good fight. Richard.❤
Narcissistic husbands seem to choose resilient, strong & independent women so they don’t need to do anything for them.
True!
And so they can suck those great qualities out of them. Vampires!
💯
My wife chose me for those exact reasons.
🎯
One thing I recall, my ex hubby narc reacted to my comment " you're so predictable " . He didn't like to be noticed for his behaviour. I can't help referring him as an Idiot. It's taken years to get myself not to be affected. I gave all to my marriage. I'm free and liberated now.
I told my husband few years ago that I know what's coming when he moves a specific chair into a specific position. Till now he mentions it at least once a week. I'm still in this marriage and figuring out what to do emotionally but your comment help me to clear and visualise some things a bit more. Thanks 🙏
My ex would withdraw his attention and when I would ask him why or how he was feeling he would ask why I hated him (guilt trip). He would completely turn it around. So bizarre.
"I thought I always had you by my side, but I don't, and I can barely fathom how to move forward." Not. One. THOUGHT. ABOUT. ME.
Same for me...
Thank you!! My mind is still playing games with me to the point that it almost wants to convince me I was the problem in our marriage, and I need to apologize to him.
These kinds of videos and conversations really are so so so helpful ❤
Same here. I have had three serious panic attacks over this during the past month. I made him leave at the beginning of August. I'm having a very hard time seeing him as one.
Thanks. I filed a couple of months ago. Was asked to move back in the house last week.
I know why and I know I'm on a better path. Lord help the ones who are still doing all they can for their marriage. I'm sorry, and take care of yourself.
😢. Praying for you 🙏. May Christ protect you 🙏
Buy at least one of his guides. They are so helpful.
My very deepest thanks for your insights. Had no idea what I was dealing with all these years. No one talked about it. Now the puzzle fits. Now I feel whole. Much love ❤❤❤
My ex is according to my children's counselor, is a malignant narcissist with sociopath and sadistic tendencies. We were married for 17 years. The abuse doesn't end with divorce. He is now trying to get me thrown in prison for years for simply protecting my children from him. Your content has been very helpful and enlightening. I have had to take a very hard look inside to see what were my faults and what is his. I grew up hearing to hang on in the hard times, marriage is forever, God hates divorce, and don't share your dirty laundry. So, for 17 years I said nothing, filed no charges, and always let him back in after he would abandoned us. All of my children hate him, yet I still have to release them to him every other weekend. His goal is still to inflict as much pain and control over me as possible. The only things that are getting me back to me is, clinging to God, recording everything, gaining a strong... yet few... community, limiting and contact with him, and your content. I allowed so much, that's on me. But, at least now I'm starting to be able to see clearly. Thank you.
My first husband was diagnosed as a sociopath. He claimed he was going to Bust Hell wide open, kick Satan out and take over. He actually thought he was that powerful. After trying to kill me for eleven years after our divorce, he died. That's the only way to escape them. 😢
Fantastic description of the necessary and sufficient conditions for engaging in and maintaining- and evolving- a mature, adult, fulfilling relationship. It’s why many of us choose to stay single especially after a NA relationship. It seems there are so few people willing to show up and engage from a place of embracing that fluid equality. Wonderful video! Thank you!
😊. I am almost 10 years out of a false marriage. I am SO completely content in life with nobody but my child and parents. Honestly don’t think I could ever have interest in relationships in the future! But I’m happy with that 😊❤🙏
Excellent. I spent three full days deep in my mind doing just that, deconstructing the lies and incongruencies brick by brick, and at the end of it I felt whole again. I will do the Matrix course just to be sure. Much appreciated.
Good for you. 35 years and I’m still putting the puzzle pieces together 😢
Man, this really hits home. Your wisdom has opened my eyes yet again, Richard. Thank you.
They can't stand to be alone.
The world view of a narcissist is hard to get your head around because it is the epitome of confusion and chaos. God (i.e peace and order) is not the author of confusion.
1 Corinthians 14:33
“For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace”
Thank you so very much
I know you aren’t here to give all the answers but after 16 years of the most confusing and terrifying time of my life with the father of my children, I appreciate you sharing what you know about the problem. My doctor said I would grieve but I am definitely in the category of what feels like excessive grieving for nine months now.
