Good afternoon. Can you talk to Narcissism and how it can affect a child in foster care or child being adopted. Thank you. This would really help my siblings.
Hı Danish. One question I have for you is this: What if I have therapists or psychiatrists who are invalidating me on this subject or who are trying to avoid the subject, mainly because they do not understand the issue at all or are completely unwilling to explore the issue at all? I tried to find a therapist like you who specializes on narcissistic abuse recovery and found nothing / no one in the city where I live and I no longer wish to waste money on therapies who do not even cover this issue. What would you advise to people like me? Thank You :)
If you are a scapegoat, you have to deal with the whole narcissistic family cult. But an educated and healed scapegoat can be a nightmare for the cult.
An educated and healed scapegoat being a nightmare for the cult. Heehee!!!! That's where I'm at. Thank you for this post. I've spent my whole life living in FEAR. Oh, not anymore. And there's millions involved. All I want is a roof over my head, I'm not about money. But I'm healed and not terrified of them anymore and getting a good lawyer finally. I may be a nightmare for them. And it's not feasible to klll me, I have my wits about me and a big dog. These lawyers would kill me too, not just my brother and sister who have made attempts on my life, the lawyers would kill me for sure, a lot of money involved. I'm a nightmare. I couldn't care less if they killed me, 20 years into Lyme, a narcissistic family and the Bible says "nothing that maketh a lie shall enter into the Kingdom of Heaven" (get me out of here!) but it's not feasible to kill me with a big dog. I see now the attempts on my mother's life (for big time money) but didnt' succeed until she started to lose her wits (from the Covid lockdowns). I have my wits about me. There have been attempts on my life, but won't work as long as i have my wits about me (I do) and a very big dog. Maybe they'll succeed (I doubt it) or maybe I'll be a nightmare for them, the sleazy estate lawyers too.
trying to leave a narcissistic family is like trying to leave a cult. the parents expect you to be an adult when you're a child and then treat you like a child when you are an adult. when i was moving out of the house which (unknown to them) was on my way to going no-contact, a comeback i used when dealing with my narcissist parent: they said, "i thought i raised you better than this." myself: "you didn't. which is why i had to raise myself." parent: pikachu face 😲, then rage. CHECKMATE lol remember, when you call out any narcissist with facts , the more angrier they get, the more they know you are right. cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
You described my family to a Tee. Don’t feel sorry for me, I’m a survivor!!! I survived by moving 450 miles away at a very young age. I have no hate. I forgive them all. I have had a great life, while they are old and still unhappy. Sometimes I will let myself feel sorry for that little girl that I was once, that sad lonely abused little girl. But, I realize that little girl grew up to be a very strong woman with empathy and love for those who are so unhappy with themselves they have to bring others down.
1) I was knocked down with any of my accomplishments; told I was showing off 2) Entire family running me down, confiding to one meant everyone knew. I never understood and blamed me for everything. 3) I had to go where they went, do what they do, sometimes by force. 4) They never apologized, blamed me instead. 5) Always, always told I was too sensitive. As a little girl I would feel so sad and my mouth would quiver. I was told "be quiet, you're too sensitive". I was never validated.
mine too...husband and his entire family are rotten people ..mother is the head of the pack... she instigates all the lies...horrible people....Luckily i cut contact..
Forced into "forgiving" the narcissist is what happened to me. And I fought against that! Thank you for this. My anger is my guide, not a sin to be ashamed of.
@@CynthiaSchoenbauer There is a righteous anger and also reactive anger from being abused so long and invalidated. I have suffered from all of these feelings all of my life. In order to forgive, I had to give up the idea of receiving justice in this lifetime, though I do believe people who hurt others without any remorse will be accountable to God because He will not let them get away with anything. In my case, forgiving not to reconcile but to not poison my soul has led me to find peace. It is still a lonely place to be especially when they told so many lies about me but I no longer care what they say about me and I am trying to move on and keep strong boundaries.
Love it, anger is our guide, I'd never seen how I feel wrapped up as such, truly a never again scenario, I'm angry enough for the rest of my life and enjoy feeling as such, I've earned it!
AMEN!!! Jesus got angry. He whipped those making merchandise of God. When He was about to heal somebody on the Sabbath, and knew the narc Pharisees would try to nail him for that, "He looked on them with anger". He got angry. He defended the poor and widows and orphans and stood up to the narc Pharisees and He got angry. There's massive twisted Scriptures in the churches now. And a lot of narcs in the churches. Which of course doesn't invalidate the Church and what Jesus taught. Judas was one of His disciples. There's many Judas's in the Church now, with twisted Scripture. Jesus wasn't a coward or a wimp, and He got angry and defended widows and orphans and the poor, and literally whipped those making merchandise of God.
Thanks for being a hero. I can see that you tried to save your mother from her own stuff. I love someone who wants to save and protect. That is who I am too. But no one ever did that for me. You help show me that a true hero is what we all need.
I was bullied mainly by my mum then my siblings, extended family members ,at school, work, exes and the irony is that they would come to me for advice and support. All they do is humiliate me and copy whatever I do. I would rather be on my own.
@@dv52528 Often times when I hear a song by David Bowie or RHCP that addresses drug addiction ( or seems to), it reminds me of how I feel about my narcissistic family. Either way it's a dependency. The only difference is that drugs aren't meant to meet anyone's needs. But, narcissistic family members ARE supposed to. They just don't. They deliberately hurt you instead.
I was the scapegoat in my narcissistic family, my husband and his family also narcissistic, now I got divorce and no contact from two families. I am very much thankful to god. God helped me to get out of trauma
Thank you. This is an accurate description of what it's like inside a family like this. Both of my parents were malignant narcissists. The sexual abuse and exploitation began when I was a toddler. I'm also autistic, I have difficulty interpreting social cues. It was very confusing. I was also bullied at school because of my difficulty interpreting social cues. I didn't understand what normal was. So I was a weird kid. Very isolated. Began running away at an early age because I wasn't safe at home. And literally my entire family was involved in my abuse. Either as a perpetrator or enablers who helped cover for my abusers. I had no one to turn to. Nobody would believe me because my father was a cop. My parents looked like normal decent people from the outside. And because of my autism I had a lot of difficulty communicating. So Nobody ever believed me or helped me. I was the family scapegoat and everything was always my fault. My autism makes me vulnerable to exploitation. My family abused me until I ran away. And then I was abused and exploited by strangers, because I'm not able to see red flags. I avoid relationships altogether these days. It's safer for me that way.
God bless you. I'm autistic too. They didn't tell me, I was only told the pediatrician said I was retarded. No, I was totally autistic. I got speech therapy and went to a chidlren's rehab center and the special shoes for years (autistic kids often have flat feet). I found out later I was autistic, not mentally retarded. I learned to talk and read and good student, straight A's. But I'm a little "retarded" in terms of being simple, too trusting, and a HUGE problem in that I ignore red flags. I've known that for years. Something awful happens and there were red flags but I ignored them, trying to see the best in people. I'm 55 and 3 years into learning about narcissism and heeding those red flags now. Life is going better. Autism is a recent diagnosis. It was never an issue until modern times, we could fit into society OK. We are perfectly intelligent but a bit simple (no guile), and fit in fine. But modern times are insane, and all the electronics and noise, and public school system, and everybody lies and it's socially acceptable. You probably know of Orion Kelly "that autistic guy" on UA-cam, but if not, he's great. It helps me a lot to see the experience of other autistic people - a lot of bullying because we're too trusting and don't know how to lie and connive. Our average lifespan is 36 years old. Flat feet doesn't kill you, just special shoes for years. It's the bullying that does us in, and we're an easy target in general. Stress will kill you, and predators go for the most vulnerable.
