Communicate with Empathy
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- Опубліковано 22 тра 2024
- Learn how can you communicate with empathy, compassion, and impact and hear examples of communicating with empathy in my drive-through experience at McDonald's. Free Download pdf Quick Guide to Professional Communication Skills: www.alexanderlyon.com/
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Communication Coach, this channel, helps rising leaders like you increase your impact and lead your teams with more excellence. The channel focuses on communication skills for leaders, presentation skills, group and team skills, and conversation skills. If you're looking for self-paced communication skills training, this is the channel for you.
Empathy is needed between departments at work. Sometimes it feels like we are not people but service providers.
Yes, there can be a clear lack of empathy between departments. Good example.
I agree. Work is serving people. Customers. But it's also about serving each other. Co-workers. That human connection has to be there.
True usually we give empathy but don't receive it
i dont understand how do i become more empathetic???? Every vid speaks about what empathy is and examples of it , but im struggling to find out how to BE empathetic with people.
Me too
Maybe I could help? What I do is try to remember a time I felt the same way. The memory that comes to mind may be very different from this particular situation, but I recall and focus on how I felt. I try to feel and relive that memory all over again. That’s how I see that same emotion in them. Me and the other person may have had a very different scenario but the emotion is the same. That’s what relates us as humans, we all feel sadness/anger/happiness. We just experience emotions differently by having different triggers/scenarios. You may not understand their trigger or how the situation itself provoked said emotion. But ask yourself why did you feel that way in your memory? We don’t fully know why. We may have trauma, but everyone reacts differently to situations. So what was traumatic to you, may not have been to someone else. It’s nobody’s fault. It doesn’t mean something is wrong with you, it’s what makes us human.
Even after reading this thread i still have no clue how to be empathetic. Straight up, and i dunno if this makes me a sociopath, I don’t personally care how people feel or how i can relate to them. I have zero issues with people and i work on my shadows by way of Jungian individuation and attend men support groups and go to therapy and counseling and i straight don’t give a f**k about relating to other’s emotions and this isn’t trolling, this is my honest truth. Perhaps when i read the art of not giving a fuck i may have read it a little too deeply 😂 and on the flip side I’m not very sympathetic either. Maybe I’m a cyborg
@@hcplsmf You should make a vid on this
You say put urself in their shoes... I do I do that on firsts contact. When John greets you, he has no idea of your state of mind. He projects his positive attitude toward you... then he gouges his response... there is no way he can empathize on contact. I'm not sure I agree with everything you layout in the video.
The saddest part about empathy is that people generally only seek to be empathetic to those who they like. It actually becomes more difficult to be empathetic towards those we do not feel drawn to, and that is a shame. Perhaps compassion helps too when we have trouble feeling empathy towards people we don't feel connected to.
Very true. Excellent point. I have a video on compassion as well and it makes some of the connections you're talking about.
That's most of people these days
Exactly we don't know what others go through
My husband has attachment issues, hates change & when I have a different opinion. His frustrations are many & loud. I get triggered by anger & yelling. I'm healing and learning to detach better. I want to learn how to be more empathic with him without losing myself or enabling abuse, cuz he has a high need to be heard. I need actual scrips to practice so they eventually become more natural rather than fight, flight or freeze.
If people could communicate with empathy to address issues like racism, people would be able to connect more.
Agreed. Empathy opens a lot of doors, especially the doors in our hearts.
Yes it shows that empathy can be taught and practiced. I noticed that allot of videos focus on 'good people' interactions but it can also be used to calm down violently prone people by giving validation and verbilising empathy. It is a great tool in such work. I know I work with such people and I am amazed how effective it's use. Mirroring and labelling. Of being genuine. .. it is not a parlour trick either as one had to listen properly. Great Vid 👍
Thanks, Brian.
It's actually so satisfying to listen to you talk. You don't make any mistakes or filler words. It makes me want to live in a world where everyone (including me) would speak like that 😁
I think empathy should be practiced in our daily life . We as a human being it's necessary to connect with each other . So for connecting with each other u must know the concept empathy.
