I’ve had a BUNCH of success stories that most of you would have considered very unlikely to reach out or have another chance. I’ll do some videos on them soon. Get motivated and stay motivated. Either you have another chance with your ex or you become an amazing catch 💪❤️ 🙌
Hey coach Craig wonderful video! in the future do you think it would be possible for you to make a video on how to date your Ex after first contact? i was dumped a while ago and she reached out and has been very receptive but sometimes we go days without talking. i believe the gray area is how in pursuit should i be if she shows signs or what should i look for to restore the connection on my end?
Thank you for these videos. They have been very helpful. I have benefited from the "no contact" rule before but I'm having to do it with the same person again. It still feels scary and I'm wondering if I really need to do it again, if I can, and if it will bring her back as it did some time ago. She's asked for space though, but should it really be no contact? When the space is given, I see her taking the initiatives and making some advances with conversations. My worry is, after that, what next? Or should I wait until she opens up on her full return. We've not broken up but we have agreed to allow her space. I've watched your other videos on it and they've really been helpful. Once again, thank you.
In my experience feelings for an ex fade particularly when a person grows, works on their past traumas, spends time finding their truth path.... This person is typically the one that got dumped, as the dumper typically just numbs out, seeks instant gratifications, etc. Not always but often. I think often the one that got dumped outgrows the dumper, after a while, and therefore they will no longer be compatible even if the dumper comes back.
My thoughts exactly! While I am working on myself, I hear stories of my ex going out, drinking and making out with random guys. She is really seeking validation and trying to justify the breakup instead of working on herself and letting the emotions happen and go through. While she is numbing her feelings, I am out there growing and grinding lol and that’s why I don’t think we could get back together if she doesn’t start putting in the work
You are so correct! Since my last breakup which really hurted me pretty bad, I started the personal grow journey, after a while I saw my exes doing the same mistakes, dumping another guys ( my replacements so to speak) and even if they changed their physical appearance, when they reached out to me I could see they were the same girls I met, except for my last ex which was a bit different and not for the better.
Mines been looking and doing all that going out meeting new ppl dont even give me a thought but then she could really be over and past it she dumped me that thought is always there for me :/
@@robertbarton4956 I don't think that "all that going out" is going to enrich her, or anyone taking this approach to life. Given how shallow the average person is, how trivial conversations get on dates... I can't imagine any growth that can come from meeting/dating a bunch of different people. It is tempting to fill up the emptiness we have inside with quantity of people, all of which typically don't even know the real us and don't care in the least. But the emptiness is still there. She is not past you, it is more that you are past her, because you go for quality, she goes for quantity!
@@HugDealer she has been out with a few people from work friends she seems to of made after we broke up as she got moved to a different department at her work they are mostly all female but I've seen there is one guy always with them and my ex and him are apparently the only single ones in the group so does make me wonder as she was pretty hurt after our break up alot did happen in our 4years but alot of that was towards the end because we had people getting involved also
Absolutely. But it depends how you behave. If they dump you and you beg them, then you are giving them the power. That is why its important when they break up you just say your piece and move on and let them come to you if they want too. And even if they reach out, you just reply to their messages and not start getting excited and start making sure you keeping in touch all the time.. make them work and make them feel that you are giving them a chance and not the other way round.
Agree. That’s why I didn’t do any begging just kept away and asked for no contact as I want to heal properly. My ex bf wanted to be friends and I couldn’t because I still love him plus he was not a really good bf when we were together. He wanted to reach out to leave a trail of breadcrumbs and make sure I wasn’t going anywhere...until something came along better I suppose. He wanted to reach out on his terms. No honey!!! I’m the one that is special ... I am a unique lovely soul with the biggest heart. I deserve the best therefor I will stick to my growth. It’s too bad for him as he didn’t see my value but that’s ok.. the next one who crosses my path is the man who will value and love me and marry me and cherish me. I know this much
@@rainbowsprinkles13 mine.. i was soo bad.. Anxiety completely took over me, I did everything.. handwritten letter, asking to try again, Telling them i've changed. It was soo bad, I shouldn't have begged for love, it completely showed a weak side and unattractive, i tried for like 2 Months, but i just wised up finally and went no contact since mid April, i don't see her coming back ever, it still hurts but it hurts differently now.
Same here. I chased for months. I lost my man then my job. Anxiety kicked in and I couldn't think straight. I think he planned to leave, accusing me of something I didn't do. A few weeks later he was in another relationship. Still to this day, he says it's no one. I'm better now. Haven't met anyone yet, just working on myself. I wish I didnt show a sign of weakness
PLUS ULTRA I was just thinking that too, especially since we’re the ones doing most of the work right now and likely will be providing a lot of stability and maturity when getting back
As the one who did the breaking up with I can tell you all that YES we think about you a lot. It's been a year and three months since I broke up with him.
Adriana Adriana glad to hear that dumpers fo think of us. However if you don’t want that person please don’t reach out to them. It’s hard for us who are trying to cope and move on and worse when the ex pops up out of nowhere.
I didn't. I broke up with my 1st bf in 1988. He didn't bother me afterwards and I didn't think about him, miss him or have the slightest desire for any contact with him.
True! But remember that every single person on this planet is unique in their own way. If everyone was the same...how boring would life be. That one person you loved was so unique and no one will ever be exactly like them. It’s the beauty of life 😊
From experience, the best thing that can happen is for someone to leave and NEVER return! At first we panic and freak out but trust me it’s the best thing that can happen! TRUST ME
I would say that 15 months post break up, I am feeling much better and although I’ve been dating, I’d still take my ex back if she wanted to. I knew I loved her right away and knew she was the love of my life. I’m not expecting her back, but you never know.
Don't preach abandoning every partner. If everyone does like that every relationship will fall apart every year. Don't preach like you are teaching math "BELIEVE ME". I know u are hurt, but not everyone is a terrible partner like u had.
It’s definitely hurt me when she decided to leave. I treated her so well, we made each other feel safe and she even admitted that she’s never had anybody love her the way or as much as I love her. I feel worthless at times but I’m hoping the fact that I’ve treated her better than she’s ever been treated will work in my favor. For now, I just have to love her from a distance.
She came around about 2 weeks ago apologizing and all but then went ghost again. Situation sucks but what can you really do aside from give them their space?
I was always afraid of feelings fading, but I’m glad they have. I’ve learned so much about myself and have built more clarity and self awareness, as well as having better awareness of red flags. I’ve moved on and have met many different women and made new friends. I’m glad to do NC because it pushes you to focus on yourself and really do what makes you become the best version of yourself ❤️
We were planning our engagement. He discussed my ring. Then without a word, he dumps me. Did not return my two calls, or card. Six months later he sends me a Christmas card. By then I had met someone else, who put a ring on my finger; We got married. I never learned why the first one dumped me. So don’t wait around. Take care of yourself and pray.
There is a good chance that they will. Why cant folk just talk their issues over instead of playing games and wasting months. Life is too short people, talk it out or move on!
Lulu nicole With no contact I feel like… the person who got dump has the upper hand when it comes to this. We grieve the break up early on, start working on ourselves etc etc… the dumper is happy at first then grieves way later after the dumpee gets over it. Time for the dumpee , they will lose feelings faster. Time for the dumper, will make them still stuck on you as time passes.
As a dumper who walked away and ghosted him bc he TOOK ME FOR GRANTED, yes my feelings faded and I moved forward, it used to disgusts me each time I remembered how disrespectful his treatment was but after 3 months of no contact and putting my self-respect 1st, I forgave and wishes him to be happy in life and move forward with his life, I did make friends with pain and embrace the unknown, now I truly thank God that it didn't work out and that walked away with my power, pride, and dignity....God I feel good! So good and so loved....that I have no hate left in my heart for this man....but there’s no way I want to be with him, I deserve better.
Its been almost a year ago that we broke up. No contact for 8 months. He's gone. I now realize l wasted 5 years with this guy who lies. 2 days before he broke up with me he was talking marriage. He was a phoney. I loved him, but he was a waste of time. I'm done.
Elizabeth Woolnough I lost 1 year and 4 months. I don’t think he ever cared for me ... it’s been 8 months he will contact every few months but I keep it short. I don’t know why he just doesn’t leave me alone
5 years for me too, and On that last day, some things came up that made me realise there is a chance I never knew him at all. Little lies here and there... where there is smoke, there is fire
OMG, "it stems from trauma that you had in your early childhood where you felt like you were invisible" Craig, going through work studying my anxious attachment style, I felt that in my soul. Thank you so much! Planning on getting the workbooks and hopefully a skype session, not to get my ex back (even though I miss them terribly), but for me.
Hi Craig. I just wanted to share my success story by following your advices regarding the no contact rule. My boyfriend broke up with me last Nov 2018. I followed your advice by not contacting him for a month. And guess what, he contacted me Dec 2018 and we're OKAY now. Note: after we broke up last 2018, he had a new relationship which is a rebound. The problem why we broke up is because I am a paranoid girlfriend to him and I think I suffocated him and that's where our problem started.