Wow! Totally relate to these comments. Don't have actual diagnosis, but I'm pretty sure I am on the autism spectrum. Born into Multigenerational trauma and narcissistic family cult was exploited sexually and otherwise, treated like everyone's servant, scapegoated, targeted, shamed and blamed. The golden children favorites got everything, college tuition, cell phones, everything! I was the house sitter, dog sitter, taxi driver, dropping them off & picking them up from the airport while they traveled the world. If I needed help, I could come over and mop their floors for 10 dollars and a guilt trip. They ran a smear campaign about me for decades behind my back that got me bullied not just in the family but everywhere. Then they call me crazy and say they were just trying to help me. I always had a hard time with red flags myself, too. But after 5 years, no contact and therapy, I finally understand, not just the system but why I was the target and why I have been bullied my entire life and why I needed help to break free. Whether I ever get the diagnosis or not the important thing is I remember being put in special Ed classes at a young age and the teachers saying I was painfully shy and them trying to advocate for me and say I needed to be held back because of my shyness and my parent forcing me to go on and back to regular class. I know what happened to me. At least I know the truth, and I'm not surrounded by people 24/7 gaslighting me and denying my reality to me anymore!
OMG yes...I have learned that obeying the teachings of Jesus, the gospel, makes me immune from the attacks! I am free! I am healed! I am loved!;I am His!!!!🎉🎉🥰👑🙏✝️💜
thank you for this post. I have spent my whole life in FEAR of my family. I'm 55. My whole life in FEAR of them. But the Gospels say to not be afraid!!!! Trust in God, fear not.
Bullying in a family is not only physical but primarily psychological and spiritual abuse and it’sained at breaking the person’s spirit. Whoever is playing mind games such as gaslighting and is putting your mental health and sanity at risk is your archenemy, no matter if that is your mother, father, sister or brother. It is absolutely vital to protect ourselves and have nothing to do with people whose behaviour is evil. We must have nothing to do with evil. Nothing.
Good advice. I'm no contact with my family even though my brother is on the same land. I finally got rid of my lawyer who was working with him and a narc and causing me massive anxiety. It was HARD to get rid of him, a real hanger on. But my brother's lying lawyer, I may need to block him. He's a narc too.
You didn’t deserve to be forced to seek your dad’s forgiveness, and you’re strong for continuing to pull away from those toxic and abusive patterns. It’s hard work.
Bully you for being normal that's way too challenging for them! How dare we be calm cool and collected when there's panicking about every little thing available, we're to get in their bubblea, we're making them feel to weird😊!
My entire family was just like this. Neither parent or brother provided ANY support whatsoever, especially when I suffered a stroke over two months ago . They made my medical event about them only, and either didn’t want to deal with the situation as a TRUE family should, or made grandiose gestures to make it appear that they were helping when they didn’t. My narc mother made me forgive and even help my narc father with his failing business (I supported him for over twenty years, while he was free to gallivant like the narc he is) and enabled his behavior. I was called practically the same as Dinesh, overly-sensitive, and focused on past behavior. My narc brother can’t be bothered, unless there is some monetary benefit for him. I finally caught onto their BS during my hospital stay. The problem is that I’m 51 and I can’t work (still recouperating and will stlll be for a while) and the problem parents continue with their needling and false promises of love and family.
Narcissists blame us for dwelling on the past, when it is the narcissists who actually do most of the dwelling in, and upon, the past. It seems like they live in the past, forever, and refuse to ever leave. So, when they accuse us of being the ones who do that, it is a classic case of projection, and blame-shifting, for sure.
I am so sorry Danish for the ways you were abused. Thank you for not keeping the secret inside you and having a channel. Raised in a wealthy American home, the abuse and neglect of both my parents went unseen because of this. No bruises seen, no abuse. Their cult like ways kept the secret, even as my dad was dying, he kept attempting to get others to believe his lies and gaslighting me. I could still love him and know I was thd richer one having a different life.
Thank You Danish. I am sorry you had to endure abuse like this. It's a very sick person who does this. My mum was abusive towards me. She wanted to destroy my positive feelings about my worth. She was divisive and she built my siblings up, esp the G.C. by telling them they were better than me in all areas of life. All of them treated me poorly with the bullying. She died 2 wks ago and I have yet to cry. I feel nothing I am sad to say because when she was young and healthy she focused her youth on abusing me. I can try to heal. But they caused a lot of damage
I have experience every single thing you said here and still do from my narcissistic in laws. I lost my husband 8 years ago and from then till now that cult has been terrible but I thank God for Jesus and His protection over my life and that of my children 🙏🏻 Thanks Danish...it's a cult indeed
Thanks so much for sharing your experiences. I have felt this abuse throughout childhood and adult life. The realization has come only in last few years. I can relate to every point you bring up in your videos.
I love how you get to the point and tell it like it is. The words and descriptions that you use are accurate, true forceful, and therapeutic. May God bless you.
My mother has tried to force me to apologize. Mom is the queen narcissist . I used to apologize. Never not in 4 years. I had to seek legal help to get the main narcissist to stop.
Dannish, I've never posted this and not a sentimental type, but you're wonderful. You're a beautiful soul. I can't believe I'm saying that, I'm not like that. I hope you have lots of kids to make this a better society. But you're already making this a better society. You said narcissism is a team sport. You said that in another video and I've thought of that every day, it's so true. 20 years ago I was Eastern Orthodox but knew a Catholic priest and asked if forgiving somebody meant you had to let them keep hurting you. He literally almost jumped out of his chair when he said "No!". There's massive twisted Scripture these days, it's sickening. Jesus called out the hypocritical Pharisee narcissists relentlessly. He didn't try to "get along" with them. I am a convert, really studied before becoming Christian, so I believe it, not going to be a hypocrite, and the churches are narcissistic and massive twisted Scripture. Jesus stood up to the narcissistic Pharisees. He didn't kiss their butt to "get along". He called them out and said they were hypocrites and liars and the devil was their father. He never asked for their "forgiveness". And He said to judge righteous judgment. He only condemned hypocritical judging. And He really called out the narcissists of His day, and said they were whitewashed sepulchres and their father was the devil. He never asked for their forgiveness, or tried to "get along" with them. And said the thief cometh not but to kill, steal and DESTROY. Yup, that's what the narcs do.
I loved seeing the kitty! Pls include them more - maybe a video on how pets can help you heal from narc abuse. I spend time with stray cats and its the only thing that's keeping me sane whileI work on my exit plan.
I am deeply sorry you have had to go through such evil! Sadly I have experienced this brutal evil. I understand this and send you blessings. Thank you for your help and wisdom.💛
Thank you for exposing this. I’m the person my family bullied me I’m the scape goat. Ive disconnected from them. They have been betrayed lied about. They even seek out old friends. Thank you for exposing.
They sought out my friends in a state 2300 mi away from where I grew up and got a flying monkey against me (who pretended to be a fellow scapegoat until he stabbed me in the back)
My whole family are narcissists. Since I came into this world. I have been the scrape goat. My mother & father were both selfish,and neglectful. They lived like they were Child-free. My mother would leave us off other people. When we were at home. She never wanted to be bothered. She always screaming & yelling. We could not keep a roof over our hood. Because she would use the money for clubs, vacations,hair appointments.Only clothes,and food for herself. Aside from her bullying. We had to deal with her siblings .My (Aunt's & Uncles were severe bullies always bullying us. Her whole family is dysfunctional.Starting with my grandmother.She passed on abuse,and trama to all of her children. But back to my mom. She purposely would allow my father too get away with not paying child support. He kept his money for himself. Went on living his life like he had no responsibilities. My mother plays favorites. My narc brother,and narc oldest sister are her favorites. As for me,and my other sister are the scrape goats. They are always tag teaming up on us to bully,and gossipping.
