Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder
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- Опубліковано 13 тра 2024
- These are the 8 traits of obsessive compulsive personality disorder, also commonly referred to as OCD. according to clinical psychologist and MedCircle expert Dr Ramani Durvasula.
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00:00 Intro
02:00 The 4 areas of life affected by OCPD
07:50 1. Preoccupation with details & order
08:44 2. Perfectionism interfering with task completion
09:23 3. Neglects other areas of life for work
10:36 4. Overly conscientious about minor rules
12:01 5. Unable to discard worn out or worthless objects
13:50 6. Intense reluctance to delegate tasks
14:54 7. Miserliness (excessive desire to save money)
18:35 8. Rigidity & stubbornness
19:20 Which one is most prevalent?
19:46 Watch more at watch.medcircle.com
#obsessivecompulsivedisorder #obsessivecompulsive #ocd
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It is alt to afford. Treatment itself can be very costly @MedCircle
Can you do an episode on how OPCD possibly affect parent and attachment styles between a parent w/ OPCD & their relationship with their child(ren).
@@bella1975 9
Yes that would be interesting I’m sure my Mum had this too.
My biggest problem is perfectionism. It often gets in the way of me actually being productive because I’m so driven toward the task being perfect.
Same. Sometimes I completely dissociate from life because the distraught feeling after not being to complete something to my expectations is so upsetting and uncomfortable.
Please keep tell yourself that perfect is just another word. What to expect as PERFECT differs between people mindsets. Take it easy on yourself and do not overload.
right with you, and my irrational response to being told perfection doesnt exist is for my drive to do things disappearing and onto the depression train
I haven't been diagnosed, but I share a lot of the traits (minus money hoarding. I spend on myself no problem). Even lost friends, and have issues with coworkers for not being understood. I don't even understand myself anymore, I'm learning too much.
Perfection should NEVER be the Goal. Fix your mindset!
I could listen to Dr. Ramani talk about baking soda for five hours. She's amazing.
Right lol
Well that was random
😂😂😂
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BAHAHAHAHA😂😂😂
I COULD ALSO🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
This is my mom. 100%. The amount of emotional neglect was insane. Never did anything as a child because it all costed too much money, first time I went to the movies I was 18. The fact that my dad wasn’t in the picture, and we didn’t really have a close knitted family meant I was completely stuck in that 24/7. Developed my own personality issues thanks to all of this, among other issues. My mom still refuses to seek help, and I’m close to losing my patience completely and never talk to her again.
4444⅘trttttt
Do you still live with her?
I don't blame you. The most toxic and traumatic relationship I have ever had is with an OCPD manager at my job. There is absolutely ZERO room for others to do or say anything at work anymore. It's all about him, not his team, not the clients, not colleagues. He'll kiss up to the C-suite, but that's it. Any meeting with him is a 30 to 90 minute monologue of whatever is going on inside his head, and if you try to ask a question he will jump on the end of your first thought and go into more monologue. If you REALLY try to make yourself heard by him he will fly into a rage... just because you want to communicate.
This is my dad. Same here, never got to travel or have any real vacations. The few trips we had I was barely allowed to breathe without verbal abuse. I'm always on the fence about how to deal with my father as an adult. He is very judgmental and critical of pretty much everything, also extremely negativistic.
I think I had a childhood friend with a OCPD mother as well. I felt very uncomfortable and not necessarily very welcome at their house. It's almost as if such people forget to see the value in working on meaningful relationships because they are too tightly wound - and they almost certainly won't recognize easily that their way of relating to the world is a problem for them.
My ex-girlfriend is soo this. Hard worker in a job she hated, shouted at people in the subway for disrespecting rules, was extremely harsh on herself and others, always postponed and cut short meetings to prepare for work, was very stubborn and authoritarian in really uncomfortable ways. She also followed rigid schedules and expected me to do so too, rejected advice even when she desperately needed it and worked even when sick. She also made me feel through her controlling behavior like I lost my own self in the relationship while often feeling like I wasn‘t a priority in her life at all. I had to follow her rules to the degree that I got scared to cross her and felt very pressured.
In the end I felt like I was completely submitting to her will and when I finally had to set boundaries on her controlling behavior, she broke up with me and chastised and chided me for not living up to her standards and „behaving like a child“ after she had told me to do/stop xyz.
I needed months to recover from the intense pressure and hurt that I had felt and my self-esteem still needs improvement.
P.S.: I know that she suffers from this too, so I‘m not trying to portray her like a monster. I‘m just telling my experience, after all she was undiagnosed
it sounds as if your personality may have dependent components, which would likely match with an obsessive-compulsive/controlling type as long as affection is not withheld altogether. if you lost yourself to that degree, you might want to look into that, because it could happen again in a different match, if the other person is dominant, too.
I'm so glad you are out of it. Hope you feel better now. I'm in a similar situation and still trying to get it to work. Step 1 is to make him go to a therapy....I know exactly what you mean by feeling like submitting to the other person completely. Too scared to say the wrong thing, slowly I found myself always say what he wants to hear and not what I really think. All sentences are carefully formulated. Also feeling so small that he judges me at so many things I do that must people find quite normal. I have to really try hard to balance pleasing him and maintain my self esteem
You sound very mentally in tune with all you experienced. She is not a horrible person, you are right, but with her condition, she is waaay too difficult to partner with. It's unfortunate, but until she figures out she has a problem, and seeks help with it, you are much better to move on to someone else. Relationships need balance to be healthy and beneficial. Good luck, be strong and move on. ❤
When was she finally diagnosed? Did she inform you or did you hear from somebody else?
@@PeachPlasticif she's never been diagnosed it could be a number of different things as these symptoms mimic other symptoms, such as those who suffer from complex ptsd, those who are on the autism spectrum, those who have cluster b personality traits or disorders.
If you think you have ocpd or you know someone with it ,read the book - Impossible to please. It breaks down OCPD even more. Its very helpful.. 💜
Thank you 🤍
or talk to your doctor
Also, Never Good Enough, Carol Cannon.
I guess I have homework . Thank you
Who is the author of the book
my father has OCPD. it actually gave me a traumatic childhood. I wanted to add, I felt seen during the college part. He made way too much money for me to be eligible for student loans, however he didnt believe in paying for my college despite my great grades. He said he needed to save for his retirement. I had to wait until I was 27 to be eligible for student loans.
was yours diagnosed? Sorry to hear that, i suspect mine has this kind of disorder plus he keeps junks. When we clear the junks he has the gall to pick fights and being extremely rude. Not easy/ fair for me, ppl have suggest i plan to move out. but thats easier said then done. Besides i Won't allow him to take over my space! i curse him
TBH, anything Dr.Ramani says is gold in my book. She’s so knowledgeable and has a way of simplifying the complex. And I love how Kyle asks just the right questions as might a nonprofessional. It’s perfect that he’s not a MH practitioner. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Agreed on all terms!
