@@LawTzuTao Most Africans are Homo Sapiens Sapiens, but most of the world is a mix of Homo Sapiens Sapiens and Neanderthal. So, there's still a bit of difference. That's why there are medicines for Africans exclusively.
This is the type of thing I love about JonTron being based in New York. Because Jon literally went outside, dressed and spoke like a shifty 1850 snake oil salesman as a way to insult and make fun of goop, and it probably wasn’t even the weirdest thing those people had seen all day
"I'm out here at the Up-N-Atom Burger lookin at my phone, and I had bleets from Goop! Why is Goop even bleetin me? Who cares what a snake oil has to say on Bleeter! 'Hey hey, we got new psychic vampire repellent!' I'm not followin you, you a snake oil, leave me alone! Back to you, FlyLo!"
The fact that I had no idea Gwyneth Paltrow was this unhinged really speaks to how good her acting skills are. She plays a very convincing normal person in movies
Honestly, fair enough. In this day and age, if someone tells you that they made their cookies "with a pinch of love", there's a small-but-above-zero chance that there's hair in it.
@@0riginal_zer030 im more concerned about the fact that there's FDA guidelines for how many insects can be in food. certain foods are allowed more or less bugs based on their chemical makeup and size
@@gwynethpaltro5313 What's funny is that they have a product with Cordyceps in it. For context Cordyceps has a sub strain that *Zombifies* ants called Ophiocordycepes unilateralis
3:30 ok but Jon’s improvisation with jokes is amazing. He says not to swear, and then immediately tells a random train going by to fuck off. The fact that train wasn't planned and yet he still tied it in with the joke of not swearing is comedic genius
Diana Burnwood : Agent 47 your next contract is Geweneth palthrogh cult leader behind the secret experiment with her sadistic and famous frequency torture many citizens in thousands as if they never existed eliminating her will not be easy she is constantly surrounded by a group of mega chads and karens many ICA agents have gone missing trying to eliminate her only to be found dead disembodied or disemboweld due to the testing of her various new products good luck and happy hunting 47 Edit : holy shit I got so many likes
The size of Jon’s balls for going in front of a goop store and role playing as a snake oil sailsman, while also criticizing their products is unbelievably funny as hell.
@II Romanmapper II Nobody cares and why would you comment like being the 1000th person to like a video is a reason to comment. You should get a life bud
The "which is real which is fake," segment really got me. Knew they were all real from the first time I saw the video (expected the joke, but the price of "How Goopy are You," addmitedly made me go "no way that's real," for a second), and I still laugh every time I see the reveal
@@carltonvonhammerstein well, if there’s one thing I’m not, it’s a fool. If she thinks I’m dumb enough to buy something like an overpriced bottle of gemstones that does nothing, I’ll make sure no one enters her stores again. Thanks to Flex Tape!
Nintendoo, Microsooft, Delloo, Hoop(hewlet packard), Samsoong, Loog, Gooe, Vizioo, Dailymootion, Discood, Eboo, Boong, Appoo....Yeah all of them have two O's somewhere.
@@doopdoopdopdop7424 ...Cordyceps* is a wide group of fungi that includes over 350 species. Not all of them are endoparasitoid and no, none of them can affect humans. They are popular as nootropics and are frequently consumed in capsules.
I think that's why she does this. There's a certain number of people that get a little bit of fame and then obsessively need to foster it into something... more. Her, L. Ron, R. Kelly, probably way more that I don't even want to think about.
@@magoswes3588 in hindsight the bowling ball's material and density might actually work as a.... Lifestyle (?) ball, but rubber coated with some aeration to reduce hard impacts
For those that are curious, the full ingredients list on the Psychic Vampire Repelant is: Sonically tuned water, rosewater, grain alchohol, sea salt, colloidal silver, theraputic grade oils of: rosmary, lavender, and juniper; a unique and complex blend of gem elixirs , including but not limited to: black tourmaline, labradorite, nuumite, black onyx, aqua aura, bloodstone, garnet, selenite, pyrite, tiger's eye, amethyst, lapis lazuli, ruby, and copper; love, mantras, moonlight, and reiki charged crystals. The more I look at this list, the worse it gets and the more questions I have.
@@isabellacoccia7031 Seems they took the saying "squeezing water from a rock" rather literally. Though from the look of the product, they still failed and opted to just leave the rocks in there.
@@anwd8646 Gwyneth? Well, I'm sure you have to be a little bit weird to be willing to pull off something like Goop. But I also suspect she also isn't fully buying the game either, but fuck if it isn't lucrative.
We all need just the uncut footage of him screaming at pedestrians in that wonderful getup. That was fantastic, and it baffles me how more people weren't entertained. I seriously have to wonder nobody even cracked a smile.
I love how Jon set up a fake snake oil medicine wagon in the middle of the city and yet no one flipped out because it's New York, where crazy stuff goes down on the streets all the time.
My Life is a Complex Pastiche her father is a famous actor so we should have expected the weird names. Lucky she hasn’t inflicted that ailment on her kids.... oh... actually, never mind
Fun fact: ‘psychic vampire’ is an actual term for someone who steals and feeds off of positive energy. So, basically: Gwyneth Paltrow sells a perfume to keep people from stealing your vibe.