There may be a combination of narc and borderline personality disorder. My family too, the only son and one sister who were GOD, and the other two were to be destroyed. My mother believed in reincarnation and went to psychics. she may literally have thought my oldest sister and I did something bad to her in another life. But her son and my other sister were GOD in her eyes, my father's too. As this culture is reverting to paganism, females have no value, so I get the son being GOD, but they also thought my one sister was omnipotent God too. Weird. My oldest sister and I were to be destroyed. It may have been a belief from a psychic that we did something bad to them in another life. I don't believe in reincarnation by the way. Borderline personality disorder, that does the "splitting" of all good, and all bad kids. Human and nonhuman. I was SOOOO good to my mother, she had SUCH a good quality of life, and it was her 2 "all good" kids that killed her. Like in Shakespeare's King Lear. Apparently this isn't uncommon.
@@sarahodom7091Thank you for sharing your story. It helped with insight. My Grandmother had eight children. 3 sons & 5 daughters. Well she worshipped all of her sons. But viewed her daughters as worthless.Her sons were never punished,or abused. She just punished her daughters only.Made them only do house work.(cook&clean).Because they did believe in men doing these things. Then with my Mother there are 4 of us 3 girls,and 1 son. My mother has always worshipped my brother as a god. He never had to do chores either. She always kept him best dressed.He wore the finest clothes&shoes. He,and my oldest sister are her favorites. Now as for me ,and my other sister we were the outcast. She always treated us so cruel.
Exactly!! Even worse I was made to be compelled to go to the parish priest and say I “forgive my abusers!” I even DID/DO forgive, but I had to keep going back to say, I forgive them repeatedly, so I wouldn’t/couldn’t forget what was being done to me repeatedly! I wasn’t even allowed to block it out of my mind even if I tried or wanted to! If that is not evil, I don’t know what is!! TOO BAD FOR THEM, GOD SAVED ME! Glory be to God! 🙏❤️🕊🌟🎶🌹 I feel and pray for anyone going through this! It truly is the source of someone not making it, unless they find therapy or someone, just one person, who eventually who cares!
That's horrible. There's a lot of Pharisees in the Church. Jesus called them out!!!! In His day the religious leaders were a lot of narc Pharisees. It doesn't negate the Church though. one of His disciples was Judas. I was Eastern Orthodox but asked a Catholic priest if forgiving somebody meant you had to let them keep hurting you and he literally just about jumped out of his chair when he said "NO!!!". I'm so sorry you got a narc Pharisee priest. That's not the true teaching of Jesus and the saints and the Church though. There's a lot of twisted Scripture now. Jesus never asked the narc Pharisees to forgive Him. He called them out and never asked them to forgive Him for calling them out.
Right on point! I ws the rebel & ultimately the scapegoat. Thankfully I overcame anxiety attacks I wd hv when I ws younger; I shared it with no one. To all, find inner peace
Thank you for this explanation. Yes, you are right. It is a family cult thing. Yup my sister and I are strangers because I will not let her control me. Her family are also bullies. Especially the daughter. Her father worse if you say anything about her daughter. My sister uses them as flying monkeys/ But the bulling is something else
OMG! I first thought you talked about my child’s mom’s nearest relatives because they behave as a cult with my child’s grandmother in the center as a boss which not at all can be criticized whatever she has done without reprisals. No one in that cult can be criticized for that matter. During 10 years relationship with my child’s mom I got beaten several times and ”frozen out” several times because I have been straigt forward and honest. And nothing was this cult’s fault or individual fault.
I genuinely find rewatching _keeping up with the kardashians_ with my new wisdom in hindsight incredibly eye opening. Having had no examples of 'how humans treat humans', it's beyond interesting how different my feelings are on everyone, compared to us growing up together back then? Seeing some of the traits and dynamics in the family now?? I mean. Who better to learn from than people who live in abundance and excess off of professional narcissism? It's beyond interesting to watch them at work.
It's so crazy, you're talking about your past and it feels like, you're telling my story :( Lots of hug to those, who went trough all that, I was thinking so much, why don't I trust myself enough in new situations than realized because of all the bullying I've got in my childhood.
I faced harrasment with 6 narcissists and hundreds of flying moneys..That's more than a hell.. Now with 1milignant narcissistic husband directly and rest of 5 indirectly.. oh my God it's torture that nobody understands even we express others they can't believe it they treat u as abuser and narcissists as victims .
Whenever I am filled with questions you always come forward with all the answers. Thank you so much for this great help to realize me that I am not the only suffering.
Perfect description! Thank you! I have experienced all of it but only now start to understand the whole picture of this total abuse and bullying in my family.
The thing is, ...in families, ...it doesn't always look mean, especially when the queen is outside of your birth family... meaning your parent in the actual narcissistic family is the enabler ...and not all the time, but is also shamed and devalued, but still supports the system and tells their children that they need to take pity on these people too, they deserve love and service, because they've had a "hard life". And when the narcissists are present and acting directly in their life, ...it's hell on earth and all hands on deck, to please them and whatever or whomever they want to impress.
Thankyou so so much for bringing these points so accurately, the mother's story you told is exactly same as mine, you are totally right, thankyou sir !
Oh yeah, they do hunt you down. And the instinctively stick together (though will turn on each other when one gets old). It's weird how they instinctively recognize each other and stick together.
Omg Danish... you are just describing word by word what I'm currently experiencing. No matter what happens, the Narc should never be hurt, his lies are waived off as casual things, he has a loooong list of everything he did for the family, and his minions continue to reinforce how much he sacrificed... I.e paying bills, taking family on holiday, paying for child's education.... or reparing the house once.... their point is... so his cheating and abuses should be waived off , at the end of the day those were mistakes and narc is repentant...as usual playing victim... minions say... he has done lot for the family and their focus is shifted on me... the one who raised questions, counter argued and refused to give in to the bulshit narrative... now the entire family, relatives discussing my drawbacks and that I should seek psychology support... which I would love , coz il get a sane minded person to talk to.... but will the narc get ready to see a therapist as well ??? They are too perfect for that...isn't it....and anyway the problem is not with them... its with me...the scapegoat....Danish I am actually facing all of this today.... getting forced to forgive... remember the good sides of narc... lol... and just like you, it's my mother...who is also a narc...overt type ... enabling the abuse of my covert narc father... there is a huge gossip going on behind my back... where even my mum participates , even though she is victim of my abusive cheating manipulative ,narc father.... even then my mother tries to shift the focus on me , and how I should work towards improving my life, advices, complaints, lectures all keeping me in limelight... when the real problem lies elsewhere... so much drama just so that my narc dad doesn't feel uncomfortable... even though he is super abusive , pathological liar, and cheats , abnormal sexual activities he does outside of marriage.... You just described my life ...right now
I never realized that I grew up with a narcissist. They would triangulate me and do all sorts of stuff. But I can talk to you while they hate you. And still be friends with both. Boy did they try to stop that. Thank god I didn’t get their disorder. Someone else did. Congrats on your achievement psychologist. I notice you use that now. I have a psych degree. Only a bs. 😊
Now please make a video how is this narcissistic family cult originated... does a normal healthy family get tainted by a narcissistic woman who brings the ruin in the entire upcoming bloodline? Please we want a video on your deep analysis over this
My own family .I'm shock ..I divorce my ex , but I thought my kids will be neutral but all take sides to my ex .I thought they will be neutral.i cried for a while but I understand a still voice I heard and I understand that my family is a cult.i move on but I understand now .I accept being alone and isolated but I understand that they csnt reach out me because of disorder
Thank GOODNESS for your remarkable insight, & content!! I am very sorry that you had to suffer so much, very sad… You are & have been nothing less than L I F E S A V I N G for many, many people who your Therapy has finally given HOPE. ❤️
I married into this family cult of narcissists, my now ex h being chief among them. And I was the scapegoat 100% because I did not play along, I just couldn’t. I wasn’t raised like that. I had wonderful, loving safe parents. Thank God.
All 5 - you had me at "family cult." There is no one more hated than an apostate. The last one hit me; I was constantly accused of dwelling on the past...yet female parent was allowed to whine about her past (which was at least 27 years prior to my own past) all she wanted. The other form of bullying not mentioned is "it's okay for everyone else to _______, but not for me (scapegoat) to do /say the exact same thing or retaliate equally." My sister loves to extoll stories of how I would 'claw' her in the arm when I was younger. She conveniently leaves out the part where she is screaming in my face that i was a "PROBLEM CHILD!!" over and over again until I had no choice but to strike out physically. She refused to stop even after witnessing my distress.