Totally Agree !!
Good for 4 u, but she ain't all that, do the research
A
They are the REAL workaholics of this world, as if it's the only way through life with chores. Chores & work, the only coping mechanism they have (being busy all the time to shut up the voices in their head telling them they'll never be/do enough)
The problem is they do the same with everyone around the m
In the end I think this personality disorder are bullshit. Is like generalize craziness, you can make 100 disorders , the problem is another. I just say , but how many people are in between? Anyway, crazy people have the right to live so make sense to treat them when they damage other
@@robertobonani4631 okay man
People who say that family members of those with OCPD should be more understanding towards them and their condition don’t get it. They clearly never had to live with someone who has it for an extended period of time in their life and experience what it’s like being on the receiving end.
We have ALWAYS been understanding and, we have ALWAYS given in to them, but we are only human and it gets so damn frustrating when the person with OCPD always thinks they’re right, it’s their way or the highway, and you’re being a waste of their time and resources if you don’t do things the way they want it. This is and will always be my Dad. So quit your virtue signalling when you’ve never had to experience what it’s like to deal with someone with OCPD
THIS!! people outside my family circle will say, you need to support your mom, have some grace, she works so hard, and it's like i've given her EVERY excuse in the book and gaslit myself as to why i'm never good enough or need to live up to her standards but they're impossible for even her to sustain!!
I've dealt with a coworker with it for 14 years. I don't know how to deal with someone the complete opposite of me. On top of that even though I'm trying or doing xyz it's not enough. I almost feel like I have to say the positive affirmations out loud.
I had to dump my girl friend because of those traits. It’s weird she hid majority of those traits in the beginning.
Well said!!!
Thank you for highlighting that this is something DIFFERENT than OCD. Your videos are gold!
Seriously.... This woman is one of my heroes. I am so grateful that I found out about her, and thank you for posting this interview.
I related to this personality disorder a lot my whole life up until a couple of years ago when I sort of realized how my actions were affecting other people.
I had a crazy strong sense of morality with following rules. I didn’t understand why I was being spoken down to by adults and told I was “tattling” when I was reporting that someone was breaking a rule. I felt like rules were made to protect us and to ensure that everyone was equal. My rigidity towards driving rules was insane especially when it came to speed limits. I also held on to the original way I was taught things or if I had read an instruction in a book. I told people that they were wrong when they were crocheting or knitting because it wasn’t the way I read how to do it. I got upset if people didn’t follow the rules to a game perfectly. I’m still fighting some of those urges like if someone cooks a recipe in a different way than instructed or doesn’t do something the way had suggested.
I'm so glad you have the ability to recognize this, that's incredible progress. My mother and my older brother have OCPD. I do not, I basically felt that my natural way of being was "wrong" and therefore "bad". It led to two decades of self harm behavior and an intense hatred of rules and regulations that I had to overcome as I learned to have less anger towards how I was raised.
My brother has sought treatment and has made AMAZING progress, I am so, so proud of him. He has a beautiful decade long marriage, and has persevered through many hardships. He has learned to prioritize empathy and cooperation, and thinking of new ways to do things.
My mother, however, has never sought treatment for her OCD. She now has early onset Parkinsons which brings anger and mood issues. It's interesting what they said in the video about starting a business because that's exactly what she did. She has retired, and my father passed away, so her identity of a workaholic (and then my father's caretaker) is gone and she is in a horrible depression. I wish I could help her but she when I try to suggest she needs help I am told I am disrespectful. She has hoarded her house, but is obsessed with organizing the hoard of clothes, shoes, bags, and jewelry. Everything is laden with memory and meaning and throwing things out without profiting from them is wasteful and disrespectful.
Yikes! Sounds like at this point, she's not going to change. Likely the only you can do is change how you feel about her & deal with her. Glad ur brother is working on his problem with it. You must feel thankful you don't have this condition? Guard against it diligently. Good luck in life.
Finally someone talks about this! Its so unspoken, it feels so lonely
I always thought my obsession with optimization and systems was ADHD, but I am glad to learn more about myself. Thankfully I don't have the trait of telling people they are wrong.
Oh, my goodness! My mother to a T!! The house, and it's looking like some hospital-hygenic-level spotless display home 24/7 (and I really mean 24/7), to the point of ridiculous uncomfortableness for both us and the visitors who were too scared to sit on the couch, was so much more important than everyone who lived in the house! I spent so many weekends as a teen at everyone else's house because they didn't want to come to mine even though it was an upmarket house compared to theirs, which was fine with me - I loved the relaxed atmosphere and the obvious love at other peoples houses. Not being allowed to even leave a book on the bedside table in my own room throughout my childhood because books belong on a bookshelf unless you're reading them at the minute (I was a bookworm). Even the cans in the pantry were lined up and spaced perfectly apart with all the labels facing the front. And the total rigidity of that whole point of view (anyone who didn't agree with this level of housekeeping was personally dirty and disgusting and horribly judged as a human being on this basis alone). She totally refused to care about anyone's feelings about it, and went bawling into the bedroom if anyone challenged her on it (which was rare because it wasn't worth the trouble and childish tantrum and uncomfortableness she caused), but never noticed that she was very alone in this opinion and never changed it. I quit school very young and moved away from home because of this! I grew up in that environment and I've never felt comfortable visiting ever since - decades afterwards.
My father lent me money to buy a car (his own money against my mother's wishes) when I moved away from home, but my mother set the rules. It was the 1980s and I was earning a young teen's wage. I was earning $130 a week, my rent was $50 a week and she made me pay my car off at $50 a week. I had $30 a week to buy food, pay bills and buy petrol for my car to get to work. I didn't even have enough money to buy a chocolate bar - I ate very frugally. I had to pay the bills and buy petrol to get to work - some weeks, when bills came in (which were shared with flatmates, so I had minimal control over them) I actually either didn't eat or ate nothing buy potatoes (which were cheap). My mother didn't care - my car payment must be made. I paid it back and never borrowed money from them again for any reason.
This has to be severe OCPD. Problem is that according to her, everyone else was wrong. She's softened somewhat over the years with age now, but I'm not exaggerating.
I have ocpd and anxiety disorder and thankfully with the help of my therapist, I am doing good enough
I'm looking forward to the DSM changes or improvements. Mental health is a good work in progress. I'm seeing the solutions created. I chose to be in life and stay a artist not have patterns of chasing the office money. I learned by 25,30, I wasn't cut out for corporate work because of my mental health care. My SSRI changed my OCD, perfection/food issues🗃️✍️⚖️🗂️🗃️overly responsible, seeking too much information, procrastinating. Dr Ramani s videos this week at her channel and podcast are must hears. So relatable to rigidity.