Dr. Jonathan Tronley, mad scientist/snake oil salesman. Overwhelmed by his desire to have the greatest company with two O's in the name (and possibly driven to madness by drinking his own stock), he commands a deadly army of genetically enhanced giant snakes bent on destroying all of his rivals, and anyone who stands in his way.
Fun fact: the ingredients on labels are listed in order of how much of it is used (greatest amount to least amount). So, in a product called "everlasting love", the amount of love is actually used less than most of the ingredients on the label.
I have had to protect my junk form children running straight at me while they hold there hands out in a fist because they are pretending to be a super hero. They are a evil that must be stopped.
I love how when Jon says “they’re all real” you can just _feel_ his pure, unfiltered disappointment in the human race from just his line delivery alone
“All big internet companies have two ‘O’s in their title: Gwyneth Paltrow” Only on my second viewing of this video did I realize that goop is just her initials with two ‘o’s in it.
@@BeastOrGod so they mean nothing and she must thought goop would be taken serious god are Hollywood stairs that greed to make there own shit and sell it for thousands of dollars i mean souja boi already got a slap on the wrist who's gonna pull the next "big thing"
I thought I was never gonna come back to see this but I was wrong. It's still funny especially at 16:29 Jon is promoting Honey while they overrides affiliate links with its own tracking codes. Lol
@ihatescreennames89 She was married to Chris Martin and lived in London for ages, so it makes sense for her to use British slang. There are better things to get angry at.
Fun fact: goop used to claim that the stickers were made from the "same carbon linings used by NASA" in the space suits... then NASA engineers called them out and said there is no such carbon lining. 😅🤣
@@noless I'm not familiar with the entire catalog of items for sale, but I'd be willing to bet that the vast majority are nonsense. A lot of it the placebo effect. Why anyone would trust a website that sells stickers for $150 that claim to do nonsense like "redirecting your body's flow of energy" is beyond me. We spend years in school to practice medicine for a reason. Sorry... I'm really pissed at these sort of people at the moment. An idiot woman threw a party promoting some of this nonsense and now there are 30 new cases of COVID19.
When I went to work at Crate and Barrel, my trainer (who gave no shits, loved her) told us they were dropping Goop because it's bullshit and terrible quality.
Iron Man: "I am Iron Man"
Goopeth Paltrow: "I am African"
wakanda forever!
To be fair. Technically, we're all African.
Maybe South African?
Gweneth paltro: I am Nigel west dickens
@@LawTzuTao Most Africans are Homo Sapiens Sapiens, but most of the world is a mix of Homo Sapiens Sapiens and Neanderthal. So, there's still a bit of difference. That's why there are medicines for Africans exclusively.
Jontron has got some balls to start dissing a store while being directly across from them, and I respect that
True dat
What are they going to do to him, really? Not much, I'm thinking.
@@Tunkkis what are they gonna do? massage him?
Especially dressed in period costume with a literal carriage stall
They will give him a free bottle of carbonated dragon’s breath for the cart
I respect that you actually went on location for that dope ass snake oil joke.
Jonathon Tronley don't play
Jantrans still got it!
But does this make up for that Walmart/EA add.. i mean "video"?!?
@@rnbmeister I see you have heard the stories of the Tronley clan.
Which video?
Doesn't he already live in New York City?
This is the type of thing I love about JonTron being based in New York. Because Jon literally went outside, dressed and spoke like a shifty 1850 snake oil salesman as a way to insult and make fun of goop, and it probably wasn’t even the weirdest thing those people had seen all day
He really went out there to do that XD just funny how people standing there watching too
It's NYC. They've probably seen some pretty weird stuff.
@@twistedyogertunfortunately, probably not the real Spidey swinging around
Yall remember that one guy who tried to promote his cult at the end of his “Christmas with the Kranks” video he did a while back?
At least with the vodka in a skull bottle, you get vodka and a skull bottle.
You never throw away the skull bottle either.
Because it's a skull bottle.
Underated comment
Exactly
Crystal head vodka?
I got a mini sized one as a bday present a year ago and I still have the bottle
Honestly, I'd take an entire series of Jontron, dressed like he's in Renaissance, reading dumb celebrity tweets to Skyrim ambient music.
Honestly, I'd take an entire series of Jonathan Tronley, dressed in an 1800s outfit selling old-time medicine products.
yes
I'll take your entire stock!
I loved the Skyrim music in the background
I just need more anachronistic Jon
Goop is like one of those joke ads in gta5 you can hear on the in game radio
"I'm out here at the Up-N-Atom Burger lookin at my phone, and I had bleets from Goop! Why is Goop even bleetin me? Who cares what a snake oil has to say on Bleeter! 'Hey hey, we got new psychic vampire repellent!' I'm not followin you, you a snake oil, leave me alone! Back to you, FlyLo!"
goop is lake appel
I just bought the latest jacket at Victim dude.
Very eloquently said.
Shippmeh YESSSSSS
“$200 for god knows what? Even you’re not that stupid.”
That cut to the woman, honestly, looks like she’s trying to solve a calculus problem.