The world needs more people like "John." Oh and easy on the Egg McMuffins, Alex :)
Egg McMuffins are my guilty pleasure, for sure. Ha. And, yes, I we do need more people like him. There's more to the story, too. A co-worker heard me talking to him and came to the window and said, "I know! Isn't he great?" and went on to talk about how awesome he is with customers (and I'm sure great to work with, too).
I’m learning how to show more empathy towards my wife. I love her and care about her well-being, however I’ve been going about it the wrong way and now I know that when she is expressing something, I should pretend is me expressing something. That way I know how to better show empathy
I have another video on listening with empathy that might be helpful. It comes in very handy with my wife.
@@alexanderlyon I will go find it now!
I like this way of thinking I’ll give it a try
@@jordanmonfort8368 growing up, boys are never taught to listen to their partner. If we listen, they give us all the answers to how to make them happy, and in return, they’ll make us happy and it’s a win-win for both parties because we’re both giving 100%
Thank you again for a fantastic service.
You have put in very precise thought to guide us - How to be a little more kind/empathetic/ thoughtful - in our daily life
Loved this video
Alex, it was a wonderful video that i have gone through over some period. The situations that you wanted from us to say in which all communication we need more empathy, whether it is emotional or happy moments, is that most required in the Corporate World, where we all humans come together for common objectives. But heartening to see, that it is not in practice!!
This video is talking about why empathy is good, but i wanted to understand how to show empathy...
Hi, Leo. It's not so much about a specific list of behaviors that work in every case because each person is feeling different emotions to connect to. Still, some of the behaviors I mentioned in the video are a caring facial expression, eye contact, genuine words, and tailoring your messages and nonverbals to connect to the specific person. But, again, these will look different every time, which is why I didn't want to make a video where I acted like I had empathy. So, I just can't say that there's just a few specific ways to show empathy. I know that is what you were looking for but that was not my goal for this video. If you put yourself in the other person's shoes and feel what they are feeling, your mindset will lead you to show your empathy in helpful ways through various nonverbal and verbal behaviors.
yes we can use this in church. Steven in the book of acts had to me empathy for the people and that was his drive through mc.donalds serving the people. This was a good I opening.
What an essentially important topic....people always want to feel cared for....I want to learn how can I make each one I speak to, feel so. More Power to you, the Johns in our midst!
Βless you for your work and your motivation power, Alex!! Hope you the best !!!
Thank you. You too!
great video. helpful
Hi I'm a recovering addict and I speek alot to men woman and children about addict when I talk I try to remember where I came for and what I've accomplished. I like talking about how I feel and how I thought when I first came in to this progress . That I found hope and a purpose with helping others
Great video! You teach very well. Thanks.
Hello Mr. Lyon, I really find you video as an empathy discovering guide, thank you for sharing it, and let me tell you that I'll watch it a couple of times more to really make practice your advice. I work for customer service, and I am in the total willing to have that impact with my customer's as well.
How amazing this topic! Thanks.
I struggle with empathy at work. I work in a call center for a bank and it’s so hard for me to show empathy
Me too !! I don't feel the connection. I hope with this second job opportunity, I can truly connect with people. Wish you the best, Ale
It is generally harder to be empathetic over the phone, since you can't pick up on subtle signs and facial expressions, not to mention the fact that you're not in-person.
My advice is simply: Put on a happy face and enjoy being helpful.
Me too.
SAME LITERALLY ME THATS WHY IM HERE
I can put myself in someone's shoes and understand what they are feeling.. but if I am being disrespected through someone's projections... am I just supposed to grin and bare that? Because if I don't then I am not "empathetic" towards them.....? Anybody help explain this. :/ Because there are better ways to communicate with someone to show how you're feeling.. it isn't being rude or ugly to others who are simply doing a job.. ?