For example keeping attachments, keeping items, items can be let go of. Ineffective house items and older clothing was something I got help on. Let 20-30, 30-40 go. It was so freeing to donate items, clothes. I still felt bad for throwing away or donating sentimental items but...but....those items today are now trauma bonds. And keeping it all means I visualizing my hands letting go of those items.
Thank you Medcircle. 🎨🧠💛🌎💛🌍💛🌏💛
(What about global functional assessment tool score, is that applied in medicine?)
I worked for a nurse practitioner who has Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. She told me her DX before I was hired but I guess I didn't realize just how hard it would be. I had to draw the line when she would yell at me in front of others. She got so comfortable with me that I became her whipping post. Just like a typical abuser she'd apologize and bring me gifts when she went on vacation, only to do it all over again. The straw was went she kept hounding me to get patients in faster because she had made a hair appointment that she just couldn't miss. The practice manager had told her to stop making appointments that might run into her ability to see a late patient. Then in a rage the NP cornered me in an exam room getting all up in my face and space. Calmly I told her her to back up and left the room. I was assigned to another provider the next day. I still can't believe I took that abuse for 4 years.
Dr Ramani is just amazing! Thank you so much for your hard work!
I had a friend like this but it wasn't work that was her god, it was astanga yoga. She would get up at 5am to do one and a half hours of the most gruelling sequences EVERY SINGLE DAY. Her husband eventually struck a deal with her to take Saturday mornings off. They had a cleaner and she decided to fire the cleaner and clean herself; and with no shame she told her husband that she was therefore pocketing the money that the cleaner had earned before. So she was literally paying herself to clean her own house. She worked 5 minutes from where she lived but her husband worked in another city. When his car broke down she didn't lend him hers - he had to get a train and she was indignant that he would even think to borrow her car. And on one occasion he used her car to pick up his son and she wanted the petrol money he used back. Her own husband. I couldn't bear the control and miserly-ness and our friendship came to a screeching halt after going on holiday together (you can only imagine how well that went - she gave everyone a speech about how they were less-than for not being vegan). Im not sure if she was in denial or whether she seriously lacked such insight into her behaviour. Her husband truly deserves all the medals in the world.
Wow. They literally just narrated my life. I've always felt most comfortable at work than home. I have lists and lists I've made and never even utilized. I absolutely hate letting someone else do something or try to help me because I feel like it's not going to be the right way I believe it should be done, I could not do group work at school. I have no problem cutting people off if I feel like their life style is going to interfere with my goals, I actually don't even have friends. I have so much stuff I will not throw away because I feel like I have an idea of how I can fix it or repurpose it or some craft I would like to do, but never got around to doing it. My husband is actually building a shed for me to put all my stuff, because I'm so overwhelmed with wanting the house to be organized but don't want to get rid of the stuff I might want to use later. Do not interfere with my schedule or routine, because my whole day feels ruined. I am so convicted to my way of doing things that if it's not my way I don't want anything to do with it. Which is another reason I've kind of let my house go, because nobody does anything I feel it should be done. There's a lot of times I fantasize about living by myself so everything will be exactly the way I want it and nobody will mess it up. The only thing is I'm not frugal with money to the extent they described. I like making Christmas, birthdays, etc. as special as I can provide, but that only applies to my immediate family. I will justify in my head why I shouldn't spend time and money on others. Now I'm very stubborn about not working certain days or shifts because of my kids, but most of that time that I'm home with the kids I'm trying to clean, organize, or study vs. actually spending time with them. I could go on and on about my habits that make me feel cut off from people even my family that I love deeply but can't seem to connect with
I relate with you in almost all you have described above. The lessons from Dr Ramani help me to understand myself and is also therapeutic. I am very grateful to Dr Ramani.
Thank you for being so open and honest. I hope you find it in you to find the reasons that are are driving you to act this way and accept them ❤
Wow. You are STUCK on a vicious rotating wheel like a mouse. Slow down. Get off & breathe. When do you relax with your husband?
❤️
Know what? I really appreciate that you said you love your family deeply just can’t seem to connect with them because I saw a lot of what’s described here in my mother while she was alive.
This woman is absolutely brilliant
My worst characteristic is my need of "being in control". Like I need to control what I wear, what I eat, who I talk to, where I go to, my grades, my weight, my appereance...And then it comes the perfectionism. In my mind everything I do has to be perfect, it has to be in a limit, it has to be balanced, it has to be in control. So I just keep switching the areas in my life I take control on. When I was a kid, it was the school, then in my pre-adolescent years it was my weight and my beauty (which led me to anorexia and bulimia), then it was grades AND beauty (which led me to depression and self-harm). Now I focus more on school, but still control the others at a "healthy" limit. I still feel bad if I eat too much, if I dont do anything productive like reading, writing, studying and stuff, but its less yk.
I find your personality disorder videos so useful!
Thank you for helping us understand who we are and why❤
Thanks again Kyle and Dr. R. So helpful.
Dr Ramani is amazing!
Hi Kyle and Dr. Ramani great topic 👍 Looking forward to the next OCPD video and hoarding too.
Thanks for watching! We have full series on both OCPD and hoarding disorder at watch.medcircle.com
My goodness this is so spot on... I've had my diagnosis for almost three years now, but seeing it in this way makes so much sense. Granted there are certain things I don't relate to (because it's all a spectrum and because I've done a ton of work) but this is all so eye opening.
Wonderful! Please share what’s helped .. you had insight OCDP enough to seek help ?
@@Sunnyfield323 mostly therapy. And a lot of research into strategies. Lots of trial and error to see what works and what doesn't
This video really should be for people to know if somebody ELSE has it, cause let me tell you, if you have it you know you have it. It isn't like schizophrenia or illnesses where the affected cannot tell they have it easily, you will almost always know without a shadow of a doubt you have it.
This describes my husband 💯. I thought it was just ADHD, with an inability to relax, but it's more than that. He's a workaholic, cannot sit still (unless he's drinking alcohol). And he is very miserly with "our" money except if it's something he wants to buy. He is obsessive with any project he does at home. He is arrogant, super impatient, easy to anger, and emotionally unavailable.
He accumulates junk that he won't throw away so he has to build more outbuildings to store it all. He treats me like crap (verbally abusive) bc I can no longer work a job due to disability. I want a divorce but he refuses bc I would get 1/2 "his" money.
He calls me lazy bc I'm physically disabled even though I had to work 2-3 part time jobs to make ends meet while raising our children. He worked one full time job, but had his "projects" to do at home, which took all his time & attention. I appreciated all the remodeling and stuff he has done over the years, but says I'm ungrateful for all the money he has saved us. I would have rather he hired out the work if it meant more peace at home.
