A narcissist giving you the silent treatment is nothing more than a dry run showing you how great it's gonna be once you get them the fuck out of your life.
The one guy I dated back in 2020 texted me, "I run hot and cold sometimes and I need space". I didn't know what it meant nor was I aware of narcissism. So, I said, "I know the feeling, if you need space take some space". 😂😂 However, during 2020 I was getting tired of being mistreated from everyone starting with my family. He was the start of me going "No Contact" and distancing myself from toxic energy. After my response, I took a few trips and posted on social media. He saw my photos and videos and text me, "You look Happy" and I said, "Yes". I didn't communicate much with him after that exchange. My journey of self discovery and wisdom on narc abuse had just begun so I was okay with letting go. It wasn't an easy journey and now 4 yrs later I am the "Cut Off" "No Contact" queen. 😂😂
My experience was them picking contrived arguments for seemingly no reason, then the silent treatment. Usually because of someone they were after behind the scenes. It’s often used to get u out of the picture for a while
I got the silent treatment prior to my husband discarding me for the secretary from his work, at the time i didn't understand it. Im now giving him the silent treatment, he deserves nothing of me. Good luck to him and his Jezebel who knew he was married 😂
They HATE questions and general conversation. This is also why there is no healthy communication when in a relationship with them, also if you have a kid with them...all communication is cut out. There is no way to communicate with these people.
What used to blow my mind was being strongly asked to call to check on her, then not getting an answer. So it's a double bind. If you didnt go over to her place to see if ok you feel like your expressing you don't care. Then when you show up "unannounced" you are ignored and no answer at door with unknown vehicle in driveway. Yet lights are on...that go out. It's not a timer. One thing is for sure....you learn how not to care. Human garbage. If you want that, you are wading in trash. Trash never becomes fresh again.
I've gone no contact only today after 9 years, I'm pretty strong but your videos are making my heart into steel. I'll be watching every video, i mean every one. Thank you for your help and sharing priceless wisdom
I’ll never want to feel sad n sorry for a man at 50 lives with his two brothers 56 so their even sicker lying cheating covert mother sleeps in bed with one of them KNOCK KNOCK RR
I wound have loved to see the new supplies face once I discarded him and he had the biggest narc injury - he looked like shit ! She’s wellcome to him ! He underestimated me and he said so 😂😂😂😂
Covert narcissist "pulled back " while trying to bait me into chasing after him, thinking I had an anxious attachment style. I knew exactly what he was trying to do and went completely indifferent.
BEWARE the (covert narc's) silent treatment. He conditioned me early on that when he feels so ashamed, overwhelmed, stressed, he would "shut down". I'd give him the space only to realize that he was orchestrating it so he could place me on the shelf. Thank God I didn't marry him or buy a home with him. I often felt like he'd prefer separate bedrooms.
My ex female covert must have asked me a 100 times for us to marry. My 'Guardian angel' my inner voice would scream at me 'DO NOT marry thos woman'. I'm so proud I listened and I now know that this voice will look after me , is always on my side and is always 100% right. 15 months 100% NC and yes it gets easier and easier, trauma bond pretty much broken and feeling liberated and happy. No walking on eggshells, no waiting for the next putdown dressed up as "only a joke'. No more dozens of men floating about and the BS 'we're just friends '. Now back to a normal stable life with decent trustworthy respectful people. Not this monster and her very weird way of living, the next guy is v welcome to her. Free, free at last!
I was too proud to beg for his attention. Thinking he had got what he wanted from me. If that was a discard, so be it. Didn't take him long to come back. Thank Joe❤❤❤
Thinking back to how many times I abandoned myself for one of the “hello” or “I miss you” Hoovers. After ghosting time and time again. How desperate is that on MY part! Had I loved myself or had a slice of respect for myself, I would’ve NEVER. Ew. So gross.
That's what my ex Narcissist did. He say he "missed me" or, "He wanted me back" "Hi Gorgeous" and many others after the discard. Just recently I got a "Hi" and "Hope all is well." After 2mos of no-contact. I never went back to him after the discard/break-up. But, he has tried many times. Once I started educating myself on this channel and many others, I knew they were hoovers. He hurt me so bad, I didn't want him back. And, I NEVER forgot what he did to me and how he was. They can be very believable. I've been informed it's worse when you go back again & again and they discard & ghost over & over.
@@SagittariusBabe87 yep exactly. Let’s not forget that we are also programmed to be addicted to them because of the push and pull. The back and forth. I’d say I’d never talk to him again but the addiction and trauma bond was so strong it’s like I was a puppet. Keep up the no contact. Joes videos kick ass. And so do we!!!