The bullying often begins for victims of Narc families with the first diaper change. The Queen Narc got away with raising unloved and abused children for decades, because culturally we we were taught all bullies are males. Today we can change the fate of damaging childhoods by knowing what this type of dehumanizing behavior produces.... sociopaths and psychopaths to say the least. Excellent insights Danish, thank you! 💯
My sister still leaves messages on my phone, but NOW I never return her calls. She has hit me, called me names, stolen my identity and dug through and photographed EVERYTHING I own. She has tried to force me to have sex with strangers so they would give her money. She has humiliated me my entire life- She has left messages this week that she plans to come visit and stay with me again. NO WAY ! I’m done with her ! She is afraid of nothing and will do anything and everything to finish me off. Wish that I had seen Danish’s videos years ago, because then I would have understood what kind of person she really was and got rid of her decades ago !
I'm going to post my experience before I listen to see if it matches up. I was told that "nobody cares about me enough to bother abusing or hurting me, I'm paranoid and should be ashamed of myself". The flying monkeys initially tried to stroke me but only to gather info. until I coaxed them into revealing their true selves. One monkey continued to play me by trying to soothe me until I discovered it was all an act. Then when it was in their interest I was told "how everybody loves me and wishes me the best" and "I just need to get over it"(the abuse). This is their dysfunctional cycle, they abuse each other then sweep everything under the carpet over and over again. This behavior is o.k. because this is how our family has been for generations. Suck it up and play the game it's your duty as a member of the family.
Indeed. I'll add a number of scoldings for lacking loyalty--to people who showed none to me!?!😂 🤪Some people wallow in crazy. I just walk away (ok-run!).
Yes, I have gone through this. My father used to beat my mother, physically abuse her in front of us all the siblings. I was the youngest among the siblings. When I was around 18 years old, once my father came to beat my mother, I held his shirt collar and pushed him back instinctively to protect my mother from physical abuse. You know what my mother said, she said ‘go and ask your father for forgiveness’. What ?
Also, when narcissist indeed admits their wrong doings they ALWAYS minimize what they did or find excuses and even when they try to make amend they expect immediate forgiveness and get angry when you don't and start playing the victim to the flying monkeys who tried to guilt trip you into forgiving them.
I had to leave my familie, i was the familie scapegoat. They treatet me realey bad and abused me for years. I am grandmother. The did not help when I was ill , They excluded me from familie . They never game at my home, i had to go on bike 18 kilometer to visit them .i am 59 years old. They promised me for my 50 birthday a familie trip to Rome, They went without me and send me fotograpfs from Rome. For Cristmas i bought with love presents for all the familie members. They gave me promissis to go swimming with the grandchilderen and a diner at a restaurant. We never went. When I game to visit while a had always an appointment ,They began hoovering, doing the laundery upstairs, go for groceries. No one talked at birthday partys. They had a lot of crimes to hide and they know i do not accept childabuse because they use cocaïne. It was realey painful to be grandmother and familie scapegoat in a narcessistic familie. God bless every one who are familie scapegoat. Love from a scapegoat from Holland
Curious to know whether narcissists do set "moral boundaries" when it comes to incest? I have never seen that talked about specifically. I do know that cheating sexually is easy for them.
Please, give me advise 🙏 imagine situation when you are married to narcissist and adopt and raise his child since 16 months old. Who is autistic and who never got evaluation, or any help from doctor. Now he is 14 and something happened to him. He is violent and abusive. Before he was just ruling the whole household. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO.
@@annazavarzina6145 See a doctor who can evaluate his condition. Try to have boundaries with the teenager.If all goes well ,good.If your narc husband objects to you having boundaries with himself and the teenager...insist on what you won't allow to happen to you anymore! If they resist...you don't have a peaceful future with them.Have a source of income and leave. All the best to you ,dear.
@@savitagupta132 I left already. Going through divorce. But I worry about the little one. I AM LISTENING TO EVERYTHING YOU SAY HERE, trust me. P.S. for some reason I have this feeling, that my personal hell right now will help others later. Even though it is HELL. Mama said long time ago, “If you can’t be good example, be a horrible warning!” 😏 Back then it was a joke. But I think I made mama proud. Thank you again! ♥️
Hhhhmmm so that means my wife had 2 narcissistic parents. Her mom loves to be the victim and her daughter plays into it hhhmmm makes perfect sense why she chose me over her. Her mom blamed me for EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN and took no accountability whatsoever absolutely none Scapegoating me on why she didn't go see her husband when he was sick but took work trips to Chicago to tell us how beautiful it was and hows she living the dream. Husband was sick in NY basically just talked behind his back about how crazy he was etc etc and much much more. Wife blindly followed because was the "crazy one" everyone is crazy but her mom I noticed she even talked about her husband's daughter how she was dirty, how she smokes too many cigarettes, and much more how his son was a whack job because he had mental issues and was crazy also. Husband wants to help run my business but he can't run his own kids and how he's nothing without her etc etc. As soon as he came back then it was ALL MY FAULT. I was wondering if it was really me but I thibk what hurts the most is that my child is being held back from me seeing her. Mom said if you don't do as i say you'll never see your wife or your daughter again after I didn't do as she said they done conspired against me and I became the bad guy 🤦🏾♂️ and was told to leave. I was literally taking their crap for a while and as soon as I stood up for myself I had to leave. Now I was wrong for putting our secret out their yeah but sheesh you push a person in the corner too long he's going to say something slick hellloooooo it's common sense ya know.
Betrayal Trauma After Narcissistic Abuse:
www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/livevent
Good afternoon. Can you talk to Narcissism and how it can affect a child in foster care or child being adopted. Thank you. This would really help my siblings.
Hı Danish.
One question I have for you is this: What if I have therapists or psychiatrists who are invalidating me on this subject or who are trying to avoid the subject, mainly because they do not understand the issue at all or are completely unwilling to explore the issue at all?
I tried to find a therapist like you who specializes on narcissistic abuse recovery and found nothing / no one in the city where I live and I no longer wish to waste money on therapies who do not even cover this issue. What would you advise to people like me?
Thank You :)
If you are a scapegoat, you have to deal with the whole narcissistic family cult. But an educated and healed scapegoat can be a nightmare for the cult.
An educated and healed scapegoat being a nightmare for the cult. Heehee!!!! That's where I'm at. Thank you for this post. I've spent my whole life living in FEAR. Oh, not anymore. And there's millions involved. All I want is a roof over my head, I'm not about money. But I'm healed and not terrified of them anymore and getting a good lawyer finally. I may be a nightmare for them. And it's not feasible to klll me, I have my wits about me and a big dog. These lawyers would kill me too, not just my brother and sister who have made attempts on my life, the lawyers would kill me for sure, a lot of money involved. I'm a nightmare. I couldn't care less if they killed me, 20 years into Lyme, a narcissistic family and the Bible says "nothing that maketh a lie shall enter into the Kingdom of Heaven" (get me out of here!) but it's not feasible to kill me with a big dog. I see now the attempts on my mother's life (for big time money) but didnt' succeed until she started to lose her wits (from the Covid lockdowns). I have my wits about me. There have been attempts on my life, but won't work as long as i have my wits about me (I do) and a very big dog. Maybe they'll succeed (I doubt it) or maybe I'll be a nightmare for them, the sleazy estate lawyers too.
And this is exactly what both parents have called me. Thank you so much for the positive validation rather than the shameful negative connotation.
So true
Forced to forgive. The one you support in the cult will betray you!