I cannot explain how hard it's been to live like this for so long and the walking on eggshells our entire marriage so as to not anger him. I know if I left him it would be the fight of a lifetime as he thinks I don't deserve to be given half of "his" pension to the point I've felt excessively guilty for things I had no control over, like my health issues. Now he's a workaholic alcoholic. (Self medicating?)
Let me tell you if you're with someone like this it's a very lonely marriage and it will be eventually damage your self image.
He is unapologetic and has no empathy for anyone he feels is beneath him, which is everyone he works with and knows, even some family members.
Side note-I think my Dad also had OCPD, passed down from his Father, who was overly strict in an OC way. I think OCPD has a strong hereditary component & of course the learned behavior from that parent. My MIL is just like my spouse too, but in a less abusive way.
Last time I checked, you don't need anyone's permission to file for divorce. I left without a thing. And let me tell you, that first little studio apartment I got... I thought it was heaven. Peace, quiet, and freedom is the goal. You can do it. Sending you strength, courage, and hugs, from Tulsa, Oklahoma.🪖💪🫂☮️
I wasted too many years with an a-hole who was too pussified to leave permanently. Instead he made it so bad that I eventually had to....but only after losing two years of irretrievable time. Sometimes, the one option remaining is to cut our losses and go. I got the ultimate wake-up call when an acquaintance bluntly ( but with kindness !) told me if I didn't get this guy out of my life, he'd drive me into a mental institution. I am forever grateful to this woman for pointing out my future if I didn't soon take definitive action. Her words really hit home and saved my sanity in the long run. I'm rooting for you !
Don't need a life story in comment section
I empathize with both your husband and yourself as an OCPD person. Marriage to me is hell, childrearing is a prison sentence and your husband should have been self aware about his condition and self excluded himself from marrying you to prevent himself from hurting you. So you have every right to leave to protect yourself.
@@char2304This video is literally about people’s life stories
Dr.Romini ,You Are Incredible !! thanks so much !!❤️
My ex husband of 20 years has this but ti feel this explanation is incorrect, it is not OCD … it is all about control. The sense of righteousness and godlike perspective that the way they do everything is ‘the right way’
Their family especially wife, children are an extension of such and have to comply with their rules. These rules can also change.
Their mission is to be perfect in everything but again perfect according to them and their unique code.
If their environment including everything their family says and does, does not comply with their rules there are dire consequences.
I felt that everything I did was wrong and was reminded on a daily basis how wrong I was.
He of course out this pressure on himself also . It sucked the joy out of every situation.
He once told me to sweep sand out of a tent.
His frustration would escalate into rage on a regular basis.
You could never speak to him about this because he would say if you just did everything right I wouldn’t need to get upset.
He truly believed he was superior to everyone else and therefore right.
I know this because he told me that was how he truly felt.
This is also why they are impossible to treat because they don’t think anything is wrong with them. It’s you …
UGH! I feel like we know the exact same OCPD person. Mine is my manager and it is exhaustingly joyless, reactive, chaotic, relentless, and unproductive. He can't even let anyone else talk or ask questions about anything and sees being asked questions or giving anyone autonomy as a punishable offense. Those of us that haven't found other jobs have all learned to be as quiet as possible as to not make him worse. Glad that guy is your EX! Sorry you went through it at all.
Pretty sure he fits definition of a narcissistic person instead of ocpd
Thank you Dr. Ramani
Thank you for this!!
Thanks for watching!
Definitely relate to some aspects of this. Specifically the money part and rigidity. Also the lack of empathy when I am trying to reach my “goal”. I call it “in GO mode” I need everyone to stay out of my way so I can accomplish my task. I did think that I could possibly have ocpd until you described all the points thoroughly. Turns out I’m just crazy.
Update: I’ve been going to therapy for the last 6 months and just got diagnosed with OCPD. I’m realizing more and more how the disorder plays into my day to day life, and how it affects the people around me. I feel like Dr Ramini describes some aspects of OCPD correctly but maybe doesn’t fully understand because she isn’t in the mind of someone with OCPD. Also it’s interesting how people with the disorder can behave very differently from each other depending on which symptoms they have.
I needed this therapy . Now i fully understand the mental disability of my family
& even my own control issues. But people are very lackadaisical these days & I feel I Can out work most. This a tough one
Excellent information! Thank you!
Thanks for supporting mental health education!
this is really interesting to learn and i absolutely hate the chairs theyre sitting on the material hurts but soooo interesting ill have to binge
i have ocpd so of course my first and strongest instinct is to say that this video is wrong and i could've made it better 😅 but i'm in treatment, i can let it go, for the most part...
i just wished there had been a teensy bit more empathy, a control freak like myself is really just a person with lots of tremendous fear they aren't managing in a healthy way, it's not a malicious impulse to make others suffer and the sacrifices made aren't easy, they seem necessary to our distorted perception.
I am appreciative that you are in therapy. No one is perfect.
Luckily, I only have 5 of 8 traits and I’m happy in my skin. UA-cam ruined my productivity, but improved my people skills. In reality, my note taking saved my life and helped me recover from a couple severe illnesses which doctors were limited in helping me.
Well, Dr. Ramani seems to be really boiling things down into casual, everyday language - sometimes to the point of losing some of the precise clarity of the diagnostic criteria and clinical presentations. I too would prefer a slightly more rigorous approach.
You can make OCPD work for you, with a bit of work on letting go a little bit and learning a bit of flexibility in relationships and at work. And you can learn to understand empathy and practice it, even if it not a natural instinct. ;)
I'm the opposite of OCPD - ADHD. I'm a total mess in so many ways.
I feel like me and my mother we are ocpd and adhd. We are failed OCPD. I couldn't enjoy holidays at uni because I had an essay to finish but when back home, I procastinated. We keep stuff in case it is useful later but it looks like diogene syndrom in some places and it is pristine elsewhere. I have crisis and I throw away everything, then we are back to hoarding. Money is iffy because we want to pay the mortage for a home that the bank won't less us keep if we ever fail. I have to clean eveything after I had guests because I feel it's not my home anymore if their nasty feet walked on my floor (which is totally obsessive, compulsive). I have to use my camping mode where I turn off my obsessive cleanliness in most environments. It'snot clean if I haven't cleaned it myself. I have a new therapist, it made me realise I should bring that up and learn to make the camping mode my default.
I felt the same. I’m not diagnosed but I felt a lot of the symptoms fitted me except I love my family and friends and I would donate to charity because it makes other people happy. I don’t do mean things because I’m a horrible person sometimes I’m just stressed out because I just have things I can and can’t do without flexibility
Thanks a lot for a new video with Dr. Ramani! She is incredible!!
