Were you able to enjoy the holidays with family and friends despite the breakup? How did the holidays impact you? Did they make things easier? Or did they make things tougher? Margaret and I are curious if holidays make things harder or easier during a breakup? Let us know your experiences
Hey Craig! One quick question! Does no contact work even after I said I would contact him when I am in better place after I got rejected reconciliation with him?
In general, my holidays were nice, but I still am suffering a bit after my breakup, even though it's been over a year. But yesterday I finished the workbooks 1-5 and started on 6, I go running 3 times a week, eat better and in general, I'm in an excellent position. But I still do miss her. Btw, no reach out from her since September, where she never responded after I answered to her initial reach out... I guess I'm better off WITHOUT someone like that in my life. Still my brain and heart disagree. Thank you for your amazing work and support, I was so happy to see you posted a new video today! 😃
Coach Craig Kenneth Ex did not reach out on the holidays, neither on my birthday. It did not matter so much to me. I am concentrate on me. Love you and Margret. ❤️
I think i need your help dude. And i think yOU have the knowledge to figure things out. My ex and I broke up 2 years ago i feel the pain ofcourse (she left me for someone else and i think because i have low salary and the guy has lot of money ) for how many months im focusing more on my personal growth like going to kickboxing classes, working my ass off. After that i already moved on. Now she is pregnant i feel the pain again. What should i do? 😢
Message to dumpers, If you’re having second thoughts don’t wait to long to reach out. I know you think we (the dumpees) will be pining away waiting for you to contact us but be warned, with each passing day we get stronger and less emotional and we start to realise we can live without you. If there’s doubt anywhere in your hearts then act on it because your window of opportunity is closing. Love, The dumpees
same with the person dumped. if dumpers can move on same those dumped. there are so many fishes in the ocean. life is so simple. why make it complicated by breaking it apart and wait for the dumped to move towards the dumpers in the first place. When I was dumped, the no contact rule was effective in moving on and not on winning the dumper. dumpers remember this. If a man or woman is with high value and with a sense of dignity. Once they realized that they can live without the dumper, then they will start welcoming other better opportunities in life.
This is very true, and thanks for the accurate and sincere input. I've decided to cut her off and not come back, after taking time to think about it. The feeling of doubt would instead be feeling mourning of loss, thankfully.
And a little PS for the dumpers: If you really mean business and realized how bad you screwed up…for Pete’s sake lead with humility and A SINCERE apology.
Im going to start going back to the gym. I’ll use all this pain and suffering in working out instead of wasting it at home crying over someone who doesn’t care about me anymore. I’m going to turn into Arnold 2.0. Stay tuned.
Jason that’s what i did. back to the gym, lost 25 lbs and i can’t wait to walk past him whenever i get the chance and flaunt!!! it’s been 6 weeks for me and you can do it!,
After he ended things I told him that if he truly cared about me he’d never contact me again so I can move on this time. Will no contact still work in this case?
@@becoming_kara Wow I told my ex the same thing. Only i just said that I didn’t believe in comunication after break up. I’m in week 6 of nc. Some one out there, any suggestions?
@@fernmiranda914 I suggest you stay in nc. If someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them! Actions speak volumes. I’m missing the best of what we shared, yet, with each passing day, seeing more clearly that he did me a huge favor. We both grew & learned from each other. Some people stay for a season, others a lifetime. It’s normal life journey. I’ve heard it said, “ the right one stays “. 🤷♀️
@@jasonkwilliamson unreal brother. It hurts when they become cold strangers. Then the next one, they have sex with, eventually, sometimes even after the first time, they feel emotion and doubt. They feel it , they feel you. You're not there to protect them, this is for more 5+ years but it happens. I even felt regret once after sex with someone else
Me too. One full year. He reached out last time. Doesn't matter anymore. I'm just fine. He's moved on and so have I. I love my new self. No anxiety...no worrying about being alone. I like the single life now. It's quite fun at times. No rules. Cheers to you🎉
I would LOVE to hear the entire Appleby's girl story. Did Coach Craig do a video about her? I hear all the references to her, but can't find the story!
@@MoniDmajor Me too! Ok, Coach Craig. By popular demand, we want to hear the Appleby's story!! I'm sure you and Margaret would be able to tell this in your usual funny way! Please???
You know what Craig? Been 11 months since the break up and it took me a long time to move on... still working on getting my great wonderful self back. She didn’t reach out during the holidays and neither did I. And I am thankful for that. Yes I am. Because this year is a fresh new start for me. It‘s over, it’s done. Maybe she is coming back, maybe not. Who cares? What I have learned is to focus on myself and the greater my energy is the greater people I attract into my life. This is MY time to shine again and to get someone even way better than my ex. Someone keeping up with my hot ass 😜 Everyone can make it. It‘s a very long road but you‘re not walking alone. We are all in the same boat. So let’s make this ride exciting and amazing. Peace!
I have an avoidant attachment style and I know it sucks for those who date us because we're hard to understand and we can be hurtful, but trust me, we don't mean to be. Working on the workbooks has helped me understanding why I'm struggling with intimacy and I'm now able to soothe my own anxiety. I can also identify what triggers it precisely. My ex and I are casually dating at the moment and things are going great. I'd say I have a fair chance at getting him back. Avoidants can change when they want to :) thank you so much Craig and Margaret!
I would also like to add that I did reach out to an ex-boyfriend after several months of no contact in the past, but also to a few close friends I had pushed away. Avoidants do reach out to people they deeply care about. I did the whole indirect - direct approach thing myself 😂 We're not hopeless 😉
When someone suddenly leaves, says he’s happier without me, I will NEVER allow him back into my life. And I’m a very forgiving person. I couldn’t imagine life without him. He obviously felt completely opposite. Do I miss what we shared? Absolutely. HE left me. Actions speak volumes. I’m practicing self-love, self-respect. I’m working on myself, reading books, listening to coaching, journaling and continuing to spend time visiting my loving, accepting family & friends. People who choose to stay in my life in spite of my quirks and because of my uniqueness. If someone shows you who they are the first time…. Believe them.
DISAGREE: it depends; No contact only works if you had a relationship with someone, if you're dating a guy and he stopped messaging you or you do not contact on him, he's never going to contact you back. No contact, however, DOES 100% work if you had a relationship with someone. I did no contact twice, the first time he contacted me 9 months after, then we dated again and everything went back to the (toxic) way it was. Then did no contact again, this time it took him over a year to contact me but he's still the same him negative person, while I've become a high value gal thanks to coaches like Craig and Margaret ♥️👍. No more toxic exes, next please
@@ricgonmar exactly. No contact always makes your ex come back, but not flings or dates (from my experience). Even an ex bf from 5+ years ago reached out to me. They aaaaalways come back.
@@ricgonmar I think you're Portuguese or Brazilian so: meu Deus! Haven't you learnt anything from coach Craig? No contact doesn't make any sense if you do it for a week and then ask her out again,. She has to miss you and feel like you've moved on, right now she feels that she is in control . Let her contact you, let her come to you about your son/her daughter. Do NOT ask her out again! You see, when you do No Contact, the other person starts to worry because you are mysterious, and they don't know what you're up to. She will think 'oh no, Ricardo found another girl!'. She will start missing the time you had together and will indirect direct contact you. You need patience my friend
I haven’t talked to my ex in 3 months. I have moved on & so has he. I have learned so much from this breakup & the personal growth has made me a happier, healthier person
@14:42 Being in the middle of horrendous hearbreak after a 7 year relationship and hearing margaret say "you're not that forgettable, and you're not that unloveable....." i broke down...
Erika K hey I’ve been in no contact with my ex for around over a week and a couple days ago she reached out to say happy birthday, do you think it would be appropriate if I told her to have a great day before school tomorrow she starts her second semester of college and I don’t want her to think I forgot about her or moved on, should I give her a text saying hey hope you have a good week at school or should I stay in no contact, but I don’t plan on having a conversation with her just telling her to have a good day at school
Best advice ever. I ignored my ex over the holidays. Got a new job. Ensured I updated LinkedIn. Sure enough messages came flying in. Posted up fun photos with friends on Facebook made them public. She went nuts. Did I take her back? Hell no. Just ignore your ex guys, as hard as it is. It works a charm. Thanks for this great video
I hope you're right it's been almost six months he has kept her pictures on Instagram reads my stories but I have only done one month no contact before I was begging and pleading for almost 5 months so I hope you're right on that and hopefully eventually he'll come back home how long did it take for you to get your person back you wanted
The holidays made my ex realized every thing he put me through. I am very thankful I found your channel early last year when he ghosted me. We were together for 2 and half years. Just after a year, with NO CONTACT and just watching your videos and improving my self -- he reached out to me. We met and had lunch and had a good talk. Night time came, and he called me again being so sorry and is hinting to start things again with me. I am not sure anymore, as he didn't changed at all. I just wish him the best. Thank you so much Coach Craig and Margaret. I will continue to listen to your videos.
be careful..ones who have not changed end up being apologetic and will burn you in a shorter time than they did the first time around (they have too many triggers and issues not related to you). Remember, you come first in your life. Do what is best for you and don't sacrifice your happiness for crumbs of what you deserve.
I’ve been there and though they are complimentary and apologetic at first they have not changed, for the better anyway. Think about all the change You went through just to get him to have lunch. Do you think he went through changes to try to get your attention?
@@maddipage1347 Yeah I think so. Since I really stayed away from him as far as possible and I did not bother him in any way. I feel bad for what happened to him but that doesn't mean I want him back as well. I may not know what I want now, but I do know what I don't want. It's like he wants me to fix him again, and when he's okay already, he will leave again.