Yup they'll fling you the furthest as the others are watching 👀 (non-thinking bottom feeders)
So agree... Have forgiven and moved on never again
Yes they will by force
trying to leave a narcissistic family is like trying to leave a cult. the parents expect you to be an adult when you're a child and then treat you like a child when you are an adult.
when i was moving out of the house which (unknown to them) was on my way to going no-contact, a comeback i used when dealing with my narcissist parent:
they said, "i thought i raised you better than this."
myself: "you didn't. which is why i had to raise myself."
parent: pikachu face 😲, then rage. CHECKMATE lol
remember, when you call out any narcissist with facts , the more angrier they get, the more they know you are right.
cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
💥 🎉
🤝🌹
This can be said for a family, friendship or employment or any group you may be a part of!!
Hhmmm interesting 🤔
🤣 That was great thank you for that !!!
“Somebody has to suffer!” 😂😂 We know who that is!
You described my family to a Tee. Don’t feel sorry for me, I’m a survivor!!! I survived by moving 450 miles away at a very young age. I have no hate. I forgive them all. I have had a great life, while they are old and still unhappy. Sometimes I will let myself feel sorry for that little girl that I was once, that sad lonely abused little girl. But, I realize that little girl grew up to be a very strong woman with empathy and love for those who are so unhappy with themselves they have to bring others down.
I'm in the same boat. Sadly for me, I stayed thinking they would accept me one day but that never happened.
Bravo!
1) I was knocked down with any of my accomplishments; told I was showing off
2) Entire family running me down, confiding to one meant everyone knew. I never understood and blamed me for everything.
3) I had to go where they went, do what they do, sometimes by force.
4) They never apologized, blamed me instead.
5) Always, always told I was too sensitive. As a little girl I would feel so sad and my mouth would quiver. I was told "be quiet, you're too sensitive". I was never validated.
This is my whole in law family and my spouses mom is the center of it. Thankfully we’ve been no contact for 7-8 years with all of them.
mine too...husband and his entire family are rotten people ..mother is the head of the pack... she instigates all the lies...horrible people....Luckily i cut contact..
Your so right, it can go on through adulthood too, even get worse .
My older sister is always looking for a new line in. I'm no contact on several of those whackados. 🎉😂
Forced into "forgiving" the narcissist is what happened to me. And I fought against that! Thank you for this. My anger is my guide, not a sin to be ashamed of.
@@CynthiaSchoenbauer
There is a righteous anger and also reactive anger from being abused so long and invalidated. I have suffered from all of these feelings all of my life. In order to forgive, I had to give up the idea of receiving justice in this lifetime, though I do believe people who hurt others without any remorse will be accountable to God because He will not let them get away with anything. In my case, forgiving not to reconcile but to not poison my soul has led me to find peace. It is still a lonely place to be especially when they told so many lies about me but I no longer care what they say about me and I am trying to move on and keep strong boundaries.
Love it, anger is our guide, I'd never seen how I feel wrapped up as such, truly a never again scenario, I'm angry enough for the rest of my life and enjoy feeling as such, I've earned it!
Both God and Jesus were said to have gotten angry. I despise toxic positivity; anger was given to us for a reason.
AMEN!!! Jesus got angry. He whipped those making merchandise of God. When He was about to heal somebody on the Sabbath, and knew the narc Pharisees would try to nail him for that, "He looked on them with anger". He got angry. He defended the poor and widows and orphans and stood up to the narc Pharisees and He got angry. There's massive twisted Scriptures in the churches now. And a lot of narcs in the churches. Which of course doesn't invalidate the Church and what Jesus taught. Judas was one of His disciples. There's many Judas's in the Church now, with twisted Scripture. Jesus wasn't a coward or a wimp, and He got angry and defended widows and orphans and the poor, and literally whipped those making merchandise of God.
@@Hawaiiansky11 Toxic positivity is disgusting. Thank God Dr. Ramani has been really calling that out. It's disgusting.
Thanks for being a hero. I can see that you tried to save your mother from her own stuff. I love someone who wants to save and protect. That is who I am too. But no one ever did that for me. You help show me that a true hero is what we all need.
Well said. I really respect that too, a real man (or woman) wanting to save and protect. That is truly a hero.
I was bullied mainly by my mum then my siblings, extended family members ,at school, work, exes and the irony is that they would come to me for advice and support. All they do is humiliate me and copy whatever I do. I would rather be on my own.
Mine did the same. Treated me with unparalleled viciousness, but turned to me for emotional support. What a fool I was.
@@SMKovalinsky We weren't fools, we wanted love...
@@dv52528 Sadly, true. 😢
@@SMKovalinsky We are strong!
@@dv52528 Often times when I hear a song by David Bowie or RHCP that addresses drug addiction ( or seems to), it reminds me of how I feel about my narcissistic family. Either way it's a dependency. The only difference is that drugs aren't meant to meet anyone's needs. But, narcissistic family members ARE supposed to. They just don't. They deliberately hurt you instead.
I was the scapegoat in my narcissistic family, my husband and his family also narcissistic, now I got divorce and no contact from two families. I am very much thankful to god. God helped me to get out of trauma
Thank you. This is an accurate description of what it's like inside a family like this.
Both of my parents were malignant narcissists.
The sexual abuse and exploitation began when I was a toddler.
I'm also autistic, I have difficulty interpreting social cues. It was very confusing. I was also bullied at school because of my difficulty interpreting social cues. I didn't understand what normal was. So I was a weird kid. Very isolated. Began running away at an early age because I wasn't safe at home.
And literally my entire family was involved in my abuse. Either as a perpetrator or enablers who helped cover for my abusers.
I had no one to turn to.
Nobody would believe me because my father was a cop. My parents looked like normal decent people from the outside.
And because of my autism I had a lot of difficulty communicating.
So Nobody ever believed me or helped me.
I was the family scapegoat and everything was always my fault.
My autism makes me vulnerable to exploitation.
My family abused me until I ran away. And then I was abused and exploited by strangers, because I'm not able to see red flags.
I avoid relationships altogether these days.
It's safer for me that way.
Thank you for sharing your story. Stay safe and embrace You. 🙂
God bless you. I'm autistic too. They didn't tell me, I was only told the pediatrician said I was retarded. No, I was totally autistic. I got speech therapy and went to a chidlren's rehab center and the special shoes for years (autistic kids often have flat feet). I found out later I was autistic, not mentally retarded. I learned to talk and read and good student, straight A's. But I'm a little "retarded" in terms of being simple, too trusting, and a HUGE problem in that I ignore red flags. I've known that for years. Something awful happens and there were red flags but I ignored them, trying to see the best in people. I'm 55 and 3 years into learning about narcissism and heeding those red flags now. Life is going better.
Autism is a recent diagnosis. It was never an issue until modern times, we could fit into society OK. We are perfectly intelligent but a bit simple (no guile), and fit in fine. But modern times are insane, and all the electronics and noise, and public school system, and everybody lies and it's socially acceptable. You probably know of Orion Kelly "that autistic guy" on UA-cam, but if not, he's great. It helps me a lot to see the experience of other autistic people - a lot of bullying because we're too trusting and don't know how to lie and connive. Our average lifespan is 36 years old. Flat feet doesn't kill you, just special shoes for years. It's the bullying that does us in, and we're an easy target in general. Stress will kill you, and predators go for the most vulnerable.
Wow! Totally relate to these comments. Don't have actual diagnosis, but I'm pretty sure I am on the autism spectrum. Born into Multigenerational trauma and narcissistic family cult was exploited sexually and otherwise, treated like everyone's servant, scapegoated, targeted, shamed and blamed. The golden children favorites got everything, college tuition, cell phones, everything! I was the house sitter, dog sitter, taxi driver, dropping them off & picking them up from the airport while they traveled the world. If I needed help, I could come over and mop their floors for 10 dollars and a guilt trip. They ran a smear campaign about me for decades behind my back that got me bullied not just in the family but everywhere. Then they call me crazy and say they were just trying to help me. I always had a hard time with red flags myself, too. But after 5 years, no contact and therapy, I finally understand, not just the system but why I was the target and why I have been bullied my entire life and why I needed help to break free. Whether I ever get the diagnosis or not the important thing is I remember being put in special Ed classes at a young age and the teachers saying I was painfully shy and them trying to advocate for me and say I needed to be held back because of my shyness and my parent forcing me to go on and back to regular class. I know what happened to me. At least I know the truth, and I'm not surrounded by people 24/7 gaslighting me and denying my reality to me anymore!
