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AGREED !!! 💯 THEY ARE A SUB-SPECIES OF HUMANS. LITERALLY, THINK ABOUT IT. COMPARE THEM IN A WAY TO MONKEYS OR CHIMPANZEES OR WHATEVER APE YOU PREFR. WE HAVE VERY SIMILAR BLOOD LINES OR DNA ETC THEY SAY. BUTTTTTTT WERE FAR MORE ADVANCED THAN MONKEYS. WELL THE NARCS ARE KINDA THE SAME. WHEN THEY LACK BASIC HUMAN TRAITS / CHARACTERISTICS OF WHAT MOST PEOPLE HAVE, ( NO EMPATHY, NO REMORSE , ZERO LOVE, EXCEPT FOR THEMSELVES, ) THEN THEY LITERALLY TAKE PLEASURE IN HURTING YOU.. THEY LITERALLY DO, THEY GET A HIGH , SUPPLY, ORGASMIC HIGH FROM INFLICTING PAIN ONTO OTHERS, ESPECIALLY THEIR PARTNERS. WTF. MAN.!!! ???? WHO DOES THAT ????? TAKING PLEASURE FROM INFLICTING PAIN. SERIOUS PAIN ON OTHERS. AND GETTING PLEASURE FROM THEIR ACTIONS IS THE EPITOME, THE ESSENCE OF EVIL !!! ACTIONS OF THIS NATURE ARE 💯 PURE MALEVOLENCE !! I still love her. Though I shouldn't.. But I'm not going bk. Her New guy can deal w it. I told her. " I hope you find the happiness your searching for. "
After 15 years of marriage to a female covert narcissist who medicted with booze..I found my golden ticket and escaped with my daughter. I filed a restraining order and now after 4 weeks of being gone the emotions and tears are just daily...how could I have been so stupid. I struggle with that as I see the damage done to my teen daughter. I am a traditional country guy and how could I let this happen. I had no idea what a narcissist was and never saw the bus coming that ran me over. Never going back now shortly removed I am enjoying the silence and peace with just my daughter and I. With the help of this podcast and Dr. Ramani..I see it for what it was ,never love just pure toxic waste spewing and killing anything beautiful in its path.
How is this for CREEPY? Im disabled and every so often have a breathing problem. It came on suddenly in the car. I'm panicked and told the narc ex that the hospital was right around the corner. So he pulls over to the curb and parks. I'm struggling at this point and I'm looking at him and frantic while he's just watching me not be able to breath. He kept pretending to bee confused as he turns of the car. I regret not running away then. It was the point of the relationship a few years I'm when they start turning on you after the way initial love bomb period. I'm lucky I had a few years first but ending story many years later, found out he tried to coordinate two botched attempts to kill me . I'm still being watched 24/7 because he ended up belongs to a domestic terror group and there homebase with a full FBI command center. They have hundreds at a time always . There watching me right now. Can't get into everything they have done to me but they even followed me out ofstate. my job was surrounded as well as every house of my entire family. I can't do anything bc I'm scared to death what they have planned. Every one has a gun pointed at me at all times. I hope everyone enjoys the creepiness of this. And it's just a sample.
So true. Take your grade a supply away and go silent forever. Block them and all their connections to you. Never ever look back. It’s a blessing to rid the narc from my life. I look at the relationship never happened and I was in a coma for the time I was with my ex.
True,my ex NARC ask me to come over,I got dressed about 30 later when I was 5 minutes from his house he called me and said I just want to be myself I cussed him out so bad,he made me feel bad for cussing him then I started apologizing to him,thank God that 2 months relationship is over,felt like 2 years,Single Life is Beautiful ❤
@@Julie-7605 most teachers are caring and empathetic. When you get into the school board, principals ,super intendant those positions are sought of by ppl w high narcissistic traits
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Keeping all of their supply like people save up jam for the winter. Exactly! I always said to him, you just want to keep me for a rainy day. The grass was always greener on the other side. He envied my social skills while at the same time looking down on me for being so naive and for my unconditional love. He could not wrap his head around the fact that you can love someone without expecting anything in return. But this is not a relationship, no eye to eye level. A nightmare rather!
I'm almost 2 years away from my ex girlfriend who was a malignant covert narcissist. Although I was trauma bonded when I left, I got over it eventually. Establishing boundaries, learning and knowing my worth and loving myself again were the most effective ways I was able to heal. I'm happy these days...my life is so much better narc free
I need to hear these today I moved on but still trauma bonded can't seem to get over myself scared a man at 64 who has fought so much to survive but know what has to be done.
"No remorse for you. Remorse for themselves. They need you to do the work... Money sex ideas prestige THEY DO NOT MISS YOU. THEY MISS WHAT YOU ARE DOING FOR THEM." It is all about them. You don't matter. What you SUPPLY TO THEM matters.
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I agree. This video was not in alignment with all the other information I’ve gathered about Narcisists. Usually, they don’t care and they’ve moved onto another source of supply before leaving you. This video sounds like her personal experience with an ex that really really misses her and got hurt really badly.
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I pin this. What Narc has done to me is Phone calling my boss reported lies to my boss. It's So creepy! While she represents herself as nice, kind, peaceful, charming, smiling, and funny. But what she did to me is suck! It's totally very opposite and different!! I doubt why someone tries to discredit other innocent people. I found ENVY. I, then, google why someone being envious. I found NPD.
Thanks for this VID. I was always thought there was something wrong alone and thought that was my fault alone for almost 10 years. NPD is a disorder, and the patient hardly accepts to cure.
Thanks Rebecca for equipping me to battle, beat up (emotionally) and K.O. by dumping my ex-wife. She's a narcissist with a PhD in Psychology and a big gaslighter but I'm free, standing strong, living my best life.
One of the main things I have seen when confronting the narcissist is them trying to turn the tables and say they are the victims and you are the narcissist. Usually this happens when you are trying to make your great escape
so true, immediate DARVO. deny accuse reverse victim and offender. every damn time. Father+ his second wife for 30+ years. They nearly drove me insane. Occasionally still ANGRY mostly at my time wasted, and that i desired approval from people of whom I was always ashamed. truly miserable awful wretches. HARD PASS. Never again. Dad already got ONE death bed confession fake out of me. Never a second chance as I dont care. I miss the father i never had NOT Him.
It’s really hard to believe people are this selfish, but then go through the pains of wanting you back. Both parts are genuine, so it makes everything confusing
There is no closure. The more questions you ask the more you think you can help them. Empathy we have a natural tendency to fix things and right wrongs. These people are only God's work, we cannot help them.
Today he let out what I suspected; he thought I was crawling back after all the abuse and no apology. He truly believed money and security relieved him of any responsibility for his actions. They were unforgiveable, and today he realized I am truly never coming back. I could hear the panic in his voice. I made the mistake of leaving a book about narcissim in my room; he stole it, and it is a dire wakeup call if he ever understands the image he has created of himself and hides well. the video is synchonistic to the events I am going through. Narcs have no conscience, and no matter what they did to you, they feel no regret or accountability. They are completely abnormal people, and a relationship will never work with one of them. Thank you Rebecca; your advice is dead-on.
PS: As sad as it is, you have to be the one who is the adult in the relationship, and you must hold them accountable for their actions by not giving into their behavior. It's a societal responsibility, and a responsibility to yourself and those you love. They need to learn their lesson.
Mine was a great provider and he took care of me…..but I realized he was living a double life behind my back. When we broke up he didnt want me to move on but he always had other women….and the last straw was throwing me under the bus to his now girlfriend and our mutual friends after he was caught in a lie….I’m going 5 weeks with no contact for the first time in 11 years….unless it’s about our child…..I saw him drive by my house the other day ….that was weird because he lives in another state…
Have a work friend who is doing this. We became close during the pandemic as our place of business shut down and we didn’t have much to do. She, her husband and I hung out. I kept noticing a weird triangulation thing happening and other little jabs of control she needed. I side stepped a few of her triangatiin attempts I had gotten out of a very abusive relationship with a narc., and know some of the tactics they used and I was beginning to identify this in our friendship. I was worried at first thinking, oh I’m just labeling everyone a narc since I know the signs and behavior, I’m being paranoid. But...we returned to work a few months ago...I needed to not hang out with her as much due to well...our jobs were back...and I am now taking care of my mom. There was a conversation of we need to embrace change and move forward with the business, we have an opportunity to re-invent and She got so weird. Like her world was shattered that we would never go back to normal. Well, yes we had a pandemic. she convinced her late 20’s son to back home and she started treating me bad and it’s so funny because this is how my ex acted when she lined up a new supply...The scary thing is when I finally realized what she was...we were at this golf game thing. I have never played and she is sickly competitive. I played with another group of our friends but when I needed to put she came over from her aisle to watch me. Of course I didn’t play well because I’ve never golfed. She just laughed and laughed and made me feel like an idiot. After that day...
