When Narcissist Acts Like Nothing Happened

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  • Опубліковано 3 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 90

  • @manzanitaverde5455
    @manzanitaverde5455 10 місяців тому +38

    Aww, yes, the famous "get over it, and stop living in the past" move!!

  • @czecka143
    @czecka143 Рік тому +58

    Any time I brought up something that hurt me. Then he would get frustrated and say I was dwelling on it, even though he had just done the devaluing again

    • @candace8200
      @candace8200 Рік тому +1

      Yup.

    • @nv_chino
      @nv_chino Рік тому +3

      Don’t they all

    • @pams2750
      @pams2750 Рік тому +1

      Same❤

    • @robin2319
      @robin2319 Рік тому +1

      Always the same shit just another day w a narc boyfriend. Im done ✔️

  • @terrancemcclendon456
    @terrancemcclendon456 11 місяців тому +21

    " how long ago was that" " let the past go"

    • @parent013
      @parent013 7 місяців тому

      This 100%. They do not have the honor to accept their own shame/embarrassment or they got caught. Nope, not going to forget the words you said, they hurt and abusive.

    • @terrancemcclendon456
      @terrancemcclendon456 7 місяців тому +1

      @@parent013 no family or people are perfect but narcs smile and laugh shows malice

    • @saulescamilla3605
      @saulescamilla3605 5 місяців тому +1

      @@parent013 to piggyback off what you said, they also don’t forget about what YOU said or did to them. Can’t stand those hypocrites! It’s always an issue that needs to be dealt with when YOU do something but when THEY do something we gotta get over it? Idk how I dealt with 7 years of that, thank God she discarded me!

  • @the.toxic.phoenix
    @the.toxic.phoenix Рік тому +21

    My nex did that. He'd either do this fake ass apology after backtracking, or if he did leave the room he'd come back like nothing happened, and if I was (inevitably) still upset when he came back then I'd be the one starting an argument!! 😳 And you're right, it definitely opened it up for it to happen again and again. It was like groundhog day in hell. The same weird circular arguments all the time.

  • @marcibarnes3422
    @marcibarnes3422 Рік тому +15

    OMG!I have lived this for more years than I want to admit. SPOT ON!

  • @Coco-og7zw
    @Coco-og7zw Рік тому +20

    I go thru this on a regular basis and can confirm that this is 💯% TRUE!!!!!

  • @nancyjones9793
    @nancyjones9793 Рік тому +16

    Oh yeah, show up, move back in, and put his feet up. How about no? No way. Not again. You are right; there is no excuse for that kind of nuts.

  • @MeCynthiaAnn
    @MeCynthiaAnn 7 місяців тому +14

    These behaviors are so so so so demonic it’s like everybody went to the same school to do the same games. There’s gotta be demonic spirits for sure.

  • @czecka143
    @czecka143 Рік тому +24

    I am focusing on accepting my version of closure: the deception is over, he is dealing with a disorder, and I'm dealing with my Echoism disorder (one step away from codependent).
    Closure is accountability - to yourself and self respect

    • @junecoleman9030
      @junecoleman9030 Місяць тому

      Tell me we were not being brainwashed …we allow ourselves to be taken hostage ..all to play happy families again …let’s be hyper aware of what’s going on so we can say STOP …YOUR GAMES ARE BULLSHIT

    • @junecoleman9030
      @junecoleman9030 Місяць тому

      Tell me we were not being brainwashed …we allow ourselves to be taken hostage ..all to play happy families again …let’s be hyper aware of what’s going on so we can say STOP …YOUR GAMES ARE BULLSHIT
      Tell me would you bang your head physically against the wall until it’s a bloody pulp …

  • @angeliapage3518
    @angeliapage3518 Рік тому +17

    My ex's favorite saying when I brought up something that he physically said or did was "that's your view of what happened, I see it differently". I was like you saying I didn't see with my own eyes or hear with my ears what was said or did? He'd say "yeah" that's how you interpreted what I did". I would be so confused as to why we both didn't see or hear the same thing. He rarely apologized for anything that he did or said, if an apology came it was days later and it was a half hearted one that was backhanded like, "I'm sorry I did x,y or z but u said this or that that's why I did what I did"🤦🏽‍♀️...