He was always calling me stupid, lazy, worthless, and said he had someone else. But he wouldn’t leave either.
I'm so sorry you've been through such a horrible, terrifying, abusive marriage 😢❤ I've survived a couple of similar sounding relationships (yes, I'm a slow learner apparently 😞) and from my experience & what I've learned about grieving the loss of the hopes & dreams (the "shared fantasy" as Richard & other's have named it) I had in the beginning of the realationship, it's like grieving the death of a loved one except there's no-one 'literally' died.
Grieving is very individual & there are phases which can include shock, denial, anger, sadness, fear & finally acceptance but it's not a linear process (we can go back & forth between eg: feeling heartbroken & crying our eyes out to feeling extreme anger/rage at the injustice & abuse we were subject to in the space of hours or days or weeks and end up feeling like we're back at the beginning but, that is perfectly normal 🤗)
All those reactions & feelings that come up are valid & hopefully you have a safe place (with a trusted friend/family member and/or a dr/therapist to support you) where you can share how you're feeling as those feelings come up. You've been through so much & never deserved to be treated with anything less than respect, caring & love.
Personally, it's been over 18 months since I left what turned out to be an abusive relationship with a ( just my opinion & he hasn't been diagnosed), covert borderline man. I'm only just now starting to see some 'light at the end of the tunnel' (ie: I now have some days where my mind, body & thoughts are calm & content not crazily spinning or depressed or furiously angry.) and I'm solidly grounded in reality (reality can really suck & be so painful but it's also clear, positive, healthy & freeing)
Be very, very gentle with yourself, self-compassionate & caring as you grieve & recover your life. You're not alone ❤
@@bluecandymsp thank you for sharing your experience. I know we are not alone.
I am still fresh from the realization and cannot diagnose the particular illness but my husband discarded us quite literally after his years of abuse. I wish it was different but all I can do is move on and pick up the pieces.
One of the hardest parts for me was to not take it personally. Because it sure feels personal!! But it's not my fault and it's not personal. He would have done the same evil things to any target.
14 years in lost everything living in my car. But never going back.
Prreeeeeaaaaccchhh! Yes. "He loved hating you."
One of Richard's best videos yet. Thank you.
Thank you for offering a video on the topic of marriage and narcissists. This was helpful. I’m glad you are doing well
The sheer depths of delusion and dissociation in the person I am recovering from has become the most salient “take-away” I have learned about NPD.
It is the hardest thing to do in your life!!!! Not only in marriage but in general with every close relationship especially covert narc parents to accept that you have been used only for their advantage but that person has no your best interests at all!
My ex did the kneeling in front of me, sobbing and begging me not to leave. I went back again after that break up. I broke us up 3 times, always trying to get closer and explaining that we didn't get along and we were toxic together. He would tell me that I just was depressed and chose to think like this.
During the divorce process he got on his knees in front of me and asked me to marry him.
Never on his knees all the other times.
I told him let's finish this divorce, live separate, you get sober and work on yourself for 3 years. And then we can consider being friends again.
He didn't like that idea. Required effort on his part. And accountability
It is true that one must break free from a cult like personality, but there is laughter and joy .. and love, post Narcissist. Exercise.. and counseling is key, but in order to ultimately see, I named the connection Nos Veratu.
Richard , this hits home for me..10 years of it :( .. Thanks for your work mate
"... I'm just a humble peasant" 😂
Your sense of humour is definitely still in tact ! ❤️
My dad's name was Robert Richard & they called him Dick.
He was in world War 2 but lost his arm in a car accident when he was 22. He was an amazing man. ❤
Are you kidding, they don’t know a healthy quiet balanced calm real relationship- that’s way too real
We stayed, I personally stayed Because I believed that they love me and that there must be some hidden reason I do not understand or see and never occurred to my mind that I was abused!
I heard once a quote: Hell is other people. But seriously..i am a very loving person but i lost the confidence and the openness to enter into 'romantic' relationships...i live my life alone and as a result thereof my life became very peaceful...i love my cats and birds and other animals i care for ...
I laughed out loud. From the pit of my stomach whilst learning. Chef's kiss Richie 🤌🏾
Ending a 5 year relationship is all very fresh and painful. Thank you for the education and personal experiences, it has helped tremendously.