Sorry, your never get it you are a valued, beautiful individual they enjoy tearing down strong people it makes them feel valued and provides entertainment. Read healing from hidden abuse Shannon Thomas!
Narcissists never give you closure. NEVER! It’s part of the abuse. Don’t beg for it. Do your research. Cry. Scream. Swear. Drink. Sleep three days in a row. And than move on and live your best life. Without them. Declare them dead.
I still have dreams about the narcissist that I got away from, and in each dream I am ALWAYS disappointed in myself for letting them back in my life. I wake up and it takes me a second or two to remember that I'm no longer in that situation.
So creepy! I treated my ex narcissist husband with kindness no matter what for the eight years. Never showed me any appreciation, but I kept on being kind. I was his alarm clock every morning, did his laundry, woke up at 5am cooking food for him to take to work, rushed to his every need, filled out job applications for him, paid all the bills alone, and did everything possible to please him. He abused me and our children verbally, physically, and emotionally during the whole relationship. Yet I still treated him like a King regardless. I finally mustered up the courage to end it. He left and it was a massive weight off my shoulders. We didn’t talk after a while and he said he didn’t want to see the children. When I met someone else he did and said everything he could to try to come back. He went crazy, tried to use the excuse that he wanted to see the children as an opportunity to try to lure me back in. I said no. I was truly happy in my new relationship and I had to keep telling him that. He made so many threats... said he was going to kill my boyfriend, said he was going to kill himself, etc. Two years later I still have to deal with him because we have children together. He tries to abuse me through my children telling them all kinds of things, tells them to stab me and their baby brother with a knife when they get older, tries to convince them to take his gun home to kill me, and all kinds of stuff. I’ve reported it to Child Protective Services and they just think I’m crazy and are not willing to do anything about it. Aside dealing with all this, I’ve been completely happy ever since I ended the relationship with him. I would never go back. I have strict limits to communicating with him about the children. I’m just happy I’m not with a Narcissist anymore and my life has been wonderful without him.
Alena, I'm in the same boat as you. Well, on the first part of your statement. I'm creating a strategy in contacting a Family Lawyer to remove my daughter and I away from her mom/my wife. I'd say I'm staying under the radar not to expose what I'm doing and keeping everything covert. We've been together for 9 years (married 8) while each year I notice more and more of her narcissist ways is getting worse and worse. What breaks my heart is that she is doing this to our 5 year old as well... I do have the backing of support of my family and friends and they know my daughter and I are not happy. I pray that the courts will see full custody in my favor due to her mental status...
@@hereisayana8207 I wish it was that simple, since my children are young they said that they would not just take their word for it. I have to have actual proof. It’s so hard to prove these kind of things. And he definitely manipulates them as well so it’s like all of a sudden the kids don’t want to talk about it anymore or says “nevermind he didn’t say that”. I mean there’s definitely something wrong when your children talks about murder. Best I can do right now is guide them and teach them the right way. Although recently my children said that they’ve been staying home alone without supervision when they are with him, so maybe I can use that as leverage somehow.
9:02 - Thank you, Ms.Zung for the following "Remember they didn't attach themselves to you because you have so little value even though that's how they treated you. They attached themselves because you have so much value!" Thank you for the blessings! 🙌🏾🥰🦋
They view you as what they need for their dopamine hits in relation to attention, validation, admiration, power, ego and pleasure. They're useless as partners because they don't and will never have the selflessness and empathy to care about your wants, needs and feelings as a human
So creepy... My GOD this is spot on. Going through it now after leaving my husband. He is stalking me, have gotten thousands of texts in a week and I've gone no contact. Thank you Jesus for getting me outta there alive
They do it because they realize they've lost control of you. It's the control not you they miss. I'm going through this now. He's in for a rude awakening. We go to court for domestic violence charges. And of course, it's my fault that the paramedics picked me up off the floor in a pool of my own blood. According to him I ruined his life.
Wow! I'm glad that you are better. If you want, I would advise to get a permanent Order of Protection, if you already don't have one. I have one against mine, which includes our child, praise God! Going on 3 years, and I hope it continues (forever). It truly feels like a breath of fresh air...freedom. So glad that we are now safe, happy and healthy. Thank you for sharing. All the best!
Thank You. Have to do the temporary one first. If I get a hearing granted then can be permanent. I already applied for spousal support. He has left me no choice. When they say all in divine timing, they mean it. Since he's been gone I actually haven't been having anywhere near the number of panic attacks. And since I figured out he put me in the hospital so he and his adulteress could paint the house and sell it out from under me, I 'm now good and PO'd.
My ex has a court order to stay away from me. It’s been 3 months no contact. Yesterday he drove by me on his motorcycle, nodded and gave me his “I love you” smile that used to melt me. I literally wanted to vomit. Yuck 🤮
I can relate! Married 30 yrs here. I’ve been deathly Ill the past 9 yrs. I’m regaining my health but it’s like waking up TO a nightmare ( not FROM)! Ugh , this is difficult. I am 100% dependent on him . He is out of the home for now.
I am one and half year post divorce, my ex recently told my son to let me know he's still single. He never did, I only found out because he told my daughter about the conversation. Then a week later he tells my daughter that he's done a lot of reflecting on our relationship and he is planning on asking me out for coffee and asked how she would feel about that. She was kinda shook and mumbled something about how she just wants us to get along. He snapped, "we already get along". Apparently, that wasn't the reaction he wanted and cut their evening short. I know him. I know him, he had it all worked out in his mind. The kids would just want us to get back together and he would use them as his in. But the kids are so happy I am finally happy, no way do they want us back together. They are 23 and 27, so adults and able to see him for what he is.
As someone with narcissistic parents who's really happy her mom is free, I'm so happy for you and your kids!! I don't even talk to my narc dad anymore. Hope you're all doing well and staying safe.
My daughters say the same thing. They are so glad I am free of their dad. I try to stay positive about him when talking to them but they know the truth they lived through the madness too. Free at last! Yay! Live well! ❣️❣️
I dated a Narcissist woman, needless to say my life was hell. I see your videos and you describe exactly what I lived. I didn't know the concept of Narcissist until recently. It is been 5 years I broke off from her and she still hoovering.
Definitely creepy. 🤨 It's when you realize they've been checking out your social media posts regularly but never actually added you as a 'friend'. (Not that you would want to add / accept them, anyway.)
Remorse is definitely for themselves - and themselves only !!! The best thing I’ve ever done was stopped putting anything on Facebook. Stopped responding to txt , stopped engaging all together. It is an amazing feeling to be free & to be totally myself again ! I’m never going back !
Narc ex would never admit to missing the thrill of f**kin' me over. I sense that he is angry bc I have moved on, and he can no longer control me, my mind, or my life. Hurrah! Free at last and I love being in another country beyond his reach!
Great message! Don't go back, lesson learned. Even when you think they have changed. Dont go back, they devalue, manipulate and blindside you even worse. My ex told me he still wants to grow old w me, come back home and raise our kids. He is bettering himself, etc all the good stuff we want to hear. Then I found out he went and filed for divorce all while love bombing & wanting us to "start building on our relationship". 🤯🤬
@@RebeccaZungEsq do you have any insight in CA divorce? Since everything is calculated w my ex narc why would he put a separation date of 3years early? So instead of 11 yrs legally he put 7 yrs?