But its temporary. There's no guarantee that relationship would last either. Especially if that person have an avoidant attachment style. They're just running away
@@Echoday2day we were together 7yrs. Engaged for 2. They have been together for 4 months and engaged. He post pics of her on his socials. He never did of me. Maybe my relationship is the exception to the rule.
I have to say: yes my childhood was lonely I think I cried a lot missing my mom. She ask me to forgive her for not being there for me; I think she could see my lack. I’m on no contact almost got roped in but reconized the trap. Did not respond she grew more angry and sent me critical coded message to get me to respond. No way! Thank you I will be putting money into my account so I can purchase work training. I’am a Christian and see how my past was not grounded in loving myself. Yes I even imagine myself putting on the Armour of God and guard my thoughts, reactions, all. I love you both. Yes I never had a mother duck to show me unconditional love..lol! But I’m learning to address my thoughts and feelings.. God bless you both.⭐️♥️
even know its been over a year and 5 month and no contact ,at this point I lost hope but everytime I watch your videos and follow your advice,always bring me peace and make me feel to be a better person everyday
@@Wifeyytalks no i didnt after 3 days he broke up with me he moved into another relationship ,bought a home and started a new family . On my side im happy on my own ,that was biggest lesson of my life
I hear that NC works better the sooner you do it. Well I'm screwed in that regard lol. I was crazy needy and desperate for months. I have no doubt I sabotaged my chances to almost .000001% of ever hearing from her again after 4 years. On another note of NC, I do feel better and I've taken up new hobbies and projects I never thought I'd do before. I do feel better, even though I miss her. I just wish I knew how to handle a breakup earlier and knew about this videos before hand. Unfortunately, some people just have to go through hell before they learn and understand it.
@@dwightschrute8141 still broken up and it's been 2 years. I don't really care anymore thanks to NC. However, I did hear from her 6 months after the breakup. It lasted about 2 weeks and she said she had feelings for the guy she left me for that she couldn't shake. By then I was so good a NC and had more value in myself that I was not going to accept second place and I just went back into NC for good.
Thank you for all of your videos and support. The amount of information you put out is amazing. The fact that you share this much information daily for free says a lot about the both of you and how much you care about helping people. Your videos have helped keep me at ease during these emotionally intense times for me, and have helped me to better understand myself, my partner, and my relationship. I have been contemplating scheduling something because it is expensive for me right now, but I recently scheduled a meeting with Margaret. I value both of your insight. Margaret has a lot of experience with trauma and avoidant personalty types, which is why I chose you, Margaret. I truly don't know where I would be without the help of both of your guidance. Much love.
I messed up one week into the breakup. I'm scared I'll never heard from her again but your videos help me get onto the path to growth. I'm starting out but I want to get myself back. Anxiety is hurting me now but with your videos I'm gonna do the work
My ex told me today that if we didn't talk for a while she would just forget about me and move on. She said "it's too long of a break, once we get time away from each other, the connection is gone and that's it...it's over, I wouldn't feel it anymore and won't want to talk to you when you come back because I just wouldn't be interested, I'd have moved on emotionally. That's part of life, getting over someone and moving on. When it's done it's done, that's it". And I know she's being legit because she did it with her other exes too. She "stops feeling it" after a certain time away. She's not like regular girls, with her the more time she's around someone the more she likes them. Once she gets space away she stops being interested. It was true in our relationship too, the more I texted her to do things the more she texted me to do things. If we got into a fight and I pulled away a bit, she would just be disinterested for a while until I picked up the pace again, then she'll start being interested again. She's the kind of girl that if you tried to cut her off, she'd text you maybe the first day, then would never text you again and wouldn't waste any time in moving on from you. She's very emotionally centered and grounded, and has a lot of self love. She knows she doesn't need a relationship, and she's perfectly happy being alone. She's never drank, never smoked and never had sex (before she had sex with me I mean), those are choices that she makes on her own by disciplining herself. No Contact is NOT gonna work on her. I just feel really stuck because I'm in a situation where she still likes spending time with me a lot and I like it too, I'm in love with her, but she doesn't wanna be in a relationship with me anymore. And I know if I do No Contact with her she's just gonna never reach out to me again because she's done it before with other guys. She's just that kind of girl. if you don't stick around she's not gonna chase you, she has too much self respect for that, she just moves on.
Sorry to hear that. My ex is the same way. These type of things gets your mind f*cked up… I’m still going through it after a month and I just want you to know that you’re not alone. We’re in this together. Time wil heal and we will see the light one day.
Iam from Germany and found those Videos... Great Work. I was four years in a relationship with a women and we had a strong bond and so much history together. In the last few months she changed and I think her feelings where not at the highest level..She started to do a lot a alone and didn't acted like i knew her. I realized it too late and became needy, scared and jealous for some reasons. I wasn't comfortable anymore and scared to loose her because I wanted to marry her at that point of time and that was in the back of my head. I acted stupid and pushed her more more and more away from me and she saw mistakes in everything I did at that point. Now we broke up few weeks ago and i said I respect and accept that and began with NC...in the end she said se was surprised with my reaction and maybe that's a mistake to break up but at the point she sees no future. Iam focusing now on myself and whatever happens with us I will be ready for the future !!! Thanks Craig
I have had 3 serious relationships in my life. The one I believe to be the one just broke up with me. I’m devastated but, I implemented NC from day one. Thinking back on my previous relationships I realised when we broke up, they always came back, or I went back, until it we realised it was just unhealthy to be on/off. We are still friends til this day. Thinking back on guys I dated for a short period of time, I am still friends with the ones that touched my heart and quite possibly, something could start up again if I wanted to. I caught up with one of them yesterday, he told me that a small birthday gesture I did for him, stayed with him until this day and he will never forget it. It was nice that I’m still being remembered and we only dated a few months. If you have been together long, they will never forget you. It all depends on how it ended and whether the relationship was good or bad
I went though 7 months of no contact and she called me last week. She's having serious problems with the guy she jumped into dating right after me and the time I spent with her brought every ounce of those feelings came back. She told me things I've wanted to hear for the last 7 months and as soon as she did, she had my heart again, but she went back to him after I gave her my time and opened up to her again. She flipped a 180 and blew me off for her abusive new boyfriend and friends. My opinion: Relationships and poeple are horseshit and the only way you don't get hurt (especially if you're a sentimental sort) is don't get attached. You will feel like you lost everything and is torture. My advice: Put up a wall, shut and lock the door, then put another wall behind that door. Listen to NF and when you move on, never look back.
@@CoachCraigKenneththanks Craig I've been doing it for awhile I did a coaching with you in March i know you probably dont remember but i was the kid that started crying during the phone call i want to do another one in the future
Just came across your videos for the 1s time. I recently in just last 3 days have had a breakup. I've not reached out to him at all. It's rough. I'm doing it. I'm giving him the space. Was a 2half yr relationship and very wonderful. It was a breakup that happened over a disagreement and sudden . We literally had an amazing relationship.
I honestly don't say another word to my ex's because they got their one chance and fucked up so I don't waste my life allowing someone else to create mental health issues and people are creatures of habit so guaranteed that it going to be the same thing just different day.
My FA ex just reached out at 2am VIA text as was our usual communication. I broke up with them February, they contacted me a month later saying how they missed me. I replied nicely and basically said the lack of communication broke us and no relationship can survive with out it. They replied "no worries take care" then at 2am last night (which would be 3 1/2 months after their last text) messaged again. Need to ignore it for me. It is not in my personality to ignore people but I have been healing so well. I was a secure and turned anxious in that relationship. 1st time in my life and stuck around for 1 year - it was really too much for me to understand. THEY DO REACH OUT and she is stubborn. hope she gets the help she needs. (i have copied my comment in other videos)
15:20 Gosh I sure hope not as well, but this is all the proof I need to know that it probably would. My ex had *literally* texted me saying, "Just know if you get into an accident and end up in the hospital, I'd immediately go book a plane ticket to go see you." I mean is that really what it takes?? Lol.
Hey guys! Thank you so much for all the videos you make, I've been watching them a lot recently as I am in a similar situastion to kangaroo-guy, where I feel my boyfriend is valuing his 15 yo teenage son more than our relationship. We are not married, have been living together for 4 years but he is not making any steps into the marriage direction. He is visiting his son every single day, sometimes even twice a day, no exception and it's too much for me... Can you please make a video and talk about prioritising relationships and balancing this stuff? I can't find anything on this topic, where the girlfriend's position is taken into account too... Thank you so much! Love the both of you ❤
I do think the NC is really THE opportunity for the personal groewht. The rest, in my view, is an add on. I am really working on my own, also by seeing a psychologist. I think about her less and less, also because I think I need to take care of myself. Thanks for your great videos Craig, from an Italian to an Italian ;)
I think this video applies more to no DV/abusive relationships and ones were there is still feelings involved. Also good on you! that can be a super hard thing to do
Craig, I can't understand how someone could have dumped you! . lol. You crack me up with that " hand written letter, and the grand gesture". Can't get enough of that. I'nm trying to figure out how to translate that to Spanish, lol
Hey Coach Craig and Margaret, love your videos! Can you do a video about your ex (the dumper) NOT being on dating apps after the break up? There was no build up to the break, it was a rough, fast break up. My friends who my ex never met or knew are not seeing him on dating apps either, and is in no contact with me now. Kind of certain my ex only has one pair of shoes and is walking around barefoot. ;) Thanks!