She looks like she about to fight jon
@@trxshmonke6590 yeah it's that new York charm
Conflicted between should I buy this or hit him
She’s calculating how to attack John without endangering her unborn child
She has a pretty mean Death Glare.
Jon has straight up went from “look at these wacky old games” to “we need to dismantle all of these celebrity scams”
@@unrealistic1140 Username checks out.
it mustve took him like 5 years to edit this? this shits long gone
@@judsongaiden9878 You said everything I wanted to say. I could imagine some pseudoscientist scam artist trying his best to shut this down.
Except for flex tape
@@potaterjim surprisingly enough, you're right. Flex Tape is actually a decent product
The fact that I had no idea Gwyneth Paltrow was this unhinged really speaks to how good her acting skills are. She plays a very convincing normal person in movies
Yeah exactly. good actors are actually crazy af.
@@arthurchong5271 isn't tom cruise related to the scientology
@@ringo69420 yea
@@ringo69420 Yeah Scientologys last name is cruise they're cousins
Indeed she does
I kinda really respect that JonTron (and the team) basically set up a form of public protest against the store.
and one of the most accurate form of parody.
Yeah, that's actually awesome, I didn't believe when he shows that they were in from of the goop store
Truly a gentleman's sport
Jontron always spitting out quality videos
That's true. That is pretty cool. I can't believe Gwyneth Paltrow is behind a scam like that
Fun fact: you cannot, legally, claim love as an ingredient.
Honestly, fair enough. In this day and age, if someone tells you that they made their cookies "with a pinch of love", there's a small-but-above-zero chance that there's hair in it.
That's why it's the ingredient that's kept secret
Unless is "love" (TM)
@@0riginal_zer030 im more concerned about the fact that there's FDA guidelines for how many insects can be in food. certain foods are allowed more or less bugs based on their chemical makeup and size
@@colinsteadland Why is that concerning?? It's just bugs, it happens.
The look of disgust that people give Jon on the street is pure fucking gold.
I would be giggling my ass off if I was one of those people
Goop shoppers ... sorry goop shoppers
They probably thought Punk'd got revived
that one lady that was going into goop
15:06 is the best
"They're all real"
That shit had me laughing so hard.
Why? What's so funny?
@@gwynethpaltro5313 what's funny is that they're selling mustard bath lmao
I spit my tea out at that part.
that one took me by surprise actually, i had to at least chuckle
@@gwynethpaltro5313
What's funny is that they have a product with Cordyceps in it.
For context Cordyceps has a sub strain that *Zombifies* ants called Ophiocordycepes unilateralis
Ok for realsies.... That snake oil salesman act was top notch.
TheLichruler I would trust him over goop
I'd buy that snakeoil just to help sponsor the show
there's gotta be vitamins in there somewhere!!!
Best thing I've seen in a long time!
This dude legit rolled a wagon from the 1800s in front of her store just for a 3 minute gag. Gotta love Jon!
3:30 ok but Jon’s improvisation with jokes is amazing. He says not to swear, and then immediately tells a random train going by to fuck off. The fact that train wasn't planned and yet he still tied it in with the joke of not swearing is comedic genius
"I can't pretend to be someone who makes $25,000 a year."
Isn't pretending to be other people literally her job?
How dare you. Her "job" if you want to conform a lifestyle calling down to that simple 3 letter word, is selling LIFE SAVING VITAL HEALTH PRODUCTS
I wonder if she pretends to believe her own bullshit.
Thats all tony stark paying her
But she always plays someone who's well off
She doesn't bring her work home with her?
She's a facebook mom who has evolved into her final form
thats a nice one.
@@ploed a super karen if you will
Diana Burnwood : Agent 47 your next contract is Geweneth palthrogh cult leader behind the secret experiment with her sadistic and famous frequency torture many citizens in thousands as if they never existed
eliminating her will not be easy she is constantly surrounded by a group of mega chads and karens many ICA agents have gone missing trying to eliminate her only to be found dead disembodied or disemboweld due to the testing of her various new products good luck and happy hunting 47
Edit : holy shit I got so many likes
This isn't even her final form
@@nanaazad like my comment
The size of Jon’s balls for going in front of a goop store and role playing as a snake oil sailsman, while also criticizing their products is unbelievably funny as hell.
I would pay actual money to see him do that in person
That was impressive acting to be honest
im only commenting because i snagged the exact 1000th like. I know that sounds dumb but I find that impressive.
That was a pretty funny bit
@II Romanmapper II Nobody cares and why would you comment like being the 1000th person to like a video is a reason to comment. You should get a life bud
"With Cordyceps"
Well, if The Last of Us ends up happening, we can blame Gwyneth Paltrow.
Alright
Cordyceps are actually pretty damn tasty! I’ve had them in Hong Kong style food before.
@@VorpalStormit's been two months since you posted your comment and you're in the process of becoming a Runner looking for your prey.
@@22ninja1 I am but not because of the cordyceps. :)
@@VorpalStorm because you are horny man?
The fact that he put a literal snake oil wagon right outside of Goop store made this a next level video.
I was in awe. That was brilliant.
The beast way to roast a charlatan.