So true! I pray for all of us going through this
OMG yes...I have learned that obeying the teachings of Jesus, the gospel, makes me immune from the attacks! I am free! I am healed! I am loved!;I am His!!!!🎉🎉🥰👑🙏✝️💜
thank you for this post. I have spent my whole life in FEAR of my family. I'm 55. My whole life in FEAR of them. But the Gospels say to not be afraid!!!! Trust in God, fear not.
Amen 🙏
Bullying in a family is not only physical but primarily psychological and spiritual abuse and it’sained at breaking the person’s spirit. Whoever is playing mind games such as gaslighting and is putting your mental health and sanity at risk is your archenemy, no matter if that is your mother, father, sister or brother. It is absolutely vital to protect ourselves and have nothing to do with people whose behaviour is evil. We must have nothing to do with evil. Nothing.
Good advice. I'm no contact with my family even though my brother is on the same land. I finally got rid of my lawyer who was working with him and a narc and causing me massive anxiety. It was HARD to get rid of him, a real hanger on. But my brother's lying lawyer, I may need to block him. He's a narc too.
Siblings into our 60’s and still bullies!
Same here. I've never been better though. Get away if you can. Far away
@@bhabi7071 Great advice! Doing it and feeling so liberated! Thank you!
Sibling said I will die lonely. Trying to project it's fear onto me. I feel lonely when I am around other people.
@@thebower8027 if you wouldn’t hang around with them if they weren’t related then I definitely wouldn’t just because they are! Blessings ✨
You didn’t deserve to be forced to seek your dad’s forgiveness, and you’re strong for continuing to pull away from those toxic and abusive patterns. It’s hard work.
"Queen bee and the minions" cracked me up, the funniest thing I've heard in a while 😂
Bully you for being normal that's way too challenging for them! How dare we be calm cool and collected when there's panicking about every little thing available, we're to get in their bubblea, we're making them feel to weird😊!
Yes - any of those things seen as rebelling! All of them! Scapegoating! Thank you.
My entire family was just like this. Neither parent or brother provided ANY support whatsoever, especially when I suffered a stroke over two months ago . They made my medical event about them only, and either didn’t want to deal with the situation as a TRUE family should, or made grandiose gestures to make it appear that they were helping when they didn’t.
My narc mother made me forgive and even help my narc father with his failing business (I supported him for over twenty years, while he was free to gallivant like the narc he is) and enabled his behavior. I was called practically the same as Dinesh, overly-sensitive, and focused on past behavior.
My narc brother can’t be bothered, unless there is some monetary benefit for him.
I finally caught onto their BS during my hospital stay. The problem is that I’m 51 and I can’t work (still recouperating and will stlll be for a while) and the problem parents continue with their needling and false promises of love and family.
Narcissists blame us for dwelling on the past, when it is the narcissists who actually do most of the dwelling in, and upon, the past. It seems like they live in the past, forever, and refuse to ever leave. So, when they accuse us of being the ones who do that, it is a classic case of projection, and blame-shifting, for sure.
I am so sorry Danish for the ways you were abused. Thank you for not keeping the secret inside you and having a channel. Raised in a wealthy American home, the abuse and neglect of both my parents went unseen because of this. No bruises seen, no abuse. Their cult like ways kept the secret, even as my dad was dying, he kept attempting to get others to believe his lies and gaslighting me. I could still love him and know I was thd richer one having a different life.
Thank You Danish. I am sorry you had to endure abuse like this. It's a very sick person who does this. My mum was abusive towards me. She wanted to destroy my positive feelings about my worth. She was divisive and she built my siblings up, esp the G.C. by telling them they were better than me in all areas of life. All of them treated me poorly with the bullying. She died 2 wks ago and I have yet to cry. I feel nothing I am sad to say because when she was young and healthy she focused her youth on abusing me. I can try to heal. But they caused a lot of damage
I have experience every single thing you said here and still do from my narcissistic in laws. I lost my husband 8 years ago and from then till now that cult has been terrible but I thank God for Jesus and His protection over my life and that of my children 🙏🏻
Thanks Danish...it's a cult indeed
This guy knows his stuff !
Yes! Preach! Yep they be bullies!
Thank you for your videos. They're so validating. They're so important to help survivors feel better.
Thanks so much for sharing your experiences. I have felt this abuse throughout childhood and adult life. The realization has come only in last few years. I can relate to every point you bring up in your videos.
I love how you get to the point and tell it like it is. The words and descriptions that you use are accurate, true forceful, and therapeutic. May God bless you.
My mother has tried to force me to apologize. Mom is the queen narcissist . I used to apologize. Never not in 4 years. I had to seek legal help to get the main narcissist to stop.
I have lived within this family dynamic all of my life 😐
Danish! you are absolutely doing tremendous work being a spokes person for each and everyone of us, thank you.
Dannish, I've never posted this and not a sentimental type, but you're wonderful. You're a beautiful soul. I can't believe I'm saying that, I'm not like that. I hope you have lots of kids to make this a better society. But you're already making this a better society. You said narcissism is a team sport. You said that in another video and I've thought of that every day, it's so true. 20 years ago I was Eastern Orthodox but knew a Catholic priest and asked if forgiving somebody meant you had to let them keep hurting you. He literally almost jumped out of his chair when he said "No!". There's massive twisted Scripture these days, it's sickening. Jesus called out the hypocritical Pharisee narcissists relentlessly. He didn't try to "get along" with them. I am a convert, really studied before becoming Christian, so I believe it, not going to be a hypocrite, and the churches are narcissistic and massive twisted Scripture. Jesus stood up to the narcissistic Pharisees. He didn't kiss their butt to "get along". He called them out and said they were hypocrites and liars and the devil was their father. He never asked for their "forgiveness". And He said to judge righteous judgment. He only condemned hypocritical judging. And He really called out the narcissists of His day, and said they were whitewashed sepulchres and their father was the devil. He never asked for their forgiveness, or tried to "get along" with them. And said the thief cometh not but to kill, steal and DESTROY. Yup, that's what the narcs do.
I loved seeing the kitty! Pls include them more - maybe a video on how pets can help you heal from narc abuse. I spend time with stray cats and its the only thing that's keeping me sane whileI work on my exit plan.
I am deeply sorry you have had to go through such evil! Sadly I have experienced this brutal evil. I understand this and send you blessings. Thank you for your help and wisdom.💛
Thank you for exposing this. I’m the person my family bullied me I’m the scape goat. Ive disconnected from them. They have been betrayed lied about. They even seek out old friends. Thank you for exposing.
They sought out my friends in a state 2300 mi away from where I grew up and got a flying monkey against me (who pretended to be a fellow scapegoat until he stabbed me in the back)
My whole family are narcissists.
Since I came into this world. I have been the scrape goat. My mother & father were both selfish,and neglectful. They lived like they were
Child-free. My mother would leave us off other people. When we were at home. She never wanted to be bothered. She always screaming & yelling. We could not keep a roof over our hood. Because she would use the money for clubs, vacations,hair appointments.Only clothes,and food for herself.
Aside from her bullying. We had to deal with her siblings .My (Aunt's & Uncles were severe bullies always bullying us. Her whole family is dysfunctional.Starting with my grandmother.She passed on abuse,and trama to all of her children.
But back to my mom. She purposely would allow my father too get away with not paying child support.
He kept his money for himself.
Went on living his life like he had no responsibilities.
My mother plays favorites. My narc brother,and narc oldest sister are her favorites. As for me,and my other sister are the scrape goats.
