Exactly true! What is most painfully frustrating to witness is that people are so readily 'taken in' by that pseudo 'niceness' all the while they are being played to satisfy that psychopathic ego...
Mine's my sister, getting old and hystrionic. The more people ignore them, the more dramatic they get. She's falling apart. She stole our inheritiance, and now, she's falling apart, using her children in lieu of our desceased parents as her flying monkeys. They are easily disarmed because they were raised by me. I'm actually having a good time, despite the fact it's difficult to explain common sense things to her via proxy of the monkeys.
@@jennifercooljeo6552 If they have NPD (the clinical definition) then they really cant.. They'll learn to adapt. Fake empathy etc but the truth is that it's a facade. Personality Disorders are rooted in ya, right down to the core. I have BPD - and will for the rest of my life.. seems better then being NPD evil though.
The best way to handle a narcissist (if you can) is to completely disconnect and have no contact. They will find it unbelievable and wounding, but you won’t know because you are gone. Don’t be curious and don’t look back.
3 years ago my ex husband was violently physically attacking me infront of our children. He was yelling at me saying"you better keep your mouth shut and know ur role, before i pull a chris watts on you and those fucking kids" (his kids too) my son called police, got lifetime restraining order and full custody of our children and relocated. He stalked alot until he ended up in jail and we relocated and are in peace
He (narc psycho) almost choked the life out of me in 1989. Slowly over the next 4 to 6 months, I put a little money away each pay cheque, and started packing a few bags and 2 small boxes with my important personal effects. I set out down the freeway out of San Diego one morning after he left for work. I drove off in the rickety old jalopy he bought for me. "It is an antique", he told me. He was some cheap! He bought this old wreck of a car shortly after purchasing an expensive brand new Harey Davidson motorcycle for himself. I drove back to Canada with no licence, no registration and no insurance. I got out with my life. All the "stuff" meant very little compared to my life.
Left the narcissist 7 years ago. Blocked him on all social media, and moved 2000 miles away. Then a month ago I got a pop up FB messenger message from him! As soon as I saw that face in the pop up circle, I immediately swiped it away WITHOUT reading the message, and reblocked him. The next day I received 3 hang up calls in a row from him. Now, THAT'S the real narcissist reacting to my rejection of him!
I was looking back over past emails sent by my brother, a malignant narcissist. On ONE day in April, 2018, he sent 48 emails to his ex-wife copying me. At the time they’d been divorced for over 10 years.
@spilledit in language use when using a singular pronoun the correct pronoun is he. It's not excluding anyone else. It's just the proper use of a singular pronoun.
@hughessignco.7161 that might have been MLA format about 75 years ago. Most narcissists I have come across or heard about first hand, have been fellow women.
I knew some who led their victim into trouble, pain etc. also, some are literally 😈 worshippers and they are very able to do damage in a short time, and convince you nothing happened. They know how to divide the personality.
Stick with your gut and set boundaries. It works..the moment they see you say the word no, they will leave. Also, pay close attention to those who you say no to and watch how they treat you after..those are the narcs. Run for your life.
“No” frustrated my Narc and he did just what Sam is talking about here. He regrouped and became more subtle and then would act irrationally and shut me up and talk over me when I wanted to discuss anything. He eventually started throwing things at me. Because he couldn’t control me, he denied me a separation when I presented him with one. He started punishing me more and more.. I had to wait until he threw something and hit me and then I called the police got to a CPO and am pursuing divorce!
@@mlou7432again a woman pissing off a man to the point where he had to throw something to shut you up. You said it yourself, he threw things but didn't hit you and then you got an idea to do SOMETHING so he can take that extra step. In other words, like 99% of the cases, it's a woman forcing out narcicistic behaviour on a man by using narcicistic means 😂 you can't make this up!! Have no believe in this sort of women and btw there are mostly female narcs so more often than not YOU are actually the narc you are assigning your ex with. 😂😂
They can be really tricky to spot and once you become close enough to them it’s really hard to get out without damage once you realize who and what you are dealing with.
At a certain point in my divorce my lawyer called me in to his office and told me he learned via certain sources that my now ex was asking around to find someone to “hurt” me. I now live three states away, have protection, and know how to use it.
Keep pictures of him. So new friends can Identify him! ( One of my mistakes was wanting to forget him) . If you can, find out if you can get proof, ie; phone recordings, eye witness accounts of his intent. ( I once witnessed my ex. Making a gun pointing jester about wanting to off our son in law! I told him .). Anything you can do to document, document, document! These people don't give up!!
Aside from a pistol and safety training plus target practice I say a trained guard dog and cameras like the ring door cam, cameras in the house and in the car Can never be too safe when it comes to your precious life Have self and situational awareness and never take for granted your intuition and discernment Stay off social media Be careful of who’s in your inner circle Move like Batman
He isn't playing by your rules, when he's quiet be careful. He's not at peace, there's a storm inside. When you feel a dark vibe, believe it. You were given intuition for a reason, and being around a narc heightens it. The saying "It's my world, you're just living in it" captures what you're dealing with. And no, he doesn't think or feel the way you do at all. They choose mild-mannered empathetic people who are easy to control (a people-pleaser like me, for instance, is at great risk. Before I knew it, I had bought him a truck and handed my checks over to him. So bizarre, looking back.) ❤
this is the key to identify a narcissist: "narcissists are incapable of perceiving external objects, they're incapable of conceptualizing the separateness and the externality of objects (...) there is only the internal object, inside his mind, that represents you and he goes on interacting only with the internal object (...)" 08:50 keep this in mind: THEY CAN'T SEE YOU. as soon as someone reacts to you in a way that is incongruent with the happening at hand or says something to you about you that you know has nothing to do with who you are - and if this happens consistenlty - you have a narcissist in front of you. for best results: PLEASE GET TO KNOW YOURSELF so no one can come into your life and start to tell you who you are. what the narcisist says or does has nothing to do with you. it will have to do with you if you interact. this is also why going no contact is the only thing that works. because then they have nothing to interact with. no screen to project.
OK, so glad you mentioned that spoiling and idolizing a child are also forms of abuse. I've experienced first hand the vindictive, malignancy of a man/monster who was idolized, pampered and spoiled by his mommy from birth (and sadly, ignored by his father--neglect another form of abuse). He thinks he is god almighty, and worse, turned to religion to be a pillar of the community but in personal life is a vindictive, cruel, sadistic monster. So many say "oh, they were traumatized as a child", when I think..hmmm such "trauma", being raised as if you were a little Lord, catered to by mommy and maids and nannies. But children quickly become monsters. Give an average 2 year old a gun and then try to take his toy.... without boundaries children grow up to be monsters. And yes, that is abuse to not teach a child to think of others.
Agreed! My ex was NEVER told no by his mother and she saved him from suffering consequences of his actions anytime it was in her power to do so. Not only that but they're very codependent (he's currently 38 so it's weird). For years I went to her for assistance in trying to get him to go to some kind of rehab for his drug abuse and it wasn't until the last year that I realized that she needs him to be sick so she feels needed and can rationalize her over involvement in his life. I fully believe she caused him to become a narcissist which was compounded by his abusive drugs. I eventually had to get a restraining order to protect myself and are 2-month-old baby when I left him recently because the physical abuse started again and was becoming more frequent/worse. The judge took away all his parenting time until he completes 30 domestic violent classes & outpatient rehab but I have little hope that it will help. Now I'm having to file for child custody so we have a long-term plan in place and I'm very afraid of what he will do when things aren't going his way. I comfort myself with the fact that I've done everything that is in my ability to protect myself and where I am currently is safe. Hoping he doesn't come after me because I don't know what he's capable of anymore!
That was my ex husband. Worshipped by his mommy. Could not do any wrong in her eyes whatsoever. Dad beat the daylights out of him and his brother. Brother went on to be an abuser and child rapist and my ex is a narcissistic abuser of women and manipulated his kids against me and used them to control me. I got away several years ago. Best decision I ever made
My damaged psyopath abusers also use religion. God was used as a club to beat me with. Somehow relion becomes very convenient. God protect me from your followers😮😮
Gavin deBecker in his book "The Gift of Fear" (the chapter on domestic abuse alone is worth the price of the book) had a sign on his desk which said "Do not come here for justice." He explained that safety/escape from toxic people is worth more than seeing them pay for what they did. You wanna be vindicated at the cost of your life or wellbeing? I don't. Believe that justice, karma, whatever will come to abusers some other way. If it isn't safe to fight for them to be punished, just get out and enjoy the rest of your life. They'll be miserable, and you'll be free. That will be your revenge.
If anyone has experienced a close relationship with a person as described in this video, it's clear as day. I'm embarrassed to admit I spent 33 years with such a person. I was 19 when they sucked me in. Im now 72 and I'm with a loving, caring person with NO narcissistic tendencies. Even though I wasted the majority of my life on that A-Hole I feel very fortunate to have stumbled into the life I'm in now. I just felt the need to share this because this video is so spot on. Textbook as they say. Thank you
@@mistiery5684 I will be honest, I spent the majority of my life with this person and I think that in my case my beginning menopause had some to do with it. I suppose the extra testosterone that occurs or whatever it was, I found the strength to stand up and stop taking it. There was no physical abuse in my case and I think that's important to consider. When you can stand up to a person who intimidates you as opposed to standing up to a person who physically abuses you are two very different situations imo. From the moment you change, the initial realization from the intimidating/verbal abuser that you are done, I'll just say, it's empowering to you and they are so stunned (again, in my case) they can't believe it's happening. He was speechless. I knew he was scared of what would happen next.
You are defining 100% my own mother. Horrendous woman whom everyone who's met believes she is a wonderful human being. Except me! How she hasn't completely, thoroughly, destroyed me, were I religious, I'd consider it a miracle. I was four when she threatened to kill me and then held a butcher knife over my head, and held it there for a while, all the while scaring me by telling me she was going to abandon me, poison me, etc. And so, at 4 years of age, I started to draw and paint and continued doing so for the rest of my life. Today, I'm an artist and very thankful I took art as my refuge. I doubt if I would have survived if I hadn't.
Finally a writer here that actually points out exactly what happened. Majority are just saying the narc ruined their life but no detail. I understand things when it is broken down bit by bit. I know it sucks to have to spell it out but a lot of people need exact examples to know what to look for. When I was around the same age my mother's boyfriend told me not to open the door for her because he locked her out and said if I open the door for her he would 🔪 her throat 😭 that's when I evaporated into video games and sat with the dog all the time.
YES. I actually thought my narc ex was going to let me go in peace because I had told enough people about how he had abused me, and they were watching. He seemed to be agreeable as we divided up the physical possessions. Then came the day we officially told our kids we were separating, and one by one, they all told me, "We want to live with dad." He had been working behind the scenes, lying and manipulating, planning my destruction. He KNEW I loved those kids more than anything, more than myself. It almost worked; I almost unalived myself. But I'm still here. I left anyway, and I am healing. I feel peace and safety and hope for the first time in my life! I'm learning about boundaries and getting stronger every day. I believe my kids will see the truth one day, because that man cannot pretend to be selfless for long, and raising three kids is demanding work! He also won't admit he's an alcoholic. It's only a matter of time.
Make sure that your kids have a way to contact you AND that they know that you will not punish them for going off with their dad. If they are living with a narcissist they are learning that people punish them for mistakes. So they may believe that you will not want to hear from them even that they wanted to contact again. Also, they are manipulated badly and are afraid to make him angry. So find a way that they can contact you online etc. in some safe way. Or that your number does not change etc. ❤
@@theladyamaltheayour comment was unsolicited. This is the interent don't air your personal business here unless you want people responding. Silly narcissist woman. I think I know why your children chose the house they did
My mother wasn't speaking to me when she died. I refused to be her servant 24/7. I wanted my own life. No one was allowed to have their own life. She came first. I was shocked when I went to her house after she died & saw that she had put up a shrine dedicated to me. But everything was from my childhood. Now that I hear what you're saying about the narcissist, I understand what she was doing- my mother wanted everything restored to how life was when I was a child & under her thumb.
I am no contact with my mother but when she was trying to hoover me she kept referring to me when I was a baby . I'm in my late 50s but I have been reduced to an infant and her memories of that.
That's deep... when you have a narcissist parent it's so easy to spot it in others. I didn't have the proper name for it when I was a kid. I secretly called it "the craziness", I still do... when I spot an inclining of "the craziness" in others, I keep my distance. I'm grateful for that gift but it cost me my childhood to develop that gift which now as an adult it's truly a Blessing ❤
Revenge always means that you are not free. So long as your mind and heart are committed to it, you cannot heal. You’re still completely focused on your abuser. I’ve been in some sick relationships, with predatory partners high in narcissism. They took their revenge, for leaving them, and it hurt both me and my children. We have passed through those storms. How would we want to keep thinking of the person who caused it? The best revenge on a narcissist is indifference.
@@MarcJakob1314 Good question, & the fact that they did this to their children is unforgivable. The pain they caused me was bad enough, but I was an adult, and I could navigate through it, and come to a point where I do not care. But you’re right. What they did to our children is unforgivable.
@@bethmoore7722 you are right, as adults we can deal with our stuff and our choices but sitting back watching and seeing the child suffer, and bot being able to do anything is really the opposite for me of indifference. Courts, child protection and police only do so much.
@@MarcJakob1314 I did not sit back in indifference to what was done to my children. There was no abuse that anyone could help with. I got the attorney general to get back child support, but refused to run them down to my kids, because they needed a father. I knew they’d form their own opinions. Emotional abandonment was the thing I couldn’t prevent them from doing. I could not get them to help me keep the house my kids were growing up in, either, so we lost it. If a man is not paying child support, the AG won’t act quickly enough to keep you from losing everything. This is Texas. You may have heard that they don’t care much for women and children here. I did not “sit back.” Again, my indifference is to my exes’ welfare. I don’t care to take revenge, as it’s pointless. I did not neglect to fight for my children, and I know you did not mean to accuse me of that. I’m the only one who ever fought for them.
As a 17 yr old, I saw my narcissist boyfriend spiraling out of control. Alcohol addiction intensified his "control addiction". I knew I couldn't leave him because he was becoming violent. I had to make him believe it was his decision to break up. It worked, and he broke up with me. I had a year of peace. What I couldn't foresee is how it ate at him for a year. Even with him in other girlfriend relationships. His hate to ruin me ate at him. One summer afternoon, he found me as I walked home from my Aunties house and sweetly offered me a car ride back to my home. It was hot out, hadn't seen him in a year, and thought, what can a quick car ride hurt? My inner gut feeling said "don't do it", almost like I heard my inner voice say, "do not get in that car. " I said, "Holy Spirit, is that your voice?" But, I quickly stuffed it down inside because what I felt vs. what I saw didn't match. His face was smiling, and he looked so carefree and so handsome, and his charm swayed me. After all, people can grow up in one year, and they can change. Right? Wrong! I got in the car. He said, "Let's take a ride to the lake, it's only 20 minutes away." As we got closer to the lake, he started speeding. He slammed on the breaks (and I, not wearing my seatbelt in the 1980s) hit my forehead on the dashboard and then slid under the passamger dashboard onto the floor! Suddenly, he grabbed my long hair, pulled my head to the seat of the car, and announced he was going to kill me. He proceeded to tell me how. He said, "If I can't have you, nobody can!" I prayed for police to see his speeding car as he drove thru city streets at break neck speeds running thru red traffic lights. I attempted to jump out at one intersection, but was yanked back in. No police came.😢 I turned my face to the passenger window, started praying silently, then out loud, then I started singing the children's song, "Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to him belong they are weak, but HE is strong! Yes, Jesus Loves Me...." Then suddenly, the car started to slow, his hold on my hair released. He started crying. From his profile, I saw the tears running down the side of his face. Staring straight ahead, he stopped the car. He let me out of the car. I never showed any emotion to him. I cried once inside my home, I was thanking God for my life and heavenly intervention. I was so damaged from that relationship that it took me a long time to date again and trust anyone. I dove into Psychology classes, in college, in my attempts to understand his personality disorder. As a wiser person, I married a very special man who won my heart. We have been married for 35 years. I have spoken to my kids, family, and friends about narcissists and their modus operandi. About looking for relationship red flags and to never, ever be fooled into thinking you change them. You can't. I appreciated your talk today. It brought up so many experiences with a Narcissistic ex-boyfriend. I share my story as a learning tool for others. If your gut feeling says something is wrong, do not be deceived by what your eyes see.