*Respect.*
it’s fucking great 😂😂😂
If i worked at that store I’ll be fired on the spot because i would be laughing my ass off that shit XD
“I am Iron Man” - RDJ
“I am African” - Gwyneth Paltrow
FRISHR this needs to be more popular
@@aydenulery9562 agreed
Avengers: Endgame alternate ending:
Thanos: I... am... inevitable.
Pepper Potts: And I... am...
African.
FRISHR Rdj actually has “You know who i am” in his bio 😂
I don't think that checks out
Stark industries sure got weird after Pepper Potts inherited the company.
😆
The world was better off with the missiles.
CDKing I sub to you
Yeah glad I sold my stock before all of this!
Thanos snapped the wrong girl
You have to admit, the theragun doom part was hilarious
i dont gotta admit anything.Ill never tell
@@Rowsy91 we’ll make you admit it one of these days
This wise here thinks we are all snitches here
@@Rowsy91 hey you said it you gotta spill the beans
imagine relaxing with the sound of a heavy duty breaker
Jon’s ability to keep a completely straight face and not break character when actual people are watching him is honestly astounding.
That's what theatre experience will do for you.
And yet break character in his own skits.
You should see barbeque salesmen at Costco... because by comparison, Jon is just having fun.
Who said he's a character?????
He went to theater school. I think he did a bit with standup too, so he's probably practiced it.
After losing her husband, Pepper Potts quickly descended into madness.
AWSUMSAS just take My Like
No
😂😭
It turns out the one who needed rescuing was Rescue herself. :(
She turns from technology and science because she believes it's the very thing that killed him
_"Crushed Snakes, Gotta be Vitamins in there somewhere."_
_-Dr. Johnattan Tronley, PHD_
still somehow more logical than any goop product
what the fuck are you doing here singed?
I thought it was "trust snakes"
PhD in what, Sideburnology?
This doctor help me survive with high stadium cancer
"If we don't put a stop to Gwyneth Paltrow, Gwyneth Paltrow is gonna put a stop to us! Come on, people! Hannibal's onboard!"
- Eric Andre
That snake oil salesman bit was absolute gold. What production value, and you even went near the store, that’s rad.
It really was. Lol.
I kinda want it on the merch store lol
You can tell the cultists by their passed off faces
Epic gamer move
-"hyaluronic serum whatever the fuck that is..." epic face
Lost it haha
oh god she just took her initials, GP, and put two O's in between them
Gweneth Paltrow, oo!
Can't wait for Jon to open Joot!
@@alexhb12333 jooj (Jon Jafari)
Poog
Gpoo
@@yaboichrys5148 sound like something from a YTP
“ONE ingredient!”
“Crushed Snakes!”
“...gotta be vitamins in there SOMEWHERE...”
I love this one!
“Mustard bath?”
“You ever heard of HEINZ?”
777 Likes. Go to Vegas.
and sued by NASA
The "which is real which is fake," segment really got me. Knew they were all real from the first time I saw the video (expected the joke, but the price of "How Goopy are You," addmitedly made me go "no way that's real," for a second), and I still laugh every time I see the reveal
I love how her cream literally has Fool’s Gold inside it
I feel like she's trying to tell us something with that.
@@carltonvonhammersteinthat it’s foolish to buy this or that she’s the fool?
@@asherrudick3912 Either that or you're the fool for buying it.
@@carltonvonhammerstein well, if there’s one thing I’m not, it’s a fool. If she thinks I’m dumb enough to buy something like an overpriced bottle of gemstones that does nothing, I’ll make sure no one enters her stores again. Thanks to Flex Tape!
"All online companies have two o's."
So she took that, and just combined her initials to make "Goop." Truly a marketing genius.
All you do is hating, your mad sheis most of an entremanure than yooll evre berewf!!
Duckarooni “Amazoon”
“Twitoor”
“America Oonline”
Ha Ha ...Hahaha!😆
Nintendoo, Microsooft, Delloo, Hoop(hewlet packard), Samsoong, Loog, Gooe, Vizioo, Dailymootion, Discood, Eboo, Boong, Appoo....Yeah all of them have two O's somewhere.
Soopercell, Vaoolve,
"the sun is natural! how can it be bad for you?"
I petition we throw gwyneth paltrow into the sun to test her hypothesis
wahaa nice thought
I second this
but that would be actual science, preforming experiments and collecting data ya know, cant have that.
Zactly
Someone send her a link about “melanoma”
I should have known this was just an excuse for Jon to start a cult again
So how many does this make
C'mon jon, we haven't named our last cult and there you go starting another one again
Again? Darnit, I missed out on joining the first one!
when you cannot get movie roles anymore..
Again?
Charlotte: I really want that milk maker to be real.
Jon: Well I got some good news for you!
Robert Downey, Jr. : "I am Iron Man"
Gwyneth Paltrow : "I am African"
@Pat Fry
Pat Fry: "I am salty"
iiSuperWomanii = I am bisexual woman of colour
Razenoid15: i am hungry
Luisa Frugoli: i am a potato
Stolen
"One ingredient: crushed snakes! Gotta be vitamins in there somewhere!" That one got me.