They are always tag teaming up on us to bully,and gossipping.
There may be a combination of narc and borderline personality disorder. My family too, the only son and one sister who were GOD, and the other two were to be destroyed. My mother believed in reincarnation and went to psychics. she may literally have thought my oldest sister and I did something bad to her in another life. But her son and my other sister were GOD in her eyes, my father's too. As this culture is reverting to paganism, females have no value, so I get the son being GOD, but they also thought my one sister was omnipotent God too. Weird. My oldest sister and I were to be destroyed. It may have been a belief from a psychic that we did something bad to them in another life. I don't believe in reincarnation by the way. Borderline personality disorder, that does the "splitting" of all good, and all bad kids. Human and nonhuman. I was SOOOO good to my mother, she had SUCH a good quality of life, and it was her 2 "all good" kids that killed her. Like in Shakespeare's King Lear. Apparently this isn't uncommon.
@@sarahodom7091Thank you for sharing your story. It helped with
insight.
My Grandmother had eight children.
3 sons & 5 daughters. Well she worshipped all of her sons. But viewed her daughters as worthless.Her sons were never punished,or abused. She just punished her daughters only.Made them only do house work.(cook&clean).Because they did believe in men doing these things.
Then with my Mother there are 4 of us 3 girls,and 1 son. My mother has always worshipped my brother as a god. He never had to do chores either.
She always kept him best dressed.He wore the finest clothes&shoes.
He,and my oldest sister are her favorites. Now as for me ,and my other sister we were the outcast.
She always treated us so cruel.
Exactly!!
Even worse I was made to be compelled to go to the parish priest and say I “forgive my abusers!”
I even DID/DO forgive, but I had to keep going back to say, I forgive them repeatedly, so I wouldn’t/couldn’t forget what was being done to me repeatedly!
I wasn’t even allowed to block it out of my mind even if I tried or wanted to!
If that is not evil, I don’t know what is!!
TOO BAD FOR THEM, GOD SAVED ME!
Glory be to God!
🙏❤️🕊🌟🎶🌹
I feel and pray for anyone going through this!
It truly is the source of someone not making it, unless they find therapy or someone, just one person, who eventually who cares!
That's horrible. There's a lot of Pharisees in the Church. Jesus called them out!!!! In His day the religious leaders were a lot of narc Pharisees. It doesn't negate the Church though. one of His disciples was Judas. I was Eastern Orthodox but asked a Catholic priest if forgiving somebody meant you had to let them keep hurting you and he literally just about jumped out of his chair when he said "NO!!!". I'm so sorry you got a narc Pharisee priest. That's not the true teaching of Jesus and the saints and the Church though. There's a lot of twisted Scripture now. Jesus never asked the narc Pharisees to forgive Him. He called them out and never asked them to forgive Him for calling them out.
Thank you dainsh from my heart
Exactly!!
Too bad for them that God saved me!
Glory be to God!
🙏❤️🕊🌟🎶🌹
This is incredibly onpoint. Thank you Danish for another insightful video!
Right on point! I ws the rebel & ultimately the scapegoat. Thankfully I overcame anxiety attacks I wd hv when I ws younger; I shared it with no one. To all, find inner peace
Thank you for this explanation. Yes, you are right. It is a family cult thing. Yup my sister and I are strangers because I will not let her control me. Her family are also bullies. Especially the daughter. Her father worse if you say anything about her daughter. My sister uses them as flying monkeys/ But the bulling is something else
OMG! I first thought you talked about my child’s mom’s nearest relatives because they behave as a cult with my child’s grandmother in the center as a boss which not at all can be criticized whatever she has done without reprisals.
No one in that cult can be criticized for that matter.
During 10 years relationship with my child’s mom I got beaten several times and ”frozen out” several times because I have been straigt forward and honest.
And nothing was this cult’s fault or individual fault.
I genuinely find rewatching _keeping up with the kardashians_ with my new wisdom in hindsight incredibly eye opening.
Having had no examples of 'how humans treat humans', it's beyond interesting how different my feelings are on everyone, compared to us growing up together back then? Seeing some of the traits and dynamics in the family now?? I mean. Who better to learn from than people who live in abundance and excess off of professional narcissism? It's beyond interesting to watch them at work.
It's so crazy, you're talking about your past and it feels like, you're telling my story :( Lots of hug to those, who went trough all that, I was thinking so much, why don't I trust myself enough in new situations than realized because of all the bullying I've got in my childhood.
Exactly😮
I faced harrasment with 6 narcissists and hundreds of flying moneys..That's more than a hell.. Now with 1milignant narcissistic husband directly and rest of 5 indirectly.. oh my God it's torture that nobody understands even we express others they can't believe it they treat u as abuser and narcissists as victims .
danish you are genius brother this is my family cult you are talking about
Whenever I am filled with questions you always come forward with all the answers. Thank you so much for this great help to realize me that I am not the only suffering.
Perfect description! Thank you! I have experienced all of it but only now start to understand the whole picture of this total abuse and bullying in my family.
Each and every points said in this video happened from my husband and his parents and a married sister of husband who is still in my husband's home
This is so detailed perfectly. Wow Danish.. you are a gift! This is my life with my whole family. 😢 I truly am a scapegoat
Thank You for clarifying the Family unit of Narcs
Backfire to narcissist, I love God thank God Amen
Thank you, Danish
I will need to listen to it again
Thank you so much always Danish.
God bless you
from JANESVILLE, WI
The thing is, ...in families, ...it doesn't always look mean, especially when the queen is outside of your birth family... meaning your parent in the actual narcissistic family is the enabler ...and not all the time, but is also shamed and devalued, but still supports the system and tells their children that they need to take pity on these people too, they deserve love and service, because they've had a "hard life". And when the narcissists are present and acting directly in their life, ...it's hell on earth and all hands on deck, to please them and whatever or whomever they want to impress.
God bless you 4 this video , I very much experienced this
All the points are absolutely correct ❤❤ I've experienced all of them
If the parents are corrupt ur doomed to be in their family .
They hurt children n shit
Yes it is!
Thankyou so so much for bringing these points so accurately, the mother's story you told is exactly same as mine, you are totally right, thankyou sir !
Thanks, Danish. 🌻
Oh yeah, they do hunt you down. And the instinctively stick together (though will turn on each other when one gets old). It's weird how they instinctively recognize each other and stick together.
Omg Danish... you are just describing word by word what I'm currently experiencing. No matter what happens, the Narc should never be hurt, his lies are waived off as casual things, he has a loooong list of everything he did for the family, and his minions continue to reinforce how much he sacrificed... I.e paying bills, taking family on holiday, paying for child's education.... or reparing the house once.... their point is... so his cheating and abuses should be waived off , at the end of the day those were mistakes and narc is repentant...as usual playing victim... minions say... he has done lot for the family and their focus is shifted on me... the one who raised questions, counter argued and refused to give in to the bulshit narrative... now the entire family, relatives discussing my drawbacks and that I should seek psychology support... which I would love , coz il get a sane minded person to talk to.... but will the narc get ready to see a therapist as well ??? They are too perfect for that...isn't it....and anyway the problem is not with them... its with me...the scapegoat....Danish I am actually facing all of this today.... getting forced to forgive... remember the good sides of narc... lol... and just like you, it's my mother...who is also a narc...overt type ... enabling the abuse of my covert narc father... there is a huge gossip going on behind my back... where even my mum participates , even though she is victim of my abusive cheating manipulative ,narc father.... even then my mother tries to shift the focus on me , and how I should work towards improving my life, advices, complaints, lectures all keeping me in limelight... when the real problem lies elsewhere... so much drama just so that my narc dad doesn't feel uncomfortable... even though he is super abusive , pathological liar, and cheats , abnormal sexual activities he does outside of marriage.... You just described my life ...right now
This is an impactful share. Thank you.