I ran into my ex today 4 months after the break up and she didn't even respond to me when I said hi. Just shows I'm in the power position and that CLEARLY she's not settled, moved on or got over me at all otherwise she would have responded! Do not be scared of this they can't forget you ever
I think you are fooling yourself. She didn't respond because she isn't interested and knew if she said hi back you would have been all over her so she purposely blanked you. Only because an ex won't forget you doesn't mean they still love you or have any feelings for you. I know all of this sounds negative but it's the truth and the sooner you move on and find someone new the better and happier you will be. Peace
@@MrEvilWasp I know this girl and I know that I'm not overanalyzing when I say her ass is hurt because I LEFT HER like I broke up with her that's the thing here and just because I'm like "I found myself and I'd talk to her if she wanted to" now she's acting like she broke up with me and childish bs like that so tbh I'm moving on but I'd not mind talking to her whatsoever and dw I can take "negative vibes" bro you're just being real I appreciate that! And you're right but just saying after a few years feelings don't fade in 3/4 months especially not with this girl because I was her first relationship and she's was literally hooked on me like I was a drug hahaha
@@hgzmatt I don't blame anything on her but you are not in my situation. She turned me into a black sheep. She tried turning my friends against me. I have 0 respect for her
It's been 3 months since and we haven't said a word to each other since I miss her and still love her but I'm doing my best trying to respect her decision that she doesn't want to with me. i haven't talked to her I'm not trying to ruin her life anymore then i already have
I followed your program and I have to say it absolutely works thank you so much I went no contact because I was tired of the way he was treating me I felt he was taking me for granted and his mood swings were difficult to deal with I had enough so when he said he needed space I took advantage of it I went no contact not only did I go no contact I took a month-long vacation far away so that he couldn't just drive by knock on my door come in and look for me at my house I was gone really gone.lol He was making contact with family members asking about me about 3 days after I had went no contact and everybody said they didn't know where I was at whether he believed them or not he continued to send messages and I did not respond to anything I didn't get on social media he even emailed me I blocked his phone number when he called he could leave messages but his number wouldn't show up while he was off feeling sorry for himself and missing me and realizing how he had treated me I was off in South America having the time of my life enjoying the beach when I came home after the 30 days I saw him in the same grocery store as I was in he tried to come up and talk to me I walked right past him as if I didn't even know who he was I know that probably hurt him a bit but I just wasn't ready to talk with him yet I continue grocery shopping and I left I noticed he was standing by my car he was talking to me then I put the groceries in my car walk pass him got in and drove off and continue to act as if I didn't even know he was existing the reason I did this is so many times in the past when we were together he would ignore my messages my questions he would ignore me and it was very hurtful and disrespectful and he would go silent on me and I know that's also a sign of emotional abuse does he love me I've still not sure to this day I am now on 95 days no contact and he's still trying to get in touch with me thank you so much for all you do keep the great work up
Letty Gonzalez Only way to know if he’s changed is to start spending time with him- allow him in your life slowly and see if he demonstrates change. Actions demonstrate change- not words. Time is the best test.
I watch a lot of these videos over and over. I lashed out and said so much stupid stuff. I'm approaching 11 weeks. I honestly feel this would be the greatest success story if mine comes back at this point. I watch your videos daily,read books on relationships and rekindled alot of old friendships and I'd like to think God Intended this to happen other wise the rekindled relationships would never of happen. I hope he will ease my pain soon and bring me back what I still consider to be the love of my life.
@@oomorboo1 no sir. Never heard a peep from her again. Found someone else at the gym. It turned out for the best. Looking back i now realize my ex lifestyle and mine and how she was as a whole just wasn't for me. Takes time and finding someone great to realize things
She’s with another guy. But was texting me asking about something she thought she left at my house. Told her I think I threw it away but good luck with him. Two weeks later. She asks me if I found that stuff. Lol. But then went in to telling me about dating the new guy. That she knows it’ll work out. He’s the one. I said is that why you’ve messaged me twice asking about a bra? Lol. Back to no contact.
yzwoody tell her you are seeing someone at this moment and prefer if she didn’t contact you... see what she says lol bet you anything she will try to be in your life out of jealousy
Speaking from personal experience every break up is different cause I called my girlfriend after 4 days cause we both couldn’t last 30 days without each other. I told her about the no contact rule she told me she would personally come to kill me if I waited that long lol
Mine do. If I'm not talking to you, you did something horrible to me, and I don't want to talk to you anymore. Why is everyone obsessed with their ex? They're your ex for a reason. Just like my grandma said, "Just move on, and don't look back. Your future isn't behind you. Never look back. "
tosca donna I understand where you are coming from In why would we want our Ex’s back For me I’ve really tried too move on and date but sadly I’ve had no luck what so ever I can’t get past the first date And if I get a phone number Nothing ever happens So I feel like I’m not wanted by someone new So my only option is too try and get our Ex back I know it’s a really sad situation But it’s how I feel 😌
I did it as the dumpee. I just wanted to work on myself without the intrusive distracton. I can enjoy life without worrying about seeing what everyone else is up to.
best guy I got dumped two weeks ago and that’s the course of action I took. It literally came down to the fact that every time I went on social media, I had no willpower and would start frequently checking her Instagram, seeing the new people she followed, what posts she was liking. It was toxic for me and just making things worse on my end. I would rather have time to work on myself and move on so that when I do return to social media, I no longer have this obsessive attachment to her. It just hurts too much right now to even look at
I seriously can’t believe my feelings are not waning after over a year after the breakup. Just when I think I’m over it in comes another thought that leads to another dozen that then lead to dozens and the same cycle on and on. She hasn’t reached out to me in 6 months and I still have a hidden hope she will call me. But hopes are not high.
Craig and Margaret I went no contact with my ex narcissist i had to change my number i gave my ex too many chances he never changed thank yous so much for your videos💙💖
Coaches but the reality is if the ex is on social media talking and flirting with other people they are not going to be thinking about their ex and they will forget about them. It's logical the feeling will fade away because their mind is being occupied and replaced with another person. So if during no contact the ex is talking or flirting with someone else, the chances of getting back together are 0 because one screw replaces another
but they will be constantly comparing you to the new person and if they arent better their are going to be problems especially if you made them feel really special
Trying to replace instantly gonna backfire...cuz, when the ilusions fade, u will come back in thei mind, stronger then before... Its way better to adress all the pain and frustration when u feel it so u can move on from that, insted of hiding and hooking around and then BOOM...u cant move on that fast!!! * . *
Craig I don't think my ex will reach out. He was adamant that he didn't want me anymore. He said some very hurtful things. They will stop him reaching out.
You really helped me a whole lot today Coach keith. I married with 3 Kids. And im financially not able to separate at the moment, but i used some of your tools and they instantly worked.
Hi, thanks for your great and informative presentations. I have what I believe is a difficult situation. I believe my wife suffers from Borderline personality disorder. I have studied and conferred with professionals for hundreds of hours before I came to this conclusion. So. Nothing works with a BPD. I have so much resentment, hundreds of un validated un resolved feelings. Thousands of in complete conversations. We have the same fight every couple days for seven years now. She has betrayed me like no one ever has, she is disrespectful, not present for life, I give she takes, I love she hates I smile she frowns. She has destroyed all of my security in love and in being vulnerable. She marginalizes my musical talents and trys to drown it out with the vacuum. Unless it's about what might be for dinner. She lies about everything. She tells the whole world that I am a monster. I have sacrificed almost all that I have and all that is me to try and make her whole. and I am slandered and blamed for all of her faults. WTF? I know her patterns yet I keep taking get back hoping that this time she is sincere and will stop her reign of terror.
Only you are given her the power all this time; you have attachment style and needs to work on self love and detachment on people that are not treating you with respect. You only have the key to change it; remember broken people don’t like happy or successful; they have hatred of their own misery and don’t want others to have it good, if they don’t!! Love yourself and find yourself in you and no one will stumble on you!!
8:30 FYI, around the 45 day mark; the „dark limerence“ ( = hormomes that bring the separation anxiety like cortisol, adrenaline and so on, so the complete opposite of limerence when you fall in love) reach their peak.
Mine and my ex's feelings have faded. We were able to reconnect and find closure after 5 months but the both of us have moved on at this point and I do finally feel content with no reconciliation.