I'm the dumper. Watching these videos and learning about attachment styles has taught me a lot about who I am and how my relationship of 4 years got to the point it did. I realized because of my past traumas due to upbringing, family issues, and caregiving for my mom that was diagnosed with brain cancer when I was 21 has lead me me to be an anxious avoidant. I would lash out in arguments, and my way of solving it was threatening to break up even though I knew that's not what I wanted, but subconsciously that was my brain's way of coping and "solving" the issues. If there were inconveniences, I couldn't bring myself to just calm down and work through them and I thought getting mad about it would somehow make it better. Granted there were times where if I just focused I could handle it fine, but it felt like I had to really weed out the thoughts that made me just want to go off the deep end. Deep down inside I knew I wanted to marry her, but when she'd ask me about marriage it triggered me to avoid talking about it, but when I was alone doing my own thing, I'd find myself thinking about our wedding, imagining her name with my last name, where and how I would propose and so on. I still think about her all the time and I haven't stopped loving her any less. If anything, realizing what I could have done differently makes me love her more. It's been about 6 months and originally we were talking as friends for a little while, but as time went on it got really rocky. We've been in no contact now for about a month and she has apparently moved on with someone else. I regret everything I did, and it's the toughest thing since my mom passing realizing now the things I could have changed if I just recognized it more, and realizing just how much she means to me. I wonder if she still thinks about me 😔
For those that are experiencing no contact, let me tell you it works! both ways, for you and to let your ex miss you. Over a year later our breakup, she came back apologizing for everything she thinks did wrong and with full intentions clear to get back together. She's been in a relationship with a guy that treated her horribly compared to me. She said that she did try to make it work all this time, but could not help comparing him to me and how well I used to treat her. She did not forget me at all, which completely different of how I used to think she was without me. I wasn't expecting her to be back and I wasn't waiting, but now it is up to me to decide what happens. She did noticed all my changes and all she says is that she sees the value in my and she is proud of what i have accomplished.
I'm a textbook avoidant. These videos as well as my recent experience with my ex are helping me realize that my avoidant responses are just defense mechanism I've developed out of fear and they are actually counterproductive. Actively working hard to push myself out of my comfort zone and change these deep seeded habits.
epicbehavior I’m really glad to hear this. My bf has gone on a break with me (to figure out what he wants) I’ve just learnt about attachment styles and he’s very avoidant bc he has mental health issues and just needs to be alone to figure stuff out and doesn’t know if he can be in a relationship. I’m praying we get back together and he still sends me memes and stuff, which I’m taking as a good sign. How long did it take for it to work for you? We’ve been on break for about 5 days now
My boyfriend has this avoidant attachment he has never been married and women in and out living with him. He just lets go like it doesn't bother him. so I been a bit worried he will not contact me. It's been 10 days I'm a bit sad that he wont contact me.
@@jh5588 Can you please explain why (not)? I´ve dated an avoidant who said that he does not miss his exes and never have. Is that it? Would you not contact an ex even if you missed her? Tell us more:)
I was a fearful avoidant before I started learning about myself and using self-awareness to heal. Your channel has been so incredibly helpful on my journey. Craig and Margaret, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and hope.
An avoidant from two years ago reached out right before Christmas. I responded "who is this?". I will never, ever contact him again. I have a more recent avoidant who I also will never give another opportunity to. They are so damaged, and I will not ever put myself in that position again. I love myself way too much to subject myself to their nonsense again.
2 years now and i never contacted my ex in any way and neither did he. proud of myself tho, i had weak moments where i thought i needed him but i just needed 'someone' for comfort. thanks for all your great advices, they really helped! x
You guys are so great together. I think you guys really help all of us to look at the ex's perspective from a psychological standpoint. No contact makes perfect sense to me now, and it WORKS! You and Margaret definitely know your stuff and are speaking from wisdom and experience, so thank you very much!
On my first day I didn’t want to watch these because they were really long but on my first week of my breakup ( never begged or pleaded just accepted it) and only wanted to hear what I wanted to hear. while I was walking I listened to Margaret and Kenneth and they help soooo much 4 months no contact because of you GUYS!! I’m so happy. I keep telling myself to ignore them if they like you they will come to you but it’s better to hear it from an expert. 30 days is foolish and stupid. It’s not long enough. It’s enough to make them think about you a lot. But not want to get back together that’s where these experts get it mixed up. But I love love love these videos. I’m happier now and I don’t care if he texts me or not thank you so much for making these!!!!
I’m 24 and I was broken up with about 2 months ago. After this I had to reflect a lot about what was wrong. I came across many excellent resources. Craig and Margaret the dating guy the love chat and topic ex. Many of them talked about attachment styles. I turns out my ex and I were the classic anxious avoidant trap. It sucks because I took the time to reflect and she went on a rebound I haven’t heard anything from her since then. I still miss and want her back but recently I’ve started focusing on myself. Like Margaret said we have to refocus our energy. As an avoidant I did a lot of work by reading attached watching videos and also spending time with myself. I’ve been reading a lot of other books and doing a lot of reflecting ie behavioral therapy and journaling. I miss her but like Margaret says I am not that forgettable my attachment style might need work but I’m sure no ones loved her more than I have. And in time, she’ll realize that despite my flaws, I was willing to work on this for as long as it took.
@@tr9809 me too, she told me she fell in love too fast as a couple of months before we started talking she had a 4 year relationship end. she told me she has severe depression and anxiety. im just confused as why she's gone because everything was so right. she would tell me if something was up. i think she wants to work on herself before being in a proper relationship.. i just dont know but we're in no contact and she has a jumper of mine that she wants still and i have 2 letters and a poetry book she had given me
My ex girlfriend is avoidant she split 4 times with me over our 2 year relationship I think I smothered her and she ran and came back,4 weeks later each time....but this time it's been 9 months and I'm not sure she cares anymore
After me and my ex broke up I felt like absolute shit but after seeing your videos I noticed that I'm doing the exact OPPOSITE of what I should be doing. Now that I'm listening and doing everything you say she's the one trying to start the conversations and not me. Thank you so much
I had no idea that I have an Avoidant attachment style until Coach Margaret helped me see myself more clearly. Now that I know more about attachment styles and I know myself better (Coach Craig’s videos, The Knowledge workbooks, Coach Margaret, etc), I look back at my life and I see the pattern. We Avoidants don’t know that we are pushing people away when we do it. It is not on purpose. We want love just as much as anyone else. But, just like the Anxious, we are unaware of the affect we have on those who love us. I am so glad that I now know and I have a course of action and am making the necessary changes. I am just so sorry that to finally reach this realization, I lost a woman I loved more dearly than anyone I have ever loved before. The question that haunts me most was when Coach Margaret asked me “do you think you pushed her away?” ...THUD!! It was at that moment...that very moment...when I realized...that it was me.
@D V I am no expert, but I would stick to what Coach Craig encourages us to do; stay in No Contact and hopefully she will come around eventually. In the meantime, work on yourself (many benefits to be gained). Also - and very importantly - allow yourself to grieve your loss. Don’t try to cover your grief with a rebound relationship or “hook ups”. Grief takes time to process and the deeper your love for the person, the longer your heart will need to grieve. Don’t try to push it, let your heart heal at it’s own pace. Work on becoming a better you and healing your heart. Hopefully, some day, she will sense what she gave up in you and will finally reach out to you. P.S. my ex never reached out to me...not once. Not everyone gets a second chance, but if you do get that chance, be ready and show her a better you the next time.
@D V Oh, no - on the contrary, she dumped me, DV. Broke my heart into a million pieces. I didn’t see it coming - though I should have. In looking back, I can recall numerous things she did or said which showed that she was questioning “us” and my love for her. But I felt confident (arrogant, maybe) that she felt the same way that I did; I thought I had finally found the woman I would be with for the rest of my days. Consequently, I took my eye off the prize and took her love and her presence in my life for granted. I am older than most here and have been through a marriage and several long-term relationships, but never before had I felt the sense of comfort and “permanence” that I felt with this woman. I didn’t recognize that she has an Anxious Attachment Style (Coach Margaret showed me that), and I overlooked her pleas for reassurance. She obviously wrestled with the decision for some time, but I was clueless. As Coaches Craig and Margaret teach us, by the time they have made the decision, it is too late to talk them out of it. But I tried! For the first two months after the break, I reached out to her 4 or 5 times via text and even sent her the dreaded “hand-written letter” (Ugh!!). I had not heard of Coach Craig or “No Contact” yet. At about the two-month mark she replied to one of my texts by telling me she “had met someone” and that I needed to move forward. I was shattered! Clearly she was rebounding to mask her pain. In the midst of my devastation, I found Coach Craig and learned about No Contact, and did not reach out to her again. I had a session with Coach Margaret 2 months later (~ 4 1/2 months after breakup). As I mentioned in my very first comment above (10 months ago, now), Coach Margaret enlightened me that I have an Avoidant attachment style and my lady-love has an Anxious attachment style. Previously, I would have thought the opposite, but Margaret revealed it to me and I now see the patterns (in both of us). Coach Margaret felt that as deeply as my ex had loved me, that she would reach out at some point. But now 1 1/2 years later, she has never reached out - not one time. Since learning about “No Contact” two months after the breakup, I have reached out twice - once by text, 7 months after the breakup, to wish her “Happy New Year”, and once by email, 6 months later (13 months after breakup). LinkedIn notified me that she had a new job, so I reached out via LinkedIn Mail to congratulate her. She replied each time with what could be termed a “cordial” and “polite” response of “Thank you, I hope you are doing well”. Nothing more, no questions about me, and no hint of any interest in any follow-up messages. I would love to hear from her, but at this point, the odds are certainly very low that she will reach out now. 18 months later, I go on occasional dates with other women. But I am not yet ready for another relationship. I still think of her and I still love her. My heart has not finished it’s grieving process over this one. Typically at the end of past relationships, I’m usually ready again after a few months. But as Coach Craig says “Every relationship is different, and every breakup is different.” This one was indeed special and my heart knows it. Some day, I’ll be ready to open up to another special woman again...but not quite yet.
No contact rule after a breakup is to help you buy making the person who broke up with you start to reminisce about you first it might be the negative points, the reasons that they felt they needed to leave or the lack of feeling. Whatever they think it is. But as they go on without you contacting them they also start thinking of the good times which will start negating the bad like on a scale the bad thoughts will go down and the good thoughts will go up. And then they start to think about you with things around them maybe something you gave them or songs you listen to or friends it might say dauntlessly house so-and-so but that's what should happen they should start to think about you and then they will miss you by comparing you to others and remembering what they're not getting. So listen to these professionals
Hi Coach Margaret and Coach Craig..thank you for this video. I am an avoidant aka “cookie” on one of your videos you did in 2016 as a response to her reaching out to you Craig. It’s been 3 years and I’ve been able to make improvements thanks to you.
It's taking everything in the world for me to not reach out to him. He broke up with me a week ago and I've been a wreck. I miss his face. We were long distance and would talked everyday single day for six months. I saw him in January, February and March. Then Covid came and now we can't get to each other. He ended us.