Thank goodness you got out. I also worked out that I had to let him break up with me. I had been saying no to a lot of things and he was also extremely jealous about me getting a better job. We had long break and came back together as friends.who still cared about each other. Just recently he has been pulling away and finally told me he wants to be alone. When I listen to Sam it makes so much sense
But you did believe what you saw, because he was smiling. That's what they do, they mask their true selves and intentions. They are complete nasty, evil, monsters
I confronted my Narcissist mother and BPD father for their poor parenting and about setting boundaries around my kids. My father raged then went passive aggressive and silent; my mother, on the other hand, fawned during the argument and has been extremely “nice” with lovebombing etc. it’s her that I’m worried about because she’s capable of long term planned revenge and has a sadistic side. Yikes!
They are criminals! They think they're smarter than anybody else, better & entitled to what ever they want no matter who it belongs to. Imagine a club of them, a gang where they all have this in common? Bonded. Protecting each other.. They exist.
@@yamisomad3486..me too they tried killing me in 2015 and was màking an attempt too this past july ...the gang çonvinces through fear gang stalking drugs and monitary things too send people too do there dirty work ...i rebuke the evil plàns of satan in yashuwahs name
This happens. Narcissism is deeply rooted in human nature, and there has been a virtual explosion of it. They will try to rob you of everything that you valued in yourself. They cannot do this alone, they must enlist doctors, lawyers, close friends who can help them, and yes, even your own friends and family. They truly are the evil ones. Realize it. Then move forward and survive.
@@shirley9066 It is frightening, isn’t it? Imagine who could “gang up” on you during, for instance, a divorce proceeding. You would have a really tough go of it.
A narcissist have an interpretation in his mind of who you are, when he talks he is talking to that puppet in his mind that represents you to him, he does not speak with you the person there outside of him in the physical world, and if the real you does not do what his internal representation of you is supposed to do then he must punish you for not complying with his internal image of you. Most of it is going on in the inside of his mind and he can not/will not perceive you as a person or human being. This WILL NOT CHANGE, so if you want your freedom then no matter what get away.
I got chills from watching this video. I clicked on it because of the thumbnail showing the Watts family. My narcissistic ex fiancé wanted to watch American Murder : the Family Next Door the day before he discarded me. Which I thought it was odd because we had watched it a few months earlier and he doesn’t like these kind of shows. I strongly feel it was some kind of threat or him saying “this is what is going to happen to you”. He was physically violent once during the relationship where he showed no remorse, and now I’m understanding he probably went into borderline - psychopathic mode. I’m very happy I didn’t marry this man, I think it could have ended in a tragedy.
My mother loved to read or watch murder mysteries. Her anxiety would build up over days and I'd come home to her icy hard stare, her tightly drawn lips and her stiff robotic posture. I'd know she would erupt at some point and blame me.
I’m over joyed to hear of your self and situational awareness, intuition, discernment and grounding You are alive today because of it Never lose that ☝🏾
My ex Narcissist used to say "jokingly" he hadn't killed me....yet. I even had a cpl nightmares of lying in a dirt hole and him standing above the hole holding the shovel. Also of him trying to strangle me in another nightmare. I feel these were my true fears as well as omens. His eyes were dark and so was his energy. He thought I was stupid years ago being sad for Shanan Watts because he believed Chris Watts was innocent. I'm glad I usually ran from that ex and only wasted a cpl months a year with him But for far too many years!!!! Never had someone make me so sad and mad. Glad I didn't marry mine either! And glad I haven't fallen back to old habits in years and that is all behind me. Happy New Year to all of the Survivors of this NPD abuse. It truly is a beautiful life when we are far away from these sick sorts.
I was married to a very cunning narcissist that was groomed by her mother. Unfortunately it didn't work with me... She died of stubbornness but left a legacy of hate in the children. I cut the children off completely. That's after 28 years. Now I am tired and over cautious. I became a hermit... These things do damage you.
Thank you for saying that you became a hermit because of the abuse. I was raised by a narcissist and have an older sister who is also a narcissist. After a lifetime of being attracted to narcissists at 80 years old, I finally know that being reclusive with my two cats is the only way to find peace in my life. I can now look forward to my last years without being so horribly abused. I wish you the same peace.31:19
I make lots of effort to not be a hermit. I finally found and Old Timey Methodist church full of sweet old, old-fashioned (not religious nuts)people and couldnt be happier!
This is why I refuse to take food offerings from my ex and her family. I also keep a close eye out for being followed. When they found out I had a brain tumor they all begged me to subscribe to their group life insurance policy. My ex ended up leaving after my 4th surgery and I called her out after reading her private journal which noted all of her narcissistic tendencies and shame. When I confronted the truth I witnessed the rage and withdrawal I was immediately discarded. Pray for me and my kids !
🙏 🙏 🙏 May God's presence sustain you, and may God provide, and protect you. I'm sorry for your pain, both physical and spiritual. God will never leave or forsake you. ❤
I unfortunately live with my narcissistic mom due to disability, but in December she cooked stuffed peppers without any prompt from me. I didn't eat it right away even though I accepted it. I put it in the fridge and ate it later. Three bites in and the bite was moldy. It was food she had prepared that day, but it was one stuffed pepper that had mold deep inside the stuffing. When I told her what happened she became irate angry and gaslit me. Weird response to my experience that came off as a guilty response. To cause me harm because revenge and control is what matters most. Not the health safety and well being of her disabled middle aged daughter. This week she started to buy me junk food id never asked for and insisted I eat it even though due to health problems I've specifically have informed her how important it is for me to eat healthier foods that aren't processed. So she actively ignore my wishes tries to poison me and actively sabatoges my efforts to be healthier. And she also ignores my request and boundary to not bring up how my body looks if I'm slimming down or how clothes look on my body because I realized that's all directly linked to me having a binge eating disorder. So is her constantly giving me the mom look at family functions. She'd glare at me to shame me because I'd picked up the habit of turning to food so I didn't have to interact with family members that traumatized me as a child. I was forced to play nice with my abusers and was blamed for what happened to me that I had never asked for and was held down against my will while I screamed and cried no and was told I asked to have knives thrown into the floor at my feet. I didn't ask for that and I didn't get help for that incident even though I started acting out cynically. That was a cry out for help that a normal mom would have recognized, but not my mom I was instead neglected and got a sarcastic quip about being optimistic. I was 27 before I learned the meaning of optimistic. I need to find a way out of this or I'll die. So that's going to happen eventually
@@Sarah-with-an-HSounds so similar to my life too… so sorry you're dealing with this. I packed my car with my belongings and drove to the other side of the country without telling anyone. That was my only way to escape. I was 32 years old at the time. Unfortunately before I knew about narc abuse I decided to come back bc I wanted to "make things right". I had healed & felt better than I ever knew was possible & thought I could somehow make things great between us! Mother & daughter best friends. I imagined all kinds of things like we could go get manicures & pedicures together, we could talk & laugh about everything. It'd be great! Not only did this never happen, but, over time, she has chewed me up & ruined my relationship with any family members & many things I'm trying to forget about & just move on from this Lent, & sadly I'm in a worse mess than before. I am planning another escape except that this time I never come back. She is 85. I am 43. She has had her thumb on me my whole life, but I started going to church & after finding Jesus I feel a freedom & strength like never before. As though it's a DUTY to leave & live a good life. I hope you too can find a way out… Clue #1: Keep ALL plans 100% secret bc a narc has minions everywhere to tell her everthing she needs to know. I learned that the hard way multiple times. Clue #2: Act normal & don't do or say anything out of the ordinary. When she's gone that's when you grab your bags & leave. Otherwise she will use every tactic to stop you whether through mental manipulation or by calling in the minions. Mine uses family AND neighbors as her personal minions! Nevermind to all my belongings… just gotta save what little may be left of my life. Check out Bob Wells UA-cam channel… can start out living in a vehicle if need-be. Where there's a will to live, there's a way.💝
I walked away from a marriage with nothing-not even my car- although he had millions. The shock of trying to survive such a person and having to leave with nothing has affected my life and not easy to recover and thrive.
As someone who is a mental health professional and a survivor of narcissistic abuse, I have never heard a more detailed and accurate account of the cycles the narcissist constantly goes through, and puts those around them through. Thank you for this video, it confirmed exactly what I witnessed but could not find literature on. Excellent video 👍🏻👍🏻
My 1st narcissist blind sided me. Then was murdered a few months after we split. 2nd narcissist almost got into my life, but after going through it once, I started to notice all the red flags still took a few weeks to really understand this is indeed the situation. My 2 cents burn those bridges fast and bright. They say you can't win no win narcissist games, but it's a win if you figure it out and get out before you get invested. Interesting video. I watch these types of videos rarely now, but it's worth it once and a while to retain knowledge.
@violettabicycletta331 it is happening as we speak. Four 😢 elected officials. And in my hometown. How they got elected? Charmed the citizenry. One is a teacher and knows everything. And she's a teacher. And the other repairs the roof of an African American church and the members vote him in office. The others are same. Smiling 😍 and challenge them? Tgey 😮 get pissed. Their mask falls.
My parents idolised one grandchild , spoilt only that one , told they deserved more than mother giving etc they were special .... that child is totally sociopathic and narcissistic and other grand kids have self esteem issues ...( all adults now)
Also over neglecting them!! because if they loss that love as a child it leaves a void in their hearts and now they have to fill that void with you (supply) and its a never ending cycle. Using everyone up and throwing them away to get that love and attention that they missed out on!
Yes, that statement was confirming of how children can so easily become narcissist/ic can happen so easily these days with working parents and them having to have other parental influences involved, one is hard and accusing one is encouraging and firm etc there can be so many scenarios.
I honestly just thought that kids who are spoiled just end up privileged big brats. Throwing the victim card out all the time. But now being in it.. wow their tantrums are like bulls in a China store and you do not want to be in their path. I was dumbfounded. Coming out of DV at least I knew how to handle it. Shut up, don't move and just observe. When they get close.. be ready to defend.. like your life counted on it. So happy I'm out of it now. Bc they just get worse, not better. It seems they always have addictions too. To detach from real life and continue living in their fantasy made up world of victimhood.
My ex's mother had him when she was 15. His father abandoned him and his mother didn't raise him, she was too busy with her own life. As a result, his grandparents overcompensated and he knew he was the favourite. He's the most evil person I've ever come across
Demonic is how I would sum up that woman labelled mother. Since I was a child I've always felt she would kill me. Now as an adult her obsession creeps me out to the core it truly feels like a predator. Unfortunately narcissism and borderline personality is common in NZ particularly in polynesian culture it is dismissed by the government for funding. DHB's don't get funding so most patients are misdiagnosed as substance abusers.
Dude, sooooo much in common if ever we were to chat. I recently had a supposed “professional” directly disbelieve me about some critical NPD things happening.
i was fostered in nz by a narcissistic mom .. she discarded me once i was an adult .. she fostered me and my sister for the attention it gave her as a savour
After 31 years with a narcissist wife, I have left her, and started a nomadic lifestyle. I have found that I too have become somewhat narcissist. Living alone out in nature has helped me t🎉become more of myself, the real me. The sad part is I still have my gard up around people. So, I still have a lot of work to do on myself. The good news is I nonger feel the hatred I had.
@@movingsaudade6028 The number one is, I can screem at someone without asking why they are doing something I think is stupid. I often find out that they have a good reason for what they're doing and then I feel like such a low life. You would think I would learn from it, but I do it again to the next person. I am getting better but I have a long way to go. Before I was married, everybody had a clean slate.
@@kennethgardner3090sir you have PTSD. It takes time and a lot of tears. If you get this, please talk to me. I'm considering doing the wilderness thing. I would love to talk to you. I have been taken completely down. Honestly I'm running out of time to get things together
@@endtimesnavigation864 I don't know about contacting you, that's one of my problems. I will say I tried to get everything together myself. At one point last May, I just took off. I wish you the best. You will meet other full-timers and they can be a great asset to you. Because I'm new I am still learning myself.
I attract narcissists, because I am one from coming from one. We were traumatized, and remain in reactive state. I have to regulate every single day but at least my psyche is my own, of my own. Good luck to you. There is good in ego, do the shadow work and see.
I almost self destructed trying to take care of my raging narcissistic mother and my enabling father when they were in their 90’s. It’s difficult to imagine a mother who is jealous of her daughter and doesn’t care about her daughter’s suffering that she is causing. Later in life, my mother was cruel and as mean as a junk yard dog. She didn’t just dominate humans, she dominated animals. She used to break in horses when I was two-years-old. When I took care of my parents, I was working full- time and barely existing. Thank God I found a therapist who saved me. After my father died, my mother died of COVID. She never apologized and never said she was wrong-ever! What a legacy!
I lived everything you speak of for many years. Its absolutely life altering for the whole family. I never knew there was a name for what I had devoted so much time to of myself. I loved him he could be so good and when it was bad now that I've awakened realize it was very damaging to my son's & myself. He was convicted October of 2023. The journey after 28 yrs to find myself and repair my immediate family has been a true experience. The hardest reality is no one understands what I'm feeling, I painted him perfect, I stayed silent to everyone my family members, his family and co workers yet my home life anything but comfort. Sleepless nights, catoring to his needs even while he raged apologizing to him for his behavior the list is extensive. I appreciate these videos makes me understand who I was up against. Strange thing is I don't hate him I was afraid of him. Its guilt and shame & anger with myself I'm experiencing for not recognizing and standing up to him sooner. I could make every excuse why I overlooked or made excuses for him. Most of all he was a father, grandfather, brother, uncle. First and foremost a person I did no matter how horrific loved him. The complexity of how he could manipulate everything by the time id had been removed from my home I couldn't speak I did not know what day it was he'd left me unconscious. These days I'm ok, this healing journey is real. The discussions with my adult children often pains my heart yet now I can listen without defending him. So damaging all of this narcissistic behavior. One day I hope when someone asks me about my experience I can share it and maybe I can't save everyone but I'd hope it would help someone. Thank you for sharing. Its so deeply profound 💜💜💜❤️🙏
Because of my victim mentality for many years I was in situations where I was intimidated or abused or threatened etc. It wasn't until I stood up for myself that these things changed and I no longer call those experiences to me. It's easy to judge when you're on the outside but once you're inside of a situation like that it takes on a totally different feeling. You can't see the way out because you're so afraid of the what if. Once you stand up for yourself. it doesn't make things perfect, but it is the beginning.
Learn the DARVO technique!!I’ve been there before many moons ago. Work hard on yourself & learn about the tactics these fruit loops use. You’ll get to the point where I am. I see them as nothing but pathetic empty losers.
@@rebeccabrown251 - You’ve got that right!! That’s been the toughest part going through my recovery from severe Narcissistic abuse. When I would “try” to explain some things that I experienced all of my family & friends looked at me like I had 6 eyeballs. I’ve since stopped. It’s been incredibly difficult and frustrating. So, YES… if you haven’t been in this situation before you will NEVER understand. Ever.
I left my husband, taking my 2 daughters with me, when it became to obvious to deny that he meant us harm. That was 35 years ago and thank God I did. My family (narcissists all) were on his side, thinking he was too good for me, and would have covered for him for sure. When he remarried, I let him know if anything happened to his new wife I would call the police.
@@4GIVENhealWHAT??? THIS MUST BE A TROLL. WHO IN A SANE MIND FORGIVE A NARCISSIST? IF YOU SAY I FORGIVE YOU TO A NARCISSIST, WATCH THE SMILE COME OVER HIS/HER FACE AS SHE PREPARES TO ATTACK YOU AGAIN. YEAH, YOU'RE A TROLL.😂 😢😂
My ex wife is a narcissist, and our relationship finished because of emotional abuse (toward me), hiding of family finances (by her) and I suspect that she was also having an affair. I’m also convinced that she was planning serious harm to me near the end of our relationship. It didn’t happen thanks be to God, but through the ensuing divorce I did lose everything! So she achieved extreme financial/psychological/emotional harm to me in the end, but I’m still sure she also meant physical harm. At the time of our breakup I had a conversation with the local police and asked them to note it in my record. I then told my ex wife what I had done so there would be a record ‘should anything happen to me’. She mocked me for my action, but had I not done that then it’s possible I may not be here today.
That 'gut feeling' is what saved your life too...She sound like, SHE needed a Blanket party in the woods, with Louisville slugger ball bats; and the batters all were wearing masks, give her back 100% every scary hurt that twit dared to give to you. You cannot be afraid of those brainless and heartless Robotic demons, strutting about in human skin. YOU are better than she will ever become. because SHE knows it, deep down, she. is . nothing, without a screen to reflect on.
My ex husband did this to me, he was paranoid and vindictive, he went through this phase when I thought he was being agreeable after a horrible event, then he turned psychotic and had everything planned and plotted to financially take revenge on me, for daring to stand up for myself against his abuse.