The pregnant lady staring was the best part xD
I'm going to use that for DnD
It's now a meme, a popular one
@@tepidtamale "even youre not that stupid"
@@omrilevy8481 spoiler alert; she is
$120 for an Automatic Nut Milk Maker is pretty ridiculous considering about half of us were born with a free one
n u t m i l k
*N U T M I L K*
Got to have that nut maker
Wouldn't be 2?
Wait but if it’s from humans it’s not vegan
the part where he popped the yoga ball had me in stitches
The yoga ball probably is now too
Dude it made me spit my coffee out🤣🤣🤣🤣
Same! I spit all over my phone 😂
someone's gotta find the Bring Me to Life Jazz Remix in there I need that
9:00
It's not a JonTron video until he starts yelling at the public.
Right? What a crazy old grandpa. I liked him better on Game Grumps!
@@gwynethpaltro5313 he's much better off without Arin.
Seeing him do this gives me anxiety xD
ever heard of HEINZ!?
I lost it at that bit. Jon has the 1860s snake oil salesman act down pat. Might as well add him to Red Dead right now.
The “they’re all real” line shocked me more than anything this year.
I think most of us saw that coming since before they started watching the vid tho.
Wait, one with CORTISEPS?!?! THE MIND CONTROL FUNGUS?!?!
@@doopdoopdopdop7424 ...Cordyceps* is a wide group of fungi that includes over 350 species. Not all of them are endoparasitoid and no, none of them can affect humans. They are popular as nootropics and are frequently consumed in capsules.
EterniTea don’t mind him. I drove him nuts with a GT episode in fungi.
Even the electric chair?
"All big internet companies have two 'O's in their title"
_JonTron_
Joontroon
@@TheMysticS69 you can say that JonTron already have 2 o, jOn trOn
@@fabiomora6491 so does microsoft or microsooft
Scott the woz
Lool
Did anyone else notice that children were on the list of natural things that can harm you 😂
"Kids are cruel, Jack"
@@__Insanity_ “And I’m very in touch with my inner child.”
I think he meant giving birth
@@Mister-Red No
@@__Insanity_ "And I LIKE MINORS."
/max0r 😛
I won't lie, this video is the first time I've remembered Gwyneth Paltrow even exists as a person.
i saw her recently, i a photo with bill clinton and jeffrey epstein on his island...
I think that's why she does this. There's a certain number of people that get a little bit of fame and then obsessively need to foster it into something... more. Her, L. Ron, R. Kelly, probably way more that I don't even want to think about.
I had her prettier in memory, showing her ugly character immediately made her dislikable and ruined it all for me. :(
I didn't know who she was before
Gwyneth Paltrow is just an idea
Jon is legitimately a very good actor. The snake oil merchant bit proves that.
His theater background payed off
He is also a surprisingly good singer.
Sure, that one bit proved it, not the years and years of other bits he's done...?
i don’t know who jon is, that’s timothy brentwood
@@jakehayes3466 Then let me rephrase: The snake oil merchant bit proves it further.
"gotta be vitamins in there somewhere" should be the slogan of every alternative medicine company
Goop: "Nutrition's probably somewhere in there."
The real vampire repellent were the friends we made along the way
He deserves an award for bustin their balls in front of the store like that
He also deserves a reward for busting their undersized yoga balls
At this point I'd rather use a bowling ball for it
@@ArcturusOTE :D
Yayo' Ariowibowo It would definitely be sturdier
@@magoswes3588 in hindsight the bowling ball's material and density might actually work as a.... Lifestyle (?) ball, but rubber coated with some aeration to reduce hard impacts
I’m just more surprised how he got that wagon
I know he has like a professional team but like still that’s dedication
The inclusion of pyrite is hilarious, because it means that they are selling literal fools gold as well as metaphorical
Biochem really be f*cking with me, read this as pyruvate
@@IAOIceland1984 big mood lol
@@IAOIceland1984 I’m getting flashbacks to the Krebs cycle and I don’t like it
@@dylanblack8714 forget Krebs cycle, embrace crab cycle
@@IAOIceland1984 mood
“I am african”
*Pulls our giant 32x56 picture of Gwyneth Paltrow framed in spruce wood*
Yeah he has a problem
ToxicSkull0 we found a goofy gooper everyone.
"pulls our"
YES COMRADE
Mike Jarington funny Soviet Union joke, lets play anthem, funny ha ha hilarious
do you think he still has it? asking for a friend
If you pause at 12:40 there’s an oxygen machine of some kind that’s labeled “bulletproof”
I think that was the silliest part of that BS company lol
What.
The.
Hell?
Bulletproof Oxygen, to be exact.
Because Oxygen is is scientifically proven able to stop bullets.
To be fair i think thats just the Brand name of the machine itself not any claim about it being bulletproof
The amount of disappointment on Jon's face when he says "They're all real."
I felt that.
But "nut milk maker"? Why is that real? What does it do?
@@bumbowumbo281 make nut milk
I did too. He's like. What the frack is she doing. Lol.
Zackery Degonia to be honest, the nit milk maker was probably the MOST useful thing on that list. At least it ACTUALLY does something, technically.