Hey guys, really interesting intake on breakups. I was in a long distance relationship for almost 8 months and things were going well. However, there were periods where I gave into some insecurities, with the last one being a few days before she broke up with me (late April), and all she said was "I have thought about it a lot and I think that there are too many differences in your character that dont match with me, it is better to set you free find someone else." I did not respond and went immediately into no contact and i have not heard from her but a mutual friend messaged me saying she was worried that she didnt hear from me/give my opinion about what she thought and she wanted a "break" as opposed to a break UP and now she is doubting whether I cared for her or not.
my ex fiance ghosted me said he regret that we took that step until i found him posting a picture with his new fiance while i was deleting conversations , it was so painful i had hope he will come back but i worked on myself now i feel free i forgot him but it took me 9 months of pain ..so the key is to detach from people and work on yourself.
No contact worked for me but he had already done all this damage to our marriage that I didn’t know if I wanted him back or not. We have been working on it but I still remember the cheating, lying and it really gets to me sometimes. When he says he loves me, I don’t know if I believe him, it’s so hard.
My situation is different. My ex left me 10 months ago and NEVER stopped talking to me. He did all the work, calling me and txting me and yet, still didn’t want to be with me. I had no choice but to end all communication with him because I wanted more.
@@a.m830 we no longer communicate. Him leaving was the best thing he ever did for me. I realize now he chose to leave rather than do the work and that’s ok. I can now find someone who is capable of giving in relationships at a capacity that is equal or better to mine.
I had a session with you about 5 years ago after my first breakup & you helped me come to terms with the fact that I deserve much better and should forget about him. Pretty soon after I learned he is actually a textbook NARCISSIST (specifically a covert cerebral narcissist). I have been no contact since then & am pretty proud of myself. I learned a lot about narcissists, was clueless before. With narcissists and toxic people, no contact is the only way to go, and without the goal of getting them back.
Living in the UK I've broken up with my g/f three days into a lockdown. This dude's videos (and a magnesium supplement) have kept me sane. He REALLY knows what he's talking about, and I feel like I've had some free counselling. Craig, you're a top bloke, thanks.
I do need to attract healthier people. I only had one "healthy" girlfriend, we lived together for 7 years, and it turns out she has anxiety problems, she can't stay alone, and when she moved away for work, she completely changed, cheated on me and left. She was probably only with me all this time because she had moved away from her parents' for college, and I provided her with the security she had received from her parents until she was 18. I cooked her meals, helped her studies, encouraged her to get the master's degree, helped her write academic papers (one of which was published last week, I remember the night we were making the corrections that the journal had asked for it), I boosted her confidence, which used to be low, and only in our relationship did she sincerely start to feel she was a beautiful woman. It feels like I raised a baby bird, and she flew away. It is the 3rd week of NC. All other women I have ever attracted are narcissists, borderlines and bipolars. Literally, I mean diagnosed cases. I am starting to think there is something wrong with me. I think I'm an avoidant, but I have this nurturing side that I discovered while living with my ex. I can't really show it to many other people (I would like to), but these crazy women seem to be the first to detect it for manipulation.
It's been 11 days since the breakup!! It's been up and down, some day's I'm good, some days oh my gosh I'm angry, frustrated, sad, miss him, etc. Focusing on myself, diving into my business, fitness and I have pretty much watched all of Craig's videos, MULTIPLE times too. Just so I can keep myself sane LOL.
Fight for what you want and make it come through..love is an intense emotion which anybody can rekindle..you can't fold your hand start believing them to come back like that....you have to fight for it.
My LDR partner of 2.5 years broke it off Tuesday. I have been in no contact since then. This is day 6. Tomorrow it will be a week since we broke up. It has been hard. I just want to reach out to him but I need to go through with this. I am also scared of being ignored. Found this channel and this has been helpful.
Cy Colburn hmm. I don’t know if that would work. I’m a Fearful Avoidant attachment style (disorganized) ie walking around with damage from childhood, but I do love myself and am generally very confident and sociable though I do feel unnecessarily anxious about things like deadlines. But I adore my figure, I love my humour and I think I’ve a face of standardized attractiveness that makes navigating the world easier than it might have been. I don’t think my issues would be spotted with a simple question like that.
We been broken up for about a week. For the first few days I was going through separation anxiety bad. I knew better at first and was about to go complete no contact but… I realized I got blocked and she was serious.. that’s when it kicked in full throttle. when I tell you I did the most I did… endless flowers with cards, emails and I pulled up on her once but her father was the gate keeper so I dropped some of her thing off and kept it moving.. by the time I got home I sent more flowers asking her to talk.. big mistake.. following that I found your videos and the helped a lot.. it gave me reassurance of what I already knew and helped me suppress the anxiety.. now today the flowers got there today I’ve made up my mind the night before to go full on no contact. I know I just set myself back a bit or whatever but I built the strength to fight anxiety and keep working on myself. I do wish for her to come back. Who doesn’t? I have to stick to the script understand that our fate is in her hands and she has to come around because I’m blocked.. idk how I found y’all but I am very thankful and grateful to have.
What if you dated for only 1 month? She had a HIGH interest level in me, said I was “different than most guys” and “one of a kind”. She wanted me to text her every day and when I did I noticed her interest level going down until one day, after in my opinion a successful date, she just said she wasn’t “feeling the vibes”. She offered friendship but I told her no thanks and if she changed her mind text me. I’m in one week no contact so far and it really hurts.
First!🥰 First of all a happy new year to you Coaches! Great to have you back. By now I am over my ex (who’s 1000% avoidant), but I continue watching your videos and still love them. You guys have changed my life for good. From anxious to free and absolutely happy.😉 Thanks or everything. All the best!😘
I was there for her, I’ve always been in the picture. A year before she started messing with him. She left him because he was possessive, immature and very insecure. It took a restraining order, arrest and threats from law enforcement to get him off her back. He even came to my house several times,(reason he got arrested) crazy late nights at the station, Money spent to replace her phone and other items he took back from her. I supported her all through, All this happened in less than 2months ago....Now, she’s back with him.... my heart just dropped in my stomach. What do you do when your ex returns to an ex? Words can’t describe how 😡 and fucking betrayed I feel. It is important to add that I destroy this guy in every possible way... I don’t get it.
I feel like I see more people waiting forever in No contact with no progress. I'm going on 4 weeks NC and 2.5 months since seeing each other last. I know what I want, who I am and we had no issues on the relationship. I broke her trust and that made her push me away. I don't believe she will reach out since she is a dismissive avoidant.
I’m worried I’ll never hear from my ex again. We were together for two and a half years but we were long distance (we would see each other once a month) it’s been 5 months NC but I’m gonna continue working on myself as planned
Over the years I’ve experienced avoidance attachment and anxiety both ways - it’s a human thing , the Buddha says all attachment leads to suffering - thing is we attach ourselves to the illusion of someone else as our source of happiness ! When we need to find that within ourselves ! I’ve been doing Inner child healing work and I have to say it’s the best ! And a fast track to healing old wounds - The best relationship is with yourself so when you find someone it’s the cherry on the cake 🍰 all the best in healing your heart 💖
So true. Despite being the one who broke up with my past girlfriends and going no-contact, i still thought of them. I reached a point where i missed them and tried to work things out with them. Of course, it didn't work out in the end. I still think about them to this day.
That’s nice to hear. My partner broke it off with me 5 weeks ago and It feels as though she couldn’t care less. I’m sure that’s not true but as the dumpee it just feels like that. Hearing from a dumper that they do still care is comforting so thanks 🙏
@@vintagebabyseventythree6244 she doesn't wanna admit it because she needs time to recover. After I break up with someone, I'm the same. I'm exhausted and need a break to process feelings. However, after I do - I get curious about my ex and think about getting back with them.
Hi Craig and Margaret, I would be considered an avoidant. I thought I was getting better but, realized in this last relationship that I still have some avoidant tendencies I seem to do subconsciously. I realize now that the trigger was when he mentioned marriage. I started doing things that would push him away but, I also realized I never fully opened up to him. That is still so terrifying to me. I appreciate your videos and purchased the knowledge as I really want to get past this. I know now that it's not right how I can just get over someone in such a short period of time which in the past was such a benefit.
Good morning Coach Craig and Coach Margaret. You’ve helped me keep my sanity throughout the last couple of months by keeping things in perspective for me. My ex was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 disorder in November, which explained his mood swings. I broke up with him a few weeks ago (trying to get a reaction out of him), but I said something hurtful (I said I was tired of feeling rejected and could have any guy I wanted, and I was angry and didn’t mean it, but I said it. He’s blocked me now, and I can’t text or call him). I’d LOVE to see you guys do a video on dealing with an ex with Bipolar, and if that changes things when trying to get them back. Thank you!
Why would you break up with someone to "get a reaction"? That is horribly cruel and uncaring for the person you claim to love. Why would someone do this? Does the other person really mean so little to you?
I just found your channel and I am beyond grateful. I suddenly got broken up with and went straight into NC and it's almost been two weeks and it's slowly starting to itch haha! So this is perfect timing of finding you guys! I will listen and take in all your information, since it makes so much sense to me and you are very friendly to listen to (if that makes sense ;-)). Thank you so much!
There were both positives and weaknesses to the holidays. On the positive side I got to see my friends more (when they're not busy with their families) and I wasn't in work so I could go for a walk when I was stressed. But there also felt like there was something missing, there would be times where I felt so alone and it could last a full day. There's a slight hope that they will reach out, even if they don't it doesn't mean they didn't miss you but it still sucks😂. Anyways great vid, glad to have you back👍🏻
You should explain how it “works on everyone” when they don’t actually contact you again. That to me means your no contact method didn’t work right. What if they were someone you just dated for a short time vs an actual relationship?
Thank you both for all the insightful videos you post on UA-cam. Coach Margaret, your comment about self-confidence after a breakup really hit home and Coach Craig I couldn’t agree more that people can’t hear those words often enough! I always learn something new from your videos and to that I am forever grateful!
This coming April will be 3 years. Still think about them all of the time and I have not heard from them (together 8 years). It was rough, but at this point I’ve come to terms with the fact that we might be better off apart. Had a long time to think about everything lol. I was a mess and I would have left me too. The break up forced me to change many aspects of my life and it forced me to grow up. Big time. One of the most painful experiences of my life, but I’m leaps and bounds stronger and am a much more dynamic individual as a result. Don’t know what’s changed with her, no way to know, but if she hasn’t changed much, I couldn’t date her anymore anyway. 1000+ days no contact woop woop lol no matter how it turns out guys, do the work and never stop, it will pay dividends.