@@nancyperkins2277 My younger brother and narc daughter conspired to steal insurance money from me when a family member died that left me the money but they can have it Karma will catch up to them.
This happened to me because I was winning with logic and without violence. My parents in turn put false charges on me and put the story in the local newspaper. I completely checked out of the local area I grew up in and just commute to another city to work. They drooped the charges on me but the damage was done and my so called inner circle took their side.
After years with no contact, he started showing up in my yard and screamed nonstop throughout the day, saying terrible lies for everyone to hear. People called police but he wouldn’t stop. Restraining order didn’t stop him. The judge couldn’t stop him. He came at me with his car. His courtroom antics were pathetic. The judge ordered him to stay away from me but he continued to stalk. I left town. I know he’ll show up again.
Research anti stalking laws and move where they are strongest... that is my best advice. Personally i also invested in extensive security cameras, and almost never use social media like facebook. A VPN would be a good idea as well. I pray you never have to deal with him again.
@@AliciaGuitar I did get several cameras, stopped the social media but the cops seem corrupt everywhere I move to and couldn’t care less about what men do to me or my property. my new men neighbors are the local drug dealers and are upset that i don’t do drugs. my car has taken most of their abuse but they have approached me several times not in nice ways. the cops buy their drugs off them. the cameras did seem to stop them for now.
@@merry8092 I'm going thru this right now with my own 40 yr old daughter I want her out my life she follows me, has hacked my phone and internet and computers she has even broken into my home several times and I have filed restraining orders, and police reports and so far nothing has worked. I'm going to sell my home and dissapear because I fear for my safety. the police and courts are no help they only work once the person murders you.
When I finally told the woman who gave birth to me that I never want any contact with her as long as either of us live, she hired 2, men who came to my house and destroyed all my landscaping. I feel like this was a message from her saying “if you don’t do as I say, this is how far I’ll go.” I’ve tried to make police reports several times but they refuse to even look at my photo/video evidence.
@empressb1107 VIDEO, AUDIO< get a ring camera installed outside the front of your home, in trees, and in your back yard. Get safety windows installed; if you have natural gas lines, have them regularly checked; and if now, also have your heating checked and documented IF anything is found to be, 'suspicious looking.' Get to know your neighbors, and ask them to also help keep you safe by reporting to you, IF there are ANY strange things going on in the neighborhood; or, unknown vehicles driving by too slowly, to be considered, random. NO matter what, keep track, and record it, anytime she or anyone calls and harasses you; and THEN? Instantly make a Police Report of THIS, and any and all suspicious behaviors, by her or anyone she sends after you.
I was close to becoming deleted by my ex. He was a narcissist and also a psychopath. If you try to physically oust such a person from your life the odds are they will not leave. The new fear that they will lose you and whatever you stand for in their mind can be the trigger for them to go to extremes. This person poisoned me while I was pregnant in order to get me under his physical control. His increasingly erratic behavior eventually clued me in before my health completely failed and I could escape though not easily as he was watching me like a hawk. I moved 1000 miles away in order to feel somewhat safe. By the time I had toxicology results and expected law enforcement to finally move on the case the DA in that county/state thought the case was too hard to prove and prosecute so there was no legal justice. I found out he had become increasingly unhinged and paranoid after I left. To this day I'm not sure if he wanted to kill me and then claim my assets or just keep me under control. Sometimes to break away from such a person you must leave nearly everything material behind, even a home you own. Years later he was still slandering my reputation to other people with completely outrageous stories and bizarre accusations. He passed away a couple years ago, it was only then that I felt completely safe that he would not show up at my door one day to finish me for "abandoning" him.
Chris Watts was also poisoning Sha'nann in the weeks or months before he annihilated his family. He said he was trying to cause a miscarriage, but I think he was trying to end her along with the fetus. It is documented that she had some weird sick spells here and there and was especially unwell the days before the murders. Chris said it was oxycontin or oxycodiene or something like that. I don't remember the exact name of the narcotic he was using to cause an overdose but he definitely did that.
While seeking revenge on a narcissist may be a tempting thought, it's essential to consider healthier alternatives for your own well-being. Channeling energy into personal growth, building a support system, and focusing on positive aspects of life can be more fulfilling. Revenge often perpetuates a cycle of negativity, whereas rising above and thriving independently becomes a powerful statement. Taking the high road not only protects your mental health but also serves as a testament to your strength and resilience.
Thank you for this video. My ex had weight issues when he was younger and everytime we went to dinner, if he overate, he would be in a sour mood and be silent on the entire drive back from the restaurant. He wouldn't say anything back if I asked something. If I tried touching him, he'd violently throw my hand off of him. It was so uncomfortable because I was confused. I realized later on that maybe he was frustrated because he overate. That was the least of our issues though. He would get frustrated so easily by the smallest things in life that I always worried if we were ever to have kids, he would give them depression because he would expect perfection even though he is far from it. Yet his mask outside makes him look as though he lived a perfect life inside. Not even close.
My ex-husband did this with the help of his friends. I lost my career, I had a severe mental breakdown...this video is making me see so many events from a different lens. He would give through the "normal" brooding state often and would explode with anger ....I was never good enough, pretty enough...he always separated me from his friend group. And there were always fights so he would have an excuse to go drinking/partying with his friends. I'm glad we're divorced. I fear that I will not be able to rebuild my life because of how much betrayal trauma and cptsd I am working through. I'm grateful for the peace I have now. I wasn't perfect...I have my own faults...I often question if I am the narcissist...very often ...these videos help me to ground myself again.
I had several people in my family plot to get me to give up my custody of my daughter and have me institutionalized. I suppose they were VERY threatened by my going to therapy and getting tratment for ptsd and my disabilities. My little sister (the safe one ❤) told me about their plan and we packed our things and left in the night, as i was urged to do so by my therapists. Ive been so baffled until now. Thank you 😊 Im still scared they are stalking me again. But this really helps.
It's the narcs addiction to tear people apart. The absolute terror of losing a child.and thrown into an institutional would have given the toxic family years of narc supply. Thank God.for.your sister!
I did on my 45th birthday homeless.. best thing I ever did. 😂😂😂 started over in a druggy dump in a tiny box room filled with insects and dirt I remember lying there giggling because I had a plan. Savings investments home exercise good eating new skill set new jobs monk loner stay on track now I’m honed have money very fit strong employed and live in comfort the narc is in America dying off copd illegallyliving with a kkk member in a shack 😂😂😂
I think it matters. Some people can recognize if, they too, hold narcissistic traits. I did. I struggled dealing with a narc.mom and an employer who reflect the same characteristics but then I started to see bits of myself. These talks helped me to pinpoint and work through any ugly narc. tendencies.
Yes I believe me ex is still around and ripping me off every time I buy food, taking anything I have purchased that helps me get ahead or just get by. I'm constantly having to stay home after dark because that's when he strikes, if it's not him it's the pyschotic asses he's got believing I verbally assaulted him when he was the one that tried mentally abusing me,then emotionally and since neither one of those worked he went into physically abusing me. He would threaten me when fighting then suddenly attack me punching, slapping, kicking, hitting me by throwing objects, breaking my belongings, then accuse me of starting it. I got so sick of the bullshit I called him on being a Narcisist,he said I was one of course and now I have to watch my back constantly because he's out there stalking me and I hope going to jail soon for the physical abuse he put me through weekly for 10 months of hell. It's true, there is a very fine line between love and hate. I'll never trust anyone again, I decided 9 years ago to give up on men, I gave him a chance it figures the first man I get serious with turns out to be a covert violent Narcissist. Never again. I know the signs now and will never fall for the love bombing again..EVER!!
Heartbreaking to read the hell you have been put through, and still experience. But most heart wrenching is to hear your determination to never trust another man. As a woman who has also been betrayed by more than one of them, I still feel like I want to tell you that after having sworn off men at one time, I ran into one who was the best human being I ever knew. Fourteen years of love is what ensued after we met, and had prostate cancer not taken him, I believe we would still be living in a loving, rewarding life while each supported the other's dreams. I should have spoken more about how adamant I had been about NEVER trusting another man...I assure you, I was 100% determined! Yet...SO...just wanted to let you know life can be very strange, and that there ARE actually good, trustworthy men out there. I pray one will come into your life. Blessings to you dear.
Thank you. For reminding me that going after my victims rights in a pragmatic manner is healthy. As a victim, I’m often called the psychopath for having a reaction to abuse, (or a non reaction: Depending on what he’s looking for.) and especially now for not obeying and being submissive. I am scared for my life… but I can’t continue to be abused. I can’t.
lots of love and light that you find your way out and into a healthy, beautiful life free from narcissistic abuse!! Stay strong and give yourself lots of self care!!!
Compensation? Money is a major source of supply for them. That would be a extreme injury and revenge trigger. Better to forget about money and choose sanity.
Your insight always help Sam. The one thing I cant ever seem to grasp the concept of is why does the narc embark on this destructive and deadly goal of someone who truly cares for them and even understands they suffer from a psychological or personality disorder that they may deny, but can't disagree that they've been show love and mercy. Why does that individual deserve such a ruthless revenge in their eyes. Why not just walk away? Don't try to intentionally destroy or harm to the point of no recovery for that person....no full recovery, as before they mistakenly fell for the narc love bombing and naive acceptance that he's just a normal human being with imperfections, but a human with ability to understand humanity and humane actions versus inhumane. They are inhuman and ruthless for no reason and destroy good natured and big hearted people who have and would never act out to bring them intentional pain and hardship even though they deserve it.
My narcissistic ex stalked me for 5 years., he was CrAZy!!!!!! He scared me more times than I can count…his obsession with me was incredibly toxic and affected me negatively for a lot longer than I care to admit. I still look over my shoulder whenever I leave the house. I’m thankful that he finally moved on and has left me alone (for the most part for the last few months). He promised he’d kill me if he ever saw me with another man. His eyes when he said that to me were evil, that’s the only way to describe it. His actions have scarred me for life. And I find myself looking very differently at all men; including the love of my life. I need help moving on from the traumatic experiences that man put me through so I can have peace and a normal relationship.
Arm yourself by any means necessary. Do whatever is necessary to put the fear of God into him from coming around. Hell, he’s most likely already defamed your character. Who cares if he calls you names, 🖕him. Stand your ground. Don’t bluff. Protect yourself!!! Don’t give him anymore power. He wants you to fear his pathetic a$$. They’re losers. I speak from experience. ❤
@@NopeNotTodaySatan I also, speak from several 'experiences...My advice to ANYONE going through such hardships right now...Go NO CONTACT. But DOCUMENT any and EVERYTHING for your Lawyer, for your own peace of mind, 'cause Gaslighting is REAL. Tangible PROOFS, be they, written, audio or video or all three, are some of the ways YOU can restore others trust in you, that the N tries SO hard to destroy. And Embrace your freedoms...LIVE your LIFE, for YOU. If you have Children? Make certain THEY too, get any mental help that can squash the N's, long arm reaching destructive behaviors, as well as become a LEGAL form of Documentations to protect your Children from past, current, and future behaviors of the N. NEVER DOUBT IT. THIS IS a GAME to the N. One they are SO confident, THEY will win. SO you have to throw away and BURN your Nice Person Rule Book you were raised on, and GET. REAL. THEY WILL and CANNOT EVER, CHANGE. However? YOU can! Start with baby steps, and quickly work your way upward, out of the hole you dug yourself to 'hide in.' ASAP? Change ANY 'current' Visitations, to NC for YOU with , or around them; and make it so THEY have to go to a heavily supervised Visitations schedule. DO NOT FOLD ON THIS! STAND STRONG FOR YOUR CHILDREN and THEIR FUTURE! STAND STRONG FOR YOURSELF. Once their 'Court appointed ONLY, Visitation time is up for said visit; and they have fully driven away from the building, ONLY then, do you show your face and pick up your kids. NEVER drive there, or away from the building, on the same route ever. Always be aware of your surroundings. It's hard, but unless you are willing; and able to gain full physical custody, do you legally LEAVE the STATE, and start over theirs and your lives, away from past and current dangers, and any further harms. Teach them how to LIVE Life, especially for those out there, (the people and the children, IN THE MILLIONS, who no longer have one; due to the selfish, jealous ways, of their deadly Narcissist. I thought the Painting outlet was awesome! Mine is, and always has been Writing it all out, in Fan fic's and Original Stories; Lyrics, and Poems. These two Hobbies, are GREAT OUTLETS in mentally dealing with emotional Abuses from the Past, Present and Future, until YOU figure out, how to R U N! (safely, as FAR away as you can get) Once I discovered Wattpad, there I met some cool people and have enjoyed sharing this pastime with numerous others; as well as being a 'cautionary TRUE STORY' by sharing with and giving 'going there' proofs to others, as well as ALWAYS cautioning others, with practical ways, to stand back up, and keep keeping on, so they too, will have something to compare or contrast, and not feel so alone. Back before ANY Social Media had been created, Isolation was such a brain killer! Body numbing horror! Isolation is one of the N's favorite tools in their 'Crazy Bag' of 'Gonna kill your MIND TRICKS' and IF you had paid close attention to the person whom you once trusted; looking back on it all, you can NOW easily see, HOW the PROOF, of the formerly invisible lines of that forced matrix existence, they once kept you tied up in.
This is a great video for anyone dealing with narcissists at work or in your friends and family circle. Took me til I was about 30 to realize my whole family were either covert narcissists or were enabling those narcissists. Since Im the black sheep, everyone wants to target me and blame me for the problems in the family.
One Black Sheep to another...IT NEVER ENDS. It is up to you, to pick up your inner child, and hug it. Thank it for protecting you; and now, it is YOUR turn to protect it. Listen to your inner child more. IGNORE the voices on the outside, of the evil, Soul and energy stealing N's surrounding you. DO not give ANY of them fuel. Re connect with your Gut, aka your second Brain. Take care of your dietary health, 'cause YOu are the only YOU, ya got. Re connect and forgive and ask forgiveness to your your: ID EGO and SUPER EGO, as next to the inner child, are the CORE, of YOU. NOT the false self one THEY wanna see you as, the N has tried to create and construct through intimidations, real threats, and physical and mental and spiritual warfare, all of your life. They are jealous, and cruel ROBOTS with no brain. No Heart and zero empathy and devoid of ALL of the Loves, especially Agape and Familia. YOU are STRONGER than YOU give yourself Credit for. Every day, show yourself, a healthy does of Vitamin L, LOVE, by saying 10 kind things, and having 10 sweet thoughts about, YOU. LIVE your Life, don't let the PAST define, YOU, 'cause ONLy YOU know YOU best. Look at a full length mirror, and re introduce yourself to YOU. And to your emotions as you climb out of your necessary mental hole, where YOU have been hiding from the N's. Reassure yourself, YOU are SAFE, and how NOW, is 100% okay to: 😁🤣🤗🥰😍 EXPRESS YOURSELF, IN YOUR OWN WAY! Do something nice for a stranger like paying a Toll for a car behind you...Sharing a Magazine or the newspaper with a neighbor. Get on a Volunteer List at your Church, or a local church to assist in handing out meals for people who cannot drive to a Soup Kitchen; during the holidays, just smile, and also find a way to give of your time to DO, the ONE thing, any N will call you 'stupid and gullible. for even wanting to do' and help total strangers, who are probably 'faking their needs' anyways... YOU, are Better than the N. YOU have Empathy, and YOU can process and create Empathy and honest Sympathy for others, no matter their current plight, YOU know better. Change can happen, and then good things follow :)
The narcissist will never let others see with a truly are. They take out their abuse on their partner behind closed doors. When family comes to visit, they morph into the perfect husband and father. It’s quite amazing.
You can get some home improvements done with that trick. Tell them a member of their family to come visit, and they'll try to spruce up the dump they made of the house with their tantrums. I got some nice booksheves using that ploy.
My daughter was married to a narcissist for over 10 years . He promised he would ruin her life for ever and goodness me he’s trying in every way he can. Thank god she got away even if he still won’t leave her alone now with threats. And yet somehow he manages to convince everyone he is the victim and a lovely man. I just don’t understand how he does it.
Absolutely no conflict, no communication, you have to disappear from their lives and just hope they find another target. Silence is golden. Become boring. I'm sorry you're going through it.
