Does Your Ex Secretly Care What You're Doing?
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- Опубліковано 8 лип 2024
- Does your ex secretly care about what you're doing? Does your ex care about you more than you think? Probably! Oftentimes after a breakup our ex becomes cold and even cruel. They act like they don't care about you anymore. This is often a defense to keep you from pursuing them or giving you the idea they want to repair things. Because right after the breakup, they are often the most confident about their decision. You must stay focused on personal growth at this point, improve your attachment issues to become confident and you will be far more likely to re-attract them when they miss you and reconsider repairing things.
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Improve your chances of re-attracting your ex with Craig's workbook series: www.askcraig.net/workbooks-1/
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I had a skype with Craig and it was amazing!! I had lots of doubts because i am the one that ended with my ex. We are long distance. She lives in Romania and i live in Utah. My ex dated someone instantly after and thus made me regret my choice. Sometimes i still have doubts that i could ever get her back because we are so far apart but then i remember what craig and i talked about. He still thinks i got a shot back with her. I am working to get the work books and have another skype as soon as i can!
I'm glad I could help. And thank you for the kind words!
@@sloanmagnum5009 used? Not at all. haha. I'll stick with what Craig told me but thank you.
Very nice comment. Yeah the fact she dated someone immediately shows she’s trying to outsource her pain and she most likely would take you back
What if she sleeps with the new guy already. Is that going to disturb your feeling for her
@@LG-ly7pw she’s hurting because he hurts her but for him he’s hurting because he regrets rejecting her and someone got her.
If your absence doesn’t bother them .. Your presence probably never meant anything to them.
Oof well said
@@mycenth22 Thank you … similar messages helped me when I was in a bad place, hope it helps others 🙏🏻
Best comment I've seen about break ups... ever! (I am brazilian).
On the money 🎯💯
Maybe. But feelings change, so *right* *now* they aren't feeling that way. But your presence obviously did mean something to them, or they wouldn't have been with you. And even if your absence doesn't bother them now doesn't necessarily mean it won't in the future. They got into a relationship with you, and got out of a relationship with you. Feelings change, which means that they could change the other way. People feel one way in one set of circumstances and a different way with other circumstances. Letting them feel your absence (the consequences of their actions of breaking up) can lead them to feel like they made a mistake. We're human and we make decisions based on feelings that we may come to regret later. That's why I don't resent my ex - she had a set of circumstances that caused feelings that may be subject to change upon further reflection. Bitterness and absolutes aren't helpful, we're mere mortals after all....
What’s funny is that, my ex told me to move on. When I did, she became extremely angry at me lol.
My ex asked me to pack her things and give it to her. When I did it, she got upset lol. That's women for you.
@@fernvill27 Attraction works so weird
I used to watch these videos religiously to give myself some sort of hope that my ex wanted me back, now one year later and a new guy has sparked my interest. healing is a beautiful thing!
What causes the break up?
@@alanzo428 there was a lot of build up to it honestly, but he did the breaking up. absolutely got my heart broken and it was completely out of my control.
I can’t wait to be in your shoes; 10months in 💔 mis her so much we still hang out she’s hot and cold & we have kids
Did your ex ever reach out to you???
@@archangelelmo not to get back together or anything, he'd reach out occasionally to see how I'm doing. he's actually married now to the girl he got with a month after we broke up lol.
I’m well past my last breakup and have moved on for the most part by dating and enjoying other people , but I still enjoy listening to you guys. I still think about my ex but not in the obsessive way that I once did. I have a friend who told me what’s meant to be will come back around for you again so try not to worry about it. That gave me some peace.
I feel you 😢
I dont believe they care what you r doing if they are in a new relationship/friendship/situationship whatever....they r focusing on the new one and living their best life...
Yeah if they did the dumping they are most likely on to something new and more exciting. The idea of them thinking about you is wishful thinking I believe. Maybe you’d cross their mind here and there but not in a positive way as if they’d want you back. This idea of the dumper coming back to the ex is foreign to me, I’ve never seen or experienced it. Maybe it happens in rare occasions but the break up usually occurs for a very good reason and things will be clearly understood by the person doing the dumping and they are able to walk away freely. The one who got dumped will likely be hurt and confused and want more answers as to what happened and what went wrong. There will likely be a lot of trauma and healing will need to take place to fix the damage of the failed relationship. Especially if things were going well and the break up was quite sudden, it will be a long road ahead for that person and just sitting around hoping your ex is thinking and caring about you won’t be a good thing that will help them move on.