Sad that OCD vs OCPD video is available only on the website under subscription. Because so far they look totally different except for desperate spatial organization with lists and shelves. But if people with OCPD do not have obsessive thought and compulsive actions (like constantly washing their hands) then why is it called obsessive-compulsive PD?
"This could be useful someday." I feel seen.
Wow. This describes me down to the bone. My wife swore I am narcissistic. I need to work on my empathy and get in touch with my kids
Good for you for having self awareness! Keep going!
Good on you … I think it’s other stuff that needs to be worked on perfectionism and rigidity to allow room for building connection
Fascinating video thank you
I am pretty sure that my ex-husband is OCPD and one thing that comes to my mind all the time is that 2nd criteria where perfectionism gets in the way when something needs to be done. By example, he would align & place his tools in a closet but he'd never use them... I was the one who installed A/C, curtains & everything because I'd wait, wait, wait again until I can't anymore & do it myself with my own tools because I'd use his & he'd know it has been displaced even though I placed it right like it was. He wasn't even feeling bad for not having done it even though he promised me for more than a month. My dad used to call me "the couple's man"...
I usually listen to psychology UA-cam videos. But i actually prefer watching you guys ❤️
I always try and get her stuff out when I can. Makes me feel like I’m doing my bit.
I have a diagnose of OCPD and honestly it is a freaking disturb hard to treat and to live with. It took me 3 major depressions and almost 4 years of psychotherapy to get a reasonable life with my kids and husband (and I do have ADHD). But…I’ve got there. Sometimes I’m a bit out of balance and the traits exacerbate, but mostly I have it under “control” and can have a decent life with my family and at work. In general I like very much the way dr. Ramani explain things, but this time her description of OCPD made me feel as a caricature. I had the feeling that was a lot of exaggeration when mentioning the traits, and I do have almost all of them when I’m out of balance. Even at my worst I never let rules go above feelings. Anyways, I just wanted to say that there is hope and people do get better from OCPD if they get proper help. It will never go away, but it is absolutely possible to learn how to live with it in a positive way.
@T.A. Barros you said "Even at my worst, I never let rules go above feelings" what do you mean by that?
@@xAllCatsAreBeautiful1312x I meant that despite being many times blind and not able to realize that quite often I was putting obligations above relationships, I’ve always put my love and feelings about anything else. Whatever bad things I did - specially concerning my children and husband, I did not because I thought it was “right”, but because I loved them and unfortunately wasn’t able to see that I was hurting them (tho thinking my love was the right and good thing to do). In this sense, OCPD stops being an ego syntonic disturb for me, because every time I realize I crossed the line with someone I love it hurts like hell and the guilty feelings eat me up from inside out. It’s just horrible that for many times I still realize it too late. But I’m learning and things are getting better. I have my kids and husband helping me to realize when I go to far and stop when I start hurting them. For me it has been a jump on the dark to trust in their judgement, instead of trusting my own standards. So far, has been more than worth.
@@AngelinainHolland Thank you for your explanation. That makes sense and it's clear that despite mistakes in the past, you have developed a high quality of self awareness. This displays honesty. The other quality is willingness - specifically your willingness to admit that other's perspective might be more clear than your own on certain things and the trust to listen and take their advice. I feel like those qualities are exceedingly rare despite all the talk.
@@xAllCatsAreBeautiful1312x thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate.
tysm for this, tough times still ahead but needed some hope and this was kinda scaring me to see my personality broken apart and as u said 'exaggerated' in a fairly negative light, i understand it's a problem but it's nice to see that it can be balanced with the right effort and mindset ❤️ seriously thank you
I laughed a lot in the exemples of 2,3,4,5 because I felt so indentified. Im slow at my job because my perfectionism. And 5 😂😂 I don’t know how people could break the rules, process and the structure of things!
I have done a lot of instrospeccion and have worked with therapist and over the time I have live more harmony life with myself and my surroundings but I’m still working on my ideas being the absolute true.
I’m working on myself of being visionary because have been exhausted wanting of doing it but not being able to expand my horizons.
This was interesting thank you.
As someone with OCD, I reluctantly admit that everything said in this video is spot on. The emptiness inside me has never gone away and I continue to sabotage myself. But that will go away if I do this, this and this, right?
This video isn’t about OCD. It’s about OCPD.
OCD and OCPD are not the same
This was an interesting topic of discussion.
Regarding #3, about working too much, I do that, but only because I really love my work, it doesn’t feel like work, it feels like play.
So I have ocpd, but the trait of being a “workaholic” is not me. Work is second priority to my family and my home always. However, I think my home and the cleaning/household tasks have definitely taken the place of the career workaholic trait for me.
This sounds like me, Ive been obsessed with my career since I was young. I have a very rigid plan for the future in my job, I spend hours at home on my computer doing personal tasks and doing extra freelance on top of my full time job to build a catalogue of experience. At times I’ve gotten upset because I felt social events with friends and family took me away from my career goals even though I wasn’t forced to go. I also have a hoard of things I keep in case I may need it and even if it’s ripped paper or just bad sketches that I know I’m never going to use but I always think I may need it. I am also very controlling with money when it comes to relationships, I’m not fond of joint bank accounts. I prefer each partner have their own money but obviously if one is earning more you help out where needed and never make the other party feel bad for not earning as much. (unless they’re Intentionally not pulling their weight) It’s a 2 way exchange as I see it and each party should put in equal effort to decorate or stock up the house without having to see each others wages. The only thing that isn’t me is the not wanting to spend money. Whilst I do have a savings pot for if something bad happens, if my mother is feeling down I will go out of my way to buy her things to make her happy. My family means a lot to me and I would spend as much as I could if it were possible. I also love to go out and spend money on myself for clothes and trips but I just plan my spending so I still have money to save although it gives me anxiety if I don’t have something as a safety blanket. I have a checklist on my phone for monthly spending and I check it often just to make sure I don’t go over.
I didn't expect this to resonate so much with me! I can see a lot of that in myself and my family, especially hoarding tendencies on my mother's side and miserliness, unwillingness to delegate tasks, and being overly rigid with plans and being on time on my dad's (we had to have at least a 30 min buffer even for weekend trips or on vacation and he'd get angry if we took too long, just to arrive way too early). I'm perfectionistic, rule-oriented, inefficient, and a bit of a (money) hoarder myself. I also need to do everything myself and am guilty of correcting others' contributions to meet my standards.
I don't think it would qualify for diagnosis for any of us, though. It's not that impairing and other psychological, socio-cultural, and economic factors explain a lot of the symptoms for us.
You may not feel it's impairing to you, but that behavior affects people you have relationships with - which ultimately affects you.