You comment this stuff on every video about break ups clearly your just trying to kid yourself you’ve moved on, otherwise you wouldn’t still be watching these videos
@@batbro6549 Sure, my heart is still healing and I am definitely still in the process of recovery. Thus, I still watch break up videos. Thankfully, I am feeling much better these days because of communities and videos like Kenneth's.
This no-contact is not easy. My ex-after a few weeks is having panic attacks. He stated that my emotional support has been so valuable to him. He misses me for the emotional connection. I hope we both do the work during separation so we can be stronger, together.
I am more then ready now if he comes back..?.. I will continue the work on myself that will never end. I enjoy watching myself grow better and stronger. [And I am healing too]. Thanks to you both.
The only time my ex made initial contact was over Christmas night That’s it ! It’s coming up too 11 months since our break up I’m the silly one that keeps breaking NC She told me back in April After going in NC for 100 days That she is happy too go away with me again However she never reaches out too me It’s always me that Breaks it She is very happy too hear from me but often days she’s busy So now I’m in NC day 12 today! I’m 46 yes old and I really can’t seem too let go as I’m finding it really hard too find someone that wants too be with me I get rejected all the time I get Phone numbers but nothing never adventurates I just feel like I’m. Not wanted 😩
Rebekah Tinker Thankyou very much It means a lot too me I would love too help other people too I do need you work on myself more In regards too my Ex I don’t let on that I’m in pain I really try too stay cool and fun! I do my best too get on with my life as I go too Gigs head out and abt Chat too new people I’ve even tried Online dating a few times Only too no Prevail I get one meet up and then that’s it Now I’ve joined a social Outing group and become a member so let’s see what happens 👍🏻
He never had feelings for me to start with, the whole relationship and very brief marriage was all an act on his behalf.... i didnt about the word " narcissist" or what it meant but i've listened to a lot of videos and they have been spot on and described him down to a T.
Hi Coach Craig , and Coach Margaret !! Your video's sure make me feel good when I'm down , Thank You both . I have been married to my wife for 19 years , and she separated from me going on 2 years . I'm just misserable . Is there any chance of her taking another look at me again and wanting me back ? Should I just give up , Thank You , Sincerely Broken Hearted .
My ex of 4 months just reached out to me. There is a particular day that is very hard for him and his family. He reached out (indirect/direct) the night before it and the day of. I responded and both days we chatted off and on. I just moved and we talked about that a lot. I kept it positive. He is with a rebound but I don’t get the feeling it’s a very good relationship. I saw them at something recently and there was no chemistry. He never held her hand and never introduced her to anyone. It still hurt so bad to see. But I find it interesting that when a really hard day for him emotionally came around he reached out to me. He spent the last two years with me on that day. He said he was alone when we talked. But my friend told me he rebound was over the day after. Again that hurts. I hope I handled this right. I’m going back into no contact now and will wait for him to contact me again
What if you both are watching no contact videos and both trading the breakup the same? How much would that hurt the chance of getting back together and in what way?
Coach Craig every time I hear you give me hope and relax me, thou I feel in my case this person does want to not feel anything for me so we could be friends. I am just scared that I might never have a romantic relationship with him at all.
@@dwightschrute8141 Sure, So after some time and working on myself, I realized that my last relationship was very toxic and really nothing to look forward to. Right now I am dating a person who looks like a good match for me and I think might be a good fit for a fulfilling relationship. So, in the end, I think I am happy I no longer want something with my ex. =)
Cheating husband looks like he is filing a divorce after 3 weeks of no contact. He sent messages and called me everyday once he said he missed me and he couldn't sleep....but he got no reply from me. What is in his mind? It sounds he is filing a divorce in his last message telling me that it gives him depression and anxiety. But I really have decided not to go back to him anymore. His lies and hidings hurt and damaged me a lot. I hope he realized what he had done to me.
My ex contacted me yesterday after 3 weeks of NC just “to check on me” I replied with I’m doing good! I hope you are doing well. He replied with I’m managing thank you. But it ended there. :/ what does this mean??
Most dumpers want to be chased after the breakup to feel wanted. Probably messed with his ego when you went NC. He could be having second thoughts, stay in NC and see if he reaches out with something meaningful
Same situation with me. I went NC for 3 months and he messaged me just to check up on me and asked me how i've been. I replied that I was doing well and I was overall being polite and confident. He said he was doing good as well. Our conversation also ended right there. I didn't really understand the point in messaging me after 3 months of no contact/radio silence just to text me 3 words and then stop again.
Is separation anxiety still a good idea when they broke up with you after you neglected them for 8 months due to a bad period of your life, giving little affection, they moved out of town and got new friends? Wouldnt it be counter-productive to go NC, reinforcing their idea that you will keep leaving them just like you did before? They still talk to me everyday about their general life.
This video has given me hope. I now going back to my ex wife is not my option, but it does give me a sign of hope for my ex-girlfriend or even a girl I was talking to and was very interested in. The second girl was not ready to start a relationship just yet so she kindly said she was unfriending me on snapchat but she did show me she took a screen shot of my username name so she could re add me later. As much as I wish I could talk to her more I am respecting her wishes and doing my best to not post anything starting today. Because I was unfriended but not locked so I know she could still look if she wanted too. Just like she has cut down on post on her end. I guess time will tell on who I will end up with.
I’ve had a BUNCH of success stories that most of you would have considered very unlikely to reach out or have another chance. I’ll do some videos on them soon.
Get motivated and stay motivated. Either you have another chance with your ex or you become an amazing catch 💪❤️ 🙌
Definitely interested in success stories!
Thank you for the motivation Craig. I needed it !
I share them all the time
Hey coach Craig wonderful video! in the future do you think it would be possible for you to make a video on how to date your Ex after first contact? i was dumped a while ago and she reached out and has been very receptive but sometimes we go days without talking. i believe the gray area is how in pursuit should i be if she shows signs or what should i look for to restore the connection on my end?
Thank you for these videos. They have been very helpful. I have benefited from the "no contact" rule before but I'm having to do it with the same person again. It still feels scary and I'm wondering if I really need to do it again, if I can, and if it will bring her back as it did some time ago. She's asked for space though, but should it really be no contact? When the space is given, I see her taking the initiatives and making some advances with conversations. My worry is, after that, what next? Or should I wait until she opens up on her full return. We've not broken up but we have agreed to allow her space. I've watched your other videos on it and they've really been helpful. Once again, thank you.
It's not hard to leave them alone when they've REALLY hurt you. Trust me
I dare to disagree
Same
i have been hurt so many times and it s alwasys my fault she says
Correct ✔💯💯
Preach it gurl
In my experience feelings for an ex fade particularly when a person grows, works on their past traumas, spends time finding their truth path.... This person is typically the one that got dumped, as the dumper typically just numbs out, seeks instant gratifications, etc. Not always but often.
I think often the one that got dumped outgrows the dumper, after a while, and therefore they will no longer be compatible even if the dumper comes back.
My thoughts exactly! While I am working on myself, I hear stories of my ex going out, drinking and making out with random guys. She is really seeking validation and trying to justify the breakup instead of working on herself and letting the emotions happen and go through. While she is numbing her feelings, I am out there growing and grinding lol and that’s why I don’t think we could get back together if she doesn’t start putting in the work
You are so correct! Since my last breakup which really hurted me pretty bad, I started the personal grow journey, after a while I saw my exes doing the same mistakes, dumping another guys ( my replacements so to speak) and even if they changed their physical appearance, when they reached out to me I could see they were the same girls I met, except for my last ex which was a bit different and not for the better.
Mines been looking and doing all that going out meeting new ppl dont even give me a thought but then she could really be over and past it she dumped me that thought is always there for me :/
@@robertbarton4956 I don't think that "all that going out" is going to enrich her, or anyone taking this approach to life. Given how shallow the average person is, how trivial conversations get on dates... I can't imagine any growth that can come from meeting/dating a bunch of different people. It is tempting to fill up the emptiness we have inside with quantity of people, all of which typically don't even know the real us and don't care in the least. But the emptiness is still there. She is not past you, it is more that you are past her, because you go for quality, she goes for quantity!
@@HugDealer she has been out with a few people from work friends she seems to of made after we broke up as she got moved to a different department at her work they are mostly all female but I've seen there is one guy always with them and my ex and him are apparently the only single ones in the group so does make me wonder as she was pretty hurt after our break up alot did happen in our 4years but alot of that was towards the end because we had people getting involved also
I believe it's not us that has another chance with our ex, but they may get another chance with us if so.
Absolutely. But it depends how you behave. If they dump you and you beg them, then you are giving them the power. That is why its important when they break up you just say your piece and move on and let them come to you if they want too. And even if they reach out, you just reply to their messages and not start getting excited and start making sure you keeping in touch all the time.. make them work and make them feel that you are giving them a chance and not the other way round.