Love this! Customers and clients respond very positively when using empathy in a professional setting. I think I could benefit from applying these skills in a more casual setting when talking to coworkers, etc. I shouldn’t turn off my empathy skills just because it’s not a client. Thanks Alex!!
Hey Bennet. Great to hear from you! I think you do have a lot of empathy from what I've seen.
great segment!!!!
Thanks, man. I appreciate it.
I appreciate the message - empathy is so important! I discuss this in the last video on my channel as well, in the context of inner peace, from a parenting perspective. I hope messages like ours empower people to practice empathy! I just subscribed to your channel too, keep up the content.
Thank you for the encouragement, Brian. Good luck with your channel! It's hard at first but it picks up speed over time. I looked at a few minutes of your most recent video. You have an important message to share!
@@alexanderlyon Thanks so much! Yeah the most important thing is to grow through the content.
I need more emphatic in my relationship with my family. Please post more videos about empathy, there are not many of them.
Great video i watched it twice to really remember it
I need more empathy. With my best friend and how I communicate and care about her feelings
I have a recent video on *_What is Empathy_* and 3 Ways to Practice it. It might be helpful. It came out a few weeks ago. ua-cam.com/video/TrbLsa1iDVk/v-deo.html
Yes I like your video on empathy and I could use a little more empathy on pretty much everything I'm too stiff when I talk and don't know how to respond. The only problem I have is I wish your video was longer and would teach a person how to exactly use empathy instead of just giving one example. Because I think I would need a class to teach me how to properly use it so I would learn how to correctly use it. Because what I think is empathy somebody else might not think it's empathy or not enough empathy. So my question to you is do you have an actual class or you just saying examples and that's it?
basically people who dislikes the video doesnt connect the persons pov. so they are simply examples of not emphatizing ones saying in short they have no empathy
thank you coach
Im always in empathy. 🙏💕🙏💕🙏💕
Im a social path trying to learn this for my own benefit,thank you
Use your powers for good and not evil.
I would think for my work and family.
I think that empathy is needed more in a marriage. Typically, we think that husband and wife already know each other so well. However, they still might preceive things differently.
More required in the situation of medical emergency with others and financial crisis with him/her
Give doctors more time to actually be with their patients instead of forcing them to rush and you’d prbly get more empathy. Can you empathize with them?
I need help with being sensitive, I tend to get annoyed when people ask questions that I wouldn't even have to think to answer. When I put myself in their shoes I still don't see how they didn't see it. I also have a problem communicating with people that could be described as "over sensitive" or "dramatic". Even when I bite my tongue some how I'm still being mean, I don't know what to do.
Be the patient teacher. People don't know what they don't know. No question is dumb. If they don't know the answer, it's not dumb. But you have the answers. You can teach them. Just be patient and it will come.
everything you said is what i experience. honestly it’s very irritating
If you really struggle with communication it's possible you could have Aspergers
Thats me
I love that you are able to be curious and ask. You are self aware, 99 out of 100%! :)
Negative people are drawn to me, I'm a positive person so this is very very hard for me to not feel them. I'm tired of picking everyone up EXHAUSTED
In another video from a couple of weeks ago, I talk about the concept of hyper-empathy that causes people a lot of trouble. It's in the video *_What is Empathy_* and it's toward the end of that. In essence, it is important to maintain healthy boundaries so we don't take on other people's problems as if they are our own problems. It's draining and can lead to burnout and then we can't be at our best when it's the most important.
I know what you mean going through the same things
🙋🏼♀️ sir! My BF is so emphatic 🥰🤗🫠 he's so awesome. 😎
Thank u so much honey!
Thank you for this video! I totally agree about the power of empathy, I've just started my own youtube channel too 💜
Awesome. Good luck with your channel!
@@alexanderlyon Thank you 💜
dear Alex.....to be a good trainer what do you recommend me? i mean which subject help me better?...thank you
If it is in-person training then I highly recommend getting great at public speaking.