Papers signed and on my way to total freedom from a 33 year nightmare of a marriage. No physical abuse, thank God, but plenty of other madness that made me feel like I was losing my mind. I left once for almost two years, went back ( dummy me) left again and will never be going back. A year out and I finally feel like myself again. My mind is clearing and my emotions are settling. I don’t care what he feels like, sad to say, he didn’t care about me, I can’t let myself care about him. 😡
I got that as well.. first she wanted to be friends with benefits while she went back to her bf that she was with the 4 years immediately before me. ... turns out she brought 2 guys to his house & had sex with them in his bed while he was out of town. ... and he is stupid enough to take her back & after he caught her doing that on on his home security camera's. .. when I refused to be friends with benefits, then she wanted to be friends without the sex "because everyone needs a best friend".... I'm 2 weeks in NO Contact now...
Yes, they treat you like crap, & then act as though they hadn't done a thing to you. It's so ridiculous the way they think anyone in their right mind would tolerate that by abiding their thinly-veiled invites back to it.
I was dealing with my fiancé ex wife narc. For the thousand time she provoked me into getting upset except this time I exposed her lies and cried for to leave me alone. The narc did a smear campaign against me to my future family in law. Since this has become the norm for her they didn’t believe her lies. They planned a family vacay included me and had the narc watch the dogs. I went no contact and finally getting back to being me. Your videos helped me fight back thank you so much!!
Thank you, Rebecca, for your priceless help in my slow recovery. It started with your first video I discovered here. And then, video-by-video, step0by-step, somehow I managed to crawl back to life.... hired a lawyer, filed a police report (that will facilitate the divorce), and at my age of 72 (!!!!), I will start picking up the pieces here and live. Thanks for your angelic presence for us.
Empower yourself with the knowledge and tools to outsmart narcissistic tactics in (divorce) OR (high conflict) negotiations. Unlock your potential at our free webinar! Your journey starts here: highconflictcert.com/
Just wanted to say thank you, your videos have been so very helpful. At almost 40 years old I've finally figured out my mom is a narcissist and have gotten her mostly out of my life, and just hearing facts about narcissistic people reassures me that it's not my fault she's like that and how I will never let her do that to me or my husband and children again 💜
"When you get the holden key and they let you go. Run and never look back" I wish i heard this sooner cause I went back thinking we can make amends. How could I be so foolish.
Honestly the idea that my ex has been watching my socials for the last decade is music to my ears. I am fortunate to have good, real friends who drag me out to all kinds of fun stuff, and then they post loads of photos and videos. The idea that she has been seeing those all these years and bristling over it is satisfying.
After 28 years of marriage I was told by the ex I had done nothing & I was no one! Deciding that I deserved better & I was not going to accept living with this kind of person for the rest of my life. Realizing how much this person had depended on my support for their confidence & security. It makes sense Rebecca when you talk about how they try to make us feel worthless to have control over us but at the end, they are the one's who feel worthless. Never having felt I am worthless or not someone. Knowing who I am and loving the person I am and the reason to move on! Thanks Rebecca for your wonderful words!
The reason they always think or expect their source to be around and never question that they'd leave is because of wishful thinking, just like psychopaths they lack the ability to see other possible reactions or outcomes from a situation apart from their own want or expectations. It's always about them they rarely ever give.
you were spot on.. I won't negotiate because I'm done.. not looking back it's been 2 decades of merde. Thanks Rebecca for helping out so many people. .
Thank God 🙏 I saw this video...complete validation to what was happening to me. It’s less than two weeks from been finally divorced from this nightmare.
Six months ago he discarded me by way of ghosting. Although very hurtful, I took that for the blessing I knew it was and ran with it, maintaining No Contact. Haven’t heard from him since. Thank God. 🙏
Thank you for being on here talking about these crazy people. I was left by a narcissist in February and was sooo confused. Until I saw these videos. So THANK YOU!! ❤️❤️
Walked out 12 days ago. Didn't go no contact. Yesterday, amongst floods of messages and voice notes the past few days, received this (makes me think he is low grade vulnerable narcissist. Often in tears too): "Unfortunately this is the truth and maybe that is why I could walk out of marriages and relationships so easily before. You are the first woman to have got into my heart and that I have allowed and loved. I know that it took a while for me to get there and I was still opening up more and more as I told you new years eve, how special that was. It's the first time that I have allowed myself to love and be loved. I know that I lash out sometimes, to protect myself and it is wrong. I should have trusted our love but now and again I got scared. I do apologize and realize that I was wrong." The empath in me is battling with this. He has no one else at 63 (I'm 53 and worth so much better). We've "only" been together one year and I walked out once before, end of Aug and for 3 months it went really well, then he lapsed again. Really hoped he would move on swiftly.
Thanks 🙏🏻 Rebecca! U have taught me so much! I was in a “dark place” ur advice helped a lot. You helped me to change my perspective & its changing for me! The misogynist judge in our court house is leaving soon! Hallelujah
Have an interesting story….. recently started taking with one of his flying monkeys. I don’t know if I am saying this correctly but he was seeing other women - one in particular. He would tell her horrible things about me and tell Me horrible things about her. We are now friends after confirming what we both knew to be true and about all the lies he told
After 18 months.. I just went silent mode for over a week. He thought he'd be in control by messaging me one last time and say "its been over a week since I've heard from you, i can't keep doing this, i wish you the best take care" before this he knew i was having lots of health issues, but failed to ask me. Thank you for this video. Never came across a narcissistic person til this one. I'm better off on my own til the right one comes along. 29 and single. Focusing on myself and achieving things. Done it before, i can do it again. Just pray to God no other person falls into his trap just coz he's desperate to settle down. I didn't need to fix myself, or sort my head out. Mentally and physically f***ed up - excuse me for the language. Getting back to myself slowly but surely.
Hot damn!!! I have been reading most of EVERYONEs comments I cannot believe that I FELL IN LOVE with a BEAUTIFUL REDHEAD Narcissist. I MARRIED HER 4 TIMES IN LAS VEGAS to prove to her I LOVE HER and WOULD NEVER HURT HER or LEAVE HER. I am a Christian, Ordained Chaplain, 27 Year ARMY VETERAN, and Communuty Activist...My Wife last words to me in 2021...."YOU ARE DEAD TO ME". She left without REASON, ARGUMENT, or CAUSE. Lastly I saw the SIGNS YEARS AGO...but I did not know NARCISSISM and that it was DEMONIC. Thank ALL OF YOU LOVERS for your HONEST INPUT... "Franklin HEARTBROKEN IN VEGAS BUT GOOD NOW"...
I'm living this is real life. I filed for divorce, and the stalking and harassment seems unending. The text messages all day, it's just tiring and sick.
Thank you so much for all of the content you provide. It truly helps to know that someone else understands the way narcissists operate, and how defeated you can feel while divorcing and parenting with one.
He was so nice, charming at first, bombing me with attention After about a yeat.., slowly,..the criticisms began, followed by a constant devaluing, mocking, blaming. They would never admit to being wrong in anythng!!! It was impossible to have a real conversation with him I realized that he fell out with every single person in his life. In the end, he accused me of being a narcissist. He's probably found a new supply. I wish them luck, they need it!!!
As part of no contact, I recommend not only refusing to look at their social media but also making your social media "friends only" and privatize it as much as possible. Do not participate in the game of providing them with any supply. If you watch their social media, or post with the underlying intention of hoping they see it, you are giving them supply (which I believe they can "feel" as Rebecca said, you are putting vibrations or frequencies into the universe) because they know you care. Indifference is the ultimate weapon against the narcissist. Not hate, not love, not anger, no revenge, no one upping them. Refusing to participate really injures them because they are narcissists and can't imagine how someone they love bombed does not care.
So, the narcissist in my life is my son. He verbally abuses me, stalks me, turned his 2 younger siblings against me, threatens suicide, uses all the tactics. He learned it from my parents who were abusive alcoholics. My son would do anything to start a fight no matter what I said I was in the wrong. As a mom I would take the abuse, he even went so far as to send me a picture of himself with a noose around his neck, and then refused to answer the phone. Then he would send a random funny article or tell me he has a gift for me. I would keep coming back, because he is my child. I don't know how to just give up on my own child. I am currently suffering from parental alienation syndrome from my younger children. I want to let go, just pretend I never had children but It is so very very hard to stop loving my children.
WOW! This is me. But include a 6 year old granddaughter. I have been hurt enough that I could let go if it wasn't for my granddaughter. She deserves so much more!!