Agree. That’s why I didn’t do any begging just kept away and asked for no contact as I want to heal properly. My ex bf wanted to be friends and I couldn’t because I still love him plus he was not a really good bf when we were together. He wanted to reach out to leave a trail of breadcrumbs and make sure I wasn’t going anywhere...until something came along better I suppose. He wanted to reach out on his terms. No honey!!! I’m the one that is special ... I am a unique lovely soul with the biggest heart. I deserve the best therefor I will stick to my growth. It’s too bad for him as he didn’t see my value but that’s ok.. the next one who crosses my path is the man who will value and love me and marry me and cherish me. I know this much
@@rainbowsprinkles13 mine.. i was soo bad.. Anxiety completely took over me, I did everything.. handwritten letter, asking to try again, Telling them i've changed.
It was soo bad, I shouldn't have begged for love, it completely showed a weak side and unattractive, i tried for like 2 Months, but i just wised up finally and went no contact since mid April, i don't see her coming back ever, it still hurts but it hurts differently now.
Same here. I chased for months. I lost my man then my job. Anxiety kicked in and I couldn't think straight. I think he planned to leave, accusing me of something I didn't do. A few weeks later he was in another relationship. Still to this day, he says it's no one. I'm better now. Haven't met anyone yet, just working on myself. I wish I didnt show a sign of weakness
PLUS ULTRA I was just thinking that too, especially since we’re the ones doing most of the work right now and likely will be providing a lot of stability and maturity when getting back
As the one who did the breaking up with I can tell you all that YES we think about you a lot. It's been a year and three months since I broke up with him.
Call him..give him a success story..if possible from your end
Adriana Adriana glad to hear that dumpers fo think of us. However if you don’t want that person please don’t reach out to them. It’s hard for us who are trying to cope and move on and worse when the ex pops up out of nowhere.
I didn't. I broke up with my 1st bf in 1988. He didn't bother me afterwards and I didn't think about him, miss him or have the slightest desire for any contact with him.
So do you want him back?
Lmao girl. U can undo what has been done wrong.
Billions of people in this world and yet we get hung up on one person, what the heck is wrong with us lol!!
True! But remember that every single person on this planet is unique in their own way. If everyone was the same...how boring would life be. That one person you loved was so unique and no one will ever be exactly like them. It’s the beauty of life 😊
Ikr🙄😂
@@TYTPLAY I agree
It's probably cuz we love hard 🤷🏾
Yeah but everyone is not the same. Imagine if every last billion of us was all the exact same
It really depends on the imprint that you left on the person. Regardless, work on self improvement and be kind to yourself during the process.
My ex's feelings for me can't fade because he never really had any feelings for me in the first place.
Yes he did
Any updates Elizabeth?
No, he's history. It was very short-lived and he admitted he was still in love with his ex. I now have no feelings for him either.
Same baby, same.
That apreciation is very accurate. Specially if you paired with a narcicist.
From experience, the best thing that can happen is for someone to leave and NEVER return! At first we panic and freak out but trust me it’s the best thing that can happen! TRUST ME
For some people, yes. But believe me, every situation is different
I would say that 15 months post break up, I am feeling much better and although I’ve been dating, I’d still take my ex back if she wanted to. I knew I loved her right away and knew she was the love of my life. I’m not expecting her back, but you never know.
Don't preach abandoning every partner. If everyone does like that every relationship will fall apart every year. Don't preach like you are teaching math "BELIEVE ME". I know u are hurt, but not everyone is a terrible partner like u had.
I don't agree
@@curtiseby8593 Heard from her?
How amazing most be to know your ex wants to see you and misses you, especially when you're hurting!
Congrats to those may God keep blessing y'all!
It’s definitely hurt me when she decided to leave. I treated her so well, we made each other feel safe and she even admitted that she’s never had anybody love her the way or as much as I love her. I feel worthless at times but I’m hoping the fact that I’ve treated her better than she’s ever been treated will work in my favor. For now, I just have to love her from a distance.
In a similar situation. 10 years I worked my ass off to make the relationship work and treat him better than his own family-but he left anyway.
Any updates Stephen?
Update ?
Update?
She came around about 2 weeks ago apologizing and all but then went ghost again. Situation sucks but what can you really do aside from give them their space?
Margaret you talk like my grandmother just so loving and caring and have a beautiful smile.
I love Craig and love it so much when Margaret joins!!
Remember guys, you are not forgettable. Work on yourself.
I was always afraid of feelings fading, but I’m glad they have. I’ve learned so much about myself and have built more clarity and self awareness, as well as having better awareness of red flags. I’ve moved on and have met many different women and made new friends. I’m glad to do NC because it pushes you to focus on yourself and really do what makes you become the best version of yourself ❤️
Update?
We were planning our engagement. He discussed my ring. Then without a word, he dumps me. Did not return my two calls, or card.
Six months later he sends me a Christmas card.
By then I had met someone else, who put a ring on my finger; We got married.
I never learned why the first one dumped me.
So don’t wait around.
Take care of yourself and pray.
Excellent advice
You guys are so understanding. I feel as if I’m sitting there comfortably chatting. I wish I could give you guys a hug 🤗
Careful! Margaret bites! 😂
Coach Craig Kenneth 😂🧛🏻♀️
There is a good chance that they will. Why cant folk just talk their issues over instead of playing games and wasting months. Life is too short people, talk it out or move on!
Unfortunately some people aren’t like that
Lulu nicole
With no contact I feel like… the person who got dump has the upper hand when it comes to this. We grieve the break up early on, start working on ourselves etc etc… the dumper is happy at first then grieves way later after the dumpee gets over it. Time for the dumpee , they will lose feelings faster. Time for the dumper, will make them still stuck on you as time passes.
Also, if they have a habit of going from relationship to relationship, you should just move on because they already have.
As a dumper who walked away and ghosted him bc he TOOK ME FOR GRANTED, yes my feelings faded and I moved forward, it used to disgusts me each time I remembered how disrespectful his treatment was but after 3 months of no contact and putting my self-respect 1st, I forgave and wishes him to be happy in life and move forward with his life, I did make friends with pain and embrace the unknown, now I truly thank God that it didn't work out and that walked away with my power, pride, and dignity....God I feel good! So good and so loved....that I have no hate left in my heart for this man....but there’s no way I want to be with him, I deserve better.
Its been almost a year ago that we broke up. No contact for 8 months. He's gone. I now realize l wasted 5 years with this guy who lies. 2 days before he broke up with me he was talking marriage. He was a phoney. I loved him, but he was a waste of time. I'm done.
I only wasted a year. I don't want him back now.
Elizabeth Woolnough I lost 1 year and 4 months. I don’t think he ever cared for me ... it’s been 8 months he will contact every few months but I keep it short. I don’t know why he just doesn’t leave me alone
Sounds like you might’ve been with a narcissist.
Narcissist..
5 years for me too, and On that last day, some things came up that made me realise there is a chance I never knew him at all. Little lies here and there... where there is smoke, there is fire
OMG, "it stems from trauma that you had in your early childhood where you felt like you were invisible" Craig, going through work studying my anxious attachment style, I felt that in my soul. Thank you so much! Planning on getting the workbooks and hopefully a skype session, not to get my ex back (even though I miss them terribly), but for me.
Hi Craig. I just wanted to share my success story by following your advices regarding the no contact rule. My boyfriend broke up with me last Nov 2018. I followed your advice by not contacting him for a month. And guess what, he contacted me Dec 2018 and we're OKAY now.
Note: after we broke up last 2018, he had a new relationship which is a rebound. The problem why we broke up is because I am a paranoid girlfriend to him and I think I suffocated him and that's where our problem started.
Thanks for sharing
I’m way past my break-up but I still apply Mr. Craig and Ms. Margaret’s advice in other situations. It’s very applicable for everyday life.
Did you get your ex back?
Yes they do out of sight out of mind in time feelings fade the longer you go without someone or something the more you can live without them
I love watching you and Margaret! I’m going through a breakup right now, it’s been 3 weeks and you both have been very helpful.
Rosalva Gomez Did he come back? lol
Update?
Update?
Update? Please
Are you back together?
When they leave for someone else. They forget about you easy.
But its temporary. There's no guarantee that relationship would last either. Especially if that person have an avoidant attachment style. They're just running away
@@Echoday2day we were together 7yrs. Engaged for 2. They have been together for 4 months and engaged. He post pics of her on his socials. He never did of me. Maybe my relationship is the exception to the rule.
I have to say: yes my childhood was lonely I think I cried a lot missing my mom. She ask me to forgive her for not being there for me; I think she could see my lack. I’m on no contact almost got roped in but reconized the trap. Did not respond she grew more angry and sent me critical coded message to get me to respond. No way! Thank you I will be putting money into my account so I can purchase work training. I’am a Christian and see how my past was not grounded in loving myself. Yes I even imagine myself putting on the Armour of God and guard my thoughts, reactions, all. I love you both. Yes I never had a mother duck to show me unconditional love..lol! But I’m learning to address my thoughts and feelings.. God bless you both.⭐️♥️
even know its been over a year and 5 month and no contact ,at this point I lost hope but everytime I watch your videos and follow your advice,always bring me peace and make me feel to be a better person everyday
kenia961 did u ex ever come back?