I never realized that I grew up with a narcissist. They would triangulate me and do all sorts of stuff. But I can talk to you while they hate you. And still be friends with both. Boy did they try to stop that. Thank god I didn’t get their disorder. Someone else did. Congrats on your achievement psychologist. I notice you use that now. I have a psych degree. Only a bs. 😊
Excellent information. Thank you
Excellent video! I wonder how long it took you healing the narcissistic abuse you endured in your family?
Now please make a video how is this narcissistic family cult originated... does a normal healthy family get tainted by a narcissistic woman who brings the ruin in the entire upcoming bloodline? Please we want a video on your deep analysis over this
🌞🌙🌟 Excellent information here.
My own family .I'm shock ..I divorce my ex , but I thought my kids will be neutral but all take sides to my ex .I thought they will be neutral.i cried for a while but I understand a still voice I heard and I understand that my family is a cult.i move on but I understand now .I accept being alone and isolated but I understand that they csnt reach out me because of disorder
Thank GOODNESS for your remarkable insight, & content!! I am very sorry that you had to suffer so much, very sad…
You are & have been nothing less than L I F E S A V I N G for many, many people who your Therapy has finally given HOPE. ❤️
He is the best person his family could have ever had.
Outstanding content. THANK YOU!
His family a cult not mine. Love your work you are awesome***!!!😊
Thank you, Danish for telling it like it is!
This is the type of motivation i needed 😍
In every way possible.
Your cat is so adorable❤❤❤😊
I married into this family cult of narcissists, my now ex h being chief among them. And I was the scapegoat 100% because I did not play along, I just couldn’t. I wasn’t raised like that. I had wonderful, loving safe parents. Thank God.
My family... and I didn't even recognize this until I went to therapy at 37yrs old
All 5 - you had me at "family cult." There is no one more hated than an apostate.
The last one hit me; I was constantly accused of dwelling on the past...yet female parent was allowed to whine about her past (which was at least 27 years prior to my own past) all she wanted.
The other form of bullying not mentioned is "it's okay for everyone else to _______, but not for me (scapegoat) to do /say the exact same thing or retaliate equally." My sister loves to extoll stories of how I would 'claw' her in the arm when I was younger. She conveniently leaves out the part where she is screaming in my face that i was a "PROBLEM CHILD!!" over and over again until I had no choice but to strike out physically. She refused to stop even after witnessing my distress.
The bullying often begins for victims of Narc families with the first diaper change. The Queen Narc got away with raising unloved and abused children for decades, because culturally we we were taught all bullies are males. Today we can change the fate of damaging childhoods by knowing what this type of dehumanizing behavior produces.... sociopaths and psychopaths to say the least. Excellent insights Danish, thank you! 💯
My sister still leaves messages on my phone, but NOW I never return her calls. She has hit me, called me names, stolen my identity and dug through and photographed EVERYTHING I own. She has tried to force me to have sex with strangers so they would give her money. She has humiliated me my entire life- She has left messages this week that she plans to come visit and stay with me again. NO WAY ! I’m done with her ! She is afraid of nothing and will do anything and everything to finish me off. Wish that I had seen Danish’s videos years ago, because then I would have understood what kind of person she really was and got rid of her decades ago !
I'm going to post my experience before I listen to see if it matches up. I was told that "nobody cares about me enough to bother abusing or hurting me, I'm paranoid and should be ashamed of myself". The flying monkeys initially tried to stroke me but only to gather info. until I coaxed them into revealing their true selves. One monkey continued to play me by trying to soothe me until I discovered it was all an act. Then when it was in their interest I was told "how everybody loves me and wishes me the best" and "I just need to get over it"(the abuse). This is their dysfunctional cycle, they abuse each other then sweep everything under the carpet over and over again. This behavior is o.k. because this is how our family has been for generations. Suck it up and play the game it's your duty as a member of the family.
Indeed. I'll add a number of scoldings for lacking loyalty--to people who showed none to me!?!😂 🤪Some people wallow in crazy. I just walk away (ok-run!).
Yes, I have gone through this. My father used to beat my mother, physically abuse her in front of us all the siblings. I was the youngest among the siblings. When I was around 18 years old, once my father came to beat my mother, I held his shirt collar and pushed him back instinctively to protect my mother from physical abuse. You know what my mother said, she said ‘go and ask your father for forgiveness’. What ?
I have been their for years till the bad narcissistic persons died
So true. 😢what to do., where to go
Triangulation and flying monkeys are strong with these families.
Also, when narcissist indeed admits their wrong doings they ALWAYS minimize what they did or find excuses and even when they try to make amend they expect immediate forgiveness and get angry when you don't and start playing the victim to the flying monkeys who tried to guilt trip you into forgiving them.
I had to leave my familie, i was the familie scapegoat. They treatet me realey bad and abused me for years. I am grandmother. The did not help when I was ill , They excluded me from familie . They never game at my home, i had to go on bike 18 kilometer to visit them .i am 59 years old. They promised me for my 50 birthday a familie trip to Rome, They went without me and send me fotograpfs from Rome. For Cristmas i bought with love presents for all the familie members. They gave me promissis to go swimming with the grandchilderen and a diner at a restaurant. We never went. When I game to visit while a had always an appointment ,They began hoovering, doing the laundery upstairs, go for groceries. No one talked at birthday partys. They had a lot of crimes to hide and they know i do not accept childabuse because they use cocaïne. It was realey painful to be grandmother and familie scapegoat in a narcessistic familie. God bless every one who are familie scapegoat. Love from a scapegoat from Holland
Curious to know whether narcissists do set "moral boundaries" when it comes to incest? I have never seen that talked about specifically. I do know that cheating sexually is easy for them.
Please, give me advise 🙏 imagine situation when you are married to narcissist and adopt and raise his child since 16 months old. Who is autistic and who never got evaluation, or any help from doctor. Now he is 14 and something happened to him. He is violent and abusive. Before he was just ruling the whole household. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO.
@@annazavarzina6145
See a doctor who can evaluate his condition.
Try to have boundaries with the teenager.If all goes well ,good.If your narc husband objects to you having boundaries with himself and the teenager...insist on what you won't allow to happen to you anymore!
If they resist...you don't have a peaceful future with them.Have a source of income and leave.
All the best to you ,dear.
@@savitagupta132 I left already. Going through divorce. But I worry about the little one. I AM LISTENING TO EVERYTHING YOU SAY HERE, trust me.
P.S. for some reason I have this feeling, that my personal hell right now will help others later. Even though it is HELL.
Mama said long time ago, “If you can’t be good example, be a horrible warning!” 😏 Back then it was a joke. But I think I made mama proud.
Thank you again! ♥️
Yes after 30+ yrs I'm out
Btw I married into this
Facts
Hhhhmmm so that means my wife had 2 narcissistic parents. Her mom loves to be the victim and her daughter plays into it hhhmmm makes perfect sense why she chose me over her. Her mom blamed me for EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN and took no accountability whatsoever absolutely none Scapegoating me on why she didn't go see her husband when he was sick but took work trips to Chicago to tell us how beautiful it was and hows she living the dream. Husband was sick in NY basically just talked behind his back about how crazy he was etc etc and much much more. Wife blindly followed because was the "crazy one" everyone is crazy but her mom I noticed she even talked about her husband's daughter how she was dirty, how she smokes too many cigarettes, and much more how his son was a whack job because he had mental issues and was crazy also. Husband wants to help run my business but he can't run his own kids and how he's nothing without her etc etc. As soon as he came back then it was ALL MY FAULT. I was wondering if it was really me but I thibk what hurts the most is that my child is being held back from me seeing her. Mom said if you don't do as i say you'll never see your wife or your daughter again after I didn't do as she said they done conspired against me and I became the bad guy 🤦🏾♂️ and was told to leave. I was literally taking their crap for a while and as soon as I stood up for myself I had to leave. Now I was wrong for putting our secret out their yeah but sheesh you push a person in the corner too long he's going to say something slick hellloooooo it's common sense ya know.