I need this as emphathy is not my cup of tea. I need to learn this..
I have way too much I think. I cant be in crowds at all without feeling everyone in the room. I'm so up and down. How does one block when needing to?
You need to step into the other person's shoe to b empathetic..but how does one analyze n get to know the other person ? Plz explain, I require that for bizz negotiations with clients
Well, it's not really about getting to know the person as much as it is attempting to see the world through their eyes, understand their position, their feelings about an issue. This process happens first in your mind. You have to ask yourself, "If I were in this person's position, what would that feel like?" Also, you can tell how they might be feeling by noticing their nonverbal behavior. If they appear frustrated, then remember yourself what it is like to feel frustrated. So, it' snot really about analyzing as much as it is attempting to imagine what it's like to feel the same way.
Hi sir can you tell me as many people don't open up even though i talk to them about the things they like so can i make them feel comfortable to that they can open and talk to me what they actually want and some people think that they won't get what they want in life so they just don't speak up and many people told me like this so can you help me what i need to talk to them regarding thaat?
Probably the very best way to help people open up is to go 100% into listening mode. If you listen with empathy (I have a video on that) most people will open up.
Thank you so much sir❤for giving your time and helping me means alot🙏🙏
How to be emphatic when our brain is slow to switch from our condition to other’s person condition in short time. I think its difficult.. please make more research about this.. i need this knowledge because i work in sales field
When it comes to like, people dealing with loss. I freeze, I feel like I can’t connect even though I experienced loss. I just get shocked in away and I can’t speak. I don’t know what to say. Maybe, just saying I am here to be a shoulder ti cry on? Is all I can think of . Cus I know the pain of dealing with loss. The sadness, calling voicemail to hear their voice one last time everyday.
I just wanted to know how to show empathy with ny mum! She's sick and everyone is disgust of this sicknesses can't do a litte just to repay her her effort of taking care of them while they're ill!! I only show sadness facial expressions dont know wht to do else more effectively
I'm sorry to hear about your mother. I don't have any great advice for you. I would say just love her. Show her you love her. Tell her you love her. Tell her how much she means to you.
I struggle so much with this, I have 0 empathy to people that play the victim “ cz my parents” or my “ex” or limitations, I just can’t.. I. Being trying so hard to build that with church, therapy, books, bible etc.. is there a pill/surgery for this? 🙏? ( a serious question)
I interacted with my students robatically once or twice in a calender year
Does jhon has his own youtube channel 😁
Where? Everywhere. I am currently awful at this and it took a breakup for me to realize 💔
I could use more empathy in work and overall conversations I have with family an d friends
Cold calling needs empathy. Can you help me out?
I need more empathy in my family. Do you have more resources?
Yes, Erin. I have another video on listening with empathy that might help.
How to have empathy and what does it feel like?
I am just needing ways to communicate to the other person to get on my level and get them to talk about what is going on? That is my problem with empathize with them. Needing empathizing words to communicate with.
I could use help with being empathetic consistently. I feel like I have to try very hard to come off a certain way all the time. A lot of the time I’m just not in the mode to pour effort into other people when I have had a chance to pour any into my self during the day. I know that’s selfish, but it’s just how I am. I can never go more than a month or so being that way before the mask falls off and my brain is burnt out from pretending to care so much.
I know I should care consistently but it’s difficult if I’m living with anyone. I can do it if I have my own space and live separately from people but if we live together, I just can’t. I want to be regular during my alone time without anyone expecting me to behave with empathy and compassion. I just feel fake all the time having to keep up a mask.
I don’t like being or feeling apathetic. It’s just really hard to empathize all the time. If it was 50/50 I’d feel like I could at least increase to 70/30 but it’s more like 40/60 and that’s so problem.
It takes energy to be empathetic. You're not alone in this. Some people seem to be naturally empathetic but it does get easier with more practice.
@@alexanderlyon Thanks for the words of encouragement. It's much appreaciated. I think if I come up with a better system to recharge my people battery, I should be fine. But it's definitely not from a lack of wanting to try.