You are exactly right! I'm strong -- not co-dependent. He knows I'm honorable is why he enjoys tormenting me. His hope is to destroy me -- my goal is to survive and thrive and stay resilient (while waiting for a train to hit him), I'm done with him, I just hang around with a smile enjoying the roof he puts over my head, enjoying the love and laughter that doesn't include him (from my children and my God) Luckily, there are lines he cannot cross -- or he loses everything.
Giving me a lesson and making me laugh all in one lol, you're hilarious !
Healthy people don’t put up with their sociopathy once they’ve seen what’s under the mask. I’m learning so many things in the last couple of months since being discarded by a narcissist. Thank you for your videos.
Omg the pathetic kneeling! As Scar said on Lion King .. “ I’m surrounded by idiots!”
The numbing aspect is so true. My narc ex would wake up craving coffee, then chewing tobacco, then alcohol, then cannabis; all day long, every day , day after day. Took me a long time to figure it out.
I still have grief and trauma bond it’s been 1 year 5 months. Working hard on myself, not easy finding help from someone who’s been through it, my grief from death of loved ones was normal grief cycles, the more I learn the sadistic sociopath covert cluster b is hard to heal, soul level, even all the videos I watch I haven’t heard anyone talk about some things I endured. It was like a demonic entity, with him around and after came the trauma. Vampires are right. God help you all🥰🙏🥰🙏I was asleep to who he was. Do they do witchcraft or I think the demons work through them.
thank you, I really appreciate your videos
I just couldn’t take anymore
I am actually very easy to get along with, I have no idea how these monsters can flip everything back on you, spread rumors they are the victim.
I never one time started any conflict with him
He had it made, but hated me so much.
I finally stopped trying to understand the cruelty. But they are so loving and kind to others. A covert plays like they are shy vulnerable and a work horse, lot of skeletons
This whole comment is exactly how my marriage went. I left almost 3 months ago after 11 yrs together, and he still hasn’t made any comments regarding my absence despite interacting fairly often as I now live in a limited resource situation and still have to go back to house for hot water activities like shower and laundry. Small talk convention every time we cross paths as if nothing has changed… and my sick brain will just immediately participate in the ridiculous theater in a friendly way without even hesitating. So used to the bullshit fake nonsense while creepin on eggshells to even realize it’s happening at first.. it’s so disturbing to me that I put up with any of it without any protest whatsoever.
The reality of the actual brainwash really disturbs me… like a lot a lot. So unsettling that I really wouldn’t have described myself as any kind of “controlled”, and even now I find myself participating in the most imbecilic small talk conventions when we interact, even though I left my 7 yr marriage almost 3 months ago, and he has still not said a thing about it.
So so hard to understand that over 50 years of my life were a fantasy. I know you’re saying the truth! But so sad
Truly tragic. I have so much love to give and it was wasted on him.
People say just leave it all behind and start over. But at certain ages and health conditions, you can't.
Not when they take all the resources
I love the vampiric and Edgar Allen Poe effect ❤
Who says narcissists can't be happy? in the world that we live in, where looking good/ putting effort into your appearance is valued and makes you have a lot of attention/ praise and being selfish is viewed as a good quality, narcissistic individuals thrive.
I have spent literally years realizing the problem with my partner, and trying to understand it. I have made no actual headway in understanding it on my seemingly delusional thoughts of “wrapping my head around it.” The one and only thing I have realized is that NPD seems to be one of the most toxic and cyclical cycles of chaos and trauma inducing frustration there is. I truly believe there is no good answer to it. Ultimately it is a matter of deciding one day to forgive myself for the mistake I made in believing someone was something they are not, have no interest in becoming (growing toward), and possibly the outright inability to do so even if they did. Regardless, I have basically given up completely, but not been in the position to free myself from the trauma. And the longer I wait, the bigger the “scars” seem to be forming. That is the real struggle for me. I will find myself again, but there will no doubt be a stain.
Well said. Keep moving on❤
But yes I do sense the introjects in me, I can see my self-confidence is weakened in other areas of my life, more doubtful than usual, so yes perhaps healing from their coordinates :) Great point. So then work still to do still. lol guess it's wishful thinking to think you can come out unscathed!