@@bumbowumbo281 Are you sure, you wanna to know😂
"I can't pretend to be somebody who makes $25,000 a year." That may be the single most arrogant sentence I've ever heard in my life.
@Oscar Wind My brainwaves are multiple levels above yours, not to be arrogant, but this fact is just an obvious things to know.
It's on the same level as people who claim that they have an IQ of 200 but she's not lying
@@Flamme-Sanabi my brain waves are in the negatives meaning im brain dead
*I don't mean to brag, but I'm going to anyway.*
That sounds like something Tony Stark would say
“We’re human beings and the sun is the sun - how can it be bad for you?” laughs in skin cancer
laughs in quite literally almost everything
Corona!
*Chuckles in Australian*
*laughs in hot giant hydrogen ball*
Laughs in water.
Yes too much water can kill you.
For those that are curious, the full ingredients list on the Psychic Vampire Repelant is:
Sonically tuned water, rosewater, grain alchohol, sea salt, colloidal silver, theraputic grade oils of: rosmary, lavender, and juniper; a unique and complex blend of gem elixirs , including but not limited to: black tourmaline, labradorite, nuumite, black onyx, aqua aura, bloodstone, garnet, selenite, pyrite, tiger's eye, amethyst, lapis lazuli, ruby, and copper; love, mantras, moonlight, and reiki charged crystals.
The more I look at this list, the worse it gets and the more questions I have.
How tf do you get a "gem elixir"??
Love? Mantras? FREAKING MOONLIGHT? Is this woman okay in the head? How do you put a mantra into a bottle?
@An Wd I wanna know how you get moonlight in a bottle…
@@isabellacoccia7031 Seems they took the saying "squeezing water from a rock" rather literally. Though from the look of the product, they still failed and opted to just leave the rocks in there.
@@anwd8646 Gwyneth? Well, I'm sure you have to be a little bit weird to be willing to pull off something like Goop. But I also suspect she also isn't fully buying the game either, but fuck if it isn't lucrative.
Jon. Jon is there just multiple hours of you standing in front of Goop shouting at them?
I need this footage Jon.
We all need just the uncut footage of him screaming at pedestrians in that wonderful getup. That was fantastic, and it baffles me how more people weren't entertained. I seriously have to wonder nobody even cracked a smile.
I'm into this as well. Please, Jon, for your fellow Jons in the world, release this content.
@@ToaKoran Im thinking because it's New York and it's nothing new to them.
@@ToaKoran I'm 90 percent sure this wasn't the first he did it,there prolly use to it
I'm sorry, Jon.
"I'd rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin."
Explains quite a bit, really
Of I smoked more crack I would definitely eat cheese out of a tin
Wait, is tinned cheese a real thing?
@@i_teleported_bread7404 probably just in some countries, but I definitely remember Kraft having canned cheddar cheese.
Fr though i WOULD rather smoke crack than eat american cheese, that shit is straight up plastic
@@nataliealphonse4634 I enjoy the plastic
I'm sorry, are we not gonna talk about the "Bulletproof oxygen?"
I didn’t notice it before but now I hate it
What?
@@scottland8698 where when why and don't forget who
Excuse me what the fuck did you just say....
At 12:40 the oxygen tank is labled bullet proof oxygen
I love how Jon set up a fake snake oil medicine wagon in the middle of the city and yet no one flipped out because it's New York, where crazy stuff goes down on the streets all the time.
“They were all real”
I don’t think I’ve laughed harder in my life.
I'm sorry.
first time I actually got worried I'd pass out from laughing
and he said that with a straight face
the worst part is one of those products has the FUCKING LAST OF US MUSHROOM IN IT!!
@@Roboshi2007 The one that basically zombifies ants?
I'm at the point where I think Pepper Potts is a real person and Gwyneth is the character SHE plays
Honestly I thought Gwyneth Paltrow was just a 3D CG Rendered Model
she looks completely different as pepper so it helps also she doesnt come off as a douche
@@kevenwoods7939 That would explain why my mind was blown when I found out they were the same person. She's actually hot as Pepper
Pepper Potts is a lot more competent lmao
That's celebrities for you, less human than the characters they play
"I can't pretend to be someone who makes $25,000 a year."
You're an actress! Your job is literally to do that!
But is she a GOOD one?
She's admitting she's not a very good one
That's also disguistingly condescending.
If an actress in the MCU is make 25,000 she must not be very good.
I think she was passing remark towards to us "normal" citizens
The FDA says “Love” cannot be listed as an ingredient.
“I don’t think anything natural can be bad for you”
Jontron: Children
Right below the platypus
@@gamedudex8522 PERRY the Platypus?
thekydragon doofenshmerts evil incorporated
Sweat shopper
Pregnancy and childbirth are unironically terrible for your health, so he's not wrong.
"Has Goop changed your life?"
"Well yes, I am thousand of pounds in debt"
Where we're from, they're called dollars, you filthy commie!
+Stephen Harper Well obviously you can't be in debt if you are using such a strong currency as dollar.
cough
cough
@@MrSamulai you're never truly in debt as long as you have more weapons than everyone else
@Cee_ Eisen thats probably why we're in a national debt crisis...
