OCPD and our Insatiable need to Control Everything
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- Опубліковано 13 кві 2021
- We love to control everything, everywhere, forever and ever. Let's talk about that today.
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Eden holds a bachelor's degree in Psychological Science and Social Science.
Meaning, the things that she’s qualified to talk about psychology, self improvement and mental health, but not to give individual advice.
She is not a licensed therapist, lawyer, health care professional or counselor and as such, does not provide psychological counseling, therapy or legal counsel.
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finally! a channel that talks about OCPD in a constructive and interesting way. 99% of the videos are of people reading the list of symptoms of the DSM.
Great video! 😆
This probably the beat video i have seen so far talking about ocpd! I felt extremely connected with what you say on the video (as i clearly have ocpd).
thank you for bringing this content out and exposing this topic so genuinely!
You know these videos actually help me much more than therapy did. Granted, I got unlucky with my therapist and don’t have a lot of options. Also reading books on these topics has helped me tremendously.
I just found your channel and I have to say, THANK YOU.
OCPD is still a new thing for me (for 2/3 of my life, I just thought it was all from my ADHD which I was diagnosed with since childhood). Lots to research still and there surprisingly aren’t that many channels dedicated to OCPD.
I watched one of your other videos which talked about obsessive research. Everyone in Law School used to ask me why I was doing SO much research. I needed to know everything when revising for exams. I used to say it was just because I was a “why” person. It did always feel like a controlling need to know everything; so, if I made a legal argument, I needed to know it was the best possible argument I could possibly put forward. Somehow, knowing everything was the ultimate safety / power move. Not knowing something (even if it was entirely foreseeable as to why I didn’t know it) used to make me feel like the ultimate failure; loss of control from fear, as you so eloquently stated here.
Oddly, this thirst for knowledge helped me thrive in Law School, but in my last year, I became extremely burnt out. However, after many CBT and psychodynamic therapy sessions, I can see clearly now how much I sacrificed when it came to personal relationships and self-care for “perfection”. Back then, it just felt like I was prioritising the right things with the time that I had, but it was actually a fear of giving myself time off.
Thank your for creating this channel. Every video seems to hit me in the feels; I feel understood. Thank you ❤️
Wow, you have such an insightful viewpoint! I came across your videos today and binge watched about 8 of them. I have no idea why your youtube views aren't higher, but your technical production is really good, and actual ideas are top-notch! For me, I feel really validated by what you are saying. The breakdown of the emotional sequences that go on when we are trying to control things, or recover from losing control, are things I needed to hear at a much younger age. I only heard about OCPD recently, after a mental health professional mentioned it to me, and your channel has really given me a much-needed dose of perspective. Thank you!
This is such a lovely comment, thank you so much!! I completely understand how you feel too, there are so many messages I wish I could send back in time to my younger self too. I hope to be releasing more content in the future, just had some real-world things to attend to first. If there's any topic on OCPD you'd like me to explore please feel free to drop it in a comment and I'll happily add it to my list. Thanks again for being so supportive, you're awesome!
I cried through this whole video. I relate to every word. I just recently learned about ocpd, but after a bit of research, my entire life and every decision starts to make sense. Lately I've been shutting down more frequently when i fear losing control over a situation or other people's reactions and perspectives. I was needing to hear this today. Thank you 🖤
Sharing my life with OCPD for ten years. I really liked : it's okay to feel this feellings, it's how you respond and what behaviors you perform that are the difference between good and bad actions.
I really enjoy your videos it's very insightful. One question I have that maybe you could do a video on the struggle that I feel when it comes to changing my behaviors because it almost feels like a choice between what makes me happy and what makes other people happy
There is very little content out there on OCPD, so I appreciate you taking the time to share your insight/knowledge/wisdom with us. I tend to feel like people wouldn't understand me even if I explained it well or if I had an official diagnosis. I agree about needing to let out the anger and frustration - I often feel like I'm losing my grip on reality because I'll scream while in my car or have to spend time with my punching bag. Would love to have an email exchange at some point!
I really love to thank you for your great efforts. This video is so amazing. Your analysis is really fantastic 👌. It's deep, professional, informative, guiding, highly supporting and helpful. In fact, loss of control is the biggest obstacle
in OCPD. People with OCPD always need perfectionism. So, when they suffer loss of control in a situation, they can't go forward in the situation, feel frustrated and tend to withdraw from the situation. Their tendency to withdraw stems from their unconscious and anxious feeling that the situation has been corrupted and taken away from their certain way and their perfectionist expectations. Thanks alot for focusing on the issue of loss of control . 🙏 Of course, patiently exercising acceptance of loss of control is a must to go forward in a situation.
Thanks again for this perspective, it sheds light on such an important issue and perspective and helps alleviate the issue.
I was in a relationship with someone who has likely undiagnosed OCPD and when you talked about how changing plans means completely throwing away something felt very personal. Because it was me who got thrown away right when I couldn't allow myself move in with her at that exact time and circumstances that she had set.