@@Ehuff Yes, I knew he had a few women in his life and was catching on to him and all the questionable behaviors. Also, he was VERY abusive. That turned me off completely. I broke the trauma-bond but, was not easy and he was persistent. I was also dealing with someone who was Bi-Polar, Narcissstic, ADHD, and not medicated. It was a horrible experience. I am def staying no-contact.
I’m sorry it’s no fun. Just RUN. I completely look like a different person was diagnosed with HS, which I need to take 2 shots of humaira each month. I have great insurance, if I wouldn’t have insurance it would be 7,500 per month and I’m also on acne cream X 2.and that would have been 1250 per month. If it’s covert they are wolves in sheep’s clothings. Once I figured it out I didn’t look back. I had NO IDEA.👈🏻 please love yourself and get out the best way you possibly can, their whole point is to destroy you. 👈🏻
Thanks for the talk. I have a wife married to for 24 years. She hasn't spoken to me a word for 4 years. Have a son who needs my help for a few more months then I am out. She's sick beyond human standards. I cannot just put in words her behaviour. Never, not once, managed to have a civil conversation to try and understand her issues beyond shouting, screaming, etc.
I've dealt with 2 narc, they send their flying monkey, secondly they hoover after enough time has passed, expecting you to forget all the abuse they put you through Stay no contact
Thank you Joe! I was disgarded in a rage. Then he was nice to me. Then i got the silent treatment. He lives next door. I texted him several times trying to communicate with him. He always says leave me the f alone, so i do now. Took me 5 months to even begin to heal. Thank God for youtube & these videos that have really helped me to understand what happened.
Interesting video, Joe! Makes so much sense why they impliment the silent treatment. I remember my ex Narc did that in the beginning when we were dating. One of the first red flags I ignored and didn't think much about cause, he covered it up later. Didn't answer my texts or calls all weekend. I was so suspicious and genuinlly hurt & confused why he wouldn't answer, when we were texting and calling eachother everyday. Later said He was dealing with his baby mom and didn't want to put all that frustration on Me. At the time, they were separated and in different living situations. Now, I believe he was still seeing another ex gf at the time we started dating and was giving the silent treatment. Eventually, things continued into more & more poor behavior over time. The Narcissstic Abuse Cycle unfolded in front of my eyes before I even knew what I was dealing with. I'm thankful I been out of the Narcissstic Cycle, for several months now and educated myself on the cycle. Such a sneaky, terrible, abusive person. Your videos always help to clarify what has happened and why they do what they do. Thank you, Joe🙏💙☺️
Yup she gave me the silent treatment. She blocked me on socials and the last text message I sent her was "you're seriously ghosting me? Real mature ok then 👍" and that was it. Never chased, never called, never texted her again. Come to find out that she actually immediately went on dating apps looking for my replacement. I guarantee she's livid I didn't chase after her or get the reaction she was looking for. I'm sure she has a new guy by now but I'll live rent free in her head once the novelty wears off, I was the one who got away and never begged/pleaded unlike all her previous exes.
My ex was the master of silent treatments and just disappearing with a million excuses. When I finally went no contact after 4 years of this hell, it did make it easier to get used to being without him. It wasn't much different than being in a relationship with him.
It happened to me last year june. After 4 years of no contact, received some text from unknown number and wondered if is scammer or anybody else. I looked at the profile picture of the contact and there she was.she texted me with diff phone number. I have told her not to contact me again back then but still being contacted by her So without hesitation, i just deleted blocked her without saying anything. Its just scary and you are absolutely right that they do come back
The reason why this happened to me is because she was Stepping out looking for the next source And she was expecting me to do all the communicating to her, not asking anything of me. And asking me to come up with all the conversation, not giving me any cues or anything, any answers anything every time to ask her a question, she said fine every time I said. How was your day? It's okay it's fine. Tough to answer those questions and figure out what she means. But she was on her way out
He wants us to grovel to his feet and apologize for something we didn't even do. He is very mean very mean. He doesn't care anything about his daughter . She is very sad and heartbroken . And she knows that he is a narcissist. But to cut her off financially it is wrong.
Going on week 4 of the silent treatment. He did not respond to a text over 3 weeks ago, and I did not chase him. I suspect he sees tagged pics of me on FB and does not like that I am enjoying life with friends. I am being punished. I am an empath and would very much like to sit down and talk about our relationship; to see if anything is salvageable. I guess the silence is an indication that the relationship is over. How can someone be so diametrically different during the love-bombing? Do narcissist have a multiple personality disorder, on top of everything else?