My oldest daughter is abusive to me too. Verbally and emotionally. Uses her children to hurt me. Manipulates my other 2 daughters against me. She's a piece of work. She will be 38 in July and acts like a 14 year old rebellious teen. She hates me but glorifies her dad that never did a damn thing for her. He was verbally and physically abusive to me. I left him years ago. She's just like him. Right down to being a pathological liar.
So creepy how he tried to triangulate me with his 14 year old daughter (I'm the stepmom). He's exceedingly affectionate with her and was not nearly at the same level of affection with me. I was dealing with, essentially, two 14 year olds!
That was a really good video. Yes NEVER look back NEVER go back. After 20 years of a horrible marriage and pounding me for 13 years in probate court for child support somehow my ex the narcissists thought we were going to get back together. Narcissists don't understand boundaries. They don't understand consequences. And your not a person they love, you're a possession. Something they own. When I finally got her and several other unhealthy people out of my life I felt like Andy Dufraine standing in the rain in Shawshank Redemption raising my hands to the sky because I was free
@@Mylife-g2z1g Explain how your rel--igion is not extreme narcissism ? You constantly blame-shift (and label) hundreds of other cultures/groups of ppl all over the world for your endless inner pain/suffering in your Ego mind's need for control, when those "others" had ZERO to do with it.
I feel like it is hard to find someone who is not a narcissist. I'm starting to think my life wants to repeat the same crap with a new person. But I won't let it go far.
Thank you for the information it’s very accurate, my ex narc wouldn’t leave me alone after I left I experienced a horrible smear campaign eventually I had to change my number these ppl are insane
Thank YOU!!!!!!!! Ugh! My ex was the unassuming nice one, and women everywhere just happened to fall into him,,,,,, NOT gross for a middle aged personnnnn
So grateful for your videos Rebecca, speaking as someone who has removed my entire family from my life due to a narcissistic family system. I would like to offer the suggestion that the healing part of narcissistic relationships is very difficult and people who may need help negotiating with narcissists may also need to do lots of healing work as well. Thanks so much for all of your inspiration.
Me realizing that my first marriage, 20 years ago, was to my stalker.... and i was raised by two forms of narcissists (overt and covert), and I just ended, today, by letter, my *last* relationship with a narcissist (even though I divorced 10 years ago, I was still emeshed due to kids, and now I am seeing the light). Thank you for this content, and these tips!!!
Want to know more about what happens when the narcissist realizes life sucks without you? Join me on my free live webinar! Sign up right here www.rebeccazung.com/live
I can't wait to meet you there!
I want to know once I cut them off how long is it before they start to show signs that life sucks without me
In the middle of our first time having sex , she said we need to go one week without seeing one another 😂. I was like wth. Total u know.
She used to love to watch me pee!!!!!!! So weird and creepy..
What If the narc leaves you
Narcissist are monsters. They are not even human.
AGREED !!! 💯 THEY ARE A SUB-SPECIES OF HUMANS. LITERALLY, THINK ABOUT IT. COMPARE THEM IN A WAY TO MONKEYS OR CHIMPANZEES OR WHATEVER APE YOU PREFR. WE HAVE VERY SIMILAR BLOOD LINES OR DNA ETC THEY SAY. BUTTTTTTT WERE FAR MORE ADVANCED THAN MONKEYS. WELL THE NARCS ARE KINDA THE SAME. WHEN THEY LACK BASIC HUMAN TRAITS / CHARACTERISTICS OF WHAT MOST PEOPLE HAVE, ( NO EMPATHY, NO REMORSE , ZERO LOVE, EXCEPT FOR THEMSELVES, ) THEN THEY LITERALLY TAKE PLEASURE IN HURTING YOU.. THEY LITERALLY DO, THEY GET A HIGH , SUPPLY, ORGASMIC HIGH FROM INFLICTING PAIN ONTO OTHERS, ESPECIALLY THEIR PARTNERS. WTF. MAN.!!! ???? WHO DOES THAT ????? TAKING PLEASURE FROM INFLICTING PAIN. SERIOUS PAIN ON OTHERS. AND GETTING PLEASURE FROM THEIR ACTIONS IS THE EPITOME, THE ESSENCE OF EVIL !!! ACTIONS OF THIS NATURE ARE 💯 PURE MALEVOLENCE !! I still love her. Though I shouldn't.. But I'm not going bk. Her New guy can deal w it. I told her. " I hope you find the happiness your searching for. "
“Save your sanity & preserve your soul.” “They haven’t changed, regardless of what they say or do.”
Amen
Fact
And pronouns!!
After 15 years of marriage to a female covert narcissist who medicted with booze..I found my golden ticket and escaped with my daughter. I filed a restraining order and now after 4 weeks of being gone the emotions and tears are just daily...how could I have been so stupid. I struggle with that as I see the damage done to my teen daughter. I am a traditional country guy and how could I let this happen. I had no idea what a narcissist was and never saw the bus coming that ran me over. Never going back now shortly removed I am enjoying the silence and peace with just my daughter and I. With the help of this podcast and Dr. Ramani..I see it for what it was ,never love just pure toxic waste spewing and killing anything beautiful in its path.
How is this for CREEPY? Im disabled and every so often have a breathing problem. It came on suddenly in the car. I'm panicked and told the narc ex that the hospital was right around the corner. So he pulls over to the curb and parks. I'm struggling at this point and I'm looking at him and frantic while he's just watching me not be able to breath. He kept pretending to bee confused as he turns of the car. I regret not running away then. It was the point of the relationship a few years I'm when they start turning on you after the way initial love bomb period. I'm lucky I had a few years first but ending story many years later, found out he tried to coordinate two botched attempts to kill me . I'm still being watched 24/7 because he ended up belongs to a domestic terror group and there homebase with a full FBI command center. They have hundreds at a time always . There watching me right now. Can't get into everything they have done to me but they even followed me out ofstate. my job was surrounded as well as every house of my entire family. I can't do anything bc I'm scared to death what they have planned. Every one has a gun pointed at me at all times. I hope everyone enjoys the creepiness of this. And it's just a sample.
9:11 "They'd attached themselves to you because you have so much value". such healing words
Amen
I couldn't agree more.
This made me cry. He put me down so much and now he wont stop calling from a private number. I deserve better, we deserve better 💓
@@mariejae That you are willing to give in a non-reciprocal dynamic to your loss and their benefit
So true. Take your grade a supply away and go silent forever. Block them and all their connections to you. Never ever look back. It’s a blessing to rid the narc from my life. I look at the relationship never happened and I was in a coma for the time I was with my ex.
Narcissists will hurt your feelings and then punish you for bringing it up. You’ll end up apologizing to them for them hurting you.
In the world of high-conflict divorce, pain can become your most powerful tool. Learn how in our transformative webinar. www.icanslay.com 🔥
True,my ex NARC ask me to come over,I got dressed about 30 later when I was 5 minutes from his house he called me and said I just want to be myself I cussed him out so bad,he made me feel bad for cussing him then I started apologizing to him,thank God that 2 months relationship is over,felt like 2 years,Single Life is Beautiful ❤
“Some relationships are like broken glass. It's better to leave them alone than hurt yourself trying to put them back together.”
Great analogy
My wife ( born narcissist )walked in while I was watching this video and asked “ Who do you know that’s an narcissist ?” I answered Guy at work...lmao
Good come back.. classic
Ayoooo😂😂😂😂😂😂u did right never let them know always stay 20 steps ahead of them I’m telling u
Hilarious!
Get away from her
hahaha nice decoy
9 months free of mind games freedom is so sweet
Good for you!
I hear you.Been a year for me.No more gaslighting an all the other satanic lies
So dame right peace at last x
Well done. I. Only a week away but it feels so good to just have the peace and quite
Good for you. Dont go back. It's been 7 months without him. Peaceful life now
They are SO creepy! It is mind blowing how they operate.
DEMONIC and very creepy.
Seriously! Right??
Seriously! Right??
You have great energy lol
Whoa
Listen up people
SO CREEPY....VERY SCARY.... DEMONIC...
..