Keep in mind no contact should not be used to get someone back, If your willing to let someone go to be with someone else you are selling yourself short while you take a back seat I'm surprised these coaches won't tell you that much, I've gone no contact BEACUSE my ex is a liar and a cheater who wanted someone new why would I take a back seat and wait while I can just find someone better instead of going no contact until they want me around again?
My partner wanted space because he said I was talking to him too much and he didn't have time to watch his Netflix shows.. Its been 3 days and I've realized he can have all the space he wants.. because I'm walking away :) I deserve to be the priority.
@@CameroneProductions right?? what guy throws a fit over something like that?? If a girl is wanting to talk to you it means she likes you.. He's an idiot. But he also has Reactive attachment disorder.. It's been a struggle :(
so you triggered an avoidant by taking away their independence (thats how they see it) and they pushed for space so your giving up? if your in the beginning stages of the relationship (6-12 months) you really have no reason to be talking to them all the time unless the desire to do so is mutual.
Had a guy I was crazy about break up with me for another women. I was heart broken. We remained friends. Texting and even meeting a couple times for drinks. You are Correct coach…friendship only benefits them. I was hurting but slowly got over it. He ended up marrying the women. That was the day NC started. It was a natural progression for both of us. But low and behold 10 months later I get a text from him. He misses his friend. Meaning me. We talked briefly several times. But honestly I am just not interested. I let the texting fade away. He is married and I don’t have time to be giving energy to someone who is just bored. Plus I don’t think it’s appropriate. He choose her…so enjoy your life. I will not be stroking his ego. Bye!
Got dumped without warning or explanation, after trying to make contact with her on 2 occasions, I have gone NC.. and I don't care if she comes back now. I have met a younger woman, who has such a fantastic happy disposition, and she adores me, so I have moved on. If my ex contacts me, it will be "sorry but you pissed on your chips" too late now. She isn't coming back! Promise!😮
She doesn't want me back despite spending New Year with MY friends (I was away). It's really ruffled my feathers knowing she was so close but so far. I _must_ have crossed her mind but had no message from her. I really miss her and pine for her back still, but I'm miles better as a man now so the separation was needed for perspective. Love and life is so hard. Thanks both, as always.
Work on yourself bro stop worrying about her! Once you have the mindset of transforming to a better man you'll have other women attractive to you and eventually she'll reach out but by then your feelings will be completely gone
@@EJayyDreadHead I can't imagine my feelings being completely gone. She was the first GF I lived with, my second long-term relationship, had so much going for her and should have been my wife and mother to my children. But I wasn't 'ready' and now I feel very stupid. It's hard not to worry about her. My next steps are to get back in the gym and redecorate my place. I have sorted my head and life goals out, so these two things are next on my list to boost my self-esteem. It's so shit to have to go through this to be a better man, but I was never going to be when with my ex. I needed this period of introspection. Thank you for your reply, btw : )
@@MikeJackson690 you're going through separation anxiety and depression* it may take you months to fully heal* but nothing lasts forever so eventually you'll move on with your life yes continue to be in the gym and build your money up have a abundance mindset just focus on you. results come fast be confident bro we all go through hell by a individual* keep your head up you'll be ok 💪🏾
Going thru this right now. I love your videos because you always add that you've been thru it too. Many experts like to be above it, but its almost therapeutic to know that it does get better
Thank you for this video!! You both are amazing💙 Just one complaint...you took too long to post a new video...ha...btw that apple bee's girl lost a good person. What was she thinking??? Love you both😊
They know how to contact if they want to. If you don't trust yourself to follow no contact to the T, delete their number and mutuals, unfollow them on social media etc. Make it impossible for you to get back in touch. That's what I've been doing.
I traveled back home from the UK to Italy, but my ex was often on my mind. What worries me is that it has now been 6 months and I still have moments in which I get upset and have pangs of emotional pain which I wasn’t expecting to still have at this stage. I think I need a therapist because the emotional pain is difficult for me to manage and it takes over my life at times. I think the cause isn’t just the thoughts tied to my ex, it’s something deeper and unresolved, a chronic problem I have carrying with me for years.
Roberto Schneider I can relate to the depth of that pain, to my understanding it has to stem with our attachment type/childhood trauma. Personally I am taking a spiritual path to try to heal my soul. I am 2.5 months post break up. My fiancé broke it off via text (wedding was booked for this past NYE) and he blocked me. I attempted to contact him 2 weeks after break up via email and he was so mean. I wasn’t radio silent. I closed all my social media accounts, stopped talking to his daughters and friends....ghost. It’s been incredibly hard,, not a day has gone by I haven’t cried. It’s cut deeper than anything I’ve ever experienced. I went and had a Reiki session, having another one this Friday. As well I booked an apt to have past life regression session with a hypnotherapist in hopes to release trauma. I am slowly trying to practice meditation, I am hooked on Amazon prime audible books, I am not listening to “He’s Scared, She’s Scared”. I am having huge ah ha moments that I hope will help me heal. I wish you well ❤️
Tina Horn so sorry, it’s sad to read what you have had to endure, it must have been even harder for you since it was supposed to end in marriage in your case. Time cures all but it’s very hard. I need therapy because otherwise these patterns will return in every relationship. I like that you have turned to audible books and hypnosis. I will consider those as ways to snap out of the current condition which at times is a nightmare
Roberto Schneider it’s better, I found out last week he married another woman on 12/26, 2 months after breaking it off with me and days before our wedding date for NYE...he posted pictures on FB and our pictures still up, like who does that ??
I had to be the dumper telling him to take space and when he figured it out he should let me know. I gave him my whole heart, accepted him, his children, helped and supported building his business. We saw each other every day for coffee and he just got distance and when i talk about it things will go better for a few weeks and then again. I couldn't take this anymore so today is day 8th and man its difficult.he still come to the place where we had coffee but we dont talk i want to talk to him badly but i cant he needs to feel what he lost and what i meant to him😭💔
Guys, just trust me on this one. If you actually stop giving a fu** you will be suprised to be called by a random number or your ex mirroring your social media moves even if they blocked you(they watch with fske accounts) maybe they watch your best friends story to see what ur doing. So stop giving a f*** and you'll be suprised what the universe does for you. Keep your peace stay healthy. Peace out
Happy new year Coach Craig and Coach Margaret. I'm doing no contact for a month. I didn't contact my ex to wish his birthday, Christmas and a new year. It's really hard but as he struggles from his new job in a foreign country, I think I shound't bother him now.
Were you able to enjoy the holidays with family and friends despite the breakup? How did the holidays impact you? Did they make things easier? Or did they make things tougher?
Margaret and I are curious if holidays make things harder or easier during a breakup? Let us know your experiences
Hey Craig!
One quick question!
Does no contact work even after I said I would contact him when I am in better place after I got rejected reconciliation with him?
It sucks when you gotta bounce your kid from home to home during the holidays especially when it’s the first ones this way. At least I had my family.
In general, my holidays were nice, but I still am suffering a bit after my breakup, even though it's been over a year. But yesterday I finished the workbooks 1-5 and started on 6, I go running 3 times a week, eat better and in general, I'm in an excellent position. But I still do miss her.
Btw, no reach out from her since September, where she never responded after I answered to her initial reach out... I guess I'm better off WITHOUT someone like that in my life. Still my brain and heart disagree.
Thank you for your amazing work and support, I was so happy to see you posted a new video today! 😃
Coach Craig Kenneth Ex did not reach out on the holidays, neither on my birthday. It did not matter so much to me. I am concentrate on me. Love you and Margret. ❤️
I think i need your help dude. And i think yOU have the knowledge to figure things out. My ex and I broke up 2 years ago i feel the pain ofcourse (she left me for someone else and i think because i have low salary and the guy has lot of money ) for how many months im focusing more on my personal growth like going to kickboxing classes, working my ass off. After that i already moved on. Now she is pregnant i feel the pain again. What should i do? 😢
Message to dumpers,
If you’re having second thoughts don’t wait to long to reach out. I know you think we (the dumpees) will be pining away waiting for you to contact us but be warned, with each passing day we get stronger and less emotional and we start to realise we can live without you. If there’s doubt anywhere in your hearts then act on it because your window of opportunity is closing.
Love,
The dumpees
same with the person dumped. if dumpers can move on same those dumped. there are so many fishes in the ocean. life is so simple. why make it complicated by breaking it apart and wait for the dumped to move towards the dumpers in the first place. When I was dumped, the no contact rule was effective in moving on and not on winning the dumper. dumpers remember this. If a man or woman is with high value and with a sense of dignity. Once they realized that they can live without the dumper, then they will start welcoming other better opportunities in life.
So true
This is very true, and thanks for the accurate and sincere input. I've decided to cut her off and not come back, after taking time to think about it. The feeling of doubt would instead be feeling mourning of loss, thankfully.
Unfortunately that's exactly what happened to me and my ex-gf
And a little PS for the dumpers:
If you really mean business and realized how bad you screwed up…for Pete’s sake lead with humility and A SINCERE apology.
Im going to start going back to the gym. I’ll use all this pain and suffering in working out instead of wasting it at home crying over someone who doesn’t care about me anymore. I’m going to turn into Arnold 2.0. Stay tuned.
Jason that’s what i did. back to the gym, lost 25 lbs and i can’t wait to walk past him whenever i get the chance and flaunt!!!
it’s been 6 weeks for me and you can do it!,
Same here, if someone needs friend to talk to, follow me on insta risticcvladan💪🏻
@@vladanristic4595 or snapchat?
yyy yea
yyy did u add me?
Uncertainty is very powerful... . When you stop contact the mind wonders no matter if it's been weeks or months they'll reach out
Have you had any progress these past 3 months?
After he ended things I told him that if he truly cared about me he’d never contact me again so I can move on this time. Will no contact still work in this case?
@@becoming_kara
Wow I told my ex the same thing. Only i just said that I didn’t believe in comunication after break up. I’m in week 6 of nc. Some one out there, any suggestions?
@@fernmiranda914 I suggest you stay in nc. If someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them! Actions speak volumes. I’m missing the best of what we shared, yet, with each passing day, seeing more clearly that he did me a huge favor. We both grew & learned from each other. Some people stay for a season, others a lifetime. It’s normal life journey. I’ve heard it said, “ the right one stays “. 🤷♀️
@@becoming_kara update
You cant turn off the ❤❤, if they never reaches out, they never gave a dam in the first place.