    • @candace8200
      @candace8200 Рік тому +4

      Yes! Same here. They are very very sick people.

    • @Hunstons_Herps
      @Hunstons_Herps Рік тому +3

      Yes!! Mine went one step further and in family court accused his own 7y.o daughter of lying by stating "I didn't tell her her mummy has a bad brain so she can't see her. That's her childlike interpretation of what I actually said" needless to say no one believed him and I won my case!!

    • @wave8867
      @wave8867 Рік тому

      Proper gaslighting.

    • @GoogleUser-pc6tu
      @GoogleUser-pc6tu 7 місяців тому

      Same

  • @aniou8126
    @aniou8126 Рік тому +5

    I just want to say that your videos are so incredibly validating. For decades I didn't know what it was that I was experiencing. I couldn't understand the duplicity - how someone could rage one minute and then act like nothing happened 10 minutes later. He expected me to just "get over it" and if I wanted to talk about it, he would accuse me of being "argumentative". It was beyond confusing, and I didn't know how to label it except to say he was like "Jekyll & Hyde" - sweet & charming to the outside world, while being a moody, inconsistent, angry, deceitful, rage-filled monster behind closed doors. Just awful. Thank you for bringing awareness to this insidious personality type.

  • @MasterSplinterPDX
    @MasterSplinterPDX 6 місяців тому +3

    Bruh, "self aware" is an understatement. You not only describe all of the narcissist's behavior to a T, but you perfectly explain the way the abused partner feels, too. Impressive!

  • @swanam_1
    @swanam_1 Рік тому +7

    If narcissists repress all of their feelings of guilt and shame, where does it all go? It has to exist somewhere buried in their mind. Sounds like absolute hell.

  • @swynn3
    @swynn3 Рік тому +5

    After he ran up on me with a gun and refused to admit to what he did and said that it had never happened, I've always wondered why he would never admit to it. Hearing you say that if they admit it, then it really makes them a bad person makes sense because he always professed/bragged about how peacful, calm, and slow to anger he was and him admitting to what he did would go against the lie that he told himself.

  • @Imnotyourdoormat
    @Imnotyourdoormat Рік тому +9

    which is every time.....

  • @amuddymoose
    @amuddymoose 6 місяців тому +3

    This is honestly exactly what my life is like currently…it’s awful.

  • @heathercarter2475
    @heathercarter2475 Рік тому +16

    I nearly killed myself behind one of them...to find out he didn't really love or care at all smh....awful, awful people. The ones that are ACTIVELY getting help that's great. The rest of you physically grown 3 year olds? Please walk off a cliff. I didn't deserve all the hell I got put through for trying to love and understand them. I knew something was off, I just didn't have a name for it. Now....I don't trust people, I keep most at a distance because I assume whoever tries too hard is suspect. It's a hard thing to try to heal and push through alone, but I'm trying

    • @Hunstons_Herps
      @Hunstons_Herps Рік тому +6

      I'm right there with you! What you wrote could have been written by me!

    • @juliecarson4332
      @juliecarson4332 Рік тому +9

      I didn't think I would ever heal but I did 2 months after I kicked him out. Saw a text from a woman then found out everything- cheating and lying the whole 2 years. I cried, prayed, watched these videos, begged God to help me and joined a grief support group. My mom had just passed away also. I didn't think I was ready to date but I had to know if there was a good man out there. I knew Exactly what I was looking for and would not compromise or accept bs. I found a good man. Now the narcissist is trying to get me back after 2 months of no contact. All I can do is laugh at the stuff he comes up with. No narcissist can fool me again. This extremely painful experience had to happen to open my eyes and heal me from childhood trauma also. YOU CAN HEAL with God's amazing power and love.

    • @jacquelynhaas8184
      @jacquelynhaas8184 9 місяців тому +1

      ​@juliecarson4332 so very sorry for your mom 😢😢 I don't know what the heck I would do if I lost my mom she is only one I have . I cannot stand my husband anymore because it is everything you described . Thank you for your strength and endurance as just reading this helps me .