I think you May have it
OMG this is me full on‼️
Not sure if I have this, but it has been suggested to me. I've always had anxiety but I needed to work to live so I ended up pushing myself so far that the way I've survived is to become controlling and rigid. I don't throw things away because I'm overwhelmed with the memories in every tiny thing, but also because I've always been poor so I can't let go. I really enjoy the structure working gives me. I'll work to avoid people and things. I feel awful on holidays since I don't have structure. I would be the person you described not parking in the bank parking lot because it says that's not allowed. And I also have a thing where if I say I'll do something, I have to do it. Even if it was a fleeting comment, or the situation changes, I have to stand by my word. I'm not even sure why anymore, I just think it's a structure thing. I have a hard time making decisions so I have the perfectionism thing where I can't get anything done because I'm so paralyzed that it's not good enough. It takes me much more time than my peers to do work tasks because I'm not confident in what I'm doing so I need to meticulously check it that they won't find flaws, but nothing is perfect and I can't read minds so if expectations aren't clear I will basically be stuck in a perpetual hanging anxiety going back and forth changing minor things. I am terribly unorganized and not a list person by any means. I've recently really cleaned up my apartment because the clutter was driving me crazy and I wanted to be nice enough to not be ashamed to have guests over. But it feels like a hotel now.
This helps explains my whole family. Gets a little confusing as to which one.. I maybe it's a little bit of all of them🤷♀️ workaholism, Add, ADHD, narcissism.
Hi doctor Ramani could you please make a video talking about that therapy called "family constelations"? I would really like to know your opinion on it.
Thanks!
The way she speaks about people with OCPD and the way he perceives people with OCPD seems unempathetic.
She’s like that in a lot of her videos. I feel sorry for her clients
I think it's just generalized way of handling a topic, rather than in a clinical setting with an actual patient across from her. For me, I kind of prefer a fast learn on a topic without any fluff and fillers, but we're all different.
She’s extremely understanding. She’s being straight down the line it’s just facts . How else would she explain OCPD
It’s just a video to present factual information.
Thanks!
Thanks for your support! 💙
I have ocpd and the miserly part is not absolute. There are those of us that spend more than we make trying to acquire things that we think we need.
Fantastic. Really helps me understand my elderly, female roommate, especially the miserly part. Would that be the same thing as Greed?
I am ocpd and intentionally live near the poverty level in order to maintain my savings rate of 50% or greater of my pre tax income.
It doesn't come from greed, it comes from fear that it can all go away at any time and need to be prepared for the worst. I've been broke before and never want to go back there again.
I’m pretty sure I have this and I know it really bothers my family at times but I have a hard time wanting to change. I’m meticulous so my world is very organized (and clean!) My frugality is so perfected that my family is living abundantly even though our income is shockingly small. We were able to buy a nice house on acreage last year and our income is technically below middle class. It took years of pinching and saving to get here. We do splurge on restaurants and vacations but it’s a very rare treat. I know I need to lighten up on my family though and I am always trying to tone it down. I have such a hard time toning it down that I often just avoid my family because I know if I’m talking I’m going to be nagging that they didn’t close the shower curtain or hang their towel up right etc. tbh when I go into the bathroom and the shower curtain is wrong (again!) I actually feel enraged.
Love the dog ❤
I've been struggling with my diagnosis for months. After this video I feel even worse. The way my traits are discussed and judged as terrible really hit home how unlovable I am.
This is me and I get horrifying anxiety to the point of shaking and puking. I own a business and can’t get to the point of a relationship. I feel unworthy all the time and have a ridiculous belief that unless I’m making more money I don’t deserve friendships or relationships.
Dankeschön ❤❤❤❤
The symptoms will drop off with emotional healing. Trauma energies cause all kinds of issues for us. We target the root by helping people to release the energetic causes of their issues. Good topic 👍
I've done some energy work but would like to know more.
My symptoms dropped of after taking minerals and vitamins i needed
@@bettyboothe2523 look at vitamin D, ferritin, vitb12 and b9
@@StartingPlanet ok thnx
@@bettyboothe2523 check out Apex Energy Healing and start implementing what I teach there. I’ll be making videos next week on releasing anxiety and depression 🙏
I’m struggling SO much lately
The most traumatic relationship I have ever dealt with is my OCPD manager. He makes granularly useless lists over and over and over and reads them to us at every meeting as if it is an important update. Our team went from each member autonomously producing multiple concurrent projects per month, to him removing us from all our client relationships and making himself the principal Individual Contributor and we are there to just do small entry level tasks reactively to his demands, and now our team gets a few projects done per year TOGETHER. No idea if he neglects the rest of his life, but his wife and kids have dark circles under their eyes, look exhausted, and are completely silent the times I have been around them. They just stand there quietly or slip away silently like ghosts. Everything is a punishable offense... I don't even know what rules I'm supposed to follow, but he pretty much reminds me I'm doing something wrong every time he talks to me. He hordes everything that used to be shared and constantly reorganizes it so that we can never find it when we need it. I used to be a point of contact for clients and could fold their projects into my workflow and to delivery within 3 months maximum from intake, and now I am thrown on projects 9 to 18 months after the client brings them to him. Anytime we purchase new equipment he ignores my recommendations and purchases a variety of one type of tool over and over every year. We have so many of the same tool, and never update other tools that I patch together to keep working. The most difficult and traumatic part of all of it is that he will not let you speak in meetings or he will fly into a rage and start making your life even more difficult. All meetings are 30-90 minute exhaustingly random thoughts that have few concrete takeaways, but you have to sit there and just take the monologue or you are a bad person. I'm sure not every person with OCPD can be this out of touch with the reality of other people existing as actual living, breathing, thinking beings, but I will definitely have a PTSD hyper vigilance to keep OCPD people out of my life if I notice any symptom. They are not the kind of people I want in my life. I've worked with schizophrenics, bipolar, and OCD folks, but I've always felt like there was someone there trying to meet you half-way, but with OCPD it is like working with a psychotic toddler you aren't allowed to upset or they will try to turn your life to dust.
As a bipolar person, thank you 😂Yes, we are more boring than people would think
this is my uncle (with whom i live) to a t
Nice of you to judge everyone with OCPD because of one abusive man. I am really sorry that was your experience. I just wish you wouldn’t clump everyone with OCPD together.
@@clutterlilly I just LOVE that your first sentence is a sarcastic critique of my traumatic experience. It makes your apology likely sarcastic, too. And then you wrap it up with your entitlement to my obedience.
"I'm sure not every person with OCPD can be this out of touch".
But this is about you, right, stranger?
@@jmfs3497 I actually was not being sarcastic in my apology. My intention wasn’t to force you to love any and all people with OCPD, but to challenge your perspective on it. We all have biases, but putting an entire disorder in the category of abusive toddler is just harmful and lacking perspective. Your comments on how awful people with OCPD are far-outweighed that one sentence you referenced. That being said, I’m sorry for the way I came off, I got emotionally triggered as I’ve been high stress lately. Have the best day/night.