Get out of here tea drinker.
"They're all real." I was not physically nor spiritually prepared for that
I almost flatlined at that point and never recovered. 😂😂😂😂
Sounds like you need some spiritual goop
I expected it and it still isn't better
I love nobody pointed out the absolutely murderous look the pregnant woman was throwing at Jon when he was in front of the goop store.
Maybe she was looking at the camera crew.
Can we just talk about how big of a legend he is for trash talking goop right in front of one of their stores?
you mean a raid shadow legend?
I’ve got big balls - AcDc
Yeah, holding a speech as a western-snakes oil salesman in front of that store, was quite fantastic! He ´s a gem
Hell yeah
Our English teacher showed us that video to talk to us about bullshit medical practice
Gwyneth Paltrow sounds like the name of a Dark Souls II boss.
My Life is a Complex Pastiche lol, true!
Ohhhh. So THAT is why Vendrick looks that way.
My Life is a Complex Pastiche her father is a famous actor so we should have expected the weird names. Lucky she hasn’t inflicted that ailment on her kids.... oh... actually, never mind
I love how “children” is one of the natural dangers in then list he has
‘Tis true, lads
Platypus
i mean
hes not wrong
"There is only one thing worse than a rapist"
Gwyneth: A child
And oxygen
I only just now noticed that Linkara is in the psychic vampire's crystal ball
So did you learn you lesson, hmmmm?
"They're all real" hit me like a sack of bricks.
i fucking died
brick number 1.
My children?
Hhahaha yeah I had to go back to the "Ash and Ember Eye Soot" like who in fuck puts that shit on there eyes ahahah
Koal Stolz that was the turning point in the video.
Fun fact: ‘psychic vampire’ is an actual term for someone who steals and feeds off of positive energy. So, basically:
Gwyneth Paltrow sells a perfume to keep people from stealing your vibe.
I prefer the term "Vibe Leach".
I wonder....... is there a term for someone who 'steals' money by feeding off the gullibility and fragility of people under the guise of helping them?
So it's a Vibe Check shield?
🤔 so Gwenyth “OO” Paltrow has something in common with Alex “Eatin People” Jones
@@SopeV0point1 it's called Gwyneth Paltrow
This is JonTron's audition to be the next MCU main villain.
Pepper’s arch enemy! 😱
Goop...she named my life’s world...to Goop.
joot is a good name it has 2 o's , just like every evil corp ever
more like anti-villian, like deadpool
Dr. Jonathan Tronley, mad scientist/snake oil salesman. Overwhelmed by his desire to have the greatest company with two O's in the name (and possibly driven to madness by drinking his own stock), he commands a deadly army of genetically enhanced giant snakes bent on destroying all of his rivals, and anyone who stands in his way.
Fun fact: the ingredients on labels are listed in order of how much of it is used (greatest amount to least amount). So, in a product called "everlasting love", the amount of love is actually used less than most of the ingredients on the label.
15:01: Even you are not that stupid.
Lady: 👁 👁
👃
👄
She looked so angry lmao
@@jaxafrass7777 The best part is she's probably still upset about it lmfao
@@jaxafrass7777 she had a wild caveman stare.
I guess she was a Cave ma'am
She is mad-dogging him duude.
"Aight, I won't be shopping in GOOP, but you'll be eating thijrendslkfskjl"
I don’t get how people just walked past that performance
I’d be pretty entertained by that
That one woman seemed mesmerized haha
They are New Yorker's that is why
Its New York fam. You learn to ignore shit like that
Sociatah does not compute
People in New York are desensitized to just about anything.
Soulja Boy went into the wrong racket. He should have been selling beauty products and vampire repellent instead of game consoles.
Souljagoop, souljastickers, souljaoil. He would’ve made bank by now.
and soulja is still less wacko than her
But hes just a boy with a dream, remember?
16:16 .. that one didn't age quite so well..!
It's so fucking funny that quote is I the same episode as a Honey sponsor 😂
"Nothing natural can be bad for you"
Jon: "children"
I have had to protect my junk form children running straight at me while they hold there hands out in a fist because they are pretending to be a super hero.
They are a evil that must be stopped.
Children are the epitome of pure evil
I know because I was once a child and I was an asshole and the other children were also assholes.
*Bad?
Rasend0ri yea whoops, autocorrect
Sgt Wolf the Victorians knew these horrors for what they are which is why they were used to work to distract them from the ball busting punches
I love how when Jon says “they’re all real” you can just _feel_ his pure, unfiltered disappointment in the human race from just his line delivery alone
I like how him and his wife both just laughed after he said that.
@@bigkmoviesandgames
You could hear the disappointment in his voice when Charlotte said she’d buy the book.
@@jackdaone6469 to be fair I'd be disappointed too lol.
timestamp for those who need it:
6:18
So I make this comment two years earlier, and I only get 33 likes? The algorithm, man...
4:03 Jon's focused on the $90 price. I'm focused on the fact it's called Balls in the Air.
So did I ..
The Fresh Prince of Balls Air
@@MrLDAndrade underrated comment
Sometimes balls ARE in the air, okay? It's a clever title. Also a totally legit product. People in China would KILL to pay $90 for this.