If you feel like your mask is too hard to maintain it could be Aspergers
@@MrTittybutt Yeah. It is hard to maintain being a certain way all day. There are several things I have to do just to appear normal, alert and present even around my significant other. It's tiring, and he says he gets it, but that's easy to say when you know who you are and never wear masks.
I am not neurotypical, but people expect me to be even when they say they don't. I know it's not true. They all make it clear that they expect normality based on what they do, not what they say. I just have to live with that though. It's probably for the better anyway. Without people, I tend to be very depressed, so I do know people make me feel accountable, responsible and like I have to do my best. I don't do it for myself, that's just not enough motivation, but I do have a goal, so I just have to deal with the exhaustion (on top of being an introvert) and learn to recharge properly.
@@tranlee8752 That sounds like a rational attitude. I wish you the best. Recharging is a big priority for me too
💜🙏
My experience with McDonald was that when they say hello or thank you to you, they turned their face the other way.
I'm sure the McDonald's near me is above average. They are always excellent with their customer service and attitude. I'm guessing whoever leads the effort there is a big part of that.
What do u if lack of empathy and want gain it
I just posted my most recent video on that. It is called what is empathy? And three tips for developing more of it. You can find it on the “videos” tab on my channel.
I'm watching this video cuz recently i met a woman who has a fatherless troubled daughter. And then a disabled woman.
I felt i needed to be a bit more.... empathic?, i'm shy lol
He even led me to ur vids 🤭🤭🤭
I have some issues communicating with the girl I'm dating. I try and try but sometimes we just get so frustrated. She says I'm not showing empathy..I'm not seeing it. Part of the issue is we have many yrs difference between us. I feel I'm trying but she doesn't.
Hi, Shawn. I have a related video on Empathetic Listening Skills that might give you some concrete ways to listen and communicate empathy that way. If you search for that title and my name, Alex Lyon, you'll see it.
I struggle with interacting with my partner. She’s a psychologist and is big on empathy.
Oh, yeah. She's going to notice the presence of absence of empathy, then. Well, I give you credit for working on it. Here's my secret weapon for you that works like a charm. 1. "How was your day?" 2. "Tell me more about that." 3. "How do you feel about that?" You'll get A++ for empathetic listening as long as you do that and make caring (but natural) eye contact. Do it face to face, if possible. Mix in a few relevant follow up questions where they fit best. And, then, just let her talk for as long as she wants. BTW, if you can have this type of conversation as you do a household chore like dishes (but keep the focus on her), you'll be a hero. But, don't do it as a gimmick. It's got to be genuine and an honest display of how much you care.
Talking to a person for first time
Sometimes I think I struggle a bit with empathy is because I struggle with understanding my own emotions. How would I then understand others.
That is a great point. I have a video that was recently posted about "What is Empathy and 3 Ways to Practice it." It looks at the fundamentals and might help you. ua-cam.com/video/TrbLsa1iDVk/v-deo.html
i'm here because i lack empathy and it got out of hand, i need to fix it before anything worse happens.
I feel there Lack of empathy in parents communication nowdays, that might also a reason children are not able to connect with parents in mostly cases.
Need empathy at work
Yes, we all do, Moe. Thanks for the comment.
When my wife gets upset I find it difficult to empathize with her and it frustrates her so much. She says it's because I can only think of myself. At work I can give good customer service and I feel like I can empathize with customers. Why am I struggling to do the same with my wife?
Do you think you may feel attacked by her frustration?
I ask Jesus to help me be more a empathetic and compassionate person 🙏🏼
Get a Free Download pdf Quick Guide to Professional Communication Skills: www.alexanderlyon.com/free-resources
I need to have more empathy toward my partner
1:07-1:12 Share mo lang? 🤔
Just speak to GOD if you truly love him cuz one you start to lie to HIM he’ll make you suffer don’t play games 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀
It would also be good if humans had empathy for animals and stopped eating them, and stopped condoning mistreatment on farms. It is the consumer who finances. If people had true empathy for animals, they would also have for humans. Most have neither.