This needs to be taught in school so people learn about this and can be aware of it
I agree
I didn’t take an interpersonal skill class until college. Too far gone at that point
Agreed! Much like finances, sex, & relationship.
@@Julie-7605 most teachers are caring and empathetic. When you get into the school board, principals ,super intendant those positions are sought of by ppl w high narcissistic traits
Yes! Some heads up would have been helpful. So many wasted years.
Their arrogance makes them think you'll always stay.
Narcissist treat you like a object and not a human.
Empower yourself with the knowledge and tools to outsmart narcissistic tactics in (divorce) OR (high conflict) negotiations. Unlock your potential at our free webinar! Your journey starts here: highconflictcert.com/
Interesting. I look them as nonliving thing.
Keeping all of their supply like people save up jam for the winter. Exactly! I always said to him, you just want to keep me for a rainy day.
The grass was always greener on the other side.
He envied my social skills while at the same time looking down on me for being so naive and for my unconditional love. He could not wrap his head around the fact that you can love someone without expecting anything in return. But this is not a relationship, no eye to eye level. A nightmare rather!
I'm almost 2 years away from my ex girlfriend who was a malignant covert narcissist. Although I was trauma bonded when I left, I got over it eventually. Establishing boundaries, learning and knowing my worth and loving myself again were the most effective ways I was able to heal. I'm happy these days...my life is so much better narc free
I know the feeling!! It's great!!
How long did it take you to heal from the trauma bonds?
Me too my brother
I too left my covert malignant , phycopathic husband .... Love that freedom never again !!!
I need to hear these today I moved on but still trauma bonded can't seem to get over myself scared a man at 64 who has fought so much to survive but know what has to be done.
"No remorse for you.
Remorse for themselves.
They need you to do the work...
Money sex ideas prestige
THEY DO NOT MISS YOU.
THEY MISS WHAT YOU ARE
DOING FOR THEM."
It is all about them.
You don't matter.
What you SUPPLY TO THEM
matters.
Absolutely
They think if they beat you down enough, you'll never have the capacity to leave.
The narcissists are vicious; they have a radar for the empaths. I believe that is why my ex-husband chose me. I had so little self-esteem when we met.
Redefine the way you view challenges in high-conflict negotiations. Our training will show you how to turn trials into triumphs. Learn more highconflictcert.com/
When they realize their life sucks without you..., well, you'll know they've already moved on to someone else.
"They haven't changed they're not going to" truth !!!
No narc ever in human history came to believe that their life sucks without their last victim. That simply does not happen.
I agree. This video was not in alignment with all the other information I’ve gathered about Narcisists. Usually, they don’t care and they’ve moved onto another source of supply before leaving you. This video sounds like her personal experience with an ex that really really misses her and got hurt really badly.
Exactly.
My ex - narcissistic wife used to "joke" about having jars of hearts from people that hated her.
Redefine the way you view challenges in high-conflict negotiations. Our training will show you how to turn trials into triumphs. Learn more highconflictcert.com/
damage someone's reputation
blacken someone's name
destroy someone's credibility
Yes, that is what the narc demons do.
Exactly on point!
That’s what Zung lives for
I pin this. What Narc has done to me is Phone calling my boss reported lies to my boss. It's So creepy!
While she represents herself as nice, kind, peaceful, charming, smiling, and funny.
But what she did to me is suck! It's totally very opposite and different!!
I doubt why someone tries to discredit other innocent people.
I found ENVY.
I, then, google why someone being envious.
I found NPD.
Thanks for this VID.
I was always thought there was something wrong alone and thought that was my fault alone for almost 10 years.
NPD is a disorder, and the patient hardly accepts to cure.
Thanks Rebecca for equipping me to battle, beat up (emotionally) and K.O. by dumping my ex-wife. She's a narcissist with a PhD in Psychology and a big gaslighter but I'm free, standing strong, living my best life.
Yes! So glad to hear!
My ex-wife has a Masters in Social Work.
So happy for you!!! I'm going through a nasty divorce with one now. So ready to be FREE!!
Good for you!💖
Way to go!👍🏼💯Keep moving forward & don’t look back! You got this!👍🏼😎🕊
One of the main things I have seen when confronting the narcissist is them trying to turn the tables and say they are the victims and you are the narcissist. Usually this happens when you are trying to make your great escape
Just say to them that’s more of a reason to leave. Who’s wanna live with a narcissist that never an be healed. Bye see you never….
so true, immediate DARVO.
deny accuse reverse victim and offender.
every damn time. Father+ his second wife for 30+ years. They nearly drove me insane. Occasionally still ANGRY mostly at my time wasted, and that i desired approval from people of whom I was always ashamed.
truly miserable awful wretches. HARD PASS. Never again. Dad already got ONE death bed confession fake out of me. Never a second chance as I dont care. I miss the father i never had NOT Him.
How are you doing now? Hope feeling well and getting your power back! Perhaps my upcoming webinar might help - ICANSLAY.COM
RUN! BLOCK! RUN SOME MORE!
They miss you cos they have no-one to ABUSE!!!
The hardest part for me? Breaking the trauma Bond! I did it tho! Such a wonderful feeling to be free!
How did you break the trauma bonds and how long did it take #6weeksfree
It’s really hard to believe people are this selfish, but then go through the pains of wanting you back. Both parts are genuine, so it makes everything confusing
It is definitely confusing. Check out my other videos on this topic.
There is no closure. The more questions you ask the more you think you can help them. Empathy we have a natural tendency to fix things and right wrongs. These people are only God's work, we cannot help them.
They are NOT normal people. If you try to rationalize their behavior, you will be going crazy. Do not go there. They are mentally ill.
Today he let out what I suspected; he thought I was crawling back after all the abuse and no apology. He truly believed money and security relieved him of any responsibility for his actions. They were unforgiveable, and today he realized I am truly never coming back. I could hear the panic in his voice. I made the mistake of leaving a book about narcissim in my room; he stole it, and it is a dire wakeup call if he ever understands the image he has created of himself and hides well. the video is synchonistic to the events I am going through. Narcs have no conscience, and no matter what they did to you, they feel no regret or accountability. They are completely abnormal people, and a relationship will never work with one of them. Thank you Rebecca; your advice is dead-on.
PS: As sad as it is, you have to be the one who is the adult in the relationship, and you must hold them accountable for their actions by not giving into their behavior. It's a societal responsibility, and a responsibility to yourself and those you love. They need to learn their lesson.
Narcs are demonic energy. They want your soul. Narcs are sadistic. Narcs enjoy causing pain and suffering and chaos.
@@Lu12340 vampiers
@@Lu12340 yes, revelations 12:9-12.
Mine was a great provider and he took care of me…..but I realized he was living a double life behind my back. When we broke up he didnt want me to move on but he always had other women….and the last straw was throwing me under the bus to his now girlfriend and our mutual friends after he was caught in a lie….I’m going 5 weeks with no contact for the first time in 11 years….unless it’s about our child…..I saw him drive by my house the other day ….that was weird because he lives in another state…
The worst thing for me is I need closure and have so many unanswered questions. Very frustrating.
same with me...
my ex-gf refused to answer questions ... which was what she did the 2 years that we were together ...
Have a work friend who is doing this. We became close during the pandemic as our place of business shut down and we didn’t have much to do. She, her husband and I hung out. I kept noticing a weird triangulation thing happening and other little jabs of control she needed. I side stepped a few of her triangatiin attempts I had gotten out of a very abusive relationship with a narc., and know some of the tactics they used and I was beginning to identify this in our friendship. I was worried at first thinking, oh I’m just labeling everyone a narc since I know the signs and behavior, I’m being paranoid. But...we returned to work a few months ago...I needed to not hang out with her as much due to well...our jobs were back...and I am now taking care of my mom. There was a conversation of we need to embrace change and move forward with the business, we have an opportunity to re-invent and She got so weird. Like her world was shattered that we would never go back to normal. Well, yes we had a pandemic. she convinced her late 20’s son to back home and she started treating me bad and it’s so funny because this is how my ex acted when she lined up a new supply...The scary thing is when I finally realized what she was...we were at this golf game thing. I have never played and she is sickly competitive. I played with another group of our friends but when I needed to put she came over from her aisle to watch me. Of course I didn’t play well because I’ve never golfed. She just laughed and laughed and made me feel like an idiot. After that day...