One more insight regarding narc parents. We as children are trained to make their job as parents easier which means to fit, adjust and bend in any shape of form possible so we do not make their parenting a burden / which we never had to be honest/
Thankyou ...also my dog loves your voice 🤣
having a conversation with Them becomes an in terview
Annelie Elizabeth, might (and not sure here) is that they may think you get them, you understand their needs, so you look good to them.
My dad has had NPD his whole life - THEY DON'T CHANGE - end of story.
My mother is a covert narcissist. She hasn't changed , either. She is 76 years old , but she still cannot be criticized, is a thief ( steals my money and blames other people for it) , is a pathological liar, is pathologically resentful of people who expensive material possessions and money, is physically violent, believes everyone is working her with witchcraft - even my husband 😂. Her boyfriend died in December of 2023. She accused his grown -up daughter of poisoning him ( 75 year old man who lived with his family in his own home for decades) , but it was actually meant for her. I have morals and integrity and empathy, but she has absolutely none. She is the most entitled person I have ever come across. You absolutely can not choose your family!
Great explanation ❤ another great message thank you Richard. Never stop you are helping us.
Richard
Married at 21
3 children later
I couldn’t continue after devoting 26 years of loyalty and hope.
Leaving was scary
Very
It’s now 11 years and I still have difficulty with anxiety and depression
We ( my ex and I ) now have 5 grandchildren so it’s impossible to not see each other and communicate .
We are both of Greek and Cypriot Australian who were raised to stay married
But leaving a man you actually love and hoped to grow old an enjoy your grandchildren is now a painful new reality
I’m only 55 and stayed 26 years
Leaving is not only difficult but dangerous honey
It’s
A fkn hard call
I did it
And hope your viewers are encouraged by my achievement
Don’t give up beautifully empaths
Dina 🙏💕
I love and heed you, Richard, because you make sense to me. I fear my husband. Guide me.
‘En Shante’ 😂 You are awesome RG 🙌🏻
Wow this is a fantastic video. My absolute favorite Mr Grannon!
I'm told I'm cold, a piece of shit, brat, baby... Destroys my belongings, etc. After 2 years of this I made an appointment to talk to him about separating/divorce. He DOES NOT cry, pled or beg (I do) he just simply says "I'll do better" He absolutely REFUSES to talk, he gets angry and walks away!
Unfortunately I've been divorced before and it was done respectfully and civilly.
This, within the first two or three minutes of the video, was exactly my "relationship" for two and a half years. The police hauled him off at 7:00 a.m. a week and a half ago, and I. Am. Free. (So to speak, because there are still months court appearances, sentencing, blah blah blah, my own mental state and lost years to recoup, but... I. Am. Free.) Thank you to the person who wrote the question, and thank you, Richard, for all of your videos.
Looking around in 2024, and being 43...the time has gone over me, im stuck in the 'old values' that people dont care about anymore. There are so many narcs around, or at least very selfcentered individuals... I dont belive i can meet someone naturaly (not digitaly) and have a mature, respectful and healthy relationship. Sadly i gave up on healthy relationships, i rather walk the path alone. I gave 15 years od my life to narcs... I guess i have a tag on my back for narcs. But i know now, so i say just F O. Thank you Richard.
Their insecurity and paranoia prevents there ever being a hope of a healthy,intimate relationship.Their selfishness and greed puts you in competition,in their minds,towards resources.A narcissist is essentially a predator and just uses their "partner".
Spot on!
I often asked my exN why he got married for 2nd time, if he wasn't willing to change his behaviour or spend time with me. He wasn't unhappy with me, wasn't physically or verbally abusive, very generous, to a fault with his money. Now that I know about narcissism, I understand why he needed to be with someone, anyone in order to separate n individuate from his mother. Being a narc, he was unable to change his behaviour. I blame myself for tolerating his behaviour for 25 yrs. He finally left with new supply and a brand new exotic shared fantasy that's crumbling before my eyes. He's finally overplayed his hand, and he's aging but unable to recognise his own shortcomings.