@@di_decaire Yep. Drowning them in mentally tangible, Full on, "Indifference" from YOU, is their Kryptonite! 🤯 It simply blows their 🤖robotic minds; as they NOW, simply cannot compute the 'simple to YOU only those: where's; how's; whys; and when's, YOU stopped worshiping the ground they walked on! HOW VERY DARE YOU, TO FULLY ESCAPE and cut those marionette strings! HOW VERY DARE YOU, to ACTUALLY WANT, LET ALONE ACHIEVE YOUR OWN LIFE;, MAKE NEW FRIENDS, AND TRY NEW THINGS; GET AND MAINTAIN YOUR OWN, SENSE OF SELF! 🤣😂😅😆😁
Thank you for making me aware of my own narcissistic traits! I used to blame everyone around me for all my problems until I finally decided to take responsibility for my own actions! Delighted to announce that I am no longer a victim but a victor! Praise God! A family that prays together stays together!✝️🕊️❤️
We all have narcissistic tendencies. rememb,er that identifying your issues and wanting to be the best person you can be and being accountable for yourself is a lot different than "blaming".✌
Congratulations on your success! Keep up the good work and remember to always self-reflect. That's the key. Brightest blessings to you and your family! 😊
Thank you for generously sharing your knowledge. During the holidays I noticed the narcissist's behaviors can be worse, so I consider your good talk today as a public service/safety announcement 🙏 From what I have experienced it (relationship) gets worse. They get worse. I gave too many chances. It took me a long time to break out of my denial to see the patterns and escalation. I finally made a plan. I had to leave quickly, quietly, and won't EVER look back like Lot's wife did!
Yes!!! Why is it they screw up EVERY holiday, and for days???! Including your birthday. I reconciled with mine..I really got duped after being no contact for 1 1/2 years.. all a sudden he says God really did a number on him and he's not the same person he was... thank God, you'll see.... he cloaked..I messed up. He is less intense than before, but still the same cycles...attitudes, looks... all. Just in a less intense level, so far, but only remarried since last Sept....I knew on wedding night it was a no go that way, and on way home from honeymoon we were already fighting, he got stupid!!! I was sick with a UTI.... Don't think it will be long, 1st time it was 10 months, it won't be that....
I appreciate all the self aware narcissists I've been following. I spent age 20-40 trying to figure out what was happening. I wasn't even allowed to watch youtube probably bc he knew I could acquire knowledge.
They are aware of what they are doing and constantly live in fear of being found out so I have no doubt your narc did not want you acquiring knowledge. I hope you are safe and happy now.
THE world expert on NPD. Many of his videos list his credentials. He “owns”, holds, the vast majority of credentials that exist on NPD, author, medical boards, papers , original studies, honorary chair board's , etc. No one comes close to his knowledge, insight, research, work, ability to teach on NPD 9professor) and more. He’s beyond genius. Professor Sam Vaknin is a work of art. And, no, I don’t idolize him. I respect and honor him, even though he’s a narc and a few opinions that he’s expressed which I don’t agree with. His work is THAT important. He is the only narc I will EVER respect or honor.
The narcissist father of my children is soon 83 and is nearing the end. He has abandoned eight children. Three of them are mine. Only one of the daughters and one of our sons are there for him. He had the nerve to fire the maid/caretaker the two siblings hired. Then they found him passed out on the floor for who knows how long. Won’t go to a care facility. He just can’t stop trying to be in control. You are SO right on every point.
@@punkinhoot Your name says it all. Your contribution is not appreciated since you’ve not all the facts. Things beyond your ken, darling, requiring some life experience.
why would you ever trust a man that had already abandoned other children? did you think you were special or something. some somen need to be legally sterilized. shame on you for having kids with him in the first place.
This video so accurately describes my last relationship that it seems almost impossible that such a coincidence could exist. I was listening while cleaning my house and very early on stopped dead in my tracks and sat frozen listening to the remainder of the video……I just don’t understand how this could be.
Satan has many demons but one goal. It sounds similar because Satan works thru narcissistic people to destroy God's creation. Maybe narcs really have demons inside them. Not human souls
Omg me too! I even commented saying if I didn’t know better, I’d swear he personally knew my ex. Almost what u commented. It’s hard for me to believe that there’s more people as evil as him but I know there is. Stay strong love!
I was raised by a narcissistic father and didn't even know or understand why he acted the way he did. I ended up marrying a narcissist and lived a nightmare for 16 years; now my daughter is married to a narcissist and I worry about her💔
I was in a relationship with a narcissist for 8 years but ended last December when I found out he cheated on me for the whole 8 years. I've blocked him on all social media and I'm finally free
I don't take kindly to someone who wants me to fear them. My fear turns to Anger and that turns me into a deadly weapon. It would turn anyone into a weapon. If you want a fight, fight me yourself, don't send anyone else to fight your battle. Only cowards do that. It's been how many years now ? And I'm tired of being in this survival mode. I'm not running and I'm not hiding. Step up.
Mine didn't realize I got full blown ASPD, BPD is not the only diagnosis, my ability to commit vengeful acts is night and day, cause I will go so much further then anyone else, why do narcs think they are god, GodK😂
Professor,I thoroughly absorbed every word you spoke.You explained my entire 33 years of marriage.I survived this and I am fighting to get myself back.Thankyou from the bottom of my heart
I went to school with people that had (and probably still have) narcissist tendencies. It's amazing that people believed the lies at face value. I cut my losses and went no contact on them. Nowadays? I'm picky on who I let in my sanctuary. Any one who attempts to disturb my peace is out. I will not deal with anything I don't have have to.
revenge takes me nowhere, only a short satisfaction at most. it's better to leave them because one day they might fall into a much worse hands than mine. i've experienced this in the past, more than once. it feels good to not have to do anything about it, but later to just watch as calamity falls upon them. it's way of self-preservation.
This was helpful in understanding my psychotic narcissistic ex husband and the insane escalation of violence including attempted homicide of my son and I when he trapped us in a sealed vehicle parked in the sun. When I pleaded with him to unlock the car, via text he wrote “This will end awfully for you.” I am presently suing him.
Thank you so much for this! It explains exactly what I went through with the covert narc' out of control weekly rages. Will be sending this link to my lawyer in preparation for court. Seeking justice not revenge. The last thing I want is to turn into them.
My narcissist father used to abuse me verbally and physically. I recalled a moment when he beat me up until I fainted, sometimes he used to wake me up by hitting me with a belt or ridicule me in front of other people. Thank God I married a good man and we moved to another country when I began my healing process. it’s been more than ten years to overcome his madness and stay away from people like him.
Awful for you. Keep your chin up and head on a swivel..hope you can find some peace of mind sometime in what's left of your life. Praying somehow you can escape their constant monitoring of your every move. If I as a total stranger, can feel compassion for you, that is evidence that someone else can/will also. Will also pray you meet up with another human being to keep you from living the nightmare in solitude. Blessings to you.
Same here. I took my son to his house one day and he didn’t come to the door. As I was driving away, the police were following me. He had told them that I was harassing him or something. He had stolen my dog from me and he was paranoid that I was trying to get her back. While we were standing outside with police the dog ran into my arms and I left with her. He was constantly lying about me.
A girl is being slandered by her community based on hearsay. Boyfriend Made up allegations portraying her as something she is not. Blaming her saying she is theft. She is about to go get kicked out and is misunderstood dismissed and being silenced. Being threatened to be sold as prostitute. This I real no lies.
Yup!° Same for me! But as a Christian I long know that God Almighty has His big eyes on all of them ANDHis bug hands ready at any moment to turn all their evils upon themselves!
The problem is that technically we all have narcissistic traits but narcissism is diagnosed by being on the extreme end of the narcissistic spectrum. I try to only socialise & associate with people that display obvious empathy & prove to me that they're not excessively self centred.
@@carpathianken Im 62 and lived so dont trust most people like I used to. Im currently in University doing my second year in BSc in Psychology, living and still learning.
@@Missladybug62 I like that despite you realising that people are innately untrustworthy it hasn't stopped you from aspiring to further your education & continue to learn. It's a shame that society doesn't seem to promote that behaviour anymore & it instead seems to rolemodel & encourage loud mouth extroversion
It's been 23 years of my life and he's still trying to destroy the adult child and the minor child and the system thinks they can reunify the minor child with him by using someone who does reunification with sex offenders and murders so terrible to watch these fools believe they can trust people like this and he's shown them he can't respect boundaries or rules and continues to just side with him and how they "experience " him differently.
I can say the "judicial system" is royally fked when it comes to Cluster B personality disorders, no matter which one however NPD's are the most toxic for obvious reasons. It's a screaming total shame your children must be subjected "with supervision" to his abuses when these idiots have zero clue what they are watching, what he is doin to his kids, and they cannot interpret his behavior. No wonder the jails are full of such damaged ppl. I wish you well in your journey.
I was so severely neglected and abandoned as a child 😢 that I idolized and spoiled my first born son...trying to just give him all the love I myself did not recieve as a child...hes 17 now..and yes he has narcissistic tendencies 😢
@@Sarah-with-an-H Never recover means, you stayed with ill health, no money, no social net, no system helping, no job, no friends to help or turned against you by narc, aged - simply alone in and still married to narc. Once you want to leave, you have to go via a painful divorce which can kill you, leave you with nothing or without children turned against you, hurt or killed. This may mean '' Never recover''.
I loved how the professor allowed and offers,at the end of the video to allow us to become punitive towards himself if we have been injured and wish "justice". Love his concise and keen sense of humor. I appreciate this man. Everything he said is wisdom explained with reference to the narcissistic personality and borderline personality and psychopath. Very interesting. Will definitely listen again.
Yes. I especially like his sense of humour. Bringing into situations that are so painful to discuss, he offers a bit of deserved respite. My thanks to you and to him.
I am taking notes. My dream is to become a psychologist in crimonology with God's help. Thank you for your knowledge 🙏. You just describe my ex. Now I know who he is. The more I study the more I make decisions. 🎉🎉🎉
They NEED to put back all forms of Narcissistic behaviors, Into the DSM-5 Especially the MOST dangerous one, the Dark Triad; and the extensive damages and lives these monsters destroy and take, literally sacrifice, seconds, minutes, hours, weeks, months and yearly. Please stay away and safe from your ex, so you can change lives in the future. Even going to Women's shelters to share your experience, can save lives, when you look at the Statistics of how many act like salmon and return to their abusers, due to low self esteem, and no financial help to get themselves, or themselves and their children away from abuse. When abusive actions or words are normalized to children, studies have shown, they either will become abusers themselves, or be a lot more susceptible to accepting and tolerating abuses of themselves or their own children, than those who were never exposed to this unhealthy way of existence. Best wishes you achieve your goals; inspire others, and save lives; and help to make our world, a better place... 🙏
I’m a borderline and love listening to your videos. They are so informative. I just escaped an abusive relationship with a sociopathic narcissist. These videos are so helpful. Thank you. ❤
Narcissistic can destroy you by damaging your reputation with lies. They sound so real and talk so smooth, people believe them.
Yes 99% of people sided with my evil family and the worst part i am a short men
Word!!!
Exactly true!
What is most painfully frustrating to witness is that people are so readily 'taken in' by that pseudo 'niceness' all the while they are being played to satisfy that psychopathic ego...
Well i've used the brothers said I can sell ice to an eskimo
My Ex Partner ruined my heart+ my soul. Healing takes a long time+ is extreme painful.TY for your videos, they help me much!!💔💓❤️🩹❤️
They are not only difficult, they are extremly dangerous!!!
They are just shit talkers.
They can't hang when you really bring the fight to their front door.
Yes dangerous and very wicked.
Undetected at that.
Mine's my sister, getting old and hystrionic. The more people ignore them, the more dramatic they get. She's falling apart. She stole our inheritiance, and now, she's falling apart, using her children in lieu of our desceased parents as her flying monkeys. They are easily disarmed because they were raised by me. I'm actually having a good time, despite the fact it's difficult to explain common sense things to her via proxy of the monkeys.
There seems to be an increase in Narcissist more than ever theses days ❤
Yes, many in US; may be due to lack of parental time and love with the children.
Internet? Immediate self gratification ?
Many things ...
Although the word is being thrown around to much these days. It seems like the littlest thing can be narcissism according to some when it's not.
Trueth more especially they are using dating sites
See 2 Timothy 3. This is because we are in the end times.
When you meet a narcissist, RUN. Very fast. They will never change.
I know right, date the bullies who made them that way.
Or, alternatively, stand your ground. Don’t feed the beast with fear, or else his/her power will only become worse.
They can but not with you in their life. They need to be alone
@@jennifercooljeo6552 If they have NPD (the clinical definition) then they really cant..
They'll learn to adapt. Fake empathy etc but the truth is that it's a facade.
Personality Disorders are rooted in ya, right down to the core. I have BPD - and will for the rest of my life.. seems better then being NPD evil though.
@@Dmwapoasj Please share...would love to hear regardless...
The best way to handle a narcissist (if you can) is to completely disconnect and have no contact. They will find it unbelievable and wounding, but you won’t know because you are gone. Don’t be curious and don’t look back.
@@GlenMcDowellFarmno contact still the best option
@@GlenMcDowellFarmYes. If need be, get 👮 involved.
Doesnt work for co-parents unfortunately and especially in liberal country as Sweden where everything is 50/50.
Excellent advice. You have to disconnect from them completely. They are pathological liars, who never stop.
Don't be curious !
The fits of rage are just insanity..tell them what's real, they hate it
Every time you catch them in a lie...they go crazy..the narcissist
The problem is that will get you smacked.
Maybe yeah
Telling them the truth makes them go insane.
Amen ❤
3 years ago my ex husband was violently physically attacking me infront of our children. He was yelling at me saying"you better keep your mouth shut and know ur role, before i pull a chris watts on you and those fucking kids" (his kids too) my son called police, got lifetime restraining order and full custody of our children and relocated. He stalked alot until he ended up in jail and we relocated and are in peace
Make sure you are in the Address Confidentiality Program.
Happy you are! I'm in Russia, there are no restraining orders here.
Jeezus, lilyflower. That’s horrifying. I’m so glad you got away. You’re really strong for getting yourself and kids to a safer place. Well done. ❤
@@holly3503At this special time of the year I pray you come to know Jesus who loves you. God bless.🙏
So glad you got out. My ex strangled me in front of my son. They will never change. Get out, stay out!! 🍀❤
He (narc psycho) almost choked the life out of me in 1989. Slowly over the next 4 to 6 months, I put a little money away each pay cheque, and started packing a few bags and 2 small boxes with my important personal effects. I set out down the freeway out of San Diego one morning after he left for work. I drove off in the rickety old jalopy he bought for me. "It is an antique", he told me. He was some cheap! He bought this old wreck of a car shortly after purchasing an expensive brand new Harey Davidson motorcycle for himself. I drove back to Canada with no licence, no registration and no insurance. I got out with my life. All the "stuff" meant very little compared to my life.
Your story very touching, dear. Glad you made it out of there alive. You are a very brave woman. Blessings to you.
You go girl ✊🏼 well done
🙏🏻🕊️🌅
🙏🫶
Good for you.💜
Left the narcissist 7 years ago. Blocked him on all social media, and moved 2000 miles away. Then a month ago I got a pop up FB messenger message from him!
As soon as I saw that face in the pop up circle, I immediately swiped it away WITHOUT reading the message, and reblocked him.
The next day I received 3 hang up calls in a row from him. Now, THAT'S the real narcissist reacting to my rejection of him!
They cry forever.😢😂
Stay safe! My friends narc ex husband, followed her around. (for a while)
I left a malignant narc after 21 years back in 2008 - he's still stalking using his little flying monkeys.
You have to do all the activities that he blocked you from
I was looking back over past emails sent by my brother, a malignant narcissist. On ONE day in April, 2018, he sent 48 emails to his ex-wife copying me. At the time they’d been divorced for over 10 years.
The “injury” can be as small as you having a good day when they aren’t. It is impossible not to injure their egos at some point.
Their ego's are huge and very fragile.
Omgg same I only get to hqve 1 good day in a week lol now I see it. Asshole
Só right.
Is this really true?
I've had 2 NPD relationships and eventually literally just the sound of you breathing will piss them off ...
The narc creates his own frustrating environment.
What a great point.
Or her own.
Exactly
@spilledit in language use when using a singular pronoun the correct pronoun is he. It's not excluding anyone else. It's just the proper use of a singular pronoun.
@hughessignco.7161 that might have been MLA format about 75 years ago. Most narcissists I have come across or heard about first hand, have been fellow women.
they lie, cheat, steal and deceive and are very very dangerous ! No empathy, no regret for damage !!
Once you find out who they are - stay quiet , be agreeable with them and RUN !!!!!!!
Wow! That is so strange. I never knew about how they operate on the inside. That helps me to see. Arguing with a narcissist is pointless.