    • @saulescamilla3605
      @saulescamilla3605 5 місяців тому +1

      @@juliecarson4332I’m so sorry for your loss.
      Those monsters always discard you on your lowest. Not sure if you were or not but they do the most heinous things during the most troubling times! The narc I used to deal with left me when I was mentally on my lowest and had lost my grandma, my dad and brother in law passed away 2 years prior, less than a week apart which felt like its was less than that. On top of that dealing with her bs my mind was so overwhelmed, then out of the blue I find out she was seeing someone else. I felt so awful, but thanks to that moment the fire in my soul turned into a torch, then a bright light. That clown did not expect me to be so revived after she wanted me to be beyond miserable.

    • @juliecarson4332
      @juliecarson4332 5 місяців тому +1

      💕 Yes. It was devastating. Lots of praying, crying, a grief support group and family got me through. After 9 months I’m close to trying dating but WILL look for the signs and WILL not compromise nor ignore my intuition. We can be strong and loving at the same time. But only loving to a man who deserves it.

  • @sushi603
    @sushi603 Рік тому +5

    Went through this everytime

  • @freedomofspeech6095
    @freedomofspeech6095 2 місяці тому +3

    These narcs are hell bound. I’m 61 married to a narc for 50;can’t believe what I endured. I’m free now but how absolutely deserving of hell are these demonic souls. Such vileness!

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  2 місяці тому

      It's never too late to begin your healing journey! Join our free masterclass and discover how to break free from toxic relationships here www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass..

  • @stingyringpiece
    @stingyringpiece Рік тому +5

    you've really helped me understand through your channel
    Thank you and kudos

  • @cassien7585
    @cassien7585 Рік тому +10

    My inlaws. My FIL explodes says some really hateful things about my husband then visits us cheesing and smiling bringing gifts. He was offended we didn't invite him in the delivery room when our 3rd was born. Utterly delusional. This type of gaslighting enrages me bc not only do they wanna pretend it didn't happen they want YOU to pretend it didn't either.

    • @soniachambers6460
      @soniachambers6460 Рік тому +1

      The delivery room ? Hell no. 🤢what a pervert

    • @cassien7585
      @cassien7585 Рік тому +1

      @soniachambers6460 he think he belongs he everywhere. His entitlement is boundless

  • @korcampbell6096
    @korcampbell6096 Рік тому +8

    Yea so true I have experience it all

  • @caroleminke6116
    @caroleminke6116 Рік тому +3

    Every time that is how he acted except after the time a sheriff’s deputy escorted him off the property after he called 911… then he said it was horrible 🤦‍♀️

  • @marycauchon4314
    @marycauchon4314 Рік тому +6

    He just pushed everything under the rug. Having had his affair he came back and said now we’re even, WTH.
    I would hear I told you that already. Ah, no you did not. Then to myself I would question myself. Sometimes I felt like I was losing it or else going crazy.
    Having a conversation about issues I felt worse because the whole conversation was flipped and I was the bad guy. I just wanted to resolve the why’s and how can we make things better. I walked away crying or when he started yelling I would say I’m not talking to you until you can calm down. Silence was golden for hrs sometimes days.
    I am free thank god!

  • @pipergunderson-swaney4539
    @pipergunderson-swaney4539 11 місяців тому +4

    Thank you- yup- we had an argument last night about him being distant suddenly again( he does this all the time recently) I slept on the couch- I have been here 17 yrs so I text I still love you and sent a Bible verse- no response- he gets off work at 3:30- 7:30 he rolls in- he just acts normal- oh are you doing art? I just said yes and left- seriously do not want to be around him. I don’t think he gets it- I am pretty much done and can’t even cry anymore. Too many times- only gotten worse- seriously he was not like this when we married- at least I didn’t get it. When his brother died in front of him- he just full on went weird.

  • @brendadean9291
    @brendadean9291 8 місяців тому +2

    My ex narcissist husband told me the affair was meaningless and even told me that I should sleep with someone to see what he means. He also suspected a good male friend of mine of sleeping with me. I was never unfaithful. He told me I did not own him.