This is 100% me, but I still have not been diagnosed and I am 40. I’m so frustrated.
I don't know this guy, I've just stumbled across this, but I'm so uncomfortable with his reactions. He is very judgemental and superior.
I have OCD diagnosis but never heard of it known as ocpd. I seen a BPD video and felt relieved lol except that although I have buried myself with work and chores etc i do get easily hyper vigilant at times but surely if i have reason to be suspicious lol actually I do tend to worry and anticipate outcomes or percieve possibilities and overanalyze social cues or gestures but I'm not overly emotional or abnormal about things. For me it is an anxiety thing I've overcome for the most part but still I try not to get caught up in thinking. I'm an INFJ. I may have high functioning ASD thats never been diagnosed, but yeah I'm not sure I fully fit the description of being super avoidant or extra miserly.
My husband has some of these, mostly the rigid thinking and obsessed with rules. But he is terrible with money and avoids even looking at the finances because it stresses him out. He also is fairly lazy and procrastinates, but is very dedicated to his job, even though he complains about it constantly.
with all the economic and war stresses; what can we do to minimize the stress as we loose ability to purchase, or loose jobs or homes
Just because you have OCPD doesn’t always mean you are inefficient. I started a business which was successful and I was going to sell because I never took one day, weekend, or holiday off. I also make deadlines because I tend to work ahead; however, if I run too close and it is not perfect, I ask for an extension.
I can also be very emotional and understanding; however, it can’t be with “my stuff,” something I see as “getting into trouble” or taken negatively by others.
I think she got a lot wrong in this video tbh
I started showing signs of extreme perfectionism in the 7th grade. My parents weren’t paying attention to me and were paying attention to my twin sister and my older sister. I can only wear the colors white, beige, or brown or I don’t feel perfect. I have a hard time writing things down because I erase excessively and then I just give up. Most of my hobbies I have given up on because I can’t write things down or do it out of fear I will mess up. Recently I got a terrible haircut that will take forever to grow out the way I’ve had it for the last 14 years of my life. Coincidentally, right after I got off my anxiety medication to get put on a stronger one. To this day my parents don’t believe I’ve been going through anything and my twin and older sister have been given therapy and got diagnosed. I don’t even know if I have anything more than perfectionism, but I wish I had something to call it besides perfectionism. Everyone always brushes it off and it’s a real problem I’ve been dealing with.
omg in 4th grade i could only wear black white and blue and was afraid of the letter g and i re write constantly to make it perfect
That sounds like OCD. Check for example "Just Right Ocd" this may sound very familiar to you.
There is effective therapy for OCD called Erp (Exposure with Response Prevention) it is a form of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral therapy)
Hope you'll feel better soon!
كنت اتمنى لو كان ممكنا ترجمة هذا
*Oh gosh, I'm so weird but yet so normal - how cool is this?*
My dad has this with ADHD. Impulsive but then also stubborn, inefficient perfectionist while hyperfocusing. Absolute nightmare. Even when he gets impulse to start a project or change course, not only does he derail others schedules with ADHD, but acts rigid and obnoxious about everyone following his idea of perfect.
He also has 6 lawn mowers in the garage a. Bc hes hoarding them and b. Bc he fires every person that works for him.
What self help options are there? Book recommendations? Videos?
I can’t find part 2 to this. At the end of video they say we’re coming back but it cuts out there. What’s the video called? Thanks
I deal with OCD I have had it all my life. I don't socialize often. I would get obsessed
How to distinguish between ocpd and certain manifestations of asd...?
Well then where does the compulsivity come in? I am trying to understand my landlord/roommate. He was a workaholic and a perfectionist but he gets things done. He’s never been a 4 wheeler and has a Jeep wagon but as soon as I get a Jeep he started upgrading his Jeep with bumpers, new stereo, amp 6 speakers and a neat little insert that goes in the rear for the bass, a brand new winch just like the one I found for mine, only the popular name
Brand suspension, special battery terminals and a new valve cover gasket that I didn’t know he needed. Sometimes I wish I could like or have a hobby all to myself.
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I have OCPD but it mostly only manifests at work.. bc I am a vet tech and hold a high standard of care, sometimes more than coworkers or the doctors… and I think my way is best or I am right about things. Actually I have been told some incorrect information by doctors before and have seen doctors who don’t have the attention to detail to catch things on dental X-rays for example or on the oral exam that I do. I will be rigid in delegating things for instance I want all the labels on bottles to look the same so I don’t let anyone else make them, I want everything to go back in the same order on the shelf and organized… I do like being perfect and I will rewrite sticky notes several times, rewrite records instead of crossing things out bc I like how it looks more neat, I go thru each exam room and make sure everything looks the same in each drawer, etc.
However I tend to not want to follow rules and do exactly what I’m told bc I want to do things my way. When she talks about the parking. I’m actually opposite… like I will park at a meter and not pay if I’m only gonna be there a short time or I’ve parked in a red zone (overnight got a ticket for that tho lol) and just generally want to live by my own rules?
I’m not that miserly with money but I do like to have a bit of savings all the time and even if I’m not totally broke if I think I am going to need to spend on a large cost I may ask my parents for money to help. But I don’t mind splitting bills, etc and I don’t nickel and dime for stupid stuff.
I do tend to hoard things that I think I will use late but I’m able to go thru old clothes and get rid of stuff at times but it is more difficult to not want to hold onto something even if I don’t use it… I’m a bit ocd about recycling and will take things out of the trash if they are right on top like cans or bottles people throw out. I will reuse plastic ziplocks by just rinsing them out unless they have stuff all over it but honestly if you just used it for half a lemon or used a giant ziplock for crackers or something and then eat them all, the bag isn’t that dirty and I feel like it’s totally a waste of plastic… is that just me? I don’t think it’s that weird I just don’t like being wasteful?
Is it still OCD or OCPD when you delegate a task and it truly isn't done to any level of par and then needs done again? I fear hiring anyone, or delegating anything, due to the low level of quality I've experienced. Painters, floor refinishers, you name it.
How would you advise a person with OCPD trying to attain financial growth but knows he has OCPD and fears he might worsen he's conditions?
I have a landlord/friend who has been showing signs of PTSD for about a year from a roommate from hell that we dealt with a couple years ago. She has signs of OCD and controlling behavior and seems to have a hard time being able to determine the difference between important issues and things that are petty. As one example, last year she hid measuring cups after one was being left in a drainer and not put away, while at the same time she ignored a health hazard in the kitchen and could address the cat hair that had accumulated on the shelf the measuring cups were on. She hid a small recycling bin from the kitchen because I was working two jobs and had not emptied it out for 3 days, but literally the week before, and two weeks before that others in the house did not empty the garbage in the kitchen for 3 days, and I did not empty it on Thursday as usual as the garbage recycle is out out on the curb for Friday morning. One roommate did not take the garbage out ever. These were not the only instances where she was being so petty and obsessive that she was being a hypocrite because she fails to see the big picture.