I feel that exactly 28 years 1 year separation she had our boy 5 years later goes off again. Found a lovely sole she wants to try again after 10 months I agree I loved my family. Find 6 months later she doesn't want her ex in her life anymore. Thought he was gone so I stood up he left us alone fast forward things are great no real issuse see the friend pattern coming back from her coworker gaslight ro max. I was broken agreed ro try again just found out new fix for her is married with 5 kids wanted ro tell his wife but she begged me not to. I'm sure there more supplies our there as I can recall atheist 10 not knowing she was narcissistic. Keep secret. ???
Thank you! Once again too many helpful insights to single out any one. You manage to expose and define the most mind- bending stuff that Narcissists do. Thank you for offering this information for all who might not have access to good quality resources.
Great video Richard. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. Stay strong. 💕💪
OMG I had no idea that rolling on the floor was something that narcs did I thought it was just the person I knew...thank you
Thank you, Richard. On point every time.
I consider myself to be a pretty strong person. Life! But figuring this thing out kicked the shit out of me. Until ONE DAY, I saw something that I could not unsee. I knew then, I had to start researching. The mere volume of people saying EXACTLY the same things: red flags, something’s off, but couldn’t put their finger on it. nervous system on fire, sadisitic shit, blameshifting, overly sensitive to any criticism, your GUT literally telling you to flee, (tmi, I was immediately so upset I went straight to the bathroom). He never really laughs with people, but at them. Never really smiles properly, on and on…
What did it take to get me out? Over time, it was the stonewalling at the drop of a hat for days, weeks. No explanations. That’s what I call dumbfuckery. It’s over. Enough. Bless you all. Have faith.❤
About that first question: why do they get married if they want to be single? Because they want a mommy who takes care of the work of life so that they can play single.
So, with the so called “therapists” they tried to find which element in the relationship led to that or the other without realizing that we have nothing in common with them and that I am used, no element in the relationship or situationship led to nothing!
I love your sense of humor 😂😂😂
You explained that beautifully....thank you.
Hi Richard Was in for over 3 decades abuse of every kind and adultery 4 years to get divorced still getting post abuse as still waiting for house to be sold how do I not let the threats get to me and turn it around I just go into freeze state ?
yes , letting go of the fantasy relationship was very painful. i cant believe i lost tbree yrars of my life. i also struggle to not think about him most dsys as i realise i wss in a situationship that never was . i Loved him yet he obviously not didnt me
Try almost 23! 😩💔 and three kids! 😢💔💔💔 Youngest is 16 now… last one home. Narc hubby is out of the house for 8 weeks, now… but I’m on a damn roller coaster, and swear I need his fucking help for me to leave him!? 😮😢🤦🏻♀️ Maybe it’s me; I’m the narc. Even though it’s not me who has constant & multiple affairs, lies, obfuscates, manipulates, deceives, future-fake’s, etc: it’s HIM!!? HE has done this shit to me for 22 yrs. Fml.🤦🏻♀️
ps. You've been a tremendous help to me on my journey.
Been dads and men's emotional toilet until I turned 50. 55 now. Got ridda both. And now, I'm finally good enough for ME!!! 😁 Totally lost hope for future though. They do their job well.
What advice can you give when a covert narcissist wife, who I am actively trying to heal from (literally living in different places), but we share children together. I have considered moving back in with the narcissist if only to protect my children from her abuse. I have seen that she is already altering her supply from me to my oldest daughter. That scares me. How do I protect my children without sacrificing my own self worth?
Brother, hang in there.
Personally, I think back to 4 months ago and I would never ever go back. I am excited about life and the future. You know that you'll get burnt. But only you can move forward and live with yourself. Don't forget how bad things could be living with them. Heal and enjoy reality
Fab chat, thank you!
Yes, to never give up! Like giving up is failing!
I sometimes like to sleep to escape reality if things get really tough 😢 does that make me a narcolepsy narcissist?
No, that means you're coping with too much pain. That's where I'm at right now. When you've suffered as many stupid, narcissistic relationships as I have, since birth, sometimes that feels the only way to escape it for a moment.
My favorite time of day, bedtime 😂
i dont feel deprived at all. i dont drink, i dont smoke, and i eat healthy.
I need to heal from a covert, cluster b sociopath
A judge told me it’s what he was
Amazing.