So my daughter is going through that now and I he will not speak to us because my daughter did not agree to talk about me with him so he's cut her off from giving her any money he hasn't even answered her phone calls he stopped calling her he is such a child. He has stopped giving me money for her braces. He is so horrible.
I’d sooner die than chase after someone giving me the silent treatment 😠
@reneejkd just Nope!! 👎
The poor thing got its feelings hurt how does FO sound
A narcissist giving you the silent treatment is nothing more than a dry run showing you how great it's gonna be once you get them the fuck out of your life.
The one guy I dated back in 2020 texted me, "I run hot and cold sometimes and I need space". I didn't know what it meant nor was I aware of narcissism. So, I said, "I know the feeling, if you need space take some space". 😂😂
However, during 2020 I was getting tired of being mistreated from everyone starting with my family. He was the start of me going "No Contact" and distancing myself from toxic energy.
After my response, I took a few trips and posted on social media. He saw my photos and videos and text me, "You look Happy" and I said, "Yes".
I didn't communicate much with him after that exchange. My journey of self discovery and wisdom on narc abuse had just begun so I was okay with letting go.
It wasn't an easy journey and now 4 yrs later I am the "Cut Off" "No Contact" queen. 😂😂
My experience was them picking contrived arguments for seemingly no reason, then the silent treatment. Usually because of someone they were after behind the scenes. It’s often used to get u out of the picture for a while
Boom ! Spot on. Be in no ones supply chain.
@@bradmcewen it’s horrible when you realize 😩
@@bradmcewen Both of these comments are so astute!
I got the silent treatment prior to my husband discarding me for the secretary from his work, at the time i didn't understand it. Im now giving him the silent treatment, he deserves nothing of me. Good luck to him and his Jezebel who knew he was married 😂
They HATE questions and general conversation. This is also why there is no healthy communication when in a relationship with them, also if you have a kid with them...all communication is cut out. There is no way to communicate with these people.
Silent treatment is so toxic and immature.
This!!
What used to blow my mind was being strongly asked to call to check on her, then not getting an answer. So it's a double bind. If you didnt go over to her place to see if ok you feel like your expressing you don't care. Then when you show up "unannounced" you are ignored and no answer at door with unknown vehicle in driveway. Yet lights are on...that go out. It's not a timer. One thing is for sure....you learn how not to care. Human garbage. If you want that, you are wading in trash. Trash never becomes fresh again.
@reneejkd You're absolutely right.👏 Things we must learn never having had to before ! What a strange trip that was...
I would not chase anyone no matter how much I wanted to. They dont want to talk they can take a hike.
Same here I never chased my ex when she disappeared and probably cheated bye 10 months zero contact I knew she off early I played along
I've gone no contact only today after 9 years, I'm pretty strong but your videos are making my heart into steel. I'll be watching every video, i mean every one. Thank you for your help and sharing priceless wisdom
How are you doing? Still NC after a month?
I’m happy to hear your on same day as me 6yrs in n I’m beyond weak but still Im optimistic
I’ll never want to feel sad n sorry for a man at 50 lives with his two brothers 56 so their even sicker lying cheating covert mother sleeps in bed with one of them KNOCK KNOCK RR
Knowing what I know now...
They're getting an on the spot dump. No discussion, no closure, nothing at all.
I wound have loved to see the new supplies face once I discarded him and he had the biggest narc injury - he looked like shit ! She’s wellcome to him ! He underestimated me and he said so 😂😂😂😂
This is a great video as usual 🙂
Spreading high quality information about narcissism is very useful.
Thank you ❤
Covert narcissist "pulled back " while trying to bait me into chasing after him, thinking I had an anxious attachment style. I knew exactly what he was trying to do and went completely indifferent.
BEWARE the (covert narc's) silent treatment. He conditioned me early on that when he feels so ashamed, overwhelmed, stressed, he would "shut down". I'd give him the space only to realize that he was orchestrating it so he could place me on the shelf. Thank God I didn't marry him or buy a home with him. I often felt like he'd prefer separate bedrooms.
I could have written this comment. I hope your healing journey is going well 🥰
@@familiamckenziefriend1130 Thank you! One day at a time, but at least the migraines have stopped. I hope you're healing too
My ex female covert must have asked me a 100 times for us to marry. My 'Guardian angel' my inner voice would scream at me 'DO NOT marry thos woman'. I'm so proud I listened and I now know that this voice will look after me , is always on my side and is always 100% right. 15 months 100% NC and yes it gets easier and easier, trauma bond pretty much broken and feeling liberated and happy. No walking on eggshells, no waiting for the next putdown dressed up as "only a joke'. No more dozens of men floating about and the BS 'we're just friends '. Now back to a normal stable life with decent trustworthy respectful people. Not this monster and her very weird way of living, the next guy is v welcome to her. Free, free at last!