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  8 місяців тому +1

      Unfortunately they will often project onto you. Reach out: www.rawmotivations.com/breakthrough

  • @Justadudeman22
    @Justadudeman22 7 місяців тому +2

    This teaching is a life saver. Thank you.

  • @tyseanwilliams4985
    @tyseanwilliams4985 Рік тому +7

    My situation, he had a baby with his kids mom little cuzn, I found out 2 yrs later. He blamed me for his actions, he never really made me feel safe, secure and things just never got better, at least on my part. I have insecurities because of his actions and he always use my insecurities that he created against me. He never did the work to help me or us get to a healthier place, and we're still not in a good place. I believe he has mommy/daddy issues and Ex girlfriend issues and I'm catching hell. He really thinks he's norma. Lost myself/ confused.

    • @TryM.yVivier
      @TryM.yVivier Рік тому +1

      Me too. This sounds Exactly like my situation.Ive become constantly suicidal, just so exhausted physically far away,having moved to a different state, not having any ties to anyone here, and trapped. Well, just know you're not alone&I will remember to say a prayer for you whenever you cross my mind ❤

  • @lizapedersen8435
    @lizapedersen8435 Рік тому +3

    Thank you, thank you, thank you👏🏻 Ben.
    It’s so nice to hear you tell this, as if you were a fly on the Wall in our former house with my ex.
    And family and friends didn’t see that, often they saw my response to him, after he had be mistreating our daughter and myself😢

  • @Fennerfunnyfarm
    @Fennerfunnyfarm 8 місяців тому +2

    This is one of his most infuriating behaviors; acting like nothing happened and pretending to be happy go lucky. Denial, name calling, accusations, etc., the come in 10 minutes later…Gives a kiss..”Hey, babe, what’s up? I pull back to look at him, think it’s a joke or something, and he says,, “see, this is why I stay distant, I try to get close and give affection and this is why I stopped, cause I can’t trust you, you live in the past, you’re always down or angry, you can’t move on, and you treat me like shit, no matter how hard I try” absolutely crazy making!

  • @MeCynthiaAnn
    @MeCynthiaAnn 7 місяців тому +1

    I listen to this one over and over and over again and I will continue days ahead

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  4 місяці тому

      We're here to support your healing journey. Come join us in this free masterclass to learn about the secret methods on breaking free from the toxic. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.

  • @michellek649
    @michellek649 Рік тому +2

    This was helpful. Thank you so much. It's so sad that people have to deal with people like this. :(

  • @robin2319
    @robin2319 Рік тому +4

    He would say why bring up the past wen im looking for answers and never got closure

  • @fingerlakespreppergrl
    @fingerlakespreppergrl Рік тому +6

    Just last night in fact😔

  • @lindabeeler6681
    @lindabeeler6681 Рік тому +2

    OUTSTANDING. Thank you Ben Taylor so much.
    He was a platonic friend but for some reason I became his target. This video is precisely what he does. After a month I received a text stating he knew he’d been distant, and to “know that I think good thoughts of you. You are special.” While I knew something was up, this video helps me realize the ploy. My response was a day later after thinking about it. I calmly listed the cruel things he did, again, and that I do not believe his words of friendship bc they are 180 degrees from his actions. Now I understand that an apology is never coming. But at least he’s aware that I see through his mask. Checkmate bucko. If he needs a reverse dumping, he’s got it. You win. Okay. It’s yours. Now go away. I’m done. Thank you again Ben Taylor.

    • @NerdsWorldNYC
      @NerdsWorldNYC Рік тому +2

      I had one of those too...
      FB group we were moderators.
      Cut them off in October of 2018 after they kept texting,texting.
      I was at a "convention that week" told them,no contact until afterwards because I would be TIRED ( and narc mom died the month before).
      They was relentless with texting late with their sad,sob story about their life.
      Like what??
      That Sunday morning I had enough,FB messaged them I was exhausted from the week and NEEDED a few days to relax and would contact them later in the week.
      Why they go into narcissistic rage on FB...writing how an individual (so-called friend-me) doesn't have a moment to listen to them during their issues and needing a listening ear.
      Wait...WTF?
      I started the blocking,than deleting them on FB and phone numbers,text messages from cellphone.
      I've been off FB for two years,I check every once in a while to clear messages because these idiots (tagging) don't realize you're gone.
      Three weeks ago they sent me a "Friend Request".
      They are crazy😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂.