Yup a narcissists victim is their sacrificial lamb including if it's their children
Not just arguing : Communicating turns into what they want you to do & you don't do anything right ,
There's no point they are never wrong, and it's always your fault. Even if it was their mistake.
It explains why nothing I could say could change the fixed narrative/view my ex had of me when he was angry that absolutely was distorted.
Narcissists not necessarily physically abusive but phycologically they are capble of extensive damage
its almost worse. bruises heal fast
Trauma slow. Trauma of any kind
@@NFTeve Not if they are fatal.
You've got that right
I knew some who led their victim into trouble, pain etc. also, some are literally 😈 worshippers and they are very able to do damage in a short time, and convince you nothing happened. They know how to divide the personality.
Stick with your gut and set boundaries. It works..the moment they see you say the word no, they will leave.
Also, pay close attention to those who you say no to and watch how they treat you after..those are the narcs. Run for your life.
Facts
“No” frustrated my Narc and he did just what Sam is talking about here. He regrouped and became more subtle and then would act irrationally and shut me up and talk over me when I wanted to discuss anything. He eventually started throwing things at me. Because he couldn’t control me, he denied me a separation when I presented him with one. He started punishing me more and more.. I had to wait until he threw something and hit me and then I called the police got to a CPO and am pursuing divorce!
@@mlou7432again a woman pissing off a man to the point where he had to throw something to shut you up. You said it yourself, he threw things but didn't hit you and then you got an idea to do SOMETHING so he can take that extra step. In other words, like 99% of the cases, it's a woman forcing out narcicistic behaviour on a man by using narcicistic means 😂 you can't make this up!! Have no believe in this sort of women and btw there are mostly female narcs so more often than not YOU are actually the narc you are assigning your ex with. 😂😂
Some do not respond this way to "no" and boundaries. Some become violent.
They better run for theirs cause at that point its self defense and invasion of my personal space.
When you discard them, it’s goes to a whole nother level.
They can be really tricky to spot and once you become close enough to them it’s really hard to get out without damage once you realize who and what you are dealing with.
At a certain point in my divorce my lawyer called me in to his office and told me he learned via certain sources that my now ex was asking around to find someone to “hurt” me. I now live three states away, have protection, and know how to use it.
Keep pictures of him. So new friends can Identify him! ( One of my mistakes was wanting to forget him) . If you can, find out if you can get proof, ie; phone recordings, eye witness accounts of his intent. ( I once witnessed my ex. Making a gun pointing jester about wanting to off our son in law! I told him .). Anything you can do to document, document, document! These people don't give up!!
Still. Protecg yourself. Learn combat and firearm. Get your license. They always find a way.
Become an internet
Ghost or grayman
I hope you told the cops
Aside from a pistol and safety training plus target practice
I say a trained guard dog and cameras like the ring door cam, cameras in the house and in the car
Can never be too safe when it comes to your precious life
Have self and situational awareness and never take for granted your intuition and discernment
Stay off social media
Be careful of who’s in your inner circle
Move like Batman
It’s called “Fatal Attraction” “Play Misty For Me” “Sleeping With The Enemy” these scenarios are very real!
He isn't playing by your rules, when he's quiet be careful. He's not at peace, there's a storm inside. When you feel a dark vibe, believe it. You were given intuition for a reason, and being around a narc heightens it. The saying "It's my world, you're just living in it" captures what you're dealing with. And no, he doesn't think or feel the way you do at all. They choose mild-mannered empathetic people who are easy to control (a people-pleaser like me, for instance, is at great risk. Before I knew it, I had bought him a truck and handed my checks over to him. So bizarre, looking back.) ❤
this is the key to identify a narcissist:
"narcissists are incapable of perceiving external objects, they're incapable of conceptualizing the separateness and the externality of objects (...) there is only the internal object, inside his mind, that represents you and he goes on interacting only with the internal object (...)" 08:50
keep this in mind: THEY CAN'T SEE YOU. as soon as someone reacts to you in a way that is incongruent with the happening at hand or says something to you about you that you know has nothing to do with who you are - and if this happens consistenlty - you have a narcissist in front of you. for best results: PLEASE GET TO KNOW YOURSELF so no one can come into your life and start to tell you who you are.
what the narcisist says or does has nothing to do with you. it will have to do with you if you interact. this is also why going no contact is the only thing that works. because then they have nothing to interact with. no screen to project.
OK, so glad you mentioned that spoiling and idolizing a child are also forms of abuse. I've experienced first hand the vindictive, malignancy of a man/monster who was idolized, pampered and spoiled by his mommy from birth (and sadly, ignored by his father--neglect another form of abuse). He thinks he is god almighty, and worse, turned to religion to be a pillar of the community but in personal life is a vindictive, cruel, sadistic monster. So many say "oh, they were traumatized as a child", when I think..hmmm such "trauma", being raised as if you were a little Lord, catered to by mommy and maids and nannies. But children quickly become monsters. Give an average 2 year old a gun and then try to take his toy.... without boundaries children grow up to be monsters. And yes, that is abuse to not teach a child to think of others.
Agreed! My ex was NEVER told no by his mother and she saved him from suffering consequences of his actions anytime it was in her power to do so. Not only that but they're very codependent (he's currently 38 so it's weird). For years I went to her for assistance in trying to get him to go to some kind of rehab for his drug abuse and it wasn't until the last year that I realized that she needs him to be sick so she feels needed and can rationalize her over involvement in his life. I fully believe she caused him to become a narcissist which was compounded by his abusive drugs. I eventually had to get a restraining order to protect myself and are 2-month-old baby when I left him recently because the physical abuse started again and was becoming more frequent/worse. The judge took away all his parenting time until he completes 30 domestic violent classes & outpatient rehab but I have little hope that it will help. Now I'm having to file for child custody so we have a long-term plan in place and I'm very afraid of what he will do when things aren't going his way. I comfort myself with the fact that I've done everything that is in my ability to protect myself and where I am currently is safe. Hoping he doesn't come after me because I don't know what he's capable of anymore!
That was my ex husband. Worshipped by his mommy. Could not do any wrong in her eyes whatsoever. Dad beat the daylights out of him and his brother.
Brother went on to be an abuser and child rapist and my ex is a narcissistic abuser of women and manipulated his kids against me and used them to control me. I got away several years ago. Best decision I ever made
Many damaged, abusive people use religion as their camouflage. Ask me how I know.
My damaged psyopath abusers also use religion. God was used as a club to beat me with.
Somehow relion becomes very convenient. God protect me from your followers😮😮
A frightening vlog.
Gavin deBecker in his book "The Gift of Fear" (the chapter on domestic abuse alone is worth the price of the book) had a sign on his desk which said "Do not come here for justice." He explained that safety/escape from toxic people is worth more than seeing them pay for what they did. You wanna be vindicated at the cost of your life or wellbeing? I don't.
Believe that justice, karma, whatever will come to abusers some other way. If it isn't safe to fight for them to be punished, just get out and enjoy the rest of your life. They'll be miserable, and you'll be free. That will be your revenge.
Great book!
It's an excellent read.
Well said!!! 💜
Yes, each person creates their own future. Let them, forget them.
If anyone has experienced a close relationship with a person as described in this video, it's clear as day.
I'm embarrassed to admit I spent 33 years with such a person. I was 19 when they sucked me in. Im now 72 and I'm with a loving, caring person with NO narcissistic tendencies. Even though I wasted the majority of my life on that A-Hole I feel very fortunate to have stumbled into the life I'm in now. I just felt the need to share this because this video is so spot on. Textbook as they say. Thank you
Thank you for sharing your story. 💜
@@novanoire93 you're very welcome. ❤
So glad you got a chance to heal im 18 years in trying to build the courage to leave
@mistiery5684 I pray for strength for you. Good luck and bless you.
@@mistiery5684 I will be honest, I spent the majority of my life with this person and I think that in my case my beginning menopause had some to do with it. I suppose the extra testosterone that occurs or whatever it was, I found the strength to stand up and stop taking it. There was no physical abuse in my case and I think that's important to consider. When you can stand up to a person who intimidates you as opposed to standing up to a person who physically abuses you are two very different situations imo.
From the moment you change, the initial realization from the intimidating/verbal abuser that you are done, I'll just say, it's empowering to you and they are so stunned (again, in my case) they can't believe it's happening. He was speechless. I knew he was scared of what would happen next.
You are defining 100% my own mother. Horrendous woman whom everyone who's met believes she is a wonderful human being. Except me! How she hasn't completely, thoroughly, destroyed me, were I religious, I'd consider it a miracle.
I was four when she threatened to kill me and then held a butcher knife over my head, and held it there for a while, all the while scaring me by telling me she was going to abandon me, poison me, etc. And so, at 4 years of age, I started to draw and paint and continued doing so for the rest of my life. Today, I'm an artist and very thankful I took art as my refuge. I doubt if I would have survived if I hadn't.
Finally a writer here that actually points out exactly what happened. Majority are just saying the narc ruined their life but no detail. I understand things when it is broken down bit by bit. I know it sucks to have to spell it out but a lot of people need exact examples to know what to look for. When I was around the same age my mother's boyfriend told me not to open the door for her because he locked her out and said if I open the door for her he would 🔪 her throat 😭 that's when I evaporated into video games and sat with the dog all the time.
❤❤❤so sorry you were traumatized by the person who is supposed to protect you the most
@@sherlynbrown5270 Thank you. It was good, though painful, to have realized it before it was too late. And I thank art for having helped me.
I’m sorry that happened to you 😔
Same here.
YES. I actually thought my narc ex was going to let me go in peace because I had told enough people about how he had abused me, and they were watching. He seemed to be agreeable as we divided up the physical possessions. Then came the day we officially told our kids we were separating, and one by one, they all told me, "We want to live with dad." He had been working behind the scenes, lying and manipulating, planning my destruction. He KNEW I loved those kids more than anything, more than myself. It almost worked; I almost unalived myself. But I'm still here. I left anyway, and I am healing. I feel peace and safety and hope for the first time in my life! I'm learning about boundaries and getting stronger every day. I believe my kids will see the truth one day, because that man cannot pretend to be selfless for long, and raising three kids is demanding work! He also won't admit he's an alcoholic. It's only a matter of time.
Make sure that your kids have a way to contact you AND that they know that you will not punish them for going off with their dad. If they are living with a narcissist they are learning that people punish them for mistakes. So they may believe that you will not want to hear from them even that they wanted to contact again.
Also, they are manipulated badly and are afraid to make him angry.
So find a way that they can contact you online etc. in some safe way. Or that your number does not change etc. ❤
@@SatumainenOlento Your advice is well-intentioned but unsolicited. I’ve read and watched everything I can about parental alienation.
@@theladyamaltheayour comment was unsolicited. This is the interent don't air your personal business here unless you want people responding.
Silly narcissist woman. I think I know why your children chose the house they did
@@ForageGardener People like you are the reason the internet sucks, and the reason abuse survivors don’t want to share their stories.
They will!
My mother wasn't speaking to me when she died. I refused to be her servant 24/7. I wanted my own life. No one was allowed to have their own life. She came first. I was shocked when I went to her house after she died & saw that she had put up a shrine dedicated to me. But everything was from my childhood. Now that I hear what you're saying about the narcissist, I understand what she was doing- my mother wanted everything restored to how life was when I was a child & under her thumb.
Shrines are their speciality,
I am no contact with my mother but when she was trying to hoover me she kept referring to me when I was a baby .
I'm in my late 50s but I have been reduced to an infant and her memories of that.
That's deep... when you have a narcissist parent it's so easy to spot it in others. I didn't have the proper name for it when I was a kid. I secretly called it "the craziness", I still do... when I spot an inclining of "the craziness" in others, I keep my distance. I'm grateful for that gift but it cost me my childhood to develop that gift which now as an adult it's truly a Blessing ❤
@@winninginlife 💯
Hey could you elaborate on that shine of you dhe had? Like a bunch of photos of you?
Isn't it normal for parents to have photos of their children?
Revenge always means that you are not free. So long as your mind and heart are committed to it, you cannot heal. You’re still completely focused on your abuser. I’ve been in some sick relationships, with predatory partners high in narcissism. They took their revenge, for leaving them, and it hurt both me and my children. We have passed through those storms. How would we want to keep thinking of the person who caused it? The best revenge on a narcissist is indifference.
I'm speechless..
How does one get to indifference when there is a child involved who is being hurt? Beautifully incredible words, thank you!
@@MarcJakob1314 Good question, & the fact that they did this to their children is unforgivable. The pain they caused me was bad enough, but I was an adult, and I could navigate through it, and come to a point where I do not care. But you’re right. What they did to our children is unforgivable.
@@bethmoore7722 you are right, as adults we can deal with our stuff and our choices but sitting back watching and seeing the child suffer, and bot being able to do anything is really the opposite for me of indifference. Courts, child protection and police only do so much.
@@MarcJakob1314 I did not sit back in indifference to what was done to my children. There was no abuse that anyone could help with. I got the attorney general to get back child support, but refused to run them down to my kids, because they needed a father. I knew they’d form their own opinions. Emotional abandonment was the thing I couldn’t prevent them from doing. I could not get them to help me keep the house my kids were growing up in, either, so we lost it. If a man is not paying child support, the AG won’t act quickly enough to keep you from losing everything. This is Texas. You may have heard that they don’t care much for women and children here.
I did not “sit back.” Again, my indifference is to my exes’ welfare. I don’t care to take revenge, as it’s pointless. I did not neglect to fight for my children, and I know you did not mean to accuse me of that. I’m the only one who ever fought for them.
As a 17 yr old, I saw my narcissist boyfriend spiraling out of control. Alcohol addiction intensified his "control addiction". I knew I couldn't leave him because he was becoming violent. I had to make him believe it was his decision to break up.
It worked, and he broke up with me. I had a year of peace.
What I couldn't foresee is how it ate at him for a year. Even with him in other girlfriend relationships. His hate to ruin me ate at him.
One summer afternoon, he found me as I walked home from my Aunties house and sweetly offered me a car ride back to my home. It was hot out, hadn't seen him in a year, and thought, what can a quick car ride hurt?
My inner gut feeling said "don't do it", almost like I heard my inner voice say, "do not get in that car. " I said, "Holy Spirit, is that your voice?" But, I quickly stuffed it down inside because what I felt vs. what I saw didn't match. His face was smiling, and he looked so carefree and so handsome, and his charm swayed me. After all, people can grow up in one year, and they can change. Right?
Wrong!
I got in the car. He said, "Let's take a ride to the lake, it's only 20 minutes away." As we got closer to the lake, he started speeding. He slammed on the breaks (and I, not wearing my seatbelt in the 1980s) hit my forehead on the dashboard and then slid under the passamger dashboard onto the floor! Suddenly, he grabbed my long hair, pulled my head to the seat of the car, and announced he was going to kill me. He proceeded to tell me how.
He said, "If I can't have you, nobody can!"
I prayed for police to see his speeding car as he drove thru city streets at break neck speeds running thru red traffic lights. I attempted to jump out at one intersection, but was yanked back in. No police came.😢
I turned my face to the passenger window, started praying silently, then out loud, then I started singing the children's song, "Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to him belong they are weak, but HE is strong! Yes, Jesus Loves Me...."
Then suddenly, the car started to slow, his hold on my hair released. He started crying. From his profile, I saw the tears running down the side of his face. Staring straight ahead, he stopped the car. He let me out of the car. I never showed any emotion to him.
I cried once inside my home, I was thanking God for my life and heavenly intervention.
I was so damaged from that relationship that it took me a long time to date again and trust anyone. I dove into Psychology classes, in college, in my attempts to understand his personality disorder.
As a wiser person, I married a very special man who won my heart. We have been married for 35 years.
I have spoken to my kids, family, and friends about narcissists and their modus operandi. About looking for relationship red flags and to never, ever be fooled into thinking you change them. You can't.
I appreciated your talk today. It brought up so many experiences with a Narcissistic ex-boyfriend. I share my story as a learning tool for others.
If your gut feeling says something is wrong, do not be deceived by what your eyes see.
😢👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼❤
Thank goodness you got out. I also worked out that I had to let him break up with me. I had been saying no to a lot of things and he was also extremely jealous about me getting a better job. We had long break and came back together as friends.who still cared about each other. Just recently he has been pulling away and finally told me he wants to be alone. When I listen to Sam it makes so much sense
I hope you turned him in. Glad you survived the horror!!!
But you did believe what you saw, because he was smiling. That's what they do, they mask their true selves and intentions. They are complete nasty, evil, monsters
Lord Jesus saves His children ❤
I confronted my Narcissist mother and BPD father for their poor parenting and about setting boundaries around my kids.