***THIS IS IMPORTANT*** check your find my iphone settings and make sure you’ve deleted people you don’t want to know where you are from it. I was in no contact for two months with my ex when he broke it and ended up eventually telling me that he was checking my location all the time… that I had been to an apartment complex and another city… and even that I stopped at chipotle on the way back…. Even if they aren’t reaching out… they may still have an obsessive curiosity. Whether its just a game to them and they’re curious, or it’s something that could turn dangerous is not something you want to risk!!!! CHECK YOUR PHONE SETTINGS!
The pain today was UNBEARABLE! I never knew a human could feel so much pain and Still be alive 😢 Hope to come back with a success story.
On my millionth cup of tea ( not literally) Which is what I like to call " a hug in a cup" 🤗 so when you can't have a real hug, make yourself a cup of tea 🤣 Hello from Dublin Ireland Craig and Victoria
We know how you feel.. 😞💛 Much love from the Netherlands.
The pain will go over, revisit this comment in 6 months.
Well yes, the pain will be less comparing to the beginning. But after 11 months it still hurts a lot for me. Everyone is different.
Hugs everyone ❤️ Another anxiety riddled day ahead for me but trying so hard to stay strong. Break ups are so tough. I hope you all have your desired outcome ❤️
I’m at 11 months-ugh, the pain. They’re constantly on my mind. Coach Craig said in a different video that when you can’t stop thinking about your ex, it’s because they’re thinking of you more. I wish I could stop the madness.
My ex saw me at a concert last fall. I didn’t see her but my friend with me did. He said she looked shocked and disgusted to see me. She has a new boyfriend who she has been with for awhile now. The fact she couldn’t ignore acknowledging seeing me makes me wonder how happy she really is with her life now. She was not loyal and narcissistic when she was dating me.
I literally saw a video from 1 year ago and was like damn Victoria should break out that lace joint again. 👌🏽 Thats the one girl.
Coach Craig is a f****** legend!
Great presentation Coaches. Thanks for the insight and encouragement.
Thank you both for regularly making videos to navigate mental health and relationships ❤
Coach Victoria is a gem. Such a great addition. I know she was behind the scenes before but she's good!
Great video bro
What a great video with personal testimonials from Vicky and Craig!! We need more info on that breakup Vicky went through and how the tables turned on her unexpectedly! This video made people’s anxiety go from Threat Level Midnight to Zero Dark Thirty in a matter of 20 minutes
Yes. It’s like posting on social media that you’re doing super fun stuff. But it’s sort of fake. Those post instead, where you genuinely are happy and posting, lift you! ❤
Victoria laugh is so adorable
Coach Victoria is fine!!!
How do you even heal though. I’ve been doing work on myself, exercising, therapy, hanging out with friends. Then the second my head hits the pillow I’m weeping again. Dreaming of her in my sleep.
It’s insane bro I devalued my ex so much and now that she’s gone I regret not treating her the way I should have
Two family members to whom I was very close to, passed away within the last 6 months. Wasn't expecting something crazy like my ex getting back together, but was hoping for at least a text from them sending condolences or something. I'm disappointed, honestly. Like I don't even know them anymore
Did they break up with you may I ask? And also was it posted on social media etc about the losses? Are they aware you’ve lost people close to you ? I’m sorry for to losses 💙
It's difficult to maneuver the breakup with mutual friends. I fear I screwed up my year of NC when my ex was asking about me before Christmas and our mutual friend told me that I'm not ready to talk to her etc. Seems like a minor thing but just thinking. Sometimes I also think in a bit immature way that my friends shouldn't be friends with my ex. Because if they are I see that my ex went through the breakup unscathed. I wasn't perfect either. Acted like a crazy person the fourth time getting dumped. If only...had I found these videos before. But been dumped multiple times and riding a rollercoaster of emotions. It fucks up your mind especially if you have a poor mental healt and are a very needy person yourself.
Day 79 of NC.
@@PaulW1954 Thanks for that, its orders of magnitude easier now than when I started. How many times have they reached out in the 502?
They are “ over it” or else wouldn’t have left..now whether they change their minds is completely different
Why don’t they just Block you for good if they’re over you ? Don’t keep playing mind games and just be done.
What makes you curious is how they act after a couple years.
Dated my highschool sweetheart for 10 years on and off. We both worked at the same restaurant and at the time we were broken up for about a year and some months. I found out one of the other guy servers was going to ask her out and all of my feelings changed that very night. So I went and got her back. Rocked with her for a few more years and even now I'm regretting the ending of the relationship. I even became the dumpee in my next relationship and look back going man.... we'd probably be married by now.