Update?
@@Wifeyytalks no i didnt after 3 days he broke up with me he moved into another relationship ,bought a home and started a new family .
On my side im happy on my own ,that was biggest lesson of my life
Margaret is so awesome...She has such a subtle sense of humour...Love her from South Africa
I hear that NC works better the sooner you do it. Well I'm screwed in that regard lol. I was crazy needy and desperate for months. I have no doubt I sabotaged my chances to almost .000001% of ever hearing from her again after 4 years.
On another note of NC, I do feel better and I've taken up new hobbies and projects I never thought I'd do before. I do feel better, even though I miss her. I just wish I knew how to handle a breakup earlier and knew about this videos before hand. Unfortunately, some people just have to go through hell before they learn and understand it.
Update??
@@dwightschrute8141 still broken up and it's been 2 years. I don't really care anymore thanks to NC. However, I did hear from her 6 months after the breakup. It lasted about 2 weeks and she said she had feelings for the guy she left me for that she couldn't shake. By then I was so good a NC and had more value in myself that I was not going to accept second place and I just went back into NC for good.
You made my request a video! I made this question multiple times ! I'm so grateful! ❤❤❤
I think after every breakup there will be a peak of feelings. That might be after a few weeks of no contact or after several months.
Thank you for all of your videos and support. The amount of information you put out is amazing. The fact that you share this much information daily for free says a lot about the both of you and how much you care about helping people. Your videos have helped keep me at ease during these emotionally intense times for me, and have helped me to better understand myself, my partner, and my relationship. I have been contemplating scheduling something because it is expensive for me right now, but I recently scheduled a meeting with Margaret. I value both of your insight. Margaret has a lot of experience with trauma and avoidant personalty types, which is why I chose you, Margaret. I truly don't know where I would be without the help of both of your guidance. Much love.
I think we should all meet up and go on a date 💓
I messed up one week into the breakup. I'm scared I'll never heard from her again but your videos help me get onto the path to growth. I'm starting out but I want to get myself back. Anxiety is hurting me now but with your videos I'm gonna do the work
CabVideoz did she texted you back after all?
Update?
Update???
can somebody pls properly explain to me how feelings change all the time, yet arent supposed to fade in no contact ???
My ex told me today that if we didn't talk for a while she would just forget about me and move on. She said "it's too long of a break, once we get time away from each other, the connection is gone and that's it...it's over, I wouldn't feel it anymore and won't want to talk to you when you come back because I just wouldn't be interested, I'd have moved on emotionally. That's part of life, getting over someone and moving on. When it's done it's done, that's it". And I know she's being legit because she did it with her other exes too. She "stops feeling it" after a certain time away. She's not like regular girls, with her the more time she's around someone the more she likes them. Once she gets space away she stops being interested. It was true in our relationship too, the more I texted her to do things the more she texted me to do things. If we got into a fight and I pulled away a bit, she would just be disinterested for a while until I picked up the pace again, then she'll start being interested again. She's the kind of girl that if you tried to cut her off, she'd text you maybe the first day, then would never text you again and wouldn't waste any time in moving on from you. She's very emotionally centered and grounded, and has a lot of self love. She knows she doesn't need a relationship, and she's perfectly happy being alone. She's never drank, never smoked and never had sex (before she had sex with me I mean), those are choices that she makes on her own by disciplining herself. No Contact is NOT gonna work on her. I just feel really stuck because I'm in a situation where she still likes spending time with me a lot and I like it too, I'm in love with her, but she doesn't wanna be in a relationship with me anymore. And I know if I do No Contact with her she's just gonna never reach out to me again because she's done it before with other guys. She's just that kind of girl. if you don't stick around she's not gonna chase you, she has too much self respect for that, she just moves on.
She's basically telling you to not wait too long to contact her if you want to get back together. Women want the man to make the first move.
Move on.
update?
Sorry to hear that. My ex is the same way. These type of things gets your mind f*cked up… I’m still going through it after a month and I just want you to know that you’re not alone. We’re in this together. Time wil heal and we will see the light one day.
Time to time I'm still thinking of him :)
We have no contact since the 1st day of break up 13 years ago
Iam from Germany and found those Videos... Great Work.
I was four years in a relationship with a women and we had a strong bond and so much history together.
In the last few months she changed and I think her feelings where not at the highest level..She started to do a lot a alone and didn't acted like i knew her.
I realized it too late and became needy, scared and jealous for some reasons.
I wasn't comfortable anymore and scared to loose her because I wanted to marry her at that point of time and that was in the back of my head.
I acted stupid and pushed her more more and more away from me and she saw mistakes in everything I did at that point.
Now we broke up few weeks ago and i said I respect and accept that and began with NC...in the end she said se was surprised with my reaction and maybe that's a mistake to break up but at the point she sees no future.
Iam focusing now on myself and whatever happens with us I will be ready for the future !!!
Thanks Craig
Und wie läuft es jetzt Dennis?
I have had 3 serious relationships in my life. The one I believe to be the one just broke up with me. I’m devastated but, I implemented NC from day one.
Thinking back on my previous relationships I realised when we broke up, they always came back, or I went back, until it we realised it was just unhealthy to be on/off. We are still friends til this day.
Thinking back on guys I dated for a short period of time, I am still friends with the ones that touched my heart and quite possibly, something could start up again if I wanted to. I caught up with one of them yesterday, he told me that a small birthday gesture I did for him, stayed with him until this day and he will never forget it. It was nice that I’m still being remembered and we only dated a few months. If you have been together long, they will never forget you. It all depends on how it ended and whether the relationship was good or bad
You are driving the msg straight and hard through my thick stubborn skull
I am getting it
Margret is so wise... I’ve always been cool and not nasty and most girls come back to me it’s common sense stick to your morals and watch ......
I went though 7 months of no contact and she called me last week. She's having serious problems with the guy she jumped into dating right after me and the time I spent with her brought every ounce of those feelings came back. She told me things I've wanted to hear for the last 7 months and as soon as she did, she had my heart again, but she went back to him after I gave her my time and opened up to her again. She flipped a 180 and blew me off for her abusive new boyfriend and friends.
My opinion: Relationships and poeple are horseshit and the only way you don't get hurt (especially if you're a sentimental sort) is don't get attached. You will feel like you lost everything and is torture.
My advice: Put up a wall, shut and lock the door, then put another wall behind that door. Listen to NF and when you move on, never look back.
I AGREE!!!
Agree fully
Can i ask how long your relationship was, Short or long term?
Update? Please
It's been 8 months I still rlly wish I could understand or hear from her I am moving g forward but damb it's hard
Double down on personal growth!
@@CoachCraigKenneththanks Craig I've been doing it for awhile I did a coaching with you in March i know you probably dont remember but i was the kid that started crying during the phone call i want to do another one in the future
@@fruithat2756 dont wait...i stop thinking they will come back...FTS...It has been 1 year for me now..not all ex comes back.
@@pa.5045 I am not going out and seeing woman a lot more successes than I expect but when they talk about more I nope out
You got this!
Just came across your videos for the 1s time. I recently in just last 3 days have had a breakup. I've not reached out to him at all. It's rough. I'm doing it. I'm giving him the space. Was a 2half yr relationship and very wonderful. It was a breakup that happened over a disagreement and sudden . We literally had an amazing relationship.
Is there an update on this?
I honestly don't say another word to my ex's because they got their one chance and fucked up so I don't waste my life allowing someone else to create mental health issues and people are creatures of habit so guaranteed that it going to be the same thing just different day.
My FA ex just reached out at 2am VIA text as was our usual communication. I
broke up with them February, they contacted me a month later saying how
they missed me. I replied nicely and basically said the lack of
communication broke us and no relationship can survive with out it. They
replied "no worries take care" then at 2am last night (which would be 3
1/2 months after their last text) messaged again. Need to ignore it for
me. It is not in my personality to ignore people but I have been
healing so well. I was a secure and turned anxious in that relationship.
1st time in my life and stuck around for 1 year - it was really too
much for me to understand. THEY DO REACH OUT and she is stubborn. hope
she gets the help she needs. (i have copied my comment in other videos)
15:20 Gosh I sure hope not as well, but this is all the proof I need to know that it probably would. My ex had *literally* texted me saying, "Just know if you get into an accident and end up in the hospital, I'd immediately go book a plane ticket to go see you." I mean is that really what it takes?? Lol.
Hey guys! Thank you so much for all the videos you make, I've been watching them a lot recently as I am in a similar situastion to kangaroo-guy, where I feel my boyfriend is valuing his 15 yo teenage son more than our relationship. We are not married, have been living together for 4 years but he is not making any steps into the marriage direction. He is visiting his son every single day, sometimes even twice a day, no exception and it's too much for me... Can you please make a video and talk about prioritising relationships and balancing this stuff? I can't find anything on this topic, where the girlfriend's position is taken into account too...