Sorry, your never get it you are a valued, beautiful individual they enjoy tearing down strong people it makes them feel valued and provides entertainment. Read healing from hidden abuse Shannon Thomas!
Take the L and move on kiddo you will be happy !
Narcissists never give you closure. NEVER! It’s part of the abuse. Don’t beg for it. Do your research. Cry. Scream. Swear. Drink. Sleep three days in a row. And than move on and live your best life. Without them. Declare them dead.
I still have dreams about the narcissist that I got away from, and in each dream I am ALWAYS disappointed in myself for letting them back in my life. I wake up and it takes me a second or two to remember that I'm no longer in that situation.
How are you doing now? Hope feeling well and getting your power back! Perhaps my upcoming webinar might help - ICANSLAY.COM
GIVE THEM THE GIFT OF GOODBYE.
So creepy!
I treated my ex narcissist husband with kindness no matter what for the eight years. Never showed me any appreciation, but I kept on being kind. I was his alarm clock every morning, did his laundry, woke up at 5am cooking food for him to take to work, rushed to his every need, filled out job applications for him, paid all the bills alone, and did everything possible to please him. He abused me and our children verbally, physically, and emotionally during the whole relationship. Yet I still treated him like a King regardless. I finally mustered up the courage to end it. He left and it was a massive weight off my shoulders. We didn’t talk after a while and he said he didn’t want to see the children. When I met someone else he did and said everything he could to try to come back. He went crazy, tried to use the excuse that he wanted to see the children as an opportunity to try to lure me back in. I said no. I was truly happy in my new relationship and I had to keep telling him that. He made so many threats... said he was going to kill my boyfriend, said he was going to kill himself, etc. Two years later I still have to deal with him because we have children together. He tries to abuse me through my children telling them all kinds of things, tells them to stab me and their baby brother with a knife when they get older, tries to convince them to take his gun home to kill me, and all kinds of stuff. I’ve reported it to Child Protective Services and they just think I’m crazy and are not willing to do anything about it. Aside dealing with all this, I’ve been completely happy ever since I ended the relationship with him. I would never go back. I have strict limits to communicating with him about the children. I’m just happy I’m not with a Narcissist anymore and my life has been wonderful without him.
Alena, I'm in the same boat as you. Well, on the first part of your statement. I'm creating a strategy in contacting a Family Lawyer to remove my daughter and I away from her mom/my wife. I'd say I'm staying under the radar not to expose what I'm doing and keeping everything covert. We've been together for 9 years (married 8) while each year I notice more and more of her narcissist ways is getting worse and worse. What breaks my heart is that she is doing this to our 5 year old as well... I do have the backing of support of my family and friends and they know my daughter and I are not happy. I pray that the courts will see full custody in my favor due to her mental status...
Have your kids tell the judge that
@@BLACKNIGHTKNIGHT Good luck, I wish you the best! I hope everything works out in your favor.
@@hereisayana8207 I wish it was that simple, since my children are young they said that they would not just take their word for it. I have to have actual proof. It’s so hard to prove these kind of things. And he definitely manipulates them as well so it’s like all of a sudden the kids don’t want to talk about it anymore or says “nevermind he didn’t say that”. I mean there’s definitely something wrong when your children talks about murder. Best I can do right now is guide them and teach them the right way. Although recently my children said that they’ve been staying home alone without supervision when they are with him, so maybe I can use that as leverage somehow.
@@alenamory2598 Thank you! Best of luck to you as well!🤠
9:02 - Thank you, Ms.Zung for the following "Remember they didn't attach themselves to you because you have so little value even though that's how they treated you. They attached themselves because you have so much value!" Thank you for the blessings! 🙌🏾🥰🦋
Helo Ms. Zung! Thanks so much for the personal 👍🏾
EVERYBODY has things they need to "Change" about themselves not just the narcissistic person. Hard truth.
It's Time to Break Free for Good...Let's Do This! Sign up for our free webinar and start your transformative journey- ICANSLAY.COM 💪
Sooooo creepy! They think they own you forever and it's all about a competition and winning ....Really sad!
I was treated like the world's garbage for 40yrs your right narcissist don't ever change.
They view you as what they need for their dopamine hits in relation to attention, validation, admiration, power, ego and pleasure. They're useless as partners because they don't and will never have the selflessness and empathy to care about your wants, needs and feelings as a human
So creepy... My GOD this is spot on. Going through it now after leaving my husband. He is stalking me, have gotten thousands of texts in a week and I've gone no contact. Thank you Jesus for getting me outta there alive
They do it because they realize they've lost control of you. It's the control not you they miss. I'm going through this now. He's in for a rude awakening. We go to court for domestic violence charges. And of course, it's my fault that the paramedics picked me up off the floor in a pool of my own blood. According to him I ruined his life.
Wow! I'm glad that you are better. If you want, I would advise to get a permanent Order of Protection, if you already don't have one. I have one against mine, which includes our child, praise God! Going on 3 years, and I hope it continues (forever). It truly feels like a breath of fresh air...freedom. So glad that we are now safe, happy and healthy. Thank you for sharing. All the best!
Thank You. Have to do the temporary one first. If I get a hearing granted then can be permanent. I already applied for spousal support. He has left me no choice. When they say all in divine timing, they mean it. Since he's been gone I actually haven't been having anywhere near the number of panic attacks. And since I figured out he put me in the hospital so he and his adulteress could paint the house and sell it out from under me, I 'm now good and PO'd.
@@hollyvelvetpresents1 Yes, that is true about getting a temporary one first (I did), but hopefully you are granted a hearing...
Seriously, how sad are they.. PEACE LOVE and HAPPINESS to all.
The narcissistic audacity is real.... smdh
My ex has a court order to stay away from me. It’s been 3 months no contact. Yesterday he drove by me on his motorcycle, nodded and gave me his “I love you” smile that used to melt me. I literally wanted to vomit. Yuck 🤮
I know... it's safer to hug a Honey Badger...
Yes, toxic energy makes you want to vomit.
So he broke the Court Order? You should report the incident. And if he keeps 'bumping' into you, keep a Journal.
I swear they will make you feel that way
🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮
Yesterday I found out I was dealing with a narcissist for 25 years. I feel so used. Thanks for this, it helps.
I left after 8 yrs. He went through the stages: denial, anger, love-bombing, stalking, threats, etc. We should form an online support group.
I also 26 years and I feel so dumb that I didn’t trust my feelings when it said NO 26 years ago. But I felt in his trap/web.
I can relate! Married 30 yrs here. I’ve been deathly Ill the past 9 yrs. I’m regaining my health but it’s like waking up TO a nightmare ( not FROM)!
Ugh , this is difficult. I am 100% dependent on him . He is out of the home for now.
I was with a narcissist but in truth the strong attachment can go both ways.
You can be heart broken when the narcissist no longer has a use for you.
It's been two years since I left my ex narc and it does get way better!!!
Shari sullivan,You deserve better
I'm so tired of everybody saying to me, "I sure wish you'd talk to your mom again"
Makes me want to puke
I am one and half year post divorce, my ex recently told my son to let me know he's still single. He never did, I only found out because he told my daughter about the conversation. Then a week later he tells my daughter that he's done a lot of reflecting on our relationship and he is planning on asking me out for coffee and asked how she would feel about that. She was kinda shook and mumbled something about how she just wants us to get along. He snapped, "we already get along". Apparently, that wasn't the reaction he wanted and cut their evening short. I know him. I know him, he had it all worked out in his mind. The kids would just want us to get back together and he would use them as his in. But the kids are so happy I am finally happy, no way do they want us back together. They are 23 and 27, so adults and able to see him for what he is.
What a great ending!
As someone with narcissistic parents who's really happy her mom is free, I'm so happy for you and your kids!! I don't even talk to my narc dad anymore. Hope you're all doing well and staying safe.
My daughters say the same thing. They are so glad I am free of their dad. I try to stay positive about him when talking to them but they know the truth they lived through the madness too. Free at last! Yay! Live well! ❣️❣️
I dated a Narcissist woman, needless to say my life was hell. I see your videos and you describe exactly what I lived. I didn't know the concept of Narcissist until recently. It is been 5 years I broke off from her and she still hoovering.