Dynamic duo
I really like listening to both of you. Both my gf and I are avoidant's. She's still talking to guys she's been intimate with. I'm having a hard time processing everything. We're not talking to each other. I will get through this.
He watches my stories every day if I put one up
How do you know?
This video is literally so on time 😂been broken up for 6 months at this point and he’s actually in a new/ rebound relationship but keeps checking my stories and even replies 🤷🏻♀️I kid you not he’s mostly the first one to view my stories.. I’ve got no clue why he’s doing it. I muted him since we split 😅
My ex broke up with me 11 months ago. Complete NC ever since. Like you, I muted him on social media because it would have been too painful to see him moving on. But he has watched all my stories ever since! Then last week out of the blue, he turned up at my door! He was returning a raggy old t-shirt of mine I’d completely forgotten about. I wasn’t in so my neighbour took it in for me. When I asked her for a description it confirmed to me that it was him. So strange!
The title made me laugh and just go “hahaha, heck no she doesn’t, I’m not even a blip on her radar”
She’s living it up having a blast with friends, concerts, traveling and I’m sitting around miserable and hurting.
Thank you.. ❤ Hes not an ex just a guy that i dated. I'm an avoidant but i still want him. I've haven't had a relationship since my ex died 4 years ago. So i got scared when he showed to much feelings.. He blocked my one month ago.. 💔 And i work with him.. 😑 I don't know what to do anymore..
My ex has looked straight in my eye without the life I'd seen him with in the past, with an expression I've seen him give no other person. In the moment I wonder if this is the same person.
7:30 I had to break up with someone a year ago because I just knew she was playing me and sabotaging the relationship. I discovered she was a toxic drama-hungry mean-spirited untrustworthy narcissist (not to throw around the buzzword because we all have narcissistic traits to an extent, but hers were very pronounced. I did not regret breaking up with her whatsoever, I moved on very quickly to someone else without ever looking back. But when I did the breakup, I said exactly this "I hope you find someone nice". I meant every word, she got really quiet, as if shocked, and I gave her a hug before she left. Thankfully I never heard anything back from her, good riddance. You don't want people like that in your life.
At minute 4.25 seconds...."They keep it to themself". May l suggest that's probably one of the main factors in the demise of the relationship, maybe they were keeping too much to Themselves and not communicating.
Love you too 🙏❤️
My ex went so cold after all that time, it was shocking. She made herself look evil. And in fact, it turned me off her. I dont want someone this nasty!
Hi, Coach, my ex started viewing my stories again about 4 weeks into no contact and started watching them quicker and quicker... Then, out of nowhere, she stopped viewing them again... Is this a bad sign that they've completely moved on? We're coming up on 8 weeks no contact
It been 10 month not even 1 hr I spent not thinking about her... But she dont care . She is happy to hurt me. She just changed in 1 day after 3 year relationship... So traumatic
Craig
I was lefted by my LDRS for his new girl. He said he followed his heart and he interested her since 8yrs. Now they are together and arrange to get married one month after ending up with me. I considered him for life and always with him in his bad or good moments. I supported him a lot. But he never care about me.
He never publish about our ldrs. It is like secret relationship.
I dont know his new relationship will have good ending with marriage or not. For me it is really difficult to move on with no contact.
How long am avoidant takes to fall in love. Do they tell you I love you 😢
I watched your Can No Contact Backfire? video. I'm worried NC is making my ex lose interest. Even though he asked me to stay talking/seeing each other as friends I remained radio silent since the day he dumped me. Yet he has watched/ liked every single one of my stories and posts every day. It's day 12. He is now avoiding me on Social Media. Liking mutual friends' posts and is active online but not watching/liking mine anymore. He is FA but leans anxious and is very insecure, I'm worried he feels shunned and is moving on already.
12 days is not long enough, go out live your life and he’ll get jealous soon enough
Haha day 12; my exes came back months of not years after strap in for a long one if it comes & you keep bettering yourself; I’m sorry but it’s true.
Did you start to want him back Coach Victoria?
regardless of what they say do you believe the wonder what you are doing
What if your ex is moving to another country? They said they will never come back… He sounds serious when he says it?