Thank you so much! Love the both of you ❤
Doing the work now. I’m excited. I feel a weight lifted
I do think the NC is really THE opportunity for the personal groewht. The rest, in my view, is an add on. I am really working on my own, also by seeing a psychologist. I think about her less and less, also because I think I need to take care of myself. Thanks for your great videos Craig, from an Italian to an Italian ;)
Yes, it fades.. especially after they have hurt u.. I go through 2 or 3 days of what ifs but then after that I'm good..and move forward..
I broke up with my ex of 5 years and never missed him. He about gave me a stroke and raged at me everyday and was abusive. F that. I moved on
Good for you. Screw raging abusers
I think this video applies more to no DV/abusive relationships and ones were there is still feelings involved. Also good on you! that can be a super hard thing to do
maybe it's just me that really cared a lot for him. Oh well...😁 I'm just going to choose to be happy everyday!
Craig, I can't understand how someone could have dumped you! . lol. You crack me up with that " hand written letter, and the grand gesture". Can't get enough of that. I'nm trying to figure out how to translate that to Spanish, lol
Hey Coach Craig and Margaret, love your videos! Can you do a video about your ex (the dumper) NOT being on dating apps after the break up? There was no build up to the break, it was a rough, fast break up. My friends who my ex never met or knew are not seeing him on dating apps either, and is in no contact with me now. Kind of certain my ex only has one pair of shoes and is walking around barefoot. ;) Thanks!
I ran into my ex today 4 months after the break up and she didn't even respond to me when I said hi. Just shows I'm in the power position and that CLEARLY she's not settled, moved on or got over me at all otherwise she would have responded! Do not be scared of this they can't forget you ever
I think you are fooling yourself. She didn't respond because she isn't interested and knew if she said hi back you would have been all over her so she purposely blanked you. Only because an ex won't forget you doesn't mean they still love you or have any feelings for you. I know all of this sounds negative but it's the truth and the sooner you move on and find someone new the better and happier you will be.
Peace
@@MrEvilWasp I know this girl and I know that I'm not overanalyzing when I say her ass is hurt because I LEFT HER like I broke up with her that's the thing here and just because I'm like "I found myself and I'd talk to her if she wanted to" now she's acting like she broke up with me and childish bs like that so tbh I'm moving on but I'd not mind talking to her whatsoever and dw I can take "negative vibes" bro you're just being real I appreciate that! And you're right but just saying after a few years feelings don't fade in 3/4 months especially not with this girl because I was her first relationship and she's was literally hooked on me like I was a drug hahaha
@@hgzmatt 15 months later. She found another guy but blocked me from everything. she dropped out of school and lost her job LOL I'm just glad I left
@@hgzmatt I don't blame anything on her but you are not in my situation. She turned me into a black sheep. She tried turning my friends against me. I have 0 respect for her
Any update??
It's been 3 months since and we haven't said a word to each other since I miss her and still love her but I'm doing my best trying to respect her decision that she doesn't want to with me. i haven't talked to her I'm not trying to ruin her life anymore then i already have
Any update please???
Work Work Work......I am ready if my ex comes back... in fact more then ready [grin] Great video very insightful! Thank you, Margaret and Craig.,
I followed your program and I have to say it absolutely works thank you so much I went no contact because I was tired of the way he was treating me I felt he was taking me for granted and his mood swings were difficult to deal with I had enough so when he said he needed space I took advantage of it I went no contact not only did I go no contact I took a month-long vacation far away so that he couldn't just drive by knock on my door come in and look for me at my house I was gone really gone.lol
He was making contact with family members asking about me about 3 days after I had went no contact and everybody said they didn't know where I was at whether he believed them or not he continued to send messages and I did not respond to anything I didn't get on social media he even emailed me I blocked his phone number when he called he could leave messages but his number wouldn't show up while he was off feeling sorry for himself and missing me and realizing how he had treated me I was off in South America having the time of my life enjoying the beach when I came home after the 30 days I saw him in the same grocery store as I was in he tried to come up and talk to me I walked right past him as if I didn't even know who he was I know that probably hurt him a bit but I just wasn't ready to talk with him yet I continue grocery shopping and I left I noticed he was standing by my car he was talking to me then I put the groceries in my car walk pass him got in and drove off and continue to act as if I didn't even know he was existing the reason I did this is so many times in the past when we were together he would ignore my messages my questions he would ignore me and it was very hurtful and disrespectful and he would go silent on me and I know that's also a sign of emotional abuse does he love me I've still not sure to this day I am now on 95 days no contact and he's still trying to get in touch with me thank you so much for all you do keep the great work up
Letty Gonzalez Only way to know if he’s changed is to start spending time with him- allow him in your life slowly and see if he demonstrates change. Actions demonstrate change- not words. Time is the best test.
I watch a lot of these videos over and over. I lashed out and said so much stupid stuff. I'm approaching 11 weeks. I honestly feel this would be the greatest success story if mine comes back at this point. I watch your videos daily,read books on relationships and rekindled alot of old friendships and I'd like to think God Intended this to happen other wise the rekindled relationships would never of happen. I hope he will ease my pain soon and bring me back what I still consider to be the love of my life.
Did y’all ever get back?
@@oomorboo1 no sir. Never heard a peep from her again. Found someone else at the gym. It turned out for the best. Looking back i now realize my ex lifestyle and mine and how she was as a whole just wasn't for me. Takes time and finding someone great to realize things
RIP Coach Margaret!!!!
"2a.m. and 5a.m" what in the hell?! No way I'm picking up the phone at that time. Dude was thirsty and needy as hell. So weak...
Thanks for all the knowledge and the work I really appreciate everything you teach.
My biggest fear is she moves on without me. I was abandoned as a child by my mother. I think my childhood has added to this crisis I'm in.
She’s with another guy. But was texting me asking about something she thought she left at my house. Told her I think I threw it away but good luck with him.
Two weeks later. She asks me if I found that stuff. Lol. But then went in to telling me about dating the new guy. That she knows it’ll work out. He’s the one. I said is that why you’ve messaged me twice asking about a bra? Lol. Back to no contact.
Women will always do things in return to lash against you. She’s typical.
PanchoPlant
She sent an email again yesterday. Just to bitch at me lol. She can’t or won’t let go
yzwoody tell her you are seeing someone at this moment and prefer if she didn’t contact you... see what she says lol bet you anything she will try to be in your life out of jealousy
Update???
@@akshaykumar-ex4bc
I’ve moved on to much better things. People don’t change. Moving on is almost always better
Speaking from personal experience every break up is different cause I called my girlfriend after 4 days cause we both couldn’t last 30 days without each other. I told her about the no contact rule she told me she would personally come to kill me if I waited that long lol
@@fj4731 she’s gone bro
@@mukumbosimpito1571 you both broke up again??
Mine do. If I'm not talking to you, you did something horrible to me, and I don't want to talk to you anymore. Why is everyone obsessed with their ex? They're your ex for a reason. Just like my grandma said, "Just move on, and don't look back. Your future isn't behind you. Never look back. "
tosca donna
I understand where you are coming from
In why would we want our Ex’s back
For me
I’ve really tried too move on and date but sadly I’ve had no luck what so ever
I can’t get past the first date
And if I get a phone number
Nothing ever happens
So I feel like I’m not wanted by someone new
So my only option is too try and get our Ex back
I know it’s a really sad situation
But it’s how I feel 😌
My ex did nothing horrible to me he lost his job and left the country things were going great until this happened
You're so original...
Coach, can you do a video about Exes deleting/deactivating their social media presence completely?
I did it as the dumpee. I just wanted to work on myself without the intrusive distracton. I can enjoy life without worrying about seeing what everyone else is up to.
best guy I got dumped two weeks ago and that’s the course of action I took. It literally came down to the fact that every time I went on social media, I had no willpower and would start frequently checking her Instagram, seeing the new people she followed, what posts she was liking. It was toxic for me and just making things worse on my end. I would rather have time to work on myself and move on so that when I do return to social media, I no longer have this obsessive attachment to her. It just hurts too much right now to even look at
@@Chalaxandler update ? Did she come back eventually ?
Y’all are my favorite hype squad 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I would NOT be impressed with a man who told me 'NOW you're the woman I want to be with.'
Hopefully women like u are in minority. And hope real women do exist.
Absence does not make the heart grow fonder.
Absence makes the heart wander.
I seriously can’t believe my feelings are not waning after over a year after the breakup. Just when I think I’m over it in comes another thought that leads to another dozen that then lead to dozens and the same cycle on and on. She hasn’t reached out to me in 6 months and I still have a hidden hope she will call me. But hopes are not high.
I never contacted him after the breakup I just wanna hug Margaret
How are you now?
My ex never loved me, he was just playing with my heart... so he can just stay away, after all, he walked away without a word....
Sounds like a narcissist. U dodged a bullet.
You guys give me so much hope, thank you so much! But i know nothing is written.