Yeah my ex prefers men in his bed rr
You were fortunate. No marriage, mortgage or kids.
I was too proud to beg for his attention. Thinking he had got what he wanted from me. If that was a discard, so be it. Didn't take him long to come back. Thank Joe❤❤❤
Thinking back to how many times I abandoned myself for one of the “hello” or “I miss you” Hoovers. After ghosting time and time again. How desperate is that on MY part! Had I loved myself or had a slice of respect for myself, I would’ve NEVER. Ew. So gross.
That's what my ex Narcissist did. He say he "missed me" or, "He wanted me back" "Hi Gorgeous" and many others after the discard. Just recently I got a "Hi" and "Hope all is well." After 2mos of no-contact. I never went back to him after the discard/break-up. But, he has tried many times. Once I started educating myself on this channel and many others, I knew they were hoovers. He hurt me so bad, I didn't want him back. And, I NEVER forgot what he did to me and how he was. They can be very believable. I've been informed it's worse when you go back again & again and they discard & ghost over & over.
@@SagittariusBabe87 yep exactly. Let’s not forget that we are also programmed to be addicted to them because of the push and pull. The back and forth. I’d say I’d never talk to him again but the addiction and trauma bond was so strong it’s like I was a puppet. Keep up the no contact. Joes videos kick ass. And so do we!!!
@@Ehuff Yes, I knew he had a few women in his life and was catching on to him and all the questionable behaviors. Also, he was VERY abusive. That turned me off completely. I broke the trauma-bond but, was not easy and he was persistent. I was also dealing with someone who was Bi-Polar, Narcissstic, ADHD, and not medicated. It was a horrible experience. I am def staying no-contact.
@@SagittariusBabe87 #survivor
Don't be too hard yourself. They are master manipulators. You have weapons to fight in the war now.
I wish I would have known all of this years ago……..Grateful and still hopefully because of the God who lives in my life ❤ Trust and believe ✝️🙏
Going through this right now. So glad you sent this out today just when I needed it.
Focus on you! Leave them to play their games with someone else, you're too valuable💚
I’m sorry it’s no fun. Just RUN. I completely look like a different person was diagnosed with HS, which I need to take 2 shots of humaira each month. I have great insurance, if I wouldn’t have insurance it would be 7,500 per month and I’m also on acne cream X 2.and that would have been 1250 per month. If it’s covert they are wolves in sheep’s clothings. Once I figured it out I didn’t look back. I had NO IDEA.👈🏻 please love yourself and get out the best way you possibly can, their whole point is to destroy you. 👈🏻
Thanks to you Joe, I dont care anymore. Im glad they're leaving me alone. Makes grey rocking and no contact easier.
Thanks for the talk. I have a wife married to for 24 years. She hasn't spoken to me a word for 4 years. Have a son who needs my help for a few more months then I am out. She's sick beyond human standards. I cannot just put in words her behaviour. Never, not once, managed to have a civil conversation to try and understand her issues beyond shouting, screaming, etc.
Your only good supply if you boost their Ego. I decided I attract, not chase.
How does a narcissist come back when they've smeared, devalued, discarded and you've thanked them for the closure? 😆😁
I've dealt with 2 narc, they send their flying monkey, secondly they hoover after enough time has passed, expecting you to forget all the abuse they put you through
Stay no contact
I used to ask questions when I got the silent treatment, now I just let them be and move on.
Thank you Joe! I was disgarded in a rage. Then he was nice to me. Then i got the silent treatment. He lives next door. I texted him several times trying to communicate with him. He always says leave me the f alone, so i do now. Took me 5 months to even begin to heal. Thank God for youtube & these videos that have really helped me to understand what happened.
It is so evil.
Yuk. Run.
Interesting video, Joe! Makes so much sense why they impliment the silent treatment. I remember my ex Narc did that in the beginning when we were dating. One of the first red flags I ignored and didn't think much about cause, he covered it up later. Didn't answer my texts or calls all weekend. I was so suspicious and genuinlly hurt & confused why he wouldn't answer, when we were texting and calling eachother everyday. Later said He was dealing with his baby mom and didn't want to put all that frustration on Me. At the time, they were separated and in different living situations. Now, I believe he was still seeing another ex gf at the time we started dating and was giving the silent treatment. Eventually, things continued into more & more poor behavior over time. The Narcissstic Abuse Cycle unfolded in front of my eyes before I even knew what I was dealing with. I'm thankful I been out of the Narcissstic Cycle, for several months now and educated myself on the cycle. Such a sneaky, terrible, abusive person. Your videos always help to clarify what has happened and why they do what they do.