How should i handle the situation I'm in now. We were together 15yrs, have a 13yr old daughter together, eve been split up a year ago, she got into a relationship right away, moved in within a day of walking out. They broke up a month ago, she started coming back around again, trying new she still loves me, was flirting, kissing me, but then went cold, then started calling and texting again. But now she's gone cold and told our daughter that they're trying to work things out. She's been sleeping there, but calls when she's not there. I've gone no contact, I've come to far in the past year to have all these emotions and feelings come back. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
What if the dumper has had secret lover for few months prior to dumping (my wife dumping me) and now im moved out to secret location with no contact from today. Can the dumper miss and be curious about my life after a while? Or she very likely be on new open love track with the other new guy never thinking about me again. Thanks guy great channel
It’s a hit or miss I guess time will tell you if she really did fall in love with the new guy and ran off into the sunset or if she will fail and come crawling back crying a river
Unfortunately he doesn't know my family or friends,he hasn't even read messages from teh days ago,im not on social media,he is most likely,but i really don't think he's worrying,thinking about me,i dont think he ever really cared, he's a narcissist avoidant
Thank you.. ❤️He's not an ex he's just a co worker er that i dated.. I'm an avoidant , But i still want him. I've haven't had any relationship since my ex died 4 years ago. And I got scared when he showed me to much feelings. He blocked me one month ago.. It's painful seeing him at work. I don't know what to do anymore.... 😢
Have you tried talking to him in person maybe? I would work on yourself too and own up to what really happened, I'm sure that if he cares he will empathize with what traumas you have gone through and be understanding. Try to work on being comfortable talking about how you are feeling too if that is an option for you
@@StaticCollapse He unblocked me a few months ago. But it's a rollercoaster ride with him.. He has ADHD and can change his mood really quick.. 🌋 But i still want him.
Does the no contact get ruined if the dumper is the one who initiate contact? I feel like I have to start from scratch every time he’s broken NC. With every interaction I sense that he needs time to process all over again 😢
Tell him not to contact you unless it’s for romantic exploration. You’re not interested in being his pen pal
Breadcrumbing
Is mailing their shit back to them breaking no contact or putting the nail in the coffin, don’t want her to think I’m holding her shit to get her to text me
But don’t want her to think I hate her guts by sending it back. Just her clothes
Yes a video on this would help!
Secretly he is doing worse things now he is writing a play ,describing me a bad character.
I got hit by a car ...she didn't care .. but I fucked up so 🤷🏻♂️ did no contact for 2 years did me and my thing she came back now she's "scared" 😂 she's actually bread crumbing 😂 I'll play the games too .. going back to no contact 🤷🏻♂️ bye bye it's summer time fun time
its kind of funny , I rly like you guis, you helped me a lot, but..... you never or at least from what I hear in all your videos rebounded with one of your exes...... is that true?
If you’re rebounding with your ex I’m going to need you to go to therapy.
My ex ended things with me a little over 7 months ago and since then I have gotten into another relationship. Even though I am in another relationship and its been months I still think about my ex often. Is that bad for the relationship I am in now? I care about my current gf a lot and I wish I could stop thinking about my ex so much.
Depends , this ex of yours , would you take her back if she returned right now ? If your feelings are just too strong for your ex this new found love might not vanquish those feelings this might hurt both of y’all bc there’s no point in telling someone you like them when your heart is somewhere else and not with what is in front of you (imo)
It's normal I think of all my ex once in a while.
@@mysterybox8837 No, I don't think I would. I think it may have more to do with not having closure. The break-up came out of nowhere one day after work barely a month after I had quit my job and moved to a different state to move-in together. She never really gave me a reason (I am 99% sure she wasnt cheating). Other than that, the first month of living together had gone great. We had small issues which is nothing out of the ordinary when first moving in with somebody. The relationship I have now is much better for me though. My ex was like me (introverted), but my gf now is much more outgoing and pushes me to do try new things. We have a great relationship, but still my ex continually pops into my head. I still wonder why she ended things the way she did.
@@samlusby4576 see that’s kinda scummy , you obviously made sacrifices for this person and weren’t playing games , but I can guarantee you there’s a reason ,nothing happens just because yk ? But in all reality I think your closure is usually in your eyes , “ they gave up “ Ik you want the reason but that’s kinda the main point of it all and it sucks but I think you’ll be better of if you close the curiosity gap bc she obviously called it quits and well you have this new love and for all you know this could be what’s meant for you
Sadly I am still not convinced most of them really do care. I am in my late 50s and it has never happened to me. Once the door closed behind them, never saw or heard from any of them again in any meaningful way.
@LoriP408 can I ask if you reached out to any of your exes?