That’s the hardest pill to swallow, imagine believing someone loved you more than anything but didn’t even love you enough to try
@@jasonkwilliamson unreal brother. It hurts when they become cold strangers. Then the next one, they have sex with, eventually, sometimes even after the first time, they feel emotion and doubt. They feel it , they feel you. You're not there to protect them, this is for more 5+ years but it happens. I even felt regret once after sex with someone else
Just hit one full year of no contact! Never thought I could do it. One day at a time adds up.
Me too. One full year. He reached out last time. Doesn't matter anymore. I'm just fine. He's moved on and so have I. I love my new self. No anxiety...no worrying about being alone. I like the single life now. It's quite fun at times. No rules. Cheers to you🎉
Did they reach out
Nope. Blocked me on all social media and total radio silence. A friend said she has tons of pics up now with her new boyfriend.
Fred Howland wow. How long has she been in the new relationship in ? And how long did it take her to move on from you ?
rateorhate11 she started seeing the guy she’s now been with for over a year ONE WEEK after we broke up. I don’t get it at all.
I hope the Appleby's girl is watching these vids.
I would LOVE to hear the entire Appleby's girl story. Did Coach Craig do a video about her? I hear all the references to her, but can't find the story!
@@MoniDmajor Me too! Ok, Coach Craig. By popular demand, we want to hear the Appleby's story!! I'm sure you and Margaret would be able to tell this in your usual funny way! Please???
Applebees story for the win!!!
Elizabeth F. Yeah I still have not heard the full story...
@@xpaperxcutx4588 Wonder if we ever will???
You know what Craig? Been 11 months since the break up and it took me a long time to move on... still working on getting my great wonderful self back.
She didn’t reach out during the holidays and neither did I. And I am thankful for that. Yes I am. Because this year is a fresh new start for me. It‘s over, it’s done. Maybe she is coming back, maybe not. Who cares? What I have learned is to focus on myself and the greater my energy is the greater people I attract into my life. This is MY time to shine again and to get someone even way better than my ex. Someone keeping up with my hot ass 😜
Everyone can make it. It‘s a very long road but you‘re not walking alone. We are all in the same boat. So let’s make this ride exciting and amazing. Peace!
Best mindset ever! cheers to you and keep it up ;)
In the same boat a carbon copy of your situation. This all sucks but I don't miss the alcoholic and BPD drama.
Your videos keep me sane, seriously. 20+ minutes of convincing arguments helps me not break "no contact". Thank you so much!
True , i feel the exact same ❤
I have an avoidant attachment style and I know it sucks for those who date us because we're hard to understand and we can be hurtful, but trust me, we don't mean to be. Working on the workbooks has helped me understanding why I'm struggling with intimacy and I'm now able to soothe my own anxiety. I can also identify what triggers it precisely. My ex and I are casually dating at the moment and things are going great. I'd say I have a fair chance at getting him back. Avoidants can change when they want to :) thank you so much Craig and Margaret!
I would also like to add that I did reach out to an ex-boyfriend after several months of no contact in the past, but also to a few close friends I had pushed away. Avoidants do reach out to people they deeply care about. I did the whole indirect - direct approach thing myself 😂 We're not hopeless 😉
It'd nice to hear that there is hope for avoidants. Well done on working on your issues.
This gives me hope for my ex...my baby's father. He's my first everything. I love him so much and our little family. I'm praying so hard.
@M K Focus on yourself! No matter what happens with your baby's father in the future, the time you invest in yourself will never be lost!
When someone suddenly leaves, says he’s happier without me, I will NEVER allow him back into my life. And I’m a very forgiving person. I couldn’t imagine life without him. He obviously felt completely opposite. Do I miss what we shared? Absolutely. HE left me. Actions speak volumes.
I’m practicing self-love, self-respect. I’m working on myself, reading books, listening to coaching, journaling and continuing to spend time visiting my loving, accepting family & friends. People who choose to stay in my life in spite of my quirks and because of my uniqueness.
If someone shows you who they are the first time…. Believe them.
2 months no contact, almost called yesterday, but I didn't.
Jesus Marmolejo any update?
Symphony Taylor going strong, started dating someone new so I have let go off my idea of wanting my x back.
Nice
Any update??
@@DiegooFXX Talked to my x but I am now dating someone new.
DISAGREE:
it depends; No contact only works if you had a relationship with someone, if you're dating a guy and he stopped messaging you or you do not contact on him, he's never going to contact you back.
No contact, however, DOES 100% work if you had a relationship with someone. I did no contact twice, the first time he contacted me 9 months after, then we dated again and everything went back to the (toxic) way it was. Then did no contact again, this time it took him over a year to contact me but he's still the same him negative person, while I've become a high value gal thanks to coaches like Craig and Margaret ♥️👍. No more toxic exes, next please
Definitely
Time to learn that people dont change.
@@dafearfactor639 specially if they're 40+
@@ricgonmar exactly. No contact always makes your ex come back, but not flings or dates (from my experience). Even an ex bf from 5+ years ago reached out to me. They aaaaalways come back.
@@ricgonmar I think you're Portuguese or Brazilian so: meu Deus! Haven't you learnt anything from coach Craig? No contact doesn't make any sense if you do it for a week and then ask her out again,. She has to miss you and feel like you've moved on, right now she feels that she is in control . Let her contact you, let her come to you about your son/her daughter. Do NOT ask her out again!
You see, when you do No Contact, the other person starts to worry because you are mysterious, and they don't know what you're up to. She will think 'oh no, Ricardo found another girl!'. She will start missing the time you had together and will indirect direct contact you. You need patience my friend
I haven’t talked to my ex in 3 months. I have moved on & so has he. I have learned so much from this breakup & the personal growth has made me a happier, healthier person
I can see myself crying on Margaret's shoulders..... just bury myself in her embrace
😭😭
Same ❤
@14:42 Being in the middle of horrendous hearbreak after a 7 year relationship and hearing margaret say "you're not that forgettable, and you're not that unloveable....." i broke down...
Hi did u get your ex back ?
Sometimes having space is all we really need!
Erika K hey I’ve been in no contact with my ex for around over a week and a couple days ago she reached out to say happy birthday, do you think it would be appropriate if I told her to have a great day before school tomorrow she starts her second semester of college and I don’t want her to think I forgot about her or moved on, should I give her a text saying hey hope you have a good week at school or should I stay in no contact, but I don’t plan on having a conversation with her just telling her to have a good day at school
@@rayzamora6593 no contar means no contact. let her come too you
Trik Loz actually what they say is during no contact DONT REACH OUT. If they reach out to yuh keep it neutral and brief.
@@rayzamora6593 she reached out. So make contact silly!
@@InsaneDude6161995 thats exactly what she did. She reached out to him.
Best advice ever. I ignored my ex over the holidays. Got a new job. Ensured I updated LinkedIn. Sure enough messages came flying in. Posted up fun photos with friends on Facebook made them public. She went nuts. Did I take her back? Hell no. Just ignore your ex guys, as hard as it is. It works a charm. Thanks for this great video
I hope you're right it's been almost six months he has kept her pictures on Instagram reads my stories but I have only done one month no contact before I was begging and pleading for almost 5 months so I hope you're right on that and hopefully eventually he'll come back home how long did it take for you to get your person back you wanted
The holidays made my ex realized every thing he put me through. I am very thankful I found your channel early last year when he ghosted me. We were together for 2 and half years.
Just after a year, with NO CONTACT and just watching your videos and improving my self -- he reached out to me. We met and had lunch and had a good talk. Night time came, and he called me again being so sorry and is hinting to start things again with me.
I am not sure anymore, as he didn't changed at all. I just wish him the best. Thank you so much Coach Craig and Margaret. I will continue to listen to your videos.
be careful..ones who have not changed end up being apologetic and will burn you in a shorter time than they did the first time around (they have too many triggers and issues not related to you). Remember, you come first in your life. Do what is best for you and don't sacrifice your happiness for crumbs of what you deserve.
You grew and he stayed the same.
I’ve been there and though they are complimentary and apologetic at first they have not changed, for the better anyway. Think about all the change You went through just to get him to have lunch. Do you think he went through changes to try to get your attention?
@@maddipage1347 Yeah I think so. Since I really stayed away from him as far as possible and I did not bother him in any way. I feel bad for what happened to him but that doesn't mean I want him back as well. I may not know what I want now, but I do know what I don't want. It's like he wants me to fix him again, and when he's okay already, he will leave again.
Glitch Burn i would def not take him back then. It’s not your job to fix him. Move on. You deserve better!
I'm the dumper. Watching these videos and learning about attachment styles has taught me a lot about who I am and how my relationship of 4 years got to the point it did. I realized because of my past traumas due to upbringing, family issues, and caregiving for my mom that was diagnosed with brain cancer when I was 21 has lead me me to be an anxious avoidant. I would lash out in arguments, and my way of solving it was threatening to break up even though I knew that's not what I wanted, but subconsciously that was my brain's way of coping and "solving" the issues. If there were inconveniences, I couldn't bring myself to just calm down and work through them and I thought getting mad about it would somehow make it better. Granted there were times where if I just focused I could handle it fine, but it felt like I had to really weed out the thoughts that made me just want to go off the deep end.
Deep down inside I knew I wanted to marry her, but when she'd ask me about marriage it triggered me to avoid talking about it, but when I was alone doing my own thing, I'd find myself thinking about our wedding, imagining her name with my last name, where and how I would propose and so on.
I still think about her all the time and I haven't stopped loving her any less. If anything, realizing what I could have done differently makes me love her more. It's been about 6 months and originally we were talking as friends for a little while, but as time went on it got really rocky. We've been in no contact now for about a month and she has apparently moved on with someone else. I regret everything I did, and it's the toughest thing since my mom passing realizing now the things I could have changed if I just recognized it more, and realizing just how much she means to me. I wonder if she still thinks about me 😔
Has she reached out, or you since,
I hope she leaves you alone! Time waster.
Nothing just happens bro 💯❤️💯
For those that are experiencing no contact, let me tell you it works! both ways, for you and to let your ex miss you. Over a year later our breakup, she came back apologizing for everything she thinks did wrong and with full intentions clear to get back together. She's been in a relationship with a guy that treated her horribly compared to me. She said that she did try to make it work all this time, but could not help comparing him to me and how well I used to treat her. She did not forget me at all, which completely different of how I used to think she was without me. I wasn't expecting her to be back and I wasn't waiting, but now it is up to me to decide what happens. She did noticed all my changes and all she says is that she sees the value in my and she is proud of what i have accomplished.
1 year is very long, worth it?
I've been waiting for two years. No contact from him. It is painful
Margaret you are looking very nice today in red.