My father raged then went passive aggressive and silent; my mother, on the other hand, fawned during the argument and has been extremely “nice” with lovebombing etc.
it’s her that I’m worried about because she’s capable of long term planned revenge and has a sadistic side. Yikes!
Keep your children far away from them ❣️
Take Care my friend!💚
I don't know the details but if your mother is being loving towards your children, why would you take that away from them.?
Get yourself and your kids to safety. Sending courage and strength your way. ❤
oh hun, you don't understand narc abuse. @@Aquariusrising44
He used to say, often,. " It's all about me ".. I thought he was joking.. He most definitely wasn't.
They are criminals! They think they're smarter than anybody else, better & entitled to what ever they want no matter who it belongs to. Imagine a club of them, a gang where they all have this in common? Bonded. Protecting each other.. They exist.
Oh I know I’m going through it right now. 🙏
@@yamisomad3486..me too they tried killing me in 2015 and was màking an attempt too this past july ...the gang çonvinces through fear gang stalking drugs and monitary things too send people too do there dirty work ...i rebuke the evil plàns of satan in yashuwahs name
This happens. Narcissism is deeply rooted in human nature, and there has been a virtual explosion of it. They will try to rob you of everything that you valued in yourself. They cannot do this alone, they must enlist doctors, lawyers, close friends who can help them, and yes, even your own friends and family. They truly are the evil ones. Realize it. Then move forward and survive.
@@shirley9066 It is frightening, isn’t it? Imagine who could “gang up” on you during, for instance, a divorce proceeding. You would have a really tough go of it.
Yep friends are flying monkeys plenty around gaslighters
That's why he keeps telling me I'm constantly humiliating him when I try to tell him how I feel and how he hurts my feelings.
It's not you.
❤@@Miss_Elaine_
You can’t tell him because he won’t understand
A narcissist have an interpretation in his mind of who you are, when he talks he is talking to that puppet in his mind that represents you to him, he does not speak with you the person there outside of him in the physical world, and if the real you does not do what his internal representation of you is supposed to do then he must punish you for not complying with his internal image of you. Most of it is going on in the inside of his mind and he can not/will not perceive you as a person or human being. This WILL NOT CHANGE, so if you want your freedom then no matter what get away.
@@DorothyHolden-fo5ekfacts 💯
I got chills from watching this video. I clicked on it because of the thumbnail showing the Watts family. My narcissistic ex fiancé wanted to watch American Murder : the Family Next Door the day before he discarded me. Which I thought it was odd because we had watched it a few months earlier and he doesn’t like these kind of shows. I strongly feel it was some kind of threat or him saying “this is what is going to happen to you”. He was physically violent once during the relationship where he showed no remorse, and now I’m understanding he probably went into borderline - psychopathic mode. I’m very happy I didn’t marry this man, I think it could have ended in a tragedy.
So glad to hear another story where someone got away, even slightly scathed is better than 6 ft under. Gd bless.
My mother loved to read or watch murder mysteries. Her anxiety would build up over days and I'd come home to her icy hard stare, her tightly drawn lips and her stiff robotic posture. I'd know she would erupt at some point and blame me.
I’m over joyed to hear of your self and situational awareness, intuition, discernment and grounding
You are alive today because of it
Never lose that ☝🏾
Me too! Be safe.
My ex Narcissist used to say "jokingly" he hadn't killed me....yet. I even had a cpl nightmares of lying in a dirt hole and him standing above the hole holding the shovel. Also of him trying to strangle me in another nightmare. I feel these were my true fears as well as omens. His eyes were dark and so was his energy. He thought I was stupid years ago being sad for Shanan Watts because he believed Chris Watts was innocent. I'm glad I usually ran from that ex and only wasted a cpl months a year with him But for far too many years!!!! Never had someone make me so sad and mad. Glad I didn't marry mine either! And glad I haven't fallen back to old habits in years and that is all behind me. Happy New Year to all of the Survivors of this NPD abuse. It truly is a beautiful life when we are far away from these sick sorts.
I was married to a very cunning narcissist that was groomed by her mother. Unfortunately it didn't work with me... She died of stubbornness but left a legacy of hate in the children. I cut the children off completely. That's after 28 years. Now I am tired and over cautious. I became a hermit... These things do damage you.
Thank you for saying that you became a hermit because of the abuse. I was raised by a narcissist and have an older sister who is also a narcissist. After a lifetime of being attracted to narcissists at 80 years old, I finally know that being reclusive with my two cats is the only way to find peace in my life. I can now look forward to my last years without being so horribly abused. I wish you the same peace.31:19
@@FeralCatSanctuary i came to same ealisation at age 40. Just me and my beloved Foxterier
I make lots of effort to not be a hermit. I finally found and Old Timey Methodist church full of sweet old, old-fashioned (not religious nuts)people and couldnt be happier!
the sad part is that i thought was tough enough not to get damaged
@@NFTeve That's what Im looking for. Im glad u found a church home.
This is why I refuse to take food offerings from my ex and her family. I also keep a close eye out for being followed. When they found out I had a brain tumor they all begged me to subscribe to their group life insurance policy. My ex ended up leaving after my 4th surgery and I called her out after reading her private journal which noted all of her narcissistic tendencies and shame. When I confronted the truth I witnessed the rage and withdrawal I was immediately discarded. Pray for me and my kids !
🙏 🙏 🙏 May God's presence sustain you, and may God provide, and protect you. I'm sorry for your pain, both physical and spiritual. God will never leave or forsake you. ❤
@@Mr60minor🙏🙏🙏
Sending love your way and may God protect you and your family.
I unfortunately live with my narcissistic mom due to disability, but in December she cooked stuffed peppers without any prompt from me. I didn't eat it right away even though I accepted it. I put it in the fridge and ate it later. Three bites in and the bite was moldy. It was food she had prepared that day, but it was one stuffed pepper that had mold deep inside the stuffing. When I told her what happened she became irate angry and gaslit me. Weird response to my experience that came off as a guilty response. To cause me harm because revenge and control is what matters most. Not the health safety and well being of her disabled middle aged daughter. This week she started to buy me junk food id never asked for and insisted I eat it even though due to health problems I've specifically have informed her how important it is for me to eat healthier foods that aren't processed. So she actively ignore my wishes tries to poison me and actively sabatoges my efforts to be healthier. And she also ignores my request and boundary to not bring up how my body looks if I'm slimming down or how clothes look on my body because I realized that's all directly linked to me having a binge eating disorder. So is her constantly giving me the mom look at family functions. She'd glare at me to shame me because I'd picked up the habit of turning to food so I didn't have to interact with family members that traumatized me as a child. I was forced to play nice with my abusers and was blamed for what happened to me that I had never asked for and was held down against my will while I screamed and cried no and was told I asked to have knives thrown into the floor at my feet. I didn't ask for that and I didn't get help for that incident even though I started acting out cynically. That was a cry out for help that a normal mom would have recognized, but not my mom I was instead neglected and got a sarcastic quip about being optimistic. I was 27 before I learned the meaning of optimistic. I need to find a way out of this or I'll die. So that's going to happen eventually
@@Sarah-with-an-HSounds so similar to my life too… so sorry you're dealing with this.
I packed my car with my belongings and drove to the other side of the country without telling anyone. That was my only way to escape. I was 32 years old at the time.
Unfortunately before I knew about narc abuse I decided to come back bc I wanted to "make things right".
I had healed & felt better than I ever knew was possible & thought I could somehow make things great between us! Mother & daughter best friends. I imagined all kinds of things like we could go get manicures & pedicures together, we could talk & laugh about everything. It'd be great!
Not only did this never happen, but, over time, she has chewed me up & ruined my relationship with any family members & many things I'm trying to forget about & just move on from this Lent, & sadly I'm in a worse mess than before.
I am planning another escape except that this time I never come back. She is 85. I am 43. She has had her thumb on me my whole life, but I started going to church & after finding Jesus I feel a freedom & strength like never before. As though it's a DUTY to leave & live a good life.
I hope you too can find a way out…
Clue #1: Keep ALL plans 100% secret bc a narc has minions everywhere to tell her everthing she needs to know.
I learned that the hard way multiple times.
Clue #2: Act normal & don't do or say anything out of the ordinary. When she's gone that's when you grab your bags & leave. Otherwise she will use every tactic to stop you whether through mental manipulation or by calling in the minions. Mine uses family AND neighbors as her personal minions! Nevermind to all my belongings… just gotta save what little may be left of my life.
Check out Bob Wells UA-cam channel… can start out living in a vehicle if need-be. Where there's a will to live, there's a way.💝
The narcissist pulled me through a 4.5 year divorce that was horrific and I am so lucky to be alive now. Thank God 🙏
I walked away from a marriage with nothing-not even my car- although he had millions. The shock of trying to survive such a person and having to leave with nothing has affected my life and not easy to recover and thrive.
We will rise 🙏🏼
3 years. I don’t know how you made it.
It gets better - I promise you. 10 years of hell here.
10 years here, this has been incredibly difficult to overcome.
As someone who is a mental health professional and a survivor of narcissistic abuse, I have never heard a more detailed and accurate account of the cycles the narcissist constantly goes through, and puts those around them through. Thank you for this video, it confirmed exactly what I witnessed but could not find literature on. Excellent video 👍🏻👍🏻
Been with one 17 years now
@@carmenellis4068 you should not waste your life away close to those monsters. Get out and away before you forget what freedom is.
@@UnrealEntity thank you are 💯 right♥️
I agree this video explained my last 8 years in hell in ways I couldn’t even...
My 1st narcissist blind sided me. Then was murdered a few months after we split. 2nd narcissist almost got into my life, but after going through it once, I started to notice all the red flags still took a few weeks to really understand this is indeed the situation. My 2 cents burn those bridges fast and bright. They say you can't win no win narcissist games, but it's a win if you figure it out and get out before you get invested.
Interesting video. I watch these types of videos rarely now, but it's worth it once and a while to retain knowledge.
What annoys me the most is how people out there fall under their charm and never realise what they are dealing with !.
@violettabicycletta331 it is happening as we speak. Four 😢 elected officials. And in my hometown. How they got elected? Charmed the citizenry.
One is a teacher and knows everything. And she's a teacher. And the other repairs the roof of an African American church and the members vote him in office. The others are same. Smiling 😍 and challenge them? Tgey 😮 get pissed. Their mask falls.
Not only blind to the nasty behavior but they will defend and protect these crazy people.
That’s how they reel people in
@@doobybro1207 stockholm syndrome
@@NotClosedMinded yup, you nailed it
Many people don‘t realize that spoiling children and idolizing them is abuse
My parents idolised one grandchild , spoilt only that one , told they deserved more than mother giving etc they were special .... that child is totally sociopathic and narcissistic and other grand kids have self esteem issues ...( all adults now)
Also over neglecting them!! because if they loss that love as a child it leaves a void in their hearts and now they have to fill that void with you (supply) and its a never ending cycle. Using everyone up and throwing them away to get that love and attention that they missed out on!
Yes, that statement was confirming of how children can so easily become narcissist/ic can happen so easily these days with working parents and them having to have other parental influences involved, one is hard and accusing one is encouraging and firm etc there can be so many scenarios.
I honestly just thought that kids who are spoiled just end up privileged big brats. Throwing the victim card out all the time. But now being in it.. wow their tantrums are like bulls in a China store and you do not want to be in their path. I was dumbfounded. Coming out of DV at least I knew how to handle it. Shut up, don't move and just observe. When they get close.. be ready to defend.. like your life counted on it. So happy I'm out of it now. Bc they just get worse, not better. It seems they always have addictions too. To detach from real life and continue living in their fantasy made up world of victimhood.
My ex's mother had him when she was 15. His father abandoned him and his mother didn't raise him, she was too busy with her own life. As a result, his grandparents overcompensated and he knew he was the favourite. He's the most evil person I've ever come across
Demonic is how I would sum up that woman labelled mother. Since I was a child I've always felt she would kill me. Now as an adult her obsession creeps me out to the core it truly feels like a predator. Unfortunately narcissism and borderline personality is common in NZ particularly in polynesian culture it is dismissed by the government for funding. DHB's don't get funding so most patients are misdiagnosed as substance abusers.
Dude, sooooo much in common if ever we were to chat. I recently had a supposed “professional” directly disbelieve me about some critical NPD things happening.
NZ as in New Zealand?
Bpd and narcissism are 2 completely different things
@@corekilla They certainly are different, but not completely.
Both fall under cluster B for a reason.
i was fostered in nz by a narcissistic mom .. she discarded me once i was an adult .. she fostered me and my sister for the attention it gave her as a savour
After 31 years with a narcissist wife, I have left her, and started a nomadic lifestyle. I have found that I too have become somewhat narcissist. Living alone out in nature has helped me t🎉become more of myself, the real me. The sad part is I still have my gard up around people. So, I still have a lot of work to do on myself. The good news is I nonger feel the hatred I had.
What narcissistic traits did you notice in yourself that made you believe you are becoming narcissistic?
@@movingsaudade6028 The number one is, I can screem at someone without asking why they are doing something I think is stupid. I often find out that they have a good reason for what they're doing and then I feel like such a low life. You would think I would learn from it, but I do it again to the next person. I am getting better but I have a long way to go. Before I was married, everybody had a clean slate.
@@kennethgardner3090sir you have PTSD. It takes time and a lot of tears. If you get this, please talk to me. I'm considering doing the wilderness thing. I would love to talk to you. I have been taken completely down. Honestly I'm running out of time to get things together
@@endtimesnavigation864 I don't know about contacting you, that's one of my problems. I will say I tried to get everything together myself. At one point last May, I just took off. I wish you the best. You will meet other full-timers and they can be a great asset to you. Because I'm new I am still learning myself.
I attract narcissists, because I am one from coming from one.
We were traumatized, and remain in reactive state. I have to regulate every single day but at least my psyche is my own, of my own.
Good luck to you. There is good in ego, do the shadow work and see.
I almost self destructed trying to take care of my raging narcissistic mother and my enabling father when they were in their 90’s. It’s difficult to imagine a mother who is jealous of her daughter and doesn’t care about her daughter’s suffering that she is causing. Later in life, my mother was cruel and as mean as a junk yard dog. She didn’t just dominate humans, she dominated animals. She used to break in horses when I was two-years-old. When I took care of my parents,
I was working full- time and barely existing. Thank God I found a therapist who saved me. After my father died, my mother died of COVID. She never apologized and never said she was wrong-ever! What a legacy!
I lived everything you speak of for many years. Its absolutely life altering for the whole family. I never knew there was a name for what I had devoted so much time to of myself. I loved him he could be so good and when it was bad now that I've awakened realize it was very damaging to my son's & myself. He was convicted October of 2023. The journey after 28 yrs to find myself and repair my immediate family has been a true experience. The hardest reality is no one understands what I'm feeling, I painted him perfect, I stayed silent to everyone my family members, his family and co workers yet my home life anything but comfort. Sleepless nights, catoring to his needs even while he raged apologizing to him for his behavior the list is extensive. I appreciate these videos makes me understand who I was up against. Strange thing is I don't hate him I was afraid of him. Its guilt and shame & anger with myself I'm experiencing for not recognizing and standing up to him sooner. I could make every excuse why I overlooked or made excuses for him. Most of all he was a father, grandfather, brother, uncle. First and foremost a person I did no matter how horrific loved him. The complexity of how he could manipulate everything by the time id had been removed from my home I couldn't speak I did not know what day it was he'd left me unconscious. These days I'm ok, this healing journey is real. The discussions with my adult children often pains my heart yet now I can listen without defending him. So damaging all of this narcissistic behavior. One day I hope when someone asks me about my experience I can share it and maybe I can't save everyone but I'd hope it would help someone. Thank you for sharing. Its so deeply profound 💜💜💜❤️🙏
Because of my victim mentality for many years I was in situations where I was intimidated or abused or threatened etc. It wasn't until I stood up for myself that these things changed and I no longer call those experiences to me. It's easy to judge when you're on the outside but once you're inside of a situation like that it takes on a totally different feeling. You can't see the way out because you're so afraid of the what if. Once you stand up for yourself. it doesn't make things perfect, but it is the beginning.
👍
Learn the DARVO technique!!I’ve been there before many moons ago. Work hard on yourself & learn about the tactics these fruit loops use. You’ll get to the point where I am. I see them as nothing but pathetic empty losers.
Anybody who hasn't been there, don't know.