🤭🤭🤭 I don't need empathy, isually that just doesn work in my life? Cus i just need my servants? I wouldn't be able to help u with ur question.😕 sorry about that. But I'll tell u if I could.
No empathy for McDonald's though
I'm still going to eat my Egg McMuffins and there's nothing that anybody can do about it to stop me!!!! Ha. Plus, no kidding, the employees and manager of the location near me are the best. Their customer service and attitude is amazing.
You could have made this vid empathic
But u do know that is just chemistry, right? Tole my bf but if course like he knows. 🤭🤭🤭
I don't agree with this definition of empathy. What if you could not understand somebody's feelings? Can you understand the feelings of a mother who lost her son or her daughter if you don't have children? Empathy is not understanding the feelings of another person. Empathy is wanting to understand them! Empathy is a way of thinking, not the skill of feeling or understanding. Narcissists also can understand your feelings, but they do not care about you or how you feel! Empathy is wanting to understand, wanting the other person to feel good, and wanting good things and good feelings to happen to somebody! You can not always understand, what if you are sick or not in a good shape or did not sleep well or for any reason, you could not be able at a certain moment to feel or understand somebody's feeling, but the willingness to do it, the good intention towards the other person, the lack of judgment, the wish to help and be there for them - this is empathy! It has nothing to do with a skill, it is a way of thinking about other people, their feelings, problems, life, or happiness! It is genuine caring for others no matter if you can understand them or not! You can extend your empathy towards people you don't understand! Do you understand teenagers? But you feel empathy about them, don't you?
I hear where you are coming from, Daniela. The definition I used in the video is simply the definition you'd find in most dictionaries. Here's what from Oxford says (found on Google): "the ability to understand and share the feelings of another."
@@alexanderlyon Thank you, I appreciate your answer. I have a question: a grandiose narcissist has a daughter and feels that her daughter is not good enough for her, feels victimized because fate has cheated her giving her such a bad and flawed daughter. The narcissist feels like a victim because her undeserving and insignificant daughter is shameful for her and for the family. So she beats and abuses her daughter severely. I assure you I understand the narcissist's feelings in this case but is this empathy? I don't have any positive feelings towards the narcissist and still, I understand how she feels and why. So my question is - do you think having empathy regarding a person includes caring, approving of their behavior, feeling positive towards that person or it is only understanding their feelings? Does empathy include validation of the feelings of others? IN the case of the narcissist I understand her, but I don't validate her feelings! I don't accept that I have to respect her feelings, in other words, I don't agree with these feelings, I judge them invalid so I don't give my empathy to her no matter that I understand her. The same question about Hitler - it is understandable why he did the things he did - and still does this mean you are empathetic about him? Or maybe I am mixing these two: empathy and compassion?
This sounds like a complicated scenario. I’m hesitant to give my point of you on it. I’m an outsider to the situation and I have an observed any of it. Anything I said it would be a pure guess.
@@danhinity This is an issue I relate to. Maybe these terms can help clarify: cognitive empathy and affective empathy. I think narcissists have the cognitive kind and thus can "communicate with empathy" but they don't care. Some people like for example some autistics can care a lot but still miss the mark on the cognition and thus hurt peoples feelings accidentally
Sir... U r like preacher, but without the Jesus and God words.🤭🤭🤭🤭 u r not like father Mike Schmitz 🤭🤭🤭🤭
Sadly, I found the hand gesturing excessive and distracting in this video.
Don't quit your day job...for being a communication consultant, you ramble and take a long circuitous path to your point...not sure you ever got there. Your message is not well composed. Not sure how to be honest in my feedback and make you feel good at the same time. I think this delivery is very sloppy. Not impressed.
That was useless You literally all you did was give us the definition
He did not do a good job teaching this subject