Craig and Margaret I went no contact with my ex narcissist i had to change my number i gave my ex too many chances he never changed thank yous so much for your videos💙💖
Coaches but the reality is if the ex is on social media talking and flirting with other people they are not going to be thinking about their ex and they will forget about them. It's logical the feeling will fade away because their mind is being occupied and replaced with another person. So if during no contact the ex is talking or flirting with someone else, the chances of getting back together are 0 because one screw replaces another
but they will be constantly comparing you to the new person and if they arent better their are going to be problems especially if you made them feel really special
Trying to replace instantly gonna backfire...cuz, when the ilusions fade, u will come back in thei mind, stronger then before...
Its way better to adress all the pain and frustration when u feel it so u can move on from that, insted of hiding and hooking around and then BOOM...u cant move on that fast!!!
* . *
@@munirazaira5465 my ex and I broke up last month and he's back with his ex. The woman he was with 2 yrs before me... So what does that tell u? 🤔
@@Chrissybell1210 sorry, its seems like you are a rebound...not sure...when u two started the relationship, they broke up for how long???
* . *
@@munirazaira5465 when we started dating they had been broken up for 2 yrs so I wasn't the rebound
Craig I don't think my ex will reach out. He was adamant that he didn't want me anymore. He said some very hurtful things. They will stop him reaching out.
Tebogo Pilane update???
Update???
Update please
Whoa......What a insightful video. You folks are the best!
You really helped me a whole lot today Coach keith. I married with 3 Kids. And im financially not able to separate at the moment, but i used some of your tools and they instantly worked.
Hi, thanks for your great and informative presentations. I have what I believe is a difficult situation.
I believe my wife suffers from Borderline personality disorder. I have studied and conferred with professionals for hundreds of hours before I came to this conclusion.
So. Nothing works with a BPD. I have so much resentment, hundreds of un validated un resolved feelings. Thousands of in complete conversations. We have the same fight every couple days for seven years now.
She has betrayed me like no one ever has, she is disrespectful, not present for life, I give she takes, I love she hates I smile she frowns. She has destroyed all of my security in love and in being vulnerable. She marginalizes my musical talents and trys to drown it out with the vacuum. Unless it's about what might be for dinner. She lies about everything. She tells the whole world that I am a monster. I have sacrificed almost all that I have and all that is me to try and make her whole. and I am slandered and blamed for all of her faults.
WTF?
I know her patterns yet I keep taking get back hoping that this time she is sincere and will stop her reign of terror.
This sounds like my husband
Only you are given her the power all this time; you have attachment style and needs to work on self love and detachment on people that are not treating you with respect. You only have the key to change it; remember broken people don’t like happy or successful; they have hatred of their own misery and don’t want others to have it good, if they don’t!! Love yourself and find yourself in you and no one will stumble on you!!
He told my cousin he messed up but told my brother in law he was happy.
Where in FL are you located? Looking for a therapist possibly.
8:30 FYI, around the 45 day mark; the „dark limerence“ ( = hormomes that bring the separation anxiety like cortisol, adrenaline and so on, so the complete opposite of limerence when you fall in love) reach their peak.
Mine and my ex's feelings have faded. We were able to reconnect and find closure after 5 months but the both of us have moved on at this point and I do finally feel content with no reconciliation.
You comment this stuff on every video about break ups clearly your just trying to kid yourself you’ve moved on, otherwise you wouldn’t still be watching these videos
@@batbro6549 Sure, my heart is still healing and I am definitely still in the process of recovery. Thus, I still watch break up videos. Thankfully, I am feeling much better these days because of communities and videos like Kenneth's.
This no-contact is not easy. My ex-after a few weeks is having panic attacks. He stated that my emotional support has been so valuable to him. He misses me for the emotional connection. I hope we both do the work during separation so we can be stronger, together.
I am more then ready now if he comes back..?.. I will continue the work on myself that will never end. I enjoy watching myself grow better and stronger. [And I am healing too]. Thanks to you both.
Be sure to go through the workbooks every day!
Update?
The only time my ex made initial contact was over Christmas night
That’s it !
It’s coming up too 11 months since our break up
I’m the silly one that keeps breaking NC
She told me back in April
After going in NC for 100 days
That she is happy too go away with me again
However she never reaches out too me
It’s always me that Breaks it
She is very happy too hear from me but often days she’s busy
So now I’m in NC day 12 today!
I’m 46 yes old and I really can’t seem too let go as I’m finding it really hard too find someone that wants too be with me
I get rejected all the time
I get Phone numbers but nothing never adventurates
I just feel like I’m. Not wanted 😩
Rebekah Tinker
Thankyou very much
It means a lot too me
I would love too help other people too
I do need you work on myself more
In regards too my Ex
I don’t let on that I’m in pain
I really try too stay cool and fun!
I do my best too get on with my life as I go too Gigs head out and abt
Chat too new people
I’ve even tried Online dating a few times
Only too no Prevail
I get one meet up and then that’s it
Now I’ve joined a social
Outing group and become a member so let’s see what happens 👍🏻
He never had feelings for me to start with, the whole relationship and very brief marriage was all an act on his behalf.... i didnt about the word " narcissist" or what it meant but i've listened to a lot of videos and they have been spot on and described him down to a T.
Hi Coach Craig , and Coach Margaret !! Your video's sure make me feel good when I'm down , Thank You both . I have been married to my wife for 19 years , and she separated from me going on 2 years . I'm just misserable . Is there any chance of her taking another look at me again and wanting me back ? Should I just give up , Thank You , Sincerely Broken Hearted .
mark faber did she come back?
No , its all over now probably im afraid to say i give up ty
My ex of 4 months just reached out to me. There is a particular day that is very hard for him and his family. He reached out (indirect/direct) the night before it and the day of. I responded and both days we chatted off and on. I just moved and we talked about that a lot. I kept it positive. He is with a rebound but I don’t get the feeling it’s a very good relationship. I saw them at something recently and there was no chemistry. He never held her hand and never introduced her to anyone. It still hurt so bad to see. But I find it interesting that when a really hard day for him emotionally came around he reached out to me. He spent the last two years with me on that day. He said he was alone when we talked. But my friend told me he rebound was over the day after. Again that hurts. I hope I handled this right. I’m going back into no contact now and will wait for him to contact me again
What if you both are watching no contact videos and both trading the breakup the same? How much would that hurt the chance of getting back together and in what way?
Do you have a video on when they do finally call how do you act? What shoukd we say ir not say?
Coach Craig every time I hear you give me hope and relax me, thou I feel in my case this person does want to not feel anything for me so we could be friends. I am just scared that I might never have a romantic relationship with him at all.
Update???
@@dwightschrute8141 Sure, So after some time and working on myself, I realized that my last relationship was very toxic and really nothing to look forward to. Right now I am dating a person who looks like a good match for me and I think might be a good fit for a fulfilling relationship. So, in the end, I think I am happy I no longer want something with my ex. =)
Cheating husband looks like he is filing a divorce after 3 weeks of no contact. He sent messages and called me everyday once he said he missed me and he couldn't sleep....but he got no reply from me. What is in his mind? It sounds he is filing a divorce in his last message telling me that it gives him depression and anxiety. But I really have decided not to go back to him anymore. His lies and hidings hurt and damaged me a lot. I hope he realized what he had done to me.
My ex contacted me yesterday after 3 weeks of NC just “to check on me” I replied with I’m doing good! I hope you are doing well. He replied with I’m managing thank you. But it ended there. :/ what does this mean??
Most dumpers want to be chased after the breakup to feel wanted. Probably messed with his ego when you went NC. He could be having second thoughts, stay in NC and see if he reaches out with something meaningful
DJC DJC Problem is what if meeting up only leads to hooking up and they aren’t willing to go any further in the relationship?
Same situation with me. I went NC for 3 months and he messaged me just to check up on me and asked me how i've been. I replied that I was doing well and I was overall being polite and confident. He said he was doing good as well. Our conversation also ended right there. I didn't really understand the point in messaging me after 3 months of no contact/radio silence just to text me 3 words and then stop again.
Update???
Is separation anxiety still a good idea when they broke up with you after you neglected them for 8 months due to a bad period of your life, giving little affection, they moved out of town and got new friends? Wouldnt it be counter-productive to go NC, reinforcing their idea that you will keep leaving them just like you did before? They still talk to me everyday about their general life.
霜降りQuon Show you’ve changed.
This video has given me hope. I now going back to my ex wife is not my option, but it does give me a sign of hope for my ex-girlfriend or even a girl I was talking to and was very interested in. The second girl was not ready to start a relationship just yet so she kindly said she was unfriending me on snapchat but she did show me she took a screen shot of my username name so she could re add me later. As much as I wish I could talk to her more I am respecting her wishes and doing my best to not post anything starting today. Because I was unfriended but not locked so I know she could still look if she wanted too. Just like she has cut down on post on her end. I guess time will tell on who I will end up with.