Thank you, Joe🙏💙☺️
Do I miss the narcissist? No I’m good, I’m straight, no chaser 😎
Yup she gave me the silent treatment. She blocked me on socials and the last text message I sent her was "you're seriously ghosting me? Real mature ok then 👍" and that was it. Never chased, never called, never texted her again. Come to find out that she actually immediately went on dating apps looking for my replacement.
I guarantee she's livid I didn't chase after her or get the reaction she was looking for. I'm sure she has a new guy by now but I'll live rent free in her head once the novelty wears off, I was the one who got away and never begged/pleaded unlike all her previous exes.
These people are toxic as hell. They are the most inconsistent communicators.
It's deliberate. It's controlling. It's a "dark triad" behaviour.
You're right Joe he's testing my dependency on him you see I'm still going to pay that bill I'm still going to take care of her.
Good morning 🌞 time to enjoy a cup joe with Joe☕☕ and to watch a new magical video. Thank you Joe !🤗❤ Very good point NEVER CHASE THEM !!! 12.4K 👍👍👍
❤ thank you!!
This is just it. You are conditioned to do so.
Lesson learned, anyone requiring you to do so is not worth it. It's a shit test.
My ex was the master of silent treatments and just disappearing with a million excuses. When I finally went no contact after 4 years of this hell, it did make it easier to get used to being without him. It wasn't much different than being in a relationship with him.
Joe you are tops.!!!
I don't care how he feels about me. I care how he treats my daughter. That's it.
Thank you!
All hobgoblins do it. But BPDs are the worst by far...
It happened to me last year june. After 4 years of no contact, received some text from unknown number and wondered if is scammer or anybody else. I looked at the profile picture of the contact and there she was.she texted me with diff phone number. I have told her not to contact me again back then but still being contacted by her
So without hesitation, i just deleted blocked her without saying anything. Its just scary and you are absolutely right that they do come back
The reason why this happened to me is because she was Stepping out looking for the next source And she was expecting me to do all the communicating to her, not asking anything of me. And asking me to come up with all the conversation, not giving me any cues or anything, any answers anything every time to ask her a question, she said fine every time I said. How was your day? It's okay it's fine. Tough to answer those questions and figure out what she means. But she was on her way out
He wants us to grovel to his feet and apologize for something we didn't even do. He is very mean very mean. He doesn't care anything about his daughter . She is very sad and heartbroken . And she knows that he is a narcissist. But to cut her off financially it is wrong.
I give the silent treatment back no chasing whatsoever i just go complicit silent
I've been away from mines for three years almost
Can you do a video about the best way to respond to backhanded compliments and abusive "jokes"?
Don't react. Their getting a boost or high from your reaction..
@@RandallGlatt Thanks. That makes total sense.
I think he expected me to chase after him he was very much mistaken. Thought he had me right where he wanted me very mistaken once again.
Missing your new uploads Joe. Hope all is well. 😢
Same
Completely silent rather
Going on week 4 of the silent treatment. He did not respond to a text over 3 weeks ago, and I did not chase him. I suspect he sees tagged pics of me on FB and does not like that I am enjoying life with friends. I am being punished. I am an empath and would very much like to sit down and talk about our relationship; to see if anything is salvageable. I guess the silence is an indication that the relationship is over. How can someone be so diametrically different during the love-bombing? Do narcissist have a multiple personality disorder, on top of everything else?
i was doing the amount of time it took her to reply i would take that amount of time with my reply and the same amount of words
You ok Joe?
I know right. He never goes 2 weeks without an upload. I hope he’s okay 😕
@@ghostrecon3834 Hes been posting on Quora so I think hes fine... miss his voice tho.
So my daughter is going through that now and I he will not speak to us because my daughter did not agree to talk about me with him so he's cut her off from giving her any money he hasn't even answered her phone calls he stopped calling her he is such a child. He has stopped giving me money for her braces. He is so horrible.
Another informative video @ 555 likes!
Ty 🕊️✨🙏💪🪽🫶👏
IMO narcissists don't know they're narcissists. Why not? For one to know they're a narcissist takes self-reflection which narcissists do not posses.
But the things they do seem very premeditated, so how do they not know?