Don't forget, folks...the Grand Gesture will ALWAYS turn you into the Grand Jester!
Whats that?
I'm a textbook avoidant. These videos as well as my recent experience with my ex are helping me realize that my avoidant responses are just defense mechanism I've developed out of fear and they are actually counterproductive. Actively working hard to push myself out of my comfort zone and change these deep seeded habits.
My ex had an avoidant attachment style and no contact still worked. Lol.
epicbehavior I’m really glad to hear this. My bf has gone on a break with me (to figure out what he wants) I’ve just learnt about attachment styles and he’s very avoidant bc he has mental health issues and just needs to be alone to figure stuff out and doesn’t know if he can be in a relationship. I’m praying we get back together and he still sends me memes and stuff, which I’m taking as a good sign. How long did it take for it to work for you? We’ve been on break for about 5 days now
Zed Jay 6 weeks
My boyfriend has this avoidant attachment he has never been married and women in and out living with him. He just lets go like it doesn't bother him. so I been a bit worried he will not contact me. It's been 10 days I'm a bit sad that he wont contact me.
Amber Tokach I’m avoidant and I wouldn’t contact you ( not meaning you specifically just in general )
@@jh5588 Can you please explain why (not)? I´ve dated an avoidant who said that he does not miss his exes and never have. Is that it? Would you not contact an ex even if you missed her? Tell us more:)
I was a fearful avoidant before I started learning about myself and using self-awareness to heal. Your channel has been so incredibly helpful on my journey. Craig and Margaret, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and hope.
An avoidant from two years ago reached out right before Christmas. I responded "who is this?". I will never, ever contact him again. I have a more recent avoidant who I also will never give another opportunity to. They are so damaged, and I will not ever put myself in that position again. I love myself way too much to subject myself to their nonsense again.
I commend you. My last two exes were fearful avoidants. It was a complete mindfuck. I am completely shut down to them though, never again.
@@KLEFF718 You're kind of rude.
@@beatitcreep. sorry, wasn't trying to be. Just being honest about my experience. If anything, they were very rude to me.
@@KLEFF718 I don't doubt it, but it doesn't mean they meant to be...
Sometimes they don't come back no contact is helping me take my power back and move on
You and Margaret save lives, you both pull people out of dark places. Lots of love to you both.
I don't feel alone when I read comments. Sending love and big hugs from here. Let's grow stronger each day together. ~ Luna. ❤️🌸
2 years now and i never contacted my ex in any way and neither did he. proud of myself tho, i had weak moments where i thought i needed him but i just needed 'someone' for comfort. thanks for all your great advices, they really helped! x
No contact puts respect back into the mix!
You guys are so great together. I think you guys really help all of us to look at the ex's perspective from a psychological standpoint. No contact makes perfect sense to me now, and it WORKS! You and Margaret definitely know your stuff and are speaking from wisdom and experience, so thank you very much!
It’s been a while since I’ve watched a no contact video. I haven’t needed to, but it’s always nice to have a quick refresher 🙂
After 100 weeks of no contact she got married with her rebound. But I'm still happy that way and happy for her
Omg. Three months after my breakup he said he had a piece of mail for me lol. 😂
Had an ex do that. She wanted to return some junk mail to me, but by then I was over her and told her to trash it.
On my first day I didn’t want to watch these because they were really long but on my first week of my breakup ( never begged or pleaded just accepted it) and only wanted to hear what I wanted to hear. while I was walking I listened to Margaret and Kenneth and they help soooo much 4 months no contact because of you GUYS!! I’m so happy. I keep telling myself to ignore them if they like you they will come to you but it’s better to hear it from an expert. 30 days is foolish and stupid. It’s not long enough. It’s enough to make them think about you a lot. But not want to get back together that’s where these experts get it mixed up. But I love love love these videos. I’m happier now and I don’t care if he texts me or not thank you so much for making these!!!!
I’m 24 and I was broken up with about 2 months ago. After this I had to reflect a lot about what was wrong. I came across many excellent resources. Craig and Margaret the dating guy the love chat and topic ex. Many of them talked about attachment styles. I turns out my ex and I were the classic anxious avoidant trap. It sucks because I took the time to reflect and she went on a rebound I haven’t heard anything from her since then. I still miss and want her back but recently I’ve started focusing on myself. Like Margaret said we have to refocus our energy. As an avoidant I did a lot of work by reading attached watching videos and also spending time with myself. I’ve been reading a lot of other books and doing a lot of reflecting ie behavioral therapy and journaling. I miss her but like Margaret says I am not that forgettable my attachment style might need work but I’m sure no ones loved her more than I have. And in time, she’ll realize that despite my flaws, I was willing to work on this for as long as it took.
Update
@@jesuslievanos7430 meet someone new and have been in a relationship for almost a full year! It gets easier and it is no longer heavy on my mind.
thank you craig
Personally I question why someone can't heal themselves with a person. Sorry you are going through this.
I question it too....but maybe every situation is different..my ex said the same.. couple days later she was dating someone else 😖
@@tr9809 it's an excuse the majority of the time.
@@tr9809 me too, she told me she fell in love too fast as a couple of months before we started talking she had a 4 year relationship end. she told me she has severe depression and anxiety. im just confused as why she's gone because everything was so right. she would tell me if something was up.
i think she wants to work on herself before being in a proper relationship.. i just dont know but we're in no contact and she has a jumper of mine that she wants still and i have 2 letters and a poetry book she had given me
@@222vessel So you were the rebound here
I was an avoidant, it destroyed a relationship I loved so much.... I changed because I can't act like that to bring this person back...
My ex girlfriend is avoidant she split 4 times with me over our 2 year relationship I think I smothered her and she ran and came back,4 weeks later each time....but this time it's been 9 months and I'm not sure she cares anymore
SILENCE IS THE MOST DEAFENING THING YOU CAN DO
3 weeks no contact. I'm over playing mind games. You either want to be with me or not. Are there any single men in 30s or 40s here?
After me and my ex broke up I felt like absolute shit but after seeing your videos I noticed that I'm doing the exact OPPOSITE of what I should be doing. Now that I'm listening and doing everything you say she's the one trying to start the conversations and not me. Thank you so much
I had no idea that I have an Avoidant attachment style until Coach Margaret helped me see myself more clearly. Now that I know more about attachment styles and I know myself better (Coach Craig’s videos, The Knowledge workbooks, Coach Margaret, etc), I look back at my life and I see the pattern.
We Avoidants don’t know that we are pushing people away when we do it. It is not on purpose. We want love just as much as anyone else. But, just like the Anxious, we are unaware of the affect we have on those who love us. I am so glad that I now know and I have a course of action and am making the necessary changes. I am just so sorry that to finally reach this realization, I lost a woman I loved more dearly than anyone I have ever loved before. The question that haunts me most was when Coach Margaret asked me “do you think you pushed her away?” ...THUD!!
It was at that moment...that very moment...when I realized...that it was me.
@D V
I am no expert, but I would stick to what Coach Craig encourages us to do; stay in No Contact and hopefully she will come around eventually. In the meantime, work on yourself (many benefits to be gained). Also - and very importantly - allow yourself to grieve your loss. Don’t try to cover your grief with a rebound relationship or “hook ups”. Grief takes time to process and the deeper your love for the person, the longer your heart will need to grieve. Don’t try to push it, let your heart heal at it’s own pace. Work on becoming a better you and healing your heart. Hopefully, some day, she will sense what she gave up in you and will finally reach out to you.
P.S. my ex never reached out to me...not once. Not everyone gets a second chance, but if you do get that chance, be ready and show her a better you the next time.
@D V
Oh, no - on the contrary, she dumped me, DV. Broke my heart into a million pieces.
I didn’t see it coming - though I should have. In looking back, I can recall numerous things she did or said which showed that she was questioning “us” and my love for her. But I felt confident (arrogant, maybe) that she felt the same way that I did; I thought I had finally found the woman I would be with for the rest of my days. Consequently, I took my eye off the prize and took her love and her presence in my life for granted. I am older than most here and have been through a marriage and several long-term relationships, but never before had I felt the sense of comfort and “permanence” that I felt with this woman. I didn’t recognize that she has an Anxious Attachment Style (Coach Margaret showed me that), and I overlooked her pleas for reassurance.
She obviously wrestled with the decision for some time, but I was clueless. As Coaches Craig and Margaret teach us, by the time they have made the decision, it is too late to talk them out of it. But I tried! For the first two months after the break, I reached out to her 4 or 5 times via text and even sent her the dreaded “hand-written letter” (Ugh!!). I had not heard of Coach Craig or “No Contact” yet. At about the two-month mark she replied to one of my texts by telling me she “had met someone” and that I needed to move forward. I was shattered! Clearly she was rebounding to mask her pain.
In the midst of my devastation, I found Coach Craig and learned about No Contact, and did not reach out to her again. I had a session with Coach Margaret 2 months later (~ 4 1/2 months after breakup). As I mentioned in my very first comment above (10 months ago, now), Coach Margaret enlightened me that I have an Avoidant attachment style and my lady-love has an Anxious attachment style. Previously, I would have thought the opposite, but Margaret revealed it to me and I now see the patterns (in both of us). Coach Margaret felt that as deeply as my ex had loved me, that she would reach out at some point. But now 1 1/2 years later, she has never reached out - not one time. Since learning about “No Contact” two months after the breakup, I have reached out twice - once by text, 7 months after the breakup, to wish her “Happy New Year”, and once by email, 6 months later (13 months after breakup). LinkedIn notified me that she had a new job, so I reached out via LinkedIn Mail to congratulate her. She replied each time with what could be termed a “cordial” and “polite” response of “Thank you, I hope you are doing well”. Nothing more, no questions about me, and no hint of any interest in any follow-up messages. I would love to hear from her, but at this point, the odds are certainly very low that she will reach out now.
18 months later, I go on occasional dates with other women. But I am not yet ready for another relationship. I still think of her and I still love her. My heart has not finished it’s grieving process over this one. Typically at the end of past relationships, I’m usually ready again after a few months. But as Coach Craig says “Every relationship is different, and every breakup is different.”
This one was indeed special and my heart knows it. Some day, I’ll be ready to open up to another special woman again...but not quite yet.