Before that she had been convinced that our relationship was awesome and very, very good (even though it had had its flaws from the very beginning, but I had let her be in control of it), after that she was convinced it was awful and had to be cancelled.
Thanks for such great videos :) Also, insatiable is my favourite word! Cheers
You are really helping me, greetings from México!
I LOVE the advices in this video!! I will watch it over and over again!❤️
Excellent, informative video Eden! Thank you for this!
Your videos have been immensely helpful. Thank you.
You are more than welcome. Thank you so much for your support!
I get really upset having to coach myself through all my emotions. Don't get me wrong, I love your videos and thanks for your profound advice. But I feel like my emotions play their own game and ruin my life whenever they seem fit. I like to feel sad, work through stuff, I don't like to be angry but it happens and I coach myself through it. But why the hell is all of this so separate and random? It feels like I have a brain to work through things and a separate brain that does random emotions.
PS.: I have had severe OCD and worked my way 90% through it (sympthom relief), but I have OCPD left over. I know this is not a diagnosis chat, just a ping from my side.
Oh I can definitely relate. Sometimes it feels so surreal when something triggers a negative reaction and I have this inner voice telling me to stop and act in a more rational way, but I just can't. I wish I could offer an easy explanation as to what's going on, but at this point in my life I don't have one, just my own random theories.
I really appreciate the insight in your comment. It has made me think a lot! I hope that others will read your comments in the future and find some common ground with them. Thank you for your honesty and your support 🥰
One thing that helps me a lot, especially on high anxiety days, is doing some kind of exercise....I hate it, but it helps me a lot, especially when I don't have much control over my anger....spending energy on something that takes my focus off the problem (off my mind) helps me breathe better.
I love this! And I know that feeling all too well too. I start off with "I know it's good for me but I don't want to do it!" But then I do and I always feel better afterwards. Thanks for your comment :)
*rolls in to watch with nuggies* I'm ready!
Share some I’m hungry lol
I really appreciate your efforts paid for these great videos. They are very importance for someone who are looking for the answers of how to help a family member with this problem. The strategies had been highly expected by me. I am wondering whether some of the strategies mentioned in video are related to ACT? I will appreciate if you might kindly reply.
Hi Jeffrey, thanks for your comment! I assume when you mention ACT that you mean Acceptance and commitment therapy. Whilst these strategies were based more on my own personalised experience with the concept of control and loss of it, I can see that there is a possible link between my video and ACT. You've actually given me a new learning rabbit hole to jump down, thank you very much! :)
@@EdenV Hi Eden, firstly, thanks for your kindly reply. Secondly, you are right. ACT mentioned in my question means Acceptance & commitment therapy. Your works are great, which definitely can benefit worldwide people.
I am just starting to learn about me. Your videos are a great source of information
I really appreciate your comment, thank you! OCPD can be quite a daunting rabbit hole to dive into so you're doing a great job researching and learning more about it. Keep up the great work!
hello. do ocpd and asperger have something in common in terms of behaviour? cheers
I know that my ex-fiancé of 10yrs meant good but she was a selfish, emotionally ABSENT bc of preoccupation with logic that took precedence, chronic hyper sense of anxiety, hyper critical towards any emotional actions (that logically she felt weren’t warranted) I do for others, controlling, frugal, lgaslighting, month by month conceptualized schedules and any deviation out of her conceptualized routine/schedule within the month would consequently turn her into an entirely emotionally dysfunctional ROBOT.
Essentially, I was in a relate ship with myself, however, 90% of my income would be contributed to her bc she refused to spend a penny on anything…EVER!
Ps..The first 6 months was amazing but that was bc of the “romance stage”. She repressed all of maladaptations throughout those 6 months. Once we bought a home together-all hell broke lose.
I’ll mention one thing out of maaany preposterous irrational behaviors that she displayed.
She worked from 9-5pm. I would sometimes work from 10-3pm.(just for context-I paid 100% of the bills)Just the thought of my coming home before her would ramp her anxiety levels through the roof! The idea that she had to “re-conceptualize that day drove her up the wall. She would imagine that I would come home and make an entire mess of the house. She could not deal with that thought alone. I would literally chill in my car for 2hrs to come home so that it would ease her anxiety. WTF?!?
I had to finally employ logic into the situation. I was running off emotions my entire time with her. I felt love, compassion and empathic towards her but after 10 years of this kind of abuse, it made absolutely ZERO sense to invest in this relationship. I had to make a LOGICAL decision to leave. She says for once she is running off her emotions bc she can’t live without me but I don’t believe that for a minute. She’s simply crying to get a hold of the schedule she was used to.
Does an OCPD person feel that other people around them don't deserve any control?
They believe Only they know what's the right thing to do, so obviously anyone doing something else is a fckin idiot for them
apparently so, as they hold all the correct answers ever.
I get the impression that you have been in therapy. Yeah?