@@yellowtheresunshine yes, on some occasions in the days before email. There is one ex I talk to maybe once every 3 years but there was never any effort to get back together. Another I talked to once on the phone, 29 years after the breakup, over a legal matter. We had a nice talk and the ex admitted to thinking about me a lot, but never reached out despite being virtually homeless for a while. I said, you could have come back as I cried over you every night for months but eventually met someone else. I could almost hear a sob on the other end. But I have never had a 2nd chance with anyone. Hope this changes with my current breakup. I am devastated.
Oh, wait, there was one 12 Step accountability letter with the ex apologizing for taking drugs during our relationship. But that is all it said.
Alas, I do not personally know anyone who has had an ex come back, nc or not. I wish it were different. I hope it comes true for me this time because I am about to give up on relationships for good. Well, except for my late father, who reunited with his ex some 50 years later. That's a long time to wait..I would be 108!
Do you care about them?
But what if you have no social media,? How can they see that u have changed etc etc?
Why would you need your ex to notice if you have changed? If you are changing for your own good then you don't need to prove such changes to anyone but yourself. Unless of course you are trying to get your ex back. It's just a thought, but if there are no means through which you and your ex might occasionally come into contact (e.g. mutual friends, clubs/societies, locale, workplace etc) then could that be a sign that you both had nothing in common and weren't a great match??
FYI Social media does not help portray people accurately because it's entirely controlled. We decide on the image we want to create and decide on content that supports said image. In theory, every facebook profile page contains a mix of truth and lies and most people expect an amount of embellishment. Ex partners on the other hand will be more than aware of their ex's attempt to convince them that they're out there having a great time being single and have moved on with the greatest of ease, or even going so far as to try and make them jealous by posting countless images of them with certain people.
@@roberttruman8444 pimpin I've said that before, I totally agree 👍
What if they blocked you?
So now she’s no longer married and we’re not together they finally got each other to themselves
she posted a tik tok saying “me after tripping over someone knowing i don’t gaf” lol wtf does that mean
She knew you’d watch it and question everything.
She’s doing it to make you mad. We’re petty when we’re hurt
@moneyman she sounds young but I don’t think the Z is a direct clue..
yea we’re 20
My ex did this he posted “her : do you miss me .. “ && the video was of a person playing basketball making all the shots saying he basically don’t miss me he deleted it after I liked it 😂
I don’t think he care.. he’s living his best life with the girl he always cheated with..
@@adrij4961 yeah I have to look at like this.. But I feel like he gave her what she wanted and hurt me.. 3.5 yrs for nothing
I was a cheater long time ago. I can tell you that cheaters are very selfish people. If they cheated on you, they don't love you anymore or they never did.
@@OS253 wow.. welp there you have it.. Maybe he didn’t love me
if he did that to you then just think of what she has to deal with now let the trash take each other out
Yeah why is me ex mad I’m moving on. She monkey branched and I’ve been in NC now for two months
Have you noticed the intro at just about every one of my videos? See intro
My god, Victoria you look gorgeous, you took my breath away 😍😍 if u available someday give me a call!!
Creepy. Wtf dude? Not cool.
Ew. Keep doing this and you’ll be single forever lol
My ex left me, deleted me off Facebook, tik tok, but will comment on my memes, like then unlike don't get it lol
My ex gf broke up with me two months ago and I still have the same strong feelings as I did before it happened. I don’t think I’ll ever move on from this girl and I think I’m gonna reach out to her soon and tell her how I feel. She texts me every once in a while and we’re on good terms but I want more. I think I’ve given her enough time to be alone but maybe I should give it another month, what do y’all think?
Ik u might not wanna hear this but wait for her to come back to u I reached out after awhile we were on good terms and she just got colder now I’m in full no contact till she reaches out
@@nathanmelendez8281 should I at least contact her and keep our relationship alive. I want her to remain in my life and she feels the same way. I just haven’t been the one to ever initiate contact up until this point
@@nathanmelendez8281 btw how long did you wait after the breakup to try and reconnect
Idk what she saying but I guess it’s a good sign if she reaching out once in a while. Maybe she is breadcrumbing you who knows, just give her the break up. That’s what she wanted so that’s what she is getting. The moment you put all your feelings on the table you will probably relieve them from the fear of losing you. I’d say be patient and don’t be too eager, and when she says something significant be reserved. Don’t reject her but don’t be too inviting. Coming back has to be her idea. I think it will be a big mistake if you’re going to contact her to pour all your feelings over her, it’ll probably make it worse. Please respect yourself and give it time.
@@motrolleur7368very well said happened to me.
The timing of this video is ridiculous
Get help for your situation on my website AskCraig.net
I’ve been following you for a long time coach.. I appreciate all the videos. 🫶🏼