@@rebeccabrown251 - You’ve got that right!! That’s been the toughest part going through my recovery from severe Narcissistic abuse. When I would “try” to explain some things that I experienced all of my family & friends looked at me like I had 6 eyeballs. I’ve since stopped. It’s been incredibly difficult and frustrating. So, YES… if you haven’t been in this situation before you will NEVER understand. Ever.
@@NopeNotTodaySatan Amen to THAT
A narcissist knows what's frustrates you,it's their gift, and they are very persistent, they want you to lose control .stay prayed up
I left my husband, taking my 2 daughters with me, when it became to obvious to deny that he meant us harm. That was 35 years ago and thank God I did. My family (narcissists all) were on his side, thinking he was too good for me, and would have covered for him for sure. When he remarried, I let him know if anything happened to his new wife I would call the police.
Good Lady!
I like that!
@@4GIVENhealWHAT??? THIS MUST BE A TROLL.
WHO IN A SANE MIND FORGIVE A NARCISSIST?
IF YOU SAY I FORGIVE YOU TO A NARCISSIST, WATCH THE SMILE COME OVER HIS/HER FACE AS SHE PREPARES TO ATTACK YOU AGAIN. YEAH, YOU'RE A TROLL.😂 😢😂
You’re an incredible human being. God blessed
wow thanks.@@ChaparritaMami-hp6hw
The timing of this video is uncanny. Thank you.
Never underestimate a 'crazy' person😮
My ex wife is a narcissist, and our relationship finished because of emotional abuse (toward me), hiding of family finances (by her) and I suspect that she was also having an affair. I’m also convinced that she was planning serious harm to me near the end of our relationship. It didn’t happen thanks be to God, but through the ensuing divorce I did lose everything! So she achieved extreme financial/psychological/emotional harm to me in the end, but I’m still sure she also meant physical harm. At the time of our breakup I had a conversation with the local police and asked them to note it in my record. I then told my ex wife what I had done so there would be a record ‘should anything happen to me’. She mocked me for my action, but had I not done that then it’s possible I may not be here today.
💯
Youll get your life back just keep moving on
That 'gut feeling' is what saved your life too...She sound like, SHE needed a Blanket party in the woods, with Louisville slugger ball bats; and the batters all were wearing masks, give her back 100% every scary hurt that twit dared to give to you.
You cannot be afraid of those brainless and heartless Robotic demons, strutting about in human skin.
YOU are better than she will ever become.
because SHE knows it, deep down, she. is . nothing, without a screen to reflect on.
My ex husband did this to me, he was paranoid and vindictive, he went through this phase when I thought he was being agreeable after a horrible event, then he turned psychotic and had everything planned and plotted to financially take revenge on me, for daring to stand up for myself against his abuse.
Facts mines exhibit symptoms of paranoid personality disorder I'm sure he is because narcissistic behavior go along with the abuse
Same
Same here!!!!
Me too. Used my daughter and my elderly narc mother to carry out his revenge while my dad was on his deathbed
@@nancyperkins2277 My younger brother and narc daughter conspired to steal insurance money from me when a family member died that left me the money but they can have it Karma will catch up to them.
This happened to me because I was winning with logic and without violence. My parents in turn put false charges on me and put the story in the local newspaper. I completely checked out of the local area I grew up in and just commute to another city to work.
They drooped the charges on me but the damage was done and my so called inner circle took their side.
After years with no contact, he started showing up in my yard and screamed nonstop throughout the day, saying terrible lies for everyone to hear. People called police but he wouldn’t stop. Restraining order didn’t stop him. The judge couldn’t stop him. He came at me with his car. His courtroom antics were pathetic. The judge ordered him to stay away from me but he continued to stalk. I left town. I know he’ll show up again.
Research anti stalking laws and move where they are strongest... that is my best advice. Personally i also invested in extensive security cameras, and almost never use social media like facebook. A VPN would be a good idea as well. I pray you never have to deal with him again.
@@AliciaGuitar I did get several cameras, stopped the social media but the cops seem corrupt everywhere I move to and couldn’t care less about what men do to me or my property. my new men neighbors are the local drug dealers and are upset that i don’t do drugs. my car has taken most of their abuse but they have approached me several times not in nice ways. the cops buy their drugs off them. the cameras did seem to stop them for now.
I don't know where you are, if it's a possibility, get your license to carry, and carry.
Work on leaving where you are now. GTFO as soon as possible.
@@merry8092 I'm going thru this right now with my own 40 yr old daughter I want her out my life she follows me, has hacked my phone and internet and computers she has even broken into my home several times and I have filed restraining orders, and police reports and so far nothing has worked. I'm going to sell my home and dissapear because I fear for my safety. the police and courts are no help they only work once the person murders you.
When I finally told the woman who gave birth to me that I never want any contact with her as long as either of us live, she hired 2, men who came to my house and destroyed all my landscaping. I feel like this was a message from her saying “if you don’t do as I say, this is how far I’ll go.” I’ve tried to make police reports several times but they refuse to even look at my photo/video evidence.
Take your proof to the court and get a protection order against her. And see if you can file harassment charges on her
OMG condolences for your trauma. You do not deserve it.
@empressb1107
VIDEO, AUDIO< get a ring camera installed outside the front of your home, in trees, and in your back yard. Get safety windows installed; if you have natural gas lines, have them regularly checked; and if now, also have your heating checked and documented IF anything is found to be, 'suspicious looking.'
Get to know your neighbors, and ask them to also help keep you safe by reporting to you, IF there are ANY strange things going on in the neighborhood; or, unknown vehicles driving by too slowly, to be considered, random.
NO matter what, keep track, and record it, anytime she or anyone calls and harasses you; and THEN? Instantly make a Police Report of THIS, and any and all suspicious behaviors, by her or anyone she sends after you.
Do public exposure like I did
going thru the same but its my 40yr old daughter thats my problem
I was close to becoming deleted by my ex. He was a narcissist and also a psychopath. If you try to physically oust such a person from your life the odds are they will not leave. The new fear that they will lose you and whatever you stand for in their mind can be the trigger for them to go to extremes.
This person poisoned me while I was pregnant in order to get me under his physical control. His increasingly erratic behavior eventually clued me in before my health completely failed and I could escape though not easily as he was watching me like a hawk.
I moved 1000 miles away in order to feel somewhat safe. By the time I had toxicology results and expected law enforcement to finally move on the case the DA in that county/state thought the case was too hard to prove and prosecute so there was no legal justice. I found out he had become increasingly unhinged and paranoid after I left.
To this day I'm not sure if he wanted to kill me and then claim my assets or just keep me under control. Sometimes to break away from such a person you must leave nearly everything material behind, even a home you own.
Years later he was still slandering my reputation to other people with completely outrageous stories and bizarre accusations. He passed away a couple years ago, it was only then that I felt completely safe that he would not show up at my door one day to finish me for "abandoning" him.
Chris Watts was also poisoning Sha'nann in the weeks or months before he annihilated his family.
He said he was trying to cause a miscarriage, but I think he was trying to end her along with the fetus. It is documented that she had some weird sick spells here and there and was especially unwell the days before the murders.
Chris said it was oxycontin or oxycodiene or something like that. I don't remember the exact name of the narcotic he was using to cause an overdose but he definitely did that.
While seeking revenge on a narcissist may be a tempting thought, it's essential to consider healthier alternatives for your own well-being. Channeling energy into personal growth, building a support system, and focusing on positive aspects of life can be more fulfilling. Revenge often perpetuates a cycle of negativity, whereas rising above and thriving independently becomes a powerful statement. Taking the high road not only protects your mental health but also serves as a testament to your strength and resilience.
Thank you for this video. My ex had weight issues when he was younger and everytime we went to dinner, if he overate, he would be in a sour mood and be silent on the entire drive back from the restaurant. He wouldn't say anything back if I asked something. If I tried touching him, he'd violently throw my hand off of him. It was so uncomfortable because I was confused. I realized later on that maybe he was frustrated because he overate. That was the least of our issues though. He would get frustrated so easily by the smallest things in life that I always worried if we were ever to have kids, he would give them depression because he would expect perfection even though he is far from it. Yet his mask outside makes him look as though he lived a perfect life inside. Not even close.
My ex-husband did this with the help of his friends. I lost my career, I had a severe mental breakdown...this video is making me see so many events from a different lens. He would give through the "normal" brooding state often and would explode with anger ....I was never good enough, pretty enough...he always separated me from his friend group. And there were always fights so he would have an excuse to go drinking/partying with his friends. I'm glad we're divorced. I fear that I will not be able to rebuild my life because of how much betrayal trauma and cptsd I am working through. I'm grateful for the peace I have now. I wasn't perfect...I have my own faults...I often question if I am the narcissist...very often ...these videos help me to ground myself again.
I had several people in my family plot to get me to give up my custody of my daughter and have me institutionalized. I suppose they were VERY threatened by my going to therapy and getting tratment for ptsd and my disabilities.
My little sister (the safe one ❤) told me about their plan and we packed our things and left in the night, as i was urged to do so by my therapists. Ive been so baffled until now. Thank you 😊
Im still scared they are stalking me again. But this really helps.
It's the narcs addiction to tear people apart. The absolute terror of losing a child.and thrown into an institutional would have given the toxic family years of narc supply. Thank God.for.your sister!
The bird is the word ❤
Who cares why. There's no cure. Just run and don't look back.
😮😅😂😅
Run
I did on my 45th birthday homeless.. best thing I ever did. 😂😂😂 started over in a druggy dump in a tiny box room filled with insects and dirt I remember lying there giggling because I had a plan. Savings investments home exercise good eating new skill set new jobs monk loner stay on track now I’m honed have money very fit strong employed and live in comfort the narc is in America dying off copd illegallyliving with a kkk member in a shack 😂😂😂
Difficult when it's your child
I think it matters. Some people can recognize if, they too, hold narcissistic traits. I did. I struggled dealing with a narc.mom and an employer who reflect the same characteristics but then I started to see bits of myself. These talks helped me to pinpoint and work through any ugly narc. tendencies.
Yes I believe me ex is still around and ripping me off every time I buy food, taking anything I have purchased that helps me get ahead or just get by. I'm constantly having to stay home after dark because that's when he strikes, if it's not him it's the pyschotic asses he's got believing I verbally assaulted him when he was the one that tried mentally abusing me,then emotionally and since neither one of those worked he went into physically abusing me. He would threaten me when fighting then suddenly attack me punching, slapping, kicking, hitting me by throwing objects, breaking my belongings, then accuse me of starting it. I got so sick of the bullshit I called him on being a Narcisist,he said I was one of course and now I have to watch my back constantly because he's out there stalking me and I hope going to jail soon for the physical abuse he put me through weekly for 10 months of hell. It's true, there is a very fine line between love and hate. I'll never trust anyone again, I decided 9 years ago to give up on men, I gave him a chance it figures the first man I get serious with turns out to be a covert violent Narcissist. Never again. I know the signs now and will never fall for the love bombing again..EVER!!
Heartbreaking to read the hell you have been put through, and still experience. But most heart wrenching is to hear your determination to never trust another man. As a woman who has also been betrayed by more than one of them, I still feel like I want to tell you that after having sworn off men at one time, I ran into one who was the best human being I ever knew. Fourteen years of love is what ensued after we met, and had prostate cancer not taken him, I believe we would still be living in a loving, rewarding life while each supported the other's dreams. I should have spoken more about how adamant I had been about NEVER trusting another man...I assure you, I was 100% determined! Yet...SO...just wanted to let you know life can be very strange, and that there ARE actually good, trustworthy men out there. I pray one will come into your life. Blessings to you dear.
Thank you. For reminding me that going after my victims rights in a pragmatic manner is healthy. As a victim, I’m often called the psychopath for having a reaction to abuse, (or a non reaction: Depending on what he’s looking for.) and especially now for not obeying and being submissive. I am scared for my life… but I can’t continue to be abused. I can’t.
Leave
Sometimes all you can bring with you is you
lots of love and light that you find your way out and into a healthy, beautiful life free from narcissistic abuse!! Stay strong and give yourself lots of self care!!!
You learn to hide emotions to survive. It's understandable. I hope you get free soon
@@tanyareneezaccardi7918 Thank you so much for your kind words! I am trying to get away now….. it’s not easy. But I am trying…
Compensation? Money is a major source of supply for them. That would be a extreme injury and revenge trigger. Better to forget about money and choose sanity.
Your insight always help Sam. The one thing I cant ever seem to grasp the concept of is why does the narc embark on this destructive and deadly goal of someone who truly cares for them and even understands they suffer from a psychological or personality disorder that they may deny, but can't disagree that they've been show love and mercy. Why does that individual deserve such a ruthless revenge in their eyes. Why not just walk away? Don't try to intentionally destroy or harm to the point of no recovery for that person....no full recovery, as before they mistakenly fell for the narc love bombing and naive acceptance that he's just a normal human being with imperfections, but a human with ability to understand humanity and humane actions versus inhumane. They are inhuman and ruthless for no reason and destroy good natured and big hearted people who have and would never act out to bring them intentional pain and hardship even though they deserve it.
Watch the shared fantasy playlist.
My narcissistic ex stalked me for 5 years., he was CrAZy!!!!!! He scared me more times than I can count…his obsession with me was incredibly toxic and affected me negatively for a lot longer than I care to admit. I still look over my shoulder whenever I leave the house. I’m thankful that he finally moved on and has left me alone (for the most part for the last few months). He promised he’d kill me if he ever saw me with another man. His eyes when he said that to me were evil, that’s the only way to describe it. His actions have scarred me for life. And I find myself looking very differently at all men; including the love of my life. I need help moving on from the traumatic experiences that man put me through so I can have peace and a normal relationship.
Arm yourself by any means necessary. Do whatever is necessary to put the fear of God into him from coming around. Hell, he’s most likely already defamed your character. Who cares if he calls you names, 🖕him. Stand your ground. Don’t bluff. Protect yourself!!! Don’t give him anymore power. He wants you to fear his pathetic a$$. They’re losers.
I speak from experience. ❤
@@NopeNotTodaySatan
I also, speak from several 'experiences...My advice to ANYONE going through such hardships right now...Go NO CONTACT. But DOCUMENT any and EVERYTHING for your Lawyer, for your own peace of mind, 'cause Gaslighting is REAL. Tangible PROOFS, be they, written, audio or video or all three, are some of the ways YOU can restore others trust in you, that the N tries SO hard to destroy.
And Embrace your freedoms...LIVE your LIFE, for YOU.
If you have Children? Make certain THEY too, get any mental help that can squash the N's, long arm reaching destructive behaviors, as well as become a LEGAL form of Documentations to protect your Children from past, current, and future behaviors of the N.
NEVER DOUBT IT. THIS IS a GAME to the N. One they are SO confident, THEY will win.
SO you have to throw away and BURN your Nice Person Rule Book you were raised on, and GET. REAL.
THEY WILL and CANNOT EVER, CHANGE.
However? YOU can!
Start with baby steps, and quickly work your way upward, out of the hole you dug yourself to 'hide in.'
ASAP? Change ANY 'current' Visitations, to NC for YOU with , or around them; and make it so THEY have to go to a heavily supervised Visitations schedule. DO NOT FOLD ON THIS! STAND STRONG FOR YOUR CHILDREN and THEIR FUTURE! STAND STRONG FOR YOURSELF.
Once their 'Court appointed ONLY, Visitation time is up for said visit; and they have fully driven away from the building, ONLY then, do you show your face and pick up your kids.
NEVER drive there, or away from the building, on the same route ever.
Always be aware of your surroundings.
It's hard, but unless you are willing; and able to gain full physical custody, do you legally LEAVE the STATE, and start over theirs and your lives, away from past and current dangers, and any further harms.
Teach them how to LIVE Life, especially for those out there, (the people and the children, IN THE MILLIONS, who no longer have one; due to the selfish, jealous ways, of their deadly Narcissist.
I thought the Painting outlet was awesome!
Mine is, and always has been Writing it all out, in Fan fic's and Original Stories; Lyrics, and Poems.
These two Hobbies, are GREAT OUTLETS in mentally dealing with emotional Abuses from the Past, Present and Future, until YOU figure out, how to R U N! (safely, as FAR away as you can get)
Once I discovered Wattpad, there I met some cool people and have enjoyed sharing this pastime with numerous others; as well as being a 'cautionary TRUE STORY' by sharing with and giving 'going there' proofs to others, as well as ALWAYS cautioning others, with practical ways, to stand back up, and keep keeping on, so they too, will have something to compare or contrast, and not feel so alone.
Back before ANY Social Media had been created, Isolation was such a brain killer! Body numbing horror!