SPOT ON! They behave like assholes but don’t understand why we refuse to accept it! CRAZY!
Lord Jesus Help Us..
Yes please!
Jesus is always helping His children!! :) He will NEVER let us go!!! Thank You Jesus!!!
Definitely creepy. 🤨 It's when you realize they've been checking out your social media posts regularly but never actually added you as a 'friend'. (Not that you would want to add / accept them, anyway.)
Remorse is definitely for themselves - and themselves only !!! The best thing I’ve ever done was stopped putting anything on Facebook. Stopped responding to txt , stopped engaging all together. It is an amazing feeling to be free & to be totally myself again ! I’m never going back !
6 months of love bombing, hoovering, and mind games, I finally am free of this control freak.
Narc ex would never admit to missing the thrill of f**kin' me over. I sense that he is angry bc I have moved on, and he can no longer control me, my mind, or my life. Hurrah! Free at last and I love being in another country beyond his reach!
Great message! Don't go back, lesson learned. Even when you think they have changed. Dont go back, they devalue, manipulate and blindside you even worse. My ex told me he still wants to grow old w me, come back home and raise our kids. He is bettering himself, etc all the good stuff we want to hear. Then I found out he went and filed for divorce all while love bombing & wanting us to "start building on our relationship". 🤯🤬
Great advice!
@@RebeccaZungEsq do you have any insight in CA divorce? Since everything is calculated w my ex narc why would he put a separation date of 3years early? So instead of 11 yrs legally he put 7 yrs?
Papers signed and on my way to total freedom from a 33 year nightmare of a marriage. No physical abuse, thank God, but plenty of other madness that made me feel like I was losing my mind. I left once for almost two years, went back ( dummy me) left again and will never be going back. A year out and I finally feel like myself again. My mind is clearing and my emotions are settling. I don’t care what he feels like, sad to say, he didn’t care about me, I can’t let myself care about him. 😡
I'm crying reading this I'm so incredibly sad u don't know
How are you doing now? Hope feeling well and getting your power back! Perhaps my upcoming webinar might help - ICANSLAY.COM
"We can still be friends" lol
I got that as well..
first she wanted to be friends with benefits while she went back to her bf that she was with the 4 years immediately before me. ... turns out she brought 2 guys to his house & had sex with them in his bed while he was out of town. ...
and he is stupid enough to take her back & after he caught her doing that on on his home security camera's. ..
when I refused to be friends with benefits, then she wanted to be friends without the sex "because everyone needs a best friend"....
I'm 2 weeks in NO Contact now...
Why are they like this? Mine after discarding him he told me you are still my friend, ididnt respond
@@craigsauls739 why do they always want to be friends?
@@craigsauls739 bless you
Absolutely not. NEVER agree to be friends with these mental patients after the relationship is over. Trash goes in the dumpster where it belongs.
Yes, they treat you like crap, & then act as though they hadn't done a thing to you. It's so ridiculous the way they think anyone in their right mind would tolerate that by abiding their thinly-veiled invites back to it.
I was dealing with my fiancé ex wife narc. For the thousand time she provoked me into getting upset except this time I exposed her lies and cried for to leave me alone. The narc did a smear campaign against me to my future family in law. Since this has become the norm for her they didn’t believe her lies. They planned a family vacay included me and had the narc watch the dogs. I went no contact and finally getting back to being me. Your videos helped me fight back thank you so much!!
Forget what they say, this is rubbish. Look at what they do this will show who they really are.
Thank you, Rebecca, for your priceless help in my slow recovery. It started with your first video I discovered here. And then, video-by-video, step0by-step, somehow I managed to crawl back to life.... hired a lawyer, filed a police report (that will facilitate the divorce), and at my age of 72 (!!!!), I will start picking up the pieces here and live. Thanks for your angelic presence for us.
Mari Anna,You are beautiful 🌹🌹🥀,you don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!
It’s simple , you are a part of the team who deliver supply so when you reject your supply need to be delivered by one of the others.
He does his best to launder himself and tell me he loves me and never give up being my "friend". Always a hidden agenda.
Empower yourself with the knowledge and tools to outsmart narcissistic tactics in (divorce) OR (high conflict) negotiations. Unlock your potential at our free webinar! Your journey starts here: highconflictcert.com/
I suffered abuse from my boss, co-workers, and my mom. I left all of that.
Just wanted to say thank you, your videos have been so very helpful. At almost 40 years old I've finally figured out my mom is a narcissist and have gotten her mostly out of my life, and just hearing facts about narcissistic people reassures me that it's not my fault she's like that and how I will never let her do that to me or my husband and children again 💜
40 years…. It taken me 62….. to figure out my narcissistic mom… she 85 and going strong at being a narcissist
"When you get the holden key and they let you go. Run and never look back" I wish i heard this sooner cause I went back thinking we can make amends. How could I be so foolish.
Honestly the idea that my ex has been watching my socials for the last decade is music to my ears.
I am fortunate to have good, real friends who drag me out to all kinds of fun stuff, and then they post loads of photos and videos.
The idea that she has been seeing those all these years and bristling over it is satisfying.
After 28 years of marriage I was told by the ex I had done nothing & I was no one! Deciding that I deserved better & I was not going to accept living with this kind of person for the rest of my life. Realizing how much this person had depended on my support for their confidence & security. It makes sense Rebecca when you talk about how they try to make us feel worthless to have control over us but at the end, they are the one's who feel worthless. Never having felt I am worthless or not someone. Knowing who I am and loving the person I am and the reason to move on! Thanks Rebecca for your wonderful words!
How the hell you don't have a million subscribers yet is beyond me.
Thank you for all your affirmations, and insights.
Brandy C,You look stunning 🌹🌷 dear
many people are so broken from the abuse that they cannot look for answers because they are too jacked up to even ask the questions.
The reason they always think or expect their source to be around and never question that they'd leave is because of wishful thinking, just like psychopaths they lack the ability to see other possible reactions or outcomes from a situation apart from their own want or expectations. It's always about them they rarely ever give.
They like a back-up plan. They never like to put all their eggs in one basket.
you were spot on.. I won't negotiate because I'm done.. not looking back it's been 2 decades of merde. Thanks Rebecca for helping out so many people.
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So creepy...
Never go back, at best, it's not worth it, and at worst, it's DANGEROUS !
Thank God 🙏 I saw this video...complete validation to what was happening to me. It’s less than two weeks from been finally divorced from this nightmare.
Six months ago he discarded me by way of ghosting. Although very hurtful, I took that for the blessing I knew it was and ran with it, maintaining No Contact.
Haven’t heard from him since. Thank God. 🙏
Lori Paiva,Your lovely smile 😊 can make the news!!
You are very kind sir
Thank you for being on here talking about these crazy people. I was left by a narcissist in February and was sooo confused. Until I saw these videos. So THANK YOU!! ❤️❤️
this women is not an organized speaker, She is all over the place !
Walked out 12 days ago. Didn't go no contact. Yesterday, amongst floods of messages and voice notes the past few days, received this (makes me think he is low grade vulnerable narcissist. Often in tears too):
"Unfortunately this is the truth and maybe that is why I could walk out of marriages and relationships so easily before. You are the first woman to have got into my heart and that I have allowed and loved. I know that it took a while for me to get there and I was still opening up more and more as I told you new years eve, how special that was.
It's the first time that I have allowed myself to love and be loved. I know that I lash out sometimes, to protect myself and it is wrong. I should have trusted our love but now and again I got scared. I do apologize and realize that I was wrong."
The empath in me is battling with this. He has no one else at 63 (I'm 53 and worth so much better). We've "only" been together one year and I walked out once before, end of Aug and for 3 months it went really well, then he lapsed again. Really hoped he would move on swiftly.
Thanks 🙏🏻 Rebecca! U have taught me so much! I was in a “dark place” ur advice helped a lot. You helped me to change my perspective & its changing for me! The misogynist judge in our court house is leaving soon! Hallelujah
So glad to hear!