  • @gulliver7419
    @gulliver7419 2 дні тому

    I suspect my sister is an undiagnosed narcissist, you never want to get into an argument with them because you will lose big time. They will dominate, bombard, bully you, twist your words and you will leave feeling flattened and abused.

  • @maryambrose8466
    @maryambrose8466 Рік тому +2

    Yes it happened.. happens

  • @IAMTheeMiss717
    @IAMTheeMiss717 Рік тому +3

    Yep

  • @Gothicforever1790
    @Gothicforever1790 2 місяці тому +1

    Thank you. This is enlightening

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  2 місяці тому

      We're here to support your healing journey. Come join us in this free masterclass to learn about the secret methods on breaking free from the toxic, break the bond and empower yourself once more. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.

  • @emmarae4322
    @emmarae4322 5 місяців тому

    When he started the abuse again I was like the gloves are off...I'm bringing the past up again.

  • @KerriRivera-is8gj
    @KerriRivera-is8gj 2 місяці тому

    You are amazing...really great information. 100%

  • @cathy_clarinet
    @cathy_clarinet Рік тому +3

    Yes, what I’ve seen as well

  • @MeCynthiaAnn
    @MeCynthiaAnn 7 місяців тому +1

    SOOOOOOOOOO TRUE!!!!!!!!!

  • @wave8867
    @wave8867 Рік тому

    Good video, my Mom would do this to me all the time. When I was a child and an adult too. Awful psychological abuse for sure.

  • @emmarae4322
    @emmarae4322 5 місяців тому +3

    "Stop bringing up the past." You mean the past you never gave me clarity on?
    If you are innocent why do you want to not talk about it?

    • @tracieelrod7018
      @tracieelrod7018 4 дні тому

      Mine would say ..” you can’t get clarity on everything “ I was if you tell the truth I could!

  • @stingyringpiece
    @stingyringpiece 2 місяці тому +1

    Ben,
    I could really do with an answer to this as I struggle with it
    What happens when a person doesn't act like nothings happened, just discards and doesn't give a shit??
    Clearly that's gas lighting too??
    Id end up thinking it was me and go grovelling
    thanks

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  2 місяці тому

      That's a great question! You can discover the answer by joining our free masterclass at www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.

  • @susankaranja7984
    @susankaranja7984 11 годин тому

    My birthday is coming up and he told me I should let that day be a good day, he's working on doing something special for me but two das ago he was justifying keeping a certain relationship a secret and made me feel guilty for bringing it up. What should I do?

  • @SherryWallen-os8wj
    @SherryWallen-os8wj 3 місяці тому

    I’m trying to figure out were you a narc and learned from these behaviors? That’s great!

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  3 місяці тому

      yes, We're here to support your healing journey. Come join us in this free masterclass to learn about the secret methods on breaking free from the toxic, break the bond and empower yourself once more. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.

  • @janm9610
    @janm9610 Рік тому +4

    My now ex narc husband sexually texted my daughter in-law. Was my fault 🤯 can i say divorce

  • @emmamonroe3311
    @emmamonroe3311 9 місяців тому

    I do not think narcopaths do this. Mine didn’t but we also never lived together. I wonder if that happened to his daughters mother. She never called me to tell me who he was. She definitely in my opinion figured him out after the accident. They would FaceTime so he could speak to his daughter. I would have never dated him if he couldn’t speak to his daughter. After the accident I was beyond confused 😵‍💫😵‍💫🤯🤯👈🏻

  • @SERLake
    @SERLake Місяць тому +1

    Makes me sad that the mask is more important than genuine relationships with those who actually care about them and wish them well.

  • @nicholecornes1915
    @nicholecornes1915 8 місяців тому

    Hahaha

  • @CindyBennett13
    @CindyBennett13 Рік тому +1

    Confused ….bingo