Isolation is one of the N's favorite tools in their 'Crazy Bag' of 'Gonna kill your MIND TRICKS' and IF you had paid close attention to the person whom you once trusted; looking back on it all, you can NOW easily see, HOW the PROOF, of the formerly invisible lines of that forced matrix existence, they once kept you tied up in.
Only five years? I'm going on 25 years now
My ex was like yours and I'm always watching my back. I left him 4 years ago and he lives 3 streets away. Due to inflation, I can't move further away
This is a great video for anyone dealing with narcissists at work or in your friends and family circle. Took me til I was about 30 to realize my whole family were either covert narcissists or were enabling those narcissists. Since Im the black sheep, everyone wants to target me and blame me for the problems in the family.
One Black Sheep to another...IT NEVER ENDS.
It is up to you, to pick up your inner child, and hug it. Thank it for protecting you; and now, it is YOUR turn to protect it.
Listen to your inner child more. IGNORE the voices on the outside, of the evil, Soul and energy stealing N's surrounding you.
DO not give ANY of them fuel. Re connect with your Gut, aka your second Brain. Take care of your dietary health, 'cause YOu are the only YOU, ya got.
Re connect and forgive and ask forgiveness to your your: ID EGO and SUPER EGO, as next to the inner child, are the CORE, of YOU.
NOT the false self one THEY wanna see you as, the N has tried to create and construct through intimidations, real threats, and physical and mental and spiritual warfare, all of your life.
They are jealous, and cruel ROBOTS with no brain. No Heart and zero empathy and devoid of ALL of the Loves, especially Agape and Familia.
YOU are STRONGER than YOU give yourself Credit for.
Every day, show yourself, a healthy does of Vitamin L, LOVE, by saying 10 kind things, and having 10 sweet thoughts about, YOU.
LIVE your Life, don't let the PAST define, YOU, 'cause ONLy YOU know YOU best.
Look at a full length mirror, and re introduce yourself to YOU. And to your emotions as you climb out of your necessary mental hole, where YOU have been hiding from the N's.
Reassure yourself, YOU are SAFE, and how NOW, is 100% okay to:
😁🤣🤗🥰😍 EXPRESS YOURSELF, IN YOUR OWN WAY!
Do something nice for a stranger like paying a Toll for a car behind you...Sharing a Magazine or the newspaper with a neighbor. Get on a Volunteer List at your Church, or a local church to assist in handing out meals for people who cannot drive to a Soup Kitchen; during the holidays, just smile, and also find a way to give of your time to DO, the ONE thing, any N will call you 'stupid and gullible. for even wanting to do' and help total strangers, who are probably 'faking their needs' anyways...
YOU, are Better than the N. YOU have Empathy, and YOU can process and create Empathy and honest Sympathy for others, no matter their current plight, YOU know better. Change can happen, and then good things follow :)
The narcissist will never let others see with a truly are. They take out their abuse on their partner behind closed doors. When family comes to visit, they morph into the perfect husband and father. It’s quite amazing.
You can get some home improvements done with that trick. Tell them a member of their family to come visit, and they'll try to spruce up the dump they made of the house with their tantrums. I got some nice booksheves using that ploy.
I Love Love Love when the professor laughs of his own mischievous ways!!!😂😂
My daughter was married to a narcissist for over 10 years . He promised he would ruin her life for ever and goodness me he’s trying in every way he can. Thank god she got away even if he still won’t leave her alone now with threats. And yet somehow he manages to convince everyone he is the victim and a lovely man. I just don’t understand how he does it.
Document everything and get a restraining order.
Absolutely no conflict, no communication, you have to disappear from their lives and just hope they find another target. Silence is golden. Become boring. I'm sorry you're going through it.
Carry a mind changer at all times!
Become boring. Great idea. Better yet become bored with them. They want you obsessed.
@@di_decaire Yep.
Drowning them in mentally tangible, Full on, "Indifference" from YOU, is their Kryptonite! 🤯
It simply blows their 🤖robotic minds; as they NOW,
simply cannot compute the 'simple to YOU only those: where's; how's; whys; and when's, YOU stopped worshiping the ground they walked on!
HOW VERY DARE YOU, TO FULLY ESCAPE and cut those marionette strings! HOW VERY DARE YOU, to ACTUALLY WANT, LET ALONE ACHIEVE YOUR OWN LIFE;, MAKE NEW FRIENDS, AND TRY NEW THINGS; GET AND MAINTAIN YOUR OWN, SENSE OF SELF! 🤣😂😅😆😁
Thank you for making me aware of my own narcissistic traits! I used to blame everyone around me for all my problems until I finally decided to take responsibility for my own actions! Delighted to announce that I am no longer a victim but a victor! Praise God! A family that prays together stays together!✝️🕊️❤️
We all have narcissistic tendencies. rememb,er that identifying your issues and wanting to be the best person you can be and being accountable for yourself is a lot different than "blaming".✌
Congratulations on your success! Keep up the good work and remember to always self-reflect. That's the key.
Brightest blessings to you and your family! 😊
Thank you for generously sharing your knowledge. During the holidays I noticed the narcissist's behaviors can be worse, so I consider your good talk today as a public service/safety announcement 🙏
From what I have experienced it (relationship) gets worse. They get worse. I gave too many chances. It took me a long time to break out of my denial to see the patterns and escalation. I finally made a plan. I had to leave quickly, quietly, and won't EVER look back like Lot's wife did!
In Gods Name 🙏🏽
Yes!!! Why is it they screw up EVERY holiday, and for days???! Including your birthday. I reconciled with mine..I really got duped after being no contact for 1 1/2 years.. all a sudden he says God really did a number on him and he's not the same person he was... thank God, you'll see.... he cloaked..I messed up. He is less intense than before, but still the same cycles...attitudes, looks... all. Just in a less intense level, so far, but only remarried since last Sept....I knew on wedding night it was a no go that way, and on way home from honeymoon we were already fighting, he got stupid!!! I was sick with a UTI.... Don't think it will be long, 1st time it was 10 months, it won't be that....
This bloke has a profound understanding of narcissism
It’s because he is a NARC himself and highly intelligent! It’s true!! Look him up! I have his book.
I appreciate all the self aware narcissists I've been following. I spent age 20-40 trying to figure out what was happening. I wasn't even allowed to watch youtube probably bc he knew I could acquire knowledge.
They are aware of what they are doing and constantly live in fear of being found out so I have no doubt your narc did not want you acquiring knowledge.
I hope you are safe and happy now.
THE world expert on NPD. Many of his videos list his credentials. He “owns”, holds, the vast majority of credentials that exist on NPD, author, medical boards, papers , original studies, honorary chair board's , etc. No one comes close to his knowledge, insight, research, work, ability to teach on NPD 9professor) and more.
He’s beyond genius. Professor Sam Vaknin is a work of art. And, no, I don’t idolize him. I respect and honor him, even though he’s a narc and a few opinions that he’s expressed which I don’t agree with. His work is THAT important. He is the only narc I will EVER respect or honor.
.
The narcissist father of my children is soon 83 and is nearing the end. He has abandoned eight children. Three of them are mine. Only one of the daughters and one of our sons are there for him. He had the nerve to fire the maid/caretaker the two siblings hired. Then they found him passed out on the floor for who knows how long. Won’t go to a care facility. He just can’t stop trying to be in control. You are SO right on every point.
@@punkinhoot Your name says it all. Your contribution is not appreciated since you’ve not all the facts. Things beyond your ken, darling, requiring some life experience.
why would you ever trust a man that had already abandoned other children? did you think you were special or something. some somen need to be legally sterilized. shame on you for having kids with him in the first place.
This video so accurately describes my last relationship that it seems almost impossible that such a coincidence could exist. I was listening while cleaning my house and very early on stopped dead in my tracks and sat frozen listening to the remainder of the video……I just don’t understand how this could be.
Same 😮 this is one of the first times in my life I really had to stop what I was doing and sit and REALLY listen to what was been said.
Satan has many demons but one goal. It sounds similar because Satan works thru narcissistic people to destroy God's creation. Maybe narcs really have demons inside them. Not human souls
Omg me too! I even commented saying if I didn’t know better, I’d swear he personally knew my ex. Almost what u commented. It’s hard for me to believe that there’s more people as evil as him but I know there is. Stay strong love!
Malignant narcissism is the ideal love scenario that disguises the greedy using uncontrolled sexual grasping of the social predator.
The young and beautiful - you - are particularly at risk of these creatures/horror movie characters disguised as PG movie good guys.
I was raised by a narcissistic father and didn't even know or understand why he acted the way he did. I ended up marrying a narcissist and lived a nightmare for 16 years; now my daughter is married to a narcissist and I worry about her💔
I am so sorry, May she grow so strong to leave!! My son is this narc, my what a mess, so much pain...
Omg 😢praying God breaks the generational cycle
Same thing happened to me!@ we are not alone!
I was in a relationship with a narcissist for 8 years but ended last December when I found out he cheated on me for the whole 8 years. I've blocked him on all social media and I'm finally free
This is one of the most clearest and real presentations I’ve yet seen… it truly went into the mindset of this type of people…wow.
I don't take kindly to someone who wants me to fear them. My fear turns to Anger and that turns me into a deadly weapon. It would turn anyone into a weapon. If you want a fight, fight me yourself, don't send anyone else to fight your battle. Only cowards do that. It's been how many years now ? And I'm tired of being in this survival mode. I'm not running and I'm not hiding. Step up.
🤗. ✌🏼❤️🍷
I second that
Mine didn't realize I got full blown ASPD, BPD is not the only diagnosis, my ability to commit vengeful acts is night and day, cause I will go so much further then anyone else, why do narcs think they are god, GodK😂
Careful, rage causes ammunition for them.
Professor,I thoroughly absorbed every word you spoke.You explained my entire 33 years of marriage.I survived this and I am fighting to get myself back.Thankyou from the bottom of my heart
I went to school with people that had (and probably still have) narcissist tendencies. It's amazing that people believed the lies at face value. I cut my losses and went no contact on them. Nowadays? I'm picky on who I let in my sanctuary. Any one who attempts to disturb my peace is out. I will not deal with anything I don't have have to.
Walking away and staying away is the only answer. I know I have been a victim.
Oh man, I also get irritated and angry. Thank God I keep it to myself until I have calmed down.
revenge takes me nowhere, only a short satisfaction at most. it's better to leave them because one day they might fall into a much worse hands than mine. i've experienced this in the past, more than once. it feels good to not have to do anything about it, but later to just watch as calamity falls upon them. it's way of self-preservation.
This was helpful in understanding my psychotic narcissistic ex husband and the insane escalation of violence including attempted homicide of my son and I when he trapped us in a sealed vehicle parked in the sun. When I pleaded with him to unlock the car, via text he wrote “This will end awfully for you.” I am presently suing him.
They are straight up from HElLL that breaks it down perfectly... no heart no soul no morals no empathy just a empty shell..
Thank you so much for this! It explains exactly what I went through with the covert narc' out of control weekly rages. Will be sending this link to my lawyer in preparation for court. Seeking justice not revenge. The last thing I want is to turn into them.
This is essential knowledge for anyone who's dealing or dealt with a narcissist.
My narcissist father used to abuse me verbally and physically. I recalled a moment when he beat me up until I fainted, sometimes he used to wake me up by hitting me with a belt or ridicule me in front of other people. Thank God I married a good man and we moved to another country when I began my healing process. it’s been more than ten years to overcome his madness and stay away from people like him.
They have lied about me so badly that they have neighbors, friends, drones, and police, stalking and harassing me.
Awful for you. Keep your chin up and head on a swivel..hope you can find some peace of mind sometime in what's left of your life. Praying somehow you can escape their constant monitoring of your every move. If I as a total stranger, can feel compassion for you, that is evidence that someone else can/will also. Will also pray you meet up with another human being to keep you from living the nightmare in solitude. Blessings to you.
Same here. I took my son to his house one day and he didn’t come to the door. As I was driving away, the police were following me. He had told them that I was harassing him or something. He had stolen my dog from me and he was paranoid that I was trying to get her back. While we were standing outside with police the dog ran into my arms and I left with her. He was constantly lying about me.
A girl is being slandered by her community based on hearsay. Boyfriend Made up allegations portraying her as something she is not. Blaming her saying she is theft. She is about to go get kicked out and is misunderstood dismissed and being silenced. Being threatened to be sold as prostitute. This I real no lies.
Yup!° Same for me! But as a Christian I long know that God Almighty has His big eyes on all of them ANDHis bug hands ready at any moment to turn all their evils upon themselves!
Same. You are NOT ALONE. Know this.
Ive had many Narcissists in my life, i now shut people away to stay safe..
The problem is that technically we all have narcissistic traits but narcissism is diagnosed by being on the extreme end of the narcissistic spectrum.
I try to only socialise & associate with people that display obvious empathy & prove to me that they're not excessively self centred.
@@carpathianken Im 62 and lived so dont trust most people like I used to. Im currently in University doing my second year in BSc in Psychology, living and still learning.
@@Missladybug62 I like that despite you realising that people are innately untrustworthy it hasn't stopped you from aspiring to further your education & continue to learn. It's a shame that society doesn't seem to promote that behaviour anymore & it instead seems to rolemodel & encourage loud mouth extroversion
The BEST explanation of narcissism
It's been 23 years of my life and he's still trying to destroy the adult child and the minor child and the system thinks they can reunify the minor child with him by using someone who does reunification with sex offenders and murders so terrible to watch these fools believe they can trust people like this and he's shown them he can't respect boundaries or rules and continues to just side with him and how they "experience " him differently.
Fight on !!
Pray
I can say the "judicial system" is royally fked when it comes to Cluster B personality disorders, no matter which one however NPD's are the most toxic for obvious reasons. It's a screaming total shame your children must be subjected "with supervision" to his abuses when these idiots have zero clue what they are watching, what he is doin to his kids, and they cannot interpret his behavior. No wonder the jails are full of such damaged ppl. I wish you well in your journey.
That's usually how they do it, gossip, lies, manipulating other people's emotions and opinions of you.
He was a pillar of the community, never missed church and everyone believed him, including my own family! They accuse YOU of what THEY are doing.
I was so severely neglected and abandoned as a child 😢 that I idolized and spoiled my first born son...trying to just give him all the love I myself did not recieve as a child...hes 17 now..and yes he has narcissistic tendencies 😢
"Traumatizing you until you can never recover"". 🤚☠️
Oh you can recover, but you have to eliminate contact completely
@@Sarah-with-an-H Never recover means, you stayed with ill health, no money, no social net, no system helping, no job, no friends to help or turned against you by narc, aged - simply alone in and still married to narc. Once you want to leave, you have to go via a painful divorce which can kill you, leave you with nothing or without children turned against you, hurt or killed. This may mean '' Never recover''.
@@KatieS-o3o There’s always other options. Most cities have programs available even safe homes for people stuck in abusive situations.
@@KatieS-o3othat would be me. Everything that youbsaid
THEY will stop once you have them ARRESTED not once but several times if need be
I loved how the professor allowed and offers,at the end of the video to allow us to become punitive towards himself if we have been injured and wish "justice". Love his concise and keen sense of humor. I appreciate this man. Everything he said is wisdom explained with reference to the narcissistic personality and borderline personality and psychopath. Very interesting. Will definitely listen again.
Yes. I especially like his sense of humour. Bringing into situations that are so painful to discuss, he offers a bit of deserved respite. My thanks to you and to him.
I usually get bored over long videos but this one wasn't long enough!! Thank you so much!
Interestingly right
I am taking notes. My dream is to become a psychologist in crimonology with God's help. Thank you for your knowledge 🙏. You just describe my ex. Now I know who he is. The more I study the more I make decisions. 🎉🎉🎉
They NEED to put back all forms of Narcissistic behaviors, Into the DSM-5
Especially the MOST dangerous one, the Dark Triad; and the extensive damages and lives these monsters destroy and take, literally sacrifice, seconds, minutes, hours, weeks, months and yearly.
Please stay away and safe from your ex, so you can change lives in the future.
Even going to Women's shelters to share your experience, can save lives, when you look at the Statistics of how many act like salmon and return to their abusers, due to low self esteem, and no financial help to get themselves, or themselves and their children away from abuse. When abusive actions or words are normalized to children, studies have shown, they either will become abusers themselves, or be a lot more susceptible to accepting and tolerating abuses of themselves or their own children, than those who were never exposed to this unhealthy way of existence.
Best wishes you achieve your goals; inspire others, and save lives; and help to make our world, a better place...
🙏
I’m a borderline and love listening to your videos. They are so informative. I just escaped an abusive relationship with a sociopathic narcissist. These videos are so helpful. Thank you. ❤