Yes that light
Have an interesting story….. recently started taking with one of his flying monkeys. I don’t know if I am saying this correctly but he was seeing other women - one in particular. He would tell her horrible things about me and tell
Me horrible things about her. We are now friends after confirming what we both knew to be true and about all the lies he told
Renee Anderson,Your lovely smile 😊 can make the news!!
run while you can
That's not unusual it's quite comforting
Now that I see clearly what that demon-possessed creep is capable of, there isn't a thing he can do to bait me back in.
By following my 4 Step plan, you can win when dealing with narcissism! Learn more >> ICANSLAY.COM🌟
After 18 months.. I just went silent mode for over a week. He thought he'd be in control by messaging me one last time and say "its been over a week since I've heard from you, i can't keep doing this, i wish you the best take care" before this he knew i was having lots of health issues, but failed to ask me.
Thank you for this video. Never came across a narcissistic person til this one.
I'm better off on my own til the right one comes along. 29 and single. Focusing on myself and achieving things. Done it before, i can do it again.
Just pray to God no other person falls into his trap just coz he's desperate to settle down. I didn't need to fix myself, or sort my head out. Mentally and physically f***ed up - excuse me for the language. Getting back to myself slowly but surely.
Hot damn!!! I have been reading most of EVERYONEs comments I cannot believe that I FELL IN LOVE with a BEAUTIFUL REDHEAD Narcissist. I MARRIED HER 4 TIMES IN LAS VEGAS to prove to her I LOVE HER and WOULD NEVER HURT HER or LEAVE HER. I am a Christian, Ordained Chaplain, 27 Year ARMY VETERAN, and Communuty Activist...My Wife last words to me in 2021...."YOU ARE DEAD TO ME". She left without REASON, ARGUMENT, or CAUSE. Lastly I saw the SIGNS YEARS AGO...but I did not know NARCISSISM and that it was DEMONIC. Thank ALL OF YOU LOVERS for your HONEST INPUT...
"Franklin HEARTBROKEN IN VEGAS BUT GOOD NOW"...
I'm living this is real life. I filed for divorce, and the stalking and harassment seems unending. The text messages all day, it's just tiring and sick.
Thank you so much for all of the content you provide. It truly helps to know that someone else understands the way narcissists operate, and how defeated you can feel while divorcing and parenting with one.
Tricia Boyer, You got a lovely smile
He was so nice, charming at first, bombing me with attention After about a yeat.., slowly,..the criticisms began, followed by a constant devaluing, mocking, blaming. They would never admit to being wrong in anythng!!! It was impossible to have a real conversation with him I realized that he fell out with every single person in his life. In the end, he accused me of being a narcissist. He's probably found a new supply. I wish them luck, they need it!!!
How are you doing now? Hope feeling well and getting your power back! Perhaps my upcoming webinar might help - ICANSLAY.COM
As part of no contact, I recommend not only refusing to look at their social media but also making your social media "friends only" and privatize it as much as possible. Do not participate in the game of providing them with any supply. If you watch their social media, or post with the underlying intention of hoping they see it, you are giving them supply (which I believe they can "feel" as Rebecca said, you are putting vibrations or frequencies into the universe) because they know you care. Indifference is the ultimate weapon against the narcissist. Not hate, not love, not anger, no revenge, no one upping them. Refusing to participate really injures them because they are narcissists and can't imagine how someone they love bombed does not care.
The lights have finally come on. Took 17 years, I'm feeling pretty trashed at the moment. Probably the lies and surely infidelity is the worst.
So, the narcissist in my life is my son. He verbally abuses me, stalks me, turned his 2 younger siblings against me, threatens suicide, uses all the tactics. He learned it from my parents who were abusive alcoholics. My son would do anything to start a fight no matter what I said I was in the wrong. As a mom I would take the abuse, he even went so far as to send me a picture of himself with a noose around his neck, and then refused to answer the phone. Then he would send a random funny article or tell me he has a gift for me. I would keep coming back, because he is my child. I don't know how to just give up on my own child. I am currently suffering from parental alienation syndrome from my younger children. I want to let go, just pretend I never had children but It is so very very hard to stop loving my children.
WOW! This is me. But include a 6 year old granddaughter. I have been hurt enough that I could let go if it wasn't for my granddaughter. She deserves so much more!!
Love them, but keep them distant if they are grown.
My oldest daughter is abusive to me too. Verbally and emotionally. Uses her children to hurt me. Manipulates my other 2 daughters against me. She's a piece of work. She will be 38 in July and acts like a 14 year old rebellious teen. She hates me but glorifies her dad that never did a damn thing for her. He was verbally and physically abusive to me. I left him years ago. She's just like him. Right down to being a pathological liar.
@@lc-bb6bd 😢😞🙏💚
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
SO creepy, so true....on so many levels! Thank you, Rebecca! 🙏
You are so welcome. Glad you're here!
So creepy how he tried to triangulate me with his 14 year old daughter (I'm the stepmom). He's exceedingly affectionate with her and was not nearly at the same level of affection with me. I was dealing with, essentially, two 14 year olds!
You are so right. I went through all that and more. I hope and pray that I never see her again in life.
They try to hold on also by arguing and blaming you for all their failures.
That was a really good video. Yes NEVER look back NEVER go back. After 20 years of a horrible marriage and pounding me for 13 years in probate court for child support somehow my ex the narcissists thought we were going to get back together. Narcissists don't understand boundaries. They don't understand consequences. And your not a person they love, you're a possession. Something they own. When I finally got her and several other unhealthy people out of my life I felt like Andy Dufraine standing in the rain in Shawshank Redemption raising my hands to the sky because I was free
get busy living...or get busy dying !!
“Give me liberty or give me death!” We can enjoy life now… whatever is left of it.
My girl said “if you get out of there, THANK JESUS!!” I hear you Rebecca- my sentiments EXACTLY!!!
on my top list in the first entry 8 minutes in is proof there was never a jesus
cristianity is narcissism
@@simionenaclably9280 people are narcissistic religion is not
@@Mylife-g2z1g You're so ridiculous you could not even watch the evidence she directed you to.
@@Mylife-g2z1g Explain how your rel--igion is not extreme narcissism ? You constantly blame-shift (and label) hundreds of other cultures/groups of ppl all over the world for your endless inner pain/suffering in your Ego mind's need for control, when those "others" had ZERO to do with it.
So sooooooooo CREEPY! Oh my gosh! Going through that now!
Yes, CREEPY!!!
Seriously! Right??
I feel like it is hard to find someone who is not a narcissist. I'm starting to think my life wants to repeat the same crap with a new person. But I won't let it go far.
I have quit my addiction to a narc. It has been five years with no contact but I'm still watching narc videos.
By following my 4 Step plan, you can win when dealing with narcissism! Learn more >> ICANSLAY.COM🌟
Thank you for the information it’s very accurate, my ex narc wouldn’t leave me alone after I left I experienced a horrible smear campaign eventually I had to change my number these ppl are insane
Yep. It is free to change up the digits/SIM card (GPS location hacking, etc etc.). I did this recently. You control who contacts the Special YOU!
So sorry to hear. Sending you light and strength!
We’re u able to get rid of the hackers etc how do you do that? Ty
My ex-husband used to call it "networking"~ (the supply)
Thank YOU!!!!!!!! Ugh! My ex was the unassuming nice one, and women everywhere just happened to fall into him,,,,,, NOT gross for a middle aged personnnnn
Wow my ex said the same and still does... Have to just laugh at the similarity.
Wowwwwww!!!!!!! Heard this before.
@@missa4026 🤣🤣🤣 yeah starting to think it’s all from the same playbook 🤣🤣🤣 yet it’s still totally gross.
Every night it was for “work”
So grateful for your videos Rebecca, speaking as someone who has removed my entire family from my life due to a narcissistic family system. I would like to offer the suggestion that the healing part of narcissistic relationships is very difficult and people who may need help negotiating with narcissists may also need to do lots of healing work as well. Thanks so much for all of your inspiration.
You are so welcome!
Me realizing that my first marriage, 20 years ago, was to my stalker.... and i was raised by two forms of narcissists (overt and covert), and I just ended, today, by letter, my *last* relationship with a narcissist (even though I divorced 10 years ago, I was still emeshed due to kids, and now I am seeing the light). Thank you for this content, and these tips!!!
This is the 1st narcissist that I have met in my life and you are so helpful and it is very very hard to break away from them.