No contact rule after a breakup is to help you buy making the person who broke up with you start to reminisce about you first it might be the negative points, the reasons that they felt they needed to leave or the lack of feeling. Whatever they think it is. But as they go on without you contacting them they also start thinking of the good times which will start negating the bad like on a scale the bad thoughts will go down and the good thoughts will go up. And then they start to think about you with things around them maybe something you gave them or songs you listen to or friends it might say dauntlessly house so-and-so but that's what should happen they should start to think about you and then they will miss you by comparing you to others and remembering what they're not getting. So listen to these professionals
Hi Coach Margaret and Coach Craig..thank you for this video. I am an avoidant aka “cookie” on one of your videos you did in 2016 as a response to her reaching out to you Craig. It’s been 3 years and I’ve been able to make improvements thanks to you.
It's taking everything in the world for me to not reach out to him. He broke up with me a week ago and I've been a wreck. I miss his face. We were long distance and would talked everyday single day for six months. I saw him in January, February and March. Then Covid came and now we can't get to each other. He ended us.
That’s my exact situation. What happened jazz? Is there an update x
Hey guys, really interesting intake on breakups. I was in a long distance relationship for almost 8 months and things were going well. However, there were periods where I gave into some insecurities, with the last one being a few days before she broke up with me (late April), and all she said was "I have thought about it a lot and I think that there are too many differences in your character that dont match with me, it is better to set you free find someone else." I did not respond and went immediately into no contact and i have not heard from her but a mutual friend messaged me saying she was worried that she didnt hear from me/give my opinion about what she thought and she wanted a "break" as opposed to a break UP and now she is doubting whether I cared for her or not.
my ex fiance ghosted me said he regret that we took that step until i found him posting a picture with his new fiance while i was deleting conversations , it was so painful i had hope he will come back but i worked on myself now i feel free i forgot him but it took me 9 months of pain ..so the key is to detach from people and work on yourself.
kawtar amy did ur ex ever reach out?
@@Wifeyytalks no he didn't but I really forgot even how he look like hah
No contact worked for me but he had already done all this damage to our marriage that I didn’t know if I wanted him back or not. We have been working on it but I still remember the cheating, lying and it really gets to me sometimes. When he says he loves me, I don’t know if I believe him, it’s so hard.
My situation is different. My ex left me 10 months ago and NEVER stopped talking to me. He did all the work, calling me and txting me and yet, still didn’t want to be with me. I had no choice but to end all communication with him because I wanted more.
Same thing. Time to move on once you realize they just want your energy and essence. But not you.
Update?
@@a.m830 we no longer communicate. Him leaving was the best thing he ever did for me. I realize now he chose to leave rather than do the work and that’s ok. I can now find someone who is capable of giving in relationships at a capacity that is equal or better to mine.
I had a session with you about 5 years ago after my first breakup & you helped me come to terms with the fact that I deserve much better and should forget about him. Pretty soon after I learned he is actually a textbook NARCISSIST (specifically a covert cerebral narcissist). I have been no contact since then & am pretty proud of myself. I learned a lot about narcissists, was clueless before. With narcissists and toxic people, no contact is the only way to go, and without the goal of getting them back.
Living in the UK I've broken up with my g/f three days into a lockdown. This dude's videos (and a magnesium supplement) have kept me sane. He REALLY knows what he's talking about, and I feel like I've had some free counselling. Craig, you're a top bloke, thanks.
@Blythe Girl wow. This was a long time ago. Yeah she did but we broke up again. Same issues
@Blythe Girl me scorpio her libra
I do need to attract healthier people. I only had one "healthy" girlfriend, we lived together for 7 years, and it turns out she has anxiety problems, she can't stay alone, and when she moved away for work, she completely changed, cheated on me and left. She was probably only with me all this time because she had moved away from her parents' for college, and I provided her with the security she had received from her parents until she was 18. I cooked her meals, helped her studies, encouraged her to get the master's degree, helped her write academic papers (one of which was published last week, I remember the night we were making the corrections that the journal had asked for it), I boosted her confidence, which used to be low, and only in our relationship did she sincerely start to feel she was a beautiful woman. It feels like I raised a baby bird, and she flew away. It is the 3rd week of NC.
All other women I have ever attracted are narcissists, borderlines and bipolars. Literally, I mean diagnosed cases. I am starting to think there is something wrong with me. I think I'm an avoidant, but I have this nurturing side that I discovered while living with my ex. I can't really show it to many other people (I would like to), but these crazy women seem to be the first to detect it for manipulation.
You need to watch Coach Corey Wayne's channel, and read his book "How to be a 3% man"; it'll change your life and you outlook on many things.
Take some red pills. They will help you avoid getting hurt in the future.
It's been 11 days since the breakup!! It's been up and down, some day's I'm good, some days oh my gosh I'm angry, frustrated, sad, miss him, etc. Focusing on myself, diving into my business, fitness and I have pretty much watched all of Craig's videos, MULTIPLE times too. Just so I can keep myself sane LOL.
I can recommend you to someone who will help you and you’ll get your desired result without stress
____+23:::4:::81:::59::::15::::89::::15::::❤️❤️❤️
+ 2 3 4 8 1 5 9 1 5 8 9 1 5 💗💗💗💗
Fight for what you want and make it come through..love is an intense emotion which anybody can rekindle..you can't fold your hand start believing them to come back like that....you have to fight for it.
Never you give up on the person you really love, instead fight, strive for their return
My LDR partner of 2.5 years broke it off Tuesday. I have been in no contact since then. This is day 6. Tomorrow it will be a week since we broke up. It has been hard. I just want to reach out to him but I need to go through with this. I am also scared of being ignored. Found this channel and this has been helpful.
Any update?
Any update?
I'm coach Craig Kenneth, and I'm coach Margaret and we are Wyld Stallions!
Still want to know what ever happened to Craig's Applebee's girl
Wonder, what she has attained in life after losing Craig!
I love the way the both of you speak, I feel so soothed, can’t thank you enough
Can you make a video on signs of a healthy person. It seems everyone I meet has some emotional and/or mental issues due to their past. Me included.
Tuan Fleming ask them if they love themself & can say so. It’s a good test.
Cy Colburn hmm. I don’t know if that would work. I’m a Fearful Avoidant attachment style (disorganized) ie walking around with damage from childhood, but I do love myself and am generally very confident and sociable though I do feel unnecessarily anxious about things like deadlines. But I adore my figure, I love my humour and I think I’ve a face of standardized attractiveness that makes navigating the world easier than it might have been. I don’t think my issues would be spotted with a simple question like that.
I'm seeing articles about attachment style affecting love and relationships, and thought you did it first and the information is now spreading
We been broken up for about a week. For the first few days I was going through separation anxiety bad. I knew better at first and was about to go complete no contact but… I realized I got blocked and she was serious.. that’s when it kicked in full throttle. when I tell you I did the most I did… endless flowers with cards, emails and I pulled up on her once but her father was the gate keeper so I dropped some of her thing off and kept it moving.. by the time I got home I sent more flowers asking her to talk.. big mistake.. following that I found your videos and the helped a lot.. it gave me reassurance of what I already knew and helped me suppress the anxiety.. now today the flowers got there today I’ve made up my mind the night before to go full on no contact. I know I just set myself back a bit or whatever but I built the strength to fight anxiety and keep working on myself. I do wish for her to come back. Who doesn’t? I have to stick to the script understand that our fate is in her hands and she has to come around because I’m blocked.. idk how I found y’all but I am very thankful and grateful to have.
I got her back it wa tough but it worked
@@edhead54 did she came to you?
Good for you man
Having a rough day- thought about how well you guys keep me grounded and this was the latest video. Thank you guys so much!
What if you dated for only 1 month? She had a HIGH interest level in me, said I was “different than most guys” and “one of a kind”. She wanted me to text her every day and when I did I noticed her interest level going down until one day, after in my opinion a successful date, she just said she wasn’t “feeling the vibes”. She offered friendship but I told her no thanks and if she changed her mind text me. I’m in one week no contact so far and it really hurts.
First!🥰
First of all a happy new year to you Coaches!
Great to have you back.
By now I am over my ex (who’s 1000% avoidant), but I continue watching your videos and still love them.
You guys have changed my life for good.
From anxious to free and absolutely happy.😉
Thanks or everything. All the best!😘
No contact after a breakup is a no-brainer. Of course you should. The person broke up with you or you broke up with the person.
I was there for her, I’ve always been in the picture. A year before she started messing with him. She left him because he was possessive, immature and very insecure. It took a restraining order, arrest and threats from law enforcement to get him off her back. He even came to my house several times,(reason he got arrested) crazy late nights at the station, Money spent to replace her phone and other items he took back from her. I supported her all through, All this happened in less than 2months ago....Now, she’s back with him.... my heart just dropped in my stomach. What do you do when your ex returns to an ex? Words can’t describe how 😡 and fucking betrayed I feel. It is important to add that I destroy this guy in every possible way... I don’t get it.
Too nice bro too fkn nice
I feel like I see more people waiting forever in No contact with no progress. I'm going on 4 weeks NC and 2.5 months since seeing each other last. I know what I want, who I am and we had no issues on the relationship. I broke her trust and that made her push me away. I don't believe she will reach out since she is a dismissive avoidant.
I’m worried I’ll never hear from my ex again. We were together for two and a half years but we were long distance (we would see each other once a month) it’s been 5 months NC but I’m gonna continue working on myself as planned
Over the years I’ve experienced avoidance attachment and anxiety both ways - it’s a human thing , the Buddha says all attachment leads to suffering - thing is we attach ourselves to the illusion of someone else as our source of happiness ! When we need to find that within ourselves !
I’ve been doing Inner child healing work and I have to say it’s the best ! And a fast track to healing old wounds - The best relationship is with yourself so when you find someone it’s the cherry on the cake 🍰 all the best in healing your heart 💖
Just lost the love of my life today. Aching. Watching your videos. Thanks a bunch.
any update?
Update??
my ex is from space apparently cuz nothing in these ex back videos apply to her but i'm still watching!
So true. Despite being the one who broke up with my past girlfriends and going no-contact, i still thought of them. I reached a point where i missed them and tried to work things out with them. Of course, it didn't work out in the end. I still think about them to this day.
That’s nice to hear. My partner broke it off with me 5 weeks ago and It feels as though she couldn’t care less. I’m sure that’s not true but as the dumpee it just feels like that. Hearing from a dumper that they do still care is comforting so thanks 🙏
@@vintagebabyseventythree6244 she doesn't wanna admit it because she needs time to recover. After I break up with someone, I'm the same. I'm exhausted and need a break to process feelings. However, after I do - I get curious about my ex and think about getting back with them.