I am Audhd and have been told I have some ocd traits so I am looking into how I may relate. Here’s what I’ve got so far from this video. I relate to:
1) Catch myself all the time lost in a detail then suddenly going “why am I doing this?”
2) This was the main reason I had a hard time in school; most of the time I wouldn’t even start because I couldnt figure out how to make it perfect before starting
4) aaallllll the tiiimee I am always trying to be aware of “rules” because i am scared of being in trouble for doing something wrong, and I have gotten in trouble for not knowing before
6) BECAUSE THEY DO DO IT WRONG 😉😂 (i am always rewashing dishes because I can CLEARLY see its still dirty)
Im diagnosed with adhd, but pretty sure i have autism and ocpd too. Hello friend 😂 i relate to this all too much
Dishes for sure! I've been known to wipe restaurant forks with a bleach rag in my purse... germaphobe? Probably. But I simply won't eat off of a perceptibly dirty fork or plate. The thought of it makes me nauseous. Ok, I can live with that. Some people I know don't even notice things like that.
People using the word, "nauseous," when they actualy mean "nauseated" or "nauseating," sets off my ocd traits.
I wish everyone knew that "nauseous" is a desiptive word for something that makes one feel nauseated. So if you say you're nauseous, it actually means you have transformed into something that makes others feel sick.
@@madge2114 well, that may be true but sometimes words can take on new meanings than the original technical meaning of the word when used commonly among those that speak the same language. Since it is very common, so much so that the medical community, dictionaries, and popular online search engines have already adapted this new meaning, it is understandable as to what someone means when saying they are or something makes them nauseous.
I thank you for sharing what you know, as it is new information to me. Just keep in mind that even though you may be correct, so is everyone else 👍🏽
What about if I have a milder version of this ?
The person you are describing was my father in law. When he passed he left a lot of money for inheritance. So it’s not all bad!!!
😅
My ex’s mother made a LIST to apologize to me for calling my then 9 year old an asshole over leaving a water bottle on her outside porch table. It was weird as shit and her son was in denial of her OCD.
Yikes
I think I might have this condition myself. And I feel like the preoccupation with order / perfection of every detail may be connected to a lack of “vision” in my case. Any time I consider cutting a corner, my brain simply does not give me a clear signal as to whether that would be OK - whether the goal would actually be achieved in a satisfactory way - if I cut that corner. If I don’t perfect every word that I’m writing here (to the best of my personal ability), I don’t know that my thoughts will be communicated clearly.
….Maybe that’s the issue right there. Maybe the point is that it’s not actually all that important that my thoughts are expressed clearly. Or maybe there is a larger goal, a bigger vision, other simultaneous goals that I should consider, which I am not seeing. Maybe there are better things I could be doing with my time right now. But since I can’t see those things, or at least cannot see how they could be more valuable than writing this comment, I can only conclude that this is in fact what I should be doing. And if what I write here is actually a useful contribution to to this conversation, and a lot of people are going to read it, then maybe every word is actually important. But if my comment here gets too long-winded and unpleasantly neurotic in tone, people aren’t going to want to read the whole thing. But maybe I can just fix that with further preoccupation and editing. So it’s very confusing.
To me it seems like the lack of a holistic larger vision keeps me stuck. I feel like I am looking at life through a straw, and the best I can do is to keep on my toes and pivot this straw around as quickly and intelligently as I possibly can, given my lack of vision. To try to do it any other way feels EVEN MORE cumbersome and slow than the way I do things. As long as I lack that vision and intuition that is necessary to make wiser choices in real-time, any attempt to be less perfectionistic actually requires even MORE over-analyzing in order to figure out if I am being too perfectionistic. But I haven’t actually tried that too much, so maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I need to practice doing things differently, to try to at least break habits, or maybe there is a way to tap into some other intuitions and abilities, but the pressures of life don’t allow me much space any more to be even slower for any length of time. I feel like I’m kind of locked into this. I feel like there needs to be developed some kind of psychedelic-assisted therapy to fast-track healing.
More interesting(?) thoughts:
Some of these traits associated with OCPD stubbornness might be changeable if you can simply convince the OCPD person to modify the ruleset that they are trying to follow, by spelling out the logic of how doing so would bring their behavior more into alignment with their core values / core governing rules. For example, if you point out to them that “you are capable of making X dollars per hour, so it makes more sense to spend less time fretting over spending decisions (comparison shopping, coupon collecting, negotiating, overthinking) and use that time instead to work a second job, or use that time to do other things which are objectively worth more than the dollar amount you are saving by comparing prices so much,” they may become SOMEWHAT more flexible about spending. Or if you point out the actual value of maintaining a relationship as it relates to something they seemingly care about more than the relationship itself.
It is also helpful to understand that if a person does not seem to value their relationship with you appropriately at one particular moment, they may tune back into that love some time soon, once they are no longer preoccupied with the mission of the moment. It’s really just a preoccupation, and the anxiety driving that preoccupation is displacing other human emotions, because it will not go away until that mission is complete. Their mission will not be stopped by interpersonal considerations. Your only hope is to appeal to core values and use logic to make that connection.
When I was 18 or 19, I made up my mind that “the point of life is to maximize the happiness that exists in the Universe, and to minimize the unhappiness that exists, in a healthy, sustainable, coexistence-respecting way.” My commitment to that belief, that “One Rule to Rule Them All”, drives me to try to rewrite and improve the rest of my otherwise rigid ruleset.
Following a rigid ruleset imposed by my very limited cerebrum may be an inefficient and stressful way to live, but having a good core value like that has been extremely important in orienting that ruleset. It’s not a substitute for real vision, but it helps to orient the rest of my rigid ways in the most positive way possible. I’d be more miserable and miserly if I hadn’t embraced that core philosophy at a young age.
I’m not even sure that I have OCPD, having never been diagnosed, but I am strongly relating to these OCPD videos, which I only just recently discovered. I’m very curious about treatment options now.
I just came up with a motto for this disorder, which perhaps applies to other unhealthy personality traits:
“It’s where all my power comes from. But it’s also where all my weakness comes from.”
#medcircle plz can you tell the difference between ocd and ocpd?
one is egosyntonic and one ego-dystonic. OCPD is the former and OCD is the latter. very different.
I have about three of these. My psychiatrist says I have traits of ocd but not the actual thing. I’m rigid about rules and take societal rules really seriously at times. I also don’t like spending money and never have. It’s hard for me to make big purchases. I like to think I have ocd lite. Still causes me unnecessary stress but I guess it’s so wear near as bad as the real thing