Gwyneth Paltro it’s a joke lol
We need more brave souls in the world like Jon, who will set up a snake oil booth outside of an actual goop store. Outstanding.
I love how everyone looked at Jon at the end like he was the crazy one when the people across from him sell rocks in mineral water for *65 DOLLARS*
What ya gotta realize is that to them, hes not internet celebrity jontron, hes the weird video guy that shows up every few weeks and screams.
Goddamnit They're not rocks Marie they're minerals!
"One ingredient, crushed snakes. There's gotta be vitamins in there some where"
"which by the way is $600"
me: Wow, that's expensive. What kind of absolute idiot ever buy that?
*next scene Jon is holding one*
Easily a $2,000 investment after the set light he destroyed with it.
Maybe he got it on Amazon for twenty bucks.
“Ya ever heard of HEIIIIINZZZ?” 😂
1:35
JonTron has two “O’s” in this company title
What a fucking legend
JonTronShow has 3! That means he's going to be bigger than Google and Amazon combined.
samsoong
Neootflioox
Yootooobe
Missed opportunity not using joot
“All big internet companies have two ‘O’s in their title: Gwyneth Paltrow”
Only on my second viewing of this video did I realize that goop is just her initials with two ‘o’s in it.
Only when reading this comment did that occur to me
@@BioticPlatypus i figuered that much but i wonder what the fuck the O's are meant to be
@@JesusRuiz-gb4is She saw Google and thought "I know the secret to success!"
@@BeastOrGod so they mean nothing and she must thought goop would be taken serious god are Hollywood stairs that greed to make there own shit and sell it for thousands of dollars i mean souja boi already got a slap on the wrist who's gonna pull the next "big thing"
and those O's represent her TITS
"Mustard Bath?..."
"Ever heard of HEEEIIIIINNNZZ?!"
Now isn't that a tasty makeover, lady friends? From drab to fab with nothing but mustard! homestar runner
Goes good on hotdogs too.
French's or bust
the fact nobody replied Doofenshmirtz made me sad so here you go. Ever heard of HEEEIIIIIINNNZZ! YEAH DR. HEINZ Doofenshmirtz.
@@cadensawyer6593 Curse you Perry the platypus!
Jontron's inclusion of oxygen in his list of natural things that are bad for you is one of the most hilariously intelligent things he's ever done.
Yeah - try huffing pure oxygen - see what happens!!
Fwoosh.
I mean, pure oxygen can outright kill you, which is why the atmosphere we breathe contains mostly nitrogen and some other gases like argon
“I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin”.
So it’s safe to assume she enjoys eating cheese from a tin.
You never know
ExposedKitten 8254 She’s a smart woman.
Or theres something we dont know
I personally prefer my cheese from a can
Also Ligers? Care to theorize as to what those could be?
God, Stark Industries really went into a nosedive after Tony's death
Spider-Gwen oof
Tony is rolling in his grave
@1000 subscribers without a single video Bruh... 😔
That's a nice suit.
"Only one ingredient, crushed snakes! Has to be vitamins in there somewhere" solid gold, I busted up.
Haha😂
literally made me spit noodles onto my laptop
better take that solid gold to the bullion depository
Such a good line.
@@urmomshouse this comment made me spit chips onto my laptop... thx
I thought I was never gonna come back to see this but I was wrong. It's still funny especially at 16:29 Jon is promoting Honey while they overrides affiliate links with its own tracking codes. Lol
"I'd rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin" is my new favourite quote.
cheese comes in tins? i dont think cheese came in tins since the 40s
Jonathon Tron must smoke lots of the crack to make a vid slanderizing me and my totally legit company. What a nerd!
@ihatescreennames89 Actually in California we have different ways of describing cans. Sure there's cheese in a can but there are also cookie tins
And i LUUUUUURVE cheese from a tin!
@ihatescreennames89 She was married to Chris Martin and lived in London for ages, so it makes sense for her to use British slang. There are better things to get angry at.
That bit at the end was gold, props for having the balls to just yell at a camera out in public.
JonTron isn't the person to back down from public humiliation.
Fun fact: goop used to claim that the stickers were made from the "same carbon linings used by NASA" in the space suits... then NASA engineers called them out and said there is no such carbon lining. 😅🤣
Are all the products just a scam?
@@noless I'm not familiar with the entire catalog of items for sale, but I'd be willing to bet that the vast majority are nonsense. A lot of it the placebo effect.
Why anyone would trust a website that sells stickers for $150 that claim to do nonsense like "redirecting your body's flow of energy" is beyond me. We spend years in school to practice medicine for a reason.
Sorry... I'm really pissed at these sort of people at the moment. An idiot woman threw a party promoting some of this nonsense and now there are 30 new cases of COVID19.
When I went to work at Crate and Barrel, my trainer (who gave no shits, loved her) told us they were dropping Goop because it's bullshit and terrible quality.
@@K.Marie119
How contagious and deadly is the Rona compared to the regular seasonal flu?
What's the song that plays at 8:37 I need to know please
"it's made of one ingredient: crushed. snakes." can't get more natural than that y'all