OMG Richard, it's not only delusional. you're living in their delusional fantasy land.
9mons will they come trying to get you back after they did the divorce to take you down! The evil in them! It’s hard to move on especially sharing a child.
Thank you.
✨🕯️‼️💫✨ every word. 🫨🤦🏼♀️ so helpful🤦🏼♀️🪷✨🔨thank you ✨🕯️🐦🔥🪷🔆‼️✨
vampires are real and there are wolves in sheep’s clothing. and I’m listening again and again so I embody it.
And - Much Respect to your cool, pirate grandfather! It’s the quirk in us that lights the world sometimes 🔆 -so loved that story!🕯️✨
😂U are a light ✨ to my funny button ❤ty as well for your education
😂😂😂52:25😂😂😂😂not the happy noise
Haha I just found your video on it thank you
Richard why do you smoke? You’re worth more than doing that to your body. You’re a very smart and handsome man. Your body deserves better.
It's sick It's eaven sicker if it's parents and after you run on same dark shit over and over again.
Thankyou ❤
Thank you!!
I don't understand. I know consciously it wasn't real, I was being used, the person how they presented themselves wasn't real. I processed that pretty quickly, as a matter of necessity. I felt better for doing it. Complete 180. And it's held. Isn't that the shared fantasy? So why do the introjects persist? Maybe it just takes time. Or some other factor too.
The introjects are in the narcissist’s mind about you/their sources of supply. An introject is a false ‘idea/persona’ the narcissist fantasizes in their own mind of who someone is to the narcissist. The narcissist has their own persona/idea of who you are to them and what role you play in them getting narcissistic supply from you. If you don’t match their introject in reality, it upsets them because you aren’t ‘fulfilling your duties’ to the narcissist in the ‘shared fantasy’ they created that includes their introject of you. They met you and then created who they really wanted you to be in their mind and ‘loved’ that version of you as long as they gained narcissistic supply from you.
In some sense, humans can’t face reality, so the shared fantasy space is the human way of interpreting reality so that we feel in control/secure. The ‘introject’ is the narcissist’s idea of you and the role you play in their fantasy that gets them supply.
It is good that you recognize who they presented themselves as to you wasn’t real.
The hardest part for me was facing/dealing with recognizing how their ‘love for me’ wasn’t ever really there. It was all an act, or them pretending, to manipulate me to get supply or give them some form of mental security while they never really ‘loved me’ as if I truly mattered to them.
If you want a deeper understanding of an introject you can search for “Sam Vaknin introject” and it will bring up multiple videos. Sam is a narcissist, a genius, and has written a lot about narcissism. He and Richard used to collaborate but had a falling out/disagreement and went separate ways. It is not discussed by Richard (I respect that) but I still see Dr. Vaknin as a good resource for learning about and understanding narcissism.
I saw your name in the live chat but was interacting with another chatter. I hope this helps.
Cheers 👍🏼
So it's like a tick or a leech
Is it ok to have topics/events/feelings that you don't want to talk about with anyone?
Ha it's not rocket science. When people emotionally abuse you, you'll internalize their words and behaviour. Ah i still can't quite face it. I know it's wrong and false but it hurt me. Duh. Thanks for the free counselling session doc lol
They have a very small amount of a real ego, instead they constructs false one.
Dang, missed this one. Will way u later. Did want to comment on a very funny video that you posted a while back. Enid you talked about our ancestors and how they did not have time to indulging narcissistic just got to behavior because they were so busy surviving. This was not the case with Stonehenge. That was thousands of years ago and they partake in many extraordinary rituals and celebrations and periods of reflection and thoughts of life and its meaning. Maybe I have my centuries all mixed up. Anyway I'm still struggling I'm still stuck my x x narcissist is still in my brain.
I’m trying to understand why Richard as stated that narcissism is like some one with narcolepsy putting them selfs to sleep?
I suffer from narcolepsy with cataplexy.
I certainly don’t put my self to sleep?
There are sleep hormones in the brain that I no longer produce.
Nothing to do with narcissism.
Please don’t get the two confused. Thank you
now im just wondering if your neighbors are gonna get freaky again😂
a long way from the characteristics of my husband - covert NPD