If he texts me I won’t know cause he’s BLOCKED and I’m with someone new
Hi Craig and Margaret, I would be considered an avoidant. I thought I was getting better but, realized in this last relationship that I still have some avoidant tendencies I seem to do subconsciously. I realize now that the trigger was when he mentioned marriage. I started doing things that would push him away but, I also realized I never fully opened up to him. That is still so terrifying to me. I appreciate your videos and purchased the knowledge as I really want to get past this. I know now that it's not right how I can just get over someone in such a short period of time which in the past was such a benefit.
You two are my heroes ❤️
Good morning Coach Craig and Coach Margaret. You’ve helped me keep my sanity throughout the last couple of months by keeping things in perspective for me. My ex was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 disorder in November, which explained his mood swings. I broke up with him a few weeks ago (trying to get a reaction out of him), but I said something hurtful (I said I was tired of feeling rejected and could have any guy I wanted, and I was angry and didn’t mean it, but I said it. He’s blocked me now, and I can’t text or call him). I’d LOVE to see you guys do a video on dealing with an ex with Bipolar, and if that changes things when trying to get them back. Thank you!
Update?
Why would you break up with someone to "get a reaction"? That is horribly cruel and uncaring for the person you claim to love. Why would someone do this? Does the other person really mean so little to you?
I just found your channel and I am beyond grateful. I suddenly got broken up with and went straight into NC and it's almost been two weeks and it's slowly starting to itch haha! So this is perfect timing of finding you guys! I will listen and take in all your information, since it makes so much sense to me and you are very friendly to listen to (if that makes sense ;-)). Thank you so much!
There were both positives and weaknesses to the holidays.
On the positive side I got to see my friends more (when they're not busy with their families) and I wasn't in work so I could go for a walk when I was stressed.
But there also felt like there was something missing, there would be times where I felt so alone and it could last a full day.
There's a slight hope that they will reach out, even if they don't it doesn't mean they didn't miss you but it still sucks😂.
Anyways great vid, glad to have you back👍🏻
You should explain how it “works on everyone” when they don’t actually contact you again. That to me means your no contact method didn’t work right. What if they were someone you just dated for a short time vs an actual relationship?
This is my situation
She told me I didn't do anything wrong. I think she's trying to see someone else to fulfill a fantasy.
Thank you both for all the insightful videos you post on UA-cam. Coach Margaret, your comment about self-confidence after a breakup really hit home and Coach Craig I couldn’t agree more that people can’t hear those words often enough! I always learn something new from your videos and to that I am forever grateful!
Obsess over your personal growth! Get your health and business goals right!
2 months no contact I’m doing so good
Did you get out of a toxic relationship or was he toxic and left you? Or what ocurred?
He came back kya
When i told him that I don’t want him back he blocked but the truth i just needed more time
Sarah Haboubi life is too short to play with people like that, you either want them or you don’t.
This coming April will be 3 years. Still think about them all of the time and I have not heard from them (together 8 years). It was rough, but at this point I’ve come to terms with the fact that we might be better off apart. Had a long time to think about everything lol. I was a mess and I would have left me too. The break up forced me to change many aspects of my life and it forced me to grow up. Big time. One of the most painful experiences of my life, but I’m leaps and bounds stronger and am a much more dynamic individual as a result. Don’t know what’s changed with her, no way to know, but if she hasn’t changed much, I couldn’t date her anymore anyway.
1000+ days no contact woop woop lol no matter how it turns out guys, do the work and never stop, it will pay dividends.
Keep in mind no contact should not be used to get someone back, If your willing to let someone go to be with someone else you are selling yourself short while you take a back seat I'm surprised these coaches won't tell you that much, I've gone no contact BEACUSE my ex is a liar and a cheater who wanted someone new why would I take a back seat and wait while I can just find someone better instead of going no contact until they want me around again?
My partner wanted space because he said I was talking to him too much and he didn't have time to watch his Netflix shows.. Its been 3 days and I've realized he can have all the space he wants.. because I'm walking away :) I deserve to be the priority.
Umm. Damn straight! He prioritizes NetFlix over you!? Gee what a sweet, romantic, caring guy! 🤨 You’ll be fine 🙏🌅💙
@@CameroneProductions right?? what guy throws a fit over something like that?? If a girl is wanting to talk to you it means she likes you.. He's an idiot. But he also has Reactive attachment disorder.. It's been a struggle :(
so you triggered an avoidant by taking away their independence (thats how they see it) and they pushed for space so your giving up?
if your in the beginning stages of the relationship (6-12 months) you really have no reason to be talking to them all the time unless the desire to do so is mutual.
@@anthonyward2433 It was mutual.
Move on. If someone broke up with you over something as stupid as Netflix..imagine what happens when there is a real problem to deal with lol.
Had a guy I was crazy about break up with me for another women. I was heart broken. We remained friends. Texting and even meeting a couple times for drinks. You are
Correct coach…friendship only benefits them. I was hurting but slowly got over it. He ended up marrying the women. That was the day NC started. It was a natural progression for both of us. But low and behold 10 months later I get a text from him. He misses his friend. Meaning me.
We talked briefly several times. But honestly I am just not interested. I let the texting fade away. He is married and I don’t have time to be giving energy to someone who is just bored. Plus I don’t think it’s appropriate. He choose her…so enjoy your life. I will not be stroking his ego. Bye!
I love you both you guys are awesome. Auntie Margaret and Uncle Craig have all the answers.
Got dumped without warning or explanation, after trying to make contact with her on 2 occasions, I have gone NC.. and I don't care if she comes back now. I have met a younger woman, who has such a fantastic happy disposition, and she adores me, so I have moved on. If my ex contacts me, it will be "sorry but you pissed on your chips" too late now. She isn't coming back! Promise!😮
She doesn't want me back despite spending New Year with MY friends (I was away). It's really ruffled my feathers knowing she was so close but so far. I _must_ have crossed her mind but had no message from her. I really miss her and pine for her back still, but I'm miles better as a man now so the separation was needed for perspective. Love and life is so hard. Thanks both, as always.
Work on yourself bro stop worrying about her! Once you have the mindset of transforming to a better man you'll have other women attractive to you and eventually she'll reach out but by then your feelings will be completely gone
@@EJayyDreadHead I can't imagine my feelings being completely gone. She was the first GF I lived with, my second long-term relationship, had so much going for her and should have been my wife and mother to my children. But I wasn't 'ready' and now I feel very stupid. It's hard not to worry about her.
My next steps are to get back in the gym and redecorate my place. I have sorted my head and life goals out, so these two things are next on my list to boost my self-esteem. It's so shit to have to go through this to be a better man, but I was never going to be when with my ex. I needed this period of introspection.
Thank you for your reply, btw : )
@@MikeJackson690 you're going through separation anxiety and depression* it may take you months to fully heal* but nothing lasts forever so eventually you'll move on with your life yes continue to be in the gym and build your money up have a abundance mindset just focus on you. results come fast be confident bro we all go through hell by a individual* keep your head up you'll be ok 💪🏾
Definitely need a video on Bipolar 2 disorder and how no contact could effect them being the dumpee .
Going thru this right now. I love your videos because you always add that you've been thru it too. Many experts like to be above it, but its almost therapeutic to know that it does get better
Thank you for this video!! You both are amazing💙 Just one complaint...you took too long to post a new video...ha...btw that apple bee's girl lost a good person. What was she thinking??? Love you both😊
They know how to contact if they want to. If you don't trust yourself to follow no contact to the T, delete their number and mutuals, unfollow them on social media etc. Make it impossible for you to get back in touch. That's what I've been doing.
I traveled back home from the UK to Italy, but my ex was often on my mind. What worries me is that it has now been 6 months and I still have moments in which I get upset and have pangs of emotional pain which I wasn’t expecting to still have at this stage. I think I need a therapist because the emotional pain is difficult for me to manage and it takes over my life at times. I think the cause isn’t just the thoughts tied to my ex, it’s something deeper and unresolved, a chronic problem I have carrying with me for years.
Roberto Schneider I can relate to the depth of that pain, to my understanding it has to stem with our attachment type/childhood trauma. Personally I am taking a spiritual path to try to heal my soul. I am 2.5 months post break up. My fiancé broke it off via text (wedding was booked for this past NYE) and he blocked me. I attempted to contact him 2 weeks after break up via email and he was so mean. I wasn’t radio silent. I closed all my social media accounts, stopped talking to his daughters and friends....ghost. It’s been incredibly hard,, not a day has gone by I haven’t cried. It’s cut deeper than anything I’ve ever experienced. I went and had a Reiki session, having another one this Friday. As well I booked an apt to have past life regression session with a hypnotherapist in hopes to release trauma. I am slowly trying to practice meditation, I am hooked on Amazon prime audible books, I am not listening to “He’s Scared, She’s Scared”. I am having huge ah ha moments that I hope will help me heal. I wish you well ❤️
Tina Horn so sorry, it’s sad to read what you have had to endure, it must have been even harder for you since it was supposed to end in marriage in your case. Time cures all but it’s very hard. I need therapy because otherwise these patterns will return in every relationship. I like that you have turned to audible books and hypnosis. I will consider those as ways to snap out of the current condition which at times is a nightmare
Roberto Schneider it’s better, I found out last week he married another woman on 12/26, 2 months after breaking it off with me and days before our wedding date for NYE...he posted pictures on FB and our pictures still up, like who does that ??
I had to be the dumper telling him to take space and when he figured it out he should let me know. I gave him my whole heart, accepted him, his children, helped and supported building his business. We saw each other every day for coffee and he just got distance and when i talk about it things will go better for a few weeks and then again. I couldn't take this anymore so today is day 8th and man its difficult.he still come to the place where we had coffee but we dont talk i want to talk to him badly but i cant he needs to feel what he lost and what i meant to him😭💔
I’m petrified she’ll go off with someone else though. I don’t want my son growing up calling someone else dad.
No matter what as long as you remain a steady presence in your sons life you will be the one and only dad
Guys, just trust me on this one. If you actually stop giving a fu** you will be suprised to be called by a random number or your ex mirroring your social media moves even if they blocked you(they watch with fske accounts) maybe they watch your best friends story to see what ur doing. So stop giving a f*** and you'll be suprised what the universe does for you. Keep your peace stay healthy. Peace out
Happy new year Coach Craig and Coach Margaret. I'm doing no contact for a month. I didn't contact my ex to wish his birthday, Christmas and a new year. It's really hard but as he struggles from his new job in a foreign country, I think I shound't bother him now.